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juniperskye · 7 days ago

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I Can’t Do This.

Sneak peek: Reader is recently off of a long-term undercover operation (similar to Emily’s) that left her in a bad way. Director Cruz reaches out, assigning her to the BAU. After speaking to her therapist and expressing her concerns, they come up with a solution of how to inform her new boss of some of the horrors she endured on her mission. Hotch keeps a close eye on her, being careful not to trigger her…until one day, he accidentally does in the worst way. ITALLICS ARE FLASHBACKS! BOLD ARE THERAPY SESSIONS.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) BAU! Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 5605

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI,YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, mention of canon typical violence, mention of therapy, reader attends regular therapy sessions, mention of a toxic previous “relationship”, mention of a previous dom/sub dynamic, murder, talk of trafficking, forced consent (reader is working the undercover op) mention of previous abuse and manipulation, some use of y/n, Hotch accidentally triggering the reader, let me know if I missed anything!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“Y/n it has been three months since you returned from your undercover op, it’s time. The BAU needs an additional agent, and you’d make a great addition. It’s really not up for discussion.” Director Cruz ended with finality.

“I really don’t think I am ready. Director Cruz, I know it has been three months, and you guys have been so gracious with the paid leave, but I’m still working through everything I went through when I was under.” You explained.

“Your therapist and the FBI issued psych eval have both cleared you to return y/n. You’re joining the BAU. You’ll begin next Monday.” Cruz decided.

“Okay.”

With that you stood and exited his office. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the BAU, in fact, under normal circumstances you’d have been begging for this placement. But after everything you endured while undercover, you weren’t sure you could handle being on a team, especially not one run by Aaron Hotchner.

“You were recommended to me by Sheri, did she tell you anything about me?” He questioned.

“She mentioned you were looking for someone who knew how to follow rules.” You answered.

You had been assigned to an undercover operation in which a very powerful man would finally be brought to justice. Emilio Alvatorre, one of FBI’s most wanted. This man did unspeakable things and lucky for you, he was in the market for a new submissive. Normally the FBI wouldn’t jump at putting an agent in this kind of situation, however, in this case Emilio was known to keep his subs knelt at his side in his office. That would mean that you would be privilege to information that could take him down.

“So, are you good at following rules?” Emilio said in a voice meant to be sexy, but it was truly repulsive.

Leaning in to whisper in his ear, “The best.”

“I’m worried that Agent Hotchner is going to give me a directive and that I will follow it whether I agree with it or not. I am terrified that I have completely lost myself, and that I will just blindly follow.” You explained.

“Y/n we’ve talked about this, you are strong, you are capable of making decisions and speaking up for yourself.”

“Yeah but being at the BAU with Agent Hotchner, he’s a very commanding and dominant man, what if I fall right back into…” You trailed off.

“He is commanding and dominant, but he isn’t Emilio. I am going to give you some homework, and then I’d like to see you again on Thursday so we can go over it before you join the BAU Monday.”

“You’re right. What’s the homework?” You asked.

“I want you to first come up with a list of coping strategies for when you begin to feel anxious or overwhelmed on the job. Then I want you to write a letter to read to Agent Hotchner giving him some insight as to what you have been through.”

“Absolutely not! Sylvia I can’t do that!”

“Y/n I am not asking you to give him all the details, just a little bit that might help him to know you.”

“Fine.”

You had a hard time figuring out what to put in the letter to Agent Hotchner, debating what was too much versus what was too little to say. How much did he need to know, how much were you comfortable sharing…it was all becoming a bit much.

Ultimately, you’d written something up along with a perfect list of coping strategies that you knew would satisfy your therapist.

After meeting with her on Thursday and going over what you came up with, and allowing her to help you tweak a few things, your body filled with dread, anxiously awaiting Monday morning when you’d have to go into the BAU.

Director Cruz escorted you to the floor that houses the BAU, bringing you into Agent Hotchner’s office for introductions. You felt like you had just walked out on a stage completely naked with the way all the other agents were looking at you.

“Hotchner, this is Agent y/n. I sent over her file last week. She is going to start with the BAU today.” Director Cruz announced.

“Yes, I saw your email. It is nice to finally meet you.” Agent Hotchner greeted.

“Y/n would you excuse us for just a moment, I’d like to speak to Hotch here.”

Without another word you followed the director’s order. You stepped out of the office and stood patiently waiting for their conversation to end.

“She’s anxious.” Spencer mumbled.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Emily replied.

“No, look at her, she’s digging her nails into her palms, a light sweat has broken out on her neck, her heartrate has increased slightly, and she hasn’t looked up at us once. She’s probably suffering from severe anxiety.” Spencer rambled.

“Don’t profile the newbie Spence.” Emily scolded, patting his shoulder.

“Alright, y/n go on in and Hotch will fill you in on what his expectations for you are.” Director Cruz headed off.

With a light knock, you awaited Agent Hotchner’s approval before entering his office once again. Mentally chastising yourself for your submissive actions.

“Agent y/n, please, have a seat.” Hotch gestured.

You sat in one of the chairs across from him.

“It says here in your file that you’re recently returning from a twelve-month assignment. I noticed the assignment isn’t labeled as classified, but quite a bit of it was redacted. Can you speak on that at all?” Hotch inquired.

“Agent Hotchner, if it is okay with you, I have somethings I’d like to discuss. Some of which is relevant of that case, but it is primarily regarding the effects that case had on me.”

“Go ahead.” Hotch nodded.

“The undercover op I was working put me in a position in which I was forced and manipulated to blindly following directions from someone. I had to do this for twelve months, and since then, I have had a pretty hard time finding my voice again. Certain things can be triggering for me, so I wrote up some things for you, with the help of my therapist. There are coping strategies that I may need to utilize and there are somethings there for you, to navigate situations that may come up.” You were worried that this was all going to lead to Hotch doubting your ability to do this job. “I also want to make it known that I told the Director that I wasn’t ready to return to work.”

“Thank you for sharing this, I think it’ll help me to make your transition back to work smooth. As for you being ready, I think you sharing that information shows a lot about your strength and I think you are more than ready to be here.”

“Kneel.” Emilio ordered with a snap of his fingers.

You slowly dropped to your knees, sitting back on your heels and resting your palms on the tops of your thighs, your gaze focused on the frayed rug that covered the hardwood floor in front of you.

“Bring him in.” Emilio spoke into the intercom that connects him to his security.

The guards drag in a man who appears to be near death, clearly beaten. Emilio rests a hand on your head, gently petting your hair before speaking in a tone you don’t recognize.

“I heard you’ve been snooping around. Talking to Jeremy and his guys.” Emilio spat.

“I haven’t sir I swear!” The man was begging for his life.

“I don’t like snakes.” Emilio raised his gun and shot the man point blank.

You couldn’t help but flinch at the sound. A strong hand was quick to grip your chin.

“Flinching is a sign of weakness. I can’t have a pet that is weak.” His grip tightened “Are you weak?”

“No sir.” You reassured.

“Good.”

Working with the BAU had been going well, Hotch had truly been incredible. He’d encouraged you to share your thoughts and theories while on cases. He also reminded you to use your coping strategies when the cases became particularly overwhelming.

Like today for example. The team was working on a case that was taking a toll on you, mentally and emotionally. Women were being kidnapped then brutally tortured and left for dead in the street. It was becoming increasingly difficult to detach yourself from what these women must’ve been feeling.

Hotch was quick to notice the change in your demeanor and he made it a point to assign you with Spencer at the precinct. You were tightening up the victimology while Spencer worked on the geographical profile. You had come to the conclusion that the unsub was targeting victims primarily on their looks, they had all been of similar height, had same color hair and eyes. Worse than that…they all kind of looked like you. The sound of Derek and Emily approaching made your stomach sink. Spencer had clearly picked up on your anxiety since you’d been with the BAU, but the others, not so much.

“Hey guys, what did you find out?” Emily inquired.

“Well, I’ve narrowed down the geographical profile. This area right here…” Spencer gesture to the map covering the screen “this is his comfort zone, all the abductions and dumpsites fall within this five-block radius.”

“What about you new girl?” Derek nudged you gently.

“I looked into all the victims, and they all were approximately the same height and build, same color hair and eyes. I spoke to Penelope; she confirmed that all of the women frequented the same coffee shop.” You explained.

Hotch, Rossi, and JJ all entered just in time to hear Derek confirm your thoughts…which led to a suggestion that made your heart sink.

“Y/n these girls all kind of look like you...” Derek walks over to where their pictures are pinned up to the board. “Maybe we should send you to the coffee shop undercover. It could help us find this guy.”

You heart was pounding, causing a loud whooshing sound to drown out your hearing. You closed your fists and dug your nails into your palms. You could feel the sweat breaking out along your forehead.

In and out…deep breaths. You reminded yourself of the coping strategies you’d come up with for instances like this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…

“Absolutely not!” Hotch commanded, shaking you from your thoughts while simultaneously distracting the others from your very obvious panic attack.

“Hotch man come on! She fits the victimology perfectly; it could end this case if she could catch his attention.” Derek argued.

“It’s not up for discussion. I will not send a new agent undercover, not until she is more comfortable on this team. Undercover ops like that require a significant level of trust, one that she may not have yet.” Hotch shut Derek down.

“We know he must go to this coffee shop; JJ and I could go in and watch. Keep an eye out for a man acting suspicious.” Emily suggested.

“Good, first thing tomorrow.” Hotch said before dismissing the team for the evening.

“Sir, is it safe to be talking about this…with her here?”

“Are you questioning me?” Emilio sneered. “My pet is well behaved. I wouldn’t have her here if I thought otherwise. Who are you to question my decisions?” His voice raised.

“I’m sorry sir! I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just wasn’t sure.”

“Don’t let it happen again. Now I’ll ask again. What is the update on the shipment?” Emilio demanded.

“There are going to be three crates in the shipping container. The boat is set to anchor Friday at midnight.”

“And everything we were promised will be there?” Emilio asked.

“Well, not the girls. This shipment is just the weapons.”

“Excuse me?” Emilio’s expression turned sinister.

You were knelt by his desk like always. This conversation had been one you were banking on; it was hopefully going to allow your team to pick him and his associates up. Only, this conversation had taken a turn that you weren’t expecting. His shipments thus far had only contained drugs and weapons, so why was he asking about girls?

“I was assured that everything would be included. How fucking hard is it to follow orders?” Emilio shouted, his fist slamming onto his desk.

You sat still, silently taking in the situation. That night you’d check in with your team and fill them in on the new information. You just needed to get the logistics of when the second shipment would arrive, and honestly, you were scared Emilio would kill this guy before you got that information.

“I know boss. They told me that the girls would be here soon. There was an issue getting paperwork for some of them. But it should all be worked out now.”

“I need a date and time. By the end of the day. Otherwise, you’re done.” Emilio hissed. He then brushed his hand over your head. “C’mon pet, let’s go to bed. And you, I’ll be expecting your call.”

Going to bed with Emilio had initially been the worst part of this assignment. Thankfully he’d had you STD tested which meant you were both clean, and he’d ensured you received birth control shots. The sex had surprised you; you had expected it to be rough and painful but, it had been soft and gentle. Emilio whispered sweet nothings to you, and he held you close, and he’d carefully bathe you afterwards.

It may be sick and twisted…but it didn’t bother you, having sex with him.

A light knock at your door had startled you. You made your way over to check the peephole, and there he was waiting patiently.

“Hotch, is everything okay?”

“I should be asking you that. Morgan was out of line suggesting we send you in.”

“It’s okay, really. He doesn’t know any better.”

Hotch gave you a sympathetic look. You could tell he was doing everything in his power not to profile you. You appreciated his effort, and it truly was endearing. Around Hotch, you’d started to feel more comfortable around him and his consistent care of you and your mental health had been the thing that drew you in. He cared so much, and it meant the world to you.

“You seemed nervous earlier, does that have to do with the undercover assignment you worked?”

“Yes.” You sighed.

In the last two months of being with the BAU, you and Hotch had been teetering this fine line of coworkers and more. It wasn’t necessarily leaning toward something romantic, at least that’s what you were both trying to convince yourselves of but, it had definitely become a friendship. Hotch had allowed you a safe space in which you were starting to feel like yourself again. He had never pushed you for information about your past and he continuously checked in with you to make sure you were comfortable and okay. More recently though, as things like what happened today occurred, you have felt like maybe you should tell Hotch a little more about what you endured.

“You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I am here for you. I don’t want you to feel pressured or like you have to tell me anything! But if you should choose, I’d listen.” Hotch admitted.

“I was sent in undercover to investigate Emilio Alvatorre…” You began.

“Emilio Alvatorre? He was one of FBI’s most wanted! Lucrative arms dealer, importing drugs…I heard he was ultimately brought down for sex trafficking.” Hotch was stunned.

“Yeah, that was me. Emilio took part in a certain lifestyle; he is a dominant and he was seeking a new submissive…and I guess I fit the bill. He essentially owned me, and he referred to me as his pet. It was my job to follow his orders blindly, and I did.”

“What was it like?” Hotch questioned.

“Well…

“Good morning pet.” Emilio purred pressing a kiss right below your ear.

“Mmm, good morning sir. Can I make you breakfast?” You offered.

“No darling, the cook will prepare our meal. I think it is sweet you still ask.” His kisses travelled down your neck.

“Do you have meetings today?” You inquired.

“Today is all about you pet. We are going to get you some new clothes, shoes, and maybe a new necklace. I want to spoil you today! We are celebrating!” Emilio gushed.

It was the moments like this that fucked with your mind the most. Emilio could be so kind and gentle, he wanted to take care of you and in the time you’d been with him, it had been increasingly easier to let him. But then there were moments when he turned dark…the other side of him came to light and you couldn’t help but question your mind.

“Boss…” Emilio’s associate barged into the office, only to find you bent over his desk while he pounded into you from behind.

“Not now!” Emilio growled.

“But boss!” This guy really couldn’t take the hint.

Emilio wasn’t one who took well to being interrupted, in any aspect of his life. So, when this associate decided what he had to say was more important than Emilio’s time…you knew it would be bad.

Emilio’s hips never faltered, not upon the initial interruption and certainly not when he leaned to the side, grabbed his gun, and shot the man standing in the doorway. You pinched your eyes shut, knowing better than to react to the horrific sight before you. Emilio continued thrusting, his grunts becoming more erratic, and when he finally finished, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck.

“Go run a hot bath. Get in and wait for me. I need to go see about this issue and get this cleaned up.” Emilio stated as he assisted you in standing upright.

“Yes sir.”

“It was really hard for me to deal with the two sides of him. I became confused and my mind was so foggy as to whether or not he was truly awful. And I know that so much of that is the manipulation of being his submissive, but I was with him for a year, it was easy to forget what things had been like before Emilio.” You trailed off.

“I can’t even imagine all the things you must’ve seen and gone through in that time. I can understand why you weren’t sure about joining the BAU initially…but I am really glad you did.” Hotch expressed, placing his hand atop your own.

“I’m glad I did too.”

The next morning Emily and JJ were sent into the coffee shop that all the victims frequented, and they couldn’t track the unsub. Either he was far too subtle, or he hadn’t shown up. The team was currently in the precinct trying to figure out the next steps, when Derek suggested it again.

“I still think y/n should go undercover, it’s our best bet in finding this guy. What do you say new girl?”

You were taken aback; your mind was screaming at you to decline. You weren’t ready for this, going undercover, blindly following team orders. It’s for the greater good though, isn’t it?

“I could do that.”

“Morgan, I already said it’s not happening. She isn’t ready.” Hotch commanded.

“Hotch, we have all had to go undercover. There is no reason that she can’t go into the coffee shop and order a freaking latte. We will all be there to keep her safe, just like any other case!” Morgan was practically shouting.

“It’s okay. I can do it.”

“Y/n you don’t have to do this. Not if you aren’t comfortable.” Hotch was obviously trying to profile you based on his expression.

“I’m okay. I’ll do it.”

You were ordering a coffee, meanwhile Spencer was sitting in the back of the café reading a book and Rossi was in line, about three patrons behind you. Hotch insisted on sitting at a table just outside the entrance to keep a close eye on everyone coming and going. JJ, Derek, and Emily were all in the surveillance van parked across the street, waiting for the signal.

After you received your coffee, you found a seat at an empty table. It wasn’t long before a man approached you. He was tall and clearly strong; he had a very sinister aura that gave you the chills.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked.

“Oh, sure.” You agreed.

The man sat, but only after he moved the chair closer to you. He was talking to you, but you were having a hard time listening. You were silently begging the guys to come to help and get him away from you.

“You know, you’re really pretty. Why don’t we get out of here? We could go get lunch.” The man suggested.

“Oh, I’m not sure I should.”

“C’mon, be a good girl and get up.” His tone became more aggressive.

You stood up without a second thought, much to the unsub’s delight. He grabbed your arm in a bruising grip and began leading you out of the café.

“They’re on the move. Why is she going with him? This wasn’t the plan.” Derek exclaimed.

Hotch’s demeanor instantly changed. After you opened up to him about your previous assignment, he understood now why you had seemingly always followed orders willingly, only your willingness had been conditioned. Instilled in you through the manipulation of a very dangerous man.

“I got it.” Hotch

Hotch stood up and turned abruptly, purposefully plowing into you and the unsub. He made a move that shifted you away from the unsub and placed himself between you.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hotch feigned innocence.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Watch where you’re going asshole. Let’s get out of here.” The unsub reached for your arm once more.

“She’s not going anywhere with you.”

“You want to bet?” he said, pulling a gun from his waistband and pointing it directly at your head.

You didn’t flinch, in fact you didn’t move a muscle. All the while everyone else sprung into action. Hotch tried to talk him down while the rest of the team surrounded him on all sides. You had stood there completely disassociated while this man threatened your life and ultimately met his untimely end via Emily’s weapon.

“Y/n would you please come to my office?” Hotch requested.

You silently followed Hotch to his office. You were wringing your hands, hoping that he wouldn’t reprimand you for your behavior today. You couldn’t handle disappointing people.

“You didn’t even flinch. You had a gun pointed at you and you didn’t even blink. You also willingly left the café with him, which was not a part of the plan we had discussed.” Hotch stated, his tone calm.

“I’m sorry Hotch. He told me to get up and I just…I wasn’t sure what to do. I know we needed to catch the guy.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Hotch admitted. “I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt. I also don’t want you to agree to do things simply because someone tells you to. Like agreeing to go undercover.”

“I don’t know how to do that. Disagree I mean. I’m not sure I have that in me anymore.” You did everything in your power to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Y/n I’m not disappointed. I do think that it is very important you continue to work with your therapist.”

“I will.”

“…and I just stood there.”

“Y/n you we conditioned for over a year to sit still when any sort of firearm was shot, you watched people die right in front of you. You were covered in their blood and forced to remain kneeling until instructed otherwise. I can’t say I am entirely surprised that you didn’t react to having a weapon pointed at you. What does surprise me though was that you agreed to going undercover.” Sylvia finished.

“I knew it was our best option to finding this unsub. I fit the victimology, and I was able to fish him out. It was a no-brainer.” You shrugged.

“Now that sound like someone making a rational decision.” Sylvia smirked.

“Yeah well, after the case Hotch called me out and I felt like a child being scolded. I could barely hold back tears.”

“Why do you think that is?” She pressed.

“I don’t know. I guess, I’m afraid of not being good enough and worse, disappointing him.”

“The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself. Y/n you have made huge strides in the last five months and as long as you stay true to yourself, you will continue to do so.”

The months went on, as did the cases and your therapy sessions. Oddly enough, you had started to feel more like yourself. Things with the BAU have started to become easy, you were opening up little by little to the others and you were getting better at making your own decisions.

Hotch had also noticed the change. It had warmed his heart to see you really coming into your own, to really get to know the real you. Which had only strengthened his feelings toward you, causing him to work extra hard to shove them down. Rossi knew simply from the look Hotch gave you, but that’s a story for another time.

The team had been working back-to-back cases all over the country for the last few weeks. It had been exhausting and the team were getting to a point where everyone was snippy. Lack of sleep had led to a horrible lack of patience, and the local officers weren’t making matters any better.

“What if we were wrong, I think the unsub is a woman. I mean look at the attention to detail in the clean up and at how the bodies were presented.” You offered.

“Y/n could be right; a woman would take the time to be precise and it would explain the…”

Before Spencer could finish his thought, Officer Riley decided to provide his own theories.

“There is no way it is a woman. They don’t have the courage to take care of people like this. That’s why the statistic proves that the unsub is a man.”

“With all due respect, women are just as capable of murder as men, and when they do it they are often far more meticulous which is why that fits better here.” You explained.

“Well, with all due respect ma’am, I’ve been doing this job longer than you could walk.”

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t bother hiding your surprise.

“All I’m saying sweetheart, is that perhaps you’d be better off getting us some coffee.” Officer Riley sneered.

��Last time I checked, I’m the one working for the FBI and not some Podunk little police station in the middle of nowhere, Idaho. So how about you back off and let us finish our…”

“Y/N TAKE A SEAT.” Hotch demanded.

Despite your shock at Hotch’s tone toward you, you took a seat without hesitation.

“Officer Riley, please let my agents do their work. We have much more important things to be doing than arguing about the duties of a woman.” Hotch chided.

“Well, you clearly agree with me given the fact that you gave her an order. If you’d been on her side you’d have probably told me off.” Riley turned to you, “and you clearly do know how to listen to a man in charge. Perhaps I misjudged you.”

With that, Riley made his leave with a low chuckle, and you sat there considering what had just happened. Hotch had commanded you to sit down knowing full well you’d comply, that way he could deal with Riley without you continuing to tell him off. He used what he knew about you against you, despite all the conversations you’ve had with him. Despite him knowing full well your fear of blindly following orders.

“I can’t believe you.” You stood up and walked out, heading straight for the precinct exit.

“Y/n wait!” Hotch followed you.

As you landed on the sidewalk just upon the exit, Hotch’s had made its way around your upper left arm in a desperate attempt to slow you down and hear him out. Only you were in no mood to listen to him or anyone else right now. All you felt was the sense of betrayal blooming in your chest.

As he swung you back around to face him, you did something that shocked even you. You right arm followed around, landing a harsh slap to Hotch’s cheek. Your breathing was ragged, a look of surprise painting your features…a look of guilt flooding Hotch’s.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” You paused.

“No, Y/n I am so sorry I shouldn’t have-” Hotch pleaded.

“I need to go. I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” With that you left, calling a taxi, and heading back to the hotel.

“YOU STUPID BITCH! HOW COULD YOU?” Emilio Screamed, lunging toward you.

“Emilio I didn’t, I just…I”

Emilio wrapped his hand around your throat, harshly choking you as SWAT swarmed the shipyard. They quickly made their way to you, removing Emilio from his position over you. As they pulled him away you couldn’t help but watch him.

“Kneel Pet!” Emilio commanded.

You couldn't help but follow his order. Immediately dropping to your knees, resting your hands atop your thighs and letting your gaze fall to the ground.

“I will always own you! You will always be my pet, perfectly broken in!” Emilio hollered as they put him in the back of a vehicle.

“Y/n you’re okay, lets get you up and checked out.” Your unit commander suggested.

Only you didn’t move. You couldn’t get up, not without his permission.

That night, the paramedics had to sedate you to get you into an ambulance. And after that you were placed in a psychiatric facility for 30 days to help undo the brainwashing you’d endured.

“Sylvia, I slapped him. My boss, I slapped him right in the face!”

“Y/n you reacted to a situation and based on what you just explained to me, it seems like he knew he was in the wrong. You shouldn’t be blaming yourself and honestly, you should talk to him.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Maybe tell him how you feel.” Sylvia suggested.

You spent the afternoon practicing what to say to Hotch, Spencer had been texting you updates of that case as it progressed. He’d let you know that they caught the unsub and were headed back to the hotel. So, as you opened your door to make your way to his room, you came face-to-face with the man himself.

“Hotch.” You gasped.

“Y/n can we talk?”

You moved aside to allow him access to your room. You couldn’t help but feel nervous about the conversation that was to come.

“Hotch, I am so sorry for slapping you! I was just-”

“You shouldn’t be the one apologizing. Y/n I am so sorry, I heard you going off on Riley and I knew that if you kept talking he’d report you and I’d be forced to suspend you, only I hadn’t considered the effect that me demanding you take a seat would have on you. I need you to know it was not my intention to take advantage of you like that and even worse, I shouldn’t have put my hand on you the way I did. You had every right to slap me.” Hotch explained.

“You were trying to protect me?”

“Riley had made threats of reporting our staff for going against orders of the precinct. I knew that he’d report you for your behavior, despite him clearly being in the wrong. I didn’t want to suspend you.”

“I didn’t realize. But Hotch telling me to take a seat, in the tone you did, it felt like I was right back there. Following orders without thinking. With you, I can’t explain it, I would do anything you asked me to and that terrifies me. My feelings for you only add to that need to do anything you say, to do anything to please you. I can’t help it.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“Aaron! Is that all you took from what I just said?”

“Please say that again.” He whispered.

“Aaron.”

He let his eyes close and took a deep breath. You could tell he was holding back and though part of you was begging you to walk away, the other was telling you to jump in. You thought about what Sylvia would say, and you couldn’t help but release a breathy laugh, knowing full well that she would tell you that only you can make the right decision, and it is okay to trust yourself.

“Aaron, I am terrified…and it is going to take me some time to fully trust myself again, but I really like you and if you’re up for it, I’d like to give this a shot. Unless you don’t feel the same way, then please ignore what I just said an-”

Aaron pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours in a searing kiss. One that told you everything you needed to know.

“I’m scared too, but I want to try this Y/n. I know that you’re still working to find yourself, I am willing to wait if that is what you need, but I am also willing to be by your side every step of the way.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

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dimepdf · 1 year ago

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★ 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇-𝐀, 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄. + 𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐎'𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀

masterlist. / taglist. / tip jar. synopsis. no matter how many times you try to convince yourself that Miguel is the bane of your existence, the way you react during training proves otherwise.

─── ☆ notes. i need fics of miguel being an absolute dick, like a petty bitch just for the hell of it i need more attitude yk? Like if that man isn't calling me a slut it ain't canon! | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

─── ☆ length. 4.3k (33 min read).

─── ☆ genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni | no spoilers | smut, enemies to lovers, maybe mutual pining, fighting and violence, semi public sex, gym sex, mentions of abuse, size difference, pain kink, strength kink, degradation kink, manhandling, power play(?), begging, rough sex, cervix kissing, choking, fangs, biting, marking, cunnilingus, eye contact, hair pulling, creampie, open ended, not an taiyo fic without a few typos.

IF YOU ASKED any of the other Spider-men what they loved so much about being Spider-Man, their answers would all be the same, ranging from "the suit" to "the enhanced abilities." It was a no-brainer that being a superhero came with a few awesome perks.

Which was why your answer was just a bit confusing, "the combat." You would always smile, despite the many eyebrows raises and looks that convinced you you had to be some type of overcover masochist, especially since you would never really go into true detail about why.

Your reasoning behind putting on the mask was similar to all the others: another traumatized kid being thrown into a whole new reality that you never would have dreamed of being possible.

Sadly, you had been raised with the loss of most of your loved ones, and your family was in shambles from the abuse you would go through from them. It was the reason why it was difficult for you to grow up and make many friends, let alone navigate your abilities on your own accord, which was why it was a whole different ball game when you first joined the spider society.

When you first met Miguel O'Hara, you thought he was an overly intimidating man with an even more scary personality. Your aesthetics and morals would clash in the first few run-ins you would have with him.

In all honesty, you first thought him to be a massive dick who surprisingly needed more therapy than you did. From his bored expression to his unnerving glare, it was clear upon the first introduction that you two just would not get along.

Which was why the universe made him the only spider person willing and with enough free time to train you. It came as a surprise to you both, who are usually butting heads. Miguel was adamant about not wanting to waste his time training some little girl who didn't even know how to throw a punch.

With much shit-talking on your part and a lot of teasing claims of him being afraid that you were going to kick your ass, training had quite literally started in full swing.

It was probably a bad move on your part to push the buttons of the guy who was teaching you how to fight. Miguel was clear with his fight-style techniques. He was nimble with his limbs and swift on his feet. It was hard for anyone to get a hit on him, especially since he wasn't the type to hold back his punches.

His teaching style was the same: your sessions included throwing you around as if you were some ragdoll and picking you up as if you weighed nothing, just to slam you into the ground with full bruising force.

There would be some very rare occasions when you would manage to get the upper hand on him. Miguel was about a foot taller than you, not to mention how pathetically compressed you looked standing next to him. You learned that the only way you could manage to get the upper hand was by using your size difference to your advantage.

All the sessions you won were hosted by you managing to tangle yourself from his claws and climb his towering figure into a headlock, praying that you had enough strength in your legs to make him tap out.

"How is she not dead yet?" Miles would mutter, looking concerned, as he stood from the sidelines of the training room, watching one of your sessions, as the blonde by his side didn't even wince at the sound of Miguel untangling you from the headlock you had him in.

His arms moved faster than you could process as he managed to loosen your hold enough to slam the air from your lungs as you fell back facing against the mat so hard that even Miles was convinced he could feel the blow in the lower spine.

"I mean, at this point, I'm kind of convinced she’s turned into his personal punching bag." Miles strains to watch Miguel not even wipe a sweat as he sprung back on his feet. He stretched out his full body, towering over you, curled flat against the mat, trying to collect your breathing as well as your broken ego.

Gwen nodded in agreement. "I don't even know how someone could hit someone so...squishy? She’s just so cute." She muttered, watching with her arms crossed.

"This punching bag needs to learn that in the real world, people aren't going to go as easy on her just because she’s cute." Miguel, despite glaring at the two bystanders, leaned down and yanked you back onto your stumbling feet.

Your fingers combed through the matted curls now drenched in sweat away from your forehead, using your water break as the perfect excuse to help cover up the reaction to the sudden compliment that came from his lips and the way he had made you feel.

"And her being my personal punching bag is completely at her fault, if you want to learn how to fight, you have to learn how to take a few punches." You couldn't help but roll your eyes and wave your hand out in annoyance at another one of Miguel O’Hara’s famous lectures.

"I’m not a punching bag, did you not see the hold I had on him early?" You huffed, almost choking on your water, trying to protest. Gwen humored your claim, the blonde reaching out and rubbing your shoulder out of support as you continued with your defense. "Any tighter, and I would have easily snapped his neck."

Of course, Miguel only smirked as you continued grasping at straws at the point of trying to prove to your friends your improvement, his eyes flitting back and forth at the exchange, expressionless at the sight of you managing to still joke around as if you weren't about to pass out from fatigue at any second.

"And was that before or after the part where I kicked your ass, little girl?" He shot out, chipping away at the final lock that held back your annoyance, you hadn't even had time to process the insult before he bumped his shoulder into you on his way out of the training room.

His rude exit enticed a round of reactions from Miles and Gwen trying their awkward best to comfort the boiling pot of anger they saw written all over your face, rolling your eyes, you pushed past the two, not without grumbling a string of insults in Miguel’s name to the washrooms.

You blessed the spider lords for somehow having the ability to shower under running water, let alone the unexplainable strange amount of amenities that the spider society dimensions had.

Like a web shooter's wonderland, you quickly shed the sweating clothes you trained in and stepped foot into the cold cubicle shower booth, letting the water run for a bit until enough steam fogged clouded stepping under the stream. Even with the hot water splashing pressure against your aching muscles, no amount of water could manage to wash away the annoying feeling in your legs.

It was enough of a jab at your pride to even find Miguel attractive in the first place, and here your body was betraying you once more, begging, throbbing desperately for his every touch in its every form, and having the nerve to grow more intense during your training.

The feeling had yet to fully disappear the next day, even with your session starting off with you fueled from yesterday's comments. You tried pushing the feeling as you were just ready to have Miguel mutter another word insult with the ass kick you were ready to give him. It was the only possible explanation for why you were so jittery about getting to training on time.

"It took you long enough." Was the first thing you heard Miguel announce throughout the empty room.

He wasn’t wearing his suit—neither of you did while training—instead, he was wearing dark gray sweatpants paired with some random dark red graphic shirt that fit him a bit too snuggly to leave room for imagination around his arms.

"Almost thought you were gonna skip out."

You were aware enough to spot this quick observation of your outfit as well. Keeping it casual and opting for better mobility, you shimmied yourself into plain Nike shorts that stopped higher up than you had expected them to on your thighs with a loose tank top that peeked out the straps of your sports bra.

Nothing about your clothes screamed attention grabbing—at least that's what you thought before you caught Miguel’s red-tinted stare on the way your shorts hugged your thighs.

He glanced away, muttering something in Spanish you couldn't quite translate the moment your fingers fidgeted with the bottom hems of the shorts, tugging them slightly more down while deciding to break the tense silence that had managed to sneak up on you. "So what are we doing today?"

"Huh, I’ve been thinking." He answered, followed by the clearing of his throat, "We try something a little different." You could never get used to the roughness of his voice or the way he spoke with so much arrogance that it reminded just about everyone that he thought he was better than just about everyone.

Even now that you stepped towards the middle of the mat, standing rigidly just a few paces away from him, you could tell from that stupid, cocky expression as he stood looking down at you that there was no possible way that he would ever see you as a real threat. "I want you to try to hit me."

Your brows creased together in confusion.

"What?" was all you asked, which seemed to be the wrong question to ask as Miguel stretched out a sigh from his mouth, his hands coming close to his to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I said hit me." He speaks more slowly, making sure to mockingly over pronounce every symbol in every word as if you were a child. "Preferably soon and as hard as you can." A grimace finds itself twisting on your lips before you can even process your bubbling annoyance. Your body moved on autopilot because of your keen senses, jumping over the swing of his left leg with ease.

You couldn't say that swift grace stuck with your attempt at a counterattack. Bending your knee just enough to reach out and kick, you were only met with the bottom of your foot stomping flat against the floor mat and Miguel dodging your kick, standing just a few paces away. "Too predictable," he scolded in that annoyingly deep voice you hated oh so much and totally did not turn on you at all. You sprung yourself up by the heels of your feet and charged at him with full determination to land at least one punch on his stupidly chiseled, handsome face.

It had been your second mistake, giving him too much time to brace himself. Already regretting your emotionally impulsive start, resulting in the punch you swung being easily deflected by Miguel.

His hand wrapped entirely around your wrist, bending your arm almost out of your socket and kicking the back of your knee to the mat with his heel. You feel down to a kneel with a hissing pain in your arm threatening to get worse at any wrong twist.

"Lose that fucking attitude, or you’ll get sloppy." As if your body could radiate any more anger, you knew he was just trying to push your buttons, trying to throw you off your game with smack talk that was not working on you or anything.

"Again," he prompted, letting your arm go and stepping back, egging on another attack from you.

"Give me a damn minute." No matter how much you wanted to snap back at him with something snarky, you knew it would only prove his point entirely—not only that but also the fact that he was mentally hitting you in all the places that he knew counted the most to throw you off your game.

Biting back the insult you already had threatened to slip from your tongue instead of making a point by rolling your eyes as you stumbled back to your feet. Rolling your sore shoulder back as your eyes scan over his stance, trying to find the best opening for a better attack, you steady your breath and cloud your mind in thought. "You aren't going to get anywhere but dead standing around like that, you know."

So much for wanting to consider your options. Miguel took the first swing at you and was on the verge of kicking you on your ass if it weren't for your shoddy dodge.

"Didn't you just say I had to be less fucking predictable?" You snarled, lifting your foot with most of your weight pointed in the direction of his jaw. Surprisingly, the kick landed just not in the place you wanted it to; instead, Miguel’s arm blocked the blow, much to your annoyance.

"I also said—" All he was doing was using dodging moves on you, swiping your other foot from under you as he held the other one that you kicked up in his arm, resulting in you landing once again flat on your ass. "to lose that fucking attitude."

You had not gone down without a fight, twisting and kicking, trying to wrestle your limbs free by any means. Miguel had almost embarrassingly quickly ceased your squirming, his palm cuffing your arms and pressing hard against your chest as his other hand pressed tightly into your thighs, folding your legs in place under his hips.

The position was interesting, to say the least, but you still had some fight in you, wiggling against his grip with any strength you had left to break free. It was a useless battle, but the man had his grip around you tight as well as an overpowering size difference that blanketed your entire figure like one big rock.

And that's how you caught yourself in another web of misfortune. Your nerves are surging at the feeling of something—him brushing against your calf. Maybe it was all the adrenaline pumping through your veins or the fact that you were practically being manhandled so easily that did another thing to your body, or maybe it was just pure horny instability that your brain couldn't even process the lewd whine that tugged from your throat after the fact that it had happened.

Watching in pure horror as Miguel loomed on top of you, his mouth slightly agape as his chest heaved and his brows pulled together, the embarrassment from his confused, almost offended looking expression hit you fast. Here your body was betraying you once more, this time going absolutely haywire and melting like a stupid pile of putty at the fact that you were being body pressed against some mat with some guy's hard junk pressed into your leg.

You couldn't bear to even look him in the eye anymore, your head tilting to the side, pressing your cheek into the mat, and squeezing your eyes closed, not suddenly envying the spidermen with teleportation powers. "Fucking Christ, can you get off now?"

A beat of silence hovered between the small distance between you two, neither moving nor talking. It was starting to become unbearable how tightly Miguel had folded your legs against him, in the sense that you could already feel his body heat radiating. The close proximity did not help with how unbearably your heart was beating against your chest. "How do you manage after all of that to still have that shameless fucking attitude?"

You stilled at how his voice had managed to cut through your own thick cloud of betraying thoughts as well as the ringing in your eardrums. "Shameless? As if you don't have your dick pressed against me right now."

"By the sounds of it, you don't seem that bothered at all." Miguel taunted, You thought you were bound to die of embarrassment.

Yeah, this is how you went out—by dying from the sheer effect of your own extremely horny though—not some overpowered supervillain with a vendetta against you but Miguel O'Hara and his dick print.

You could already hear the new taunts that he would use against you, "Not even in your fucking dreams." being the only comeback that you could muster, your limbs tingling with slight pins and needles, threatening to go stiff under his unbound grasp.

"Oh, like you wouldn't love to," he sneered, shifting the weight from his hips flat against your thighs. "Probably thinking about me taking off these tight fucking shorts and having my way with you?" Your body reacted first to the accusation, cursing under your breath as you felt your second heartbeat flutter in between your legs.

His lingering stare hadn't helped one bit, and you watched from the sidelines as his eyes raked over your body with interest.

"I bet this was your plan the entire fucking time, huh?" He asked, leaning in as the distance dwindled until you could feel the brush of his breath against your face. "Put on some sweet naive act in front of everyone, knowing that you're getting yourself off on me throwing you around, touching yourself like some bitch in heat."

You hadn't bothered covering the whine that parted from your lips at the feeling of his erection slowly rutting against your thigh, the cocky smirk on his lips wanting you to melt away against the mat.

Miguel practically growled at the pathetic sounds that parted from your lips, tugging your legs apart to rut his hips down against your core. You shivered at the intrusion of his bulge pressed against your eagerness, the foreign feeling of him grinding against you left your thoughts in a dizzy fog.

"What? Can’t fucking speak now," he said as if he were dangling your most prized possession in front of your face, his fingers creeping into dangerous territory, making it a point for his fingertips to drag down your lower torso only to halt right above the elastic waistband of your shorts. "Go on, use your words."

"...fuck you."

The small amount of distance made the space between you two fall tensely thick, and the words spoken from your lips were different from the feelings that made your heart thud against your ribs. You weren't stupid, you knew Miguel could sense it, he could sense just about everything about your body from how close he kneeled on top of you.

Maybe that was why he had closed the distance so quickly after, letting the tight grip around your wrists give way to his hand finding a new objective, wrapping his fingers around your neck, not bothering to be gentle as he guided your lips towards his. The kiss was as rough as you had dreamed it to be. Eager for each other's kiss, you couldn't even process the noise that vibrated sharply from your throat before Miguel could pull away first, leaving you panting for more of his touch.

"First time I've ever seen you so quiet," his deep taunts were starting to grow unbearable, shifting your hips at the brush of his fangs against the jugular of your neck with every word, "who knew all you needed was some dick?" The harsh kisses he left trailing down to your collarbone made you feel like a hot, needy mess of putty. If it weren't for the tight grasp he had on your body, you were convinced that you would feel like you'd melt into some type of puddle. The growing frustration had only started to build up more as Miguel let go of your thighs, his hand trailing between your legs ruthlessly as the bud of his fingers rubbed against your clothed pussy.

As for why you shifted your hips up and let him impatiently tug and yank at the bow knotted around the waist of your shorts, breaking away from the red splotching light bruises already forming against your brown skin and wiggling you out of your shorts, Miguel thought it was quite the image, his eyes were fixated on the drooling sight of you under him, so vulnerable with your thighs hugging to your chest, spread open, revealing yourself in your pants.

All sanity was thrown out the window the moment he tugged you closer by your knees, your lower half lifted in his arms just enough for him to sit face to face with your cunt. His eyes darkened, his pupils blown as his tongue lapped over his lips, leaving you feeling restless. It was a slow and almost painful battle of trying to reach down and shove his face closer or buck your hips as his fingers sheathed and explored themselves against the fabric of your underwear.

As if Miguel could read your mind, his fingers hooked the fabric under the bend of his finger, followed by a quick tearing sound. "I’ll get you new ones," the comfort emitting a whine from your throat as you couldn't even scowl at him for ruining your underwear because you were too busy admiring the work his fingers were doing. Without warning, Miguel leans in closer, the warmth of his mouth almost sending you into a frenzy as his fingers spread open your lips, his lips sucking at your clitoral area, prompting you to let out a very lewd moan.

"Too loud," Miguel mumbled against your pussy, too busy webbed up in your own pleasure to even notice how every embarrassedly sloppy wet noise had seemed to perfectly echo throughout the empty room. You couldn't even explain the number of emotions that were flowing through you, from shame from being tongue fucked and fingered against the floor about the one man you hated so much to bashfulness from holding eye contact with him as he lay between your legs and ate your pussy like he was starving for you.

"I can't help it," you whined, shivering at the string of spit that contacted Miguel as he lifted his head in an idea. It took a second to process Miguel picking you up and turning you on your stomach, his hands guiding your hips up and stripping your torn panties down your legs to stuff them in your mouth.

Without a word, Miguel grabbed your ass with another hand, guiding your lower back into an arch as the other made small indents from his nail bearing into your cheeks as he spread them apart.

Before you could even feel embarrassed at the new position, he shoved his face between them, your moan being muffled by your makeshift cloth gag that worked a bit too well in lowering your whines as Miguel’s mouth sought his tongue out for your pussy once more.

"You're close I can smell it," you almost missed Miguel's groan over your building ecstasy, "just let it go, baby, let me take care of you. That's what you want, right?" His voice is drastically different from his usual rough, rude tone, softened to something of a coo that has managed to unknot your pleasure with his tongue. Your body tensed against his mouth for a moment as he had the nerve to suck his fingers clean. No grace period was given before he could lift you once more with a grunt, laying you flat on your back.

Slotting himself back between his legs, Miguel chuckled at the dazed look on your face. "It's alright, baby, I can take it from here." taking the balled up drool covered panties from your mouth and instead replaced them with his lips. The sensual change of pace wasn't enough to stop the shiver that rid your nerves of the feeling of his bare cock rutting against your slit, using his thumb to spread your lips apart to sink his tip inside of you with a low hiss against your mouth.

A gasp left yours as his girthy length intruded deeper inside of you, the burying stretch of his dick having your nails roughly grasping at the nape neck of his hair tugging a handful as his pace hadn't bothered to even get familiar already. Miguel’s hips weren't letting out as he fucked you almost animalistic against the floor. You were convinced he was trying to fuck you into the mat, to be one with the floor, which would perfectly explain the rough pace that left you breathless with each piston of his hips.

The graphically lewd sounds of your weak groans were nothing compared to the pornographic sound of your skin meeting his, your brain empty with nothing but greed, wanting to take everything and more of what Miguel was giving you. His fingers reach to unwrap your fingers tangled in his hair to intertwine them in his. "That's it, mama, that's it," he whispers against the shell of your ear, earning a whimpering reply from you, almost close to spilling the tears clouding your waterline.

Your mind couldn't process anything other than how good Miguel’s dick felt being shoved inside of you, his cock dragging against your tight, flustering walls with each shaky breath brushed against your ear. Your cunt seemed to react to Miguel’s lashes tickling against your neck as his eyes screwed tightly shut, muttering a string of compliments in his mother tongue.

You weren't lucky enough to be more stable, surprised that your throat hasn't gone horse with how ruined your vocal cords sounded in the pace of his pistoning hips. Only going up an octave higher as one of Miguel’s hands reaches down to pay attention to your clit, he doesn't stop even when your limbs start to tremble from your climax.

With one last hard thrust, he finally stills, your name being the only thing you could make out through his mumbling as his unfamiliar warm sensation welcomed itself inside of you.

Groaning right in your ear, he cums inside of you with his entire dead weight pressed against you, caging you against the floor. "Alright," Miguel sighs, settling on top of you once more with his arms holding himself just a few inches away from your face. "Again."

🔖 @adonis-is-dead-lmaoo @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @inumakiiz @iheartlinds @creamyarishi @marzipaanz

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#[ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ ★ — t.wrks. ]#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara smut #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #spiderman smut #marvel #into the spider verse

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aneurizma · 3 months ago

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Was allowed on the bus and my bass had a free seat next to me, bus was an hour late, everyone seems even more insane today so i am not suprised that there is a full moon, i also still want to jump out of the window but my friend did leave me chocolate in front of the door so at least i have something

Waiting for a bus and stress sweating because my ticket isn't loading a barcode or qr code, if after this whole day i get stuck in Zagreb ici cu da se bacim ravno u Savu pa jebemtimater vise

#vampire complains #literally did not even step on the bus and one guy was complaining about the driver and had to piss 2 minites into the drive #and begged for smoke breaks the whole 6 hours and then complained that we were late FUCK OFF I WONDER WHY #also the ramp was closed because the tunnel only has one line so we had to wait an hour before even getting halfway here #then i step off the bus and BAM 10 tourists asking me where is this where is that does this bus drive here now #like jesus christ guys i am trying to be depressed here in peaceand carry this HEAVY bag that is also FULL OF SUGAR BECAUSE IT RIPPED #almost got hit by 2 bmw drivers and one cyclist lol and both bmw guys were playing thompson to really seal the deal #then came finally showered and now i am just hah what the fuck were these last 2 days #at least i got T injections now so i can worry every 3 months get a shot in the ass and not have to fuck with gel every day #you know i am doing really well when this turns into my own therapy session

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your-nanas-house · 7 months ago

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"Mr. Coleman said that..."

◇ Pairing: stepdad!Austin Butler X stepdaughter!Reader

◇ Warnings: kind of dark, SMUT, sessions, therapy (invented by me, dunno if it exists), pervy, stepdad x stepdaughter dynamic.

◇ Summary: Austin gets bit lost in the feelings that the "bond" therapy gifted him.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. It took me so long, thanks for the kind anon that reminded me what Austin fic I wanted to publish. I think it's the very first Austin fic that I wrote... 🫣. For other fics like this.

A small click and the front door of his attic was open, allowing him to enter and finally drop down the bag he carried all day around... plus the new script.

Austin had been out all day and he honestly felt all those hours on his shoulders other than his mood. He really was tired but happy, since he was about to see his little princess.

As his feet lead him to the open kitchen he could already hear her soft humming, which informed him that she was busy entertain herself with something

"Hi stepdaddy, how was your day?" Her sweet voice beamed after his footsteps popped her little bubble of calm. She didn't look upset or annoyed when seeing him... which was a good thing since they had some issues when her mom left them both.

Issues that with a bit of father and daughter therapy should had quickly disappear... or so the man, who was following the process, had told them the first meeting.

"Bit tiring but... it was good. How about yours? What did you do while I was out?" Austin's low raspy voice asked as his hand removed carefully his AirPods before his coat so that he could focus his attention on her completely.

She was still in her cute pajamas, a silly one that she had begged him to buy her as soon as she finished watching one of the latest movies of his... 'Elvis' 2022. Reason because her pants were of a baby pink filled with pictures of the king, matched by a baggy shirt with the quote 'Keep Calm and Love Elvis Presley'.

"Bit boring, studied a bit... and nothing much, I cleaned the house though" Y/n informed him after taking a big sip of her tea, humming softly when the older man's arms wrapped around her torso.. hugging her close to himself.

"So sweet of you" he murmured in her ear, tickling her with his short beard as his face snuggled in the crock of her neck more so to make her chuckle before pressing his lips against hers for a quick 'hello' kiss.

His head now resting on top of hers calmly.

"Also!.. I need your help" Y/n hummed out, putting down her cup as her heart beat faster in her chest.. butterflies forming in her stomach at her stepdad's cuddles.

She could already feel his chest vibrating softly as he replied with his voice which became even more lower that it used to be due to the time and work.

"With what, kid?" His big hand ruffled her hair playfully while his body moved to rest against the table of the kitchen so that his beautiful eyes could stare at her as she talked.

She really was so cute like that, her hair bit messy because of him and the glasses she put on just when she used her laptop so to protect them. It seemed quite domestic... bit too domestic since his body started to react a bit, aroused by the innocent scenario.

And the cute mad face she made every time he would tease or annoy her, was so cute but also such a strong turn on for him... expecially those pouty pretty lips, now covered by a watermelon lip gloss.

"Do you remember what Mr. Coleman suggested?" Y/n asked casually, glancing at him with the face he grow to know as 'the testing face'; a serious but funny expression that she always used when she wanted to see if he remembered something or if he forgot about it.

"Of what, sweetheart?" Austin replied with her same tone as he put down the script, pouring himself a glass of water before sitting on the counter to look in her direction. She was giving him her back but he could already see the pouty face accompanied by a small snort of disappointment since he didn't remember.

"The bonding exercises, Baba!" She whined out, looking at him while scoffing softly at his amused expression. He really knew her too well.

"Of course I remember, baby" Austin lied as he placed his glass on the surface so he wouldn't look her in the eyes without distractions

"He said at least once a week, two is better though..." she repeated what their therapist said to them some weeks ago, her eyes looking at him lazily bit tired of her lonesome day. Even too tired to notice his stare taking her whole in shamefully.

"You know that I'm always free to spend some quality time with you, baby" he rasped out before clearing his throat and finish his water, his body warming up at the mere view of her cute behaviour.

"That's a lie but anyway... Let's start it, hm" the young woman murmured, pecking back as soon as he leaned down to steal a bit of love while picking her up easily and move them on the sofa in the living room where there was more space.

"What were the exercises again?" Austin asked, his hands rubbing soft circles on her hips while his eyes pierced intensely in hers the whole time she explained to him "The 5 senses exercises to feel more connected. Touch.. with the yoga, hearing.. by listening and talking, taste.. by eating together, and.. view.. the stare".

Those were all topics they had to go through in their therapist's opinion.. a way to bond with each other better and share some quality moments as father... even though he wasn't her real dad, and daughter.

"I remember perfectly now... and what was the last one?" He asked while playing with a lock of her hair, smiling slightly when her index finger pressed against his nose while talking "It's the smell... we have to take in our scent... and that should be all. So!... where do we start?" The young woman beamed, getting up from his lap.

The older man really enjoyed seeing her so full of energy and joy, it was addicting.

"Okay, little one, let's start. You can choose with which one we begin".

Her choose was quickly and he found himself warming slightly up to start the first step. The Touch.. aka Yoga exercises.

Simple but helpful positions they had to do together to feel the struggles and the moving of their bodies.

"Need to change! Mr. Coleman said that we have to be as bare as possible for this one." The young woman reminded the older man from the other room, busy changing into something to start the exercise and have yoga behind so they could relax.

He said that?, Austin questioned in his mind and raised his eyebrows... he really didn't listen so much when that man spoke with them. He clearly needed to stay more focused in the next sessions.

"You need to change as well!" Her sweet voice urged him as she was now standing in front of him in the set of underwear he gifted her that Christmas. Matching bra and panties which colors were identical to her favourite bun that she had used to tie her hair up.

"Sweet baby Jesus above, you are stunning" he commented, holding himself from just cursing in front of her since he scolded her more than once when some bad words left her pretty mouth. It had became a game of theirs just saying some silly things instead of vulgar language.

"It's the set you gave me!" She informed him with a smile, her hands busy fixing her hair happy and warm to start

"I know, little one" the actor murmured while still staring, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

His body was reacting bit too much for his liking and he started to sweat a bit so he decided to get quickly ready and just move his hands to pull off his shirt and threw it away, exposing his built body to the air so that they could begin with the yoga.

Y/n was the first to lead and help, her smaller frame kept doing her best to keep up and help Austin while ending up most of the time just clinging on him like a koala or bouncing to reach his hands.. way too high for her reach.

It was funny, adorable and relaxing... till the sensations changed when he was the one leading the exercise.

"Baba! You have to follow my body" Y/n explained in a whiny playful voice as her young body bent down in front of him, her ass brushing against his crotch and then pressing lovingly when he moved on her, hugging her hips with his strong arms.

Fucking hot, he thought now that his cock overpowered his brain.

His breath became bit heavier while his hands massaged her flesh, he could have stayed like that all day... with his boner pressed between her firm and round ass cheeks still barely covered by those damn panties.

"Ready for the rhythm? Remember sync to let our bodies connect" she parrot what Mr. Coleman told them, making Austin curse internally since he had forgot about the movements... not that he minded though, since his worries disappeared as soon as her ass hit his half-hard dick.

His hips started to follow, taking the lead unconsciously, grinding his clothed cock against her soft flesh shamelessly.

"You got your phone in your pocket, Baba?" Y/n asked after a while, glancing behind to check on him, yelping softly when he moves her head easily by her chin. Making her look back ahead.

"Mhhm... focus, little one. Sync, remember?" Austin rasped out as his hips increased their rhythm, making her loose the balance she had and end up flat against the floor with him on top.

Her heart was beating fast and she couldn't deny that her panties were getting wet by his movements... she wasn't sure it was part of the exercises but who was her to correct her stepdad.

"You're doing so good, baby. So good" his low voice praised, making her maintain the rhythm and match his when his hips increased the tempo as his big hand, which was on her tummy, helped her continue it.

It was starting to get tired, her breath becoming breathless as she heard him grunting next to her ear.

"Austin, I'm not sure this is part of Mr. Coleman's exercises—" Y/n weakly spoke, letting a broken whine escape her mouth when his little finger pressed roughly against her clothed clit

"It's all part of Mr. Coleman's exercises to bond, baby. And call me like he said you should.. don't you want to make the sessions pay off?" Austin murmured huskily, inhaling deeply while lowering quickly his sweatpants and press his bare, rock-hard angry cock against her ass again, pulling the fabric of her panties so that it was stuck between her ass cheeks like his lenght.

"I said call me like Mr. Coleman said, little one" his tone became more stern as his hand spanked her soft flesh making her jolt

"Sorry, daddy! Sorry" she whined out, moving her ass up so to allow him to continue without interruptions... just like a good girl.

It was twisted but felt so good, so... damn good, with the soft skin of his cock caressing her inner thighs as he made sure to keep them closed so that he could fuck them. Hitting her clit with each thrust.

Her stepdad was dry humping her and she was loving it as much as he was... and she could tell that he was enjoying himself pretty much due to all the noises and praises that escaped his lips.

"Such a good girl! Fuck— fuck, fuck. Little one!" His horsed voice growled in her ear as his body shook against hers before something started to wet her thighs and panties. The young woman didn't had time to check before her own orgasm hit her whole and her back arched, a soft curse, which earned her a harsh spank, escaped her innocent sweet mouth.

"Language, baby... now how about we move to the food now, hm?" Austin suggested while massaging her warm flesh, moving his softening cock away from her shaking thighs.

#austin butler fandom #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fic #austin butler smut #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #austin butler fluff #austin butler imagine

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 months ago

Text

On Bended Knee

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: You and Jack go to a series of therapy sessions to talk about your marriage that you honestly feel in the back of your mind is going to lead to the two of you being separated and Jack is desperately trying for it not to happen

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Mentions of postpartum depression, death, and miscarriage

“So, what is bringing us in today?” Fatima, your therapist asked both you and Jack as the two of you were sitting at opposite ends of the couch in front of her.

Jack glanced over at you and you simply had your head resting on your arm as you looked straight ahead so he figured that he needed to be the one to speak first.

“We are at odds like we've never been before and I don't know what else to do. It seems like I take five steps forward and ten steps back when it comes to her. I love my wife and I can't see myself without her.” He quietly said as Fatima smiled at him and nodded. She then turned to you.

“Y/N? Would you agree with that?”

“To a certain extent, yes. But I reached my breaking point a long time ago.”

Hearing that made Jack’s heart drop.

“Tell me more.”

“The man who claims that he's my husband and sitting across from me is someone that I truly no longer recognize as far as some of his actions go. Because the Jack that I know wouldn't do those things in a million years.”

“Such as?”

“Making me feel that my thoughts and feelings are invalid. We've been together since we were fifteen years old, got married at 19, but something switched in 2022 when his fame went to an entire new level. Our relationship has been tested and I don't know if it's even worth saving at this point.”

Jack turned to look at you in disbelief because he couldn't believe that those words came out your mouth.

“Babe…”

“No. You begged me to come to therapy with you so you need to put your big boy pants on even if it's something that you don't want to hear. Because trying to talk to you at home is obviously not working. You asked for this so don't shy away now.” You told Jack as you finally looked at him. All he did was play with his wedding ring and nod before turning back to look at Fatima.

You and Jack had barely been speaking to one another and it seemed as if the arguments over little things were getting more and more frequent. You were sitting in the living room since you had just fed the triplets as Jack came and sat next to you.

You glanced over at him, but didn't speak as you turned back around to look at the TV. This was the first time you were able to have peace and quiet all day and the last thing you wanted was to argue with him again. Because at this point, you knew that the two of you were not on the same page.

“Baby?”

“What?” You said and it came out a little harsher than you intended.

“I don't want to keep fighting with you. We're on the same team.”

“Are we? Hadn't noticed since it doesn't seem like it.”

“Y/N, come on. You know we are.” He told you as he attempted to grab your hand. He was surprised when you didn't move away from him.

“Some of your actions state otherwise.”

“I want to fix this and I know you do too. I signed up for marriage counseling and we meet the therapist on Wednesday. I just…. We need to get on the same page if we want this marriage to last.”

You turned to look at him and simply sighed before crossing your arms over your chest.

“And if this doesn't work, then what?”

“Babe, that isn't an option.”

“And you didn't answer my question, Jackman. Tell me what will happen if it doesn't work?”

“I don't have an answer because I don't plan on that happening. We love each other and we’re going to get through this.”

“I'm not sure that I want to go.” You told him being completely honest.

“Can I ask why?”

“If you can't even listen to me when we're at home, what makes you think it'll be any different in therapy?”

“Y/N, you're shaking your head as Jack is talking. What are you thinking?”

“He remembers that a lot differently than I do. I told him not once, but multiple times that she made me uncomfortable, but he steadily ignored me. So much so that he actually asked her to be in his video for First Class.”

“But, you're in it, are you not?”

“Yes, only because I stopped what I was doing when I saw her post a picture of the both of them on Instagram and she was sitting in his lap. He claimed that she took the pic so fast that he didn't even have time to react. I went to where they were shooting the video and told her to leave and made her delete the picture. Oh, and when I actually did fight her because this had been building up for months with her constantly harassing me, never not once did he ask me if I was okay. Instead he acted mean as hell towards me because the only thing he seemed to be concerned about was our reputation in the public eye and not my actual well-being. We were both at home for a few days after which ended in another argument and him leaving.”

“But you left out the part where you had talked to me the same day that it happened and said absolutely nothing and tried to hide it. I was in a whole different state when I found out and caught a flight to Atlanta to confront you about it because you had stopped answering your phone. There was no need to lie to me about that.”

“Yes there was because I knew you would lose your shit which you did when you came and saw me backstage before my show.”

“Because you could've gotten hurt!”

“Hmm, nice try. I think you meant damage your reputation because those words didn't even come out of your mouth when it happened.”

“Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean that I want any harm to come to you. You're my wife! Why would I want you to put yourself in a situation which could lead to you getting hurt? That's what I was mad about.”

“Wouldn't have had to be in that situation if you would have established boundaries with her from the beginning. I'm your wife. We share a last name. Not her.”

Therapy had been going steady for the first three weeks and Jack simply didn't know how to feel at this point. He wasn't able to read you as of lately and had it in the back of his mind that a divorce would be coming soon and you would be the one to ask for it.

And that made him sick to his stomach.

When you were pregnant, it seems like everything was halted and the two of you put your issues to the side. But as soon as they were born and you had healed from it, everything had come back up to the surface. It also didn't help that Jack knew you were also going through postpartum depression.

It was one in the morning and he had gone for a drive after checking on you as well as the triplets and making sure all of you were okay. He didn't have an exact destination in mind, but he simply pulled out his phone and took a deep breath before dialing his mother’s number. He was absolutely desperate at this point.

Maggie picked up on the third ring and he could tell that she was still wide awake by all of the background noise which he assumed was the TV.

“Hey honey, everything okay?”

“No.”

When Maggie heard how distressed her oldest child sounded she immediately grew concerned.

“What's going on? Are Y/N and the babies okay?”

“They're fine, but umm…” Jack trailed off as he struggled to say his next sentence.

“But what?”

“I honestly think deep down that Y/N is going to divorce me and I… can't live without her. I haven't had to do it in so long that I wouldn't even know where to start. She's the love of my life and the mother of my kids. I can't lose her.”

“What exactly makes you think that she will?”

“We're going to therapy but there's such a huge disconnect that I don't think we'll be able to fix. She didn't have high expectations going into it so…”

“Can I be honest?” Maggie asked and took a deep breath after doing so. However, Jack had a strong feeling that he already knew what she was about to say.

“You saw this coming, didn't you?” Jack asked as he turned onto Bardstown and was casually driving throughout the city.

“Yes from a mile away. I don't know what exactly happened, but 2022 was the start of the rift being made in your relationship with each other. And I've pulled you aside a few times and warned you that how you were acting wasn't a good portrayal of the person I raised you to be or the husband that I know you are towards Y/N. That girl basically worships the ground you walk on and you used to do the same thing. The fame got to you and you were starting to achieve your goals and she was supportive of you. You didn't give her the same support in return and now look where you two are.”

“What do I do to fix this? I need her to forgive me.”

“Then you need to remind her of how much you love and care about her. Because your actions haven't reflected that you do.”

“And what if that doesn't work?”

“Then you'll be signing divorce papers.”

“Definitely can't forget how he thought I was cheating on him and he actually followed me to see what I was doing.”

“I apologized for that. I was paranoid. I had been gone a lot and missed you.”

“What did Y/N do to make you think that she was cheating?” Fatima asked Jack as he once again started to play with his wedding ring.

“Not spending time with me like she said she would when I finally got back home and she would lie about where she was going so I followed her.”

“And what came of that?”

“She was planning a surprise party for me because First Class had done so well. And she then explained who every single person was that she had met up with. She was just trying to keep it a secret as best as she could. But the day of the party unbeknownst to me of course, I confronted her about it and the look she gave me was utter disbelief and I then knew that I had fucked up. She did show up eventually to the party and then went on her festival run and left that same night.”

“Y/N, is that how you remember it?”

“Yes, I just couldn't fathom that he thought that I would ever want to do something to hurt our marriage. I haven't looked another man's way since we started dating and I still don't. He's everything that I ever wanted and more so what would be the point of that? It just really hurt me. I have this man's name tattooed on my body for everyone to see so why would I do that?”

“I can tell by the way you're talking about it that it still hurts you.”

“It does and the thing is that I am always putting everyone else's needs before my own. I have a big heart and that has always been the case. But I feel that Jack used that to his advantage.”

“How so?”

“If he called and said that he needed me, everything else would be forgotten at that moment. It doesn't matter anymore and we can go back to it once I go and make sure he’s okay. It didn't matter that I was trying to establish a career of my own. If my baby needed me, nothing was going to stop me from getting to him. It didn't matter how big or small the issue was and he knew that.”

“Hmm, Jack, what are your thoughts on that?”

“Now that she said it out loud, I can admit to taking advantage of her as horrible as that sounds. I never want to do that to my wife. I would call her because I know that out of anyone at the end of the day she has my back and my best interest. However, I also should have taken into consideration what she was trying to do for her career at that time because I was the one who pushed her to do it and make a name for herself.”

“And I still put people's needs before my own. It's something that I have to learn to stop doing. That also takes me back to the whole Anitta thing.”

“What about her?”

“She threatened to release a portion of our sex tape in May and Jack didn't even tell me until December. That's when I called off the wedding, when I found out he lied to me.”

“Jack, why didn't you tell her?”

“I thought I could handle it on my own and simply make it go away. I wanted to shield her from that since a lot had happened between the two of them already. Not the smartest choice since it led to us not doing our big wedding for our five year anniversary.”

“And then I went on tour and found out I was pregnant…. With triplets.”

“And told me in a text message because we really weren't talking during that time.”

Urban glanced at you as you were feeding Autumn and called your name to get your attention. He had come over to check on you because you hadn't been acting like yourself and wanted to see if there was anything that he could do to make it better.

“Lil Bit.”

“Yes?” You answered as you looked up at him.

“Are you and Jack okay?”

“Depends on what your definition of okay is.”

“I… the two of you just seem sad and out of it lately.” Seeing his best friends’ marriage crumble before his eyes was not on this year's bingo card.

“Well we started going to therapy and Jack practically had to beg me to go. I don't know, Urban. I love him and we all know that's true. But the question is if our marriage is worth saving at this point?”

“Only the two of you are going to be able to answer that question at this point. I can't answer that for either of you. But I know that Jack loves you all the same and that he's doing everything he can to show you that he deserves another chance to get this right. He doesn't want to lose you.” Urban told you as you simply nodded and adjusted Autumn in your arms.

“My thing is that it should have never come to this.”

“I agree, but what's done is done and the only thing that the two of you can do is move forward. The triplets deserve to see a happy marriage between their parents and know what real love looks like.”

As soon as those words left Urban's mouth, it got you thinking that maybe he was right. You honestly couldn't see yourself with anyone except him despite all the two of you had gone through that year.

“But so much has happened and I… just don't know anymore.”

“You know that you love him. I know that loving someone isn't the only thing you need in order to make it work but it's a good start.”

“As the two of you sit in front of me, I've heard the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to your marriage, but I know one thing for certain. The two of you undeniably love each other despite everything that has happened. Yes, there were hardships and plenty of ups and downs, but Y/N, every time you even talk Jack lights up and looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. Usually in this room, it ends up being the complete opposite because by the time that couples get to me they are too far gone.”

She glanced at both of you and it looked as if you wanted to say something.

“Y/N? What's on your mind?”

“Um, I was just thinking that because of everything that happened, I wanted to separate from him for a while.”

Jack didn't dare let you see it, but tears had pricked his eyes.

“But, I have decided not to. If he's doing all of this and trying to put the effort in then I guess I can give him another chance. Because when I had suggested going to therapy and doing things to hopefully help us repair the relationship, he just waved me off. I feel as though this was too little too late but…”

“Y/N, it wasn’t too late because the two of you are sitting in front of me. That goes to show me despite it all, deep down you still had hope for your marriage too.”

“I have three kids to think about.”

“No, that's not it. Even though they deserve to see what love and happiness looks like, you also deserve the same thing. Jack, how does that make you feel hearing that Y/N wanted to separate from you?”

“It hurts. I've been in love with her since I first laid eyes on her. I know I've messed up and I can understand why she feels that way. I wasn't treating her how she deserved to be treated and it shouldn't have taken me almost losing her to realize that. She died in front of me not once, but twice. But I had already made it up in my mind that if I became a widow, there was no way in hell that I was marrying someone else.”

“And I'm not totally innocent either, but at one point I was damn near walking on eggshells and I shouldn't have to do that in my marriage. And you could have married someone else. I would not want you to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

“No, because I would always compare her to you and when it comes to you, no one comes close.” Jack said as he turned to you and took your hand in his.

“Besides, I was also scared that you were probably going to haunt me if I did.” He told you and a small smile broke out on your face.

“So with that being said, I have homework for the two of you. If you want to start to repair this marriage and make it work, start dating each other again. It seems like ever since the triplets have been born that the two of you actually haven't spent time with each other with just the two of you. Let me know how this goes and I honestly can't wait to hear about it.”

The night was winding down at the Kentucky State Fair as you and Jack were sharing a funnel cake piled high with powdered sugar and strawberries. The two of you rode so many different things and decided that it was time for food before it was closing time. A few people had asked you and Jack for pictures, but for the most part they were keeping their distance and you almost felt normal. You guess it was the fact that they saw the two of you out and about so often.

As the two of you were eating, you looked at Jack and giggled, noticing that he had powdered sugar on his nose.

“What? Why are you laughing at me?” He asked as he pinched your cheek.

“You have powdered sugar on your nose.” You told him as you wiped it off and then kissed the tip of it making him smile.

“Did you want anything else before we leave?” He asked and your eyes lit up as you looked towards the pigs that were across from the two of you. Jack followed your gaze and his eyes went wide.

“Baby, NO.”

“But….”

“I meant food wise! We have two pigs already! And the ones over there are huge! They're bigger than me!”

“Exaggerating much? Can't I just look!? Piggy Smalls and Pork Chop need a sibling.”

“They have one in the house already as in the bacon I ate this morning.” Jack replied as he began laughing.

“JACKMAN!”

“You can look from here. Now didn't you say you wanted fried oreos?”

“Yes, but you're forgetting something.”

“What's that babe?” He asked as he fed you the last of the funnel cake and made sure to get all of the powdered sugar off of your face.

“You haven't won me a stuffed animal yet.”

“Let’s do it then. Which stuffed animal do you want?”

“The pig since you won't let me buy another one.”

“The two of you are smiling, so I take that as a good sign.” Fatima said as she looked at you and Jack and she that the two of you were basically sitting on top of each other and nodded.

“So, the dates went well?”

“Yes, we went bowling, he took me to the state fair, and we went to Vincezo's. We also had a cooking date where we made pasta from scratch. Surprised that Jack lived to tell the tale after that one.”

“HEY! I thought I did pretty good!”

“I mean it did end up being edible so I guess.” You told him as you laughed and he scrunched up his nose.

“We've come a long way. The two of you came to me about six months ago and Y/N was ready to call it quits. And now look at the two of you. Communicating how you should and taking the time out for each other. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you two and your well being gets put on the back burner. As of now, we can continue these sessions if the two of you want, but I truly don't see a need.”

“Oh, there was another thing.” Jack started to say and Fatima looked at him to continue.

“I played her ‘Down on Bended Knee’ because I feel that it summed up the point that we were at in our relationship. I was desperate and willing to do anything for her to forgive me and make her see that she is still the only person that I want to do life with.

“That’s an amazing song choice. I know you were at a loss. Dealing with her dying in front of you, the birth of the triplets and the possibility of losing your only son, the miscarriage, Y/N working her way through postpartum depression and that isn't even all of it. But the two of you pushed through all of it with the undying love that you share between each other and I'm so proud of the both of you.”

“Now, I feel like I can finally get the big wedding that I always wanted.” You said confidently as you twirled your wedding ring around your finger not knowing that Jack had already started planning it in the back of his mind.

Jack noticed how you were looking at him as the two of you were laughing on your first date night in a while since the two of you had been so busy with everything going on around you. The triplets were with Urban and the two of you had finally finished going to marriage counseling, however, Fatima told the two of you to reach out whenever you needed her no matter how big or small.

The two of you were still seeing your regular therapists and it was helping you communicate better with one another to set up to have a positive household environment for the triplets.

“Why are you looking at me like that baby girl?” Jack asked as he stole a sip of your iced tea and then slid it back across the table.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy.” You said while smiling back at him.

“Why, is it because I rearranged your guts this morning or? I mean I can do it again once we leave here too, it’s not a problem. Just say the word.”

“Jackman! Shut up!” You responded and continued to laugh.

“What? I was just asking.” Jack said as he shrugged.

“You want me to be honest?” You said while starting to play with the fabric at the bottom of your dress.

“Of course I want you to be honest with me. That’s all I ever want.”

“I’m trying to think of the best way to describe it.”

“Take your time, sweetheart. We have all night.”

“Loving you feels lighter.”

“What do you mean?” Jack asked as he was trying to understand what you were saying.

“I just feel that before with all that we were going through, I felt a heaviness I guess I should say. Every day I woke up not knowing if our marriage was going to survive and I hated having that feeling. I wanted for us to be okay again.”

“And now we finally are. And I’m thankful that you gave us another chance.”

“I mean you got me fucked up if you thought you were getting rid of me that easily. Been together since we were fifteen and love like that doesn’t go away overnight.”

“I never want to get rid of you, you know me better than that. If anything, my love for you continues to grow every single day. It doesn’t matter if we have a bad day or not. It’s just knowing that I have you by my side makes it all worth it because I know we’ll do anything for each other and make sure that the other is okay. No matter how big or small the issues might be.”

“Okay that will be the second time you made me cry today.” You said as you could feel the tears in the corners of your eyes.

“Don’t cry, baby! I’m just being honest. I honestly don’t think there’s enough words in any language on earth that can describe how much I love you and care about you."

"Yep, now I'm crying." You said through your tears and Jack immediately grabbed your left hand to kiss the back of it as he played with your wedding ring.

"Putting this ring on your finger was the best thing I've ever done and you have my heart. Always."

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #Spotify

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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 7 months ago

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nsfw alphabet with leon

A is for aftercare - Leon’s the type to carry you to the bathroom - he insists on not getting a UTI! Also, if you’re wearing makeup, he’ll take it off for you because he knows how much of a chore it can be, but he also knows how much you hate the way it stains your pillowcase.

B is for body part - He cares a lot about his own hands - he always makes sure that his fingernails are clean and trimmed (he’s been known to get a mani-pedi once in a while). This is especially important for a guy who really enjoys fingering you. On your body, this man will go insane for pussy. Truly addicted.

C is for cum - He’s a pretty cautious person so he would be wary of cumming inside you. However, he loves the feeling so much, so he might do it on occasion (maybe birthday sex?) or if you’re trying for a baby. His breeding kink is in a secret compartment of his mind that can be unlocked. You could joke about trying for a baby and you’d both notice that he got a little too into it, and then he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about getting you pregnant.

D is for dirty secret - He’s thought about getting cucked by Chris before… and it doesn’t sound too bad to him… basically, he wants to watch his friend fuck you.

E is for experience - He has a decent amount of experience. We know he’s had at least one sexual encounter with Ada (and I imagine it to have happened multiple times). But, there’s also been some tension with Claire, so I think they could’ve gotten it on, too. (We’re not even going to talk about how real Chreon is because I would write an essay.) I feel like in his younger years, he was probably getting around. We know he had a girlfriend prior to Raccoon City, but after her and Ada both broke his heart, I think he might’ve had a rebound period where he was getting around. (which I think died down when he got a little too deep in the bottle)

F is for favorite position - He likes to be as close to you as possible. Face-to-face or from behind, it doesn’t matter, but I specifically imagine him enjoying having you on your stomach, with a pillow under your hips, and then him on top of you - that way, he could kiss your shoulders and the nape of your neck while he whispers things in your ear (I don’t think he’d say anything too dirty, but I think he’d tell you how gorgeous you look and how good you feel - you’d also get to hear his pretty moans)

G is for goofy (serious or silly during sex)- I think he’ll occasionally crack a joke - he can’t help it, the one-liners are in his nature. Otherwise, I think he’d be too caught up in the moment to joke around.

H is for hair - I would imagine that he gets hairier as he ages, so when he’s younger it might be a smaller patch of hair (also lighter in color), but I think he would heavily trim or shave regardless.

I is for intimacy - Post Raccoon City, he tends to put up walls and is wary of being vulnerable. While I do think he would engage in casual sex (think: asking Shemei out), I don’t think he would be comfortable with full intimacy. But, once you can break past his walls (and once he goes to therapy), he becomes a lot more intimate as he naturally starts to trust you.

J is for jack off - Rookie Leon was jerking off in the RPD bathroom because he saw a random woman who looked hot, like, everyday. But, Damnation/Vendetta Leon can’t even get his dick up.

K is for kink - He loves being edged - and not just in short sessions – you could edge him periodically for days and not let him cum until you say so. He’d be a begging, crying mess (would literally offer to quit his job or buy you anything you want if you let him cum), but he loves the feeling of you being in control and the intense pleasure when you let him cum. You could let him cum in your hand (or even his own) but if you let him cum inside you - first, he wouldn’t last more than 30 seconds, but second, he’d be thanking you mid-orgasm.

L is for location - When he’s younger, I think he’d be somewhat more adventurous because he thinks it’s more convenient and less of a hassle to take someone home with him, so if there’s another option, he’ll take it.

M is for motivation - Rookie Leon would see a MILF walk into the RPD to make a report and he’d get so hard he wouldn’t be able to pay attention, but DI Leon doesn’t get aroused by random people, but would be super turned on when you flirt with him (presuming you’re his s/o). It’d be easy to turn him on if you tried, basically.

N is for no (what he wouldn't do in bed) - He will not let you choke him because it brings back trauma. Also, no weapons.

O is for oral - GIVER. This man will get on his knees and shamelessly beg to eat you out. That is the one thing that does not change with age. Obviously, his experience coupled with enthusiasm makes him phenomenal at it.

P is for pace - It depends. If you’re in a relationship with him and he wants to “make love to you” (I feel like he’d call it that half-jokingly), then he’d want to do it at a slower pace, but if he’s not having “intimate” sex, maybe a one-night stand, he might enjoy a faster pace. Also, if he were pent up with frustration, he’d want to fuck you faster and harder.

Q is for quickie - Sometimes he enjoys them. As he gets older, he’s more wary of having sex in places where he could get caught, so if you pulled him into a supply closet and got on your knees, he’d make it quick. Luckily he’s easy to please.

R is for risk - He wouldn’t do anything physically dangerous, though he seems strong and agile so he could probably do some pretty complex sex positions. Even if you’re not physically flexible (me), he would be able to put you in impressive positions where he’s taking on the hard part. Ex. he could hold you with your legs wrapped around his hips and bounce you up and down while you just cling to him - think about his arms in RE4R or DI.

S is for stamina - RE2R Leon lasts approximately 2 minutes at most (but it’s adorable). I can imagine him cumming from almost no stimulation, like, you just play with him while he’s still got his underwear on, and you can already see a wet spot forming in the fabric. However, his refractory period is probably also 2 minutes, so by the time he pulls himself together post-orgasm, he’s hard again. As Leon gets older he probably gets old man back problems and shit so he can’t keep fucking you forever, but he lasts a lot longer - he makes sure you cum first.

T is for toys - I don’t know that he’d buy any on his own, but if you wanted to bring some into the bedroom he’d be into that. In particular, if you wanted to peg him, you could buy a strap-on and he’d be into that. He’d get very flustered about it at first, but he’d look so cute. Pegging Leon would solve his problems is all I’m saying.

U is for unfair (how much does he tease?)- He doesn’t think he’s a tease, but he is. It’s just that he is obsessed with eating you out, so it doesn’t matter if you’ve already cum, he’s enjoying himself too much to stop voluntarily.

V is for volume - He can hold back his moans if he needs to - I can imagine him fucking you from behind and biting onto your shoulder to shut himself up. However, if you’re fucking him and he’s not the one in control, once you hit that sweet spot inside he’ll let out the most pornographic moan. (if you fuck him and jerk him off at the same time, he’ll cum quickly and will cry when he does).

W is for wild card (random headcanon) - He loves having his hair pulled especially when he’s going down on you. He also loves the feeling of you dragging your nails down his back when things are getting rough. He knows it means he’s fucked you to the point that you’re not thinking straight and you’re just trying to find something to grab onto.

X is for x ray (what's he packin') - It’s average-sized, but pretty. You could tie a bow around that thing because it’s a gift. He’s probably circumcised because he’s American.

Y is for yearning - He tries to keep his personal life in the back of his mind on missions but once he’s in love, he can’t help thinking about you. He carries a polaroid of you when he travels so even if his phone doesn’t work, he can jerk off to you.

Z is for zzz - Leon who hasn’t dealt with his trauma properly probably deals with a lot of nightmares, so he struggles to sleep but DI Leon is the type of guy to fall asleep on the couch with his arms crossed while he’s watching TV, so you bet your ass he’d pass out after a good orgasm.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader

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klausinamarink · 9 months ago

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He Want Kiss

rating: G | cw: none | wc: 630 | tags: post s4, getting together, first kiss, Steve is down bad | prompt: Love is when you look at his lips for half the conversation because you can’t stop thinking about kissing him

written for @steddielovemonth

Steve is obsessed with Eddie’s lips.

Like completely to the point that he might actually start going to therapy.

But Steve is just a simple man. He sees a pair of well-rounded lips that can make a perfect smile with dimples and he’s a goner. For example, look at Eddie. They’re so plump looking that Steve cannot believe it’s legal. And the way they move whenever Eddie speaks-

“-ink I should go for this one?”

Steve snaps his gaze up, barely surviving from the combination of head whiplash and the pointed attack of Eddie’s eyes, Jesus Christ, look at them Bambi eyes.

“Oh yeah, man.” How Steve manages not to stutter is both a mystery and a blessing.

“Yeah?” Eddie looks at him, his expression mixed with expectation and nervousness.

“Yeah.” Steve repeats confidently. He’s already forgetting what exactly they were talking about but he knows it has to do with Eddie trying to get a job, hence why he called Steve over to help him out with the few applications that believe in Eddie’s innocence. “Like, yeah, go for that.”

Christ, he might as well bash his head again. Steve really doesn’t want to come off as a douche again, but it’s not his fault that Eddie’s lips are just right there. They’re just begging to be kissed.

Thankfully, Eddie seems pleased by his answer. He smiles, dimples and all - oh lord please have mercy on Steve’s soul because he cannot handle the adorableness any longer - as he says, “Well, if Steve Harrington says so, then I will do it.” Then Eddie starts biting his lip, glancing down at the resume they’ve polished together.

Steve digs his fingernails through the jeans over his thighs, but it’s not enough to bat away the growing temptation to reach forward and brush his fingers over Eddie so the other man wouldn’t abuse his lips anymore. The skin had already been cracked and bleeding in the past few months and it’s always so devastating to see Eddie hurt a part of himself like this.

Actually, now that he’s thinking about it, Steve should kiss him.

Eddie is right there. While there will be lots of opportunities to have him at Steve’s side, there’ll never be another perfect chance like this.

Steve leans forward a bit but stops himself. Has Eddie ever been kissed before? If he did, does he like the faint touch of lips brushing together? Like smashed together? Full-on make-out sessions that lead to something more passionate?

Okay, Steve could work on the slow route. He’s done it before with his previous girlfriends. He could lean in at a snail’s pace so Eddie has enough time to register what’s happening and-

“Steve?”

Suddenly, Eddie’s face is much closer than Steve remembers. He feels a heat of breath against his lips. Then the rush of realization comes over Steve because he was about to kiss Eddie.

Yet despite this, Steve barely feels a sense of embarrassment. He stays in place, staring into Eddie’s wide eyes as they flicker over his face, lingering on Steve’s lips every few seconds.

Finally, Eddie huffs out a nervous little laugh, “You, uh, listened to what I just said?”

“Hm-mm.” Steve shakes his head. He feels like he’s on cloud nine and whatever Eddie does next, he’s going to scream at the heavens anyway.

Eddie’s lips form the briefest of smirks, but it’s gone in a blink. They part open slightly.

Steve can’t hold it anymore. He closes the space between them and meets Eddie’s lips at last. It’s more rough and desperate than he plans it to be and tries to dial it back. But when Eddie kisses him with a similar force, Steve goes screw it and kisses back like it’s their last chance.

#klaus writes #steddie #steddielovemonth

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intoanotherworld23 · 1 year ago

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Pedro Pascal

Updated 10/26/24

One shots:

Worth The Risk: You have to try and stay quiet for Joel even when your life is on the line

Supposed To Be Like This : The only rule was to never catch any feelings for one another, but both of you break that rule

Blissful Therapy Session : This is a session with your therapist that you will never forget

The Best Lesson : Javier Pena is your teacher and you quickly become his favorite student

Let’s Go For A Ride : Javier loves the way you look in your dress, and his car is the perfect place to show you just how much

Fighting Fire With Fire : Wanting to give them a taste of their own medicine you have the bright idea to ignore Javier and Steve all day, but it ends with you getting punished

Stairway To Heaven : There’s a reason stairs are better for you, and Javier proves exactly why

Having Dessert First : Ellie comes knocking on the door, but Joel currently has you on top of a desk, and he doesn’t plan on stopping

Magic Cock Ride : Stumbling across an abandoned car you and Joel decide to have a little fun in it

Wrapped Around My Throat : Joel wants to try some new things in the bedroom with you, and he unlocks the wild animal tearing at the cage

Better Things To Do : Joel was supposed to go hunting with Tommy that day, but he found something much better to do instead

It’s About Time : With a little push from Ellie in the hot summer day, Joel finally decides to go after what he wants

Working Me Over : All work and no play makes Joel a very dull boy, and does he really want to play with you in his office

Things We’ve Missed : There’s a lot of things you and Joel miss the taste of, and something Joel misses the taste of is between your legs

Proving Them Wrong : Javier is told something that really upsets him, and so he decides to prove this person wrong by using their desk with you on top of it

At His Mercy : Joel decides to teach you a hard lesson when he overhears a conversation between you and his brother

Favorite Movie : Joel Millers away and you find your favorite movie to watch

Glad I Came : Reluctantly you decide to go to this party you are invited to where you meet the infamous Joel Miller, and the two of you hit things off really well, and he ends up taking you back to his place

Dirty Little Secret : Joel Miller owns his own company and is your boss and you’re his personal assistant. He’s the most incredibly handsome man you’ve ever met but unfortunately he’s married. Then one night he unexpectedly comes knocking on your door

Play Time For Us : Joel wants to spice things up and try something new with you in the bedroom, and the two of you have an opportunity to play around

Ridin Dirty : Joel had decided to take you for the ride of your life, but the only thing is the two of you don’t even leave the parking lot

Tied Up At The Moment : Joel has got you all tied up at the moment, and he’s got you right where he wants you

If The Closets Bumpin : Joel thought it would be a good idea to sneak you off into a closet at some boutique

Guard My Body : Joel is hired by your father to be your personal body guard, and he plans on doing more than just guarding your body

Hungry Hungry Joel : Joel is incredibly hungry and the only thing he wants to devour is you, and you look absolutely delicious

Do Not Disturb : Joel can’t keep his hands off of you even in a dressing room, and doesn’t like to be disturbed

Good And Bad : You just want to be a good girl for Joel, but you can’t help but wanting to be bad at the same time

Caught And Taught : Joel catches you touching yourself while watching porn, and he decides that he’ll play along too

Peaches And Cream : Joel loves the taste of you, and you love being his favorite dessert

Wanna Feel The Heat : your fathers always told you if you play with fire you’ll get burned, and with Joel you didn’t listen

Slow And Steady Wins : Joel loves to take his time and enjoy all of you until you’re begging for more

Worth A Thousand Words : you want to see what Joel’s point of view looks like, and he takes some pictures for you

Running With The Devil : you never thought you’d ever spend a night with the king of hell himself

Hold Me Down : Joel has got you in his favorite place, cuffed to his bed

Light My Skin On Fire : you absolutely loved when Joel would put his hands on you

In The Middle : Javier decides to let Steve join in

All Fogged Up : Joel hates being the jealous type, but he sure does love the fun part that comes after it

What We Both Wanted : Joel has had his eyes on you long before he even filed for divorce from his wife, and when the opportunity comes he isn’t holding back anymore

Got A Dirty Mouth : Joel has been testing out the sturdiness of his desk with you laid across it

Lust In The Night : You pay for an escort by the name of Joel for the night, and it was definitely worth every cent

Minor Interruptions : Joel always tries to make time for his favorite girl, even if he is running his own mafia

Series:

Deep Water : Drowning your sorrows in another bar since the mysterious murder of your family, your luck seems to run out that night when you witness a horrific murder done by the most ruthless mob in the city known as The Frontiers

The Escort : Pedro Pascal is one of the worlds most famous actors, and he’s going on tour to promote his new movie, but he’s got a bit of a bad boy reputation, and to make sure he stays out of trouble that’s when you are hired

His Behind The Camera : It’s a life that you never thought you’d have, but you’re desperate and you need the money. That’s how you get into the adult film industry, and your first movie is with the devastatingly handsome Joel Miller

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal masterlist #pedro pascal series

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multiwreckedmess · 18 days ago

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Kinktober Day 23

Prompt: Bondage Pairing: dom!rigger!Hyunjin x fem!sub!reader WC: 2k Summary: The contract exists for both of your comfort and safety. Sometimes that really fucking sucks. This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Hyunjin or any Stray Kids member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. I feel the need especially with “rougher” prompts like this to put the disclaimer - fanfic should NOT ever be used as a guide to relationships or sex. ESPECIALLY SEX. Again, it’s fiction. Stuff gets glossed over for the sake of a good story. Please PLEASE please again, not fact, not a guide, just a fantasy.

Additional TW/CW below the cut.

CW/TW: traffic light system, scene is stopped(red is used), subspace, shibari as therapy, vague contract mentions, dry humping, taking photos in compromising positions, dirty talk, a lot of build up for not much pay off ya’ll.

I tried to do my best with showing a scene where a safety word is used and the scene stops because I feel like we don’t really see a ton of that in smut.

The rope is purple and silky. You usually used red, it was what you’d seen most online but Hyunjin insisted on purple this time. It would go better against your complexion, he said. Just looking down over your intricately knotted body, you could tell he was right after all. He smirks as you look over your shoulder to make eye contact with him. “You trust me enough to tie you up in all sorts of positions but don’t trust my eye for color.” “I’m just used to the classics.” “Was I wrong?” He circles you, eyes tracing the latticework of your chest harness. “No, no but-” Hyunjin casually interrupts you, “then if you’re satisfied so far get onto the bed and we’ll do the hips and legs.” He’s not obviously dominant. Not especially tall or loud or strong. His confidence carries off his tone in such a way that you find yourself sitting into the mattress without a second thought. “You’re being so good for me today.” He quips, carefully folding your leg up to bind your calf to your thigh. Two fingers slip underneath the rope as he carefully loops and wraps the full way down, his fingers are cooler than your thighs. The methodical and meticulous manner he does each knot is calming. Or maybe it’s the hard hug of the chest harness dulling your nervous system. Hawkish as he looks over his work. You squirm, “your breath tickles,” you offer as an excuse. In reality your heart is thumping suddenly, irrationally. You don’t trust many people but you trust him. Focusing on the way the ropes tighten across you as you breathe, you count in your head. Hyunjin’s hand touches your shoulder. Your eyes flutter open, you didn’t even realize they were closed. “Color?” “Green,” a whisper in your heart says yellow. It’s not the ropes that have you nervous. It’s not the restraints. The restraints are the only thing keeping you grounded. Don’t fall for your platonic rigger, you begged yourself. Don’t fuck this up. He doesn’t like you like that, it’s his job, his hobby. “You’re not as talkative today. Is it okay?” You try a hand wavy easy answer. “It’s been a week. I’ve been looking forward to this.” Short and uncomplicated and complimentary. “Mhm, good to know our sessions are helpful for you too.” Hyunjin’s gaze flicks back to the ropes. Sliding two fingers and slightly realigning one of the bars of rope, generally fussing where none needed to happen. “I like these two ties for a couple reasons. Obviously both are aesthetically pleasing.” Hyunjin slides his hands under two of the thicker knots at the center of your chest and tugs you forward, legs spreading wide and nose almost to the belt of his pants. Your mouth drops, mind slipping into a haze. “The second reason is both are incredibly practical for positioning. I could teach you them if you want. Both you could self-tie.” Hyunjin continues to smile down at you seemingly oblivious to the mess he’s made. You shake your head no, unwilling to use the brainpower to respond with words. “It must've been a rough week, I don’t think I’ve seen you slip like this before.” Hyunjin’s hand cups your chin as you lay weight into his palm. You float, eyes glazed, kept safe in his warm grasp. Safe was a term you used so infrequently and yet tied up at the mercy of this man you felt it fully. A man you only really knew in this context and nothing more, only a life within the directives of your agreement. But you like the way he makes you feel small and precious, like a piece of art to behold. Stepping back to admire his work, your chin drops. You miss the warmth. “Really my best work yet I think. The purple…” he tsks lightly. “And to think you were fighting me on the purple.” Eyes raking your body you feel it, the swell of your mound, the wanting deepening in your core. “Do you mind if I take a picture? I promise it won’t have your face in it.”

Not a part of the contract. Tongue numb and heavy in your mouth you nod. The thought flits across your mind, “I’d do anything for you to keep looking at me like that.” Hyunjin’s hand cards through your hair, gently pulling your head back with it. “Even though your face isn’t in the photos I’d love to see the column of your neck just like that. Makes the line of your body look just lovely.” It’d look even better with your cock in it. Heat creeps up the shell of your ears. He looks at you longer than you expect, his hand lingers just a little longer than feels necessary. Although what, of any of this, is necessary? You feel yourself going a little crazy as your ignored cunt throbs. “Are we comfortable?” Hyunjin finally turns from you, the zipper of his tool kit jangling as he assembles his camera. You don’t respond, still posed perfectly as he’d set you. His eyes travel to your hands, still long and loose, no tapping which he’s trained himself to notice when you’re like this. Finger wiggles meant uncomfortable, two distinct taps meant stop. It had developed naturally. Squatting next to you a few feet away the shutter clicks. You inhale sharply. “That’s it, let me see how the rope holds you,” he encourages you as your hips tilt and your binding presses into your skin. Not so secretly you pray for some of the pressure in your gut to release, your cunt pulsing and starting to leak. A small frustrated whine sits in the back of your throat. “That’s my girl, you’re sitting so lovely for me,” his praises continue in the flurry of clicks. “Move your body really slowly for me, focus on the drag of the cables. Really focus on slowly letting them dig into you.” As you slowly shift around you follow his instructions, feeling how tilting one way or the other will tug and slacken opposite sides. The sturdiness of his knots never feel constrictive, instead like a silken steel frame to hold you up. Like an armor almost. You barely notice the clicking has ceased and the only sound in the room is that of your small whines and his reedy breathing.

Hyunjin knows he needs to focus. For both of you. You, who is so fragile in his hands. So willing to give in where he knows it’s hardest for you. Yet here he is, palms sweating like a schoolboy, mouth cottony dry. “I have an idea for another shot if you’re willing.” You look at him with cloudy lusty eyes, nodding almost innocently as you slowly hump the air. He could take you so easily like this. “Before you agree you should hear what it is,” he tsks. As much as it sounds like he’s only scolding you, most of the judgment is internal. “I need to slot my leg between yours. Your mouth, chest, and thighs will be visible. And of course, my pants.” You nod with a whine. Hyunjin’s stomach drops as he approaches you and slides his leg close. He’s used to being close to you. He’s used to being close to you when you are deep in subspace. Even when you don’t know how wet and glistening your thighs have become he’s never had this issue. He’s almost glad for the constriction of his pants, unyielding fabric forcing his cock to his body. The camera lens between you works like a shield, separating himself from the scene. “I bet you’d look good grinding on my shoe.” You moan, head tilting back as you hips move forward, threatening to breach the contract. He gasps as the shutter clicks, both your bodies arcing together into an ambiguous darkness. Hyunjin hadn’t meant to say it out loud. “You like that, don’t you?” He asks tentatively. This isn’t exactly against the contract but it certainly is a new territory. “Want me to tell you more about how beautiful you look?” You moan again, collarbone broadening as your chest heaves. “Whoever gets to cum on those lips of yours is blessed,” his hand reaches forward, forgetting his place for a moment. “They’re already so perfectly glossy just with your spit. I bet they’re soft and warm too.” Your tongue presses into your lower lip, tip flexing to leave a small inviting reservoir that you hope he takes advantage of. Every muscle is practically screaming and begging for him to cave into your unvoiced desires. Your forehead wrinkles as your brows furrow, wishing for a sudden telepathic link to tell him everything you need. Hyunjin’s knuckles are white as he grips his camera. The heat of your body is so close to him. It would be so easy for him to take advantage of his. His heart seizes as his cock throbs. Pliant and needy and trusting and right there in his grasp. Neither of you are sure who closes the gap but the second you touch it feels like wires shorting. Every neuron in both of your bodies fizzles and spits. Sparking and burning as you inhale ecstatically and Hyunjin recoils. “Red,” Hyunjin says, almost breathless. Pacing back to his bag of tools to set his camera down. “I’m sorry I need to end the session here.” The next thing you know your feel the cool metal of safety scissors cutting into the delicate rope. Though you’re still dopey, concern bubbles in your chest. “These ropes are expensive, let me-” Hyunjin shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that.” Guilt settles in his stomach. He was so close. That trust you both had built he was so close to ruining. His blood is icy, shocked into sluggishness. There were so many normal steps that were skipped when he called to halt the scene. Though calling to end the scene was right, he feels like crying. You wrap the fuzzy robe set in the corner of the room around yourself. Footsteps falling softly on the floor you ask, “do you want to be the little spoon or the big spoon?” “Can you just put your head on my chest and hold me for a bit?” Nodding, you sit and wait for him on the edge of the bed. Your heart seizes and pangs in an un-platonic way as he settles back on the other side of the bed. Had he asked others for aftercare like this? Not that it should matter to you. “That was intense,” you whisper, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’m sorry. I got too-” “I liked it. If that helps.” He chuckles disconcertingly, eyes to the ceiling. “We have pretty specific terms of our agreement and I-” he stops and considers his next words carefully. “-I had to step back.” You nestle closer into his side. His slight frame doesn’t make a particularly good pillow but it doesn’t bother you much. “Intense isn’t bad it’s just I-” Quiet settles over the both of you. Now you’re the one considering your next words as you feel your heart skip several beats. “That’s why I trust you, if that helps. We can always revisit the terms. Now that we know each other. We can revise them.” His laugh bounces your head. “Right. We can revise them.”

I tried to do my best with showing a scene where a safety word is used and the scene stops because I feel like we don’t really see a ton of that in smut.

#hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #stray kids hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #kinktober 2024 #kpop kinktober #stray kids kinktober #kpop smut

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meshla-cyarika · 1 year ago

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SFW alphabet

Nathan Prescott's SFW alphabet!!!

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A - affection (how affectionate are they with you?)

In public, Nathan's affection towards you is dropped down to holding hands, an arm around your shoulder or waist. You'll get a kiss, if you're lucky. He isn't big on PDA because his parents raised him to think that showing your love for someone in public is inappropriate and frowned upon.

But when you're all alone, it's a whole different story. If you're trying to concentrate on something, Nathan will make it his life goal to distract you and steal affection from you. Whenever you're alone together, he's holding onto you in some way whether it's having you sat on his lap, or just holding onto you in some way.

B - best friend (how are they as a bestie?)

Fucking insane. Expect to do some crazy ass shit 24/7. He'll hang around you like a lost puppy, whether you're doing weed somewhere, or terrorising the neighbourhood

C - cuddles (how do they cuddle?)

This man will cuddle you in any position, as long as he's touching you he doesn't care. Although, in the beginning of your relationship he was very tense when it came to cuddling you and physical touch in general. He didn't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak, because he was scared that you were going to make fun of him for it. Because of this, he resulted to spooning you, so he could still hold but be able to not show how much he's enjoying it.

Now, he prefers to be held by you, because he knows that you won't laugh at him for it and you won't tell anyone. He'll also just lay ontop of you and rest his head on your chest.

D - domestic (their thoughts on settling down)

Nathan has never had a domestic moment in his entire life, until he met you that is. He does want to spend his entire life with you, but he isn't prepared to drop everything and become a normal citizen of society yet. He wants to spend his youthful years as rebellious as he can, but not to the point where it could ruin both your lives.

E - ending (how would a breakup go?)

A breakup with anyone else, wouldn't bother Nathan the slightest bit. But with you, he would actually lose his mind. Expect alot of shouting and yelling, then sobbing and begging for you to stay. Nathan has spent so much time with you, the thought of you splitting up never crossed his mind, so he was really shocked. He would start spiralling downwards rapidly. Not attending his therapy sessions, not taking his pills, lashing out at everyone. All he wants is you and that's the one thing he can't have.

F - fiancée (how do they feel about commitment?)

Nathan was originally very weary of commitment, purely because he feared that you'd leave him like everyone else. But after a year of you dating, he realised he couldn't picture his life without you. Nathan was raised to think that marriage is the best way a relationship could go. So, he waited a little while after you both graduated before very nervously popping the question. Obviously, you said yes. (If you dont I'll personally murder you for crushing this poor boy's heart)

G - gentle (how gentle are they with you?)

You know that Nathan is the most rigid person to ever have existed and won't hesitate to through someone out of a window. Which is why you were so shocked when he held you so delicately as if you'd break like glass. And the way he speaks to you is so timid and soft, a tone he's never used with anyone else. You're the only thing in his life that he actually gives a shit about, so he's going to protect you at all costs.

H - hugs (their thoughts on hugs)

He's not a very big fan of hugs. He'll side hug you tho, wrapping his arm around your waist to bring her hips next to his. The only time he'll accept hugs, is if you reward him with a kiss aswell.

I - I love you (who's the first to say it and how often is it said?)

Surprisingly, Nathan was the first to say it. It happened when you were comforting him after one of his many nightmares. He tucked his head under your chin and you ran your fingers through his hair. You let him sob and tell you all about it, while comforting him. Nathan realised in this moment, how this is the first and only time someone has treated him so gently and softly. In comparison, everyone else treats him like trash. So, in the darkness of the night he muttered a small, "I love you." And his heart was pounding agaisnt his ribcage as he waited for your response. "I love you too, idiot." You said back, kissing his forehead.

You only share "I love yous" in intimate and private moments. Nathan doesn't like the idea of just saying it every five seconds, because then he thinks it loses it's meaning. So, you both always cherish your "I love you" moments because you can tell how sincere it is.

J - jealousy (how jealous do they get?)

Jesus Christ, this man can go from zero to one hundred real quick. If he sees you having a conversation with a guy he isn't friends with for a little too long, he's marching over and making an obvious display that your taken. If he sees someone straight up flirty with you, he'll straight up tell them to fuck off. When they eventually leave, he'll kiss you with a burning desire, as if proving that you're all his. Despite all of this, he's never angry at you. He'll never say that you were purposely leading the guy on or anything. He trusts your loyalty.

K - kisses (their thoughts on kissing)

Nathan's all for kissing and making out, but not so much in public. He'll stick his tongue down your throat to his heart's content in the safety of your rooms, but not in public. He'll kiss your cheek, or peck your lips quickly in public, so people don't see him as soft and vulnerable.

But drunk and high Nathan is a whole over story. He'll take you to a quieter area of a Vortex party and press himself agaisnt you while you're backed up agaisnt a wall. You can't say you don't love him like this, but you do remind him that you can't do this here because of how fast photos and videos spread around Blackwell. You don't want him to do something he'll regret while he's not even sober.

L - little ones (their thoughts on having children)

Honestly, Nathan is fucking terrified of having kids. Purely because, he fears that he'll turn into his father. If it ever were to happen, he definitely wants to be in the right state of mind, not on any illegal drugs and not drinking any alcohol. He really doesn't want to fuck up raising his kids, like he has with everything else (his opinion).

If his father comments on how he thinks that Nathan is doing a shit job as a dad, his heart will shatter into a million pieces, because someone confirmed his biggest fear. But you and his sisters make sure to tell his dad to shut the fuck up and assure Nathan that he is doing a good job and he is a good dad.

M - mornings (how do mornings usually go?)

When you're still in Blackwell, mornings last only for a couple of minutes. You wake up from the light bleeding through the curtains and listen to the students starting their day in their dorms. You and Nathan sleepily talk about how shit your days are gonna be, while pressing lazy kisses to each other's skin.

When you're on summer break, or you've graduated and in your own home, your mornings are so much more relaxed. You stay in bed for atleast two hours, holding each other and telling each other how beautiful you think one another are with sleepy voices. It takes you atleast half an hour to convince Nathan that you actually need to start your day.

N - nights (how do your nights go?)

When you're still at Blackwell, your nights start with one of you sneaking into the other's room. Then, you watch a movie on his laptop and cuddle in bed, sleepy kisses passed between you both before sleep consumes you.

When your on summer break, or you've graduated and living in your own home, nights are more calm and layed back. You huddle up under the covers and do whatever you want. Watch a movie, talk about your days, make out 👀. You end up falling asleep way later than you do when you were at Blackwell, as you have more freedom over your schedules.

O - open (how open are they about your relationship?)

It takes a few months for Nathan to annouce your dating, he just wants to make sure that this isn't just a fling or something and that it's for real. He doesn't show PDA alot, but people know that your dating, mostly because Nathan wouldn't let anyone get as physically close to him as you do if you were just friends.

P - patience (how much patience do they have with you?)

Nathan is alright with you requiring some time to figure something out in your relationship, considering how much time he needs in your relationship aswell. If you need him with you alot of the time, he doesn't mind that either. He admires your presence.

Q - quizzes (how much do they remember about you? Like little details?)

It might not seem like it, but Nathan is very observant of the things you say. He makes mental notes of your interests that you've mentioned and stuff you've said you want. Which is why he's an amazing gift giver. If you say you like something as a one off, months later on your birthday he's got it wrapped up for you. "Nathan, this was five hundred dollars!" "So?"

R - remember (their favourite memory with you)

Nathan's favourite memory of him and you is your first kiss. He took you to the lighthouse and you were looking out at the sea, a golden ray of sunshine lighting up your face. Discreetly, Nathan pulled out his camera and snapped a photo of you, causing you to turn to him. You tried to grab his camera to delete the photo, but he raised it above his head, where you couldn't reach. You were up on your tiptoes, trying to snatch the camera, not realising how close you and Nathan were. You stumbled forward a little and Nathan instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist to steady you. You looked into his eyes and he looked into yours. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

S - security (how protective are they of you?)

This man is able to act as your boyfriend and your gaurd dog. It's well known around the school that Nathan and you are an item and that your both off limits. So, when the oblivious new kid was trying to hit on you, Nathan was beyond fuming. You're surprised there wasn't any steam coming out of his ears. Nathan was fully prepared to smash the new kid's nose into sidewalk, but you felt bad for him and let him down easy, telling him that you already had a boyfriend. That's when Nathan appeared. You subconsciously stepped inbetween them, knowing that Nathan was about to become uncontrollable. The kid hastily left after seeing the dirty look Nathan was throwing his way over your shoulder. That's the plus of having a gaurd dog boyfriend, he's an asshole but he's your asshole, so you can some what calm down his anger.

T - try (how much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries etc)

When it comes to dates, Nathan uses his rich boy privileges. He takes you out of Arcadia Bay and into a nice town that has an even nicer restaurant. As much as you love that Nathan has spent all this money on you, you don't like these type of dates as much as you would like. You know, that Nathan isn't being his real self when he does things like this, he's just doing it because this is what a stereotypical boyfriend should do. You prefer it when he takes you to quieter places within Arcadia Bay, like the Two Whales, the lighthouse and the beach at sunset.

When it comes to anniversaries, Nathan only cares about the main ones, like when you two got together and when you got married etc. He doesn't really care that much about the more little ones. But he does go all out for anniversaries, again because he knows that this is what a boyfriend/husband should stereotypically do. He gets you expensive gifts and takes you to the lighthouse, where you share so many fond memories.

U - ugly (a bad habit of theirs)

Nathan has a habit of putting his status first beyond anything else. Which means that sometimes he does stuff that he doesn't really want to do, purely because it will make him look cooler and boost his popularity. This is why he doesn't like PDA, because he fears that people will make fun of him for loving someone.

V - Vanity (how insecure are they?)

Nathan is very insecure about so many things. He's made this facade that he presents infront of everyone, so they don't get to see the damage behind it. You can see right through it, but you'd never call him out on it. You both have a silent agreement that when he let's his gaurd down with you it stays between the two of you.

W - whole (do they feel while when they're with you?)

Yes, one hundred per cent. He feels so complete and content when he's with you, because he knows he doesn't have to act like someone else. He can just be him. And you love seeing the real Nathan and how you can now understand him so much better.

X - xtra (a random headcannon)

Nathan can't sleep in silence. He needs a tv on, or his laptop playing something, or a playlist playing on his phone. He can't sleep without something playing in the background, because when he's left in silence he over thinks things too much. The sound distracts him and eases his mind.

Y - yuck (a personality trait they hate)

Nathan hates it when people try to get close to him just for popularity, or just to try and get closer to the Prescott family. He can't stand people using him and he doesn't have time for it. So, if someone tries that with him he tells them to fuck off and he can ruin their lives in a millisecond.

Z - zzz (sleeping habits)

Nathan has to sleep holding onto you somehow. He has to be holding onto your arm, or keeping one of your legs entangled with his own. This isn't really sleeping habit, but he has a fucked up sleep schedule. Like he'll wake up at five in the morning one night and then only just get into bed at five in the morning another night. #fixthisman'ssleepschedule

#life is strange #life is strange x reader #nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #chloe price #max caulfield #victoria chase #Kate marsh #warren graham #rachel amber

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vampykween · 11 months ago

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Crazy idea for toxic husband simon? Lets send them to couples counselling >:]

hehe i love this idea! sorry this took so long i pondered over how to write it, but i like how it turned out! these two deserve a brief reprieve from all the angst so enjoy this little glimmer of hope <3

“i still don’t think we need to do this, love”

“so, you’ve said. can you please just go get the kids ready to leave, im not finished getting ready.” you mentally count down from ten while leaning over the bathroom sink attempting to finish up your makeup. you know by the time you hit ten, simon will have volleyed back some comment you’re in no mood to hear.

“’s therapy, not a fashion show. dont even get why you’re getting dolled up anyway.” he’s unbelievably predictable.

you roll your eyes and stare pointedly in his direction. “you know if you’re trying to convince me you still love me, you should try just saying ‘wow babe you look beautiful, of course i’ll get the kids ready’.” simon squints his eyes at you as if he’s actually considering what you’re saying, huffs, and stalks off in the direction of your daughters’ room.

maybe your husband(?) was right, this does feel stupid. you two are sitting in a far too stuffy room with plain decorations, on a too-plush couch that makes you sink further with every movement. you don't even realize the therapist is asking you something until simon places a hand on your bouncing knee, stilling it to catch your attention. your heart shouldn’t stutter at the small display of affection, but simon hadn’t touched you in so long the touch melted the icy feelings you had towards him.

the session goes far better than you had expected. you didn’t think simon would open up much, but he was a lot more willing to admit his faults than you figured he’d be. you couldn’t help but stare at him incredulously, where was this man when you two were at home? when you were begging and pleading for help with literally any and everything? a part of you starts to feel bad when simon’s revealing his feelings of depression and worthlessness, not that you’re giving him a pass for the years of transgression, but once upon a time he was your soulmate and your heartbreaks knowing he was in so much pain.

maybe you didn’t see it because you were blinded by rage, or because you were so exhausted day in and day out, you didn’t have time to think of anything other than being a mom. you both come to the realization, with the therapist’s help of course, that you were both so eager to rush into life that you never stopped to consider what that would actually look like. you wanted a baby so badly that even when things started to snowball into madness you two convinced yourselves that this was just the way it was and that it had to be worth it somehow.

as you’re both walking back to the car, you leave feeling a whole lot lighter than when you went in. sure no major hurdles were cleared. you weren’t sure when you’d be able to kiss and love on your husband again without being confronted with everything he wasn’t doing, but you two are going to take it slow and learn to listen to each other. give and take. push and pull. as you slide into the passenger seat, simon tugs gently at one of your hands and interlocks his fingers with yours.

“i know i can’t take back the past, but i’m serious about changing. i want to be better for you, for us, and for our girls.”

you’re not sure what you had expected him to say, but his words have your breath caught in your throat. you distinctly remember a time when he promised he would be good to you, and he failed. you wanted to badly to believe him now, hearing the sincerity in his voice. warring between what the angry part of you wants to say and what the hopeful part of you wants to say, you land on a simple response of “okay”

“okay?”

“yes, okay. i’m not ready to forgive you yet and i don’t know when i ever will be. but i am saying that i will try.” his eyes lock with yours and you can see the emotion brewing in them, he doesn’t offer any words back. he simply squeezes your hand three times in quick succession. i love you. maybe just maybe things will work out this time.

#mic answers #mic writes #toxichusband!simon #toxichusband!ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f!reader

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howlsofbloodhounds · 3 months ago

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nckdnsk howl you can't keep having these bombass headcanons while i'm still compiling stuff to write my fics (it's me, crowshipping anon) 😭 i'll probably share them when i'm done 🫣

jokes aside, since you want some two cents on killer and color being apart from each other...

cross takes the role of teaching killer about boundaries in relationships. he belatedly realizes that "wait, does killer have any hobbies or other friends apart from color?". and so it turns into a daily exercise of forcing killer (usually with violence sadly) to socialize with more people and find his own hobbies/activities not related to color. cross gets killer a secluded place to live (cross might have blackmailed ink into helping). cross makes killer decide on interior furniture, letting him have some choices in his living environment. baby steps, baby steps.

unlike color, of course cross is busy with his own stuff and responsibilities. i imagine he's on community service for what he did in the past. so cross is not just killer's only caretaker/parole officer. sometimes dream is there, sometimes blue, sometimes murder and/or horror (if they escape nightmare and once they're well-adjusted - i imagine they'd have an easier time than killer for... reasons), and there are other people as well. it's not a one-person task to rehabilitate a bad person - it's a community effort to reform them to be better!

(though i imagine for safety reasons, people usually take on shifts in groups. killer is still dangerous after all. i think murder, having previous beef with killer, will enjoy having legitimate reasons to fight killer and taunt him over his failures of controlling color and how he's not that dissimilar to nightmare. needs some tough love to get through killer's thick skull after all.)

after a while, cross thinks about getting killer some cats, though he is skeptical at first. it's not that he can't trust killer to take care of cats - he's just wary the caretaking duties and ownership might trigger killer's control issues again. so at first it's cat therapy sessions with ccino. killer has some alone times with the cats. maybe once ccino can reassure cross that killer can be a responsible cat owner, then it's time to GET KILLER SOME CATS!!! killer can adopt some hobbies, like crocheting so he can give his cats some fun accessories, or journaling so he can vent like crazy. oh yeah, and he needs a therapist too.

meanwhile, color is on his multiversal road trip with delta and epic. he feels excited and apprehensive at the same time. excited, because it's been a long time since he has time to spend with his old friends - he misses this so much. and apprehensive, because he can't help fretting over whether killer is okay or not - last time he saw killer, cross was dragging him away quite aggressively. epic is like "nah bro, cross won't kill him, don't worry. let's just relax"

so color is relearning how to be himself around people he love. sometimes color hurts delta/epic out of habit for not listening to him, and he's appalled by his actions. sometimes he begs them to let him see killer again, just a call, and epic and delta just have to flat out deny it for his own recovery. he can only hear updates through cross. sometimes he tries to sneak out to return to killer (yay portal powers!), but gets caught and coaxed into not doing anything reckless.

this is me assuming everything go swimmingly for both of them, though for killer it'll be much harder. imagine something goes wrong. like killer finally weasels one of his caretakers into bringing him to color, or color successfully sneaks out to see killer. imagine killer says to color that everyone is out to get them, to separate them. let's just leave everything and run away together. killer knows just a universe that nightmare has destroyed where no one can suspect. imagine color is reluctant at first, but then killer pulls out his guilt-tripping card again. he was miserable the whole time color wasn't there, so is color okay with leaving him? killer knows color knows killer is a terrible person, and yet color still tries to connect with him, not to fix him but to show him a better way to live. and isn't killer content with being with color, just the two of them against the world? whatever color decides to do, killer will agree. but, as killer proposes, if they stay, killer will not be happy, and will color live with that?

Grr yess thank you I Am eating this up more please 🙏 🙏 (crowshipping anon may I please be able to read your fics when you’re done with them???)

I am conflicted because I am like yes killer get worse you fucking vile creature and in the next I want to snap his fucking neck. I wonder if ink shares my emotions on this (characters in a story after all)

I can’t imagine what killers fucking journal would be like. probably alternating between literally everything about color and then just violently wanting to rip cross and dream and fucking dust to shreds because how dare they

it is probably the equivalent of that one post that goes “*writing in my journal with a glitter pen* I am losing touch with my humanity”

I know his bitch ass immediately zeroed in on his past victims—blue, murder, horror—and started tearing into them. probably knew cross would prevent him from physically doing so hes gonna do it verbally. hows fucking papyrus doing huh? hows that eye treating you baby blue? trick your brother into eating anymore meat horror? does he hate you now?

his ass would immediately use his knowledge and experience with/about nightmare to fuck with dream too. you can’t even save your own brother what makes you think you could save me?

he would most definitely attempt to sabotage cross’, murder’s, and horror’s “redemption arcs.”

theyre all gonna fucking hate him in these moments and its gonna take a whole lotta patience and understanding to not immediately murder him. (maybe thats what a part of him is hoping for) (looking at you stage 1, even tho you havent likely made a appearance yet)

his ass would definitely fake cry and pretend to be getting better only to just clock whoever is watching him out and attempt to escape (goes nowhere because he wasnt even allowed to know where color is)

but imagine the relief for a moment if color did sneak out to see him. before his guilt tripping bullshit.

like. like. cause I know his codependent ass was on the edge on a perpetual breakdown even when he tried to hide it and suppress it under his apathy and dissociate. his experienced mind is conjuring up images every horrible fucking thing that could happening to color, and stage 1’s anxiety is causing fucking constant nightmares and flashbacks and it makes it worse because I know he tries very often and frequently to shove stage 1 all the way down. (Nightmares still out there he hates color colors not safe)

no. no. he would just ruin everything, hed try to kill them—he wouldnt understand what killer is doing. killer cant die, color still needs him. stage 1 would be stupid enough to buy into cross’ bullshit.

i can just imagine the relief that almost sends him to his knees when he finally sees color. eyes looking him over everywhere—wheres the scars? wheres the bruises?—shaky hands (uncharacteristic) roaming over colors form. maybe even does something as dramatic as slams color against a wall with his body just for the drama of it all.

He’s real. He’s real he’s real—solid underneath his hands. Colors real. maybe so relieved there’s even some cheek nuzzles and maybe even some kisses from colors cheek to his throat.

and. and. and killer failed him. he failed. he failed to protect him.

he needs to be punished. he knows. color probably doesnt know but its okay he’ll teach him later.

and then there’s comes the exhausted but content full body sigh before killer melts against color and then here comes the apologies. for failing.

theres some reassurance from color—no don’t apologize its not your fault im okay epic and delta would never hurt me/let me be hurt—then it loops around to the fucking guilt tripping. killer im gonna snap your neck you prick.

oh boy imagine being killers therapist during this. hes gonna make your job miserable and like pulling teeth. hes gonna observe you and start using what hes noticed against you—the kids dont call anymore therapist person? oh your husband is dead..im sure its your fault.

and i can imagine back with delta and epic and color that if anyone tries to talk about killer he immediately starts defending him. like no it wasnt okay what killer did but come on he doesnt know any better (color knows logically that its killers responsibility to learn better anyhow)

id imagine that the experience with killer and the subsequent effects of instinctively hurting delta and/or epic mustve led color to those “hurting my loved ones” nightmares that delta is quite familiar with. and delta hates killer for this. he hates that he made color afraid of himself, that he did all that to someone he claims to care about more than anything.

“care about” his ass. this isnt love. this isnt what you do to those you love.

anyway i need color and epic and delta to cuddle up all nice warm and theyre there to comfort color when he wakes up screaming/crying. often times color just wants killer (the devotion when he looks at color is as comforting as it is terrifying), so at most epic and delta settle for something that could remind him of killer. a photo? killers jacket?

delta should get to punch killer in the mouth for this yes siree. epic gives him the immediate “yes” to the signaled question. (murder gets to beef with killer and also talks shit about killer out loud to papyrus & although killer doesn’t know it reaper and grimm know all the juicy details (murder talks shit while at their altars lmao) and are judging him harshly) (theyre like ‘damn bitch you live like this???’)

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piastrisversion · 25 days ago

Text

straight from the tortured poets department || matty healy x gn!reader

genre: slight angst+slight smut || word count:

warnings: mentions of a daddy kink and unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), also mentions of sh, first paragraph is delusion city....

authors note: the rat has crawled his way back into my mind so ur favorite matty healy x gender neutral fanfic writer is back and better than ever!! the story begins after the cut off so click it and ENJOYYY!!

Christmas, 2022. It was hard to go on social media without seeing Matthew Healy. The new album, the tour, the songs probably written about you (the word "probably" in this scenario meaning "of course they are, why wouldn't they be"). The edits on TikTok didn't help you to forget and/or move on from him. The sad part was you tried to move on. All the therapy sessions in the world couldn't stop you from telling all your friends you loved him still.

Matty Healy (@trumanblack) liked your story.

8:30 pm on Christmas-motherfucking-Day. Obviously you're not complaining, you wanted him back. But the fact he took the time to search your account on Instagram and click your story and like it. He wanted to show that he cared, at least that's what you thought. But Matty is a smart man. He knew you would bend at the idea of him coming back. He knew you saw all the edits, tweets, so on and so forth. But no, you thought, you won't give him the pleasure of sliding into his DMs like you so desperately wanted to do moments before the notification shot through. But that didn't happen.

Two hours later, you found yourself knocking on that bastard's hotel room door. He ended up sliding into your DMs, almost begging you to see him on Christmas. Matty may have been smart but before all that he was pathetic. He admits to that. He likes to be called a good boy after a being on stage for fucking hours, his aching cock in your hole doing nothing but just sitting in there, warming it up. He's a self aware man and you two accept that. You beg that he isn't just wanting you here to fuck you but in the back of your mind you not just want it, you need it.

Sheepishly, he opens the door.

"Didn't think you'd actually come" he coos

"Why's that?" you answer back softly

"Left me on read."

You chuckle as you enter the room. He's wearing a half-buttoned dress shirt and dress pants, both wrinkled. The room smells of Glossier Body Hero body wash and Matty's way-too-expensive cologne, which most likely costs more than your rent that month. The room is clean, classy yet still messy in Matty fashion. He stands behind you as your eyes wander around the room. He almost looks at you in wonder before he reluctantly breaks the silence.

"I got ya somethin'"

You hum out as he shuffles into the bedroom, bringing out a medium sized gift-wrapped box after a moment or two.

"You left this in Manchester." he says in an almost cocky yet still vulnerable way.

You look almost confused as you sit on the couch nearby, setting the present down before tearing into the gift wrap. After tearing through half a meter of wrapping paper and a half hazardly taped Amazon box, you find the typewriter you kept in his flat. The one that was used to write the mountains of poems and stories you wrote for him. The same ones your friends wanted you to burn but you couldn't. You would protest that it was "your art", to be subtracted from the context it existed in. But that wouldn't be possible.

"H...how long have you been waiting to give this to me?"

You look up at him like a lost, confused puppy dog.

"Matty...matty i-"

"Hm?" he interrupts

"...Is this all?"

"...Also wanted to talk to ya"

"About?"

"Christ, take a guess, darlin'" he says sharply

You look away from him and back at the typewriter. The worn out "M" and "H" letters. You smile to yourself before looking back up at him.

"What about it? Heard your thoughts on that album of yours" you say mocking him to an extent.

"Still as hostile as ever" he says under his breath.

"Oh, I'm the hostile one?"

"Well yeah-"

"How am I hostile...tell me" you interrupt.

He looks away, thinking of a response before looking back into your eyes. He plops down on the couch next to you, turning his head towards you before plopping his head on your lap. You sigh before you running your hands through his soft black curls. The room turns silent as the tension between the two of you turns comfortable as he nuzzles into your lap.

"Jus' miss ya...is all, I guess" he coos out, "Sorry if you got harassed or somethin'... didn't mean to start anything".

"I'm an adult, I'll be fine if some teenagers on the Internet tell me to slit my wrists, Matthew"

He somberly chuckles at your joke before going silent. He did miss you but he never viewed you two as exclusive. He thought it was just a lovebombing filled fling, something to take his and your mind off of the bullshit in your lives. But to you, due to the lovebombing on his side, you thought it was forever. You told your friends, your mom, everybody you could that he was the one. So when he ghosted you after months of obsessing over one another, it shook you. The album didn't help either but you didn't wanna tell him that. Not at this moment anyway. He moves his body to look up at you in the cutest most Matty way possible.

"My baby..." he sighs out as his eyes flutter shut.

You chuckle, "Hm?".

"I wan' to kiss my baby" he mumbles out.

You sigh. "Shut up, Matty...don't make this worse for us"

He gets up from your lap, looking at you in your eyes before softly pressing his lips against yours as his hand snakes up your jawline. Your hand, almost in muscle memory, goes under the hem of his dress shirt, holding his warm tattooed skin.

"Is this what you want?" he moans between kisses

You nod. If anything, this was what you needed.

#the 1975 #matty healy x reader #matty healy #x gn reader #matty x reader #angst #the 1975 smut #smut #matty healy smut #this is kinda half assed but idgaf tbh #tell me if you want a part 2 #the tortured poets department #ttpd #ts ttpd

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delulu4dean · 1 year ago

Text

“Audio-Therapy”

Warnings: none

Parings: Dean x sister!reader

Summary: you show Dean the magic of audio therapy

Word count: 1,679

You’ve known your brothers Sam and Dean since you were about ten years old. Your dad didn’t tell you about them, and he didn’t tell them about you. It was a one night stand after a hunt, he met your mom at a bar and you were born. When you were ten, your mom said she’s done raising you on her own, and demanded John be in your life. Unfortunately it wasn’t going to happen, as John was dead. Finding out about Adam was already a lot that year for them, but finding out about you too? A ten year old sister? Sam and Dean weren’t exactly happy or excited. And then the whole thing with Lucifer and Sam being in the cage together happened. That’s when Dean started being more present in your life. Along with him being with Lisa and Ben, he had you sleep over a few times, he’s visited other times. And that’s when your connection to the Winchester brothers started.

Around the time you were fifteen, there was a time where Dean died, and then he wasn’t. And during that time, you helped Sam look for Dean, because one moment Dean was dead in the bunker, the next he was gone, with a letter left behind. Sam fought against you helping at first, but he was desperate to find Dean. This was your first real experience with the supernatural world. Seeing Dean as a demon was a terrifying experience, to say the least. But you knew you wanted to be a hunter just like your brothers. And after you, Castiel, and Sam cured Dean, you begged and begged and begged to be a hunter just like them. Sam and Dean protested and protested, but you didn’t back down. You chose to stay with them instead going back home. It’s not like your mother protested much, she never wanted a kid, let alone to be a single mother. But she also didn’t know what kind of things Sam and Dean were involved with.

Here you are now, 23, living in the bunker with your older brothers, still. You’ve become quite the skilled hunter, and you can tell your brothers are proud. Proud and scared.

You’ve picked up on some things over the years. One being how much Dean bottles up all his emotions. It’s not like you’re one to talk much about your feelings either, you typically keep them to yourself… for the most part. But in your time at the bunker you’ve discovered audio therapy. And you figured it’s time Dean tries it.

“Dean, grab your keys, we’re going on a drive,” you order your eldest brother.

“Where?” he asked, looking up from his laptop.

“I dunno, maybe we can grab some burgers or something.” You shrug.

Dean looks at you for a moment, thinking.

“You just want to go on a drive?”

“Yes, I’m introducing you to therapy.”

“So I’m driving to a therapist?” Dean raises his eyebrow.

“No, just get your butt in the car,” you push.

Dean reluctantly shuts his laptop, and gets up, grabbing his key. You can tell he was not in the mood for anything with the word therapy in it, especially after taking you to your “retail therapy session.” You both get in his car and you put in a mixtape you had to make for the car because no way was Dean letting you just find a way to connect your phone to it.

“Hey, you know the rules,” he starts.

“The rules are stupid when you don’t let anyone else drive this car, so zip it,” you tell him.

“So what’s this therapy?” Dean asks you, starting the car.

“Audio therapy,” you answer.

“What, like driving with music? I already do that. All the time. A little bit of AC/DC and some time on the road and I’m good.” He begins driving.

“It’s more complicated than that. Ignoring your feelings isn’t therapy, Dean,” you begin to explain. “Audio therapy is screaming at the top of your lungs to songs that sing your pain.”

“Like that mixtape you made? The one with all the emo songs?”

“Yes, and that’s what we’re listening to right now, so I can show you what audio therapy feels like.”

You press play, and One Step Closer by Lincoln Park. And as the song plays, and you sing along, Dean just listens. You enjoy your time singing, and then you start screaming. “Shut up when I’m talking to you! Shut up! Shut up!” Dean glances at you before his eyes go back to the road, his facial expression a mix of concerned and impressed.

“You okay, kid?” he finally asks.

“After that song? Yes,” you smile.

“So what makes this different than just listening to music?”

“You find songs that you relate to and sing your little heart out. Someone else already put your feelings into words, all you gotta do is sing them,” you try to explain to your brother. “So are you going to play your music, or what?”

Dean starts playing his music, mumbling the words. You lean forward to turn up the volume before slumping back into the passenger seat.

“I can’t hear you!” you poke his arm.

“Why does this matter so much to you?” Dean questions you.

“Because all you do is hold in your emotions. You don’t talk about anything, you just hold it all in. This way you can at least get some of it out,” you spell out for him.

“I’m fine,” he insists.

“You know, I’ve never heard a person who’s actually fine say ‘I’m fine.’ They’re always the complete opposite of fine.”

“What about when you say you’re fine?”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you actually believe me when I say that!”

“You’re ‘I’m fine’ is very convincing,” Dean defends himself. “Considering your resting tone is annoyed.”

“That’s not my resting tone, I’m just always annoyed. Like have you ever thought maybe, just maybe, I’m just never fine?”

Dean sighs, as you both fall into silence, minus the music playing in the car. Dean mumbles to the music again, as he pulls into the parking lot of a local burger joint.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks.

“Yes, actually,” you say. You avoid ‘I’m fine’ after the conversation you and your brother just had.

“Are you sure?” Dean looks over at you. “Because you just said you’re never-“

“I’m okay. I’m not great but I’m okay,” you insist, cutting him off. “But I’ll be great if I can get a burger in my tummy!”

The two of you walk inside and order, before sitting at the table. After a few minutes, you’re digging in. Well Dean is digging in, you’re eating slower than him. He wipes his mouth before taking a sip of his soda before looking up at you.

“So, what’s up with you, anything new?” Dean asks you. “Any boyfriends?” You shake your head in response, your mouth full of food. “Girlfriend?” You shake your head again.

Silence falls onto you again, as you continue eating your food, one fry by one fry. Dean just watched you eat.

After eating, the two of you walk to his car and he plays his music again. You just look out the window as he drives around. He sings along to the music, this time louder, clearer. As you look out the window you see you’re not going home, but rather that’s he’s continuing the drive. You look up at him and he’s really getting into the song that’s playing. The drive keeps going for the next fifteen minutes until you’re somewhere. Nowhere? Well it’s dark, no cars around.

“Shit, you’re finally going to kill me,” you joke, in a serious tone with a deadpanned face. Dean did not pick up on the joke.

“Kill you? What no, we’re here to… talk about our feelings,” Dean says. You can tell it was harder for him to say the last part, because Dean has to fight it out.

“That’s the point of the music,” you groan.

“Come on, kid. I’m thinking I’m not the only one you’re doing this for.”

“I want you to open up to me, not the other way around,” you explain to him.

“I will, but you got to open up to me too.”

“I’m just dealing with normal stuff, you’re the guy who saves tons of lives. You have a lot more to talk about.”

Dean sighs, putting the car in park. He looks over at you, taking a deep breath, as he puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Look, just because the things I’ve been through are crazy, doesn’t mean you haven’t been through stuff.”

“See this is why I prefer the music, nobody has to talk. We can sing, we can scream, and I don’t have to feel like I’m burdening you with my problems. You may say it’s fine but I don’t feel like it is. If these feelings are all too much for me I can’t imagine dumping them on somebody else, so-“

“Hey, it’s a lot for one person to carry alone, let me carry the weight with you.” Dean’s hands move from your shoulder to your head, steadying your face to look him in the eyes. “Tonight we’re both going to open up. You let out how you’re feeling to me, and I’ll tell you how I’m feeling.”

And that’s how you spend the rest of the night. For the next hour and a half, you and Dean take turns, going back and forth talking about things. Small things, big things, whatever is bubbling over or irking you, you talk about it. Sometimes one of your problems will remind Dean of something, and it flows into a new conversation. There’s some crying too, but good crying. And this is just the beginning of a weekly check in you and dean start doing. Once a week, you play some songs, sing out how you feel, and by the end of the night, if it’s still not enough, you talk it out.

✰✰✰✰✰

A/N: This kind of sucks sorry I had like a different idea but I did not know how to write it so I just did this.

#supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x sister!reader

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