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blindmagdalena · 8 months ago

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All of a Sudden, There You Are

3k. homelander x gn!reader. pining. pure fluff! an older fic that desperately needed cleaning up. rewritten for a consistent perspective and added 600-some words. gif credit. AO3 link.

As Homelander's stylist, it's your job to ensure he looks his best, whether he's saving the world or saving face in front of the cameras. After nearly a year servicing him, things between you change abruptly.

Familiarity and consistency feed a base need in all of us. So much of what is best in us is bound up in the permanence of those around us that it becomes the measure of our stability. For Homelander, there are precious few things in his life that offer him any such quality of solidarity. People come and go. It's the nature of the business that has always been his life.

He's stopped paying attention to the PA's, interns and other worker ants that rotate in and out. Their faces blend together in a bland sea of normality and mediocrity. They're little more than cogs in the machine of his contrastingly extraordinary life.

Funny, then, that you should catch his attention amidst the insectoid buzz of it all.

It happens quite abruptly. He's just sat down before a brightly lit vanity where it's your job to style his hair and makeup, as it has been for the last several months. You greet him good morning, as you do every time, but for whatever reason... He notices you today.

"Remind me, what's your name again?" Homelander asks, watching you draw a comb from your kit.

That visibly catches you off guard. You offer only a dumbfounded stare for a moment before snapping to attention, smiling sheepishly as you introduce yourself. The name doesn't sound familiar to him. Had he never actually asked? Probably not. There’s rarely a point in bothering.

He hums contemplatively. "You've been styling me for a while.”

"Yes, sir. About eight months now," you say, using the comb to begin working product through his hair. He’s fairly certain this is the most he's ever spoken to you in all that time.

That sounds like both a long while and yet no time at all. It's nothing in the grand scheme of his life, but in terms of the people he sees consistently, that puts you in a shockingly small pool of individuals. Inevitably they move on, whether by choice or because they’ve found a way to irritate him enough that he has them dismissed.

He can recall his last stylist not by their name or face, but by the way they’d always manage to spray product in his eyes. They hadn’t lasted two days. The one before that he can’t bring to mind a single detail of.

Typically humans only become exceptional to him for how they grate on his patience. You’ve somehow managed to avoid making yourself noteworthy in that regard. Before today you had served as little more than a properly functioning gear in the well-oiled machine of his life.

Now it's as though you suddenly exist to him. Blood, flesh, laughter and all.

"Gooood morning," he greets you the next day, once again triggering another flare of surprise in you. He’s aware of the strangeness of his initiation, but behaves as though he isn’t. He flashes you one of his trademark Hollywood grins.

"Good morning to you, sir," you say with an answering smile that catches his eye. You sound pleased, which tickles something pleasant in the back of his own mind. He likes how well you’re mirroring his shift in mannerism.

He waves his hand dismissively. "Please, Homelander is fine. You keep it awfully formal."

You're actually quite pretty, he notices. Not exceptionally so, not like the celebrities and figures of social influence that someone like him brushes shoulders with on a daily basis, but... pretty nonetheless. He doesn't remember you being this pretty before, and speculates while you work whether you've changed something about yourself. He cannot put his finger on what exactly that may be, though.

He’s perceptive when it comes to the things that matter. Until yesterday, you hadn’t.

You laugh sweetly, pushing your fingers through his hair. His eyes flutter shut as you do. You’re good with your hands, much better than the last stylist. He’s sure he made note of that at some point, but in the same way someone notices when a door stops squeaking. You take it for granted after the first time.

"I'm a creature of habit. Might take me a couple tries to adjust," you warn, covering his forehead with your palm as you spritz product into his hair. You never let any of that sticky crap get on his face, much less in his eyes. You take measures to ensure his comfort, even though he’s never scolded you. You seem to do it entirely out of reflex simply because you care enough to.

"Well, you've made it this far. You've got time to adjust," he says. Now that he's seen you, he finds that he doesn't care for the thought of you being gone. More than that, he starts actively looking forward to the time he spends in the chair with you. What used to be a monotonous aspect of the celebrity side of his life becomes a comforting ritual.

The two of you chat with surprising ease, like old friends made new. He tells you about himself, vents to you about work and personal business alike. In turn he learns about you and the life you live beyond the time you share with him. It’s nothing extraordinary–not like his–but it's yours, and for some reason, that’s enough to make it interesting.

The more he grasps that you are an entire person outside of the service you provide him, the more he wants to know. He doesn’t give a fuck about your elderly cat, but he does like the way your voice changes when you talk about it. His mind drifts when you tell him these little anecdotes, and he wonders what you tell the people in your life about him. He wonders if your tone similarly changes when you do. Do you speak fondly of him? Days turn to weeks. Little by little, Homelander discerns small changes in himself. There’s a slight pep in his step these days. The sun feels a little warmer, the thrum of crowded events less irritating. His attitude towards interviews flips; even the ones he used to dread he begins to anticipate. He knows you’ll have him looking and feeling his finest. He knows that regardless of what awaits him, you’ll have something to say about it that will make it easier to smile for the cameras.

Thinking of you is sometimes all it takes.

When he has nothing on his schedule to be styled for, he sulks. On those days, he misses your laugh the most.

He makes sure the products he keeps at home are the same as the ones you use. The smell of them reminds him of the smell of you, of your knock-off Dior perfume that fades too quickly after you apply it, which makes it just perfect for his keen sense of smell. The humble subtlety of you, your sincerity and gentleness, have become a boon against the unfeeling corporate reality of his life. On the days he does see you, he begins to miss you before he’s even left you. Now, as he walks to his next scheduled appointment with you, he’s painfully aware of the beat of his own heart. His stomach is twisting in on itself, though he isn’t hungry. If anything, he feels a little nauseous. The closer he gets to the door, the louder the cacophony inside of him becomes. Is he sick? That shouldn’t be possible, but he can’t understand what’s happening to him. Pausing just outside the door, he takes in a steadying breath.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Taking a moment to collect himself, he gives his face two quick pats on either side, shaking his head. Get it together, he tells himself, stepping into the dressing room.

“Gooood morn–” Homelander cuts himself short, looking around the empty room. His brows pinch. He isn’t early. Pursing his lips, he takes a brief stroll about the room, clutching his hands behind his back. He peers down the hallway, cutting through the layers of wall with his vision. No sign of you on the grounds yet. He clicks his tongue.

You’ve never been late. Unable to settle, he paces for a while. He has the thought to call you, but he realizes he doesn’t have your number. Why doesn’t he have your number? It seems such an obvious thing to have despite the fact he’s never needed it.

He’s just pulled out his cellphone to track it down from Ashley when the door suddenly opens and his head snaps up. The initial relief he feels is cut short, turning cold in his chest when the person who steps through the door is most definitely not you. “Good morning!” the woman greets him, her voice chirpy and grating in his ears. She’s not really happy to see him. She doesn’t know the first fucking thing about him. At most, she’s another sycophantic drone who’s only pleased to breathe his air. In his upset, she looks freakishly distorted, her smile overly wide and fake. His leather gloves creak as he curls his hands into fists. “Who the fuck are you?” he asks, voice as measured as he can manage it. His anger hits in an unreasonable surge, hot like lava from a volcano. This woman’s only crime is the fact she’s not you, and yet it’s enough to make him want to rip her head off her shoulders, spine and all. The woman hesitates in the doorway, her chipper demeanor flipping to a fearful one. “Uhm, my name is Lisa, I’m supposed to style you to–” “Where is my stylist?” he interrupts her, prowling towards her like a hungry predator. He says again, louder this time, voice full of anger and anxiety in equal measure, “Where the fuck is my stylist?!” “I– I don’t know!” Lisa yelps, stepping backwards from him. “I was called in as a last minute replacement! They said– they said there was an accident, or–” Homelander pushes her roughly out of the doorway, blowing past her with a frustrated growl. She hits the wall hard before crumpling to the floor like a lifeless sack of potatoes, but he doesn’t even register it. He calls Ashley, stalking down the hallway, his footfalls loud with fury. Why the fuck didn’t anyone think to tell him? “Ashley!” He snarls into his phone the second she answers. “Tell me where the fuck my goddamn stylist is.”

Homelander is at the hospital within minutes. The staff puts up a meager effort to enforce protocols, but he’s The Homelander, and after a lie or two, they eventually let him through. He hates the smell of hospitals. The sickly mix of bleach and illness, the buzzing of the fluorescent lights. They never should have brought you here. You should be in Vought’s med ward.

You should be with him. When he finds you, you’re sitting with the hospital bed halfway reclined, wearing nothing but a hospital gown. The vibrant reds and blues of his suit paint a sharp contrast to the stark white walls of the hospital room when he steps inside. You have a pudding cup in your hand, though you nearly drop it when you see him in the doorway. His hair is woefully unstyled, splayed loose in every direction from his flight. “H-Homelander,” you sputter, choking on your bite of pudding. You swallow, clearing your throat. He’s walking towards you. The closer he gets, the faster your heart beats in his ears. “What are you doing here?” “Are you okay?” He asks, blowing off your question entirely. He blinks and his vision flickers through your clothes and skin alike. He scans your body for internal damage, for broken or fractured bones. You’re not wearing a cast or anything, but he needs to be sure. You nod, clutching at the blanket, wearing your confusion plainly on your face. “Yeah, I’m okay, it’s probably just mild whiplash, but I’m getting an x-ray to be–” “You’re fine,” he breathes more to himself than to you, his relief palpable. He can hear the flustered patter of your heart clearly. With the adrenaline wearing off, he’s beginning to feel that sickly familiar feeling that he had experienced in the hallway; butterflies rampant in his stomach, battering their wings frantically inside him. His jaw feels tight, his tongue too big for his mouth. Staring at you now, frail and precious as you are in this ugly hospital bed, he realizes what’s the matter–what has always been the matter–he is deeply and incurably in love with you. “Are you okay?” You ask, taking in his tortured expression, his wildly wind-swept hair. The obvious concern in your voice and in your eyes churns his already twisting gut. “No,” he says, the response knee-jerk. Even though the room is still, he feels as though the world is spinning around him. “No, I think I’m in love with you,” he says, expression twisted up, like he’s figuring out each word as he says them. Your heart skips a beat, your breath catches in your lungs. It’s as if the words have paralyzed you. Homelander laughs. It sounds a little hysterical.

“I’m telling you all of a sudden, but it isn’t new with me,” he says, reaching out to cup either side of your face in his gloved hands. “I love you,” he says, voice firmer now, the realization setting in fully. He looks slightly delirious with it. He’s discovered a secret that he should have known all along, that seems so obvious in hindsight. Of course he loves you, because you love him. The gentleness in your hands as you touched his face, the care in your fingers stroking through his hair far longer than both of you knew you needed to. You dedicated yourself like no other to showing him reverence in service of him, and is that not love in its purest form? And yet, you don’t look to share his elation. You look like you’ve been struck by lightning, expression wide and bewildered. You still haven’t taken a breath. Homelander’s smile falters. “What’s the matter?” He asks, tone dropping a touch. “This is good news! Great, even.” For every second that you do not speak, the beat of his heart feels heavier in his chest. Why don’t you look happy? Finally, you suck in a shaky breath. He watches you with all the intensity of a viper poised to strike.

“I…” You hesitate. You lift your hands and grip his wrists, squeezing them through the thick fabric of his gloves as if to convince yourself that he’s really there. Maybe the accident was worse than he thought. Did you hit your head?

Panic swells in his chest. It hadn’t occurred to him you might not reciprocate. The thought makes him ill.

“I never…” your eyes turn glassy, welling with tears. “Say it!” he wants to shout, his own heart hammering loudly enough to nearly drown out your words. “I never would have thought–or even dreamed–in a million years that you might love me back.”

love me back.

Like a dying ember roaring back to life, Homelander’s demeanor reignites, his faded smile broadening once more.

“I realized it when I was worried fucking sick because you didn't show up,” he says, leaning closer to you. He’s brought the scent of ozone from the sky he tore through on his way to you, but all he cares about is the faint smell of pudding lingering on your lips.

He huffs a laugh. “They sent in some idiot to fill in for you. Like they could replace you. I almost tore her head off,” he says, giddy with euphoria. Your expression shifts, brows furrowing. “Wait, what? You almost-” “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he interrupts, his voice a low rumble. He can already taste you in the breaths you’re close enough to share with him, and he’s never been hungrier for anything–or anyone–in his life. You fall silent with a shiver, nodding minutely, eyes falling shut. “Please do.” His lips meet yours in a gentle press. He deserves a medal for not crushing you with the sheer magnitude of his desire. You all but melt against him, settling into his grip as smoothly as you settled into his life, his mind, his heart. When the two of you break apart, you make a breathless noise that shoots through him like a bolt of lightning. He feels hyper aware of your every sound and move.

God, how he wants to feel every part of you.

You move your hands to touch his face and he leans into the softness of your caress. You’ve been close enough to kiss more times than he can count. The fact it’s only now occurred to him to do so seems like lunacy. Your eyes dip to his lips, your thumb brushes the bottom one. He catches it with a quick kiss and you laugh your sweet bell-chime laughter.

Pushing your hand into his hair, the wondrous joy in your expression becomes tinged with amusement. “And people wonder why I use so much gel,” you murmur, smooth the wild splay of his hair down with both hands, cupping the back of his head. Homelander smiles wide and boyishly, which prompts you to kiss him again.

“I’m not having some kind of brain bleed hallucination right now, right?” You ask quietly, the tip of your nose lightly pressed to his. He brushes his lips against yours between words. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack,” he purrs, stroking your cheek with his thumb. Despite the ugly fluorescent lights and the dreadful hospital stench all around, you look resplendent in your joy.

He had been right. It was love that you touched him with. It had been subtle, imbued in your every movement, and for months he had soaked it up until, unbeknownst to him, he fell into it as well.

“Trust me when I say you’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on,” he says, brushing your nose with his.

Maybe instead of tearing them limb from limb, he’ll send flowers to whoever the sorry son of a bitch that rear-ended you this morning was. Who knows how much more time he would have wasted before he realized he was utterly smitten with you.

#i've been meaning to get this fic fixed up for ages bc the original was a MESS and randomly switched to the reader's pov halfway in lol #but i have major fondness and nostalgia for this fic #it's from like my first month in the fandom #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander fanfiction #x reader #my writing #fluff

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namism · 2 months ago

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their love languages

➳ categories: canonverse, gender neutral reader

➳ summary: Looking into everyone's top love language/s with Sanji, Nami, Law, Zoro, Kid, Koby, & Sabo.

➳ notes: thank you for 200 followers!! i don't write headcanons, but here's a special treat for everyone who's ever read, liked, and supported my fics! 🧡

Sanji: Words of Affirmation

Above everything, Sanji is a smooth talker.

He's incredibly good at romancing you through his words that it doesn't take long for you to completely fall head over heels for him.

Canonically, he calls people with different pet names. "Mellorine" is arguably the most creative. If he were with you (or were trying to flirt with you), he would definitely create a personal nickname that only he would call you.

That said, there is no defeating his terms of endearment. All of them are truly endearing.

Also, best believe that he's amazing at communication.

You know how couples need therapy because their communication sucks? Yeah, that's not happening in a relationship with Sanji.

If this man can flirt through words, then he can talk things out with you.

Overall, Sanji is a very romantic person, but he would work out the most with someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation.

Acts of service as second? Sure. Quality time as third? Sure, but overall, words of affirmation takes the cake.

His sweet talking is just something an ordinary person can't resist.

Nami: Quality time/Gift giving

Is this a hot take? Maybe, but Nami is definitely sweet to whoever she ends up falling for.

She values hanging out with her friends and the people she cares about, so it wouldn't be any different if it were with you, the person she's into. Something about spending time alone together is intimate for her.

On another note, Nami would totally be into giving gifts.

Being the treasurer of the ship apart from the navigator, everyone is aware that she's strict with where the Straw Hats' money goes. It's safe to say that this would be the case for her personal savings as well, even though she likes to treat herself every so often.

But being a shopaholic just means that she loves buying things not only for herself but also for you.

Nami would totally buy you gifts if she finds anything that reminds her of you, and you can imagine it playing out sweetly.

Who knew the frugal Nami would willingly spend money on someone she likes? It makes you feel incredibly special because she doesn't casually do that for other people.

Law: Quality time/Acts of service

If you were a member of Law's crew, he would definitely appreciate the one-on-one appointments with you whenever you needed a checkup or anything of the sort.

Call it unethical, but let's be serious—he's a pirate who happens to be a doctor (or is it the reverse?), his epithet is quite literally "Surgeon of Death," and above all else, he isn't doing anything malicious when you come to him.

Instead, it's all sweet and innocent. If Law were to like you, he initially wouldn't know how to act around you, so he's grateful for the quiet moments that you share together alone, no matter the circumstance.

He would enjoy your company and would totally think that being extra cautious and careful toward your health is a good way of subtly letting you know that he cares for you.

He would be the type to do things for you without being asked. Usually it would be medical related, but once he gets more comfortable about showing his feelings, best believe it would be more than just that.

Zoro: Acts of service

Zoro is the type to save people, so he would keep an eye on you every time danger arises.

While he would save any innocent person or civilian in danger, his decision to rescue you whenever you need rescuing comes from a more personal reason rather than simply playing a hero.

Newsflash: it's because he likes you.

He isn't the type to show his interest toward someone through other means anyway, so his best bet is showing it all through actions that you never asked for to begin with.

His feelings would become more obvious the more he does things for you without question, which he would be pleased by because it would mean that you're picking up on his signs.

He would work best with someone whose love language is servitude, especially if you're the type to appreciate the little things that people do out of genuine concern.

Kid: Physical touch/Words of affirmation

When it comes to Kid, he's heavy on physical touch if you already have an established relationship.

Of course, he wouldn't do anything if you guys aren't official yet—even though he's bolder at flirting than the average One Piece man, he wouldn't want to come off as creepy.

Hence, physical touch is the way to go once you're together. He would be the clingy type in his own unique fashion.

If you aren't together yet, he would show his love through words of affirmation.

However, it isn't anything like Sanji's sweet talking in a way that is straight out of a romance film. Kid has his own way of doing things, so he would affirm you through compliments that often have one or two cuss words in them, which end up sounding mean but isn't actually mean.

For example: "Great job, brat. You did a shitty job last time, so it's nice to see you outdoing yourself."

Kid is just that guy, but he can also be sweet if the moment calls for it

If you're into those kinds of things, then dating him would be no problem.

Koby: Acts of service

Koby wasn't dubbed "Koby the Hero" for nothing. This man is deemed a hero even outside of work because of what he does for you.

Koby would be the shy type in a relationship since he stutters as a habit, so he would comfortably express it through actions.

Similar to Zoro, if you need rescuing, then he will be there. He would do things for you out of kindness because he likes you.

His love for you would be innocent and sweet.

On that note, Koby would be the type to do the smallest things for you, so if you're the kind of person who would be driven insane by the smallest acts of kindness, then Koby's your guy.

He would hold the door for you, get a glass of water for you if you're thirsty, check up on you randomly, and ask you to continue speaking if you accidentally happen to talk over each other.

Koby does his best to express his feelings, so he hopes his actions are good enough.

Sabo: Acts of service

In a perfect world, Sabo would make an amazing Prince.

It would seem ironic given how he canonically hated the nobility (including his family) because of the way they looked down on the less fortunate, but if Sabo never left nobility, he would be a Disney Prince.

Sabo does things in service, so it would be no different for him to initiate acts of service toward you.

He would be the type to do things without expecting anything in return.

Similar to how he would drop everything should Luffy or Ace be in danger, he would immediately go out of his way to save you or tend to your needs if the situation calls for it.

It's his way of expressing that he cares for you, and he sure as hell would make sure that you know he's interested.

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taurusvenusian · 5 months ago

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common synastry aspects for romance and marriage 💍🤍

disclaimer: this is in no particular order and only what i noticed in my synastry readings + my personal relationship experiences. my explanations here are still quite general so you can book a reading with me if you want a specific and accurate analysis of your chart specifically and want to know about challenges and strengths of your relationship.

Sun conjunct/trine/sextile Moon

♡ there is almost an instant emotional understanding and find it easier than others to see eye to eye emotionally. please do not take this for granted! ♡ sometimes without even speaking, you guys already know what the other is feeling.

♡ you find that the Moon person naturally has the capability to offer the Sun person the space to express themselves or may even suggest effective ways for you to do so, could be vice versa.

♡ when you think about each other, there is just a softness that you feel inside. you are very dear to each other.

Ascendant conjunct Descendant

♡ you two are LITERALLY MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

♡ you have the qualities that they need in a partner and vice versa. if challenges present themselves, it may be due to other planets and aspects in individual natal charts.

♡ you balance each other really well. it may be challenging to decide on your own when the other is not around (co-dependency and feeling like your other half is gone)

♡ I have this with my current boyfriend and we just naturally fit into each other's lives like puzzle pieces. it feels like there was no adjustment stage and we just naturally knew what each other wanted by just being ourselves.

Venus conjunct/trine/sextile Mars

♡ very sexy and powerful aspect due to physical chemistry. Venus person balances out the somewhat aggressive or too energetic tendencies of Mars person.

♡ Mars person is captivated by Venus person's beauty and way of doing things, while Venus person is amused by Mars person's masculine energy.

♡ you naturally gravitate towards each other and make each other feel desired and loved.

Moon conjunct/trine/sextile Venus

♡ so much emotional assurance and safety. i envy you :"( hihi

♡ your connection feels meaningful and unlike any other connection you've experienced before. you feel safe to open up towards each other and have the capability to make each other feel seen and heard

♡ you may even entrust them with secrets you haven't told anybody else yet ♡ you express your love and care towards each other through many consistent ways

Sun conjunct/trine/sextile Venus

♡ mutual admiration, warmth, and affection

♡ Venus person gives sweetness and charm while Sun person adores that and makes the Venus person feel appreciated, sometimes it could be the other way around ♡ you both just genuinely enjoy spending time with each other and feel a sense of comfort together. you can be doing nothing but still feel happy and fulfilled together

Moon conjunct/trine/sextile Moon

♡ no explanations needed, they know what you feel just by looking at your reaction or even just listening to your tone when you speak.

♡ emotional compatibility and safety are so good as you have a similar way of processing your emotions.

♡ you are less likely to feel invalidated by them. they may make it a point to prioritize your emotions ♡ for Moon conjunct Moon ... because you have the same way of feeling your emotions, you may have the tendency to be stuck in old ways because no one is facilitating or sparking some change or sense of growth within your relationship, so just be cautious of that.

Juno conjunct or trine the Sun/Moon/Venus/Mars

♡ Juno is the asteroid of marriage and partnership and so, aspects to this show that the Juno person wants to pursue you/sees a chance for partnership or long-term commitment with you, or it could very much be mutual. ♡ you both value loyalty and may easily find the strength to work through any challenges together.

Venus or Sun conjunct/trine/sextile Saturn

♡ you may not be fully conscious of it, but you are deeply devoted and committed to one another. very good aspect for long-term partnerships.

♡ this is the kind of love that grows, matures, and deepens over time (ofc not without its delays/challenges in the early stages)

♡ it's giving the "grow old together" type of love. the notebook vibe!

North Node conjunct or trine Sun/Moon/Venus/Mars

♡ north node gives a fated quality to the partnership. feels like you were meant to meet and impact each other in that way. ♡ lots of growth!! and the feeling of being destined to meet doesn't really go away and adds to the lovey-dovey feeling. ♡ personal and spiritual goals may feel easier to reach when together.

Venus conjunct/trine/sextile Pluto

♡ this might be a hot take, but for me this often manifests as deep emotional bond and transformation (if relationship is taken care of consciously and both are aware of and can handle the power dynamics).

♡ very deep intimacy and emotional healing may be felt because of the partnership.

#synastry #astro notes #astro tumblr #astrology community #astro observations #astro community #astro placements #astrology notes #astrology

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beifong-brainrot · 24 days ago

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One thing I love about tlok more as I age, is that it actively veers away from pitting women against each other.

While atla wasn't awful on this front, Toph and Katara's arguments often took on the flavour of Toph talking down to Katara for her percieved feminine qualities. Pairing this with Toph's insults towards male characters, specifically Aang, often having an emascualting "Don't be such a girl" type of vibe, it paints a good picture of Toph's strained relationship with femininity, and other girls, most likely due to her past, both in her family and in the ring. Katara and Toph's tale in Ba Sing Se was a nice step away from that rule, but the Runaway sorta circled back towards this argument. As much as Toph seems to secretly enjoy "feminine expression" she will still talk down to it in public.

But we can talk about Toph's internalised misogyny later. We see the phenomenon of women tearing each other down elsewhere in atla too, especially in the relations of the Fire Nation girls, like in how Mai and Azula lash out at Ty Lee in the Beach.

And I'm not saying it's bad that atla portrayed these interactions, they're a part of life and many of us are trained to talk down to other fem folks.

But it is so refreshing to see tlok subvert that trope in B1. For all the complaining about the love triangle, I really love the arc it gives Korra, who has probably barely interacted with girls her age.

When she first meets Asami, she's a little intimidated, but falls a little into that 'not like other girls' streak.

With Korra falling into more of a 'tomboy' category, similarly to Toph, it wouldn't be very unexpected for her to be portrayed with a more tumultuous relationship to femininity and people we percive as fitting into it better. This is something a lot of girl, women and fem folks go through irl.

Korra: [To Asami as she swims over to her; somewhat dismayed.] So, what do you have planned for us today? Let me guess, shopping, makeovers ...

We see that Korra has a set idea of what Asami is like based on her presentation and mannerisms, and doesn't think she can find a common language with her. But this expectation is quickly subverted when Korra and Asami race together and we see that they do get along very well.

And I like that Korra not only apologises for writing Asami off, but also attempts to partake in something feminine, makeup, showing that she's become more open to finding a 'common language' with girliness, something she previously saw as alien.

Korra: I gotta admit, I had you pegged wrong. I thought you were kind of ... prissy. [Raises hand; quickly.] Eh-No offense!

And throughout the show, although there is plenty of drama, Asami and Korra stay on relatively good terms, which is a relief. A lot of shows tend to stoke drama between its female leads, but Korra and Asami stay friendly, and more, throughout the show.

Korra: [Chuckles in relief.] Well, whatever happened with Mako, I'm glad it hasn't come between us. I've never had a girlfriend to hang out with and talk to before, except for Naga. This is nice.

And it's not just Korra and Asami's relationship that fosters an air of women supporting each other. Tlok shows us many women of different backgrounds helping each other become stronger, encouraging them to realise their potential, comforting each other in dark times and so forth. I also think it's nice to see so many older women who support and encourage younger women, as atla did not deliver on that front.

And I know it feels like such a low bar, but I think it's so important to highlight in shows, especially shows starring women and female characters.

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galene-gothic · 5 months ago

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𝖡𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖾 - 𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

“plain beauty quivers in the presence of

charisma for it senses a stronger opponent“

Today we'll take a look at:

- the beauty of being you that solely belongs to you

- how should you go about enhancing your ethereality?

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ The beauty of being you that solely belongs to you ꒱

The beauty of being you comes from the fact that you have come to value reciprocity. However, despite how much you value reciprocity, at this point you’ve turned more stingy with your time, energy, presence and emotions because you understand that not everyone deserves you in certain ways. You’ve become someone who doesn’t reciprocate much or give anything away until you’ve vetted the other person out properly. It’s funny because you have a very generous spirit and you might not mind buying things for others or giving sweets to little children along the way if you happen to meet any. You have been manipulated in the past and have had felt powerless and it initially led to a lot of confusion, fear and mental health issues. You might have been deluded about certain things and situations but it led to you seeing and facing many different sides of yourself. Initially, it was not enjoyable but this deep dive within your psyche has led to you having a knowledge of yourself including what’s valuable to you. You’ve started putting yourself first no matter what and prioritise self care strongly. You’ve become someone who doesn’t care much about closures as long as the other person’s actions to show for it. You have something very raw about you, sometimes your emotions come out very strongly which is a weak point but it only further adds to your charm because the rawness you possess is striking. However, this is something people usually don’t see coming. You have an image of someone who’s more submissive honestly. People often believe that you’d not have it in you to stand up for yourself which seems to be kind of true, when someone tells you something hurtful, you just sit there and process it without much reaction at all. Even if you do react, you haven’t fully grasped what was told to you so you still react pretty calmly. You are self critical and seem to have a slight bit of an inferiority complex so people think that you’d lack boundaries and you seem to be really theatrical, and overdo it at times in terms of being friendly, laughing, enjoying and expressing yourself because you still have a lot of pride and don’t like to show weakness which gives you a very interesting image, almost like a manic pixie dream girl/boy but with more dimension to your character and your moments of rawness and vulnerability only further add onto it. You seem to always value exciting times and freedom, and I’m not sure if you realise or not but there’s a slight fleeting charm to you due to these qualities. You’re a realistic person and take actions with rationality. You see past illusions, one way to tell that this is true is that you can see the illusions of the past as illusions and accept it. You’ve become someone very demanding in terms of romance and that’s good. You choose from your heart but you don’t forget to rationalise things and reason properly. You don’t give into fantasies and possibilities anymore. You think that if something is worth it, it’s going to be more than fantasy and possibility driven. You’re hopeful about the future and are very inspiring because you are gentle, friendly but still independent and kind of distant. There’s an elusive charm to you as in despite you overdoing it by being too friendly at times, you don’t give yourself away easily and despite your self critical nature, you don’t let it have a hold on you to the point you don’t see the reality of situations and you continue being hopeful.

You also sometimes end up showing really raw emotions but it still doesn’t change how gentle of a nature you possess. There’s something serene about you. You’re pleasing to the senses in more ways than one because you have this natural ability to see and appreciate others’ core essence and their quirks, qualities that they may have been made fun of or excluded for. You treat people who are disabled with a lot of normality too. Supposing, your classmate was a special child, you could have talked to them normally and joked around with them, and never mentioned anything about the way they were. There was once a point when you would have remained loving and empathetic no matter what but you mostly extend that to yourself these days. Emotionally, despite having been hurt and betrayed, and having to heal from it. You have this purity to you that ends up touching the inner child of others. You know how to make people feel that flutter in their stomach and heart, you naturally gain other people’s affection because you show a caring attitude. There’s just this childlike crush that others seem to develop for you. You also have a great capacity to involve yourself deeply and emotionally into your emotions for others, in others emotions and in their lives but you don’t feel like it anymore. You understand that unless there’s a commitment, there’s no need for you to do that. You have incredibly high standards and expectations for yourself, and others. It affects your emotions when you end up giving too much of your energy to someone because at this point, you know that not everyone deserves it. For some of you, there was once a point when you used to get angry at the one you were involved with because there was a lot of love present and you wanted the connection to go well and you wanted to be understood so bad but it was taken the wrong way so you ended up blaming yourself for it for a while (days, weeks, months) but you eventually realised that it was not your fault. Why it adds to your beauty is that they’ll never find love like you again. I’m pretty sure they’re still just trying to fill the void. Enough about them, your soul is one that others are going to heavily rely on in this lifetime, you won’t mind things being one sided in your early life in terms of effort but interestingly, it’s going to be situations where the other party seems to lack gratitude and appreciation for you and all that you offer which is funny because they met an almost angel-like version of you and you added so much contentment to them but they have this weird belief that that contentment is innate and that you’re the one who should be grateful to them and for them, and that’s going to lead to regrets and contemplation for you because you won’t know how to abandon someone you gave so much too but after you do let go, they’ll end up missing you more and more. You’ll pretty much haunt them for the rest of their lives. You have been a missed opportunity, a ‘what if’ in many people’s lives and that is beautiful in some ways because your energy is so beautiful, it is remembered even long after you’re gone but you deserve so much more than to be cherished as a memory and always will, and have the awareness of that. I keep on hearing that song ‘because i miss you’ by Jung Yong Hwa and I haven’t listened to it since like 2022.

꒰ How should you go about enhancing your ethereality? ꒱

Your ethereality is in the innocence and kindness that you can spread out into the world. You’re not innocent as in you’re a child but you are innocent in a way where it is so deeply ingrained in you, you wouldn’t be able to get rid of it even if you really wanted to. This is why you crave love that is very pure and almost divine in nature, not just in terms of romance but in every relationship. Don’t look at this difference that you have from the rest of the world as a weakness but instead make it your strength, turn it into your brand. You have this ability to understand people and see parts of them that they themselves cannot see which has led to a lot of disappointment for you in the past because, while they had the potential, the potential was nothing but an illusion unless they would have been able to turn it into a reality. It’s not a bad thing that you look at life in a very psyche oriented manner but use it selectively, when people do want to get better, you can show them their path through this ability of yours. You’re a very deep and intense person, it might be so bad that you might think that no one would be able to understand you or meet you at that level. However, your capacity for depth is so beautiful, you do not even need to see other people’s depth like you may have previously, you just need to explore your own. You’re a total muse just because you are who you are. Make every day of your life a testament of that, be the art, be the artist. Your kindness mixed with your capacity for depth can lead you to spreading love and tangible service to others that will help you understand yourself further, and go to show your own beauty and ethereality, one that actually puts good out into the world and makes a difference. You should set a goal that you want to touch at least a certain number of people’s lives deeply i.e. the ones who are unfortunate in some way and you don’t share any personal connection or desire for that with them. You simply just want to enhance the quality of their lives because you want to do so. We live in a world where physical beauty standards are high but somehow, women are still able to match up to them so there are millions of gorgeous women physically but kindness is a trait that is needed but in lack due to the superficiality of the world. So why don’t you make use of it and become the kindest person you can be for yourself and others? There’s this saying that goes “if you give a man a fish, he will have a meal for that day but if you teach a man how to fish, he will have a meal for the rest of his life.” Try to teach those who are willing to learn and even if they are not willing to, don’t be afraid to drop a few wise and helpful words here, and there for you never know how they’ll be used going forward. For example, you give one friend a few wise words because you think that that could help them, even if they do not learn from it right away.

They might in the future or if they don’t, someone else around you could end up enhancing their life by taking your word. “Even if you’re happy, don’t forget the sorrows of those around you.” Always look out for those less fortunate than you, put yourself first but never be too self occupied and centered to be blind to the suffering of others. Be stubborn minded and keep yourself fixed on wanting to lead a life of integrity, dignity, peace and righteousness even if you’re labeled as selfish, cruel or cold. Have faith in your silent power and don’t try to show it to anyone. When they go low, you go no contact forever. Share your knowledge but don’t give all of your thoughts away for free, there are people who will build a whole new life for themselves, taking the advice that you gave them and act like they’re all that as if they’re not living off your philosophies. Think quietly and live by certain things quietly without expressing them. Be private and stingy with your time, energy, words and presence. Walk and move slowly, and sensually. Also, don’t hesitate to but people off early on or after you receive the first red flag. Don’t be afraid of playing players, just remember not to get attached. I don’t think that most of you have it in you to play games so I think you should just not engage with players at all. Besides the best way to play a player is to not engage in his game at all. Keep your options open but don’t be available to any of them until you’re actively pursued and treated well, and have them try to commit to you. You’re allowed to paint yourself qs a fantasy by tailoring yourself to look, be, smell and feel a certain way. Spend time by yourself and make sure you have certain aspects of you and your life that are solely reserved for you. Always have gratitude for what you have, who you have and who you are but remain self focused and keep most of your emotions to yourself. Learn how to deal with them properly by yourself while still having a healthy approach and perception of relationships. Don’t mind cutting people off and being seen as someone who looks at relationships differently, and has different expectations and standards. You’re extremely powerful, you should harness that to the fullest by becoming someone who sets intentions and actively takes actions in order to become who you are and get what you want. Learn independence and try not to base your happiness upon community, belonging or love of any sort. Live passionately, love intensely, grow intensely, work intensely and go after achieving the recognition that you desire by enhancing certain skills and also yourself as a person. Work hard for social recognition by not craving it but building yourself to the point where even if you didn’t want it, it would naturally find you. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ The beauty of being you that solely belongs to you ꒱

The beauty of being you comes from the contrast between your ruthless mind, loving heart and kind spirit. You’re someone who holds a lot of self respect and is passionate, also a bit blunt in words and actions. You tend to be so focused on your goals and life that you might come off kind of selfish. I’m not getting it being intentional on your part. You’re someone who values passion but not to the point you give up on rationality. You seem to be well recognised to some extent, in some way. You’ve become someone stingy who doesn’t share themself and what they’ve got that easily. You value stability and there’s this natural knowledge that you possess that the only way you’ll be able to maintain a sense of stability within yourself is by not letting anyone have that sort of power over you. You’re someone a bit standoffish in your energy and mindset but there’s also this calm awareness that you’re not better than anyone, and that you don’t need to be because you’re the best in your own way and the worst in your own way. You’re usually controlled and try to consciously maintain this sense of control but sometimes, you can get cruel, angry, cold and very frightening. Despite this standoffishness, when you interact with others, you’re nice and seem to be passionate, and fun so they are like “maybe I overestimated this person, maybe they’re not all that intimidating after all” but the moment they get this cold and harsh side of you, they realise that they underestimated you and that you can be very scary. In terms of emotions, you seem controlled, focused on building your finances, emotional well being, loving and all but you don’t get obsessive over anything. While, you do have your angry moments, usually you’re smart enough to not react to anything. Even if you hurt, by this point, you’ve learned that if someone wants to leave, they should be allowed to. You’re highly capable of love and very loving. This quality of yours has caused you to receive the shorter end of the stick in the past because people saw that you had a loving heart and they took the love, and decided to leave when convenient without any regard for your emotions, possibly with disrespect or nonchalance but your ability to act like they never even existed in your world is crazy. You’re someone who tries to not even think about these situations and people because you’re wise enough to know that not everything and everyone deserves your energy and reactions. You have a very generous soul and are very passionate, lively and genuinely compassionate. Despite all the instability, shame, hurt and betrayal that you’ve had to deal with, you’ve not lost your true spirit, you’ve become stingier with certain aspects of yourself and what you have to offer but when you see someone in need, you’re willing to try and help. You have managed to build your stability back again by possibly acting like you could never recover or feeling like such, there were those who purposely tried to knock you down to a peg for their own sick and selfish satisfaction, and though they may not admit it, they’re shocked and deeply admire the way you’ve managed to grow out of and from such situations.

You hold yourself back from people, situations and thoughts that don’t serve you. What has led you to this point seems to be how helpless, trapped and ruined you were, and felt. You were fearful and unaware of what to expect or what was going on around you and in your life. You dealt with major life events that were tragic, one after another at that. You’ve dealt with feeling vulnerable and unwanted by a string of people, you’ve had your affection and tenderness misused. You’ve honestly had your innocence used to manipulate you at some point. You could have been obsessed with someone or certain people who made you feel rejected, and you ended up falling into a loop of comparison and envy but the more time that passed by, the more you realised how unfair you were being to yourself. You decided to win in the end no matter what. You decided that you would gain out of every situation that had you down in the dumps and you succeeded in doing so. You learned lessons but also started setting goals and working towards them with consistency and willpower. You decided to take control over yourself and your life again, and the better you got, the more you realised that you had always been powerful, that you still are powerful, even if others tried to make you forget so or didn’t see it. You have become a fairly defensive person due to that, you aren’t paranoid and defensive but if someone tries to make you step out of your power or try to show you down in any way, you decide to stand up for yourself even if it’s just within yourself. You are firm and persistent about your goals, and are grateful about all that you are and have. You are content and value being present in the moment. You understand that there’s nothing more precious than the here and now. You don’t try to shed your light upon anyone anymore, you instead try to keep it hidden or at least inaccessible so that no one can feed off of it just to act like the warmth and light belongs to them or radiating off of them 💀. You decided to leave behind people, situations, habits, mindsets and anything that made you unhappy. You’re a very intense person who loves obsessively and you’ve realised that not everyone deserves it. You’re hot and cold, sweet, sour and spicy, and very unpredictable, that’s what makes you so beautiful. Like, you can be cruel but you’re usually very reasonable and able to maintain your calm, you are so loving and know how to have fun with others to the point they start underestimating you but you know how to assert a cold and cruel aspect of yourself if you’re truly pushed to it, and despite your reasonable and practical nature, you’re very intense in terms of connection but when you’re done, it’s like things never even happened, like you never even knew each and people don’t know, they don’t know what they’ll get from you, no one knows what they’ll get from you. Also, the fact that you’ve not let yourself go, that you’re still the kind and compassionate spirit that you once were, that you were never knocked down to a peg and even if you were, you still built yourself back up, regained stability and reconciled with yourself is the beauty that solely belongs to you.

꒰ How should you go about enhancing your ethereality? ꒱

Your ethereality is in your secrecy and inaccessibility. Recently, you’ve been feeling called to gate keep yourself and you genuinely believe that either no one or most people do not deserve you. You should approach life with the knowledge that not everyone has your best interests at heart. Put your healing first and remember those days when you had to cry, felt lonely, were mourning and hurting, make peace with the fact that you never deserved any of it and keep it in your mind that despite having dealt with many obstacles and difficulties in life, you’ve managed to come this far, you can continue doing so no matter what comes your way. Don’t forget how much love you have to offer but understand the value of it by your own. Don’t try to show its value to anyone in order to attract potential lovers or friends, it is of no use, let those who deserve it discover and see it for their own. Trust yourself and put your love in the right places, especially into yourself. You do not need to play the fair game all the time, the world is unfair, the fairest thing you can do is live and let live, don’t try to do anything more or overextend yourself to others. Put yourself first and don’t worry about having a little bit of audacity, just make sure that you have something to back it up, be a kind person who does good things for others in the real world, especially those less fortunate than you or with special ailments. You can’t have an audacity and nothing to back it up, you are not a man. You might be actually but anyway. Be active in the community, treat your family members with love and care, give others love in community settings (by ‘others’ I mean those who deserve it or are less fortunate than you). Be intentional when it comes to emotions, understand where to invest them and where not. Have set standards and don’t change them for anyone under any condition. Don’t mind hurting others if they are trying to hurt you or not being who you need them to be. Don’t even bother saying anything, it’s just a waste of words, just cut them out and move on. Be realistic and live, and love right in the present moment. You won’t be able to help but deal with people passionately but even if you do, don’t think that it’s the end. Keep in mind that everything is temporary and anything could happen at any time. You’re meant to be ride or die and receive a lot of recognition for who you are and what you do in this lifetime. Every action that you decide to take, keep in mind that the only things that can have power over you are things that have your attention. Be selectively attentive and selectively unattentive, and if possible even absent. Absence increases your value. You should not be around those who need you to be all nonchalant and absent in order to be in love with you but make sure to have your own life and live it, not just so you’re not too present but also so that you can make the most out of life. Always accept people and situations for what they are. “Characterise people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.” Welcome back, Serena Van Der Woodsen. I’m not sure why I said that either, it just came through. Serena is someone who, if she was in this day and age, one picture, no tags, no reels, no grwms, she’d go viral and everyone would be obsessed with her.

You are probably the same too or you’re at least capable of having that effect of others. “I have to go” that’s what she always says. You’re being told to keep yourself busy enough so that you ‘have go to’ a lot. Your time is precious and it is slipping by every second, don’t waste it and instead make the most out of it by keeping your best interests, desires, passions, growth and stability in mind. You don’t have to feel bad about not giving your time to anyone. Give your time to yourself, that’s the most important. What’s being highlighted here for you is to date and become your own friend, and someone you can look up to before going out there and seeking connections. Keep your time reserved for yourself and your family unless others earn it. Don’t get stuck in the waiting game, EVER. Keep yourself on the move and don’t rest for long periods of time unless you are absolutely certain that it is favourable to do so. Don’t put efforts into the wrong places, don’t act like everyone’s broken heart is for you to fix, let people be, let them deal with their life on their own, you deal with your life on your own too. Don’t forget to extend kindness to those less fortunate than you in practical ways such as donating clothes, food and money or even just simply volunteering in communities made for causes like these but don’t take on other’s emotions and baggage onto yourself, EVER! Don’t engage in competition but don’t feel bad about outshining or hurting others when they have one sided competitions with you and you win. In the past, you’ve had friends who used to accuse you of being selfish and flawed but they couldn’t explain why they thought so because it was just an illusion that their ego battle with you created. Like, you’ve had people call you ugly and selfish out of the blue but talk to you nicely on the other days. Why do you think that is? It’s because they dislike you because they see something great within you. When it comes to connections and emotions, always be grateful and stay content, you’re not lacking anything just because you may not have a partner or friends. Be independent, self sufficient and learn how to enjoy being by yourself. You need to kill the desire for connection while still being open to it and capable of it. Be loving and kind, be practical, down to earth and take care of others but understand that yearning for connections should not rob you of your peace and the joy of the present moment. It’s human and natural to desire connections, I’m not telling you to kill your desire for it as in become all hyper independent but just be content to be by yourself, don’t let your desire for connections ever surpass the contentment and joy of the present moment. Try to be who you are supposed to be i.e. passionate, on the go, ambitious, blissful, loving and someone courageous who will break free from even the tightest of the tightest and the most hurtful, and high quality ropes. Romanticise yourself but do it realistically, romanticise the good things you do and set a goal to do more good things going forward, and become a better and better person by trying your best in the smallest of small and biggest of big ways. To sum it all up - “you do not have to be good, you do not need to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ The beauty of being you that solely belongs to you ꒱

The beauty of being you comes greatly from your onion like layers. You’re someone who is a bit more contemplative, stable, fair, balanced and like you’re managing different aspects of your life well. You could be a libra ascendant or have libra placements that give you this kind of image? Doesn’t have to be. Most of you are usually booked and busy. You’re an ethical person who treats everyone well regardless of their economic background, appearance, etc. It just comes naturally to you. You do not understand how anyone could be repulsed by certain people to the point of treating them differently from others just because they may not look physically appealing or come from a poor family because you are usually unbothered. Other people’s differences and quirks don’t faze you because you’re just naturally in this state of unbotheredness. Even physically, your reactions are usually slow because you’re often thinking about your own duties, progress, time management and what you need to do or you’re busy doing them. For some of you, your authentic self is very unbothered with a natural poker face but due to social conditioning, you may have or could fake reactions and be more expressive facially. However, trust me, the beauty of authenticity is different, you do not need to be all expressive facially, your indifference is a charm on its own. There’s this certain gentleness to the way you move and despite you having a poker face, you still have something slightly soft about it. There’s still this air of class, respect and nonchalance to the vibes you radiate. You often have any baggage that you’ve dealt with on your mind. There was a point when you were betrayed, hurt and possibly humiliated by multiple people either within the same time or in a string at different times. You’ve dealt with the lowest of lows but you decided to get better by moving away from any hurt that your life and other people may have caused you. You have it in your mind that if you have to abandon anything or anyone for the best, you should and will do it. You’ve become someone who is self respectful and low-key competitive. You’re not competitive as in you try to beat others or get better than them but you’re competitive as in, if someone was to come in your way to the success, achievement and recognition that you seem to be pretty certain that you deserve because you’re very hardworking and you actively strive to be so, you wouldn’t mind completely crushing them to move forward. You often have things like self improvement, routine, achievements, skills and discipline on your mind. You value work ethic and actively try to maintain a strong sense of it.

You’re a thought daughter/son though, you seem to think a lot. One of the reasons that you may try to maintain a strong work ethic and routine might be because it stops your thoughts from overpowering you. Emotionally, you’re changing and someone very warm. You also seem to be self assured. You’re someone fairly logical and reasonable. You are someone who is discovering, exploring and developing yourself instead of seeking these things outside of you i.e. in connection with other people, which is very admirable. Changes are not easy but you’re not falling onto someone else to support you through it but are instead planning on your own growth and emotional well-being without relying on others. You can be very stubborn, cold and cutthroat if hurt though. Usually, you just decide to exit situations that push you out of character. You’re aware of what the lowest of lows feel like but despite it, there’s a chance that some of you feel like that’s all you’ve known in life, you’re able to be optimistic and push forward, you’ve always been this way. You have this natural sense of abundance, warmth and vitality within you that pushes you forward through the toughest of days. You also add a lot of warmth into the life of others. You have the entire world within your soul. You look at life and the world as something that you have grown a lot from and has a lot of beauty within it, and you especially look at yourself like that. Even if there are times when you might question yourself, you know that your natural essence and truth is that you’re full of warmth, vitality and abundance, you know that you’re irreplaceable. In the past, you seem to have dealt with miscommunication, aggression and others misunderstanding you almost on purpose. They probably just didn’t have the capacity to or willingness to understand you. You have been the target of other people’s hatred but it is very interesting because you were a down to earth person with morals and values who tried to look after others and take care of them to the best of your abilities. You shared communities with them like school, universities, friendship groups or possibly romantic connection(s) and you understood them on a very deep level. You are devotional and dived deep into them and their psyche to the point you developed fondness, pity and an understanding of themselves that they themselves might not have had. You had a very unconditional way of loving regardless. However, it led to you depleting your natural sense of abundance, resources, emotions, energy and affection. You were down to earth, tried to take care of others and well meaning but after all that happened, you felt like you had been deceived and you barely recognised yourself. When you were younger, you could have sworn that you’d not let anyone make you question your worth but you were in fact questioning your worth at that time.

‘What was I made for?’ by Billie Eilish is coming through as your energy at that time. “Taking a drive, I was ideal. Looked so alive, turns out I’m not real, just something you paid for. What was I made for? Cause I don’t know how to feel but I want to try. I don’t know how to feel but someday I might.” “Think I forgot how to be happy, something I’m not but something I can be, something I wait for, something I’m made for.” You started a new journey with almost a childlike innocence. You made the decision to be happy, to have fun. You changed your thoughts about commitment and learned that feelings are supposed to be given time to develop at their own time without idealisation involved in the mix. At some point, you wondered if you just weren’t enough, if you just weren’t worthy of commitment and devotion because your affection and purity of heart had been abused, and you entered a phase of your childhood self, one when you were in a similar energy with no one to rely on. You felt trapped like you couldn’t escape. You felt victimised and were isolated. There was anger and hatred that you had to deal with. You came out of this energy with the acceptance that you had been manipulated and you thought you were powerless. You realised that you gave too much when you deserved to receive just as much and barely received anything (if you did anything at all). You could have felt like you were used as an unpaid therapist, purse, arm candy, placeholder, replacement for a romantic partner, etc. (depends on who you are and who you had to deal with). You decided to be cruel if need be there, you started putting yourself first and had zero tolerance for bullshit. You knew that you couldn’t afford it. You embraced changes and moved away from whatever didn’t serve you. You did so having compassion for yourself. You deserved so much better and you knew it. You started seeing past matters of heart i.e. your personal connections as something that you had deluded yourself about and accepted them as illusions. You had a strong sense of pride and didn’t let your heart turn cold. You just started reserving it for the well deserved. You were extending your warmth, compassion and love towards yourself at that time. You got to know yourself deeper on a psyche and soul level, it may have been scary but you realistically faced different aspects, truths and sides of yourself. You also started craving something more real, something that’s not idealised but present right in reality. You matured significantly spiritually, emotionally, mentally and even in terms of your actions. The beauty that solely belongs to you is that despite not idealising yourself, your life and your past, you’re at peace with it and in fact, kind of proud of yourself. You’re able to find the beauty in yourself, your life and actively work on yourself, develop and improve yourself. You desire authenticity and realness within yourself, and the world around you, and you’re not willing to settle for anything less. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

꒰ How should you go about enhancing your ethereality? ꒱

Your ethereality is in your authenticity that gives you a natural dreaminess. You should work harder in order to be more theatrical and enhance your authentic, and dream like qualities. Much like the previous pile, gate-keep yourself. Don’t try to prove yourself to anyone. Don’t seek approval and praise from anywhere. Be selectively honest about certain flaws and personal struggles that you may have dealt with. You take everything as a duty, a responsibility, including attracting others and connections with others. You take on a lot of burden to please the other person and be something that they may like. Use this quality for better things i.e. enhancing your natural ethereality in a way that suits your personal taste and nobody else’s. One persona that I think you could embody and would fit your personal taste is someone who has fun with others in a way that contrasts your poker face and almost regal aura but is very serious about themself, their personal boundaries and morals, and will not budge, when you are going to have fun with others, they’re inevitably going to start underestimating you, learn how to put them in their place at that time and be serious about not pleasing anyone except yourself. The reason that I suggested this persona for you is because it seems to fit you the best but if you feel like it’s not authentic to you, the point is to simply build more authenticity and not carry the burden of impressing others, building and carrying connections onto yourself. Keep your options open in every connection until you meet someone who is trying to meet you where you need them to meet you, and you consider them to be an equal to you in terms of qualities and won’t feel like you’re settling for them. Don’t forget your values of respect, loyalty, stability and deservingness. Keep in mind that not everyone deserves you so it’s better to be untouchable. Start thinking from a place of “I’m attractive, hardworking, smart, it’s guaranteed for me to attract attention but I need to be careful with the attention that I choose to entertain for not all attention is good attention, and not everyone who I receive attention from deserves my energy.” NEVER tell anyone about your goals, just pop out with the end results. Learn how to not have dreams about people you barely know and don’t try to build passion with undeserving people just for the sake of it. Don’t mind being a fleeting presence in other’s lives but never fall into the trap of being a grounded presence or into the game of waiting unless there’s a solid commitment present. Be true to yourself and make sure to not give your passion to just anyone, don’t try to give everyone the passion that you hold within yourself. Keep it gate-kept until deserving people actually enter your life.

You need to understand the value of what you bring into connections and into the world. You’re sensitive to the emotions of others and are able to heal other’s wounds and inner children. You know how to provide an affection so pure, they’ll always feel like a middle schooler in love, your heart is pure and you have the capacity to get so emotionally involved that them hurting, just the mere thought of it hurts you too. Does everyone deserve you? Of course not. Don’t give this quality out to everyone for free, keep it to yourself. Find ways to enjoy being alone so that you can truly gate-keep yourself. You need to know the value of your presence enough to not be present everywhere. One way to be able to cultivate the quality of selective presence and gatekeeping yourself is by associating your emotions with your self improvement, your dreams, the state of your heart and your goals. You can’t be fair to everyone and you do not need to be, not everyone deserves you that’s the truth of life, not everyone deserves a chance at a connection, don’t be closed off to connections but don’t be too open to them either. Understand that you’re so valuable, you require people who see, appreciate and honour that, they also need to be valuable so you can do the same for them. Understand that you’re so valuable, you require people who see, appreciate and honour that, they also need to be valuable so you can do the same for them. Keep yourself busy and on the go but don’t try to be something that you’re not i.e. don’t try to be like “I’m gatekeeping myself because not everyone deserves me” if you’re a desperate person with no life and allows them in your headspace 24/7. Instead, actually become the person i.e. keep yourself busy and have things that you’re actually doing, not because you’re trying to attract others but because you have one life and there’s so much to try, and do, and you should not waste it. I’m not telling you to be full of yourself and act like someone you’re not but it is important to not be available to everyone in terms of personal connections and even just your presence. All I’m asking from you is high standards, selectivity and boundaries. With those that do deserve you, treat them well, show them appreciation, gratitude and affection. Have a lot of fun with them, go places with them, explore with them and don’t mind diving into the depths of their psyche. Also, don’t gate keep yourself to the point that you have no community. Learn how to not give away your emotions, words and reactions to people within it who do not deserve it because the truth is that you are going to have to and will want to deal with people no matter what. I also recommend joining communities with shared interests and causes. The main point here is to have control over your energy. Be authentic to the point you repulse those who are not authentic to themselves, all while attracting them and also attracting others around you but don’t give yourself away to anyone freely. I’m not sure if you noticed it but when you were open to everyone and giving them unconditionally, they took from you to the point you lost your authenticity and that’s when they left or started acting like they were better than you in some way. You are going to attract those who will try to crush your authenticity, which is why I’m putting an emphasis on gatekeeping of the self. Thank you for reading. Much love and take care.

#intuitive readings #pac #pac reading #pick a card #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #pick a pile

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l0stglitch · 6 months ago

Text

Platonic yandere lost boys

Notes- I’ve had this idea for an au in my head for a while now after reading the lost boys daughter au by @bella-goths-wife. I don’t usually post so sorry if the quality isn’t the best (I’m also from the UK so I might get some slang mixed up 😭).

Warnings- Light yandere behaviour (Reader is unaware) | Non violent kidnapping

• You moved to Santa Carla when you were young- around 6 or 7.

• After a fatal illness stole your father’s life- you, your mum and your two half siblings packed your bags and left for the coastal town.

• Unlike your siblings, you seemed to instantly fall in love with Santa Carla. Your little eyes wide as you took in the beauty of the vast beaches with their towering palm trees.

• To say you settled in quick would be an understatement.

• It was only a month or two after moving that you first met them.

• Your siblings, much to their dismay, had been tasked with watching over you for the night.

• The moment your mother had left you to do her ‘adult chores’ (no one had bothered to tell you what she was actually doing) the two of them were quick to do their own thing.

• Kelly, being 16, left to go and chat up a couple of guys with her friends.

• Sean stuck with you a little longer than his sister had, however upon seeing a group of kids from school, the 14 year old mumbled some half-hearted excuse and told you to stay by the carousel before promptly ditching you.

• So that left you, a defenceless child, all alone.

• You weren’t particularly bothered, after all, this wasn’t the first time they had left you by yourself.

• You found it interesting to watch all the different people go by.

• Santa Carla was a lot more diverse in terms of population compared to your previous home.

• There, you had lived a pretty sheltered life. Only exposed to a small slice of the world. Everyone there was like you. Or at least, like your family.

• Here though, everyone was different.

• You thought it was amazing.

• Dwayne noticed you first. An alarmingly young child sat by the carousel all by yourself. He didn’t usually take much notice of the people around him, but seeing you alone had awakened some long forgotten feeling from within.

• He wasn’t sure if that uncomfortable squirming in his stomach was some strange vampiric instinct Max had failed to tell them about, or if there was still some humanity left in his unbeating heart.

• Either way, it put him on edge.

• The others were quick to notice Dwayne’s change in demeanour. Particularly David- the self appointed leader of the pack.

• Every now and again the brunette’s gaze would drift over to the carousel, land on you, and then flitter around in search for someone who may be looking after you.

• Needless to say, he couldn’t find anyone.

• After around an hour David grew tired of his partner’s divided attention, and suggested they just ask you where your parents were.

• You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a little intimidated by the four men who for some reason had decided to surround you.

• Dwayne crouched down, so that he was at your level, and regarded you thoughtfully. He didn’t smile, but his expression wasn’t exactly threatening either.

• He asked where your parents were, and upon finding out you had no idea, offered to stay with you until someone came looking for you.

• David left, refusing to be seen with a child, and dragged a conflicted Marco with him.

• Much to Dwayne’s surprise, Paul stayed, although it was obvious he was too high to understand what was actually going on.

• For the rest of the night, you stuck by Dwayne’s side as he guided you through the busy crowds of the boardwalk.

• Eventually the three of you stopped at a stall selling handmade jewellery.

• You couldn’t help but stare at one of the necklaces laid out on display.

• To your young brain, it was beautiful.

• The necklace was made of leather, with beads and feathers hanging from a knot at the end.

• Dwayne noticed the way you fixated on the jewellery.

• “Do you like the necklace?”

• You nodded, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy. You knew your mama hated jewellery like that. If she were here, she’d scoff and call it ‘tacky’.

• Dwayne didn’t reply. Instead, he turned his attention to the woman running the stall.

• He waited until she had turned away, before snatching the necklace and grabbing your hand.

• You had to jog to keep up with his giant steps.

• Once you were a fair distance from the woman, Dwayne bent to your level and carefully fixed the necklace round your neck.

• It was ridiculously long for you, but you didn’t care.

• “You shouldn’t steal.” You said, looking up at him with an innocent frown.

• Behind you, Paul cracked up laughing, making you flinch at the sudden loud noise. A large hand came down to rest on your little shoulder as Paul crouched next to you.

• He looked between you and Dwayne with a grin, “Hear that Dwayne? Little missy here’s telling you off.”

• Dwayne chuckled slightly at Paul’s comment, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground, as if trying to compose himself.

• When he finally met your eyes, he sent you a gentle smile.

• “Stealing’s only bad if you get caught. If nobody knows you did it then it doesn’t count.” You blinked, not entirely understanding his logic but trusting him nonetheless.

• “Yeah- no point in paying for shit when you can just steal it,” Paul chimed in, patting your head as he stood up.

• Dwayne sent his lover a stern look at his vulgar language but didn’t say anything.

• The three of you continued wandering around for some time after that. You weren’t sure how long it had been since your siblings had abandoned you, but it felt like hours. Your feet had become sore from walking so much, and you were struggling to keep up with Paul and Dwayne’s pace.

• Thankfully, you eventually ran into Sean, who seemed slightly disturbed by the two men you were accompanied by.

• You were surprised by his mistrust towards them: after-all, they had been very kind to you. A small smile graced your face as you remembered the necklace that hung limply from your neck.

• Well, you didn’t care what Sean thought of them. They were nice to you. Nicer than your real family.

• After that incident, you began noticing Dwayne and his other friends more whenever you visited the boardwalk at night.

• Sometimes you’d run away from Sean and Kelly, preferring the attention you got from Dwayne and Marko.

• You were introduced to Marko not long after meeting Dwayne and Paul.

• He had greeted you with a lot more energy than the other two, surprisingly happy to meet you.

• You liked Marko a lot. He always seemed excited to see you, and never grew tired of playing games like hide and seek.

• David, on the other hand, you weren’t so sure on.

• He never spoke directly to you, in fact, you weren’t sure he ever looked directly at you either.

• One night you had asked Dwayne why David didn’t like you. He simply gave you a sad smile and said, “He will one day, Y/n, just give him time.”

• Unbeknownst to you, David did like you.

• He liked the way you giggled at Paul’s jokes. The way you squealed with joy when you caught up to Marko in a game of tag. The way you stared up at Dwayne with absolute adoration every time he spoke.

• It pissed him off how much he liked having you around.

• After all, you weren’t their kid. You already had a family. A neglectful one at that- but a family all the same.

• You weren’t theirs.

• You should be, David thought, watching your face light up as Paul somehow managed to win you a giant bear at a carnival game. You fit in with the pack perfectly. He had never understood Max’s desire to start a family until you had shown up. Whilst at first David couldn’t stand the thought of being seen with such a young child, he now felt a strange, sick sort pride when people saw you with them.

• Unfortunately, he wasn’t the best at showing it.

• But for now, that didn’t matter. You had been living in Santa Carla for around 6 months, and most nights were spent with at least one of the boys.

• You never questioned why they were so eager to see you all the time, or why you only ever saw them when the sun was down and the moon was out.

• To your naive, 6 year old brain, those details were irrelevant.

• Your big sister Kelly, however, thought otherwise.

• She had brought up your strange company over dinner one evening. As per usual, your mother was out, so she had left her eldest daughter in charge food, which unsurprisingly meant that the three of you had ended up eating greasy pizza from a takeaway.

• “You need to stop running off with those creeps, Y/n,” she had told you sternly, taking a small bite out of the slice of pizza in her hand.

• Your gaze dropped down to your lap, and you anxiously began fiddling with your fingers. You hated being told off.

• “But they’re nice to me,” you looked back up and met her eyes timidly, “And they spend more time with me then you two,” you added, looking over at Sean, who kept his eyes firmly fixed on the food in front of him.

• Kelly scoffed at that. “I don’t care how much you like them. You’re 6! Mum’s gonna kill us if she finds out me and Sean left you by yourself!”

• You flinched at her harsh tone, tears beginning to gather in your eyes.

• Sean finally looked up from his food, immediately noticing your distress.

• Your head was bowed, so he couldn’t properly see your face, but a fat droplet falling onto your plate told him all he needed to know.

• “We just don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said gently, leaning in slightly.

• Unfortunately, his words seemed to provide no comfort whatsoever, as you jumped down from you chair and ran out of the room.

• Sean scowled at Kelly.

• “That went well.” He snapped, shoving another slice of pizza into his mouth.

• She glared back at him, “I’m trying to make sure our sister doesn’t get kidnapped.”

• “…Half-sister.” Sean mumbled through the food in his mouth.

• “Yeah.. well she’s still our responsibility- mum’s too busy to help.” Kelly replied, unaware that you were hidden behind the door, listening in.

• You had no idea what a ‘half sister’ was, so hearing Sean’s comment made your throat tighten uncomfortably as you fought another fresh wave of tears. You didn’t understand why you were only ‘half’ a sister. Were you not good enough for him?

• Sean had always been nicer to you than Kelly, but suddenly you weren’t so sure either of them liked you that much.

• Not wanting to hear any more of their conversation, you ran upstairs to your room and buried yourself under the covers.

• You fell asleep quickly. Crying always seemed to make you tired.

• It wasn’t until at least a week later that you were able to see the boys again.

• Your siblings had made sure to keep you in sight every time you went to the boardwalk.

• Fortunately for you, there was a concert one night.

• The crowds made it easy for you to slip out of Sean’s hand and run away as far as possible.

• You weren’t even looking for Dwayne and his friends, really. You just wanted to get away from Sean and Kelly- their conversation about you still fresh in your mind.

• Despite this, you ended up running into David.

• He was leant up against some metal railing, a lit cigarette hanging leisurely from between his lips as he listened to whatever the woman beside him was talking about.

• You weren’t sure what to do. None of the others were around, and you didn’t want to be walking around the boardwalk alone, but you still weren’t entirely sure David actually liked you. Sure- he had never been outright rude to you, but there was something about the way you’d catch him staring at you that creeped you out.

• After significant hesitation, you walked over, your stomach twisting into knots as you caught his eye.

• He seemed slightly surprised to see you, but not necessarily unwelcoming.

• The blonde woman beside him took a step closer to you before squatting down and holding your hands in hers.

• “Are you lost sweetie?” She questioned, her head tilted slightly and her lips curving up into a gentle smile.

• Your eyes jumped from hers to David’s, unsure of what to say.

• He came closer and rested a hand on your small shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze. You blinked. This was new.

• “Alyssa, this is my daughter- Y/n.”

• You kept your expression neutral, but internally you were just as shocked as this ‘Alyssa’ woman was.

• “Oh! I didnt realise you..” She started, before trailing off, processing the new information.

• “Well, it’s not something I usually tell people right off the bat,” David replied, completely unfazed by the whole interaction.

• He glanced down at you, almost theatrically, before looking back up and meeting the blonde girl’s eye. “Her mum’s a total druggie, so it’s just us two now,” he continued, lowering his voice slightly with a crestfallen expression.

• Alyssa rubbed your knuckles pityingly before standing back up to her full height and looking at David. “I’m sorry- that’s terrible. Y/n is lucky to have you as a father.”

• David just smiled at that, before glancing down at you, “Y/n, Marko and Paul are hanging around the video store- why don’t you go and say hi. They’ve missed you.”

• You nodded eagerly, offering up a quick goodbye to the pair before running over to the video store, almost tripping over your own feet in your haste.

• You weren’t sure why David had introduced you as his daughter to that nice lady, but you weren’t completely opposed to the idea. David might be scary, you thought, but he would certainly make a pretty cool dad, with his spiky blonde hair and long black trench-coat.

• By the time you had reached the entrance to the store, you were completely out of breath, breathing in short, excited gasps as you walked in.

• For a moment, you were distracted by all the screens. You had never seen so many TV’s in one place, it was hard to know which one to look at.

• Suddenly, a hand came down to rest on your back, jolting you out of your thoughts.

• Turning around, you were surprised to find a man who seemed to be in his 40s or 50s (you weren’t particularly good with ages) smiling down at you.

• He wore a pair of pale rimmed glasses and his brown hair was nearly combed into a side part. The complete opposite of who you were looking for.

• Max knew exactly who you were. He had overheard the boys talking about you numerous times when they thought he was out of earshot, and additionally, he could feel it through their shared vampiric bond.

• He could feel their possessiveness every time you were with your biological family. That burning desire to protect.

• Max wasn’t at all surprised. Despite his boys’ apparent ignorance to the reason behind their strange situation, he knew exactly what was going on.

• You had unknowingly wormed your way into their pack, and they had become obsessed. Unintentionally of course, Max mused. David in particular wasn’t exactly the nurturing type. Despite that, there was little anyone could do to combat their instincts to protect the youngest member of the pack, especially with how vulnerable you were.

• “Hey kiddo, you in need of any help?”

• You blinked up at him, momentarily forgetting why you had ran into his store in the first place.

• “I um- I’m looking for my…” You trailed off, unsure of how to describe your relationship with Marko and Paul to the man.

• “Your parents?” He offered up gently, his eyebrows quirking a little.

• You shrugged timidly. Were they your parents? You weren’t sure at this point. You already had a mum, but she wasn’t around much anymore. What about your dad? You realised you couldn’t remember a whole lot about him.

• Dwayne and his friends seemed to have taken his place. Although you were starting to wonder whether they actually were his friends, or perhaps something else.

• They held hands a lot- particularly Marko and Paul. And when no one was around, sometimes you’d catch them exchanging tender kisses. It reminded you of how your mama and dad used to kiss. She’d often tell you how in love she was with your father. Maybe Dwayne was in love with David, Marko and Paul?

• The two latter individuals strode into view, as if summoned by Max’s question.

• Marko greeted you with an excited grin, “Hi pumpkin! Where’ve you been hiding all this time?” He questioned playfully, picking you up and spinning you around.

• You laughed, happy to see them. “I wasn’t hiding silly!”

• Paul gently hit Marko’s arm, “Stop hogging her man!” He huffed, prying you from his lover’s grasp.

• You wrapped your arms around Paul’s neck, causing him to chuckle slightly.

• “I’ve missed you baby. Where’ve you been?”

• Max, who was stood slightly off to the side now, didn’t fail to notice how keenly they wanted to know your whereabouts.

• For the past week or so, all he had felt through the pack bond was a painful longing for you. It was very sweet, but unfortunately quite distracting for a man who was trying to run a store.

• You smiled sadly at Paul, “Sean and Kelly didn’t want me seeing you guys anymore- they said you were creepy…” You trailed off, noticing how Paul’s expression had grown considerably darker.

• “Did they now?” You looked over at Marko, who had just spoken. He was staring at you intently, almost as if you were the one who had said those things.

• You looked down at the floor and nodded, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

• “You don’t agree with them do you?” Paul asked softly. You weren’t sure you had ever heard him sound so… dejected?

• You quickly shook your head in response, desperate to try and cheer them both up. It made you uneasy seeing Paul sad and Marko angry- they were both usually so cheerful around you.

• “Well, as long as you know that they’re wrong about us,” Marko said with a shrug, his lips forming a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Not that you noticed, only being a young child.

• “I know!” You assured him, smiling back.

• Paul and Marko shared a look, both of them feeling slightly threatened by the apparent worry of your siblings.

• Max cleared his throat, drawing their attention back to him. “Perhaps it’s time you took her back with you.” It came out as more of an order rather than a request, but that wasn’t what bothered Paul and Marko.

• They were more confused about how their head vampire somehow knew exactly what was going on with you and what their plans were.

• “You uh- you know about..?” Paul gestured down to you, frowning at Max, who merely chuckled at the younger vampire’s confusion.

• “Trust me. I know what it’s like to crave a family, that’s only natural for… people like us,” he explained, amused by the bewildered looks that adorned both their faces.

• Max looked down at you briefly, making sure you weren’t paying attention to their conversation before adding, “Might I suggest you get her-” he paused, searching for the right phrase, “-settled in as quickly as possible. The sooner you remove her from that neglectful mother and her spawn, the sooner she’ll forget about them.”

• The harsh choice of words caught them off guard, but neither said anything.

• Marko couldn’t stop the grin from forming on his face, “That shouldn’t be a problem Max,” he replied, resting his hands on your shoulders and crouching slightly so he was eye to eye with you.

• You weren’t sure what had caused his mood to change so erratically, but you weren’t in a hurry to complain.

• “Me and Pauly wanna show you a very special place, but you have to be a good girl for us.”

• Behind him, Paul scoffed quietly at the nickname.

• “I’ll be good!”

• “You promise?” He asked seriously, holding out a pinky finger.

• “I promise.” You answered solemnly, linking your finger with his.

• He nodded, satisfied with your answer before standing to his full height and glancing back at Max, “We’ll see you around then I guess.”

• Max hummed in reply, and watched as the two of them led you out, Paul holding your small hand in his.

• You excitedly squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. “We gotta go find Dwayne and David now, Y/n,” he told you, carefully scanning the surrounding area.

• “I already saw David earlier!” You replied gleefully, trying to tug Paul over to where you had seen him before.

• Marko stopped you before you could lead them over. “David told us to meet back at the bikes,” he countered, mainly speaking to Paul rather than you.

• Paul nodded in agreement, “Yeah I remember now. We should probably head over there then.”

• You felt slightly dejected by the way they had both completely ignored your help, but that feeling melted away as the bikes came into view and you saw David and Dwayne hovering nearby, clearly deep in conversation.

• “Hey! David! Dwayne! Look who we just ran into!” Paul called over, grabbing both men’s attention.

• Dwayne snapped around the moment he heard his lover’s voice, his eyes immediately landing on you.

• “Dwayne!” You cried gleefully, slipping out of Paul’s grip and running over to hug the long haired brunette.

• He embraced you tightly, as if worried you were going to disappear at any moment.

• You were surprised by how firm the hug was, but thought little of it. You were back with your favourite person, and that was all that mattered.

• “I’ve missed you princess.” You smiled, happy to hear his deep voice again after a week of being stuck with your siblings.

• “Me too!” You replied, pulling back so you could look Dwayne in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to hug you more, but refrained from doing so- not wanting you to feel smothered.

• “Marko says that you’re all going to show me somewhere special!” You informed him matter of factly, unable to contain the excitement that was leaking into your words.

• Dwayne’s brows shot up in surprise. He knew exactly where this “somewhere special” was, but he was caught off guard by the suddenness of it all, and the fact that Marko of all people was the one to call the shots.

• His gaze flickered over to said person, shooting him a questioning look.

• David seemed equally confused, almost choking on his cigarette smoke. “Tonight? You knew we were going to wait longer.” His tone sounded slightly more threatening than intended, but he didn’t care. David hated feeling undermined- even if it was from one of the men he loved.

• Marko’s head cocked to the side as he casually met David’s irritated gaze, completely unfazed. “Change of plan I guess. It was Max’s idea, not mine.” He paused momentarily, his brows furrowing slightly, “And those other two kids are starting to become a problem.”

• Had you been a little older, you might’ve realised that the ‘other two kids’ they spoke about were your half siblings, but instead you remained completely oblivious. Unaware of the tension hanging in the air.

• “You told Max?”

• “He already knew,” Paul answered with an unbothered shrug, failing to understand Dwayne and David’s concerns.

• David nodded slowly, not entirely surprised that Max had caught on. “So… we’ll take the kid back to the cave and then sort out our little problem.”

• “The kid? She has a name David,” Dwayne muttered, shooting him a pointed look.

• “Fine. We’ll take Y/n back to the cave.” He hesitated before continuing, “I’m assuming you’ll want her to ride with you?”

• “Well, I was the one who found her first. And Paul and Marko aren’t exactly the safest drivers.” Dwayne shot back defensively.

• “What the fuck man? We’re great drivers!” Paul retorted, nudging Marko, who stumbled slightly at the action.

• The shorter man steadied himself on Paul’s shoulder before nodding passionately in agreement. “Yeah- some might say we’re the best in Santa Carla!”

• David scoffed, “That’s debatable.”

• You were still stood at Dwayne’s side, waiting patiently for the four of them to finish their grown-up conversation.

• You hadn’t been listening very closely, but it seemed like they had finally come to an agreement on something.

• Dwayne squeezed your shoulder, grabbing your attention. “You’re gonna ride with me now Y/n, so you gotta hold on real tight.”

• You felt an uncomfortable twisting sensation in your stomach at his warning. It was probably just the nervousness that came with riding a motorcycle for the first time, but something about the situation felt off.

• “I can’t. Mama doesn’t like motorcycles- she says they’re dangerous.”

• He sighed, “Look sweetheart, I know you think your mum knows best, and that she’s some amazing parent who would do anything for you, but the reality is she’s not.”

• You frowned. Dwayne’s words hurt a lot more than he had intended them too.

• “But she loves me..” You protested timidly, confused by the pitying look he was giving you.

• “Then why isn’t she here looking after you?”

• The question caught you off guard. He had a point. Where was your mum? You hadn’t seen her since yesterday, and even then she hadn’t even spoken directly to you.

• Dwayne took your silence as an answer, cupping your cheeks in his hands and making sure your full attention was on him.

• “She doesn’t matter anymore Y/n. We’re your family now, and we won’t let anything happen to you.”

• “You promise?”

• “I swear Y/n, I won’t ever let anyone or anything hurt you. You’re safe with us- ok?”

• You nodded silently, finding comfort in his words.

• Dwayne smiled reassuringly before picking you up by the waist and placing you onto the back of his motorcycle.

• You watched as the four of them all mounted their rides, before revving their engines and racing down the path.

• It wasn’t a particularly long trip- especially with how fast the boys rode. The whole journey you clung to Dwayne’s waist like your life depended on it, eyes tightly shut and head curled into his back.

• Eventually the five of you stopped near the edge of a cliff. Dwayne twisted round and set you on the ground before dismounting and checking to see if you were ok.

• You nodded wearily, unable to fight the way your eyelids kept fluttering shut.

• “She won’t be able to make it down those steps if she’s practically falling asleep,” David said taking a step closer, “I’ll have to carry her.”

• Dwayne’s head shot up. “I can take her.”

• “You’ve had Y/n for the whole ride- I’m sure you’ll survive the short walk to the cave without her,” David remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

• Dwayne glared at the blonde but stepped back to allow him to pick you up.

• You didn’t resist when David lifted you up, it was a relief to not have to worry about standing up, or keeping your eyes open. Your small arms wrapped around his neck and your head came down to rest on his shoulder.

• You were asleep before he even started walking.

• The walk down to the cave entrance was spent in complete silence. They spoke to each other telepathically through the pack bond, discussing what they were going to do about your previous family and how they were going to get you settled into the pack.

• It wasn’t until they reached the cave entrance that anyone spoke.

• “So she’s sleeping in the room we prepared?” Paul asked from behind David.

• “Yeah that’s right.”

• You stirred at the sound of a voice, lazily lifting your head slightly to look at Paul and Marko behind you.

• They were oblivious to your sleepy gaze watching them from David’s shoulder as he carried you through the dimly lit cave.

• Not before long they eventually reached the ‘room’ that had been prepared for you.

• Being in a collapsed hotel, it was an unusual shape, with a ceiling that slanted down towards the far end before abruptly being cut off by the jagged roof of the cave. It wasn’t completely ready yet, so the only furniture was a queen sized bed and an unusually large bean bag in the corner.

• David carefully settled you down onto the bed, and you blinked up at him.

• “This is your room now baby. We’ll decorate it how you like later on, but right now you’ve got everything you need.” Dwayne said softly, crouching down to the side of the bed.

• “Where’s your bed?” You asked through a yawn.

• He smiled, “Not too far.”

• Paul took a step closer. “We’ll be down the hallway, Y/n.”

• Your eyes flickered back over to Dwayne, “Why can’t you just stay here? I don’t like the dark.”

• He gently brushed some of your hair out of your face, “We can stay if you want.”

• You nodded with a smile, and shuffled further into the middle to let him climb in next to you. Dwayne wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer protectively.

• The bed dipped to your left, and you turned over to see who it was.

• You were surprised to see that it was David rather than Marko or Paul, but you didn’t say anything. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep your eyes open, especially with the inviting darkness of your new room. As you were drifting off to sleep, you felt a hand gently rubbing your arm, and the soft murmur of David’s voice.

• “She’s finally ours now.”

Final notes- I do plan on writing more for this au. This was more of an introduction/explanation of how reader ended up being a part of the pack, and it wasn’t originally supposed to be written as an actual fic but I kind of got carried away.

I have some vague ideas for where I wanna take this but nothing is really set in stone at the moment. One thing I do know however is that it will definitely get darker as the reader gets older (sorry if you were hoping for smth fluffy). Updates might be slow so I apologise in advance 🙏

#the lost boys 1987 #tlb 1987 #the lost boys x reader #platonic #yandere #platonic yandere #poly!lost boys x reader #the lost boys x child!reader #Yandere lost boys

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 months ago

Text

What the fuck is a PBM?

TOMORROW (Sept 24), I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Terminal-stage capitalism owes its long senescence to its many defensive mechanisms, and it's only by defeating these that we can put it out of its misery. "The Shield of Boringness" is one of the necrocapitalist's most effective defenses, so it behooves us to attack it head-on.

The Shield of Boringness is Dana Claire's extremely useful term for anything so dull that you simply can't hold any conception of it in your mind for any length of time. In the finance sector, they call this "MEGO," which stands for "My Eyes Glaze Over," a term of art for financial arrangements made so performatively complex that only the most exquisitely melted brain-geniuses can hope to unravel their spaghetti logic. The rest of us are meant to simply heft those thick, dense prospectuses in two hands, shrug, and assume, "a pile of shit this big must have a pony under it."

MEGO and its Shield of Boringness are key to all of terminal-stage capitalism's stupidest scams. Cloaking obvious swindles in a lot of complex language and Byzantine payment schemes can make them seem respectable just long enough for the scammers to relieve you of all your inconvenient cash and assets, though, eventually, you're bound to notice that something is missing.

If you spent the years leading up to the Great Financial Crisis baffled by "CDOs," "synthetic CDOs," "ARMs" and other swindler nonsense, you experienced the Shield of Boringness. If you bet your house and/or your retirement savings on these things, you experienced MEGO. If, after the bubble popped, you finally came to understand that these "exotic financial instruments" were just scams, you experienced Stein's Law ("anything that can't go forever eventually stops"). If today you no longer remember what a CDO is, you are once again experiencing the Shield of Boringness.

As bad as 2008 was, it wasn't even close to the end of terminal stage capitalism. The market has soldiered on, with complex swindles like carbon offset trading, metaverse, cryptocurrency, financialized solar installation, and (of course) AI. In addition to these new swindles, we're still playing the hits, finding new ways to make the worst scams of the 2000s even worse.

That brings me to the American health industry, and the absurdly complex, ridiculously corrupt Pharmacy Benefit Managers (PBMs), a pathology that has only metastasized since 2008.

On at least 20 separate occasions, I have taken it upon myself to figure out how the PBM swindle works, and nevertheless, every time they come up, I have to go back and figure it out again, because PBMs have the most powerful Shield of Boringness out of the whole Monster Manual of terminal-stage capitalism's trash mobs.

PBMs are back in the news because the FTC is now suing the largest of these for their role in ripping off diabetics with sky-high insulin prices. This has kicked off a fresh round of "what the fuck is a PBM, anyway?" explainers of extremely variable quality. Unsurprisingly, the best of these comes from Matt Stoller:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/monopoly-round-up-lina-khan-pharma

Stoller starts by pointing out that Americans have a proud tradition of getting phucked by pharma companies. As far back as the 1950s, Tennessee Senator Estes Kefauver was holding hearings on the scams that pharma companies were using to ensure that Americans paid more for their pills than virtually anyone else in the world.

But since the 2010s, Americans have found themselves paying eye-popping, sky-high, ridiculous drug prices. Eli Lilly's Humolog insulin sold for $21 in 1999; by 2017, the price was $274 – a 1,200% increase! This isn't your grampa's price gouging!

Where do these absurd prices come from? The story starts in the 2000s, when the GW Bush administration encouraged health insurers to create "high deductible" plans, where patients were expected to pay out of pocket for receiving care, until they hit a multi-thousand-dollar threshold, and then their insurance would kick in. Along with "co-pays" and other junk fees, these deductibles were called "cost sharing," and they were sold as a way to prevent the "abuse" of the health care system.

The economists who crafted terminal-stage capitalism's intellectual rationalizations claimed the reason Americans paid so much more for health care than their socialized-medicine using cousins in the rest of the world had nothing to do with the fact that America treats health as a source of profits, while the rest of the world treats health as a human right.

No, the actual root of America's health industry's problems was the moral defects of Americans. Because insured Americans could just go see the doctor whenever they felt like it, they had no incentive to minimize their use of the system. Any time one of these unhinged hypochondriacs got a little sniffle, they could treat themselves to a doctor's visit, enjoying those waiting-room magazines and the pleasure of arranging a sick day with HR, without bearing any of the true costs:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/27/the-doctrine-of-moral-hazard/

"Cost sharing" was supposed to create "skin in the game" for every insured American, creating a little pain-point that stung you every time you thought about treating yourself to a luxurious doctor's visit. Now, these payments bit hardest on the poorest workers, because if you're making minimum wage, at $10 co-pay hurts a lot more than it does if you're making six figures. What's more, VPs and the C-suite were offered "gold-plated" plans with low/no deductibles or co-pays, because executives understand the value of a dollar in the way that mere working slobs can't ever hope to comprehend. They can be trusted to only use the doctor when it's truly warranted.

So now you have these high-deductible plans creeping into every workplace. Then along comes Obama and the Affordable Care Act, a compromise that maintains health care as a for-profit enterprise (still not a human right!) but seeks to create universal coverage by requiring every American to buy a plan, requiring insurers to offer plans to every American, and uses public money to subsidize the for-profit health industry to glue it together.

Predictably, the cheapest insurance offered on the Obamacare exchanges – and ultimately, by employers – had sky-high deductibles and co-pays. That way, insurers could pocket a fat public subsidy, offer an "insurance" plan that was cheap enough for even the most marginally employed people to afford, but still offer no coverage until their customers had spent thousands of dollars out-of-pocket in a given year.

That's the background: GWB created high-deductible plans, Obama supercharged them. Keep that in your mind as we go through the MEGO procedures of the PBM sector.

Your insurer has a list of drugs they'll cover, called the "formulary." The formulary also specifies how much the insurance company is willing to pay your pharmacist for these drugs. Creating the formulary and paying pharmacies for dispensing drugs is a lot of tedious work, and insurance outsources this to third parties, called – wait for it – Pharmacy Benefits Managers.

The prices in the formulary the PBM prepares for your insurance company are called the "list prices." These are meant to represent the "sticker price" of the drug, what a pharmacist would charge you if you wandered in off the street with no insurance, but somehow in possession of a valid prescription.

But, as Stoller writes, these "list prices" aren't actually ever charged to anyone. The list price is like the "full price" on the pricetags at a discount furniture place where everything is always "on sale" at 50% off – and whose semi-disposable sofas and balsa-wood dining room chairs are never actually sold at full price.

One theoretical advantage of a PBM is that it can get lower prices because it bargains for all the people in a given insurer's plan. If you're the pharma giant Sanofi and you want your Lantus insulin to be available to any of the people who must use OptumRX's formulary, you have to convince OptumRX to include you in that formulary.

OptumRX – like all PBMs – demands "rebates" from pharma companies if they want to be included in the formulary. On its face, this is similar to the practices of, say, NICE – the UK agency that bargains for medicine on behalf of the NHS, which also bargains with pharma companies for access to everyone in the UK and gets very good deals as a result.

But OptumRX doesn't bargain for a lower list price. They bargain for a bigger rebate. That means that the "price" is still very high, but OptumRX ends up paying a tiny fraction of it, thanks to that rebate. In the OptumRX formulary, Lantus insulin lists for $403. But Sanofi, who make Lantus, rebate $339 of that to OptumRX, leaving just $64 for Lantus.

Here's where the scam hits. Your insurer charges you a deductible based on the list price – $404 – not on the $64 that OptumRX actually pays for your insulin. If you're in a high-deductible plan and you haven't met your cap yet, you're going to pay $404 for your insulin, even though the actual price for it is $64.

Now, you'd think that your insurer would put a stop to this. They chose the PBM, the PBM is ripping off their customers, so it's their job to smack the PBM around and make it cut this shit out. So why would the insurers tolerate this nonsense?

Here's why: the PBMs are divisions of the big health insurance companies. Unitedhealth owns OptumRx; Aetna owns Caremark, and Cigna owns Expressscripts. So it's not the PBM that's ripping you off, it's your own insurance company. They're not just making you pay for drugs that you're supposedly covered for – they're pocketing the deductible you pay for those drugs.

Now, there's one more entity with power over the PBM that you'd hope would step in on your behalf: your boss. After all, your employer is the entity that actually chooses the insurer and negotiates with them on your behalf. Your boss is in the driver's seat; you're just along for the ride.

It would be pretty funny if the answer to this was that the health insurance company bought your employer, too, and so your boss, the PBM and the insurer were all the same guy, busily swapping hats, paying for a call center full of tormented drones who each have three phones on their desks: one labeled "insurer"; the second, "PBM" and the final one "HR."

But no, the insurers haven't bought out the company you work for (yet). Rather, they've bought off your boss – they're sharing kickbacks with your employer for all the deductibles and co-pays you're being suckered into paying. There's so much money (your money) sloshing around in the PBM scamoverse that anytime someone might get in the way of you being ripped off, they just get cut in for a share of the loot.

That is how the PBM scam works: they're fronts for health insurers who exploit the existence of high-deductible plans in order to get huge kickbacks from pharma makers, and massive fees from you. They split the loot with your boss, whose payout goes up when you get screwed harder.

But wait, there's more! After all, Big Pharma isn't some kind of easily pushed-around weakling. They're big. Why don't they push back against these massive rebates? Because they can afford to pay bribes and smaller companies making cheaper drugs can't. Whether it's a little biotech upstart with a cheaper molecule, or a generics maker who's producing drugs at a fraction of the list price, they just don't have the giant cash reserves it takes to buy their way into the PBMs' formularies. Doubtless, the Big Pharma companies would prefer to pay smaller kickbacks, but from Big Pharma's perspective, the optimum amount of bribes extracted by a PBM isn't zero – far from it. For Big Pharma, the optimal number is one cent higher than "the maximum amount of bribes that a smaller company can afford."

The purpose of a system is what it does. The PBM system makes sure that Americans only have access to the most expensive drugs, and that they pay the highest possible prices for them, and this enriches both insurance companies and employers, while protecting the Big Pharma cartel from upstarts.

Which is why the FTC is suing the PBMs for price-fixing. As Stoller points out, they're using their powers under Section 5 of the FTC Act here, which allows them to shut down "unfair methods of competition":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

The case will be adjudicated by an administrative law judge, in a process that's much faster than a federal court case. Once the FTC proves that the PBM scam is illegal when applied to insulin, they'll have a much easier time attacking the scam when it comes to every other drug (the insulin scam has just about run its course, with federally mandated $35 insulin coming online, just as a generation of post-insulin diabetes treatments hit the market).

Obviously the PBMs aren't taking this lying down. Cigna/Expressscripts has actually sued the FTC for libel over the market study it conducted, in which the agency described in pitiless, factual detail how Cigna was ripping us all off. The case is being fought by a low-level Reagan-era monster named Rick Rule, whom Stoller characterizes as a guy who "hangs around in bars and picks up lonely multi-national corporations" (!!).

The libel claim is a nonstarter, but it's still wild. It's like one of those movies where they want to show you how bad the cockroaches are, so there's a bit where the exterminator shows up and the roaches form a chorus line and do a kind of Busby Berkeley number:

https://www.46brooklyn.com/news/2024-09-20-the-carlton-report

So here we are: the FTC has set out to euthanize some rentiers, ridding the world of a layer of useless economic middlemen whose sole reason for existing is to make pharmaceuticals as expensive as possible, by colluding with the pharma cartel, the insurance cartel and your boss. This conspiracy exists in plain sight, hidden by the Shield of Boringness. If I've done my job, you now understand how this MEGO scam works – and if you forget all that ten minutes later (as is likely, given the nature of MEGO), that's OK: just remember that this thing is a giant fucking scam, and if you ever need to refresh yourself on the details, you can always re-read this post.

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/23/shield-of-boringness/#some-men-rob-you-with-a-fountain-pen

Image: Flying Logos (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Over_$1,000,000_dollars_in_USD_$100_bill_stacks.png

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

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premiumbitch · 4 days ago

Text

"are we sure she isn't a kitten in disguise?" things to script⭑.ᐟ

𝗣𝗛𝗬𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗔𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗖:

━☆ 𝗕𝗶𝗴, 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝘆𝗲𝘀 – Wide, expressive, and full of curiosity. Your eyes hold a playful sparkle, like you’re always up to something, but also an innocence that makes people want to protect you. Whether they’re deep and mysterious or light and dazzling, they have that hypnotic “kitten gaze.”

━☆ 𝗦𝗼𝗳𝘁, 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 – There’s something irresistibly soft about you, whether it’s your hair, skin, or just the way you move. People are drawn to your delicate features and how effortlessly charming you are.

━☆ 𝗣𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗟𝗶𝗽𝘀 & 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀 – Your lips naturally hold a pouty, soft quality, and your cheeks give off a warmth that makes people want to cup your face. Whether round or sharp, there’s a youthful charm to your expressions.

━☆ 𝗣𝗮𝘄-𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 – Small, delicate hands that somehow always seem to curl, like a kitten resting its paws. Your fingers naturally twitch or flex when you're thinking, and there’s something endearing about the way you touch things.

━☆ 𝗟𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵-𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝗮𝗶𝗿 – Whether it’s straight, wavy, or curly, your hair falls in a way that makes people want to play with it. Messy but cute, like you just woke up from a catnap.

𝗩𝗜𝗕𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬:

━☆ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 – You’re full of energy one moment, then completely indifferent the next. One second, you’re making someone laugh with your mischief, and the next, you’re curling up alone, lost in your own world.

━☆ 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 – You enjoy doing things on your own terms, but when you want affection, you make it known. You have a way of making people crave your attention while still keeping your freedom intact.

━☆ 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂 – Sometimes, you seem aloof and untouchable. Other times, you’re all warmth and sweetness. People are never quite sure what you’re thinking, which only makes them more drawn to you.

━☆ 𝗦𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸 – You notice things easily, pick up on subtle details, and have a sharp sense of humor. Even when you’re teasing someone, there’s a cleverness behind it.

━☆ 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 – Even when you try to hide it, your feelings slip through. Your eyes widen in surprise, your lips press into a pout when frustrated, your whole body reacts when you’re excited—it’s all too easy to tell when something has caught your interest.

𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 & 𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗠𝗦:

━☆ 𝗦𝗺𝗼𝗼𝘁𝗵, 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 – When wanted, you can move with a lightness, never too rushed, but always intentional. You have a way of appearing and disappearing before people realize it.

━☆ 𝗨𝗻𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 – You can go from curled up in a cozy spot, lost in thought, to suddenly bouncing with excitement over something small and silly. Your mood shifts keep people entertained and guessing.

━☆ 𝗧𝗶𝗻𝘆, 𝗦𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗚𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 – The way you tilt your head when confused, the way your nose scrunches when you smile, or how your fingers absentmindedly tap against things—every movement has a certain softness to it.

━☆ 𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗢𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝗲𝗿𝗺𝘀 – You don’t always seek out touch, but when you do, it’s unmistakable. You lean against people without warning, rest your chin on their shoulder, or playfully bump into them—it’s small but meaningful.

𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦 & 𝗔𝗧𝗠𝗢𝗦𝗣𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘:

𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀: ━☆ Fresh vanilla and soft florals—sweet, but not overpowering. ━☆ A cozy mix of warm milk, caramel, and honey, like something comforting. ━☆ A hint of powdery musk, like the scent of someone you want to be close to. ━☆ Soft cotton and light citrus, clean and refreshing.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝗻: ━☆ A cozy nook filled with soft pillows, perfect for curling up with a book. ━☆ A café on a rainy afternoon, where the world feels small and warm. ━☆ A sunlit windowsill, where you can nap and daydream undisturbed. ━☆ A late-night adventure, where you’re running through quiet streets just for the thrill of it.

𝗙𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗢𝗡 (𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦):

𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲: ━☆ Soft, oversized sweaters that make you look even smaller and cuter. ━☆ Flowy skirts, fluffy coats, and dainty details—clothes that feel nice to the touch. ━☆ Cozy socks, cute sneakers, or delicate ballet flats that make every step feel light. ━☆ Off-the-shoulder tops, cropped hoodies, and other pieces that subtly show skin in a teasing way.

𝗝𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗿𝘆 & 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: ━☆ Delicate gold or silver jewelry—tiny charms, dainty rings, or thin chains. ━☆ Soft scrunchies or ribbons in your hair, adding a playful touch. ━☆ Cat-eye sunglasses, giving you that mischievous, mysterious allure. ━☆ Subtle, sparkly pieces that catch the light, making you look even more enchanting.

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗦:

━☆ “They’re impossible to ignore—so cute but so unpredictable.” ━☆ “Talking to them feels like being caught in a playful game—you never know what they’ll do next.” ━☆ “They’re small and soft but have this clever, almost mischievous streak.” ━☆ “They don’t just exist in the world; they make you want to be in theirs.”

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b14augrana · 8 months ago

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The End Of The World

Alexia isn’t well post-breakup

Alexia Putellas x reader

masterlist

Warnings: angst, mutual breakup, yearning and heartbroken alexia, no happy ending

A/N: listen to the song for max effect! ‘right where you left me’ is another good one that fits this story. this is only a short fic, but i hope you enjoy :)

You and Alexia breaking up was for the best. She knows that.

Her career is demanding, and you just weren’t willing to pursue that lifestyle yet; it was glamorous, being the girlfriend of a professional footballer, but it also meant there were rarely any opportunities to spend quality time with her and that wasn’t the relationship you wanted. She understands that.

So why does it hurt worse than ending on bad terms? Actually, that’s a stupid question. Alexia knows why it hurts. If she had a reason to hate you, it would be easier to move on, but she cannot think of a single thing worth hating you for.

That’s what she hates the most — the lack of cruelty, toxicity, infidelity behind the breakup. There isn’t a single proper reason for her to stop yearning for you.

The first week after the breakup, she finds herself seeking out any signs of you wherever she could. It hurts, and she doesn’t have an excuse or a reason. She swore that your perfume lingered in the air, following her, taunting her. Whenever someone walks past, she notices; everyone smells like oranges, earth, and incense. Everyone smells like you.

On every street, there is something of yours. A mural you posed in front of for a photo, a flower bush you once pointed out on a walk because the budding flora stood out to you, a restaurant you introduced Alexia to without knowing it would quickly become her favourite. She sees apparitions of you in places that you would’ve been in right now, if you were still here. Still with her. Still part of her life.

Everything seems pointless and from the moment you declare the love story of her life to be over, Alexia thinks that everything should cease to exist. Why does the sun shine through the gaps in her curtains, when you aren’t laying beside her in the mornings to compliment it? Why does her heart continue to beat, when it cannot be listened to on sleepless nights, with your head on her chest?

Nobody works up the courage to ask her what’s wrong when she walks into the gym with dull under eyes and little to no energy in her movements. Alexia’s signature enthusiasm to be in the gym and improving herself is gone, and her teammates only look on with inconclusive questions as to why their captain is so… different. She watches them go on with their lives like nothing ever happened, and she’s so offended and bitter. They’re completely unaware that the end is here, at least for Alexia. The world has been at its inevitable end for longer than they know — the world ended when you stopped loving her.

Alexia isn’t one for letters, so it’s incredible that she finds herself sitting at her dining table, hunched over at an ungodly hour, scrawling words in her best handwriting onto a piece of paper.

She seals it in an envelope, running her thumb along the smooth surface for a second. She still knows your address by heart, and despite your house being much like a prison for her in terms of trying to avoid it at all costs, she finds herself navigating streets and turning corners to end up there.

Alexia passes a bookstore, and in the short moment she stands in front of it, she recalls standing in between aisles with you while you chose a book to buy. Clothing shops line the roads, and she can point out shirts in their windows that you own. A restaurant sits on the corner of the street, and she can point out the table you two had eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner at…

But she can point something else out — you.

You’re there, in the window, sitting at the table in the same seat you always chose. It makes her wonder if those memories were lost on you. Magazine in one hand, tea in the other. She knows it’s tea, because you hate coffee.

Alexia becomes acutely aware of the letter in her hand, and her plans have changed.

When a waitress comes up to your table with a little white envelope in hand, explaining that someone had just come into the restaurant and asked her to give it to you, you’re confused. When you unfold the letter and read it, whatever you’re feeling is inexplicable.

‘Mi querido,

I probably shouldn’t be calling you ‘mi querido’, or writing this letter in the first place, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t tell you how much I love you one more time. I cannot imagine a life where being happy and being without you are able to coexist. If I knew that my career would’ve been the end of us, I would’ve traded my first love for my forever love, in a heartbeat.

Sincerely yours…

Your head lifts and you crane to look out of the window. Streaks of blonde hair disappear down the street, further than you can see from your seat.

…Alexia.’

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aquaholicsanonymousworld · 27 days ago

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Paradise Unraveled Pairing: Saxon Ratliff x Reader

Summary: You, Saxon’s girlfriend, join his wealthy family on vacation at The White Lotus resort in Thailand. While the trip starts as a lavish getaway filled with luxury, there is an undercurrent of tension—especially with Saxon’s mother, who subtly tests your place in their world.

Author's note: Is it too soon for a Saxon fic? Saw the first ep last night and damn if Patrick Schwarzenegger isn't a damn good psycho already. (He will play Tom Brady when they make his biopic just calling it now). I hate Saxon's mother.

You’ve never been on vacation with Saxon’s family before. Sure, you’d met them—formal dinners, a few holidays, the occasional charity gala where his mother would comment on your dress in a way that felt both like a compliment and a critique. But this? A full week at a luxury resort, no escape in sight? It was uncharted territory.

The White Lotus in Thailand was stunning—palms swayed against an impossibly blue sky, the ocean stretched out like glass, and the resort staff greeted you with hands pressed together in a wai, murmuring greetings that you hoped you responded to correctly.

“This place is sick,” Saxon said beside you, his sunglasses sliding down his nose as he surveyed the pristine infinity pool. You reached over and pushed them back up playfully.

“Think we’ll survive this week?” you teased.

Saxon grinned, a little cocky, a little mischievous. “As long as you don’t let my mom get to you.”

That was easier said than done. His mother, Victoria, was the kind of woman who never had to raise her voice to make someone feel small. She wielded her wealth like an art form, and the idea of you—her son’s girlfriend, not yet engaged, not yet solidified in her social stratosphere—was something she still seemed to be assessing.

At dinner that first night, she watched you carefully over a glass of wine, asking polite but pointed questions. “So, what are your long-term goals?” “How do you see yourself fitting into Saxon’s world?”

Saxon, to his credit, squeezed your thigh under the table, a silent reassurance that he had your back. “Mom, she’s not applying for a job,” he said smoothly, cutting through the tension.

Still, you felt the weight of her gaze.

The days passed in a blur of boat trips, lavish meals, and spa treatments, but there was an undercurrent of tension you couldn’t quite place. The resort was beautiful, yes—but it had that strange, too-perfect quality, like something hiding in plain sight. The staff always seemed on edge, whispering when they thought guests weren’t listening. There was a story here, a history that no one was talking about.

And then there was Saxon. He was easygoing, charming, the life of the party. But there were moments, just flickers, where he seemed… different. A little too fixated on his reflection in the mirror. A little too eager to impress the other wealthy guests.

One night, you found yourself alone at the bar, watching the resort’s other guests mingle. That’s when you heard it—two employees speaking in hushed Thai. One of them glanced in Saxon’s direction, then at you. The only words you caught?

"He doesn’t know."

Doesn’t know what?

And just like that, the trip took a turn.

Because the next morning, Saxon was missing.

And you had a feeling that The White Lotus was about to reveal exactly why it was famous for more than just luxury vacations.

#the white lotus #white lotus #the white lotus season 3 #white lotus season 3 #patrick schwarzenegger #saxon ratliff #saxon ratliff x reader #saxon ratliff imagine #saxon ratliff fanfic

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uyuforu · 9 months ago

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Composite Observations II

It's been a while since I made some Composite posts! So I have decided to make some more. This one will be based on mine with my FS, I really like it not gonna lie haha. This post can also be taken as Davison or Progressed Composite observations! Also had some Sugar Sugar Rune pictures for this post and used to love this manga when I was young! Also funny thing but I realized Chocolat and Pierre (both main characters of the story) are the same sun signs as me and my FS ;-; One of the first manga I read and watched. I listened to the opening OST while writing this post lmao, i'm so nostalgic. This observation is only for romantic composite!!

All pictures are from Pinterest.