#one of the best damn APs in the world

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

Suvi, a child of the Citadel and a soldier, made the right call. Her feelings were legitimate. Her worldview and upbringing dictates the split second calls she makes. Love and friendship in conflict with loyalty and duty, and she defaults to her training.

Ame, a witch and a wild one (not in the Honored Friend sense but just a wild person), made the right call. Her life was in danger, and these people part of the cage closing around her. An animal backed into the corner. Far too much of her still matching the fox to be tame and graceful in a world of artifice

Eursulon, a protector and an Honored Friend, made the right call. One friend in danger, hunted, with so few she can trust. The other in ostensibly the safest place in the world for her. But a place he could not stay, a trap for himself too. To go. And to protect.

All three made arguably bad choices. All three made arguably the right choice. And all three definitely made choices 100% in character.

I love the complications in this story and the characters and Brennan playing them into their own little traps

[foone]

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina

Pan basipila: the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport.

We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories...

Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had.

The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help"

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing.

But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

(it takes a while to properly explain the insult. Crogathi (especially drones) don't really have mothers or sexual reproduction, so they don't really get why that would be an insult. It's finally translated as something like "bud-biter")

and it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

the funniest possible future: humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them

"humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

you want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead.

you don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD.

It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan.

They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity.

not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

the rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies. the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

the obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

this often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

the intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories

they seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

(From a twitter thread on October 1st, 2022)

[teojira]

[Marriage ceremony headcanons w/ Noa!] [commission!]

A/N: Thank you for commissioning me Fox ! Your support to me means everything and I hope this is good!

Summary: What marrying Noa would be like and how you both go about it.

Warnings: Noa x reader romance, very self indulgent and may be a lil ooc

Marrying an Ape is not easy, and you're sure you're the first human to have ever put those words together in a sentence and thought of them to begin with.

The ceremony is a big deal, it's you and the Eagle clan leader after all.

Human marriages have been lost to time, so there won't be any pretty dresses or suits, but you're still adorned with gifts and whatnot.

A lot of your accessories come from Noa himself, things he has crafted you in the courting process. Arm guards, necklaces, bracelets, all lovingly crafted by himself when he was ever away from you on scouting expeditions.

His mother and Soona help you too, get ready for their own customs that you may not be privy too.

It's apart of their culture that betrothed each give one another a feather from their eagle, to wear it almost as if it's a wedding ring, so they let you know to make sure to keep one handy for it.

Noa has a good bunch to choose from, subtly freaking out and thinking none of them are good enough for you, to which Eagle sun peeks at his master. It doesn't help, Noa just side eyes him all the more with a glare, smacking his lips.

Anaya is there to help him get ready as well, despite not ever going through the ceremony himself. Though he's mostly there just to lend an ear to whatever Noa needs to let off his chest.

I like to think Noa would ask you about your human customs, while yes, you're his mate, and this is firstly his home. He would never any to alienate you. He's more than willing to add in whatever you see fit. You're his mate, his equal. It's only right.

The ceremony takes place a little ways off from the colony, next to a waterfall. There's really no officator, nor is there a really big crowd. It consists of you both, Dar, Soona and Anaya, and a few other of the elders, who, while not fully accepting of the union at first, comes to their senses when Noa is adamant.

You've told Noa about vows about the speeches people usually make, and it scares the ape so badly to say it outloud just how much he cares for you. So you leave it for when you two are alone in the nest, it's more special that way you figure.

You and Noa exchange feathers, gently wrapping it around each other's arms. Your hands are trembling as you finally, and I mean, finally secure the knot.

Noa grabs your hands within his, intertwining your fingers together to the best of his ability due to the sheer size difference and pulls them to his chest, sighing deeply when you immediately move to brush across his scar, a smile on his lips.

He tugs you in, then pressing his forehead against yours as he cups your face, brushing the strands of hair away from it.

The leader is quiet as he soaks you in, your warmth, your scent, the feeling of you finally being officially his, in both of your worlds.

"Will you marry me?" You mumble, eyes opening ever so slightly to look up at Noa, and your heart is pounding so damn hard in your chest you fear you're gonna pass out.

"Yes." Noa answers without a moment of hesitation.

Now here comes the tricky part, kissing you in front of his family, the way humans do.

Lord help him, he's found echo fairy tales and he did enough reading to get the gist of how a marriage kiss should be.

It's a little bit awkward to situate you in his arms so suddenly, but the giggle you let out when he finally kisses you is all he needs in return.

Yes, both of you ignore the hooting in the distance.

[yeonboy]

𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ♡ choi yeonjun.

If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?

❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends to lovers!au ♡ angst ♡ humor ♡ fluff

❧ 7 k words

❧ warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:

❧ note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you won’t find links to my main anywhere bec i’ve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - we’ll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie 😔

leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:

❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘

"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."

Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.

"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."

That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."

"Not even gonna ask how you know that… But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."

"But they mess up my palate!"

When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the university’s senior ice hockey team’s ace, their Center, their captain, and that he’s looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.

Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now – him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.

Damn. Time sure flies fast.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.

“Yeah. Stupid. A lot of it.”

Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.

See, now, the thing is – you don’t necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. That’d just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.

It’s just impossible not to! 

Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. He’s a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, he’s gotten into manically coloring his hair, which…is seriously injurious to the onlookers’ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.

And he isn’t even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.

That is another thing about him – he’s too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isn’t just an insanely handsome dude who’d hold your hand to help you cross the road, but he’d also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.

You as in a person, not – not you. He’d never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because you’d probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.

Wow.

You can’t count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when it’s tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and you’d lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.

“Should I get more burgers?”

Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. He’s pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.

“You’ve had six in the past hour, Jjun. I’d say stop for the night, maybe?”

“Hey, I have a big appetite!” He scowls at you. “And it’s close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!”

You groan. “Well, then, why did you ask?”

“To be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.” He widens his eyes and blinks at you. “Or did you forget I’m also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?”

The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a year’s worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldn’t be ‘nursing a heartbreak’ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you aren’t even done with your mid-sems yet.

But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. “Ah, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.”

He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.

You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"

"Oh yeah? You didn't even—oof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"

At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep someday…"

You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."

"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"

"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college – she knew what she was doing."

Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean… I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."

You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.

Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.

"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' her”—you make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyes—“when they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."

Yeonjun’s eyes are wide when you finish speaking. “What…?”

“She didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. “All I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing you’ve never taken these relationships too seriously. There’s more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.”

Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.

So then…is he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.

"I… She did have feelings for me, Y/N. They—the girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. “I haven’t taken these relationships that casually. I'm – I’m not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.”

Okay, hold on – what?

What?

How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?

"Yeonjun, no… That's not what I'm trying—"

"Let's – let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."

Now that – gives you a pause. "I won't…get it?"

He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.

And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.

"Jjun?"

He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"

"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?" 

This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort. 

"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"

"Look, it's… well. You’ve always subtly looked down upon all the girls I’ve dated in college, and that was fine. You’re my best friend, you’re allowed to be a critic.” He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. “But… I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.”

No… literally when did you insinuate that?

You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.

“You won’t get it because you don’t want me, you’ve never wanted me – and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesn’t mean that no one sees any depth in me.”

“A… comedic relief character?” your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. “What the hell are you talking about? This isn’t about you – it’s about these girls… You’re my best friend, Yeonjun!”

“And yet you can’t find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.” He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. “You don’t use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously don’t care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?”

His words are like death blows – each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.

There’s so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you don’t even know how to begin correcting them. 

How did you even get here?

You’d only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.

How did that turn into him thinking you don’t value your friendship with him? That you don’t value him?

“Oh, and by the way,” he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, “Changbin’s probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because… you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yes…” He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. “If you say yes, I hope you know it’ll mean a lot more.”

Why is he bringing up Changbin again? You’d only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back – you haven’t even responded to a single text he’s sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one? 

Absolutely out of the question.

Does Yeonjun not know you at all?

You’re about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. “I’m planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung – you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought I’d ask for your opinion, but… You’ve already made that pretty clear tonight.”

Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if it’s dying a slow death in your chest.

Chaeyoung, really? So he’s skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung. 

Of course. 

Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesn’t even have one. How could you forget.

Maybe it’s a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.

“For what it’s worth,” you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, “I’m sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not – not hurt you. You’re the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.”

You don’t wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.

The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.

And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesn’t even attempt to stop you.

You haven’t checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.

“You’re seriously still up?” Yuqi’s disappointed voice calls out. “The crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.”

You wince in guilt. “Fuck, Yuqi, I’m so sorry I kept you awake—”

“Woah, what?”

She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommate’s dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.

Cheer captain… Chaeyoung…

You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someone’s cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.

“Oh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!”

You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. “I… Ugh, it’s been a weird night, Yuqi.”

She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” You try to sit up with her help. “I guess?”

“Oh, babe…” Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. “What happened?”

“Y–Yeonjun,” you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.

“Ah, man. What’d the idiot do this time?”

Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes he’s too oblivious and doesn’t particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, you’re batting for his defense against Yuqi.

Right now, though, you feel like you’re gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.

So you tell her exactly what happened – give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.

“What the fuck?”

You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. “And he’s picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess it’s whatever.”

“You know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively… which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out – had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?” Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. “And Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.”

That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. “How… how is she, though? As a person?”

It’s so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.

“She’s… not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.” Yuqi sighs. “She’s friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why she’s running for captain alongside me.”

Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him – and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. That’s good news, right?

So why does your heart seem to ache even more?

“Everything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.” You tip your head against her shoulder. “What do I do?”

“Admit to yourself that you don’t just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?”

You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. “What?”

Yuqi just rolls her eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t move on if you don’t admit to it first, can you?”

Move on…?

Is that what you have to do now? Maybe. 

If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, it’s best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.

“And then maybe text Changbin back,” Yuqi continues. “He’s their goalie. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, he’s nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.

You just exhale a deep breath. “Maybe.”

16:37 | changbin (: congratulations to yuqi! tell her i knew she would make it :D

↪ Haha thanks! Will do!

soooo our first match’s three days away kinda wanted to ask u something before that meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?

↪ Oh it’s Monday already right? ↪ I’ll see you at the lockers, sure! ↪ How does around 7 sound?

perfect~~ just like your eyes >.<

“Ew, man, ewww…”

You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. “Hey! It’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder!”

“No, what’s ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!” Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really can’t blame her. 

You’ve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. He’s definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didn’t lie to you. 

But – the way this dude flirts? Good God. 

Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.

On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and… him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.

That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heart…is obviously elsewhere.

Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.

Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.

The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.

Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.

“He sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.

“Aw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?”

You just groan and roll your eyes. “I’m gonna go see him tonight. He’ll probably offer me his jersey…”

That sobers Yuqi up. “Oh. So it’s time, huh? What’re you gonna tell him?”

You give her a wry smile. “What do you think?”

Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. “Well… At least you tried, yeah?”

Yeah… and failed spectacularly.

And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.

The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.

For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling. 

You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you – and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him. 

Why're you bumping into him here of all places?

He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox – your life. 

But here he shows up – to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.

You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.

Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, but…what draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks. 

There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.

You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.

Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?

"What are you… oh."

Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.

Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!

But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've… I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't – he doesn't hope for anything more."

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"

Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What…?"

Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"

His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using – one that you have always secretly fawned over – isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."

You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."

He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that – but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.

Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."

He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"

"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand – but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.

"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle – everything's beneath you!"

Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again – this was never about him! "Yeonjun – no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just – I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"

"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a – a puck bunny?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer for—fuck…"

Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.

You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now… maybe never.

Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.

Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester – you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.

Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now – you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.

But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.

"What…what do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.

Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.

But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him – because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meant…you have no reason to doubt.

"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I… I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us that…"

Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"

He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.

"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."

Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.

"Are you my girl?"

His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.

"I'd – I'd like to be. If…you'd have me?"

"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"

You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.

"Can I kiss you?" 

Oh God, oh God, oh God—

“Yes, please.”

The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.

His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.

A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.

You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going. 

But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.

He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes – and that he does as well.

With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.

"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"

Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never… you always…"

His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest… You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."

"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"

He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."

A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealous…"

"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."

He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."

A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"

"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.

Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.

Wait…

Fuck.

Changbin!

Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.

"Back here, Bin!"

"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.

"Should I try Binnie, then?" 

He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.

Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but – your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.

"I… um?"

You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."

"I… can see that, I guess…"

To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.

"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"

Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The – the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"

"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."

"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"

And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.

"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right now…"

You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."

He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"

You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."

Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"

"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile. 

He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."

And then he kisses you again.

© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.

[a-boca-do-inferno]

SFW ALPHABET (caesar x human!reader) [request]

warnings: angst, fluff, swearing

words: 3.4k

notes: damn this took me forever cause i was rly feeling it jdfkj anyways i hope you enjoy!

Affection; how affectionate is he?

Caesar is possibly the most affectionate among his peers without a doubt, yet he still would seem somehow “colder” by human standards—mostly because of the different ways apes show any type of affection at all. Being a leader is a big part of who he is, after all, and ever so often that means putting aside personal preferences to be fair for everyone and on top of that, you are human. The ape king has to maintain a certain level of diplomacy when you two are in public as to not stir up unpleasant situations within the colony, a large part of them orchestrated by the likes of Koba, of course.

“He’s trouble.” That’s what Caesar signs to you one time, whilst you both watch over the sleeping apes from his home. The frown on his features is there; unchanging. “Gotta be careful. Fair.”

And you can’t blame him for that. Still, among what it all means for him to show any preference towards you in the public eye, being alone in your place or his is another matter entirely. The king is very touchy, always making sure to wrap a protective arm around your belly while you’re doing some task he couldn’t care less about at that moment. His thick fingers brush your midriff idly, his face nuzzling into your shoulder to get his fill of you for the day; almost like you’re a drug and it’s time for his fix. The element of taboo because of your different species, such a hard pill he has to swallow every day, in that specific position only serves to fuel his desire for you on astronomical levels. He’s completely, helplessly addicted to you.

Best friend; what would he be like as a best friend?

Caesar’s got one of those personalities where it doesn’t matter the relationship he has to you, there’s this unshakeable sense of understanding and security he transpires naturally, along with his obvious need to protect you at all costs, which is arguably shaped by his past experiences with the death of loved ones. Have you ever heard of the term “mom friend”? That is the ape king, all the way. His overprotectiveness might feel overwhelming sometimes, that’s true, but his good intentions are so painfully clear, you simply can’t bring yourself to stay mad at him for long. Not when he tries to win you over with gifts and whatnots; bringing you food when he’s out hunting, handcrafting those flower crowns you love so much, even going as far as confessing his feelings to you through a formal apology, pulling you softly by your elbow after you had supper so you can talk in private.

“How… are you?” Caesar will rasp, his green eyes sweet like honey when directed at you, and that look is all you need to know he’s silently recognizing he was a bit too much earlier—as usual. You cave immediately many times, because there’s no safer place in the world than his furry self holding you tightly, securely, as you fall asleep in his nest.

Cuddles; does he like to cuddle?

Absolutely yes! It’s his favourite time of the day. After so much work with the council, trying to figure out strategies to make apes’ resources last for the whole winter, there’s nothing else Caesar would rather be doing than laying down with you and pressing his body close to yours, cherishing your natural heat. He can’t get enough of your softness, hugging you tight almost like you’re his own personal plushie, his nose rubbing against your neck as he inhales your scent, enjoying every second to the fullest.

“Clingy”, you purr every time, to which the king only huffs, burying his face into the crook of your shoulder even further.

Domestic; does he want to settle down? how is he at cooking and cleaning?

Caesar is very responsible with chores in general, so his home is always neat. He’s definitely a domestic man, preferring the comfort of his own place rather than staying out too much—he loves his community too, of course, yet he’s got a quiet and more tranquil personality—so that’s why he’s invested in caring for his turf. As for cooking, the most he can do is human food, which isn’t so accessible nowadays, but Caesar can hold his ground making an improvised stew when it’s cold.

Also, another one of his favourite times of the day is when you two are in silence at home, just appreciating each other’s company after supper while you groom him in bed. It’s something he’s grateful for; he never asked for it, yet you decided you wanted to socialise and become closer to him through his culture, ape culture, and the king gladly let you do the deed.

Ending; if he had to break up with his mate, how would he do it?

Quite transparently—would casually ask you to join him alone for a serious conversation and lay all cards on the table. Caesar is very mindful with his words and how he says them, watching his tone, his expression, careful not to hurt you more than the absolute necessary. Ultimately, if he ever had to break up with you, it probably wouldn’t have anything to do with lack of sentiment from his part, but rather the impracticality of having a relationship with a human while being an ape—the king, no less. All his decisions are inevitably rational, always in favour of the greater good and in order to maintain harmony in the colony. Even at the expense of his own happiness, no matter how much it would hurt him, and so he’d definitely find the best way to tell it like it is whilst also being the most gentle he could manage.

Fiancé; how does he feel about commitment?

Caesar’s a marriage kinda guy, yep. Being brought up with humans undeniably influenced the way he sees relationships in general and to be honest, he never really felt like his way of approaching the topic fit with the way apes do it, although he’s not talked about it out loud to anyone. Primate culture revolves around utility of a mate and it’s often not monogamous per se, albeit there are some known jealous apes in the group—him included, despite never admitting it to himself either. The usual dynamic is simply a no-no for him, especially with you. He wants it all: the wife, the children, the pets. All he’s entitled to.

Gentle; how gentle is he, both physically and emotionally?

Caesar can be a tough cookie, we all know that. Of course, that is due to the fact he’s the leader and with his responsibilities, among them lie the aching need to appear strong all the time—however, when in your presence, all of that just melts away. You cause him to feel comfortable and safe to be soft and he indulges in that foreign feeling of vulnerability more often than not, allowing himself to relax and let his guard down, if only for brief moments. Physically, it may come as no surprise that the king is ripped. Not sure if it’s genetics or what, but he’s very strong and you feel his strength in all its glory when Caesar is pushing you down against your nest at night. Heh.

Hugs; does he like hugs? what are his hugs like?

Not the biggest hugger in general. The king is cuddly, yes, but on his own terms, on very specific times—when you’re both alone. Normally, Caesar prefers to keep any public displays of affection at a minimum, which isn’t to say he won’t hug you back if you come to hold him; he just won’t initiate it himself. He’s a bulky ape, and so being held by him feels quite literally like being snuggled into a bear hug, your face smashed against his furry, firm chest, his thick arms enveloping you and heating you up almost instantly.

I love you; how fast does he say the L-word?

He says it back immediately after you mention it, as it ignites a memory long lost in his brain. A moment when he was a child and Will silently cooed it into his ear, trying to soothe him after he got worked up and attacked the neighbour that one time. 

“(y/n) loves… Caesar.” He repeats, his voice raspy, green eyes watching you intently as he tilts his head, processing your words and slowly understanding what they truly mean. You nod with a faint smile and he hoots, bringing your foreheads together. “Caesar loves… (y/n).”

Jealousy; how jealous does he get?

Caesar’s unsurprisingly very possessive. He does try to keep it in check for your sake, most of the time, but also because he is a pacifist at heart—though no amount of peace inside the king would ever make him turn the other way whenever his gaze falls on you with another male a little too close. The scowl is inevitable and his nostrils flare, something deep in his gut burning, eating away at his stomach. Anger.

“(y/n)”, he calls—orders, his tone authoritative, his look and signing sharp, such a rare sight from him when talking to you. 

And with the slight huff at your direction, you already know what’s going on and make no fuss about it, politely excusing yourself and leaving the male’s side, approaching Caesar obediently. He stands tall in front of you, still frowning, and puts your body behind his, hissing at the stranger from a distance, his fangs showing in a threatening manner. Nothing much to happen from there, besides everyone around getting the message and dutifully going about their way, preferably away from you.

Kisses; what are his kisses like?

Shy and rough. Caesar does know humans kiss to show their love toward one another, after seeing it happen so much between Will and his girlfriend—but he has a silent insecurity concerning your different anatomies, since your lips are so distinct from his own, so much smoother and smaller, which prompts him to feel too self-conscious and overly alert at the possibility to hurting you with his fangs on accident. He does love receiving your kisses, though, even more so than giving them, readily sheltering himself in your arms as you run a hand through his furry head and pepper him with affection all over his face. His quiet grunts are enough to tell you the king’s not getting out of your embrace anytime soon, if he can help it.

Little ones; how is he around children?

Caesar’s got a naturally soothing presence, even around the most feisty baby apes. He’s overprotective of the little ones too, although not scolding them too roughly as he’s learned this approach was hardly ever effective with Blue Eyes when the prince was younger. His relationship to the young often revolves around his wise counselling—whether they asked for it or not, the kiddos just have to deal with papa Caesar going on and on about some life lesson when they just want to go out and play up in the trees already.

Morning; how are mornings spent with him?

Caesar’s an early bird, so he’s always up first. He’s got a habit of watching you as you sleep, revelling in the sound of your soft and steady breath, his green eyes observing attentively as your chest rises and falls. His routine is what keeps him grounded, and so he grabs some breakfast for you both and gently wakes you to accompany him in the meal before he’s off to his duties in the colony. Sometimes you two chat, other times you eat in silence and meet again at lunch, in the communal spot all the apes gather around. 

Night; how are nights spent with him?

Quietly—again, no surprise there. When Caesar’s not feeling too sexy, it’s often because the king’s very tired, so he refrains from talking a lot and simply enjoys your comforting presence. On good days he will talk about something funny that happened while hunting, and on bad days, his complaints will concern some dispute raised by troublemakers like Koba and his followers. You try your best to soothe his nerves in those moments, reassuring him of the trust the apes have in him not to fall for anyone’s opposition to his guidance, which he’s grateful for, too. It’s nice for him to feel like someone, you, will follow him no matter what. Gives him a sense of security he desperately needs.

Open; when would he start revealing things about himself?

You’d have to ask a lot at first, and not even with the promise of getting straight answers every time you do, despite your best efforts. Caesar’s obviously not an open book and even when he does talk about himself, more so about his old life with humans, you usually have to jump through hoots to interpret his philosophical riddles on your own—sometimes you even think he’s fucking with you on purpose, but you don’t mention it, not wanting to fight for such a small thing. Still, you are the only one who could ever question him as much as you do and not get completely ignored, anyway. He’s got a soft spot for you.

Patience; how easily angered is he?

Not very easily. Caesar’s got his head in the right place mostly—he only ever gets angry when it’s something serious concerning his family directly (you, Blue Eyes, Cornelius) and since he’s always silently making sure that you’re all cared for, it is indeed a rare sight to see him irritated. He does get mildly annoyed whenever you’re teasing him about his jealousy, yet it’s nothing compared to how he behaves when he’s feeling really possessive, as stated before.

Quizzes; how much would he remember about you?

A good amount, actually. Caesar will randomly mention some small detail about you that you didn’t even remember telling him in the first place; some things he says are even just his own conclusions he draws from little pieces of information you provide here and there, and they’re usually pretty accurate, which never fails to amaze you. It only serves to show how intelligent the ape king truly is.

Remember; what is his favourite moment in your relationship?

Possibly the first time Caesar understands you like him—more than a platonic feeling. At that point, though you two had become very close, there had always been this little voice inside saying that it couldn’t be really possible, not even in his wildest dreams. Whatever would you have seen in him, an ape? Sure, it was obvious you’d much rather be around him than any other male in the colony, and sure, you mentioned time and time again how glad you were for his presence as you knew apes had their shortcomings with humanity, and he insisted on integrating you into their world at the best of his ability, regardless. Yet the king never once considered those words anything more than you just being your sweet self. Clueless ass.

“I see it.” Maurice commented one night, signing toward your figure a few rocks down. Caesar eyed his friend slightly puzzled, waiting for him to finish his thought, and the ginger grunted, “how (y/n) looks at Caesar.” He points at the ape king’s chest. 

And Caesar could only scoff, huffing and shaking his head, his hands gesturing rapidly, “Maurice… confused.” His deep voice mocks, to which the orangutan merely shrugged, a hint of amusement in his gaze.

And Maurice was right, as he often was.

Security; how protective is he?

Homeboy’s a bit paranoid, not gonna lie. But can you blame him? Being constantly in a state of war with other humans lurking around, trying to harm his colony and his family, along with the petty quarrels between the apes themselves, surely take its toll on the ape king’s state of mind. Your fights about the topic are very frequent because of that, precisely—whenever Caesar’s more stressed than usual, he’ll give you shit for going out hunting with Blue Eyes or Rocket, no matter how much he trusts them to protect you. In his mind, you’re only safe around him and him only. That’s something you’re both still working on.

Try; how much effort would he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

Caesar is a very caring mate and likes to flaunt it a bit. He would put his best into quick getaways from the hustle of the colony, making sure to plan something special just for the two of you next to the river, arranging a meal with your favourite fruit on display. He is also be very thoughtful with gifts, getting something personalised just for you like the head accessories you like to wear occasionally. The king is very reliable and diligent, always doing his part to maintain the relationship and keep things running smoothly, it’s just part of his leading nature to sort of take control over things. 

Ugly; what would be some bad habits of his?

Heavy is the head that wears the crown and with Caesar, apart from the responsibilities he’s got to live with, there’s also the never leaving stubbornness. The king has a sense of arrogance and a feeling of superiority that’s honestly not unexpected for someone in his position—he’s only ape, after all. A lot of arguments happen because of his inflexibility, and they usually concern colony affairs that sometimes you two disagree with, which causes a bit of tension when the power dynamics come into play in your relationship. If he’s the king and you’re his mate, then what does that make you, when you’re not even “publicly” acknowledged as such? It’s a tricky question that even Caesar can’t quite answer whenever you ask. 

Vanity; how concerned is Caesar with his looks?

His vanity arises when you two start your relationship officially. Caesar’s not so much concerned with how he looks, but rather how you perceive him, if he’s attractive to you given your different species and anatomy, and that is as far as it will go. He’s got more important matters to attend to than caring about how others—beside you—see him, either physically or otherwise. 

Whole; would he feel incomplete without you?

Yeah. Caesar’s a big softie inside and he feels something for you that is not even comparable to how he felt with Cornelia before—it’s so much more intense and consuming. It’s like you’ve become his very oxygen. Without you everything else seems so dull, colourless, lifeless. Even your silence is different from everybody else’s, the way you blink, the way you shift slightly in your spot beside him. When he can’t smell you around, it’s like the king unconsciously knows he’s too far away from home, and it almost feels unsafe for him to dare exist in that condition. And Caesar doesn’t even think much about it, there’s simply this… strangeness whenever you’re not there. This emptiness. A sense of nothingness that silently terrifies him when he does think of it for more than a second.

Xtra; a random headcanon for him.

Caesar’s a serious guy, it’s his default, but he just loves making you laugh. He’s often finding ways to goof around in his own manner, which only makes it funnier and more endearing to you, seeing this enormous, grumpy ape trying to make jokes for the sole purpose of seeing you smile. He’ll do it anywhere, anytime, with anything he can find close; holding up blueberries to his eyes’ level and making ridiculous faces, hooting and acting like some random goofy monkey, scratching his sides and screeching, sometimes even going as far as joking about giving you his “banana” later on.

You chuckle softly at his antics, bringing him closer into a gentle hug that he gladly accepts, letting out faint hoots at your familiar touch. “You’re so silly.” You murmur between laughs, and the ape king can’t get enough of that sound. It’s music to his ears.

Yuck; what are some things he wouldn’t like, either in general or in a mate?

Recklessness is the way to make Caesar lose it. He can’t help it, he’s got the fatherly and overly responsible thing going on all the time. That’s something he also has to come to terms with when being around you—he’s not sure if it’s human behaviour or if he’s just too much of an uptight ape himself, but you’re someone who seems to like toying with his patience like no one else does. He feels like he’s being tested, at times.

Zzz; what is a sleep habit of his?

Caesar’s a simple guy. He typically sleeps either on his side or on his back and prefers cuddling you from behind, no matter the position he’s in. The king may also occasionally grunt or make other soft sounds in his sleep, but they are generally not loud enough to wake you in his arms.

[ben-talks-art]

I have a confession to make... I don't think I like this movie

Before I start I just want to say, I do think this is a good movie. I think the visuals are amazing, it is very creative, has very pleasant lights and colors, the robots all have nice designs, it's paced well, has a lot of good humor despite what the trailers might have alluded to, and overall, as a stand-alone story, it works well for the most part to tell the tale of two friends eventually becoming enemies.

My problems with this movie come from... admittedly a very entitled headcanon-ish mindset of "This isn't how I wanted things to play out."

Kinda like how when you watch Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and you get upset that Peter doesn't tell jokes because that's a part of the character that really appealed to you, this movie feels like it doesn't do the parts of the character of Optimus that appealed to me, or if they do, they don't do it in a way that I wanted.

I grew up with quite a few different versions of Optimus through the years. The ape gorilla one from Beast Wars, the firetruck one from Robots in Disguise, the young one from Animated, and the one with weird feet from the Bayverse.

They all offer their take in Optimus but they all manage to keep the core idea of his appeal intact, that being... He's a boring guy, that just so happens to be THE coolest boring guy ever.

He's someone who is ready to fight and kick ass for the things he believes and giving it his all until his last "breath", but the things he believes in are pretty basic stuff like world peace and things like that. It's like if your school teacher was a superhero, the most boring person you know secretly fighting crime when they have time but still valuing more the importance of teaching and guiding people in need.

To me, what makes Optimus so cool is that despite being this massive killing robot that can turn his arms into blasters, the guy is just a giant dork who loves life.

His sense of duty over protecting others comes from his sense of love for all living beings and for their right to exist. He doesn't see himself above anyone, only above those that try to use their power to cause harm.

He's a pacifist that only fights when he has something to protect, he's a diplomat who always tries to solve things with words and reason first, he's inspiring because he never ceases to believe in the cause he fights for, and he has the leadership skills to back up everything he stands for. The dude is just HIM.

Even down to the name "Optimal", he represents the best of us in the best way possible.

So I was curious to see how he was going to be handled in Transformers One and... He's kinda basic.

My thing with this version, keeping in mind that this is meant to be a young Optimus, is that I don't really see any of the things I admire in him from other versions.

The focus here is more on playing up his "optimism" as Scarlett Johansson says, to show how cool he is because he never gives up, never stops dreaming, never stops fighting for a better future, never thinks he is less than those above him...

And all of that just feels so generic.

It felt like they could not give a damn about trying to show why Optimus loves and wants to protect life and values diplomacy over violence, and instead just tried to turn him into a Disney Princess who "dreams of more" because he was sick of being a miner.

Heck, the first few segments of this movie were showing him being incredibly reckless and putting himself and other people in danger, all of them for pretty much no reason.

He literally grabs his friend and drags him into a race without letting him know and proceeds to jump on top of several racers resulting in many getting injured, and by the time we were done he didn't even seem to care.

I thought this was going to build up to some reality check moment where he needs to grow up from his reckless behavior, but no, if anything, his behavior only leads to good thing after good thing in this movie. He gets praised by his superior, finds a lost message in the trash, uncovers a hidden secret about his people, unlocks the ability to transform and finally becomes a prime.

Optimus in this movie is constantly getting rewarded for being reckless, impulsive, selfish, and for not thinking.

To a point where when he does start acting like Optimus and takes a shot for someone else and nearly dies, I was like, "Oh, yeah... This is meant to be Optimus... Kinda forgot about that."

I just kept watching this movie and going "When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus?" and once he did, it didn't feel earned for me.

Again, my problem was that I never got the sense that this guy was someone who valued peace and life. I got the sense that he was impulsive and ready to fight for what he believed, yeah, but I didn't care what he believed in. The stuff he believed in was stuff any generic action main character tends to believe in.

Stuff like "There is something more to life for us out there, that we're all destined for greatness, that if we just believe in ourselves we can accomplish anything, and blah, blah, blah..."

I didn't really get a sense that he believed all life was worth protecting and even sacrificing yourself for.

There was a little bit of that hinted at with a scene with Jazz and the scene where he takes a shot for someone, but I needed more than that. I wanted to see why this dude would lead armies and fight armies just to protect the innocent, but I never really got a sense of connection between him and the innocent.

Like, we get a brief scene where they see a couple of animals and I was hoping he would have a moment going "Look at them... They're beautiful!" but we don't really get that. Or maybe a scene where someone ends up dying on his arms and he decides to devote himself to never let that happen again, but that also never happens. Or perhaps a scene of him talking and hanging out with the other bots, showing them struggling with their lives and giving him some sense of duty of "I need to do something to help them out!", but no, he barely talks to anyone aside from Megatron.

It's frustrating because we have these core four main characters and I kept thinking we would get some great bonding moments to show why Optimus feels it's important to fight for others, but their bonds is really surface-level. I never got the feeling they really knew each other that much.

I was so sad when I heard the speech about how his "Optimism was his greatest quality" because I just know there will be a lot of people coming out of this movie and going "Oh! That's what makes Optimus such a cool character!" and it really wasn't.

I remember in Puss In Boots 2 when they told the backstory of the little dog and we see how sad the two cats got for him.

I believed that emotion, I believed that connection, and I believed that Puss and Kitty would fight to protect him.

I never really believed Optimus truly cared about anyone any more than any generic action main lead would for their extras in a movie.

Transformers One Optimus is not, in my opinion, a good representation of what makes Optimus such an iconic leader, because it failed to convince me that this Optimus was a protector.

They put too much focus on him being an ambitious dreamer, and not enough on him being a hero.

But maybe that's just me. What do you guys think?

[grifff17]

Audiodrama Sunday 11/17/2024

Once again I forgot to do a write-up last week, but I have my notes I took as I listened to stuff, so this is going to be a long one.

@storiesfromylelmore - This was a serious episode but I lost my shit at “mom are you a furry?”. I fully had to pause the episode to laugh out loud. Does everybody else imagine the kids’ school as looking identical to their own middle school? Like the layout, the lockers, the front office, everything.

@innbetween - I started this show and binged the first 2 seasons. I really love this show, it's so funny and has great character work. The “previously” and “next time on” for events that happen offscreen is so clever, I've never seen a story do that and I like it so much. I love how it's clearly a d&d campaign with Fina making real-world references.

Skyjacks: Couriers Call - Alba leaving destroyed me god damn. Why did they have to draw The River. The first half of this episode was brutal.

@starfallpod - Leona popped the fuck off. “I am the highest power here” was amazing. The conflict between Leona and Fel in this episode had the vibes of a really good d&d campaign.

Mall Brats - This was the “Fenton buying rats flashback” episode! Truly the best flashback of all time.

@lostterminalpod - Three AIs on the same network violates the principle created by Seth’s mom. Interested to learn more about this.

@witherburn-after-school-news - Great season finale, I really like this show. Normally horror isn't my thing, but the low stakes town stuff mixed in really makes it work for me. Can't wait for the next season!

Starwhal Odyssey - Andrathel’s introduction was cool. I love a scene in an AP where the players aren’t present. I’m so excited for the wedding, when they get to it.

@worldgonewrongpod - Time travel! That was fun. How do they know about incoming time waves? Do kids under the age of 10 blip out of existence for an hour? I need to know more of the worldbuilding!

@brimstonevalleymall - Timeskip! Damien and Raven being traded to Nisroch is so funny. After so long we finally learn the deal with Hornbloss.

@secondfiddles - More people are part of the cult! I wonder how long until we get another episode focused on Tammy

@midstpodcast - The description of the oasis was so cool. Mother Artifice is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters.

@kingmakerpod - The sound design during the rockslide was amazing, I listened to it in my car and it sounded so good. I loved Telesphore’s detective moment at the end too.

@midnightburgr - Ava speaking into Caspar's head was so funny. We never learned what the deal with this copy of earth was. Normally I hate scifi plots where Earth has great intergalactic importance for no reason (see: the entire MCU), but I trust the MB team to do it well. They definitely have so far!

Bitcherton - This show has started fully airing after a pilot to promote the Kickstarter. Katie Marovitch is so funny, I can't wait to hear more of her.

[dvrk-moon]

SPIDER-FIEND - chapter ii

read chapter i here!

— synopsis: whoever documented your personal altercation with spider-man was clearly out to get you.

— word count: 1.1k

— warnings: cursing, classmates picking on you

— featuring: epex ayden, nmixx jiwoo, nwjns danielle

— a/n: who else missed this series !!

series masterlist

ii. INTERNET FAMOUS ERA

“I heard Spider-Man spilled coffee all over you,” yet another one of your classmates tormented you over your run-in with the superhero. God damn him, you already didn’t like the guy and here he was, spilling your coffee all over you and swinging away without an apology.

“Where’d you hear that from?” you inquired, facing your classmate.

“More like where’d I see it from,” he snickered, a few more laughs being elicited from your nearby classmates.

“God damn it, Ayden,” you looked at him, annoyed, “was it eBaum’s World or YouTube?”

“YouTube. You should see it, it’s got like a thousand views right now.”

You rolled your eyes and faced the front of the classroom again.

“At least your outfit was cute,” another classmate, Jiwoo, whispered to you with a smile.

You weren’t surprised at all that there was a video somewhere. YouTube was super popular, and so was Spider-Man, so your run-in was obviously going to be uploaded. If it was anyone else, you would’ve probably laughed at the video too. But because it was you, it was a nightmare.

The one person that you really needed to vent to right now was Riki. You’d sit with him at lunch and tell him all about it, but lunch was in two periods. You weren’t sure if you could wait that long, so you sent him a text:

you : OMG

you : i am going 2 die!!!!!

You slipped your phone back into your jacket pocket and tried your best to focus on the lesson so you could retain something before class ended.

For another twenty minutes, your calculus teacher droned on about reviewing for your AP exam, which was in a month or so. You couldn’t wait to be freed from the grasps of AP classes.

The bell rung and you put your textbook, calculator, and notebook all in your backpack before rushing out into the hallway. You couldn’t take the risk of being slow. Not only was there the rush of impatient high school students, but the idea of being approached by another peer about the video was tormenting you.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. When you pulled it out, you were met with a text from Riki.

riki XD : wat happend

You pocketed your phone again as you scrambled your way to your locker with the intent of stowing away your AP calculus textbook and calculator. You quickly arrived to your locker, putting in the code.

12-09-90

You knew it was bad, but since each locker didn’t automatically come with a lock and you had to provide your own, you got to pick the code. And yeah, it was Riki’s birthday, but what other six digit code would be that easy to remember?

You shook your head at yourself, opening your locker and putting your calculator and textbook in it. You grabbed your paper bagged lunch. The mere thought of having to run back across the school before lunch bell was Hell to you, so you grabbed it now.

Once the lunch was grabbed, you took the European history textbook out of your locker and stuffed it in your bag. The lunch was put in quickly after.

You scrambled to your next period, hoping that no one would mention the video to you.

Your balloon of hope was soon popped as another classmate, Danielle, approached you. She walked up to you immediately after the teacher had said to split into partnerships to work on an assignment.

“Hey, Y/N,” Danielle started, “I saw that video. Is everything okay? I’m sure people have been bothering you all day about it.”

You were caught off guard by the remark, expecting her to be yet another person to make fun of you for the altercation.

“Yeah,” you sighed, half-smiling at her, “I guess I am.”

“Okay,” she said, looking into your eyes, “you have some serious balls for cursing out Spider-Man for what he did. He totally deserved that, that was so cool of you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, “Thank you, but how’d you know that I cussed him out? The only video I saw was the one on eBaum’s World, and it was just the clip of him spilling the coffee on me.”

She gasped, “OMG, have you not seen the YouTube version? It’s like a whole minute long!”

You buried your face in your hands. Not only was there the clip of him spilling coffee, but apparently there was a version with the part where you cussed him out? You worried for your future; if colleges or jobs that you’d applied to or been accepted into see that, you’re done for.

“That is so embarrassing,” you said, muffled by your hands.

“It’s not that bad,” she replied, slipping her phone out of her pocket. She hid it under the desk and unlocked her device, pulling up the YouTube website. Danielle owned a new iPhone, and to say you were nearly seething with jealousy was an understatement. You couldn’t hold it against her, though, it just seemed like all of your peer’s parents were more well off than either of yours. It probably had to do with the fact that their parents were still together. That filled you with more jealousy than not having an iPhone ever would.

Danielle clicked on the search bar, typing in the words “Spider-Man spills coffee on girl” and quickly pulling up the video to show you.

She looked up in the teacher’s direction, who was miraculously turned around at the moment, and clicked on the video, turning down her volume.

The video was simple; it was the clip of the “amazing” hero ramming into your back side, you then whipping around, and then followed by the waterfall of curses that escaped your lips. Damn, you needed to chill.

“Holy shit,” you commented, smacking a hand on your forehead, “that’s bad.”

“It’s really not that bad,” she reassured.

“It really is.”

It really was. The view count was 2,045. How you managed to break out into “fame” at age eighteen was beyond you, especially with these circumstances. You would never live this down. You hid your face in your arms and groaned.

You pulled out your phone and sent Riki a text back:

you : i need 2 show u a vid @ lunch

You slid your phone back into your pocket and laughed dryly, “Danielle, this is horrible. I’ve done a great job of staying on the down-low my entire high school career, and I was doing so well. One month until we graduate and I feel like everything I’ve worked for has blown up in my face.”

“Don’t say that,” she grabbed your hand, “it’s really not that bad. It’ll blow over soon, and by graduation, you’ll probably have forgotten all about it.”

You breathed out. This was going to be the death of you.

a/n : aaaaaa

[theythembehavior]

Hello! I've heard your cry and offer a Hurt/Comfort idea/request!

Okay, how about Qiu and Tamarack react to MC, who had been a cheerful child throughout their childhood and early teenhood, beginning to break down from the hardship of becoming adults, but refuse to stop smiling or let others know about their struggles because they don't know what else to do...

"When my heart breaks (they never see it, never see it)

When my world shakes (I feel alive, I feel alive)

I don't play it safe (ooh), don't you know about me? (Uh-huh)

I could dance, I could dance, I could dance..."

'Dance The Night' By Dua Lipa

Hope that this was good enough!

*consumes your idea.* Love it @beawesome04

I know people have different experiences with school. As well that I slightly moved away from the fear of growing up to the fear of failing and/or not being good enough. However, I feel like those two fears deeply tie into each other. Regardless, I had so much fun writing this <3 Take care of yourself lovelies!

It was hard to believe Fall was coming again. Junior year could be arguably the hardest, depending on who you were. Most people kicked back and relaxed for senior year, but not for you. You were pushing yourself to the limit, perhaps a little bit beyond.

You were a bright student, school used to be easy for you. It's not that you knew everything, you just caught on quickly enough to make it seem you were great at everything. And it was clear how growing up thinking you could do everything has effected you.

Praise and rewards everywhere you turned. On shelves from any activity, awards from school, pictures of you on days of achievements, sometimes even stellar report cards. You used to feel great for all your achievements, now it was all different.

Highschool doesn't pat you on the back as easily as elementary and secondary school did. You had to work, not that you didn't but you had to work hard. Teacher's with different expectations, ideals, approaches, and styles. But that wasn't close to the root of the problem.

Reminding. The dreaded reminder you're going to be an adult soon, you'll be on your own. No one is going to praise you, help you, assist you, or teach you. You got 12 years to prepare yourself for the real work and you felt as if you had wasted 10 of those years.

You staked yourself on advanced placement classes and duel-enrollment. That's where you began to fall apart. Those past achievements only reminded you of how you were not achieving anymore, it felt like a fall from grace. You kept pushing yourself to be better than you could manage, and it was beginning to show. It became a habit to come to school early and have Renee help you with makeup to hide lack of sleep. Sometimes, she fixed up your hair and outfit while you did more school work.

You just left the counseling office after trying to schedule a meeting for awhile. One look at your grades and the counselor decided that absolutely jampacking your schedule full of duel and AP classes was the best idea for your future. Pushing the idea of college wasn't a problem. You could go or not go, that was easy enough considering you have already been reached out to by multiple through a program given by AP. No, it was the idea of having to leave home, to go somewhere new and learn a whole new area. You couldn't just go home to mom anymore, you had to help yourself. And you didn't know how.

The walk home was terrible, leaving you to wallow in your thoughts. The walk past that wall, that God damn wall. You wanted to tear it down for all it was worth. Break every trophy, every hand-made item, every damned certificate. You were not worth an area for everyone to see, not worth a space outside of your room.

The second you entered your room, you dropped the backpack on the floor. And room seemed to get more and more disgusting every single time you entered. Qiu said it wasn't bad as their own, Tamarack said it had it's own charm, Renee often often would comment on how she would clean for a granola bar, and mom only mentioned how she wouldn't mind washing your clothing (honestly all said "mess" seemed to be clothing) but you always felt terrible about it. But you didn't have time for that. You took out the commetically large binder full of all kinds of work. You started on it until a piercing headache overtook your senses. It hurt, but you had too much work to do, too much to get done to stop now.

Knocking on the door before it opened. Right there stood Qiu and Tamarack, you had forgotten you had agreed to go out to town with them today. You felt like a mess as your heart dropped about forgetting an agreement made between two people you deeply cared about. You immediately stood up, and tried to apologize profusely. When did you start crying? Was it just now or before?

You tried to make your apology but before you could get even three words in, Qiu made their way and gently covered your mouth.

"Quite. Don't apologize, we know you are, let's just put everything away and hang out." Qiu looked around. You looked down, mortified beyond belief. Everything was a mess, you were a mess. You never felt like this before. What happened to being capable? Being enough?

"If it makes you feel better, our AP project was pushed back a week!" Tamarack was so right, that did make you feel so much better. You could temporarily focus on other classes.

"Not today. This is hang out time." Qiu gently wacked you in the back of the head with a packet of work from the floor. Were you that readable? That work seemed to be due soon... Apparently, you were that readable as you learn when Qiu wacked you with it again.

"O-oh yeah! Granny got a movie for us from the redbox!" Tamarack gently lifted the flap of her satchel, presenting a new release. Well, as new and 3 months could possibly be.

"Let's clean up. We can all kill ourselves

The next few moments consisted of picking up around the room. Qiu throwing clothing into a corner, Tamarack was tidying thing around and helping you put away all the papers on the ground. The fact they knew your room said way too much about you. But it felt comforting that they knew you well. You hoped they were proud of you. You think they were from how both Qiu and Tamarack cared for you.

Qiu completely uprooted your bed of all it's blankets and pillows. Tamarack gave them a scowl, only response she got from Qiu was a shrug.

"Be glad I didn't take the sheet too."

"Might as well take the mattress woth you as well." You smiled.

Yeah, yeah this was good. You felt better. You still had work to do, that didn't change, but this? Not focusing on it for a change felt healthy. One or two missed assignments felt insignificant when given the chance to have out with the closest people in your life.

[utilitycaster]

@rowzeoli replied to your post “@rowzeoli replied to your post “Do you think part...”:

There's a lot to tackle on this so I'll do my best to cover it all! So I totally get where you're coming from and to be fair yes there are some things in old articles that I don't agree with any more in deeming people having done things "first" which is part of the issue of not having a collective historical memory around actual play as it moves so quickly. Most of the issue isn't that readership is down it's that AI and venture capitalism is destroying journalism

​

Hey, sorry for taking a bit to respond; it's been a hectic week and I wanted to give it some thought and time.

I'll start off with the good: I really do, again, appreciate you engaging here, and on the strength of that alone I am going to at least give Rascal's free articles a good solid chance for a while; I have been, admittedly, tarring it with the brush of a lot of frustrations (see below) and I know it's relatively new and still finding its place and should get a bit more of my patience. I also should note that while your article did hit on a lot of the patterns that have turned me - and no small amount of others - off of a lot of AP/TTRPG journalism it is by no means the worst example. The things you credited Burrow's End for are, admittedly, more obscure single-episode events within a huge body of work. Or in other words: there are bylines in the space that make me go "oh this is going to be bad" and yours is not one of them.

With that said: I'm sorry, but Polygon's bias is not a matter of time crunch or lack of funding. There is no way that a time crunch or lack of funding would consistently, over years (this was already word on the street at latest when EXU Calamity came out almost 2 years ago) result in a message of "D20 can do no wrong, and Critical Role rarely does right." If it were throwing out harsh criticism or glowing praise for a wide variety of shows, sure, that seems like it could come from not having a lot of time...but this goes beyond coincidence. It's a reputation that long precedes your entry into the field. As some others in the replies have noted, I might have written the most about it on Tumblr, but it's at this point not an uncommon observation. This also isn't an issue for other publications in a similar "nerd stuff" space - there's plenty of articles on, say, Dicebreaker or Comicbook.com that I don't care for, either because I disagree with the opinion or I think the analysis isn't really worthwhile, but those tend to at least have a mix of positive and critical articles about most shows. When I said you could treat Polygon articles like Madlibs, I meant it. And so I think it's great that you are no longer chasing "groundbreaking", for example, is not a solid ground for an article, but this also is showing me that even relatively new journalists are, very early on, starting with this exact formula. In some ways, that's more damning.

I do also want to add that I'm again, sympathetic to the lack of resources and to coming into a field with passionate and nitpicky fans who have been here for years. Not knowing about a single Critical Role one-shot from 2018 is something that I'd have been much more lenient about if it weren't hitting those repetitive notes of "D20 is great/this thing is groundbreaking/look at the production values." But the other article I posted, also from Polygon but not written by you, is, to be honest, pretty inexcusable. I get there's a lot of lost institutional memory...but either being unaware of, or ignoring the fact that there are a huge number of long-running actual play podcasts that play longform campaigns? That's pretty much on par, in terms of whether your audience trusts you, of the New York Times international news desk not being able to locate Russia on a map (though obviously with far less serious real-world ramifications). (The fact that this was written by a prominent actual play scholar meanwhile is like, I don't know, Neil DeGrasse Tyson not knowing how gravity works, but that's a separate topic).

And again, I get these are your colleagues. I have the luxury of being able to run my mouth without putting my livelihood at stake, and that's not true for people within the industry. I do not expect you to say anything ill about them, nor would I judge any specific individual for getting published in Polygon since I get that people are pitching to a number of sites so that they can get paid! But when I say "Polygon's AP/TTRPG coverage is at needs-a-change-of-leadership levels of bad" I am not alone in this, and it's something that has probably been true for easily 3+ years if not longer. Because it's one of the more prominent publications in the space (ironically, due to Justin McElroy of TAZ being a founder, and the fact that its videogame division is quite good and has had some viral videos, it had enviable name recognition among AP fans that it's only squandered since) it really is at a point where hitting that same formula in any AP journalism - claiming everything is groundbreaking, putting an emphasis on high production values, D20 good and CR bad - makes fans go "oh, more of this bullshit." I don't want to say you can't talk about these things - I definitely do not want to say that you cannot criticize Critical Role - but that specific well is has been poisoned for a long time. If someone hits these points it feels, whether or not it is true, that they're trying to be provocative by going against popular fan opinion, but are simultaneously just saying the same thing we've seen a million times before.

I believe wholeheartedly that from your perspective the competition is AI - and I don't want AI articles either. On the other hand, in terms of what I think fans who are in my position are turning to, it's not AI articles (I'm certainly not). If I want analysis, I'm probably, at this point, going to social media; I am not the only person who writes longform meta or analysis for fun, and I'll seek others who do out. I'm not personally a video essay person, but plenty are, and that's out there too. I'm not going there for reporting on news (I think the Dnd Shorts OGL debacle made it clear that actual journalists are very necessary) but yeah, if I want criticism or analysis? I'm going there instead, especially since there often is that missing institutional memory. If I do want journalism, at this point, some of the bigger shows are getting writeups in less niche publications, particularly Critical Role and D20, as is news of more major tabletop games. It's infrequent and it doesn't highlight indie works, but it tends to be, if nothing else, lacking in major errors or obvious bias. If I want to hear from cast members, at least four of the shows I watch or listen to have regular talkback shows, and Dropout regularly talks to AP/TTRPG figures on Adventuring Academy, and a lot of those shows take viewer questions. Which, again, probably not heartening to hear the competition is even tighter, but I guess my point is I hope it's possible, even with very limited resources, to move away from the above "novelty and production values above all" pattern because even that would do a lot of needed work to rebuild reader trust - and I'm going to be checking out Rascal in the hopes that it can.

[ohtobeleah]

No pressure but it feels like a missed opportunity to ask what Easter is like at Fe and Roosters house!

Terms of Endearment Masterlist

Let’s not pretend that Odette Dolan (Soon to be Bradshaw) isn’t the most spoiled little girl in the entire world, because she damn well is. Now that’s not in the way of, she gets what she wants when she wants spoiled. She’s spoiled in the sense that her parents absolutely go ape shit for holiday seasons. More important—Rooster goes ape shit. 

Easter is no exception—and although the Bradshaw household isn’t exactly religious or in tune with the significance of Easter to a large percentage of the world’s population, they do however—enjoy seeing their little girl full of wonder and awe at Christmas, on her birthday, at Easter Time and even Valentine’s Day—because let’s be real here for a minute people…..Bradley Bradshaw crushes the game at keeping the magic of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny alive until his children aren’t children any more. 

“I can’t wait to have to vacuum this flour up tomorrow after it’s been trampled all through the house.” You sighed as you organised Dot's Easter basket. Watching as Bradley stamped small bunny like footprints into flour he’d sprinkled from the front door to the dining table. 

“She’s gonna love it, look!” Bradley stood as he pulled a carrot he’d stolen from the fruit and veg crisper out of his pocket. Taking a rather over exaggerated bite. “The Easter Bunny is even gonna leave this strategically half eaten carrot behind on the floor because it might get Dot to eat her carrots.” You couldn’t help but to laugh at your husband's sly ways. “If carrots are good enough for the Easter Bunny they should be good enough for her.” 

“She doesn’t like orange fruit and veg Roosters, it's just a phase.” Dot had gone off carrots and oranges a few months ago. Apparently the orange in the food made her tummy hurt. The trend then extended to include cantaloupe and orange bell peppers, although Amilia had her trying to say rockmelon and capsicum because that’s what they call them in the land down under. 

“You. Enable. It.” Bradley leaned in over you as you folded the new set of pyjamas Dot was getting in her Easter basket this year. Along with some colouring books, some new texters, and some pink sunflower glasses to replace the ones Jake accidentally broke with his giant ass head. Smirking because you knew you did. “She’s gonna be eating carrot sticks by the end of the day.” 

“She’s gonna be running around with a stomach full of chocolate eggs, carrot sticks are going to be the last thing on her little mind.” You counted, putting the finishing touches into your daughter's Easter basket as you sat back, exhaling slowly as you rubbed your stomach. “Last Easter just the three of us.” 

Bradley stood before he rounded the corner of the table, placing gentle hands on your shoulders as he kneaded your aching shoulders. Knowing that you’d never say no to an impression massage. 

“She’s growing up so fast.” It was a fact that the pair of you weren’t comfortable with. “Where did that little two year old go?” You hummed in response as you felt your child kick at the sound of Bradley’s voice. Their daddy. Your husband and best friend. Your forever soulmate and love of your life. 

“She’s our big four year old now—“ In the comfortable silence of the night before Easter, you and Bradley both agreed that time was moving far too quickly. “Here, help me up, I’m done and still need to shower.” 

“I’ve got a few more things to set up.” Bradley replied as he helped you stand, watching as you waddled yourself toward the stairs that almost seemed like an impossible feat this far along in your pregnancy. You were ready to blow any day now. “I’ll meet you in bed?” 

“Okay, don’t go overboard, Bradshaw—Jake and Amilia are coming over for lunch tomorrow and I’ll want all that flour cleaned up before breakfast.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Bradley was just in awe of you, how much your body has changed to bring new life into the world. He was  in awe of the fact that even though you’d be through hell? You still manage to be this gentle and kind soul—the matriarch of the family he’d found. “Love you! I promise I won’t be far behind.” Bradley beamed as you turned to look at your husband over your shoulder from the first of many impossible steps. Why you two decided on purchasing a two story house while you were eight months pregnant you'd never understand. “Not too much mess, I just gotta hide the eggs.” 

The problem with most relationships was that people spent all their time looking for someone to grow old with. And although Rooster knew he’d have you till his dying days, he thought that the real thing people should be looking for was someone to stay a child with. 

So that’s why when Bradley knew you had waddled all the way up the stairs, he got to work hiding his four year olds Easter eggs in easy eye level nooks and crannies that she could easily spot. Only to then turn his attention to the few Easter eggs and gifts he’d gotten you. Hiding them around the house. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Woah!” The first thing Odette saw at a crispy 6am the next morning, was a single Easter Egg placed perfectly on her little night stand beside her bed. It had been dusted with icing sugar because Rooster knew she’d dip her finger into the scattering of white powder he used to make a tiny paw print in. “Mamma! Tooster!” She shot out of her bed in seconds, her bedroom door had been left ajar and the minute she saw the powered footprints in the hall along the hardwood floor? She screamed with so much joy it had you jolting awake. “Ahh! Mamma! The Easwer Bunny came!” 

“Dots awake.” You mumbled into your pillow. “Scissor paper rock me?” All Bradley did was hold up his hand in a fist, no words were needed. You both know the rules, best of one, no ifs or buts. You chuckle softly and count through. “Scissor, paper, rock—“ You paper loses to Roosters scissors and you groan. “Fuck, are you really gonna let your heavily pregnant wife get up and tend to your child at 6am?” 

“Your child Fe—“ Bradley mumbled as he rolled over to look at you with a smug look smeared across his face. “She’s all you—“ 

“I’m so sick of that fucking joke—“ You countered, smacking Bradley on the head with one of your pillows. “Fine, I’m going, but I’m spitting in your eggs.”

“Now I know your secret to making them so fluffy, the essence of Felix.” You couldn’t help but to laugh as you got up with a huff, waddling out and around the bed you shared with Bradley to see what all the commotion in the hallway was about. 

To your shock and horror the entire hallway was covered in a light dusting of flour, small but noticeable ’bunny’ prints led from Odette's room, down the hall, all the way down the stairs and over to the dining table where Rooster had left his half eaten carrot stick and out to the front patio. 

Not too much mess your ass. 

“Mama!! The bunny! Came!” Dot beamed as she grabbed your hand and squished her face into your swollen belly. “We gotta go look down staiws!” Under your breath as you waddled down the almost impossible steps with your daughter guiding you, you knew that the ‘Easter Bunny’ would never cum again if he didn’t clean this mess up before lunch time. 

“Oh my god Dotty look at this place!” You held a hand over your mouth as you got to the bottom of the stairs, there were floured paw prints all over the place and eggs galore. “Holy hell baby you better go get Rooster before he misses out on this.” 

Dot was off in seconds as you padded over to the empty basket next to your daughters. A note was the only thing inside. You couldn’t help but to smile as you read the note your husband had left you as you ran a protective hand across your baby bump. 

“Happy hunting ~ Your Easter Rooster.”

“Oh woah! Look at this place Dotty girl, what's in your basket?” Bradley beamed as he held his four year old daughter on his hip. Dodging the dusted bunny paw prints as he made his way over to where you stood by the baskets on the dining table. “Look Dotty, woah! New pyjamas and colouring books and texters too!” 

“I needed dose!” Dot giggled as she squirmed in Roosters grip before he put her down to rummage through her basket. “Thanks Mr Bunny!” 

“Funny—“ You turned to Bradley as he went to kiss your cheek but managed to catch the corner of your mouth. “I don’t ever remember the Easter Bunny being this messy.” 

“He may have gotten a little carried away.” Bradley grinned ear to ear. “But looks like he brought you some gifts this year too mama, but you gotta go on a hunt for them first.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore@thescarletknight2014@blindedbythelightt@averyhotchner@emma8895eb@blairfox04@caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87@akalei349@notjustsomeblonde@americaarse@avaleineandafryingpan@phoenix1388@xoxabs88xox@je-suis-prest-rachel@pono-pura-vida@rosiahills22@starset21@anarchyrising @caidi-paris @starkleila@criticalroleobssedperson@enchantingdreamergothprune@flrboyd@emma8895eb@endofdays56

[crownmemes]

Planet of the Apes Sequels Sentences

(Sentences from Planet of the Apes Sequels (1970-1973). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I'll tell you one thing that every good soldier knows: the only thing that counts in the end is power. Naked, merciless force."

"Are you so blind that you're unaware we're on the verge of a grave crisis?"

"What the hell would I have to say to a gorilla?"

"If they catch you, they will dissect you and kill you - in that order."

"I got here by accident. How did you get here?"

"You got it all wrong. Why would I want to spy on you?"

"Damn your hypocrisy!"

"I loathe bananas!"

"I did not call you mad! I merely asked if you were! And I repeat the question: are you mad?"

"I hate deceit!"

"There is a time for truth and a time, not for lies, but for silence."

"May I say something personal? I like you."

"I don't believe that we can withhold this extraordinary discovery from the world any longer."

"I think that time can only be fully understood by an observer with a godlike gift of infinite regression."

"Given the power to alter the future, do we have the right to use it?"

"Do you approve of assassination?"

"I'm glad I told the truth. I can't live with lies!"

"Nobody makes a fool out of my wife!"

"You have done enough to make me grateful to you forever."

"I hate those who try to alter destiny."

"Funny. Now that I know cigarettes won't be the thing to kill me, I don't enjoy them."

"This action is folly, and I wish to protest it in the strongest possible terms."

"Your protest has been duly noted."

"I thought you were a myth!"

"Violence prolongs hate, hate prolongs violence."

"By what right are you spilling blood?"

"I believe that when you truly learn to know and trust a person, you cannot help but like him."

"I want to see what my parents look like. I suppose every orphan does."

"What is the point in protecting yourself against a danger of which you have no knowledge in pursuit of a knowledge you do not possess?"

"You may be old, but you have a mind like a razor!"

"We are at best brave, and at worst mad to be here."

"Hasn't anyone explained to you that war is not a game?"

"Every Caesar must have his Brutus."

"Should one murder be avenged by another?"

"Tell me something: can we make the future what we wish?"

[yooo-gehn]

A late night rant about sex

A porn star once had an erectile dysfunction right in the middle of shooting porn, he just couldn't get it up, so you know what he did? The naked super sexy lady on top of him was just not arousing him, so he grapped his phone, and played his favorite porn clip, and shazam, he was back in the game. How crazy meta is that? A porn star needed porn to be sexually functional! Even when he knows exactly how unreal it is. I know it's easy to use this story to condemn porn, but actually screw that.

All I was thinking is damn, sex is never ever as simple as feeling aroused by mere naked bodies. It's a whole complicated very personal world we are taught to automatically feel ashamed of. It's a personal mood, taste, kink, type, fetish, and of course, it starts and ends in the mind. So much so that when it comes to turning yourself on, you can't do it because someone is naked and going down on you, you can only do it with seducing your specific mind with what it sexually craves.

But we are collectively and extremely sex starved that we become nations of hungry people eating the first thing they manage to put in their plate, for a starved person doesn't get to pick what they eat. They go for the bare minimum, or less. That porn star who couldn't get it up still have a better sex life than most people I know. We talk a lot about how bad porn is to the mind because it confirms our worldview, so nobody talks about how bad our actual sex life is, we are either masturbating alone as our little dirty secret, or we are denied our right to even admit we have personal nontraditional sexual cravings, cause you'd instantly be a filthy animal.

I read an article once in Psychology Today about how porn psychologically affects the sex life of married couples, bearing in mind we're Not talking about porn addicts who consume porn excessively, and you know what it basically said? The therapist didn't preach us about how porn automatically damages our sex life, but rather said what I always thought, that couples who had no problem with porn, found it arousing and helpful, and other couples who were uncomfortable with it, found it to be harmful, and consider it disloyalty if they found out their partner watches porn.

So your personal beliefs and preferences can make or break your sexual experience? And manifest itself physically? There's no "one ring that rules them all"? No ultimate manual or guideline that applies on everyone of us? Go figure.

You know, Napoleon once sent a letter to his wife saying "Home in three days, don't bathe", and it never grossed me out, in fact, it felt genuine, intimate sex as it should be, sex IS gross, we're fancy apes, who worry too much about looking our best, like it's a goddamn performance test. Like the brain doesn't fire bursts of electrical impulses from nowehere to nowehere during sex. Like it's not all about how ripe the moment is, how ripe your labia is, how ripe your cock is, how ripe your whole state of being is, and to be with a person who knows how to play the instrument of your body, cause they know, cause they made it safe for you to say, is sexier than every porn clip and every meaningless sex and every traditional soulless sex.

There's been a trend that looks down on passion cause it's a luxury for those who can afford it, missing the fact that just because something is out of reach, doesn't mean it's not important. We adapt to not having passionate lives by claiming it's silly to try to find our passions in life. But you know what eventually happens? We become a porn star doing his job and not be able to command his body to betray its nature. We become a porn star who sooner or later wouldn't be able to get it up.

[teojira]

On my hands and knees for some general headcannons for Koba, a fragile friendship forged from a hunt gone wrong or just mildly getting along like pissy siblings 😭. Your writings are so memorizing, and it's like eating a 5-star meal. All the kudos and love for you as my favorite pota writer

[General Koba drabble/ headcanons!] [Platonic]

Summary: Koba deals with you because he absolutely has to, not because he actually cares for you.

Warnings: Platonic Koba and Reader, Koba being a dick but that's canon.

A/N: THANK YOU SO SUCH KIND WORDS I TWIRLED MY HAIR??? this literally means so much to me, thank you :( I tried my best to incorporate both ideas you had! I hope this is good, Koba is kinda hard to write for and I am nervous lmfao.

Ohhh my fucking god, will he never let you rest.

Koba doesn't love humans, it is so very very very apparent in everything he does that he DOESN'T like you, he would let you drop dead in front of him without caring.

Imagine his shock and gal when he starts to actually form some kind of attachment to you. How bitter it makes him to think he can even have a somewhat positive thought about you.

It makes him want to claw his fur out, maybe even go blind in his other eye to get some damn sense into him. How dare you, and if he cared to use human curse words, he'd call you every name in the book.

He begrudgingly will help you learn how to hunt, and I mean begrudgingly. Caesar has to damn near hold the bonobo at gun point to get him to stop being so fucking hostile and just give you a chance.

He watches you from a tree as you hunt pitifully, the spear much too large for you to wield like apes do. It's pathetic really, watching you stumble like a baby elk with no sense of balance. You can't spear a single fish.

"Human...stupid." The Bonobo sneers, rolling his eyes after you continuously miss, he can see your face burn with what he's been told is embarrassment. Serves you right.

Koba has no actual plans on helping you, until he starts to see you throw your spear onto the forest floor with a thump, curling into yourself, hiding your face in your knees.

Great, now you're crying and he's gonna have to be the one to deal with it. Just, Great. Just what he wanted to deal with.

Koba is already mentally trying to prepare himself to get down and attempt to soothe those pitiful cries coming from you when he hears footsteps rapidly approaching.

You, being so caught up in your own world, don't realise a mountain lion is stalking you, but Koba does.

It's scary how fast he can move at his age and with his disabilities, he's down the tree and at your side before you even realize.

The growl he lets out startles you enough to break out of whatever trance you find yourself in, watching Koba plunge his own spear at the mountain lion, the large cat yowling when it's hit You can't help but let out a yelp of your own.

Koba puts more force, piercing the jagged rock deeper into its neck, breathing harshly from the extension.

The cat falls silent finally, Koba turning to you, staring down at you with a glower.

"....stupid."

Koba chooses to ignore how you look back at him with appreciation, he didnt do it for you, he did it for Caesar. Doesn't matter if it gives him a pleasant feeling deep in his core.

This starts you both off with a rocky 'friendship' between you and the old Bonobo.

He doesn't like that you seem to keep following him around the colony and very vocally tries to scare you off. Hell, he tries to pawn you off to Stone and Grey, but it's no use.

For some reason, you've decided that you'd make his existence even harder and make it a point to bug him.

He hates it. He hates you even more. But it's akin to having a dog, and he lets you know so.

"Like dog. Follow Koba." "That's rude." "...good."

He's such an asshole it's ridiculous. What do you see in him?

Koba eventually gets used to his new normal, antagonizing you just as much as you do him.

He's learned how to get away with fucking with you so that he doesn't get in trouble with Caesar or the others.

Fucker has pushed you into the lake more times than you can count and it makes him huff out laughter. It's all under the guise of being playful.

Jokes on him because you constantly will try and touch him, saying he has fleas or what not, only for him to growl at you when you pull back and stick up a middle finger towards his face. Peak sibling behavior tbh

Caesar sees you as a good thing for Koba, exposure to a human that isn't out to harm.

No matter what Koba claims, you're harmless. Everyone knows this.

They fight about it, Koba adamantly saying he was no part in caring for you, but when Caesar raises an eyebrow ridge, signing quickly that this isn't a discussion, Koba fumes.

Would rather drop dead than admit he misses your presence. If you decide to spend more time with Maurice or Rocket, he gets so pissy.

Koba will drag you away if you push him hard enough, grabbing you by your waist and dragging you. He doesn't care if you don't want him man handling you, oh well.

I know it in my heart that he yanks your hair to piss you off. He does it to get your attention. It's never for anything of importance, he just likes that it pisses you off.

"You can literally just chatter, and I'll hear it!"

The asshole just shrugs with one shoulder.

He's insufferable, and I hate him.

[anteroom-of-death]

Teacher's Pet part 3

Synopsis: The Doctor struggles with morality. The student is struggling. Both are tearing themselves up.

A/n: I'm sorry for the bit of pain. The next one should be a bit more pain, but it will get better soon. Also. These things are fun to bang out. Especially when you listen to dramatic early 2000s nu metal. Thank you all. Your response to this mean the world to me.

Utterly ashamed and indecent, the Doctor remarked to himself once (y/n) fled the office. He felt utterly indecent. Ashamed. He was shocked that even he could hold such an array of thoughts. Not that he didn’t have similar thoughts before. He had been married before. To multiple people, multiple times. He was the reason why the Virgin Queen wasn’t really a Virgin.

But to a student? No, he couldn’t. Even though this was a charade, he still felt bound to at least some of the rules a professor should follow…

And the scenarios his mind was running? Much more akin to something that his dear best enemy, locked in her Vault would have.

He kicked her out for her own good. Her obvious tone shift and body language change had clued him in to the fact that she picked up on it. The girl was very good at making connections, it seemed. Maybe not getting them in a correct or orderly manner. But she was no idiot. Despite what her brain, past educators, and experts had probably told her.

He knew all about various so-called learning disabilities and some honestly just seemed like evolutionary differences to give the species different roles throughout the tribes and flocks.

Once, before Rose. Before he swore to himself that he would run solo forevermore. He held the idea, the hypothesis: to take a random person from a random planet. Mold their life and bend it to his will. Make a perfect companion. One noble enough to save the day, but not stupid and caring enough to get themselves killed in an act of bravery. Like so many if his past ones.

He shuddered, thanking Rose in Pete’s world for saving him from himself…

But this one? He felt oddly returned to this idea. A perfect companion. This time shaped by her own insecurities. Not preconditions he would control. He admitted he was lonely.

Nardole and Missy didn’t really count.

He stopped himself there. Maybe Missy was rubbing off on him. Getting him to pry back into those darker, more primal urges.

He needed a breath of fresh air. A trip off-planet.

Just Missy’s influence, he shook himself as he meandered down to the mess hall to get a bit of scran before a trip to somewhere. Nothing more, nothing less. Relapse in it's most basic indulgences.

He found himself at the Eye of Orion. Just exactly what the Doctor ordered! Peace and solace. Stop what was shaking him up at the source.

Too bad that he was being plagued by thoughts of (y/n).

She was possessing him.

Clever, nervous, just a hint of something else. She came to the meeting with some sparkly gunk crusted to her eye corners and the residuals of make up being slapped on in layers.

The way she quickly diverted the topic when her work was mentioned slightly irked him. She didn’t elaborate, just a missed appointment and a shocked tone.

What did she do?

Another mystery girl to lure him out of his shell. The universe, in all of its infinite wisdom, loved tossing mystery women at him.

They always frustrated him to arousal. A stupid trait he felt he got from his days crushing over Missy when they were young lads. Back when he shielded everyone from the Drums until they drove him to madness and self-corruption.

Corruption…

That stupid past plot of his past self echoed again. It might be fun. She might be fairly easy to tip into it on her own accord.

He decided against it. Ultimately.

Missy’s influence. Damn it!

He leaned back on the patch of grass he was on. Trying to clear his mind. She was just another daft ape. Just a student for him to inspire to help along the way.

But her grins and demeanor wouldn’t leave him.

Her hunched over form, and the clanging of her jewelry and the way she used her hands to speak…

Was doing something to him. Awakening something he tried to kill.

He relaxed for a while more before returning. Nardole, of course, was exasperated that he went away. Especially without telling him beforehand…

He hadn’t felt this frantic since he was locked in the Confession Dial.

Back in his office, he had a queue of students waiting for Office Hours. Mainly droll questions about the mid-term project. (Mandatory by the university.) The other students sat in her seat, where she had spilled crumbs on. He engaged them. And got a kick out of them and their findings and research. There were a good batch of students in his classes this term.

The Doctor found delight in them and the thoughts of (y/n) went to back-burner.

Then Tuesday came. One of the two days the class (y/n) was in was.

He groaned.

Hopefully today whatever was abnormal faded. Maybe she’d not come. Some sort of survival instinct will have kicked in…

Of course. He wasn’t so lucky. He remembered her scribbled maths equations about her monetary investment in university. He doubted that she’d go and waste the nearly eighty pounds a singular class was costing her. It seemed out of character.

He, in bad faith, wished her ill enough to take off.

Too bad the universe rarely responded well to bargaining.

She slunk in in between the masses of people. As if to go incognito, to not draw his attention. She removed her notebook and got a pen out and slouched forward. He scanned the room as he opened up with his exciting build-upon on Thursday’s lecture. A poem from Robert Burns that tangentially related to the themes. She wasn’t making eye contact, instead she was chewing on the chain of one of her many necklaces. This particular one was the chain that held a pendant with a historical symbol. She was scribbling furiously. Her eyes squinted and she seemed to be muttering a tad bit under her breath. He didn’t want to admit how much he wanted to pry in. To hear. To understand. To respond. To feel.

“And fare thee weel, my only luve! And fare thee weel awhile! And I will come again, my luve, Though it were ten thousand mile.” He finished and then went on with a remark.

“Does the universe love us? Does it owe us?And if it does, why?” He opened up to the floor to discussion and debate.

Many responded, except for (y/n), who obviously was holding her tongue and trying to not make eye contact with anyone. Just focused in on writing and listening.

He could carve out a response from her.

“Miss (y/n’s surname)? What do you think, I think Braelynne made a fantastic point. Come, join us.”

(Y/n) spat out the chain and straightened up her posture. She had pen ink on her chin and looked, quite frankly like she’d leak tears.

She sniffled before speaking, a crack in her voice. “I think it’d be narcissistic to assume that the universe owes us anything. But does it love us? Maybe. It loves itself through us. Like, like, like, when we do tasks like help an elderly neighbor carry their groceries in. Or give a few coins to a homeless person. It’s the universe loving itself. Maybe it’s like when you drink something probiotic. To the germs in your gut…aren’t you the entire universe? I don’t know. I do think that thinking you, out of all creation, prioritizing yourself in the center of it….uhhh. Red flag!” She flustered, grabbing her pen and resuming the furious scratching she was making.

That gave the Doctor a world of insight to her brain, inner workings. Maybe she felt like she was owed something but held some remorse over these thoughts. It seemed conflicting in her punctuation and how hard she seemed to force the words out. Wise, beyond wise, but also leaving herself a tad bit shortsighted and a decided lack of grace.

Obviously she didn’t want to speak. Obviously she had plenty to occupy her mind with at that moment.

So he pursued via others, “Is it narcissistic to expect something when, by (y/n)’s standards, we’re bacteria and microbes in a greater gut system?”

Someone replied that it was reductive and put humans on the same levels as non-sentient life. That they had greater purposes. That the microbes’ lives were less vital than a human life. (Y/n) scrunched her nose in disgust at such a statement. Internal dissent.

Ah, he thought, very good. A measure of her morals.

He built on that. He opened up the topic, getting more opinions from the other student. Hoping she’d speak up…

He noticed (y/n) shoving her things into her bag and sniffling again. Maybe he did get what he earlier asked the universe for. Maybe she was sick. Maybe.

Ironic.

She made a beeline for the door, “Sorry. I have…an emergency.” She turned to him at the door. “I’ll get the notes from someone.” She promised. Her chest was beginning to visibly heave.

He nodded and she shot out of the room like a horse out of a gate.

[sakuraharuno156]

"I'm a feminist, that's why i hate a fictional character for not fitting into my idea of what a woman should be instead of the real existing male author who wrote her"

Woah, hold your horses!

It's all so wrong that I don't know where to start....

1) You should NEVER hate on real people for their creative freedom ✨️

You can hate Danzo or Hinata - you can't hate M.Kishimoto.

You can hate Moriarty - you can't hate A.C.Doyle.

You can hate Gale - you can't hate S. Collins.

You can hate any piece of fiction, but no, you cannot hate the author for creating something.

It's the exact reason people are scared to be creative. It's the exact reason why people do not post their art or fanfiction - because people like you can't separate art from the artist.

It's not like Kishimoto glorified r*ape, or i*cest, or p*dophilia. It's not like he hurt anyone. It's not like all of his female characters are shitty.

Kishimoto gave us feminist icons like:

Konan - a strong, important character who gave a run for his money to one of the strongest guys in the series. She had a real backstory. She is a fictional character who portrays a lifelike woman.

Tsunade - a god damn Hokage, the strongest woman of her generation. A real fighter with a real trauma. She had her problems, yet still she is everything. She is a fictional character who portrays a lifelike woman.

Temari - a strong person. She always called everyone on their bs. She grew up scared for her life and still went into the world to be great. She is a fictional character who portrays a lifelike woman.

Sakura - the best female character in Naruto. Realistic and important. Born to nothing, self-made junnin. Made her biggest insecurity into her biggest weapon. She is a fictional character who portrays a lifelike woman.

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Kishimoto made a strong female cast, so he, himself is not a women hater. He just made a shit character.

He is an author who made a piece of fiction that has parts that deserve some criticism.

He does NOT deserve any hate. You can joke about it like "omg I hate him for not making this happend 😭" and it's a character design that is not up to your liking, because "I wanted her to have long hair after time skip", but real hate?!

2) It's ok to critique something or even someone, BUT it's not ok to send hate to real people. Never. ✨️

"You hate wearing that exact pair of high heels? HOW ABOUT HATING ON THE DESIGNER INSTEAD?"

You see how nuclear it is?

How about making a review and warning people that it's an uncomfortable pair of shoes, BUT NOT BEING A D*CK ABOUT IT? 🤷‍♀️

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It's a childish and frankly disgusting behavior that I really DO hate (see? You can hate behavior, but you can't hate people).

Like those people (mainly Hinata fans - see which type of behavior that character perpetuates in real people?) hating on Jun Esaka for writing a novel.

FOR WRITING A NOVEL.

To the point she felt a need to ask them TO STOP.

That's disgusting. No.

You can hate a piece of fiction, you can hate a behavior, you can hate what it does to the world, BUT you can't hate real people.

3) Why in your mind, it would be feminism to hate on a real human being?

Feminism is not about hating people, it never was, never will be. There is no hate for real people in feminism. The end.

4) Hating a shitty fictional character for being pathetic and a sad excuse of a "woman" is true feminism. ✨️

Feminism is about wanting more for women. If there ever was the antichrist equivalent for feminism, like the "antifeminist" - it would be literally Hinata Hyuga 🤷‍♀️

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I'm not gonna repeat myself further because if you weren't able to understand it twice, there are two possible explanations:

You are incapable of understanding it in the way i'm explaining, and if that's the case - im sorry. I can't think of a way to explain it even clearer. You can always ask questions about things you don't understand or ask for clarification for certain phrases or examples that you don't understand. There is no shame in being too young to understand or something. BUT you have to ask for help instead of making false assumptions and trying to achieve... What?

You intentionally try not to understand so I can't help you. If you want to live in ignorance and your false narrative of what you want feminism to be - I'm sorry for you 🤷‍♀️

I hope you are just a young person, so you have time to grow out of this mindset because this one is ugly.

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Hating real people is awful, trying to make others hate on a real person is an incredibly ugly mindset 🤷‍♀️