#one shop all Vegan products

[catchy-court-products]

A Comprehensive Guide to Buying Vezlay Foods Products from Catchy Court

Introduction

At Catchy Court, we offer a wide range of Vezlay Foods products to cater to your dietary needs. Whether you're a vegetarian looking for delicious meat alternatives or simply want to try something new, our selection has something for everyone. In this guide, we'll walk you through the process of buying Vezlay Foods products from Catchy Court, making it easy and convenient for you to enjoy these tasty treats.

How to Find Vezlay Foods Products on Catchy Court

Finding Vezlay Foods products on Catchy Court is easy. Simply visit our website and navigate to the search bar. Type in Vezlay Foods and hit enter. You'll be presented with a list of all the Vezlay Foods products we have available for purchase. From there, you can browse through the options and choose the ones that best suit your needs.

Adding Products to Your Cart

Once you've found the Vezlay Veg Chicken products you'd like to purchase, simply click on the product image or name to view more details. From there, you can select the quantity you'd like to buy and click the "Add to Cart" button. Your selected items will be added to your cart, and you can continue shopping or proceed to checkout.

Checkout Process

To complete your purchase, click on the shopping cart icon at the top right corner of the screen. Review the items in your cart to ensure everything is correct, then click the "Checkout" button. You'll be prompted to enter your shipping and payment information. Once you've entered all the required details, click the "Place Order" button to finalize your purchase.

Delivery Options

We offer a range of delivery options to ensure your Vezlay Foods products reach you promptly. You can choose standard shipping for regular delivery times, or opt for expedited shipping if you need your order sooner. We also offer free shipping on orders over a certain amount, so be sure to take advantage of this offer if your order qualifies.

Customer Support

If you have any questions or need assistance with your order, our customer support team is here to help. You can reach us via email or phone, and we'll be happy to assist you with any queries you may have. We pride ourselves on providing excellent customer service, so don't hesitate to get in touch if you need help. for more food products like Vezlay Veg Chicken, Vezlay Veg Meat, Soya Leg Pieces, etc.

Conclusion

Buying Vezlay Foods products from Catchy Court is easy and convenient, thanks to our user-friendly website and wide range of delivery options. Whether you're looking for meat alternatives or simply want to try something new, we have you covered. So why wait? Visit Catchy Court today and start enjoying delicious Vezlay Foods products delivered right to your doorstep.

Name: Catchy Court Products Mobile No: 9891578877 Address: 496, Munshi Ram Market, Opp. ICICI Bank, Najafgarh Road, Nangloi- 110041 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/catchycourt/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catchycourtofficial/ Linkedin: https://in.linkedin.com/company/catchycourt Twitter: https://twitter.com/CatchyCourt Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Vezlay Pintrest: https://in.pinterest.com/catchycourt/ YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/M8VJsUsScLY?si=eLPW_OykSTavSZ0e

[headspace-hotel]

I will write this thought about Veganism and Classism in the USA in another post so as to not derail the other thread:

There are comments in the notes that say meat is only cheaper than plant based foods because of subsidies artificially lowering the price of meat in the United States. This is...part of the story but not all of it.

For my animal agriculture lab we went to a butcher shop and watched the butcher cut up a pig into various cuts of meat. I have had to study quite a bit about the meat industry in that class. This has been the first time I fully realized how strongly the meat on a single animal is divided up by socioeconomic class.

Like yes, meat cumulatively takes more natural resources to create and thus should be more expensive, but once that animal is cut apart, it is divided up between rich and poor based on how good to eat the parts are. I was really shocked at watching this process and seeing just how clean and crisp an indicator of class this is.

Specifically, the types of meat I'm most familiar with are traditionally "waste" parts left over once the desirable parts are gone. For example, beef brisket is the dangly, floppy bit on the front of a cow's neck. Pork spareribs are the part of the ribcage that's barely got anything on it.

And that stuff is a tier above the "meat" that is most of what poor people eat: sausage, hot dogs, bologna, other heavily processed meat products that are essentially made up of all the scraps from the carcass that can't go into the "cuts" of meat. Where my mom comes from in North Carolina, you can buy "livermush" which is a processed meat product made up of a mixture of liver and a bunch of random body parts ground up and congealed together. There's also "head cheese" (made of parts of the pig's head) and pickled pigs' feet and chitlin's (that's made of intestines iirc) and cracklin's (basically crispy fried pig skin) and probably a bunch of stuff i'm forgetting. A lot of traditional Southern cooking uses basically scraps of animal ingredients to stretch across multiple meals, like putting pork fat in beans or saving bacon grease for gravy or the like.

So another dysfunctional thing about our food system, is that instead of people of each socioeconomic class eating a certain number of animals, every individual animal is basically divided up along class lines, with the poorest people eating the scraps no one else will eat (oftentimes heavily processed in a way that makes it incredibly unhealthy).

Even the 70% lean ground beef is made by injecting extra leftover fat back into the ground-up meat because the extra fat is undesirable on the "better" cuts. (Gross!)

I've made, or eaten, many a recipe where the only thing that makes it non-vegan is the chicken broth. Chicken broth, just leftover chicken bones and cartilage rendered and boiled down in water? How much is that "driving demand" for meat, when it's basically a byproduct?

That class really made me twist my brain around about the idea of abstaining from animal products as a way to deprive the industry of profits. Nobody eats "X number of cows, pigs, chickens in a lifetime" because depending on the socioeconomic class, they're eating different parts of the animal, splitting it with someone richer or poorer than they are. If a bunch of people who only ate processed meats anyway abstained, that wouldn't equal "saving" X number of animals, it would just mean the scraps and byproducts from a bunch of people's steaks or pork chops would have something different happen to them.

The other major relevant conclusion I got from that class, was that animal agriculture is so dominant because of monoculture. People think it's animal agriculture vs. plant agriculture (or plants used for human consumption vs. using them to feed livestock), but from capitalism's point of view, feeding animals corn is just another way to use corn to generate profits.

People think we could feed the world by using the grain fed to animals to feed humans, but...the grain fed to animals, is not actually a viable diet for the human population, because it's literally just corn and soybean. Like animal agriculture is used to give some semblance of variety to the consumer's diet in a system that is almost totally dominated by like 3 monocrops.

Do y'all have any idea how much of the American diet is just corn?!?! Corn starch, corn syrup, corn this, corn that, processed into the appearance of variety. And chickens and pigs are just another way to process corn. That's basically why we have them, because they can eat our corn. It's a total disaster.

And it's even worse because almost all the USA's plant foods that aren't the giant industrial monocrops maintained by pesticides and machines, are harvested and cared for by undocumented migrant workers that get abused and mistreated and can't say anything because their boss will tattle on them to ICE.

[mr-ys-phantasma]

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader

Chapter 1. - Chapter 2. - Chapter 3

Chapter 4. - Chapter 5. - Chapter 6

Word Count: 1470

Chapter 7:

The door closed behind you as the last of you entered, but no one was bothered by it. Instead, everyone was busy staring at the luxurious interior that did not match the vibe of the house outside.

"It's not exactly the stuff of nightmares." Jen commented, passively proving Agatha that such things were more to her liking.

The decor, the rich life and everything was something that Jen would easily have in her life; if she did not have her magic bound and forced to make "vegan" candles and products for ridiculous low prizes while fighting lawsuits for "little" accidents.

"The Road changes for the coven." Agatha explained bluntly.

However, it was Lilia that took notice of something else... her clothes.

"It changed us, too." She pointed out, making everyone look at themselves and at one another.

Indeed, the clothes had changed to fit the mood more; now, all of witches resembling rich housewives than anything else.

You dared to glance at yourself, eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the outfit the Road had chosen for you.

Your vest and tie were gone. Instead, a nice baby pink shirt had replaced the three buttons open and was rather generous with your cleavage. The outfit matched with a set of bright white pants and a white/creme jacket.

Bonus point, you were no longer barefoot, though you were not sure how to feel about the open toe ankle strapped heels

"My amulet!" Alice exclaimed in panic, searching for her very special necklace.

By instant, your hand went to your neck where yours was always tied but did not find it. Before panic could settle in, though, you took notice of one of the many bracelets you had in your arms.

One of them was your amulet, the three moon phases offering you some comfort.

Amulets were important for all witches, special symbols chosen by otherworldly powers, and each one unique to each witch. They carried fragments of your power. They symbolised your affinity, and more than once, they were enchanted to offer protection against lesser evil.

Everyone started to walk inside, some like Jen looking for a mirror to fully admire their new outfit and hairstyle, others the decorations; and some like Teen; took notice of something that stood out in this serene living room.

You stayed where you were, ready to take a step forward when you took notice of Agatha slowly heading for the door, only to realize there was no doorknob and no way to exit.

You shook your head faintly and placed one hand on your waist, connecting your gaze with hers.

"Ags," you said softly, and she offered you an innocent smile, as if you had not observed her trying to leave the room. "You know how it goes. There is no way out once a trial starts"

She huffed faintly, knowing that too well, but she still was willing to try. She was never a patient woman, and right now, she had no reason to be. She needed her powers as quickly as possible and to get away from everyone; hopefully stealing you with her along the way.

"Well, it was worth a shot," she argued and fixed her outfit, not hiding her dissing at the turtleneck and the very boring cliché outfit chosen for her.

"You know, this style is not that bad on you. Think you could pull it off, " you commented, hoping to take her mind off something at least.

Agatha rolled her eyes as she walked your way, confident as ever. "Oh, please. You liked anything I chose to wear. Terrible company for shopping"

You could not help but smirk. "True," you agreed, not once offended by her cheeky remark. "Though you could never truly blame me"

This might have been the longest talk you had with one another in a long time, and you did not want it to end. This back and forth comment and slight flirty remarks were always your thing; perhaps was also what had exposed your relationship the first time.

Back then, the world was not that tolerant with your preferences, and even now; sometimes it felt as if your feelings for the same gender were illegal, a mistake.

She stood between you and the door, head held high. While you were the same height, these heels did add you a few inches to make you taller than her, and somehow, you knew she did not fully like it.

Her gaze remained locked with yours and yet she could not help but let her eyes trail down your body, attracted by the open top of your shirt.

It had been too long since she had seen you in tempting clothes, buttons, and ribbons close enough that she could tease and remove without much of an effort.

You titled your head faintly to the side, drawing her attention to your delicate neck.

It was frustrating how easily she was attracted to you, a deep need to recreate all your past moments that never left her memory. She would never allow it to happen, not with others present and not before she had obtained her powers back.

You knew that, but still seeing the way she would look at you, the mood changing when she had her chance to comment on your words made you happy.

It was proof that despite the passing years, despite the time you spent away from one another; you had not become complete strangers... not yet.

There was still this spark between you that could easily be fed and grown into a huge fire, if only you would both let her.

You took a deep breath, fighting back the need to grab and kiss her; even if it was for a mere second. You knew now it was not the Time nor the place to try and bring back the spark you always seemed to have for one another.

"Oh my god!" Sharon shouted, worrying you all that something happened. Yet, when the mortal woman walked back into the living room with a smile on her face; your worries washed away. "Bury me in that kitchen."

"Careful what you wish, Mrs. Davis" You could not help but mumble, your mouth working before your brain could stop it. "Wishes are a powerful thing"

Your words did not seem to ease the atmosphere, and you could not help but receive different looks from your fellow witches. Your words did sound little too ominous for their liking, and considering you seemed to have some connection to Agatha, it made them even less willing to trust you right away.

Thankfully for you, Teen was there to save the day.

"Hey, check this out!" The boy called, making you all look at him; temptations and sinful thoughts pushed to the back of your minds.

You quickly noticed that in his hands, he held an envelope, and your curiosity got the best of you. You walked towards him along with the others, only Agatha trailing behind; careful of what might happen once that envelope was opened.

"The Witches' Road cordially invites you to The First Trial." He read the outside of the envelope before daring to open it. "It's a riddle. My age has value. I'm no fun alone. I mess with your mind. My tricks are well-known."

You held back a scoff. By the divine godess, did you hate riddles, always messing with your head, and unfortunately; you were never really good with them either.

Perhaps that was why they frustrated you that much.

"That's a gorgeous card stock. Double-sided, too." Sharon said, quickly taking and inspecting the card with the riddle on.

"What does it mean?" Jen asked.

"That it's really expensive."

"The riddle, Mrs. Davis." You explained to the human woman, who was once again lost in her own little world.

"My age has value, no fun alone, i mess with mind, my tricks are well-known... " Alice mumbled as she read the riddle out loud.

Agatha thought for a moment. "Sounds like a witch

Jen quickly grabbed the chance to comment. "Sounds like you."

An intense staring started between the two women, Agatha, even daring to minic Jen and not helping with the situation or the riddle.

Suddenly, Sharon turned and noticed something that was not on the table a moment ago. "Wine!"

Immediately, everyone realised that this was the answer.

"That's it. Ten points for Mrs. Hart." Jen said and all turned to look at the bottle of wine, accompanied by 6 wine glasses.

"Wait, we don't know what'll happen if we drink it." Lilia voiced out as Agatha grabbed the wine bottle.

"But if we don't follow these obvious breadcrumbs, we can't move forward, and we won't get to big prize," Agatha argued. "So, does anybody have a corkscrew?"

Chapter 8

[betterbemeta]

I have said it before and i don't care how many youtubers advertise hello fresh or hungryroot to make a living

meal subscription services are not worth it.

Not a single one of them is actually cheaper in the long term than planning and buying your own groceries.

many of them have initial discounts to sell you the service and then hope you are just too busy or too tired to unsubscribe. almost ALL people who sign up for a meal plan will unsubscribe within the first year because they were only there to access those early discounts BECAUSE THEY NEEDED CHEAPER FOOD IMMEDIATELY.

Your normal grocery store probably does have a few dark patterns but not nearly as many as even the 'nicest' meal subscription service.

There are articles out there like "I did the math and the groceries and meal services are the same price mostly!" but if you pay attention, there are massive holes in their thinking:

the meals or plans that track closest to grocery store prices are ones that adhere to special diets. Eating vegan, keto, etc. can be more pricey to shop for. This is a known part of the strategy for meal kits and delivery services-- they can't compete with the price of typical groceries, but just like some people will shop at an expensive Health Food store, others will be willing to pay a premium for luxury or diet-specific products. And chances are if you're a regular person keeping a special diet with a limited amount of disposable income you probably have already made compromises for your budget and don't need a for-profit service to pry away that money you're trying to save.

These articles frame, 'you don't have to buy oil, seasonings, vinegar, or staple ingredients' as a cost saving or even food waste saving measure... but that's also true if you just eat regular TV dinners from the grocery store freezer aisle, many of which offer the same or better prices per serving. But really, is this not just a grocery shopping version of 'Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness'? Exploitation of those who can't invest in the cost of things upfront results in poor people spending more money for worse outcomes?

If I can't make a restaurant's exact same fish sandwich for the same price, I can just make a chicken sandwich or a grilled portobello. Or buy a box of frozen dumplings. Saving money on Grilled Trout Over Wild Rice shipped to my door makes no sense when I simply wouldn't choose to cook something like that without a special reason.

if these meal kits and delivery plan services really WERE cheaper than groceries, grocery stores would be losing money to them and they're mostly losing money to people buying less food in general.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Blame Yana T’s rendition of Full English Breakfast on Chapter 212 that I suddenly craved for it.

Apologies if you are a vegan bc of the meat assault.

How to make your own full English breakfast fast with your combination :

The basic idea would be like this. “There is no fixed menu or set of ingredients for a full breakfast.”

Mine goes something like this: assorted small sausages, hash browns, baked beans in tomato sauce, fried/grilled tomato slices, fried/grilled mushrooms, eggs, toasted bread. Paired with orange juice and tea.

You need sausages, different varieties. If you only have the Frankfurter, that’s fine too. Cut them in half and fry them. I love hash browns so I reheat them in the oven. It is safe to say that I didn’t prepare anything here, but just fry them after purchasing them from the supermarket. There is a British shop here but I didn’t like their sausages so Austrian it is. Choose huge tomatoes for frying after you cut them in slices. I love mushrooms too. After cleaning them by removing the outer layer (don’t soak them in water !) and fry both sides. Baked beans in tomato sauce can either be bought or cooked. It is your choice. There is one by Heinz, but I prefer the Austrian product, bc it is cheaper and organic. Calculate how much baked beans you would eat, I use my Chinese small bowl. Microwave it. The crowning glory is the sunny side up eggs 🍳!! And there you go. I love some toasted bread with butter so yes, bring them on. All in all I spent 15 euros for this and I didn’t get to finish all of the ingredients.

I ate full English breakfast in London and Edinburgh but the best I had was in Prague. It was in a clandestine street in the inner district where no one would notice that it was a coffeehouse but once you entered inside, it was so spacious, full of living plants and the owner was playing blues. So it was good. It is a full meal for a day bc of how heavy it is. Others have sworn of its dietary integrity.

Of course you can also make it vegan. There are sausages based on other ingredients like beans, but like always it is up to you.

[gaygentbrontosaurus]

what Haikyuu characters smell like

…. because i’m sick of the sandalwood - vanilla bullshit, they're all in high school, they all smell like Axe or sweat

Hinata Shouyou

doesn't shower, but probably still has baby sweat so he doesn't stink

Kageyama Tobio

smells like Nivea cream. Very clean, very nice but also big baby vibes

Tsukishima Kei

showers with what his mom packed him so probably some organic oat-scented shit

Yamaguchi Tadashi

actually cares about his products and smells nice for a teenager but nobody notices

Ennoshita Chikara

Axe. Because everyone is using it, not because he thinks it's cool.

Nishinoya Yuu

doesn't shower. Also Axe.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

showers sometimes, but only when his sister says that he stinks. Axe.

Azumane Asahi

one of the only people that actually smell attractive. definitely had an Axe phase in middle school tho. 

Sugawara Koushi

the only one on the team with a fresh shirt every practice, smells like fresh laundry

Sawamura Daichi

dad smell, like 3 in 1 hair, body, face and working in the garage

Iwaizumi Hajime

responsible adult, has a nice cologne and doesn't use too much of it, just enough. buys body wash in bulk because it’s cheaper and more convenient.

Oikawa Tooru

smells like everything. has a nice (in his opinion) perfume, strongly scented floral body wash, citrusy shampoo and coconut body butter. he is living his best life but everyone has to deal with his smell that enters the room before he does.

Matsukawa Issei & Hanamaki Takahiro

bought Axe and “manly man” body wash for shits and giggles and “ironically” use them. but in the end they still smell like Axe. also yes they bought one of each and share everything.

Yahaba Shigeru

easily impressed by Oikawa, also experiments with different smells but thankfully he’s more subtle with it

Kyoutani Kentarou

Axe.

Terushima Yuuji

Axe.

Aone Takanobu

nice, subtle scent, smells cozy.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

soap is soap, so also Axe.

Tendou Satori

either washes with just water or has a very specific and complicated hair care routine. there is no inbetween. smells like sandalwood and no one knows why.

Shirabu Kenjirou

Axe.

Daishou Suguru

you would think he’s edgy and different, but deep down we all know he uses Axe.

Miya Atsumu

Axe. He is THE prime Axe user. if someone thinks it's cool and manly it's Miya Atsumu.

Miya Osamu

Axe. but one of the milder ones

Suna Rintarou

doesn’t care. Axe.

Haiba Lev

stole his dads fancy cologne, which would be nice and all if he didn’t shower with a chocolate-scented body wash.

Kozume Kenma

long haired gamer. doesn’t shower. probably borrows deodorant from someone on the team because he didn’t pack any and doesn’t care how he smells. so Axe.

Yamamoto Taketora

doesn’t shower. Axe.

Kuroo Tetsurou

token “manly highschooler smell”. overuses Calvin Klein cologne. but shower gel? Axe. ironically watches the alpha male self care routines but secretly notes the shit down.

Yaku Morisuke

buys his products in those mom shops, all his products smell nice like lavender, jasmine or cotton and are vegan, clean and non-gmo.

Akaashi Keiji

takes care of himself. uses basic products, but has a separate product for everything, doesn’t believe in the 3 in 1 (actually uses a conditioner and face wash). smells like he showers regularly so the rest of the team is greatly impressed.

Bokuto Koutarou

Axe. douses himself with the deodorant. definitely had a tutti frutti phase in the past 2 years.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

rubbing alcohol, uses only hypoallergenic, non-scented products.

Yachi Hitoka

bought a strawberry-scented soap because it looked really cute. doesn’t like the scent at all but still uses it because she is anxious to tell her mom to get her a new one.

Shimizu Kiyoko

smells very feminine, uses fancier brands with floral smells.

Ukai Keishin

cigarettes. bought cologne to impress women but rarely uses it.

Takeda Ittetsu

laundry detergent. always has clean clothes and changes often.

[butchcarmy]

ALEXITHYMIA CH 5: detergent, thrifting, and cake

Roommate AU: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Chapter Rating: T (11k)

ao3 link, ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4

Chapter Summary: It’s his roommate’s birthday this week, and Carmy doesn’t find out until it’s a couple days away. Once he finds they’re unluckily spending their birthday alone, he makes it his mission to make their lonely day better. It’s the least he can do. Little does he know how much more he has to discover about them and about himself.

Tags: reader having trauma, carmy having trauma, toxic families, domesticity

A/N: It’s time… it’s time. I said last chapter was the longest…just kidding. THIS ONE is the longest, and it was hardest to write so far. The duo gets to have a lot of fun this chapter, though! arguably the most so far! A lot of domestic goodness and good food and shopping! Until… :)

also HUGE shoutout to @justaconsequence on tumblr for being my beta reader for this chapter! she was so kind and so helpful. this behemoth of a fic is too much for me to proofread on my own. anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy! can't wait to hear what y'all think!

Typically, by this time on Monday morning, Carmy's usually three cigarettes deep into paperwork, urgently (and poorly) calculating the sales the restaurant needs to make this week to stay afloat. Because even though it's a Sunday closing activity, he never seems to find the occasion to get around to it, and by 10 pm, he doesn't have the capacity to be crunching numbers. 

Not that 8 am is much better. At least he's not dissecting the debt this morning—he's studying detergent prices.

“Why is this one, like, almost 20 dollars?” Carmy stops reading the price tags and glances over at his roommate, who's squinting at products on upper shelves. The lights are always too bright in this place. “And for such a small bottle…”

“Pre-mixed organic sulfate-free 100% vegan bleach,” Carmy reads dully. 

“So stupid.” They shake their head. “Does grocery shopping ever depress you?”

“Usually,” he replies dryly. “Inflation is pretty depressing.”

“Don’t even get me started. Capitalism in general depresses me.”

“Hm, yeah. That too.” He sighs through his nose and tries to refocus. He's having a hard time processing all the numbers and letters today. “You see any unscented detergent? Somethin’ mild?”

“Um…” They crane their neck up and down, and then they crouch on the ground. They pick up a white bottle. “How's this? It's like, 8 dollars. It's not name-brand, but…”

“You know I don't care.” He kneels with them, huddling in close. They smell faintly of a sweet, yet musky perfume. He reminds himself to focus on the detergent, not the way they smell (even if it's far more interesting). “Yeah, this looks good. Thank you.”

“For your vintage denim, right?” They stand up to put the detergent in their shopping cart, which is barely separated with his stuff vs. theirs. He doesn't understand why his face grows warm at their comment, but it does. 

“Uh, yeah. It is.” If the blush shows on his face, they graciously don't comment. “Although I'll admit I don't get around to washing them as much as I should.”

“You're not supposed to wash jeans that often anyway, right?” They lean their elbows onto the rickety cart as they push it, and he ambles along next to them, matching the slow, relaxed pace of their walk. 

“Yeah, but I really…” The implications are clear. They fail in suppressing a laugh, and it makes him smile. “And I’m supposed to hand wash them, so.”

“Oh, so what you're saying is that you never wash them,” they tease.

“That is not at all what I'm saying.” They make an unimpressed face. “I do laundry, it's just…”

“Not often,” they supply helpfully. He tries to come up with something, but he's got nothing. “It's okay, I understand.”

“I promise I wash my clothes,” he mumbles, wilting. 

“I know.” There's that new smile he's grown to recognize more clearly. It's this mischievous one they get when they’re teasing him, and it's so cute he doesn't have any room in him to get even a little irritable. “I've seen you do laundry maybe once or twice.”

“Hey,” he says, warning, and they laugh and run ahead of him, the squeaky wheels of the cart giggling alongside them. 

After the night he almost burned down their apartment, he had felt different. It was like a switch being flipped, light abruptly filling up a dark room, and he's been squinting, struggling to adjust. But as he walks with them today, grocery shopping lit by blinding white fluorescents, he finds that he can see them rather clearly. 

The connection between the two of them is tangible, palpable. It's workable pasta dough that's been kneaded to uniformity. The dough is malleable, clean, and when he touches it, sticky, glutenous residue doesn't cover his palms. When he catches at them peeking over their shoulder to make sure he's still following them, he chases away the urge to pull them into his arms. He throws the desire into boiling water in hopes that enough pressure will change those feelings into something more palatable. He's not sure if it's working.

Something happened when he hugged them that Saturday night. He doesn't dare name what that “something” is, but it's rising from where it's sitting at the bottom of the pot, just about to hit the surface—

“Hey, I gotta get some stuff in this aisle.” Carmy snaps out of it and follows them as they veer the cart to the left. He raises his eyes to read the categories on the sign.

“You bakin’ somethin’?” They both move out of the way for an oncoming cart.

“Yeah, was thinking about it.” They halt to a stop in front of the boxed cake mix and step back to fully peruse the shelves. He stands next to them, and they glance at him out of the corner of their eye. “You’re not judging me for getting box mix, are you?”

“Not at all,” he answers honestly. “Food is always better when made from scratch, but box mix has its uses. Besides, I’m not a baker.”

“That’s true, but I’m sure you still make an insane cake.” Carmy’s aware he can’t make them unsee his flash of a smile, but he still shrugs. “Sure, stay humble.”

“I try. What’s the occasion?”

“Ah, nothing much. It’s just my birthday.”

“Oh, okay.” 

…And he's about to move on, just as casually as it came, but then the processing finishes.

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” They ask confusedly. 

“Is it your birthday today?”

“No, um, it’s this Thursday.” He exhales in palpable relief. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He hates at how worked up he sounds.

“Um…” Their face is twinged with guilt. “...There was never a good time to bring it up?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be getting upset.” He sighs, shakes his head. “I just feel like I should’ve known, I guess.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. I never brought it up. Um…” Their hands are fiddling with the edges of their sleeves. “I just have complicated feelings about my birthday.”

“Ah, I see. I get that.” That, he can understand. “Is it all the gifts and stuff?”

“Kinda. It’s a part of it.” They lean down to grab a box of devil’s food cake, and that makes him remember that they’re in a grocery store. Not quite the best place for a personal conversation like this. They’re being vague, but he won’t press. Not right now.

“You shouldn’t be baking for yourself on your birthday,” Carmy mutters. They smile at that, but it’s different. It’s heavy with melancholy. 

“It’s alright. I’m gonna be celebrating with my friends this weekend, just not on my actual birthday.” His conflicted expression persists. “It’s okay, really. It’s just a day. It’ll be enough of a present to not have to go into work.”

“Put that back,” he blurts out. “I’ll make you a cake.”

“Don’t you work?” Their eyebrows are arched in surprise. “You really don’t—”

“I know I don’t. But I want to. I do work, yeah, but I’ll, I’ll get someone to cover me.” He’s never said those words before in his life, and now that they’re out, he can’t take them back. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t want to take them back. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Of course,” they reply quickly. 

“Then let me do this. Please.” He has no idea where this courage is coming from. “I want to. I know I'm always working, but I really…” Their eyes are wide with wonder, yet watchful. It shouldn't make him falter, but it does. His heart stutters and whatever bravado briefly gripped him fades away. “I’m…probably being too pushy right now. Tell me to fuck off?”

“I’m not gonna tell you to fuck off for wanting to bake me a cake,” they laugh, easing his worries like they always do. “C’mon, Carm.”

“So, uh, is that a yes, or…?”

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not trying to ask you to take off of work for my birthday,” they start carefully, “but I wouldn’t object to it. So, yeah. It’s a yes.”

“Okay.” He can’t help his giddy smile. There's someone saying you look stupid like this, but he’s with them, and it makes everything else silent. “Okay, good.”

“You’re…being super sweet about all this.” He doesn’t understand why—maybe it’s the way they say it—but hearing that makes his neck go hot. 

“I mean…friends do stuff like this, don’t they?” 

“Only the good ones.” They beam beautifully at him. He hasn’t done anything to warrant their affection, he thinks, but the feeling of their smile is so warm. He can’t resist soaking in it.

He's glad that lady luck blessed him just enough to stop their birthday from passing him by. He's been itching for an opportunity to repay them for all the bullshit they've had to take from him as of recent (although he knows if he brought it up, they would say it wasn't anything worth repaying). They deserve something good from him for once, not panic attacks and nightmares. 

He just wishes he could figure out why they were going to spend their birthday alone. He knows them a lot better now, but there's still so much left shrouded. He wants to know them inside and out—he wants to learn what makes them tick, what keeps them up at night, what makes them happy. He wants to know all of it in its entirety, to fill in the gaps in the puzzle he doesn't have the pieces for.

He has some of the pieces. He understands that their relationship with their family to his—distant, strained, and difficult. Unfortunately, that’s about it. He doesn’t know any of the specifics. It’s not like he’s talked to them about his family outside of the off-handed bitter remarks, just as they have, but he finds that this fact leaves him dissatisfied.

He just hopes that they'll let him in. He's not sure if they will, but…he's gonna try. He has to. He's sick of not trying.

. . . . .

“You want to take off?” Richie’s staring at Carmy like he’s grown a second head. They're taking a smoke break in the back. “I don’t know what sort of doppelganger bullshit this is, but if you’re trying to pretend to be Carmen, you’re doing a shit job.”

“Very funny, jackass,” Carmy mutters. “I’m being serious. This Thursday.”

“All day?” Carmy grimaces, but he nods. Richie shakes his head. “You’re being weird. Really fuckin’ weird.”

“I know I shouldn’t. It’s a bad idea, but—”

“Cousin, no, that’s not at all what’s goin’ on here,” Richie interrupts, and Carmy’s at a loss for words. “This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

“What?” Carmy squints at him. “Are you being serious?”

“‘Course I’m serious. I’m always serious.” Carmy decides not to comment on that. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to get you off this ship for just one fucking second?”

“As the owner of this place, you’ve tried way too many times,” he replies dryly. 

“Uh, as the original co-owner of this place, you don’t listen to me enough.” Again, Carmy decides not to elaborate on that one. It’s not worth it. “Take the day off. I was running it fine before, and I’ll keep running it.”

“No, no, we’re not saying that, it was not fine,” Carmy starts, but Richie’s already flipping him off. 

“Whatever, I already know, new fucking system and all that. Don’t get anxiety or whatever over it, that’s why you got Syd hustling shit your way, right?” 

“Uh.” Carmy didn’t realize that Richie had even been paying attention to the new hierarchy in the restaurant, let alone respecting it in any capacity. “Yeah, she is.”

“Then it’s fine.” Richie blows smoke in his face, and Carmy swats it away with a glare. “It was fine when you came in an hour late today, wasn’t it?” 

“You guys knew I wasn’t gonna come in until later,” Carmy argues, defensive (although he’s not sure if there’s actually anything to argue about). 

“Exactly.” Richie sighs all of a sudden, a long one that sounds like it’s bone deep. “Carm. Let me be straight with you. You need to do this. Okay? No backing out of this one.”

“Why’re you sayin’ this? What are you sayin’?” 

“It’s ‘cause of your roommate, right? This Thursday?”

“...Yeah.” Carmy pales. “How did you—?”

“Fuckin’ knew it,” Richie says, grinning. “It was obvious.”

“No way. I didn’t say shit.”

“You didn’t need to.” Richie flicks the ash off his cigarette. “They’re changin’ you, man. We can all see it.”

“...” Carmy can’t deny that. He doesn't have time to ponder on that right now. “Is it really okay?”

“Yeah, you could stand to have an attitude adjustment.”

“I wasn’t talking about that, asshole. I was talking about Thursday.”

“Yes, for fuck’s sake, it’s completely fine.” Richie claps a hand on his shoulder, solid in its grip. It makes Carmy’s eyes snap to him, mostly in confusion. “So what’s the occasion? Must be important.”

“It’s their birthday. I mean, I could just go home early that day, but—”

“Yo, if you’re gonna take off, don’t halfass it—”

“That’s not what I was gonna say. When I’m here, I can’t seem to find my way out. This place…it just has a way of trapping you in.” He doesn’t expect Richie to nod, but he does. “I know if I don’t take the whole day off, I’ll never get out of here in time. Not until it’s too late.”

For some reason, that makes Richie laugh. 

“Yeah. That's it.” Richie shakes his head as smoke trails out of his mouth. “That’s just it, man. You have to make time for the things that’re important. Even the recitals where you have to listen to five year olds play twinkle twinkle little star 20 times. You can’t miss shit like this. Because once you miss it, it’s gone.”

“Rich.” Carmy wants to say something to make that haunted expression leave Richie's face, but he doesn't come up with anything in time.

“Don’t give me that look.” Richie’s hand falls from his shoulder. “I’m just tryin’ to stop you from fucking shit up. They actually seem like a good person.”  

“Y’think so?”

“I do. You?”

“Yeah.” Carmy doesn’t bother hiding his smile, even though he can already sense Richie’s teasing coming from a mile away. “They’re a really good friend.”

“Friend. Sure.” Richie snorts. 

“Don’t push it,” and for some reason he adds, “they were gonna spend it alone.”

“Huh. Sociable guy like them spending it alone?”

“I know. I didn't ask. Maybe I should've.”

“Maybe. I dunno, cousin. Everyone's got their secrets. Especially the ones that try to act like they don't have any.”

“You're strangely full of wisdom today.”

“Fuck right off,” Richie responds in regular Richie fashion.

“I think they're like me. Like us.” Carmy's not sure why he's saying this on a Monday afternoon at work out of all times, but the truth bursts out of him beyond his will. Richie's expression shifts into something more solemn, something recognizable. “Y'know what I mean.”

“...Yeah.” Richie claps his hand on Carmy's back again. “Shitty parents club.”

As Carmy stands there in the back, feet sore and tobacco in the air, he sees his childhood in flashes. He's five years old again and is following Mike around with scuffed sneakers and untamed hair, although he supposes that unruliness never truly changed with time. There's warm sunlight filtering through green summer leaves. He hears his mother behind him, somewhere, but maybe he doesn't. 

He thinks of home, of his bedroom, and it is cold. He has homework he’s failed to complete again. It's sitting on his desk, on top of all of the other shit he can't finish. There's screaming, and he's not listening.

He blinks. He’s 30, and he hasn’t talked to his mom since Michael died.

“Shitty parents club,” Carmy repeats hollowly. 

. . . . .

When Thursday morning arrives, Carmy ends up greeting his roommate with flour in his hair and eggs sizzling on the pan. 

“Um,” they say, just as Carmy goes “G'morning.” They both freeze, brief awkwardness circling between them before it dissipates with their breathless laugh.

“Good morning. I didn't think you'd actually take off,” they admit.

“I said I would,” he replies quietly, but it's not accusatory. How many times had he said he'd be home for dinner just for him to arrive when they're already asleep? He tries not to make empty promises anymore. Nonetheless, he understands their surprise. “Um, I'm almost done with breakfast. I didn't get to the coffee yet.”

“Am I supposed to be offended?” They laugh. “That's the least I can do, with you doing all of this.” They sluggishly shuffle behind him to reach down into some kitchen cabinets. “It's a special day, so I'll even make us pour overs.”

“That's true. It is special.” He peeks over his shoulder, pausing from basting the eggs in brown butter to see them setting up on the kitchen island. They gently place the hourglass-shaped glass onto the counter with a light clink. He silently switches the button on for the electric gooseneck kettle to his right. “Am I allowed to wish you a happy birthday, or should I not?”

“Hm, I don't mind. Just don't overdo it, which I doubt you will.” They pull out a bag of coarse ground coffee and a filter. As soon as they open the bag, he can smell the sweet scent of the light roast floating towards him. 

“Okay. Then, happy birthday,” he says as casually as he can.

“Thanks, Carmy.” He studies their expression, searching for annoyance in their content expression, but he doesn't find any. “That's not even really what I meant by today being special, though.”

“How else did you mean it?” The eggs are done. He reaches over the hot pan to cut the heat.

“Well, y'know. I dunno if we’ve ever had a full day off together.” They're carefully scooping grounds into the filter fitted on top of the glass, creating a small hill. “I think I managed to catch you coming home early on my off days sometimes, but never a full day.”

“Huh.” Carmy has to take a minute to think about that one. “Yeah, I don't know either. I think you're right.”

“Then, like I said. It's special.” They seal up the bag of coffee grounds, and then they frown. “Shit. I forgot to turn on the kettle. Can you—”

“Already did it,” he reports, pleased, and his sense of accomplishment only doubles at their sigh of relief. 

“Thank god.” There's the familiar clicking sound of the kettle reaching the perfect temperature. “Just in time, too. Can you hand it to me?”

“Yes, chef,” he says, because it always makes them laugh. Today is no exception. He slides the metallic kettle over to them. 

“So what delights did you whip up over there?” They ask. They begin pouring the almost boiling water over their coffee grounds in a slow circle, gradually inching towards the middle. “It smells amazing. I want the full break-down.”

“The full break-down, got it.” On two circular plates, he's carefully placing a fried egg, thick cut bacon, and a slice of toast with jam and butter. “Uh…it's nothin’ special, just stuff we had in the fridge. We've got a, uh, brown-butter fried egg with a little paprika, sage, pepper, salt…”

“Oh, just an egg made with liquid gold, no big deal,” they imitate.

“Cut it out,” he snips back, but he's smiling and they know it. “There's honestly not much to it. This thick-cut bacon was in the back, so I cooked the rest of it. And the toast is just brioche with salted honey butter and blueberry jam.”

“Carmy. C'mon. That's nothing special to you?”

“I mean.” It's not quite nothing, he thinks. “I can make nicer breakfasts, is all.”

“That's what you said when you made me garlic bread, and that fucking blew my mind.” They set the kettle down with a thunk. The glass is full of dark coffee. Prepped next to them is their favorite glass mug alongside Carmy's. He's not sure how they knew that it was his favorite, but he doesn't question it.

“I'm just letting you know that you should wait to be really impressed.” 

“Too fucking late, man.” He's turned around and placed the two breakfast platters on the kitchen island, and they gawk openly at it. “Holy fuck.”

“It's ready,” he says, surprisingly meek. He can't comprehend why anxiety's hitting him now of all times. He's served acclaimed food critics, top-security government officials, and celebrities more times than he can count. Before that audience, he never faltered, but in front of his roommate in their crumpled pajamas, his heart stutters. 

“Oh, wow…” They regard the food with undeserved softness. Like a punctured balloon, his anxiety immediately begins deflating. They're staring at the food like it's a painting in a museum. “You seriously didn't have to do all of this.”

“I know. I just wanted to.” He feels heat on the back of his neck. “Is…is that okay?”

“It's more than okay.” Suddenly, he notices their eyes are puffy, like they were crying. “Goddamnit, get over here.” 

He only registers what's about to happen for one second before they're hugging him. Their palms are on his back, and the top of their head tucks under his chin perfectly. He makes a small, surprised noise. 

“I, I'm glad you like it.” He links his arms around them, allows himself to rest his chin on their head. With their face turned to the side, their ear's pressed up against his chest, and he's instantly struck with the paranoia that they're gonna hear his rapid heartbeat. 

“I haven't even taken a bite yet, and I love it.” They lean back then, arms still wrapped around him and head craned upwards to look at him. It's far too intimate for what they are, and Carmy hates how his heart beats even harder. “Thank you for doing all this. Seriously. I…”

“The breakfast's just a side thing, I'm, um, still baking you a cake.”

“What? You're doing this and a cake?”

“Um,” Carmy repeats intelligently.

“Carmy. Carmy, Carmy, Carmy.” Their words ooze affection, but surely he's just imagining it. Their hands are crawling up his back. “God, I could just ki—”

“There's the timer,” Carmy blurts out, because his phone's ringing and so are his ears. At the sound, they let him go, and he grabs two towels to retrieve the two circular cake pans from the oven. A toothpick poked through the middle comes out clean, so he sets them on a wire rack to cool. 

He needs to focus on the cakes. That's the most important thing.

“Oh my god.” They lean in close to the cake and take a deep breath. “Is this—”

“Devil's food cake, yeah.” The heat searing his face is surely from opening the oven. 

“You—how did you—” Their smile is luminous with joy. “You really pay attention to every little thing, don't you?”

“Sometimes. When it counts.” He fidgets awkwardly, nails picking at the sides of his fingers. “Wanna eat by the window, or…?”

“Fuck yeah I do. Can you bring the plates over? I'll have the coffee over in just a second.”

Carmy sets up at their little table first, placing the plates just right across from one another. The morning sun casts a cozy glow through their speckled window, streaking planes of light across the floor. He patiently waits and watches them pace from the fridge to the counter, splashing cream into their mugs. Through the transparent glass, he watches the white fizzle into the dark coffee, blending into a warm brown.

“Just a tiny spoon of sugar for you, right?” They peek over their shoulder, catching his stare, and he nods. He's also not quite sure how they know that, either. They've had coffee in the morning maybe a handful of times before.

He supposes they also pay attention sometimes, when it counts.

“Alright, here we go.” They bring a mug in each hand and set them delicately down on the table. He notes that his coffee is the perfect color. “Oh, thanks for waiting. You didn't have to.”

“I, I guess so, yeah. It's just, uh, you always wait for me, so…”

“That's—that's true.” An odd tension sets in their face, but they laugh it off, and it disappears. “I guess I’m not used to it anymore.”

A part of him wants to ask further by what they meant by that, but they're already taking pictures of his food so dutifully. He doesn't want to ruin it, so he eats. 

It's nice to have a solid breakfast for once. He had taken their advice from the other night and had been drinking milk with protein powder. It was nice not to feel like he was teetering the edge by lunch time, but truthfully, it was a bit unsavory. This breakfast platter is much more palatable. It also helps that his stomach pains aren't active today. 

Time rolls by slowly this quiet morning, and Carmy recognizes the oddity of it immediately. It's clear to see when by this time, he's usually already done at least ten laps through the restaurant. An irritating signal in his brain is telling him that he needs to get up and do something, not sit around and eat, but for once, he doesn't want to listen. 

A memory from roughly two weeks ago (or was it one week?) unearths all of sudden. He was up early, drinking shitty coffee and sinking into dissociation. Mornings were lonely, as he was usually the only one up, but not that day. His roommate came stumbling into the kitchen, awake from a restless night. They chatted before he had to head out, and he remembers wishing he had more time in the morning to spend with them. 

He imagined a morning just like this one, with pajamas, food, and messy hair. He daydreamed about having all the time in the world, and he thought about getting to spend it all with them. Now he’s sitting in that moment he imagined, except that it’s real. They're across from him in their wrinkled pajamas and bedhead, contentedly mowing through their food. There's a smear of jam on the corner of their mouth. He takes a sip of his coffee, and it's perfect, just as they made it for him. 

This amount of good should scare him, needs to scare him, but he just can't bring himself to care anymore. He wants more than nightmares, cigarettes, and floating just above the budget. He wants this.

He tastes his coffee and reminds himself that he’s still here. The moment hasn’t passed him by. 

“Is it good?” He asks quietly. It’s a rhetorical question, it always is, but he can’t help himself. He wants to hear it from them. 

“So. Fucking. Good.” They have to finish chewing before they answer. “You always knock it out of the park. If this is the prelude, I don’t know if I can handle what’s next,” they say, gesturing towards the cooling cake.

“It won’t be ready for a while yet. You have time to prepare yourself.” That makes them smile. All according to plan. “Got anything in mind for today?”

“Nothing glamorous. I was just gonna go out for a little. Go thrifting, maybe watch a movie later. Smoke a joint.” They shrug. “Just my usual sort of thing.”

“Mm.” He dusts off crumbs from the toast off his fingers on his pants. “Sounds like a good time. You still wanna go?”

“I do, yeah.” They stare at him for a moment, as if processing his words. Or just him. “Do you…wanna tag along, or…?”

Whenever they ask him if he wants to spend time together (whether it’s grocery shopping, smoking, or watching a show), they usually offer it with an air of nonchalance. Carmy’s assumed it’s been out of politeness, restraining their expression as to not put any pressure onto him. That’s the person he’s used to, not this uneasy anxiety, someone afraid to ask him to spend time with them.

It reminds him of himself in every way. 

“I’d love to tag along,” he answers easily, just as they’ve always done for him. “I’ve got the whole day off, after all.”

“Right. ‘Course.” He watches their little smile double in size. “I promise to not make you watch me try on clothes for too long.”

“I wouldn’t mind. I like thrifting, y’know.” And you, he thinks to himself. 

“You do? Oh, of course—” They make a contemplative noise to themself. “Vintage denim. I always wondered how you managed to have so many pairs.”

“Once you know where to look, they’re pretty easy to find. I can help you find some, if you want.”

“I’d love that. I realized the other day that I don’t have any dark wash jeans, so—actually, the truth is that I do have a pair, but they’re so fucked up and old that I never wear them anymore. Anyway, I need new jeans. Think you could find some dark wash blue jeans for me?”

“If you’re willing to hit up more than one store, then definitely,” he replies, just a smidge cocky.

“I’m willing to hit up even two more stores.” He pretends to gasp, to which they nod confidently. “Yeah. That’s right. Maybe even three.”

“We won’t need three,” Carmy promises. “I’m better than that. Probably won’t even need two, but…” He shrugs. “We’ll see what they’ve got.”

“Okay, Mr. Confident over here,” they tease. “Let’s see what you’ve got!”

They head out after they both clean the kitchen and freshen up. Carmy gets the flour out of his hair and rewets his hair to revive some of his curls. He silently thanks his past self for showering the night before. With the passage of the morning cold and the rising sun, the afternoon weather’s become brisk and pleasant. However, the weather’s barely a factor in how he’s dressing. 

Is this too much? Is this not enough? He’s switching shirts and pants in the mirror like he’s about to go on a date. He knows he’s not, swears to himself that he’s not, but he’s put product in his hair and cologne on his wrists and temples. It’s not a date, but he can’t fucking decide what to wear. 

He sucks it up and settles on a gray sweater, light wash blue jeans, and white sneakers. From under his collar and at the bottom of his sweater peeks out a brown button up. It’s probably too much, but this is his sixth outfit change. He’s fed up with it and himself.

After adjusting the gold chain that got hidden under his collar, he steps out. 

He finds them already waiting by the door in this thick knit cardigan and fitted plaid pants that makes his heart stutter. When they hear him approaching, their head snaps up from their phone, and their skin sparkles with touches of makeup. 

“You look really nice.” He has no idea how he let that slip, but he’s more shocked that he didn’t stutter once. 

“Ah, th—thank you,” they stammer, fingers fidgeting with the edge of their sleeve. He’s not sure if it's their makeup or their skin that’s doing the blushing. It’s nice to see them being the one tripping over their words for once. “You look pretty handsome yourself.”

“Oh. Um.” Handsome? It echoes in his head. He instantly feels self conscious. So much for being the more suave one for once. “Thanks, uh…I just didn’t wanna wear my work clothes,” he lies in an attempt to ease his embarrassment.

“I gotcha.” He’s glad they don’t challenge him on it. “Shall we head out?”

“Yeah. Where we headed first?”

They take the metro to their personal favorite shop a little up north. The metro’s surprisingly busy for a Thursday afternoon, but the crowd forces the two of them to be huddled next to each other. They’re both standing close to a pole by the window, each with one hand wrapped around the metal. 

As passengers come and go, they step closer to him to move out of the way. Eventually it just gets to a point where they’re standing nearly pressed up against his chest. He tries not to dwell on how that makes him feel, but he can smell the fragrance they put on, and it’s very distracting. 

Luckily, the ride is short. Any longer on the train, he might’ve put an arm around their shoulder, god forbid. 

“If we can’t find what I’m looking for here, maybe you can show me one of your favorite spots to go thrifting,” they say as they enter the thrift store. The interior is decorated, clean, and lovely, and unlike the metro, it’s not packed to the brim with people. It smells faintly of incense, and there’s local art framed all over the walls for sale. It oozes warmth and excitement, much like them. 

“There’s a ton of shit here, so maybe we won’t need to after all.” He finds himself intaking everything at once, eyes flickering from sign to sign. “I’ve never been here before. This is really cool.”

“It’s my favorite place to find new clothes.” They trail down the racks, finger flitting between clothes. “I hope you can find something you like here, too.”

“I’m sure I will.” He’s already walking to their denim section and immediately spots some contenders. “I think I already have.”

He’s not sure if they mean to spend hours in there, but he certainly does. There’s more than just clothes to look at, although that’s what takes up most of his time. There’s dishes, furniture, cds, vinyls, books, even electronics. He goes back and forth with them, clothing articles piling up in his arms as they sit on battered couches together and peruse scratched cds. Everywhere he looks, there’s just more, more, and more. 

“Okay, I’ve gotta cut myself off,” they say as they leave the furniture section. They’ve sat on nearly every chair in that place. “I already have so many clothes to try on, and that’s not even including the jeans you’ve picked out for me.”

“If it helps, some of these are mine.” Carmy flips through the layers of hanging jeans that have built up on his forearm. “If you can believe it, I even found some stuff that isn’t denim.”

“I’m not sure if I can, but seeing is believing.” They thumb through some long-sleeves he’s carrying that are seeping out from under the jeans. “I’m just glad you were able to find some stuff for yourself, too. Not that I was that worried.”

He hands them the jeans he’s found for them, all dark wash and in their size. To his surprise, they also hand him an article of clothing for him to try on. 

“I thought you’d look good in this. You’ll have to show me when you try it on,” they say, and it’s innocent, completely meaningless, but as soon as Carmy agrees and rushes to hide in the changing room, he views in the mirror and sees his flushed face. 

Doesn’t mean anything, he repeats to himself, over and over and over. Stop getting in over your head.

He tries on his items of choice first. The first is a dark green henley that looked better on the rack than it did him, so he puts it in the reject pile. The second is a dark blue long sleeve that fits just right. It’s cheap, too, so it’s an automatic purchase. He presumes the way to word it is that it hugs him in all the right places, but he’s not sure. The rest are jeans, of which only one he decides to buy. A bit pricey, but for the brand and year, it’s worth it (although he basically always uses this reasoning with himself). 

Now, for the piece of clothing they picked out for him. It’s a dark brown t-shirt that seems like it’s just the right length. It’s a muted, yet warm brown, a bit rosey in hue. He doesn’t realize it’s a v-neck until he gets it over his head and down his shoulders. 

“I’ve never worn a v-neck before,” he calls out to the room next to him. 

“Oh, are you trying it on? Do you like it?” Their slightly muffled voice calls back to him. 

“Um…I’m not sure,” he admits with a shaky laugh. The collar is lower than he’s used to. It dips below his collarbones, and between them dangles his chain. “Should I show you?”

“Yes! Hold on, lemme get some pants on. …Okay, I’m stepping out!”

He hears their door open alongside his. When they see him, their expression snaps into what he believes is surprise and delight. He’s sure he looks somewhat the same. 

They’re wearing one of the vintage jeans he picked out for them—dark blue Levi’s. Although they’re rolled up a couple times at the bottom, it seems to fit them just right. As he stares, he’s reminded of his many pairs of Levi’s, and it’s more or less like seeing them in his clothes, which is. Which is. Uh. Yeah.

“I knew that would suit you,” they say with a grin, to which he realizes he can’t hide his blush. 

“It’s not weird?”

“Not at all. It looks good.” They tilt their head to the side as they openly look him over, hip cocked. Something in their gaze is making him hot. “No pressure to buy it, of course.”

“It’s different from what I’m used to, but…” He looks down, smooths the fabric with his palm. “It’s kinda nice, something like this. Um, and what do you think about the jeans?” He needs to direct the attention off him quickly. 

“Oh, I love them. The others ended up fitting not quite right on me, but that’s how it goes.” They move from side to side, almost twirling. It’s cute. “I love these, though. Just a little long, but I’m used to it.”

“That’s how it always is. I can hem them for you, if you want. I usually hem mine.”

“And he sews,” they say, seemingly to themself, but they’re looking right at him. Embarrassing. “If you don’t mind, that’d be amazing. Either way, I’m probably getting them.”

“Good. You should. They fit well.” 

“Yeah?” They glance back into their fitting room, likely examining themself in the mirror, and then back at him. “Okay, then. Definitely getting them.” With that and a cheeky grin, they go back into their dressing room to try on the rest of their clothes. Carmy follows suit, grateful to hide his embarrassed face. 

Carmy heads to check out with the dark blue long sleeve, a pair of jeans, and the brown v-neck. They’ve decided on the pair of jeans they showed him earlier and a little purple tank-top he wishes he got to see on them. 

“Will that be all for you today?” The cashier asks him as he checks out first. Even the cashiers here are pretty nice, he finds. 

“Oh, their stuff, too.” He nods to them, who’s standing right next to him. 

“Carmy.” They glare at him. 

“What?” He feels himself smiling. 

“You can’t do this to me.”

“C’mon.” He nudges them gently with his elbow. “It’s my present to you.”

“Oh, so the present wasn’t the breakfast? Or the cake? Or helping me pick these out?”

“Why can’t it be all of them?” He decides to stop this in its tracks and takes the clothes out of their hands, sliding it onto the counter. “Just these two, and that’ll be it.”

“Just you wait until your birthday hits,” they mutter darkly, shaking their head. “Just you wait.”

“I haven’t told you my birthday.” He pauses. “Right?”

“I’ll ask Richie.”

“No, you won’t.”

“You’re giving me no choice.”

“You could also just, I don't know, not ask—”

“I wouldn't have to if you didn't force my hand—”

“You guys are cute together,” the cashier comments with a smile, surely a harmless, meaningless thing, but it shuts the both of them up. Carmy can already feel the impact of it on his psyche, and he decides to tuck away the surging emotions to unpack later. At least, he'll try. 

“You really didn't have to get those for me,” they tell him when they're exiting the store. “But I guess I should just be saying thank you. So…thank you.”

“Sure. I mean, it would've been better if it was wrapped and stuff, but…” He shrugs. “Had to get you a real present, not just food.”

“Not just food, my ass.” That makes him laugh. “It'll be nice to have something to remind me of this day, though. That's one of the nice parts of getting gifts. Everytime I wear these clothes, I'll think of you.”

“Good. Yeah, that's…good,” he finishes lamely. He nods like their words haven't flustered him, but he's sure they can tell. They laugh, and he can tell it's because of his reaction. 

“I'm sorry that the cashier said that,” they say out of nowhere.

“Why're you apologizing? It's not your fault.” Any embarrassment he was feeling before is immediately replaced with a new, more potent sort of embarrassment. He was hoping they wouldn't mention it. 

“I guess that's true. I don't know, I just…” They trail off. “Just hope it didn't upset you.”

“Not at all,” he lies, and he prays they believe it.

. . . . .

The metro is less crowded on the way home. They sit comfortably next to each other and watch the city pass them by. A part of Carmy mourns the closeness they had on the way there, but the other part tells him to get it together and keep his distance. 

“I'mma take a nap,” they say with a yawn. Their cardigan and bag have been tossed onto the couch. The new clothes have been thrown into the laundry machine, and there's the muffled sound of running water. “Maybe we could smoke and watch a movie later, though.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” He peers into the fridge to check on the cake rounds. Just as he left them. “Have a good nap.”

“Thanks, Carm,” they reply sleepily. “Wouldn't be a good day if I didn't get to have a nice nap, after all.” With that, they shuffle into their room and shut the door behind them.

Carmy spends the next two hours flying around the apartment, baking, cooking, cleaning. The sun slowly sets as he goes. He keeps his body and hands moving in hopes that his head doesn't have a chance to catch up, but it manages to keep the pace. It always does.

The crumb coat's fucked up on the left, his first train of thought says. He inspects the surface, eyes following the circumference of the cake. There's a little loose crumb. With the edge of his spatula, he tucks the crumb away. 

The faint smell of chocolate wafts up from the cold cake rounds. He's hunched over the kitchen island, hands reaching between dark chocolate frosting and cake. The afternoon sun casts harsh lights onto the cake, and it glistens. He genuinely can't remember the last time he's made a layered cake. He's never been much of a baker, anyhow. 

You're going to disappoint them, his second train of thought interrupts, running parallel to the other one at full speed. Who do you think you are? You don't make cakes. 

He leans back, inspects his work. The crumb coats are perfect. 

Fuck off, he thinks back, triumphant. Look at that shit. He runs his finger along the spatula, picking up congealed crumbs and frosting. He licks it off, and it's delicious. And it tastes good, asshole. So shut the fuck up.

You're being a nuisance, the thoughts continue. Carmy's pops the crumb coats in the freezer for a quick set. They don't actually like any of this. They're just being nice to make you feel better.

They seemed happy to me, he thinks, but he's faltering. He's washing the dishes, and the sensation of the warm water feels distant. They loved the food I made.

Couldn't you tell they were lying? He doesn't understand why these thoughts are rampaging through his head now of all times. It's not unfamiliar, but it's inconvenient. Keep this up, and you'll actually be surprised when they drop you.

Without warning, a memory hits him . As his hands drip with soap, he's reminded of playing with Michael and Sugar in the summer when he was five. Or six, or seven, he's never quite sure. They were outdoors at a local park, and the heat made the metal of the playground searing hot to the touch.

He was blowing bubbles, and the sticky mixture from the bottle was getting all over his hands. In his memory, Carmy watches the way the iridescent bubbles floated away and left little circles on the surface of the plastic slide. He can't remember why he wasn't playing with the others. He can remember the sound of their laughing voices in the distance, gleeful and delighted without him. He thinks he tried to join in, but it didn't work. It often just didn't work, and it was all his fault. 

The memory ends, and Carmy's finished washing the dishes. 

This is working, he thinks to himself. His hands are dried out from the hot water and soap. I swear to you, it's working. So just stop. Okay?

There's no response. Good enough. 

He hears the door opening as soon as he's putting the finishing touches on the cake. With a damp paper towel, he carefully swipes away stray drops of frosting that fell onto the cake stand. He thinks it's best described as if a tiramisu was turned into a devil's food cake. It's not the best cake he's ever made, but it's definitely up there in terms of looks. All the components of the cake tasted good separately, so he hopes it makes sense in his mouth as much as it did in his head. 

“Have a nice nap?” He asks before he turns his head. They're standing in the hallway, bed hair hastily tied back.

“Sorta. It was okay.” Their eyes are glued onto the cake as they walk up to the island. “Is this…?”

“This is for you, yeah,” he finishes for them. They take a seat on one of the chairs at the island. “It's a, uh, devil's food cake with vanilla mascarpone cream on the inside. The outside's this coffee buttercream…” He trails off, not knowing what else to say. He could mention the dutch processed cocoa powder, the expensive vanilla bean pods, or the endless sifting, but it feels too gratuitous. 

“Wow…” They're still staring, as if it's not quite real to them. “I can't believe this is for me. It almost looks too pretty to eat, but you know I can't wait to tear into this.”

“We could, uh, have it now, if you, if you want,” he says hesitantly. 

“I don't know if I could wait.” Their smile grows wider. “You even put candles on it?”

“We don't have to light them or anything if you don't want to,” he adds quickly. 

“The candles are the fun part. I don't mind that. The song is…okay I guess, but…” They give him an expectant, excited look. “Were you gonna sing for me?”

“...Only if you wanted to,” he mumbles, suddenly stricken with embarrassment. 

“Would that be okay? If I wanted that?”

“I wouldn't mind.” Not if it's you.

“Okay. Then, yeah.” They pull out a lighter from their pocket. “I’d really like that.”

Carmy cuts the overhead lights before taking out his own lighter to help them light the rest of the candles. One by one, the dark room gradually illuminates until it's filled with a warm, orange glow. The flickering flames cast shifting shadows onto their smiling face and reflect into their glossy eyes. 

“Ready?” He asks quietly. 

“I'm ready,” they whisper. 

Carmy doesn't really need to clear his throat, but he does so anyway. He can't recall the last time he sang happy birthday to anyone, let alone by himself. This is the first time he's ever sung in front of an audience, too. 

I can do this, he thinks to himself. I can do this.

His voice is awkward and scratchy. He never uses it like this, has never sang for anyone in his life. His ears burn, and he hates the sound of his voice, but he reminds himself to focus on their delighted little smile and warm gaze. The room is far too quiet for his voice, making the words painfully clear. 

“Happy birthday to you,” he finishes singing, voice trailing off awkwardly. He's more than ready to finish singing now. “Uh, make a wish…?”

“Right.” The two of them sit in the flickering candle light for a moment longer, the silence thick. Carmy watches their face, their eyes boring into the candles with an expression he can only describe as longing. Then, they blow out the candles with a decisive blow, and the room goes dark. 

He moves to switch on the lights. When he turns back to look at them, tears are streaming down their face. 

“Hey,” he says softly. He props his elbows on the counter, standing across from them and tilting his head to the side. They're not meeting his gaze, glazed eyes boring into the dripping candles. “What's wrong?”

“I'm sorry,” they whisper with a sniffle, and it sounds like a reflex. Something about them suddenly seems so much smaller. “I shouldn't be crying.”

“It's okay. I don't mind.” That makes them smile, even if it's shaky. “Was the singing too much?”

“No, it wasn't your singing,” they say with a laugh. “Your singing was lovely. It's just—I'm so happy. You made today so special.”

“Yeah?” He fights the urge to reach over and wipe their tears. “I'm glad. I wanted to make it good. I…” He hesitates. “...I didn't like the idea of you spending it alone.”

“I didn't either. And I thought I was going to have to be alone…but then you—then you took off work, and you made me breakfast, you went shopping with me—even got me clothes—and now this—” Another rush of tears gushes from their eyes, and they hastily wipe at it with their shirt. 

“You've done way more for me. This is the least I could do.” Before he can stop himself, his hand is brushing hair out of their eyes. They freeze for a split second, eyes finally flickering up towards him. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“It's okay,” they whisper back. “Um…” They let out a shaky sigh, the sort of trembling sound that happens after crying too much. “I feel like I should explain.”

“You don't have to if you don't want to,” he assures them quickly, “but I…I'd like to know. If that's okay.”

“I want you to know. I, I do.” They open their mouth to keep talking, but shaky breaths continue to stifle them. It's hard to watch.

“Breathe,” he reminds them, quietly. He visibly takes in a deep breath, silently encouraging them to breathe with him. They follow suit, closing their eyes and taking a slow breath. Tears slip silently from their eyes. Gradually, their breathing becomes less of a staccato, evening out into something much more manageable. 

“Thank you,” they murmur. He nods. They already sound a lot calmer. “I'm not sure where to start. I…I suppose I'll start with today.” Another deep breath. “I didn’t get a call from my parents today.”

“Ah…” The first missing piece.

“I knew they weren’t going to. But a part of me still hoped…” They stop and shake their head. “It's the first year that it's been like this.”

“What happened?”

“Uh…I went no contact with my family about a year ago.” Another pained, hollow laugh. The second piece. “I didn't even really want to—it was a complicated, shitty situation. My parents were being their usual shitty selves, and I just wanted them to apologize. It was over such a small thing, and, and I just…I don't know. I thought maybe I could fix things.” He's never seen them with such a heavy expression, etched with such weariness. “I just wanted them to apologize to me, Carm. That's all I wanted. And then they cut me off cold.”

Their voice is trembling again, and the tears are falling faster. The collar of their shirt is dark with moisture. Carmy hates that he doesn't know what to say. He hates just staring at them, silent as he tries to find the words. 

Suddenly, he thinks of Michael. 

“Michael never let me work in the restaurant,” he tells them. “That's why I went to culinary school. A big part of it, anyway. He just cut me off, didn't let me in no matter what I did, and it was…” He makes a vague hand gesture. “I felt insane. I was so fucking angry. I couldn't understand him. And I'm not saying that's anything like what you've been through, but…” He looks into their watchful eyes. “I'm sorry. I think I'm trying to say that I, that I understand. A little.”

“I…I appreciate that.” They give him a small, wobbly smile. He adores their smile, but seeing it through their tears twists something painfully in his chest. “He would've been lucky to have you. You're an excellent chef.”

“I am now, anyway.” He sighs. “Your family's missing out on you, too. You're…” Say it. Just say it. “You're a really wonderful person. I can't imagine…”

I can't imagine anyone looking at you and not loving what they see, he thinks suddenly, and he instantly realizes he can't say it. He can barely even comprehend that he just thought it. 

He can't process this right now. This isn't the time. 

“I keep trying to wrap my head around it all, wondering what I did wrong, what I could've done better… Sometimes, the conclusion I arrive at is that I must have done something to deserve this. That I just, I don't know, that maybe I'm just this permanent fuck-up, and…” They run a tired hand over their wet face, through their hair. “My parents fucked me up real good, man.”

There's something familiar about their words, and Carmy realizes it's because it sounds like him. He would've never guessed that under their easy-going smiles was a reflection of himself. He recognizes himself in their self-deprecation, the bone-deep pain. There was always a sense of sympathetic connection between the two of them, but he had no idea. He had no idea how far deep the mutual experiences went. 

A part of him still can't believe that this is the truth, that this is what lies at their core, but then he remembers. He thinks about the night they were throwing up into the toilet. They were sobbing, crying into his shoulder about how much they hate themself. 

“You know you didn't deserve it. Right?” Carmy's not sure when they started leaning in so close to each other. He's looking at their wet eyelashes with startling clarity. “You did all you could.”

“You don't know that.” Their words are so soft-spoken, but it still catches him off guard. “You don't know what happened.”

“You—” Irritation prickles inside him, his instincts itching to snap back, but he doesn't. He sees himself in them, and he holds back. “You're right. I don't know what happened. But I know you.” The shock is on their face as clear as day. “At least, I think I do.”

“I want to think you do, too,” they whisper. “But this—this messy bullshit is also me. I wish it wasn't. I wish you didn't have to see all this. I…don't want you to…think any less of me.”

“I don't think there's anything you could do to make me think less of you.” He doesn't resist dragging his thumb across a stray tear on their cheek. To his surprise, they lean into his touch. “Y'know when I almost burned down the apartment?”

“Oh my god.” They smile, and he feels their grinning cheek against his palm. “Yeah. Is it crazy to say I remember it fondly?”

“A little bit.” They laugh. It's quiet, but it's real. “Remember that talk we had after?”

“I do. Why?”

“You're allowed to mess up on onions,” he says softly. “It won't push me away.”

They stare at him for what feels like a long time. Their eyes refill with tears, but they don't spill. With a clammy hand, they shakily place their hand on top of his hand that's still cradling their wet cheek.

“Fucking onions,” they say finally with a wet laugh. Fresh tears drip onto his thumb, and he wipes them away again. As many times as it takes. “God damnit, Carmy.”

“No one deserves to have shitty parents, let alone ones that walk out on them.” He thumbs away more tears. “You being an imperfect person like everyone else doesn't justify that.”

“There must be something more I could've done,” they whisper. “Something I did wrong.”

“Maybe. But they're your parents, not the other way around. It's not your fault.”

“I know. I know that. I do. There just has to be a reason, because—fuck—the truth would just be too fucked up.”

“...And that is?”

It takes a long, still minute before they can get their words out.

“...It’s—it's that—” Their cries are verging on sobs, increasingly more staggered and uncontrollable. “It's that s-some kids—are just—some kids have parents that will never—never love—”

They can't finish. Their sobs have overtaken their whole body. Their body's hunched over the counter, curled into themself. Carmy can't think of a time where he's ever seen them crying so hard.

Without another word, Carmy pulls them into a hug. 

They cry for a long time. Through it all, fleeting condolences pass Carmy by in his head, but they all feel too cheap, too meaningless. So all he does is hold them tight, letting them grab onto his shirt and soak the fabric on his shoulder. It's all he feels he can really do. 

After a while, the tide subsides. He feels them wilting in his arms, exhausted from sobbing so violently. He doesn't actually want to let them go, but their sniffling nose sounds like it's completely stopped up. 

“I'm gonna get you some tissues, ok?” He says quietly. They make a quiet noise of acknowledgement, and they pull back. He snatches up a box of tissues from the coffee table. He places it in front of them before grabbing them a glass of water. 

“Thank you,” they mumble, voice scratchy. Carmy stands and watches as they blow through several tissues. The water gets downed instantaneously. 

“Better?”

“Yeah. A lot better.”

“Good.”

“...I think, deep down, I know I didn't deserve what happened. Or just having shitty parents in general.” They sigh. “It's just easier to think that I do. That I deserve it.”

“...Yeah.” That resonates with a part of him he's not quite ready to acknowledge. “You're one of the kindest people I've ever met,” he admits quietly. “If someone like you deserves a shitty hand in life, I'm fucked.”

“Carmy…” Their smile is small, but genuine. “Thank you. I want to be able to genuinely believe that, one day. I'm going to try.”

“I know. I get it.”

“I know you do.” 

That makes both of them smile, even if it's bitter. 

“Thanks for telling me. About everything.”

“No, thank you for listening. For just being there for me.” They prop their chin in their hands, their elbows resting on the counter. “Y'know, this past year, I've been trying to find a sense of joy in all this mess. Sometimes it just feels so far away, like…like any happiness is just impossible. But I think I've found it. Rather, I've already found it.”

“Yeah?” Carmy looks at them expectantly, but he never expected this—

“I found you,” they tell him. 

“...” He immediately fixes his shocked expression. He's at a loss for words. 

Me?

“I never found a chance to mention it, but…my parents are the reason I decided to live with you. That's why I wanted to be your roommate, even though we were strangers.” They shrug shyly. “My lease was up on my last place. I was gonna go home, but then all that stuff happened at the last minute, and…yeah. I needed to find a place to live.”

“Seriously?” They just nod. “Damn. Uh…Yeah, that's fucking crazy. I had no idea.”

“At the time, I was miserable. I kept thinking to myself, ‘I can't believe how shitty this situation is!’ Don't get me wrong, it was fucking awful, but…it led me to you, so…it wasn't really all that bad, in the end. I got lucky.”

Fucking hell, he thinks to himself. Fuck.

“If you hadn't roomed with me, I wouldn't have been able to come back home for my brother's restaurant,” he says, mostly because he's so embarrassed that he swears his whole body's red at this point. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. “I think I'm the lucky one.”

“Can't we both be lucky?”

“I guess we can. Just doesn't seem very realistic.”

“Little too late to say that. It's already real.”

“...There's no other shoe?”

“Not that I know of. I think the other shoe's already dropped for us a while ago. Surely there's no other shoes left?”

“I hope not. I don't know if I could take another one.”

“Me neither.”

“...”

“...”

“Do you…want to eat your cake now?”

“Fuck, oh my god—I completely forgot! Yes!”

Just as Carmy planned, the flavors go perfectly together. Even though he knew it was going to be delicious, when he takes the first bite of the cake, relief washes over him. They seem to be overjoyed, inhaling the cake at dangerous speeds. 

“You're gonna hurt yourself if you eat that fast,” he observes, both amused and concerned. 

“Can't talk. Need to eat this.” That makes him laugh so abruptly he nearly gets cake up his nose. “This is the best birthday cake I've ever had, both visually and taste-wise.”

“I'm glad. Like I said, I'm not really a baker, but…I make an alright cake.”

“You make a fantastic cake.” They’ve got a bit of frosting on the corner of their mouth. “It doesn't get much better than this—eating a cake made by you.”

“Because I'm a chef, you mean?”

“No, not that. Not just that, anyway,” they amend with a cheeky grin. “Because you're my best friend.”

You're my best friend.

…

I'm their best friend, he repeats to himself. I'm their best friend.

He thinks about crying. He won't cry, but he thinks about it.

“Oh,” he replies intelligently. “...Really?”

“Y-Yeah. Unless, uh, you don't—”

“You're my best friend too,” he blurts out, and the anxiety on their face fades away into a relieved, beautiful smile. 

“Thank god. That would've been pretty awkward if you didn't…” They shake their head. 

“I've never been anyone's best friend before,” he confesses. 

“Seriously?” They recover from the shock quickly. “Lucky me, then.”

“I thought you established we were both the lucky ones.” 

“Oh, right.” They chuckle. “Lucky both of us, then.”

Carmy thought that life would always be the same. He thought that he was fated to a routine of nausea and nightmares, never quite close enough to reach a rest point. He thought that he was okay with it being his fate, because he never knew anything else. 

He thought that loneliness, cigarettes, and memories would be enough, because it always stays the same. Nothing ever changes. 

Until them. 

He thought he had outgrown happiness, that his body had grown accustomed to living without it. That there was no longer space in his heart to withstand the weight of joy. But as he sits here with his roommate, chatting and laughing over a cake he made for them, he finds that's not true.

His capacity for happiness had never left. It had been there all along. 

And with that, something in him lets go.

Carmy sees it all at once. It starts from the beginning—he sees the first day he met them, an initially hesitant meeting gone surprisingly well. He sees the first time the two of them smoked together, deliriously laughing through shared smoke. He sees them in the mornings, messy hair and wrinkled t-shirts. He sees them in nothing but an apron. He sees them in tight black clothes that leave little to the imagination. He sees them laughing at a joke that he didn’t think was all that funny. 

He sees them in his dreams, red tomato puree bleeding from their gums. He sees them holding his trembling hands in theirs, soothing him back down from the storm in his hand. He sees them comforting him through his tears. He sees them sobbing, hot tears on their cheek and his hand. He sees them heaving into the toilet, whispering that they want to know him. He sees himself, embracing them tightly in his arms. 

He sees it all. He knows that he can't avoid it anymore. 

Carmy is completely, undeniably in love with them, and there is absolutely nothing that he can do to make that realization disappear.

…Some things, he understands, refuse to stay the same.

~

@zorrasucia @carmenberzattosgf @carmenbrzatto @thehouseofevangelista

[dandelionxbby]

: ̗̀➛ Modern TWOW Kids Headcanons

╰┈➤ Neteyam

High school junior - 17 years old

Captain of both varsity basketball and soccer

4.1 GPA, working towards Stanford

Often spends time in the library

Reads classical literature

Played Romeo in their school production of R&J

Has his licence and drives a ford

Models for small black owned fashion brands for a little extra cash

Runs Tuk's Etsy were she sells bracelets

Collect Records - R&B and Rap

Headphones > Speakers

Introverted but Extroverted around his friends and sports teams

Teacher's pet - carries the whole class. Answers when no one else does

Often gets into fights with Ao'nung because Ao'nung wants to be captain of the basketball team

Drives Tuk to school and extracurricular activities

Love to cook, in the kitchen almost every night with Neytiri

Not that close to Jake, he craves Neytiri's approval more than his

Nose, industrial, and multiple cartilage piercings

Plays violin

Has been growing his dreads since he was 7, but they don't look bad bc he keeps up with them

╰┈➤ Lo'ak

sophomore - 16 years old

JV Football and Basketball

2.3 GPA, Lo'ak isn't dumb, he just doesn't try

Made a music video to his rap for film class and it got a B-

Facetimed Reya right after he got his grade, he was really proud of himself

Skateboards to school and practices but Neteyam drives him home

Collects 90s/00s rap CD's - eminem, tupac, biggie, etc.

Talks back to the teacher, kind of a class clown

Wants to join the Marines like Jake

Worked as a cashier at the movie theater to buy him and Reya tickets to the Eras tour. He didn't know all the words to the songs but he tried.

Is outside from the time he comes home 6:30 to 11:00 at night shooting hoops bc he really wants to be on varsity basketball with Neteyam

Always has his airpods in

Records his raps in his bathroom bc it has good acoustics

Closer to Kiri than the rest of his siblings

They all has their own rooms but he is always in Kiri's for some reason

Taper fade with braids

Besties with Rotxo, he talks to him about things he can't with other people

Wants a tattoo so bad, but Jake says "You can get one once you paid your own rent"

Has an Ig with 134K followers

╰┈➤ Kiri

Sophomore

Crochets her clothes

Thrifts or depop clothes only, doesn't believe in fast fashion

Low-key in her Kat Stratford era

Plays piano and bass

Has an all girl band - boygenius is her idols

Loves anime and K-pop - has her Bias as her laptop wallpaper

Anti-plastic, only uses her hydroflask - hates stanleys bc "consumerism has America in a chokehold"

Photographer for the school's digital newspaper

Wears dangle mushroom earrings everyday

Has a wolfcut and red hair

She has natural freckles but they are barely there so she draws them on with a brown eyeliner pencil

She's in theater club and is the composer of all the musicals

Dance moms is her guilty pleasure

Very much vegan and will give someone the stink eye if they eat meat next to her

works at a crystal shop and will geek out anytime a rookie collector ask her what a specific crystal is for

has a septum piercing

Super introverted her only friends are Reya and Rotxo

Always challenging her teachers

Her only social medias are Twitter (X), tumblr, and tiktok

Loves Taylor Swift and Minski

Watches french films and reads french books

Closer to Jake but Neytiri is her go to girl when she needs to talk

Her phone background is Grace and her when she was 3, it was taken 3 months before Grace died

Hates sports, doesn't understand why people are going crazy over football recently

Her walls are covered with posters

Low-key loves all of Lindsay Lohan's movies - she's her celb crush

╰┈➤ Ao'nung

Same year and age as Neteyam

I feel like his family is rich

Drives a benz

going to uop on a basketball scholarship

6'3 1/2 - got his dad's height

Super protective of Tsireya

On the debate team, he loves arguing

If he's not playing basketball, hes surfing, if hes not doing that he's studying

Posts him playing basketball on his tiktok and ig, hoping one day he'll get noticed by a scout, thousands of people repost his videos

Has every pair of Jordans known to man

crosses people over in the hallway

I feel like he bullies freshman boys but sticks up for the freshman girls bc he sees them as his little sisters

Ronal is the principal so he get's good food at lunch

always late to class but has amazing grades

introverted extrovert

teaches basketball to kids at the community center

Throws the best parties

brings speakers to school

Frenemies with Neteyam and Lo'ak

Of all the Sullys, Kiri is his favorite

╰┈➤ Tsireya

Sophomore - 15 years

Post GRWMs on tiktok

Tennis and volleyball

Starting ballet this year

skincare and makeup obsessed

wears her mary janes everyday

super coquette / coastal grandmother

team conrad

Loves Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey

Priscilla, Marie Antoinette, Belle, Girl Interrupted, Black Swan are her favorite movies

Wears the friendship bracelets that Kiri and Tuk make her

Watches Vouge Beauty Secrets when she gets ready

Her favorite youtuber is Sabrina Lilliane

Thrifts with Kiri

Has a baby pink Stanley and wears ugg slippers

On the school dance team

Has a Jeep but can't drive it yet so she rides with Ao'nung

Carries K-pop Idol photo cards

4.0 GPA, she doesn't play about her grades

Often helps Lo'ak with school

Reads poetry books

Researching to start her own haircare line with the help of Neytiri

Doesn't wear a backpack only tote bags

If she doesn't have starbucks every morning then she'll be cranky all day

Always wears a locket that has her parent's pictures in it

Is the star of all the musicals

Sophomore year class president

Did the best petting zoo fundraiser

╰┈➤ Rotxo

Junior

Head of the school paper

doesn't play sports

The smiths are the only people he listen's to

works at a record shop

volunteers at a soup kitchen

4.2 GPA going to Harvard Med

OCD

Wants to be a surgeon

Manages Ao'nung social media accounts

Introverted, hates large crowds

Drives Kiri to thrift stores, they're besties

╰┈➤ Tuk

3rd grade - 8 years old

Sells friendship bracelets

Went to the eras tour with jake, had a big sign that said "Give her her scarf back, now"

She traded bracelets with a bunch of people

Did ballet for a while and hated it so now she does gymnastics

Spa days with Neteyam

in her "only eating chicken nuggets and craft mac and cheese" phase

loves to rollerblade

Has an unboxing channel on youtube

always making slime

doesn't have any electronics bc Jake and Neytiri doesn't want her to be an Ipad kid

Tuk is really popular on youtube but she doesn't know it

Loves Reya like another sister

Takes horseback riding lessons

╰┈➤ Spider

Doesn't go to Pandora High like the rest, he goes to an athletic boarding school on a lacrosse scholarship

Was really close to the sullys but since his school has a no phone rule they've grown apart

Still hangout on the weekends and in the summer

no doubt he's going pro

Grew up around military vets

cut his dreads off once he got to school

takes archery as an extra class

really good at math

The sullys send him care packages full of junk food

He sleeps over at the sullys on the weekends bc he would rather not be with his dad

Still really close to Kiri but not as close to Lo'ak as they used to be

Loves the MCU and goes to the theaters when the movies come out even if they are bad

Thank you for reading <3

[agro-carnist]

ok. References: https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/14/23/5115

https://www.pcrm.org/news/health-nutrition/vegan-diet-better-environment-mediterranean-diet

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jul/20/vegan-diet-cuts-environmental-damage-climate-heating-emissions-study

https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/food-drink/shopping-guide/vegan-meat-alterantive-food-brands

Including books like Sustainable Living and 100 Ways to Live Sustainably.

My response under a read more since it got long

First link:

This study is not necessarily advocating for vegan or vegetarian diets, and it mentions that in the introduction. It mentions instead its evaluation of overconsumption of animal products and underconsumption of various plant sources.

The study also mentions that vegans and vegetarians tend to consume more fruits, vegetables, and legumes and in more variety, as well as fewer refined cereals, added fats and sweets, and non-water beverages. This is known as the healthy user bias. The study even mentions that "the differences in terms of health outcomes ... cannot be directly linked only to the different consumption of protein sources." Even their own analysis of various studies find that most results aren't statistically significant, and those that do have significant statistical correlation include flexitarians, pescetarians, and lacto-ovo vegetarians and exclude vegans.

Second link

This article references two different studies, "Environmental Impact of Two Plant-Based, Isocaloric and Isoproteic Diets: The Vegan Diet vs. the Mediterranean Diet" and "A Mediterranean Diet and Low-Fat Vegan Diet to Improve Body Weight and Cardiometabolic Risk Factors: A Randomized, Cross-over Trial."

For the first, this goes into one of my main complaints about dietary sustainability analysis in that the calculations are all hypothetical. It does not study if an individual's personal food choices make an impact on foods being produced. I am not arguing that livestock do not have a significant environmental impact or that agriculture does not damage the Earth. They clearly do. But I'm not a libertarian that thinks the free market will solve the ingrained issues with how food is produced.

My other issue with studies like this is that it groups all livestock together and all crops together. Cattle, chickens, fish, shellfish, goats, etc. all have a very different environmental impact. Almonds, wheat, apples, avocados, beans, rice etc. also all have very different environmental impacts. Painting agriculture with broad brushes like this is, in my opinion, not very helpful. I'm also not interested in pointing out the harmful impact of one side of agriculture while completely supporting the other side and acting like we can ignore that. I am more interested in food raised using sustainable techniques vs. industrially grown food rather than pitting animals and plants against each other as a whole. I am anti-capitalist and I do not make my food and animal activism to still be playing into capitalism. I also dislike pretending that crops and livestock are mutually exclusive industries that do not fundamentally play into each other.

As for the second study, I find this one far more interesting but I do have a few things to point out. The study does not mention what the lifestyles of the participants were before the study began, only that they were overweight. It seems to be operating under the assumption that thinner automatically means healthier, which isn't necessarily the case. But are participants normally eating tons of junk food with little fresh fruits and vegetables and then switching to more balanced diets prepared at home? Considering participants are also specifically asked to avoid sweetened drinks, processed meats and snacks, and cream and to limit cured ham and fatty cheeses, there are almost definitely other factors at play than simply meat vs plants. Second, participants attended classes taught by dieticians and physicians. Of course people would be healthier following instructions by people formally educated in health. Third, it is noted that several participants out of 52 change medications during the study, which can impact results.

Third link

See my points from link 2.

Fourth link

I like the recommendations made for vegan companies here. They suggest making some foods at home and avoiding companies that use palm oil or soy from South America as well as brands like Nestle that are famously known for damaging environments all over the world and harming people especially in poor countries. I will add though that this is harder than it looks due to brands having parents companies and Nestle owns lots and lots of companies. Which also plays into my point that personal choice is so insignificant when up against monsters like Nestle that own so much power.

In short, studies like these can provide some helpful data but they do also miss many important pieces because sustainability and nutrition are such complex topics that do not come with easy answers. I also take all studies with a grain of salt because they are all going to still work under the assumption of a capitalist world. My perspective is anti-capitalist and about an uprooting of our relationship to food and agriculture. Under a capitalist system the best we can do is harm reduction and based on trends of the food market I do not see that vegan diets make a material difference. Rather I promote choices that uplift community food, pressure changes to industry norms including legislative pressure, and socialist activism that benefits people and in turn the animals we live next to. Overproduction and overconsumption are real issues.

I'd like to offer my own studies and references but looking through these has used up all my spoons. My recommendations on books though are Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer and Cows Save The Planet by Judith D. Schwartz.

[when-november-ends]

I've been vegan for one week now.

and already im loving it WAY more than i thought i would. going vegetarian was sorta hard, going vegan was one of the easiest things ever. here are some of the pros I've noticed:

- i get my nutrients way easier (especially vitamin B12 because it's added to many vegan products)

- store brand vegan products taste great and they're cheap, which makes my weekly grocery purchase a lot cheaper than when i was vegetarian

- i eat less sugar because most of the sweets in the store aren't vegan, so i can't just throw anything i see in the shopping cart. i have to know what i want and then get it.

- i don't binge on chips or chocolate anymore even though i have both at home

- vegan sweets are actually amazing

- vegan pizza options are tasty and the fake cheese tastes great in 9/10 cases

- i feel more energized (but idk if that's from the food or if im just having a good week)

- ben & jerry's has tons of amazing vegan ice cream

- i don't get food coma anymore

- i have a clean consciousness.

so all in all, 10/10, definitely recommend.

[acti-veg]

Dumb question but is coffee vegan?

It is, thankfully! You obviously need to pay attention to additions, but if you’re just buying coffee beans, ground coffee or instant it’s very unlikely that it won’t be vegan. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that wasn’t, except for those ‘just add water’ sachets that have milk powder in them.

Aside from just containing animal products though, you should try to buy Fair Trade where you can, or at least avoid the bigger brands like Nescafé, Douwe Egberts, Kenco and Maxwell House, as they all have poor environmental and/or human rights records. Fair Trade is really the only coffee label that is worth a damn. If in doubt, just do a bit of research on the brand - the Good Shopping Guide have a nice ratings table here.

[doulayogimama]

We have only been away from the USA for 2 months. It honestly feels like double that time has passed. We have just under 1 month left.

As someone who has gone abroad for a 5-month stretch, I’m honestly shocked at my level of homesickness. Having a child changes a lot more than I thought. I don’t think I’ve ever missed my family this much. I didn’t think I could miss them this much. I can’t wait to leave Sky with family so I can go do… anything 🥲 Kevin and I need to go on dates 😭

I know it sounds crazy to people based in the states, but I really miss home. There’s problems everywhere, and being out of the country has helped me really understand that. There are plenty of problems over here in the EU.

What I’ll miss the most is the quality / price of food here. I think about how much Americans spend at the grocery store for subpar quality ingredients / preservatives / etc and it pisses me off. Other than that… I really want to go back home.

I know it’s not fair, but it just makes me all the more determined to have my own garden again one day and grow my own food. Invest in a bread maker and really learn the art of making sourdough bread. Supporting local farms when I can to buy things I don’t feel comfortable buying in a store. Again, not “fair” that we all have to go through more effort to get good quality food, but luckily, I enjoy gardening + cooking + baking.

I miss a lot of the food back home — there are no beans over here. Like literally, since I started shopping in grocery stores in Portugal, there are no beans anywhere I look. No black / red / pinto / navy / cannellini beans — NOTHING. My vegetarian / Cuban self is suffering 😅

I want good Mexican food. I want my Mimi’s rice + beans. I want to see the plethora of vegan restaurants and products that I’ve grown accustomed to again. I don’t want to go to a grocery store and smell the overwhelming scent of octopus and fish (Iberians love their seafood).

TLDR — I want to go homeeee.

[deedala]

✨weekly tag wednesday✨

weekly tagly wednesdly?? lolol thanks for todays game and thanks for tagging me @darlingian!! and @energievie!! <<3333

About you name: deanna age: noel-aged (which isnt old actually, stop being weirdos) starsign: scorpio your first language: english second language: right now the only other language i might be able to have a little convo with you in is norwegian favourite lip product: blistex medicated mint lip balm the best food dish you can make without a recipe: pico de gallo yum yum If you drink tea, what kind?: peppermint If you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: light roast (i didnt know about that being more caffeine!! But yay!) favourite thing to watch on youtube right now: mike’s mic’s appropriately unhinged tv show summaries favourite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: i dont have a fuckin clue lol. All i did in 2012 was work at and manage a barber shop well over 40 hours a week, experience a fucked up pregnancy, got traumatized, and played mass effect 3. favourite item of clothing right now: my black joggers favourite item of clothing in 2012: uhmm…green cardigan was something i wore a lot to work cuz it looked extra cute with my red hair. (i had red hair in 2012!)

fandom three movies you recommend: The Fall (2006), Love and Monsters, Palm Springs your favourite concert: went to a ton of dmb shows a youth which were always insane levels of fun have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: oh for sure, im here to enjoy myself lol have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: i dunno what i consider leaving a fandom? I guess maybe i dont JOIN them very often (ie make friends and participate in events and such) so no i’ve never really left one as the only two i consider myself really being a part of is dragon age and shameless? the best tv show you watched last year: hmmmm….the fall of the house of usher (i have such a short fucking memory i dont know what came out earlier in the year sorry lol) do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: not that i can think of off the top of my head… a ship you've abandoned: uuhhmm…also cant really think of one? on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: oh zerooooo. Its all rather tame, i just am not willing to lay my fucking soul bare thanks lolol do you have a fandom tattoo? i dont have any tattoos which i will probably go to my grave being sad about because i have so far failed at every meager attempt to get one. what fandom do you wish was bigger?: on one hand it might be fun to have more folks around in shameless but also i know our tiny friendly tumblr bubble is what keeps things playful, so i dunno… maybe uuhhmm the expanse?  has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: how i met your mother was pretty bad. I think even worse for me was Chuck. have you... swam in an ocean?: yes been vegan/vegetarian?: i’ve been a vegetarian for 28 years gone skinny dipping?: yes gone skiing?: no been to a convention?: so so so many

now my precious nuggets, please accept this tag and either play along or just know that i am gently squishing your face in my hands @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @heymrspatel @heymacy @metalheadmickey @crossmydna @tanktopgallavich @sam-loves-seb @jrooc @gardenerian @mickeysgaymom @softmick @howlinchickhowl @the-rat-wins @lingy910y @sickness-health-all-that-shit @gallawitchxx @mybrainismelted @juliakayyy @creepkinginc @whatwouldmickeydo @suzy-queued @squirrel-fund @tsuga-of-mars @transmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @palepinkgoat @themarchg1rl @purplemagpie @thepupperino @callivich @rereadanon @grumble-fish @ardent-fox @thisdivorce @lee-ow @iansw0rld @ritualpyre @vintagelacerosette @rosemacclare @maizzycakes @7x10mickey @rrapp @gofionaonthem @suchagallabitch

[emmaharrison]

Discover the Ultimate Vegan Hub in London: Join Vegan Connects Today!

#### Facing the Challenges of Vegan Living in London

Living a vegan lifestyle in a bustling city like London can be an exciting yet challenging adventure. Whether you’re just starting your journey into veganism or you’ve been living plant-based for years, you’ve likely encountered a few hurdles along the way. Finding reliable nutritional advice, discovering vegan-friendly supermarkets, or simply staying updated on the latest vegan events in London can be daunting. But what if there was a community designed specifically to help you navigate these challenges?

#### Welcome to Vegan Connects: London’s Newest Vegan Community

**Vegan Connects** is a vibrant, new Facebook group dedicated to vegans, aspiring vegans, and plant-based enthusiasts who live, work, or visit London. Our mission is to make veganism accessible, enjoyable, and affordable for everyone in the city. Whether you’re looking for support, advice, or simply a place to share your vegan experiences, **Vegan Connects** is your go-to community.

#### Solving Nutritional Inquiries with Vegan Connects

One of the biggest challenges people face when adopting a vegan lifestyle is ensuring they’re getting all the nutrients they need. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by conflicting advice and a lack of clear information. But in **Vegan Connects**, you’ll find a community ready to support you.

Within **Vegan Connects**, members share tips on how to maintain a balanced diet, discuss supplements, and exchange advice on vegan-friendly nutrition. Plus, we feature insights from local nutritionists who offer expert advice on how to stay healthy while living a plant-based lifestyle. By joining **Vegan Connects**, you’ll have access to a wealth of knowledge and support to keep you on the right track.

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In **Vegan Connects**, our members are always sharing their favorite vegan cafes and restaurants across the city. Whether you’re looking for a cozy spot to enjoy a vegan latte or a high-end restaurant for a special night out, **Vegan Connects** has you covered. We encourage members to post photos, share reviews, and offer tips on the best vegan dining experiences in London. Join us to discover new places and share your own dining adventures!

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Cooking delicious vegan meals at home is a key part of living a plant-based lifestyle, but even the most enthusiastic home cooks can run out of ideas. That’s why **Vegan Connects** is the perfect place to find inspiration.

Our community is full of creative cooks who love to share their favorite recipes and cooking tips. Whether you’re looking for a quick and easy dinner idea or a show-stopping dessert, **Vegan Connects** is your source for culinary inspiration. Join the conversation to exchange recipes, share your own creations, and discover new ways to enjoy plant-based cooking.

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London’s vegan scene is thriving, with new events popping up all the time. But with so much happening, it can be easy to miss out on something great. That’s where **Vegan Connects** comes in.

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From budget-friendly recipes to affordable dining spots, **Vegan Connects** is full of ideas for living vegan on a budget. Join us to learn how to make veganism work for you, no matter your financial situation.

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 Links!

https://www.facebook.com/share/PcJXaRA93hR3j3VL/?mibextid=A7sQZp

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562259872316&mibextid=ZbWKwL

https://www.instagram.com/vegan_connects?igsh=YzljYT

https://x.com/i/lists/1812565582686155106?t=qJ2ozmEU8ZEJfbzUF_YctQ&s=09

https://pin.it/1pMm8Tk4H

https://www.threads.net/@nicholemargrave

https://mastodon.social/settings/preferences/appearance#

https://discord.com/invite/pzxZVTsbhs

[indnwitch]

Vegan/Vegetarian shopping list:

Pre Made salad bags (it’s a lot cheaper to just buy bagged salad and add to it, then buying a bunch of ingredients that will go bad if not used)

Make a list of fruits and vegetables that you like and get them (some times if you get the funky shaped ones you get a few cents off, even if you don’t that stops the funky shaped produce from being tossed)

Nut butters (most almond and peanut butters are vegan, jelly and Jams aren’t because they’re made with gelatin)

Bread, check the ingredients because a lot of breads are accidentally vegan/vegetarian ( Vegetarian/Vegan (link) Sandwiches will be your best friend)

Pasta (like bread a lot of pasta is accidentally vegan, CHECK THE INGREDIENTS)

Rice and beans are some of the cheapest things to buy, buy them dry and you can have them for a while in your pantry

Google vegan ramen, (if you’re like me and love spicy ramen then you’ll be happy to know Samyang 2x spicy hot chicken flavor Ramen in the red pack is VEGAN they use artificial chicken flavor rather then animal products. Vegan Kimchi regular and spicy is a lot easier to find then you may think just look for ones without fish sauce and shrimp)

Tofu (tofu is very versatile and it’s great source of vegan/vegetarian protein made from soy, it takes flavor beautifully and it’s relatively cheap firm/extra firm is best)

Cheese (there are so many vegan cheese options, for grated parmigiana follow your heart has both grated and shredded, Violife has a block. Violife has the best shredded substitutes, and singles. Daiya is a little weird in my opinion however they’re cheddar dairy free Mac and cheese is amazing (you just gotta use different pasta then it comes with)

Meat substitutes ( We’ve come a long way with decent vegan meat substitutes, beyond meat makes a whole variety of plant based meat substitutes that are very tasty especially if you’re still craving that meaty texture. Impossible meat substitutes also has amazing plant based meat substitutes, Impossible also has vegan chicken nuggets that tastes like McDonald’s and even have dino shaped ones. Light life has everything from vegan sausage crumbles to Bacon, the vegan bacon and hot dogs are amazing)

Eggs (just egg and simply egg are planted based substitutes for eggs, they’re liquid like an egg beater but can be used in place of eggs from a scramble to a baking ingredient)

Dairy (Vegan milk/coffee creamer you got options coconut, almond, soy, oat, pea protein. Pick what you like best. Personally California farms Oat milk in original and California farms oat vanilla creamer are my favorites. I’ll throw cream cheese and Yogurt in here as well Kite Hill regular and Strawberry cream cheese are my favorite, Kite Hill blue berry, and Strawberry vegan yogurt are my favorite. MIYOKO’S vegan butter)

Snacks (Lenny and Larry’s plant based chocolate chip cookies, Spudsy sweet potato puffs they have a million different flavors I like the hot fries. Vegan rob’s dragon puffs these are the vegan equivalent to hot Cheeto puffs but without the red dye 40. Vegan rob’s also has cheese puffs)

Sauces (Anne’s goddess dressing is very tangy, Diaya blue cheese and Caesar dressings are amazing, can be thick though, they also have ranch but I got a vegan homemade ranch recipe. Hot sauce, Franks, Cholula, Tabasco, and Tapatío are vegan. Ketchup& mustard are vegan. Hellmans and follow your heart have vegan mayonnaise,Sir Kingston’s and Follow your heart also have chipotle Mayo. Follow your heart also has vegan sour cream)

Seasonings (seasons you should have in your cabinet click here, the dollar tree sells all these for a dollar and most grocery stores sell adobo)

[eternclsunshine]

some random muse fun facts ( that don't really have a place anywhere ). I’ll do more of these sporadically.

Gemma took ballet as a kid because her parents wanted her to channel her chaotic energy into something "productive". To no one's surprise, she was still chaotic after all that and was very clumsy / bad at it. Very much a bull in a china shop.

Camille is a pseudo vegan. She only follows the diet to stay skinny and gaunt, but completely uses animal products, loves wearing leather and furs, buys a bunch of high quality meat products for her dogs. I know people are constantly on her and call her out for it lmaoo

also: Valeria is mostly vegan, only has exceptions for very few specific things. Lance is vegetarian.

Mystery Ink's fans are referred to as "inkies" or "squiddos" - both coined by Jett and Luci ( who like to go on livestream a lot with their fans ).

Gemma’s nickname for Audrie is ‘Audrie Hepburn’ and she also has this as her contact name.

Audrie likes to foster shelter cats in her home, in addition to her own cat. She loves the idea of giving these animals a second chance at life and being loved :(

Theo is obsessed with snow / winter / the holiday season and it brings out his inner child. His family celebrates Hanukkah but Christmas is v pretty to him.