#one of my roommates started sleep talking while I was reading and I nearly pissed myself

[the-wiggles]

Adding one Bartimus Crouch Jr to this list

If you told me a year ago that I’d be crying over the death of Evan rosier, I wouldn’t have believed it but here we are

[soulwillower]

semi-charming •  bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested:  Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :)    +      AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH     +     don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh  !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au, 

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional. 

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that. 

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake. 

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise. 

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door. 

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes. 

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either. 

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music." 

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off." 

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation. 

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding. 

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give. 

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in." 

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it. 

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him. 

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?" 

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms. 

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?" 

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person. 

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst. 

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg. 

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall. 

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!" 

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him. 

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either. 

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts. 

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet. 

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack." 

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf. 

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot. 

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you. 

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip. 

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane.  "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly. 

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth. 

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away. 

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid. 

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh. 

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from. 

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done." 

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated." 

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly. 

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are,  i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk. 

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out. 

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you. 

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you. 

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own.  "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving? 

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants. 

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes. 

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down. 

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate. 

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once. 

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure. 

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?" 

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to." 

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock. 

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back. 

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly. 

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan. 

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums. 

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out. 

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce. 

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building. 

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours. 

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

 "you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to. 

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already. 

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple. 

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours. 

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close. 

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters. 

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall. 

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous. 

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease. 

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him. 

tag list:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier  @sft-core @clownsloveyou  @moon-shine-baby  @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie  @decafcoffeew

[moronic-validity]

First Date (Kinda)- Billy Lenz

Note: Okay so like I patterned Billy’s speech after my own when I’m manic. I know it isn’t perfect to the character, but I wasn’t sure how else to do it...

There are also a lot of time jumps...

Warnings: uhhh interesting parenting choices, interesting life choices, threats of murder....accidental nearly 2k fic. 

The sorority moved out in a hurry after the murders and the school would not allow any students live there. The chances it would happen again were low, but not zero. Putting students back in that house would look bad.

The house went on the market fully furnished and your family got it for a steal, for cheaper than international tuition and four years of on campus housing. Their only rule for the house was that you paid the utilities and for any repairs, other than that, good luck in Canada.

Everything was fine for the first few months, classes went well enough. November came and went, and suddenly it was December. You knew the history of the house so you were a bit gun-shy to put up decorations.

Then the phone calls started.

Pretty piggy this, Billy that, something about your cunt mixed in. You rolled your eyes.

“Hey dude, I know the transcripts are like public info now or whatever, but please get some original content,” and with that, you hung up on him.

The next call was heavy breathing. Your eyes hit the back of your skull and you decided to pant into the phone as a reply before hanging up.

Call three was the one that got your attention. The caller was silent and you were near certain the line went dead.

“I’m going to kill you.”

You blinked a few times, processing the information. It wasn’t the fact he told you he was going to kill you with a level of certainty reserved for phrases like ‘2+2=4’. It was the fact that despite the phone damn near back on the receiver, you heard him loud and clear.

He was in the house.

You cursed yourself up and down for moving into the stupid house. You cursed yourself twice over for not checking all the locks.

You could’ve run, but you had drawn the conclusion that he was close enough to nix that. You also knew he was close enough to hear it if you tried calling the police, and you knew they wouldn’t make it in time anyway.  Instead you calmly picked up the phone and clicked redial then call.

A phone rang upstairs.

Billy wasn’t expecting his phone to ring. He stared at the Nokia in his hand. He called people; people didn’t call him.

Then it stopped ringing.

“Billy?” You asked cautiously, remembering his name from the earlier, expletive filled rant. You took his silence as confirmation, “Billy, I know you’re upstairs.”

Billy shuffled in place. He wasn’t used to this, not at all.

“Hey,” you said, snapping him back to the one-sided confirmation, “it’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra, I have plenty of blankets down here. I’m going to put some of them on the stairs, then I’m going to make myself some adult hot chocolate. If you’re going to kill me, could you wait until I’m drunk?” You hung up the phone and, as you told Billy you would, placed a few thicker blankets on the stairs. You walked into the kitchen and filled a mug with water and popped it in the microwave.

You pulled out your phone and sent a few texts to your parents, wishing them a merry Christmas and letting them know that you regret not spending the money for a plane ticket home. You felt the tears well up. God, these were going to be your final words. Nothing overly profound, just a wish to be back in your childhood home.

The microwave beeped and you wiped the tears out of your eyes. You added the powdered hot chocolate mix and turned around to grab your bottle of vanilla vodka. You were met with a fairly lanky man standing a bit too close for comfort.

The only thing in the situation that brought you peace was that he couldn’t hurt you while his hands were occupied, focused on keeping your grey blanket wrapped around his shoulders.  

You two stared at each other for a moment or two before he broke the silence.

“Want some,” he nodded at the hot chocolate in your hands.

You stared at him a second longer before nodding.

“Want vodka in yours?” You asked. He shook his head no, like a dog trying to dry itself.

You filled a second mug with water and heated it up the same way you did yours. The second you had it in the microwave, you turned back to face the stranger at your table.

“So..” you started, watching him tap his foot, twiddle his thumbs, and periodically twitch, “are you still planning on killing me?”

“No no no, Bibibilly,” he took a deep breath and started over, “No, Billy isn’t goigoing to kill you.” He went back to paying attention to his thumbs.

You nodded slowly, unsure if you believed him or not. The microwave beeped and you took his mug out, quickly mixing him a normal hot chocolate. You pulled some whipped cream from the fridge and sprayed a generous amount onto his drink then placed it on the counter in front of him. You thought about it, decided to forgo the alcohol, and grant yourself a generous amount of whipped cream as well.

You turned back to him after fixing your drink, only to find him gone with your mug.

You knew you probably wouldn’t be sleeping, but for some reason, you also couldn’t bring yourself to call the cops. Your therapist was going to be thera-pissed when/if you told her.

Billy was perched at the top of the stairs, sipping the drink you made him. He wasn’t sure when he decided he wouldn’t kill you, but he wasn’t going to. He adjusted the blanket, your blanket, around his shoulders. He flipped open his phone and called you.

“Yes Billy?” you answered the phone.

He was breathing heavily into the phone, then mumbled a single word. Stairs. Then he hung up the phone.

You walked to the bottom of the stairs and saw where he had set down the now empty mug. You smiled to yourself.

Billy lived in your house for weeks. You only knew he was there when he would call you with single word requests. They ranged from requests for blankets to trying to bargain with you for hot chocolate.

Late January, you decided to set up a bedroom for your ‘roommate’. There were plenty of rooms and you didn’t want him getting sick in the attic and then giving it to you when you two did see each other.

Billy’s phone rang once before he picked it up.

“Come on downstairs,” you told him, not waiting for a response before hanging up.

He padded down the stairs, wearing one of your sweatshirts that you thought went missing out of the wash. He rounded the corner, down one of the hallways filled with rooms. That’s where he saw you, shifting foot to foot, clearly excited about something.

He looked into the room and saw the bed was made, a mug on the dresser, and a pillow -one he recognized from your own bed- laying at the head of this other one.

“It’s for you,” you explained, doing another grand sweeping motion. “I don’t want you sleeping in the attic anymore, it’s too cold up there, you’ll catch your death and give it to me.”  

Billy was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure how to process this one. He looked from the bed to you, then back to the bed, then locked his eyes on you again, trying to read your mind.

You tried to read the look on Billy’s face. He was squinting at you like he was trying to work all of this out. Then he latched onto you, hugging you tighter than was comfortable. You accepted his affection and wrapped your arms around him.

Once he let go, he started rambling through different expletives and went to explore his new room. You leaned against his door frame and watched.  

The rest of January went, Billy proved to actually be a solid roommate, often doing the dishes or sweeping when you were in class.

You came home in a horrible mood February 13th, it wasn’t like you had a partner to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, but it didn’t stop you from being pissed that you would be spending it alone with Netflix.

Whatever, it’s some commercial bullshit holiday to convince people to spend money for no good fucking reason.

As pissed as you were, you were careful not to slam and doors, well aware that it had a tendency to throw Billy into a spiral.

Billy watched you come in and he could feel the frustration radiating off of you.

You flashed him an unconvincing smile, then walked into your room and shut the door.

Billy did not like that one bit. He went into the kitchen and mirrored your motions from the night you two met, making hot chocolate with plenty of whipped cream. He carried the two mugs to your room and knocked on the door with his foot.

You opened the door and the first thing he noticed was that your eyes were red. You had been crying. Billy was always more used to loud and violent anger, but yours was quiet and you did your best to keep it to yourself. You turned around and sat cross-legged at the head of your bed, clutching a pillow.

He set the drinks down on the dresser and sat across from you on your bed, mirroring your position.

“is [y/n] okay?” he asked, probably louder than he meant to.

You sat silently before bursting into tears and rambling all of your problems to him. He sat and listened, fidgeting every few seconds, but that was more than normal for him.

He did his best to pay attention and he understood that it was less about being lonely and more about feeling alone.

He got up off the bed and brought you the drink he made and put the mug into your hands. You stopped talking and took a long drink of the now lukewarm hot chocolate.

He watched you drink intently, tapping the sides of his own mug.

“Thank you” you set the drink down on the cluttered table next to your bed and you leaned against him, resting your head on his hunched shoulder.

[ajaviary]

Hi boo! I wanted to take part in your event if that's okay! I'd like the character(s) to be a surprise and I'm also completely open to poly ships, love them, even! I'm Sunny, She/Her. I'm the good student type, very focused on my studies, determined and ambitious, but as soon as I get out of class, I love the unexpected, the unknown, the adventures. As much as I like planning my far ahead future, I really enjoy not knowing what tomorrow will bring, like buying random plane tickets and leaving on my own without a dime in my pocket. I spend most of my time reading, writing, studying, traveling whenever I can. My love languages would be words of affirmation and physical touch. Tell me if you need more info, thank you so much for this event ❤️

MHA Match up - Touya Todoroki/Dabi X Keigo Tamaki x Reader (College AU)

Summary: You’ve been hitting the books a little too hard lately, studying for finals like your life depended on it and maybe it did. Touya was amazingly helpful, being your study buddy throughout the whole ordeal. It helped that he was a year above you, he had already been there and done that with a lot of the Gen Ed courses you were taking. Keigo was far more relaxed about the finals, preferring not to stress over them, but it was easy for him to say, he picked up on things so easily and his photographic memory did him so many favors. It came in handy in other ways too. While Dabi was your study buddy, Keigo was the one taking care of you both, feeding you, making sure you guys did find your way to your bed after you just couldn’t stay up any longer. You wouldn’t have believed that Keigo’s carefree attitude would rub off on either one of you but now that finals are over the three of you were off on a surprise adventure that was all Dabi’s idea.

Word Count: 3282

A/N: Thank you so much for joining my Fall in Love Event! I hope you like how this has played out! I really love the dynamic between them. Thanks again!

|~|

You place your feet on the dashboard, your bare feet wiggling as you’d removed your sandals, this unplanned road trip was just what you needed after the dreaded finals week was officially over! It couldn’t have ended at a better time. You’d been ready to crawl into bed and sleep the moment you returned to your apartment. Those plans were derailed obviously, but you knew something was up as you’d been heading toward the bus stop, you’d left your car because Touya had dropped you off for your last exam that morning before he headed to work. Keigo had been still asleep in your bed when you both had been getting ready. To be fair, that man had the world's worst sleep schedule.

Warm fingers slid into your own, you stopped walking so quickly that Dabi had almost knocked you off your feet, his low growl in your ear as he curled his arm around your middle to keep you on your feet was well worth his irritation as you turned to look up at him. “I thought you were working!” You exclaim not at all bothered by the fact that a few of the college kids leaving have to weave around you both, but you don’t care. Your attention was all for him.

His fingers squeeze your own a little tighter his own way of telling you he’s not happy about the earphones in your ears, it was one of the reasons you hadn’t heard him call your name when you’d left the Science Building. He’d been waiting to catch you, but he’d just missed you having gotten taught up in a conversation with Tomura and Toga, when they had spotted him waiting for you. Getting the petite blonde to stop talking was nearly impossible. Thus he’d cut her off and told him he’d catch them later as he’d seen you leave through the crowd.

Touya was the one always harping on you about being aware of your surroundings. It was a safety thing, he was just trying to protect you. He knew some horrible things happened on College Campuses and he didn’t want any of those to happen to you, it was one of the reasons usually Keigo or himself would meet you outside your late night classes. It also said that he didn’t want to have an argument about them.

“I took a few days off -” He started but was immediately cut off as your hand raised to press your wrist against his forehead, checking to make sure he wasn’t sick. He looked a little flushed along the cheeks as your warm skin pressed against his forehead reminds him of what his mom used to do, when he was little. You’re much more attractive for worrying about him. Not that he doesn’t think he’s mom was cute, he does, but you're one of the ones he wants to spend the rest of his life with, so it’s different. That was another conversation to be had later, but he’d been working a lot of extra hours lately for something special, something you and Keigo weren’t aware of just why he was doing it, but Keigo knew something was up, that golden boy didn’t miss a damn thing and he was pretty sure he was snooping around his room when he’d been out.

“I’m fine,” he told you seriously, the scowl on his lips made you slid up on your tiptoes and plant a kiss on at the edge of his lips, just to hear him give a low growl as he curled his arm around your back and claim your mouth for a proper kiss, swallowing down your laughter and loving the feeling of your fingers in his hair. Yeah this was exactly where he wanted to be.

“Alright, Alright,” You tell him as you break away. “So why the time off?” The two of you had resumed walking as he led you toward his car. “It’s a surprise,” he told her with a grin, watching your face morph into a pout at the fact that he wasn’t going to tell you. Dabi already slid into the driver's seat by the time you stepped off the curb after shooting a hurried text to Keigo asking him if he knew what the surprise was. His only response was a winking emoji face which only caused you to round on the car to the passenger seat with an irritated huff. You hated being out of the loop when the guys planned things without you. It was a great little bonding time for them as they loved to tease you over what you didn’t know. You got them back though in ways that neither would ever forget.

“Don’t pout Princess,” Dabi told you with a smirk as he shot you a glance as he backed out of the parking spot and began to head toward the apartment you all shared. He wouldn’t be the first to admit the relationship the three of you had was a little odd, roommates turned shared lovers was not something that could easily be explained, but you didn’t need any labels, there was no jealousy in your relationship and things were usually open and relaxed, but today was the exception, it had to be as the surprise was for you and he refused to tell you, he was stubborn like that.

You round on him as he stops at a red light, you’d been shooting a flurry of texts back and forth with Keigo, Dabi knew because he could see the way your thumbs were flying from his peripheral. He expected you to start pestering him with questions so when you didn’t, he let his teeth sink into his lower lip, scraping his teeth over his own lip piercing as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. He didn’t want to fight with you, but the silent treatment was making him antsy. “Baby,” You ask him, as you lean over the console, your hand pressing the rest of your body toward him, this position gives you too much close contact with placing your lips so close to his ear. “Will you please tell me where we’re going?”

Touya shot you a glance with his bright blue eyes slamming to the light as he waited for it to turn green. It would turn green soon, he was sure of it. “Touya,” you ask softly, he can hear the smile in your voice as you know you’re about to get him to crack. His sigh of defeat is music to your ears as you lean back in your seat with a satisfied grin sliding along your lips. “So -” You start, letting the word drag on, as he rubs his free hand along the side of his neck where your breath had fanned over him, you did that on purpose you knew all his weak spots. “Where are we going?” you ask him again, waiting expectantly. There was no way your plan would fail you.

He had just turned into the parking lot of the apartment and pulled into one of the spots as he shut off the car and pulled his keys from the ignition. “Do you really want to know?” he asked you as he clicked the doors to unlock, he cast you a sideways glance, you didn’t catch the smirk that slid along his lips. “Yes!” You can’t help but exclaim as you throw up your hands as if that’s the most obvious answer. “We are going on a road trip,” he kept this voice as uninterested as possible as he got out of the car and closed the door, able to hear your scream of frustration before you had even opened your door. His laughter that you could hear as he walked away, should not have caused you to smile a little, you were supposed to be mad at him!

He wasn’t running from you, but his long strides were taking him further and further away from you. He let his fingers drag through Keigo’s hair as the other had been loading some bags into his SUV. You guys were taking his vehicle because it was going to be far more comfortable to ride in than his two door Mustang. “She’s all yours Hawkeye,” he told him. Keigo curled his fingers into his shirt and hauled his mouth down to his own for a quick kiss, not about to let him disappear that easily. Dabi let his fingers curl along his shoulder before he pushed away from him. “How pissed is she?” Keigo wondered his gaze darting to where you were still sitting in the passenger seat of the car. “Very,” Dabi told him with a chuckle before he disappeared into the apartment to make sure they weren’t forgetting anything and he had some extra things to pack up away from prying eyes.

Keigo watched you for a moment as you slammed the car door shut, only to stare for a moment at your bag on the floorboard and have to open the car door again to get it out, so your attempt at proving your point was lost. He chuckled to himself, his fingers dragging forward through his blonde locks to fix them, as he came over to you, your bag hanging between your fingers. He took your bag and slung it over his shoulder as he curled his arms around you from behind his chin resting on your shoulder as he nuzzled against your neck. “What’s wrong Songbird?” he asked softly, his voice low and soothing, but he already knew, he knew how much you hated not being in the loop.

“Keigo,” you mutter his name, a soft prayer on your lips as you let your body sink against his own, all solid muscle and comfort. “He’s such an asshole,” you grumble and you can feel the Blonde smirk against your neck as he tilts his head, a single golden eye raising to peer up at you. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he tells you with a chuckle, his fingers digging against your sides and he’s tickling you before you can even truly suck in a breath to comment on his obvious bullshit answer. You’re laughter is filling the apartment parking lot and can do nothing more than wiggling against him, attempting to break free, but it’s half hearted as he drags you back against his chest and after a few more moments of torturing you, he’s stopped with the dragging of his fingers into your sides and they instead stroke along your sides in a tender moment of domestic bliss.

“How was your Exam?” he asks gently, enjoying the feeling of you in his arms. He won’t ever admit that he’s been a little left out given all the time Finals have taken up, but he understands; he’s just feeling lonely. Your fingers move to rest atop his much larger ones and you let your thumbs brush over his knuckles and he presses a kiss against your neck as he waits for your answer, his hip shifting to press against Dabi’s Mustang. “I think it went well, but just glad it’s over you know?” you told him and for a moment you let your head fall back against his chest. “Me too,” he can’t help but agree as he shifts your stance; he presses your back against the car as his mouth claims your own, his tongue sliding along your lower lip and your fingers tighten on his forearms as you feel his tongue enter your mouth.

Some time in between the lazy kisses between you two Touya had returned and he stood leaning over the open driver side door of Keigo’s SUV watching the two of you. Some of his friends wondered how his relationship revolved around two people, one of them another guy no less, some wondered how the three of you got along like you did, many wondered if jealousy would have played a role, the answer was no, not really. It might have been if Keigo wasn’t interested in him too. He knew how lucky he was. The love each of you felt for each other was equal, neither stood above the other as it should be. He might have continued to watch the two of you if it wasn’t for the fact, they did need to get on the road. He enjoyed watching the two of you. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t tease you two a little, better him than your damn nosy neighbors. You know the ones who had their opinions ready to pass out, no matter if you asked for it or not. He just didn’t like to share the two of you with anyone.

He whistled, the sound sharp and clear, one of those wolf whistles and Keigo knows it’s him and he’s also one of the more observant, so he’s very aware of the fact that he’s watching them. “Let’s put on a show for him, wadda ya say?” he murmured in your ear. Your low chuckle is the only answer he gets before your arms curl around his neck and press your lips against his own and he hooks his arms easily along your legs and your legs curl around his waist, but your breaking the kiss and resting your cheek on your arm that’s still curled along his neck over his shoulder as your gaze is on Touya’s lingering form.

You stick your tongue out at Dabi, aware by his scowl as his gaze sweeps the apartment lot, that he doesn’t like the fact that you two are being so chummy in public. He’s such a sucker for keeping you both safe, but his protective nature isn’t something that truly bothers either of you. “Do you know where we’re going?” you ask Keigo as he walks with you easily across the lot toward the car. “Not really, but he’s pretty tight-lipped about where, but he told me to take a few days off work about three weeks ago,” he told you honestly. “Wherever we’re going he wanted it to be a surprise,” he flashed Touya a bright grin as he stuck his tongue out at him as he took his time getting to the SUV. “This sort of adventure isn’t usually his thing, I’d wager this is for you,” he admitted to you softly.

Your fingers press against his shoulders as you lean back in his arms, feeling his other hand travel up higher on your back to accommodate your shift of weight without any sign of discomfort. Your men had no issues carrying you at all. He doesn’t miss the way your eyes fill with guilt and regret for getting so angry with him when Dabi had only been wanting to do something nice for you, to surprise you. He loosened his hold on you and you slid to the ground at the front of his vehicle. His fingers travel along your shoulder before he’s disappearing into the back of the car, your bag safely being stowed away. He’s giving you two a moment to clear the air before the trip. That didn’t mean he wasn’t being nosy about it, the blonde was leaning his elbows on the console from the back seat, his shoulders touching the front seats as he watched you move toward their dark haired Prince.

Touya frowned as you moved around the vehicle and ate up the distance toward him. He couldn’t see your face because the wind had blown your hair in front of your face, but he could see the tension in your shoulders, he caught the tremble of your lower lip. He sucked in a breath your name, a soft question on his lips, his blue eyes concerned. You slid your arms around his waist and he curled his arms around you without needing conscious thought. As your cheek presses against his chest, your ear over his heart listening to its rapid cadence. He can feel your fingers curl along the fabric of his shirt across his toned stomach. “I shouldn’t have gotten so mad earlier.” He closes his eyes with a sigh as his arms tighten around you, before he places a soft kiss on your temple. “You know it’s no big deal,” he says gently, hoping to reassure you and when your hold only tightens, he knew he’d have to go another route to get you to see that it wasn’t a big deal. “I love riling you up,” he can’t help but tease with a sexy chuckle, his fingers traveling up and down your back in light scratching motions. “You’re cute when you're angry,” he can’t help but continue, feeling the way your body tenses against his own. As you shove against his chest and his hold only tightens on you as he claims your mouth with his own, his hand cupping your neck as he bends you back as he deepens the kiss and your fingers curl on the fabric of his jacket.

Keigo shifts his body till he’s half way on the console of the car, he’s just as bad as Touya with watching you both. “As hot as this is we should probably hit the road or we’ll never leave the apartment,” he calls out, as Dabi sets you back on your feet, his palm cupping your cheek, his fingers curling along your neck for a moment over your racing pulse. “I’ll give you a hint (Y/N), you’ve been there before and loved it,” Dabi told you before he directed you into the SUV, you were going to go around, but instead he directs you to the drivers side and you scoot over the console Keigo has vacated and slide into the passenger seat, you look down to see your sandals on the floorboard and you smile softly at the gesture as you change out of your shoes and slip on your comfy sandals and expose your painted toes as you lean back against the seat. “I think I’ll let this be a surprise,” you tell them both watching as Touya starts up the car and you lean your seat back a little more your arm stretching up over the head rest and Keigo laces his fingers with yours from the back and you other hand reaches over to across the console and Touya’s fingers curl with your own as he begins the start of your adventurous trip.

[cenestpasmoi-bechloe]

As I Lost My Heart in You

When you’re 16, initials of your soulmate appears on your wrist.It varies by person, but everyone usually spends time trying to find theirs.  It doesn’t always mean that there’s going to be a relationship, sometimes you spend your whole life trying to find your soulmate. 

Title from Mariah Carey's Underneath the Stars.

Gifted to @177-8 for the Pitch Perfect Fandom Drive!

Thank you for contributing!

I hope you enjoy it and I apologize for taking so long!!

For more info on how to help, visit the

@ppfandomdrive

page.

Read on Ao3 

Beca Mitchell got hers the week of her 16th birthday. She didn’t believe in soulmates and initials. Her dad and her mom had their initials, but they had gotten divorced, her mom died of cancer, and while she was fighting it, her dad had found his ‘soulmate’. She couldn’t forgive her father for ding that to her mother.  But she had gotten her initials whether she liked them or not, two letters, CB in cursive.

By that time, she had figured that she was gay, and she had dated a few people.

Her first girlfriend, was Juliana Taylor, but they had broken up, just because they weren’t feeling ‘it’ anymore. Juliana had BM on her wrist, but it probably wasn't her anyways.

She’d decided she’d give boys a try when Conner Basin asked her out. It was less of a date and more of a hangout with a bro, but she had figured he wasn’t the one either, after he had criticized Beca’s favorite video game. He had said the graphics were bad, and that the settings weren’t enough. Beca had called for her friend Stacie to come pick her up at the mall right away, which she did, with her flavor of the week, Jesse Owens.

Boys were a no-go.

Two years later, she was off to college, Barden University, full ride by her father, who is a faculty at Barden. Stacie went along with her, but with a full ride scholarship with her amazing high school grades. Barden had a weird rule about roommates, where everyone had their roommates select randomly by the housing office. That meant that she couldn’t room with Stacie, and she was bunked with Kimmy-Jin, the international student from Korea. Stacie had been roomed with a girl named Alisha, who stacie couldn’t stand. Stacie was literally trying to find a sorority just for their housing.  

Chloe Beale had gotten her initials on her 16th birthday. She didn’t have one before her party, but somehow had one when she took a shower that night. It was a BM in bold letters. She had tried hard to find her soulmate, but couldn’t find anyone that was the ‘one’. She had dated a Bobby Markham, but his birth name was Robert, which made his initials RM, thus making it impossible for him to be her soulmate. But where was the rush anyways? She was still 17. She had college plus a few more years to figure out this whole soulmate thing.

She was off to Barden which had an amazing pre-vetrenary program. She met her best friend, Aubrey Posen during her first year biology class, and they had joined the Barden Bellas together soon after. She started dating Bay Matthews, a boy going to Georgia State at a party during the summer, but had broken up due to him being very possessive.

She had worked hard in the Bellas until her junior year, the senior Bellas that year were a bitch. The captain, Alice was the worst of them all. She bossed everyone around, and made Aubrey and Chloe do all the hard work. She was sick and tired of being bossed around like disposable objects. She had been so happy when the seniors graduated and they were finally the leaders of the group. She and Aubrey had decided to become co-captains instead of closing one leader for their group. After Aubrey and the puke incident, they were out of members and desperate to get freshmen on their team.  During the activities fair on the quad, they had to ask so many girls to join,  they couldn’t keep track. Although their determination, not a lot of people seemed to be interested. Chloe had almost given up when a beautiful brunette had walked past, not interested at first, but had taken their flier.  She had said that acapella was lame, and that she didn’t even sing. That made Aubrey nearly puke, but Chloe had hope.

One day, she’s taking a shower, actually, hooking up in the shower with her flavor of the month or two, Tom, when she hears Davis Guetta’s Titanium sung by a beautiful voice. She stops mid  kiss and walks out of her stall to try to find the owner of her beautiful voice.

“You can sing!” She’s surprised to see the brunette she had just seen at the activities fair in the afternoon.

“Dude!” She closes the curtains, but Chloe opens them back and asks her about how high her belt goes, and about how she should Jon the Bellas.

They sing together, and Chloe leaves the brunette’s shower stall with her boy toy.  What she realizes is that she gad forgotten to ask her her name. All she had managed to see was the brunettes initials on her wrist, which had her initials, CB.

The day of the audition comes, and the brunette decides to arrive at the audition, and sings a song with cups at the end. She can tell that Aubrey is pissed at the fact that she was the best in all of the auditions, and Chloe convinces Aubrey to let her join the Bellas.

After the audition, she finds out that the brunette’s name is Beca Mitchell from the papers Chloe had asked her to fill out.

Beca Mitchell. Chloe’s already so interested in her.

They start with 10 girls on invitation night. The next day, two girls are dismissed, breaking their Bellas promise of not sleeping with a Treblemaker.

Beca didn’t think that shed be joining a female acapella group, and actually taking part in it. Her dad had told her that if she tried her first year, and she still wanted to become a DJ in LA despite trying hard to participate in college life, that he’d let her. That was the biggest reason that she had joined the Bellas, and second being that Chloe, the girl who had caught her at the activities fair, and barged into her shower, was kind of hot. Maybe some hot girl motivation couldn’t hurt. Right?

After the incident at the Semi-finals of the ICCAs, she was definitely getting banned from the group. They had fallen in third place after Beca had sung bulletproof during their set. Aubrey had gotten angry, and she had gotten accused of sleeping with Jesse by her. She was for sure banned from the group.

Thats what she thought, when she got a message from Chloe during the break. The Bellas were back in the Finals, and that she wanted Beca to join the practice on Monday. She thought she was going to be banned, so the message took her by surprise, but talking it through with her dad, she had decided she would go back to practice.

She walks into the auditorium 15 minutes late, when Aubrey is puking her head off, and all the girls are trying to get ahold of the pitch pipe.

She stops the whole argument, and the group shares an amazing moment and the next second, Aubreys tossing her pitch pipe over to Beca. She mis-catches it, and it lands in the pile of puke. Gross.

They head to the pool and have an impromptu mashup session where they find their harmony. They all hug, and Beca somehow catches a glance at Chloes wrist, which says BM. She tries to shake it off of her mind, but she fails.

Chloe had a BM on her wrist, and Beca has a CB. Could this mean that they could be soulmates? But Chloe hasn’t ever said that she was gay, and didn’t she have a boyfriend in the shower that day?

Beca tries to forget.

She really tries.

Beca didn’t believe in soulmates. At least that’s what she had thought. Right?

When she gets back to her dorm after practice one day, she tries to work on her mixes.  She can’t seem to concentrate on anything. Chloe had looked at her more than usual, and Beca was getting nervous. Did she have something to say to her?  Had she done something wrong?

Thats when she gets a knock on the door. Its usually Kimmy-Jin’s friends, so she lets the girl answer it, but to her surprise, what she hears next is a voice that belongs to Chloe.

“Hey Beca. Can I talk to you for a second?” She asks, and Beca looks at her from her desk.

“Yeah. Sure. What’s up?”

Chloe frowns, “Outside maybe?” Beca nods, getting up and walking out the room.

“What’s  up?” Beca asks the ginger as she walks down the hall, and out the door, and she knows she’s heading to the Bellas house. The Bellas had a house, the house Tri Delta had used before moving to a new buildings. It was basically a sorority house, and they were allowed to move in from sophomore year.

“What’s up with you? You’re acting strange lately. “ Chloe says to her.

Beca shrugs. “Its nothing.  N-nothing in general. “ She answers nervously.

“You saw my initials didn’t you?”

Shit. Had Chloe seen her that night?

“You did, huh?” Chloe says turning her wrist to show Beca. “Look, I saw yours in the shower that day. CB. Right?”

Beca nods, a bit more comfortable.

“And you’ve been thinking about this, correct?” She asks her. Beca nods again. “That we have each other’s initials.”

“I don’t even believe in soulmates…..”Beca mutters, looking into Chloe’s eyes.

“They don’t have to be relationships, you know.”

“Yeah, have you seen anyone with a soulmate friendship? They always end up dating, or getting married, or whatever. “Beca scoffs.

Chloe doesn’t say anything. She can’t find anything to say. She tries, but no words come out.

“See. And I don’t believe in this whole soulmates bullshit anyways. Can I go now?” She doesn’t wait for Chloes answer, and just leaves the building, leaving Chloe behind her. She doesn’t know why her aches so much, but she pushes her feelings down, and goes back to her room, crawls into bed, and lets her tears shed. Why was she crying right now?

Chloe stands there in silence, not being able to say anything. She doesn’t know how long she’s just standing in the doorway, until Aubrey comes back from her meeting with her professor.

“God, Chloe. You almost gave me a heart attack. Chloe? Chloe!” She holds on to her shoulder and shakes her.

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just a bit tired.” She shakes it off, trying to escape from Aubrey’s tightening grip on her shoulders.

“Oh bullcrap. I know you so well Chloe.” She scoffs. “What’s wrong Chloe? Is it Tom? Because if he’s hurting you, I swear to god Chloe, I’m gonna kill him….”

“No no. It’s not Tom.”

“What is it then? Its Beca isn’t it? Oh my god Chloe. It is! What happened with ear monstrosities?”

“Nothing. Can you leave me alone?” She runs up to her room and slams the door shut, and bursting into tears. Why did she have to be like that to Aubrey? She knows she shouldn’t have, and she’s regretting it so much. And she shouldn’t have confronted Beca. Now she had ruined her relationship with Beca and Aubrey.

Somehow, she’s managed to fall asleep, and she’s woken up with a gentle knock on the door. “Chloe. I’m sorry about earlier. Can I come in?” She hears Aubrey’s voice. She gets out of bed, and opens the door.

“Chloe I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have stepped in. I just don’t want you to get hurt, you know.” She say, giving her a hug.

“I know Bree.” She sighs, burying her face in Aubrey’s shoulder.

“Do you like her Chloe?”Aubrey asks, and she doesn’t even need to answer. “I know Chloe. It’s okay.” She rubs her back as Chloe sobs into her shoulder.

Beca ’s about to miss two days of classes when her father comes in to her room. “Beca. Wake up. Beca?”

She flutters her eyes open. “Huh?”

“Beca. What’s wrong? I know you’re upset at me but you’re upset for a whole another reason. What’s up?”He asks.

“NOthinggggg. Just some soulmate bullshit.”

“Beca, are we talking about me and your mother, because…” He tries to start but Beca intervenes.

“No. It’s not about you and mom or you and Sheila. It’s about my soulmate. That is, if there is even one anymore.” She scoffs.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Chloe.”

“Chloe in the Bellas. Chloe Beale?” He opens his eyes wide. “Oh Beca. That’s great!”

“No it isn’t. I just messed up our whole friendship. I just yelled at her and ran off.” She says looking down.

“Oh Beca, go talk to her. You might even find out that she’s not even your soulmate.” He says patting her on her shoulder. “Now go talk to her or go to your philosophy class.” He says to her and leaves the room.

Now Beca had no choice. She had to go see Chloe. Right? She gets up, takes a shower and gets ready to head to the auditorium to find Chloe.

Chloe decided that she would keep skipping practice until she was okay, and that probably meant for eternity. That’s why she’s surprised, when she hears a knock at the door. It couldn’t be anyone other than Aubrey, right? But Aubreys at practice right now, and she always texts before she comes back, asking if she needed anything from the mini-mart. That meant someone else was at the door. Right? What if its a…..

“Chloe?” The door opens and Chloe jumps, but there she is, Beca Mitchell, standing in front of the doorway of Chloe’s room.

“Oh my god Beca! You’re gonna give me a heart attack!” She says now trying to calm herself down. Her heart was pounding and it didn’t seem to stop. Was it her being scared, or was it because Beca’s here?

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I went to the auditorium, and you weren’t there. Aubrey gave me her keys and told me you were here.” She says as she slowly steps into the room. “I should’ve called. Or whatever….” She mutters, waiting for permission to come into the room. “I needed to talk to you.” Chloe shifts in her bed, making room for Beca to sit, and she takes it as an go sign to walk into the room.

“What’s up?” Chloe says in her most normal-im-okay-but-kinda-not tone.

“Soulmates.” She just says, looking at Chloe.

“Soulmates.” She repeats. “What about them?” She grips her fist tight, nails turning her palms white as she clutches. She’s nervous. She didn’t realize it until now, but she’s nervous. She’s nervous about what Beca is going to say. How it might change their relationship forever. How it might just come crashing down.

“What do you think about them? Do you believe in it?” Beca pauses. “Do you think we are?”

She’s been waiting for her to say this to hear her say it. She looks into her eyes. Beca’s beautiful blue eyes are twinkling. her tears are just barely there, right before spilling out of her eyes.

“Beca. I can’t. I can’t anymore…. I can’t pretend like we don’t have chemistry. Like we aren’t meant to be. I can’t do this anymore. Please tell me if I’m crazy, and I’m the only one feeling this between us. Because I’ll stop. I’ll stop if this is just me. So tell me. Am I the only one feeling our chemistry? The way sparks fly when we look at each other, how we slipped into it own world, that days in the shower? Tell me. please….” Chloe lets her tears spill out of her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto the comforter.

“Chloe….” Beca says, looking into her eyes, with her own tears down her cheeks. “I’m messed up. I’m damaged goods. You don’t want me….”

“I do though Beca. I really do. I can’t fight this anymore.”

That moment, no-one really knows what happens, or who kissed who first. It doesn’t matter anymore. Their lips touch, and their hands are around one another, and it’s perfect. No-one could break this moment.

“I love you Beca. I can’t help but love you.” Chloe smiles as she says so, lips still touching.

“I think I love you too Beale.” Beca chuckles.

“You THINK!? Beca THINK!? You don’t love me?” Chloe pouts, jokingly pushing her away.

“Yeah, yeah, fine. I love you Beale. There! Happy?” She says pecking her lip once again.

They’re kissing each other back and fourth, enjoying their moment together when they hear a knock on the door, and then the door opens.

“Finally. What took you so long?” Aubrey chuckles as she looks at them from the doorway.

“Nothing. Beca just had to realize that I was here.”Chloe chuckles as she pokes the younger brunette.

“Heyyyyyy!” Beca pouts, burying her face in Chloe’s hair.

“You two are disgustingly adorable. Don’t hurt her Beca. Or else, I’ll hunt you down and murder you. I’m not kidding.” Aubrey ays as she walks out.

“I love you too!” Chloe giggles kissing Beca’s head. “So are you going to come back to practice now?” She asks as she wraps her arms around Beca and pulls her down to her bed, making them lay down.

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you’re gonna drag me to them now right?” Beca asks, lifting her head up, and looking at the ginger’s eyes.

“Yup. That’s totally going to happen. But don’t worry. It’ll be worth it.” She gives a quick peck on the lips. “So, does this mean you’re gonna be mine girlfriend?”

“Um…… I guess?”

“Um… YOU GUESS!? Seriously? Get out of my room!” She jokingly pushes the brunette off of her.

“Sorry! Sorry! I would love to be your girlfriend. “ She says to her, trying to not get pushed off of the bed.

“Awwwww. Yay!” She wraps her arms back around her.

“Love you too. “ Beca says laying back on top of her.  She didn’t believe in soulmates before, but now she did, and it’s a good change for her. She knows she’s going to be so much happier, and maybe Barden wasn’t that bad after all.

She then realizes that Chloe’s a senior.

But right now, it doesn’t matter, she presses a gentle kiss on the ginger’s lips and closes her eyes, falling asleep.

[justphilia]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SON, KAGEYAMA “MOB” SHIGEO.

So anyways, birthdays, my boy doesn’t do parties.

His family would get him a cake for after dinner and Reigen might, for once, let him have some frackin’ meat on his ramen.

Ritsu’s the only one that would get him gifts probably; froggy keychain, hoodies.

OH but that was BEFORE Shigeo unlocked the power of friendship, so now his birthday goes like this:

Dimple casually hovers over his face with a little party hat and Shigeo is too tired in the morning to deal with it probably, so he gets up and goes through Dimple.

Ritsu’s the first to say Happy Birthday because he is a good little brother, and his parents are like, “Happy birthday, Shige, we’ll get cake for dinner, alright?” As per tradition, y’know?

So my boys are walking to school, and neither of them are acknowledging the ghost in the party hat, and Dimple doesn’t seem too eager to tell them anyways because they already know why he’s wearing it.

And the moment they enter school, Shigeo’s suddenly getting random “Happy birthday”s from people he doesn’t even know, and he’s super confused. Until Mezato shows up and goes, “Oh dude, there’s like a birthday babies section in the school paper and let’s say I added yours.”

Even his teacher told him happy birthday and it’s so bizarre because Shigeo isn’t use to this much attention.

Then club rolls in and Shigeo suddenly finds himself being thrown in the air by his Body Improvement Club buddies, but it doesn’t last long because this is post-canon and the members are different.

Anyways, Teru decides to drop by while Shigeo is on his run with the fellas, and he’s holding like the biggest frog plush Shigeo has ever seen in his life. “Kageyama-kun, what a surprise!”

No, not what a surprise, he planned this. He walked his gay ass over just to hand the gift early.

“Welp, you already saw the gift, might as well take it,” Teru sighs, holding it up for Shigeo.

“Hanazawa-kun, I am on my run.”

“Oh, yeah- right—“

“How about you head over to my house and wait for me?”

WOAH TERU DID NOT EXPECT TO BE INVITED TO HIS CRUSH BEST FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY PARTY, OKAY COOL.

Shigeo isn’t really expecting a party, but when he gets home, expecting to see Teru and maybe Reigen only with his family, he is met with a crowd of people. And he hasn’t even reached the front door yet.

Consisting of: Awakening Lab bunch, Reigen and his husband, Ex-Telepathy Club members, the actual Telepath Peach Boy, Camera Lady Mezato, Emi the Fanfic Writer, ginger gamer arsonist and his gay band; Paper Fan, Healer Hand, Constructor Man, Tiny Dolly Mukai and her Big Strong Mom, Probably Roommates But Definitely Co-Workers Sakurai and Koyama,

Mr Afraid Of A Water Bucket Terada, Muraki In A Suit part 2, Matsuo and Pudding-chan, Frat Chad Shimazaki and his partner Plant Guy Minegishi, Joseph From The Government (only here to watch over ex-Claw), Buff Boys and Tenga, Miss Tennis Lesbian and Miss Alien Lesbian, then finally, Minori pulls up behind Shigeo in a limo.

Kagey-mama low key stress from the amount of adults in the room who came for her 15-16(?)-year-old son’s birthday.

So anyways Teru’s kinda bummed out he’s not the only one who got Shigeo a very cool gift, because these fellas only knew one thing about Shigeo and it’s that he likes frogs and the color green. (Koyama deadass the only one who brought milk)

How they got invited? Dimple in a party hat ran around town collecting guests like he was playing Pokémon, because collecting people is his only specialty. I don’t even know how he got Tsubomi and a good chunk of the ex-Claw Members but whatever y’know?

So Shigeo’s having the time of his life and he’s smiling like, “Are y’all being nice people?”

“Pfft, I mean,” Shimazaki starts. Minegishi kicks him in the shin. Shimazaki nearly cries in blind. “YEP, definitely.”

Ritsu is beyond pissed off because THIS IS OUR SPECIAL TRADITION WHY ARE YOU GUYS HERE.

Shou: Enters the chat.

Ritsu: Okay nevermind :)

Meanwhile Teru’s still thinking of the perfect gift and it isn’t helping that all the girls are surrounding Shigeo, gushing about his birthday and such.

Shigeo’s going to sleep comfy tonight with this many frog plus- Did Minori buy him a whole bed?

That’s it, I’m winning the best prize competition, whether they like it or not. Teru, honey, there’s no competition???

So after cake and ha ha party talk (yes how are you PUDDING-chan, oh wow Tsubomi you’ve gotten taller again, no Tenga this isn’t a secret gang, Joseph you can have some cake y’know), they all head home and Teru’s the last to leave while Ritsu’s trying to push all the gifts up the stairwell (not going well, cannot fit).

Shigeo’s like, “Well, we had fun didn’t we?”

“Yes, we did. Happy birthday, Shige,” Teru smooches Shigeo’s hand. “Goodnight!”

OH YES HE DID IT, BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT 20XX!

Shigeo’s red all over.

“NIISAN PLEASE HELP THEY’RE STUCK,” Ritsu screams.

//Side note: I did a grammar check with this post using text-to-speech to read it out loud for me to read along with and it’s hilarious??

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

Needed Me

AN: OK so I’m kind of in love with this fic like hardcore love it. But like y'all I had to write a toxic Erik it just felt like the right thing to do. SORRY! Like always big ups to: @chaneajoyyy for da proof read!

Summary: A relationship that’s dragged on and off for years has come to it’s peaking point.

Pairing: Toxic Erik x reader

Warnings: cussing, threatens of killing, yk the normal Erik shit

Word count: 1,843

Suggested listening: So Gone (What My Mind Says) - Jill Scott  

“C’mon bring ya ass outside Y/N this is your last warning.”

“Erik please can we just talk about this over the phone we don’t need to be face to face.”

“Y/N you know I have no problem killing that punk ass nigga that’s in there with you, I suggest you get you shit and come outside right now before it gets bloody.” 

“Fuck” you hissed. You knew Erik wasn’t playing around about what he said. You grabbed your purse and jacket and opened the front door.

Erik Stevens was a toxic son of a bitch. No sugar coating the fact that he relied on his good looks and natural charisma and it made him spoiled in his young adult life, when he saw something that he wanted he got it with ease and very little push back. And his freshman year in college he decided that what he wanted was you.

The first time that you guys were together it was picture perfect, he would pick you up from class and spend the night in your dorm room. The breakup however was messy, accusations of cheating flew around in a whirlwind of problems you had with Erik and it was just one of many things that caused the fall of your relationship. A month later, just when you had started healing from your relationship he came back to you, his brother in Oakland died and you were the closest thing to family he had at Stanford. Obviously you welcomed him back into your bed that night allowing him to release all of his stress onto you and then holding him when he processed the realization of his family member dying. But by your sophomore year same as before your relationship had been plauged with rumors of cheating this time from both parties and after a fight in which he chocked you up onto a wall, but because you both were horny fucks only turned into a fit of passionate sex. But after that it was done you kicked Erik out and he stayed out, blocking him on all social media and stopping sharing your location with him. All ties were cut.

But nearly 4 months later when he saw you grinding up on a random nigga at a kickback his blood starting boiling, how dare you let him touch you like that you were practically humping him at this fucking party. And does that nigga not know who Erik is?? Most guys at Stanford steer clear of you in order not to piss Erik off but this guy doesn't seem to care. Erik didn’t remember much about that night just fist colliding with a face and your shrill scream begging him to get off of whatever the guys name was. He made you go home with him and the entire car ride you rode in silence.

Up the elevator: Silence

Walking throughout the hall to get to his apartment: Silence

Entering into the common room that he shared with his two roommates: Silence.

You didn't finally erupt until you walked in this dorm

“Are you fucking kidding me Erik!” you threw your jacket down onto his bed.

“Watch who the fuck you're talking to Y/N” Erik said as he started removing his jacket and shoes.

“Why would you do some shit like that huh? You don’t want anyone to be happy unless it’s with you!”

“Shut the fuck up and let’s go to sleep” Erik said lazily as he removed his shirt and laid out on the bed. He knew what he was doing, his body and the sex that came with it where the only reason you guys stayed together. BUT his little trick wasn’t gonna work this time.

“No. I’m going back to see Brandon and apologize to him for your behavior” You reached to grab your jacket off the bed giving Erik the perfect opportunity to grab your wrist and force you to straddle him.

“Why you always gotta be so difficult hmm?” He asked as he used his free hand to stroke your cheek.

“Let me go Erik I’m serious, I need to go apologize to Brandon for your dumbass actions. He probably doesn't even wanna fuck with me anymore because of you” you wiggled slightly trying to release yourself from his grasp.

Erik let go of your hand and started stroking your thigh “You're not even trying to leave if we’re both being honest, if you really wanted to leave you would have left already. You like being with me, just admit it.”

You threw your head back and let out a sigh, Erik wasn't wrong, you always felt comfortable around him and right now was no different but you couldn’t let him know that. Today was the day that you were going to end a very vicious cycle. You got off of Erik and grabbed your jacket

“Fuck you Erik”

Erik chuckled at that “Ay princess” he called out to you as you walked out of his room “Let me find out that you're over that niggas house, I promise I wil come over and air that bitch out. Text me when you get home I don’t want to have to come find you myself.”

Erik was a man of action but for some reason you didn’t believe him this time, the first thing that you did as soon as you got out of his apartment complex was to call an Uber to Brandon’s place. 

When it pulled up to his house you texted Brandon to let him know that you were outside and he opened the door to him. Honestly he didn’t look too bad for getting into a fight with Erik, you'd seen guys come out looking much worse, he just had a black eye with some puffiness. You didn’t say anything to him but a mutual understanding of the sorry’s that hadn't been said were being said with looks. He held out his hand to you and you took it following him into his bedroom. You both undressed and got into bed quickly, not wanting anything other than to just be in the others company. He knew about your relationship with Erik and he was the first person to help you fully realize just how toxic it was, even though you would never say it out loud. Eventually you drifted off to sleep while he held you in his arms, finally feeling calm. 

You awoke to banging on his front door and by the fact that Brandon had just sat up you knew it couldn’t be good. Brandon didn’t get into anything on campus that would constitute someone knocking in his door at god what time was it? You reached over to grab your phone and soon realized what the banging was about. You had 36 missed calls from Erik, 17 facetime calls and 50 text messages. You were fucked plain and simple. That's when you heard it:

“Y/N I’m not fucking playing with you I swear to god come outside or I’m coming in there to get you” You could tell it was Erik and he wasn’t happy.

“Fuck” you muttered to yourself as you slid out of Brandon’s bed and started pulling on your skirt that you had worn and searched for your shirt.

“You can’t go out there Y/N” Brandon said as he got out of bed throwing on a pair of shorts.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK “I'm getting impatient Y/N!”

“No one else is gonna be able to calm him down right now, you just don’t get him. I’m not going back to him just talking to him.” You threw your phone and charger into your purse and looked around for your socks.

“That’s bull shit, you and I both know it. Just call him and see if you can work it out over the phone.”

 You looked at Brandon and saw the desperation in his eyes. Not desperate for you to be with him necessarily but desperate for you to be away from Erik. 

“Fine” you said as you put your shoes on. 

You grabbed your phone and dialed Erik’s number.

“Hi baby” you thought sweet talking would work. I didn’t, but it did make Erik laugh.

“C’mon bring ya ass outside Y/N this is your last warning.”

“Erik please can we just talk about this over the phone we don’t need to be face to face.”

“Y/N you know I have no problem killing that punk ass nigga that’s in there with you, I suggest you get you shit and come outside right now before it gets bloody” 

“Fuck” you hissed, you knew Erik wasn’t playing around about what he said. You grabbed your purse and jacket and opened the front door. There he was standing right in front of you, dressed in a wife beater and grey nike sweatpants with his piece sitting comfortably on his hip, you would never admit it but seeing him like that made you wetter than ever.

“Damn that nigga didn’t even walk you to the front door, what a bitch. Let’s go we got some shit to work out” Erik said as he wrapped his arm around your waist and led you to the car. You saw M’baku and T’challa sitting in the drivers and passenger seat of the g-wagon. Erik opened the door for you and you shimmed in. You had been in the g-wagon before but never in the back seat. You assumed using  someone's Wakandan connection they had tricked out the back so it was enough space to lay down and still have space.

“T’challa do me a favor and put down the partition me and my girl need to exchange some words.” Erik said.

“You sure she’s still your girl” M’baku muttered causing T’challa to laugh as he closed the partition.

“You know how embarrassing shit like that is?” Erik asked you “we’ve been together since freshman year and niggas are still questioning our devotion to each other” 

“They wouldn't have to if you didn’t give them a reason too.” you said in a hushed tone.

“You question my devotion to you baby girl? You think I’m out here fucking on other girls?” He slid his hand up your skirt and rubbed your inner thigh. “You gave me all of you, aren’t I right? I was your first everything, first boyfriend, first body, first love, let me make you feel good again. Like I did that first time.”

In your mind you flashed back to the night that you let Erik take your virginity, not even just the sex but the simplicity of everything. No one was arguing both of you were just 100% present in the moment just there with the other person. 

You looked down at Erik as he pulled your skirt down your legs, he paused when he got it past your knees. “I need you to tell me that you want this, tell me that you need me.”

You heard your words that you said to Brandon echo in your head. 

“I’m not going back to him.”

“I need you Erik”

[spadebrigade]

eyes on you - sfw version

author’s note: hello! this is “eyes on you”, a version of my fic on ao3 that has the smut cut out. click here for the original, which also has the tags + summary

author’s note (continued): please note that this is a sequel to my longer work, a fortune i couldn’t foresee. but you don’t need to read it in order to understand this one shot! 

we begin with this song. now onto the fic: 

This was his moment. Kuroo closed his eyes, took a deep breath. It only took one phrase to spark a revolution, one song to set a nation’s heart on fire. And he was just the person to take on this challenge, delighting in the water droplets as they cascaded over his bare body. Taking in one more deep breath, he belted out:

“I love you, baaaaaby, and if it's quite alright

I need you, baaaaaby, to warm the lonely niiiiight~”

For the world to hear. Well--for Kenma to hear his terrible singing through the noises of the shower running in their shared apartment. He was just getting into the nonexistent music, singing excruciatingly slowly while he lathered his hair into a mohawk, before he stopped. 

Why hadn’t Kenma banged on the door for him to shut the fuck up yet? Between the awful singing and the cheesy lyrics, he’d expected his boyfriend to have a complaint by now. 

Rinsing off the remaining suds, Kuroo hummed the rest of the song to himself. He still couldn’t believe that he and Kenma were dating. All those years he’d been in love with his best friend, and it turns out it’d been mutual the whole time? He shook his head, muttering “what the fuck” to himself. But he couldn’t bring himself to be too mad about it, because they were together now. And as was his right as both boyfriend and best friend, he was going to annoy the fuck out of Kenma.

He slung a towel over his waist, not even bothering to dry off the drops of water that ran down his chest. He had far more important things to worry about, like bursting into Kenma’s room without knocking.

“What are you up to?”

Kenma sat in his desk chair with his back turned to the door. Kuroo didn’t need to admire him in secret anymore, but it was habit. Some part of his chest fluttered at the sight of his boyfriend so focused on his computer screen, ears covered by headphones and hair piled into a neat bun.

“I’m streaming,” Kenma said, occupied by some fantasy world on his monitor.

“What are you playing?” Kuroo stepped into his personal space, leaning forward and dripping water onto the keyboard.

“Oh my god.”

It was the utter disbelief in his voice that made Kuroo look up, to see wide honey-brown eyes. “What?”

“You’re half-naked and my camera is on.” He gestured to the stream of comments running across the screen. Kuroo caught a “WHO IS THAT” and plenty of tongue and water emojis.

“Oh.” He’d already forgotten he was in a towel. “Well--” He hadn’t signed up to perform for such a wide audience today, but he was going to deliver. “I gotta give the people what they want...Check out these guns.” He posed, flexing his biceps and making kissy faces at the camera.

“Get out,” Kenma pushed him out of the camera’s range. “You’re going to get me banned for pornography.”

He threw his head back into a hyena laugh, making his way towards the door. He was giddy, having achieved his goal of annoying Kenma for the day.

On his way out, he heard his boyfriend speaking into the mic: “The chat is being too much today. That’s just my roommate.”

Kuroo clicked the door closed. Right. Just his roommate.

When he sat at his desk later, trying to study, he knew that Kenma hadn’t meant it that way. They were boyfriends, and they were out as a couple to practically everyone they knew (Bokuto and Hinata had been particularly happy to find out, insisting on double dates that Kuroo agreed to and Kenma was horrified by). But Kenma was a Youtuber and hadn’t yet told his audience, for a number of reasons.

One was for their privacy. As Kenma had explained, “If my fanbase finds out I’m dating someone, they’ll have a lot of opinions about it. And that’s not something I want to deal with until I have to.”

And Kuroo understood that. But there was one reason that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with.

“Plus,” Kenma had said on that cold night when they were both sitting on their hard lump of a couch, “Yuuji and I have this whole thing going on right now. He’s been desperately single for a while and the fact that it looks like we might be dating is helping his views, and mine.”

Now, Kuroo chewed the end of his pen. He and Kenma hadn’t even been together that long, but he felt like he was already putting on a suit for the funeral of their honeymoon phase. When they had finally gotten together, the world didn’t stop for them--Kuroo had to pay attention to his exams, and Kenma had to pay attention to his Youtube career. 

So much attention to his Youtube career. If he wasn’t recording a video, then he was editing another video, or streaming. At least Kuroo got to tag along when Kenma vlogged something, though he’d only be there to help with the camera. 

But there was one thing he felt good about: they were going to have a Movie Night, a semiregular tradition that neither of them ever skipped. They’d take turns picking bad movies and Kenma would order some food, and Kuroo would cook something healthy in an attempt to balance it out. Last time, Kenma had chosen a film about a murderous car tire and this week, Kuroo planned to outdo him with a 2002 3D animated Christmas movie that was sure to be a heap of hilarious garbage. 

Once he’d finally finished balancing the last of the chemical equations, Kuroo found himself in the kitchen, preparing cauliflower. It was a methodical process; washing, chopping, baking (even though their oven kind of sucked and raised the temperature of the entire apartment). He was in the middle of it when Kenma shuffled out of his room.

“Are you cooking?” He tilted his head, sniffing the air.

“Yeah, I found this dope recipe. It’s gonna be so awesome, you’re gonna have to like vegetables.”

“Right,” Kenma snorted. “Listen, I have to skip the movie tonight. I’m gonna hop on Yuuji’s stream and it’s gonna take a while.”

“Oh,” Kuroo said in a voice that he hoped covered the sound of his heart dropping to the bottom of his chest. “Okay.”

“Don’t you have homework to finish anyway?” 

“Yeah.” He watched Kenma pluck an apple off the counter and disappear into his room.

Kuroo was left alone with the cauliflower. He lifted the bowl towards his face, staring at the zombie broccoli. “You still like me, right?”

It didn’t answer. He would have been worried if it did.

He continued cooking in silence. One missed movie night wasn’t a big deal, right? They could watch movies any time.

Or that’s what he told himself as laughter echoed from Kenma’s room. 

                                                               ≡

Kuroo thought that he could shake off these negative feelings, but they stuck to him like a wet paper towel. 

He’d never been the jealous type in relationships. When his middle school girlfriend confessed that she liked another boy, he let her go with no hard feelings. With all his one night stands, he’d never felt possessive. If anything, he preferred to leave before he or his partner could marinate too much in their shame. But then again, when he’d been with all of those people, his heart had stayed behind in Kenma’s hands.

The word “jealous” left a rotten flavor in his mouth, but he couldn’t deny that was how he felt. When he went back into his room, pulling his laptop towards his face way too close like a preteen looking up boobs, he started researching this Yuuji that Kenma was spending so much time with. The Wikipedia page popped up on Google:

Full name: Yuuji Terushima

Occupation: Youtuber

Alias: PartyHair

Sliding in earbuds, Kuroo clicked around his channel. Immediately, his latest video began to autoplay.

“Welcome back, everyone! It’s your boy Yuuji…”

Kuroo frowned. This guy was fucking smokin’. A chiseled face, perfectly styled bleached hair, and was that a fucking tongue piercing?

He groaned. It was a secret wish of his to get blown by a guy with a tongue piercing. What if it was Kenma’s too?

A voice in his head told him he was being a total dumbass right now. And obviously, he didn’t think that Kenma would ever cheat on him--or actually leave him--based on who around him happened to be hot and have piercings. But Kuroo was still fucking mad about it.

After watching over an hour’s worth of PartyHair’s videos, Kuroo had brewed himself a fat pot of Old Man Grumpiness, complete with a dash of edge and a sprinkle of angst. One that he was still letting simmer when Kenma peeked into his room later.

“Good night.”

“Night,” Kuroo borderline growled, curling up under his blanket.

Kenma quirked an eyebrow in response. “I think you need to sleep.” 

Sending incoherent mutters in response, he heard Kenma quietly click the door closed.

Kuroo would be damned if he waited his whole life to get this boy’s attention, only to lose it in a matter of weeks.

But he was still being a little bitch the next day, as Bokuto noted when they got lunch together.

“I’m not being a little bitch,” Kuroo crossed his arms, watching with annoyance as Bokuto scarfed down a burrito. “I’m just--I’m just pissed that he’s spending so much time with some other dude, y’know? We’ve only been dating a few weeks. Shouldn’t our hands always be in each other’s pants?”

Bokuto nearly choked, letting out a boisterous laugh. “Why the fuck would you assume that?”

“I don’t know!”

He shook his head. “Dude, if it really bothers you that much, why don’t you just talk to Kenma about it?”

“Because I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of possessive creep.” He leaned his cheek on his hand dejectedly.

“But you are some kind of pos-”

“Thanks, Bo, I get it.” He stared down at his untouched food.

“Look,” Bokuto gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “relationships are about communication, right? I always tell Akaashi what’s on my mind.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kuroo had heard plenty of times, from Akaashi himself, how it could be a little overwhelming to hear every passing thought about is it possible for two people on opposite ends of the universe to experience sunrise and sunset at the same time? And sometimes it was things like what do you think dirt actually tastes like? 

“Me and Kenma don’t really work that way.”

Bokuto grinned knowingly. “Kuroo, which of us has been in a successful long-term relationship?”

He groaned, knowing exactly where this was going. “You.”

“And which of us was miserable until he listened to my genius advice to confess to Kenma?”

“Me…”

“Exactly,” Bokuto shot off some finger guns, before stealing some food off of his plate. “So maybe listen to the love expert this time around.”

He hated the fact that Bokuto was right, that he actually knew more about these things than Kuroo. But he didn’t need the reminder to know that Bo was an expert in loving people, was just natural at being adored and loved by everyone in the room. Kuroo, on the other hand, was not that kind of person. He was a little shit--and glad to be. But he didn’t want to only be a little shit to Kenma. He wanted to be a very nice shit, that smelled like roses. That you might want to cuddle with during a cold night. Okay, he was bad at metaphors.

                                                              ♠

Kenma slid a hand over his face. “There’s more?”

He’d found himself having a peculiar problem ever since Kuroo had wandered into his room with a towel on. The entire internet was thirsting over his boyfriend.

The chat was spammed with comments, and within a few minutes, his Twitter was flooded with screenshots of Kuroo’s abs.

ana_the_beara: who the f**k is this hottie?! @ kodzuken

kr1kit: @ kodzuken says that’s just his roommate…

chanchan28: oh my god they were roommates

Kuroo had wandered into his room for all of one minute and now he had to deal with hundreds of thirst tweets, questions about his dating life, and speculations about Mr. Wet Abs’ identity. It was all a bit much for him to handle. (Though he did have to give credit to the people who made memes and edits during the stream, seemingly seconds after the whole thing even happened.)

He had a ton of damage control to do, especially considering how he and Yuuji were supposed to be dropping hints that they were together. He hoped that the other Youtuber wouldn’t be mad about it.

“That’s actually so funny,” Yuuji laughed on their phone call, scrolling through the memes. “But it could be a big help! It’ll, like, make more noise, y’know? Get people talking, which will get us more views.”

So that was one thing he didn’t have to worry about. But this whole “possibly-dating-other-online-people” business was starting to feel like more trouble than it was worth, as much as he liked hanging out with Yuuji. 

How long did this have to go on for anyway? He’d much rather spend time with Kuroo. Speaking of Kuroo…

Maybe he could go for a movie tonight. So what if his homework was a day late?

                                                              ♠

Kuroo was on the couch with his laptop, in the middle of solving equations that he should have done earlier, when Kenma walked into the living room.

“Hey, I have some free time. Want to watch a movie?” He settled in beside Kuroo, criss-crossing his legs.

He glanced at Kenma, before returning his gaze to his laptop. “I have work to do.” Shit, that’d sounded too sharp. Now Kenma was looking at him with furrowed brows. “It’s...homework.” He added awkwardly, as though that explained his terrible mood.

“Are you okay?” Came the inevitable question, gentle as it always was, laced with concern.

‘I’m fine,’ was what he’d wanted to say. That was not what came out.

“Oh so you want to hang out with me just because your schedule cleared up?”

He got a look of bewilderment in return, and looked away, his skin heating with embarrassment and anger.

A hand reached over and Kenma slowly closed his laptop, looking at him directly. He couldn’t bring his eyes to meet that catlike gaze.

“Are you saying that I don’t make time for you?”

There was the question. The confrontation.

“Well, you don’t.” As he said it, he felt like a petulant child, throwing a fit over nothing. But he couldn’t stop himself.

“Kuro, we’re both in a busy time right now. You know that.” His voice was measured despite the irritation that colored it.

He turned now, arms crossed and eyes glaring. “Why don’t you go hang out with Yuuji?” He spat the name.

Kenma blinked. Processed. “...You’re not seriously jealous of Yuuji?” Halfway between a question and a statement.

His shoulders scrunched as he sunk into the couch, silent.

                                                              ♠

“Oh my god. Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?” He took Kuroo’s silence as an invitation to invade his space, gently pushing away the laptop and scooting even closer.

“You’ve been spending so much time with him! And half your followers think you’re fucking.”

“What does it matter if they think that when I’m fucking you?”

Kuroo huffed, turning his head away again.

“Kuroo, what does it matter when you’re the only person I masturbate to?”

He whipped his head back immediately, overcome by a blush that had already infected not only his cheeks, but also Kenma’s.

“I’m the only person you masturbate to?”

Now it was Kenma’s turn to look away. “I--I’ve been into you since forever. You already know that.”

He grinned. “But this is another level, kitty cat.”

Kenma groaned in frustration, his tied-back hair unable to cover the embarrassment on his face. “I’m out of here.”

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, in both shock and amusement at his boyfriend’s reaction. He didn’t have time to say anything else before Kenma was off the couch, out the room--

“Hey!” He scrambled to his feet, following after him. Kenma was fast, but not fast enough. Kuroo caught his hand in the hallway. He was anticipating a struggle, but didn’t receive one--Kenma’s face was turned away, but their hands were nonetheless linked together.

He led his embarrassed boyfriend into the room where this whole mess started, walking past the gaming setup and settling on Kenma’s bed. He sat among the pillows, but the bed’s owner settled in the farthest corner towards the wall, pressing his hands to his cheeks as though to absorb the redness.

“I masturbate to you, too.”

The confession relaxed Kenma’s shoulders, but his voice still came out quietly, “I always wondered--” He interrupted himself, shook his head. “Sometimes, I...I heard you doing it.”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “Me masturbating?” The answer to his question came in the form of sheepish nods. “...Did you like what you heard?”

“I--yeah, idiot!” 

                                                             ♠

A pillow landed on Kuroo’s face, earning his laughter. A devilish smile grew on his face. “Well, if you liked that song, I can give you a concert.” He was already shrugging out of his shirt. “You’ve got the best seat in the house.” 

Maybe Terushima had a sexy piercing and some of Kenma’s time, but only Kuroo had the honor of gracing his boyfriend’s fantasies. And he was going to prove just how grateful he was.

“Did you see the news articles about your little display in my room?”

Kuroo snorted as he settled back, getting comfortable. “Did I make you jealous?”

“No,” he answered too quickly, crossing his arms. “Idiot.”

He let out his dorky hyena laugh, which, to Kenma, somehow sounded sexy. Before he could say anything else, Kuroo put on an enticing, yet filthy show for him to watch, which he may have participated in. Which may have involved a fantasy of a steamy shower in a lake house that they’d visited as kids.

When the show was over, they both settled back against the pillows breathlessly.

“Kuroo,” He began with a quirked brow, “if you were thinking of shower sex, then why set it in the cabin?”

He felt Kuroo’s chest shake as he laughed. “You’re finding plot holes in my masturbation fantasies?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s because...it’s scenic.”

Kenma scoffed at the obvious lie. “Come on, you’re clearly in a sharing mood today.”

“All right,” Kuroo sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s because that summer...when we first visited that cabin...it’s when I first realized I love you.”

His heart skipped a beat. “It was?” Suddenly he racked his brain, trying to remember anything special that happened, any sign that Kuroo’s feelings towards him had changed. But there was nothing. They’d acted like dumb kids during that week away, just like they had every week before that.

“Yeah.” Kuroo smiled. Not that devilish grin of his, but one that was more honest, that spread over his face easily. “It was actually because of your mom.”

“What? Stop joking--”

“It’s not a joke!” He laughed, meeting Kenma’s eyes. “It really was because of her. I wanted to go to the deeper part of the lake without any adult supervision, and she wasn’t having it. It went something like…”

“I want to go in the lake.” Insisted young Kuroo, pointing to the opposite shore. “Me and Kenma wanna see the fish.”

“No, Tetsurou.” Mrs. Kozume tutted. “What if something happens while you’re over there and we can’t help you?”

“But I can swim! I won’t drown.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What if Kenma drowns? Will you be happy if I die from a heart attack?”

“But I didn’t even hear what she was saying,” he chuckled. “Me drowning was one thing, but putting you in danger...that was something I could never risk.”

Kenma had no idea how Kuroo could do it--could make him fall in love more and more.

“I thought about it a lot. But I decided that if someone else drowned--this is gonna sound horrible,” He shook his head, smiling. “If someone else drowned, I wouldn’t be nearly as upset. Except maybe my dad, but. The point is, I cared about you more than anyone else. Your mom must have been happy because I dropped the idea of going that deep into the lake.”

“Can we stop talking about my mom?”

Kuroo broke into another laugh. “Fine, fine. There were a few times at the lake that I thought about kissing you, but I chickened out each time...I really wish you’d been my first kiss.”

Kenma felt his chest expand. He knew how much Kuroo regretted fooling around with other people before they’d started dating. “...You don’t remember, do you?”

He received a curious head tilt in response. “Remember what?”

                                                             ♠

“My eleventh birthday.”

“Wha--” Kuroo broke off his own question in confusion. “I remember your eleventh birthday. It was a few months after we visited the lake. Didn’t we have a sleepover?”

Kenma nodded. “We did. But that’s not what I mean.”

“Enlighten me.”

“All right. But give me the blanket first. I’m cold.”

“Even while resting in my loving arms?” Kuroo sighed dramatically, before pulling the blanket up over them. “There. Now tell me.”

“Okay,” Kenma tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, looking at a spot on the wall. “My mom bought me that cake. Do you remember? The one with the hedgehog on it.”

“Right. Because you liked Sonic, but you wanted him to look like a real hedgehog.”

“Yeah,” He nodded. “And she only told us to eat one piece so we wouldn’t get hyper. But then she went to sleep and we ate mochi instead?”

“Because it’d take longer for her to notice it was gone.” Kuroo grinned.

“You got this bit of chocolate on your nose. And you were laughing about something--I don’t know what it was, but it felt like a light inside of me switched on.”

“Your gay awakening?”

He snorted. “Basically. But that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you.”

“What, Kenma?” Kuroo whined. “You’re leaving me in suspense here.”

Kenma ignored him. “Do you also remember how you said you wanted to stay up all night long? And then you fell asleep at 11:30.”

“Well we were playing volleyball all day!”

He chuckled. “Well...before you fell asleep, we were talking. You asked me if there were any girls I liked.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows rose upwards. “And what did you say?”

“Anyway, Kuroo...have you ever kissed anyone?” Newly-eleven-year-old Kenma asked as Kuroo yawned.

“Me? No.” He shook his head sleepily. 

Kenma turned over to his side, looking at Kuroo intently. Kuroo, with his messy hair covering half his face and his arms tucked behind his head, stared comfortably at the ceiling. 

“Is there anyone you want to kiss?” Kenma asked, his heart beating faster.

“Mm, I dunno.” Kuroo turned over to face him. “I’d need practice.”

“We could practice.” He said before he could think better of the words, his pulse in his ears. He started to think of something to say, to cover it up--

“Mhm.”

Kenma’s breath stopped in his lungs. He scrunched up his face, gathered up the courage, and planted a peck right on Kuroo’s mouth. The world tilted, forever changed.

“...Kuroo?”

The only reply he got was a loud snore.

“No way.” Kuroo burst into laughter, much to Kenma’s annoyance. “I was asleep?!”

“You were, you ass.” Kenma rolled his eyes. “It was so embarrassing.”

“I guess that’s why you never mentioned it, huh.” Kuroo said, pulling Kenma’s hair free from its ponytail to run his fingers through it. He supposed that he was forgiven for the actions of his twelve-year-old self when Kenma hummed contentedly and leaned into his touch. “Actually,” he said with a small smile, “I’m kinda happy that happened. Because it means we were each other’s first kiss.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And you’re gonna be my last kiss, too.”

“...Kuroo?” Kenma gave him that cute, furrowed-brow look.

“When we’re all old and wrinkly, you’ll still be the only person I wanna kiss.”

Kenma scoffed, turning over. “What a dork.” But there was no hiding the pink that had bloomed on his cheeks.

                                                             ≡

“So,” Kenma said to his camera, leaning back in his gaming chair. “Next question: what is Kodzuken’s sexuality? Ah, I might need some help with this one.” He picked up his phone, dialing a number before putting it to his ear. “Can you come in here? I need you for a minute.”

A moment later, his door opened. “You called, kitty cat?”

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Kenma scoffed. “Anyway, come here. I need to tell my viewers what my sexuality is.” He gestured to the camera.

Kuroo squatted beside his chair, rubbing his chin in thought. “Ah, Kodzuken’s sexuality...well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because he's mine.”

He suppressed a chuckle, but a smile still leaked from his lips. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

“No problem.” He stood, pressing a kiss to Kenma’s cheek. “Don’t be too long, okay? I’m making dinner.”

“Okay.”

Upon hearing the door click closed, he turned back to the camera. “Well, this answers the next question: who is Mr. Wet Abs?” Kenma waved his hands, knowing he’d later edit in pictures of them together. “He’s not just my roommate. He’s my boyfriend.”

And whatever he’d have to deal with--however many questions, comments, or gaudy headlines--it was worth it.

Ending notes: a million thanks to both my good friend ana and the lovely lauren for beta-ing this fic for me <3 and thank YOU for reading! please feel free to let me know what you think :D

my ao3

my instagram: @ spade.yy

[luci-cunt]

Pad Thai / Fuck Off

[ @moonsandstarsaregay​ I’m sorry this took so long but tada! here’s your ficlet, just a lil mini from Carter’s POV. WARNING: RAVENSONG SPOILERS! but just barely :D <3333333

This is Homesong canon btw so it’s not exactly like the actual books.... there’s a bit of a..... twist >:3 you can also read it on AO3!

Enjoy!!!]

------------

Contrary to the apparently popular belief, Carter did actually take his position as mayor seriously. 

So jot that one down, Joe.

If he didn’t he might actually get more sleep in his actual bed, but as it was it felt like he spent most nights slumped over the desk in his office. Well, that was actually only part of it, and most nights Carter had the forethought to move to the couch by the door. In all honesty he didn’t mind sleeping at the office, in fact he did it regularly because he didn’t mind it. 

Living in the same house with your mom and your brother and your brother’s boyfriend and the weird wolf that won’t stop following you around is--shockingly--not all peaches and cream. Besides, his office was sick, the couch was the most comfortable thing he’d ever owned and he had an entire wall of windows he usually kept all the way open so he could pretend like he was outside. 

Sometimes he missed living on his own--how it had been when he was in college--but that hadn’t exactly been alone, which was the problem. Carter couldn’t stand the idea of living completely alone, even just moving in with his roommate--a guy named Joshi--had been like getting dunked in ice water after living with his family--his pack--for his whole life. 

But even that he was sure he could get used to, no--that wasn’t the real reason why he refused to get his own place. 

Before he hadn’t quite been able to pin down why it had felt so weird to think of moving out, and then it had hit him when Kelly moved. 

He didn’t have a mate. 

Both his brothers and his Uncle had all lived in the house until they found their mates. Technically Joe was still living in the Bennett house but he’d moved in with Ox first and then moved back in to leave the house to Kelly and Robbie later. Even Mark hadn’t left until Gordo finally let him move in. 

Carter just... didn’t have that. 

Instead he had his office, and the wolf that wouldn’t leave him alone. 

Speaking of… 

“Get your fucking nose out of there,” Carter snapped, kicking the mini-fridge door closed to stop the wolf from eating the thai-food leftovers he was saving for lunch. The wolf growled at him, nosing it open again so that Carter had to stop what he was typing on his laptop to hold the door closed with his foot. “I said cut it out, peanuts make you gassy as hell and I’m not dealing with that,” he said. They stared each other down for a moment, and Carter held up a finger. “You get in there and I’m kicking you out.”

The wolf huffed a breath like a laugh and then used his paw to shove Carter’s foot away. “Fucking cunt--” Carter said as he left his desk to tackle the wolf. They rolled over the fancy rug that had been a gift from some official Carter couldn’t remember the name of, both snarling and growling at one another loud enough that Cynthia--Carter’s secretary--could probably hear them. He could imagine her rolling her eyes and turning up her radio in the room next to him, but she was more than used to this by now. 

Eventually Carter managed to get a grip on the wolf’s middle and he shoved him into the couch, scrambling over and planting himself down in front of the fridge. The wolf jumped up, growling as he stalked over. 

“I told you to fuck off, and look--now instead of writing important emails I’m playing fridge guardian,” he said, scowling back at the wolf, who blew an annoyed breath out his nose into Carters face. “Wow, you’re so persuasive,” he mocked. 

There was a pause, and the wolf sat back and seemed to melt as it shifted, and then Gavin was sitting in front of him. His face scrunched in a pout and long, tangled black hair spilled over his shoulders. 

“Ass,” he said. Carter flipped him off. 

The first few times that Gavin had shifted out of the timberwolf Carter had thought he was being haunted. It started with little things, like books moved around and cups emptied when he swore he’d left them full. He hadn’t really thought much of it--maybe it was the stupid-white-person part of him but if his office was haunted that just made it so much cooler. 

Except then the things had gotten more noticable. If he fell asleep at his desk he’d wake up with one of the stupidly oversized couch cushions under his head, and the windows would open and close themselves while he was sleeping. He’d first suspected Cynthia, but she’d just given him a weird look when he brought it up. 

He didn’t catch on until one day when a bat flew into his windows and woke him out of a dead sleep and he’d caught Gavin before he could shift back. After that he was still reluctant to shift out of the wolf, but he’d stopped doing it in secret when Carter promised not to tell anyone he’d seen it. 

He didn’t actually talk to Carter until about a month after he started shifting out enough that Carter kept a spare pair of sweatpants at the office. He spoke oddly, like he’d never actually been taught how to. It had taken some getting used to but now Carter hardly noticed. 

“Not wolf,” Gavin said, pointing to himself and then the fridge. 

“Yeah well, I lied, I just don’t want you eating it because it’s mine,” Carter said, making Gavin’s scowl deepen. 

“Hungry.” 

“We literally just ate.”

Gavin shook his head in frustration. “Stupid ass,” he said.

“Right, because you’re a real Einstein,” Carter said, he pushed himself up enough to grab the sweats out of a drawer in his desk and toss them over. “And put some pants on--” 

Gavin rolled his eyes, mockingly quoting, “Man of position, blah blah,” as he did. 

“I’m the mayor, naked people in my office is frowned upon,” Carter said. “And not nearly as hot as it could be--you should grow tits.” 

Gavin flipped him off but pulled on the pants and laid on his back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. After a moment Carter leaned his head back so it bumped against the fridge. 

“You still haven’t given me an answer, you’re like a fuckin’ fortune cookie written by a beetle.” 

Gavin wrinkled his nose. “Bugs are not good,” he said.

“Thank you for that wonderfully insightful answer, give me four to seven business days to process it properly and get back to you o-wise one.” Gavin pushed himself up so he could glare properly, Carter squinted at him. “You know what you are?” 

“No, please--tell,” he said flatly.

“An STD,” Carter said, leaning back again. “You just won’t go away.” 

Gavin frowned and shrugged like he did when he didn’t understand something. 

“A disease you get from fucking,” Carter explained. 

“So you had fun getting me?” Gavin said, with a grin. 

Carter rolled his eyes. “You were trying to kill us, I almost killed you.” 

“Yeah,” Gavin agreed, laying back down. Carter waited for him to explain more, but he didn’t. He breathed a laugh despite himself. 

“I think you’re the only one who manages to actually piss me off so much,” he said. 

“Lucky me.” 

“Beetle.”

“Man-baby.”

“Well that one’s new, where’d you get it?” 

“Mark.” 

“When were you hanging out with him?” 

“My business.” 

“Oh fuck off, like you give a damn about privacy.” 

“You are stupid, it’s different.” 

“No, actually it’s not--I managed to survive almost three decades before you showed up, I think I can make it a couple of hours without supervision.” 

“Wrong.” 

“Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve fucked anyone. Hard for that to happen when I’ve got the worlds biggest, dumbest ankle monitor glued to my leg at all times! No--you don’t get to look smug about that, your possessiveness is not cute in any world. Don’t shrug at me--I will skin you and use your pelt for aftercare.” 

Gavin growled at him, eyes flashing violet, but it wasn’t nearly as intimidating while he was human. Hell it wasn’t even that intimidating when he was a wolf. It was a little surprising when Gavin suddenly lunged at him, successfully knocking him over and sitting on his chest so he could rifle through the fridge. 

“Hey! I just said--god how the hell do you weigh so much get--off--fucking--!” He groaned and stopped struggling as he realized it was useless, Gavin grinned down at him and slurped noodles obnoxiously. 

“I cannot stand you.” 

“Yum,” Gavin said as he dropped a peanut on Carter’s face. Carter smacked his hand away, and then sobered a bit. 

“Are you actually ever going to explain anything? Because if you’re just going to keep being cryptic let me know so I can rub it in your face when you finally crack.” 

Gavin chewed thoughtfully for a moment. “No explanation,” he said, then he grinned. “My business.” 

Carter scowled, reaching up and flicking his forehead. “Ass,” he said. 

“STD,” Gavin corrected, already focusing back on the stolen pad thai. 

“At least tell me why you won’t shift in front of anyone else,” Carter said. Gavin’s jaw clenched, “You stole my lunch, you owe me,” Carter pointed out. 

“Hard,” Gavin said after a moment. “Too many things, easier to handle as the wolf,” he went on. “And, it’s bigger--better teeth.” He bared his teeth to prove his point and Carter rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s way harder to rip out throats as an omnivore,” he said dryly. 

“You don’t like the wolf because I can drag you,” Gavin said with a laugh that made Carter roll his eyes. 

“You caught me,” he said, forcing himself to keep his mouth shut to keep the rest of his thoughts in his head. 

“Stupid,” Gavin said, smiling dopily. 

Carter opened his mouth to retort, but he and Gavin heard the sound of Kelly talking to Cynthia outside. Gavin dropped the box of pad thai and shifted before Carter could blink, and he scrambled up, growling and brushing noodles off the front of his shirt. 

“Fucking asshole,” he snapped, tossing the box at Gavin’s head. He just made a whining noise almost like a laugh and then jumped on the couch as Kelly opened this door while knocking. 

“I picked up a sandwich from Oasis, Robbie ate a few bites but--” Kelly cut himself off as his eyes landed on Carter, who was picking himself up off the ground and glaring down at his stained shirt. “Did you trip?” he asked, unsuccessfully hiding a laugh. 

Carter glared. “Something like that,” he bit out with a significant look towards the wolf on the couch, who was pretending to be sleeping. 

“Well, I’ve still got a few minutes of lunch--Tanner dragged Robbie back to the shop because apparently Gordo set the computer on fire, want me to grab you a shirt?” Kelly asked, still smirking.

“While you’re at it grab me a knife and a tanning rack,” Carter said. “Cynthia!” he called, and she poked her head in the doorway, one brow raised. She scanned the office and followed the trail of noodles from Carter’s shirt to the empty box on the floor by the couch and gave him a flat look. 

“You don’t pay me enough to clean up after you,” she deadpanned. 

“Fuck off,” he snapped, “Just get me a broom or something.” 

“That’s carpet,” Kelly said, dropping the tinfoil wrapped sandwich on Carter’s desk. 

“I didn’t ask you, did I?” 

“Your office is going to smell like peanuts for the rest of your life.” 

Cynthia wrinkled her nose and then wheeled away. 

Carter glared at Kelly. “Weren’t you getting me a shirt?” 

His brother laughed, already turning to leave. “Have fun scrubbing!” he called over his shoulder. 

“As soon as I’m done with this asshole I’m coming for your ass!” Carter snarled back. He turned to the wolf on the couch, who was watching him with one eye open. Carter jabbed a finger at him. “That’s not an empty threat, if this shit doesn’t come out you’re the replacement carpet.”

Gavin just closed his eye and curled up more. 

It made Carter wish he could actually follow through on his threats.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Missed Moments with You

Rating: M

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word Count: 14353

Summary: Almost six months after Baz drunkenly stumbled back into Simon's life, they're still together and happy. Well, mostly. It'd be great if they had more time together, but work keeps getting in the way. Can their relationship survive their real lives?

Read on AO3

Sequel to “Back to Haunt Me”

AN: HAHAHAHAHA I DID IT BITCHES!!!! I FINALLY FINISHED A FIC AFTER MONTHS OF ILLNESS AND WRITER'S BLOCK!!!! Seriously, I could not do ANYTHING for so long. But I was finally able to do this! Big thanks to @carryonmylovelies for all her help and encouragement. She is the best.

Sadly, I couldn't get this to fit into any of my requests. I will try to get to those, I promise. My brain is just not functioning at full capacity and really hasn't for awhile. Hope you enjoy this one tho :)

Disclaimer: I am not a teacher or a psychiatrist. Most of my knowledge comes from being a student and a therapy/psychiatry patient, plus a little research online. This is not meant to be a super duper accurate representation of either. Dramatic License was taken.

———————————————

Simon

Even though it’s soft, I still hear the door close. It’s not like I have super ears. I’ve just been sleeping lightly, trying to stay up until Baz comes back. I hear him quietly take off his ugly shoes, walk towards the room, and open the door. I stay still as he flops down next to me and gets under the blanket. He lazily throws an arm over my side, long nose pressed against my neck. I love when he does this, wraps himself around me. Baz makes me feel so happy.

“Hey,” I say, barely a whisper. “How was the hospital?”

Baz’s groan reverberates down my skin. “Nearly punched a patient’s father in the face.”

“Sounds like the usual.”

“Mhm. Just another day and night at University College Hospital.” He tosses his leg over mine. Sometimes I swear he wants to bloody climb me. “You should be asleep, Snow, it’s late.”

“You’re up.”

“Because I’m a medical resident and my hours are completely insane. You’re allowed the luxury of a mostly normal sleep schedule, take advantage of it.”

I grab his hand over my stomach, weaving our fingers together. “I like waiting for you.”

“Mm.” He nuzzles closer and holds me tighter, then presses a soft kiss behind my ear. I’m in heaven. “Sap.”

“Always.” I kiss the back of his hand. “We should both sleep now, love.”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Night, love.”

I close my eyes, finally sinking into sleep as my wonderful, exhausted boyfriend holds me tight.

———————————————

I’m woken up by my alarm blaring shitty hair metal at top volume. Baz lets out a loud groan into my shoulder.

“Why do you play that rubbish?” he growls. “Why not some nice classical?”

“Because this rubbish wakes me up.” I reluctantly extract myself from Baz’s lovely arms. I hear him roll onto his stomach and spread out in a starfish on my bed. He loves cuddling with me, but he also likes to stretch out his long limbs. I grab my glasses, returning my ability to see properly, then turn around to look at him, and my mouth drops open.

“Baz!” I shout. “You climbed into my bed in your fucking scrubs again!?”

Baz lifts his head slightly and pulls at his light blue scrubs, eyebrows pulled together. “Hm, looks like I did.”

“They’re filthy!”

“No.” He flops back down, face smushed into my pillow. “I washed them yesterday. There’s just a bit of dried blood on my trouser leg. No sick or spinal fluid this time.”

I shake my head, but it’s with a smile. “I can’t believe my neat freak former roommate has developed such low standards of cleanliness.”

Baz makes an annoyed grunting sound before sinking further into my bed. I chuckle and press a kiss to his hairline. He’s already asleep again.

I grab my bathrobe and go into the kitchen, a smile on my face. It’s been five months since Basilton Pitch drunkenly wandered his way back into my life. I never imagined we would see each other again, let alone start dating. But it’s been pretty great. Baz is so much more than I thought he was. I already knew he was brilliant, but he’s also hilarious and kind and utterly amazing. I’m happier with him, and I think Baz is happier with me too.

The only problem is exactly what Baz warned me about when we started dating; he’s insanely busy. The hospital has him on a weird, inconsistent schedule. He’ll sometimes work for over twelve hours then collapse for an entire day afterwards. If that wasn’t hard enough, when this started, I didn’t factor in my own job. Very dumb, considering what I do. When I’m not teaching, I’m usually grading or writing lesson plans, so it’s not like I have a lot of free time either. We once went two and a half weeks without seeing each other. It was awful, but both of us understood. Still missed him though. I miss him a lot. In nearly six months, we’ve been on three proper dates. It’s not that I like fancy dinners and shit, I just like being with Baz. I wish we could be together more.

I stop to give Cherry her morning pet and wet food. She purrs under my hand. Then I make myself instant coffee, the ambrosia of primary teachers, and toaster waffles. I leave some for Baz to heat up later. He has pretty refined tastes, but no one can resist toaster waffles. He’ll probably be up to eat them around noon, when we’ll Skype chat while I have lunch at school. It’s my favourite part of the day. I want it to happen more often.

The phone ringing breaks me out of my lovesick melancholy. Penny’s grinning face stares back at me. I quickly pick it up. “Hey, Pen.”

“Hey Si,” she says, voice crackling slightly. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going alright. Just making myself some shit coffee and toaster waffles.”

“I’m a bit horrified your breakfast habits haven’t changed since uni.”

I scoff very self righteously. “Neither have yours. Last time I visited, you were stuffing your face with pop tarts.”

“You have no proof of that.” I can feel Penny’s glare from across the bloody Atlantic.

“No,” I chuckle. “I guess I don’t. Oh, I did almost get video proof of Baz wolfing down two Big Macs. He finished just after I got my phone out, it was amazing.”

“Ha! Get a video of it when it happens next time, then show me that and I’ll owe you a pint.”

“I’ll try next time we go out.” I slump a little in my chair.  “If we go out...”

Penny sighs in a particular way. It’s the one she uses when she knows I’m down and wants to bring me back up. “Baz still working those long shifts, huh?”

“Yeah, so he’s tired a lot. And our schedules have trouble syncing up. It really sucks and it’s not like either of us have a choice in it, especially him. But still it...it’s like- I just-”

“Part of you doesn’t give a shit about work, you just want to be together more.”

I sink further on the chair, so much so I fear I’m going to melt into the vinyl. “Kinda, yeah. Does that...does that make me a bad boyfriend and person?”

“No, no, absolutely not, Simon. It makes you a normal person who desires their partner.”

“Okay, yeah, sure, but Baz warned me about his job. He told me that he would have insane hours and it would make having a relationship really hard. I told him it was okay, that we would make it work, so I can’t get mad now, right?”

“You’re allowed to be upset that you don’t get to see your boyfriend as much as you wish you could.”

“I guess, yeah.” I shove half a toaster waffle in my mouth. It marginally helps. “I don’t know what to do, Pen. I can’t ask Baz to cut his hours, it’ll mess up his degree and piss off the doctors cause they’ll say he’s ‘not being dedicated’, which is a load of bollocks but it’ll happen. And it’s not like I can change when I work. There doesn’t seem to be a solution.”

Penny sighs. “I don’t know what to tell you, Si. There’s no easy way to deal with this. I think you just have to talk things out.” I groan heavily. “Yeah, I know, you hate talking. But can you think of anything else?”

“No,” I grumble. “Save for just shagging him senseless so we can both let off some nervous stress.”

“Sex doesn’t fix everything.”

“Well, no, but it would be nice to try it period.”

“You two still haven’t slept together?!” she says far too loudly. I hope Micah isn’t home. God, that would be embarrassing. “It’s been months!”

“I know,” I groan, “but we’ve both been busy and tired, especially Baz. Mostly we’ve just been snogging, which is awesome. Baz is a great kisser.”

“Too much information, Si.”

“Sorry, sorry. I like kissing, I’d just like to do...other stuff too.”

“Which is perfectly understandable, and the only way it’s going to ever happen is if you figure out where to go in your relationship. And that’s only going to happen by  talking about it and working something out that both of you can live with.”

I eat another toaster waffle. Again, helps a little, not enough. “That’s hard.”

“And necessary if you want to keep this relationship.” There’s a short pause and I try to speak before Penny interrupts me. “You definitely do want to keep it, right?”

My leg jerks so hard I nearly knock my coffee over. “Of course I do! Baz is kind and amazing and funny and brilliant and I fucking lo-”

We both go silent. I put a hand over my mouth. Holy shit, I can’t believe I almost said that. I haven’t even thought about it before, until now. (Typical, I don’t figure it out until I’m right in the middle of shit.) I mean, I’ve thought about it in a sort of abstract, future way. But not right now, not after only five months together when we spent seven years apart and an equal amount of time hating each other. Could I really be in love already?

“Shit, really?” Penny whispers. “You love him?”

I bite my nails, something I haven’t done since second year of uni. “Uh, I guess, maybe. I don’t know. It’s way too soon and I’m not exactly that experienced in love. I don’t think I can say for sure of anything...”

“Okay. What can you say for sure then?”

“Well,” I stop chewing on my nails, “I know I care about Baz. I enjoy being around him. And I really, really,  really  like him.”

“Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, I can deal with that.”

“Good, stick with that, don’t jump too far. Figure out where you two stand before you start talking about love.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “you’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, similar to Baz. I’m picking a lot up from him, “I know, I know.” My eyes catch the clock. “Oh shit, I’ve got to go right now. If I’m late my kids are going to destroy the classroom.”

Penny snorts. “The trials of a parent of thirty two children.”

“Exactly. Talk to you later, Pen, love you.”

“Love you too, Si, bye!”

The phone clicks off, leaving me hopelessly alone with my thoughts. So, I want to be around Baz more. That’s reasonable, he’s my boyfriend. But neither of us can be around more because of our beloved jobs. I’m going to have to find some solution. But not right now because I’m going to be very, very late. I rush out the door with only the thoughts of the tube schedule on my mind.

———————————————

“Lishie, no,” I say, taking the marker from her hand, “that’s a shared class writing utensil, you can’t chew on it.”

Lishie pouts at me, blinking her big brown eyes. “But Mr. Snow,” she whines.

“None of that, please. If you must chew on something, please use your own pencil.” I lean down to look at her drawing of a castle. “This is your favourite place, huh?”

“Yeah.” She points at her lovely pink palace. “This is my Lishie only place. It keeps my brother out and shoots lasers at bad guys.”

I nod with a big smile. “Both are very important. Nice work.” I turn to Zahir. His drawing is of a beautiful shoreline with a fiery sunset. “And what place is this?”

“It’s the view from my grandparent’s house,” he chirps.

“It looks lovely, Zahir, good job.”

I stand up and check the other kids. They’re all doing wonderfully. I help where needed, handing them markers and giving colour suggestions. Luckily the kiddos are being good today. I don’t think I can handle their particular brand of tornado like insanity right now.

“Mr. Snow, look what I did!” I lean down to Harrison’s level. His picture is of himself with his two Mums holding hands under an abundance of trees.

“It’s amazing, Harry,” I say. “Where are you three in this picture?”

“We’re at the camping ground where my Mums met. They got married at the lake last year. We go there every summer break.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet.”

“Are you married, Mr. Snow?” Rosanne calls out. I hate mean nicknames. They’re a dumb bullying tactic. At the same time though, “Nosey Rosie” is occasionally apt. Not that I’d ever say that out loud, of course.

“No, I’m not married, Rose,” I say calmly.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

The kids start muttering and giggling. I sigh, shaking my head. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend either. But my love life is none of your business, munchkins.”

“A boyfriend?” Liza shouts. “My mum said you probably have a boyfriend.”

I sigh and rub my temple. Well, while her mother is correct, the beautiful and single Ms.Thorn has also made many advances on me. I suppose me being gay rationalises my kind rejections of her. I believe she needs to get over herself.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend.” I hate lying to the kids, but I’m not going to talk about my relationship with them. “Again, my love life is personal.”

Thandi gasps, and leans over to Riya beside her. Her tone suggests a whisper, but her volume shows she absolutely means to be heard. “What if Mr. Snow has a  secret girlfriend or boyfriend?”

They all start chattering away with big grins on their faces. I sigh heavily. There is nothing ten year olds love more than gossiping, especially about their teachers. I’ve caught my munchkins talking about if the football coach and year 11 science teacher are together. (They aren’t. Both Coach Markova and Mr. Saadia have been married for over twenty years. Their husbands are wonderful friends.) I don’t want to become the next rumour on the playground.

“Okay, hush up all of you,” I say loudly. They all quiet down. “It’s not appropriate to discuss my personal life, so you’re going to stop right now, understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Snow,” they reply all at once in a shamed, slightly annoyed tone. It’s one I’m extremely familiar with.

“Good. Now go back to your drawings, or we’ll start the maths worksheets early.”

They all gasp, then go back to drawing. I hear whispers about normal things, like Power Rangers and Disney movies. I sigh and return to my desk, leaning back in the chair. Honestly, even if I did want to answer the kids, I wouldn’t be sure what to say. I do have a boyfriend officially, but I barely see him. Twice a week at best. It’s not his fault, he tries his best. I fuck up more than him honestly. I just wish we could be...more boyfriends? That doesn’t make sense.

My pocket buzzes and I pull out my phone. I’m not supposed to use it during class hours, but the kids are working right now, it’s fine. The text is from Baz. My pulse speeds up like it does every time. But when I open it, my heart drops instead.

Baz [13:40] Hey love. So sorry but I can’t come over tonight. Need to pick up an extra shift. I promise I’ll make it up to you ❤️

I sigh heavily, trying to suppress the disappointment and hurt. It’s not his fault, he’s doing his best. We’ll figure something out. Right?

Simon [13:41] it’s alright love we’ll find another time

Baz [13:41] ❤️

———————————————

“No, no, hold the rock like this.” Baz adjusts my grip. I love his fingers, long and elegant. If he wasn’t a doctor, I think he would make an incredible pianist.

“How does the way I hold the rock change anything?” I ask.

“It helps you get the right angle to skip it.”

I frown in confusion. “I thought the rock’s shape helped with that.”

“Both help. So,” he guides my arm back, “let’s try.”

Baz’s callused fingers caress my bare skin. I let out a shaky breath. God, I shouldn’t get this hot and bothered from Baz just touching me. I’m not some horndog, I can wait for sex. The pent up tension is just...getting to me a bit.

“Now flick it, Snow,” Baz says.

I fling the stone forward. It flies over the pond, sending ripples across the aquamarine water. The stone nearly reaches the other side before finally dropping. I’m grinning ear to ear. When I turn around, Baz is too.

“Wonderful job, love.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “I knew you could do it.”

God, I’m going to melt into a puddle. I peck his lips softly. “Thanks for showing me, love.”

He kisses me back, a bit firmer. I would snog the life out of him right now if we weren’t in the middle of Regent’s Park, apparently a popular relaxation spot for UCLH. We’re surrounded by nurses chatting, residents resting, and doctors smoking cigarettes. (Baz says doctors truly have the least regard for their own health.) We sadly pull apart and take a seat on a bench. I put my head on his strong shoulder, and he throws his arm around me.

“How were psych rounds today?” I ask.

“Awful,” he groans. “Mr. Teversham still refuses to take his medication, and Mx. Joseph is fighting therapy at every turn.”

“Hm, well, you expected this. Any ideas?”

“Mx. Joseph needs to be in therapy without  knowing they're in therapy. Mr. Teversham needs to be sedated so he can’t yell at me anymore.”

I snort. “Not sure that’s legal.”

“It’s not, but one can dream. Both probably need adjustments in their medications but that would affect serotonin levels too much at this delicate stage of treatment.”

“Mm, that sucks. Anything you could do for now?”

“More group therapy and coping techniques, I suppose. Little else we can do.”

I nod thoughtfully. Honestly, I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I try to be interested. It’s important to him so I do my best. 

He slowly strokes my hair. I lean closer to him. “How’s your work going, love?”

“It’s alright. Kids aren’t being too destructive. Oh, I’ve been working on something else though.”

Baz smiles, pulling me closer. “What’s that?”

“A new scone recipe.”

He lets out a joyous laugh, throwing his head back so far some of his gelled hair gets dislodged. I like the way a few raven strands fall in his face. “You seriously haven’t run out of new ones to try?”

I shrug. “Not yet. Maybe one day.”

“And then you’ll start making your own.”

“Probably.” I throw both arms around his torso, squeezing him tight. “I’ll give them to you to try.”

He chuckles softly. “Well, maybe. I have to stay in good shape to keep up with the other residents, and I can’t mess up what little sleep I have.”

I deflate slightly. Right, he’s gotta watch his health more than me. I should remember that. Bloody hell, I’m a terrible boyfriend. “R-Right. Well, I’ll make something else for you I guess...”

He makes a humming noise, but I can’t tell what it means. I’m horrible at non-verbal cues and unfortunately Baz is still no exception. I want to ask him about being around, about us being together, but the words get all tangled in my throat. I don’t know how to ask him without sounding like a selfish arse. 

(Maybe I am a selfish arse. Maybe I don’t deserve this, deserve him.)

(No no, Simon, stop it, stop with the self deprecation.)

(Even though he is better than me...)

I’m about to open my mouth when two clashing beeps ring out. Baz and I scramble to our phones.

“Fuck,” I groan. “Emergency staff meeting in twenty minutes. I’m gonna need to get a cab.”

“Me too,” Baz sighs. “Dr. Dehnavi wants to talk to me about a new inpatient. I suppose I should be flattered, but I’m more annoyed.”

“We’re both suffering it seems.”

“Apparently.” Baz leans over and pecks my lips. I lean forward, just slightly, asking for more that I can’t have right now. “I’ll text you later, love.”

“Yeah, me too.” We dash off in different directions. The questions I have still hang in my throat, but I put them down for now. Next time. Maybe...

———————————————

Thursday April 21

Baz [06:06] Hi, love. I’m finally done my night shift. We still on for the cafe this afternoon?

Simon [07:01] hey sorry I didn’t get this until now. unfortunately i’ve got some last minute extra tutoring to do with Sasha sorry 

Baz [07:02] It’s alright. You free Friday night?

Simon [07:02] nah got grading ☹️ gotta go to class ttyl!

Baz [07:02] Alright, talk to you later.

———————————————

Sunday April 30

Simon [17:37] hey baz can I come over tonight?

Baz [17:58] Unfortunately not. I’m on call for OBGYN all night. Lots of sitting with tiny sick babies in the NICU...

Simon [18:05] fuck that doesn’t sound fun at all ☹️

Baz [18:06] Absolutely is not. I’ll text you later okay?

Simon [18:06] Okay ❤️

———————————————

Wednesday May 8

Baz [22:24] I miss you

Simon [22:24] I miss you too

———————————————

My phone rings at lunch. Baz’s slightly smiling face looks right back at me. I took the photo one night when we were watching telly. He’s got his hair all piled up in a bun, wearing an LSE sweatshirt. He looks gorgeous, as always. I’m so entranced by the picture that I answer it just before the last ring.

“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” Baz replies, sounding extremely tired. (He’s been sounding like that more and more lately.) “How’s your day been?”

“Not too bad. Joey fired a spitball at me, but I took the straw away pretty quickly.“

“Dear Lord, you teach monsters.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Nope, just children, love. They’re naturally nightmares.”

“Don’t have to tell me, Snow, I have four younger siblings.” He sighs, and I can imagine him tilting his head back, hair falling down behind him. It’s a nice image. “Are you free next Friday?”

“Hm, let me check.” I look at my Google calendar, which is filled to the brim with multicoloured event tabs, everything from field trips to when lesson plans need to be done. (I consider the second one more a guideline than a rule.) Friday is surprisingly blank. A grin breaks out across my face. “Yeah, Friday is good. Got something in mind?”

“Well, I finally have a Friday off. So I was thinking we could dress up and go somewhere nice. Somewhere with fine food, candles, a generally romantic atmosphere. Does that sound good to you?”

I can’t help biting my bottom lip like some stupid teenager. I haven’t seen my boyfriend in person in nearly three weeks, sue me. Sure there’s been some texting and calls and Facetimes, but none of that compares to the real thing. I’ve missed how Baz’s long fingers feel between mine, or the way he cups my cheek perfectly when he kisses me. I just want to be with him. And finally we have a chance.

“That sounds very good. And uh...” I take a pause to muscle up courage to say what I really,  really  want to say. “Do you want to go to my place afterwards? And sleep over? But y’know...not sleep?” Baz snorts. My cheeks are probably bright red. I groan and rub my forehead. “Sorry, that sounded dumb. I’m an adult, I should be able to talk about sex openly.”

Baz sighs in his strangely affectionate way. “Well, we both know you’re not the best with words, Snow.”

I chuckle and shrug. “Okay, true. But the message still got across right? What I’m asking? But please don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to ask if we could try...”

“Yes, it definitely did. And I would love to try. I think six months is a long enough wait. And I’m really sorry about that.”

“Don’t blame yourself, love, we’ve both been pretty physically absent. Life has just been nuts for us.”

“Agreed. So it’ll be nice to...unwind a bit.”

My face is absolutely bright red now. A lot of inappropriate thoughts are racing through my head right now. I have to shove them down so my brain doesn’t start dribbling out my ears before I have to go back to teaching.

“I-I would like that a lot too.” And of course the first lunch bell decides to ring just then. I groan loudly. “Fuck, lunch is over. Kids will be back soon. Text you later to set up details?”

“Sounds good. Bye, darling.

“Bye, darling.”

I listen until Baz hangs up, then press my phone to my chest with a sigh. I feel so unbelievably giddy. It’s ridiculous, really, to be this excited about a dinner and (possible) sex. But for some reason, my chest is so full it's about to explode. I want to run around the room, shouting to the heavens that I’m going on a lovely, romantic date with Basilton Grimm-Pitch.

Fuck, maybe I really am love. That’s a terrifying, wonderful thought.

———————————————

“Does my hair look alright?” I tousle it to the left, then to the right, then to the left again. Penny sighs and shakes her head on my screen.

“It looks fine either way. But if you don’t decide soon, you’re going to be late!”

I groan and tighten my tie, trying to see myself in my tiny image in the corner. “I know, I know, I just want this to be perfect.”

“Nothing can be perfect, Si.”

“Yeah, but I can try.” I sigh, buttoning my grey suit jacket. This is the one nice suit I own, and I took great precautions to keep it from getting wrinkled on my way to work. “So much hasn’t gone right or easily in our relationship. I want one thing to not go down the drain.”

Penny nods thoughtfully. “Understandable. Just also be realistic.”

“Yes, I will.” I check my watch (a graduation gift from Penny that goes really well with my suit) and inhale sharply. “Shit, I really do have to go. Bye, Pen!”

She waves with a big, toothy smile. “Bye, Si, good luck!”

“Thank you!”

We press the red button at the same time. I tuck my phone into my jacket, then do a last cursory look at myself. No wrinkles? Check. Dashingly messy hair? Check. “Supplies” for later waiting in my bedside table at home? Absolutely check. Awesome. I’m so bloody excited I could seriously start flying right now.

“M-Mr. Snow?”

My head head whips around at the small, familiar voice. It’s Jeremy, with his wavy brown hair and little freckles. He’s sniffling, wiping his nose and blood shot eyes. I immediately rush forward and get on my knees in front of him.

“Jeremy? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

He makes a big sniff, more tears falling down his cheeks. “M-My dad was supposed to pick me up outside, but he never came! And Ms. Reinhart tried to call my mum and she’s not answering and I don’t know what to do!”

He breaks out into another sob. He wraps his little arms around my neck, crying into my shoulder. I pat his back, trying to comfort as best I can. Poor kid. I’m unfortunately aware of what Jeremy’s parents are like. This isn’t out of character for them. His dad’s probably off with his college age mistress and his mum is partying late with her friends. From what I know, Jeremy was an accidental teen pregnancy, and now his parents hate each other and resent Jeremy for “ruining” their young lives. (Baz would say something about emotional stunting and projecting and shit.) This is the first time they’ve truly abandoned him though. Poor, poor kid.

“Is there anyone you trust who could come get you?” I ask quietly.

“My aunt,” he sniffles. “But she’s super far away.”

“Okay, where does she live?”

“L-Luton, I think.”

Fuck, he’s not exaggerating. Luton is an hour away on a good day, and it’s the middle of London rush hour. His parents may be able get here before her, but she’s probably much more stable than both of them put together.

“Alright. Do you know her number?”

Jeremy nods and moves off my shoulder. He pulls out a cheap flip phone. One of his parents probably gave it to him for emergencies. That’s one good decision on their part. He then hands it to me. The contact is listed as “Auntie Caroline.” I stand up and press dial, Jeremy still clinging to my leg. It only rings twice before it’s picked up.

“Jeremy?” a seemingly female voice says, sounding utterly frantic. “Are you okay, love?”

“Hi,” I say, “I’m Simon Snow, Jeremy’s teacher. Don’t worry, he’s here with me, he’s safe.”

She lets out a very deep sigh. “Oh thank god. Is there something wrong?”

“Unfortunately, yes. His father was supposed to pick him up but hasn’t shown, and his mother isn’t answering her calls.”

“Those bastards,” she growls. “My brother and his good for nothing wife have already put him through hell, but this just takes the bloody cake!”

“Believe me, I agree with you. Considering our shared opinion, I was hoping you could come pick him up? I know it’s a lot to ask this late and you’re all the way in Luton but-”

“Don't have to ask me twice. I’ll be there as soon as I can. But it’s going to take me an hour, maybe two.”

I think about Baz, about everything we have planned, about every missed connection these past few weeks. But then I look down at Jeremy, who has the most tragic expression I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. I sigh heavily, then put the phone back to my ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with him at school until you come. Let me give you the address.”

I rattle off the school’s address, my room number, and the best route to get here. She listens raptly, obviously scribbling it all down.

“Alright, got it. Thank you, Mr. Snow, this means so much to me.”

“No problem, see you soon.”

The line clicks off. I get back down in front of Jeremy. “Your aunt is going to be here soon, Jer. Until then, we’re gonna stay here and sit tight. Okay?”

Jeremy nods, wiping away more snot. “O-Okay.”

“Awesome. How about you go sit in the reading corner and I’ll join you in just a sec.”

“Okay.” He throws himself at me, hugging me tight. “Thank you, Mr. Snow.”

I smile and pat his head. “You’re very welcome, Jeremy. Now go read and get your mind off all this.”

He pulls away and runs over to the reading nook, throwing himself into the neon pink bean bag chair. He grabs a Harry Potter book. Good pick, it’s something he’s familiar with. Though I hate to think how much he relates to the way Harry grew up.

I go to my desk on the other side of the room and take my phone out. Baz’s beautiful contact picture stares back at me, and my heart twists painfully. I hate this situation. I hate that I’m doing this again after nearly three bloody weeks of no physical contact. I can only hope he can understand. And forgive me. The other end rings three times. 

“Hey.” Baz’s honey sweet voice is both comforting and painful right now.

“Hey,” I sigh.

“Oh no, that’s not a good ‘hey,’ is it?”

“No, unfortunately, it’s not.” I run a hand through my hair. “Remember Jeremy? One of my kids?”

“Yes, the one with the arsehole parents.”

“Yeah, that’s him. And tonight his parents have really taken the cake. Dad was supposed to be here but is probably off shagging his barely legal mistress, and mum is probably out clubbing and not picking up either.”

“Bloody hell, what a nightmare.”

“Exactly.” I slump into my chair, tugging my tie loose. “His aunt’s coming to pick him up, but...she lives in Luton...”

It’s Baz’s turn to sigh deeply. “And you’re going to have to stay with him until she gets there.”

God, I'm such an arsehole, and a predictable one at that. “I’m so, so sorry, Baz. I really wanted to go out tonight, and I know you don’t get many days off. This is such an out of the blue thing and I can’t just leave him. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s alright, Snow, I understand. I’ll hold you to that promise, okay?”

“Please do. I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“That’s good. Bye, love.” The tinge of sadness in Baz’s voice fucking kills me.

“Bye, darling.”

He hangs up, and I hang my head with a quiet groan. I’m such a dickhead. I could’ve left Jeremy with Ms. Reinhart and went on my date, but I know she has a sick mother at home that she takes care of. Then I would have ruined the date by feeling all guilty and shit. I hate that this is probably the best choice.

“Mr. Snow?” I turn to Jeremy. He’s looking at me with a furrowed brow and pout. “Are you okay?”

I shove all my guilt and worry deep down, and put a big smile on my face. “Yeah, I’m good, Jer. Now how about you read some Harry Potter to me? I’d love to hear it.”

A grin breaks out on his face. “Okay.”

I leave my jacket and tie on my desk and stride over to him. I sit in the beanbag next to him. (Of course I didn’t get these things just for the kids.) Jeremy opens the book to his page.

“Chapter 12,” he starts with gusto

And I sit there listening to him for God knows how long. I laugh, make comments, correct his pronunciation when needed. I'm still a teacher after all. Then when the chapter is done, we watch silly animal videos on my laptop. I make sure Jeremy is happy. He deserves that after all of this. He needs to feel safe. I just wish it wasn’t at the sacrifice of Baz getting stood up,  again. God, am I ever going to get to see my boyfriend again? Is the universe ever going to let us have a moment together? I can’t really blame the universe though, I guess. This was my choice. I’m awful. Baz doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve him, honestly.

Soon enough, a middle aged woman with long pink and purple hair sticks her head through the door at the other side of the room. “Hello?”

Jeremy grins and drops the book immediately. “Auntie Caroline!”

Caroline grins and catches Jeremy right in her arms, holding him up high. I walk to them but keep a good distance. “Hey munchkin, good to see you. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Snow stayed with me. We watched kittens!”

“That sounds awesome.” Caroline turns to me. “Thank you so much, Mr. Snow. Is there any way I can repay you?”

I wave my hand. “Don’t worry, no payment is needed. Just glad Jeremy has somewhere to go.

Her face falls slightly. She puts Jeremy down, touching his head. “Can you go get all your stuff, dear?”

“Okay!” Jeremy races off to the cubby area at ten year old speed. It’s a unique phenomenon. Caroline looks at me with a very serious expression.

“Here’s the thing,” she says in a hushed tone, “I’ve been trying to build a custody case for months, but I haven’t been able to get concrete proof of abuse and neglect. This changes things. If my lawyer needs you to, could you please testify at the custody hearing? I know it’s a lot to ask. You’ve already done so much, so if you can’t, I understand-”

“Say no more.” I take a sticky note from my desk and write out my mobile number. “Here. Tell your lawyer they’re free to call me. I’ll do anything to help Jeremy get somewhere safe.”

She sighs and takes the note. “Thank you, Mr. Snow.”

“Please, call me Simon. Only my students have to use my last name so I can pretend I have their respect.”

She chuckles. “Okay, Simon. It’s no wonder Jeremy says you’re his favourite teacher.”

Well, I don’t need an ego stroke (at least that’s what I tell myself), but...it’s nice. I nod with a humble smile. “Good to know.”

Jeremy runs up, wearing his bright red power rangers backpack. “Ready.”

“Awesome. Say goodbye to Mr. Snow.”

Jeremy gives me a big, full arm wave. “Bye bye, Mr. Snow.”

I tousle his hair, making him giggle. “Bye, Jeremy. See you Monday.”

“See you!” He grabs Caroline’s hand and literally skips away with her. Honestly, I’ve never seen him this happy outside of class. He usually hangs his head and slumps off after hanging around in the cubby area for as long as possible. I know the patter well. It's what I used to do before I went to Watford, when I was stuck in shitty group homes. I hope Caroline gets custody. Jeremy deserves to be happy.

Slowly but surely, I collect all my stuff, from my snot covered jacket to my book bag. I look at my phone, and see a few texts from Baz.

Baz [16:56] Hey, just wanted to reassure you that I’m not upset, I understand. I’ll get another day off eventually.

Baz [18:30] I’ve got some takeout, it’s lovely. I’ll save some for you the next time you come over ❤️

Baz [19:18] I’m going to bed soon. Hope Jeremy gets to his aunt’s safe. Good night, love.

I sigh, my heart feeling like a lead balloon. I absolutely need to make this up to him. I’ll figure something out when my brain isn’t so exhausted. For now, I can at least text him back.

Simon [19:23] Sleep well, love. I’ll talk to you in the morning ❤️

Baz doesn’t reply. He’s probably asleep. Probably...

I walk home with my shoulders slumped and feeling like an utter, utter twat.

———————————————

“I’m a dick,” I groan.

“You’re not a dick,” Penny says. “You did the right thing and kept a student safe. That makes you an incredible teacher.”

“And a crap boyfriend.” I throw my cookie dough on the counter a little too hard. It makes an awful splat noise.

“Well, maybe, but Baz has bailed because of his work as well. And he said he understood.”

I grumble as I roll out little balls between my hands. Baking always helps me calm down. Well, usually. Right now I’m close to crushing each one. “Yeah, I guess, but I still feel super bad.”

“Well, take him out on his next day off.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle darkly, “that’ll probably be in about two or three months.”

Penny sighs, sounding just as defeated as I feel. “That fucking sucks. I can’t believe his schedule is really that insane.”

“He works himself to the bone, because he’s a great doctor and he’s going to be a great psychiatrist. It just means we don’t get a lot of time together, but it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. Both of you need to carve out more time for each other. You’re not the only one who is having issues, Si.”

“Yeah, but like, he can’t help but work more. Being a doctor is more demanding than being a teacher. He doesn’t have control of his hours.”

“Neither do you!” She’s practically yelling. “Being a good teacher means going above and beyond for your students. Therefore, you  have to put in extra hours if you want your students to have a great education.”

I make a semi agreement noise. My non-verbal way of saying she may have a point but I don’t like it. “Okay, maybe. But Baz doesn’t deserve to be neglected because of it.”

“Of course he doesn’t, Si, which is why you have to make time for him. And he has to do the same for you if you want this relationship to work.”

“I know you’re right, Pen, I just don’t know how.”

There’s a small pause, and I can imagine Pen stroking her chin like the old scholar she is in spirit. It’s comforting to think of. Penny thinking was a staple of the best parts of my childhood.

“What time is it where you are?” she asks.

I look down at my watch. “Uh, about 11?”

“Good. Finish what you’re baking, bring it to the hospital, surprise Baz with home baked treats. Then see if you can get Baz to go to lunch with you. If not, at least give him something to eat during his insane shift. Try to talk to him or ask him to talk about all this later. Sound doable?”

I’m grinning so wide it threatens to dislodge my earbuds. “Yeah, definitely sounds doable. Thanks, Pen.”

“No problem. Si. Now can I run this new lesson plan by you?”

“Absolutely, go ahead.”

Penny starts rattling off her curriculum points while I throw the cookies in the oven. And for the first time today, I feel good. I feel hopeful. It’s nice. I’ve missed it.

———————————————

UCLH is a towering, intimidating giant of white metal and panes of glass. It’s hard to not feel freaked out looking at it. Anytime I went to the hospital as a kid it was because of a fight at the group home or injuries from particularly awful foster parents. There was never a good reason to be here. Until now, that is.

From what I remember, Baz said he would be on psychiatry today. Problem is, I have no idea where the fuck that is. I can barely navigate my tiny school. This is an entirely different, far more sterile beast. I walk to the front desk where a man with big round glasses and very cool arm tattoos is sitting.

“Hi,” I say cheerily as possible.

“Hello,” he replies with a perfect, pearly white smile and a thick American accent. “How can I help you today?”

“Uh, I’m looking for the psychiatry wing? Specifically for Dr. Grimm-Pitch.”

“Okay. Are you a patient...?

“No, no, I’m his boyfriend. Got some stuff to drop off for him if he’s not too busy.” I hold up the Christmas tupperware filled with raspberry and white chocolate chip cookies. They’re Baz’s favourite.

The man’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, you’re Basil’s boyfriend?”

“Yeah, last time I checked,” I chuckle.

“Wow. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Shepard, from Omaha, Nebraska.” 

He holds out his hand, and I of course shake it. “Nice to meet you, Shepard from Omaha, Nebraska. I’m Simon, from uh, Lancashire, I guess.”

“Good too meet you too, man.” He leans his cheek on his hand. “Y’know, Basil has mentioned you exist a couple times, but won’t say anything else no matter how much I beg him.”

I shrug with a smile. “He’s a private person.”

“Yeah, but if I were dating you, I’d be bragging about it.”

Well, now my face must look utterly ridiculous. I’m twenty five years old and blushing from one compliment. “T-Thanks, wow. You’re pretty forward.”

He throws his head back laughing. “Nah, just blunt, man. And way too nosy, at least according to your boyfriend. Says I have some sort of anxiety fueled need to overshare and figure out everything about people."

"That...sounds odd."

Shepard shrugs. "Pretty sure it's made up. Besides, I already have two therapists. Don't need a third one." He laughs, and I laugh along with him. Thought part of me is truly concerned about him. Hope he's okay, he seems nice. "Anyway, I hope Basil is less intense outside of work than here.”

“Most of the time, yeah. He’s got his softer side, just has trouble showing it.”

“Believe it when I see it. Also,” he hands me a pamphlet, “psychiatry is on the fifth floor. Take the south elevator up and turn to the right. Basil should be at the front desk. Said he had patient files to sort all day.”

“Awesome, thanks.” I take out a cookie and hold it out to him. “Here, you can have this, unless you’re allergic to berries, gluten, or dairy.”

“Nope. I will happily take that.” He plucks it from my hand. “Thanks, man. Tell Basil I say hi, and I still have his pen.”

“Will do, thanks!”

He waves me off with half the cookie already in his mouth. Interesting guy. I may have to come back to talk to him more.

I follow Shepard’s instructions as best I can. Though I get lost trying to find the elevators,  twice. The halls twist and turn and loop back in on themselves. Seriously, who designed this hospital, Willy Wonka? Eventually I finally make it to the elevators and suffer in the sanitizer smelling tube for five floors. The psychiatry floor itself isn’t too bad, just kind of bland. Lots of blank grey walls and inoffensive paintings of scenic nature. And it’s pretty straight forward compared to the first floor. I just have to walk down the hall, turn at the “front desk” sign, and there will be-

I freeze in place. There’s Baz, with some redheaded guy leaning on his desk.

“Come on, Basil, you can’t be serious,” he says in a smooth, beautiful voice. “I’d totally shag Dr. Mayer over Dr. Dehnavi. Mayer has such polished charm.”

“Hm, I prefer a more ruggish look,” Baz replies with a half smile. “And Dehnavi gets that wonderful five o’clock shadow after a day of rounds.”

“True, very true. Not so hot when he’s yelling about oral board prep.”

Baz lets out a laugh, shaking his head. Wisps of black hair fall in his face. He looks at the redhead with a sly smile. “Well, I haven’t gotten to that point yet. But I do get an earful about SSRI dosage levels.”

“Oh lord, you’re giving me baby doctor flashbacks, stop. I’m scared Dr. D is going to be on the other side to yell our asses into submission.” 

They laugh together, and redhead moves closer to Baz, their hands nearly touching. My heart drops to the ground and burrows into the centre of the fucking Earth.

Baz looks at ease, content, and most of all, this guy seems to understand what the hell he’s talking about. Definitely more than I ever have. And he’s super bloody attractive. And he’s there, like I haven’t been. Fuck. Deep down, I thought this was going to happen, but it’s still ripping me apart. Baz has found someone better. I’m just the stupid poor orphaned kid he had a crush on in school. Now he’s gotten those old feelings out of his system and he’s found someone, another doctor no less, who can easily be a better boyfriend. Bloody hell, I’m about to cry. I need to go, right now.

I quietly and quickly get away. Going back through the hospital is a blur. And not just because my eyes are filled with tears and fogging up my glasses. My brain is a jumbled, heartbroken mess that can’t focus on anything. I think Shepard waves at me as I walk past but I can’t bring myself to respond right now. I don’t stop moving until I throw myself into my car, tossing the cookies on the front seat.

Finally, I have to stop. And worse I have to think. So, Baz has found a new guy. Some pretty red haired doctor who makes him laugh with doctor humour and probably doesn’t bail. He’s probably going to break up with me today. I should just break up with him, save him the hassle...

I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles are white. My cheeks are raw from wiping tears away. I think about losing Baz, losing a chance to make things better, and it's the worst pain I've ever felt. A small part of me thought that maybe Baz was it. That he was the person I could actually, possibly spend the rest of my life with. Maybe it was a stupid thought. I was so stupid.

My head falls forward, forehead pressed against the wheel. And I just cry.

———————————————

I’ve called in sick for a week. I’ve never called in for that long, not once in my teaching career. But I can’t get off my couch, let alone leave my flat. I’ve been laying here for days, surrounded by takeaway wrappers, watching old Dr. Who episodes, cuddling Cherry nonstop. Penny is probably worried about me but I haven’t really been using my phone. I’ve tried to call Baz a few times, but always hang up before it starts dialing. I know I should just rip off the band-aid already. But I’m a coward, I guess. I’ll just lay here, waiting for Baz to call me and finally dump me. Every time I think about it, I still cry a little.

The phone rings and my heart gets so tight I can hardly breathe. Fuck, this is it. I slowly lift it up. But it’s not Baz’s photo I see, or Penny’s. Rather, it’s Agatha’s, grinning with her soft California tan. I press talk right away.

“Hello?” I say

“Oh thank god,” Agatha sighs, “you’re alive. We were all sure you’d been in a horrible accident or something!”

“Um, no, I’m fine, just a little under the weather.”

“Then why haven’t you been answering your fucking texts, you arse?!”

I move the phone away from my ear slightly to avoid hearing loss. “I told you, I’ve been sick. Haven’t felt like responding...”

“Okay, that excuse could work on Baz or even Penny, but I’m not buying it. Cut the crap, Simon, what’s wrong?”

I sigh, running a hand over my face. Well, she’s here, and I’m too tired to make up another lie. “Baz is breaking up with me.”

“What?!” I move the phone again. Agatha is going to make me go partially deaf in one phone call. “That dickhead! I- Wait, what do you mean is?”

“Well, uh...he hasn’t dumped me yet...”

Agatha takes a pause. I can imagine her expression right now. Probably a lot of confusion mixed with disbelief. “Okay, please explain this to me, because I’m so lost.”

I sit up, scratching the back of my neck. “Well, um, Baz and I have been having issues meeting up for the past month. Things kept happening. Baz had this wonderful date planned after three weeks of not seeing each other. But then a kid from my class needed someone to stay with him because his stupid parents wouldn’t show up and we had to wait for someone else. So I cancelled and Baz said he understood but I still felt awful. Then the next day I was going to bring him cookies to say sorry, but when I got there, I saw him chatting with this redhead doctor. And I realised Baz had found someone better. Hoped it wouldn't happen but yeah, he’s going to break up with me. Just waiting for him to call or come over. I’d do it myself but I’m too much of a wimp.”

There’s a long drawn out silence. The only sounds are the California waves on Aggie’s end and Cherry meowing for attention on mine. More than ever, I wish I was a mind reader. I want to know what’s going through her head. It’s probably less muddled than mine.

“Simon,” she says slowly, “I need you to know that I’m only saying this because I love you very, very much. This all comes from a place of caring.”

“Uh...okay?” Now I really need to know what’s in her head. But I think I’m about to find out.

Agatha takes a few deep breaths, and then, well...explodes. “You absolute, goddamn fucking numpty! You’re seriously throwing away objectively the best relationship you’ve ever had because you saw him chit chatting with some redheaded twat!? For Christ’s sake, Simon, this is beyond idiotic and self destructive!”

“Hey I-”

“Shush, Simon!” I shut my mouth. “I get you have some serious self esteem issues, Si, but what happened to acknowledging and dealing with them? You are not a warm body for Baz until he finds someone ‘better.’ He’s been pining after you since bloody Watford and being with you is his dream come true. I know because he’s told me so!”

My cheeks flush a little. “R-Really?”

“Yes, really! He adores you, Si, he thinks you hung the bloody moon. In no world would he just up and dump you!”

“I-I mean, yeah, but like, I’ve been an awful boyfriend lately. I wouldn’t blame him if he did...”

“You really think Basilton Pitch, king of overthinking and future psychiatrist, would dump you without first trying to talk?”

“Um, well, I can see your point.”

“Good. I promise you, Simon, he doesn’t want to break up with you. But if you don’t talk to him soon, it may be too late. So get your arse in gear and get your guy. Or I’ll come from all the way across a continent and an ocean just to smack you upside the head.”

I chuckle softly. Huh, this is the first time that’s happened in awhile. Feels good to laugh. “Okay, will do. Thank you, Ags.”

“You’re very welcome, Si. Please send me an update later so I know you’re okay? And Penny too so she doesn’t blow a gasket.”

“I promise. Talk to you later?”

“Talk to you later, Simon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The second my phone is off, I jump up. I’m invigorated with new energy, both happy and terrified. I may have just ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I’m insecure as fuck. I’ve got to fix it. Before it’s too late.

I pick up all the takeaway containers at lightning speed. They don’t all fit into my trash though (God that’s sad), so I have to get a new trash bag. At least I don’t have a depression nest anymore. That’s a good start. Next step, I run to the shower. I smell fucking ripe. No way I can apologize while smelling like the bottom of a McDonald’s dumpster. Thank every god that I still have some hot water left. I scrub quickly and furiously until I stop feeling so gross.

I jump out and go to my room. Unfortunately, I haven’t done my laundry in a week either. The only things I have are a baggy pair of jeans and one of Baz’s shirts. It’s soft cream with flower buds on it. For all his dark brooding, Baz has a thing for florals. It smells like him, cedar and bergamot with a hint of hospital antiseptic. I put it on.

I’m halfway through the buttons when I hear my door open and close. What the fuck? Who’s here? Who has a key?

“Snow?” Baz’s voice calls out. “Simon, are you here?”

Oh. Oh shit. I dash out of my room, shirt still half open. I even slide on my laminate floor like a cartoon character. Baz is standing in my entryway. And he looks like a total mess. His hair is disheveled, there are huge dark circles under his eyes, and he’s got close to an actual honest to god beard. We just stare at each other way too long. Until I can find my words again.

“Baz,” I stutter. “Hi. W-What are you-”

“Oh thank god.” He runs forward and throws his arms around me in the tightest hug I’ve ever felt. “You’re alive. I thought you were dead or in a coma or-” He pulls back. His eyebrows are all scrunched up. “Is that my shirt?”

My face starts to heat up. “Um, uh, yeah. Didn’t have anything else. I was going to see you. What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

He scoffs, but it’s with a smile. “No, not really, I’ve been worried sick all week. You weren’t answering my texts or Bunce’s. I was scared shitless. I came here because it was my last resort.” He pushes back my hair, rubbing his thumbs along my temple. It’s downright tender. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.” His hands move to my shoulders. “Where did you go?”

“I, uh-” I hang my head. “I-I did something dumb. And I got super sad and I didn’t know what to do. So I was just here a lot...”

His eyes grow wide. “You were here at your apartment? All week?”

“Um, yeah...”

He steps back and blinks. His face is just blank, and honestly it’s more freaky than him panicking. “You’ve been home alone all week, and didn’t tell me?” I nod slowly. That blank face suddenly morphs into unbridled anger. “What the fuck, Snow?! You couldn’t take two seconds to text me back to let me know you’re bloody alive?!”

“I-I didn’t know you texted.”

“Check your phone!”

I scramble over to my couch and scoop up my phone. I haven’t looked at my notifications out of fear. Oh...oh fuck. 53 missed text messages, and 42 are from Baz. My stomach feels like it’s full of rocks. I really am the worst.

“Oh god,” I say, voice very strained. “I’m so sorry, Baz, I was just so caught up in my shit, I wasn’t checking my phone-”

“Obviously.” He rubs the bridge of his nose. “Why did you come to my work?”

My eyes go very wide and my body becomes very stiff. “Wait, you saw me there?”

“No, but Shepard came to talk to me the next day. He asked if my boyfriend was alright because he ran out looking upset. I was surprised he knew who my boyfriend was, and even more so that you were there. So why were you at UCLH and talk to me?”

“Uh, I wanted to talk to you and say sorry for standing you up. B-But when I came, you were um, talking to this guy...” I curl in myself, rubbing my arm. “And I freaked out because I thought after I fucked up the date you’d found someone better and...were going to dump me.”

I look up, and Baz’s jaw is wide open. He drags his hands down his face. “Oh my god, Simon,” he groans, “after all the time we’ve spent together, I can’t believe you still think that low of me.”

“N-No! I don’t!”

“You thought I would dump you after six months together because of a cancelled date? Which you cancelled to help a neglected child?! I’m not a monster, Snow, I’d never do that.”

“Y-Yeah, I know, Baz. It’s just...” I rub the back of my neck. “When I saw you with him, it made all this shit come up and I totally panicked-”

“I understand that, Simon. But it was one conversation with another guy! Why did you ghost me instead of just talking?”

He sounds less angry, more desperate than anything. But it makes me feel even worse. “Because...because I got scared and anxious and I hated seeing it so much...yeah.”

Baz’s mouth is a thin line. “That’s not a real answer, Snow. Why on Earth did you think the worst of me instead of trying to talk?”

“It’s not about you!” I shout desperately. All the words are so muddled up, I can’t get them out. It’s not Baz’s fault, my brain is just being so unhelpful right now. I wasn’t ready for this talk, fuck.

“What does that mean? You stopped talking to me because you thought I was bloody cheating on you! How is this not about me in some capacity?!”

“I didn’t think you were cheating! I just- I thought- I just got so freaked out because I didn’t want to lose you-”

“You weren’t going to lose me!”

“But I thought I was and that scared me so much because I- well, I-”

“Because what, Snow?!”

“Because I love you, you massive arsehole!”

The room goes absolutely, perfectly silent. Baz’s lips have fallen wide open. I inhale sharply. Oh God, did I really just say that out loud? I clap a hand over my mouth and look down, trying to get my breathing under control. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m such an idiot. Baz is going to dump me for sure. Adores me or not, I’ve probably scared him off. My hand falls down.

“I’m so sorry, Baz,” I say softly. “I-I didn’t mean to say that. It just came out-”

“Did you mean it?” I lift my eyes up slightly. I expect Baz to look horrified, angry, maybe even disgusted. But instead he looks...kind of awestruck? His eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them before. I think about lying, but I don’t think he’s upset. And I have a feeling that if I lie he will be. I think I need to stop hiding my feelings from Baz.

“Yeah. I did.”

His lips fall open even more. And I swear, he’s smiling a little. My heart is beating faster. “Seriously? You...you love me?  In love with me?”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing mind. I nod and take a small step forward. Not crowding Baz, but getting closer. “Yeah. I'm in love with you, Baz. I-I know it’s too soon, but I can’t help-”

Baz cuts me off with the most intense, head spinning, world shaking kiss of my life. He presses the small of my back with one hand and grabs my curls with the other. I literally stumble backwards from it. Baz takes the chance to press me against my hallway wall. Like he’s shielding from the world with his own body. He’s kissing me so hard, so passionately, and I can’t help but melt. 

Is this Baz’s way of saying he loves me too? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t care. This is heavenly to the Nth degree. I’m good at turning off my brain when needed. So that’s exactly what I do.

I push back against Baz with equal force. He groans so deeply it makes me shudder. I grip his face tight, pushing my fingers through his tangled but still soft hair. He drags his tongue along my bottom teeth, slowly and carefully. I nearly melt into a puddle. We’ve never kissed like this before. Even our most intense snogging sections don’t come close. It’s like Baz is trying to touch and grab every part of me but can’t decide which. I don’t mind. He can have it. I’d give him all that I am and more. I’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber.

Baz runs his hands down my thigh. I can feel the heat through my trackies. He hooks under one of my knees, pulling it up. I think I get the message. (I hope). I jump, fully prepared to fall flat on my arse, but Baz catches me easily. I wrap my legs around his waist while he holds me up above him. Christ, he’s strong. It’s so hot. And I love this angle, because I can snog the life out of him more easily. This is amazing. But I still want more.

I pull off his mouth (sadly), just enough so I can speak. “Bed?”

Baz just nods and kisses me again. He pulls us off the wall. He barely stumbles as he walks us through my flat. I scramble to unbutton his shirt. I know Baz is really into this because he’s making no fuss about me possibly ruining his clothes. Soon enough, we stumble into my bedroom. Baz quickly kicks the door shut, cutting off the rest of the world, and I don’t mind one bit.

———————————————

Baz and I roll apart solely because we need to breathe. Our chests are heaving. My blankets and sheets are completely tangled around us. I’m more sweaty than the one time I tried to go to a cross fit class. However, this was a way better workout. I’m glad I kept all those supplies in my nightstand.

So, now I know what sex with Baz is like. It’s sweaty, vigorous, a little awkward, and so,  so  incredible. Pretty sure my brains have been thoroughly fucked out. It takes me a few panting moments for me to muster up a singular word.

“Wow,” I say. My voice is really hoarse, but I absolutely don’t mind.

Baz lets out a small laugh. His voice sounds rough too. It’s really hot. “Still very eloquent.”

“Fuck off.” I lightly push his sweaty shoulder. But when I start to pull back, Baz grabs my wrist and tugs me towards him. Before I know it, Baz is kissing me again. It’s soft, slow but so unbelievably hot. I completely melt into his arms. He’s so warm and strong and I could spend an eternity wrapped up in him. No more work or life, just Baz and I in this bed forever. My god that would be a dream come true.

He pulls off to kiss across my cheeks, then down my neck. He already knows the exact spots that drive me insane. (Well, Baz has always been a quick study.) My eyes flutter closed. I’m falling into that haze again, where my head gets foggy and I can only think in “yes” and “please” and  “more.” Part of me wants to sink back into that bliss, but the aching of my out of shape muscles is unfortunately more insistent.

“Baz,” I whisper, “as much as I would like a fourth round, I’d also like to be able to walk tomorrow.”

Baz groans, but relents and rolls onto his back. We settle for just staring at each other. I don’t mind. Baz is always gorgeous but he is a different kind of beautiful right now. His face is all flushed, pupils blown wide, black hair plastered to his damp forehead. And I thought I couldn’t get more attracted to him.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, absolutely.” I cup his face, running a thumb on his cheekbone. “You?”

“I’m bloody fantastic.” He spreads his fingers out on my side, tracing the most delicate patterns that make me shudder. “Can’t believe I was so scared of this.”

My heart beats faster as my eyebrows scrunch up. “Scared? Of what?  Me? I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize, Snow. I wasn’t scared of you, not at all.” He sighs and pulls me a little bit closer. “I just built up sex with you so much in my head that it became overwhelming. I was terrified of fucking it up after wanting it for so long.”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it from the start too. Six months of sexual tension really mess with your head.”

He chuckles. I like the way his breath hits my skin. “Simon, love, I first fantasised about sleeping with you when we were 15.”

I was already flushed, but now I’m on fire. It’s a miracle I’m not a pile of ash right now. I flap my mouth open and closed like a fish for too long. Baz just smiles at me like I’m beautiful or something, not a total deer in the headlights.

“R-Really?” I finally get out. “That long?!”

“Mhm. I told you, Snow, I figured out I wanted you in fifth year. Puberty was a bloody nightmare with you right across the room.” We laugh quietly together. But I genuinely feel bad for Baz. I hold the back of his head, running my fingers through his soft hair.

“I’m sorry you went through that, love. Must’ve been awful.”

Baz sighs, putting his hand on mine. “Thank you. At least things worked out in the end." He pecks the tips of my fingers. "I’m glad we finally did this. Real life was far better than any fantasy.”

I kiss the corner of his smile. He giggles, so small and adorable, something I never would’ve thought Baz was capable of until six months ago. I’m so happy. And my heart sinks, thinking about how this was almost over because I was so insecure.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out, and Baz’s face becomes much more serious. “I-I’m sorry that I vanished without telling you. That was immature and dumb. And I’m sorry for scaring you. I promise I won’t ever do that again.”

Baz nods slowly, mouth twisting from side to side. He brings our hands between us, holding me tight. “I accept your apology. Just, what happened, love? I’m still not sure what you meant.”

Well, I knew this was coming. Doesn’t make it any easier. I clutch him hard, like I’m scared he’ll go. But if the last hour or two means anything, I don’t think he will. Still, I hold him tight.

“That’s a long story,” I sigh.

Baz presses his lips to the back of my hand. It’s firm and comforting. “You can tell me. It’s okay.”

I carefully roll onto my back. Baz goes onto his side, propping his head up with his free arm. We keep our hands together. I really can’t let go of him right now.

“I meant it when I said it wasn’t about you,” I say. “It’s really not. I don’t think you’re a terrible person who would dump or cheat on me. It’s more that...that I was scared and felt worthless. Part of me has always felt worthless, unlovable. Sometimes my brain is like ‘your own parents didn’t want you, why would anyone else?’”

“Simon-”

“You don’t need to tell me it’s not true, Baz, I know. Most of me does, anyway. But sometimes that mean voice gets louder, and it’s been louder lately. Not because of you, not really. It’s because I think you’re incredible and brilliant and that mean voice kept telling me ‘why the hell is he with you? He’s way too good for you. He’ll find someone better.’ And after weeks of missed dates and the whole dinner fiasco, it got worse. Then when I saw you with the other doctor I guess the anxiety just took over. And I just sort of shut down.”

Baz moves closer. “I’m sorry, that’s horrible.”

“Thanks.” I sigh and run a hand through my tangled hair, like I’m trying to pull the stress out of myself. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this. I didn’t want to dump all my shit on you. It’s a lot to deal with and I should deal with it on my own, not pull you in.”

“Simon,” Baz says firmly, holding himself above me, “you can absolutely pull me into your shit. I want to know everything you’re worried and scared about, so I can be there to help if you want. You never have to hide anything because I love every single part of you, no matter how insecure or sad.”

I stare at him for too long. My heartbeat is roaring in my ears. Slowly, a smile stretches out across my face. “You love me?”

Baz’s face pulls together in confusion, and for a moment I’m scared he’s going to take it back, because I’m not worth it. But then I push that fear down because Baz cares about me. He’s shown that again and again. I'm not unworthy of his love.

“Did I not say it?” he says, genuinely surprised and concerned.

“I mean, maybe, but things were a bit...chaotic before.” My eyes flick over to our rumpled clothing strewn across my room. It honestly looks like a tornado somehow hit both a Primark and a Topshop. Baz laughs with a nod.

“Okay, good point. Let me correct that then.” He delicately holds my chin, making sure our eyes meet. Black hair surrounds his face like a dark halo. His deep sea eyes sparkle with his gorgeous smile. Everything about him is absolutely stunning. “I love you, Simon Snow. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, because you are the most kind, most caring, most wonderful man I’ve ever known. You are not a holding place or my second choice. Got that?”

I nod very vigorously. I can’t speak right now, my throat is too filled up with all my emotions for words. I wipe my snot and tears with the back of my hand. Extremely unsexy. God I’m a mess. But Baz still looks at me like I’m the most gorgeous thing in the world, because he loves me, imperfections and all. 

“Don’t cry, love,” Baz chuckles, “it’s okay.”

“Just overwhelmed,” I say, still sniffling, “and happy. I love you too.”

Baz kisses my forehead.  “I know, and I’m very happy as well.” He tucks his head into the crook of my neck. “Not to get all psychiatrist, but these issues of hidden insecurities and fear we both have are going to reoccur if we don’t communicate more.”

I nod, rubbing the arm he has across my chest. “Yeah, I agree.”

“Good.” He rolls slightly, chin placed on my shoulder. “In the name of communication then, I think not seeing each other for weeks on end isn’t good for us. We need to try to meet in person more.”

“Yeah, definitely. I think not seeing you for a while made my anxiety get worse. Thought you would dump me because it was too hard for us to meet up.”

“Honestly,” Baz sighs, “I felt something similar. Not as badly as you, I think, but still not fun. The self deprecating part of me wondered when you would finally get sick of my insane schedule and break up with me. I’m not exactly the easiest person to date. Or the easiest person, period.”

I laugh quietly and tug him closer. "Me neither, love."

Baz smiles all the way to his ears. He kisses me firmly, making my head spin, before pulling me away just as quickly. Our noses stay pressed together. “Suppose we match then, love.”

I throw my arms around his neck. I’m grinning, I can’t stop grinning. “And you like that?”

“I love it.”

“Me too.” I press against his back, reveling in his warm, smooth skin. “I promise to make more time for you. I want this to work. ”

Baz kisses a mole on my cheek. “So do I. I’m in this for the long haul, Simon.”

“Good, because I’m not letting you go.”

“I would love nothing more.”

I grab Baz’s head and smash our mouths together again. Baz instantly returns it, holding me tight. His body is a warm blanket on top of me, protecting me from anything bad in the world. Yeah, I could spend the rest of my life with Baz. I want that so much. Our snogging gets more intense. And each of us can definitely feel our mutual arousal pressed against our thighs.

Baz pulls off my mouth, but only a little. “What happened to needing to walk tomorrow?”

I shrug with a sly smile. “Eh, who needs walking? You can just carry me everywhere.”

He grins once before kissing me hard. I’m truly a lucky guy. And it’s incredible that Baz thinks the same. I’m living a charmed life.

———————————————

Three months later

“Y’know,” I pant, “you could help.”

Baz looks up from his phone, one eyebrow propped up. “Who carried all your KitchenAid hardware to our new place?”

“Okay, yeah, but that was  down the hall, not up four flights of stairs.” I drop another box of books and breathe heavily.

“That mixer was very heavy.”

“Baz.”

He lets out a very dramatic groan, making a show of hanging his head over the back of Penny’s settee. “Fine. I’ll help.”

I don’t miss the joking glint in his eyes. Arsehole. He just likes making a show of it. He kisses my cheek on the way out. I slap his arse, making him yelp, but his smirk tells me he’s not upset at all.

“Are you two flirting?” Penny calls out from the hall. “I told you, my flat is a flirt free zone!”

“No flirting, Bunce,” Baz says. “Just some light groping on Snow’s part.”

Penny groans so loud I’m pretty sure the whole floor can hear her. She walks in with a box filled with figurines. She glares at me viciously. I throw my hands up in surrender.

“I slapped his arse, didn’t grab it.”

“That’s not much better, Si.” She places the box on the ground and puts her hands on her hips. “Focus more on moving and less on your boyfriend’s arse.”

“Aw, don’t be mad, Pen, I’m sorry.” I wrap her up in a tight hug, and she holds me just as close. She’s been doing that a lot lately. I don’t mind. “Y’know, that offer to fly to Chicago and kick Micah’s arse is still on the table.”

That finally makes her laugh. She shakes her head against my chest. “No, it’s alright. I’m mad but not really vengeful. He tried to break up with me, I just wasn’t listening to him.”

“Still not an excuse to start dating someone else.”

“Yeah, I guess," she sniffles. "Thanks for subletting your flat to me."

I kiss the top of her head. "You're very welcome, Pen. Anything for you."

She holds me tighter. I let her hang on to me. It’s the least I can do.

“After all the fuss you made about me helping,” Baz shouts, “now you’re just standing there, Snow? Really?”

I sigh and look up over Penny’s head. Baz is balancing two large boxes because he likes to show off how strong he is. But he’s being helpful, and his strength is hot, so I don’t mind.

“I am comforting my friend,” I say, tone very high and mighty and mocking.

“Yes, but avoiding work must be a plus.”

“Oh, absolutely. And teasing you.”

Penny laughs and pulls back from me, looking at Baz as he puts down the boxes. “As a psychiatrist, you think it says something that even though you’re together now, you two still bicker like in school?”

Baz tilts his head side to side, stroking his chin like a great scholar. “Probably could say something about regressing to old patterns of behaviour from when we were children. But now after time together, working out our issues, and forming better patterns of behaviour, the bickering is now a show of affection rather than true antagonism. Therefore it has transformed into a healthy relationship feature from a bad one. A rare but possible event.”

Penny blinks at him. I’m trying to hide my blush. Don’t really want Penny to know how hot I find Baz being all smart and shit. Still have no idea what he’s talking about, but now I definitely want to rip his clothes off. Penny would kill me though. Murder would not be sexy.

“God,” she chuckles, “you really are a psychiatrist.”

“Yeah he is!” Shepard stumbles in, a box wobbling precariously on his arms. “Either that or he’s a weirdo who enjoys being in a hospital all the time for some reason.” The box tips over. I run up and catch it just in time. “Oh, whoops, sorry.”

“You break it, you suffer Bunce’s wrath, Shep,” Baz says.

“Damn right you do.” Penny walks past him, leveling a look over her glasses. Shepard gulps and watches her as she goes downstairs. And he follows her to help, looking totally out of it.

A pair of familiar arms wrap around my waist. Baz rests his chin on my shoulder. “In my humble psychiatrist opinion, I think our dear American might have a little crush on Bunce.”

I chuckle, cupping his cheek. “I wouldn’t blame him. Pen is pretty awesome.”

“Oh," he says with a teasing lilt, "should I be worried that she’s living down the hall from us now?”

I scoff and roll my eyes like he does at stupid people on telly. “Should  I be worried about you working with Dr. Lamb?”

Baz makes a very unattractive dry heaving sound. “Never. That backstabbing twat can go eat a bag of rusty screws. Only reason I give him the time of day is because he’s got my supervisor wrapped around his stupid finger.”

“And if you piss him off you’ll lose important psychiatry rounds, yes, yes, I know. He’s still gonna try to flirt with you.”

“Yeah, because he’s a twat. But I only want you.” He kisses a mole on my neck, his favourite one. “I love you, Simon.”

I kiss his temple. “I love you too.”

“I love you  so much I’m willing to give up my lovely condo to move into your weird exposed brick hipster building.”

I scoff and turn to him, arms around his slender neck. “Wasn’t it  your idea to move into a bigger place here because it’s closer to both of our workplaces?”

He smiles, kissing the tip of my nose. Bastard. I hated his teasing in school, but he’s right, now it’s out of love. Crazy, stupid, wonderful love. “Since when do you listen to me?”

“You have a good idea every once in a while.”

“How about this one?” He kisses me firmly. When he pulls back a little, my heart is beating rapidly.

“Yeah, I like that one.”

“Good.” We kiss again, soft and slow. Never before have I felt so safe and content kissing someone. Baz can hold me close and make all my worries go away. Part of me still can’t believe I get to have this. A person who adores me completely, including every single weird, flawed, stupid part too. But I have to stop thinking like that. I’m allowed to be happy. I’m allowed to be with someone so incredible. And someone so incredible can absolutely love me back. The work we've both put in to being together shows our mutual care again and again. We deserve to be happy together. It's amazing.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Baz and I pull apart to look at Penny’s glaring face. “We leave you two alone for five minutes and you’re already defiling my apartment?”

“This is still technically Snow’s flat, you know,” Baz says smoothly.

“And you don’t want to know how we’ve already defiled it.” I give the biggest shit eating grin I can.

Penny waves her hands in front of herself. “Nope, nope, I’d rather live in blissful ignorance. Also, Simon," Penny hands me an envelope, "postman came. This is for you. Thought I'd grab it before they accidentally delivered it to me."

I rip it open with ease. Inside is a paper with familiar terrible handwriting. I grin ear to ear. Baz looks over my shoulder. "What is it?"

"It's from Jeremy." I scan down the letter. Luckily I'm adept at deciphering kid writing. "He says he misses me but likes his aunt's place a lot. They garden a lot and he's playing football on a community team.:

"All sound great," Penny says, having moved to the shoulder not occupied by Baz.

"Yeah, definitely. Oh, and he's got a new kitten. And guess what he named him?"

"What?" Penny and Baz say at the same time. It's pretty hilarious but I keep myself from laughing to avoid any glares.

"Snow." I hold up a Polaroid picture of a grinning Jeremy holding a small, fluffy white cat. Both of them can't help but make awing noises.

"Adorable," Baz says. "You did a good job with that kid, Snow."

I kiss his cheek. "Thanks, love."

"I want a cat," Penny sighs. Her nose scrunches up. "Am I going to turn into a crazy cat lady?"

"Hey," I say, "you were the one who told me that was a sexist stereotype. So no, you're going to be a very sane, wonderful, brilliant cat lady." I lean closer, whispering in her ear. "And maybe, once you feel better, you can try talking to a certain American. I think he's got a thing for you."

Penny sticks her tongue out, but before she can respond, Shepard comes stumbling in with a box of china. He places it very carefully. I can see him not so subtly watching Penny out of the corner of his eye. I don't think he wants to piss her off again. “Okay, I think that’s all of it. Wow, a lot of books. Reminds me of my Mom's office back in Omaha.”

"So I remind you of your mum?" Penny asks, arms crossed over her chest. Shepard's eyes go wide. I snort into Baz's shoulder

"No! No, definitely not, I just mean...you're both super smart."

Penny scoffs. "Good answer, American. Now let's get all my books unpacked."

I groan loudly. “Come on, Pen, not today. Why don’t we go to mine and Baz’s flat and we’ll make you dinner?”

“You mean I’ll be making dinner.” Baz raises his eyebrow at me. “You can’t cook, Simon.”

“I’ve been learning!”

He sighs over dramatically. “Very well. You can chop the onions.”

“I’ll take it.” I put my arm on Penny’s shoulders. She leans into me like always. “Come on, let’s eat.”

“Can I come?” Shepard asks, beaming wide. Who could say no to that face?

“Of course! You deserve a reward for all your hard work.”

“Awesome!” He dashes up beside Pen, looking all cute. And I can see Penny smiling, just a little. I’m glad to see her happy.

I put Jeremy's letter in my pocket. It's going right on the fridge the second we get to mine and Baz’s new place. Baz takes my hand in his, weaving our fingers together. He smiles, looking at me from the corner of his eye. I feel like I could fly on the power of love alone right now.

God, I truly have an amazing life.

———————————————

Awwww stupidly in love, just how I like it. Tbh I started writing this before Wayward So came out, and after I decided I wanted to deal with their communication issues like in the book but resolve them. I'm not throwing shade, just stating an opinion, plz don't kill me lol. But I do hope you all liked it! I never planned on writing a sequel but sometimes shit works out like that. I do have another idea for a short one shot but don't hold me to that, life is pretty nuts rn and I don't have a lot of free time, hence why this took me so long. Anyway, have a good day/night y'all!

[destieldrabblesdaily]

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend! 

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag. 

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel… 

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up… 

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’. 

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’. 

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend… 

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

—

Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

—

Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend. 

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.” 

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

—

Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days! 

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

—

If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well: 

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

—

Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here: 

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

—

Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)

[beauty-of-sins]

I hope you warm up to me

College Trissefer. Took me a while but here it is Anon. A dash of Renfi/Triss and Geralt/Jaskier. Hope you guys enjoy it took me quite a while.

Word Count: 5546

Title inspired by: Charlie by Mallrat

And they were roommates  Read on AO3

“I’m Triss Merigold.” the girl said gleefully, her smile full as she greeted her new roommate with an outstretched hand. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”

Yennefer looks at the girl who was a little taller than her, her wavy hair framing her soft face well, and the freckles that were blossoming across her cheeks. Her energy giving off a playful vibe, the type that refuses to slow down. Yennefer could already tell it was going to be a long year.

“Yennefer de Vries.” she said, shaking the offered hand, “ And thank you.” causing Triss to smile even wider.

“Yennefer.” Triss sounded out slowly as if she was tasting it in her mouth, testing the flavor. “I like it!”

Without even asking she takes the bags out of Yennefer hands, walking her to her room. In passing, she was able to see into Triss’s room, seeing that she had already set up most of her things, briefly seeing a couple of stuffed animals on her bed and a drawing pencil on a desk. On the windowsill were several small plants and the walls were plastered with different postures filled with encouraging statements, a rainbow flag hanging proudly on the window.

“You're studying to be a lawyer right?” Triss said, gently placing her things down on her new bed. “I think I’ve heard about you.”

A smirk forms on Yennefer’s face, “I see my reputation proceeds me.”

Triss laughs, “No, Jaskier proceeds you. He always tells everyone about that time you saved him from trouble.”

“You know Jaskier?”

Triss’s eyes twinkling, at the mention of the music major. The junior certainly making an impression during his time at the university.

“Doesn’t everyone?”

Several pings in quick succession sounded throughout the room, disrupting the conversation. Triss pulls out her phone, and reads the message before she chuckles.

“There he is right now.” She looks at Yennefer, “Would you like to come with me?”

Yennefer simply shook her head no, “I’d rather stay here if you don’t mind. I have a lot of things to unpack.”

Triss nods, walking towards the door, “We are going to have a good year, Yennefer!” she says before she leaves giving her one last grin before she is out of sight.

Yennefer said nothing, but gave her a little wave goodbye. She will see about that.

-

It was hell.

Yennefer had woefully underestimated just how social Triss is. Whenever she saw her on campus she was surrounded by people, apparently, one of the founders in the student organization clubs on campus called The Lodge, which she had briefly heard about last year. This meant some of their meetings had to be brought there. However they quickly turned into parties in which she has woken up several times to a nearly destroyed kitchen and several drunk people on their couch. Triss would still be up, taking care of all of them and making sure they got home.

It was exhausting to say the least and was at her wit’s end with it by the end of the week. She has no idea how Triss was getting her studies done while having such a social life. It would have killed her by now. Then, just as quickly as it started, it stopped.

There were no more groups of people in her apartment, no more loud music banging from the walls late at night. Yennefer opens the door one night and sees Triss at the kitchen table, chewing her lips in thought as she tapped a pencil to a forehead, in front of her was a calculator and a worksheet. Triss looked up upon hearing the door open, giving Yennefer a slight nod, before turning back to her work. Yennefer didn’t know what to say at this development but she wasn’t complaining a bit. Yennefer pausing at the door before she enters her room.

“Thank you.” Yennefer couldn’t see the smile that was blossoming on Triss’s face.

-

Triss did not know how to deal with Yennefer. Triss notices she hides in her room committing dutifully to her studies, always declining an invitation to be social. Not out of timidness, the law student having no problem letting her know how she felt, whether verbally or indirectly. If she hadn’t stopped the partying she could imagine Yennefer was going to punch her with the number of glares she constantly received.

 She could see why some people are afraid of her. She, however, was just curious. Jaskier when talking about her spoke about her in awe, always dramatically retelling his famous Yennefer story, while Geralt spoked about her with the utmost respect. He had told her about their brief history together after a while of knowing him and needlessly to say she was surprised. If she was as caring as he said then there was no need for all the apprehension coming from her other friends.

The Lodge, whispers about her like she is Satan herself. Upon finding out who her new roommate was Sabrina and Keira shared a glance before Phillipa pulls her aside, telling her to call if she needs anything like Yennefer intends to murder her in her sleep.

She supposes that they had all heard about the Jaskier incident in which she easily fought off two of his attackers and then showed up to their hearing and using her knowledge of the court system, actually got them a longer jail time than they were supposed too. Triss found it quite heroic. Phillipa rolling her eyes at her confession before mumbling something about bottoms.

After managing to convince the girls they could no longer party at her place. Triss could tell she appreciated the new quiet, Yennefer started to interact with her more.

 They had fallen into a comfortable routine. Triss gets up early in the morning fixing herself a cup of coffee to prepare for a very long day ahead. Yennefer’s door would be slightly cracked open so she could see her, giving a polite smile as she studied over notes from the previous days lecture. Then Triss would be off to her classes, meeting up with Geralt and Jaskier afterward for lunch. Then,  planning something with the Lodge for a social event on campus. Triss would get home around seven, right before Yennefer would finish with her last class of the day.

If she didn’t have any event or any party to go to. They would sit in comfortable silence in the living room both doing their homework, briefly chatting about the events of the day before they both went to bed.

One of those nights she went to one of Jaskier’s parties drinking her weight in liquor.

Geralt escorting her drunk ass back to her room, glaring at anyone who looked at her. Triss fumbling for her key, trying desperately to put it in the slot when the door suddenly opened, causing Triss to fall forward into an unsuspecting Yennefer. Geralt nodding at the women.

“Yennefer.”

“Geralt.”

Triss glances in between the two, feeling the unsaid words that were being spoken between them. She knew exactly what they were thinking about.

“Do you guys want to have a threesome?” She slurred out winking doing the hard work for them. The two glanced at each other agreeing to never mention this ever again.

“She’ll be in good hands,” Yennefer assured, straightening Triss up so she was leaning against her instead.

“I know. Goodnight, you two.” Geralt said, before turning and leaving.

“Bye Geralt!” Triss yells out into the very quiet building, no doubt they were going to have very pissed off neighbors tomorrow. Yennefer quickly shushing her and escorting her back inside.

“Yen. Can I call you Yen,” she murmured, stumbling forward planting down on the couch, throwing her purse to the side and giving her a lopsided smile. “I had so much fun,”

“I can tell.”

She looks around for a trash can to put near Triss in case she needs to throw up.

“We should go together one of these days.”

“I’m not really a party type of girl.” She replies sitting next to Triss, setting the trashcan down, and offering her a bottle of water. 

“Pleaseeeeeeee” Triss begged, sticking out her bottom lip for effect. “Just one.” Yennefer pauses looking down at the drunk girl. She couldn’t see the harm in it. “Fine. Just one.”

“I’ll make sure it’s the best one. I promise. There will be fireworks, good food, a big pool, a-“

Triss rambling on, Yennefer’s face getting softer and softer watching her continue on. Maybe. Just maybe she could try again, just for her.

“Yen,”

She raises an eyebrow, “We’re going to be good roommates, right?” her voice shaky, like she was trying to hold back tears. Yennefer smiling, before gently smoothing her hair down in an effort to reassure her.

“The best.”

 Triss woke up with a hell of a headache, moaning as she sat up on the couch. She pauses, noticing the sleeping form of Yennefer, next to her. She seemed completely relaxed, her hair gently framing her face as she slept against the arm of the couch. It warmed her heart knowing that she had cared enough to sleep out here with her.

She doesn’t remember too much after she and Jaskier had their little drinking competition, which she should have known not to do. It was hard to say no to that little rascal sometimes. She gets up slowly trying not to wake Yennefer and checks the time on her phone. Shit. She’s late for her meeting. Triss finds a pen and writing a quick note for her.

 Yennefer waking up later and finding the note, smiling at it.

“Thanks for everything. ;) I owe you some time.”

 Yennefer thought it was going to be a one-time occurrence but she quickly found out she was wrong. Nearly every night now, Triss was coming up late and getting up early. Which wasn't a problem in itself, a lot of other students did this. But she was doing all of this while she was still partying. Sometimes Yennefer would hear her throwing up in the toilet in the early mornings and whenever she tried to approach her Triss waved her off spouting some excuse about her just getting used to college again.

Triss did do a lot around campus helping the new freshman, her group and just her classes were difficult. Her roommate was running herself ragged, she didn’t know her that well but she did not want to wake up and find her passed out cause she was overdoing herself. She had to talk some sense into her.

It was a conversation she was dreading and she wonders if this how Tissaia felt when she was raising her during her rebellious phase.

Yennefer got out of class early, after their teacher passed back their quizzes.Yennefer pacing back and forth in the living room, rehearsing what she intends to say. She stops at the clicking of the lock.

Triss walks in, clutching on to her temple, sipping on coffee. Her sunglasses still on even though it was well past daytime.

“We need to talk.”

Triss lets out a sigh at her roommates' tone. She was not in the mood for this, she needs to finish her lab report. “Do we have to? I am so tired.”

“I know that's the problem.”

“What are you trying to say?” Triss says, already becoming defensive. “That I hang out too much? I thought you would like that since you love to stay inside and all.”

“People are terrible to be with,” she said, shaking her head. She never could understand extroverts.

“You think I don’t know that,” Triss said, voice low. “Yet, I still keep trying to be social unlike you!”

“Don’t make this about me!” she exclaimed suddenly, startling Triss who backs up a little. “Half of the people you hang out with aren’t even worth the time.” She shoots back, seeing Triss’s face flash with hurt for a second. “Sorry, we can’t all be perfect like you!.”

“I’m not perfect, Yennefer.” Triss seethes, hand tightening around the cup.

“No, you are.” Yennefer says, stepping towards Triss, she seems to tower over the other girl. “ Always wearing a pretty smile. I bet you had everything handed to you in a silver platter.” she hissed, getting closer to her roommate.

Triss reaches up to her face and snatches her glasses off, looking her right in the eye. She was taken aback by the tiredness in her eyes, there were dark circles around her eyes. That was not what surprised her. It was the pure anger in her eyes, never would she thought she would see Triss like this. Maybe this girl has a backbone after all.

“Don’t say shit about me that you don’t know,” she said, her hand twitching by her side. “I’ve been treated shitty my whole life. I don’t let that stop me.”

 Yennefer takes a deep breath. She knows she was in the wrong she could hear Tissaia berating her right now. It's wrong for her to assume.

She continues. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”  She watches the anger leave out of the girl's eyes at the apology. “ However Triss, this is not healthy for you. You know this.”

Triss says nothing, before closing her eyes. “I know. I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

She makes a move to walk further into the apartment, but couldn’t quite do so with how utterly exhausted she was. Yennefer didn’t say anything, gently guiding her back to her bedroom.

“I think me and you are more alike than you think, Yen.” she said, before Yennefer left her room. Yennefer paused at the doorway.  

“I think so too.”

-

It seemed they both had judged each other too harshly. Triss making an active effort to slow down and assigning more things to other members of the Lodge and actually made time for herself.

It was actually the argument that spurred them to hang out more. They began to have little dinners together, which was Yennefer’s idea. She got tired of seeing Triss just consume coffee and fast food. It felt oddly domestic, the two of them in the kitchen trading stories and laughter, as they made their meal. It felt right even though neither of them could explain exactly why.

After that, Yennefer began tagging along with Triss, on her errands- going grocery shopping, buying items for events, and meeting some of her friends.It was nice to get out. If she had to be honest she was getting a little stir crazy. Her grades stable enough to where she was comfortable relaxing just a tad bit. It was a small world, after all, being introduced to members of The Lodge, specifically remembering Phillipa who was also a law student, glaring at her the entire time. Yennefer smirked at her knowing she was still upset that she had lost a mock trial for class and lost her position as the best student in the class.

She dressed up for court multiples times in her classic suit and tie for her internship at Cintra law firms. This was the only time, Triss got shy, refusing to meet her eyes every single time she wore it. Sometimes she wore it just to see her flustered(but she would die before admitting that).

Triss was a fun person to hang out with she had to admit and even more entertaining to be a roommate too. Sometimes she would catch her dancing to a song, singing to it in the kitchen while she makes breakfast, always encouraging Yennefer to join in. Or sometimes she would hear her gently singing to her plants in her room, wanting to see them grow. It was-if she dare say it adorable. She felt herself relax around her, obliging whenever Triss wished to know more about the cases she was studying. Triss sitting next to her as she discussed a case, happy that someone was interested in her favorite topic.

Triss was a whole bundle of things but she did not expect her to be a smoker. She was surprised when she invited her one night to go with her. They drove to a clearing on the outskirts of town and smoked a blunt together. Yennefer relaxing as a familiar haze began to set in. The stars blazing and beautiful as they laid back against the blanket, touching shoulder to shoulder.

“Triss Merigold. Aren’t you full of surprises?”

“I think you have even more than me.” She said before passing the blunt back to Yennefer, exhaling through her nose.

“Don’t take any offense by this. But you don’t seem like the type to do this.”

Triss shrugs, not bothered by the statement before a little smile grew on her face. “I like that.”

“Subverting expectations?” Yennefer said teasingly before taking another puff.

“Of course. I don’t like hanging around boring people.”

“That explains quite a lot.” She said thinking back on the many characters in the Lodge.

 They were silent, enjoying the nice buzz that was setting in. The crickets seemed to get louder and time seemed to go slower. Yennefer looking over at Triss, who looks at home in this field, it felt that if she were to look away she would never see her again, that she would sink into the soft earth. She was beautiful, with the moonlight streaming on a majority of her face, looking calm, her eyes half-lidded. It all seemed like a dream.

 “Who are you, Yen?” Triss said softly, waking Yennefer up out of her haze. A question that was always on Triss’s mind. She doesn’t want to assume anymore. There was no better time for this conversation, always more bold whenever she was high. Yennefer looks at Triss seeing the genuine curiosity in them. How could she deny her?

 “Now I’m Yennefer de Vries but before that I was nothing.” Yennefer had no problem spilling, at this point too relaxed to even feel stressed out about the topic. “My parents gave me up and left me at the worst orphanage they could fine. I was bullied terribly by both the kids and the adults for not only my looks but my eyes. ”

Triss eyebrows furrowing, processing the information. Kids could be so cruel sometimes. And for her eyes, they were the most beautiful thing Triss has ever seen, preferring to stare into them than any stars.

“I was about to end it all until I was adopted by my foster mom, Tissaia.” she said staring out past the sky it seems. “She saved me, giving me a new name and look. ”

 “I’m glad she did, Yen. I’m sorry that happen to you.” Triss couldn’t imagine not knowing Yennefer and to think she would have never known who she was terrified her.

Yennefer turns towards Triss, feeling a touch on her shoulder. She didn’t move away from it.

“That part of my life is over now.” she said simply. Not even knowing if she truly believed it herself. “What about you?”

Triss’s eyes focus on the ground, “I-my story isn’t half as hard as yours, Yen.” she said, “Not even worth telling.”

Her eyes were conveying something completely different. there were tears appearing out of the corner of her eyes.

“Let me be the judge of that.” she says softly, leaning slightly into Triss feeling the other girl relax at her touch.

Triss closing her eyes, taking in a deep breath, “My parents didn’t want me. I know they didn’t.” Yennefer waits for her to take another hit before continuing feeling some of her anxiety lessening.

“It didn’t matter what I did. It was never good enough for them. How much I exhausted myself. I had to prove to them that I wasn’t a mistake. ”

It started to make sense why Triss was always out doing something, never being able to rest for a second.

“I started having panic attacks from the sheer workload they had put on me and by high school I was a nervous wreck. They stopped thankfully under the advice of my counselors. But they rarely check on me now. The Lodge is mostly my support system now. And so was...Renfi.”

She breathed the name like it hurt her to say. Yennefer wanted to know more. No. She needs to know more.

“Tell me about her.”

A small smile appears as Triss looks up at the stars.

“She was strong, always willing to leap into action. The first one I met who loved me for who I was and not who I could be. ”

Yennefer felt herself frown at the adoration in Triss’s eyes when she talked about this women. “That firefighter was something else.”

“Why did it end if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She had too much on her plate. Too focused on her mission to care for much else.” Her smile fading, “I just couldn’t fit in.”

Yennefer couldn’t stop the anger that was rising in her. How dare that girl do that to Triss. The girl deserves so much better. A tear falls down Triss’s cheek before she quickly reaches up and wipes it away. If she had blinked she would have missed it.

Yennefer didn’t like seeing her like this.

“Come on, I know a place around here.” She said, before standing up, and offering her hand. Triss takes it,  both were grateful that the other couldn’t see their face in the dark, at the blush that spans across both of their faces. Yennefer leads her through the little forest, on the edge of a suburb where a community pool was. She hops the fence before she helps Triss over.

They sneak into the pool, leaping in trying not to be so loud. They didn’t bother taking their clothes off, too excited at their dumb idea. Splashing around, laughing as they tried to tackle each other. Yennefer suddenly picks Triss up and twirls her around in the water. Her heart fill with joys at Triss's laughter, such a sweet sound. They climbed out eventually, completely soaked, as they walked back to Triss’s car.

She would make sure that Triss would never feel alone again. Unknown to her that Triss was making a similar promise to herself, to never let Yennefer ever be mistreated again. Despite the coldness of the air on her wet skin. She had never felt this warm. They drove back to their place feeling a weight lift of both of them.

-

Something had changed between them. It has been months since they first met. Yennefer would find herself doing things just for her, waking up early just so she could see her leave. Paying attention to what kind of coffee she drinks and bringing her some from the local shop, staying up late whenever she had something to do with the Lodge, and making sure she ate something before going to bed.

Triss would find herself declining invitations just to hang out with Yennifer, preferring the girl's company. She would straighten Yen's tie before she goes to work. They would watch a bad cop show, Yennefer pointing out the inaccuracies of the court system on the show, and she was too caught up in her passion to even see Triss staring at her. Several times Triss had fallen asleep on the couch, briefly waking up when she felt movement.

Yennefer would carry her before tucking her in and putting one of her stuffed animals near her for her to cuddle with.  She always resisted the urge to say that she would rather cuddle with her. They were teetering the line of becoming something more than friends, neither wanting to admit it.

Whenever she called Tissaia the first thing out of her mouth was whether our not she had confessed her feeling yet for Triss. She would deny them furiously, blushing a little bit, before she whispered no. Tissaia giving her a scolding about how she wasting her time and how she wanted grandkids already.

Triss herself was being bombarded on all sides by the Lodge and Jaskier. The Lodge smirking at her whenever they saw her across campus with Yennefer, and Phillipa was the worst, making lewd motions at them from across the way. Triss quickly taking Yennefer’s arm and dragging her away before she could say. Jaskier had already talked about his, quite frankly, obvious feelings for Geralt when he had asked her about her roommate. Upon seeing how she immediately starts to blush he figured it out very quickly, beginning to strum his lute in song before she threatened to hit him upside the head with it. It would take just one night for them to stop dancing around each other.

-

It was a Friday afternoon when Triss came to her, smiling from ear to ear with Jaskier and Geralt in tow. They had hung out the past couple of weeks, finding Jaskier amusing and Geralt and her having to stop the other two from committing acts of chaos. It was nice reconnecting with Geralt having someone that understood just how she was even if they were no longer together. She gestured to the seats next to her they sat down, plopping their backpacks down at the cafe.

“Are you free tonight?” Triss asked, excitement clear in her voice. Yennefer looks over at Geralt for help, but he only gave her a slight grin.

“Why?” she said, before sipping on her tea. Jaskier and Triss sharing a look as she did so a mischievous look appearing on both of their faces. Oh no.

  The party surpassed all her expectations, actually containing most of what Triss said in her drunken stupor and more. It was a “friend” of Jaskier’s house that they rented out for tonight.

A mansion with a gigantic pool in front, with enough space to fit half of the people at their university. She saw most of the Lodge there, chilling next to the pool with margaritas in their hands. Jaskier was on top of a table, strumming his lute singing his version of a song, with Geralt watching to make sure that he didn’t fall off and break his neck. Someone had ordered several pizzas and other foods, whoever in charge making sure that everyone was having a good time. However, Yennefer could not find Triss, since she had arrived here.

Triss had received a text and then she excused herself from the little group, frowning as she left. It had been about an hour since she had seen her, moving her way through the party looking for her.

She was halfway inside the mansion, when someone stood in her way, nearly causing her to run into him. He had a shaggy beard and dark brown hair with a crazy look in his eyes, she notices the way he was slightly swaying.

“Hey, beautiful. You looking for a good time.” he slurred, getting closer to her. The smell of alcohol reeks off of him. Yennefer decides that she's going to give him a warning before she knocked his teeth out.

“I am. ” she said, smiling at him, he leers at her statement. “But not with you.” Yennefer began to walk around him, when he grabbed her wrist, pulling her closer to him, his teeth bared.

“What did you say to me, bitch.” Her eyes narrowing readying herself for a fight when Triss appears out of nowhere, her smile a bit too tight as she took in the scene.

“What’s going on here?”

“None of you're business.” He growled back, tightening his hold on Yennefer. “Get out of here.”

Triss's smile gets even wider before she pulls her arm back. He was not prepared for the fist to fly at his face, a resounding smack echoing throughout the party. the guy crumbling to the ground at her feet. 

“That’s my girl!” someone yelled in the background, probably Phillipa.

“Leave her alone,” she growls out, before turning to a shocked Yennefer with a smile on her face. She leans across from her, offering her a cup.

“Sorry about that. Would you like a drink?” Yennefer eyes were wide as she accepted the cup out of hand. Geralt came over nodding at Triss before picking the creep up preparing to toss him outside.

“I heard you were looking for me.” Triss smiled, holding up her phone, looking over at her friends who were all giving Yennefer a sly smile. “Did you miss me?”

Yennefer rolled her eyes at her before giving a tiny smirk. “Maybe.” Triss blushed, as Yennefer drank from her cup.

“What were you doing anyway?”

“Taling to Renfri.” Yennefer almost choked on her drink filling dread begin to set in her chest. Were they going to get back together?

“Are you guys-”

Triss shook her head no, with a wistful smile. “We were just saying goodbye. She wants to move away from here.”

A flood of relief filled Yennefer’s core at the statement and she knew exactly why. 

She was about three drinks in of whatever alcohol they had mixed together and she was feeling it, having a nice buzz going on. Triss had gone to go talk to her other friends while she leaned against the wall when Geralt appeared. Neither saying anything as they both watched their charges.

“I want you to be happy.”

“Same to you.” she said, looking towards Jaskeir who was humming happily to himself strumming his lute on a couch.

It always amazed her how they could say so little but say so much at the same time. One of the things she will always love about them. She pushes Geralt off the wall, towards him. Jaskier face lighting up as he approached, beginning to sing his song about him. Geralt’s face didn’t change but she could tell that he adored that man.

Yennefer hears a laugh, looking at Triss who was talking to Phillipa and Sabrina. She was laughing so hard, that tears almost fell out of her eyes. She couldn’t fight the smile that starts to appear on her face.

“She’s beautiful, isn't she. Always could light up a whole room.” a voice said from behind her, turning to see a woman with short wavy hair. Renfri, looks at Triss with regret dripping from her voice. “Don’t mess up like I did. Be there for her.”

Before she could respond she was gone, leaving Yennefer standing there watching her. Yennefer finally taking all of her in, the thrum of the music fading out as she watched Triss.

She’s passionate, not afraid to fight for what she believes and who she loves. Caring, always putting others before herself. She’s strong, fighting every day against what she was taught knowing that she is worth more. Not afraid to challenge Yennefer even when others would tremble in her presence. Yennefer wants to kiss her, wants to stop pretending that they are just friends when she wants to be desperately more.

It wasn’t the alcohol causing these thoughts, just enhancing them. The dinners, the laughing, the utter joy that she felt whenever Triss was around, she knew what she wanted. No, what she needed.

Phillipa caught her eyes, smirking at Yennefer before excusing herself and Sabrina, but not before whispering something in Triss’s ears. Whatever it was must have been scandalous because she hit her before turning to Yennefer with a sheepish look.

“Are you doing alright, Yen?” she asked, seeing that Yennefer was staring at her with a look in her eyes she had never seen from the women before.

“No.”

She pulls her in closer before leading her to where everyone’s dancing, joining the crowd. Triss laughing at her actions as she twirled her around, pulling her in closer. When the song changed, Triss grinding on her, Yennefer grabbing onto her hips as she did so. They danced until one song, became two, then three, the only thing they needed to feel was each other. But Yennefer wasn’t satisfied.

“Triss.”

The girl looking at her, with that same soft smile. They stopped in the middle of the floor, everyone else continuing to dance around them, Yennefer taking her chin, looking into Triss’s soft brown eyes, that always grounded her. They kissed for the very first time as the beat dropped. It felt magical, she felt like she was flying and she never wanted to come down. Yennefer wraps an arm around her pulling her in closer to get more of that honey taste. Triss smiling into the kiss that she had dreamed of for so long. They could feel eyes on them.

Geralt giving the couple a small smile while Jaskier had a few tears in his eyes as he held onto him. Yennefer left with Triss ignoring the hollering of the Lodge and Jaskier.

She woke up the next morning with Triss’s arms around her, feeling like she had just had the world given to her in the palms of her hands.

In the future when she was watching Geralt walk Triss down the aisle, she would remember the day they had met. Tissaia wiping the tears off of her face and Phillipa barely containing hers. She would remember the smile that she gave her and promise that she would do everything to keep it on her face. 

[leaa-drws]

6am mornings [Calum Hood One shot]

This is for @bringmethehorizonandpizza ‘s birthday writing challenge (happy birthday, Anne🎉) and I had the prompt “I know what I am doing ok?” / “You’re holding the knife wrong”. I hope you like it.

~7,1k words

----------------------------------------------------

She stepped into the corridor, silently closing the bedroom door behind her.

A look on her battered iPhone display showed her that it was 6:03 am.

She had another three to four hours all to herself whilst Drew was sleeping.

Another three to four hours she could use to whip up breakfast in Drews awesome kitchen and another three to four hours to curl up in the huge armchair, her book on her crooked knees with her hands gripping the pages at the enthralling parts and her fingers caressing the paper at the romantic ones.

She loved those mornings at Drews before he woke up.

Loved the calm, loved to see the world awake beneath her, outside of the windowfront whenever her gaze wandered away from the fantasy world her stories held and towards the real one.

If she would have to be completely honest or if someone asked her, she would have to admit that she loved her early mornings with tea and breakfast in the armchair a lot more than the nights spent with Drew or for that matter with anyone.

But no one ever asked, and she wasn’t about to go there willingly, so she didn’t know that yet.

And she didn’t know this was about to change.

Her thoughts shifted away from her anticipation for her peace filled morning hours when she heard quiet piano music coming from the open kitchen and living area.

The soothing tunes got louder with every step she took.

For a second, she considered if they left the music on last night, but this sounded like classical music, maybe Bach and she knew she Drew wouldn’t listen to classical music if his life depended on it.

He’d think it was “pussy-shit” and a man did not listen to “pussy-shit”.

She also considered walking back to the guestroom and wait till Drew was awake, but since she was allowed to be here as she was Drew’s friend and since she knew he had a roommate she hadn’t met yet; she didn’t worry too much about it.

Thoughts turning back towards her breakfast and the book she had spotted on the coffee table; she made her way into the main part of the apartment.

And froze right away.

She had considered the music and the roommate being in the apartment.

What she hadn’t considered was the fact that she wore nothing more than panties, really short-short pajama shorts and an oversized band shirt that made it look as though she only wore the shirt.

What she also did not consider was that her friend’s roommate was a man.

A tall, broad-shouldered, confidence radiating man.

A very tall man because Daisy was tall for a woman at five feet nine and he still seemed like a giant to her.

A man she knew instantly did not think listening to Bach first thing in the morning or at all was “pussy-shit”.

She knew because he was currently listening to Bach and because he was making breakfast to those tunes in the kick-ass kitchen of Drews kick-ass apartment and because this man had no reason to be worried about anything he was doing being “pussy-shit” since he could have stood there in a tutu and he would still be all male.

A man she instantly knew was special.

She hadn’t even seen his face yet, his back was turned towards her, but she knew with the way he stood and the way his shoulders were drawn back instead of slouching it didn’t matter, he was going to be breathtaking. 

She knew because she had stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of him, and she knew because sometimes you just know.

Her shoulder leaned against the wall now, her legs slightly crossed, her eyes focused on the stranger that stole her cozy morning and that she couldn’t be angry at for doing so because now she got to look at him instead of her novel.

Got to see his dark hair curl slightly against the line where his hair met his neck, the dark tattoos embellishing his arms, the rings on his fingers as he dragged his hand through the curls as he read something in a cookbook. 

She knew the book. It was a Nigel Slater, one that used to be her staple before she could cook all the recipes from the top of her head.

The broad back turned towards the sink to his left, the sink led his eyes to the doorway, the doorway was hard to look at with her leaning in it, so his eyes settled on her.

And she saw his face.

And she knew he would be breathtaking before, but now that she saw him, she also knew she needed a bigger, better word than breathtaking because that didn’t even begin to cover it.

She saw his face, saw how his dark eyes roamed her body, wandered from her head to her feet, then from her naked toes to her blue eyes. Her body tingled in all kinds of places and the temperature in the room seemed to have risen by a thousand degrees in those few, long moments the attractive stranger took her in.

Suddenly she was very aware of her lack of clothing as her nipples strained against the soft material of her shirt.

His brows furrowed, and she’d never seen brows furrowing look so good.

Then he spoke.

And his voice was steel and not the good kind.

“You leavin?”

She just stared.

“Woman asked a question. You on your way out?”

She continued staring. Even steel and not the hot but the angry type his voice was beautiful. A rough, deep, male kind of beautiful but nonetheless beautiful. Yeah, breath-taking doesn’t cover it.

“You deaf or mute?”

“What?” Now her brain processed more than just the beauty of the sounds leaving his mouth. “No, why?”

“Asked you a question two times, didn’t answer. Now, you on your way out?”

“Um,” She looked down at her getup. Was she looking like she was leaving? “No, I’m not.”

“Didn’t think so. You should though. The lazy son of a bitch ’ll sleep for a long while longer and you’ll spare yourself the trouble of getting kicked out later if ya leave now.”

Then she realized.

He didn’t know of her or of her being with Drew, so he thought she was a one night stand.

Drew apparently had lots of those.

But that didn’t mean she was one.

Or even the type for one with Drew.

It irritated her that he took her for a one night stand and that he just tried to throw her out and she was allowed to be little pissed to be thrown out when she wanted her cozy morning with tea, romance novel, and breakfast.

“Hi, nice to meet you”, she smiled just a tad too sweetly.

She stretched her hand out and met Drews roommates’ eyes with hers, “I’m Daisy, a friend of Drews.”

The man raised one eyebrow.

“I’m just staying in the guestroom until I find my own place. Drew was friendly enough to let me.”, Daisy further explained.

She saw his eyes widen slightly.

Yeah, you made a mistake there, big guy, she thought.

“Sure, you’re only staying in the guestroom. How long’s that gonna last, hm?”, she heard him mumble under his breath.

Daisy’s Jaw clenched and she couldn’t stop herself from glaring at the rude stranger.

She wasn’t about to be here, tired from a sleepless night, being treated like dirt by her acquaintances annoying roommate that stole her perfect morning and let herself be talked to as though she was a one night stand of Drews, who (no offense) really did not have the best taste from what she’d seen.

Glaring at him, she took a deep breath to calm herself and delivered, “That’s gonna last till I got my own place and then I am going to move into the apartment I found.”, in her cool and collected fuck-off voice.

Her gaze not leaving his eyes, she could have imagined it, but for a second, she saw understanding fill them as he stared.

And continued staring.

Her hand had remained stretched out and it was getting awkward, so she drew it back. It had almost reached her side again when big broad man’s hand shot out and grabbed it.

“Calum.” Shell shocked, because of the firm grip of his hand on hers, his name took a minute to register in his mind.

Big, broad-shouldered, hot, maybe asshole roommates were without a doubt named Calum. Her lips tipped up slightly.

Yeah.

Calum fit.

“Calum.”, she said.

“Yeah, Calum’s the name.” Daisy just looked at him.

From this close, she could say he was without a doubt beautiful.

Even more so when his Face grew soft as she didn’t let his hand go when theirs were done shaking.

“Need to continue cookin, Babe.”, his voice was not made of steel anymore.

It was still gruff, that was just his voice, but now it had a soft note to it.

At the raspy sound, Daisy wondered how it would sound when he woke up and the day began with his voice rumbling in her ear.

Yeah, her nipples were definitely straining now.

Although he was a douche. The female body could be a traitor. Also, did he just call her Babe?

Daisy lost his hand when he let her go and turned around to continue cooking.

Daisy didn’t know this man, she thought he was a bit of an ass, but she knew she weirdly didn’t like losing his hand.

And she did not like not liking losing it, but she couldn’t dwell on that because Calum took a knife and started cutting up a red bell pepper.

And he did so fast, meaning the knife moved and the pepper would have been done and cut in seconds.

“Would have been”, only because Daisy shrieked, stepped forward and Calum stilled.

Taking her shrieking for the worrying it was Calum looked at her and shared; “’ Know what I am doing, ok?”

Daisy knew to anyone else it would have looked as though he knew what he was doing, but as she was the new chef at the NoMad, an expensive restaurant in the expensive New York she was living in, it didn’t look as though he knew as what he was doing at all.

He caught her off balance before, but as she felt comfortable with the topic of cooking and she did not feel comfortable with him nearly cutting his fingers off, it was her time to share.

“You’re holding the knife wrong.” Then she realized she just told a huge broad-shouldered, muscular, breathtaking man he did something wrong and even feeling comfortable with the topic of cooking and not feeling comfortable with him nearly cutting his fingers off, she didn’t know how he would react to that, so she turned silent instead of showing him.

“You know cooking?”, again, his voice wasn’t angry.

And it not being angry, it was still a rough, deep, male kind of beautiful but now it was also melodic.

Drew would have been all kinds of angry.

Taking advice from a woman was another thing considered “pussy-shit”.

But Drew also wouldn’t stand in the kitchen at some time after six am cooking up breakfast and listening to Bach.

He may work at the bar the NoMad had, but his specialty to any intake of substance started with bourbon and ended with tequila.

“I cook at a restaurant. That’s the only way I could tell you were holding the knife and the pepper dangerously wrong.”, she whispered, liking that he was not angry but still intimidated.

“So, you know cookin.” That was a statement, not a question, so Daisy stayed quiet. Which was good because Calum was not finished talking.

“Never had the chance of learning, tryin to catch up at the moment. Guess I only thought I knew what I was doing.”, he sounded slightly awkward, drew his hand through his dark hair, but appearing like a boy that was caught lying only made him more attractive.

He didn’t have a problem admitting he made a mistake; he wasn’t threatened by it as the other guys' Daisy knew.

This didn’t exactly make him less attractive especially since his douche-quality just went down by about 99%. Assholes didn’t admit to mistakes, that was a safe bet.

“You know what you’re doing? Show me.” That was part question and all demand.

Daisy had never been especially good at following demands. She liked to do her own thing and she liked giving the orders when she knew what she was doing. 

That’s why she had kept working until she was the chef at the rooster and now at the NoMad. She wanted to be the one in charge.

She did not want to be in charge with the man standing in front of her right now, his hips leaned to the counter, knife in one hand, the other hand loosely resting on the counter.

She liked the way he did not ask her to help him.

He wanted her to, thus he told her to.

The thought of how other demands in other settings would sound made her breath hitch in her throat.

No, she didn’t want to be in charge with Calum at all.

“Don’t have all day, woman.”

“On it.” Daisy squeezed out, trying to shake her thoughts, but it came out breathy anyways.

Calum only raised one eyebrow and after a couple of seconds of him leaned against the counter and her leaned against the door she realized that she still had to move, show him how to hold the knife and most importantly stop staring at him.

So, she averted her eyes, walked over to the knife block, got her favorite one of Drews far too expensive knives and then waited for her friend’s roommate to move away from the cutting board so she could dice the bell pepper.

----------------------------------------------------

“Morning sugar.”

Eyes leaving the words printed into the ivory paper, mind leaving the storyline of the romantic hero saving his woman from herself, Daisy let her gaze wander to the sun shining through the window front starting a few centimeters from her naked toes.

She let herself consciously enjoy the warming caress where the sun rays touched her skin or warmed the blanket she cuddled into this morning after Calum left because of some phone call.

Her book laid on her knees and her fingers were gripping the pages. The chamomile tea stood cold and forgotten on a coffee table beside her, the plate that used to hold the omelet Calum and Daisy made that morning empty beside it.

At the sight of the empty plate, she had to suppress a smile.

It had been a weird morning, cooking with him in the kitchen, but that didn’t mean that it hasn’t felt weirdly good, when he took over the organization of who did what after she showed him how to use the knuckles to avoid the endangering the fingers and how to hold the knife to cut fast but safely.

It also didn’t mean that it wasn’t nice when he grinned at something she said.

She bet he had an out-of-this-world laugh since just his chuckle was enough to let her feel a draw in her lower stomach, but sadly she hadn’t heard it yet. Daisy would stay at Drews for a while longer until she found an apartment, so she would see Calum again eventually and she found herself hoping it would be rather sooner than later, and with her giggling and him chuckling or (fingers-crossed) even laughing.

It was something different to hear him chuckle in his low, deep voice.

She had told the story about how she got into cooking because she and her mother ones made a Vitamix explode in her kitchen and they had a blast even though the concoction tasted awful, and then rambled about her dad who was so good at cooking, that his food literally tasted like the love he had for his family and about how she wanted to be able to offer all this to her family one day because she thought that home cooked food took personal time and effort and was still necessary, therefore it was the perfect everyday I-love-you gift.

He chuckled after her Vitamix story and his face grew soft when she talked about the meaning good food held for her.

She liked it when his face got soft, she liked it a lot more than the stressed look on his face when she came into the kitchen the first time.

Normally she wouldn’t have told that much on a first meeting, and normally she would have felt uncomfortable talking about future family, but Calum had inquired, had asked question after question until she simply shared.

And even though she had realized that Calum hadn’t shared all that much with her actually far, far less, she still felt safe with him and he seemed genuinely interested in every single word that left her mouth.

That feeling being one that she had been missing for a long time.

Banning the roughly beautiful not-so-strange-anymore Stranger from her mind, she finally answered Drews greeting.

“Morning Drew. Coffees ready, although you might need to reheat it.”, she threw over her shoulder. 

He would definitely have to heat it again, she got lost in the heroine’s world about two to three hours ago and even in Drews expensive Coffee-machine-cup-thingy coffee got cold after that amount of time.

“You slept well?”

“All good.” This was not the truth. Actually, it was a bold lie. She dreamt of him and woke up a total of six times that night. A full night’s sleep wasn’t in for her at the moment, but Drew had done enough for her already.

“Are you sure? So soon after breaking up with – “, She couldn’t bear hearing it.

She couldn’t bear listening to this and being reminded of him every time someone as far as dropping his name.

She couldn’t bear it, especially not after she’d had a good morning and had thought about chuckles from a beautiful, broad-shouldered, dark-haired and even darker eyed man just seconds ago.

She couldn’t bear it, so she didn’t.

“I’m sure. He is half the world away, I’m here and I’m actually pretty happy to be here instead of with him and it wouldn’t have worked out anyways. Long distance relationships never do.” 

She talked fast. 

Maybe too fast but she feared if she took a breather, she wouldn’t be able to keep the emotions locked up.

“Whatever you say. Just know in case you wanna talk about it you can.” Drews answer was perfect, just the one you should want to hear from a friend in that situation, but Daisy didn’t want to share. 

It hurt too much, and she didn’t want the wound to open, didn’t want to feel her heart ripped open again. 

She didn’t share that either. 

She just kept it in, clenched her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into her palm, then shocked from her own behavior released the tight grip that had nothing to hold onto but her own flesh and started to quickly twiddle her thumbs to keep her hands occupied.

She wasn’t going there.

She didn’t need it. It had been Years since the last time even something like this had happened and she wasn’t going to let anything in that form happen again.

Suddenly happy to be shielded from the kitchen area with the huge armchair, she took a deep breath.

Then; “I appreciate it, Drew. I really do.”

It came out better than she would have imagined. But she sure as hell wouldn’t keep on talking about him, so still talking to the backrest of her safe haven she simply changed the topic and soon Drew was talking about the bar and his latest conquests and Daisy was happy not to have shared anything too personal with him.

----------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks Calum was home quite regularly.

Daisy didn’t see much of him during the day, or at night, but she could almost count on a daily morning breakfast with her giving him a cooking lesson and him getting to know her.

She learned to love the mornings spent with him a lot more than the ones before. 

Actually, the mornings with Cal in the kitchen, making jokes, cooking and baking slowly but surely became the highlights of her days and the thing she looked forward too.

Even more so after the third morning, when Calum decided to let Daisy get to know him, share his story and the details of his life and Daisy learned more and more about him.

She learned about his siblings, about his deep love for his parents, about the stress his job brought and about the fact, that it was, in fact, Calums apartment instead of Drews and all the fancy stuff was his.

This was also the reason he was pissed off when he first saw her because the last time, he caught one of Drews one-nightstands the girl puked over the brand-new couch and someone had spilled vodka all over the apartment at the party the night before.

And it was one of the reason he wasn’t happy with Drew at the moment.

He asked for the reason of her very sudden move to New York a few times, but Daisy just didn’t feel comfortable sharing, and he let her have that piece of privacy and didn’t push.

The more Daisy got to know him, the more she liked Calum Hood.

He remembered that she drank chamomile tea in the morning, so most mornings there was one waiting on the counter for her and the other ones the water was cooking and the teabag already in the cup that had become hers.

He was also a quick learner, always asked questions when they were cooking, and he wanted to know why she did something a certain way.

He knew that whilst she started loving the mornings with him, she also enjoyed her reading time, so after she’d mentioned that this was what she’d usually done before he took up the first hours of her day, he made sure that they made breakfast but that there was enough time for her to forget her chamomile refill on the coffee table and get lost in a book whilst he either went to work, sat on the sofa, scrolling through his phone, or, more often than not, watching Daisies reactions to the words on the table, her blushing, her fingers trailing the paper, her biting her lip.

The more Daisy got to know him, the more she liked Calum Hood, and the more Calum Hood got to know Daisy, the more he liked her.

Liked the smile touching his lips in the morning, when he heard her feet touch the floor of the corridor, the way she didn’t care how she looked with part of her dark blond hair in a messy bun, the other strands hanging around her face and over her shoulders, the way she pulled off those huge shirts she wore to bed, the ones that made it look like she didn’t wear anything under them at all.

He liked the way she stood up for herself when they had different opinions and the way she talked about her job with fire in her eyes and her family with more love and affection than he thought possible.

And he liked the way she had started to look at him a couple of mornings before, the way with her eyes soft and no guard in sight.

He liked the way he found her yesterday when she was up before him and was dancing through the kitchen preparing pancakes, her chamomile tea next to his ready to be drunken coffee on the counter and he stood in the doorway shell-shocked for a few moments, having to keep himself from moving across the room, and get his hands on her hips, to feel her movement against his body.

Just in the second he thought that he’d just do it, then kiss her and then hopefully start the morning right with her under him and the beverages forgotten, she turned to him, smiled when her gaze caressed his face and exclaimed - “I’m making my world-famous pancakes” - far too loudly because of the air pods filling her ears with music.

At that Calum had to grin, but the urge to kiss her didn’t subside.

And didn’t leave his head the entire day.

He’d wanted to kiss Daisy for a while.

Actually, he’d wanted to feel her soft lips under his since the first time he saw her standing in that doorway. And that want constantly grew.

It grew when he saw her eyes widen every time when he nicknames her “Daise”, just like the first time, and it grew every time “Cal” rolled of her tongue in her soft voice and slight English accent.

It had grown for a while, Cal had waited for it to go away, but since the feelings didn’t subside Calum had enough.

He’d always been a guy to go after what he wants, especially when he knew he would want it for a long time to come and the way Daisy made him laugh despite shit going down with one of the clients let him know that the need for her company wouldn’t go away for a good long while.

Calum was also done with being alone.

He’d been single for a long time, had never been searching for someone, always too busy for a relationship. Now it felt like he could make anything work, just because of the mornings spent talking over French toast or omelet.

Yeah, Calum was sure about what he wanted, and Daisy was just that.

So, this morning, when she tiredly toddled into the living area and took her usual place of leaning in the doorway to watch him for a couple of minutes, a habit she had picked up, he strut towards her, stopping just a few inches far and laid his hands on her hips, gripping them ever so slightly.

Daisy looked at his serious expression and then down onto his hands cupping her.

On countless occasions she’d realized how big his hands were and asked herself how they would feel staying on her skin for longer than a couple of seconds, when he carefully moved her out of his way when they were cooking or that one time when he took a strand of her hair and brushed it behind her ear.

Feeling them on her now only made her yearn for more of their touch, it felt as though they were burning through the thin shirt she wore, imprinting her skin and marking her in the best way possible.

Her eyes wandered back up to his eyes, they still held their serious expression.

“Is everything alright?” Her voice sounded off and came out as a whispered breath.

“I wanna try something new.”

“Kay Cal, we could do a babka, today or some cardamom knots, if you have the time for the yeast dough to rise and if you feel like something sweet?” Daisy said carefully, still sleepy, knowing something was off or at least different but not being able to put her finger on it.

What she did know was that she liked whatever it was because it got his hands on her hips and their face so close, she could see the little golden speckles in his brown eyes.

“Not talkin ‘bout food, Daise” His voice sounded quiet, almost tender.

Still gruff and like early-morning-Calum but there was a note to it that made it gentle and feel like a caress.

She’d heard this tone only few times, when she had told the story about the passing of her dog that made Calums face go soft and his eyes a turn into a liquid amber, or when he talked to his sister or parents on the phone when they took their place at the window front, bellies filled with deliciousness and cups on the table in front of them.

Daisy liked that tone.

She liked it a lot when he talked to his family because she could understand the love, he held for them as she held them for her own and she liked it even more when he used it on her.

And now that he’d let his nickname for her roll off his tongue in this hue of his voice, she liked it a whole lot more.

“But ‘m feeling like something sweet.”

“Ok.” Calum stayed silent and seemed deep in thought, his eyes fixed on his hands on her hips. When it became clear, that there would be no answer Daisy continued, “I think I can’t quite follow, honey.”

At that, Calum looked up, met her eyes for a second and then let his gaze wander to her lips.

He trailed back to her eyes, then when his eyes jumped to her lips, his hands drew her near and her front met his chest and her hips his crotch.

Forced to tilt her head back to be able to look at him she wants to ask what was going on, if he was alright but when she met his gaze, she forgot everything she meant to say.

His eyes were pure bourbon tinted fire.

Slowly one of his hands trailed up her back and Daisy wished nothing more in that moment than for the shirt to be gone and for him to touch her actual skin.

His fingers came to a rest at the base of her neck, fingers gripping her and tilting her head a little farther back whilst also drawing her lightly higher.

Daisies heels left the wooden floor.

Both of them were breathing heavily, both of them thinking nothing and everything at the same time, both of them not in the living room of Cals Apartment anymore, with Drew in the other room, but in a beautiful place made just for the two of them.

Cal searched for something in the depth of Daisy’s light blue eyes and whatever he found seemed to be exactly what he was looking for because in the next moment his grip on the nape of her neck tightened and he drew her towards his head, bending down slightly to meet her in the middle.  

Their lips crashed.

Daisies hands clawed into Cals shirt, drawing him closer, Calums hand moving from her neck higher into the mess of her morning hair, fingers gripping, arms trying to draw each other closer until there was no space to be filled anymore.

Calums tongue trailed Daisy’s bottom lip and sighing happily she obliged the unspoken demand and opened her mouth. He slipped inside and tasted chamomile tea as well as something different, something even better, something all Daisy.

The tingles she had felt multiplied by the millions and Daisy felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the hot beverage filling her stomach.

Opening up even further her leg wrapped around his hip, achieving the impossible by getting them even closer together. 

Cal's hand left her hair and both of them gripped her behind, lifting slightly when he tore his mouth from hers, growling a short “Jump.” at her.

Then his mouth was back on hers and without thinking twice about it Daisy leaped into his arms, closing her legs around his hips and wrapping her arms around his neck, one burrowed in his dark curls gripping whatever it found, tagging on it to somehow get even more of him.  

No, Daisy was right the first time she saw him.

She didn’t mind his demands at all.

Suddenly they were moving, Calum stalking through the room, his mouth never leaving hers, his hands squeezing her ass.

Daisy didn’t even realize they had switched place until she was sat on the cool kitchen counter, a burning sensation against her hot skin, Calum between her spread legs, his crotch pressing against her middle.

Desperately Daisy tugged on him, trying to get him even closer and moved against the bulge in his jeans. She ached and she wanted, no needed more.

“Fuck. Daise.” Calum groaned, hands tightening on her hips almost to the point of pain.

At the sensation of the sweet sting of pleasure, Daisy moaned against his mouth.

“Please. Cal.” Left her mouth.

Then; “More.”, when Calum circled his hips against her center.

She was only able to communicate in one-word sentences at this point and he hadn’t even truly touched her yet.

Her hands wandered to his rear, frantically up and under his shirt, exploring his stomach and chest, trying to touch all of him at ones. Then she tugged on it, pulled her mouth from Calums and breathlessly demanded; “Off”.

That seemed to have the opposite effect Daisy wanted, because instead of giving her enough room to take it off or taking it off himself, his right hand wandered towards her neck ones more, the cold rings on his long fingers an almost shockingly chilly bite that left her body shivering.

“Demanding little thing.”, he scolded.

“Please.”, she couldn’t help but return. She needed his touch.

She’d dreamt of this often the past weeks, she yearned for all of it, wanted every part of her desires to come true.

Unhurried he shook his head.

Then his forehead touched hers, lips separated by mere millimeters.

For a few long seconds, they just tried to catch their breath, one inhaling what the other exhaled, eyes not leaving each other.

Slowly a smile stretched over Cal's face. 

It was astonishing to see it from up close, how his dimples formed and how his eyes got thinner, almost as though they were retreating because the happiness filled too much room on his face.

“That,” He gave her a quick sweet peck, “didn’t” another kiss, “go” and again “quite”, he touched his lips to hers ones more, “like” and ones more, “planed”.

He brushed his mouth against hers one last time.

They both had sparkling and slightly glazed eyes, both far from down from the high of their touch.

“What was the plan?”, Daisy asked, only slightly worried by his words, as there was little that could break through the Calum-induced-daze she was in.  

“Not to almost lose control and get dangerously near to fucking you on the kitchen counter, when I wanted to take this slow.”

At that Daisy stayed silent, her worry completely gone, then eyes wide, pushed him away slightly and blurted: “You can’t just say throw things like sex on the kitchen counter around like that when just your kiss gets me in this, this situation. That’s mean. Also, what if I wanted sex on the counter with you?”

Then realizing what her brainless mouth had just exclaimed she tried to avert her eyes and failed miserably when Calums hand touched her chin and gently tilted it in his direction.

“Eyes, Daise.”, almost against her own will her eyes went back to his, “You wanna have sex on the kitchen counter with me right now?”

“Don’t get cocky, you were the one talking about losing control.”, she tried to save herself, not sure where they stood, not feeling secure enough to give him the knowledge that she would take anything and everything he wanted to give in that moment.

“I was.”, he replied calmly, “and I would love to fuck you right now.”

Daisies breath hitched.

“But we’re not gonna do that.”  

She couldn’t help it. She sighed in disappointment and her eyes dropped to her fingers still clenched in the soft fabric of his favorite shirt of hers.

“Well, not yet,” Calum whispered.

“Soon?”

“When the time’s right.”

Silence filled the apartment. The sun painted delicate patterns of light and shadow all over the the kitchen.

“Take what slow?”, Daisy asked quietly, hoping for the answer she yearned for with Calum. The answer of them together.

“Us.” He simply stated.

Daisy nodded; her smiling eyes still trained firmly on his attire.

The red and white “did you get the sensation today?”-shirt made her eyes widen and her body tingle every time she saw it cladding Calums body.

A slight giggle escaped her.

At Calums raised eyebrow she explained, still smiling; “I got the sensation today.”

Calum looked at her dumbstruck for a few long moments and then burst out in laughter.

It was a beautiful sound.

Her hands clutching him and his body near her, Daisy felt the shaking of his body against hers and saw his mouth moving and his eyes dancing from up close.

She’d been right again the first time.

His laugh was out of this world.

----------------------------------------------------

It was after they made and ate their breakfast, Daisy on Calums lap, feeding each other.

It was after Daisy got lost in her current book and after Calum watched her do so whilst he had his Sunday phone call with his sister.

It was after Calum got called away to some celebrity-client drama and after Daisy went to work and finished her shift at the NoMad.

It was when Daisy came home, took off her minimal makeup and switched her food reeking work clothes to her usual bed attire. It was when she slipped under the covers of the guestroom bed that she realized, that she hadn’t thought about Jasper all day.

And that she hadn’t thought that much about him the past week either.

She also realized that thinking his name did not hurt that much anymore.

It was a dull ache, one that could be completely forgotten at times and one that was a simple reminder of something that had happened but that had no power over her anymore.

When this struck her lips tilted upwards and a small smile took over her face.

Not huge, not ecstatic, but simply content. The silent kind of happiness that let her know that it was here to stay and not a momentary burst of strength.

She was over him. It had taken a few months, but she was finally over him.

She could only hope she didn’t fall right into the next trap.

But somehow she knew she didn’t.

----------------------------------------------------

When she woke the next morning and saw the sun shining through her window, she did so with a smile. She’d slept through the whole night.

She hadn’t woken up once.

And it was her day off. So she wouldn’t be tired the entire day and could actually do something.

Then she realized she was feeling a lot warmer than usual.

She also realized something heavy laid upon her and a rich, dark smell filled the room.

It smelt like Calum.

Averting her eyes from the sun shining through the window she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was well past 9 am. Normally she was up by 6am, 6:30 at the latest.

The smile did not leave her face then.

Nor did it when she looked down and saw Calum’s one hand claiming one of her breasts, holding it in a loose grip whilst his other hand was splayed across her stomach.

He held her close.

No, the smile didn’t falter even one bit.

His warm body was pressed into her back, his nose buried in her hair and his broad shoulder shielding her from the world behind the door across the room.

She should be freaked. 

She should feel scared or angry that he slept in her bed. Just because they made out yesterday it didn’t mean that he could sleep in her bed, touching her. 

Especially not if they hadn’t talked about it and he just slipped in whilst she was already gone, dreaming of him.

But if she was honest, she wasn’t freaked, scared or angry.

If she was honest, she felt the safest she had in a while, she had slept the best she had in a while and once you go a while without any good sleep, you know how much a full night of it is worth.

So she decided against freaking out and leaving the bed and instead snuggled deeper into Calum and inhaled deeply, wanting to save every part of the moment as a beautiful memory.

She wanted to remember the curtains swaying slightly in the wind coming through the slightly opened window, the noise of New York outside of the small retreat she and Calum were in, she wanted to remember the aroma of his dark scent mixed with her lighter one, she wanted to remember his warmth enclosing her, his hands on her body, the feeling of their legs intertwined.

When she curled up against him and her body lost its tension and relaxed against Calum, she heard him mumble a quiet “Good choice Daise.”, into her hair, whilst tightening his grip on her, drawing her closer and slightly squeezing her breast.

“Don’t you need to get to work?”, Daisy whispered, fearing the answer to be his departure.

“Took the day off.” Calum murmured, his morning voice even better in this setting and this close than in the living room. The smile got wider. The perfect morning. Definitely memory worthy.

“Go back to sleep, baby. We’ll talk later.”

“Bossy” Daisy whispered; the smile evident in her voice.

“Get used to it.” The smile filled her entire face.

She wanted to get used to this.

She had known he was special the first time she entered the kitchen and he was cooking.

She wanted him to be hers back then and she still wanted it now. And right now, it seemed like Calum Hood wanted the same thing. She moved slightly and was able to stop herself just before she was doing a full on happy dance.

“Stop being cute, Daise. I need my sleep and we both know you need yours. And if you continue being awake and wiggling your ass against me, we’re gonna do a lot of things but none of them are gonna be sleeping.”

At that, she couldn’t help but squirm whilst a blush took over her face.

“Christ, baby you need to stop moving.” Now there was a definite strain in not only Cals voice but also a growing one in his boxer shorts. His hand clenched around her breast. “I wanna do this right. We need to take it slow.”

Daisy was used to him calling her ‘babe’ and ‘Daise’. 'Baby' was new.

And she liked it.

She liked it a lot.

And she wanted to continue squirming and see where this took the morning, but Calum was right.

They both needed their sleep.

She could squirm later.

And she did.

Repeatedly.

/ / / /

Tagging: @irwinkitten @cal-pal-cuddles @josierosie @heavenlyhemminqs @hoodsmelancholy @calsophat @valentinelrh @cashton-queen @cakesunflower @cashtonismyweakness

[early-sxnsets]

"I can't believe this. First our room isn't ready, and now this? I specifically requested TWO beds." (-baz)(and there was only one bed gasp)

(funny enough, i actually have a whole 9.4k fic on this plot, if you wanna read a fic on “there was only one bed” that’s well fleshed out. but! here’s a shorter “there was one bed” ficlet.... that i may have turned into a much longer ficlet than originally intended.)

It’s really, really rare that we get to go on a proper field trip.

You’d think, given the small class size, that it’d be more common than just a sudden, unexpected, “We’re going to London to study Magickal Interaction in the Normal’s World” out of the blue. Not that it’s a topic that isn’t interesting, of course. Especially since, y’know, we’ve only got the rest of this year before we have to live in the Normal’s world. But still. Would’ve been nice to go out there at some point in my earlier years to, I don’t know, wave my wand around an open field somewhere that isn’t Watford’s campus.

Anyway. Can’t really complain. Especially since it’s four days of minimal classwork, and an excuse to sneak off at night with Penny and get beyond plastered in a mage’s bar. Maybe find someone to make out with in a dark corner, which sounds rightfully enticing seeing as I’ve been single and pitifully daydreaming about just being loved. (That’s it. That’s all. The action of being loved.)

Only thing that’s getting on my nerves is the fact that Baz and I don’t get separate rooms.

None of us do, really. We’re all stuck with our usual roommates (except this time without any gendered barriers keeping us apart. Or Anathema.)

Now, at first it didn’t seem an issue that Baz and I got stuck back together. We treat it like the usual avoidance, and he fucks off the moment he can, while I do the same.

Except, when we got to the hotel, us and everyone else in the same hallway got held back. Someone said something about them being cleaned, and we’d be in as soon as possible.

Which, evidently, was two hours.

Baz had a field day bitching about it.

I thought it’d stop the moment we got to the room, but here’s where we are now. An even bigger issue than Baz being a total and complete drama queen.

“Crowley,” he snaps, practically slamming down the handle to his travel-case (it rolls. Doesn’t even have the effort to properly carry something). “I can’t believe this. Mage really cheaped out this time.”

I don’t really have a reaction. I can’t think of a reaction. Not when there’s only one bed in the room. “I don’t think he--”

“First the room wasn’t ready, now this?!”

“I’ll sleep in the bathtub, if need-be.”

He glares over at me, looking me up and down like he’s considering my size in comparison, before saying “You’ll be lucky if you can spell it soft enough.”

I scrunch my nose. Maybe Penny can talk Trixie into staying in Keris’ room. I’ll sleep on her extra bed.

Or her floor.

Or her bathtub.

I look over the bed again. It’s really quite big. Plenty of room, really. Enough for us to press up to opposite sides, not even touching... “What if we stay?”

He snorts. “You’re kidding.”

“Why would I be?”

His head turns, brow raising. “There’s nothing stopping me from snapping your neck as you sleep here. Sure, it’ll be bad on my record, but evidence isn’t hard to hide. I can say you ran off.”

“Can’t drop the villain act for one minute, can you?” I drop my duffel-bag onto the bed, exhaling. “I’ll take the left, you take the right. Like our beds usually.”

He looks like he’s thinking hard to say something, to snap something clever back like he always does, but he gives me a halfhearted high instead before locking himself into our bathroom.

I try to yell at him, telling him to save me the little free soaps (I forgot to snag the ones supplied from Watford), but I don’t quite think he can hear me. 

So I make sure I have everything I need, and leave him alone for the night, going down to the lobby to meet Penny for dinner.

We decide to stay in tonight--she has her laptop hooked up to the WiFi, so she’s going through the motions of researching where we’ll go for our drunken festivities.

I don’t mention the bed to her. Not yet. Not after we see how tonight goes.

Which, at first, doesn’t start bad.

It’s the usual nighttime routine. He slips in late (I wonder what he’s found to drain in the city without getting caught), coming back looking a bit disheveled, but else wise put together.

We don’t speak about it. We don’t have the energy these days. He simply changes in the bathroom, then slips into bed, turning completely away from me.

I click out my light, and he does the same, and we fall asleep.

All soundly. Sort of.

That is, until he steals all the blankets. And at first, it isn’t a bother, but then he rolls over, and takes up more than half the bed, in his sprawling.

I huff, trying to nudge him, but he’s completely out cold. Literally cold.

When I push him, I feel his freezing skin against me. It’s barely any affect under enough blankets to swallow him whole.

“Baz,” I try, to no avail. So try louder. “Baz!”

He snaps awake, jerking around and glaring at me the moment our eyes meet. “Yes?” he drags.

“Can I have some room to sleep?”

He blinks at me, eyes heavy as he snorts. It barely has any affect. “Y’sleep in a ball. Don’t ask like you need more.”

And with that, he’s back asleep. Tosser.

I don’t sleep much the rest of the night, arse half off the bed.

The next day isn’t terrible. We tour a good bit, it’s mostly a bore, and then by dinner time, Penny’s already got a place for us to go.

“It’s a bit set aside, and we need a spell to get in, but I think we’ll be fine if you’re not the one trying to spell us in.”

“Why’s that?”

She looks at me, seeming outright exhausted, and I nod. Ah okay yeah. That’s why.

When I get back to the room, Baz looks like he’s getting ready to go somewhere to (city rats? Are city rats appetizing? Or maybe he’s actually just draining people out here). He looks over at me, raising a brow as I go for my bag. “Retiring early? I’m surprised you and Bunce aren’t going to go stake out something for your precious Mage.”

“Actually, we’re going out.”

“Pardon?”

“We've found a Mage’s club.” I know he won’t turn me in for this. I sure as shit could turn him in for sneaking out, so there’s no point in retaliation.

But he gives me a new reaction. One I wasn’t particularly expecting. “Is it far?”

I blink, picking up my pair of jeans and the shirt Penn stole from Premal’s closet for me. “No...”

He nods, seemingly in thought. “Fine. Save room in the cab.”

“Save room in the--I never invited you!”

“No, I invited myself. But someone has to look after you two, or else you’ll get yourselves into another Goblin attack--or worse.”

Frowning over at him, I think over how hard I’d have to punch him to known the sense out of him. It wouldn’t be too hard, but what’s the effort worth? Plus, how bad could it be? He fucks off, and he pays for the ride. “Fine, but you’re paying.”

“That was never said.”

I smirk back. “Yeah well, you invited yourself.” I shut myself into the bathroom.

Once I step out, I look over to see he’s actually dressed decently, in clothes I can’t ever recall him in.

“Baz, are those jeans? Are you wearing jeans?”

He doesn’t bother looking away from the mirror, fixing his hair. “What did you expect me to wear? A skirt?”

“Yes--wait. No. Anything but jeans.”

“Do you imagine I’d saunter around a club as an eligible bachelor in some bloody cloak?”

“A little bit, yeah!”

He groans, rolling his eyes as he turns back and rustles through his bag. “You’re pathetic.”

Standing back, I watch as he shuffles around and digs out a pencil, nice and capped all pretty. My first thought is wondering why he’s pulling out a pencil, but then he uncaps it and brings it up to his face.

“Stop--”

He turns slowly, raising a brow. “Something the matter?” he monotones.

“What--don’t hurt yourself!”

He snorts, shaking his head and turning back and starting to run it along certain parts of his eyes (looking like he very well knows what he’s doing). “Haven’t you ever seen anyone put on makeup?”

Yes. Well, yeah. Of course. I’ve seen Aggie put on her makeup before big holiday dinners, and Penny drag out a little bag during breakfast to just put something on her eyelashes and use some chapstick (that’s all she ever does, and that’s only if she has a presentation to give that day).

And anyway, whenever Agatha put anything around her eyes, it was with a tube and little brush thing. And other brushes. And more brushes.

“Not with a colored pencil.”

“It’s called eyeliner, Snow.”

I’ve never seen a bloke put on makeup.

I’ve never seen a bloke look deliberately pretty.

And it isn’t that I haven’t seen pretty blokes--of course I’ve seen pretty blokes. Baz is sort of a pretty bloke, in the textbook sense. Full-ish lips (well full enough that they’re not barely there. Fuller side for a guy, I guess). Pretty eyes, with dark lashes that make ‘em look lighter. I think he does his eyebrows--they’re too well kept to not have something done to them.

Clear skin. Always clear. Almost like a doll’s face.

Except if the doll was always pissed off.

I sort of stand blinking, staring at him without properly meaning to (but definitely staring), only snapping to when he stands up straight and fixes his shirt. It’s nearly half unbuttoned.

He snaps something at me (I don’t catch it, I’m staring at his chest). (How does he feel so comfortable showing that much skin?) (Why would he show so much skin? Who is he trying to woo?) (Is this how he’s getting his dinner? Going off with someone then draining them?)

It takes him a few more tries before it comes through. “For Crowley’s sake, Snow, back to reality or I’ll punch it into you.”

My head shakes, eyes going wide as my head snaps up, then settles back to a frown. “Don’t have to be a dick about it,” I grumble, shoulders dropping a bit as I pat around. Wallet (with room key). Mobile Penny convinced me to get over winter break.

That’s it. That’s all.

“Are you ready?” My voice cracks a bit as I ask, hand moving up to over my mouth subtly. This is already going to be a weird night.

He gives me a once over, and I can practically hear his voice. “Really Snow? That’s what you’re wearing?” He nods anyway, pushing past me to open our door. “Where are we meeting her?”

“Lobby.” I trail behind him, dinging for the lift and resting back against the wall.

He goes off and checks himself in this mirror, presumably trying to see himself in a new light.

“Oi, piss off. Y’already look like you’re off to seduce your next victim.”

“Pray tell, Snow, what you think they’d be a victim of.”

“Vampire’s thrall?”

He seems a bit smug about that one. “Wouldn’t you think I’d have pulled that by now?”

“Maybe you did. I know how Agatha followed you around like a puppy dog--”

“You seem to forget that you followed me around like a puppy dog. For a year.”

I frown, then blink. “That could’ve been the thrall!”

He just laughs, a bitter bark at me as the lift pings and slides open. “Hate to inform you, Snow--” he hits the button for the lobby, then close doors as I settle back against the corner of the space, “--but if was a vampire, and I did use my thrall, I’m fairly certain you’d know it was happening.”

We drop the conversation there, standing in silence as the little box around us rattles and drops at a decently slow speed, a soft chime as we hit the ground floor and step out to take a good look around.

Penny’s already waiting, standing by a plant with her mobile in hand. She looks up, raising a brow at Baz (I’d texted her that he’s coming, my only explanation being “He’s paying”). “Bold fashion choice.”

He smirks, and it feels like it’s an intentional jab. I think he feels spiffy. “Thank you, Bunce. You’re looking...” He trails. She’s not in anything that’s much of anything to comment at (she’s not single, so a simple black sweater dress is enough for her). “Like you’re going to a very informal funeral.”

“Mmm. Your’s, or Simon’s?”

“Why not both?”

She smiles a bit, impressed before exhaling. “You’re paying, right?”

“Do I have much of a choice?”

“No.” She grabs my arm, raising a brow at me as I shrug. Free alcohol is free alcohol (and I suppose I’ll turn a blind eye to Baz if he’s got his fangs sunken into someone in the back room).

We all pile into a cab, and Penny gives the instructions. We’re relatively silent, all looking off through the windows, paying no mind to the cabbie as we twist and turn, finally stopping and stepping out as Baz pays the tab.

We’re in front of a closed Primark which, granted, seems like an odd place to take three late-teenaged kids to, but he just heads off and leaves us staring up at it.

“The sex appeal of this is through the roof,” Baz quips, raising a brow as Penny sighs and looks around.

“Trust me, alright?” she hisses, glancing around before starting down the street.

I follow along, hands in my pockets as we stroll. Baz looks a bit cautious, but overall humored by the whole endeavor.

We stop outside a much smaller side shop, with a spray painted shutter. “EAT DIX”

“Classy,” Baz mumbles as Penny steps forward, pointing her ring at it.

“Oh, what a night!”

The shutters rumble a bit, raising a few notches on their own and letting Penny yank them up the rest of the way. She glances around, exhaling in relief before waving us in.

It just looks like a tight passageway, but tucked inside the wall.

I go first anyway, following along for maybe half a minute before I can hear it--laughing. Dancing. Going about.

Baz lights a fire just in time before I hit a turn, then see it. The trickling of light.

Then another turn.

It’s like a hard snake, bumping through twist and turn before we emerge into a thumping, crowded dance club, twinkling lights suspended in mid-air as the smell of drinks and the sweetness of pixie dust spins around us.

I let Penny take the lead, holding onto her elbow as descend down a short flight of stairs and land off to the side of the crowd. Baz sticks close, practically looming over my shoulder as we make out way to the bar.

I can feel some people eyeing me up--I can feel them staring, even if they don’t mean to. I know they know who I am. I know they can smell it--they can feel it.

And I know they see me next to a Pitch, which is probably fairly confusing, but once again, free alcohol is free alcohol.

Baz orders us two rounds of shots as we settle up to the bar, trying to talk about where to stand and whether or not to dance.

After the shots, and well, another round (then a drink each), Penny and I break off from him as he stays at the bar, wordlessly sipping back something that looks too pink to be appetizing (he seems happy with it, though, surprisingly).

I polish off my drink--something magical, except it also has some fizzy in it, so I don’t know whether or not the tingle in my throat is from the drink or from the additive, but I don’t really care. I don’t care about shit, because Penny’s shoving me into the middle of the crowd to (try to) dance.

And try to I do.

Terribly, I think.

Who’s going to tell me I’m a bad dancer? I’m the Chosen One, for Merlin’s sake.

I turn, then catch Baz staring.

Oh right. He will. He’ll tell me I’m a bad dancer.

Which, I suppose, he has a little say in, but still. I prefer not to hear him, but he’s the one supplying me with drinks, so I should shut up and let him speak.

He doesn’t move. Not immediately.

And when he does, it isn’t to go forward. It’s, instead, to turn around, and order another drink for himself.

Something in my chest flutters, searching for his gaze again until another body blocks him. Someone big (half giant?) I don’t even bother waiting to see if he did look back, instead just weaving my way back into the crowd to find Penny.

We stick around for a little while, making Baz get us another drink before he eventually climbs off his seat, finding me half slumped next to the loo, and scoffs at me.

“You’re pissed,” he mumbles, not fresh as a fucking daisy himself. “We’re going back.”

I pout a bit. “Penny’s taking a piss.”

“Of course she is,” he sighs, shaking a hand through his hair.

I smile as it falls into his face, and reach up absentmindedly to swipe it away. “Pretty,” I mumble.

He doesn’t swat me away, blinking once as I tuck it behind his ear. He gathers himself after a second of just blinking. “You better be stable enough to walk, because I’m not dragging you out.”

(Spoiler alert: he does.)

(I’m half leaned over him, arm around his shoulder, as Penny hums some tune behind us, weaving out through the path we came.) (Which, surprisingly, shoots us out a few doors down from where we entered. Wicked.)

He hails us a cab a block or two away, all the while I’m mumbling something about him smelling like a weird lemon. We squeeze together in the back, Penny and Baz on each side of me as I fit in the middle, head leaned back as the room spins. At least Baz has the sense to remember the address of the hotel, letting Penny and I just hum to ourselves.

We part ways in the lobby, Baz letting me cling to him as I stumble closely into the lift.

We’re silent.

Too silent.

I hum again to fill it, humming that spell that Penny used to get us in (it’s catchy).

Baz doesn’t tell me to stop. Not until we get out, and even then it’s a soft “Shh”. The kind you try to lull a baby to rest.

I smile, leaning up to whisper in his year. “Am I your baby, Baz?”

He gets a little stiff in my arms, feeling like a plank that I’m just drifting through the hallway with. “Nobody’s my ‘baby’, Snow.”

“I could be,” I hum, leaning more against him and whispering even quieter. “I am now.”

He looks like he might shove me off. Instead, he walks faster to our door, getting out his key card and grumbling something bitterly as he pushes the door open and hits the lights.

I flop myself down onto the bed, grinning up at him. “You’re really pretty. Did y’know that?”

“No, Snow.” He almost sounds sad. Why is he sad?

“Soooo pretty....”

“Are you going to stop anytime soon?”

I giggle, closing my eyes and shaking my head. I feel the room shake with me (I think that’s what’s happening).

When I open my eyes, I don’t see any objects actually shaking, but Merlin am I dizzy.

Baz has all but disappeared, except for the sound of the bathroom tap running.

I hum, starting to try to wiggle out of my jeans (getting them half off before remembering my shoes), then trying to kick those off while trying to somehow lift myself off my back to take off my shirt.

Which is how Baz finds me, almost thrashing around on the bed.

“Oh for Crowley’s sake,” he mumbles, going to help me.

I just let him do the work, closing my eyes and settling back. “Mm. Why’re you sober?”

“I spelled myself sober. Used ‘Closing time’.” He says it without the magic, helping me out of my clothes and leaving me in my boxers and cross, carefully staring anywhere but me. “Why? Do you need to be spelled sober?”

I shake my head. “Like this.”

He sighs, stepping away and mumbling something incoherent as he goes into the bathroom and comes back with a glass of water. “Drink.”

I don’t protest, forcing myself up to chug it down, before looking up. “I’m gonna pee.”

His lip curls up. “Then go pee.”

I nod, closing my eyes and pushing myself out of bed. I stumble, but catch myself on the bedside table. “I’m gonna pee,” I repeat, padding into the bathroom.

I think I say it again (or I’m thinking it) as I’m steadying myself again the wall and focusing very hard on my aim.

I flush, washing my hands because I know Baz will throw a fit if I don’t, then go back out to see how he is.

Which is just him in bed, turned away from me.

I frown, then plop next to him, hitting off the lights and sighing. “Baz?”

“Yes?” he grumbles.

I turn my head, watching him. “Thank you.”

He turns around slowly, facing me entirely. “What do you want me to say?”

I shrug, then reach out to feel his hair again, watching his eyes fall shut, then push back open. 

“What is it that you want, Snow?”

I shrug. “Nothing really. I feel like thanking you. Is it a crime?”

“No.” He still stares at me, like he did at the bar.

I bite my lip. “Am I bad a dancer?”

He seems taken a back, but answers nonetheless. “Yes,” he whispers, then I laugh.

I laugh because he’s right. I laugh because this is silly. I laugh because I want to laugh.

And he laughs too.

We laugh together, my forehead leaning to touch his as we giggle, settling into the shared sheets. We relax. We exhale, looking at one another before I stare at his pretty mouth, then lined eyes, and suddenly push my lips forward just to feel how his pretty mouth would feel against mine, and I find that it feels fantastic.

It feels soft, and slow, and hesitant then all at once not, pushing forward against mine and making me sigh out onto him. 

His hair pushes into my hair, then his pretty mouth pulls back, and I open my eyes to stare at his prettier ones.

“You’re drunk,” he whispers, voice small.

I nod, then shrug. “You can sober me up,” I whisper, popping the ‘P’ before smiling a little.

He does move at first. “Takes a good bit of magic, Simon.”

I shrug again. “I can try...”

He laughs. “Crowley, no. Please don’t. You’ll probably ruin your liver doing that alone.”

He’s not wrong.

I opt to kiss his cheek, feeling his hair slowly as I scoot closer. “Okay,” I mumble. “Kiss me in the morning, then.”

“What if you don’t want to,” he whispers, forgoing his usual bitterness. “What if you forget.”

He’s probably right. I have a shit memory when it comes to drinking. And that’s probably why he’s not snapping my neck now, either.

The whole kissing me back is a thought for tomorrow, though.

“Then tell me to kiss you,” I yawn,  pressing my face into his neck and inhaling. “Say... I think you’re pretty. Because you’re pretty. And I like that.”

“You’re talking nonsense, Snow.”

I shrug. “Doesn’t matter. Kiss me anyway.”

His hand settles firmly on my back, right at the dip of it. “Fine,” he whispers. “But then we don’t talk about tonight.”

“What tonight?”

[jawnjendes]

the fog will clear up | shawn mendes

chapter 13/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: sry its short and definitely a filler im sry its boring but it helps build up stuff thatll happen next ok ok im sry

*let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist

Annalise woke with a start. She was wide awake immediately. There was no room for sleepily rolling around the sheets, her eyes weren't heavy like always. She didn't know what dying and coming back to life felt like, but she was pretty sure it felt something like that. She had a weird urge to go for a jog.

Staring at the ceiling, Annalise reached towards the nightstand next to her, intending to grab her phone. Her hand touched the bottle, and she picked it up anyway, reading the prescription label.

Annalise Flores SERTRALINE 50MG TABLET Brand name: Zoloft

"You don't waste anytime, huh?" she murmured before setting it back down. Then, she grabbed her phone and checked the time.

8:47am. A new fucking record. Annalise rolled out of bed, unable to stay still.

In the 2 hours she had to kill before work, she tidied up the dorm, ate a decent breakfast, took a shower, and got started on the course work she had to make up. The energy levels were through the roof, she had never been so on edge and productive at the same time. Why wasn't she put on sertraline sooner? Sure, she felt hyperaware and borderline anxious, but that was apart of the process of getting on a new antidepressant. She was getting things done this way. Sure, she jumped when the lock on the door jiggled, but she was up and running anyway!

If she wasn't, she wouldn't have seen Stella entering the dorm. She was surprised to see Annalise on the couch, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Oh… I thought you were asleep. I'll, uh, I'll come back."

"No, wait!" Annalise sounded a little too frantic, but it did stop Stella from leaving. "Uh, come sit down! Please!"

Stella narrowed her eyes slightly as she went to the couch. At least she was willing to listen.

"I, uh, I'm sorry," Annalise began, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry for what I said. A stupid guy isn't the only good in my life. I have you. You matter to me, and I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't." She really couldn't stop herself from rambling. "I miss you. I miss seeing you here between classes, and I miss your optimism because a bitch could use some of that. And, and I'm sorry for the negativity I've brought in here. I'm working on it now, I swear. Just… come back. Come home… because bro, you're my wife, dude."

It could have been funny, but there was nothing funny about the way she said it. Her eyes were wide and pleading, and she was rubbing her hands together. Stella merely blinked her hazel eyes, nearly overwhelmed by that string of words.

"Look at you, expressing your emotions," she said after a while. "I can see why you hold it back."

Annalise nodded rapidly. "It's my first day on a new medication. Got me all sorts of hyped up, but I'll mellow out in a couple of weeks. And I'm taking therapy seriously again!"

Stella was surprised. "Oh, I see. Well… I've missed you too. Bro…"

"Bro?"

"I'll come home too. Camila's bed is too small for the two of us."

"Bro…"

"I know. I have to update you on all that."

"Br-"

"Okay!" Stella broke out a smile and stood up. "Dame un abrazo, puta."

That was much easier than Annalise had anticipated. She stood up and hugged her best friend, relieved. Stella wasn't one to hold a grudge, nor was she as stubborn as her roommate. It was another person to cross off the list.

~

Shawn had social media mainly to get his music out there. Yes, he interacted with his friends on Snapchat, and some fans on Twitter. Most of the time, Shawn just tweeted when he had new music coming out. He didn't check any of his social media very often, not even to stalk Ann's accounts because she was rarely on her's. He didn't even have his notifications on, purely to keep himself from the possibility of getting too attached to the opinions of random strangers online.

That was why he woke up that morning to a number of texts from Camila.

"SHAAWWNWNN"

"SHAWN IM LKTERSLLY BALD RN"

"CHEKC UR TWITTER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!"

"YOIR FOLLOWERS!!! AAHSKSKSK"

"SKSKSK SHAWNMM IM SCRAMING"

So to Twitter he went. Shawn rubbed sleep out of his eye as he went to his profile. He had around 10k to begin with, that he built up on his own over the last couple of years. He nearly dropped his phone on his face as he read the new number.

50.2k

"What… the fuck?" he breathed out as he sat up in his bed. He scrolled through the list, making sure this wasn't a series of spam bots.

His mentions were just as wild, and it explained the sudden blow up.

@hollaestor: @shawnmendes hiii bella told me to follow you

@samxriv: @shawnmendes i am free to hang out on tuesday to hang out when i am free

@gisellenjh: @shawnmendes bella sent me here and im glad she did! loving your music!

And there were plenty more like that. There were so many tweets, Shawn couldn't even get through all of them. It was making his head spin. There was only one Bella he knew about too… He just couldn't spell her last name. Thankfully, her handle was just @bellasanti, and it was the first one to pop up when he typed it in the search bar.

Right under Bella Santiago's name and the blue checkmark were the two little words: Follows you. Shawn refreshed the page ten times before it sank in. This YouTuber, who has over 2 million followers, somehow found Shawn's music… and she liked it. She liked it enough to tweet about it… 3 days ago.

@bellasanti: underrated spotify artists: @shawnmendes. give him a listen. send him some love. truly talented guy💖

Shawn had only overheard Bella's videos when Ann was watching them in the other room. He never really watched any of her content. But he wanted to pass out at the fact that she took the time to listen to his music and tweet about him. He wanted to jump on the bed. He wanted to call-

He texted Camila back. "Wtf why did no one tell me sooner?? This is so crazy!!!!!"

"We thought you knew and you were keeping it from us!! LMAO congrats rockstar!"

He couldn't believe it. His follower count was rising. He was getting emails from Spotify saying his songs were being added to many different playlists.

@shawnmendes: @bellasanti wow thank you so much! Love you bella❤

He deleted the last bit before tweeting it. Holy shit. Shawn lied back down on the mattress, completely breathless.

How does someone like Bella Santiago find Shawn out in cyberspace? What Spotify rabbit hole did she go down that led her to him? How many of his songs did she listen to? How many songs did she save to her library? How many of those playlist emails were from her? Shawn had so many questions.

~

There were two things Annalise noticed when she was out on the courtyard after Biology. The first thing was a table on the side of the walkway, with a handmade banner hanging off the front. It read in big letters: Shawn Mendes: Live at The Cameron House. Brian, Alessia. and Camila were all sat on the same side at this table, talking to a student who was interested in the little display.

"The lounge called back," Annalise muttered to herself.

The other thing Annalise noticed was Patrick sitting under a tree nearby, reading a book. She went to him first.

The last time she had spoken to Patrick was when they cut up flowers together. He was never one to explicitly state when something has upset him, and he has seen Annalise in a depressive episode before. Annalise knew him well. Patrick kept his distance because he didn't like the negativity around her, and he couldn't afford any more of it himself.

"Hey," she greeted.

His blue eyes tore away from his book to meet her gaze. "'Sup?"

"Trying to be less fucked in the head," she told him.

Patrick nodded in approval. "Cool."

That was all that was needed for the two of them. Content, Annalise turned and went for the table. A small line had formed when she wasn't looking, so she waited behind the last person. However, with three people running the thing, Annalise got to the front fairly quick.

"Oh, she actually showed up," Brian chimed, amused.

"Meaning?" Annalise asked.

"Thought you were too pissed at Shawn to care about his show, that's all."

She swallowed the pit of annoyance, discovering that even more people knew about that. Brian is his friend, though, of course he'd know.

"Selling tickets or something?" Annalise turned her attention to the two girls.

"Yeah! Ten dollars a piece!" Alessia explained.

"Cool, I'll take one."

Just as she opened the flap on her book bag, Camila spoke up.

"Wait. I'm pretty sure Shawn said he wanted to buy you your ticket himself."

Annalise rolled her eyes. "Well, he's not here and I can do things for myself." She pulled out her wallet and paid her own goddamn ticket.

Camila breathed out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna let him do anything nice for you?"

None of your fucking business.

A new thought occurred to Annalise. "Why are tickets being sold for this show? Aren't his gigs usually free?"

"There's more production going into this one," Brian told her. "The lounge gave him the option to make it a ticketed event, and we need to make back what we already put into it. So now, it won't be a performance, it'll be Shawn's performance."

Shawn already knew how to make an audience his bitch, but…

"Alright then." Annalise shrugged and then accepted her ticket and receipt from Alessia.

The ticket alone was already quite extravagant. There were little red roses designed around the edges. This boy really loved his fucking flowers.

"I'm guessing rose petals will fall from the ceiling or something?" she guessed with a chuckle.

"I was given strict orders to not spoil anything," Brian told her, folding his arms.

The two had a mini staredown until Annalise shrugged again. "Whatever."

Then, Camila piped up again, suddenly excited. "Ooh, Ann did you hear? Bella Santiago followed Shawn on Twitter!"

"She what?" Annalise stupidly replied.

Camila practically squealed. "She gave him a shoutout too! He's blowing up on Spotify! Isn't that awesome?"

Annalise wanted to say something, but her brain wasn't quite caught up yet. So she just walked away.

The other three students watched her leave. Needless to say, they were confused.

"Is she ever gonna be happy for him?" Alessia wondered.

"I think she was excited?" Camila said tilting her head.

"I can't believe Shawn is going through all this trouble for that," Brian said with a scoff.

"I can still hear you!" Annalise called over her shoulder as she kept walking.

All three of them went red in the face, embarrassed. Brian would have made a comment about her being a vampire with supersonic hearing, but he didn't want to be called out again.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou  @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @goldenmndes @shawnvvmendes @shawnsunflower @shawmndes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea @softmendesss @mutuallynotmutual

[cornacopicimagines]

english charm.┃  t.h

pairing: fuckboy!best friend!roommate!tom holland x reader

words: 3.9k (lol wat)

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex and slight angst

summary: tom holland and y/n have been best friends since they were kids, but what happens to their relationship when both move in with each other and start developing feelings for each other.

a/n: i was just reading a bunch of fuckboy!tom holland fics and just got really inspired, this is probably going to be a cliche but this is probs gonna be two or three parts. p.s i just needed to use this gif ;) also if your best female friend isn’t gay use another friend that is gay or gayish, idk you do what you like x

masterlist part 2

☆.｡.:*

"Seriously," y/n sighed deeply as she opened the door wider for Harrison to walk into her and Tom's tiny shared apartment. "Please don't tell me you guys are going out again," she spoke angrily as she flung herself back onto the soft couch while she peered up at Harrison.

"Sorry y/n, you know I can't pass up on going out," Harrison told her sheepishly, scared of her wrath. Before y/n could scold Harrison for encouraging Tom's Playboy behaviour, Tom's figure came into view.

"Relax y/n, besides you'll be asleep by the time I get home," Tom chuckled lowly as he slapped Harrison on the back as he made his way into the kitchen.

"You mean I'll also be 'asleep' by the time another one of your escapades gets fucked by the infamous Tom Holland," y/n told him roughly as she watched Tom get the vodka out of the fridge and place it on the dining room table with two shot glass on the other side.

"Don't be so stiff, sweetheart," Tom smirked wildly as he threw the shot of alcohol down his throat and passed the other glass to Harrison. y/n could help the small blush that appeared on her face as Tom let the nickname purr off his lips. One side of her brain was drooling with arousal, needed to hear him say the nickname again while he was pounding into her, but the other side was wanting to throw up and hide in the corner as the thoughts of how many times he has used that name on the countless other girls he has welcomed into their home.

Either way, y/n frowned as the pair of boys made their way past her, Tom pressed a small kiss to the top of her head, "See you later tonight," Tom murmured against her hair before he slipped out of the apartment and into the night. y/n would be lying if she said that she wasn't totally wrecking herself inside for what would happen later tonight.

Tom and y/n had been best friends since forever. The two met on their first day of school when they were children. Tom had defended her against some mean older boys and ever since then the two never left each other's side. They both begged their parents to keep going to the same schools, so Tom and y/n started high school together, Tom was there when y/n went through her first relationship (and first heartbreak). y/n was there when Tom had gotten suspended for getting into a fight with another boy after he called out some rather racy words towards y/n.

Fast forward to today and y/n had started an online college since nothing in her area offered her desired course and Tom pursuing his acting, finally. Tom moved out and got an apartment not to far away from his hometown and quickly asked her to move in with him, luckily, y/n said yes right away not wanting to miss the opportunity to move in with her best friend but that started to become a challenge.

Tom had nothing been nothing but a kind-heart person, something y/n had admired about him, he was a pleasure to live with for the first two years, but after that something had switched inside of Tom. He started to become more distant, leave clothes everywhere for y/n to clean up. Started going to way more parties than he should be and the least to y/n's liking was bringing a lot of girls home to sleep with. y/n couldn't remember the last time Tom didn't have a girl over for a least a week, she couldn't remember a time where she would have the house to herself and not have to hear the obviously put on and stupid moaning of all the air-headed girls Tom brought home.

Letting out a loud exasperated sigh, y/n once again threw herself on the couch and dived right back into her essay that she had to finish.

As the night dragged on y/n started to let her mind wander. Her thought scramble from her useless daydreaming and the actual work that she needed to do. Finally taking this as a sign, y/n realised it was time for her to get to bed. She quickly packed up her things and started to make her way to her bedroom when she heard the door open then quickly slam shut.

Peering slightly underneath the bottom of the ceiling, she spotted Tom's brown locks being messed up by what looks like a barely dressed peroxide blonde. The loud slopping of her lips against Tom's made y/n cringe. She had seen this girl a couple of times before not enough that she would call her Tom's girlfriend but enough that y/n labelled her a regular of Tom's.

"Why don't we take this to the bedroom Tommy?" The blonde asked innocently as she batted her eyelashes. y/n could tell Tom was unhappy with the girl that was gripping at his shoulders. As soon as the nickname basically rolled off the blonde lips, y/n could see that Tom froze above her.

"Sure doll," Tom replied huskily, an obvious attempt to try to hide his discomfort. Either way, y/n had to quickly run to the safety of her room as Tom had snatched the girl's arm and started dragging her towards his own room next to y/n's. Thankfully, y/n closed the door just in time as Tom and his consort passed her room and fled into his.

This was the last thing y/n needed tonight. She didn't want to have to listen to Tom and another one of his damsels fuck each other until the sun came up. Angrily, y/n flung herself onto her poorly made bed. She didn't even get a moment to herself before the moaning began. Sure it was an annoyance to also hear people fucking right next door to you but for y/n it was way worse. She had to listen to the man she has loved for nearly all her life screw countless women right under her nose.

y/n knew she needed to get her feelings under control. Tom had stopped, he had basically fucked every girl in town that he could get his hands on. y/n didn't pretend to not know of Tom's reputation, she knew that even his name could make women drool. She couldn't lie either, just hearing his voice made her head spin let alone living with him.

It had been about ten minutes since Tom and the blonde started their fun and y/n was just about sick of it, she made mental plans with herself to speak with Tom about this in the morning after the girl left.

y/n was just about to bang on the wall to tell Tom to keep it down when the commotion stopped, silence filled both of the rooms. Nothing happened on Tom's side and y/n waited in stress to see what had happened.

Suddenly y/n heard Tom's door being swung open two pairs of feet run past. As soon as y/n heard the commotion she unlocked her door and made her way to see the very girl that Tom was kissing just earlier now rushing to get dressed. She looked angry, really angry.

"You're a liar!," The blonde screamed at him, Tom didn't even try to stop her as she continued to throw on the dress that barely covered her up, "You told me you loved me, that I was different," she choked out, y/n could see that the girl was in tears now. Tom, on the other hand, was completely unfazed.

Tom didn't say anything, he just stood there. For a moment he looked kind of stunned that this whole ordeal was even happening until he uttered out some harsh words, "I've known you for two weeks, whatever I told you I must have been drunk off my arse."

Slap!

The blonde's hand came down onto Tom's face with a fury, it was so hard that even y/n could hear it all the way from the doorway of her bedroom. y/n quickly rushed out, wanting to help Tom with his girl problems as it seemed that he needed some backup.

She was already a bit too late though as the girl grabbed the pair of stilettos and turned to face one more time, "My name is Anna, maybe remember the next girl's name before you call out someone else's," she seethed before slamming the door so hard behind her that some of the pictures wobbled.

For the first time since she has known Tom, she couldn't read him. At some angles, she was picking up a sad vibe from him but some others she could only see embarrassment covering his face. The only that she could see clearly though was the massive red mark the girl left on Tom's cheek.

y/n hesitated to speak at first, wondering what the right thing to say to him. does she comfort him or scold him for his behaviour.

"Are you alright Tom?" y/n squeaked out as she moved towards him slightly. She was just about to place her delicate hand on his shoulder behind he whipped around and stared at her with anger in his eyes.

"This is all your fault you know," Tom yelled at her, he looked pissed at her but also slightly red-faced. y/n knew he was furious at her but at the same time, he looked like he wanted to run away and hide in his room like a little kid after their parents called them out for something embarrassing.

"W-what?" y/n stumbled out, she really didn't know what was going on with him. She was about to speak once again when Tom stepped closer to her backing her into a corner. She had no idea on what to do or say as he stared down at her with intensity in his eyes.

Tom didn't move or speak to y/n as they both stood there in complete but tense silence. His eyes never left hers and y/n's stared at him looking for any type of answer. Instead, Tom stormed off, his hands flying to grip at the roots of his hair. y/n was left in utter disbelief as she wonders what she did to anger him so much.

☆.｡.:*

For the following two months, Tom avoided y/n like the plague. Every time she would even attempt to talk to him, he would glare at her or would mutter things that y/n could barely make out.

Tom refused to take part in their weekly movie night, where y/n and himself would take turns watching their favourite movies with each other. y/n was looking forward to it since Tom's ignorance but when she knocked on his door to ask him what movie he wanted to watch first he groaned and turned his back to her.

That was two weeks ago, y/n didn't bother to ask last weekend but now she was getting fed up. It was her best friend's birthday party today and Tom had promised to come with her as soon as the invitations were sent out. He had to stop avoiding her now, Tom never broke a promise, in the 15 years she had known him not once had he back out of a promise.

She got dressed in one of her favourite cocktail dresses. It was a deep navy blue that curved at her neckline, it was hugging her curves in all the right places. She had put her hair up in a tight bun with her baby hairs dangling near her eyes, framing her face. She was saving this dress in the hope that she and Tom would have a date together, but it seemed like that day was never going to come.

Walking down the stairs, y/n expected to see Tom dressing in a casual suit and his dark brown curls pushed back sophisticatedly but instead, she saw him lounging on the couch watching tv and with Tessa in his lap. Usually, the sight would have made her heart swell but this time it did the exact opposite, she was furious.

Trying to contain her anger she asked him bluntly, "Why aren't you dressed yet." She didn't even look at him as she placed a pair of dangled silver earrings in her ears.

"What are you talking about?" Tom asked, finally even just his voice was melodic to her ears but it didn't matter now, all she cared about was if Tom would break his promise for the first time ever.

"It's y/bf/n's birthday," y/n told Tom, her voice started to snap, "She invited us and you promised to go remember," she snapped at him. Tom didn't even turn to look at her.

"Hhm, have fun," Tom exclaimed quietly as he continued to stare at the screen ahead of him.

"Are you seriously not coming?" y/n spoke exasperated as she placed her hands against her hips angrily.

"No, the game's on tonight," Tom responded as if nothing was wrong. y/n stared at him with a fury bubbling at her fingertips. How dare he treat her like this, she has done absolutely nothing wrong yet he is belittling and betraying her left and right.

Snatching her house keys and her luxurious coat, she stomped towards the door but not before she turned and said, "See later tonight."

 ☆.｡.:*  

y/bf/n's party was going great, it was at the fancy bar in the city, all of your friends were there and they had great food and booze.

"Hey y/n was gonna ask, where's Tom?" y/bf/n called out to y/n over the loud music and conversation.

"He didn't want to come," y/n told her sadly as y/bf/n really like Tom and knew she would also be upset. "He fucking promised y/bf/n," she snapped as she sipped at her drink.

"I know babes, I was hoping that if we get you both drunk you could make out with each other," y/bf/n spoke with a frown on her face. She had been the biggest supporter of a possible relationship between Tom and y/n. y/bf/n did everything in her power to try and get the two together.

"He doesn't like me that way," y/n told her as she tried to shut her best friend down. y/bf/n was open to open her mouth again but was cut off by her girlfriend Kadey.

"Oh yes he absolutely fucking does," Kadey bounced back. Just like y/bf/n, Kadey was also a determined shipped of the pair. It started about one month after they started dating and now three years later Kadey and y/bf/n were rooting for both of them. "I've seen the way he looks at you and he wants to fuck you good," Kadey winked at y/n, who almost choked on her drink by the statement.

"Then why does he bring home girls almost every night," y/n tried to retaliate but she could see it failed miserably as y/bf/n and Kadey stared at y/n with unamused looks.

"He trying to drown out the sorrow of lust towards the forbidden fruit that is you with other boring fruit," Kadey said dramatically.

"Good metaphor babe," y/bf/n said happily to her girlfriend, Kadey smiled in appreciation. "Listen how about you find yourself a cute guy to go home with and see if Tom gets jealous or not," y/bf/n spoke quickly before pointing to a single guy sitting at the middle of the bar. "How about him?"

y/n wanted to reject the idea, but she hadn't gotten laid in months. Besides he was really cute She rolled her eyes at the two women before grabbing her drink and making her way to the bar.

"Hey this seat taken?" y/n asked smoothly if she wasn't a little tipsy she would have hit her because of that line. The man was startled by y/n appearance, he turned and gave her a bright smile. He was even cuter up close, he had sandy blonde hair that went past his ears ever so slightly, he was muscular and had the most bright blue eyes she had ever seen.

"Please sit," the man spoke happily as he gestured for y/n to sit beside him. "Why are you at the bar tonight," he asked her sweetly his eyes looking at her intently.

"It's my best friend's birthday, we are all out tonight," y/n responded as she pointed the large group huddled in the corner.

"Oh well, you should get back to them don't want to steal you away," he told her politely as he gestured towards the group of people. y/n scoffed quietly.

"Oh it's fine, I was making plans to go home anyway, until I saw you sitting at the bar," she said, once again with sultry lacing her tone. She would usually never be like this but she was hungry for at least a make-out session tonight and he was gorgeous.

"Well, I'm Daniel," he introduced himself to her as he extended his arm to shake her hand. y/n take it and shook it, damn he had a good grip.

"y/n," she told him, smiling sweetly.

They talked for another hour, he really seemed like a genuinely sweet and honest guy but it was something about their conversation that had been underlying some hint of attraction and flirtation. y/n wanted to talk with him for hours but it wasn't until she checked her phone it was around 1 in the morning. Cursing to herself quietly y/n packed up her things and paid for her drinks.

"I'm sorry but I got to get home, my roommate is probably worried sick," y/n said politely expecting for Daniel bid her farewell but he stood up with her.

"Then I'll drop you home," he offered, she wanted to take him up on his offer but y/bf/n had picked y/n up, unfortunately when y/n looked for the group they were gone. She sighed defeated and turned to Daniel who had the biggest smile on his face.

The car ride was pleasant, Daniel and y/n talked some more, she couldn't quite recall what the conversation was about, something along the line of what they study in Uni. For some reason, y/n felt quite uncomfortable sitting in the passenger's seat, Daniel was a nice guy but for some reason, he reminded her of Tom and how he treated women. As soon as the thought crept into her head, y/n winced. Fortunately, she didn't have to endure it too much longer as Daniel pulled into her street, y/n insisted that he should just pull over to get out but he was determined to walk her to her door.

As they walked Daniel's hand rubbed soft circles on her shoulder. She wanted to flick his hand off her as the walked closer to the door, Daniel eyes avoided hers and kept peering at her house oddly. She finally reached the door and turned to face Daniel with a painful smile.

"Well thank you for walking me and hopefully we can talk lat-," she was cut off by Daniel's lips on hers. For someone who was so gorgeous his kissing really didn't live up to her standards. She quickly pulled away and placed her palm on his hard chest. He was smirked cockily and practically undressed her with his eyes, what had got him so riled up?

"I'll see you later," Daniel said smugly and turned away, leaving y/n quite confused. She unlocked the door and walked in only to be scared shitless by Tom standing at the bottom of the stairs peered at her.

y/n didn't say anything to him but instead made her way to drop her keys and take off her coat.

"How was the party," Tom asked shortly as he followed y/n path up the stairs.

"It was great, you really should have been there," y/n said sarcastically, which she could basically hear Tom's eyes roll.

"Who was that outside?" he once again asked but this time y/n could sense a tinge of anger in his voice.

"A guy I met at the party," y/n told him bluntly, as she started to undo her heels.

"Mh I think I've seen him around campus," Tom said quietly. "I don't think you should be getting involved with him," he said to her as if this was the worst mistake she could possibly do and y/n had enough of Tom self-entitled attitude.

"You know what Holland, I'll seep with who I want to," y/n snapped at him. "You are not my father."

"I am just looking out for you," Tom spoke as his voice seemed to get angrier.

"Looking out for me?" y/n laughed mockingly. "That's bullshit, you can't even fathom the idea of me fucking with someone can you," she roared at him, "Because I am that repulsive to you, aren't I," y/n yelled, now tears were slowly falling down her cheeks.

"God no, it's not because you're repulsive y/n," Tom shouted at her, "It's quite the opposite, I can't stand you being with another guy because I fucking love you," Tom admitted. For the second time, that night y/n was taken aback by words when Tom rushed to put his lips against hers in a passionate fury.

Without thinking, y/n returned his actions by moving her lips against his and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. She, unfortunately, snapped out of her lovesick haze and realised that she should not be doing this and quickly tore herself off Tom and pushed him away. Tom stared at her with confusion painted on his face.

y/n was a whirlwind of emotions, one hand she wanted to fling herself at Tom finally able to love him even for a night. Another was wanting to break down into tears, this was going to ruin everything, their friendship would fade because of an unnecessary moment of passion. Overall y/n felt absolute hatred towards Tom, how dare he ignore her for something she didn't do, then break her heart by refusing to go to the party with her and finally by denying her to live her life and keep her locked away while he got to sleep with any woman he would just look at.

"Get out," y/n breathed softly, her eyes filling with salty tears.

"What?" Tom asked, confusion still wrapped on his features.

"Leave me alone," y/n now said louder, her voice cracked with sobs as the tears ran down her cool face.

"y/n," Tom spoke lovingly, trying to calm her. She didn't want his soothing voice, she never wanted to hear it again if she was honest.

"Just go!" she yelled at him, eventually staring up at him. Tom was looking at her with worry filling his every emotion, his arms were outstretched as if to catch her from a fall. As soon as their eyes met, Tom felt everything she was feeling and immediately pulled away and took sorrowful steps towards the door, shutting it bit by bit.

As Tom left, y/n collapsed on the floor, her hands cradling her wet face. Everything had gone down in flames.

   ☆.｡.:*  

part 2?

jk yes i will write a part 2