#one of the most valid reasons for getting a spouse is if they will know how to finish the parts of video games that you get stuck on

[airandangels]

Just hit a confidence roadblock in Infinity Nikki - I was doing so well going through the Swordsmith Ruins, I met the glowing lady knight, Giroda got some magical validation, and now we have to go and fight Chigda the Wish Master who is less Weekend at Bernie'sed and more possessed (the corrupt fascist Paladin faction has been covering this up/grooming him to become their new god - these little floating smurfs are fucking deranged you know), and I look up a guide and it says he's the hardest boss in Infinity Nikki. Friends, you know me. I barely beat Bouldy. I was able to defeat the Caged Greed primarily because I am surprisingly decent at punching a giant baby bird in the brain. My skills have not significantly improved since then.

Apparently I'm going to have to dodge (suck at dodging), jump to avoid attacks coming through the floor (suck at timing and have been traumatised by this sort of thing from Arceus), and after scoring a hit that lowers his shields, quickly shrink down and ride Momo through the gap in his shield then presumably unshrink and aim and fire to hit him in the goolies before the shields come back. I constantly get confused between the shoot and jump buttons in mid-battle, so introducing a third one to deal with (and quickly) feels doomed. And I have to execute all this three times in a row without dying.

To all the people I read on the internet saying the combat in Infinity Nikki is so easy and basic it's a letdown, I would say HA and also No.

I mean, I'm going to try, I just really don't wanna. I'm afraid it will be hard and make me feel stupid and clumsy.

Is Giroda even going to help me? He just got a sword! He should at least distract Chigda or ping him sometimes like the Sages in Tears of the Kingdom!

[thetarotyapper]

you & your future partner/spouse's personality

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I II III

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⭑paid services⭑ ⭑18+ paid services⭑ ⭑tarot community⭑

(how to pick a card? observe the given images and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the image based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the pile you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)

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⊹₊⋆ pile I

⭑ your personality ⭑

pile 1, your energy is so fresh and so pure. you're someone who is always inspired and you're not afraid to get what you want. you're someone who is smart and finds solutions rather quickly. you like to take inspired action and you stand your ground. you're someone who believes in equal rights (and i'm also getting the energy here that you might be very masculine - regardless of your gender). you do not only stand up for yourself, you also stand up for others. you're a protector. you're strong headed and you might be very firm with regard to your opinions, and that's because you know you are right. and you are always right. you're mature and emotionally strong, literally no one can break you. you love teamwork and i see that you might like to socialize or you have a good number of trustworthy friends. people might come to you for advice and i see you guiding them. you're wise and filled with wisdom. you love structure and balance. you might like the colour red, and there's strong fire sign energy coming through. you're someone who thinks before they act. you're also someone who takes accountability for your actions and you value honesty.

⭑ your future partner/spouse personality ⭑

things have not been easy for your person. they've lived life the tough way and i see them carrying a lot of trauma and burden. they have the ability to leave their past behind, but for some reason i see that they're scared of the future as it is unknown. so, they're somewhat comfortable with their traumatic past because it is something they already know and are accustomed to. does that make sense? they're trying to let go of their past but it's them who is still holding on to it. i see that they're here for the long-term. it can be in areas of work, finances, family or romance. they're someone who is always thinking about expanding their name and gaining recognition. i feel like their parents might have neglected them when they were a child or their parents never listened to any of their interests, so they try to seek that validation from others. they're very social and they might like to party a lot. again, it's to gain validation because they lacked it when they were a kid. women might be easily attracted to them is what i'm seeing here. maybe they're very charismatic. they're enjoying or trying to enjoy the flow of life but i do see that their main concern is financial loss. they might also have some physical health issues. maybe they get tired or sick often because of overworking or it could be a genetic factor. something to do with the way they walk. they might have been through an accident. they also might have low self-confidence because of this or they're just insecure in general. but however, they're working their way through life and they're trying to enjoy the smallest moments.

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✦ . ⁺ pile II

⭑ your personality ⭑

before i could even shuffle the cards i got a feeling that you're someone who is very social or you might capture a lot of people's attention. you might be the “life of the party” in the friend group. people might feel drawn to your sunshine energy and the way you're always so bubbly. you're someone who is filled with strength and courage and you're also someone who is confident. you know yourself better than anyone and you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. you go gurllll!!!💅 you're literally a natural born leader and things literally flow to you. i see you achieving things without needing to put in too much hard work. you're someone who has good vision - either for the future or it might also be your eyes. you might have pretty eyes or your vision is really good. this also could mean that you can see through people and you know when someone is lying. you might be an earth sign, or have an earth sign in your placements. you have endless opportunities lying ahead of you, all you need to do is look in front of you. i see you're very protected by your angels. i'm getting a leo sign here. you're someone who radiates confidence and you're also independent. you know what you want and you go for it. very determined, very strong, very wild. however i do see that you've not been very lucky when it comes to love. you feel like you might not find anyone in this lifetime and you also might have this tendency to forgive and romanticise relationships that aren't even worth your time. you might be hooked on a past lover. you might also be someone who has unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships and you might also tend to get jealous very easily.

⭑ your future partner/spouse personality ⭑

your person is very nurturing and hopeful. they might be someone who believes in spirituality and might be into astrology or astrophysics. or they might even have a thing for space. maybe they like to study stars or things related to space. you get what i mean? they're someone who is very diplomatic and believes in balance. they're always ready to try new things and are always on the go. they might be someone who likes to plan spontaneous trips or just likes going out regularly (but not in a “partying” sense. more like going out in nature). i see that they're someone who likes to explore new possibilities and they're not afraid to dive into the unknown. a complete contrast from pile 1’s person. water sign energy coming through. they might tend to get disappointed easily but that's because they like to do things without thinking twice. they're also someone who is very forgiving. they might have been facing financial struggles but i see them overcoming this obstacle.

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٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile III

⭑ your personality ⭑

i see that you might have gone through some major transformation. you might've been a victim of stagnation and you might've felt like your efforts were going unnoticed and you knew that YOU were the one who had to change. and you did exactly that! you've changed your ways and you've been more active and you participate more in activities. i see you being inspired and also inspiring many. people feel comfortable around you and they might open up to you easily. you're very caring and giving. you love everyone and i don't see a single hint of hate in your heart. your heart is open for everyone. i also see that you're dictating your life in this routine or you might have expectations you would want to meet at a given time and i see you nearing your goal. you're someone who struggled in the past and now i see that you have made a map for yourself or a route for yourself and you're never going to leave this routine behind as you're seeing good results. you're also someone who knows how to regulate their emotions and not let their emotions take over them. you have a good way of getting away from the tension and you always seem composed. a romantic connection might also be coming your way!!

⭑ your future partner/spouse personality ⭑

okay so pile 3, your person seems like someone who might be young or might be a little emotionally immature. they're always acting before they think and even though a part of them knows that it's a bad idea, they still go ahead. they might be a victim of extreme peer pressure or they might have this longing to fit in. but regardless of this small flaw, i do see that they're someone who is very fulfilled and satisfied with their life. they're someone who is very grounded and humble and i see that they attract a lot of opportunities. i also see that they might have a shopping addiction and this might make sense when i mentioned that they always act before they think. they seem like someone who likes to go out a lot and loves to make new connections. they might be someone who is attractive or they're just confident and they might turn some heads towards them. they actually like the attention, i'm not gonna lie. they're like teenagers. that's literally the energy im getting here. they might also have a bird as their pet or might like pets in general. they know that things will go well for them and i also see that they're someone who becomes very focused when they want something. they're someone who likes to fight for what they want rather than getting things easily. i'm also getting the energy here that they might be from a well-off background and things come easily to them but they're someone who does not like to take the easy way out. they work hard for what they want. they're also someone who is straightforward and is not afraid to speak their mind. blue might be their favourite colour.

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hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

(note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

[sunderwight]

Honestly fascinated trying to figure out how both of Ambessa's kids ended up being diametrically opposed to her whole jock spartan might-makes-right mentality.

Tthe obvious answer, of course, is that Ambessa's husband (Kino's dad, and the guy Mel thought was her bio dad until recently) was way more of a diplomat and way less of a fighter, both philosophically as well as in terms of skill. And that he's the one who passed this on to the kids.

This fits well enough as an answer. The guy in the portrait certainly looks more like a talker than a fighter, and we know that Ambessa has a thing for pretty, submissive men thanks to her whole introduction in S1. Also, regardless of Mel's genetics this is presumably the man who raised her and is her father in the "nurture" sense of the equation, so it would be completely reasonable for her to take after him.

However, there are a few issues here.

One is the fact that even when Mel is talking to who she thinks is Kino about the possibility of one of them being a bastard, or of a bastard half-sibling existing, neither of them mention their father at all. While I doubt either of them would hold illusions about Ambessa remaining faithful to a spouse (for all we know the guy's still alive while she's off carousing with twinks), you would think that if both kids were close to their dad or took after him particularly, there'd be at least a passing mention of him in the midst of this discussion.

Maybe Mr. Medarda died a long time ago, though. Perhaps it's a topic so buried that it's an established habit to simply never mention it. Or maybe there is an issue of estrangement between him and his children for other reasons. He doesn't seem to have factored into Ambessa's decision to send Mel away, nor is his potential grief brought up around the subject of Kino. Despite confirmation of his existence, he seems (ironically) to be out of the picture, though it could also just be that the writers wanted to leave their options open for what he might be like in case another Arcane-adjacent series comes into production. I am fairly sure that Mel is the most likely character from Arcane to create continuity into a show about Noxus or Demacia or something, if we get another LoL series, especially since her story feels the most unfinished.

However, there's another possibility, which is that Mr. Medarda up there was such a nonentity in his kids lives that he doesn't come up because there's not much of a relationship to acknowledge. In which case, even if he is more of a diplomat (and he and Ambessa were a political marriage, presumably?) it'd be hard to credit him with influencing the kids so significantly.

One of the interesting things about Mel and Kino is that even though they are at odds with their mother on a lot of topics, topics that even seem to tie into prevailing Noxian cultural ideals (so, things they'd have been overall raised to believe in by the rest of their house and not just their mother too), they are also kind of astonishingly confident in expressing themselves?

So, somebody must have been supporting their alternative viewpoints and validating them as opinions worth expressing, even if they weren't things Ambessa approved of or actually wanted to foster in them as opinions/philosophies.

I think an interesting option is that it was Ambessa herself who did this, actually.

Ambessa's lore mentions that she figured out really early on that Kino did not share her temperament at all. Also, that she started searching about for ways of ensuring not only her house's domination, but the survival of her children specifically. Because the succession in a Noxian noble house doesn't seem to be guaranteed by birthright, which means that Kino and Mel would probably face rivals from their own family if they seemed too weak or vulnerable to lead, and someone else contested it. An easy way to remove a "weak" leader would also be to just kill them off. That's even apart from external rivals (like the ones who actually did kill Kino).

Which means that even if her kids had different values and priorities, Ambessa would probably have wanted them to still present those opinions with ferocity and confidence. If they cower to her, they will cower to others, and that's worse than them just not being aggressive combatants or warlord types. If you're gonna be a peacenik weirdo (by Ambessa's standards) in Noxus then you better damn well still be an assertive one.

I like this idea partly because the image of Ambessa trying to balance her kids having totally alien opinions about things like the value of life and importance of compassion, with trying not to actually beat down their spirits about it. Just spending a lot of their formative years being like, ugh, I have to listen to my nerd ass loser children tell me why they think mercy is a good idea. Such a fucking chore. Anyway great job presenting your arguments kids, lots to think about, let's go get ice cream. Then Mother has to fire one of your military tactics instructors for daring to call you a couple of wieners. Again. Even though she's right.

[irenespring]

So I rewatched the House episode about the autistic child wherein Wilson correctly diagnoses House as being on the spectrum and then seemingly goes back on it for no valid reason. The most likely reason for this is writer cowardice (they didn't want to have to deal with a canon autistic character), but allow me to present a conspiracy theory: Wilson is autistic.

He has only one friend, who is also on the spectrum, because that friend alone can see and appreciate the side of him he usually hides. He has the same random interests as this friend. He seems to be the only one to understand what his friend is trying to say. He gives House second chance after second chance because he knows what it is like to miscommunicate/tries to give benefit of the doubt.

Most of his social interactions are extremely surface level: he has a pleasant script he sticks to, either for flirting, talking to a patient, or just talking to any random nt person. He gets married to people he doesn't let past the mask both because he wants to conform to social standards. He does it again because he thinks he just messed up the script last time and this time he will get it right. He cheats because he doesn't instinctively link sex and intimacy--what he grasps as a standard mistake is actually a betrayal. This also might explain why his most intimate relationship is with House, the person he doesn't script around, even though they never have canon sex.

He wants to be needed because when he can help people he feels like he is doing socializing right. When someone no longer needs him, he panics, because he either has to stop scripting or increase scripting, and both scare him.

He is also extremely specific about his routines and preferences, and gets annoyed when they are disrupted. He is paralyzed by open-ended decisions: when he is turned loose in a furniture store, he can't make a single choice because there are so many.

Wilson is extremely invested in scripting, to the point where he flees relationships when it no longer works. He spends all day every day trying very hard to be the picture perfect doctor, spouse, friend, etc. So when House is dealing with sensory issues around the carpet, he helps by explaining to Cuddy something he alone of the other characters understands. But when he talks to House about it, he blows this understanding off. In his mind, he works so hard to be so nice, so therefore it is possible, even if damages him. He probably doesn't know it damages him to the extent it does. Therefore, he insists House's behavior isn't because he's autistic, but rather because he's just an ass. Because if autism is an excuse to not mask, he hasn't needed to mask this whole time.

Not saying I'm wholly invested in this theory, but *imitates House's voice* "it fits."

[nayatarot777]

Lilith in Scorpio/8th house

this is intuitive astrology. meaning that i’m making these notes based on what i intuitively pick up about this astrological point being merged with these signs. take it with a grain of salt and understand that you might not relate to everything that i get from your placement 🖤

Astrology Masterlist

scorpio/8th house themes are always surrounding the taboo areas of life: death + birth/rebirth, trauma, debt + taxes, other people’s assets that they give to you (like an inheritance, for example), conscious secrets and fears (not secrets and fears like what you find in pisces/12th house - you don’t realise exist. 8th house secrets and fears are those that you consciously know about but don’t talk about), intimacy, sexuality, shared resources, and power and control.

the first thing that i think of when i see this placement is people shaming you for your traumas. the people who literally get victim blamed for the ways that they’ve been abused, shamed, and oppressed.

you could’ve experienced shame towards the way that you grieve too. towards someone’s death or your own trauma. for some reason, people love to shame you out of purging very real and very valid emotions during the grieving process.

your lilith energy is potent in scorpio/8th house. since this sign and house is the area of taboos, people could literally treat you like you’re a taboo yourself. as if you’re a topic of conversation that shouldn’t be touched on.

this placement could make a lot of people fear you as taboos and the unknown are usually feared - therefore avoided.

^ that’s another point. you’ve probably experienced people avoiding you like the plague. simply because your energy seems ‘dangerous’ or scary in some way.

an obsession with the taboos of society - sex, death, murder - anything that you can think of that society would look at you like you’re crazy for freely talking about.

also indicates a lot of obsession with anything occult. occultism could be where you find your personal power. where you channel your rage from all of the times that you were scapegoated, oppressed, and abused. for example: someone who send dark and baneful magic to those who’ve fucked with them.

you guys have the most potent energy of a man-eater if you’re a woman. this isn’t like lilith in the 1st house/aries in which men will see you as their opponent to challenge. you’re literally seen by them as woman who are threats. threats that they can’t fight or dominate because they wouldn’t even know how to oppose you.

^ again, your feminine energy is one big taboo. and taboos are never ventured into. it’s like trying to fight the darkness. or a ghost. something that you know of but don’t understand and don’t want to. men could never.

if you find yourself suppressing this energy, then you’ll find yourself meeting people and falling victim to people (especially men) who are the worst human beings that you could imagine. murderous-type people. the people who could cause you serious harm. and these are usually men who you end up merging with heavily in relationships (as this is the sign/house of intimacy).

you could face a double dose of shame from yourself for the secrets that you know you carry. especially if they’re sexual secrets.

your sexuality could be very taboo too. i said this in the lilith in taurus/2nd house observations - lilith in scorpio/8th house is a placement that could indicate prostitution. actually having sex with clients in exchange for money, and not just using sex appeal or the image of sex to make money.

^ but random, but if you have lilith in gemini in the 8th house, or your lilith placement just has aspects to 3rd house planets/mercury, you could lead a double life that involves you selling sexual content online. and nobody knows about this.

this placement is also a placement that makes me think of people who marry rich people for the sake of gaining that inheritance money after their spouse dies. you know the young women who marry old men who are knocking at death’s door? yeah 😂

you find a lot of shame from others for your sexuality but a lot of power too. could be into power dynamics in your relationships/deep sexual relationships - like BDSM dynamics.

you have the power to manipulate people into giving you their money/possessions and assets through your sexuality. doesn’t even have to be through sex itself because your sexual energy is POTENT. you hold power over other people’s shit.

you could fear showing femininity in a way. just because you know that - considering the world we live in - femininity is not viewed as something powerful by men. and lilith in scorpio/8th house is all about holding onto power. therefore, you may keep your feminine side a secret to yourself.

could’ve experienced the most shame in long term relationships, after marriage, etc. after you gain a certain level of intimacy with someone, that person turns around and shames you.

and that’s why lilith here is a very prominent placement for experiencing extremely heavy-hitting betrayals. therefore gaining a huge fear of intimacy and being betrayed again.

your sexuality could be very dark. adding onto the sexual secrets, you could have secret kinks and fetishes that you feel like the average person would shame you and demonise you heavily for.

[traumasurvivors]

Here's an article I wrote to a question I am asked a lot. You can also read it below the read more.

Is something wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you if you love and/or miss your abuser. There are any number of reasons why you could be feeling this way, and I will share some examples with you. But please know this is not a comprehensive list and you are still valid if your reason isn’t listed, if there are multiple reasons, or if you don’t even know the reason.

Abusers are not always abusive. There are usually good moments with them. Thinking about the good times, it’s easy to wish there were more of those.

They may say they love you. Especially if you were a child when they started abusing you, you may believe if they love you, it’s terrible for you to not love them back. You may believe you have to love them, especially if they are family.

You may miss the idea of what they could add to your life, such as how great it could be to get love and care from a parent or have a supportive spouse backing us up. Even if the abuser stopped giving you love, care or support (or never gave much of those in the first place), the idea of receiving those from someone society says you should is a powerful one.

You may be going through something difficult, and think that your abuser would help you through it if they were there (or just wish they would). This might be because they have helped you through things in the past. It may be because you loved or still love them, and know you would help them, and like to think or hope they would do the same. It may also be that an abuser told you how weak, or stupid or helpless you were, and made you dependant on them. If things are tough, this may seem like confirmation that you need them - but that’s what your abuser wants you to think.

You may blame yourself for the abuse. This might be because you believe love is powerful enough to make them do better and stop abusing you, if your love was just “stronger,” or “purer,” or in some other way “better.” There are many movies and songs that talk about how wonderful and powerful love is. You may think if you just “didn’t do that thing,” the abuse wouldn’t happen. If an abuser wants to abuse, they will find an excuse.

The truth is that loving your abuser, whether you are still being abused or the abuse has stopped, happens to a lot of people. And missing them, after you’ve gotten them out of your life, is a normal thing.

These feelings do not mean something is “wrong with you” and do not mean you are saying the abuse was okay. They do not mean you “asked for” the abuse, or “enjoyed it.”

They may mean that you are going through the process of grieving. This might be about grieving the loss of what was good in your relationship with your abuser. Or the loss of what you wish that relationship could have been. It may be more about you, such as grieving the loss of who you might have become if you had not been abused.

It’s okay to love and/or miss your abuser. Feelings are complex, especially when dealing with family members, or people who have seen you through dark times or seen you at your most vulnerable. What is important is that these feelings do not invalidate the trauma you have suffered. They do not mean you have not been abused, or that your abuse is your fault, or that you wanted it to happen. Your abuser was wrong. And even if you love and miss them, what they did was not okay. And the only one to blame is them. You and your feelings are valid.

[sunkissedchld]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

dedicated to @nashikahan for suggesting the idea ❤️

relationships are important of course, no matter if it's a friendship or romantic or work-related or otherwise, but one of the greatest and most important types of love is the love we receive from ourselves.

i've said this before (a very long time ago), but in general, when most people are interested in tarot, they tend to ask about and lean towards content that speaks about the future (ex. future spouse, next 5 years, next career endeavor, etc), but i’ve realized that falling into that trap of future readings can be harmful if it’s all one ever thinks about.

thinking about the future is great of course, and it’s fun and sometimes comforting to think about the future and what successes and highs one might claim, but too much focus on the future makes it hard for one to focus on the present.

you can’t ever reach that future if you’re so wrapped in the fantasy of it that you forget to bring yourself to the present and work on whatever is needed in order to get there.

therefore, this PAC is not about the future. it's about the now. it's about what you need to hear right now in order to find comfort and love for yourself the way you need it.

the piles go from top left to right. so, "you are exactly where you are meant to be" is pile i, "be kind to your mind" is pile ii, and so on and so forth.

take the time to close your eyes, breathe, and meditate on the PAC prompt, then open your eyes and let your guides lead you to the pile for you.

i hope you enjoy and learn to love yourself the way you deserve to be loved 💖

(TW: slight s*icidal mention in pile vi)

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Rover and Benz" by Aint Afraid

"Blazed" by Ariana Grande

"Lose" by Wonho

Reading:

i think this is my creative pile :)

life is always moving and as hard as it is for you to be okay with it you always find a way to get on the right footing despite there seemingly not being a reason to.

are you a dancer? or at least, do you wanna be? if so, don't deny yourself that art form. i can tell you pour your heart and soul into it. i think it's where you tell the story of your pain. please, continue to use it to continue to be the strong person you are.

you're a fighter and a creative. i don't know a better combo than that to be honest. i don't think you hear this often enough, or you doubt people when you do hear it -- your art form is enough. as a matter of fact, it's more than enough. it's exactly what's needed for the Earth right now and for years to come.

the card i pulled literally says, "SHARE YOUR VOICE" in all caps like that and everything. your mind, your voice, your creativity, your dance, your art is valid. even if self-critique is necessary, also remember that you've come a long way from your very first piece to right now.

the other card i pulled says, "YOUR LIFE IS A CANVAS". continue to use it as such. continue to foster your art. it's beautiful. every ounce of love you put into it can be seen. it's so obvious that art (in whatever form) is of and in you.

love it.

especially your own.

love your own work.

(i promise that it's good enough).

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Donald Trump" by Mac Miller

"Run The World (Girls)" by Beyonce

"The Vapors" by Jhene Aiko

Reading:

know that you have a reason to be cocky!

i can tell that you're a hard-worker. every action you take is calculated and in an effort to reach the "promised land" of what you want. what you've always dreamed of. although recently (and maybe just in general) you may feel as if this uphill climb feels harder than ever.

the card i pulled says, "it's happening for you. not to you". i think those words may be of help to you right now. sometimes you may feel like God has put you up against these seemingly unwinable battles, but they are winnable. you're the one that can win them.

although you put in the work and action behind all of your wants, i think you mainly need to hear that you're not alone. you are being supported.

more than anything, i think you need to focus on healing yourself before going any further. specifically, go outside. breathe in the cold air and let it hurt your lungs. let the humidity frizz out your hair. listen to the waves as the crash violently or splash little by little.

i think you already know that you're strong, but also know that it's okay to rest.

it's necessary to rest.

please, allow yourself to do so.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Songs About You" by Chika

"Fool For You" by CeeLo Green

"Silent Cry" by Stray Kids

Reading:

there's a calling for you to do something, and you're avoiding it.

now babe.. you know better than to do that!

you feel like logic isn't aligning for you to be able to do it, or you doubt your own abilities, don't you? yeah.. you gotta stop doing that like immediately.

that dream or urge you have that feels so integral to your person and so primal to you in terms of needs is something you can totally achieve, but you have to believe in yourself. pay homage to yourself.

you are unique and honestly, your alignment is not of this world. that's why it feels as if the logic is off because they logic you've been conditioned to follow is not the one you should be following.

listen to yourself. listen to your body. trust that you will end up at the right ending because you're the one who knows how to best lead yourself. the cards i pulled say, "trust where you're led" and "surrender to the alchemy of life". i think that's important for you.

the most important thing i can say is that you control your destiny, and know that there's a path for you that so beautifully laid out, and you naturally lead yourself there.

you are worthy of your own trust.

you know exactly what you're doing -- even if it doesn't feel like it.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Sorry Not Sorry" by Bryson Tiller

"in my head" by Ariana Grande

"I'm The One" by Ateez

Reading:

you allow people to walk over you too much :(

is it because you don't think you're good enough? do you think you're not worthy of respect? YOU ARE!

maybe you don't fit society's standard of things. education, beauty, intelligence, material posessions? to be honest, it doesn't matter because you are so much more than that. who you are inside and who you try to be is so much more valuable than any of society's standards.

you don't have to take on everyone's burdens in order to be of use. you don't have to break your own boundaries and beat yourself down in order to receive basic respect.

your unique knowledge -- your unconventional knowledge- is so special to you! it's such a unique trait that gives you a different way of thinking and experiencing than others. use these differences to uplift yourself!

so what you're different? so what you don't blend in with everyone else? THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF BEING UNIQUE AND BEING DIFFERENT!

fitting society's standards isn't helpful to yourself or the collective.

embrace your differences. they are valuable.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕

Shufflemancy:

"Alone" by Ayanna

"Motivation" by Normani

"Do It Like A Dude" by Jessie J

Reading:

the people who chose this pile are changing! transtitions and transformations are in progress or on the way, and you feel unprepared for them. that's okay!

you keep holding on to old habits and old ways of thinking, but you need to trust yourself and the universe. the card i pulled literally says, "YES. just say yes". the other one says, "you go first. the universe will catch you".

your old ways of thinking and being don't work anymore because they're too mundane. your ability and your intrinsic nature is so much broader! so much bigger!

your personality and energy is so intoxicating to others. i wish you could see yourself through outsiders eyes. if you felt drawn to pile ii, then go ahead and read it. i think the message there also applies to you.

know that you are so much bigger than the little problems and intrusive thoughts that hold you back. for every pessimistic thought that goes through, write down a positive one.

also, learn to praise yourself. you deserve praise.

you are doing well.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈

Shufflemancy:

"Cuz I Love You" by Lizzo

"Without You" by Ledsi

"Practice" by Drake

"breathin" by Ariana Grande

Reading:

i think you're tired, just like the photo says.

you may feel like you don't wanna be here anymore. not even in a s*icidal way, but more so in a wanting to be away from your environment -- from Earth -- just for a little bit if it were possible.

the people who chose this pile a very likely starseeds. you miss home. you miss being around likeminded people, and more than anything you miss feeling as if you belonged.

you have so much love you want to give to others, but it's like people don't want it. like they follow the saying of "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it".

i think you may be tired of hearing this, but you are here for a reason. more than anything you just want the backpack of rocks that lies on your shoulder to be lightened -- even if just by one stone. you're tired of hearing that you're strong and that you can handle it because if you feel that backpack get loaded with one more stone, then you;ll explode.

you don't have to be strong all the time.

it's okay to cry.

please cry.

you are human too.

you have emotions too.

it's valid and okay to feel them.

[transmychem]

kicking off my first analysis…

the most “clearly trans” (or not?) song by mcr.

“Not That Kinda Girl”

this unfortunately quite literally involves gerard and how they seem themselves.

lets dive in..

“everybodys talking bout the way you left your man” not to be THAT person but… around the time this song was (most likely) wrote was when Gerard and Bert McCracken had a falling out… not to mention they literally held hands during the Under Pressure performance. so.. yeah “everybodys talking bout the way you held his hand”

now these could be interpreted as filler lyrics… however i would like to interpret it as Gerard figuratively drowning in the media’s portrayal of him and the expectations society has. kinda enough said..

ignoring the “borrowed” lyrics and the implications of that… jk.. there are a lot of implications of gerard borrowing lyrics from one of the first technically “feminist presenting” songs about a woman who is done with societies shit. sound familiar?…

“so say goodbye to all my friends” if im getting my facts right Gerard lost two good friend around this time… Frank and Bert… from my knowledge frank and gerard and well most of mcr for that matter were fighting and on the verge of quitting the band. and well i already mentioned what happened with Bert.

“i fell in love with her again” … this is obviously about Gerard and Lynz relationship.. a lot of people, even people close to him, did not want him marrying Lynz for countless reasons whether theyre valid or not. They got married around this time, and there was a lot of controversy because these things happen when youre a hot and famous rockstar especially a hot famous rockstar that kisses men… because the women want you the men want you and the gays want your representation. everyones gonna hate his spouse by default (not defending lynz (IDK anything about her)these are just facts…)

“everybodys talking bout the way you cur your hair” we know Gerard cut his hair and dyed it white for the black parade around this time. everyone was talking about it. obviously didnt give a flying fuck.

“everybodys talking bout the way you smoke that there” sensitive topic warning: … people were probably still talking about Gerards known cocaine addiction… and his path to sobriety and caring wayyy too much about what he does. they criticize him for smoking cigarettes bc ppl are insane and paranoid for some reason. i guess people are always hypercritical about celebrities especially if theyre a huge role model for vulnerable youth. Gerard has never cared too much about all that though. “i dont care at all”

now that we have established this song is clearly about Gerard, lets talk about a reoccurring line in this song

“cause im not that kind of girl”

this phrase has been kicked around for ages about women who sleep around or something. being “not that kinda girl” implies your “different from other girls” mostly in the sense that youre not a floozy or whatever… like lets not pin queens against eachother..

now why did Gerard use girl? he could have said “not that kinda guy/boy” but perhaps no one would get the reference unless they can read into the irony…

but i think Gerard likes the irony of using “girl” as a way to refer to themselves. because people have treated him and his relationship like hes just some “silly girl” or something. like they think Gerard is some kinda whore for kissing men and having gfs… the way society tends to view bisexual/queer people… (using bisexual bc theyve done things with guys and girls publicly and that makes you bisexual by societies standards..)

this song doesn’t necessarily have to do with being trans if you put it that way. Gerard is probably using “girl” to refer to themselves because of the irony.

but i’m gonna say this song is trans because why the fuck not.

thats just how i interpret it. it has trans vibes.

does not necessarily mean its about gerard, because gerard has made up so many characters for his music alone, why would this not be about just another character? the answer lies in the fact that all these things happened to him. hes talking about himself. isnt all singing, all lyrics, really about self awareness and self loathing or pondering of self? dont get me started… also the fact that all characters authors create are some fragment of themselves.. so yeah. referring to yourself as a girl (if you were born male) is just kinda trans…

now one last point after this conclusion. possibly a stretch. this song could be Gerard telling people they’re still queer even though they’re in a relationship with a woman. If this song is about Gerard being a girl then they’re saying they’re still queer for being in a relationship with another girl... tumblr dont FREAK. i said it was a stretch. (though it’s literally in the text…) but could just be like i said, just Gerard saying they’re still queer despite being in a “heterosexual passing” relationship and nothing else…

and this part i almost forgot… sorry for being all over the place i have adhd…. but this part kinda confirms my theory. “all your life i let you down”… is Gerard saying they let us down by letting society believe they are cis? idfk.

anyway. thats what makes me think this is the most off the bat transgender esque song.

transfems and lesbians this is YOUR song.

<3

[yunoteru4ever]

Hello there. Thank you for helping me clarify the situation regarding the validity of the information on fandom wiki. Your response has been most insightful, but I appear to have another question. According to the manga, Rea is going to temporarily take care of Reisuke because her dead colleague is also Reisuke's parent. The use of her to denote her colleague implies that she's Yayoi Houjou. Now, the crux of my ask is which use of the term colleague denotes Yayoi's profession. If it was used in the strict sense of the word, that would mean Yayoi herself would also be a programmer like Rea. However, if used informally to denote someone who works for the same company as you, but not necessarily the same profession as you, then Yayoi's job could range from a receptionist to a custodian of the company. My question is which is the most likely profession Yayoi would have based on these context clues?

I'm glad I could help with the previous ask!

Good catch on Resiuke being described as "her" (in reference to the colleague) child — because yes, that definitely implies Yayoi Houjou was Rea's co-worker/colleague.

The use of the word "colleague" makes it almost impossible to figure out Yayoi's exact profession, though. Someone being a colleague only means you share a work environment with them — or, by the strictest definition, that you at least work with them in your profession/job. So it could be also almost anyone in your office. A programmer doesn't really work directly with a custodian, sure, but almost any other position could theoretically fit.

...but that whole idea of them being co-workers at all is where it gets interesting to me.

Yayoi is denoted as having died during the Omakata cult incident — that's why someone needs to look after Reisuke in the first place. To be clear, the Omakata cult is clearly situated close enough to Sakurami City to be within a quick driving distance for Kurusu; they're described as being on the "outskirts" at one point. But Rea Amano works far enough away that she leaves Yuki home alone for weeks at a time, and he has to come pick her up from the airport when she comes back.

So if Rea is working/living most of her life a flight away, and Yayoi is living in/near Sakurami, how could Yayoi have been a "colleague" of Rea's?

Perhaps Rea is still casually calling her a "colleague" despite that being in the past tense. Maybe Yayoi was eventually forced to abandon her job; you could even tie that into the abuse we see her receiving from her spouse in Reisuke's flashbacks.

We don't know when Rea started working away from home, but it stands to reason that she wasn't always doing that. Surely she had to be living mostly in Sakurami at some point during Yuki's childhood! Maybe she changed employers since then, sure... but what if there's a local office for the same company, and Rea eventually got a promotion that called for her to relocate? In other words: Yayoi could be a Sakurami-area colleague working at a lower level within the same company, and their work relationship was as remote-work colleagues who were linked via e-mails, phone calls, and/or video conferences. Maybe there's a local administrative/finance office, but the actual game creation takes place elsewhere. There's also the possibility that Yayoi was simply an outside freelancer who was hired to work out of her home... which would probably make sense when you consider that she had a young child to care for.

Both are plausible, but I think #2 is the more logical conclusion because it doesn't require Rea to be using such a loose definition. In that case, however, you'd have to assume that Yayoi wasn't a programmer at the same level as Rea, because if she was, she'd have been working in the same office. Yayoi could be pictured to instead be someone who worked in a finance/admin office, or perhaps she was someone who created environmental assets for the game(s) or worked on music/sound design? It's pretty common these days for some of those latter jobs to be freelanced out or otherwise assigned to a lower-level employee than the primary programmers.

This is all a ton of conjecture, of course. But it's food for thought. I'm sure there are other fans with their own visions/theories of how the relationship worked.

[autistichalsin]

A fic writer's guide to leaving comments

I'm sure you've seen posts from fic writers expressing dismay at the death of feedback culture, and especially lamenting the phenomenon of people making private Discord servers to share fic recs, so that instead of having a chance to stumble on nice comments in the wild on Tumblr, Twitter, etc, fic writers are increasingly less likely to see good comments left about their work.

I also see the comments on those same posts flooded with people with concerns about commenting, so I am writing this as a guide for those new or unsure.

Firstly: some of you are probably asking, "why do fanfic writers need feedback at all? Shouldn't they be writing just for themselves?"

Well... No. Not really. People can and should create things for themself, yes, but that doesn't mean "continue to post content when no one seems to be engaging." Imagine cooking for someone who eats in utter silence and never says a single word about the meal. Imagine putting on a concert and receiving not a single applause, a cheer, nothing at all. It sounds utterly horrifying, doesn't it? Maybe even humiliating?

Writing for oneself means that positive reviews shouldn't be the sole factor in deciding whether to write/post/continue a story, not that a writer should feel obligated to write thousands of words for a story no one really reacts to in any way, especially when the writer sees creators of similar content (edits, fanarts, fanvids, fansongs, etc) get praised effusively for their work without this expectation being placed on them. It is very rare that artists are told they should draw for themselves the way fic writers are.

Further, and this may be a hot take, but I actually don't think it's inherently wrong to make positive reviews the main or even sole reason for writing or making art to begin with. People like being praised for things they do well. It's one of the most basic parts of human psychology. Human beings want to be praised, encouraged, validated, and celebrated sometimes; why do you think we celebrate birthdays? It's not egotistical. It might, perhaps, be setting oneself up for disappointment, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, anyway.

Basically, all that to say: it's nice to tip your Uber drivers and baristas. It's nice to thank/compliment your spouse when they make you dinner. And it's nice to thank fan artists and fanfic writers when they make arts/fics that you enjoy.

Moving on: I also know some of you have some specific things you worry or are confused about, and those things might be stopping you from leaving feedback. So here is an FAQ of sorts:

Q: What if the story has a lot of chapters/the author has written many stories? Won't it be weird to go and leave so many comments on them?

A: You definitely can review only the latest chapter/fic and future installments if you so choose, but for the record, fanfics aren't like Instagram/Facebook; mass-commenting and kudosing old stories and chapters isn't seen as stalkerish. It's seen as a sign you're enjoying the content we made. Think of it this way: if a new Star Wars came out, and you were new to Star Wars, it would only make sense for you to go and watch (and post about) the previous movies, right?

Q: What if I don't know what to say?

A: That's perfectly okay! I have a guide at the bottom of this post if you need some ideas. But honestly, writers would rather a single ♥️ than nothing at all, so if you really can't think of anything, that's a good last resort.

Q: I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting the writer.

A: There is almost no chance that you will say the wrong thing, unless you are giving unasked-for criticism (see below).

Q: What if I don't like the fic? Should I still comment?

A: No, it's definitely better to silently move on when you didn't enjoy it at all.

Note that while in the past, giving criticism was common practice, this has generally become less of something authors enjoy over time (perhaps tied in with the general lack of feedback; getting fewer comments in general can make it far more frustrating to get critical ones). If you are close to the writer, or if the criticism is just a SPAG issue, you can try asking the writer if they'd like to hear it, but otherwise, leave it be unless the author has indicated somewhere they're open to it. But please be nice. Anything you wouldn't say to an artist, don't do to a writer, please.

Q: In the past, I commented and the writer got mad at me.

A: If you weren't leaving unasked-for criticism, then likely the problem was that particular author. Don't let it deter you from commenting on others. Every group of people has assholes, including writers.

Q: I saw an author who requested no comments on their fic/turned off comments on their fic.

A: Not every writer ultimately DOES want comments, though the majority do. Likely that person was having anxiety, or had recently been harassed/received rude comments and didn't want to bother with it.

Q: An author limited comments to registered users only.

A: See above; likely they did this either as a harassment mitigation member or to prevent minors from reading their fics, especially if it was an NSFW work.

Q: I saw a note that a writer had "enabled comment moderation" on their story. Does that mean they don't want me to comment?

A: Not at all! It means they likely have been harassed/received rude comments, or have reason to fear they will (I.E. have recently posted a story dealing controversial themes, or have received such comments on other sites), and are activating a setting where you can comment, but they need to manually approve the comment before it shows up, which will prevent nasty comments from being read. In these cases, a nice comment might actually mean even more to them, because it shows they have support- so by all means, show them some extra love!

Q: Are there any cases where I shouldn't comment?

A: Yes, but these are mostly individual cases, not a hard rule. In addition to the circumstances listed above (author preference or leaving a negative comment), please do not comment if you are a minor and the fic is rated higher than teen (you shouldn't be reading these to begin with, but if you are, please don't make it obvious you did so), or conversely, if you write higher-than-teen-rated fics and the fic is written by a minor. Also, if the author has blocked you on other platforms, do not comment, as this is block evasion.

Q: Is it okay to comment just to ask for an update/to prompt another fic?

A: It depends largely on context, tone, etc. "I hope this updates soon" is 100% fine. Guilt trippy messages, like "it's been two years, I know you have been going through a lot but you have an obligation to your readers" are NEVER okay. Similarly, with prompts, saying "I hope you explore (thing) one day" is fine, especially if you know the author, but if your first comment to them ever is requesting a fic for a completely different scenario, ship, etc than they wrote, with little or nothing about the actual fic you're replying to, it will come across as rude.

Q: Is it okay to ask an author for permission to translate the fic into another language or make another derivative work?

A: Absolutely, but not every author will want this to be done, and you need to be prepared to respect their no if they give one. Think of it like asking a restaurant for one of their recipes. Some will happily give it out, others consider it a personal/guarded secret.

That said, do not even dare ask about feeding the work to an AI. Fanfic writers DO NOT want AI touching their work. Same for artists. Yes, this includes trying to make an ending for an abandoned fic. Do not do it.

Q: The author of this fic has held their story "hostage" by refusing to update until they get a certain number of reviews. What should I do?

A: This is a hard one. Of course, no one owes an author reviews, and this sort of thing is considered cringey, and endlessly mocked, for a reason. However, please try to do some perspective-taking and practicing empathy here. Authors are having to put out PSAs on this site and others just to try and get people to engage with their content. Imagine being a musician, getting on stage, performing song after song, and being met with silence, or maybe a single courtesy golf clap here or there. You'd start to doubt yourself, wouldn't you? You might feel inclined to stop playing unless you start getting an indication people actually care about your music, because performing to utter silence is absolutely humiliating. The manner of doing so is all wrong in this case, but try to show a bit of compassion, and imagine how awful, how utterly crushed the author must have been to do this in the first place.

It is definitely your right to not engage with the fic/author anymore, especially if you had been reviewing before the fic got taken 'hostage' and felt the author wasn't grateful for your comments. But if you wanted to be especially kind, you could take some time to try and lift the author up instead, and show them that even if others are not leaving comments, the fic ultimately does mean something to you. It just might be enough for the author to rethink their position.

Q: Why isn't a kudos enough?

A: It's not that a kudos isn't enough, per se: we all enjoy getting likes. But to continue my metaphor above, well... when you perform music, a cheer does feel very different than a courtesy golf clap, you know? You appreciate the golf claps, they are very kind and always welcome, but cheers, "YEAH!"s, and such are what you really live for. And a standing ovation? That could literally change your entire opinion on your art.

Q: I want to leave a comment, but I'm really scared/don't know how/don't know what to say.

A: That's totally okay. Below, I give some ideas of what to say, but keep in mind that if you really don't know what to say, emoji are totally fine! A ♥️ is still really great and will make us smile. Put some keysmashes! Put in just a ton of exclamation points and nothing else! "AHHH OMG!" Those are all perfectly fine!

BUT, if you want to leave something a little more in-depth, here are some great places to start! Trust me, fanfic writers LOVE all of these and would be delighted to get these comments.

ASK QUESTIONS! "Does this mean x?" or "I'm curious, when x said y, is that a sign that z is at play?"

Tell us how you felt while reading the story/chapter. If we made you cry in a particularly sad scene, PLEASE TELL US FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WE LOVE THAT!

If you are in a Discord or other space that's talking about the story, tell us what you/your mutuals/your friends are saying about it. This is a great idea for if you don't know what to say! Even just a "we never shut up about this fic in the Discord" is wonderful to hear.

Tell us what drew you in to the fic (did you like the summary? Was it recced somewhere?) and what made you stay.

Say something you found unique/intriguing about the fic. Maybe you liked the characterization, or the author did a really good job of setting the scene. Let them know!

Make a personal connection to the text, especially if the author wrote something that felt very real to your lived experience.

YELL IN ALL CAPS THAT YOU WANT TO HURT THE VILLAIN OR HUG THE SUFFERING WOOBIE OR SMACK THE MAIN PAIRING FOR BEING OBLIVIOUS ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!

If this story has changed something for you, tell us. If it changed how you see a character, made you ship a ship you never thought of before, changed how you see canon, opened your eyes to a societal issue, gave you a line you think about a lot- please tell us!

Indulgently play along with our cliffhangers. Pretend you don't know that the character will be fine. Pretend that we would actually do it and you're SO SCARED RN for this character.

Wanna know a secret? Wanna know a writer's catnip? Want to know an instant way to make a writer print out your comment for motivation to read later? Quote/paraphrase/reference a bit of text that you loved and tell us your exact thoughts and emotions on it, why you loved it, etc. Quote half the damn chapter back at us in the comments and we will probably propose marriage to you on the spot tbh.

Remember, if you truly can't think of anything to say, just a single emoji still does wonders!!

Hope this guide helps! Happy commenting!

[atopvisenyashill]

i agree with "I think the people who are the most down on this show are the ones who fell they’ve been robbed of something they were never promised." but it's me i'm down on the show and it's bc i wanted a full season of dragonstone polycule :(. i'm kidding i really like the show!!!! i just always imagine what could have been with a fleshed out harwin + laena and more build up jfkldsajfds

you're valid for that one but i wouldn't call that a "robbed of something they were never promised" that's just objectively a bad part of the show lmao - no reason we should have completely glossed over Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin and cut her relationship with Laena. For one thing, it's left a lot of people confused as to why Rhaenyra had three children with Harwin. For another, it's left a real vacuum when it comes to the characters and motivations of Jacaerys and Larys - I think s2 has done a lot to fill that vacuum but there's still this Harwin shaped hole that I think the audience doesn't really know how to care about because they never filled it with anything of substance. That goes under "too fucking short" and I think every Rhaewin should be allowed to take a baseball bat to the car of an hbo executive of their choosing for that one.

The Laena thing is also a "just because you have weird opinions about women doesn't mean the rest of us do you guys" thing, which I've also whinged about before. IMO it's bad enough to cut Laena out when she's so involved in the motivations and themes of Rhaenys being passed over and the eventual Driftmark succession as well as the clearly on purpose (argue with the wall) subtextual references to Rhaenyra's sexuality. I made the comparison to Brienne's "no one sings songs" of women who die in childbirth - and cutting a woman who doesn't get to do anything despite being primed to be a big power player because she dies birthing a son that also dies feels like missing the point to an extreme level already. But then racebending her AND cutting her part down to, essentially, how men and yt people feel about her, and cutting out her every relationship just for...what? So Daemyra can be super special soul mates, as if no one in the history of the world has ever been married twice and loved both their spouses? So Rhaenicent can be super special star crossed lovers, as if there's no way Rhaenyra wouldn't have moved on from a woman who has clearly rejected her? We're really saying they couldn't have gotten some mileage from Alicent being desperately jealous of the easy way Laena accepts affection from Rhaenyra? We're gonna racebend her, cut her part down, and then say "well she's not important anyway" yeah she's not important because they cut her part down!

adsjflks anyways i DO think there are good reasons to be down on the show. i also think some people throw hissy fits because they wanted this show to be something very different from what it is, and in fact, they wanted the dance itself to be about something very different from what it is. this has always been a story about misogyny, the blurring of political and personal violence, and the dangers of allowing anger to escalate your every move, however justified you feel. it's always been about the downfall of two families (targaryens & hightowers) who overreached for godhood and fell hard, and one family (velaryons) that didn't win the game of thrones but they sure fucking lived which is more than you can say for everyone else. people love to pretend like both f&b and hotd aren't about misogyny, violence, and justifications but like - that's the text babeee. justice for laena tho!

[flavoracle]

Retconning My Life

Last weekend my ex-spouse and I were able to sit down and have a conversation that was very difficult, but also very productive. Honestly, it’s way more progress towards healing than I ever thought would be possible with my ex.

Since my wife and my ex-spouse are very close friends, my wife was there for the conversation as well, and one of the first questions she asked my ex-spouse was, “How much of your relationship did you know that you were only attracted to women?”

“Oh, the whole time,” was their response.

“Did you know you weren’t attracted to Dave before you started dating?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

Now, the point of this post is NOT to criticize my ex or blame them for the pain I’ve experienced. There are a lot of pressures and reasons that keep different people in the closet, and I’m not here to judge them for it.

After all, I don’t know how it feels to spend fifteen years in a relationship where I felt like I had to stay in the closet.

At the same time, I sincerely hope that they will never know how it feels to spend fifteen years in a relationship with someone who doesn’t actually want you. Or to spend fifteen years in a relationship being lied to by the person you trust the most in the whole world.

For those of you that have followed my blog for a while, you might know that being a loving and supportive husband was a major part of my identity. It was something I thought I was really good at and I took a lot of personal pride in. (Though I tried to not be overly arrogant or obnoxious about it.) And one of the main reasons I was good at it is because the person I was looking to for feedback never told me how they actually felt about me or our relationship.

So now I’m trying to process this new information and from a narrative standpoint it’s like going back and retconning a major characteristic for the majority of my adult life up to this point. Because instead of being a guy who was actually good at making his spouse feel happy, supported, and loved, it turns I was actually a super oblivious guy who just THOUGHT he was good at those things, while actually infuriating his spouse by constantly focusing on the relationship and how to increase the love and affection within it.

If you’re reading this post and thinking, “I have no idea to respond to this,” then that is 100% fair and valid. Because honestly I have no idea what kind of response I’m hoping to get.

I guess during a time where my very reality feels so subjective and disjointed, there’s a kind of comfort sharing here on Tumblr where reality has ALWAYS been subjective and disjointed.

In a world that currently feels unreal, it’s kinda nice to come back to a place that has always felt a bit unreal.

[officialgleamstar]

Personal DnDads Pride Headcanons

some of these are simple but most are paragraphs long because of who I am as a person (incapable of saying things concisely), so they're going under a readmore. vaguely organized by age group.

one quick note: feel free to cheer on or rag on any of these that you please, variety in opinion is the spice of fandom life! everyone's headcanons are so real and valid to me, i am a strong believer in having as many contradicting fandom opinions as you want. for this list, i just went with everything that is "default" to my fan content. others' transfem sparrow is shaking hands with my gnc sparrow and yes, i'm listing that one on purpose, because if you make fun of transfem sparrow, you are getting hit by my bat. be fucking nice.

please enjoy!

Season 1 Dads and Spouses

Carol is a lesbian. This is simply canon to me. It’s important that this is first and visible to everyone.

Bi/pan polyamorous Henry and Mercedes is also simply canon to me. Honestly that one might be fully canon based on some of the things that happen in Odyssey

Henry is unlabeled but in the sense that he calls himself ‘queer’, ‘bisexual’, ‘gay’, or ‘pansexual’, fully depending on his mood and the conversation happening

Ron is also unlabeled but in the sense that he has never thought about it in his life and isn’t intending to now

Glenn is bisexual but never talks about it unless someone else mentions it first, and he tries really really hard to never think about his gender once in his life. The queer angst I give Glenn could be a whole post of its own but just know he has issues. He does fuck men though

Darryl still isn’t really sure on his sexuality and probably never will be, but he’s actually explored it a bit, so that’s better than whatever the fuck was going on with him before the show started. Henry likes giving him subtle bear pride flag accessories because Darryl actually wears them a lot. His favorite color is brown, after all.

Jodie, Nicky, and Taylor all are bisexual with a preference for women. Sexuality isn’t genetic but it is for them specifically.

Morgan is also bisexual. Literally none of the season 1 parents are straight except maybe Samantha and even with her, my opinion fully matters on the day and how I’m feeling.

Henry and Lark have definitely had an exchange at some point where Lark asked him how it was to ‘experience twink death’, to which Henry just went ‘get back to me in a few years on that, kid.’ and Lark spent the rest of the week furiously moping because clearly, he’s a twunk, Father- (words of a man who did not take care of himself well enough from the ages of 18-25 to ever be a twunk)

This is my little shipper brain but Jodie only realized he liked men after being stuffed into the Odyssey and being around Ron 24/7 for months on end (and the demon stuff, but he didn’t know that yet for obvious reasons). In his timeline, he had a whole arc about it and now he’s persistently attracted to strange men who don’t make sense as well as women light-years out of his league. He’s still a little miffed that Henry doesn’t remember the very long conversations they had about it, but him and Nicky get to wear matching bi pride bracelets now, so he guesses it’s fine.

Kiddads and Spouses

Lark is bisexual. He has known this since kindergarten when his parents explained what the flag all over their house was and has never thought about it since.

Lark also helped Rebecca realize she was bisexual because she would ask him about it in a class they shared in high school

This is utterly unrelated to LGBT headcanons but I think Veronica and Rebecca grew up in San Dimas with the kiddads, and were friends with them in high school. It just makes sense to me

Unlabeled Terry Junior is something that can be so personal to me. In a general sense, he likes everyone romantically, and identifies enough with the asexual spectrum to wear an ace ring, but he doesn’t really see the point in putting a name on it. He’s just Terry Junior and he’s happy with that.

Him, Lark, and Nicky did have a group chat called ‘bisexuals with an agenda’ in high school though, where they would make plans for pranking or otherwise harassing their fathers during group outings. Terry loves Ron but that does not mean he is above ruining his day. It’s done with affection.

My thoughts on Sparrow could be a full fanfiction but gonna try to keep it simple (retroactive edit: did not keep it simple). Sparrow is the token cishet of the kiddads, but in the queerest way possible. He’s an Oak-Garcia, of course he’s explored himself very thoroughly. At current, he identifies as gender non-confirming cis man, but he has had periods of his life where he transitioned and then detransitioned. In early high school, he identified as non-binary. From senior year up until just before Hero was born, he lived as a trans lesbian. He doesn’t see these periods as phases, just as his identity changing over time. Currently he’s perfectly happy identifying as a man, but wouldn’t be wholly shocked if he transitioned again. Calls himself “cis but gender is obviously, massively, a social construct and so it feels unfair to expect myself to fit into these boxes when identity can be so fluid and-”

Rebecca still calls him her wife, and also a granola lesbian or MILF from time to time because it makes him laugh, and while Nicky was still in his life, he would send Sparrow trans memes a lot. Sparrow also has always liked being seen as non-binary, he sees it as ‘winning at being androgynous’. Competitive to the sense of nonsensical Sparrow my beloved

Sparrow always wears women’s clothing but that’s for autistic reasons. They just fit nicer for his brain. It helps the gender(tm) thing though, he near exclusively wore hand-me-downs from Mercedes throughout all of high school

Sorry for talking so much about Sparrow. He’s my favorite character so he is the focus of many of my thoughts. Anyways

Never been a huge fan of the ‘Grant was outed by his crush in the Forgotten Realms’ headcanon, I think Grant came out about a year beforehand. Long enough where everything about it has settled but it’s still new enough that Darryl forgot for a split second and thought Grant might have a crush on Killa during the Four Knight arc. He’d known he liked boys a while before that, and also his parents kind of figured he was gay most of his life since he had 95% girl friends

Marco is pansexual! He met Grant in college because he worked the front desk of their dorm building and would always wear a bunch of pride pins

Nicky was Grant’s first good friend who was a boy, I like to think that they were childhood friends. Grant announced this to his dad at the age of 10 by going “Nick Close is transgender now, so that means you don’t have to worry about me only talking to girls because he’s a boy.” and Darryl went “…Alright?” and then googled what ‘transgender’ means

Speaking of, Nicky realized he was trans because of Mulan. Both Glenn and Jodie, in their respective timelines, googled ‘How do I know if my daughter is a lesbian’ before he came out because Nicky would rewatch the reflection song so often and also the tomboy-isms. Everyone felt very stupid for being surprised when he cut all of his hair off, cried, and asked to change his name

T4T Nicky and Cassandra is canon and they rubbed it into everyone's faces when they were together, Anthony is just afraid of the truth

Cassandra is trans het. I love trans het people more than anything and I love her so this makes sense to me.

Veronica is non-binary, in the sense of “girl but to the left”. They/she pronouns, calls themself a girlie and a mom but not a woman, dresses in a kickass pantsuit at formal events. I’m also in love with her

Season 2 Teens and Friends

Hero and Normal are both trans. When Hero came out, Sparrow sat Normal down to explain why Hero was now a sister instead of a brother and Normal responded with “Well, that’s not fair. How come Hero can be a girl but I can’t be a boy?!” and Sparrow just stared at him for a really long time before going “You can be a boy, honey.” and they went thrift shopping as a family for new clothes the next day

Normal is stealth trans, mostly because Hero is the same way and he copies her, but also because it doesn’t really occur to him that he passes. He just figures that people knows even though he is on testosterone and binds and presents masculine. It helps that his family presents pretty gender-neutral as a whole, so most people assume he had long hair as a kid because his parents are hippies. They had a son and daughter, both with long hair. They now have a daughter and a son, both with short hair. To the general populace, nothing has changed, they just misremembered which kid was older.

Taylor is a demi-boy and spends every year growing more and more feminine. Definitely calls their gender something like ‘boy with a dash of girl on the side’ with their friends. Growing out his hair was a newer thing and he regrets cutting it, even if it was a super cool sequence and he looked like an anime protagonist, because he liked how it framed his face.

Cassandra has always maintained an openness about her trans identity, so Taylor’s the same way. He’s always got the he/they pronoun pin on (I figure this is normalized by the time of season 2, but he’s just very pleased about it), he has a variety of trans and non-binary pride pins that he cycles through, and they like painting their nails because it’s an easy way for them to feel a little more feminine.

Cassandra’s living room is decorated with a massive trans pride flag and LED lights. The first time the teens walk into Taylor’s home, Scary says “it looks like a Twitch stream in here” at the same time that Normal says “it looks like my sister’s room in here” and they high-five while Taylor yells at them to be nice.

Hermie is genderfluid and uses any pronouns. This is real to me. He has my own teenage trait of gender shifting every three hours and never knowing what to do about it and he will be suffering with this until he exits puberty, at which point he gives up and just sees what gender other people choose for him.

Hermie is also pan/ace! No further thoughts here. She just is.

Erica just goes by queer because she doesn’t think the common passerby deserves to know her rich inner life and she’s right, they don’t

I tend to say a lot that all of the S2 kids are bisexual, and I represent them as such, but I truly believe that Lincoln and Normal both have no idea what’s going on with their sexualities. They say they’re bisexual for bisexual teen squad reasons but Normal is going through a constant crisis of “Am I gay or bisexual?” and Lincoln looks up the definition of aro/ace on a weekly basis. Neither of them will ever express this until Scary goes “maybe I’m not bisexual, actually.”

On that note, Scary is a lesbian but she’s not going to realize that until college. For now, she’s rocking with the bisexuality and pretends it’s not weird that her ‘crushes’ on boys feel wildly different than her crushes on girls. Yes I am projecting. This is not a secret. We project onto Scary here.

[kankuroplease]

hello! how would the uchiha brothers be as spouses?

You know I love Uchihas even when they irk me and I believe in the Uchiha deep love deal so 🥰

Disclaimer: I HC they’re all possessive lovers/Doberman bfs (tsk), it’s just a matter of the degree a lover can handle

Madara

Firstly, Finest of the founders era spouses and you can’t convince me otherwise

He’s mean, but he also means well. So they can’t be too mad, right?

Well they can but that’s not going to phase him much

He enjoys fighting and is rather intelligent, so it wouldn’t be in their best interest to pick a fight if they can’t actually debate him with proper arguments and valid points

BUT if they’re he is spouse, they’ve clearly have earned his trust and respect in some regard

So he will at least listen to them. Even if he doesn’t agree, he’ll take it into consideration probably won’t tell you that tho cause again, meanie

His spouse wouldn’t have to worry about him getting hurt too often, it’s Madara. They’ll have to worry about who he hurt

Likes when his spouse walks around town confidently like they own everything. That’s hot asf to him

I’m convinced he has a softer side that’s so warm one could spontaneously burst from it

Pulling them in close to lay their head on his chest while making small circles with his finger on their back or shoulder

Coming up and kissing their shoulder when they’re concentrating on their own work to pester them about what they’re doing for telling them to hurry up

It’s time to train

Which is Madara’s version of saying he wants their attention

HE TAKES HIS GLOVES OFF TO HOLD HANDS sometimes

He’s not overly concerned about PDA but he prefers to keep most intimacy within the house

Loves couples bathing and will turn their solo bath into one

If someone offended them, he wants names. Now

If they set a date, he’ll always be there no matter how busy his schedule may have been

Very random; but he’s the most likely brother to prank his spouse

Inari

Very supportive of his spouse’s ambitions

He’s not the husband that will drill them about where they’re going and who will be there

He’ll just tell them to have fun and don’t get into too much trouble

He craves quality time with his spouse and would be very happy if they joined him in collecting herbs and grinding medicines

He is a bit of a romantic, so fresh wild flowers weekly while they’re in season and confections for them to know he appreciates them

Makes them tea whenever they’ve had a stressful day and ask if they want to talk about it

Loves when they’ve read something from his personal library so they can talk about it

Falls in love all over again whenever they hug or kiss him for no particular reason

Lightly brags about his spouse to his patients and brothers

Enjoys leaving love bites for the same reason

Kota

So excited to be a husband, but if they ask him what he’s smiling about he’s going to get embarrassed

Looks forward to being able to cuddle them nightly

Will get a little moody by that i mean he’s insufferable with others if his partner is touched out and he hasn’t had them

He’ll make them little wood carvings while out on missions of the different animals he’s seen

Secretly wants to do all the cliché couples things including festivals, moon viewing, and cherry blossom parties

He’s going to lay his head on their lap whenever he’s wanting to be spoiled or just doesn’t want them to leave

He’s also a bit of a neat freak and cleanly, so they will rarely have to clean up after him and he’ll clean their messes too

Which isn’t a problem unless he feels they’re intentionally doing it to piss him off

Once they’re his, his jealous nature subsides a bit, but it will pop up back up when someone tries to be overly sweet with his spouse

He’s got a lot of emotional maturing to do. So his spouse will have to give him some grace and also put him in his place when he steps out of line

He’ll try to argue back, but he’ll ultimately apologize

Then awkwardly try to make it up to them

It’s not the smoothest sailing relationship, but they’re as important to him as his brothers if not more

So he’ll always try to be better for them

Tenko

They have him wrapped around their little finger completely

The type to wake up and admire his spouses face in pure bliss

He’s can’t get enough of them and will either wake them up with too many kisses or from messing with their hair

Absolute trash in the kitchen, doesn’t stop him from trying to make them food

Will gorge out on any food they make for family get togethers because he doesn’t want to share it

They can have his cooking

He’ll never raise his voice in anger towards them about anything

Beg him for anything and he’s folding. Immediately.

Will take them dancing in the moonlight

If they’re having a bad day, he’ll do anything to make them smile

Loves doing their hair. Doesn’t matter how short or long it is, he’ll insist on helping them wash it

They (and the whole village) will know he’s back from a mission because they will hear him cheerfully shouting their name/petname

He’s a little baby crazed/eager to start a family so he’s going to talk about how cute babies and little kids are

Adoption or his own, he doesn’t care. He just wants to start their family sometime soon

Izuna

He’s still a dick, but he’s their dick. So it’s okay 😌

He’s the most possessive. Like will literally grab their waist and pull them closer if someone so much as pets their eyes linger on his spouse too long

Might ignore them if they entertained someone he doesn’t like, or he’ll start a fight

You just never know with him

unlike his brothers, he doesn’t like his spouse showing themselves off. It makes him SICK when he sees the wistful eyes of others looking at HIS partner

On the brighter side, he’s happiest when he’s needed. So if his spouse gives him task, he’s going to be smug about it on the outside and mentally doing cartwheels

He needs quality time with his spouse, so he seeks out their company as much as possible

Which can come off as clingy

And he is

But they’re his spouse. They should want to be around him

Wipes down their seat for them without fail everytime

He’s also going to kiss their sleeping forehead every morning when he’s ready to leave

He’s the type to them you have a good day and if they respond with an “I’ll try.” He’ll respond with “you will have a good day.”

Tries to keep his composer at all times, but a little praise and a few neck kisses later and he’s melting

[rowanthestrange]

In my brief wanderings and touching of grass plus £4.50 Mr Whippy from the ice cream van the economy is in shambles, I have concluded:

Rogue!Master the Dungeon Master cosplaying Captain Jack is definitely still the most logical Occam’s Razor and fitting of the episode themes, both full of depth but also fairly easy for casuals to also follow along with, which is how Rusty likes it.

However. You could theoretically do differently if you were willing to fully commit to the 5d chess that is the Doctor knowing it’s the Master but also roleplaying cus he just really wants this. Because then you uno-reverse yet again, red-herrings bait-and-switch, with this actually being Pantheon member The Rogue, who knows that the Doctor will know it’s the Master cosplaying Captain Jack, and when daddy trapped him in the tooth this allowed the Rogue to do exactly what we see at the start of the episode and effectively take the Master’s place and life in the universe. And we can still explain the all important ‘but why is he cosplaying as Captain Jack’ for basically the same reasons - The Rogue is a Pantheon member and they’ve all watched the show.

(It’s not about just pretending to be Jack, he’s a baddie, he entered to “I’m the bad guy” I’m assuming you know your theory let’s continue)

Pantheon is valid for him because their only shared qualities so far have been 1) Being American, 2) Being Gay, 3) Being about Creativity* *however he is actually shit at improv and ad lib so point against tbh, 4) Being The Something - Rogue works, and the unknown but likely 5) Have watched Doctor Who.

(Whether extradimensional beings crosses over with beings ‘beyond the universe’ I think can easily swing either way, so I won’t use it as a point either way, just note it).

But obvious question is: Why? Sure we need more Pantheon but we don’t need two baddies that fulfil the role of Doctor’s Spouse. This does nothing for us. The ecological niche is already filled.

Option A) Maybe we’re using this to work out a way for the Master to ultimately be a Pantheon member on par with the Doctor. Seems like a dumb way of going about it with bigeneration and so on, but if you were to dedicated a series subplot to it with a few episodes I’m sure you could smush them together and get there.

Option B) We’re going to reveal that the Rogue is actually much more metaphysically malleable than that. He’s a Wildcard, a Joker, he’s ‘rogue’ because he just sees a gap and he fills it, whatever that gap might be for better or worse. Bring back the Master and he becomes something else. He is the plotbunny for plotholes, he’s making a home in there. Fitting for a dungeon lowercase-m-master. And it’s funny and drama time when you let the Master out and at him.

…But again realistically you just don’t have two characters filling the same ecological niche in the first place, Occam’s Razor says it’s just the one. Just that I think you could do it if you were willing to push your audience and do the groundwork - and I don’t think we’re getting rid of the Pantheon this season just introducing them so…

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Personal question you don’t have to answer: I saw in the tags of that now-paganism post you talked about not believing in other gods but you do believe in other supernatural beings such as sheydim, and then you talked about a “Her” reaching out to you and Her not being who you originally thought.

Were you reached out to by a sheyd?

Nope!

When I originally (and reluctantly) began to dip my toes back into theism, I was very much a pagan and so my initial thought/understanding after some research was Hestia. And honestly? I was very fine with that, because Hestia has a lot more of an interesting mythology than you might think at first blush.

Initially the thing I was "asked" (nudged? idk) to do, was to cover my hair. I brushed that off for a couple years until it became extremely obvious that this was what I was being spiritually called to do. At that point I started searching out reasons and who that might be coming from, which led me to Hestia. So I began to do research to find a good reason why this was a bad idea, and eventually (if skeptically) concluded that it was entirely harmless and up to me if I wanted to connect. So I thought what the hell, why not. I covered my hair and looked up more information and had a little altar and left small hearth offerings for about two years. In that time though, unfortunately there was no real movement, no progress, no additional contact, nothing. During that time, I began to get increasingly more interested in Judaism - academically, of course - and had a much harder time focusing on any pagan path. Instead, I found myself powerfully and inexplicably drawn to Judaism despite my denial and all protestations to the contrary.

To cut a long saga short, after a couple years of radio silence, I realized I must have been wrong about the identity of the source of that nudge, and it was only once I learned about the Shechinah being feminine that it all made sense. The feminine energy I was reading was not coming from a goddess per se, but rather the one and only G-d who is effectively every gender and no gender, but whose earthly presence is typically understood in feminine terms.

And you know what? Guess around what time it was that I started feeling the pull to cover my hair? It was shortly after I became officially engaged to my now-spouse and we were living together in what was in practice (if not by law) a marriage.

When I finally admitted where I was at with things and reached out to Hashem, I experienced an immediate and powerful connection that drastically outstripped any spiritual experience I'd had before. I could only conclude from that experience that Hashem was real like nothing else I'd ever tried to build a connection with, and I felt compelled to connect as deeply with Her as was possible. My path was laid out for me.

As for the sheydim or other possible non-human beings... look I wouldn't say I for sure *believe* in them so much as I don't feel like I have enough information to rule it out. The Talmud and mystical rabbinic writings treat them as being very real, and I'm inclined not to assume that I'm smarter or wiser than all of the Tannaim, Amoraim, Sages, and great rabbis who did believe in them. However, I've never directly experienced them myself. Other gods I don't have a problem ruling out, at least insofar as it matters to me. If they exist, they aren't my problem. I respect other people's connections to the Divine as valid and real for them, in the same way I would like other people to respect and validate (for me) my connection to G-d, which is through the lens of Judaism. Essentially, I believe that G-d is G-d, that G-d wants a relationship with all people, and will speak to us in the "voice" that we are most likely to hear. For me that voice is the still small echo from Sinai. For you it might be something else. G-d is infinite and we each glimpse the smallest fraction of that divinity in our travels through life and spirituality.