#one of these days I’ll really get the hang of digital art

[petchypeach]

Gotta hustle on over to that bustling marketplace.

[valeriehalla]

I don’t know what to do about the internet. It’s getting worse, and getting worse faster than I think any of us ever could have imagined even just six years ago. Tumblr shot itself in the heart at the behest of Apple, at the behest of whichever nameless evangelical finance perverts are in charge of credit card policy, whereupon people like me (artists and people who like art) fled in droves to Twitter, the present state of which I don’t have it in me to be funny about.

Even after that one-two punch, Twitter and Tumblr are still the only (major) social media platforms I can stand to use. I mean, they’re the last ones left where you can, for example, see posts that your friends have made. I might have said that that seemed like the whole point of social media; every digital elsewhere has now collectively agreed that it is, in fact, social media’s greatest flaw. Your friends like to hang out and post weird jokes and titty drawings — they don’t know the first thing about your favorite marketing trends, let alone your unslakable thirst for 30-second phone videos. We have to move on: I’ll die if I think about it.

Uh — I wanna let you in a little. Here’s where I’m at, okay? I’m working on this project. I like it a lot: it’s a writing thing and an art thing and a music thing all at the same time. I’m still struggling with art burnout, but every day I get to sit down and write or compose for this thing is an unending delight, so on the balance it’s been great to work on. It’s taken me a while to get here, though — I’ve blown past all my estimates about when it’d be done. Still, it won’t be much longer.

In the mean time, I keep having these compulsive worries. I feel that I should be posting, but the nature of a long-form project like this is that I don’t have anything to post. I tweet complete nothings now and then, as if to announce my presence, like a lighthouse pulsing in the distance. And every week the websites get worse. They’re bleeding out, and it feels like some of my blood’s in there, maybe. Like, maybe you’d call me naïve, but it wasn’t that long ago that I really, really liked all this online stuff. I never had the hustle culture mindset about it: by good luck alone I managed to make a living posting the stuff I wanted to post on the places I wanted to post it.

The places I liked to post don’t exist anymore. My experience of using the internet feels hostile, alien. The ground beneath all our feet feels eggshell-thin.

But I have to use the internet: it’s where my stuff goes. It’s where all of you are. Here is where art and artists and art-likers live.

The things I love live here, in precarity, as the saw blades and lava traps of our digital dungeon grow every day more numerous.

Anyway, what I’m saying is that the web sucks now, but as long as we’re here — and we will be here — I want to try loving it again anyway. I want to untangle myself from all this disappointment and expectation and try simply “vibing” again. I wanna use cohost more: I’ll even crosspost stuff to Tumblr like I keep saying I should. I’m making a cool thing and I should show it off! I should relearn how to draw a little doodle and post it without feeling like it’s a suboptimal use of my time or whatever!! I want to believe in what joy may find us, though our world be a dumpster.

[biconickyoshi]

Zuko and Aang as they appear in Book 2: Water of my slowburn Zukaang AU, The Avatar and the Fire Prince!

Overall Synopsis (for new readers):

In the year 96 AG, a freshly burned and banished 13-year-old Prince Zuko discovers a strange boy frozen in an iceberg. When Zhao interferes with Zuko's plans to deliver the Avatar to his father, Aang helps Zuko and Iroh escape. They take refuge in the abandoned Air Temples, Aang searching for any remnants of his people that he can find. Along the way, he teaches an indoctrinated Zuko about the true nature of the Air Nomads. Zuko must come to terms with the fact that everything he has been taught was a lie, while Iroh must acknowledge and face the sins of his past. Eventually, Aang and Zuko become close friends, and Zuko begins to feel things he has never felt for anyone before. However, Zhao will not give up easily, and will do whatever it takes to capture the Avatar and his traitor accomplices.

Book 2 Synopsis:

Zuko and Iroh have now officially denounced the Fire Nation and the Royal Family and are dedicating themselves to helping Aang fight against the forces of their homeland. After narrowly escaping Admiral Zhao at Crescent Island during the winter solstice of 96 AG, Aang, Zuko, and Iroh travel south in search of the Southern Water Tribe village Aang has been dreaming about. The village is in danger: the Southern Raiders are coming, and it will be up to our trio - with the help of a couple of Water Tribe siblings - to unite the remaining villages of the Southern Water Tribe so that they will stand a fighting chance.

I got an iPad for Xmas and I’ve spent the past couple days working on this! :) I’m super happy with how it turned out!

Zuko’s about 14 here - his hair length is how it looks about halfway through this Book. I’ll probably do another piece to show what he looks like at the end of the Book since his hair is a lot longer now with it being almost a year since he cut it in the AU’s timeline (we’re now approaching the Northern Water Tribe storyline). I’ve also never drawn weapons before… so I hope his broadswords don’t look too wonky 😅

Aang is about 13 here. He’s wearing a new outfit as well, which I thought made sense since this AU takes place over 3-4 years instead of less than one year like in the OG series. Aang’s gonna grow a lot over the course of this AU, so he can’t just keep wearing his Air Nomad trainee clothes indefinitely lol.

I plan to do a lot more pieces in the future as I get the hang of digital art, so I would like to draw more characters (like Iroh, Sokka, and Katara) and more looks for Aang and Zuko. I’m also really excited for Book 3, which will be Earth in my fic (Earth is my absolute favorite season of the OG show). Zuko’s hair will probably be long enough to pull back into a ponytail again at some point during that book… Though this time it will be a different style :) gotta do some brainstorming for that one!

I’m close to wrapping up the next chapter, in which our characters make a return to the Northern Air Temple! I haven’t had as much time to work on it recently just due to all the holiday stuff that’s been going on. It’s probably gonna be a shorter chapter as well (which I don’t mind, I hope y’all don’t either). But after that, we’ll finally be in the Northern Water Tribe! :)

[bitchsister]

can we maybe get curt cockwarming bucky,, but he’s just unable to sit still and is being all bratty about it since he wants to get off but bucky won’t let him 👀

This is not the one and only cockwarming ask I’ve gotten! And anon, while there is some gentle kinda cockwarming in this… there’s a lot more happening too…. Because like I’ve said before. I need a muzzle.

(I kinda just did whatever I wanted.)

Top punk baby princess Curtie in this.

Bye

This has been very sloppily edited. It’s pure smut and filth if there’s any weird errors just ignore them and love me for my flaws.

I blame @swifty-fox for a lot of what is in this. But also I blame myself for being the one to write it. 🫶🏼

Look at their beautiful art for our baby Punk Princess Curtie!!

Here’s their art tag. They spoil me daily 🩷

☣️THIS PARTICULAR DRABBLE IS LONG AS ALL FUCKIN HELL AND IS A MESS. ☣️

Because there was no specifications made, this is yet another addition to our Lucky Charms AU!

If you’re not LOCKED IN for THESE THINGS, do not read : Curt and Rosie arguments, injuries and mentions of blood, lowkey blood play, TOP CURTIS, bottom Bucky, Sub Bucky turned Dom real quick, crying, whining, spit, kinda cockwarming? I tried for the circumstances I swear, Daddy is used a few times . Oh. And Green Day.

I definitely have more cockwarming requests. So a cute and sleepy cockwarming drabble will probably happen eventually.

Bucky’s place wasn’t close to campus, but if Curt managed to catch a lift from Rosie or one of his girlfriends, then he’d manage to bribe them into dropping him off near the skate park which was only about a fifteen minute ride away from Bucky’s, if he was really putting his back into it.

He’d gone a week without seeing either of them, and while FaceTime was certainly one of the greatest modern inventions to exist, it didn’t do anyone justice — either the bar Curt was in was too loud, Bucky couldn’t figure out how to add Gale successfully to their call or Curt was balls deep in an essay about the Navier-Stokes Equations and Computational Fluid Dynamics while the other two had free time.

“I can’t go all the way to his place, Curt. I got work in like — fuck. Twenty minutes.” Rosie stared at his watch, gaze fluttering to land on Curt who stood in front of him, batting his lashes as he held his board at his hip.

“C’mon, Rosie. You’re arrangin’ bouquets all day, not protecting the government from cybersecurity attacks.” Curt stepped forward and tapped his nose. “At least not yet, Mister Digital Forensics.” His lashes fluttered again. “How ‘bout the park, then?”

When Rosie told Curt he’d gotten a job as part-time florist downtown, he’d laughed right in his face.

Ain’t no way!

Rosie stared straight at Curt, his lips tugged into a solemn line.

Wait — yo, forreal?

“I’ll — fuck — hey, Monday I’ll get you a coffee. How’s that, hm? For your troubles.” Curt made his voice sound sweet, stood before Rosie with his headphones around his neck, a loose tshirt hanging to his thighs, cutoffs revealing his scabby knees.

He blew an obnoxious bubble with his gum into Rosie’s contemplative face.

A heavy sigh escaped him, his shoulders sagging under the weight of resignation as he realized that continuing this argument with Curt would consume more time and energy than simply giving in. "Fine," Rosie conceded, his tone exhausted. "But you owe me a muffin, too.”

Curt flashed him a smirk once he’d plopped into the passenger seat of Rosie’s old Bronco where nothing but FM sports radio played through the muddied coaxial far older than them.

They chirped at each other for a little while about sports. None of which Curt knew a thing about besides what Bucky had told him. “Well, B says they got a good season ‘head of ‘em.” Curt popped a bubble between his teeth again, fingers fiddling with the too-loose trucks of his board to tighten them.

“You listen to everything he says?” Rosie shot a sidelong glance at Curtis, a brow risen. “It’s almost like you have no singular thoughts these days.” He continued, though he shouldn’t have. “Bucky this, Bucky that.”

The radio statics, but drones on.

That’s baseball for you folks. The Kawasaki kid has ice in his veins! One swing of the bat can change everything.

“I got plenty’a thoughts of my own.” Curt grit his teeth but forced his jaw to relax the moment he heard Gale in the back of his head, reminding him right away that his first reaction is rarely ever his best.

Relax, Curt. Take a deep breath. It’s nothing to get all bent out of shape about. Tell me a few things you can see. What do you taste? What do you smell? What can you touch?

Redbuds blooming in early spring, spent bubblegum, the leak in Rosie’s busted exhaust, the textured and worn down urethane of the wheels on his board.

“Hardly.” Rosie drummed his fingers over his steering wheel absentmindedly, reducing himself to the songs in his head since the radio in his car failed to work half the time. “You think he’s gonna keep you around when you’re graduated? Or, god forbid, you turn twenty-six and Ruthie doesn’t pay for your health insurance anymore? Officially too old for Attorney at Law, Bucky Egan.”

They hadn’t talked about Gale all that much besides the fact that he and Bucky often worked on case studies together and were usually working the same if not similar court dockets — a good friend who he certainly hadn’t dropped to his knees for.

“Fuck off with that.” Curt waved his hand at Rosie, his head shaking in disbelief and his expression one of grand theatrics. “Ain’t mine or nobody else’s fault you ain’t been laid in months. Maybe if you weren’t such a fuckin’ downer, man,” he pulled his shirt up to tighten the shoelace threaded through his belt loops. “You been on my back about it now for a while.”

“Well, all you do is talk about ‘em.”

“And, so what!?” Curt tapped his board a few times over the dashboard to taunt him and make a big, loud fuss. “You goddamn leech! You suck the fuckin’ life outta me, Robbie!” Curt was huffing through his nose, red in his cheeks and far from remembering the things he could see, taste, smell and touch. “You know Nora calls you Rosie Raincloud?” He was being venomous now, his fangs deep in Rosie’s flesh. “‘Cause you fuckin’ smother us with it, Robert. We hardly know what to say to you these days.”

Rosie had stomped his foot over the brake in one of the picturesque neighborhoods, nestled in a dreamy suburban wasteland, so different from the city.

His chin wobbled and his gaze denied Curt the satisfaction of seeing it reduced to a puddle — that hurt, but he could only really blame himself.

It wasn’t the first time he’d taken a swing at Curtis Biddick and got hit back twice as hard.

“You don’t gotta say nothin’.” Curt swung the passenger side door open and jumped out, his head sticking into the window for one last twist of the knife in Rosie’s chest. “Coffee shop ain’t even fuckin’ open on Mondays.”

Rosie peeled off, leaving Curt to hop on his board and kick his legs as hard and fast as he possibly could, his headphones tugged back over his ears and the volume turned up as loud as it could go.

City of the dead, at the end of another lost highway.

Signs misleading to nowhere

He tried his hardest not to think about how he had acted, and the things he had said to Rosie — in truth, Curt was better equipped to handle what Rosie had been saying to him since after all it was his own opinion, which he’d reserved the right to.

Curt didn’t need to scream at him the way he did, or bring up Rosie’s sudden knack for draping a wet blanket over every conversation.

It didn’t get them anywhere.

His mind drifted so far away and his chest heaved with ragged breaths as he kicked his legs to the beat of the drum line in the song he listened to.

Angry, sloppy, reckless.

He stopped to take out some energy on the railings of concrete neighborhood staircases, finding his inability to make it down all the way in a front side a new irritant to focus on instead of the guilt he felt for hurting Rosie before his shift at the flower shop.

Until sunset he occupied his mind — or, until his exhausted body had failed him for the last time and sent his face into concrete. “I hear ya.” He mumbled at the sky, assuming it was all karmic as he reached into the grass nearby to grab his phone which had flown out of his pocket the first time the railing swiped him right between his ass cheeks and straight to his tailbone.

His body ached, his screen was cracked, there was glass in his thumb.

He hardly announced his presence anymore, fucking up the gate code a few times due to the shakiness of his fingers and dropping his keys to his feet while he attempted to unlock the front door, a wild and unabashed string of cocksuckingmotherfuckingpiecesofshit falling from his lips once he’d kicked the door closed with the back of his heel, limping into the kitchen to nose around for a snack, although he had really expected Bucky to be on his second glass of wine by then, his iPad an inch from his face as he browsed the internet for a new dinner recipe.

“Hey,” Bucky called from the garden where he lounged in his tightest swimming shorts — the ones that showed off the thick muscle of his thighs and the curve of his toned hips. “Hey!” He’d been calling to Curtis from the open French doors that lead to the pool, the sun still too bright to realize Curt was bleeding from an unknown source on his face with his headphones still blaring music into his brutalized eardrums.

Where have all the bastards gone?

The underbelly stacks up ten high.

“Dammit, Curtis.” Bucky got up from where he was laying, riddled with irritation that Curt didn’t come squealing into his lap like he always did, attacking him like a sucker fish on any bit of skin he left visible.

His footsteps weren’t detected by Curt that peeled a string cheese layer by layer, half of his body reaching into the fridge to find something else to eat. “If you’re gonna use my money for things like this, at least give me the satisfaction of -“ he’d reached to pull Curt’s headphones away from his ears which had inadvertently caused Curt to whip around, bright blue eyes starkly contrasted by the flow of crimson that stained his lips and neck.

This wasn’t the first time, nor the last.

Still, Bucky let out a sigh as Curt continued to feed himself strings of cheese, blinking up at Bucky as if nothing had been out of place — though, even John would admit, this got easier each time.

“What was it this time?”

Curt sighed, his shoulders shrugging. “Don’t even remember.”

He was so lost in his own thoughts about his fight with Rosie that he could hardly recall what he had landed and what he hadn’t — he had no notes to give himself and nothing he could set his intentions to improve on later.

He threw his body around for four hours and got nothing out of it. And, not to mention, he may have lost a friend.

Bucky shoved his face in Curt’s neck once he’d pulled him nearer, so damp with sweat and radiating heat like the surface of the sun. So bright, so warm, so absolutely gorgeous. “Need to keep all your braincells the way they are.” He murmured, drawing in the scent of him while his lips pressed kisses to the salty heat on the soft flesh of his neck.

Curt still felt sore about what he’d done to Rosie but with Bucky in front of him like this, his hands groping his sides to pull him closer, it grew more and more difficult to think about anything else. “C’mon, m’fuckin’ filthy, Bucky.” He whispered, his voice barely there.

“Oh, I know.”

The sun continued to set beneath the hedges in the garden and the breeze that blew through the open doors had cooled him down enough, but Bucky had done very little to stop his sweating — his palms splayed over the softness of Curt’s hips, the small of his back, the curve of his neck. “You need me to kiss it all better, don’t you?” Bucky could taste the metallic sting dance over his tastebuds. “Need me to lick you clean, hm?”

Curt had still felt the hot sting of anger in his belly, the annoyance with himself for getting it all wrong, the frustration of having no control over what he said, his emotions, and how he reacted to them.

He pushed himself forward, chest to Bucky’s until he was backed into the center island, his skin stained down to the neck of his tshirt. “You’d like that, wouldn’t ya?” The blue of his iris had darkened like the deepest parts of the ocean — the most dangerous. “Can’t wait to have me down your throat, huh?”

Bucky could hardly suppress the expression coloring his features as a searing chill trickled over every inch of his body. “Fuck,” his palms flattened again over Curt’s sides and down to the curve of his ass where he grabbed two handfuls, pressing his body closer and closer. “Look at you.”

He looked fucked up on himself, mesmerized by his own power, his own influence — Bucky was the softest, warmest putty between his bloody fingers. “Been thinkin’,” Curt grabbed Bucky’s jaw, forcing his lips to part as his own grew inches away. “When you cut your finger. Made me think, ya know — it made your face get all screwed up, made you whine a little.”

Bucky had sliced his finger clean open on a new set of knives Gale got him for Christmas months ago, the blades still sharp as the day he brought them out of the box.

“Think you can make me whine?” Bucky’s voice had drawn itself deep into his chest, teased by Curt who leaned himself in as if he’d finally give Bucky what he wanted, a true taste of what he knew he was missing out on, just to pull away a flash him a grin with front teeth slicked with blood.

“I can do anything.” Curt chirped back.

He pressed his hand into Bucky’s chest again, the other cradling his jaw as he walked him backward and himself forward, a wall behind them eventually where Curt slotted his leg between Bucky’s thick thighs. “What’s the over under?”

Bucky liked to gamble with his work buddies on Saturdays.

Curt would sit by idly near a high stakes poker table or the screen where Bucky and his friends would bet on ponies and he’d drink boozy milkshakes and flirt with the cocktail waitresses he had no interest in for a couple complimentary vouchers for the buffet where he only used the soft serve machine or the gift shop where a collection of cute coffee mugs were sold, and he had his heart set on acquiring them all without spending a dime.

“Not a chance.” Bucky tilted his head back against the wall, his narrow gaze fixed on Curt who hooked his fingers over the waistband of Bucky’s swimming shorts. “I don’t make bets on thoroughbreds without a track record, baby.”

Curt had yet to reveal this particular side of himself.

Sure, he was tough.

He’d bust his lip, his ass or his nose and get back up giggling. He’d fall off and get right back on. He’d argue his side of the story, he’d stand firm in his beliefs.

But he’d never claimed to be dominant in the way he’s portraying now.

The fact that he could wasn’t so much a shock, it was that he chose right then to do it.

“Smart man.” Curt shoved his fingers into Bucky’s mouth, holding him still with his thumb curved beneath his jaw. “On your knees.” He hooked his fingers a little tighter and guided Bucky down to where he balanced on his haunches until his knees fell forward, forcing him to sit on his folded legs where Bucky stared up at him expectantly.

So fucking beautiful.

He already knew what to do, as he’d done it for Curt plenty — his cutoffs were shucked down to his ankles and kicked across the room, his bloody tshirt following suit. Bucky had a hard time figuring how he’d be the one whining instead of Curt until he felt the familiar sensation of tiny fingers threading through his thick brown waves, tugged a little tighter than ever before.

“Go on,” Curt whispered in a shallow breath, “Get me wet for you.”

Bucky could hardly believe his ears, the shock drawing him quickly to obey a Curtis who was typically mounting himself over Bucky right about now, spouting off about how Bucky’s cock is so big and how he can feel it in his tummy.

He worked his tongue over every curve and vein of Curt’s cock only for hips to be drawn closer to his face, his eyes brimming with a sudden surge of cock-teased tears, “Fuck,” Curt grumbled, the blood drying now over his still damp and glimmering skin. “Look so fuckin’ hot with a cock down your throat.”

Rather quickly the spot in Curt’s belly where he held his rage earlier was replaced by the butterfly feeling of having Bucky’s mouth on him — until, of course, Curt had coaxed him into position atop an expensive area rug in the living room, knelt between his thighs once he’d removed Bucky’s slutty swim shorts from his hips.

“Didn’t know how pretty ya’d look like this.” Curt took in the sight of a pink-cheeked Bucky, his thighs spread and his cock achingly hard, curved deliciously over the little trail of hair beneath his bellybutton.

He’d yet to let out a whine, but if he didn’t feel Curtis closer to him soon, he’d be waving a white flag as he went down with the ship. “Kiss me,” it came out in an almost bashful plea as his eyes scanned the lips before him, the dull dried blood brought to life again each time Curt licked his lips. “Please.”

“Ohh,” it was an almost taunting coo. “Got your manners, huh?” A dribble of spit slid past Curt’s parted lips and between Bucky’s spread thighs, his cock slicked gently past the hole that tensed at the sensation. “Relax for me.” Curt whispered, his hips grinding his length against Bucky’s which already twitched. “Show me how good you are.”

Bucky hardly knew if he was able to be good, but he’d try. “Please.” He whispered again, though he was careful not to allow his desperation to show. “Just fuckin’ kiss me.”

Curt rolled his eyes, spitting again but that time it was at Bucky’s chest, tinged pink from the blood still lingering on his tongue. “You don’t make the rules, John.” He basked again at the sight before him — glowing cheekbones, parted lips, hands reaching to spread the dampness Curt had spat onto him around his chest and into his own mouth.

“Not when I got you lookin’ like this.”

It seemed Bucky had leaned into it, his body still tense but his eyes soft as could be.

Curt rut his hips between his cheeks, a rumbled string of groans bubbling from his loins as his right hand milked a couple little pearls of precum from Bucky’s cock that throbbed beneath his grip. “Y’like this, don’t you?” He whispered softly, his usual playfulness still dripping over every word; sticky sweet.

“Yeah, baby.” Bucky gasped, still willing his gaze to focus on what was before him although he was hardly able to discern if it was real or not. “Gonna fuck me?” He felt another sting of anticipation dance over each notch of his spine.

Curt grinned deviously, little body slotted between Bucky’s thighs that could easily overpower him but wouldn’t dare. At least not yet. “Need to get you ready for me,” he reached forward, his fingers slid gently into Bucky’s mouth and over his soft, warm tongue.

It wasn’t long before Curt could hardly stave off his excitement, fingers gentle but prodding against Bucky’s hole that took a finger to the knuckle easier than he’d been expecting, a gasp following suit. “Fuck,” Bucky whispered, his hips instinctively twitching at the unfamiliar sensation. “Fuck — fuck, fuck,”

A second finger, a third.

Lube from a drawer in the coffee table slicked over Curt’s thick fingers as he worked them into Bucky whose brows furrowed, pillowy pink lips parted as gentle huffs escaped them.

“Talk to me, Daddy.” Curt whispered, knelt down between Bucky’s thighs like a predator sizing up its prey that just so happened to be twice the size of himself. “Do I make you feel good?” His fingers worked Bucky open while he pressed rough and starved kisses over his thighs that twitch every now and then.

“Yeah, baby.” Bucky sucked a breath between his teeth, his heart flipping in his chest once Curt’s fingers had found his prostate.

He held in a whine that crept up on him in the very back of his throat and Curtis could tell. “Such a good fuckin’ boy, Curtie. Fuck —“ Bucky threaded his fingers through Curt’s hair, chest heaving once his fingers found a rhythm.

Curt could hardly believe his eyes, falling in love again with a new version of Bucky he’d never met before — all soft hues of pink and deliciously tanned skin, lips glistening with spit and his gorgeous eyes half-hidden behind eyelids that fluttered. “You look so pretty like this.” He mouthed at Bucky’s balls and the base of his cock, pressing sweet kisses against his sensitive skin.

Bucky could hardly deny himself what he wanted anymore as he whispered a gentle plea, “Fuck me.”

Curt hummed between his legs, sitting up slowly to observe yet another angle once he’d carefully withdrew from Bucky altogether to line their hips up, his cock eventually replacing the fingers that gripped Bucky’s thighs instead to spread them wider. “Think you’re ready?” He leaned his chest over Bucky’s, chaste kisses pressed against his open mouth.

“Mhmmm.” Bucky mustered, their kisses hot and wet and sloppy — uncoordinated and needy. He’d never wanted anything more in his life than this. “Put that big cock to use for once.”

An interesting spot he was in to be making snide remarks, Curtis thought, and so he gave him exactly what he’d wanted.

He lined himself up nice and gentle before snapping his hips forward, pulling Bucky closer by his thighs once he’d abruptly buried himself within the tight, wet heat before him.

And there it was.

A long winded whine that started low and gentle had died out high-pitched and breathy right into Curtis’ mouth who continued to lick, kiss and nip at Bucky’s wet lips. “Oh, listen to you.” Curt drawled, allowing John to adjust before his hips had found a slow rhythm, watching as the man beneath him writhed.

“Gonna have you fuckin’ cryin’ for my cock all the time now, hm?”

Bucky choked back a whimper he couldn’t even pretend to hide, desperate and sweat slicked hands grasping onto Curt — anything to hold. “Feels s-so— fuck, baby - “ he could hardly form a coherent thought once Curt picked up his pace, hand hardly big enough to wrap around Bucky’s throat but he kept a tight grip, nonetheless.

Bucky still felt a little shy about this.

A little out of place.

Eventually, the unfamiliarity and pain had quickly tumbled and grew larger into an indescribable pleasure once Curt’s hips had little to hold back any longer, fucking into Bucky relentlessly who took it like he’d been meant to all along.

Uh-uh-uhs were forced out of him, his thighs spread wider and his eyes managing to focus again when he began to pant like he was reaching the finish line.

Curt was so far from done with him.

“Ah-ah,” he withdrew abruptly, watching Bucky writhe again and attempt to pull him back in. “I got you all worked up, don’t I?” His hands smoothed over Bucky’s damp curls, tugging gently. “Takin’ my cock so good, never knew you were such a fuckin’ —“

Bucky sucked in a deep breath and used his legs to flip Curtis onto his back, knocking the wind out of him.

“Think you’re tough now, huh?” He still looked like a fucked-out mess, his eyes half lidded and his heart pounding in his chest. “Had your cock in me and forgot how easy Daddy can have you gagging for him.”

Curt tried to push Bucky’s hands off of him, his cheeks still slathered in dried blood turning pink beneath the mess. “Had you close-“ his rebuttal was quickly snipped once Bucky had slicked his fingers in with lube and brought them between Curt’s cheeks, hooked into him and pulling him closer.

“Get the fuck off me.” Curt tried to put up a fight but his body had been betraying him as his thighs spread for Bucky, his feet lifted from the floor as he moaned at the roughness of it, a punishment it seemed for denying Bucky the pleasure he’d been so vulnerable to receive.

“Nobody takes it like my baby does,” Bucky basked in the familiarity and the tightness around his fingers that hammered into Curt until his thighs were shaking and the back of his knees dripped in sweat. “Isn’t that right?”

Big, fat tears had once again revived the dried blood that had smeared itself over his face by then, every moan that rattled out of him tumbling into a choked sob. “Fuck you.” He whined, his white flag waved with confidence as he went down with the ship Bucky had since abandoned and yet he still managed to put up a fight. “Mother fucker.”

“Oh, that’s not how good boys behave, Curtis.”

Fingers were replaced with Bucky’s cock, Curt’s features softening at the familiar sensation, the one thing he’d ask for on death row.

This is his truest Last Supper.

There was no movement by Bucky, though.

He buried his cock deep into Curtis, swearing to himself that when they were just like this, he could see the bulge of his cock in Curtis’ little belly. “You know what happens when you’re bad, don’t you?”

“I wasnt!” Curt barked, desperately trying to withdrawal from Bucky and snap his hips back again. “I wasn’t bad - I- I wasn’t-“ he was a mess of tears again, the emotions of the day crashing down on him in a heap. “You fuckin’ cocksuckin’—“

The exam he failed, his fight with Rosie, his busted face, and now this.

“Nah,” Bucky held Curt’s thighs to his chest, his cock staying right in its place, not an inch of movement. “Gonna stay just like this until you can show me how sorry you are.”

There, Bucky realized, was his place.

He had never minded being vulnerable with Curtis — in fact, vulnerability was his strong suit.

At first, he was the worst out of the two when it came to expressing his feelings, his thoughts and his emotions.

In the end it was only ever because of the judgement he feared of receiving for loving Curtis. Someone younger than himself, more reckless, with more life to live.

“I’m sorry,” Curt sniffled loudly, a puddle of old blood, tears and a runny nose that threatened to bleed again, the drip metallic and sour in the back of his throat. “I’m so sorry — I - I’ll never be bad again, I promise.”

They both knew a lie when they heard one.

“I’m so good for you.” Curt arched his back, anything for a little friction against his suddenly neglected and angry looking cock. “Look at me — I’m all yours, Bucky. Every part of me — I—“ he sobbed again, reaching down to touch himself but he was abruptly denied, his wrists held above his head. “Fuck me till I can’t fuckin’ breathe.”

Bucky felt sick for being so turned on.

A whimpering, whining, crying Curtis before him with a hot and hard cock that leaked beautifully against the little trail of hair below his bellybutton. “Oh, my pretty baby.” He cooed, reaching forward to wipe his crybaby tears away and granting him just a bit of movement when he did. “I couldn’t let you forget, honey — look what I’ve done to you.”

Curt tried again to surge forward and gain an upper hand, but it was disastrously useless.

Bucky was far stronger than he, even despite being fucked open just a moment ago. “Dunno what I’m gonna do with you.” He murmured, pulling away from Curtis at once and bringing him gently to his feet, holding him against the wall where Bucky felt he’d be doing his knees and Curt’s back a favor once he lifted him up off the ground and around his waist.

It was brutal after that, and for once Curt was unsure he could handle it. “Too much! T-too much,” he whimpered, but Bucky could hardly be bothered. “It’s too much — I can’t-“

If it was truly too much, Curt knew what he needed to say.

A safe word was set in stone the first time Curt had passed out and hit the floor, his brow split open.

All he cared about when he came to was finishing, though — even with an almost-crying Bucky and Gale in his face, worried beyond reason.

“Yes, you can, baby.” Bucky groaned, knowing full well Curt’s orgasm was dependent on the completion of his own.

Didn’t matter how much Curt was fucked.

If he wasn’t full of it, he just couldn’t get off.

A rather endearing blessing, but a curse just the same.

“I can’t Bucky, I can’t.” A wreck he was — and Bucky loved reducing him to such a state. Babbling, whining, his voice strained through the tears he choked on. “S’too much.”

Luckily, it was enough to sputter Bucky’s hips forward, hips rolling into Curt to milk his orgasm while Curt’s hole fluttered around his cock, his little body pulsing as he threw his head back against the wall where he thumped a few brain cells loose.

Bucky reached up to hold the back of his head, clicking his tongue. “There you go, honey,” he whispered gently to a Curtis whose body trembled through an earth shattering orgasm, “Let it all go, baby. Look at how much you’re givin’ me.”

Curt’s body was covered in sweat, blood, tears and now a splattered mess of his devotion to Bucky — hot and wet; sticky and so fucking sweet.

Bucky plopped them both onto the couch, Curt’s body wrapping around him and refusing to give his cock back despite it growing softer by the minute. “I love you.” He hiccuped into Bucky’s neck, the emotions flooding back to him once he’d been dumped right back into his reality — the one where he failed his test and more than likely lost a friend. “So much.”

“C’mon, Curt. Y’know I love you more than anything.” Bucky smoothed his hands over Curt’s damp curls, pulling his face away from the curve of his neck to look at him. “What’s goin’ on with you?”

He couldn’t talk about it now.

Just wanted to be here, in Bucky’s lap, the warmth of their love still burning inside him. “Later.” He whispered, sniffling loudly. “I’ll tell you later.”

[sharpbutsoft]

So I know you do digital art, but The Hanged fireMan looks like a watercolor. Do you work with watercolors as well, or is it the program you use?

(please brag about your art process, basically)

Yeah! So I do all my (fan)art in everyone’s favourite innuendo of an art program, Procreate. (Specifically on a 2019 ipad pro with a 1st gen Apple Pencil, both of which I would tentatively recommend if you can get them 2nd hand for less than 200euro like I did)

I did a lot of painting as a teenager, and still paint often to this day. Though I mostly worked in acrylics, I have been known to use watercolours (like, when I was in college I bought a little 3euro paint set and would use the inside of cardboard cereal boxes as diy watercolour paper and paint wild little Irish landscapes… and Winter Soldier fan art, sometimes. 2017 was a different world)

So in summary - I ‘paint’ digitally using some very traditional techniques I picked up over the years, and I kinda prefer digital art now, which I will elaborate on below the cut as I detail how I created The Hanged fireMan…

I’ll start with my favourite digital art ‘cheat’ which is that I use So Many Layers. Like seriously, pretty much every new colour goes on its own layer because I am a control freak and love being able to tweak them all as needed. So for this relatively simplistic piece, I’ve still got something like 20 layers all together.

I’m also usually better at grouping layers but in this one I gave up at some point and it felt dishonest to group them nicely before showing you guys lol

So yeah layers is my biggest hack, but the other is using specific texture brushes

I spent a while playing around with various brushes before finding this Tarraleah one which has just the most delicious watercolour-y texture and a really fun edge to it (and it’s got pressure sensitivity, so I can really control the amount of colour I want to put down on the page)

This background was painted entirely with the 1 brush & colour, and I think it turned out pretty cool. For this particular piece I did have a reference on screen to work off for the most part, but those clouded were just painted with my heart

Next (or maybe before, it’s a while sinceI drew this and sometimes I mix it up) is the lines, which are always done with my best friend, the Procreate Pencil!! I love her, she’s so fuzzy and textured and also if you tilt the tip on the pencil you get a broader line (like with a real pencil) which is just the coolest thing!

When it comes to lines I just sort of go for bigger shapes 1st and details later, and basically always with some kind of reference. I also use a very old & well known trick of putting the most detail into the object of most importance, and leaving the background more loose and vibey

Artists will tell you that this is to draw focus with details. Artists are lying. It’s cause we got lazy after drawing he fun part & phoned the rest of it in lol (I know this because I am an artist)

Also I love this pencil because I don’t have very steady hands and I actually cannot draw straight/smooth lines to save my life! If you’ve ever seen anything resembling a smooth line in something I’ve drawn, it is almost certainly a whole bunch of lines over each other and then erased at the edges to make it look neater

But who needs straight lines when sketchy sketch lines are so fun!

Next is flat colours (the 3layers in the middle with check marks beside them)

I used the same colours as the background, which you can tell from where they completely blend together right down the bottom, and what I genuinely do is use the Tarraleah brush to generally block out he shape, and then go back in with an eraser and smooth out the lines

Why do I do this? …good question

Next is one of my favourite parts, which is adding the lights! Procreate has some really fun -glowy- layer effects - my favourite is probably Add (A) though Colour Burn (CB) is great too for its vibrancy.

Also those 2 layer 11s are there because I duplicated one and then used the ‘Gaussian Blur’ feature to ‘fuzzify’ it (yes, that’s the technical term) It’s a pretty quick and easy way to add a more diffused light effect around something. (I did the same for the yellow reflective strips on the turnouts too!)

Last step now! So full disclosure - I absolutely traced that writing from a photo of a tarot card lol. I actually always trace writing, as, much like drawing straight lines, I’m bad at handwriting on a screen

I also stumbled upon the Exclusion (E) effect by accident - Originally it was going to be a plain cream boarder like a traditional tarot card had, but I wasn’t fully happy with it, so I just flipped through a few layer effects and as soon as I got to this one, I knew it was the right choice

I love the dreamy contrast of the pinks and purples to the dark navy and grey & how it makes everything looks kinda unreal and outer-spacey

And yeah that’s about it! Everything else comes from my 15+ years of Practical Art Knowledge but these are the specifics of how I utilise it digitally!

This was a lot of fun to write out, and I hope that if you’ve made it all the way here, it was fun to read too!

[junowritings]

Hey!! Hi!! Hello!! I noticed your matchups are open right now and I was wondering if I could get a BG3 matchup :]

I use any pronouns and have no gender preference!

I tend to be a bit introverted and like being alone but the second I’m around my friends I am the LIFE of the party and am usually the one to organize hangouts and parties among the group. Comedically enough though my friends typically compare me to Gale, usually calling me a recluse who “hasn’t seen the light of day in 3 years” lmao. I,,, may be autistic.

My hobbies primarily include art, whether that be digital, traditional, animation, 3D modeling or hell, playing guitar, ukulele or even the ocarina. I’ve also recently rediscovered my love for reading and learning languages (I’m currently learning Swedish lol). I also really enjoy traveling and will get out of town and occasionally out of the country whenever I get the chance. On a nice sunny day I’ve also been known to walk to the nearby park and just walk around barefoot cuz I like the feeling of Nature*tm*.

In a relationship I’m typically the person to initiate contact, usually bringing up date ideas and initiating physical affection and the like. I don’t mind PDA though I do generally prefer being affectionate in private. On that note, I am VERY AFFECTIONATE and once someone has accepted me hugging them it will be a WHILE till I let go lol. Besides the obvious physical touch I do show affection more often through sharing fun facts and the like :]

Likes: Physical affection, art, music, hanging out with my friends, chai, mochi, being in nature, anything steampunk and anything relating to pirates

Dislikes: bright lights, loud noises, extreme temperatures (though mostly hotter weather), people acting like they’re better than me

My strengths id say are primarily my creativity and initiative. Id also argue I have good planning and social skills.

My weaknesses primarily include my tendency to get overly focused on things and sometimes forget to take care of myself because of it ehe,,,

Thaaatt,,, should be all! Thanks <]

Heyya hi! :D You certainly can get a match-up! Been a hot second so I need to brush up on my BG3 knowledge, but I think I found a lovely fit for you...

Welcome to opposites attract. On this episode-

Whilst I’ll admit that at first you and Gale seemed like a potentially good fit, Rolan inevitably won out because I believe that you two would compliment one another really well and bring out the best in each other!

You keep to yourself initially, which Rolan is unsurprisingly respectful of; if there’s anyone you have to worry about needlessly bothering you when you’re not up for the interaction, it’s definitely not him. He understands that preferring to spend some time on your own isn’t a bad thing; he’s very much the kind of person to enjoy some alone time (though the chances he gets to actually do that are few and far between even after things have settled down lmao). Sometimes enjoying one’s own company is healthy and has its merits, allowing you to recharge after a long day.

The first time he sees you break from your shell though the contrast is rather stark. Rolan had already caught a few glimpses of the life bubbling under the surface of your otherwise introverted nature the more that you warmed up to him - but when he sees you in the company of your closest friends for the first time? He’s taken aback by the way you practically lighten up in their company. He’s heard others in your circle commencing that you’re the life of the party whenever you’re around, but the tiefling definitely didn’t anticipate that to be so literal watching you immerse yourself amongst friends with a renewed vigor.

The jokes your companions crack about your comparisons to a certain wizard of Waterdeep earn an eyeroll or two from the tiefling as he listens to them ribbing you over your occasional tendencies. He’s been on enough of your planned outings to know that’s hardly the case and will tell them as such, though it’s all in good fun thankfully - besides if you prefer to hole yourself away with your creature comforts, you’re always welcome to do so at the tower. Oftentimes the wizard will chime in on the usual banter to add that it’s a good thing you made an exception to that little reclusive streak of yours for him - it would have been quite the loss otherwise.

Your instruments always have a safe place in the tower, that’s assured from the moment you make any kind of mention about the instruments that you play. He says it’s because there’s few places as well protected as his home, so why not keep them there to practice if you ever come over to visit? In reality it’s all a not so hidden excuse just to hear you play. He’ll leave his office door open or linger on the main floor of the upper levels of the tower whenever he knows you’re about to start playing, acting as though it’s not completely obvious he’s actively listening. I personally think that Rolan would be quite partial to the ukulele, if only for how fluid the notes as you pluck at the strings. If you were to take a peek at the tiefling as you’re playing, you’ll find that he often stops what he's doing to bask in the melody for a little while, the slight tilt of his head towards the direction the music is coming from a dead giveaway that you’ve got his attention hook line and sinker. Speaking of the tower though, sorcerous sundries provides a wealth of entertainment for your rediscovered passion in reading. In truth most of the stock is ancient texts and magical tomes older than both of you combined, but whatever you find that peaks your interest is yours for the reading (once he’s ensured it’s safe and not somehow curse-laden - hells knows what’s in some of those things.) It’s the first sign that he’s actively vying for your affections - Rolan hopes to earn your approval through impressing you at every turn. So the moment you express a shred of interest in the books lining the shelves all around, he’s set. And perhaps he uses some of his new connections to quietly add a couple of actual reading materials to those shelves just for you, who knows~?

After the events of the main game, Rolan is rather stubborn about staying put in the tower and the gate in general. After everything that he and the other Teiflings went through just to get here, and honestly having experienced some of the worst things the outside world has to offer he’s set on sticking to the four walls of his new home, thank you very much. It can admittedly be a point of contention given his reluctance to explain how he’s feeling sometimes; coming off as downright stubborn until you learn that he’s not exactly opposed to the idea of traveling, it will just…take some time before that avenue opens up for discussion. Trips around the gate though are fair game for the early relationship. Rolan learns quickly to spot the signs that you’re plotting another day out - hears the hum as you mull them over and the way your mouth quirks when you’ve settled on an idea. Thankfully there’s some wonderful places in the city where the bustle of crowds and incessant noise struggles to reach, offering a respite for the both of you where he can enjoy the quiet of your company and you can get your fill of being out in nature.

You and Rolan are definitely on the same page about preferring affection in private. In the early stages of your relationship you may find that it takes a little while to warm up to your affectionate nature. He certainly doesn’t mind it - quite the opposite, as the guy is so blatantly wanton of any romantic gestures that you could very well reduce him to a mess in your hands if you wanted to. In the privacy of your own home you’ll find that the man is far more open with his own affection, tail curling around you as he slips into your arms. Please card your hands through his hair - even if you accidentally knock his horns a couple of times in the process you’ll be able to watch the stress evaporate from his body with each moment, sinking deeper and deeper into your embrace. Gods forbid you cuddle him lying or sitting down because once he’s truly relaxed in one place neither of you are going anywhere.

[stepswowdsen]

【KagePro】 Sen's .dsd/V Scans: Part 2

Sen's Scans and Edits

.dsd/V Sidu MV Material Works 2011 - 2018 (WHITE ver.)

Outer Science - Kuroha/Saeru

Yuukei Yesterday - Takane & Haruka (& Chibi Takane & Konoha)

Children Record & daze & days - Mekakushi Dan & Ene & Azami

Summertime Record - Haruka

Rambles

I tried scanning Outer Science, Yuukei Yesterday, Children Record & daze & days, and Summertime Record from Sidu's .dsd/V artbook.

I bought two copies of Sidu’s .dsd/V artbook, both the Black and White cover versions. I was scanning with .dsd/V (White Ver.)

I wanted to post my progress update!

Refer to this post if you wanna read my initial scans and rambles:

Link: (X)

I’m gonna disable reblogs on my WIP progress updates for now. I tried to scan and edit these as best as I could for now! I’ve been scanning the pages slowly in my free time. I posted LQ versions of my scans for now since I haven’t finalized these yet.

The artbook is bigger than my scanner, so I have to scan a page twice to try and get the full page.

I accidentally bent the the Outer Science page on Sidu’s .dsd/V (White Ver.) artbook after scanning the Yuukei Yesterday art cuz the book had to get scanned at a really awkward angle. The Summertime Record Haruka art is on the next page. The bend isn’t too noticeable or on anything significant, at least.

Thankfully, I have scans of the Outer Science page before it happened, though.

Thankfully, I have two copies of Sidu’s artbook, because I figured that just in case one gets damaged while getting scanned, I’d still have the other one. My .dsd/V (Black Ver.) artbook is still safe, but the Outer Science page in my .dsd/V (White Ver.) artbook got a bit bent while scanning. Thankfully the bend is not on anything important.

I try to be as careful with my artbooks as possible, but Ig it can’t be helped too much cuz of the awkward scanning, and me handling the book a lot. I had to prop up the book with boxes so that it’d rest on the scanner properly (depending on the pages being scanned)

I’ll continue to scan with my .dsd/V White Ver. artbook, since it doesn’t make sense to risk my safe copy. I’ll try to be as careful as I can, but I don’t have to worry as much since my other copy is still safe. I can rescan stuff when I’m finished if I need to.

Hopefully people don’t mind the other pages showing in the background? I did that this time instead of putting just 1 page down on the scanner because I felt like it’s easier to be more careful with the page and avoid bending it when it has the rest of the page’s weight underneath it. I can always rotate and crop the scan once everything is finalized.

Close up of my scans… I have some ideas on how to remove the print screen-like grainy texture on the scan, but I’ll need to look into it. My mutual in scanlation said he’s busy, but he can try and look into it sometime whenever he has free time. Hopefully I can get the hang of it sometime ^^

It’s really hard to get the parts where the book binding cuts off (middle of the scan) due to the book binding, since I can’t lay the book completely flat. Because of that, it casts a shadow, the parts closest to the book binding appears a bit blurry on the side closest to the book binding. This is the best I can get, since I’m a hobbyist scanner.

Imo the only way to get the full pages would be to remove the book binding (debind it) and safely retrieve the pages. My mutual in scanlation is experienced with physical scans because he has a method that can retrieve the pages safley by melting the book binding, but I’m not.

Even if I have two copies of Sidu’s artbook, I’d be really hesitant to risk damaging my book like that tbh, especially since I’m not experienced with working with physical scans. I can rip most things from digital scans/e-books, though.

Sidu’s .dsd/V artbook unfortunately isn’t available online, though.

I will try to stitch the scans through editing when everything is finalized, but it’s not gonna be 100% perfect because there’s a shadow over the part nearest to the book binding, and the scanner might not scan the colours the same, so it might not line up perfectly.

Anything related to 9/6, including XX/6, and all related charas/ships (Kuroha, Takane/Ene, Haruka, Konoha), I will scan first 🖤💛💙

Basically, I prioritized 9/6 first because of my bias LMAO.

Though, I will scan the other pages later!

Ones I’m planning to scan next:

Headphone Actor - Takane

Konoha's State of the World - Konoha (& Hibiya & Hiyori)

Additional Memory - Ayano

Losstime Memory - Shintaro

[violetvelourr]

How long I have been doing art

People occasionally ask me how long I’ve been drawing and that question gets me utterly confused 😅 um, probably since I remember myself?.. 😅

First of all, big reveal. I’m old. Much older than you probably ever guessed. Because I’ve been doing digital art since 2003, and I was not exactly a toddler at that point, he-he. Don’t ask me my age though – I’m still a lady and I consider it impolite 🤭 but that might actually answer the questions of many teenagers why I don’t particularly interact much 🙈

So anyways, now we have settled my “art career” span. But saying “I began doing digital art in 2003” – well… I don’t want to do that, because people will be like, “whoa, 20 years”?! And will freak out at such a prospect – 20 years to get to my level, which is, frankly speaking, far from professional. Not to mention that before digital art I also drew traditionally quite a bit.

But the main reason is because “doing digital art since 2003” does not equal “for 20 years”.

How about we revisit these years and look closer at my digital art journey? I can’t promise that I will recall everything 100% accurately, but I’ll do my best.

So around 2003-2004 I tried drawing in Photoshop for the first time. It was an image of a lion, and to be honest, to this day I’m hella proud of myself.

Yes, first attempt. Yes, I drew with a freaking mouse!

My second piece from the same year span is the “Dancer”. oh yes, the remakable hepatitis skin tone 🙈

To be honest, I don’t recall having a drawing tablet that long ago, I'm quite sure I got it only in 2008, but looking at it, despite its flaws, I can hardly believe I drew that using a mouse… I’m not sure, it’s a mystery. The Lion was definitely a mouse artwork.

From thereon I abandoned digital art for a while due to studying, then work, and finally online RPGs…

In 2008 I posted my first digital WIP after a 5 year break.

Oh my gosh... Remind me to never try realism again, clearly not my thing 🙈

I think I was trying to draw an avatar for myself, which doesn’t exactly justify drawing a woman aged probably around 40 🙈 I was not that old!! As far as I can see from my journal, that artwork crashed and only this snippet of it was what I had left. I think it’s for the good. I ended up commissioning the avatar from a proper artist, ha-ha…

Over the span of 2 months I posted 5 more digital art pieces, none of them ever completed actually 🙈 And yes, behold how ugly they are...

My ambitions were growing faster than my skills were improving. The piece with the couple with that naked girl is my special pain because I even attended a digital art course by an amazing artist I was really looking up to back then – Anry – to try and finish this piece, but I failed miserably. I was the only person in that course (5 day 12hr/day intense course) out of 15 people who came “just for fun” – the rest were pursuing a professional digital illustrator career.

This is what I left off with after that course.

In this collage you see on the left what I came with, the middle – what the teacher did after I explained my concept, and on the right – my attempt to take the piece to its final form. But I could never accept that the base was made for me and not by me...

It still grips my heart when I look at it because it was one of my greatest fails. I think that to die peacefully, I need to finish this artwork 😆 If anyone is curious about the story behind this artwork, I’ll post it separately.

Anyway, as I said, I didn’t reach my goal, was hugely disappointed in myself and dropped digital art in April 2008.

However, I came back 1.5 years later, in November 2009, when I got into anime 😂

I think that’s also when I first tried Paint Tool SAI. Up until March 2012, I uploaded roughly 20+/- digital artworks/WIPs. The quality was a bit inconsistent, but I was beginning to get the hang of it a bit, finally. Here are some of them (yeah, the span of the mood is extraordinary):

So, in 2.5 years – merely 20 artworks. Just to compare, in 2022 alone I made 75+ artworks, which doesn’t even include animations and stuff I considered to not be proper artworks.

So, my last artwork from that period was in March 2012 (the one with the winged dude blocking the way for the girl), after which I abandoned digital art again, for good this time. I actually thought - forever, to be honest.

I’m not sure what happened then. I guess I just lost my motivation, got over my fictional crushes, was depressed and not happy with myself…

Problem is that in reality, I don’t have any imagination at all. Part of the reason why I always suspected that despite being quite decent in drawing, I would never succeed as an artist, so I could only say that my dream was to draw for Disney. But I knew I never would. And I knew I can’t do original art. Fan arts – yes, subject to being highly inspired, a feeling similar to a crush. I was too dependent on the mood. But even so… my artworks never were particularly fancy or original, I admit it.

Part of the reason why I’m also so sensitive about AI now. I see people actually living my dream, and I'm so happy for them. Working as illustrators, having an income from what they create... And that is being stolen from them now. That’s why I will probably never accept AI.

Ugh, turned off the subject…

Anyway, as I said, I abandoned art in 2012 and only picked it back up in October 2021 because of Kakashi. 😆

If my math is correct, that’s a 9.5 year break. I have been going non-stop since October 2021, so I would say that my ongoing artistic journey lasts for almost 2 years now. The previous 2-year period with 20 artworks – I’m not really sure about the value of that. The previous 7 digital artworks – even more so.

If I had to sum up my entire digital art journey, – I would say it is around 5–6 years, but in reality probably won’t add up even to 3 years, because the 3 years adding up from a bit of 2003, a bit of 2008 and bits of 2009-2012 had me produce only around 30 artworks, a majority of which were never even completed.

My main progress happened between 2021 and now, so in the last 2 years. And to be honest, I understand that if I am to continue - this is only the beginning...

[jryoung2]

Being Punk

What do you call it when you enjoy aspects of different cultures, but want to blend? Solarpunk seems to be going through some political ideology shakeup, which is unfortunate, and that set me to think about what aspects I enjoy from each punk culture.

Steampunk - My first love.

Years ago, I fell in love with the mechanical nature of Steam, and the punk movement associated with it.  Being a mechanic, engineer, and gear head, I naturally involved myself in those aspects of the culture. I even explored some dress from the period.  However ludeness crept in, as it usually does.  I don’t care for scantly clad damsels with their various body parts hanging out of victorian lace. That’s a problem of the 21st century lens we view things through, not of the culture itself. I’ll stick to gears and turbines, you can have the boobies.

Dieselpunk - my true love

Art Deco, its design langue and use of streamline is a natural progression of technology, and drive for speed.  Luckily there is far more clothing in this culture, and while I understand it was born from war, it doesn’t necessarily have to live inside a tank.  Steam and internal combustion existed side by side for many years.  We all know what killed the steam car, but there’s nothing wrong with the aesthetic. 

Cyberpunk - my future love

Neon desperation is great. We currently live in that future dystopia, just less colorful. My generation, the ones that grew up with the advent of the internet, understand how to do tasks without the net, or devices. We can live without electricity, and can usually repair a good amount of found items to accomplish whatever task.  While we may not be as fast as the latest generation 12 year old, we can get there.  Boobies have returned, and there are far too many aspects of ludeness here that I just don’t enjoy.  So many different paths in this culture mix and blend to create that all too prevalent hi-tech, low-life atmosphere.  We are all poor.

Solarpunk - the unknown love

I want solarpunk to be something it may not ever become.  I want it to be what I am now. I want a steam boiler powered by solar generated electricity, managed by AI, and shaped in a beautiful steel and wood form inspired by Art Deco streamlining. I want to be able to control by steam devices from my phone. I want to be able to generate steam by using passive solar heating. I want my diesel backup generators to be able to run when world war III darkens the sky. And I want my steam boiler to run with the coal made from the ashes of the fallout. I want my digital devices to be able to make analogue content.. 

But here’s the thing.  I want a culture that understands I get up early and go to bed early. Cyberpunk really only works at night, for some reason. Solarpunk really only works during the day.  Steampunk has been manipulated into something far beyond what I would have thought, and dieselpunk’s are in perpetual war. Its difficult to find hope in any of that.  I want to be able to support people from all walks of life. Come to my farm: we have food, and 480v three phase. We have fuel, can repair your 1902 steam car, and replace the solar cell in your phone

So, what would you call it, blending these different cultures into something meaningful for at least one person.  Do you blend cultures, or are you firmly set in one genre? Would love you hear your thoughts.

[foxs0x]

Ask game!

🥦 Can you share an old piece of work next to a newer piece and say what you've learned?

I just love seeing how people’s styles develop over time.

Ok I had this question from a couple of people so I’ve held onto this until I drew something new!

I have a comparison from 2015 to now, plus one from 2019 to show how much my style has actually changed over the years!

2015

2015 I bought some comic markers but I couldn’t get the hang of them. It was around this time I was phasing out of only drawing manga and trying to find my own style. I remember being quite proud of this. I’ve since put a lot of focus on drawing portraits and now I’m working on anatomy.

2018

In 2018 I was learning to shade and add texture but I stuck to black and white. I was really inspired by Greek mythology and heavy metal album covers. It was also the same year I got an iPad and started trying to learn digital art.

2024

I’m still learning and growing every day. I’m trying to learn colouring and shading 😂

I struggle with bodies and anatomy and I struggle with clothes and costuming, but I’ll get there!

I’ve learned to loosen up my sketches. I have a habit of obsessing over minute details that only slows me down. Now, I SCRIBBLE! Then I build something out of that. Below is something I’m trying to to work on. I literally just grabbed a pen and sketched. I usually skip the pencilling because I find it freeing to just commit lines to paper and work from there without having the power to erase it.

Under that is Astarion, which is an example of how I’m trying to learn to use colour palettes and drawing costumes. My BIGGEST challenge at the moment is trying to keep a movement or flow in my drawings because they usually look pretty stiff.

[texas-chainsaw-fanworks]

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fanworks Event is going to last for one week in December (exact dates to come) where fans of TCM can come together to share their creations!

All kinds of works will be allowed! Fics of any length, art both digital and physical, moodboards, manips, edits, playlists and so on!

The only restrictions come down to content, and there aren’t many. I’m only asking that this event does not feature certain “dark” ships. These are things like adult x minor ships, family x family ships, or non-con ships. I will not curate that kind of thing on this blog because it is my preference.

Dark topics are allowed however, as long as everything is tagged properly! All that means is a simple tag warning about things like abuse, violence, or blood, etc. Victim x family ships are allowed as well of course, so long as it abides by the rules above! If you have any questions or would like to know if something is bending the rules, just shoot me a message! I will be happy to answer, through direct messages, the inbox, or the discord!

Speaking of, there is a discord server just for this event! I created it by myself so there may be some bugs, but I have a few channels already laid out with descriptions for what goes in them! I am very very easy going about discord servers though. Don’t worry about constantly messaging or following a format. Just have fun! The link will be at the bottom of this post!

Cause that’s my motto for the whole event! Have fun, and spread some love and creativity for our fandom!

When I say the fandom, this includes The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and it’s direct sequel, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Part Two (1986), as well as the new TCM game (2023) I genuinely apologize for limiting the films this event will explore, but I really don’t know the others that well, and so I would find it impossible to find, tag, and share content from those films.

That’s how the system will work. When a piece is finished and posted in December, use the hashtag #tcmfanevent and @ tag this blog so that I can find it! I will then reblog it according to which day or prompt and it correlates to!

Prompts will be loose! I have a list that I will post separately elaborating on them, so more details there will be coming out soon!

No sign ups required! If you’re interested but don’t want to dedicate, that’s totally fine! This is a low pressure, no obligation event just for fun. It’s okay if you can’t do it. The same goes for the amount of works. You don’t need to participate for the entire week. If you just want to plan one piece for that week, that’s fine too! The the dates mostly refer to the amount of time I’ll be taking submissions.

I am only one person, and I am disabled, so I will do my very best to answer all questions and run this smoothly, but I might make mistakes. Let’s just all be patient together and get ready to do something cool!!

[aajjks]

BC!JK

are your eyes believing what they’re seeing? THE jeon jungkook defending you against jongin all because he snapped your headphones. he even forces him to apologize to you and though you didn’t enjoy the brutal example jungkook made out of him, you were happy to see one of your tormentors apologizing to you feeling helpless.

you’re unsure why jungkook defended you and you’re hoping the bully club will leave alone but they still insist on making fun of you and giving you weird glances.

“don’t think just cause jungkook defended you means you’re safe from us” namjoon says as he shoves you into the lockers “he’s still the leader at the end of the day” yoongi follows up which means nothing will change.

they didn’t need to break it down for you anymore than that and maybe that will get people to believe that you and jungkook aren’t a thing because you’re sure those kinds of rumors are already brewing. your last two classes weren’t that bad but you ended up taking a lot more time than usual thanks to your least favorite class, chemistry.

you still haven’t seen danielle and you decide to head back home to get caught up with your homework and maybe start on your essay on production for your art class.

unexpectedly or maybe unfortunately, you hear a familiar voice calling out for you and once they get nearer, it’s jeon jungkook shoving his cell in your face demanding you give him your number. you remember politely declining an exchange in numbers but then you remember the cafeteria incident and yoongi’s words.

he still hates you and if you don’t hand him your number, he’ll hurt you like jongin or maybe worse. with a sigh, you put in your number and pray you don’t regret giving your bully your ACTUAL digits but of course you do.

by the time you arrive home and freshen up, jungkook is already ringing your cell phone and sending texts threatening you to pick up.

you really regret giving your worst enemy your phone number….

“yes jungkook?” you say in a bothered tone as you continue to finish your math homework that was starting to irritate you.

“listen…can you please delete my number? i appreciate you wanting me to help but there’s so many other people who are smarter than me. and-AND they’re actually attractive. you don’t want to work with an ugly loser like me. you should work with someone like soojin, danielle, or alina”

He’s in the comfort of his home and he feels awfully hot, the air conditioning doesn’t really help him out because he’s talking to you right now, so he does feel a little excited.

But what you say next has him clenching his jaw in anger. “shut the fuck up. They are dumb bitches and you are really smart.” of course, that is the truth. “And. Soo Jin is only good for fucking, Danielle your dear friend is way too grumpy for me to deal with, and who the fuck is alina?” He scoffs.

“I want to work with you, understand? You.” Jungkook makes sure to emphasize on you, “you are ugly but those women are plastic- at least you’re natural and smart.” he doesn’t want to sound too corny, but the truth is that… you are really beautiful.

You’ve got the perfect lips, the most gorgeous eyes, and the most adorable cheeks. And your nose is absolutely perfection, but his most favorite part about you is definitely your mouth.

Oh he loves it so much. “come on now, speak up little lamb.” it’s like he’s talking to his crush and maybe that is the truth… he feels so giddy. “Come on explain to me about whatever the fuck I missed on in the class.” He smirks. He hears you say over the other line, and you just give up and begin explaining.

Jungkook loves the way you talk it’s so soft and.. it’s just so you. “Ok ok I got it..” he interrupts you once again, because he’s really not interested in that. “Before I hang up, I want you to tell me if he gets you new headphones and if he doesn’t, just let me know.” He bites his lower lip, his gaze settling in his bruised knuckles.

“I’ll make sure that he learns another lesson.”

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey I followed you a bit ago (came for the gay cat comic, stayed for the nonbinary autistic dnd nerd energy bc same hat), it’s been cool getting to watch your art develop while you’re going through art school!

I can’t remember if you’ve ever posted about working in Blender, but I’ve just recently started learning how to use it and it’s my first foray into 3d modeling from exclusively 2d digital art and graphic design. I was wondering if you had any advice you’d be willing to share for a 3d newbie based on your own experiences learning to make 3d art? It’s been fun so far, but it feels like there’s so much to learn!

Aww!! This is really sweet, thank you!

Well, I guess the first thing I’ll say is I learned on Maya which I’ve heard it pretty different from Blender. I think the hardest part is really staying excited. There is SO much to learn and new technology can be frustrating. (For me I’ll usually cry over a program for a while before I really get the hang of it). I spent twelve hours one day learning all the wrong ways to unwrap a UV, but that time wasn’t wasted. It was frustrating, but I was learning how to do it a little better each time.

I highly recommend the efficacy of keeping a log- whether it’s for yourself or on social media- of the progress you make. Getting to look at the first 3D thing I made (that I really struggled with):

versus what I was able to make when I got my feet under me:

Is a pretty remarkable improvement, but if you’re only looking at the last thing you made you may not see how far you’ve come.

If you have the time just play around. Decide on a personal project and be wrong about a lot of stuff. Try to make a character you like or model some kind of vehicle you like, check out tutorials that get you excited to play with some new tool you haven’t messed with. You’ll be wrong about most of it but you’ll learn a whole lot about how not to do it and how to do it better next time.

Ultimately I’m not delving further into 3D modeling. I liked what I learned but I found my passion in a different aspect of tech art but I still love that I have the tools to make little personal things if I want to!

[a-student-out-of-time]

Days 118 - 121!

//Okay so I think I found what the problem was and now my fridge is working again…mostly. It’s fluctuating between temperatures but it’s not as bad as it used to be last week.

//In other good news, I finally settled on a design, personality, talent, and backstory for my fanganronpa protagonist!! I am also half-way with his older sister, who is also included in my roster. So, yeah, I’m really excited about that. ^^

//On the other hand, I suck at digital art, 😵‍💫 but I’ll try to draw something of either one or both of them in the future

//ALSO HIYOKO LOOKS SO CUTE IN HER NEW OUTFIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

//That’s all for now. Hope you’re doing well, Mod ^^

//That's good to hear ^^

//Hooray for development! And yeah, digital art is tricky, but you get the hang of it the more you do

//And she really does, doesn't she? ^^

//Thank you!

[coccyodynia]

things:

i went home the other weekend and didn’t steal any pills, as much as i thought about it, so thats kind of cool i guess

i got a very fun and cool tattoo yesterday, its a woman swinging an axe with that line i wrote a few years ago - “i swing and i dont miss”

i am seeing a The Plot In You tonight with justin

we’re planning on hanging out before the show too but the weather is gonna be shitty so who knows, he’ll probably flake out at this point

we’re also planning on going to chicago in a month but im concerned i wont be able to afford it idk. i just stashed away $250 for it but i wouldn’t be surprised if i had to dip into that before then

we’re on okay terms right now. its been a huge rollercoaster as usual but he still wants to keep me around in some type of way i guess bc he’ll respond or say shit like ‘i’m always here for you’

ive been dissociating a lot still but im practicing the skills to get a handle on it

ive officially stopped caring about anything at my job, i just dont give a fuck at all anymore

if i start caring again it will probably kill me, at least considering the rate we were going before 

i had a friend OD twice in the last week or so and im literally just bracing myself to lose another person to fent

its been almost a year without michael now and im still really heartbroken about

i can tell ive started letting my apartment/kitchen get bad again and it’s upsetting me but i feel paralyzed about it

one of my best friends is having a really tough time too and we keep messaging each other little check-ins even though neither of us have the capacity to really support or help the other person in any meaningful way

ive just been way too tapped out lately, and it has been affecting my health for quite awhile

my weight seems to be stable now or at least kinda, i lost 50 lbs and last week for the first time in awhile it didn’t go down when i got on the scale

my parents and grandma all made comments about how they can tell ive lost a lot of weight since i saw them last (6 weeks or so ago?)

my mom has been telling me “youre not eating enough calories” which i think gave me whiplash considering up until now my entire life shes been insistent that i eat too much

my financial situation is really about to get fucked up since im not teaching this summer, so i will lose that income for a few months ($800/month)

im pretty nervous they wont ask me back to teach in the fall bc the head of the department doesnt really like me

i got great evaluations from my students tho! at the end of the semester, two of my students asked if i would be comfortable with giving them a hug and i got emotional

i helped one of my students get into their first gallery show in NY and im just so fucking proud and excited for them

another student had made me a little embroidered camera patch for my bag 

im still very much thinking about applying to graduate/phd programs in the fall

there’s about 5 programs im interested in, but none of them are local so i’d have to move pretty far if i were accepted

im going to re-apply to university of denver for the MA emergent digital practices program

i applied to there in 2021 and was accepted but i wasn’t offered enough financial aid since i applied after the priority deadline so i’ll try it this fall and see what happens

im still dreaming about going to Brown for their digital writing/cross-disciplinary writing and art MFA but it's such a pipe dream

i also found a fascinating phd program at duke but they're not accepting applications this year?

i want to write and photograph more but by the end of the day i am so incredibly burnt out that it seems more like a chore than an outlet

i really wish there was a way for me to just quit my job and take some time off before going into another job

anyway therapy is back to once a week and sometimes 2x a week just depending on how well i handle things

my mom is still being the worst person ive ever met and im really trying to disconnect from her/the family as much as i can

she just spent $500 on a plane ticket so she can go spend a week with the guy she was engaged to in college

she sucks so much and i hate her 

anyway that’s all

[tcheschiredraws]

2023 Art Goals

I’ve been seeing a lot of artists I follow do a list of these, and I think it would be helpful to me to kind of outline what I’d like to accomplish this year. I started this blog (kind of) in 2020 during the pandemic, but didn’t really start using it until last year, and even then pretty inconsistently. Even so, I did make a lot of big improvements, and I figure focusing on specific areas ought to help me improve even more!

Learn gouache/watercolor - For my birthday last month, I bought myself some nice paints, and I think it might be nice to learn how to use them. A real loosey-goosey kind of goal, I’m thinking maybe do three paintings total of either medium.

Do more digital art - Another loosey-goosey goal, I’d like to do three more digital pieces where I attempt new techniques and work on the ones I kind of know but don’t have the hang of yet. I’ll probably do more of the Three Houses Nart AU for this one, since I have a couple of sketches already.

Complete Med’s 100 Heads - I’m taking this so slowly, but I’d still like to finish all 100 Heads by summer, and then potentially do the challenge again (or do the 50 Heads challenge) come autumn/winter with more of a speed mindset.

Get better at gesture drawings - This one’s tough. I dunno what it is yet, but some days I struggle with gesture and others I don’t. So I’d like to build up the muscle memory to get this basic foundational skill up to par.

Complete an October Challenge - I did pretty good last year, all things considered (real life really got in the way, and I got overwhelmed by having to learn a lot of skills all at the same time). This year I’d like to either complete a whole month, or take my progress from last October and double it (8 -> 16)

Complete another sketchbook - Considering the timeframe I completed my first sketchbook (Nov-Sept), I think this one is reasonable, even if Sketchbook #2 is about double the size and three times the page count.