#oneus writing

[throttlethrow]

Couch (Seoho + Leedo)

Pairing: Seoho x fem!Reader x Leedo

Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI)

Summary: You’re stuck between a hard place and a hard place. On a couch.

Warnings: threesome, oral, praise kink, unprotected sex, pet names (baby, good girl), dirty talk, bad writing

A/N: Just… A lot of filth. 1.7k words of it. It’s almost comical. I’ve been writing this on and off when the mood strikes me over a long period of time so… Have at it!

It all started from the couch; you were showing one of them a funny video and the other scooted up behind you to see what you two were laughing at. They held your phone to see the video better then dropped their hands to rest on you. One on your hip and the other on your thigh. Either they were oblivious or pointedly ignoring each other's attention. You couldn't do either. The growing heat between them made your heart race and the increasingly intimate touches were driving you crazy. But the farce kept going. Seoho wrapped his arms you from behind show you something on his phone while Geonhak rested his head on your shoulder and rubbed circles on your hip with his thumb.

You don't know what Geonhak saw when he turned to check your reaction, maybe your flushed cheeks, but he pauses and looks over to Seoho. After a moment, a silent conversation, he leans in to press his lips against yours and licks into your mouth while Seoho begins to suck marks onto your neck. Hands roam around your body and you can't tell who is doing what. Fingers dig into the softness of your thighs while another set boldly cups your chest.

Weight on your shoulders press you backwards into Seoho’s chest and he leans onto the couch armrest. Like dominoes, you all fall in one direction and you're pressed between two solid bodies. Geonhak dives back in for more kisses while pulling your hips forward to manhandle you more horizontally. He presses the bulge in his sweatpants against your heat and your arousal skyrockets when it becomes very clear that he wants to fuck you. Seoho whines as if he doesn’t want to be forgotten and rubs his hips against your back.

“You want this, right?” Geonhak rumbles against your lips when you feel hands at your waistband.

“Yes, oh my god, yes.” You pant as you help him remove your bottoms and underwear in one smooth motion. He chuckles as he tugs you farther down the couch until your head rests in Seoho’s lap. Then, he immediately dives down and, “W-wait! Fuck!!,” you shout when you feel a tongue circling your clit. Your body twitches in time with the sound of slurps as you feel Geonhak point his tongue to lick into you. His arms press your knees down into the couch to stop your wriggling. With a hard suck, he makes eye contact with you, dark and intense, to watch your reactions.

A groan sounds above you and you notice Seoho staring down at you while palming himself through his pants. You watch his eyes trace your lips and suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with the desire to take him into your mouth. Parting your lips, your tongue lolls out for two of his fingers to dip inside and you suck on them with a moan. As if trying to catch your attention, a thicker pair of fingers push into your pussy.

“Back to me,” Geonhak growls as he roughly pumps his fingers into you, “I want you to watch this.” He shoves the waistband of his sweatpants down to free his cock and lines himself up with your hole, spitting at where you connect to help the slide. A quick thought of “Wait, is that going to fit?” flits through your mind before it leaves when you feel him press into you. The head of his cock pops in and your eyes roll back at the feeling of him filling you up.

Seoho lets out a sound as he fumbles with his pants above you, fingers leave your mouth before the head of his dick bumps against your tongue. You try to twist and angle your head to take more of him into your mouth and his hips stutters at the wet warmth wrapping around him.

“Fuck, look at you,” Geonhak groans, dropping his head to watch you lap and suck on Seoho’s cock despite the awkward angle. He works his hips in slow, deep thrusts and revels at the sight of you taking cock in both ends.

“So good for us,” he breathes and you moan around Seoho at the compliment. It throws you in a spiral because you want to be good for them. Geonhak draws his hips back to flip you onto your hands and knees before gathering your hair into his hand.

“Open wide,” Geonhak murmurs into your ear and you drop your jaw open, letting him guide you down.

“F-fuck,” Seoho pants as he grips himself at the root and feeds his cock into your mouth. The feeling of it bumping at the back of your throat makes you choke out a moan. Your mouth floods with drool at the intrusion and you slurp around him before trying to swallow more.

Something hot rubs against your heat and you jerk at the feeling. “Keep going,” you hear Geonhak rasp behind you as you feel rough hands grab your waist and he slides back in. The force of Geonhak’s thrust pushes you further onto the cock in front of you. You choke around Seoho with a wet noise and arousal shoots through you at the same time his cock twitches in your mouth.

“Fuck,” Geonhak swears at the feeling of you flutter and squeeze around him. “You like that?”He breathes before he starts to snap his hips in long, hard thrusts. Your moans stutter every time you feel Seoho’s cock bumps against the back of your throat. It feels like cotton fills your head from overstimulation. You try to focus on sucking but Seoho yanks at your hair to pull out of your mouth, not wanting to finish yet. You wetly gasp and lay your head on his thigh, limp and moaning as Geonhak keeps taking his pleasure.

“You’re so good for us,” Geonhak darkly says, “We should just keep you here and take turns all night,” he grinds his hips against your ass as if he’s trying to reach deeper into you. “You’d like that, right?” You moan in response but he draws all the way back before thrusting back in hard. “Right??”

You shout “Yes!!” and you start to babble, “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” as Geonhak speeds up to a brutal pace. Almost there, almost there-! But he suddenly stops and cums with a groan. Your hips twitch against Geonhak’s from the feeling of wet warmth filling you up and you let out a sob as you feel him pull out.

“You want to cum?” he asks, pulling you up and shuffling you forward until you’re hovering above Seoho. Two sets of hands on your hips push you to lower onto the cock below, the slide easy and slick.

“Work for it.” Geonhak murmurs into your ear before he leans back. With a bit urging, you start to lift yourself before dropping back down. Gravity pulls Seoho deeper into you and knocks the air out of your lungs. To chase the feeling, you start to speed up.

"Yeah, like that. He likes it like this," Geonhak whispers into your ear as his hands guides your hips into a steady bounce on Seoho’s cock. You moan at the building pleasure and lean back to rest your head on his shoulder. The burn of your thighs sizzle like background noise like the slick noises of your bodies meeting. Geonhak wraps his arms around you to fondle your chest before moving one hand down to trace where your body stretches around Seoho's dick.

Suddenly, the rhythm changes when hot hands grip at your hips and pulls you down as Seoho thrusts up into you with a mewl. A loud moan escapes your lips as you nearly lose balance but Geonhak holds you up.

"He's close," he rumbles, "You're so good for us," You can almost hear the smile on Geonhak's lips and you shiver at the praise. Good for them, you want to be so good for them.

Seoho is moaning, light and airy, at the end of every exhale and he's nearly bucking you off at the force of his thrusts. With a broken noise, he pushes you onto your back -Geonhak laughs as he slides off the couch- and crawls over you. There's a wild look in his eyes as he hooks your legs over his arms and folds you in half. Thrusting back into you in one motion, he fucks you at a brutal pace.

"Holy shit-!" The new angle hits you in all the right places. You were already nearly there while Geonhak fucked you but being bent in half like this with Seoho's dick hitting you in the right spot, "I'm- I'm gonna-" Geonhak coos at your growing desperation, petting you and kissing you between your gasps. "Yes, baby," He growls, "Come for us."

And that was enough to set you off, fireworks light up behind your eyelids as you hit your high. Your body convulses but Seoho holds you steady and fucks you through your orgasm with rabbit quick thrusts. Your ears are still ringing when you feel Seoho thrust one more time before adding to the mess that Geonhak left inside you. He lets out a strangled groan as he tenses up against you. Then, he backs off and lets your legs flop down.

Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath with your limbs limply spread over the couch. You don’t even notice the two pairs of eyes drinking in the sight of you; bleary eyed and spread open with cum oozing out of you. Geonhak slides over for soft and sweet kisses as his fingers trace the crease of your pussy to gather up the cum dripping out of you.

“Good girl,” he breathes against your lips before pushing the cum back into you. He moves aside to let Seoho climb over for kisses as well. Licking into your mouth, he makes a small noise from tasting himself on your tongue.

“So how about it?” You break the kiss to turn to Geonhak and he smirks at you, “All night?”

Both men look at you expectantly and you huff at the sight. They almost look like puppies if they didn’t just blow your back out. “All night.”

[atiny-turtle]

who will i write about?

boy groups:

ateez

oneus

the boyz

bts

golden child

shinee

cix

p1harmony

txt

monsta x

astro

got7

nct

seventeen

sf9

stray kids

enhypen

girl groups:

red velvet

twice

blackpink

itzy

clc

everglow

aespa

le sserafim

soloists:

hur hyunjun

iu

eric nam

bibi

dpr ian

woodz

saay

sunmi

wonho

[thru-the-grapevine]

[11:46 AM] “What is that?”

It belongs in a cartoon, the way Seoho jumps a foot and turns to face you with wide eyes.

“Nothing,” he says.

His hands are cupped together in front of him, still dripping from being under the kitchen faucet. You tsk and enter the kitchen, pulling a hand towel from a nearby drawer and moving towards him. He quickly draws his hands back to rest against his torso when you get within a foot of him, hands still cupped.

You raise an eyebrow, crouching to mop at the little puddle he’s created.

“Nothing, huh?”

The way his cheeks and ears pinken is adorable. His jaw works minutely, biting the inside of his lower lip.

“Uh-huh.”

You straighten up again and fold your arms, tilting your head to try and glimpse between his cupped fingers. “Is it something I’m going to be disappointed is in my kitchen?”

He immediately starts closing the gaps of his fingers, shrinking back against the sink. “Disappointed? Not upset?”

“I’m never upset with you, bestie,” you say, feigning shock at the mere thought. “Only disappointed.”

He pouts, and maybe it takes a conscious effort not to stare at the pretty shape of his lips. Not that you’ll admit it.

“You’re only ever disappointed with me? Never pleased or happy or….anything else?”

Maybe you want to take that as something more. But what if you’re wrong? You deflect, grinning at him. “Your distractions won’t work on me. C’mon. Show me the thing.”

He swallows, then shakes his head rapidly.

You make a face at him. “Seoho.”

He shakes his head again.

You raise your eyebrows. Well. Time to play a little dirty.

You take another step closer to him and enter his space. You audibly hear his breath pause when you lean in close, setting the damp towel on the counter next to him.

“You sure?” You ask quietly, ignoring your own pounding heart. Focus.

Seoho’s next breath sounds shaky. “Mhm.”

A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. You lean in a little closer, indulging yourself momentarily and staring at his mouth as you fumble behind him to turn off the faucet.

“Very sure?” You ask.

When you drag your gaze away from his lips, you realize he’s staring at yours. A rush of warmth shoots through you. No. Focus.

He doesn’t answer, too distracted. Now’s your chance. Gently, still looking at his face, you take his hands in yours, prying them open carefully. He offers no resistance, and you glance down inside them.

“Oh my god,” you yelp. “Is that a frog?”

Immediately Seoho jumps back into action, yanking his hands from yours and cupping them shut again. “No.”

“It is,” you say, laughing disbelievingly. “You brought a frog into my kitchen.”

“He was outside in the grass,” Seoho says, voice insistent. “And he was covered in grass clippings and there was some in his eyes and I felt bad and wanted to clean him up—”

“It’s a frog!” You laugh, incredulous. “They live in nature, they get dirty, that’s just how it goes.”

“But it was in his eyes,” Seoho protests, looking at you imploringly. “I was just gonna rinse him off and send him back out again—”

“And you couldn’t have done this with the hose why?”

Seoho looks indignant, pouting. “Look at him. He’s just a little guy. He needs something gentler.”

You’re staring at his hands, shaking your head. “My kitchen sink?”

“Only for a minute,” he pleads. “It just looked painful, he kept blinking and the grass kept staying stuck in his eye and he looked so sad, you should have seen his little face, his eyes were…”

He keeps making his case, but you lose the thread, gazing at him. Sweet, stupid boy. The worst in the whole world. Caring about garden frogs. What if this is my final straw?

As it happens, it is. Before you can process what you’re doing, you’ve grabbed a fistful of his collar and guided him close, planting your lips on his.

It’s a wonderful, wonderful half a second. And then Seoho squawks in surprise and you’re pulled back into reality.

He leans back, blinking, eyes wide on you. “What? I….what?”

Your insides are swirling into a chaotic tornado of dismay. What were you thinking? “I….sorry. You were, um. Saying? About the frog?”

Seoho does not continue about the frog. He continues blinking at you, gaze trailing down to your mouth. You shift from one foot to another, uneasy.

“Seoho…?”

He leans in and kisses you again. It’s gentle, sincere, and suddenly you wonder how in the world you’ve gone this long without doing this. You kiss him back, unfurling your fingers from his collar and resting your hands on his shoulders. He settles his hands on the back of your arms, guiding you closer, kissing you in a way that makes you wonder if he’s thought about this, too.

You break apart to breathe, staying nose to nose.

“Seoho,” you murmur.

He hums quietly, resting his forehead on yours.

“Where’s the frog?” You ask quietly.

He’s staring at your mouth again. “Hm?”

“The frog. Where is it.”

He blinks, then stiffens, realizing where his hands are.

“Um.”

“Is there a frog loose in my kitchen?!”

He leans back, staring all around your feet and behind you with increasing urgency. Guiding you back and forth by his grip on your arms, checking around you. “I….maybe?”

Unbelievable. You start searching around your feet, as well.

“I’ll make you a deal. If you find him first, I’ll kiss you again.”

He turns to look at you so quickly you worry he’ll crick his neck. “What if you find him first, instead?”

You shrug, smiling hopefully. “You’ll kiss me?”

He stares at you, bewildered.

“That’s….the same thing.”

You grin. “Then we’d better find him, yeah?”

A slow, bemused grin spreads over his face.

“I….yeah. Okay.”

For @ranotonin

Admin Ellie’s Masterlist

[shmooooo]

ONEUS masterlist

main masterlist

[f] = fluff ; [m] = smut ;  [s] = suggestive ; [a] = angst

©️copyrighted, all rights reserved to @shmooooo. Please do not copy my works. I do not give any permission to translate or repost on here or on any other website.

Fem!reader unless stated otherwise! I am very willing to write gn!reader (and usually do when there’s no need to mention certain body parts)! ♡︎

❥ all members

oneus as doms [m] gn!reader

where oneus would have sex, their kinks, their reaction to their s/o's ex flirting [m] gn!reader 

❥ fics and drabbles

nothing yet!

❥ short imagines and scenarios

nothing yet!

❥ nsfw thoughts

Seoho, Geonhak, Keonhee, Hwanwoong, Dongju

[mommys8n]

Introduction

Hi! I'm Satan, aka Sage, I'm 19 and I write stuff :D

Things I write:

All of us are dead

IVE

Lssrfm

Iz*one

Aespa

NWJNS

(G)I-DLE

Twice

(ask for more ggs my memory's shit)

Ateez (new)

Svt

NCT (all units)

Skz

Enhypen

Txt

Shinee

Bigbang

AB6IX

Astro

Oneus

Nu'est

TWD(Series)

KNY

Squidgame (Jiyeong my pookie)

Onepiece

Dangit grandpa

Total Drama

-- I write smut but only characters 18+ (no aging up)

--for Total Drama I won't write smut for reboot! And for the other casts only when they are adults (for example I won't write abt them when they were in Island bc they were 16)

--I don't write for kinks such as: watersports, scat, noncon(dubcon depends), vomit ect. I might refuse some kinks, but most of them I'll write about. Pls don't get mad if I don't decide to write something -.-

--I won't write things such as incest(stepcest included,, srry), pedophilia, ect. Age gaps between legal adults is okay! Barely legal is also okay but depends kinda but mostly yeah

--pls respect my boundaries lol

--I might take a while to write!! sorry :[

--x reader is accepted as much as ships (also ships x reader) :3

anyways that's all bye :3

[includedisco]

About includedisco

I'm a blogger and a fanfiction writer.

As a blogger I talk about;

My personal experiences as a writer

Writing tips, motivation and inspiration

Writing humor

Writing realities and woes

Writing in general

As a fanfiction writer, I post short stories here on tumblr using my side blog includediscofanfics.

I mainly post on ao3 under 3 pseuds, includedisco, givemepizza and hor10nse.

As includedisco I write for Thai BL fandoms, mainly JoongDunk and FirstKhao(mostly SandRay).

As givemepizza and hor10nse, I write for TV shows Skam Norway, That 70s show; and several K.Pop fandoms such as GOT7, ATEEZ, 5HINee, Stray Kids, EXO, VIXX, and Oneus.

[seovly]

okay hear me out — being in a friends with benefits situation with seoho would be so hot?? i don't know if he's the type to get straight to the fucking but i can definitely see him tiptoeing around you after doing something dirty together once, not knowing how to act now that he's thinking clearer.

but that doesn't mean seoho isn't thinking with his dick either. he folds first. it's not so much horniness as it is teasing, because behind that "skinship isn't my thing" exterior, he's definitely the kind of guy to drive you crazy then pretend he never did anything.

that's why when you think he's going to ghost you after all the awkward, borderline avoidant eye contact, you almost drop your phone when he sends you a picture with his shirt pulled up and bulge obvious in his sweatpants. he even has the nerve to follow up with "everything okay?" when you forgot to reply, distracted by the brazenness of this normally private man.

when seoho realises the effect he has on you, you know damn well he's going to milk it for all its worth. i'm talking short videos of him jerking off, playing-innocent texts, images of whatever impossibly sexy thing he's wearing for a performance that he ends up stripping. physically? think light strokes on your waist, standing so close behind you that he's practically grinding on your ass, his hot breath on your skin when he whispers in that siren voice of his.

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

in no particular order of course more fun facts about the fic below the cut!

Read the previous set of wips here: (x).

The word count will be around the 14-15k. It's in editing hell now but you won't need to wait a month to see it like my previous one.

Ace still has his Devil Fruit powers. I like to think that after a certain point, the Devil Fruit becomes a part of your soul and body.

The phrase, "My love shall last till life be past" is a legitimate engraving on an engagement ring (x). Ace isn't a fancy guy. He wouldn't pick up big bulky jewellery but he'll give small stuff like this with his whole heart.

[faceglitchsworld]

He loved his creation and he wished to see it alive for giving them the purest form love

[sforzesco]

I guess it's time to feel /something/ about Crassus asking Pompey to help him control the crowds so he could leave Rome to Parthia, essentially having Pompey walking Crassus to his death.

HELL YEAH @garland-on-thy-brow has an extremely fun post about this

[sillyabtmusic]

so the rosalía stage break that oneus did, right? if you haven't seen it it's here (and i definitely recommend you watch it). well a while back, i wrote an analysis of the story portrayed and things i noticed in it, and i've finally decided to share it!

it's ~1.1k words, and of course my own personal interpretation, so if you read it and disagree on certain parts, or notice other things, i'd love to hear it and talk about it :•) under the read more for the sake of people's dashes

Starting with Hwanwoong's solo dance section with the backup dancers, Hwanwoong is dressed in all white while the background dancers are dressed in all black. While usually this is done with backup dancers to make the group stand out more, it works really well for the backup dancers to represent demons, demonic corruption, etc. Hwanwoong dances with them as the demon takes him over, and at one point (0:53), the backup dancers lift him and pull him back as he grins. This move, to me, is representative of the demon(s) winning over Hwanwoong, and if you'll notice, after this, bits of Hwanwoong, like his hands and top of his head, escape the black borders on the edge of the video. I adore this editing decision because it shows how Hwanwoong is no longer human, no longer bound by mortal tethers, represented by escaping the video a little bit.

In general, there's also the lighting in this section. The church is dark and lit by blue light for Hwanwoong's part with the backup dancers, which I feel is representative of the "purity" left before the demon fully takes over. Once the backup dancers leave and it's Hwanwoong's full solo, there's three different lightings. General lighting, the blue light behind him, and a dark red. The blue light is the same that represented his purity before, but now that he's been taken over by the demon, it flashes before being quickly replaced by a dark red. There's still a bit of the True Hwanwoong fighting inside against the corruption, but it's always snuffed by the demon. The decision to show this only through lighting and not through dance is fascinating because it shows how the battle is fully internal at this point, and the dance and expressions (the external part) are only the demon because the demon's fully in control now.

Following this, you have Seoho's and Leedo's duo dance section, with them in the full priest's robes. This dance part is a character introduction that's shot in the church during daytime with soft lighting, it feels holy because these priests are holy. Here, Leedo and Seoho are in full priest garb including the long robes that cover most everything, taking note of this is important later. The choreography is, by just a little, slower in some parts, and has some more open and smooth movements than compared to Hwanwoong's solo, which a tad faster and had more jerkier movements at points. The choreography is done in this way here to feel comforting almost, it's not jerky in a startling way, it's easy to follow and meant to show the priests' skill.

Another thing the choreography here shows is the unity between the priests, working together through the lord essentially, shown by their movements together (such as interlocking arms or moving their hands together) and the synchronicity between their moves when they perform separately. One smaller detail is that the stained glass above the doors in the background is alternating blue and red, and the shades match pretty well to the lighting used to represent the purity and darkness for Hwanwoong, so I like to consider it a little bit of foreshadowing of the battle ahead. In general, I think this section has a little less to analyze personally (at least compared to the other parts) because it's supposed to be a character introduction and meant to contrast and compare to other parts, but it's still really beautifully done and chock full of stuff to notice.

Part three, the battle, Leedo and Seoho as priests vs Hwanwoong, corrupted by a demon. Right off the bat, you'll notice (from the viewer's standpoint), the left side of the church is dark and unlit while the right side has the same daylight coming in that was so holy and illuminating in the previous section, and lit red in the middle. This section is supposed to represent the priest's attempts to cleanse the demon, and the demon's attempt to corrupt the priests. There are multiple moments where Seoho and Leedo are dancing separately but in tandem with Hwanwoong, such as 2:26, showing their opposing sides. The choreography of both sides works together and is the same in most parts, one because it's a group dance section, but also showing it to be a tense battle. Neither side is unskilled in what they're attempting, and neither side is so easy to back down.

Towards the end of the choreography, it becomes obvious that corruption is the winner here, in certain moves where Hwanwoong has Seoho and Leedo kneeling before him (2:58, his arm motions control their kneeling), but actually, from the very beginning of this section it was obvious the priests would lose this battle. Their outfits. In the previous character introduction to the priests, their garb was more traditional and full, this was them at their normal. Here though, it isn't, such as Leedo's sleeveless top, and the chains and accessories on Seoho (well, both of them). They are still priests, this is still them functioning as themselves, but just by the outfit change you can tell they were fighting a losing battle, it's a hint at the corruption that's already sinking its claws in from the very beginning.

Finally, the last group dance section. This is the corruption in full. The background dancers originally representing the demon(s) are back, the outfits are fully changed as it becomes apparent there's nothing holy left to be found, and they move outside of the church. There is no God left here, only the demons possessing them.

This is more of a looser interpretation on my end I'm going with, but it feels like there's a slight portrayed power difference between Hwanwoong vs Leedo and Seoho here. If you'll notice, Hwanwoong still escapes the black borders on the edges of the screen at certain moments, while Seoho and Leedo do not. This is apparent at 3:23, and their choreographic placements has Hwanwoong in the front with Seoho and Leedo behind him, which feels like a slight hierarchical thing (possibly showing Leedo and Seoho as corrupted servants, or possibly just as slightly lesser demons than Hwanwoong, but the power difference is evident no matter how its interpreted). I feel this is also evident at 3:43 when it's only Hwanwoong, Leedo, and Seoho, and Hwanwoong sends his arm out sending Leedo and Seoho down, and also following this where Seoho and Leedo are behind Hwanwoong with their hands on his shoulders, showing they are behind (under?) him but still work in tandem.

BTW if you couldn't tell I'm so normal about this video. I just love everything about it.

[decaffedthoughts]

That Flower Was You

pairing: Son Dongju (Xion)/Kim Geonhak (Leedo)

word count: 8.2k

Equal fluff and angst, I'd say

summary: After an innocuous conversation with Hyunjin, Dongju begins to question what he likes to wear and what that means for who he is. What follows is a tumultuous period of internal self-discovery and change. At the same time, Dongju continues to deal with his feelings for Geonhak, and there are a lot of those. His roommates and friends are all very aware of all those feelings, much to his dismay.

a/n: Inspired by this fic on ao3 by gardenjins! Also crossposted on ao3. In the texting sections other characters will be bold and Dongju will be regular text. Fulfilling the clownracha quarterly prompt: new year, nugu

Dongju had plenty of friends his age at college. So many of them were so cool that he had to befriend at least some. Currently, his dearest of those was Hwang Hyunjin. Of course, Hyunjin had xyr own set of friends, and boyfriends and partners of all ages. Dongju was proud to say they had regular contact, so he wasn't surprised when he received a random picture with no other message attached.

He opened it, walking back from class one day, and was surprised to see Hyunjin in a pretty little skirt. Xe was clearly standing in a dressing room and was typing while Dongju stared.

do you think i should get it?

why me specifically

gc is 50/50 split, so you’re the chosen one

i totally think you should, it’s really pretty

that’s what i said! good financial choices mean nothing when i can have pretty clothes

And that was where the conversation ended for the day. For Hyunjin, at least. For Dongju, the skirt just never left his head. He had never seriously considered wearing a skirt before. In that photo, Hyunjin looked good, and Dongju wondered if he could pull it off like xem. Probably not exactly, because Hyunjin was somehow one of the prettiest people on campus, but in xyr own way.

So, the next day, he went back to their message thread.

hey hyunjin do you have other skirts too?

ooooooooh yes i do! good morning to me

Dongju breathed out a laugh, watching Hyunjn type, likely taking longer because xe was trying to type and take photos simultaneously. What followed was about an hour of Hyunjin going through their impressive skirts collection, some highlights from other closets, and a nice long tangent on Changbin's dresses. Dongju only sent a word occasionally commenting on a particularly nice item. Hyunjin always responded with "noted", but he didn't mind.

It culminated in Hyunjin finding xyr own only dress, to which xe assured Dongju xyr getting more soon. The picture immediately took Dongju's breath away. Hyunjin was wearing a gorgeous strawberry dress. Dongju was never interested in the dress while it was a tiktok trend, but suddenly, he understood why everyone else was. The original dress was a little expensive at $500, but Hyunjin found a silhouette they liked for a little less. More than Dongju would spend on a single clothing item in college, but that's what would happen when you had 2 rich boyfriends who loved to spoil you.

Dongju couldn’t stop staring that time, but it felt different in a way he couldn't explain. Hyunjin emphasized that clothing was just pieces of fabric and said little to nothing about your gender, but Dongju felt something different when he looked at Hyunjin spinning in a field in a dress. He both could and couldn't imagine himself doing it at the same time. It was an abstract feeling. Like he couldn’t because he hadn’t ever done it before, and it sort of felt like he wasn’t allowed to, for some reason. But he could, and he wanted to, to feel the freedom that Hyunjin embodied in that photo. 

All of that stayed inside for now until he could make a little more sense of it.

"Oh." Dongju breathed.

It felt better than anything he had ever worn, and he couldn't imagine anything else being even better. It felt so right. He spun, and the translucent layer hung long and brushed over his calves softly. Slowly, he looked up at the mirror he knew was there. It's hard because despite the pretty, flowing skirt, everything else about him is still distinctly masculine, or so he thinks. Maybe Hyunjin would say otherwise, but some things weren't meant to be spoken out loud yet. They'd just live in Dongju's head for now.

It was more apparent when it was on him that the gold pieces were meant to be little fireworks. It was pretty. Not a word Dongju thought he would ever be allowed to use to describe himself, but it felt good. He likes being pretty. Inside, his childhood self is clapping and watching with adoration. This could be the beginning of everything that child wanted.

Now, it was different. Because he'd thought that Seoho was pretty and Seoho was a man. He thinks Geonhak is pretty on a daily basis, and Geonhak is probably more secure in his masculinity than anyone else Dongju knew.

"Ju? You all good out there?" Hyunjin's voice came, muffled, through the door.

Dongju mentally curses, he forgot Hyunjin was here, how rude. But it's so easy to just keep staring at himself in the mirror and going over 50 arguments about why this is a good and a terrible decision.

"Yeah! You can come back now." Dongju said.   

Hyunjin flings open the door, only stopping it from slamming back against the stopper with the tips of xyr fingers. Dongju would be impressed with xyr reflexes if he wasn't otherwise occupied. And he certainly is, swaying back and forth and feeling it brush softly against his legs. A little bit ticklish but mostly pleasant.

Hyunjin squeals at both a pitch and volume too loud for what is meant to be happening in the dorm today, which is nothing. Dongju hurriedly shushes xem, and Hyunjin apologizes softly but kept xyr eyes on the skirt.

"It's like it was made just for you, Ju. Look at you." Hyunjin lifted xyr eyes to Dongju's face and practically melted at what xe saw.

Dongju was staring at himself in the mirror again, wholly entranced. "I look like myself. I feel like myself. This is incredible."

Hyunjin didn't have any words to answer with, xe just smiled at Dongju through the mirror, glad xe could bring this piece of joy to xyr friend.

"I'm gonna bring you so many pretty skirts. I don't think any of Changbin-hyung's dresses would fit you, though, sorry. His shoulders are stupid wide."

Dongju sighed, but he didn't expect much from that. And the idea of being small, smaller than Changbin is kind of nice. His group of friends was great for that because all but one were either the same height or taller than him. And what Hwanwoong lacked in height, he more than made up for in energy and feistiness.

They did this over and over again. Dongju suspects that not all skirts were recycled hand-me-downs but new gifts, but he didn’t say anything. It's not like he had a receipt or anything to prove it. Just a feeling. Either way, it's nice to be spoiled by someone else without asking. The last time he felt like that was when his parents would bring home the toys he wanted without asking. Or would the times that the others show up with food count? Either way, he felt spoiled in a way that he rarely did.

It happened so often that the others were not necessarily suspicious, just a bit confused. Hyunjin came in with a bag, stayed for an hour, and then left with nothing. No one knew what was in the bag or where they went because Dongju made them disappear.

Internally, he was becoming more confused by the day but said nothing to anyone. He'd noticed being out in public is a little more uncomfortable, and he didn't like people looking at him. Sure, he didn't really before, but it wasn't so visceral and uncomfortable then. There wasn't an apparent reason why in his head, so he just kept moving along and trying to avoid being around many people in public.

The other strange thing is the slight wrongness under his skin when someone calls him a man. At first, he just attributes it to not feeling like a proper adult despite being almost done with college. It lasts a few weeks until he googles it to see if anyone else felt like this and how they deal with it.

The results he got were... different. Reddit post after Reddit post, ranging from one reply to almost a hundred.

I don't feel like a man, but nothing else seems right. What do I do?

I feel uncomfortable when people call me a man or a boy, it feels wrong. Anyone else feel this way?

I have long hair, and someone behind me assumed I was a woman. Why did I like it so much?

Dongju had thought about growing his hair long once, and Hyunjin regularly oscillated between shoulder length and short hair. What if someone mistook him for a woman in public because of his hair? It didn't feel *wrong* per se, but that was probably just because it was a theoretical experience, and he wasn't actually experiencing it. If he was called a woman, he'd definitely be weirded out. Definitely.

The googling continued, and Dongju found other pieces he related to in some people's stories, so he kept looking. However, the more he looked, the more similar the results became.

Trans, egg, trans woman, trans femme, agender, non-binary

He'd heard some of the terms from Hyunjin, who also gracefully explained what they meant personally, but Dongju would never have connected them to his own experience. And he continued to be determined not to.

There was no moment in his childhood where he wanted to try on a dress or makeup or anything like that. Nobody teased him for being different like that. Mainly, they focused on him being nerdy or quiet or something. He never found himself wishing his body was different or that his puberty was wrong.

But... sitting in his room in the dark, Dongju let himself wonder for a little bit. What happened at 2am didn't count, so he ignored it until morning.

What would it be like if his voice hadn't dropped in middle school and stayed slightly higher? Or what if his body was smaller and rounder, rather than the muscle his roommates had encouraged him to build?

Dongju clicked his phone off and slapped it down, throwing both hands over his face as if to avoid looking at his thoughts. Surely, there was no way that he liked some of these thoughts? There was no way he would want a different body or a lighter voice or to be accepted in longer hair and skirts. No, this was just slight sleep deprivation and a sign he should stop staying up so late googling this nonsense. He silently resolved to get a better sleep schedule over the next few weeks, which would solve everything.

Getting more sleep was pretty good for him, but it didn't solve anything in thinking about what he'd be like as a woman. If anything, it was worse because it also started being in his dreams. Some were more like his current self and experimenting, but some looked completely different.

Dongju would wake up and lay in bed, turning the dreams over in his mind until he woke up more and realized what was happening, shaking it away and ignoring it for the rest of the day.

Eventually, it wears him down a little, seeing the same dreams and thinking about the repetitive results he got when googling such personal experiences. There were some queer clubs/groups on campus, so he went out to one of them.

Thankfully, Dongju hadn't met any of the people before, so they just nod and accept him. They don't ask him any questions, and he didn't say much in return and instead just listens. It didn't provide any answers but is a friendly little community.

He went for a few weeks, becoming somewhat of a new regular. It came to the point where they start asking him questions.

Name? Easy. Pronouns? Dongju hadn't properly admitted it to himself yet, but exclusively he/him didn't feel quite correct anymore, and he didn't know what to replace it with either.

"Um... not sure yet. That's why I started coming here. He/they, I guess?" That was the best answer he could get out.

The person, Moonbyul, just nodded and didn't question it. She seemed really chill. He kept going, talking to more and more people and becoming less and less sure of everything. At some point, Moonbyul and another girl named Yoohyeon. He was a little scared at first, and it must have shown on his face because both laughed and assured him they were committed lesbians.

One night, he texts Moonbyul impulsively before he could convince himself not to.

Hey

Hello there

Can you try something out for me? She/her pronouns. Not in person, just like. A short text

interesting. sure Dongju is a new friend of mine. I think she's kinda cool

Dongju stared at the text for a while without responding, internally repeating it again and again. I think she's kinda cool. She is. She.

You alive over there?

Oh, um yeah Just.... yeah

It felt good?

Hah, I guess so

Well, welcome to the club I guess

Lol the club of what? Womaning? Am I a woman? Oh god

Hah, I'll let you figure that out I can't answer it for you Want me to tell anyone, or are you doing it yourself?

No, I'll do it myself. Just... give me some time He/they for a while, if you don't mind

Yeah, whatever you need Just lemme know when it's gonna be okay

Dongju sends a simple heart before closing her phone and then her eyes. Now what? Seriously, how do people deal with this and then move on? Who should she tell first? What should she tell them? How long should she wait? Now she knew, and there was only so long she'd be able to handle the wrong pronouns now that she knew the right ones and what they feel like.

She picked her phone back up and looked at the time. Damn, no time for a crisis right now, she had an assignment due that night that she'd done hardly any of.

After submitting the assignment Dongju was so exhausted from several hours of adrenaline-fueled work that she was exhausted and went right to bed. It took her a while to fall asleep, but she had no space to think of much.

The next day, she had nothing else pressing, so she spent almost an hour wondering what to do. After she eats breakfast she just sits at the table and stared into space. Her other roommates seem to be out or asleep, so none of them were there to ask what the fuck is going on and she could zone in and out in peace. The clock on her phone ticked over to 11am, and she decided to get out of there before her luck ran out and she had to explain or find some excuse.

When she returns to her room, Dongju is struck with sudden inspiration. Hyunjin! Xe'll obviously be okay with it and might even have some advice on what to do now. It's not a 1-1 exact experience, but it's something, and god knew she needed anything right now.

Hyunjin answered fast, and she was there a 30-minute bus ride later. One I'm here text and a knock later, and Hyunjin is practically bouncing as xe lets them in. Most of their boyfriend roommates were also home, so it was much louder, and Dongju stared wide-eyed. She'd been here before, but usually, it was much emptier and quieter. It made it less likely that someone would hear them talking over all the noise, which was nice.

Minho, Chan, and Seungmin all nod at her, and Jisung and Felix take a break from intense Mario Karting to wave. It was nice because she'd hardly talked to any of them, but they accept her like it's nothing just because she knew Hyunjin so well.

Hyunjin closed the door behind them and plops down on xyr bed, looking at Dongju.

"So, what's up? You never ask me to come over, and it seems serious."

Dongju starts fidgeting with her clothes awkwardly. How the fuck should she do this? Ugh.

"Um... well. Okay, I'm not sure sure yet, but I think I might be uh. Fuck, I hate this. Why is it so hard."

Hyunjin snorts before slapping a hand over xyr mouth to stop anything else. Xe stands up and forcefully pulls Dongju over to sit next to them.

"Unless you say you're like... getting married or something, I'm not gonna judge you. You see the fucking circus of people I live with. You're so normal in comparison to all of that."

It's genuinely a little reassuring to be "normal" for a minute. Dongju had been so caught up in feeling alone and not knowing who to go to that she forgot she was not completely alone. Personally, or just in other people who have these feelings.

"Thank you. I'm... I think I'm trans." She lets it hang in silence for a moment. "But you know, I'm not totally sure! I just had someone call me she over text, and it felt really nice. Yeah."

Dongju waits, staring down at her hands in her lap and waiting for Hyunjin's response.

"Okay, I was waiting to make sure you weren't gonna blurt out anything else. This is so exciting, though, oh my goodness! Am I the first person you told? Other than the friend you texted, who I definitely need to know more about." Dongju nodded slightly, and Hyunjin clapped in excitement. "Ah, I'm so honoured!"

Hyunjin launches xemself forward into a forceful hug on Dongju, who freezes for a minute but melts into it. She wasn't the biggest fan of hugs and whatnot, but she felt like she needed it now. They pull back, and Hyunjin is seriously beaming. It made Dongju a little less nervous, that this wasn't a bad thing and that maybe she'd make new friends or get closer to other friends.

"I get to be your little trans fairy godmother, this is wonderful. So, do you wanna tell me more about all of this? How did it happen, what are you doing now, any of that?"

Dongju laughed nervously, biting the inside of her cheek. "I'm not sure there is much to tell. It was months ago I started looking online cause I didn't feel like a man and thought it was just because I didn't feel like an adult yet. Then I started going to one of those college queer club things. That's where I met Moonbyul, the friend I texted, and she's super chill and open. I just randomly texted her and was like, hey, can you do something for me, use she/her pronouns in a message about me. She did and I don't even know how long I sat there looking at it, and it felt good, so I thought I was actually going insane. Like, no way. Yeah, that was, like, a week ago. And now I'm here."

Hyunjin looked at her with this strange little look on her face, like xe was proud and upset at the same time.

"Oh, my goodness. Little trans egg Dongju, not knowing what's happening. So you said not a man, but do you know what you might be more comfortable with now? Like, are you a girl, a woman, or not quite all the way that way? I just don't wanna say trans girl or trans woman or call you girlie if you're not, you know. And you don't have to have an answer yet! It's only been a week, so we can just keep testing what you like."

Dongju sits momentarily and thinks about it because she hadn't allowed herself to do so thus far. Is she a girl or a woman, or is she closer to some of those other terms she had seen?

She didn't know yet was the honest conclusion she came to, and she tells Hyunjin as much.

"Yeah, that's so fair! You've only known for like a week. So just tell me if I say something weird, or if I say something good!"

Hyunjin's the best person Dongju could've asked for on this journey. Xyr knowledgeable but also accepting and often upbeat. Of course, xe had xyr own serious and sensitive moments, but in general, xyr is just kind of chilling.

She spends another few hours there, just hanging out with one of her good friends, and it's lovely. Maybe she should get out more often, like Seoho said. God forbid she tell Seoho he was right about something, though, never.

As Dongju heads home, she considers when and how to tell her roommates about this. They're roommates and some of her closest friends, so there's no world where she didn't tell them. For now, everything was going perfectly fine. Her marks were good enough to pass, she'd got good friends, and she'd been learning more about herself. What more could someone ask for? Well, probably a whole lot more money, but that's beside the point.

But something had to break eventually, and in Dongju's opinion, it happened in the worst way.

It was another day, another Hyunjin visit.

In the house, they weren't in the habit of busting into other people's spaces, and to be fair, Geonhak did knock first. Unfortunately, the two seconds of warning provided was not enough for Dongju to make any meaningful attempt to hide. Geonhak must be way more flustered than Dongju could have guessed because it took a solid few seconds before he noticed.

His face got all red, and he couldn't stop staring. Dongju would like nothing more than to somehow evaporate. Or turn invisible, or teleport, or literally anything to make Geonhak stop staring like that. It made her feel itchy, and wrong. Even though she knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, it's a piece of fabric.

"Are you gonna say anything? I feel uncomfortable and I'm not even involved." Hyunjin speaks, breaking the tenuous silence.

Dongju couldn't tell if she should thank xem or smack xem. Geonhak flinches like he was hit and starts about 6 different sentences before he commits to one.

"You look good, Dongju. Seriously. But, uh, if my laptop isn't in here, I should go. Have fun."

Geonhak waved awkwardly and then closed the door behind him. Dongju breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Could he have been lying? Sure, maybe. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't say something like that just to spare someone's feelings, and certainly not Dongju's. They'd known each other for too long to pretend like that.

She'd take what she could get because it was nice. Hearing it from Geonhak directly gave her a little confidence boost. Maybe she'd show him more pretty things in the future, if the mere thought of doing so didn't make her want to explode.

"That was good! I've been telling you they won't care. First guy down, and he was the one you cared most about!"

Now it's Dongju's turn to flinch, because she certainly had not told Hyunjin about her crush on Geonhak. She would remember that.

"Who said he was the most important one? Who are your sources?" Dongju raises one eyebrow, trying her best to look suspicious and not nervous.

It did nothing for her, so the effort was really just wasted.

"Oh come on. Whenever I brought up telling somebody you'd always mention him first. Every single time. I'm not that stupid."  

Dongju had no counter to that, unfortunately. She simply sighed, then nodded and watched as Hyunjin grinned in triumph.

After the Geonhak skirt fiasco, Dongju decided to move along a little more because clearly, things would come to light whether she wanted them to or not. And Dongju did not like being out of control like that, not about her own identity. So she planned, and she wondered, and she panicked, and she cried a little. Ultimately, she knew she couldn't control her friend's thoughts and reactions and would just have to trust that they would accept her.  

"Hey, uh, guys?" Dongju peeked around the door, and all their heads snapped over to her at her voice.

It's clear they're all anxiously waiting, because she gave them almost no information on what was happening. Just that she had an announcement. Geonhak looked a little more relaxed, he must assume he already knew what this is about. If it were any other situation Dongju might have laughed, but she was too stressed about this to even try. He was about to get the shock of a lifetime.

"Okay, first of all, this." She hesitated a moment before stepping out from behind the door.

Hwanwoong is the first one to say anything, "cute!"

Agreements from everyone else ring out after. Geonhak leaned back onto the couch a little bit with a smug smile.

"I already told you I think you look good in this one." He said.

It's true, and precisely why she chose this skirt specifically. Geonhak wouldn't steer her wrong, which gave her peace knowing he would be behind her for this part. The rest of them explode, demanding to know why he got to see before the rest of them. Dongju rolls her eyes, these guys never change.

"It was an accident! Stop all your complaining, my ears hurt." She shuts them up fast, but they still don't look happy. Hwanwoong in particular side-eyes Geonhak and if she didn't want to avoid another argument Dongju might have laughed.

"But you said first of all right? So I feel like there's something else still." Seoho said, turning back to her.

Ah, trust Seoho to pick up on and remember that. Oldest of the friend group, always paying too much attention.

"Yeah." Dongju sighed.

She went over her mental script and the answers for the immediate questions she had a feeling they'd have.

"This is really hard, so I'll tell you when I'm done. Just… wait." She pauses, trying to force the words out of her mouth. "I'm trans. I'm a girl. And if that changes anything between us I'm sorry, but I can't live like this anymore. Hearing 'he' is grating, and being called a man makes me want to claw my skin off. I'm sure you have questions, ask away. Unless you just wanna kick me out right now. Yeah, I guess that's all.."

A few seconds of silence pass as they all process everything she'd said. Geonhak got there first, his face twisting in displeasure.

"We're not kicking you out. If anyone wants you to leave just because of this, I'm telling them to leave, not you."

A few tears well up, but Dongju starts blinking them away, determined not to cry about this in front of them. They all agreed quickly after that, and Dongju couldn't be more relieved.

"It might be hard at first, and I'm sorry for when I say something wrong. But you're still you, and I still love you." Seoho said.

Damn you, Seoho. That did it. Dongju crouched and hunched in on herself, suddenly sobbing almost violently. An explosion of emotion that no one was prepared for. All 4 men close in quickly to try and comfort her, murmuring comforting words. What Dongju is even less ready for is Geonhak petting her hair. It felt so good that she leaned towards him a little, only realizing when her side hits his knee, and she jerks back.

He didn't push it, which Dongju was very thankful for. She could only handle so many emotions at once, and flustered embarrassment would not be one of them. It took a while, and at some point, they all have to sit down to avoid their legs and feet going numb. Eventually, Dongju's tears slow, and she begins to breathe correctly again.

Someone's warmth disappears from behind her, and half a minute later, Keonhee crouches in front of her, a large glass of water in hand. She took it gratefully and downed it, not realizing just how dehydrated all that crying made her.

She did feel a little more clear-headed now. No one was upset, they all rushed to comfort her, and everything was still okay. Nothing is perfect, but things should get a little easier now.

What did not get any easier is having feelings for Geonhak, but at this point, Dongju expects that. She wasn’t even sure if her gender complicates things because she'd never heard of him with someone else, and he didn't talk about it either, at least not with her. And she'd rather fling herself into space than ask him, so she did some information-gathering first. In the process, she learns some harsh truths.

"Oh, are you thinking of finally confessing to him?" Hwanwoong asked.

Alarming statements all around, considering she had not spoken a word of her feelings to him. Lying to Hwanwoong was useless, especially since she was sure her shock was written all over her face already.

"Who told you? I bet it was Hyunjin. I never should have trusted that snake." Dongju bit her lip and contemplates the best method of revenge for this betrayal.

"What? No. I figured it out because when he's not looking, you look at him like he's the best thing since iced americanos. It would be sweet if it weren't so awful."

What if she murders this guy one day because spewing such absolute nonsense should be a crime. Surely, she looked at Geonhak in a completely normal way.

"Like he personally puts the moon up every night. I think it's sweet, but you didn't seem ready to talk about it, so I didn't say anything." Seoho said, staring at her and shrugging.

"This may be the worst day of my life," Dongju declares, and Seoho sputters. "My roommates know I have feelings for this guy, but I didn't tell any of them. What am I doing wrong?"

"Are you always this dramatic? Or does Geonhak just inspire that in you?"

Dongju ignores him in favour of pondering how her life led to this point. If she was so obvious about it, did Geonhak know too? He wasn’t the most observant guy, but it wasn’t like he was completely oblivious. Now, she had to deal with a new layer of nervousness around him, as if she wasn't doing badly enough already.

Despite that, she manages to be reasonable and normal around him, or she assumes. It all crumbles when they're out one day. They're all just walking around together, being menaces and taking up the whole sidewalk. Suddenly, Seoho flinches and sidesteps into Dongju, who yelps and glares. Seoho defends himself very quickly by pointing to the kid attached to his leg, who looked to be on the verge of tears. Geonhak moved so fast, and Dongju took a half-step back in shock.

"Hey, little buddy. My name is Geonhak, what's yours?"

The kid hesitates, clearly heeding stranger danger warnings but too far from any parental figure to say no.

"Hajun."

"Nice to meet you, Hajun! These are my friends. Can we help you find your parents? I bet they're very worried. Where did you see them last?"

"Back there. But they were going that way. I just wanted to look at the cool toys." His eyes start welling up again, but Geonhak is faster.

"Very good! You wanna go up on my shoulders? Then you can tell us about them, and we can all look together."

That dried the tears quickly, and Hajun nodded so fast that Dongju worried for his neck. Geonhak crouched down, and Seoho leaned down to assist Hajun's little legs up. Hajun squeals when Geonhak stands, and he flew up. For a moment, Dongju relived the weightless feeling she remembers as a child. She snapped out of it when they started walking, and Hajun began to talk.

"My mommy is kind of short, and she says one day I'll be taller than her. I'm so excited. But I won't be taller than my dad 'cause he's tall like you, Geonhak-ssi!"

Incredibly cute but not helpful. Many women were short, and plenty of men were tall, like Geonhak. Dongju was hoping that Hajun's parents recognized him and come over because she wasn’t sure that he would be helpful in their search.

"I bet you'll grow tall like your dad, Hajun. What are your parents wearing? Some cool outfit just like you?" Geonhak asked, and thank goodness for him. Dongju didn't know where they'd be otherwise right now.

Of course, Hajun only locks on to the most important part of that message. "You think my outfit is cool? Thanks Geonhak-ssi! I think your outfit is cool, too."

Dongju had to admit the kid had taste. Geonhak had a monochrome outfit on, and Dongju had been staring. A black and white jacket, a white shirt with some indeterminate design, and lethal black skinny jeans. She had tripped several times today because she was staring at his ass. In her defense, it's a nice ass!

"Thanks, buddy. What cool outfits are your parents wearing?" Dongju mentally congratulates Hwanwoong on the seamless transition.

"They're not wearing cool outfits! Not like you, mister." Hwanwoong visibly preened at the compliment, and in Dongju's opinion, it was horrifying. "My dad is wearing his weirdo One Piece shirt, and my mom is wearing her nerdy Sailor Moon shirt. They always argue about which one is better. I think it's dumb cause Naruto is better. Obviously."

"Obviously." Keonhee laughed, and Dongju found herself laughing along, too, amused by this child's certainty about his opinions.

They walk, and they keep walking. Dongju was starting to get worried that Hajun's parents were behind them somewhere or crossed the street to look and that they weren't going to find them. But she didn't say anything, so they just kept going.

"Hajun!" They hear, and they all whip around to find the source.

Two people frantically pushed through the crowd towards them and shouted for Hajun. Hajun himself starts wiggling, and it took quick moves from Keonhee to avoid either Hajun or Geonhak getting injured. Hajun and his parents meet in the middle in a heartwarming moment. His mother looked near crying, clearly frantic about losing her son for several minutes. His father hardly looked any better, but Dongju could see the panic melting away into relief. After a minute or three, they stand and look at the group.

"Thank you so much for helping him. We were so afraid when we looked down, and he wasn't there anymore. I should have been paying more attention." Hajun's mother said.

"No, no, it was my pleasure. He's a very well-behaved kid, you're doing well with him." Geonhak said sheepishly.

"You're very kind, thank you. Okay. Hajun, buddy. What do you say to the kind people?" Hajun's father bent down and asked.

Hajun gasped, bowing to them all. "Thank you, Geonhak-ssi and friends! I had fun."

Hajun stands and beams at them all, and they all look back at him, smiling just as sweetly. Of course, Dongju is drawn to look at Geonhak's smile. He seemed to be smiling the widest of them all, and Dongju would bet 10 bucks that he was already attached to Hajun.

It was devastating, and Dongju is barely holding herself together. She was able to keep it together while searching because that was much more pressing, but now Hajun is safe, and she had nothing else to focus on. The family walks away, talking happily amongst themselves and moving on with their day.

Thankfully no one is paying attention to her, and she had a few moments to pull herself together while they all discussed Hajun's cuteness on a scale from 1-10. Or, she thought no one was looking at her, but she heard her name in the middle of one of her deep breaths. It's a tone so familiar that her eyes snap open and immediately slide over to him. True to form, Geonhak is looking at her, practically staring her down and analyzing her from head to toe. She knew the man better than almost anyone else and still found it intimidating.

"You okay, Ju? You seemed upset." Geonhak asked.

"Of course! Just a little tired and stressed from being surrounded by all these people, you know how it is." Dongju throws on her best little smile and prays it's good enough for him to believe.

It seemed to be, as Geonhak watched her for a few seconds longer, then nodded his head, seemingly seeing what he needed.

"Okay. Let me know if you need a break. We can go to the side, or I can take you home."

Dongju could kiss him on the damn mouth right now, but that would defeat the whole point of her holding her feelings in. Instead, she just nodded, and they kept moving on with their original plans for the day out. They still circle back to Hajun occasionally, talking about how cute he was or how it was good he found them and not some creepy people, but mostly how cute he was. It's mostly Geonhak leading that part of the conversation, and Dongju had to actively and viciously squash down the thought of Geonhak with his own children and what they would look like.

They enter some random store, and a few minutes in, Seoho pulls her over to the side and starts whispering before Dongju could even process what was happening.

"You looked like you were in pain while Geonhak talked about that kid. Are you okay?"

Dongju externally just sighed, but inside, she was crying and about to lose it. Was she really that obvious? Oh, god. Hopefully, Geonhak was too distracted thinking about Hajun and didn't notice. But he was so observant, so he probably did, and thought she was a total weirdo. It was over.

"Dong. Ju. Shut that head up and answer me." Seoho hisses.

"Fine, I'm fine. Typical crisis about how cute he is with kids, no biggie. I just have to pray he didn't notice me being weird." Dongju shook her head.

Seoho waved it off. "Not much weirder than you normally are, it'll be fine."

Dongju is about to ask exactly what the hell that is supposed to mean, but Geonhak decided it is the perfect time for him to appear.

"Why are you two hiding in the corner? You could've told us if you wanna leave." Geonhak tilted his head, and Dongju had to take a deep breath before she said something stupid. It was really a problem.

"Nothing, nothing. Our little Ju is just having some boy problems." Seoho grins wickedly and casually strolls off, leaving Dongju silently plotting how to murder him quietly but painfully.

When she looked over, Geonhak looked... strange. When he saw her looking, he smiled and put on his older brother face.

"Boy problems, huh? You know you can come to me for those. We gotta make sure he's good enough for you." Geonhak said seriously, and it took everything in Dongju's muscles not to react in any of the immediate ways she wanted to.

"Ah.... seriously. You'd like him. He's protective, kind, smart, and funny. Too good to be liking someone like me." Dongju sighed, staring at her feet.

Geonhak made some strange set of offended noises. When Dongju looked up, she saw his accompanying twisted face and knew what was about to come.

"He'd be an absolute fool not to like you! If he's that dumb, then you're too good for him." Geonhak said.

Once again, Dongju had to tamp down the ironic laugh that wanted to jump out. She wishes she could tell him not to be so mean to himself, but she categorically refuses to confess publicly. If she had to do it, it would not be in some tacky clothing store in the middle of the day.

"Thanks. Anyways, not like I'm going to do anything about it. So, if he likes me back then we'll never know."

Geonhak wanted to protest, she could see it in his face, but Keonhee popped up from behind a rack and told him to come look at something. How neither of them saw that man the size of a tree walking over was entirely unknown, but Geonhak smiled awkwardly and shrugged. Dongju laughed a little at him and waved him off.

It hurts to be so close yet so far. Was Geonhak's praise a platonic or, romantic or other type of praise? At least it was genuine, which always felt good, but it made her heart go wild in a way that she shouldn't know if she should be accepting or not. He didn't seem overly bothered by her so-called "boy problems," which told her nothing.

Dongju had always and would always go to her mother for help if she needed something. That bond hadn't broken through time and change, and she loves her mother through all of it.

The first piece of advice is entirely expected.

"Give him food, honey! Everyone loves food, and not having to make it is nice. You've always said that man of yours is like a vacuum for food, and you know he'll appreciate the effort."

Dongju felt herself light up like a fire truck at "that man of yours" and immediately starts whining. It's a good thing she remembered to put her headphones in before this because if anyone else is home, they do not need to hear this. They'd teased her about this enough as is. Her mother laughed and ignored all of Dongju's very valid complaints.

"I've seen that man, and I know you'll get him. Though, you should do it quickly, just in case. Someone else might come along, and he might choose them if he doesn't know you're an option." Her mother said wisely.

Dongju just sighed because she knew, but hearing it from someone else was scary. Sitting back and watching Geonhak fall in love with someone else would tear her apart. If she tried, she'd know it wasn't meant to be and could try to move on.

"Ah, yeah. I know."

"If you know, then why haven't you done it yet, my girl! Make him your man properly."

Dongju's heart warmed hearing "my girl" come so naturally from her mother's mouth. It had taken a bit of accidental slip-ups, but her mother was so proactive that it was over quickly.

"I should do it soon, right? Kick everyone out and then surprise him after the gym or something. Yeah."

"Yes! It'll be perfect, he'll be so hungry, and then you can get out of your own head and talk to him when he's done."

Dongju's jaw nearly cracks at how quickly it drops open in sheer offense at her mother calling her out. She might be correct, but damn, she didn't need to say it like that! Her mother just cackles through the phone and waves goodbye, hanging up before she could get upset. Dongju lets out a short yell and then groans loudly, flopping back into her pillow pile.

After a short moment, a knock came at her door and opened after she called out some strange, probably affirmative, noise. Of course, Geonhak peeked around the corner, smirking in amusement when he saw her body flopped haphazardly all over the blankets and pillows.

"Everything okay in here? Nothing seems broken." He cautiously looked around, searching for anything broken or injured.

"No, I'm okay. Sorry. My mom was teasing me when I called her, and then she hung up before I could get her back."

Geonhak laughed, and Dongju pouted at him until he noticed.

"I love your mom, seriously. Is she gonna come down again soon? It's been a while."

"Why do you like my mother so much! She's gonna adopt you as her own damn son at this rate."

Geonhaks clicked his tongue and shook his head at her. Dongju felt slightly offended by it but let him speak before she ripped his head off. He should have felt lucky that he was so pretty (and kind and funny and-) because Hwanwoong would absolutely not be given that grace.

"You gotta make good impressions on everyone's moms for 2 reasons: they would believe you about anything and give you banging free food." Geonhak nodded slowly, like he'd just told Dongju the secrets of the universe.

He wasn’t wrong, but it was a little lackluster. For now, he lived.

Dongju had planned everything out, and it would convince Geonhak that she was very dateable. Until that confession happened, Dongju's roommates would still have to deal with her rants regularly. She loved them, even if she'd never say it.

Today's victim was Seoho.

"Seriously, dude. Seeing him with that kid permanently rewired my brain, I swear to god." She groans.

Seoho looked at her for a moment. "I don't know how that's possible, given how down bad you were before."

Dongju sits up, mouth hanging open and glaring at Seoho. She flops back into his pillows when he simply raises an eyebrow, silently screaming and kicking her feet.

"1. Rude. 2. It is possible. My brain is losing it 24/7. Do you understand how hard it was not to say something like 'hi, Geonhak! After seeing you with that child, I can't stop thinking about having an apartment with you and seeing you wake up in the morning and you coming home to me after working your day as a teacher!' He'd have me committed to a fucking psych ward. I'd probably deserve it at this rate 'cause what is this."

Seoho opened his mouth to say something, but someone hesitantly knocked at his door before he could. Dongju immediately freezes and looked about halfway to passing out then and there. Seoho stands but waits a minute to ensure she won't be doing that before swinging the door open.

She couldn't see Seoho's expression from there, and there was no time to say anything before he went past the person in the doorway. And who else walks in but Geonhak himself. She couldn’t do this right now, absolutely not. Apparently, she was rooted to her spot by some freeze instinct and possibly some masochistic will to see what he'd say. Assuming he heard what she had said before and didn't just happen to come in.

"So. You wanna live in a cute apartment with me and see my horrible morning bedhead?" Geonhak asked sheepishly, playing with his fingers and not looking at her.

Internally, she wondered how he was acting like the nervous one right now.

"I mean. Right now I'd much prefer going to drown in the nearest body of water, actually." Dongju stared at the ceiling, wondering how her life had come to this point.

"Um, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that. Taking a soaking, drowned body on a date seems like a pretty bad time for everybody."

She had to sit and blink for a good 30 seconds or so just trying to process what that man just said. Surely, he didn't say date. Surely, he just said... something that sounds like date and had a similar meaning but wasn't. She had to sit up and look at him when he said nothing else. He was still fidgeting with his fingers and not looking at her.

"Did you just say date? Like a romantic type of date?"

"Yes. And if you're not going to drown yourself, then I'd like to take your very alive self on one instead. If you want to anyways, we obviously don't ha-"

His nervous rambling gave Dongju the strength and rage to push herself off the bed and stalk over to him.

"How did you hear me telling Seoho that I want you to come home to me and still wonder if I want to go on a date with you?"

Geonhak stayed silent and just took one, then two, slow steps toward her, stopping just far enough away that she could feel his presence.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

She nodded before thinking and stared at him, waiting and not daring to move. He raises his hand and lays it lightly on her cheek before leaning in. Dongju's eyes flutter closed and she stayed in the dark for a moment for him. When their lips touched, he put his other hand on her waist, and all she wanted to feel was more. She couldn't tell him that, but she tried to push a little into his hand anyway.

Their first kiss is short, and sweet, and she pulls back less than a centimeter before going back for more. Her arms feel awkward by her side, so she put them on his broad shoulders. Finally, she got to feel the results of all his workouts instead of just staring longingly. And, presumably, she'd be able to do that a lot more now, too. Delightful.

It still wasn’t enough for her, and Dongju looped her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer, pressing their chests together. Geonhak made a surprised little noise, but it only seemed to inspire him to grab her waist firmer with both hands. Exactly the way she wanted. The half-second pull away to breathe quickly stopped being enough, and Dongju leaned back then laid her forehead on his shoulder.

"Fuck." She breathed, and then giggled a little at her own breathlessness.

Geonhak laughed with her, holding her close. It's perfect. Everything is warm and comfortable, just as Geonhak always had been for her.

[thesafecafe]

𝕄𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕪 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟛 

Welcome to Mommy May! Thank you to @whatudowhennooneseesyou for hosting this lovely writing event! 

A quick note: These will all be 18+, MDNI, and some will contain slightly darker topics, but each one will be properly tagged, so keep that in mind when consuming content. Otherwise, welcome and enjoy Mommy May! If you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

Disclaimer: This is fictional depiction for entertainment purposes and is not meant to be a guide or interpretation of the idols written about, and I do not believe any of them would act in this way in real life. Once again, it is fiction, and once again, you are responsible for the content you consume! And lastly, minors DO NOT interact! It makes me uncomfortable and despite what you feel, those are my boundaries, respect them. 

1: My Treasure - Seonghwa

2:  Soft Days - Lee Know

3: Take It - Hyunjin

4: Summer Nights - Felix

5: Smile for the Camera - Hyunjin

6: Love You Like Me - Seonghwa

7: Stay the Night - Lee Know

8: Die for You - Seoho

9: Villain - Key

10: Trust in Me - Taemin

11: Home Video - Seonghwa

12: Free Pass -Key

13: Size Queen - Seonghwa

14: Consequences - Felix

15: Work of Art - Ten

16: Honored Guest - Lee Know 

17: Control - Kihyun

18: Useful - Kun

19: Devil I Know - Doyoung

20: Let’s Play - Hwanwoong

21: Cravin’ - Seonghwa

22: Mommy Next Door - Taemin

23: Pretty Doll - Chanhee

24: Room 410 - Ten

25: Thrill Ride - Chanhee

26: Adore - Seonghwa

27: Say Please - Chanhee

28: Forgive Me - Taeyong

29: Unholy - Chanhee

30: Boudoir Tales - Ten

31: Wanna Be Yours - Seonghwa

Bonus: Strawberry Cream - ? (mystery for now)

--------------

Taglist (open): @minhyuuk, @hee0soo​, @brownsugarbaybee, @legbouk, @mommyhwa , @singularity777 ,

[thru-the-grapevine]

Irish Breakfast

Pairing: Kim Geonhak x reader

Summary: The man you have no business pining over makes an unexpected reappearance in your life, albeit in less-than-ideal condition.

Word Count: 4.6k

Tags: mafia au, blood/injuries (<- despite the tags the whole thing is still soft)

Author Notes: another submission for the Oneus Trope Bingo hosted by @oneusficevents ! This is for my “mafia au” square. I’ve never written anything like this before so I’m nervous to post, but I hope it’s enjoyable

Annoying, you think, that an entire beverage is going to remind you of a man you can’t have. Especially a beverage as widely versatile as tea.

You turn off the timer and go back into the kitchen, taking the teabag out of your mug. You’ve been branching out to new teas since the first evening you’d tried it in the safehouse, sampling them little by little. You now own a small village’s worth of tea boxes, after watching in horror as your best friend swiped her arm along the shelf of teas at the store and into your cart, insisting it was her treat. You’ve found you don’t care for straight green tea or matcha (green bean water, more like), but you like jasmine just fine, peppermint too. English Breakfast is okay, just not as malty, and chai is good if you add more cream than usual.

Tonight, though, you’re allowing yourself to Admit and Mope Over having feelings for a made man. Which, naturally, means your tea is his favorite, Irish Breakfast. You set the teabag in your spoon and wrap the string around it, wringing extra tea into the mug. You’ve gotten rather good at it with practice.

You turn to throw out the teabag when you hear a muted thump from somewhere in your apartment.

You stare, unmoving, at the teabag dangling in your hand over the garbage bin. It swings gently back and forth, and you try a deep breath. One, two, three four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

By the end of the deep breath, no more noises have come. You drop the teabag in the bin and turn back to your mug, only partly aware of reaching for the sugar. Pal, chill out. Someone came home across the hall and dropped their groceries. The box of Christmas decorations finally teetered off the shelf in the closet. Kids down below jumped too high on their bed and whacked into the ceiling.

Your phone vibrates sharply against the counter, and you drop your spoon with a clatter. You crane your head aside to glance at the screen.

LEEDO: u can say no but do u mind if I stop by?

You snatch your phone clumsily and fumble to the app with live feeds of your security camera. A raven-haired man in office slacks and dress shirt is leaning heavily against your front door. As you watch, his knees buckle under him, and you hear another thump as he crumples against your doorframe.

“Shit,” you hiss. You drop your phone on the counter and hurry to the front door.

Geonhak catches himself heavily on the doorjamb as you ease the door open, a final defense against collapsing entirely.

“Hi,” he murmurs, sounding for all the world like he’s fine and not a man who can’t stay upright.

You drop to your knees, trying to figure out where it’s safe to touch him. His entire left side, from head to toe, looks to be spattered in blood.

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, guiding his right arm over your shoulders. You brace your hand against his back, heaving upward.

You manage to stay balanced, most of his weight on you, and stumble back inside. You’re careful to keep your hand at the center of his back, away from the side that’s drenched in red.

He sags back against the door as you shut it again, relieving you of crutch duty. Flipping on the front hall light, you try to get a better look at him. His side is littered with bloody hand- and fingerprints—probably from staunching the blood flow, you take a guess. There’s so much blood, it looks like so much. The blood on his face has trickled down from a matted spot in his hair.

“What can I do?” You ask, surprised at how calm you sound. “What do you need?”

A corner of his mouth quirks slightly. “Just towels.”

His voice is cottony, so un-Geonhak-like. A sliver of ice sinks into the pit of your stomach.

“Just….” You take a tentative step back from him to see if he’ll stay upright. He leans more heavily against your front door, and your hands hover there in front of him. “Just….don’t move.”

You fly into the kitchen, feet barely touching the ground, and yank open the drawer of tea towels. You grab the entire stack and flip on the sink, running a few under cool water. Your eyes catch on your mug on the counter, and after a second you grab it and bring it all with you.

Geonhak’s face is tilted towards the ceiling when you return, eyes closed. A thin line of blood is slowly trickling down the side of his neck. In the light of the entryway, positioned as he is, he looks like a hero straight out of a classical painting. Lordy. No man has any business looking this good bleeding out.

You set the mug gently on the hall table next to him and close the distance with the towels.

His head drops back down, eyes opening at your approach, and you offer him a wet towel. He murmurs his thanks, taking it and mopping his neck and face roughly while you unfold a dry one.

You rake your gaze over him carefully, heart pounding. His hair has grown out a bit since you saw him last. You note in the part of your mind that isn’t panicking that it suits him, although everything suits Geonhak. Gingerly, you scrape your fingertips along his hairline, combing his hair off his face and checking for more injuries. His jaw works and his throat bobs once, and you replace his thoroughly bloodied hand towel with another damp one.

“‘Woong’s in Chinatown tonight, won’t be able to get here for a half hour,” Geonhak says as he works, and you realize he’s apologizing. “He’ll take me to the safehouse and out of your h—”

“Like hell he will,” you say, swapping him for another fresh towel. “Finish mopping up and we’ll take my car.”

“Hwanwoong will come get me,” Geonhak mumbles, eyes closing as he prods at the spot on his head.

“And I said like hell,” you reply, your free hand going to the buttons on his shirt. “This needs to…move…so you can get to the spot on—oh, don’t look at me like that, you’re bleeding.”

“Interesting way to ask me to take my shirt off,” he murmurs with a shrug, smile as dangerous to your pulse as ever as his free hand starts unbuttoning.

Once he’s undone the first four, you shove another damp towel inside and grip at the injured place on his side firmly, making him hiss. Serve him right, flirting while bleeding out on my doorstep.

“Hold this there, tightly. Be right back,” you say, taking another bloody towel from him and scooping up the others.

You pause for a second, then gesture at the mug of tea. “For you.”

Within moments, you’ve thrown the bloodied towels in the drum of the washer to deal with later and grabbed several other things on the way back.

Geonhak’s finishing a long sip of Irish Breakfast when you return. Wordlessly, you hand him a few ibuprofen. A smile plays at his lips as he accepts them and downs them with tea.

“Off,” you say as he sets the mug down, waving vaguely at his blood-sodden shirt. “I’ve got something clean.”

“It’ll just get dirty, too,” he says, already undoing the final few buttons and shrugging it away.

Any other time you would admire him shirtless, but your focus now lasers in on the injury. After all the blood he was wearing, it’s surprisingly smaller than you feared. “I don’t care if it gets dirty, too. I have my first aid kit—”

“Just—” he winces when he presses against his side wound too hard, then sighs softly, “just…if you’ll drive me to a safehouse, I’ll get Keonhee to patch me up.”

Ah yes. Keonhee. A trained medical professional. Someone of actual use to him. “Let me get my shoes.”

You watch from the corner of your eye as he takes the oversized hoodie you offer him and finagles it on gingerly. You’ve grown so accustomed to Geonhak in office attire that anything else looks unfamiliar on him. You’re right, though; anything suits him. Your heart doesn’t seem to notice the oddness, twisting at the knowledge that the hoodie is yours.

Your staring doesn’t escape Geonhak’s notice.

“Don’t usually wear this kind of thing,” he says as you exit the apartment together. He leans into you for security as you lock your door.

“And why not?” You ask, heading for the stairs at a stilted pace.

Your face bumps into his neck as he stumbles, and he swears and apologizes under his breath. Despite the clear excitement he’s had tonight, you notice he still smells like the pine and eucalyptus soap you’d seen in the safehouse shower. You immediately try to ignore this.

He shakes his head as you both begin slowly down the stairwell. “Not taken seriously in street clothes. Look too young.”

You can feel him wincing with each descending step, and you slow your pace, keep the hand at his back soothing.

“Well, who wouldn’t take you seriously right now?” You ask as you reach the exit. You pause to heave your free shoulder against the door when it sticks. “Now? When you’re bleeding a concerning amount?”

“I’ve had worse,” Geonhak says mildly, misstepping and staggering against you as you exit into the night. You catch him, free hand landing against the front of his torso, and you mumble an apology as he winces and straightens again.

“Surprised you survived with these reflexes,” you mutter, hobbling with him through the parking lot in the warm summer night air.

You lay a towel along the back of the passenger seat before Geonhak sits; blood sounds horrible to get out of a car. He wordlessly plugs an address into your GPS once you start the car, and then you’re on the road.

The car is quiet as you follow the first few directions, save for the occasional GPS voice. Geonhak extracts his phone from his back pocket, wincing all the while. He taps away at the screen, likely notifying the safehouse and Keonhee, as you follow the directions onto a street that sounds vaguely familiar.

“Should I, um. Worry about being followed?” You ask, glancing at the passing headlights in your rear view mirror.

“Mm-mm,” Geonhak says, shaking his head slightly and pocketing the phone again. “Our guys got him.”

You refuse to consider what “got him” means in this context.

“I’m sure it’s pointless to ask, but what happened?”

Geonhak sighs, leaning back in his seat with a wince. The silence carries for a few minutes, and you begin to assume he won’t answer when he finally speaks.

“He didn’t like what happened at your shop this week.”

You stiffen as you stop for a red light. A blue-eyed smirk you’ve come to hate flickers to mind. The man who was the reason you’d met Geonhak in the first place; the man who was the reason you’d had to hide for a week in a safehouse meant for organized crime members. “Him?”

Geonhak leans his head back against the headrest, eyes shutting as he adjusts the towel against his head. He gives no indication to confirm or deny.

That isn’t allowed to be the end of it. “But nothing really even happened. He just…came in, to intimidate me again. And then he got spooked by your uncle and left.”

A corner of Geonhak’s mouth curls. “Technically, he was humiliated by a crime boss over muffins. To a lot of these guys, that’s something.”

Over muffins. The space in your chest for breathing begins to shrink. It was your fault. That man, the one who’d tried to convince you to let his boss run dirty money through your store, who kept showing up at your new storefront to intimidate you, had hurt Geonhak. He’d been so mortified by Geonhak’s uncle, who was there to defend you, that he’d taken it out on the man’s nephew for good measure. Not on you, who actually owned the store; him. Geonhak was hurt because of you.

“Breathe,” Geonhak says, voice firm.

You gasp in a breath and blow it out shakily, easing on the gas as the light turns green.

“Slower than that. There’s enough air,” Geonhak soothes.

You shake your head, each breath coming heavier and quicker. I did this to him.

He starts counting, and you take a deep breath and hold it like he taught you, blowing it out unsteadily. It does little to settle your jittery pulse, your whirling thoughts.

“Promise it’ll be over soon,” he says, glancing at the GPS. “In six minutes. Just drop me off at the front door and—”

“I—you’re kidding, I’m not just, just—leaving you somewhere,” you protest, grip tightening on the wheel. “You’re covered in…Geonhak, I did this to y—”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare.”

His voice is so suddenly sharp that your mouth snaps shut without another thought. His mouth is set in an even line, blue flame behind his eyes as he stares out at the road.

“You are good, and you are innocent, and you did not do this to me,” he says, voice dangerously even. “I won’t have you taking blame for that shithead. I won’t.”

You swallow, trying another slow breath in, out. You nod.

“Sorry,” you whisper.

He blinks, still watching the road, but the hardness in his eyes dissipates.

“Me too,” he admits. “Shouldn’t have dragged you into this.”

“No, it…I mean, I don’t mi…it’s—” You stammer, trying to figure out how to say you missed him without saying it outright.

Eventually you snap your mouth shut, face burning. You see him glance at you out of the corner of your eye, then lean further back into his seat.

“You, um.” A smile is playing on his lips. “The tea, earlier....I didn’t think you drank tea.”

Your face feels even hotter. You swallow. “…I do now.”

He doesn’t say anything the rest of the drive, but that smile stays in the corners of his mouth.

The address, an old brick bungalow, is different from the last safehouse—probably closer to where you live, you assume. The porch light is on, and you see movement in a window as you park along the curb.

“Stop, just—would you hang on a minute?” You huff as Geonhak opens his door, unbuckling.

You hurry out of your seat and around the front of your car as Geonhak tries to ease out by himself. He grunts in pain and stumbles over into you, and you sway as you attempt to keep balance for two people.

“I got it,” he says, trying to straighten, face twisting in pain.

“You really don’t,” you say firmly, locking your car and helping him up the walkway. “Cut the heroics.”

It’s Keonhee who opens the door as you reach the five little stairs up to the porch. You’re surprised to see him in pajamas and glasses.

“Up you get, come on,” he says, coming to Geonhak’s injured side and gingerly lifting his other arm over his shoulders. Keonhee glances over Geonhak’s shoulder and smiles at you, somewhat of a grimace. “I’d say it’s nice to see you again, but…”

Your smile is also half grimace, remembering the first time you met him, when he treated your black eye. “Agreed.”

Keonhee’s taller than you, so when he straightens, Geonhak’s arm stretches up higher, and he hisses.

“Son of a bitch, Keonhee, ow,” Geonhak grits through his teeth.

“Yeah, yeah, get inside, you big baby,” Keonhee mutters. “I know for a fact you’ve had worse knife wounds before.”

Ice drops into your stomach; a knife. That man had gotten close enough to hurt Geonhak with a knife.

With Keonhee in the lead, the three of you shuffle sideways up the porch stairs and through the front door. To the left of the entryway is a little kitchen. To the right you see a small sitting room, with a couch covered in a few sheets. The coffee table has a spread of little tools that remind you of emergency room procedurals on TV.

“In there, if you don’t mind,” Keonhee says. “I made coffee before I remembered you drink tea, Geonhak, so there’s coffee if you want it.”

“Water for them,” Geonhak manages, panting as you help ease him to lie down across the couch.

You stick your tongue out at him but don’t argue. Your mind and body are starting to catch up with the shock of an injured Geonhak, and you don’t want to make yourself even more jittery.

Keonhee disappears briefly into the kitchen, emerging with a glass and a mug. You take the water gratefully, hiding yourself in the glass as you swallow back half of it.

When you lower it again, Keonhee is seated beside the couch and inspecting Geonhak’s head wound. He swabs at it with alcohol wipes and clucks his tongue.

“Stupid, but not awful,” Keonhee says, fighting a smile as Geonhak swears violently under his breath at a firmer prod. “Probably won’t even need stitches. Just bled a lot.”

“You’ll bleed a lot if you don’t cut that out,” Geonhak grumbles. Keonhee snorts and scoots back, lifting the hoodie to get a better look at his side.

“Need a few stitches here, though,” Keonhee says, pausing when Geonhak jolts from the rubbing alcohol sting. “Ribs hurt at all?”

“Not as much as yours will if y—shit,” Geonhak hisses at another pass of the alcohol wipe.

“Look at you, king of the streets, brought to your knees by antiseptic,” Keonhee says, grinning.

Geonhak glares at him, breathing heavily. “I say king of the streets one time, back in high school, and you won’t let it die.”

“Nope.” Keonhee pops the “p” and reaches for a few things on the coffee table.

You take a deep breath, setting down your glass with shaky hands. “Uhm, if I needed the bathroom, where…?”

Keonhee’s eyes are understanding. “Down that way, on the right. I’ll be quick. He’s seen worse.”

You hear Geonhak’s “fucking hell” from the living room before you close the bathroom door behind you.

You lean heavily on your hands against the sink and rest your forehead against the mirror, allowing yourself a moment in the whirlwind of thoughts. Knife wound. They got him. He’s been hurt worse before.

He came to me. When he got hurt, he came to find me. I got to see him again.

That’s what feels the most shocking, that he’s here, you’re here, back in his world, when you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. You know he’d told you it was for your own good that he keep a distance, and you didn’t think his reasons were bad. It still hurt, though, to make such a connection with him and then watch him disappear from your life like he’d never been there.

Well, now you’ve seen him again—covered in blood, admittedly, but nonetheless. He hadn’t been a figment of your imagination, after all. He’ll be on the mend soon, and then…

You gulp. That’s what’s scariest. How fleeting being here, being back in his circle, feels. You wish for selfish things for a brief moment—for a few more nights of Irish Breakfast, a few more conversations, even one more exchange of banter, for wounds that need time to heal, time you can spend with him. The thought that he’ll slip away again forever after this is…

A soft knock on the door startles you a little too much. “Hm?”

“He’s all patched up now, all fine,” Keonhee says. “Just needs a couple days of low activity and he’ll be back to normal.”

You sniff, leaning back off of your hands. “Good. I…good.”

There’s a pause. “I’d like to take a look at you when you come out. Customary check.”

“Oh, uh, sure, yeah, coming out.”

You reach up to itch a spot on your cheek and blink when your hand comes back wet. You wipe under both eyes, hands coming away damp. When you glance at your reflection, you grimace at how blotchy you look. There’s no way to hide it, so you sigh and brace for the inevitable, opening the door.

Keonhee studies you for a moment, then says, “let’s see if I’ve got tea somewhere after all, hm?”

It feels a bit wrong to dig through his cupboards and pantry like this, but Keonhee encourages it, clapping your shoulder when you find an old box of orange pekoe.

“You’ll be staying tonight, of course,” he says after he cleans out the coffee pot and begins brewing plain hot water. “At least until the shock wears off.”

You purse your lips as you retrieve two mugs. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome…”

Keonhee scoffs, putting a tea bag in each one. “Please. You’re more tolerable than he is, swearing at me over a little scratch.”

“Is it really that minor?” You ask, watching yourself run a thumb over the lip of a mug.

“He’s just fine,” Keonhee says, firm and reassuring. “He’ll be back to intimidating us all at full capacity far too quickly.”

The nobler side of you relaxes at this. Your less noble side wishes for a few more days of bed rest. You try to ignore the less noble side.

“Perhaps I should worry more about you,” Keonhee says, studying you. “You’ve been well?”

You laugh once. “Oh, yes. I’m just fine. I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of a single made man until this week, much less tangled with any of them.”

You wince inwardly at how bitter you sound. Ridiculous.

Keonhee hums, taking the now-filled pot of hot water and pouring it into the mugs. “I see an awful lot of made men, but that doesn’t necessarily add or detract from any tangles. Surprising, how much you can see of them without being involved.”

You don’t know what to say to that. You realize with a pang that you’re almost jealous of him, of his ability to be involved but not involved.

He frowns at one of the mugs as it steeps. “I should go check how he takes it, I can never remember—”

“That’s alright, I’ve got it,” you say, waving that away and preparing both mugs.

Keonhee’s quiet as you labor over the tea. When he speaks, you can hear a slight smile.

“Good. I’ll go make up the air mattress, then, if you’ve got this under control.”

You make your way back into the sitting room slowly, trying not to spill either mug. Geonhak has every pillow propped up behind his back, an arm slung over his eyes. You frown when you see one of his ankles in a brace.

“You didn’t tell me your ankle was hurt.”

A corner of Geonhak’s mouth twitches. “Only twisted a little. It’s why I couldn’t keep better balance.”

He lowers his arm from his eyes and looks up at you. You lift his mug, nodding at it, and he inches his way further upright, grimacing.

“Let’s see how badly Keonhee did on this cup,” Geonhak says as he takes the mug.

“He didn’t make it. I did,” you say, sitting gingerly by his knees and blowing on your mug. “Two sugars, no cream. Strong. Brought the spoon when you want the bag out.”

You set your mug on the coffee table, now cleared of surgical instruments, and lift your teabag into said spoon, twisting the string round and draining the excess. You feel Geonhak’s silent, studying gaze and try not to let it fluster you as you find a wastebasket at the end of the couch to toss the teabag.

You take a sip of the tea, then blink. “You know, I always thought orange pekoe would be…well, orange flavored. But this is just another black tea.” Hmm. Suppose it can’t hurt to have around for guests, so the nicer teas can be for you.

“Damn it,” Geonhak sighs softly.

You glance over at him as you blow on your tea, raising an eyebrow. He’s cradling his tea placidly against his stomach, eyes shut.

“You make it so difficult.”

You blink. “So difficult to what?”

He opens his eyes and meets your gaze. “To stay away from you.”

Your lungs feel suddenly empty. Oh. Some warm and electric feeling zings up your spine.

You look down into your mug, pulse skipping. “…I see. My hopelessness when it comes to tea, back at it again.”

When he speaks, you can hear his smile. “Might play a part, maybe.”

You take another swig of tea, bracing yourself. “I wish…I wish you wouldn’t stay away, but I, you know, I get it. Promise.”

You shrug a shoulder, grimacing.

He purses his lips, then sets the mug down. “Mind getting the bag for me?”

You set your tea down and grab the spoon, finagling with the tea bag in his cup.

His fingers brush against your knee, backs of his knuckles rubbing gently back and forth. You swallow, throat surprisingly dry for how much tea you’ve drank, tossing his teabag and setting the spoon aside again.

“Don’t like when you’re in danger,” he murmurs.

You nod, picking your mug up again with shakier hands than you’d like.

“Don’t want to be the reason you’re in danger,” he says quietly.

You nod again, tilting your head thoughtfully and taking a sip of tea. “Keonhee’s got a lot of your guys in his life and he’s not in danger.”

“He’s under my uncle’s protection,” Geonhak says, not unkindly.

You shrug a shoulder. “Well…think I might be now, too. He intimidated that man into leaving and then left a hundred dollar tip for his muffins.”

Geonhak laughs once, and his hand opens on your knee, resting warm and firm.

“Touché.”

You take another sip of tea, gathering courage, then drop your hand to your knee and curl your fingers around his hand.

His gaze makes you feel shy, but you don’t look away, drinking in the way it feels to be looked at like this.

He shakes his head at himself, smiling wryly. “Knew exactly what I was doing tonight. Might’ve been easier to go to a few different places, but I went out of my way.”

His fingers squeeze yours.

“I just missed you,” he whispers.

It’s a good thing you hear Keonhee clattering back down the hall. You’re not sure you have the power of speech anymore.

Keonhee forces Geonhak to give up two pillows (“you have all the other pillows in my house, fiend, surrender one to me and to the guest”) and pushes aside the coffee table to make up your bed. It’s a good thing you were already in pajamas, you think as you sit at the edge of the air mattress. No need to sleep in clothes, unlike Geonhak, despite your hoodie.

When the lights go out and Keonhee goes back to bed, you spend a while staring up at the ceiling. You realize, too late, that there was caffeine in both of those teas. Late night caffeine intake versus shock exhaustion, fight.

“There’s, um.”

You glance over at Geonhak on the couch. He’s looking up at the ceiling, too. “There’s this place on the other side of town, a bar? But it’s got cats, like a cat cafe. Hwanwoong tells me you’d really like it.”

You purse your lips, fighting the massive grin threatening to take over your whole face. “I’ve heard of it. It’s got some cat pun name, yeah?”

“Yeah, I can’t think of it, either,” he says, laughing softly.

His hand reaches out and finds yours in the darkness. “Wanna try it with me, maybe? Like, in a week or two, obviously, or Keonhee will put my head on a stake.”

You laugh quietly, squeezing his hand. “I’d like that.”

His thumb brushes over the back of your hand, gentle. “Okay.”

When you finally fall asleep, your hand is still in his.

[emeraldbabygirl]

new fic idea that if anyone wants to steal cause I like it, it's neat :) sex tape or live stream with an idol but they don't want to reveal who they are so they take you to some random hotel somewhere and they wear a mask that covers their whole face and anything else that could identify them but you're completely bare cause they want it like that and they never talk and you do all the talking and moaning and it just fuels them or maybe they make you wear one of those pretty masks over your eyes uwu. Maybe if they do talk it's always at a whisper and right in your ear oh boy I love this idea, it would be fun to write. I suppose it could be for anyone tho doesn't have to be an idol I was just thinking of an idol when I thought about this teehee

Also if anyone does steal this and write a lil thing please tag me I wanna read it please!