#one thing about my granny is that

[anneowl2803]

Did I just have two fish’s heads for dinner? Yes, I did and it was soooo damn good with the tomato sauce and the boiled veggies with vinegar.

The eyes weren’t to my taste, but that’s what you get with mackerels. However, the general area of the cranium was so fatty and juicy, I almost cried.

[roachemoji]

🤡 ⭐️ funny little cardigan 🌙 ❤️

maybe I'll actually dress up and style an outfit or something

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[whumpfish]

So, I have been in a very long, very hot shower because I hurt like a bitch, and I think I have narrowed down the basis of my major whump pet peeve, and I'm going to be using my pet fav series Word of Honor to do it.

You cannot survive sustained/chronic/severe pain if you don't develop a relationship with it. The first couple episodes of Word of Honor aren't about Zhou Zishu x Wen Kexing, they're about Zhou Zishu x Zhou Zishu's pain/condition. And that latter relationship continues to evolve and stay at the forefront on a parallel path to the development of the former.

He saddles himself with this thing as penance, because when he makes that decision, he believes that being crippled is "a fate worse than death." And then he goes on living, and discovers that life goes on, so he makes an increasingly-less-guarded peace with it. So when he meets Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang, he's doing his own thing, enjoying the good parts of what remains of his life even though his condition remains at the forefront, and will for the rest of the series. He's integrated it into his life to such an extent that Gu Xiang readily dubs him "Sick Man."*

That's what gets my goat every time: whumpees that aren't allowed to develop a relationship with their pain and are instead thrust into relationships with "caretakers" who don't do much more than provide warm blankets and snuggles and therapy-approved conversation on demand, and be "heartbroken" over how broken and pathetic the whumpee is in their eyes. Because the reality is that the relationship with pain has to be established before any other relationships can go anywhere.

Pain/illness kills relationships. People leave. They just do. It becomes too much of a bother to make changes to their own lives, and they jet.** And it's just you and your pain/condition until you can find the few truly good people who will give you love and reasonable help. You have to develop a relationship with it. It's your new roommate for the rest of your life.

You and your pain are going to be in the wars. You're going to get mad and scream and throw things at it. You're going to resent it for being the only one who's there with you every day. You're going to think about all the shit you can't do anymore, and you'll be frustrated to tears.

But eventually - if you're allowed - you make peace. You stop hating your roommate for holding you back from parties, you just find someone who can drive you home, or stay in with you. You'll find other people who have the same kind of roommate, and then you'll all get along.

And if you are very, very, galactically, fictionally lucky, you find a partner who will help you stand your ground against life and what your roommate pain has made of it. This is what happens in Word of Honor.

Wen Kexing is by no stretch Zhou Zishu's perma-caretaker, or "Caretaker" in the sense that plagues new wave whump. But he cares, and offers what help he can, when he can, without hovering and without kid gloves. He looks for a cure earnestly but without coddling or pitying Zhou Zishu for being a Sick Man. It's a more honest and realistic portrayal of someone ill/disabled and someone not who loves them than I've seen anywhere else.

My relationship with my pain is ongoing and continues to evolve. It takes things from me, but it gives me things, too. My love of whump, the Pain Genre, is one of those things. Whenever my pain spikes like this, my tolerance for fluff in the whump zone plummets, so just know that whenever you get ornery meta from me, my pain and I are sitting around having wine (gingerbeer, can't have wine with the new meds, thanks a lot pain) and bitching.

The reason there's no good chronic pain rep outside of WOH is that characters are not being allowed to develop relationships with their pain, and are only allowed to have relationships with other things and people, and those relationships are inevitably trainwrecks, or insultingly unrealistic and saccharine, because an entire segment of the character's life and personality and identity is being masked or exploited instead of embraced. So let your whumpee have a relationship with their pain/conditions/traumas. Chronic pain/illness havers the world over will thank you.

[vero-niche]

new Mainstream Big Hit shounen anime so bad it makes me wish gege didnt end jjk so it could continue its popularity reign forever

[gabrielokun]

[susiephone]

childhood was just a long series of adults being like "don't judge a book by its cover!" and "treat others the way you want to be treated!" and then turning around and making the wildest snap judgments about people based on TINY amounts of information and expecting you to agree

[everythingroyalty]

well thats fucking awful 😭

[agentartemus]

I thought today was a good one..

[duine-aiteach]

Been thinking lately about the term Anglo-Irish. Specifically in the context of notable historical figures such as Oscar Wilde, J. M. Synge, W. B. Yeats, Bram Stoker, Jonathan Swift, Maria Edgeworth, and so many others. We’re so quick to claim that they’re not British that they’re Irish, but it’s not as straight forward as that is it? The same issue arises with notable Northern Irish people. Sometimes it’s clear if they identify as British or Irish, but not always.

Obviously we want to claim the brillance of Anglo-Irish people in history because they came from our home and that is important. But on the other hand, the Anglo-Irish were the ones making waves because of that privilege. That is important too. The Anglo-Irish - as a whole - were generally better off and a higher class than the general Irish population. That can’t be ignored. They become well known and influential outside of Ireland because they have the money and the connections to do that. Many other Irish people were probably as talented but just didn’t get the chance.

A lot of the notable Anglo-Irish people did go over to England and prosper there, which is probably part of the reason that people call them British. But even if their families were well off english landlord types, a lot of them were raised in ireland and that matters.

Wikipedia says

The Anglo-Irish novelist and short story writer Elizabeth Bowen memorably described her experience as feeling "English in Ireland, Irish in England" and not accepted fully as belonging to either.

Many Irish people today have family in the UK. Many of my peers have one British parent or grandparent, myself included. While the countries are separate places and should be treated as such, the people are still messy. I was born in England to an English mother and an English-born Irish father then raised in Ireland. Up until I was 15 or 16 I was a British citizen, then I was imported and now all my documentation says I’m Irish. I don’t consider myself English or British at all. And today, that distinction doesn’t really make much difference. I’m not any better or worse than my neighbours whose family have lived and died in the same area for generations. But historically, for these notable Anglo-Irish people, that distinction did make a difference.

[greyias]

Oh c'mon devs, don't torture everyone by accidentally releasing unfinished assets into the live game.

[milflewis]

.

[monster-noises]

OOF it's been a while since I've had a nightmare visceral enough to wake me up from a dead sleep into straight terror... But I guess I shouldn't have underestimated how much my brain would pick up from a podcast Teirlisting Horror Games. .....

(I go on to describe the dream in the tags so watch out if you don't want to hear descriptions of the horrors my brain can cook up.. cw Body Horror mostly)

[pristine-starlight]

My toxic trait is that I really love fiber arts: I love to crochet, I think handspun yarn is the coolest shit, I'm seriously considering trying wet felting someday,

But none of it fits my clothing style outside of maybe the occasional scarf or bag (tho I much prefer backpacks, so even that is shaky), sofrom the outside I still just look like I have no appreciation for handmade clothes and am all about fast fashion

[k4tie75]

My Instagram rn is 97% silly little animal videos 3% the 1975, chappell and charli

[brooklynisher]

I am watching MLP

Can they stop making those ponies cry