#one thing about me is i'm very competitive
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hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3
i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:
northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.
speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.
any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.
kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.
shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.
spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.
jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.
i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.
wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much
i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.
trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.
too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good
another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.
oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'
ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)
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How will your future spouse pursue you ?
Ok you guys the series is finally here
All of my pacs are queer friendly
It can be anyone, your s/o or your longterm connection
Pics and dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners @/saradika
Apologies for any mistakes
Let me know which pile you picked and don't be afraid to express your thoughts (:
Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.
🫀 Pile l.
For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it
>>> | Queen of swords , 4of wands , 5 of cups |
This person is gonna be competitive for your attention , they dont fall in love easily and when they do its ride or die , they are your typical bad boy stereotype that you see in the movies , they are someone who knows they are the best in the room this person's self esteem & self concept is amazing, their confidence speak for itself, they are someone who has seen a lot of things in life and their way of getting to you is very simple and straightforward, maybe in the past people weren't as actively pursuing you as you would love them too but this person is not like this , they are on your face they know they want you and they're gonna be sincere & upfront about it , this person is generally very quiet and people have a lot of ridiculous assumptions about them like they're a player etc etc but best believe me they're really not what others think of him , this person is hot asf , you could be a very stubborn person who takes decision carefully about their life and this will stress them out n,ot in a way to deceit anyone but they know they have to prove everyone wrong so that you see them truly for who they are awww:(
Anyways this person is very masculine in nature , they are gonna act as a mentor and a caregiver, you want this ? I got it , you need this ? Its on me ....and you're like wtf i can do that myself but its just their way to make you feel special , this person does not do that for everyone if they are doing 50% for you then they are gonna do 20% for their friends its like they value your connection a lot and they don't want you to feel like you're just like everyone else in their life , this person is gonna defend you in every situation be it with their family or friends they dont give a shit , this person is also very keen on you they notice everything about you , how you care for people what you like to wear so their another hobby will be gift giving they are very thoughtful and they'd love to make you smile . The four of wands with the five of cups rx is very much i don't want to see them sad , i don't want them to doubt our connection, i want to put efforts for them , i want to do SO much that this person never feel less about themselves, i feel like being with this person , one of the best things about them ...that you're gonna like is they are deadly whatever they do its 100% efforts they dont like to tease their partner even in a slightest way because they know words can stick with a person forever so they're very mindful ,people can envy this the most about you guys its like no one can say anything bad abt my partner if you're gonna be passive then i might play this game as well , they could have a scorpio mercury or virgo so whatever they say is gonna hurt the other person because scorpions and virgos are known for their details , they study people very deeply , whatever they say hold meaning.
This person is definately that cold hearted girl/ guy or you are because i'm picking up on this black cat energy from you and cats do not chose their owners instantly neither do they love everyone. I Also picked up on a very rockstar appearance like long hairs , leather jacket, ripped jeans , its so cool , they remind me of early 2000's era
How will they pursue you : competitively , your friends post you every week ?? ...i'm gonna post you everyday its that kind of person lol , the back of the deck I usually take that as an overall energy is ace of pentacle which is a very stable and set energy in its own so whatever they do , they do it to achieve victory , to be recognised, to show you that they are the shit (;
Channelled song :
Thank you for reading!!
🫀Pile ll .
For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it
| 10 of cups , strength, four of swords |
Ok so this is our cool guy /girl lmao
Even though they will be putting in efforts to pursue you , you shouldn't know that they are doing that , i feel like they will be pursuing you from the get go like this person on a random monday evening will just accept i have feelings for this person and i want them , now this person will try to make it seem like its all a coincidence, this could be a leo mercury or gemini they try to entertain people with their words but their words hold honesty which people cant always catch so they will try to make you feel comfortable like you should feel happy in their presence and it will satisfy them and they will replay this in their mind at night like oh this person laughed at my joke they touched me i made them happy and it brings a smile on their face , they might say or do things which will make you laugh take a scenario like OH ...and you're like what happened and this person is like deja vu darling i think we belong together the universe knows and its so cheesy but its also so cute , they like to break this barrier between you guys , this person will be friendly towards you , they will flirt with you , they're also very spontaneous and a little bit tricky they love to play with you , lets say you guys have a dinner plan and you're excited you're dressed up you have already reached the venue but they will purposefully show up late and when you text them they're like WHAT...? We had plans ? but they are just joking they are alrdy at the venue waiting for you to see them , they might even joke with you like oh i have 5 kids to feed ofcourse i'm late & its a very playfully banter , you play along like YOU match their freak ... its ridiculous you wanna be mad at them but you can't but i understand your feelings pile 2 and i validate 🙂↔️✋🏽
I really think this person is gonna steal your parents love like 😭✋🏽they are the favourite child now , this person has a tendency to play cool like they dont wanna give in first..... they want you to give in first its kind of a cute ego idk , let's take a scenario they say "love you " and you're like where's my " I LOVE YOU " and they're like yes "I LOVE YOU TOO" so petty 😭 they have this natural ability to piss you off , this is the type of person when someone would ask you guys ..."so who confessed first ??...they're gonna jump in like ofcourse it was them , they were crazy about me like you dont know i had to give in but its not true its the opposite. So as you can already guess their ass ? Dramatic ...but you cant say they are dramatic because they are gonna be MORE dramatic about it .
How will they pursue you ? With fear because i feel like they will mask their desire to make you theirs with humour you could start off as friends or colleagues so they cant be very open about their feelings because they feel like you are not focused on love and you might reject them so it's their little cute tactics to get to your heart yeah but they are gonna be very anxious about it they could even suffer from inferiority complex.
Channelled song:
Thank you for reading!!
🫀Pile lll.
For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it
• 3ofcoins, wheel of fortune rx , seven of swords rx •
This person will absolutely be focused on providing comfort to you whether it be emotional or sexual , they love to do things with you they love to hang out with you , they creatively express themselves, they are someone who's gonna listen to your rants they are gonna embrace every flaw & every good thing about you , you are gonna feel exposed in their presence there's something about this person knowing you more than you know them , they really love to spend time with you , i'm seeing this person pushing you towards better goals like your life is gonna improve being with them ,this person will be very happy for your success, they are gonna put you on pedestal they think you are more lovable than them and you deserve more than them and i can confidently say they'll always love you more than you love them its very sweet but also sad , they have insecurities yet they are here trying to soothe your heart, they are gonna apologise first its like they dont wanna lose you they know how to keep a connection you wouldn't need to worry this is a connection where you can let yourself just be you aint gonna walk on eggshells, they are mature , i feel like this person cannot express themselves through words so they prefer to write to you , take you to places with them , praise you infornt of others , make you something, i feel like this persons love is comforting and sweet , you are their equal and they want you to feel like that.
This person will definately engage more in your life , they are gonna be supportive towards you like a best friend, they will overgive to you , they can even say stuff like ...." as long as i'm here i'm gonna be there for you ".....they will hold your hand while you walk they will listen to your problems, they will embrace your silly nature , take you out , spend time with you " i'm getting this line you came and the other one is like you called " it went viral on tiktok i think its from a movie but yeah the energy is very much sweet
Oh you guys this is so sweet , you guys dont speak the same language? They're gonna learn for you we have that kind of person here , you know when they are in love they get hearty eyes it shows on their face and in their behaviour, those sneaky eye contacts , those blush when you are mentioned, the sincerity in their words ,its all there .
How they're gonna pursue you ? Its very passionate and being Passionate does not mean always having hots for each other and that is exactly how they will make you feel , you feel this wholeness i'm having a hard time describing it...its so divine...you know just so grateful and lucky to have a connection like this in this day n age , Yeah 😭this is sooooooo damnnn cuteee i'm scared of this person's energy its very intense , i mean your partner is into worshipping & if you like this then this is definitely your pile (:
Channelled song:
Thanks for reading!!
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Too Lost In You
Paige Bueckers x reader (no use of y/n)
reader is a bartender at ted’s! and had a falling out with paige after fucking on and off for months. now paige is back at ted’s, needing her again.
Warnings: SMUT! also toxic!paige and language etc. you know the drill
A/N: wrote this because i'm stubborn and competitive and that one anon (who since apologised ily lol) thought english wasn't my first language lmao. also, this COULD become a multiple part series if people want but idk, idek if i'll ever write anything else lol. but we'll see! please let me know, would love to hear you guys' thoughts :) ily. ALSO the title comes from the song Too Lost In You by Sugababes (which will be the inspo for the series if this actually becomes one). SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OMG
-
“Yo I’m about to get fucked up tonight” A strong voice comes through from the bar entrance.
I would recognize that voice anywhere. Before I even lift my gaze I’m brought back to the memories of her talking into my ear mid shift, hands on my waist, soft whispers in my ear telling me how good I looked. Or the flashing images of her in my bed on top of me, sweat dripping down her back, talking me through it inbetween groans. The images I replayed over and over in my head, a lot more than I’d like to admit - more than was okay for someone who had called the whole thing off between us anyway.
In a panic I quickly bent down to hide behind the bar, pretending that scrubbing the sticky liquor stains off the floor was of the utmost importance. All just to get away from having to serve her.
“Hey, can you get this one, I’m dying for a break” Natalie, my co-worker, says - clueless to the hiding or the cause of it. For a moment I consider faking a heart attack, throwing a glass at her, or simply screaming “no”. But her round eyes (and the fact I needed to keep this job to pay the bills) softened me. With a deep breath I nod and stand up behind the bar, as Natalie walks off. Leaving me face to face with her.
She’s standing in front of me - Paige. It had been weeks since I had seen her last, doing everything in my power to avoid her. My eyes can’t help it though when they travel from her long fingers to her veiny hands to her broad shoulders that I swear had filled out even more in the weeks I hadn’t seen her. My gaze roams over her neck and my knees almost buckle at the memory of burying my head there, leaving open mouthed kisses on her pale skin. The way it bruised and reddened. The navy blue Uconn trackies made her skin even brighter, and I swear she glowed a little. Finally, my eyes land on her bright blue eyes that are already staring at me, heavy lidded, needy even. The way they always looked when she made her way to my dorm in the middle of the night, needing me.
Her eyes widen. “Oh… didn’t know you were working today” Paige says. It’s a lie. It’s clear in the strain of her voice, the way her fingers twitch. Last time we talked I told her I never wanted to see her again. But right now as she towered over me forcing me to tilt my head up to meet her gaze, I nearly forgot why.
“Whatchu want?” I ask, ignoring her statement already instinctively reaching for the grenadine. I knew her too well to pretend anything else. My stomach twisted uncomfortably thinking about how we had left things between us.
Paige pretends to think. “Uhh… a dirty shirley.” Her words are slightly slurred. She’d already been drinking. I move my eyes away from hers, unable to take the severity of her stare. The tension is broken, however, by a very drunk KK crashing into Paige and leaning over the bar. “also shots” KK adds and nudges Paige who smiles weakly, her eyes never leaving mine. With the way she looked I might’ve thought she had missed me - but I knew better. Paige Bueckers did not yearn for any girl. Certainly not me.
I smile widely at KK. “You wanna be more specific?” I ask, making the shirley with a rehearsed ease. I had made quite a few since Paige had taken a liking to me earlier in the year, coming over to Ted’s almost every night, sitting in the corner with her teammates watching me, tipping me way too much with that smug grin of hers. It would’ve pissed me off if she wasn’t so insanely, out of this world hot.
“Anything strong” KK snorts and I let out a chuckle, reaching for the vodka. “You got it.��
I set the drinks on the counter but Paige is quick to grab hers, her fingertips pressing into mine for just a moment. I nearly whimper at the contact, seeing how Paige’s jaw flexes and cheeks blush. She felt it as much as I did, the tension from the last time we slept together.
“Thanks…” Paige murmurs uncharacteristically quiet. KK rolling her eyes and scoffing, grabs the shots for her and the team. “Bro” KK shakes her head at the interaction, leaving the blonde alone with me to pay. I try to ignore the burn between my legs, watching her long fingers shuffling through cash in her wallet. It would take a gun for me to admit I had been thinking about those fingers during lonely nights and fuck, even nights spent with other people. No matter what no one ever measured up to how those fingers knew exactly what to do, which buttons to push.
“Keep the rest, ma” Paige says, snapping me out of my daydream. My mind is too hazy to take in the nickname. I can’t get a single word out before she’s already turning away, dirty shirley in hand and a stupid grin on her face. She had got to me and she was enjoying every moment.
–
Paige dangled over the bar, her eyes wide and searching, finally setting on me walking out from the back. She’s pushing her blonde hair off her face with a sloppy, uncoordinated movement, clearly feeling the alcohol. I stop her before she can speak though.
“If you want another one you gotta ask Natalie, I’m off my shift,” I tell Paige, refusing to give her my attention the way I knew she wanted.
“I know, you’re off this time every week,” Paige chuckles and leans forward with her elbows on the bar. She was in a Uconn tee now, her biceps flexing. It takes all my willpower not to stare. “We should talk.”
“We really shouldn’t,” I say sternly, taking off the name tag I had been wearing. “Pretty sure I said I never wanted to talk to you again.”
“Sure and you also called me a bitch but never stopped us from fucking before either,” Paige says, a slight annoyance in her voice, preferring to have her way. She’s licking on her grenadine stained lips, chasing my gaze. I finally meet hers, ignoring the aching I felt looking at her eyes on me. I knew how this ended up unless I left. Now.
“I have class tomorrow,” i sigh, walking around the bar towards the exit and throwing on my jacket. Before I know it Paige’s hand grips my arm holding me still. I can smell her around me. Grenadine and alcohol sure, but also the scent of her. The scent I looked for everywhere. Her eyes were pleading, like I was water and she was on fire. I almost forgot why I hated her, just for a second.
“Lemme drive you ma,” Paige pleads.
“You can’t drive, you're drunk” I scoff, brushing her hand off of me. A feeble attempt as Paige’s free arm quickly snakes around my waist and pulls me in, her scent so strong now it’s making me dizzy.
“But I need to talk to you, been driving me crazy,” She murmurs with a slight whine in her voice. For a moment I waver, her hand firmly on the small of my back, all her height towering over me. It made my head spin.
Paige takes it as a sign and leans closer, pulling me in tighter but I place my hand on her chest holding her back, suddenly aware of how empty the bar was and how the most famous person on campus probably shouldn’t be doing this in public. I notice the way her chest is heaving, mine doing the same. The fabric of the shirt underneath my fingertips felt all sorts of wrong, I needed it off of her immediately. No, I had to be stronger than this.
But I wasn’t.
“Do you need a ride back to campus?” I ask her and swallow. The way her tongue slides over her lower lip as she watches me forces a deep blush to set on my face.
“Yeah, bad,” Paige murmurs and I push her hands off me, wordlessly heading to the door with Paige following close behind. She hurries past me to open the car door for me. I would think it was sweet if I didn’t know that it was just one of her plays. One of the ways she made girls like me think she actually cared. She didn’t. She just wanted to fuck.
The air is tense as I start the car, praying Paige doesn’t notice the slight tremble of my hand. I’m not sure if it’s anger or how weak her touch had made me feel. Either way I had to get rid of her fast. Paige slouches on the passenger seat, watching me with hooded eyes, leaning her head back against the seat. Her legs were spread wide apart, sweatpants pulled low enough for her the logo Nike Pros to peek out. For a second all I want to do is pull up somewhere desolate and climb on top of her - from the smirk on Paige’s face I can tell she’s having the exact same thoughts.
The quiet hum of the car motor soothes my nerves until her voice cuts through the air.
“Been missing you y’know-” Paige starts but I interrupt, knowing she had the tendency to talk herself right into my bed.
“Told you I never wanted to talk to you again, remember?” I say with a slight shake in my voice.
“Baby c’mon, you weren’t serious about that,” She groans, her voice filled with amusement.
“What, the screaming didn’t seem serious to you?” I sigh, my eyes strictly on the road. Paige let’s out a chuckle and leans forward on her seat.
“Ion remember non of that, just remember how bad I wanted to fuck that attitude out of you,” she chuckles and the car slides into the passing lane momentarily as i slap her only half seriously across the chest. I pull over on the road, parking the car. The amusement in her tone pissed me off bad. I had enough.
“Get out” I tell Paige sternly, rage and annoyance swirling inside me. She had no right to be making light of the situation. Not after what she did, how bad it had hurt me.
Paige lets out a laugh. “Man you’re crazy” she tells me turning to face me. I face her too, the anger turning my cheeks even brighter.
“I’m fucking serious. Get out,” I repeat my voice rising a little but it doesn’t have the desired effect. Paige just chuckles and shakes her head. I wanted to strangle her, she drove me crazy.
“KK always telling me I pick the crazy ones, I’m thinking she’s right,” Paige groans, not taking any initiative to get out of my car. I unbuckle my seatbelt and groan. I lean over Paige manspreading on the passenger seat, reaching for her door as she grabs my wrist, my face so close to hers I could smell the alcohol on her breath. The air in the car shifts, my annoyance turning into something that made my legs feel weak, as she licks her lips, her eyes on me. “M sorry ok,” Paige says, her voice low and hoarse now. Her eyes plead again.
And I fold, again.
“I don’t wanna hear a word from you, mmkay?” I say clearing my throat and pulling back from her before I made some really, really bad choices.
“Yes ma’am,” Paige grins, satisfied by the effect she had on me.
I start the car and in silence we drive back to Storrs, the streets quiet on the dark tuesday night. Paige fiddles with the zipper of her hoodie, her nimble fingers needing something to do - always looking for something to toy with.
I tried to shake the feeling of each cell in my body screaming for her, needing to feel her skin against mine. I knew we weren’t good for each other. She wasn’t good for me. Part of me wished she came to tell me she’s done fucking around. That I’m all she wants, better than all the countless other girls that spent nights in her bed. That I was different, special. Worth letting everyone else go for. Frankly, even if she told me all those things, each word I wanted to hear, I wouldn’t believe her.
When you were with Paige, it never felt like you were one of many though. She knew how to make you feel like you were the only one. It was in the way her blue eyes roamed my face, in the whine of her voice - like she would die if she didn’t have me. She’d remember your favourite movie and your mother’s name and the way you liked your coffee. All just to go see some other bitch later and repeat the same routine with her. Even with the girls she fucked, she had to be the best. Not because they meant anything, but because that’s who she had to be - the best. A winner.
Paige stretches her arms behind her head, the grey Uconn tee hiking up just enough for the skin on her lower abdomen to peek out as I park the car. Jesus. I quickly look away.
There’s a moment of silence, Paige staring at me intently.
“Look, I-” she starts but I quickly climb out of the car, not wanting to hear it. She’s quick to follow me though, her long limbs catching up to me faster than I liked.
“Ma, c’mon-”
“Don’t call me that,” I say, doing my best to sound stern as I head towards my dorm in a hurry, Paige right next to me. The campus was empty, most students already in their dorms, spending the night in.
“Bro you gotta listen to me-”
“No I don’t, you got your drive home now fuck off!” I yelp, entering the building as Paige holds the door open for me, still persistent on following me. “You said you’d keep your mouth shut so… keep it shut Paige.”
“Well… I lied” She murmurs rubbing the back of her neck, still on my tail all the way to my door. For a moment she watches me struggle with the lock, my hands shaky from the mix of anger and how bad the need between my legs had grown just from being near her. Paige reaches over, unlocking the door for me, her hands brushing against mine. I close my eyes and sigh - I really had to get it together.
“Well yeah you do that huh,” I say bitterly entering my dorm. Paige leans against the doorframe, not letting me lock her out.
Paige chuckles and shakes her head. “Bro you’re being so dramatic, we both knew what this was when we got into it. It’s not like you didn’t fuck around too!” Paige raises her voice, slightly amused, slightly bitter.
The truth was, I hadn’t slept around. Since Paige first fucked me, she took over me, consumed me. I would never admit this to her but I couldn’t even think about anyone else.
“God, you can be such a bitch I swear to-” I groan loudly, rolling my eyes but Paige interrupts me, stepping into my room.
“Me?! You’re the most psycho bitch I ever met-”
“Psycho bitch?!” I’m screaming now, my body hot with rage. “It was you who told me you weren’t fucking anyone else with some other bitch’s bra under your bed! Not me!”
Paige groans and shuts the door behind her, throwing her head back in frustration. “It’s just something people say! You were in those purple panties too ma, I’m not responsible for the shit I say when you wear those,” Paige argues. I chuckle, turning to face her. She was staring at me, heavy lidded and jaw sharper than usual from grinding her teeth together. Paige was getting pissed off, wondering if any pussy was worth this much trouble.
“You’re a fucking sociopath P!” I yell at her as she takes a step towards me, her eyes darkening. The blue in her eyes nearly gone from the way her pupils were blown out.
Paige grins smugly at me, licking her lower lip, looking me up and down. “Yeah? What else?” she says smugly, her big hands coming to hold me by my waist. The moment my eyes meet hers I knew it was over for me. Suddenly my legs felt weak, and my head spun.
“An asshole too,” I answer, my voice breathy and more quiet. My body was immediately responding to her touch, Paige’s fingertips sliding underneath the hem of my shirt sending goosebumps everywhere.
“Yeah?” Paige grins, with a smug tone. I nearly fall over.
“Yeah,” I repeat, my chest heaving.
“That’s too bad ma…” Paige murmurs, her eyes roaming from my eyes to my lips, down my body.
I furrow my brows, fighting to not let out a whimper as her fingertips rubbed up and down against my sides, carefully over each rib. Up and down.
“It’s too bad 'cause I’ve been dying to fuck you,” She says with a low voice, eyes returning to meet mine. “Shit baby, watching you tonight, the way your ass looks in those jeans? Fuckin' killing me,” she adds shaking her head. Paige’s hand drifts down from my waist to my hips, all the way to my ass. Gripping it hard as she groans.
I can’t fight the whimper that spills from my lips, the way my eyes flutter shut just for a moment. Paige grins, watching my reaction. She pulls me closer by my ass, my body pressing against hers as she towers over me. Paige leans down, nuzzling her nose against my ear. And I don’t stop her. I bite my lip, feeling the way my panties were growing damp already. Only Paige could have this kind of effect on me - one touch and a few words and that grin and I was hers. She knew it as well as I did and I hated her for it.
I was too weak to hate her right now though. Too far gone.
“But since you hate me so bad…” Paige whispers into my ear, her lips brushing against it as she leaves a few wet kisses right under it. “I should probably leave.”
In a haze I reach up to wrap my hands around her, my hand pressing against the back of her neck to keep her there. To make sure she didn’t go.
“No…” I nearly whine. Paige chuckles against my neck, kissing it slow and soft. Her hand kneads my ass again, like she had been dying to feel it.
“No? You want me to stay?” She says, teasing.
“Want you to stay,” I murmur, tilting my head to the side, my eyes shut now.
“Want me to get you right ma?” Paige asks hoarsely. My body feels like putty as she holds me against her, like she could do whatever and I could do nothing but watch. I didn’t feel in control. I never did with her.
“Y-yes,” I finally admit with a sigh.
Paige pulls away from my neck, her lips ghosting mine. Her breathing was heavy. She needed this just as bad as I did.
“Attagirl,” she murmurs and finally presses her lips against mine. I moan against her, Paige’s lips slide against mine hungrily - like all these weeks apart she had been underwater and I was air. She could finally breathe.
With a swift movement, Paige pulls my shirt off, leaving me in a bra and jeans as her lips return to mine with a groan. Paige’s tongue slides against my lower lip, begging for access. I open my mouth, my tongue meeting hers, my hands pulling on her t-shirt, feeling the muscles on her abdomen, earning a small whine from her.
“Fuck,” she whimpers and walks me back without breaking the kiss. The backs of my legs hit the edge of my bed, forcing me to fall over. Paige watches me hungrily, her mouth ajar just slightly as her eyes roamed my body. “So fucking sexy,” she groans, pulling her shirt off over her head before climbing on top of me in her sports bra.
Paige starts kissing my neck roughly, sucking and nibbling enough to leave bruises to remind me of her later. Her leg finds its way between my legs, quickly pressing against my core as her free hand roams my side, fingers sliding underneath my bra and kneading my breast.
“Fuck, P…” I whimper arching my back off the bed. The friction provided by her leg was the opposite of relieving, making me more aware of all the layers of fabric between our bodies. “Need these off,” I murmur breathlessly, my hands pulling the blue sweatpants down desperately as Paige’s open mouth moves from my neck to my jaw.
“Whatever you want baby,” she whispers, kicking off her pants. She was now on top of me in a sports bra and Nike pros, a silver chain dangling against my chest. Paige leans back a little, eyes roaming my body, shaking her head like she couldn’t believe I was real. Her blonde hair was down and tousled from the way I had been gripping it. She grabs a hair tie from her wrist, tying it back messily, licking her lips.
“Baby, I need to taste you or I might die.”
With that Paige brings her lips back to my neck, making her way down with a trail of wet, sloppy kisses between my breasts, down my stomach, my hip bones, her hands unbuttoning my jeans, shaky with need.
I watch as she gets on her knees on the floor between my legs, her blue eyes my face as she pulls down my jeans painfully slowly. I buck my hips, needing her mouth on me so bad I felt lightheaded. Paige’s hands pin my hips down with a grin, eyes moving to my panties and the visible spot that had grown wetter under her gaze.
“Fuuuckk ma,” she groans, finally bringing her lips to my core, kissing over my panties.
I whine and grip the sheets beside me, trying to buck my hips closer but Paige shakes her head, still holding my hips still firmly against the mattress. “Thought you hated me,” she murmurs against my core. I wanted to cry, needing her lips on my bare skin. The feel of her mouth through my panties wasn’t enough.
“I do,” I whine, squirming in frustration, throbbing with need. I wanted to hate her, I really did. But when she was between my legs, pinning me down, a chain on her neck and that smirk on her face, I simply couldn’t.
Paige brings her hand to my hip, finally pulling my panties down to my ankles, her eyes never leaving my core. With a bite of her lip, she brings her finger to my cunt, already soaked, all for her. Her fingertip presses against my clit menacingly, enough to make me gasp.
“If you hate me so much then why are you this wet huh?” Paige teases with a gravelly voice, starting to circle my clit slowly, drawing out whimpers from my lips. My legs immediately trembled, and I watched her with heavy eyes and furrowed brows, nearly unable to think yet alone speak.
“You’ve been such a bitch all night shoulda known you just needed to be fucked,” she chuckles, pressing her fingers harder against my clit, making me let out a moan. It had been weeks since we last did this yet the way she touched me seemed practiced and effortless, like she had been doing it every single day of her life.
“Fuck you,” I moan arching my back as Paige bit on my inner thigh, the veins in her forearm turning visible from the strain of rubbing my clit.
“Nah ma,” she breathes out, shaking her head. “I’mma fuck you. Just need to taste this pussy first,” Paige groans and leans over, both her hands gripping my inner thighs harshly, forcing them apart as she dives in face first, her lips quickly attaching to my clit.
“Shit. Paige, I-” I moan, unable to come up with any comprehensible thought, Paige’s tongue lapping me up like she really would die if she didn’t taste me. Paige’s eyes are fluttering shut and she’s moaning against my cunt, unable to get enough.
“Fucking missed this pussy so bad,” she murmurs against me, wrapping her lips around my clit and sucking. “Taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough of you,” she rambles on, making a quick mess of me. It doesn’t take long for the coil in my stomach to tighten, my hand gripping onto Paige’s blond hair, falling out of the bun now.
“Paige-” I whine, throwing my head back, feeling her tongue swirling in my folds. The sheets underneath me were growing damp, wetness dripping out of me from how good she was eating me out.
Paige pulls away spreading my folds apart with her fingers. “Shit ma she loves me huh,” she groans at the sight of me dripping all over the bed. Her words make my eyes roll back. Without warning she pushes two fingers inside me, all the way, as deep as she could.
“OH fuck P” I gasp loud, bringing my eyes to her face, glistening with the mess I had made on her. She groans, my cunt tight and wet around her fingers as she curls them against me, her bicep flexing as she does. I moan loudly, throwing my head back, my legs shaking bad. Paige’s thumb rubs against my clit harshly as she pumps her fingers into me, other hand holding my squirming body still.
“P… mmph, please,” I cry out, not even sure what I'm pleading for.
“Shh,” Paige coos, her hand reaching up to cover my mouth and shut me up. “Listen ma,” she says and groans. The room is filled with the sound of my wet cunt, as her fingers slam into me faster, curling harder. My cheeks burn up, almost embarrassed at the state that she had me in.
Paige grins watching my face. “Don’t sound like you hate me, huh,” she murmurs, a bead of sweat dripping down her face. “No one else gets you this wet right? No one fucks you like this,” she groans, hand moving from my mouth to gripping my jaw, making me watch her finger me.
“Mmmh,” i whimper and grip the sheets harder, overwhelmed with the fullness her fingers were causing. I wanted to look away, unable to take the way her arm looked, muscles flexing, veins prominent, as she worked me. It was all overwhelming me as the pleasure built enough to make me shut my eyes.
“Answer me,” Paige commands, her voice stern and her hand moving faster.
“Shit… No one.. No one fucks me like this,” I cry out, unaware of what was coming out of my mouth. Too fucked out to care.
Paige moans. “Shit, that’s right. No one baby, only me,” she murmurs, her mouth returning to my clit, tongue working against it as her fingers fill me up, overwhelming me and getting me to my peak.
“P- I’m close,” I cry out, my legs nearly shutting but Paige grips my thigh with her free hand, spreading me open for her.
“That’s it ma, s’ good for me,” Paige coos working harder, her fingers curling inside me, tongue flicking against my clit. “Come for me baby,” she praises, groaning against me.
“Oh-” I whine and my head lulls back as my core tightens around her, my legs trembling, Paige fucking an orgasm me to my orgasm. Who cared she slept around, who cared I was supposed to hate her. In this moment, it was just me and her. And no one made me feel like she did, no one took care of me like this.
“Perfect fucking pussy, all for me,” Paige groans against my cunt, working me as I released all over her, the pleasure washing over me in waves. My moans turn to whimpers as I slowly come down, her movements slowing too.
I let out a breath, feeling the aching emptiness inside me as Paige pulled her hand away. She watches my pulsing cunt, mesmerised and hungry. The thing about Paige, one was never enough for her. Her lips kissed around my clit before pulling away, licking her lips from my mess.
“Missed how you taste baby,” she murmurs while I lay back, trying to catch my breath. Paige brought her fingers against my lips, sliding them into my mouth. I wrap them around her fingers, tongue swirling against her, tasting myself. Paige hisses, watching me sucking on her fingers. With a groan she climbs back up, kissing me hungrily. The taste of me, and her saliva all mixing together.
Her lips move against mine, the kiss filled with something more tender than pure lust. My arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her in as we move up towards the headboard of the bed. Paige breathes heavily through her nose, kissing me with all the need she had, her hand holding my face by my jaw. I move my hand from her shoulder, down her arm, squeezing her bicep, all the way to the band of her Nike Pros, tucking on them.
“Need to feel you P,” I admit in a moment of weakness, my heart fluttering with how good it felt to be underneath her again. I needed all of her.
Paige pulls back a little, breathing heavy and I swear her eyes are filled with tenderness for just a second as they meet mine. Her fingertips trace my jaw and lower lip before letting go and pulling down the fabric I was tugging on, lips parted from need. My eyes roam her sports bra covered chest, down the muscles of her abdomen finally to her core. I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly going dry.
I reach up and flip us over, with some help from Paige who was much stronger. She grins, watching me on top of her, straddling her thigh as I lean down and kiss her hard. Paige is quick to place her hand on my ass, gripping it harshly and hissing at how good it felt to touch me. My hand trails down her abdomen, fingertips itching to feel her cunt but she grabs my wrist, shaking her head.
“Ride me ma,” she says, half commanding, half pleading. I open my eyes meeting her eyes and I realise, she is fully pleading.
“Need to feel that pussy on mine.” Shit.
Too weak to fight or to make her beg, I maneuver myself between her legs, angling her body just right, Paige’s other leg up in the air in my grip. Paige watches me, leaning back against the bedframe, eyes half shut and mouth agape, looking so good I could’ve burst.
Finally, I lower myself against her, feeling the slick of her cunt press against mine.
“Ohhh shiiit,” Paige groans, watching our cores grinding against each other. I whimper, pressing on her lower abdomen to find just the right angle.
“Oh,” I whine, feeling her pressing against my clit just right, my body immediately trembling, still sensitive from my previous orgasm.
Paige’s head lulls back at the same time, as she lets out a guttural groan, gripping my ass and forcing me to start moving my hips.
I do so, slowly, drawing it out for her - just the way Paige loved and simultaneously hated. Her breathing was getting heavier as she watched me. “Just like that,” she whimpers, trying to keep herself together. It never lasted for long.
I moan, grinding my cunt into hers, watching her face scrunch up in pleasure. Her hands snake around me, unclasping my bra with ease, letting my tits fall out as she groans.
“Look so fucking good for me,” she murmurs, a slight whine in her voice as she leans forward, her mouth attaching itself to my nipple, tongue circling it as i ride her faster, mind spinning once more. “Such a bitch huh who knew you’d be so good for me,” Paige whines and I grip her shoulders, steadying myself, letting my nails dig into her skin as she hisses.
“You’re the bitch,” I whimper breathlessly, letting out a gasp when she bites my nipple. Paige’s hand are digging into the skin of my ass, forcing me to move faster, her hips bucking into me. She chuckles, breathing heavily, head falling back against the bed frame. “Shut the fuck up and ride me ma,” she hisses, gripping my jaw and forcing my gaze to lock on her face.
I hiss, furrowing my brows as i look down at her, moving my hips desperately, our cunts grinding together harshly, igniting that familiar burn inside me.
“Pisses me off, pretending you don't want me. Pretending you don’t want me to fuck you, it’s bullshit,” Paige groans, fighting back her own orgasm now. Her voice shook and the muscles in her abdomen were contracting as she looked up at me. “Look at you now riding my shit, being a slut for me,” she rambles on. “You’re my slut ma,” Paige moans bucking her hips into mine, eyes fluttering shut from pleasure.
My nails dig into her skin harder, my whole body trembling. I was close, and her words only made me ride harder, grind against her faster, the slickness of her cunt making me wetter. Paige’s hand squeezed my jaw, forcing my eyes open.
“Tell me.. Shit- tell me you’re my slut,” Paige whines. She’s desperate for it, barely aware of the words coming out of her mouth. I can tell she's close
“Mmph, P-” I moan, my cunt throbbing.
“Aw shit- I- Tell me,”
“Fuck I am, I’m your slut P, please,” I mewl, my eyes growing wet as they shut.
“That’s right ma, fuck- ride me so good you’re gonna make me come,” Paige murmurs out inbetween moans, hands gripping my jaw and ass so tight I’m nearly bruising underneath her grip.
My whole body shook and I cried out, barely able to keep grinding my cunt into hers, her clit pressing against mine. But when I heard the moan that slipped from her lips, and felt her mouth attach to my neck, I knew I’d do anything to get her to fall apart beneath me.
“P- I’m-” I cry out but she interrupts me.
“Me too baby, shit- ride me so- aw fuck- fucking good,” Paige rambles on, barely able to form sentences as she moves underneath me, the friction growing unbearable between us as she lets out a guttural moan, her body coiling underneath me.
“Fuck-” Paige finally moans.
That’s enough to get me there too, coming against her cunt, fingernails leaving marks on her shoulders as I kept grinding my hips, movements turning sloppy as i whimpered on top of her, riding down waves of pleasure.
My body trembles, eyes still closed when I feel Paige’s hands wrapping around my body and pulling me down. My naked body presses against her skin as she soothingly rubs my back, nuzzling her nose into my hair.
I sigh, listening to her trying to catch her breath. After a while, she breaks the silence.
“Meant it when I said I missed you,” she murmurs into my ear, still out of breath. I bury my head into the crook of her neck, brushing her hair gently. It was moments like these that got me confused. You didn’t do this just for someone you fucked. Except Paige did.
“Don’t like fightin' you,” she whispers, pressing a kiss on my temple. I feel my heart fluttering in a way I didn’t want it to. But I’m too tired to fight it. I press a kiss on her jaw, gently and pull my head back to meet her gaze. She looks completely fucked out, mascara smudged under tired eyes. Her hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair off my face before she leans over and kisses my forehead, as tenderly as humanly possible. Maybe this was her trying to show me I was in fact different, that she was done with the other girls. She just wanted me.
“Don’t like fighting you either,” I whisper, resting my chin on her chest. Paige’s eyes are filled with relief, as she smiles weakly.
“I’mma get us some water, okay ma?” Paige hums and I nod, letting her crawl out of bed from underneath me. I watch the blonde pull her clothes back on and turn to me, smiling affectionately. She leans down and presses another kiss on my temple, smoothing over the blanket to make sure I was comfortable. “Just a sec,” she whispers before walking into the kitchen. Surely you don’t do that just for a girl you fuck. There’s no way you look at someone like that and proceed to sleep around with other people. My heart flutters as I let my mind wander, finding myself fantasising of getting to call Paige mine. All mine.
Just then I heard Paige’s phone buzzing on the bedside table. Without my better judgement, I reach over, seeing countless missed calls and messages from a girl, asking where she was and when she’d be over. My heart sinks, the reality quickly bringing me back down from my daydreams. Paige wasn’t here because I was special. No. She was here because I was whipped, and she knew it. And I had given her every single thing she wanted.
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taglist (ppl who commented on the teaser or urged me to write lol): @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @uwupaige @lovegalor333 @celestixldarling @mrsbueckerss @t0ygirl @thesecondgaycousin @jnkfaist @rosemariiaa @sierrale8ne @janaelalfysblunt @tndaqlifwy @xxloveralways14 @vbueckers @bueckersfive
ty everyone enjoy this idk if i will write again lmao
#paige bueckers#lilas writing#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers x female reader
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This ‘quote’ from Yoko is certainly something
"It's a pity, really. I like Paul! I think of him as a friend. John is the one who doesn't like Paul. Paul was always the cute one and John was jealous of that. When I first met Paul I was attracted to him. I'm like that when I really like someone. I try to get close to the guy who's close to the guy I like. That's why I was getting close to John, so I would be near Paul if he wanted to make a move. And Paul was attracted to me, I could see that. But he couldn't handle the idea of being attracted to somebody John was with because that would be a violation of the fraternity rules. I was someone else's property; that's how men think, you know. So then Paul was very frustrated because he wanted me and felt that he couldn't have me. That's why he always acted so mean to me. Men always think like that, you know. If they can't have a woman they want to punish her. But I think that he was always a little interested because of the way he looked at me. Even when he used to come here with Linda, he was always looking at me funny when he knew Linda and John couldn't see him doing it. There were other things too, like he got married because John and I did."
"I thought that he got married to Linda before you married John."
"Well he did, but he knew that John and I were planning to, so right away he married Linda so he would get the headlines first. He's like John that way, very competitive. I think that if it wasn't for me, he never would have married Linda at all. She was just a groupie, you know. I don't think they ever would have married if it wasn't for the competitive pressure between John and Paul and Paul's frustration about me. He just married her to prove that I didn't mean anything to him. I think he does still feel something about me though. Do you want to read on that and see how he's feeling about me?"
I did and it didn't look like love. Disdain, maybe, contempt certainly, but definitely not love.
"He seems to have gotten over his infatuation with you."
"Are you sure? That's very funny. Well, he hasn't seen me in such a long time, so maybe that's it… I don't know why men think that I'm so attractive. But they all seem to. I can tell from the way they look at me—Do you think if Paul were to see me that he would be attracted again? I still like him, you know."
Excerpt from ‘Dakota Days’ by John Green
#poor john#yoko saying she only got with him to get a chance with paul#it ties in with what we know about her going to paul first but still#usual caveat that this is a beatles book and therefore tarted-up fanfic#especially from john green#beatles books#john and yoko#paul mccartney#yoko ono#insane quotes: yoko edition
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Phan Fic Recs!!
here's a bunch of my absolute favorites for anyone who needs a distraction from the election <3 i will make a second post with shorter ones as well, this post will just be fics that are over 10k
Inheriting Love by Fictropes (22k)- Dan is a lawyer who executes wills in a small town in the English countryside, and Phil's aunt leaves him a house. One of the cutest fics I've read recently tbh, lots of banter and cows<3
Silver Arrows to the Heart by @evermorepeyton (137k, WIP)- How could i POSSIBLY make a rec list without including this masterpiece??? Dan and Phil are Formula 1 drivers, chaos ensues<3 sooooo much fun (and there are some really beautiful cool women in there too, just as a treat)
dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) by kishere (123k)- Dan is an amateur figure skater who scores a spot at the famous Lester training gym, where he meets the legendary Phil Lester and of course they fall in love... this one has sooo many cute fetus moments and wonderful cameos from Kath<3 absolutely love it
Like a Bowl of Oranges by cloej88 (@bitchslapblastoids) (47k)- Phil is a filmmaker looking to amplify queer stories in the media, Dan is a ghostwriter who's been writing a memoir on the side, you can guess what happens next. very VERY fun fic, lots of drama and lovely reflection, as well as the softest scenes between them. love this one (and the author :3)
The Odd Uneven Time by @yikesola (20k)- A 2009 fic from Phil's perspective, falling in love with a boy over the Internet. Absolutely WONDERFUL vibes, so so so cute (and it probably happened in real life ahaha)
Live Incidentally by yikesola (37k)- Phil makes novelty t-shirts and Dan buys them :) really funny, also some great Lester family moments
The Pianist Everyone Is Talking About... Is My Husband by @natigail (25k)- Dan is a famous pianist, Phil plays his songs on the radio, but nobody knows that they're actually married. Lots of chaos ensues, crazy fangirls can feel super represented, and Dan laughs at Phil about it all<3 this fic is so funny lol, highly HIGHLY recommend
Kick Me While I'm Down by jerserker (14k)- Dan and Phil join an adult kickball league! Phil just wants to make friends, and Dan... kicks everyone's asses <3 Really funny competitive Dan, fun times honestly :)
missing the obvious by Fictropes (14k)- Dan plays videogames in an anonymous Discord server at night, and during the day he goes to his boring office job and hooks up with his coworker Phil in bathroom stalls... I wonder how these two things could possibly be connected...
Our House by sierradeux (50k)- Dan is a real estate agent, Phil is a Youtube house flipper, they team up to cohost an HGTV renovation special and fall in love. With the house, obviously. But also with each other <3 this is one of my favorites guys I think it should be required reading for everyone on phannie tumblr
maybe this christmas by blackbirddan (13k)- it's November, im allowed to rec christmas fics now, right??? anyway, this one is HUGE for fans of the Lester and Howell families, just so so so soft and sweet and awesome<3
Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY by natigail (176k)- i mean this one has a pretty self explanatory title... read for super hot dancer Phil, awkward celebrity Dan, and so so so many beautiful outfit and dance descriptions :3 seriously, I wish I could watch this season irl :( this is for sure in my top 3 fics of all time to be so honest
they grew up so nicely, didn't they? by natigail (15k)- Cornelia pov on meeting the boy Phil brought home, and then throughout the years. SO CUTE!!!!! really big for fans of outsider pov (me)
okie dokie<3 i will be making an under 10k rec list as well, so be on the lookout for that one!
#shoutout specially to natigail and Fictropes you guys have been saving my ao3 bookmarks almost singlehandedly forever#dan and phil#phan#dnp#phandom#dip and pip#phil lester#dan howell#dnpg#dapg#dan and phil games#fic rec#phan fiction#phan fic#phan au#daniel howell#phanfiction
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#it's about the intricate laws around social etiquette which basically boils down to corruption and nepotism#it's integral for rome to ever exist at all i tell you#and i knooow it's not that deep but agh. it's about contexts#<- prev that’s why it Never made sense to me why Richard was like ‘yeah we don’t care about your godly parent’ & gave jason the—#rags-to-riches praetor story#like undoubtedly jason could have & Did work for his position considering his whole…hand to hand combat with a tian in the war 🧍#but also he was 100% a nepo baby primed since a toddler for the position idk why Richard would pretend otherwise yk
Rose I can't be normal about Rome, I'm so sorry for this essay I made but I needed to get this out of my head.
It would actually be great if he just leaned into the toddler priming thing, because that's the one thing that screams Roman culture. A child from an affluent family (in this case, the son of fucking Jupiter innit) would absolutely be groomed to become Praetor, but it's the corruption and nepotism which makes the Romans so interesting!
The way their corruption and nepotism works is absolutely systemized, it's an integral part of the administration. If we go by the Roman Republics system, which I'd argue is the only one we can use for Camp Jupiter and New Rome considering it's a bit difficult to use an administrative system that only exists in the context of rapid expansion and imperialism without said rapid expansion and imperialism, Jason would still have to work hard for his position. It would be easier for him compared to someone with a lower standing, but he'd still have to play all kinds of political games to get it.
You had to climb a career ladder, and win the people over to get elected to a higher magistrate. To win people over you'd have to drain your funds (and take out some loans) to invest in the public and make yourself recognizable, and of course it would help you a lot to have ancestors who were also successful magistrates. If you did have these successful magistrates in your family tree, it wasn't unusual to use their death masks part of your election campaign, like this guy did:
It's all about honour and prestige for the Romans, and powerful ancestors is a part of that. So basically, Jason would be a shoe-in for Consul (fuck richard, why did you call them Praetors, that's a different magistrate😭)
ANYWAY, if you wanted to get to the top you'd still need to go through the cursus honorum(ladder of offices), and start as a Quaestor, then go on to Aedil, then Praetor, and finally Consul. After Augustus they'd elect 20 Quaestors every year, (I think it was 16 before that but I'm not sure, I wrote a question mark in my notes lol) and only 2 of those could end up as Consul in the end, and considering these people put themselves into insane amounts of debt to get to Consul you can imagine the competition was intense. The way you earned back your money was through conquest and war trophies, which you could do by being praetor. So basically use everything you had and didn't have as Quaestor and Aedil, and earn it all back in the last stages. Following Julius Caesars political path will give you a pretty good idea of what a very successful run through the cursus honorum would look like.
Of course this system can't be the exact same in a fantasy book series for kids, I mean it's pretty unrealistic for a 16-yearold to get through all of those steps(you had to be like 30 to even START on the cursus honorum in real rome), and this is just the abridged version of how these things worked so I understand why we can't have an exact replica of the roman republic but I'd like for there to be something more than a few titles (THAT ARE WRONG)and a vague "we're more militant and strict than the greeks" because it would be cool world building, explain New Rome a bit more, and appeal to me personally lol.
I need to not think too deeply about how camp jupiter/new rome could function at all based on the roman republic/roman empire because by all accounts. It shouldn't function at all
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Ours seemed very last minute, Toronto seemed like they saw ours and actually organized it
so what you're saying is they copied our homework? i like it
#one thing about me is i'm very competitive#to be fair our social admin did go bc i know the feeling of standing and recording#and you don't get those shots if you just ask someone who's there to do it#and i don't think it was team canada soccer admin bc they probably had their own things to do
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When he's mad and wants to talk down to you, but he's also shorter than you, you have to make it work somehow!
#they went pumpkin picking or something idk we don't do that here HAHA but I think they'd do the cringe basic stuff like that#me too I like cringe basic stuff I'm just saying they're both really annoying and don't know how else to do anything#so they're always googling 'good date ideas'#ofc they do things regarding each others' hobbies/interests but I just KNOW they get competitive about it too#trying to plan the best date for each other while seething with blind competitive rage#you know what I mean? I think they're both really stupid and annoying bitch 4 bitch but different types#like they're so cute together but they CANNOT do anything calmly they're very funny to me#every argument is ended by one of them saying 'because I love you!!' and the other one going 'o..omg 🥰' and then they forget about it#yk what I mean? yeah I know you do#art#digital art#fanart#jondami#damijon#damian wayne#jon kent#screentone#manga style#also my screentoning is getting better yippee!!#if I turn this into a small comic.... maybe I do#also this argument isn't even serious he's just mad bc Jon keeps 'undermining' his opinion on which pumpkins are best#bro's a farmer he knows his gourds imo sorry bro#illustration
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Elizabeth Taylor got married 7 times, and 2 of her husbands were more than 20 years older than her, only the last one was younger than her.
Am I surprised? No, not at all, but atleast she didn't stay in those marriages even tho she still got abused A LOT
Also, marylin Monroe, she was abused throughout her childhood, and her marriages were always abusive, she.... everyone knows about her so I'm not gonna waste time explaining
Halle berry has gotten married 3 times and has faced domestic violence
Jennifer Lopez has gotten married 4 times and has been a victim of domestic violence as well
Also, Mahesh Bhatt definitely used to sexually abuse his daughters, i don't need proof, my eyes are more than enough, no wonder Alia wanted to get out of that environment so badly that she ended up marrying a man like Ranbir
There are so many examples like these, it'll take me years to list down all of them, did all of them have a bad birth chart? No. Did they have a bad d9? Also no. You have to consider EVERYTHING before making an interpretation. And more than anything, you have to be aware of yourself and your circumstances and make sure that you only get into a relationship once you've healed your childhood traumas, otherwise you'll always make decisions based on that. I go visit my friends and it's heartbreaking to see just how annoying their parents act, they constantly fight with each other, call names and stuff without ever considering the consequences that these actions will have on their child. It's not your fault, but it becomes your fault if you make your child go through the same thing. Please marry only after your prefrontal cortex is fully developed, so that you are able to think and make the best decision. It's fine if you get married late, it's not a competition, be very very careful, we as women, have to be even more careful considering the type of men out there. Look at the recent french case for example.... it's better to get married late to a good person rather than marry early to a bad person.. getting divorced is very difficult, the judges are ruthless, they're shit and they're misogynistic pieces of shit who support men, it's painful to stand in a court, seeing your mom being humiliated, and you being criticised for wanting to be with your mom. Your mom might not have had the chance to live her life the way she wanted to, but you do, or i hope you do, and if that's true, then I want you to make informed decisions about your life. Have hobbies and friends, who you love spending time with, so that you won't feel lonely. If you're lonely, then getting a bf won't help, you need healthy relationships outside of romantic ones. Platonic relationships are very important for mental well being.
I have said this so many times that at this point I feel like a fucking parrot. So I was reading about the whole Halle Bailey situation, she is 24 years old, already has a baby with a guy who everyone hates, rightfully so. Thankfully, we know her time of birth, so I got to work, her birth chart is not too bad, moon in 8th (which is not really a good placement, but can be managed through remedies) but other than that, it's good, 7th lord is in it's own sign, it conjuncts Jupiter which is again, good for marriage. I look at her d9 and it's good, indicates small problems that are resolved without much issue. Right, it's fine, everything is okay. Now, her baby daddy is.....well, he's a jealous and possessive piece of shit, oh and he's also a cheater, AND he constantly puts her down, what else could you possibly want in a man. Here's the thing, I started doing research, and guess what, Halley Bailey's dad (Doug) was charged with two counts of family violence, he was accused of causing visible body harm to his wife and an arrest warrant accused Douglas of punching his wife in the face numerous times. And guess what, Halley's mom took him back, again and again and again, do you know what message this sent to her children, that it's okay to be in a abusive relationship, that it's fine to be abused and stay, that it's okay to forgive a fucking piece of shit no matter how many time he fucks up. A birth chart can only do so much, it doesn't matter how good it is, if other factors are fucked then you're fucked, a birth chart tells you what CAN happen, it doesn't tell you what WILL happen. But then dumb, stupid bitches wanna argue in my comment section and tell me how I shouldn't "normalise" divorce, seeing your parents getting divorced is painful, it's sad and it fucking hurts, but it sends a subconscious message that it's better to leave a painful situation. You might not realise it when your parents are going through it, but you'll realise it when you grow up.
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i'm always out here talking about byan's trauma with men, but honestly they have almost as much when it comes to boys. most of the bullying, harassment, and mistreatment they received from their peers growing up came at the hands of boys. not all of it, of course, but considering that was the generalized group they were shoved into most of their life, and the one they didn't fit in with... it's where more of the damage came from.
#they're a little more lenient when it comes to boys... but not by much#like they'll give u a chance to not be trash but if u fuck that chance ur not getting another one#it's kind of... ironic in a way bc byan... kiiiind of acts in a lot of ways like the sort of boys they hate?#like lbr they have a lot of sorta stereotypical masc behaviour but the CONTEXT is different#it's more of a retaliation than like... entitlement? if I'm making sense here? 🤔#they became what they had to in order to survive#and throw that sort of stereotypically masc aggression BACK at men#sort of a way to give them a taste of their own medicine ig#...I've derailed my original intended topic a little here but this is another thing that's been on my mind adjgksh#the point is they also dislike boys bc they were hurt by them a lot. mocked by them a lot. used by them a lot.#they've got some horror stories about boys. not as many as they do about men but lbr it's not a competition#they're both trash in byan's mind (:#with limited exceptions. very VERY limited exceptions.#which no has not done much to change their fairly black & white thinking on the matter in case u were wondering#god I'm rambling someone shut me up#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made.
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#seraph speaks#k word use#everything going on rn is just. awful. my dash makes me sick to my stomach on a regular basis.#but i feel such immense shame at the very idea of blocking The Words even if it's for my own well-being#because then i'll be One Of The Bad Jews or whatever#honestly this site feels really really hostile again#it hasn't felt that way since i was sent graphic gore and death threats during one of the nazi raids years and years ago#and the worst part is that this unsafe feeling is coming from ppl who i generally quite like and even trust.#to make it even worse i KNOW ppl will deride and mock me for the very fact that i (a filthy fucking jew) feel terrified and unsafe rn#because ~i'm not the one being actively bombed right now~#i've already seen it happening.#and i just. am so tired.#as if this is a fucking competition? obvs i'm not saying i have it worse than palestinians#but honestly if you have the time to mock jews for being afraid rn#bc antisemitism ALWAYS spikes when israel's in the news for crimes (bc gentiles think all of world jewry is responsible for those crimes)#it's already been bad. it's going to get worse.#and if you come into my asks or my replies or w/e about this and get combative#genuinely just call me a fucking kike so i can block you#i just assume that if you have the time to bitch at random jews for the gall to be afraid rn that you aren't someone currently in a warzone#i feel like they have more important things to worry about than harassing jews on tumblr dot com.#anyways sorry for the [gestures] this#im not going to say anything else. will likely block certain words eventually as well. i'm just so exhausted and upset.#it's been all i can think abt.
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frustrating how so many craft books have a section about "how to sell what you've made"
like on one hand i get it because the person writing the book has obviously made their craft a full-time job. and they might have some tips and tricks that might be useful, and there are people out there who might be trying to start a small business out of it
but on the other hand it's just exhausting and feels like another voice saying "what's the point of having a hobby if you're not going to monetize it"
#the one of those that rly boils my blood. that i still think about all the time. almost ten years later#the art of language invention by david peterson lmao. fuck that. it is NOT actually a helpful resource if youre trying to get into conlang#in the intro he pretty explicitly was like 'yeah i'm only writing this bc the publishing house approached me bc#i made up some languages for the game of thrones show and that's popular so they thought it would sell'#the meat of the book itself is pretty rudimentary stuff iirc. 'here's the ipa chart. this is what a morpheme is.'#some cool stuff in there about how to build your own font and mess with the kerning to make cursive but it was a program i dont have so#and at the end. hoooooo boy. this is where u can tell they told him to put in this kind of section bc he basically straight up said#'if you're reading this because you want to learn how to build a fantasy conlang dont bother :)#if you weren't on this specific forum in 2002 youll never get it. just hire a Real Conlanger instead'#like. that absolutely colored the rest of the book preceding it bc the entire thing was stuff i had literally just learned#in the intro to linguistics class that inspired me to want to learn how to make a language. so it was nothing new#and the added antagonism of basically saying 'if you dont already know how to do this IM not gonna help bc you'd be competition'#again i understand why he had that attitude bc that's probably how the publisher pitched it in the first place#'this is going to be a book for the average joe who knows nothing about language mechanics and might have aspirations#of writing a story with its own language (because obviously gameofthrones was the first to do that /s) and is wondering how to do it'#but just a very weird attitude to have#mine
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margaery when she heard renly and loras were scheming to get her to court so robert would become infatuated with her and replace cersei with her
#♡ about. ⊱ ❝ 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴. ❞#I think this is like . . . the one scheme of theirs that she wasn't really a willing participant in lmao#like I'm sorry boys but that was SUCH a fucking stupid play to try to make. and not one I see marg attempting on her own volition.#it would have done a lot to give renly and loras more sway but would have done jack shit for marg personally and she would recognize that#the sad thing is I don't think she would have refused to do it altogether but it definitely wasn't the same prospect to her#as trying to marry joffrey or tommen#like yes marg wanted power she wanted to be THE queen but it's just Different under those circumstances#unsettling implications aside#with joffrey or tommen she felt she could have power over them at the very least#which is what put her into competition with cersei bc cersei wanted to keep that control over her sons#robert was much older and already married and she wouldn't have any power over him. cersei didn't and she's cersei fucking lannister.#and plus being seen as a 'mistress' first would have been bad for her reputation and we know how important her reputation is to her#and on top of all of that what is the fucking point??? if robert was almost guaranteed to die when she's still young????#then she'd just have to marry joffrey anyway if she had any hope to remain queen#but that would be almost impossible given the circumstances of her being previously married to his 'father'#also the irony of them planning this because they think she looks like lyanna and that will be enough to entice robert isn't lost on me#if they succeeded they would have just been damning her to the same fate lyanna had tried to run from#anyway the whole situation is just Nasty and I am shaking renly and loras by their well-conditioned hair#it's scary its gross it's ironic and sad
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"each thing I learn about you just makes me want to know you more" <-text from my neighbor just now. i don't know what i'm winning at, but i'm definitely winning at something.
#he wants to go for a walk tomorrow so i can tell him about my favorite words from the french dictionary.#'do you do anything that's not dorky and interesting?' <-another direct quote#he said that before he knew about the dictionary. this was in response to learning i write crosswords#joke's on him though because now that he knows about the dictionary i think he's caught up on all the dorky & interesting stuff#i do feel like i'm really winning this acquaintanceship. not as a competition between him and me but rather#as a competition between this acquaintanceship and all other acquaintanceships i've had with other people#the trick is to not say anything about your hobbies for the first like. four interactions. then you start parceling them out one at a time.#it only works because we have so much other stuff to talk about. being neighbors.#like at no point have we had to do the awkward 'so what do you do for fun?' thing. so it's just when it comes up organically#anyway i'm enjoying this because i usually feel like i'm a VERY boring person#but i have just been nailing the pacing here. the suspense! keep em wanting more#myfirstname mylastname international man of mystery#also the other day we were talking and i said 'i told you about my mom's vibrator‚ right?' because i was sure i had told him that story#and he was like NO????? so basically he just thinks my life is about 5000% more interesting than it actually is#i'm fine with that though. if it means i get a walking buddy (who has a cat! and gives me fruit sometimes!!!) all the better#fuck it i will just make a tag for him#voisin de palier#now i need to find my first post about him from like 2018 when i was sooooo suspicious of him for absolutely no reason
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:)
#but i am feeling better overall about it all since yesterday#i should have read it sooner but as i told you i got an a in that class#and the professor also gave me feedback it was so nice 🤧#i love my uni professors they're really great ☺️#it just reminded that i am good at some things and maybe i will hopefully achieve a good job with my studies one day...#he gave me feedback on a text i had to write on the course and also more general#he wrote he apreciated my interest & participation in class &that he loves seing nothing more than in his students than that as a professor#:))#i also got 10/10 points#and he agreed with a lot of my observation and thought it was interesting to read#but also while i do love football i am thinking of quitting it#altough i don't like to be a person that runs away from difficulties#but honestly i don't feel very welcomed in the team either and they are just so different we have little in common#they are not mean to me but i don't really feel part of it either and there is this one girl who is overly competitive#and she moans at you if you make a mistake in training like in training!#i mean i'm not overly upset about if sometimes some words fall in a match it can happen in the pressure but in training??#like she also probably thinks she's so good but if she were she wouldn't be at our team now would she 😂#like calm down#and she's a defender but if she had to defend me in a 1v1 i bet she'd lose actually because she could never keep up with my speed 😅#i mean she's not horrible otherwise but and not that i'm that great besides my speed and sometimes i have my moments where i dribble well#but i'm not the one acting like this#and she's also the type of person who has inked in her bio on social media which i find funny sry 😂#if anyone who reads this has this too pls don't be offended#but you know it just makes me think why? how is having a tattoo one of the most interesting things about you 😂#it's not a personality trait? nothing else of interest in your life that's sad 😅#doesn't need to be true for everybody but if you disagree tell me why like i don't see it lol#and i'm also worried i won't play like i'm not putting in so much time to then sit on the bench#i'd even try goalkeeper tbh if that means i'd be appreciated for it if i were good at it#it's not that i think i'm so good that i need to play just that i have limited time with uni and tennis already...#it's a lot already i would at least like to get something out of it
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