#one ever again which is stupid and entirely untrue

[hydrobunny]

never took me quite where you do

tags: established relationship, fluff, silliness

a/n: based on king of my heart. (which was also my eras surprise song!!)

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"you haven't had a girlfriend?" you ask, surprise coloring your voice.

rin itoshi stares at you like you've suddenly got infinitely stupider. "not before you."

"that's," you start, then stop. actually, now that you're really thinking about it, it does make sense. "you know what, yeah. seems about right."

offense glares in his eyes as he leans away from you. "the hell does that mean?"

you raise your brows. "what do you think, rin?"

he fully untangles his limbs from yours at that, shoving himself off of the couch. you protest at his motion - a little halfheartedly, but the effort is there .

standing up to his full height, rin itoshi glares down at you.

you blink up at him, smiling with all the innocence you can muster. "yes?"

"do you know how much fan mail i get?" he grits out. "how many chocolates i've gotten on valentine's?"

it takes quite a lot of effort for you to not start laughing. "i do know how popular you are, yes. you should see the edits on tiktok."

"so why-" rin falters. "edits?"

"go on."

it takes him a second. "i could've had a girlfriend if i wanted to," he says at last. "i just didn't."

you nod, still biting back a smile. "mhm. i'm sure all the girls would've loved you after seeing that personality of yours." you scoot over, offering up the space on the couch again.

rin continues to stare, but you can see his will weakening. "not like anyone wanted to date your lukewarm ass either," he says with a finality.

you snort. "i thought you grew out of that word."

he rolls his eyes.

"also- factually untrue. i've had boyfriends before."

and rin's entire demeanor switches. "what?"

you wave your hand, dismissive. "not like a lot, but. an average amount to have for a high schooler, i think. none of it was ever serious. not like you," you grin.

rin doesn't return it. genuine shock bleeds through his face; he turns on his heel. "i'm going to bed."

"wha- rin?"

forty five minutes later, you breeze into your shared bedroom. your teeth are freshly brushed, your skin lotioned, and you're almost ready for a good night's sleep.

"are you actually still mad about- what the hell are you doing?"

rin freezes, one hand still on the computer mouse. from your vantage point, you can see every pixel on that screen.

"is that my high school boyfriend?"

he turns in the swivel chair, very clearly not in bed. the classic 'itoshi indifference,' as you've coined it, masks itself over his face.

you step closer. "rin. is that, or is that not, the instagram profile of my ex."

he nods, slowly.

"can i ask why you're looking at his profile?"

he begins to shake his head, and then changes his mind (a good choice). but rin itoshi has never been too good at keeping himself calm-

"he's unemployed."

there's a beat of silence.

"sorry?"

"jobless. a leech on society. useless as a human being," rin continues. "a complete ass of himself, basically."

you stare at him. he stares at you. and then-

you burst out laughing. "are you serious?"

rin seems surprised by your reaction. it makes you laugh even harder.

"oh my god- you've been stalking his socials? for the last, like, hour?' you broke your stupid athlete sleep schedule for this?" there are genuine tears welling in the corner of your eyes. "for a guy i dated years ago?"

a little self-conscious now, rin stands up. "i was trying to sleep for the first twenty minutes. after that.." he trails off.

and you slam into him with a hug, still laughing. "i love you so much."

he stiffens at the initial contact, but gives into your touch the moment after. "i love you too?"

you hum into his ear. "they don't matter anymore. you know that, right? they never did- not seriously enough. you're the only one."

rin doesn't reply.

"and i know you could have any girl you wanted. but that doesn't matter to me. because you want me. and i will never get enough of you, rin itoshi."

his voice is a low murmur. "me neither. no one's ever compared to you."

and he presses a kiss onto your lips, and it's better than anything you've ever had.

[lastoneout]

I have to say, I know that the science shows that trans athletes on HTR are usually in-line with the physical capabilities of their fellow cis atheletes...but saying "estrogen degrades a trans woman's athletic abilities" just feels like we're capitulating to the idea that women are weaker than men and offering legitimacy to the idea that sex/gender segregation in sports is correct and based on biological reality, and not the real truth, which is that people with estrogen-dominant endocrine systems can absolutely go toe-to-toe against athletes with testosterone dominant endocrine systems and win and society doesn't like the idea of a "woman" beating a "man" which is why women are shoved into women's leagues where they can be paid less, treated like shit, and ignored.

Like...I know it's small steps with some people, but desegregating sports has been a major feminist talking point since I was a little kid and we should never, EVER lose sight of the fact that women not being able to play against men has absolutely NOTHING to do with athletic ability and everything to do with people hating women, especially ones that can, and do, beat men. The entire anti-trans athlete argument is based on the idea that cis women are biologically weak and cannot, under any circumstances, beat a man at any test of physical or mental ability, so if we let trans women(who are seen as men by these people) play against cis women then the cis women will always lose.

And that is not fucking true, and it's not untrue because "estrogen makes you weaker", it's not fucking true because women are just as strong and capable as men and can beat them in a fair fight and they always fucking have been. Using this argument is akin to critiquing the draft by saying the way to fix it is to make it so women have to sign up too. You're missing the point, the draft existing at all is the problem and you should not legitimize it's existence by trying to force women to deal with it too. No one should be drafted.

And, again, trans and cis and intersex women can play against and beat trans and cis and intersex men at sports. And trans men can also beat cis men. The problem is not who is strong and who is weak, it's that segregating sports by gender is fucking stupid sexist bullshit, it always has been and it always will be and we should stop doing it.

Also the existence of sex/gender segregated sports will always be exorsexist and intersexist and harm anyone who doesn't fit into the bullshit false sex/gender binary. We shouldn't separate sports by gender or sex because HUMANS cannot be truly separated by those things. There's too much variance and diversity. Intersex kids and nonbinary kids and any kid who falls outside the binary ALSO deserves to be allowed to play sports. And in a system where we still have "men's" sports and "women's" sports athletes that aren't men or women are left in the fucking dust. WE SHOULD NEVER SUPPORT A SYSTEM THAT DOES THAT.

So please, stop using the argument that estrogen makes trans women weak like "real women" and that's why they should be allowed into women's sports. On top of just being a really fucking sexist thing to say in general, it's ceding ground to deeply misogynistic and racist beliefs about women and their abilities, on top of legitimizing a system that fucks women over constantly and was built specifically to hold women back, and we can absolutely defend trans athletes(as well as intersex and nonbinary athletes) without falling back on the idea that there's only two sexes/genders and being a woman makes you weaker than a man always no matter what and testosterone is a magic ticket to being strong and makes you good at sports.

When a transphobe asks if you think it's okay for men to play against women you do not answer by explaining that estrogen HRT makes trans women as weak as real women or that trans women are actually women or that trans men are as strong as men due to HTR or are men, you respond by saying yes, I do fucking think it's okay because segregating sports by gender is horseshit that started with a bunch of misogynistic racists throwing a fit about a black teenage girl striking out two of the greatest baseball players of all time in the same game. Women's sports were born out of wanting an excuse to stop women from achieving as much as men, to pay them less, ignore them, and treat them like shit and we should move past that as a society. Idc what the reasoning is, supporting this binary ass view of sex and gender as if it's based at all in reality is not helping trans people, it's hurting them. If you can learn that the old guy in charge of FIFA used to say if female players want to be paid attention to they should just dress sexier despite the US women's team outperforming the men's team all the time and somehow still think any of this is about ability or skill or some biological reality then you aren't serious about trans and intersex liberation and do have a lot of internal misogyny you need to work on.

Stop defending trans people by legitimizing sexism and sex/bioessentialism. Women are strong, trans and cis and intersex, and they can do absolutely anything a man can do, as can nonbinary(intersex or not) people and trans men. The idea that any woman is biologically weaker than any given man is wrong. There is no biological reality supporting this idea. Stop telling little girls that they're weak, especially trans girls and trans men(since people see them as broken women who are weaker than men and shouldn't be allowed in men's sports) holy fuck, and stop telling them that the existence of women's sports is some just and correct thing when they're literally based on the idea that women are frail, weak little flowers who could get blown over by a stiff breeze and never beat a man at anything and were created as a response to women beating men at sports.

For now I do 100% believe trans kids should be allowed to play sports on whichever side feels right for them for any number of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with biological ability or winning, but aside from that, I don't actually think that trans women should be playing women's sports because I do not think women's sports should exist at all. All people, trans, cis, intersex, ect. should be able to play against each other because that is the world that actually protects and cares for trans and intersex people and women. Discard the binary, stop pretending women are weaker than men, stop erasing the bigoted reason women's sports even exist in the first place, and NEVER say that estrogen degrades athletic ability. You sound like the guy who tried to keep women out of the Boston Marathon on the basis that "no women could actually run 26 miles" that's who you fucking sound like when you say that. So stop fucking saying it.

[felixdragonheartofficial]

TFP KINDA SUCKS RANT

Unfiltered opinion below ⬇️(long)

Transformers prime

Listen, you can like what you like, but tfp is not the Pinnacle of transformers media like every salty old fan of it says it is

Repetitive soundtrack

The soundtrack isn't varied, all of the music is comprised of grandiose orchestral pieces that become so goddamn repetitive it leaves you feeling empty. There's never any other emotion present in the music other than

"feel epic now pls"

I shit you not. There are scenes that are "supposed" to be funny, but it's just stale dialogue with absolutely no background music so it doesn't work at all. Any emotion conveyed with music is either epic, sad, or action and nothing else

"Haha, no moments of silly, that would kill the seriousnesz emo vibe U_U"

Terrible setting

Tfp is also much more visually unappealing due to the uncanny af models, the barren and drab backgrounds, and a convenient lack of humans to "disguise" from

not to mention how fuckin weird they look

sims 4 mfs

I'm so sick of animation elitists saying TFP's the better show because it's 3D and 3D is somehow Automatically better because it's "more advanced and sophisticated" which if you ever dipped your fingers into animation at all, you'd know how untrue that is

Feats of storytelling can be attained with either or, and the execution is dependent on the style and narrative that the show presents

TFP was trying to go for a visually darker theme, which is why they went for a realism. The only problem is that the settings are bleak and devoid of any soul

Speaking of which

Robots in disguise... From what???

Outside of team prime, there are literally no humans with speaking roles that have actual story importance

except for Silas

until there are infact- no, non-team humans of significance ever again, either because they couldn't afford the voice actors anymore, or they just chose to never bring them up again.

We don't get to actually see people, we only see the implication of human dwelling and it's lackluster.

There's never any of that conflict or tension that the show promised with the disguise plot, and It pisses me off so much because not only do a bare few of the fights happen around or inside of inhabited areas

but these robots

ARE LOUD

HOW THE HELL HAS NOBODY WALKED OUTSIDE OF THEIR HOUSE TO CHECK

A N Y T H I N G

"Honey, do you hear that loud, metallic ripping and obnoxious plasma fire?"

"Must be the neighbors shagging, Gerald. Don't be such a paranoid freak<3"

"Fair enough Cathleen, let's go back to playing spiderman 2 for the ps5"

"robots In disguise"

respectfully, Hasbro- you can eat out my entire ass with your forked tongue, ye fuckin liars✨

The Nothing Narrative

Tfp legit feels like the circle jerk of patriotism, oh my god.

Sure, it sounds far fetched but let's not forget that this show has agent fowler sucking off the American government every chance he gets

Its so audacious to show the devastation that war brought to cybertron, only to turn around and be like

"So kiddos, wanna join le special forces" at the end of it

How can you be anti war and pro US military?

The US

The leading imperialistic force in the world for the last 200+ years?

That's who you wanna prop up as a stand up figure in your "war is bad" show??

H o w

How Does That W o r k that's so fucking stupid

Wasted potential

considering wasted character opportunities that pissed everyone off, tfp weighs down the heaviest

1.Breakdown could've joined the autobots-killed off because they couldn't afford the va

2.Airachnid could've come back as a larger threat with her hoard of zombie/vampire insecticons -transported to Luna 1 and then never seen from again because they couldn't afford the va

3.cybertronian pirates were supposed to appear but didn't because they didn't use their own production bible

And that shit show sequel

(nice one hasbro, you really rodded yourself up the asshole with a ferocity for the millionth time)

Oh and that one moment that legit pissed me off

When megatron pulled that

"because I now know the true meaning of oppression, and have thus lost my taste for inflicting it"

😐

This prompts the question for me

Why would you even waste the little budget that you had creating this show with a premise that literally lies to the audience??

Its so funny that people meatride this show so hard because of animation elitist bullshit like "3D animation is better than 2D"

And yet, despite the scathing review I just gave I do not gaf if you watch this show and like it, that's literally great for you

But don't ever claim that it does narratives better than TFA/Earthspark dude, omg

[mondstaub1]

Home isn't a place, it's a feeling and I lost it.

I never felt "at home" at one spezifice place. I could be on holiday and "home" was the hotel-room. When my family moved out of my childhood home it didn't matter since I thought love was with the people I care about. Well resently my homelife has been a bit difficult because I keep arguing with my stepfather and it starts to feel like a mindfield ever time I come home. Often we argue over stupid, little things and the thing is, that he is mostly right. I know this and I try to be better but it's just never enought. I am to old for this mess but it is driving me crazy.

The wierd thing is, he only freaks out at me over this and only resently. He didn't care when it was his kid and true I am not the cleanest person (I clean like once a week or so) but he acts like I distroy the house. Normally it's stuff like: I didn't fold the towel the way he wanted or I left one plate in the sink or I forgot to emty the facum after cleaning. And I try so hard but he always finds something. Like when he and my mum went on holiday for a week and I cleaned the house top to bottom. When they came back he was pissed at me because his son felt the lights on and I didn't call him to switch them off. (I couldn't swich them off myself because I didn't have the key for the room where the switch was) or when I made chrismas cookies and woke up at 5 am. to clean up because the cookies had to harden and cool overnight. I cleaned the entire kitchen but forgot ONE spot in the oven where a bit of floor was. When I saw him that morning that was the first and only thing he said to me. He keeps saying he wants me to help out more but whenever I ask if they need help I am told "no" (like 9 out of 10 times) and he sees annoyed that I even asked. Or I come home after over 12 hours and want to eat my only meal of the day, they are in the garden. I didn't even saw them at the beginning. When I walked in they said hello, I greeded them, told them I was cold and that I would make dinner (we eat seperatly because of our sedules). The next day he was pissed because I didn't offer the help them then and there. It's not like I wouldn't have helped I just didn't think to ask in that moment and they say they shouldn't have to ask because I should see it all on my own.

There are a few other incidents but listing them would take forever. Point is I can't do this anymore. It's hurting my mum and I feel like I have no home any longer. I can't move out because I am still studying and have to leave for months at a time to go to the only school for what I am studying which is over 2 hours away and with what I earn an aparment is not an option. The hole thing is so fustrating because we used to get along so well. I even helped when I wanted to propose to my mum but now I dread hearing his voice because that means no more leaving my room or risking an argument.

Again I know he is not wrong but every small thing is suddenly the end of the world and no matter how much I try to think of every single thing, he always finds something new I did wrong. I can't wait to move out but that will take over a year still.

Yesterday we had our worst fight yet and if I had been his daughter I think he would might have hit me. I almost told him that it wasn't his buisness what I do with my room (it was made very clear that as long as I don't break anything my room is my buisness only) but I stopped myself because it is still his house and I realised that saying that would not only be untrue but also disrespectful. He challanged me to say more even though I tried to explain myself. The look in his eyes scared me. My mum stept between us then and I started crying because I hate this. I want to be as orderly as they want and I don't want to fight but it's never good enough. It's not like he is super clean either. He used to be way messier but suddently ever spot I foget to clean makes me unresponsible. Meanwhile he or his son can leave everything standing there and I can't say anything because I am not orderly enough.

After our fight I went into my room and broke down a bit because I relised that I didn't feel save or at home anymore. Well I don't feel unsave but it's like being at work kind of save where you don't have to fear harm but at ever moment your boss could come in and scold you or give you extra work. I feel like I lost my save space because I am not at home. I am a guest who overstayed my welcome. He used to tell me that I could live there as long as I wanted but a few minutes later he told me it was his house and if I didn't like something I should leave. I offered to pay rent but he doesn't want it. He wants me to be grateful that he fixed up the room when I moved and I am but a new wallpaper doesn't make a home.

I already thing of where I can stay after work so that I only have to slep there. I mean it works for his son. They used to fight all the time even after he "gave up trying" (which considering that my stepbrother really isn't that bad seems like a shit thing to say about your kid). Now my stepbrother is at his girlfriends parents house all the time and only comes every few weeks. He is still messier then me but since he is never there it doesn't matter when he leaves everything out. Meanwhile I get order to come at ever small mistake like a dog. It's true that I don't like cleaning, who does? That doesn't mean I will become a messy or that i don't clean up after myself.

I will not go to my mum with his because she is so happy with him and they love each other so much and I don't want to burden her with his. I should be better at this! I am an adult but I can't get out of this situation.

Sorry for the rant and any mistakes. English is not my native language but I feel like I can express myself better in english.

[fizzingwizard]

*sigh* (politics family the usual...)

Today my dad sent me a video from Fox News and asked me to watch it "for him." So I did! Because 1) Art of War, "know your enemy! and 2) I'm not scared of Fox News lol.

If anything, what I learned is to be even less scared of it.

The title of the video was about how horrible education in the US has become. I prepared myself for a video praising the cuts or even elimination of the US Dept of Ed, as well as a mix of points I disagree with with probably a few I agree with regarding the state of the education system. Simply put, I don't agree with things like taxpayer money being used to fund religious institutions, I don't agree with cutting funds to needy schools, and I don't agree with pretending lgbt people (and students) exist. But I do agree that we need to do something different in terms of how we utilize resources, how new data is implemented in schools (because sometimes it's just not!), and other stuff.

... Not that the video mentioned ANY of that. The shoutout to education in the title was a red herring. I prepped myself to be discerning and fair for absolutely nothing!! Instead, within the first twenty seconds of the video, Sean Hannity managed to name every single conservative talking point of the last election, asking how Democrats could possibly support any of those Obviously Terrible(tm) things? It's just soooo wild that Democrats wouldn't jump right in on the anti-trans vitriol and the sudden slew of deportations!

Literally the entire video was just typical Fox talking heads expressing their horror and inability to comprehend Democrat motives, while occasionally reassuring the audience that one day we will Get Over Our Delusion and come around to Their Much Better Side. Seriously. It described liberal views as our "secular religion" lol. It was completely out of touch. But more importantly, not a shred of actual fact was to be found anywhere. It was pure righteous fury. "We don't need to back our views up with evidence because COMMON SENSE should just TELL you we're right!"

I was honestly stunned. I am sure there are better arguments on Fox (I mean personally I wouldn't even consider anything in this video an "argument" - echo chamber seems more appropriate). But this is the vid my dad sent me, thinking it would change my opinions? This video, which does nothing but insult democrats, praise Trump (including, weirdest of all, praising him for something he hasn't done??) and offers no facts at all?

The absolutely kindest word I could use to describe that video would be "disingenuous."

So is it that my dad thinks I'm so stupid that something this banal could convince me that I'm suddenly a conservative who loves Trump? Or is it that he's so far gone into the MAGA pseudo-cult :) that he legit thinks this kind of completely vapid video is informative?

Oh, a fav part from the vid - Newt Gingrich complained that using curse words in Congress is soooo awful. And like I'm not necessarily disagreeing with that... because I think restraint and respect are kind of vital to collaboration in a country of diversity... But for pete's sake. The cognitive dissonance. Look who your president is!! They really, really think that a word is only bad if it's fuck or something - hell those bother them way more than racial slurs! Meanwhile it's fine for Trump and Musk to say all kinds of garbage about whoever they want, true or untrue, because at least they don't say "fuck" or some shit???? The hold swear words have on the American psyche is really some bonkers shit. Living in Japan where there really aren't any "evil" words (except "vagina" 9_9), my head feels like it's going to implode.

(btw the plan is to not say anything to my dad. if he asks if i watched i'll say yes. if we asks what i think i'll say i don't want to talk politics. if he presses me i'll ask if he's ever checked out even one of the news links i share. there's no way he has but if he says yes anyway i'll tell him again i'm not discussing politics with him. and if presses me again i'll tell him the video was disingenuous and i dont want to talk politics with him. and what happens after that is anyone's guess.)

[izzysbeans]

i often find that i hate modern journalism for a variety of reasons but today ive had it with "media analysis" type articles. i just read the dumbest article about spirited away (which is a masterpiece and one of my absolute favorite animated movies of all time btw) and it was so fucking stupid I'd rather jump off a building then read that shit again. the very clickbaity title of the article insinuated Miyazaki himself had very recently spoken about the movie. In reality the article contained very few actual quotes from him, some of them completely taken out of context, all from an interview he did when the movie came out, and in which he explained the basic premise of the movie, because it turns out many critics (unsurprisingly) completely misunderstood it. The article was SO LONG for absolutely no reason considering its complete and utter lack of substance, and it framed Miyazaki's words in that old interview in such a way that made it seem like no one who ever watched and appreciated the movie actually understood what it was about which is obviously untrue.

I can't believe that an entire real human being got paid real money to write and publish that pile of garbage just so i could experience the very deep and uncomfortable desire to gouge my own eyes out.

[fleshsigil]

today i laid down - review

//content warning: discussion of depression/self-harm/suicide

And we let it out Where they can't see In my room, up your arms Who will you dress as tonight? And why's it always me?

this EP was an especially hard thing to review for me. probably even harder than the sky may be, considering the subject matter and backstory, but i think it's something i absolutely need to recommend anyway because it needs to be heard.

today i laid down is a cathartic, lilting fusion of post-rock and classic alt-rock released in 2023 by kai wesener under the pseudonym bl4ck m4rket c4rt. when i was originally recommended this, i was skeptical; i don't rate music with numbers because that's stupid, but needless to say, it is now in my top 3 EPs of all time. i think it is truly one of the best pieces of music that i have ever listened to.

today i laid down consists of only six songs, but it feels like a full-length album. i can't explain it. the soundscapes and crescendos are constantly mutating, but still cozy and acoustic. the mostly acoustic sounding instruments lend the songs this beautiful, shoegazey texture that is incredibly lush and full of life. at times, there are cowbells, triangles, pianos, and xylophones that also add an extra layer of depth and beauty to the songs. the only thing that i can really say about the actual songs is that they're fucking amazing. there is not a single bad, or even okay, song on this entire EP. each one has its own unique identity, but they still fit together perfectly as a whole. there are parts with rich, warm synths; there are parts with psychedelic keyboard sounds. it all works. kai obviously has an incredibly good ear for music theory and sound design, because the songs manage to be pretty catchy while also having this unique, ecstatic, layered feel that not much else has. there's the transcendentality of sigur ros, the blown-out shoegazey textures of mogwai and my bloody valentine, and the warmth that radiates from most acoustic indie rock projects. a few of the songs are shorter than 3 minutes or so, and still manage to feel drawn out and constantly changing. i think it's a masterclass of instrumental layering and rock fusion.

the lyrical content combined with the cathartic, yearning instrumentals is what makes this EP truly impactful and haunting. if you don't pay attention to the lyrics, then the EP might appear somewhat happy, or just wistful. if you take into consideration the events that transpired a few months after the EP released, these lyrics, which are barely audible over the drone of the guitar, are utterly fucking haunting. they are no longer empty threats or thoughts converted into music. the lyrics themselves detail traumatic memories, self-harm, feeling inadequate, not wanting to get out of bed, and dying together but alone. saying that what happened after its release made the EP "better" is completely untrue and completely distasteful; if anything, it's all the more haunting and fucked-up. the lyrics went from something being sung to a collection of thoughts, painting a picture of the mind of someone who was suffering. i have been in that headspace before, and still am sometimes, and this EP is like a reminder to not let myself succumb. not like a cautionary tale, but more of a fucked-up testament to the fact that depression is real and immediate and it kills people; it hurts everyone around you, too. the first time that i read about the backstory of the EP, half an hour later i was listening to it again, looked at the cat on the album cover, and almost cried. all i could think about was the fact that the cat probably misses its owner a lot, or wonders where he's gone. then i thought about my own dog, and the fact that she would probably miss me a lot too, and i told myself i would try my best to not let myself give in.

this EP is truly one of the best things i've ever heard, lyrical and thematic impact aside, and incredibly cathartic. it emanates blissful, bitter acceptance and hollow warmth. overall, it is a must-listen, even if the subject matter doesn't pertain to you.

rest in peace, kai.

LINKS TO EP ON SPOTIFY AND BANDCAMP BELOW

(i post music recommendations sometimes, if you want more of that kind of thing, you should follow me)

(PS: i totally lied about doing a happier album that's not about crushing depression, who knows what i'm going to review the next time. probably more sad shit.)

[nikkisticki]

I'd like to hear about dark souls if you mean it :)

Oh, the Ds3 thing?

Alright, so Ds1 is a video game...and it's meant to be Miyazaki's big reflection on Demon Souls and a lot of ideas that have been bouncing around his head, and the endings are meant to be viewed by themselves. Miyazaki was adamantly against any sequel and had no intention of continuing this world.

If you're not aware, two endings await you at the end of DS1, either you light yourself on fire and let your immense soul burn to revitalize reality, or you abandon it and permit the age of Light to fade, instead ruling it as the Dark Lord.

Now, a basic interpretation would be that these are on a Good/Evil axis, which is blatantly untrue. Both endings are intentionally left vague and what happens afterwards effectively up to you, the player.

Perhaps lighting yourself on fire starts a new thousand year era of peace, but to what end, another great hollowing that forces another to repeat this process, buying smaller and smaller periods of "good" eras as less and less souls can be found to burn?

Or, perhaps the second lighting led to others seeking pilgrimage to continue the tradition, burning themselves to keep the world running and never permitting it to occur again.

Similarly, the dark ending could be that you've allowed endless darkness to consume the decaying bones of reality...or perhaps you wisely realized that going Hollow was a flaw of Humanity (the thing in your chest), and sought to correct it, to create a new age or dark where humans can prosper freely and not under the rule of tyrant gods.

it's entirely left to you, and meant to represent that you've overcome this lands Gods to do...something. Something that Miyazaki specifically wanted to be left to you, not given concrete meaning by a game he didn't make-

Now, post launch, Miyazaki moves immediately onto Bloodborne, but the current head of the company (who would be later assassinated by Miyazaki and replaced by him) wanted MORE MONEY, and wanted Miyazaki to make a sequel, a sequel he firmly believed shouldn't ever exist.

So they got some other guy to make it! Halfway through development of Ds2, that guy was replaced by one of Miyazaki's best (Yui Tanimura) after the whole Assassination thing (it's true look it up by searching "Ds2 assassin r34"), who then tried to put what he could together...but at the end of the day, Ds2's base existence shits on Ds1.

Ds2 makes the very silly argument that the Age of Light and the Age of Dark are just two ways that reality always goes, that this process has been repeated over and over and over with the four Gods eternally reincarnated into new bodies or otherwise represented (One of the last Witches of Izalith possesses the Lost Sinner, The Rotten is LITERALLY JUST A BABY NITO, The Duke himself is Seath being reincarnated and the stupid fucking Balrog is Gywn, somehow?) and no matter what you do, you're fucked and realities fucked.

I'm going to ignore talking about ds2 anymore as I'd have to stop and explain some of the actually good ideas (like the shards of Manus), but just by existing DS2 says that Ds1's ending is meaningless and pointless.

Now, Ds3 comes around and is clearly Miyazaki's last straw, clearly a game he felt compelled to make to clean up Dark Souls image, and put it to rest forever. These endless cycles have led to countless Kings and Lords who've all been long forgotten, reality itself has fallen apart and now regions are just in the wrong place (The entrance to Irithyll is actually blocked off by the mountain that the Carthus Catacombs exist within, which is not where it's suppose to be if you look at the road leading into town), with every ending a variation of "Reality is FUCKING DONE FOR", and the true ending post the dlc confirms both in canon and out that the next world should be one entirely different then this (check out the painters dialogue for that).

However, what's particularly fascinating is that entities that should be dead simply aren't, like Ornstein who has been killed twice in two games and yet still somehow was with the Nameless King. Some people take to the belief that Ds1's Ornstein was a golem and Ds2's Ornstein is the real deal, but in actuality I believe it's meant to be part of the timeline thing.

I'd try to find the interview, but as Miyazaki has given HUNDREDS OF THEM, I'll never find it without spending an hour looking, but as I mentioned previously Miyazaki has tried to explain before that the timeline of the games isn't directly linear, and how is pretty simple to figure out.

In Ds1's own canon, once you complete the game this becomes its own seperate timeline, meaning these endless cycles don't occur as the Chosen Undead does whatever you the player wanted, making DS2/Ds3 noncanon to your playthrough, while DS2 is effectively turned into a sort of "What if...?" game, with it's ending having the same rule.

This can be gathered if you at look at Wolnir (also known as Big Skeleton OG) and his crown of many lords he took from them which the Bearer of the Curse should instead possess, but additional points can be made such as that Tarkus knockoff invader carrying one of the rings of the Ivory Knights, who he supposedly killed the last of (which is impossible as the last of them joined you in putting down the Ivory King). There's some more evidence to be gathered, but the key one is that none of the games ever mention other games protagonists, nobody ever says "HEY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BEARER OF THE CURSE? DUDE HAS A LASER SWORD!", because they never came to be.

Ds3 then sits as the final gasp of the series, entirely demanding that another game in this timeline can never occur (although Miyazaki could change his mind, he has mentioned the idea of a prequel to Ds1 once or twice) and effectively just exists to make Ds2 less ruinous to Ds1.

There's a good chunk more, but essentially

Ds1 ----> Ds1 Ending

Ds2 -----> Ds2 Ending

Ds3 -----> Ds3 Ending

[cagedchoices]

I saw a post the other day that said it's weird when people say “[muse name] is so spicy right now” because, in their words, “people who do that are just writing smut as a self-insert fantasy to get off to" I thought that was kind of reductive and untrue and it kind of highlights a growing issue I’ve noticed in the RPC and I kind of just wanted to talk about it from my own perspective.

I am an asexual, aromantic, and nonbinary afab person. My most consistently present roleplay muse for the past 4 years is a cis man I headcanon to be bisexual and biromantic. I feel like it should be somewhat obvious that this is not a self insert fantasy for me, but if it's not that obvious, I'll try to explain.

Initially, I based Caleb's sexuality off an admittedly narrow perception of his canon background. I interpreted his relationship with Francis as romantic partially because at the time, I thought “There’s no heterosexual explanation for how emotional Caleb gets whenever he thinks about Francis, so therefore he must have been in love with this man.”

In addition to that, Caleb had 2 failed relationships after Francis died and there’s nothing dictating what gender(s) those partners were.

I was also partially motivated by spite. How many times has everyone heard “ugh not every close emotional bond between two men has to be gay 😒” ? How many times has that been used to shut down any conversation on the question of sexuality when it involves two male characters? I was sick of it.

I used to say that though. Before I knew any better. I'd see two characters who had a connection I liked seeing as platonic, and instead of reasoning that it's perfectly valid to interpret these characters how you want, I would be like “no. absolutely not. these characters aren't gay because the author didn't write them to be and didn't say they were and actually it's pretty homophobic to think the only way men can be emotionally vulnerable is if they're gay” which is…STUPID lmao don't be like Past Me. That was a DARVO tactic and a particularly shitty one at that. I'm not like that anymore and I'm glad I learned to do better.

Anyways... I love shipping, but I’m less attached to looking through shipping goggles these days and I try not to look at anything from such a narrow point of view anymore. Now whenever I think about the bond between Caleb and Francis, I can see it in a multitude of ways. Which is the same way I see his bond with Dolores in season 3 and his bond with Maeve in season 4. And further how I see potential for ships I develop in roleplay.

But recently I'd been struggling a little bit with truly defining the difference between romantic versus platonic ideals. Most of the generic definitions I see out there describe romantic attraction as being “the desire to do romantic things with someone” and then the examples listed are something like “kissing, holding hands, getting married, spending time together, etc.” and I'm just like “okay what about when people do those things *without* romantic attraction involved?”

Like it just breaks my brain. People get married for reasons that aren't out of love sometimes. And as much as I like kiss scenes in fiction and I like writing them when my brain stops short circuiting long enough to actually do that, I think the entire act of putting your mouth on another human’s mouth and sometimes getting tongues or teeth involved in smushing your lips together over and over again is a really weird ritual to show someone you like them. I still write it though because it's cute. As for holding hands and spending time together?? Are we just not supposed to spend time with friends ever? What the fuck.

I stumbled across a video a few days ago by a neuroscientist who has studied the concept of love in the human brain and what she said helped me put things into a better perspective. Someone asked her if there's a good way to differentiate between platonic and romantic relationships when, especially in modern society, we don't have as much separation between the things humans do WITH romantic partners versus in non-romantic relationships and the lines blur more than they used to in the past.

What she said was that romantic love behaves similarly to an obsession or addiction in the brain. It's not just the fact that you want to DO so-called romantic activities with someone, it's more that you want to do them so badly with a specific person, you can't really let go of the thought until you follow the impulse to do it.

Kissing, for example. It's possible you might want to kiss a friend you have a strong platonic bond with, but if you don’t do it, then the interest usually fades and the brain will quickly move on. On the other hand, if you have a crush/partner/spouse/any kind of romantic connection and you want to kiss them, the brain will most likely fixate on the thought of kissing them until you actually go and do something. It will not fully move on until it gets the dopamine hit.

I guess since I’m aromantic, this means that for me, I don’t experience that addictive feeling of wanting to do something with someone so badly that it's all I think about. But I write a muse who is biromantic and does experience romantic attraction, which sort of requires me to know how it works, so I can actually write about it.

I see sexual attraction in a similar way. I’m asexual and in my case, I'm one of the ones who doesn't experience sexual attraction in any way and is not comfortable with being personally involved in sex. But my muse is bisexual and does experience sexual attraction.

So I decided to start writing smutty things last year and I had a couple reasons for it. The first is that I had never actually written smut before so it was something new to try, and practice would mean I would get better at it.

The second was that I have watched, for years, many of my mutuals routinely participate in sexy sunday and similar things. It probably sounds kind of like peer pressure, but it wasn’t like anyone was really encouraging me to do anything or not do anything. It was more like after years and years of existing in my own bubble of never engaging in it, I wanted to see what I was missing. Completely my choice.

Thirdly, after tackling the subjects of “where the fuck do you put your hands?” “does this position sound physically possible? or...comfortable?” and the like, writing simple kiss scenes or non-sexual intimacy no longer feels like a monumental task that I mentally freeze up on the second I realize I have to write.

For a while it also got very hard for me to figure out when someone wanted to ship with me versus when they didn’t. I was afraid to ask. I started overthinking everything to the effect of “what if they think I’m being presumptuous and pressuring them into writing a romantic relationship they don’t want?” or “what if they are afraid to tell me they actually Are interested in a ship in case i think they’re trying to pressure me into it instead?”

There was also quite a bit of “oh god what if they see that i wrote my muse on a date with someone in a certain location and when i put our muses in that same location for a different thread they think it’s a date too when it’s not?” or even “what if a mun of a duplicate muse sees me writing a ship with a different partner writing the same muse and they start thinking i’m only writing with them to add them to a weird little collection or something?” and all the social anxiety I fall victim to when my mental health gets tanked by stress and depression.

All of this to say, now that I’ve climbed back out of the pit of despair I fell into… I don’t think anything is as simple as “people only write shipping to fulfill the desire for a relationship/people only write smut to fulfill their own sexual desires.” I think you have to take it on a case by case basis and not make broad assumptions. Otherwise all you're gonna do is alienate people over things that really don't matter.

Plus, maybe it's just that “[muse name] is feeling so spicy right now!” is a lot quicker and easier to say than “the part of my subconscious imagination that [muse name] occupies is telling me that if this muse were a real person, they would be feeling sexually aroused right about now and I'm willing to write about it!” so like. Y’know.

[zumpietoo]

An Anti-Handmaiden's Tale Rant....

Soo....okay, just gonna get geared up on why I kinda hate it all, in all its incarnations, etc (and don't find it especially progressive or feminist....)

So, first off....the entire OG premise has no shortage of pure, unadulterated mean girling, and the entire basis is "I'm not like OTHER girls"....then, ultimately? The main character is saved by a buncha dudes....and yeah, obviously, not ALL dudes are christo-fascist misogynists, but still....it's gross.

It's also inherently racist and, weirdly, depise Gilead quite closely mirroring how life was for many black slaves in this country? She's never, EVER mentioned THAT as her inspiration (in fact, everything she draws from is based on the plight of white wimmin far longer ago/in the bible (so potentially fully untrue)/in cults/fascist dictatorships/etc.....)

AND then consider, Atwood, herself, would later back a dude repeatedly accused of sexual harassment/assault, while ignoring the many, repeated claims made by victims who came forward....

That said, the series, (which she looovvess), OFC, is ninety billion times worse...

For starters, it's created by a dude....and, again, not saying dudes can't be feminist, etc, buuuutt.....

It's apparently, full bore misery porn violence against wimmin, with, yet again, wimmin, actually? Reduced to stereotypes....and, guess what? None of this is needed or feminist.

I found a considerable lot on how fucking racist it is, black women are either "best friends"/side characters or overwhelmingly, mammies (sooooo thinly veiled as "Marthas")....I even stumbled on some reddit thread seeking to disprove this with "well there's one commander who's black and HE even has a pregnant wife, making all the other sexist pigs jelly...."....great, so there's also tokenism.

Much progressive. Very inspiring.

I even stumbled upon a blog that dared have "history" in its name, while claiming how historical it all was....an example of their stupid?

There was a time where the only job women could have was that of a "fallen woman" and Charles Dickens sympathized with these "fallen women" in his books....

AHEM....while, unquestionably, career choices had long been severely limited for our gender, it was not that of "prostitute or nothing".....what does this fucking moron think being a maid, dressmaker, cook, governess or housekeeper were?

Yes, all were limited, etc....but they were all jobs that paid $$$ and presumably didn't require turning tricks. As for Dickens, boyfriend was NOT sympathetic to women, at ALL.....dude was a gross, elitist, cheating misogynist whose ideal lady was his own wife's sister, cuz she sat quietly in the corner, while sweetly sacrificing everything she had for others. And was skinny, cuz his wife had put on a few having HIS kids.

This person further states commander's wives have nothing left to do but sit home, while knitting and praying for a baby....just like in the 1950s.....umm, dude....wimmin DID have the right to vote and there were plenty of peeps (of all races) gearing up to start really protesting moving forward. Please stop being so fucking ignorant.

Additionally, while, again, yes, absolutely, life sucks for them too (and it's heelarious that Serena Joy was too fucking dumb to grasp that when she was working with them to overthrow shit), the fact is, being a politician (or other influential person's) spouse has always been a verrrryyyy full time job, in and of itself.

As Martha Stewart (an educated, actual prominent feminist, herself) has fully proven, and can turn itself entirely into an eventual mega career.

Then factor that it also (OFC) buries the gheys----AND that it stars a woman who, herself, is in a fucking elitist, gay-hating, misogynistic cult (Elisabeth Moss is a HUGE Scientologist) that publicly supports violence against women.

And, for the record, Moss never has and never will be an especially good actress.

So what are we left with? Some jerk quietly fapping to his misery porn about the manic pixie dreem girl who's pissed off cuz lost all her white privilege (after having taken it for granted and treated other wimmin like shit all her life).....and that we should be worried cuz we could lose white privilege too.

[punkscowardschampions]

Teddy & Chloe & Ava & Gia

Teddy: Trouble in paradise? 🥺 

Teddy: do tell me what’s wrong

Chloé: Why don’t you grab yourself another 🍹 and shut up?

Teddy: Darling, don’t be like that

Teddy: you know you’re my favourite sister

Chloé: That would only be a compliment if yours wasn’t a massively boring bitch

Teddy: but she is, don’t you be boring too

Chloé: Your entire family is, a complete and utter bore fest that I’m languishing in

Teddy: Untrue

Teddy: come & play [some rich people sport or game idk] with me

Teddy: I’ll sneak you a 🍹

Chloé: I can’t, the baby will come out simple and deformed

Chloé: I can’t do anything because of these stupid babies

Teddy: it’s A drink & isn’t it basically fully formed by now anyway

Teddy: our secret, I promise

Chloé: He’ll only use it to make his case for full custody

Teddy: he won’t know

Chloé: That would require him to pay attention to me

Teddy: Precisely & he’d rather be daddy or write in his little notebook

Chloé: You could steal it for me, see what’s in it

Teddy: I could

Teddy: would that cheer you up?

Chloé: It might

Teddy: Okay, I will

Teddy: then you’ll believe I love you

Chloé: There must be something in there, he’s always writing 

Teddy: Naturally, it’ll contain his deepest darkest desires

Teddy: & tedious as those will be, we’ll know things he doesn’t want us to

Chloé: He’s with someone, he doesn’t act like this when he’s alone

Teddy: I told you, Ava

Chloé: Yes but you’re a liar and you have no evidence

Chloé: for all I know you’re mad at her for some unrelated teenage angst

Teddy: her refusal to sleep with me is irrelevant, or should I say only relevant because she’s clearly fucking my brother

Chloé: He has 2 kids, trust me, that takes away all the appeal he may otherwise have

Teddy: oh please, her family tree is littered with unwanted brats, it probably counts as foreplay

Chloé: It doesn’t, I was friends with her brother and sister

Teddy: I’m friends with HER, I trump you there

Chloé: What’s she like?

Teddy: off girls at the moment & as I warned you before he’s exactly her type

Chloé: He’s no one’s type, not now

Teddy: Oh darling, get real

Chloé: Parenting robs you of any personality, I’m serious, don’t ever do it

Teddy: firstly I would never, secondly, she barely has a personality at 16

Teddy: if you think G is a bore… she absolutely isn’t her sister, that’s all I’ll add

Chloé: Why are you just depressing me further?

Teddy: Because it would make me sad to see you humiliated at anyone’s hands but mine

Chloé: You’re nothing to do with me

Chloé: Not once James makes the humiliation final

Teddy: nonsense, we’re family

Chloé: If I were related to your family, I’d kill myself

Teddy: we’ve all considered a dramatic suicide, what day is it? Tuesday? Thursday? That’s standard fare for either

Chloé: I booked this stupid mini-break for him

Teddy: Of course, you’re a fantastic wife

Chloé: Not according to him

Teddy: & what would he know about it? He’s a fool

Chloé: Yeah, he really is

Teddy: you should totally have a holiday fling, I intend to

Chloé: Don’t be stupid

Teddy: what’s stupid about my suggestion? 

Teddy: you’re a walking fetish, darling

Chloé: That is disgusting, the reality is disgusting

Chloé: he won’t come near me and he did it

Teddy: leave reality packed away in your luggage

Chloé: No, I don’t want anyone to see me naked ever again

Teddy: I didn’t mean it when I as good as called you disgusting, I was just upset

Chloé: It’s true regardless

Teddy: it isn’t, you’re not the parasite, you’re you

Chloé: I’m going to have to leave, change my name and never see anyone again

Teddy: & make it that easy for him to move on? 

Chloé: It won’t be, I have something in place for that

Teddy: which is why I’ll miss you terribly 

Chloé: Yeah right

Teddy: you always refuse to believe a word I say

Chloé: Because I’m not as stupid as you think I am

Teddy: I don’t think that, I’ve been nothing but complimentary

Chloé: Today, to my face

Teddy: it’s difficult for me to admit I like people to their face

Chloé: It really isn’t, you said you loved me earlier

Chloé: if anything, you have the opposite problem

Teddy: to admit it with sincerity then

Chloé: It just makes you the same as your brother and father, isn’t that what you want

Teddy: I’d rather die, frankly

Chloé: How unfortunate

Teddy: yeah, apparently so

Teddy: woe’s me

Chloé: Could be worse, you could be like your mother

Teddy: I fear I am, but as we aren’t family or friends, I shan’t confide in you

Chloé: Aw, do you wanna go to rehab too?

Chloé: Perhaps you can share a room when he ends up back there

Teddy: It would be a better getaway than the one you’ve booked

Chloé: You were meant to be childcare, it wasn’t for you

Teddy: When am I EVER childcare? Don’t be absurd

Chloé: The point is, you’re only here because he said I had to make an effort, even if he’s changed his mind the second we get here

Teddy: how pointless

Chloé: Tell me about it

Teddy: no, you’re taking your bad mood out on me & I’m very offended

Chloé: Go and cry to your mummy, I don’t have to be nice to any of you now

Teddy: Because you’re giving up, but I’m the pathetic one?

Chloé: I can’t make him stay, there’s nothing keeping him with me

Teddy: you’re the mummy, you have all the power

Chloé: He goes, he goes and gets a good lawyer

Chloé: failing that, I’m stuck with the kids and I don’t want them

Teddy: What lawyer is making his rehab stint go away? You haven’t had one, he’s a hopeless junkie on paper

Chloé: It’s all going wrong, it’s not worth the hassle anymore, he isn’t the same

Teddy: well, in that case, blow it up before he can

Teddy: tell everyone behind closed doors he’s off the wagon & you’re frightened of him

Chloé: You keep missing the fairly blatant point that I don’t want these fucking kids

Chloé: How does any of this help me, it doesn’t

Teddy: That’s what your parents are for & mine

Teddy: staff too, which he’s paying for when you rinse the family bank accounts

Chloé: Why do you hate him?

Teddy: I don’t

Chloé: Yeah right

Teddy: I’m helping you because no one else is going to

Chloé: Why?

Teddy: I hate my father & he’ll love this, being rid of you

Chloé: Why do you hate your father?

Teddy: He can’t stop attempting to run my life, it’ll be in ruins, like J & G’s if he has his way

Chloé: Your sister has a great life, James just likes being sad

Teddy: She’s about to marry an OAP, it’s embarrassing 

Chloé: He’s rich, of course she is

Teddy: we’re richer, she could do better

Chloé: Then he has a massive cock, I don’t know

Chloé: She clearly likes him for some reason, she’s skinny, she could get anyone her own age if she wanted

Teddy: the reason is her blatant daddy issues

Chloé: Why do you care?

Teddy: I’m a laughing stock thanks to their bad choices

Chloé: Not your own, no?

Teddy: I don’t make any that terrible, no

Chloé: Debatable but you’re just a child, there’s time to forgive and forget

Teddy: Wash your mouth out with 🍹 I’m not a child

Chloé: Yes you are, you’re barely older than Jay

Teddy: she’s 4 & you’re being cruel

Chloé: Make yours a 🧃

Teddy: yours, for the sake of your hopefully undeformed second brat

Chloé: It would serve him right if I spoiled it but I’m not having my name attached to it

Teddy: your name isn’t, you gave it over to him during the doomed wedding

Chloé: Which your father wanted, actually, so why would he want rid of me now

Teddy: You don’t behave

Chloé: I’m not a child, I don’t have to

Teddy: It’s daddy’s world we all simply occupy space, or don’t soon, when it comes to you

Chloé: He’s weird, you’re all bloody weird

Teddy: unfortunately my mother started a trend of marrying beneath her that I alone am going to be exempt from

Chloé: Yeah, you can tell she’s inbred

Teddy: Aren’t your parents cousins? You’d never tell they weren’t closely related

Chloé: Says you, it’s not normal for a boy of your age to spend so much time with their mother

Teddy: Ha ha

Chloé: Funny weird not funny ha ha but that’s not your fault, entirely

Teddy: I have friends, would you like me to make you some?

Chloé: No, you have no taste and only know other toddlers

Teddy: suit yourself, be lonely

Chloé: I don’t need your help, you don’t even understand 

Teddy: I take back my offer of, you underestimate me

Chloé: Oh, whatever, you’re just an annoyance

Teddy: Fine, I’ll keep the notebook

Chloé: You haven’t got it

Teddy: [photos of it to prove he has]

Chloé: Where is he? He never leaves it

Teddy: you aren’t deserving of the item or that info

Chloé: You can’t keep that from me, it’s my business

Teddy: you should’ve considered this possibility when you were being a bitch

Chloé: It’s not relevant to you, come on, I need to know or I can’t do anything

Teddy: it’s amusing & I have so little else to entertain me

Chloé: What do you want for it?

Teddy: shh, I’m reading

Chloé: Stop it, it’s not funny

Teddy: true, his writing style is very dry

Chloé: Just answer the question, for God’s sake

Teddy: I would, but I doubt you have anything I want, Chlo

Chloé: Ask and I’ll get it

Teddy: I can get things for myself by asking

Chloé: This isn’t a game

Teddy: For me, that’s 100% what it is

Chloé: I’ll tell him you took it then

Teddy: go ahead

Chloé: You’re not sharing, that means there’s nothing in it worth my time, so yeah, I will

Teddy: does it? Or am I a slow reader?

Chloé: You’re full of shit

Teddy: maybe, maybe these pages are full of quality blackmail

Chloé: You’re bluffing

Teddy: Ooh, let’s play poker, fantastic idea

Teddy: but first let me finish

Chloé: No

Teddy: bye-bye for now

Chloé: I’m serious

Teddy: Me too, I’m trying to concentrate

Chloé: What will it take for you to bring that here now

Teddy: as I said, I think you’re out of luck

Chloé: I’ll tell you the secret weapon, if you give that notebook to me

Teddy: How do I have the slightest guarantee you won’t snatch it & tell me something stupid, or nothing at all?

Chloé: You don’t, just like you’ve gone back on your word to get the book for me

Teddy: I swore I’d get it & I did, you started being mean first

Chloé: Because I’m heartbroken

Teddy: not by me, I’ve been super helpful

Chloé: No, not by you

Chloé: you can’t expect me to behave rationally at a time like this

Teddy: I don’t, I expect you to treat me as you’re asking to be treated

Chloé: Okay

Teddy: Okay, did that need to be SO hard?

Chloé: Hurry up

Teddy: be nice

Chloé: Come on

Teddy: nicer

Chloé: ⏱

Teddy: say please

Chloé: I’d rather say nothing

Teddy: that isn’t an option

Chloé: … 

Chloé: See, easy

Teddy: I understand, you’ve changed your mind, you don’t care about the notebook after all

Chloé: Why are you like this?

Teddy: more importantly, why won’t you just say it?

Chloé: I don’t want to

Teddy: I don’t want to bring this to you, I guess I won’t

Chloé: But you do

Teddy: no, sorry

Chloé: It’s meaningless information to you, you can’t blackmail him, I already know and he’s already leaving

Chloé: I just want to hear the things he won’t say to me 

Teddy: So say please & I’ll hand it to you

Chloé: You’re a dick

Teddy: you’re stalling, tick tock

Chloé: Please bring me the notebook now

Teddy: please, Teddy

Chloé: Fuck off

Teddy: gladly

Chloé: [when you’re going to have to snitch to get James to get it back, only to find out it’s in shorthand when you demand to read it from him]

Teddy: [we love to see a flop get thwarted, I just know Teddy has taken pics of every page but he’s too lazy to decode this/get someone to because not that invested]

Chloé: [so fuming now, the whole of this destination gonna know lol]

Teddy: [haha sucks to suck Chlo]

Chloé: [have a screaming match ‘cos you can’t get schwasted, soz James, at least you’re more in the mood for it than normal]

Teddy: [keeping it classy, Teddy there sipping his drink enjoying the show]

Chloé: [me like ma’am, your blood pressure, if this were a movie that baby would be flying out from the drama]

Teddy: [poor baby Mattie, but at least if Chlo makes herself ill and has to go to bed everyone will get a reprieve] 

Chloé: If this baby dies it is entirely your fault

Teddy: I’m honoured

Chloé: You’re a sick little freak and I’ll sue you

Teddy: you don’t want it anyway, I’d be doing you a favour

Chloé: You don’t do anyone any favours

Teddy: we aren’t friends, I have 0 cause to

Chloé: You have 0 brain cells

Teddy: Rich coming from you

Chloé: Maybe but at least I don’t get pleasure from making people feel bad

Teddy: Yes you do, you’ve made it your full time job, for lack of a career or fulfilling your parenting duties, to destroy my brother

Chloé: No I don’t, I need him, I would never destroy him

Teddy: liar, you need him under your thumb

Chloé: I need him to look after me

Teddy: I’m honestly gobsmacked he has a functioning set to cheat on you with, though perhaps he doesn’t, she is famously drawn to pussy as well

Chloé: Someone should smack you, your ignorance is astounding 

Teddy: Again, go ahead

Teddy: vanilla, but I don’t anticipate you’re anything other than

Chloé: You’re the one that’s all talk

Teddy: if you did more of it he might be turned on by you

Chloé: He’s not a sociopath like you, he cares about more

Teddy: He doesn’t care about you in the least anymore 💔

Chloé: I hope something terrible happens to you, immediately 

Teddy: Karma adores me

Chloé: Something has to

Teddy: You should bite literally instead of this, another bedroom tip for you

Chloé: I don’t need tips from you

Teddy: you absolutely do

Chloé: I’ve told you, multiple times, that isn’t why he’s leaving

Teddy: I’m aware, he’s leaving because he’s found himself an upgrade in more ways than the one

Teddy: the tips are for securing hubby number 2

Chloé: Not for long

Teddy: it’s a fact, darling, face it

Chloé: When everything goes to shit, remember, it’s not even slightly for your benefit

Teddy: I’ll enjoy it nevertheless, thanks in advance

Chloé: Goodbye

Teddy: Bye, Chlo x

Teddy: [sending Ava a random page from this notebook not expecting her to actually recognise it, just to be a playful chaos demon]

Teddy: Does this mean anything to you?

Ava: What is that?

Teddy: I assumed as a future journalism student you’d recognise Shorthand, but maybe it’s a dying or dead ‘art’

Ava: It might be code, what on earth are you up to, I thought you were on a family holiday?

Teddy: Oh I am

Ava: What kind of games night…

Teddy: J is cheating on his wife, again

Teddy: predictable fireworks have ensued

Ava: Oh, that kind

Ava: Next flight home, is it?

Teddy: Hardly, she’s staying to the bitter end, her home having been fully wrecked

Ava: but what are you lot doing? 😬

Teddy: I told you, I’m enjoying the show

Ava: Teddy

Teddy: Ava?

Ava: If this is really the end, you can’t say that, have some decorum 

Teddy: Why, her public screaming is displaying 0

Ava: Because it’s serious, if not sad or whatever, it’s still shitty

Teddy: seriously entertaining

Ava: You’re awful

Ava: what do your parents think?

Teddy: They’re a tad busy with their own preoccupations, as usual

Ava: Some things never change, comforting, I guess?

Teddy: anyway, I’ll leave you to yours

Ava: And what would that be

Teddy: I haven’t the slightest idea, revision probably

Ava: Right, you’re so astute, good luck with your codebreaking

Teddy: Bold of you to assume I’ll bother now it’s broken them up

Ava: That’ll hardly be the reason

Teddy: the final straw

Ava: I take it the kid hasn’t been left with you to be ‘entertained’ by it all, right?

Teddy: I don’t know where she is, with her other grandparents perhaps

Ava: Makes sense, trauma swerved 

Teddy: I’d want to distance myself from my grown up daughter behaving like a toddler

Ava: I’m familiar with the antics, my family has it’s own

Teddy: How IS your sister? Do send her my love

Ava: Naturally, I’m sure she’ll remember who you are with some prompting

Teddy: I haven’t seen her since [some event that wasn’t long ago at all to be sarcastic and also extra cos we love Nancy], positively ages ago

Ava: Who can say how many boyfriends and hairstyles she’s cycled through since then, eh

Teddy: me too, naturally

Ava: 😏

Teddy: Holiday fling temporarily on hold though it may be

Ava: How could you possibly concentrate

Teddy: exactly & miss a moment, for who?

Ava: You’ll find that someone one day

Teddy: as long as I don’t write the world’s driest coded messages about them

Ava: You’re just mad you couldn’t snoop properly

Teddy: I had my fun when she was begging me to let her read it & the end result is the same coded or not

Ava: I would have killed you

Teddy: & how fun that would have been, but you never want to play along

Ava: I doubt it’s a game to your SiL

Teddy: He’s leaving her, she isn’t going to be any relation soon

Ava: You can do better, babe

Teddy: J can, somehow

Teddy: not that it’s difficult, but I really had thought him completely crushed, we all did

Ava: You’re glad for him?

Teddy: we needn’t go that far, but at least he’s out from under her [a designer boot or heel but in a shady way because Chlo has no taste]

Ava: Heaven forbid you get that close to sincerity

Teddy: I sincerely can’t blame him for not wishing to fuck her, it would certainly take a stronger stomach than J has 

Ava: You famously fancy everyone, come on

Teddy: I do not

Ava: 😉

Teddy: letting yourself go to that extent at 21 is ludicrous 

Ava: You���ll be looking for a childless fling then

Teddy: Always

Ava: A good rule

Teddy: knowing they’re already that fertile before I’ve been near them puts me on edge, I’d have to be careful & who wants that?

Ava: Who wants a Teddy Jnr?

Teddy: disgusting

Ava: That’s your birthday present sorted

Teddy: Now you want to seduce me, typical

Ava: Of course

Ava: I’ll get you the good kind

Teddy: I’m sure, thanks in advance

Ava: Make up your own code, make a list, could be fun

Teddy: I’m not lacking in it right now but I’ll bear the suggestion in mind

Ava: You’re such a voyeur, leave them alone

Teddy: No, don’t be such a bore

Ava: I’m embarrassed on your behalf right now

Teddy: don’t be, darling, you’ll be very lonely feeling like that

Ava: I’m not lonely

Teddy: & I’m yet to be embarrassed

Ava: Mhmm, you’re a medical miracle, or whatever

Teddy: You sound like my mother

Ava: 😂

Ava: Prince Teddy

Teddy: 🤴🏼

Ava: If the crown fits

Teddy: which it does

Ava: I’m surprised you would risk your hair, honestly

Teddy: Ha ha

Ava: I’m so serious, it looks like it must take you ages

Teddy: As if I would have the patience, please

Ava: Don’t worry, if anyone asks, it’s all effortless, naturally

Teddy: No one is going around asking questions they know the answer to

Ava: I think you overestimate some of our classmates

Teddy: okay, true

Ava: I heard [someone we are slightly shading here, soz] asking if the answer to question 2 on [an exam they’ve already done] was [something so horrifically wrong you’re like oh honey no]

Teddy: I can’t wait to see them for re-sits and bring that up

Ava: You could try 🤏

Teddy: Why?

Ava: We won’t have any classes together in September if you don’t get it sorted

Ava: We could revise but you’re there and I know your books are still at home

Teddy: The only revision I do would require you to seduce me & I’m under no illusion you seriously intend to

Ava: Sadly not

Teddy: So have no fun in September without me, while I have plenty

Ava: Rude

Teddy: It’s no one’s fault but your own

Ava: We’re meant to be friends

Teddy: Are we? Oh, that’s awkward

Ava: Yeah, yeah, asshole

Teddy: Always a pleasure, Ava

Ava: Do some revision, I beg

Teddy: Actually beg & I’ll of course consider it

Ava: You don’t reckon you can find someone there to seduce who’s actually smart enough to be of any use?

Teddy: don’t belittle yourself, you’re smart enough

Ava: I know I am

Teddy: that’s better

Ava: And you’re too smart to fail

Teddy: I know I am, but it isn’t about that

Ava: Isn’t it?

Teddy: passing grades aren’t going to upset anyone

Ava: You want to make it as hard as possible for your dad to get you back in for sixth form

Teddy: my motivation in life is to make things as hard as possible for him, it’s an easy spanner to throw in the works

Ava: Gotcha

Teddy: buy another puppy, or get a new closeted girlfriend to be your latest crusade, my exam results aren’t it

Ava: Do you not plan to unattach yourself from the pursestrings one day?

Teddy: Where’s the fun in that?

Ava: I guess so, can’t lose your reason to live

Teddy: I’d have to find a different one, imagine

Ava: Crazy

Teddy: absolutely

Ava: Revision calls

Teddy: 👋

Teddy: Ask me how the holiday’s going

Gia: I made my excuses for a reason…

Teddy: no, ask me

Gia: I don’t need to, get on with it

Teddy: play along

Gia: I am far too busy to babysit you

Teddy: I guarantee you aren’t too busy to listen to me

Gia: Teddy, hurry up, this is tedious

Teddy: G, it’s fantastic

Gia: Oh, he’s done it then, has he

Teddy: You knew?

Gia: James and I talk, like adults

Teddy: You do not, since when?

Gia: Since always

Gia: Well, is daddy pleased?

Teddy: He’s slightly preoccupied pawing girls your age at the bar, but when he comes up for air I’ll ask his thoughts

Gia: Characteristically bad timing as per but at least there will be no baby shower to power through

Teddy: You’re giving J, or your adult chats, a lot of credit

Teddy: I’ve sat through similar screaming before, we all have

Gia: He’s never brought it to our attention before, he obviously means it

Teddy: What did he say to you?

Gia: We were talking about Seb’s ex and lawyers and he said he may be in need of a good one

Teddy: He is, Chlo may be bluffing but she seems to believe she has some secret weapon

Gia: If brains were dynamite, she couldn’t blow her nose

Gia: Still, perhaps she’s a log of his indiscretions

Teddy: Or hers cast some doubt

Gia: Potentially

Gia: I’ll put James in contact with [the lawyer] for real

Teddy: Jay has to be his, but the unborn brat may not be, I highly doubt they’ve been near each other that often since the former

Gia: Well, who can bear to be in her company, it’s understandable

Teddy: He’s been hilariously indiscrete again

Gia: I imagine he wants to get caught

Teddy: She never leaves the house, fucking under her nose couldn’t be made any easier

Gia: Thank you, the rest of us have some pride

Teddy: It’s fear that prompts him, you & I both know that

Gia: I just mean that yours is the sort of plan only a 15-year-old would think even vaguely reasonable

Teddy: If he’d like to get caught he may as well put on a show

Gia: Stop being vulgar or I won’t continue this conversation

Teddy: You said it, Gia

Gia: No, I didn’t

Gia: She won’t get anything, none of it really belongs to them, it’s still all daddy’s, on paper, he made sure of that

Teddy: Please stop calling him daddy that’s much more vulgar & I can’t bear it

Gia: He’s my father I can call him that if I like, there’s nothing wrong with it, you’ve got a sick mind

Teddy: When you get married you’ll have to spare yourself the confusion

Gia: There is no confusion, I’m well-adjusted unlike you

Teddy: Your unfortunate future hubby is how many years away from dementia? He won’t have the first clue who you’re addressing on Sundays

Gia: You are so childish

Teddy: I am a child, allegedly 

Gia: A very tiresome one, yes

Gia: whose brain is entirely more addled than Seb’s

Teddy: Hopefully our father’s if he receives another knockback from some girl just trying to sit unmolested with a cocktail

Gia: You’re truly such a fantasist

Teddy: he’s truly a deviant, it’s quite inspiring 

Gia: No, he’s not

Gia: and you shouldn’t talk about him like that

Teddy: You shouldn’t be so quick to his defensive all the time, if he leaves mother & has more sons you’ll be even more unloved & unappreciated

Gia: He’s not going to leave her, they are not James and Chloé

Teddy: Only because mother is too heavily sedated to scream

Gia: By her own choosing

Teddy: you should say yes, they’re fantastic pills

Gia: Nothing about her lifestyle appeals 

Teddy: Her inherited money appeals

Gia: Daddy has made it tenfold, by actually working

Teddy: He’s traded on her name to have any business contacts in the first place

Gia: You haven’t even passed your GCSEs yet, please don’t try to talk business

Teddy: You’re a girl, I could say the same to you, I’m sure the boardroom is full of men who try to

Gia: It isn’t, actually

Gia: Not all men are pigs like you choose to be

Teddy: it’s clear who I take after in those beliefs

Gia: That certainly fits the narrative you tell yourself

Teddy: good luck trying to erase the narrative whereby daddy dearest was thrilled to hear about your XX chromosomes 

Gia: Is there a point to this?

Teddy: I was here to share good news, which you’re being a bore about

Gia: I already knew, James can confide in me

Teddy: Nobody can confide in you, don’t flatter yourself

Gia: Except he did

Gia: and I guarantee daddy likes me more than you now, so, keep trying with these lacklustre attempts, or don’t

Teddy: He asked for a lawyer’s phone number, he was hardly crying on your shoulder

Teddy: you’re his personal Google, that’s all

Gia: Why would I want him to cry on my shoulder?

Gia: You and mother are the ones who like to indulge in that sort of behaviour

Teddy: Because we’re not father’s little worker robot

Gia: She’s a gin-soaked cliche, I’d look for better role models

Teddy: Would you care to take on the role, as you have J’s confidante, despite him barely saying 2 words to you?

Gia: I wouldn’t

Teddy: I thought not

Gia: I have to deal with enough children

Teddy: If you’d date someone your own age it wouldn’t be a problem

Gia: I’m not looking for a life free of problems, this is the real world, you deal with the ones you’re faced with

Teddy: Which women's magazine gave you that hack advice?

Gia: Hilarious

Gia: I’m in love with Seb and I am going to marry him, you’ll have to get over it

Teddy: You’ll marry him, naturally, the rest is nonsense

Gia: No it’s not

Teddy: it is, you don’t love him

Gia: Yes I do, there’s no other reason to be with him

Teddy: Save your breath for needing to resuscitate him

Gia: Are you done?

Teddy: not while I still have some of my own, no

Gia: Why are we talking? This conversation has been fruitless

Teddy: Because you refused your invitation & aren’t here

Gia: I wonder why…

Teddy: Why didn’t you tell me, more importantly?

Gia: Because I don’t tell everyone’s business

Gia: that’s a nasty habit

Teddy: he’s our brother not a neighbour

Gia: He didn’t want anyone knowing until he was ready, which is entirely valid

Teddy: Oops, sorry

Gia: Clearly, his hand was forced

Teddy: by me

Gia: It would likely be her if not

Teddy: or his affair if it’s serious

Gia: It doesn’t matter, the girl has always been bad news, we’re all better off with her far, far away

Teddy: RIP, it was fun while it lasted

Gia: Not the word I would use

Teddy: You & J both love to use words I wouldn’t, it’s only fair

Gia: I dread to think how you’ll fare in your English exams

Teddy: dread is going to be the correct response

Gia: You should be studying

Teddy: no thanks

Gia: It’s entirely irresponsible for you to even be on that trip, why are you there

Teddy: For the fireworks

Gia: Go home, for goodness sake

Teddy: Perhaps, when I get the urge to throw a party

Gia: I can’t be bothered with this nonsense

Teddy: come on, G, you used to have a good time, long long ago

Gia: I have a good time, I’m just not a waste of space

Teddy: you are to me, so that’s subjective

Gia: Your opinion is irrelevant

Teddy: & yours is borrowed, you’re only lacking blue for the wedding, well done

Gia: There are many measures of success, unlike you, my own opinion of myself isn’t the one I focus on

Teddy: Yet you all try & force me down the same tired path

Gia: Please, what is your great idea

Teddy: it would be irrelevant, none of us care remotely for James’ scribblings unless they betray his latest girlfriend

Gia: It’s irrelevant because you don’t have one

Gia: If you had an idea that rivalled the salary, then you could follow that dream, otherwise daddy is just doing you a favour

Teddy: He’s a control freak

Gia: He can hand us all opportunities that we wouldn’t get by ourselves

Gia: You couldn’t handle not having money, trust me, so you do as you’re told and you get looked after

Teddy: I can’t concentrate in that office, how am I supposed to grin & bear it for the next 50 years?

Gia: You’ll learn

Teddy: What if I’m not smart enough?

Gia: You don’t try, Teddy, you could be if you tried

Teddy: or I could humiliate myself

Gia: This whole schtick isn’t not humiliating 

Gia: He isn’t evil, there are different roles, levels

Teddy: He thinks I’m useless

Gia: He knows you’re not reaching your full potential, that’s all

Teddy: being the boss’ son doesn’t lend itself to [the lowest level of this company idk, but he genuinely does think that’s all he’s capable of doing at this point]

Gia: No one has to know, you’re focusing on other pursuits as well as, can’t take a more active role, there’s plenty of ways to talk around it

Teddy: No, this makes me feel stupid, I hate it

Gia: You have years, you haven’t finished your GCSEs yet, there’s at least 5 years for you to learn the things you need to

Teddy: you were already working there by then

Gia: Only as an intern, really

Teddy: & James would have if he wasn’t high constantly

Gia: but he was, so

Teddy: I’m a baby as far as our father is concerned, he’d sooner have Jay working at the company

Gia: You just need to prove yourself, it's an opportunity

Teddy: You don’t understand what it’s like

Gia: Obviously I do

Teddy: you can’t do any wrong in his eyes, it’s disgusting

Gia: I just try really hard

Teddy: & it makes you unhappy

Gia: No it doesn’t, it makes me very happy

Teddy: Please, you’re so unfulfilled & you couldn’t resent James more if you tried

Gia: Nothing makes me happier than working for our family company

Gia: I could work somewhere else, if I wanted, I have the skills

Teddy: oh Gia

Gia: Don’t condescend to me

Teddy: this is becoming depressing

Gia: I tried to help you when you were crying

Gia: don’t talk to me about depressing

Teddy: You aren’t helpful to anyone except our father & his propaganda

Gia: And he’s probably right about you, for the record

Teddy: no he isn’t

Gia: Yeah, he is

Teddy: shut up

Gia: Don’t worry, your tiny brain will find all the grunt work really rewarding

Teddy: As rewarding as you find his crumbs of praise, yeah

Gia: I get all the satisfaction I need in doing my job well

Teddy: you 2 are incestuous, it isn’t normal how many of your pleasure centres he activates, in your brain or otherwise

Gia: You have to make it a joke 

Teddy: I’m not kidding, go to therapy

Gia: You’re the weirdo for even saying it

Teddy: no, it’s still you, you’re the subject of what I’m saying & I haven’t plucked it from thin air

Gia: You’re making it up to try and make me feel as bad as you

Teddy: Did he touch you or do you simply wish he would? We need to get to the bottom of this

Gia: I don’t want to hear about the things you think about

Teddy: let me stage this intervention, I’d like to help you

Gia: Whatever gay degeneracy this is, you can keep it to yourself

Teddy: I’ve been waiting for you to drop your hard g, as it’s obviously the only ‘weapon’ you feel you have

Gia: No one minds, no one’s disappointed, honestly

Teddy: I’m not gay, put your sequins away, truly

Gia: Right

Teddy: & effeminate is solely an insult to our parents generation, by the way, in case you were planning to go there next

Gia: If you say so, I told you, everyone accepts who you are

Teddy: Sadly, you’re stuck with the last real taboo, no parade for wanting your daddy to be your daddy

Gia: Normal people don’t need parades to feel good about themselves

Teddy: I don’t need a label for you to mock me with

Gia: It’s quite clear without one

Teddy: good, I’d hate to have to spell it out the way our father does when he’s eager to be balls deep in anyone but our mother

Gia: You’re so immature

Teddy: I’m yet to be 16, I’m unlikely to act your preferred age

Gia: There’s nothing preferential about you at all

Teddy: There’s nothing about you full stop, you’re empty

Gia: You don’t interest me, I don’t share anything with you

Teddy: There isn’t anything to share, all you do is work

Gia: That’s all you need to know

Teddy: besides keeping an old man alive until you’re firmly in the will, that’s all there is

Gia: If you like, you’ll never know the truth so live with your lies

Teddy: You’ve buried your truth so deep even you don’t know it, dear sister

Gia: You wouldn’t know it if it bit you on the nose

Gia: everyone knows how untrustworthy a liar you are

Teddy: it unsettles you that I live mine & see yours

Gia: Mhmm, that must be it

Teddy: Yes, I’m sorry for you though

Gia: If there is any figure of pity, it’s you and I wouldn’t even be that generous

Teddy: I’m conveniently right where you want me in order to point the finger at too, how neat & tidy that keeps everything

Gia: Your lacking is your own problem, and nothing but for everyone else

Teddy: Your opinion on what I lack is simply that, your point of view

Gia: We’ll soon have that backed up by your results, won’t we

Teddy: I’m afraid they aren’t for your benefit either

Gia: As you said, the disappointment isn’t going to come as any sort of surprise to our father, not from you

Teddy: The botox renders him incapable of such displays regardless

Gia: Then you’ll be fine

Teddy: My plan to derail his for me is well underway

Gia: As long as you don’t expect anyone to visit you in the gutter

Teddy: You’re too tedious of a guest, please don’t

Teddy: if anyone could ruin the ambience of rock bottom

Gia: I have no need of you in my life, if you don’t work for [the company] then we don’t need to see each other

Teddy: I’m dead to you if I don’t worship at the altar of our family business, it’s been noted

Gia: We have nothing to discuss, all this is unnecessary 

Teddy: You’re unnecessary

Gia: Says the spare

Teddy: I’m not the one devastated with my place

Gia: Just your inability

Teddy: I could do something about that, learn & try as you said

Teddy: you’ll never be a real boy, Gia, he’ll never love you the most

Gia: Could you

Teddy: Of course I could, James has an office & his brain is drug-addled 

Gia: Mhm

Teddy: I have years, your words of consolation, you have no way of ever proving yourself

Gia: And time will tell

Teddy: I could sleepwalk into James’ role were I inclined

Gia: Yes, you claim to be able to do lots of things you have never and will never do

Teddy: Because I have no interest in doing them

Gia: Right, super believable 

Teddy: believe what you want, you’re obviously delusional in terms of your own life

Gia: Sure

Teddy: You’ll find out what I’m capable of

Gia: Boring me to tears seems to be the extent

Teddy: You can’t cry, who are you trying to fool?

Gia: I don’t pride myself on it

Teddy: well no, psychological damage isn’t a source of

Gia: Tell yourself

Teddy: sorry mine’s better than yours

Gia: Yours is imagined and contrived, like every facet of your personality at this point

Teddy: But I have a personality, unlike you

Gia: Effeminate fantasist counts, sure

Teddy: Excuse me while I change my bio across the board

Gia: Goodbye

Teddy: [me loling cos he is going to change his insta info and everything, oh Teddy]

Gia: [my boo says oh you card]

Teddy: [makes me laugh that they always dramatically beef as well, regardless of the starting point]

Gia: [the way she hates y’all lmao]

Teddy: [I don’t blame her remotely, but we should probably post this and do java when we wake up]

[fiyerotigelar]

I just can’t get over how we finally get a teen rom com type show that includes a girl having a crush on another girl, and there’s people who are calling it forced and unnecessary. As if being a bisexual teenager isn’t confusing and often times out of nowhere!! Get with the program. Xo Kitty actually went there and didn’t back out! They said our main character has a crush on a girl and it’s not for a split second. It’s happening! It’s real! It wasn’t a plot device for the sake of it. And she still has boy love interests too.

This is the bisexual experience. If you don’t like it then maybe look within yourself and ask why a girl crushing on a girl bothers you so much. Especially when she’s also still very much interested in boys. Idk why fandoms and tv viewers can’t actually grasp the concept of a bisexual. So many people use it as a stepping stone of wanting their character to be gay, but needing an excuse as to why they used to date a gender different to their own.

Newsflash. A girl can like a girl and like boys too. Contrary to popular belief bisexuality isn’t a step you take on your journey to being gay. It is its own sexuality and includes liking more than one gender. Kitty likes boys and girls your f/m ship isn’t obsolete just because she currently has a crush on a girl? It’s not a threat. You’re still allowed to ship her with the cute boy you want her with.

[aspd-culture]

What ASPD stereotypes do you think are the most ridiculous and untrue?

Ooooo, a fun one. In no particular order -

• That every pwASPD hates animals or is violent towards them. This is a super vicious stereotype that has made it's way all the way into the DSM. We are not super likely to hurt animals, at least no more than any other traumatized child. It does happen, yes, but many of us actually feel closest with animals because our lack of empathy and remorse and all that doesn't mean much to them. Depending on the animal, they either love you unconditionally anyway, or they tolerate you on the basis that you keep providing snacks. Plus, they don't require us to understand or care about social code. They also affect a different part of your brain than other humans your own age (more similar to how one bonds with a young child - instinct to protect and care for), so we are more likely to be capable of experiencing close bonds with them. Whilst not everyone with ASPD likes or gets along with animals, we also do not all attack them.

• That lacking remorse is what predisposes us to violence. These are entirely separate symptoms that have next to nothing to do with each other if you put them in that order. Sure, I don't feel remorse besides with Exceptions, but that's not what causes my violent urges. The people who say this are thinking from the perspective of making decisions in fear of feeling bad for things, which if you never experienced remorse in the first place, does not affect you. The people who say that without remorse we must go around violently hurting and k*lling people around us ("because what's stopping you??") are really just telling on themselves & admitting on main that they would st*b their loved ones given the chance. Super weird of them.

• (A classic) That they can pick us out in a crowd/we have a specific look in our eyes. Peak comedy is the many people who say "Don't worry, I'll let you know if you're dealing with a sociopath. They're easy to find if you know what you're looking for" directly to a pwASPD who hasn't told them. Literally my favorite thing ever that prosocials say.

• That a "true sociopath/psychopath" will never tell you they are one/that someone who is good at manipulation would never tell you they're manipulative. Well that's a funky lil trick you got there - you just gave me an easy in to abuse the crap out of you. Good thing I don't want to, but really? You don't see the flaw in saying that out loud to someone? It's also just false. Pretty funny again tho, except I hate the urge to manipulate or abuse people who say this just because I obviously easily could, so I try and steer clear or call them out for how fucking stupid that is.

Many, many more are untrue but these are the more lighthearted, ridiculous ones.

[anamericangirl]

Holy shit dude. While I'm glad this post bothered you so much that you couldn't let it go for over three months and came right for it when you remade, you're not doing yourself any favors by showing up to prove yet again that you're just an anti-semitic asshole that simps for terrorists because you have such a hate boner for Israel.

I'm literally laughing at you right now for thinking what you've done is compile "evidence" and are now "dropping it" on us because this is the sorriest attempt at a save face I've ever seen. One of the most pathetic Tumblr essays ever written.

"I said when this all started that “when the war crimes really get going, people like this will do actual backbends and somersaults to justify it”, something to that tune."

To quote you here: Irony you can taste, and it only gets worse! You have no self awareness dude. Hamas commits war crimes on the daily and has been for years and you're such a pathetic little kiss ass for them. You fucking did backbends and somersaults to justify them in the post I shared from you above. Hamas is lucky to have an idiot like you to depend on to make pathetic attempts to justify their unjustifiable violence and countless war crimes. You didn't condemn them at all and still haven't. And no, mentioning in passing that "rape and murder is bad" as you go off on Israel and how much you hate them and how much they deserved what happened doesn't count. That's just another pathetic little save face from you that anyone with a brain can see through.

No fucking way am I reading your entire shitload of nonsense, especially since right away you are just blatantly wrong and trying to make people think you didn't say something we can all very clearly see that you said.

"but nothing I said is untrue and it certainly doesn’t constitute as supporting or justifying rape and murder to say “Action A produced result B, which produced consequence C”. Nothing I said supports rape and murder at all - it’s actually my main point, that these things are bad regardless of who does them;"

Everything you said in untrue and unfortunately for you I'm not dumb enough to believe you when you say "all I said was A produced B and that led to consequences! My whole point was rape and murder and bad" because I can actually read and that's not even close to what you said.

Your whole idiotic rant in the first place was how Israel is bad because Palestinians civilians are being killed in this war. Your whole rant was Israel is bad for killing Palestinians. Your only mention of what Hamas did to the Israelis civilians was "but God forbid some Israelites find out the hard way they're not god's chosen people, god forbid there's consequences to the actions of the Israeli state and our funding of them."

And you said that shit right after you condemned the ideas that civilians deaths of Palestinians are collateral damage and casualties of war. So yeah can't say that about Palestinians but when Israeli citizens are targeted and raped and murdered that's just them "finding out the hard way they aren't god chosen people."

And you are also one of the stupidest people I've ever had the misfortune of interacting with. Anyone who actually thinks Israel is committing genocide is an idiot. If Israel wanted to commit genocide Palestine would have been gone on October 8th.

And this is another reason you're full of shit. You're all mad because you bought into propaganda that Israel is genociding Palestinians but you're too stupid to understand that the entire goal of Hamas and Palestine is wipe Israel off the face of the planet. It's not a secret. They've been trying to commit a genocide of the Israelis for years but you don't care about that because you're a disgusting anti-semite and those Jews deserve it, right? If genocide is what it takes for them to "find out the hard way they are god's chosen people" then so be it? They deserve whatever Hamas does. But don't they dare try to defend themselves and if any Palestinians die in this war that's just blood on Israel's hands and evidence of genocide. Who cares if they get raped and murdered? Defending themselves or doing anything in retaliation isn't acceptable.

But just so everyone knows you think rape and murder is bad regardless of who does it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, that doesn't cancel out your bullshit. It's still really obvious what you really think.

If you actually cared about the death of Palestinians you'd be mad at Hamas for using them as human shields, which they admit to doing. Hamas is directly responsible for most of the Palestinian deaths but you're too far up their ass to care.

As for your little claim that Israel "knew" about the attack, I'm so glad you have an article from the New York Times to back that up. You a simp for the mainstream media too?

By the way, is this you?

I guess the MSM is only credible when they feed your anti-semitic hate boner.

But also even if they knew something was going to happen that doesn't mean they could stop it you dumbass.

As I said earlier I'm not reading the rest of your drivel because I don't give a fuck what you think about Israel. Hate them for all I care. The problem is for some reason you can't actually condemn Hamas for their actions that you claim you think are bad.

You can't condemn them for their rape and murder of innocent Israelis civilians in the largest mass killing of Jews since the holocaust.

You condemn Israel for what you're stupid enough to think is a genocide but you can't condemn Palestine for their desire and attempt to commit a Jewish genocide.

You pretend you care about alleged Israeli war crimes but you can't condemn the endless war crimes committed by Hamas.

Saying "I don't like Hamas and rape and murder is bad" is not a condemnation when you spew so much hate at Israel for doing things not even half as bad as what Hamas has done and say shit like "god forbid some Israelis find out the hard way they're not god's chosen people." If Palestinians die that's genocide but if Israeli's get raped and murdered that's just the consequences of their own actions.

You are a disgusting person. Like most Hamas simps. But you're worse than most because you actually think you're morally superior for falling for propaganda and hating Jews to the point where you foam at the mouth at the thought of them daring to defend themselves and not getting wiped off the face of the earth. Hamas is lucky to have an idiot like you to spread their lies and justify their war crimes and terrorists attacks that you *totally* don't support.

I will be blocking you again (even if you cry about it like you did last time as if you hadn't blocked me first) and I sincerely hope you lose another three months of sleep over it.

Anarchists got their panties in a twist the other day, including this dude, because I said they were justifying Hamas in their treatment of Israeli civilians because “government bad” and then they go and unironically say shit like this. And all the same anarchists who cried “we’re not saying that! 😭😭” are supporting this dumbass take.

Oh the Israel government is so bad for “attacking” Palestine so they deserve to be attacked by Hamas. Israel is trying to take out Palestine but Palestine is apparently not trying to do anything to big bad Israel.

“The Palestinians are facing extermination!!! But not Israel!! Palestine is innocent!! God forbid some Israelites find out the hard way they’re not God’s chosen people”

This degenerate is practically supporting the rape and murder of innocent people. That’s how “some Israelites” are “finding out the hard way.”

And he has the audacity to call conservatives morally bankrupt when he’s literally here justifying a terrorist attack.

I think if anarchy makes you support terrorist organizations in their endeavors you’re objectively the morally bankrupt one here.

[maneaterwithtail]

Why Belos role and characterization and treatment in narrative or character parallel bothers me

I cannot help but feel it confuses a therapeutic uhm... end goal

"Your abuser despite his (and it is ALWAYS a he) affect, power, influence, or even your feelings to him, is wrong about you and told you lies that control and undermine you. Leave them behind. Don't engage. Separate yourself and reasoning from them. You will be free and see them as powerless a shadow and not even need the same thing from anyone else. Because you have a more substantive and whole thing from yourself"

with 

"Abuser is inhuman blind liar and nothing like you so have no fear. Its all a conspiracy and you'll never be like him no matter what you do!"

This is a common thing. Over and over and over. What grants the greatest... win or catharsis or validation for the audience's hero/standin.  Moreso if queer representative.

Now, I do like the talk Luz has about this. And its meaningful, without prompting, she comes to this bad emotional place by her own reasoning and feelings. SHOWING how much she's grown and avoided being a Belos.

Its the "you were never alike along" that really bugs me. Not you changed and avoided that path thanks to acceptance of and by others so have become better. But He was conspiring and lying because that all he is which you never were doing (which is remarkably...untrue in my mind. Or says forgiveness is only for the innoecent uwu baby which no matter what the polycule aspirants are)

Moreover whenever its time to imply or make decisions its to absolve the likable or standins (or useful) or scapegoat Belos like some "The Devil Made Me Do It" figure which creeps me out.  I thought the entire point was to AVOID that

Its not that

there are guys so hateful so ambitious so DANGEROUS you had to use violence and people who willfully double down do these things. It sucks but.. this how it goes.  here what like and how we get from there to here and how deal with even the psychological aftereffects

Its that

said stubborn blindness in everyone is all sourced by this one conveniently hatable guy.. who also is just smart enough to cause and control all but you're just so smart and special and vigorous enough can't compel you, never did. Or he is stupid enough basic teenage stubbornness foils him time and again with little cost or effort but to the fee fees.. maybe  true defeat when don't feel bad anymore

Again it, to me, has always felt like at ODDS with where Owl House started.  A mature take on dealing with differences and expression and learning to get along and yes tolerate not just differences but 'enemies'

Not least because they don't ever have to

Hey? Girl who has career investment and resents you and etc etc etc secretly just repressed lesbian for you.

Hey? Guy who is true believer in cause and dismissive of everyone interrupting to it? Just woobie tormented by evil abuser. Not his fault and never going to hurt you because he's so nice and tortured. But also his beliefs have no validity or positivity and were never necessary.

Hey? Guy who avoids emotional conflicts and the difficult human investments, neglecting his relationships to focus on his hobbies and then turns people into components...for his self image is TOTALLY different than a stage mom because.. uhm... well she's socially ambitious and DIRECT as toneglectful exploitive in their abusive action.

Hey? Your teasing super popular bully is secretly just like you once they accept that they will have to get along (serve to) your goals while adding to your found family (staff and servants to ease your struggles with difference, labor, money, resources, or knowledge. Conveniently.. well save for occasional emotional maintenance whew no things and effort and time and work you value thought)

ETA Hey the family who blames you for your failure, resents your marginalization, and arrogantly wishes to fix you? Always outshine by you in clash knows less than you. And after come Crawling back to you benevolent forgiveness confess they cursed you! Once convert and undermine their worldview or prioritize you as to have serious issues with your criminal, self harm, and possible addiction behavior, then perhaps you can forgive them if will continue the obsequious or usefulness. (damn maheshwarens look at the clawthornes going there for the grace of God would go i)

Hey? Those horrible parallels you notice between yourself and people you hate is just an illusion put on by an evil white guy who embodies what you hate about society and authority or that asshole from that institution you have to put up with for your education. You're not at fault because you made a mistake and you feel bad about it and with perfect knowledge and power you'd never be like them so striving for same you won't do the same things.

And AGAIN i get where this comes from and why and even in some cases its necessary but tell me there isn't something just a little TOO damn close to

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig)

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

At the least we're at lines 6-4 for the lesson/character assessment/embodiment so with the NARRATIVE supplying lines 1-3.  Information always happens to clarify a situation so the initial hook gets put down.

​Moreso with the idea of the supervillain narcissist who all your own problems and bad actions can be attributed or sourced. (I avoid the Invisible man movie for a line implying this. sure sure I'm certain 'in context' its justified. that's the thing lines 1-3 is ALWAYS made 'in context with what feels a powerful idealized stand in' where things bend just enough for the character. Not really the dread female or minority character accusation word but close enough or evokes my same issues (have same or similar problems with Shinji, the world is or reflects or exists to further his depression so feels.. unreal)

Made worse because of the ... meeting in the middle  of the lines or the completion the problem isn't "narcissism" -which can be inborn in exceptions who are people or exceptional people- but also develop in you and me. No the problem is the "narcississt" this shibboleth (forgive my cultural appropriation and feel free to correct with better less sacred or more accurate term) Archetype Modern Folklore Myth ("but its real I used The Sciencetm not Re-lulz-gen") I Learned From Validating Empowering Source. The Narcissist is always a collection of traits in a person who is other and despicable who has made the real mistake of being both ambitious, respected, and un-ignorable/supportive down to the core. enviable AND stronger.

  Oh and Belos is always lying, to himself and others .. but doesn't believe or operate in a way to best support the lie. Say, recruiting a mob or authority or gang to go into the demon realm to enact a plan?

Why did he try that stupid lie? He's a MUCH better liar than that!

Heck he hasn't really had a hatred of Luz so much as witches and the demon realm mixed with an immature hero narrative that foregoes compassion or self reflection.

But even if it was ALL a lie. If he was at the desperate point he was willing to humble himself to the witches and Luz just to save his skin why be THAT preposterous?  

Because the only threat he's EVER allowed to make is emotional to trigger Luz/audience trauma in a way that them having been marginalized in a way very VERY likely shared but specific enough to neuroatypical queer younger people or folks who have been near such can very much relate to. 

Its like the bad guys in Dragon Prince becoming demonic untalking firezombies in contradiction to preaching following a religious appearing figure.

Too damn indulgent.

Have Raine, King Clawthorne, and Eda beat down Phillip or older Belos. not the Wicked Fals Wizard of the South East from The Bad Times of SUPER PATRIARCHY (and why its bad this season's finest ideological threads)

Have Luz hug her mom after resolute seeing his death, no "save"of her innoencence or responsibility. However vulgar, necessary, or more she killed a dude.

Just... stop it with The Devil Belos who is the Real True Evil because *insert things hate here* who if killed all his influence dissipates as to perpetuates because he's The Source Of All The Flaws, Even Yours Or They Were Mistakes After All He Doesn't Fit In The Found Family/Polycule Dynamics.

I guess end of the day I just disagree with

Dad Titan.

I mean in one way. The assume part. Hate can come from a genuine place. OR false place. Or an insecure place.  Or a narcissistic place.  I suppose not disagree with his point or even actions.

 Its GOOD he makes the distinction he does between Luz and Belos.  But Luz wanted guidance and she got validation, particularly the kind that without context doesn't guide to good.

Its why feel so adolescent.  Which is FINE as that the primary target of the show. But blows the conflict out of proportion with that target's ACTUAL challenges and needs and keeps the adult responsibility and restraint down to convenience if this is about her coming into her own as an adult woman or taking that adult step.

Compare Camilla's journey to Luz and its... off

Moreso for me the sense sending Luz to camp was 'forced on her' and was 'a bad thing' Lucedas should feel guilty for as to a critical step to better Luz and did end up for the best even in the equivalent of Luz's doppleganger/sister where it happened when she stood in as Camilla planned!

"You can do all the same things without self reflection or ethical consideration if you find the right ideology/cause or are actually a True Victim" feels easier to get than

"This is how you balance your dreams and goals and ambitions with the fact other people are just as rich with their own inner life as you. EVEN IF YOU, as entitled and rightly, HATE THEIR GUTS"

That's taught to the Collector, but surprisingly only when absolved or 'retooled much like EVERY OTHER antagonist before to be a new party member in disguise.. also weaker now with easier exploitable weakness so not have to tolerate the threat of his power and another convenient evil abusive older shadow adult is behind it ALL! I mean don't have to deal with the possible mind warping idea of a clinical socipath or someone inherently more powerful than you you have to WORK to habituate, rehab. Or he is too attached to his trauma and wrath and vengeance, or yoy have to develop and prepare means to substantially restrain/neuter/nerf/drug/etc

much same as not have to tolerate the threeat of Belos's influence or connection and effects. Or that he's one guy when need to dismiss him but Extant all powerful shadow when need to justify your actions that support your hero narrative.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 119: Hope

Harry was always alone.

It sounded a bit dramatic, a little pitiable, and more than a little untrue.

Because he was always out with friends. He had pub nights with large groups of people, he went and took those wine and paint classes with Luna and Ginny every other week, and a cooking class with Ron and Pansy on the off week. He met George, Ron, and Seamus for lunch on Thursday afternoons. Hermione dragged him to a book club with Draco once a month. He met Hermione for breakfast on Tuesdays and had dinner with Ron and Hermione every Monday (and often Fridays, too). Neville invited him for tea every Sunday and there was always someone different there with them.

Still, there was something that always separated him from his friends. All of his friends were buying houses, getting married, having babies, getting pets (or in Neville’s case carnivorous plants). And he was just... stuck.

“Well, well,” a smooth baritone voice said behind him, interrupting his sulk at the bar of the Leaky, and a smile tilted up the corner of Harry’s mouth against his will. “If it isn’t the savior himself.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Are you going to sit down?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at the other man.

Silver eyes gleamed in amusement, “that depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you’re going to buy me dinner. It has been a long day.”

(Read more below the cut)

“Oh?” Harry said, nudging the chair next to him back with his toe. “Well it’s a good thing I ordered the shepherd’s pie, then. You and I both know that’s always big enough for two.”

“Were you expecting me then?” Draco asked with a pleased grin as he plopped down in the chair next to him.

“Nope,” Harry said. Strictly speaking, this was true, he’d been hoping the other man might show up but not expecting him to. “I just like to have leftovers.”

Draco laughed at Harry as the bartender slid an old fashioned across the counter to him, “thank you,” Draco said, nodding to the man who all but ignored him.

Harry inhaled to say something about the man’s rudeness (an action he knew was futile since he’d done it several times) but Draco put a hand on his arm and took a sip of his drink. “Not worth it,” he said.

Harry sighed at him, “Tell me about work.”

Draco grinned, it was a sort of grin that Harry used to hate when they were younger. It was a grin that meant Draco had been particularly vicious in the courtroom today. With relish he began telling Harry about the woman and her child whom he had defended against a powerful, abusive husband. How he’d eviscerated the man on the stand and freed the two of them from his grasp.

“It was brilliant,” he finished with a sigh.

“Sounds like it,” Harry replied, resting his cheek in his hand.

Draco gave him a little smile. It had taken a long time to get here, even a year ago Draco would have been looking at him, trying to work out if Harry had meant it sincerely. “Tell me about your day,” he said.

“Oh, you know how it is,” Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sitting around in board meetings, trying to make sure that the people who actually know something get heard. Watching people who only want what’s best for themselves trying to make people believe they want what’s best for everyone.”

He laughed and took a sip of his drink, “I don’t understand how or why you do it.”

“Well someone’s got to, don’t they?” he asked. “Might as well use my fame to some advantage. Help people. You know,” he said, shrugging one shoulder and picking at the label on his beer.

“Come away with me,” Draco said suddenly.

“Sorry?”

The other man grinned at him, “I’m going on vacation. I’m leaving tomorrow for a week on the beach on an island. Come with me.”

“What? Why?”

The smile that had been so bright a moment ago started to dim, “Nevermind. It’s a stupid idea. Forget I said anyth-”

“Draco,” Harry said, realizing he’d misunderstood. He put his hand on his forearm. “I’d love to. Seriously, I would love nothing more than to go and spend a week on the beach with you. I just,” he trailed off, “why would you want me to?”

“Because you’re always moping. And you’re always doing things for everyone else. And you’re bloody lonely.” He shook his head, “And no one sees it.”

“Except you, apparently,” Harry huffed.

The corner of Draco’s mouth tipped up, “Except me. Come on,” he said.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Potter. Fucking seriously.”

----------------------------

The beach was fantastic.

Harry had never been to the beach for a vacation and he enjoyed every sun soaked minute.

Draco watched him with an expression that Harry couldn't entirely parse out. It was amused, and fond, and exasperated, and something else entirely all at once. "I don't get you," Draco said eventually, after they'd spent half the day by the ocean; lounging, swimming, drinking, and laughing.

"What do you mean?"

Draco shrugged and took a sip of his sangria before he continued, "You're wealthy, you have time, you obviously enjoy it here; why haven't you done this before?"

He frowned, "Well who wants to go on a vacation alone?"

The corner of Draco's mouth tipped up, "I'd planned to go alone. I have actually taken several vacations alone."

"Sorry, I didn't mean-"

Draco waved him off, "It's fine. I'm not offended I just," he shrugged helplessly, "I find you fascinating."

"You find me fascinating?" he asked incredulously.

"Haven't I always?" he replied wryly.

He huffed but couldn't argue considering that he'd been equally obsessed with the other man for most of their lives at this point.

"You could have done anything," Draco said, "There's nothing that the wizarding world wouldn't have given you. If you'd wanted to go on vacation and not be alone you could have had your pick of witches or wizards who would have gladly gone with you. If you wanted to be married with half a dozen children all you would have needed to do was pick the person." He shook his head, "You could have done anything you wanted, been anything you wanted, had anything you wanted but you've chosen a career that makes you miserable and you've chosen to be alone which makes you miserable." He shook his head again, "I don't get it."

"But how can I know if I'm actually good enough?" Harry asked. "How can I know if I'm good at my job or if it was just given to me because I'm Harry Potter? How can I know if the person who agrees to marry me is with me because I'm me or because I'm Harry Potter?"

"All this time I thought that you weren't on to me," he teased.

He rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

"You know what I think?" Draco asked as he leaned back in his beach chair and slipped his sunglasses back in place.

"I couldn't possibly guess," he replied.

The corner of Draco's mouth tipped up, "I think you're just scared."

He frowned at the other man even though Draco wasn't looking at him, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me perfectly," he replied, "You're scared."

"Of what?" he asked incredulously.

"Of being loved," he said simply. "Afraid that if you let someone love you, you'll have to let them in. You'll have to let them see all the dark, broken, twisty bits because it's not love if it's not honest."

"Oh and I suppose you're so much better at that," he snapped.

Draco snorted, "Hardly. I'm just willing to live my life until I've found someone who I'll be able to share those jagged pieces with."

He glared at the leg of the other man's chair, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Alright," Draco replied agreeably.

"I'm going for a walk."

He nodded and yawned, "I think I'm going to take a nap, the sun feels nice."

Harry got up and trudged away without another word, trying to decide if Draco Malfoy was full of shit or if he might just know what he was talking about.

The longer he walked and the more he turned what Draco had said over and over in his head, the more he knew that the only person whom he would trust to see his dark bits was Draco Malfoy.

----------------------

When he got back from his walk Draco was reading a book.

"You might be right," Harry said.

He hummed, "Not to brag but I usually make a point of being right."

Harry collapsed into the sand and stared out at the waves rolling in. "Can I ask you something?"

"Nothing has stopped you so far."

He huffed, "Have you ever been in love."

"Yes," the other man replied.

"How did you know?" Harry asked.

Draco hummed thoughtfully, "I woke up one day and realized that I loved his imperfections more than I loved the perfect image I'd created of him," he said. "I realized that I'm happiest when I'm with him, that he makes me feel brave in my fear and strong in my vulnerability."

"He sounds pretty great," Harry said, swallowing down the bitterness.

"He's also completely oblivious," Draco added. "And normally that would irritate me but his humility is part of his charm."

His heart beat a little quicker, "Is that so?"

Draco grinned, "Yes. And he's not too bad on the eyes, either," he added. "He's got a lovely complexion, fantastic long, dark hair. And his eyes," he let out a low whistle, "A bloke could get lost in those eyes and he wouldn't mind staying in the lovely green of summer."

Harry's mouth went dry and he couldn't quite find any words or summon any courage. Hope blossomed dangerously inside of his chest, expanding and expanding until Harry feared there wasn't room for a shred of doubt.

"He's rather fit, too," Draco continued, giving Harry a once over that even he wasn't oblivious enough to have missed. "And you wouldn't believe his arse," he added, "exquisite."

Harry laughed at that, "You're ridiculous," he said as he bent toward the other man. "I like you, too," he whispered.

"Took you long enough to figure it out," Draco teased.

He reached up and pulled Draco's sunglasses off his face, "I'm going to kiss you," he murmured.

"Took you long enough," he repeated before reaching up to cup Harry's cheek in his palm and draw Harry in.

With a sigh, Harry happily gave himself over to the kiss, over to Draco; knowing that his heart was finally in good hands.

-------------

Day 118: Glass | Day 120: Tough