#one of these women scared me more than any other

[lloveliayork]

✧ obx men as sex and the city men ✧

rafe: you and rafe are sooo mr. big and carrie. i mean come on, rafe is a powerful and dominant man who can have any women stuck in a situationship, and who started those? mr. big!! just like mr. big would call carrie any time he felt as if she was moving on, any time rafe would get the slightest feeling of you actually leaving, he would have you right where he wanted you.

you enter the taxi cab, your feet worn from dancing all night. tyler, the man you met at the club was nothing but kind, a bit bland, but kind. still, you couldn’t wait to get home and strip away the memories of the night.

your silence was interrupted from a loud ping, a text from an unsaved number reading, “you have a nice night?”

assuming it was tyler, you flipped your phone and decided to wait till morning. as you slumped in your seat, you’re phone scares you, again, with loud vibrations. confused, you reluctantly pick up the phone.

“hello?”

“turn around”

you turn, only to be faced with the black car you and rafe shared so many memories in.

“miss me?”

jj: i was going to give him steve for his comedic stupidity, but there is nothing like smith!!! not only do they resemble each other, they’re also both young and immature compared to you, a samantha. samantha knows what she wants, and here comes a blue eyed blonde to change everything for her! his charm and personality is able to keep you for more than just sex, but he’s also able to build a relationship beyond the four corners of your bed.

the sex was good, really good, but you knew you were staying far too long. as to not wake jj, you silently shimmy out of bed to be met with the cold hardwood floors. as you make your way off the bed, you feel a warm yet firm arm around your wrist.

“now what did i tell you about leaving so soon?” he said softly.

“i dunno, we usually have sex then leave.” secretly, you hated leaving the warmth of his bed, leaving behind the night you shared with him, but it was part of your routine now.

he rolled his eyes in response, “that’s not happening anymore mama, come to bed we’ll talk tomorrow”

if it were any of your other promiscuous hookups, you wouldn’t think twice about leaving. but damn, those blue eyes did something to you.

pope: pope is so harry!! for so long people overlooked pope, just as charlotte overlooked men like harry. but harry was an angel and such a smart man, you just HAD to love him! he would listen to you, make you feel so important, and introduce you to a world you couldn’t have ever imagined for yourself. think of when charlotte was wearing her glasses and didn’t feel beautiful, but harry thought she was the sexiest woman in the world. is that not our beloved pope?

“honey, it’s just that those bifocals are a bit intimidating” sarah giggled.

your new prescription arrived, and yes the prescription was really strong, and yes they were practically falling of your face, but you still tried to look your best in them.

the pogues had spent the last few minutes poking at your glasses, the ones you now decided are stupid glasses.

“whatever”, you told them, “how about you guys start getting the boards ready instead of worrying about my glasses?”

they giggle and nod in return, headed out to the sandy beach. pope lingers, and once everyone was gone, he leaned down and whispered, “don’t worry about them, i think your glasses make you look sexy.” he shoots you a wink before following the rest. you cant help but feel warmed by pope’s compliment, knowing you chose the right one.

johnbee: our starboy last, aiden shaw! aiden was the perfect man, and reminds me of jb so much. both are down to earth, nature oriented, strong willed, protective, and overall amazing men. you, more girly and polished as a carrie, are able to blend with his nomadic sense of life as he adapts to the glitz and glamour of your life!

“johnbeeee”

“yes y/n” he sighed.

“i did not pay 650 american dollars for jimmy choo heels to be brought to a dinky beach where they will only be completely tarnis-“

john b cuts you off before you rant on and on (he knows you too well).

“listen, i will carry your shoes, hell i’ll even carry you. i want you to enjoy this with me, i have a surprise on the boat for you thats even better than those himmy whos.”

you smile in relief, knowing your boyfriend truly understands you (and your spoiled ways).

a/n: such a weird mix but two of my favorite shows combined to make a beautiful blend!! (hopefully reaches target audience). let me know what else you would like to see, tips or advice, or if you want a continuation/au!!

big sister advice of the day: after brushing your teeth, let the toothpaste sit on your teeth for about 15-30 seconds. easiest way to improve the whiteness of your smile.

[balrogballs]

I’m the hair anon back again, I want to message you but I’m scared of sounding like a dumb American but what do you actually do with the oils you posted? Just put them in your hair? Is it before or after washing? Sorry again, your hair looked so gorgeous and I recently had a bad haircut, I asked for layers and they gave me Edna Mode, so any tips welcome lol!

sksksksk please don’t be afraid to message me i am also a silly little westerner, i only know the hair oil stuff because my mother quite literally inscribed the words onto my skull, i don’t think it’s common knowledge!

i also need to tell you that a good amount of these tips are, being from a desi mother’s cabinet, not exactly clinically tested/proven so please look them up, especially if you have allergies…

however, aggressively fixing regretful haircuts are 100% my specialty, though not one i thought would ever come in useful on tumblr dot com… so… list and pics etc are under the cut since i assume the general population wish to see balrogballs, not hairyballs 😇

amla oil — good for hair growth, lengthening, etc, and i think that’s what you’re after? a little goes a long way — rub a bit into your scalp before you shower, rinse it out completely. I usually take a coin-sized amount and rub it into my ends after washing, just because i love the smell.

almond oil does the same, if you can’t find amla oil (though any indian/south asian store should do it) but please use caution and don’t use this if you’re allergic to nuts because putting it in your hair is still directly coming into contact with it.

onion oil — technically onionskin oil, but yes it smells exactly what you think it smells like, so make sure to wash it out thoroughly. just a coin sized bit will do, and it’s good for hair thickness/hairfall (so less bad haircut and more hair loss). also makes your hair very shiny!

blackseed oil — again, good for promoting hair growth, reduces scalp inflammation, also makes your hair very shiny. this is usually sold as blackseed oil but the oil itself is made from nigella seeds/black cumin. a little goes a long way, smells absolutely delightful so i do the same that i do with amla oil, rub a bit into my ends.

coconut oil — benefits are widely known, great at moisturising and repairing, and you can use it in larger amounts as it’s cheaper than a lot of the others on the list, aka you can use it as a full on hair mask etc. however if your hair tends to be greasy, make sure you wash it out thoroughly, two shampoos may be required. if it doesn’t however, feel free to take a bit on your hands and rub it into the ends after you wash it as well, it can be quite protective against split ends etc.

mustard oil — speeds up growth (in my experience, very much so!) and has the added benefit of making your hair quite soft. honestly this can smell quite sharp if the brand you get doesn’t use fragrances, so wash out thoroughly.

eggs + yogurt — hear. me. out. absolutely outstanding conditioner, better than any name brand imo. i don’t use this all the time because it’s very sticky and effortful but i try to do it each weekend. DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR IN HOT WATER IMMEDIATELY PLEASE RINSE WITH LUKEWARM WATER because believe me you do not want to be fishing out curd lumps and scrambled egg from the drain, ask me how i know 😇

OK once again, please DO NOT use all this at once, just use according to need, try one out for a few weeks before expecting results, use a tiny amount first, for the love of god please check every bottle for allergens because most brands add other stuff/fragrances, and always best to get the ones marked PURE _____ OIL etc.

also, again, these are all just ‘home treatments’ which have worked well for me/women in my family, i genuinely don’t know how it may work on non-desi hair or anyone else’s hair, hence me saying please look them up ahaha.

but yes, i had a very short (not edna mode but way shorter than i wanted) haircut early last year, i used blackseed oil + mustard seed oil and here’s what it looked like in feb (pic 1) vs september (pic 2) vs november (pic 3) before i cut it to the length you saw in the dress pics in dec so i am probably doing something right…

[solarapplejuice]

i'm trying to familiarize myself more with transfeminism after being introduced to it by the people on this site, but something i've yet to see talked about is something specific about people who stand on trans unity without an understanding of transfeminism. specifically, there's this anxiety that queer people aren't a group that immediately connects and understands each other that plays a small but still important role in transmisogyny denial.

setting aside the obvious and bigger reasons like material power over trans women and the ability to control our social movement, other queer people want to at least imagine us as ought-to-be or already unified in a way where we just kind of Get each other in a way that's overly familiar. like, the idea that you're gonna automatically like or get along with or at least understand other queer people, and especially in a way that cishet people aren't going to understand. and i guess i've never really bought it? like don't get me wrong, i feel a lot better at any point in my relationship with someone else when i know that they're queer, but it's not because i see us really getting each other like that, more because it's like i'm like "ah this is a Human Being who will take me seriously." as in like, we might actually hate each other, but it's gonna come from genuinely human places and not just literal bigotry and defense in return.

the reality is that there's a lot of people who just don't really fit the mold that a lot of people see in the "queer community" as they define it. some are more explicit about this and i think a lot of the time that leads to internalized-homophobia that's externalized every time a redditor makes a "do you guys also hate other trans women because they're Like That" posts on queer subreddits. but most of the time its because of the simple fact that most people just don't click with one another, and genuine understanding even in favorable relations requires effort. and i think people get scared of that because it exposes that there are people out there who might have experiences that they dont understand, who have gone through trauma and pain that they don't understand, at least not without working for it.

i see more and more posts from people who acknowledge that transmisogyny is real, but still think that it's counterproductive for trans women to stand up for ourselves against other queer people for it when we should all be fighting against cis people's transmisogyny. and like, aside from the bigger reasons for transmisogyny denial, this line of thinking really messes with me because i can't see how you sit with this obvious contradiction, aside from the bigger reasons like material power over trans women and control of our social mobility. but when i think about the most charitable interpretation of this viewpoint, i think of someone who sees queer people as a fandom. i know that sounds like a cheap jab but unironically, there's this sense that queer people are important because of shared traumas and bonds that are intangible, rather than the more concrete facts that there are power structures that disadvantage types of people, and those people are going to be the the ones to break them and need support as a result.

thinking back on queer people who don't identify with the rest of this "community," i've even seen people who recognize this and express a desire to still fight for them from a self-righteous place, like we have to do it because we're gonna save them from themselves or to stick it to cishets. and it's like. no! the point is that they're a living person who deserves to be treated as such. your desire to make a better change for the disadvantaged always has to come from the fact that they're disadvantaged. ironically, acknowledging transmisogyny is the actual genuine path towards trans unity and forging queer people as equals on common ground against gender as a violent power structure in the world.

[olympiansowl]

This is amazing!

First, I’m gonna say something as a sapphic: people respect gay couples in media way more than they respect sapphic couples. And I put it on male privileges. We see tv shows about gay men, and they aren’t cancelled after first season or something, we see straight cis women loving gay men and treating them in a sisterhood that they don’t show to sapphic women. Which is something that I, personally, won’t ever understand. Take Mirabel Garlick as an example. She’s the only canonical lesbian in HP universe and there are people writing about her with male characters 😭 she’s a teacher on the game and the game does run away from canon in lot of ways, I believe JK had nothing to do with it or little bc we also have Sirona, a trans woman who’s a badass and kind and pretty af, but instead of writing a lot about the two of them, they also wrote about Mirabel with men. Also, some straight and cis people have something against pretty and kind, sweet women being gay.

The second thing is that the Harry Potter girls, except some of them, were written as the typical heteronormative girl. The only one who could kinda run from this heteronormative thing was Tonks (to this day I still wonder how tf that woman wrote Tonks, bc Tonks could turn herself into anyone of any gender) and even she fell into the “let me loose my personality for a guy” which is a fucking shame. All of the other girls are written in a very heteronormative thing since day one. I’m saying this as a reader bc there isn’t a single relationship in HP that we haven’t seen somewhere between het cis girls and het cis boys. Ginny and Harry are the “fell for my brother’s best friend”, Hermione and Ron are the “slow burn from besties to lovers…after the girl cried her eyes out bc of him” and even the “marauders era” couples are like that.

Third thing is about the writing. I think this is mostly because they don’t use their imagination enough to write f/f. I mean, this fandom created a LOT of HCs. A lot. To a point that sometimes we don’t even know what is canon and what they created. I mean, there are people out there that shipp characters that couldn’t possibly have interacted. They had imagination enough to create a whole thing that wouldn’t ever happen, even more so bc of the age and context, but cannot create things that are quite possible. The most famous shipp in the fandom is probably wolfstar, which I also won’t ever get bc Sirius was said to be an womanizer and he did some nasty stuff to Lupin, which could have caused him to be expelled and imprisoned. The HCs also changed Sirius personality in a way that he looks almost like a saint. So I would also blame the writing on those HCs that are more focused on changing the men we already know than creating things we don’t know. The only good HC I ever saw was about Dorcas and Marlene. And the HC that Regulus was gay, bi or pan seems kinda fascinating to me. I liked it a lot. Not that I don’t like HCs, I do have my share of shipps that almost no one talks about (like Phineas Nigellus and Matilda, Tonks and Chiara, Tonks and Charlie, Pomona and Poppy…there is more) but anyway, the HCs of this fandom are mostly centered on men. And that also comes with erasing women. The other day I had to read that Tonks was only written to bust wolfstar…as if the queen of anti lgbt people would ever make them canon in the books. She only made one gay character and she didn’t even wrote this in the books, she had to say it on a interview or something 😭 that woman hates us, she was never going to make something for our community.

About the sapphic shipps…some of them scare the shit out of me! Most are with Hermione, a shame she isn’t bi or something btw, but the shipps are fucking crazy. Most of the f/f fics I see about her are with Bellatrix…Bellatrix, the crazy one who probably would’ve handed Hermione to Greyback and who tortured the shit out of her. Bellatrix, who was so obsessed with a man that she killed her own niece after he said something about “cleaning her blood and family” and who also tortured two people to insanity bc she wanted to know where said man was. I have nothing against reading things about Bellatrix being a lesbian or bi or pan but even if she decided to date a woman, it wouldn't ever be Hermione bc Bellatrix is literally the most racist and radical of all of her family members. The only way someone can read those fics are when they change the whole personality of everyone involved. And this is also the point that get us to the HCs. If you have to change the whole thing to achieve what you want, it's more of an original work than a fanfiction based on something.

Now let’s talk about Lily. We know how Lily was pretty awesome, had power and all, but when we think of it, there’s no mention of female friends or something. We know she knew the female members of the order and all, but there’s also a sense of “my friends are my boyfriend and his mates” with it. Not saying that she couldn’t be friends with them, but it’s strange that a girl doesn’t have other female friends. And also…everything kinda happens bc of her, she should have more spotlight. She was the reason Harry was born, the reason he survived. And Harry is the protagonist. She was the reason Snape turned into a spy. She defied Voldemort two or three times and she was the “Hermione” of marauders era. And we know almost nothing about her when we compare to what we know about James Potter.

Tonks is always a bother to me because she’s my favorite character, a pretty cool girl who was one of the youngest aurors out there. She was smart, funny and a lot of other things, but she got turned into a “let me drop everything, including my self respect, for this guy” and that got into my nerves.

Another thing I disliked is that almost all mother are “stay at home” mothers and wives. I think Andromeda wasn’t, she was said to be a very very good healer, so she was probably something more, but all the others are like that. I know Molly had a whole army of children, but I would’ve loved to see her more in action bc that woman was powerful. The ones I don’t recall having children are the teachers…which also passes the vibe of “she decided to follow a career so she cannot have children”. Minerva had two romantic interests, one of them was her husband, and she didn’t have children. Not saying that not having children or being a stay at home mom is a problem, but considering we don’t see much of moms working out of their house in HP, I’d say that it passes the image of the thing all women probably heard some day about having to choose between one or another and that we cannot have both.

Do you think that the fact that most Harry Potter fanfics have gay couples as pairings (to the detriment of straight or lesbian couples) is because people have difficulty writing f/f characters as strong and m/f as equals or is this due to underrepresentation? of women in books?

This is an interesting question, especially because it’s not limited to the Harry Potter fandom; it’s actually quite widespread in all fandoms, particularly those where there are either very few female characters, or where the female characters play much more secondary roles than the male ones. I think nowadays, with the (slow, but ongoing) effort being made to foster representation, these sorts of things might go more unnoticed. But in series or franchises from fifteen or twenty years ago (we’re talking early 2000s here, no need to go all the way back to the '80s), it was pretty common for m/m pairings to prevail over the canon het couples and, of course, far above f/f couples, which are basically the ugly ducklings of most fandoms—and this isn’t just a coincidence.

The Harry Potter case is especially interesting to me because it’s a series written by a woman where, in fact, there are quite a few female characters, and one of the most important in the whole series (Hermione) is a girl. She’s not only the most significant female character but is also the only one truly developed, with depth and a gradual evolution throughout the books. The rest of the women are either unimportant secondary characters, villains, or merely “placeholder” girlfriends for Harry who only becomes relevant in the last two books (and yes, I’m talking about Ginny, who I find unbearable. J.K. Rowling’s forced attempt to keep Harry in the Weasley family shoves us with this girl who’s meant nothing throughout the story and is then given this “pick me” girl personality—please don’t count me among the other girls—which not only has aged terribly, but I already found it repulsive back then).

I’m bringing up Hermione because it’s not just that she’s the most important girl in the story; she’s also the token character who is constantly paired with every male character in the saga, including men who are twenty years her senior and are her professors, father figures, or fathers of her schoolmates. And this is really interesting because it’s not that Hermione “matches” with everyone or could remain in character if paired with Sirius or Snape; it’s simply that Hermione is the only genuinely complex, three-dimensional female character in the entire series. So, if people choose to create non-canon pairings between canon characters, she’s the easiest choice because she’s got substance and a basis to build on. The rest of the female characters are mere shadows or are relegated to the role of villains or mothers. And if we talk about the younger female characters, it’s a real hair-puller.

Sure, Rowling doesn’t give recurring characters much emphasis in general, but for every ten things you know about a male character, you only know one about their female equivalent. If you know little about Dean Thomas, you know even less about Parvati Patil, just as an example. And all those secondary characters with a bit more screen time ultimately end up being someone’s girlfriend or wife. For example, Fleur, who is also the only one who doesn’t make much of a mark during the Triwizard Tournament (what a coincidence—the three guys stand out, and she doesn’t). We then only see her as Bill’s girlfriend and eventual wife. And the other semi-relevant female characters despise her for being beautiful, only accepting her when she proves she’s a devoted, loyal woman to her husband, no matter what happens to him, even if he’s scarred or turns into a werewolf. This vision of a beautiful, confident woman as merely a sexualized figure (as initially presented) or a threat to other women (as happens later), who can only prove her worth as a woman who conforms to “proper” standards by renouncing her feminine essence to become a wife, is typical of a misogynistic, male gaze often found in fiction. It’s quite striking here because it’s a woman writing the story, yet she still falls into the same old tropes.

Then there’s Tonks, shown as an Auror, an independent woman with her own job, who’s “cool” because she’s “not like other girls” with her colorful hair and Metamorphmagus powers. But all that gets overshadowed when she suddenly becomes a simp for Lupin, who, on top of it all, abandons her after she becomes pregnant, yet she forgives him because love conquers all. Excuse me? This is the female representation you get in the series. Because the rest are mothers: Lily is a saint who sacrifices her life for her son, Molly Weasley is basically a tradwife, and Narcissa Malfoy is only worthy of some respect when she risks everything for Draco. Again, we know much more about their husbands than we do about them; we know more about the men in their lives than we do about them. Their husbands have deeper backstories, richer histories.

Take Lily, for example. We know nothing about her. The little we do know comes from Snape’s memories, and it’s tiny compared to everything we know about James throughout the series. We know so much about James that we can debate endlessly about whether he was truly a good guy or a jerk, and this despite the fact that both are dead at the start of the story and Lily’s relationship with Harry is supposedly more central to the plot. Yet James is more fleshed out! James had friends, friends who talk about him, who tell his son about their youthful adventures. James was someone outside of being a father and husband; Lily wasn’t. Lily is Petunia’s sister, Harry’s mother, Snape’s lost love/friend, and James’ crush and future wife—period. That’s it. Did Lily not have friends of her own? Didn’t she hang out with other girls in her year? Didn’t she have relationships beyond Severus? Why is there not a single friend of Lily’s in the entire saga who can tell Harry what his mother was like? We have not one, but two friends of James, a traitor, and an enemy. But for Lily? Nothing. Only Snape, whose relationship with Lily isn’t even revealed until the final book.

All the Weasleys, except Ginny, are boys. We know things about all or most of the Weasleys, and they have significant moments in the story despite being secondary characters. There are no recurring female counterparts who show up as consistently. Harry’s female classmates don’t interest him, or only come up when Hermione criticizes them. Generally speaking, the female characters have a lot of shortcomings compared to the male characters at any level of the story.

All this to say, while you could argue there’s female representation in the story, is there really? The only girl from the Marauder’s era is Lily. Mary McDonald is mentioned, but we know nothing about her. The rest of the female characters in that fandom are invented—names that pop up randomly in the books with no physical description, no substance, no relevance to the plot. They’re practically OCs thrown into fanfics because all that exists is Lily and the name of some supposed friend of hers who we never hear from again. There’s very little material to work with. And even though Harry’s generation has more girls, they aren’t significant enough for people to be interested in them because there are more boys, and the boys are much better developed. So, people either dive into slash or create OCs because there isn’t much else to hold onto. And if we talk about the reasons behind the lack of f/f pairings, it boils down to the same thing: if it’s hard enough with het couples because, aside from Hermione, Ginny, or Luna, it’s hard to find anything to work with among the female characters, imagine trying with two women.

Of course, I also think it’s largely because there’s zero LGBTQ representation in these stories, but back then, LGBTQ representation was practically non-existent in all children’s/young adult fiction. Although, seeing where J.K. Rowling stands on these issues now, I doubt she’d have done much differently in that regard today.

What I’m saying is that I’ve seen time and time again that when a fandom has well-developed female characters who actually matter, people do work with them. Take “A Song of Ice and Fire,” for example: we’re talking about a story with a ton of male characters, but every single female character has a point of view, a backstory, and a way of seeing the world. You get to know each of them, even the less important ones. If you dive into that fandom, you’ll see all kinds of het pairings and plenty of f/f pairings too. And this is a medieval fantasy saga with plenty of misogyny, but the reality is that it has a very powerful and diverse cast, full of women, each of whom is her own person with a story, ambitions, and a journey—and that gives you something to work with, which is not the case with Harry Potter. But it’s not exclusive to that saga; if you look at fandoms like Naruto, which hit their peak around the same time, it’s the same thing. Ultimately, the common thread I see (besides the fact that we live in a patriarchal society that usually ignores women in fiction, even when it’s by female authors) across all these fandoms where m/m dominates over any other pairing is precisely the lack of female characters or, if there are enough, the fact that their development ranges from minimal to nonexistent.

[drolta]

Sila, Prav and Olas

[moeblob]

10/10 is Lon'qu Day so here we go, a 10 out of 10 family.

[jemandrr]

accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[classyrbf]

SHE'S A SUCCUBUS! — CHOSO KAMO

SYNOPSIS...as a sex demon, she can always sense the horny virgin boy who’s dying to lose his virginity

INFO...choso x succubus!reader, sub!choso, virgin!choso, somnophilia, riding, overstim, creampie, oral (m!receiving and f!receiving), slight ass eating, cum eating, doggy, squirting, choso is super needy and eager, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

Choso always felt left out when his friend would constantly talk about all the girls they’ve been with, all the experiences they had and what crazy shit they always got into. He’d just sit there, silent. He couldn’t relate to them not one bit. The closest he’s ever to having sex is his right hand or a sex toy. No girl ever looked his way, and his confidence was crushed. They’d only go after his friends, practically drooling over them. Not one of them spared a glance towards Choso.

He was begging to lose his virginity, dying to know what real pussy felt like, how soft tits felt in his hands or even some ass. God, don’t even get him started on wondering what it feels like to receive head. His friends swear it’s the best thing ever as long as the girl knows what she’s doing. He always watches porn, the women on their knees, slobbering all over the man dick like it was some divine dessert. He loved watching the way their pussies wrapped around the mans dick, just imagining how wet and warm it is. He was a lost cause. At this point, he was ready to pay someone to take his virginity. Literally.

And just like any other night, he goes back home, ready to fuck his fist to another average porn video before dozing off to sleep. He’s been extremely horny lately, more than usual and he can’t understand why. Not to mention the wet dreams he’s been having, waking up to cum in his pants like he’s a damn teenager. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, feeling the need to cum more and more everyday.

Hours later, he’s fast asleep, tossing and turning as he has another wet dream of someone riding him. He can’t make out her face, but it feels so damn real. Everything does. Even her moans and the weight on top of him. “Mmm,” he hums. His brows furrow. He can even hear the sound of skin on skin. His entire body feels like it’s on fire right now, like he’s been hit with some sort of sex pollen. It’s more intense than ever.

Little does he know it’s not a wet dream, no, it’s you. The succubus who’s been watching him for weeks, feeling his urgency to cum, to lose his virginity. He’s summoned you without even realizing. And now you were riding him, gliding your wet pussy up and down his aching cock while he slept, waiting for the moment he wakes up and realizes he’s no longer a virgin. He twists and turns when you run your clawed nails down his pale skin, smiling at the way he moans and whimpers in his sleep.

Choso couldn’t take this overwhelming feeling anymore, forcing himself to wake up, prying his tired eyes open. But the feeling doesn’t stop. The sounds don’t stop. And certainly the woman is his dreams doesnt disappear when he opens his eyes. “Wha—ah—what? Who…? Oh fuck!” He rasps, eyes darting around the room and over your naked body. “What the fuck? Oh my goddd.” As confused and scared as he is right now, he can’t escape the pleasure coursing through him right now.

“Shhh, shhh, just let me make you feel good. You’ve been dying for this haven’t you? I’m here to give you exactly what you want.” You slightly lean back, spreading your legs to let him get a clear view of the way your pussy sucks his cock in.

He looks at you with awe and confusion, but he can’t help but give in, moaning so sweetly when you fully sink down. “Who…who are you?” He gasps, eyes widen when you clench your pussy around him.

“I know when cute virgins like you wanna lose their virginity. You summoned me, accidentally. You’ve been so worked up lately, huh? Well,” you smile, “that was because of me.” His cock twitches inside of you, your hips bouncing faster and harder, watching the way he mouth falls open.

“Fuck, fuck! It’s feels so good,” he heaves, breathing heavily. His cheeks dusted a light pink. “I don’t wanna cum just yet, please slow down. Please, please—nnghhh, fuckkkk.” Choso didn’t stand a chance, shooting sticky ropes of cum into your pussy, his entire body quivering with how intense his orgasm was. “Please, slow down—ah, oh my god. It feels too good—” His eyes rolled into the back of his head as you kept fucking him.

“I’ll keep fucking you till there’s nothing left.” You lean forward, pressing your chest against his, placing your lips on his while you kiss him with such fervor, with such sloppiness. His hands reach down, gripping the plush flesh of your ass. He swears he’s in heaven right now. This can’t be real. No way a sex demon was taking his virginity right now. His dick was so sensitive, but still so hard. He knew he had so much cum left, the only thoughts he had were to fill you up over and over until it was dripping out.

He felt like he was losing his mind, fucking him so hard, creating a sloppy mess where you two met just so you can get him to cum again. Your devilish yet sweet giggles send chills up his spine and straight down to his already throbbing dick. With labored breaths, and his heart rattling against his rib cage, he already knows he’s going to cum again. So soon. “Come don’t hold back on me. I want it all,” you growl in his ear. “I’ll do whatever it takes to empty you dry and fuck you stupid.”

His trembling fingers grip onto your ass harder as he cries out, broken moans swallowed by your kisses and he can’t help but cum again, filling up your tight pussy to the brim. You pull away from the heated kiss looking at the way his hazy eyes stare up at you with such desperation. You halt the movement of your hips and get up from his lap. “No, no, wait. Where are you going?! Please, keep fucking me.” He sits up, watching you get on your knees. Poor thing looks like he’s almost about to cry.

And now he can get a real good view of you. The tail that swayed around and the small little horns that pointed from the top of your head. You really were a sex demon. Your hand took a firm grip on his throbbing cock, his tip leaking like it was begging you to make it cum again. “I can see your thoughts. Your nasty little thoughts.” You run a long stripe from his balls all the way to his tip, licking the excess cum off. Your tongue was freakishly long, but god did it feel so good on him. You spit on his cock, massaging it in as you stroke him, moving your hand in circular motions that make his hips jump. “Say it. I know what you’re thinking.” Your lips curl into a smirk, running the pad of your thumb over his slit.

“Put…put your mouth on it, please,” he says barely above a whisper, too shocked to even form proper words.

“Louder.” You massage his balls with your free hand, earning a guttural groan from him.

“Please, put your mouth on it! Fuck, I wanna know how good it feels!” His lip quivers, his breathing quickening the closer your lips get.

“Good boy.” You smile, darting your tongue out and wrapping it around the base of his cock, swirling it around the head before you take him in your mouth. You stare at him through thick lashes, bobbing your head up and down his thick shaft, spit spilling from the corners of your mouth. Glug, glug, glug.

The sound of you choking on his dick was like music to his hears, taking his all the way down your throat with no problem. How is he supposed to keep up? His brain is fried and his body already feels so weak from cumming two times in a row. But he can’t stop. It’s like you’ve put some kind of spell on him to make him want more. “Shit, I’m all the way in,” he gasps, fall back onto the pillows. You pull him out of your throat, string of saliva connect from your lips to his cock as you continue stroking him. You were so messy, so nasty, but he loved it so fucking much because this is always how he’d picture it.

You spit back on his cock before taking him down your throat again without warning. “Oh my—fuck me, I’m gonna fucking cum again!” He whimpers. His body jolts and his abs tense up at the sensation, pleasure shooting through his body like electricity. He’s so sensitive he can’t help it. His hips buck up into your mouth and next thing he knows, he’s cumming down your throat. “Nnngh shit!” He groans, each orgasm more intense than the last. It’s like as time goes on, he can’t help but get more horny, more greedy.

Within seconds he’s pulling you off his dick on bending you over, pulling your ass in the air. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t,” he’s muttering to himself, sweat dripping down his body. He pushes every inch into you with such ease, like your pussy was made for him. “Feels so good, feels so good I can’t stop stop,” he cries, rummaging his hips into you, fucking hard and fast.

“You’re learning so quickly.” You smile from below him, pushing your ass back against his hips. He watches the way your ass bounces back on his dick and he becomes mesmerized. “That’s it! Fuck me harder. Show me how badly you wanna cum in my pussy again,” you giggle.

Choso pushes your head into the mattress, broken moans falling from his lips. “I need it so badly, so fucking badly.” Your pussy grips him like a vice and he hisses at the tempting feeling.

“Make me squirt all over your cock! Come on, fuck me like you mean it!” You grip the sheets below you, feeling his swollen head press against your sweet spot over and over with each grueling thrust. Upon hearing your words, Choso remembers all those videos he’s watching of girls squirting, and to make you squirt just because of him makes his brain fuzzy. He keeps the same pace, huffing and panting when your pussy grows tighter. “Yes! Yes!” You laugh, sighing in relief when he pulls out and clear liquid shoots from your pussy, coating his cock and sheets.

His eyebrows raise in amazement. “Holy fuck,” he watches the way your pussy leaks before urgently ramming his cock back inside of you. “Do it again. Squirt all over me again! Please! It’s so fucking hot!” He begs as he pounds your pussy like his life depends on it. “Wanna watch you—nnngh—squirt again!”

As if on cue, your pushy gushes around him again, soaking his thighs and his cock and just the sight of it makes him cum so hard he’s toppling over you. “Fuck! I’m cumming!” He thrusts deep inside of you, making sure not to waste even a drop. “Yes, yes!” He huffs, bucking his hips. “I need to taste you, need to fucking—mmm.” He drops to his knees, pulling your ass back against his face while his tongue slurps every drop his cum and your juices, licking through your sloppy folds and sucking on your clit.

“Eager little thing, aren’t you? Such a good, good boy.” You praise, reaching behind you, taking a fistful of his hair and pushing his face deeper into your cunt. His moans at your taste, his free hand reaching down to stroke his swollen and sensitive cock. He moves his tongue up and down, running back and forth between your clit and your ass, and back down to your hole. You quickly pull him away before sitting up.

“Did I do something wrong? Why’d you stop?” He looks at with sad eyes.

“You’re done.” You look down at his cock.

“No, no, I’m not. I promise I still have more. Just keep fucking me, let me eat your pussy or something! Don’t leave!” He pouts, watching you crawl towards him.

“As much as I’d like to keep playing with you, you’re all out of cum, pretty boy.” You smirk. “I’ve got other desperate virgins like you to attend to.” You ghost your lips over his and Choso leans in for a kiss but you pull back from him. “You’re welcome.”

You disappear into a dark corner in his room, like you faded away into it. He runs to turn on his light and sees you’re completely gone. He’s at a loss for words, standing in the middle of his room completely naked. He looks towards his bed, seeing the wet spots you had left. So it was real? No? Yes? He didn’t know what to believe. He accidentally summoned a sex demon to take his virginity. If only he could do it again.

[deathsmallcaps]

She *can* do damage, but she doesn’t now that I’ve kept her safe for so long. Instead she likes to prop her legs up and cross them like a lady

I don’t have a picture of her crossing her back legs but she DOES do it

getting a wolfdog for protection is so fucking dumb. ma'am you know wolves are naturally timid of humans, right? you could grab literally any shepherd or pit mix from your local shelter and it will guard your house better than a wolfdog and destroy your house slightly less

[genderqueerdykes]

interesting observation i've made: i'm a genderqueer intersex trans person who's been on T for 9 years. i wear a lot of elaborate makeup and dress in "women's" clothing most of the time. my body is very masculine and i don't hide my "masc" features like my facial and body hair when i go out, i don't try to pass as any given binary gender, i did in the past and it made me miserable, so i just go about my life as the genderqueer person that i am

whenever i'm outside in a skirt or dress and my beard and body hair are fully visible, i do get a lot of compliments from fem people and women, but i actually get a very large portion of my comments from masc people and men. i originally thought that men would be the most hesitant, but i actually get a lot of men who approach me saying things like "i really dig what you're doing" or "keep that up" or even things like "you dress like how i feel on the inside." that one really stuck with me.

if this many men and mascs are willing to approach me- how many more feel the same way and were too shy or scared to say it out loud for fear of judgment from those who may overhear?

we societally groom men and AMAB people to believe they don't want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup- but they do. whether or not these people were all transfem eggs or gay is not for me to speculate on; what i want people to take away from this is that people of all gender identities want to wear dresses, skirts, and makeup. people of all gender identities want to dress in different ways. we teach each other that women only wear certain clothes and men only wear certain other clothes, but that's just not the reality of it.

people are way more nuanced than that, and i've seen it with my own two eyes. it's beautiful. the world is a lot more open minded than we're taught to believe. we need to start letting everyone dress as they please. it's clear that most people don't fit into this rigid binary we've created. humanity is just too diverse for that.

[doestarkey]

summary: sneaking onto drew’s phone after a gnawing suspicion of him cheating on you

the age gap between you and drew had always lingered in the back of your mind, quietly eroding your confidence in the relationship. no matter how much you tried to push the thought aside, it left you questioning—doubting. if it was a concern for you, surely it was for him too… right?

at twenty one, you were still navigating life—balancing college, exploring career paths, meeting new people, and experiencing things for the first time. drew, on the other hand, was in an entirely different chapter.

he had everything already figured out—a thriving career as the ceo of a globally recognized company, financial security, a beautiful home, and the kind of life experience that only comes with time. and, of course, there was the attention.

women—his age—throwing themselves at him, drawn to his success, his confidence, and the effortless charm that came with being an attractive man in his late thirties. women who seemed like they belonged in his world more than you ever could.

so what made you any different?

late nights at the office became a routine for him. he explained it all—overtime, project deadlines, the occasional presence of a coworker or two in the building. you never questioned it.

until one night.

maybe it was real, or maybe it was just your own insecurities manifesting into something tangible. but as you washed his suit, you could have sworn you caught the faintest trace of perfume that didn’t belong to you.

it gnawed at you. the doubt, the fear. until, finally, you caved to the one thing you had sworn to yourself you wouldn’t do.

as he slept beside you, you carefully reached for his phone on the nightstand, your fingers hesitant but determined. the screen lit up, illuminating your face in the dark. you tried once. twice. a third time—

“it’s your birthday.”

his voice was soft, laced with sleep, yet fully aware. he lay on his side, head propped up on one hand as he watched you, offering the password without hesitation. a quiet reminder of the trust you were on the verge of betraying.

a lump formed in your throat, but you pressed forward. as the phone unlocked, you combed through everything—messages, photos, calls—desperate for proof of something that didn’t exist.

and there it was.

nothing. no betrayal. no late-night secrets. just the overwhelming weight of guilt settling in your stomach.

silently, you turned off the phone and handed it back to him, unable to meet his gaze.

drew chuckled, taking the phone and placing it back on the nightstand before reaching out, his fingers gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“feel better now?” he asked, voice calm, understanding.

you didn’t answer, just stared at him with a deep frown, the shame too heavy to put into words.

“it’s okay,” he reassured you softly, though there was a hint of hurt in his voice. “but talk to me, baby. why’d you do that? what did i do that made you go through my phone?”

“you didn’t do anything, i just—” you hesitated, frustration bubbling up. how could you explain this without sounding irrational?

his head tilted slightly, reading you with ease. “been in your head too much, thinking things you shouldn’t?”

you nodded, exhaling shakily. “i just got scared… you’re always working late, and there are so many women—women your age—”

drew let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “that’s what you’re worried about? women my age?”

you pouted, not finding the humor in it, but his smile only grew.

“baby, if i wanted someone my age, i’d have them. but i don’t. i want you. age doesn’t change that.”

the sincerity in his voice made your throat tighten. “i’m sorry, drew,” you murmured, burying your face in your hands as embarrassment burned tears into your eyes.

“hey, none of that,” he whispered, pulling your hands away before wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against his bare chest. “c’mere.”

you clung to him, pressing your face into the crook of his neck, your sniffles the only sound in the quiet room.

“m’not upset with you, sweetheart,” he promised, one hand threading through your hair as he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

“why not?” you mumbled into his skin, the warmth of him grounding you.

he chuckled. “because i know you didn’t mean any harm. just promise me that next time, you’ll talk to me instead, yeah?”

you nodded against him, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “i promise.”

“good.” he sighed, his arms tightening around you. “now, let’s get some sleep.”

“i love you,” you whispered.

“i love you too, baby.”

[darkbluekies]

Yo hear me out

Ludwig reaches the age to find a bride. A ball is hosted and women are invited. Darling gets scared and gets flashbacks of her time and doesnt attend.

Here we go again

Yandere!king x fem!reader, yandere!prince, yandere???princess

Summary: it's time for the crown prince to find a wife, but it is more complicated because of his family's disturbing history

Warnings: violence, trauma from earlier ball, mother scared of her own child, conservative views, twisted family

Word count: 1.7k

Read this oneshot to get a better understanding

It’s normal for girls to have one, but Edmund has insisted that Ludwig should have one too. He needs to be put out in society, to find a queen worthy of the Vesanus-house. You doubt any one deserves to be in this house. They deserve so much better. 

All noble families and aristocracy have been invited in hopes of finding a wife for the future king … or what is left of it. You have no desire to join. It all is too similar to that ball — the one where Edmund decided you were going to be his. When many of your family friends died. When many of your personal friends died. The blood bath was a tsunami, and had given you nightmares for months. You have learned to love him. It’s not like you’ve had any other choice but to accept him. 

You can’t see this ball ending in any other way than it did that night.

“Come on, darling”, Edmund says as he walks into the room. “People are asking for you. You have to come now.”

“I’m not going out there”, you reply shortly, feeling panic set in your body. 

You’re not even wearing the right clothes. Dressed in your nightgown, sitting on the bed. You haven’t planned on leaving any time soon. The mere thought of entering the ball room makes your skin crawl. You haven’t been in there since that night. You’re not planning to either. 

“You have to”, Edmund says, walking closer to the bed.

You can’t control it anymore. “No! I’ll never go in there again!””

He stops. He isn’t used to people telling him ‘no’, and you can’t help but feel a bit cocky about it. 

“If you’re not there, people will talk!” Edmund insists. “They’ll talk about you more than of Ludwig and that will defeat the entire point of the ball!”

“I’m not going out there and I’ll take whatever punishment you come up with because I refuse!” you say through gritted teeth, even though you want nothing more than to scream at him. “It’s exactly like that night! I know that something will happen! He’s just like you.”

You hate to admit it, but Ludwig scares you. Your own child scares you. 

Edmund sighs and nods slowly. 

“Okay, I get it”, he says. 

You don’t look at him. 

“I’ll let you stay here”, he says. “You don’t have to come with me. Get some rest, okay, darling?”

You nod shortly.

“I’ll come check on you every now and then”, he says.

“Okay.”

Edmund walks over to you, cups your cheeks and kisses you gently. He gives you a small smile before he walks out and closes the door behind him, returning to the ball. Maybe this is for the better, he thinks. If you’re in the bedroom, no one will be able to put their filthy eyes on you.

“Father!” Ludwig says loudly to be heard over the crowd of laughing people. “Where is she? Where is mother?”

“She’s not feeling well”, he lies to not cause suspicion among the guests. “She’s resting.”

Ludwig scoffs. Resting? During his debutante ball?

“Not on my fucking watch”, he mutters and makes his way out of the ball room. 

He storms down the great corridors, getting further away from the music and laughter. The dark corridors are colder than the heated ballroom. He marshes towards the king’s and queen’s chamber with an anger roaring in his chest. He doesn’t bother knocking as he enters. You look up at him from the bed, a look of shock and confusion. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Ludwig spits and stops right in front of you. “Why aren’t you out there celebrating me? This is a gigantic day for me, mother!”

“I know, Ludwig, but I don’t feel well about it”, you mumble uncomfortably and avoid his intensive eyes. 

The same eyes as his father’s. 

“Because father fucked up?” he scoffs and presses his hands to his chest. “How's that my problem? Why can’t you support me?”

Because you’re like him. 

Ludwig knows about that night. He knows everything. Edmund hasn't understood why he should hide it when it's a big part of the family history.

“I’m sorry”, you say. “I have to rest.”

Ludwig doesn’t waste any time, doesn’t hesitate, before he grabs your wrist and yanks you up from the bed. A painful wave shoots through your arm. He’s holding your wrist in a hard, tight grip that is sure to leave behind bruises. He drags you out of the room, out into the big corridor. 

“Ludwig, stop!” you exclaim. 

He doesn’t listen, doesn’t answer, as if he hasn't heard you. You look around for anything to help you. Your eyes land on a maid carrying table cloths. 

“Get the king!” you plead. 

You continue to fight against Ludwig until Edmund storms over. He ran directly from the stood the second the maid reached him.

“Let her go this instant!” he orders. 

And Ludwig does. You fall down on your knees, clutching your hurt hand to your chest. Your entire body is trembling.

“Have you no shame?!” Edmund roars. “Your mother is in a nightgown! Should the entire aristocracy see her in this state, do you think?”

Ludwig’s ears have gone red. It’s extraordinary, you think, how Edmund is the only one that can make him seem human. The only one that can make him feel pure regret and shame. 

“If you can treat your mother like this, how do you expect any of the men in there to have respect for you?” Edmund continues and gestures back towards the way to the ballroom. “Do you think any of them will let any of their daughters marry you? Answer!”

Ludwig seems to struggle to talk. “No, father …”

“Ask your mother for forgiveness.”

Ludwig turns to you. You force yourself to meet his eyes. 

“Forgive me, mother”, he says. 

It sounds weird to hear him ask for forgiveness. You don’t answer him. Your voice have didappeared. Edmund helps you up gently and wraps his arm around you. You can’t help but cry as he starts to lead you back to the chamber. How could your own child be such a monster? Did he inherit nothing from you? Did you fail as a parent? Could you have done more for him?

“It’s okay, my jewel”, Edmund comforts you. “I will punish him. Did he hurt you?”

“No”, you answer. 

You clutch your painful hand tighter to your chest. 

“Good”, Edmund replies. “I will put guards outside your door to make sure that he won’t return.”

He tucks you in and gives you a sorry smile. He burns with anger. That child. 

“Edmund?”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s Victoria?” 

Ludwig storms down the corridor. Fuck everything. Fuck it all. 

He feels something hit him on the leg. He stops. He looks down, then around, but can’t see anything. Another small blow to his leg. He bends down and picks up a small stone. A small smile spreads on his face. 

“Shoot me one more time and I’m taking back the slingshot”, he says. 

“Not fair!” a voice whines from behind one of the heavy drapes by the large window. 

Ludwig walks over to the window and pulls away the heavy, red curtains, revealing a small child sitting on the floor. She giggles up at him. Ludwig crouches down in front of her and knocks on the wooden slingshot. 

“You’re supposed to be asleep by now”, he says. “I thought your governess was supposed to look after you. Where is she?”

“She fell asleep”, Victoria replies and giggles. 

Ludwig scoffs with a smile and picks her up, carrying her on his hip. 

“Alright, let’s go”, he says. “Back to bed.”

“No!” Victoria complains. “I want to dance too.”

“You’re too small. You can dance when you’re older.”

The thought breaks his heart. Reality is, he doesn’t want her to become older. He wants her to stay the little size she is now, innocent and cute. For now, she is the only person that doesn’t dislike him. 

“Have you found a wife yet?” she asks. 

“No, not yet”, he answers. “But the night is young — for me, not for you.”

Victoria hugs her brother's neck and rests her head on his shoulder. 

“I want a debutante ball too”, she mumbles. 

“You will have one, when you're older”, he says. “And I will make sure that no stupid men come to take you. They’ll have to go through a long and hard process with me before I let them come close to you.”

“Will you shoot them with the slingshot?”

“I’m the crown prince, I can do whatever I want.”

He carries Victoria back to the nursery. In the rocking chair, the governess is sleeping with a book in her hand. Ludwig rolls his eyes. He tucks Victoria into her bed and walks over to the rocking chair. He grabs the book out of her hands and hits her on the top of the head. She gasps and shoots up. 

“Hi, good morning”, Ludwig says sarcastically. “Do you know what time it is?”

“N-No, what?” she asks with a raspy, scared voice. 

“Ten. At night. Guess who I just found out in the corridor shooting people who walk by with a slingshot?”

The governess looks around wide eyed, searching for the little girl.

“Do your job before I make father find a new governess”, Ludwig threatens and throws the book in her lap. 

She blushes and apologizes profusely. Ludwig rolls his eyes. 

“Ludwig”, Victoria says from the bed.

“Yes?” Ludwig asks in a softer tone.

“Can you tell me about the ball tomorrow morning?”

“Sure.”

“Will you pick a nice girl? Someone that wants to be my friend?”

Ludwig feels his heart ache. He has friends, some at least — some that have been chosen to be his side when he'sking — but Victoria has none. It's not important. She has her tutors to teach her etiquette. A girl to be married off for connections doesn't need friends. 

“Yes”, he replies quietly. “I will.”

Victoria smiles and hugs her doll, closing her eyes.

Ludwig says goodnight to his little sister and walks out, making his way back to his ball. He will find someone tonight, someone worthy. And if he doesn't, he’ll have these balls until he finds one. 

[thecommunityoftrustworthysinks]

near the start of the essay ooooough this hits hard

(edit) a few more things i wanted to pull out:

(alt text in image description)

basically, supporting trans people means supporting trans men and that means you have to shift your paradigm to fit men into feminism. there's not an alternative

Is there a term for that phenomenon that happens when people tell transmen/transmascs not to go on testosterone/not to try to look more masculine because it'll make them ugly/fat/hairy/bald/whatever negative thing?

I know it's not transmisandry, but does it have a name or is it just general transphobia?

I mean surely that's not NOT transphobia? but I'm also not, like, in charge of how transmasculine people talk about stuff so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pastel-peach-writes]

Hii, i just read all and i mean ALL of ur fics, but i saw you wrote for arcane women and was wondering if you could write headcanons abt them with a socially awkward/anxious reader?? If not thats A-Ok 👌 with me

Sure! How is everyone doing after the first three eps? I still haven't seen it but the edits I've seen... oh boy.

"I Got You." | Arcane Ladies Headcanons

╰┈➤ PLOT: How the ladies of Arcane(Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika, Mel) act with a socially awkward and/or anxious partner

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Spoiler Free, On The Shorter Side, Cursing, Not Proofread

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

JINX

– At first, Jinx didn't get that you were socially awkward. She was used to people being awkward or even scared around her so she thought it was the same case with you until you two got closer.

– After knowing that your awkwardness was just you and not your fear of her, she observed you in social situations and noted what made you more anxious than normal.

– For example, she noticed you're more anxious and timid in bigger, louder spaces but if a space was quiet and quaint, you would be just fine so she often took you to quiet places for dates.

– If Jinx notices you're anxious in places you typically aren't, without a doubt she's removing you from the situation and taking you home where you can relax. No words, just grabs and tugs.

– She's tried the pep talk route before but it ended up in her rambling and somehow planning a terrorist scheme aloud... (yeah, a few patrons quickly left the area after hearing that), so she decided to scrap that idea altogether.

– At home though she would prepare what she calls, "A Safety Nest". It was a place in your shared space that had all your favorite things and trinkets, and she usually kept the space dimly lit and played your favorite music to calm you down.

– In social interactions where you take the lead in conversation, Jinx would quietly encourage you with big, almost alarming smiles and "gentle" pats on your back. Let's face it, Jinx can be socially awkward herself.

– Once the conversation concludes, she'll jump on you proudly, ruffle up your clothing, and pinch your cheeks endearingly all while calling you weird nicknames and quoting what you said while mimicking your tone and cadence.

––

VI

– Before you've had your first real conversation together, Vi could sense that you were an anxious individual.

– You fidgeted with your body while speaking, didn't hold eye contact long, and used a decent amount of filler words to casualize your sentences.

– She thought it was endearing to watch you act and move as if you thought no one truly cared about what you were saying or were afraid of boring others but you never bored her. She didn't think it was possible.

– You had tells and quips that revealed themselves with each conversation you two had. You showed more and more of your personality the more you got comfortable with her too. Vi loved it.

– When you spoke to her, especially when you went on tangents about things you were interested in, she always showed signs of active listening by nodding and asking follow-up questions. Even days later, she'll bring up the topic again to see if you have any updates.

– She made you feel seen and heard, something you've subconsciously craved. And when you went on your worry rambles, she consoled you and tried her best to stop you from spiraling.

– You thought about a lot of things and oftentimes about things no one else thought about. Vi thought your brain must've been exhausted with all the worries, doubts, and judgments that were usually wrapped up as others' but were truly your own; it was a lot for one person to handle so she strove to let you know that you were not alone.

– Is there a night you can't sleep because of your racing mind? Vi is there, holding you or reassuring you that everything is going to be okay. She can't sleep until you do anyway so why not speed the process along?

– You often had yourself stuck with your head stressing and worrying about multiple things at once and Vi was always there to bring you down to Earth.

__

CAITLYN

– Caitlyn's an encourager and a comforter with you.

– She's patient and silently allows you to take your time when gathering your thoughts midconversation but she'll also be the one to say, "It's okay, take your time," in the sweetest way possible.

– If there's an instance when you two are out and about and you really want something but are too scared to get it, she'll spring into action and get that thing for you. (Even if it was just a napkin).

– The only time she's frazzled socially is when you both are in an unfamiliar area and need to ask for directions. She'll stumble over her words and try to get someone's attention but they're moving too fast to hear her soft words.

– She'll get frustrated and you end up comforting her, but after a few backrubs, she's ready to try again. Her voice is strong and powerful, and people have no problem hearing her.

– You secretly thank whomever you have to for her determination but there was no way in hell you were going to walk up to a stranger and ask for directions like a tourist... which you were.

– Since Caitlyn's job has her socializing with a lot of people, she can get burnt out easily. Especially if work hasn't been going her way lately but even if she's burnt out and tired, if you seem to be more awkward or anxious than her, she's more than happy to step up socially.

– When you both have someplace to attend to or some event that holds significance, Caitlyn will not hesitate to stage a "social rehearsal" with you. She'll make flashcards of topics you could bring up, you'll both dress accordingly for the event in her living room, and she'll pretend to be an assortment of people so you can get used to different personalities all at once.

– It may seem like this is all for you, but honestly it helps her too. Sometimes she misses the personal cues of conversation leading the other to think she's a black-and-white thinking who has no time for pleasanties. Not true! She's very pleasant... sometimes she's just shy.

– Shyness is not a crime!

– After talking with the host and a few others she has to talk to due to her job, her social battery is depleted. She's extremely thankful you're able to recognize this and suggest leaving early. What would you two do without each other?

––

SEVIKA

– Oh, man. This lady found your awkwardness charming as hell.

– Your awkwardness was different than all the nerds and scaly-beings she's forced to be around. You were cute, looked perfect sitting next to her, and your awkwardness, as mentioned before, had a certain charming quality she can't quite place.

– She'll see you in your workplace trying to make casual conversation or small talk but none of your topics seemed to be landing. Your coworkers would give you a thin pressed-lips smile that she wanted to strike off of them to your attempts and then scoff at you behind your back.

– You were authentically yourself and those bastards didn't know what to do with it. They were scared, not her though.

– When you two got closer and comfortable enough with each other that you could tease one another or make playful jabs at the other's expense, no doubt she would tease you about your awkwardness.

– With those gorgeous eyes of yours, you would look everywhere else but her own, prompting her to say, "You know you can look me in the eyes, right? I won't bite", with the stupidest most shit-eating smirk on her face. And then when you look at her, a bit shocked and playfully annoyed, her smirk would only grow. "Unless you want me to."

– Sevika never made your awkwardness seem like a flaw. Your awkwardness came with you and she wanted all of you so she often encouraged your awkwardness.

– If she caught you trying to "reel" it in or realizing that you've talked for a few seconds too long, she'll playfully scold you and tell you to continue or to "let it out". Y'know. As someone who seethes dominance does.

– There would be an instance in which you go to Sevika asking for advice to be "less awkward" and her only response would be, "Why? I like your awkwardness, you don't need to change it. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is a sad loser and don't deserve to be in your life anyways."

– like damnnnn, okay!

– Safe to say you never asked her a question like that again.

--

MEL

– Mel understands your worries about what others think and the awkwardness that can come with it so she likes to help you in any way she can.

– If you're stressed about a council meeting and afraid of what everyone's going to think about the new perspective you'd like to bring to the table, she'll reassure you and tell you she's right by your side.

– If she can't physically with her hand on the small of your back, she give you nods of encouragement, raise her brows proudly, and look at you with that sense of pride and admiration in her golden eyes.

– After the meeting goes well, which she knew would, she'll congratulate you with your favorite drink and a night in doing all your favorite things.

– Even if there were parts in the meeting that were rocky, like the council people asking questions you weren't prepared for or getting rowdy, she'll say you did an excellent job and what you presented will help the people of Piltover.

– Oh, and don't think for a second that she wasn't sending glares and daggers to those who stirred up your anxiety even more. If looks could kill.

– Mel sees that sometimes your awkwardness and anxiety result in people-pleasing and she would shut that down real quick. She's fallen into that dangerous pool before and knows how hard it feels when you disappoint others and how much harder it is to get out of that mindset.

– She can get quite spirited with her encouragement...

– "Well, if they don't like it, that's on them! They don't know something good when they see it." "I've learned that hard way that you can't please everyone. You might as well say what you have to now. They can get over themselves later."

– It's actually quite attractive to see her stand up for you, even if she was standing up for the possibility.

– Always keeping her words in your mind, you find yourself navigating through life easier and you only have her to thank.

WC: 1,705

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.