#ones referenced a lot
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I’ve started listening to SCP Archives on Spotify. Do you listen to that podcast?
Yeah! Not religiously, I tend to pick episodes that are either doing SCPs I like particularly or ones like SCP-6901 - Long Parabola of Gravity that I haven't seen before. (SCP-6901 isn't even on the wiki at all, apparently, a fact I learned just now when I was trying to link it!)
They have a little bit more of a taste for the big, lore-heavy ones than I do, which is just personal preference, but they do a pretty wide variety overall, which I appreciate.
And I definitely like the audio treatments they give! The choice they made for SCP-1171's voice was hilarious. I haven't listened to their take on SCP-3999 yet, but just trying to do that in audio is so ambitious I'm impressed at the attempt alone. Plus it has Graham Rowat as a talking panda, what's not to like?
#podcasts#scp foundation#they've done a lot of my favorites#as well as a lot of what you'd probably consider *essential* SCPs#i.e.#ones referenced a lot
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im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels
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#not a new thought at all of course but i havent seen a post thorough enough for Me. the guy who thinks about it a lot#and this isnt all my thoughts either but it at least Touches on each element that i think about...#honestly where i could talk for ages is where the similar things were Different for them. but harder to organize#if you actually went and looked at all these panels with me. thank you for coming to this Presentation and Journey#i hope my Beam is having an Effect.#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon#thistle dungeon meshi#marcille donato#long post#can i be forrealsies i made this post ages ago and was just referencing it while drafting one About the contrasts and accidentally hit post#so ig might as well keep it up instead of hoarding it in my drafts. and maybe ill post That essay here someday#tistle tag#my posts
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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isat npc designs!!!!! wahoo!!!!!
greyscale versions below :3
i don’t really have much to say about the colors here?? all of these fellas are vaugardian (i think) so i just kept their palettes Warm. i did give claude stains on her coat because i think she drops Chemicals on it all the time and doesn’t wash it throughly enough to get the stains out. other than that all of these are pretty straightforward!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#<- technically? shy stranger and claude are minor spoilers i guess#i was going to do more of these but. isatscryption. the brainworms took hold#anyways! i know theres that little. triangle thing? on the daydreaming one’s dress but i couldn’t figure out what it was#and i didn’t really have a lof of good images to reference from so i just left it out. sorry girlie#i wanted the locked one’s colors to be more muted? and less Warm to show their disconnect with the rest of dormont#also going to be honest. claude’s design was just referenced off my friend pastell’s design for her#i couldn’t find any references of her before act 6! and i like its design a lot
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misc tos redraws and silly things
#star trek#star trek tos#doodles#sorry a lot of these are movie referencing ones I realize lol#the what son hark a vagrant redraw is one of my favs#bc damn do I forget about Jim’s son too#these are from like…. 3/4 years ago#huh.#crumbles to dust
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Blue Stray on the brain…
First of prolly like. A billion pieces of fanart I want to draw for @tumble-witch ‘s Bread Girl AU!!!! I wanted to post a bunch at one time but I am so impatient lmao ITS BLUE STRAY HOURSSSS‼️‼️
Gotta draw Golden Beetle next I am 3-1 on Marinette vs Adrien drawings my boy needs some love 🙏🙏 (Im just a sucker for angst)
Went. Insane in the tags bc that’s the best way to yap 💖🌸
#the colours beat me up so bad#I referenced the ones from the Valentine’s Day comic bc they’re so pretty 😭🌸💖#one thing I rlly love about the hero designs in this au is simply that the hair is different#it’s such a small thing but it makes such a big impact#like the length of their hair is completely different to their civilian forms#it’s like they swapped lengths lmao which I’m assuming was on purpose#it makes it sm easier to suspend disbelief that nobody can tell their identies#past just miraculous magic and all#spinning this au in my brain so much#y’all don’t know how much swap aus excite me like#it changes the foundation of the media in such an interesting way without changing the core concepts#ITS SO NEATTTTT#I’ve been brainrotting over bread girl au sm lol#just as much as my s and sh swap au#I’ve just been working on this whilst watching canon miraculous and going ooooo I wonder how that would go in bgau#help me/silly#rainy art#I keep forgetting that tag 💔💔💔#I don’t even know if that IS the tag 😭😭😭#I hope this looks alright I’ve been staring at it for. too long.#I started colouring it last night but it wasn’t looking good so I waited till today to finish it#helped a lot‼️‼️‼️‼️#I GOTTA DRAW BLUE STRAY MORE SHES SO CUTEEEE 💖💖🌸🌸🌸#silliest girl ever (she will face the horrors)#okay I will cease my yapping now otherwise I WILL go on forever and ever
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more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3
Not a mercenary but... Okay!
Let's dissect Pauling
Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?
Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.
I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.
For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...
Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.
Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?
Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.
We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:
I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.
(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).
So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".
Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.
This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.
And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.
The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."
Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.
Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.
"... Because I trusted you!"
"Then why are you questioning me now?"
It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.
It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.
Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.
Unless you yourself decide to take that role.
...
Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.
I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...
If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?
References:
– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:
youtube
– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"
#tf2#miss pauling#ms pauling#team fortress 2#artists on tumblr#character analysis#tf2 character analysis#psychoanalysis#team fortress fanart#team fortress#insecure about this one honestly#please watch the referenced video it explains a lot#it was very difficult to write for some reason. maybe because there isn't many familiar/relatable points for me#or maybe because I'm neither a woman nor sapphic#if female mother issues are actually different from any other in this gendered world#i don't wanna gender her though#we all would probably be fucked up if our mother wasn't nurturing regardless of our gender right?#my art#miss pauling is so much more than I was able to fit into this post#loveable idiot
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(im only on chapter 5, don't tell me if it follows through or not)
#book one was so LIGHT and HAPPY and EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER#and i found it a bit saccharine and wished it had touched more on the actual reality for the characters but i LOVED it#and now im listening to arthur justify his existence and be interrogated and politicised and its genuinely making me uncomfortable#in a good way! its great writing. but also the trans issues etc that its referencing are a little close to home and all#definitely not devouring this one in a couple days. i need to take breaks because its making me feel things#nyxtalks#the house in the cerulean sea#somewhere beyond the sea#cerulean chronicles#tj klune#its so good. its so so good. just listening to arthur be grilled in that hearing is hard#you already know theres going to be no change. there never is. but now its about arthur personally#its good. its good. its just a lot#i guess this is the switch from linus to arthur. its different when it affects you
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so draw your blade, you wretched fiend and let's you and i fight like the dishonourable dogs we are savage, violent, yet free and when the curtain calls, let me put you out of my misery
#mak art#mak draws aa#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#tgaa#dga#tgaa spoilers#dgs spoilers#kazuma asogi#kazuma asougi#barok van zieks#klint van zieks#genshin asogi#genshin asougi#artists on tumblr#OW MY FUCIKIGN HAND#i took like a whole month on this. working on and off#never hyperfixate on a series set in the 20th century that makes u wanna draw in a style ur not good at#worst mistake of my life#i referenced a lot of chiaroscuro stuff for this#'the fallen angel' painting was used as ref for barok too#wanted to fit in a stronghart motif but#couldn't make it work w/o cluttering the whole thing tbh. so#(looking at bvz and kaz) ohhh they hate each other so much......... but they're mislead........ ohhhhhhh#also i hope to Never fucking draw or paint dogs again. Horrible#theres more stuff on the way. probably#one's a video but. i gotta rest first. im gonna Die#anyways. enjoy gang
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#Transformers One#TF One#TF#D-16#Megatron#Orion Pax#Optimus Prime#TF One D-16#TF One Megatron#TF One Orion Pax#TF One Optimus Prime#TF One Spoilers#Transformers One Spoilers#Transformers#I loved this entire race scene#A lot of referenced characters and the bond between Dee and Orion is so soft#Best friends....
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The future submas bosses gonna do the famous Stamp Ralleye themselves for fun!
#pokemon#pokemon fanart#submas#subway bosses#emmet#ingo#nobori#kudari#joltik#litwick#stamp ralleye#referencing one of the submas episodes mwehehe#had a lot of fun doing the stamps actually#this piece is so old but man i still love how clean it looks#the reddish grey too waaaaah
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Albatross Cookie by design alone looks like the type of person to have ridiculously high standards and will not accept anything less than absolutely perfect.
He says he likes to run a tight ship. You do well, you get to enjoy the luxury of a 5 star cruise for a good week. Fail? Well... They don't talk about what happens when you perform poorly.
#asks#yes I referenced the cuphead show#I rlly like the devil in that#he's a fruity lil bastard~#took a lot of insp from him for alba's character#that and lord Shen from kung fu panda-#one day I'll design his lackeys#specifically his top two sailors#they're seagulls#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#crk#Albatross cookie#fan cookie#cookie oc#crk oc
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I will never get over the fact that, in Warframe, a component of your space ship that is, for unspecified reasons, very important, is called an Orgone Accumulator. it's referenced in multiple lines from Cephalon Cy, as early as the quest where you put the railjack together.
the thing is. that's. that's already a thing. and WHY is it in your ship. what's going on.
for those unaware, orgone is a sort of ambient ether-like substance proposed by Austrian doctor and psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich as a sort of universally present life-energy that was responsible for, among other things, people being horny. an intangible yet theoretically measurable stuff drifting through the air that fueled vitality and libido. and an orgone accumulator is essentially just a fancy wardrobe that you sit in that's supposed to focus this energetic substance into your body to help prevent or cure diseases such as cancer. maybe Wilhelm Reich just got turned on by being shut in a wardrobe. no judgement here.
anyway, it's possible that Digital Extremes was just pulling random terms from esoteric pseudoscience lists, because a lot of stuff in Warframe references or draws from things like alchemy, but like. this is the game that made The Gemussy. surely they must know about the literal Horny Radiation. why is that part of the finger-powered rail jack - you know what, now that I'm saying these words in this context, it's starting to make more sense.
#Warframe#historical pseudoscience is fascinating and the amount referenced in warframe actually makes a lot of sense with the setting for Long Reaso#I shan't ramble about that here but. that one stood out to me
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#my art#been sketching a lot lately lol#struggling a bit with finishing pieces but it's fine. need to focus on just drawing more again in general#marionetta#julia lazarrett#kamille bernaud#I referenced one of Albanenechi's references for this! I tagged them in the replies ♥
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bad dreams in the night
#limbus company#canto 6#lcb catherine#lcb heathcliff#lcb heathcathy#heathcathy#I'll be 100 with you guys I'm still kombuchagirl.gif about a LOT of the uh. narrative choices PM took.#especially cathy. oh we were robbed. it's not like PM isn't capable of writing perfectly horrible women. it's an art they're good at#which is why lcb cathy was so... surprising to me#UUUUH LITERATURE DWEEB WHINING ASIDE EVERY CATHY/ERLKÖNIG HEATHCLIFF ABSOLUTELY HAVE MY SOUL#be doomed and forlorn together.......#also tee hee i swapped out cathy's dress for the dress kate bush wears in the wuthering heights mv#iconic kate bush remains iconic#OH AND AND AND this goes without saying but this is referencing la belle dame sans merci by sir franck dicksee#and since this art piece isn't exactly an uncommon redraw i have used multiple fanart redraws as reference#but the one that helped me the most was a redraw by kalisami whose work is absolutely stellar#horses are..... hard to draw. even without their heads.
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more gidtober outtakes... i think this is all i have left so gideon fans this is all u have to eat for a while
#my art#art#gideon graves#scott pilgrim#the bag one was supposed to be referencing that photo of jason schwartzman w the brown sweater and tote bag#and pink shirt#its iconic to me#also the 3rd one was supposed to be a timeskip design#yayyyyyy#ok bye again. i try to update this blog every few days to keep it active but i have a hard time getting myself 2 draw sometimes#though i do have a lot of designs for furry art so ?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! idk maybe get ready for that#ms paint#sketch
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