#one day... i shall find him
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something to think about
read more for avatar and world list:
Avatars worn:
Midnight by TalkativeDrew Shouta Aizawa! by TalkativeDrew Present Mic by SuccMyPiano Presentation Microphone by Yoyoco
Worlds (in order):
Three Lions Pub by Tony_Lewis Mirrim by IgbarVonSquid Happy Hill Dog Park by Dr.Kim Concrete Jungle Bar and Grill by RadishFriend (that one was a bit strange) The Greatest World Ever Made by IgbarVonSquid Wonka Experience VR by Starport55
#I still haven't found the perfect Mic OR the perfect Midnight#I have a few that are pretty much the same but slightly different in that they have different toggles and shading#so I have to keep switching between them when I want different emotes or expressions#like only one of my Mics has a lying down pose so I don't look like I'm army crawling when I sit down for a second#one day... i shall find him#or just break and learn how to make avatars so I can just make my own#if I could make avatars I would make the sickest Loudspeaker avi you could imagine#vrchat#mha#nemuri kayama#hizashi yamada#present mic#shouta aizawa#you better believe I took that stinky man to the dog park
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contemplating stuffs
#i still struggle to draw him lol . one day i shall find a design i like… one day#anyway here’s a quick doodle that turned into a not very quick doodle#the walten files#art#twf#digital art#felix kranken#procreate#can you tell i love the color blue#felix twf
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i tend to talk a lot about the realistic nature of the witcher, its "realistic fantasy," "brutal realism," its references to political realities and inspirations taken from history, and that is all very important to it.
but... i also want to take a moment to say that the witcher, as a tragedy, also fills me with a hope... that such love, such beautiful families and friendships can exist, even if they differ too much to survive in the end. the idea that the beauty and purity of that love even exists at all, in such a fucked up world, despite it and sometimes existing in the very middle of it, is also what makes it realistic. hope is realistic. love is realistic.
#because it is also their love which dooms them in the end.#the close sense of understanding and BELONGING i hope to truly know one day#yennefer kills herself wretchedly trying to save (resurrect) geralt. because she loved him. like in a fairy tale.#the hanza all die out of love for each other and for ciri and for geralt#and it is out of nimue's love for the legend that we know its true ending#only out of her devotion to it was its ending found.#hm... only those who seek shall find.#what did sapkowski say about her... she is separated from the legend by time but her love connects her with it#the elbow-high diaries#the witcher books
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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okay last photodump from spa <3333 he’s so pretty and i miss him
#as we should say in sweden: oscis poscis 🥰🥰#i have never seen that nickname written out shekdhdjdn that’s horrible#but it’s cute when you say it 🤭#sending mental hugs to oscar bcs i miss him already#i made a new tag !!!#osc hands osc neck osc arms#so i can find my pics of his hands/neck/arms more easily <3<3#i shall tag them one day#when i feel like it 🤪#oscar piastri#f1
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I want his gender
#mentally im still here#that turtleneck outfit has haunted me since november when i watched this#daniel brühl the twink prince that you were#tbh most of his roles are very gender evny#this !!!#frederick zoller another twink#dont even get me started on zemo especially tfatws zemo and his slutty coat...#him as niki lauda???#all very gender#if i ever can recreate this outfit irl i will be very happy#(what is it w me and getting gender envy for german protags istg every german show/movie i watch i get rly obsessed w the protag)#(maybe one day ill go back and gif deutschland 83/dark/etc and my german twink collection)#(thatd be a fun project! i could never rly find the fandom so itd be cool to be self indulgent)#(i always wanna rewatch those so if i can multitask w gifing that would be great)#(im super non committal and me doing race recaps is one of the major things keeping me consistent so maybe i shall do that but w this)#daniel brühl#daniel bruhl#good bye lenin#goodbye lenin#catie.rambling.txt
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i fear i am endlessly predictable (writing new dps au which is once again fantasy with Arthurian elements)
#it's an au of the dark is rising sequence by susan cooper#(which is to say it's based mostly off of over sea under stone and the dark is rising - with hints of the grey king running through)#and also to say that really i just wanted to write an homage to a very specific genre of british children's fantasy fiction#that i grew up reading voraciously + which shaped my proclivities and tastes for literature extensively. the little white horse au also#matched this but unfortunately that one is creeping towards the unfinished wips every day#not to get into an abundance of tags but this au revolves around: todd + charlie + meeks as kids and friends on holiday together#and going on a quest to find the grail. which gets sidetracked by keating (charlie's mysterious magical great-uncle) and also#todd gaining supernatural abilities far beyond those a thirteen-year-old boy can reckon with. rip. you know how it is#i think i was just really interested in the way cooper writes will stanton he has such a brilliant. canniness to him#which i suppose is the point after he becomes an old one. anyway! enough waffling in tags!#tristan writes#dps#dead poets society#dps fandom#dps fanfiction#dead poets society fanfiction#no anderperry because they're all kids so no romantic relationships per se (other than in that teenager way -#and also they have like. the world to save and evil to defeat lol)#but neil is here and supernatural and also fun to write. there's a certain cadence#and i like leaning into a more ominous side of him especially when he's so young in this au it's really funny#strangely ethereal looking thirteen-year-old child tells you in his prepubescent voice that the Dark shall reclaim the Light in a#fierce and savage hunt known to history but the likes of which the huntsman has never seen over rushing water.#and you just kind of have to sit there and deal with that#SORRY THESE TAGS GOT VERY LONG I REALLY LIKE THIS AU
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Hearth to hearth, the Flame of War went.
Over snow-blasted mountains and amongst the trees of tangled forests, hiding from the enemies that prowled the skies. Through long, bitterly cold nights where the wind howled as it tried to wipe out any trace of that flame.
But the wind did not succeed, not against the flame of the queen.
So hearth to hearth, it went.
To remote villages where people screamed and scattered as a young-faced woman descended from the skies on a broom, waving her torch high.
Not to signal them, but the few women who did not run. Who walked toward the flame, the rider, as she called out, "Your queen summons you to war. Will you fly?"
Trunks hidden in attics were thrown open. Folded swaths of red cloth pulled from within. Brooms left in closets, beside doorways, tucked under beds, were brought out, bound in gold or silver or twine. And swords-ancient and beautiful—were drawn from beneath floorboards, or hauled down from haylofts, their metal shining as bright and fresh as the day they had been forged in a city now lying in ruin.
Witches, the townsfolk whispered, husbands wide-eyed and disbelieving as the women took to the skies, red cloaks billowing. Witches amongst us all this time.
Village to village, where hearths that had never once gone fully dark blazed in answer.
Always one rider going out, to find the next hearth, the next bastion of their people.
Witches, here amongst us. Witches, now going to war.
A rising tide of witches, who took to the skies in their red cloaks, swords strapped to their backs, brooms shedding years of dust with each mile northward.
Witches who bade their families farewell, offering no explanation before they kissed their sleeping babes and vanished into the starry night.
Mile after mile, across the darkening world, the call went out, ceaseless and unending as the eternal flame that passed from hearth to hearth.
"Fly, fly, fly!" they shouted. "To the queen! To war!"
Far and wide, through snow and storm and peril, the Crochans flew.
#Chapter 65#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#no spoilers please first read along with me#spoilers in post and tags with more notes reactions quotes annotations etc in tags#Dorian had gone to Morath. Had flown from the camp on wings of his own making.#He would have chosen some sort of small ordinary bird Manon knew. Something even the Thirteen would not have noted#Crunching snow told her Asterin approached. He left didn't he. She nodded unable to find words. — she knew. East not North.#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it. Yet it had been farewell.#He would not cage her would not accept what she'd given. As if he knew her better than she knew herself. Do we go after him?#Today-today they would decide where to go. Today she'd dare ask the Crochans to follow. — The Last Crochan Queen The Witch-Queen#to head back into hell The sun rose full and golden as if it were the solitary note of a song filling the world. — for him she would#Terrasen calls for aid! A young Crochan's voice rang through the camp. — but for her people — THEY GOT THE CALL — GO NOW#Even if she'd needed it waited for it. The Flame of War. What say you Queen of Witches? A challenge and a dare. Manon lifted her chin to -#-the two paths before her. one to the east to Morath the other NORTHward to Terrasen and to battle. The wind sang and in it she heard the#answer. I shall answer Terrasen's call Manon said. Asterin stepped to her side fearless as she surveyed the assembled camp. As shall I.#And so it went. Until the leaders of all seven of the Great Hearths stood gathered there. — I’m not crying ur crying — fire bringer#Rhiannon Crochan rode at King Brannon's side into battle. So has her likeness been reborn so shall the old alliances be forged anew.#Light the Flame of War Queen of Witches and rally your host. — the eternal flame — darkness will not claim them#Even the wind did not jostle the flame as Manon lifted it a torch in the new day. The Crochan crowd parted revealing a straight path toward#Bronwens Hearth. Each step was a drumbeat of war. An answer to a question posed long ago. Your Queen summons you to war. — Hearth to Heart#Then and only then did the young scout from the final clan take her burning torch grab her broom and leap into the skies.#To find the next clan to tell them the call had gone out. — nothing but a smoldering speck against the sky then nothing at all. — Hope.#Manon offered a silent prayer on the wind that the sacred flame the young scout bore would burn steadfast over the long dangerous miles.#All the way to the killing fields of Terrasen. Hearth to hearth the Flame of War went.#Fly fly fly! they shouted. To the queen! To war! Far and wide through snow and storm and peril the Crochans flew.#Terrasen calls for aid — so they follow. — Hold on LysAedion come on Aelin — I’m not crying I’m just crying — NOW GO QUICK#The true Witch Queen child of peace and war Manon Blackbeak of the Thirteen & Rhiannon The Last Crochan Queen
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Recent ones of these even though they all look the same lol.. forcing myself to document progress..
#I can average like 2500 words a day for a while and then something gets in the way and I don't write for a week or something#which then sort of erases my previous Doing Good At Keeping Up With It lol.. but... alas#Still moving slowly forward...#There's a 'community board' place in game where you can go to look at a few things and some of whats there is little 'odd jobs' the player#can do for a little extra coin (since you can buy items in the game/might need coin).#Thhough of course since it's just interactive fiction/visual novel it's not like... actual minigames or something. Just like..#mini stories of your character going places and doing stuff and having some interactions with the other places in the world#Like for example since modern refrigerators don't exist in this world one of the odd jobs you can do is help with doing ice deliveries#or there's one odd job where you assist a guy recharging the city's main bell tower/time keeping place by helping him go around and replace#the iriminel crystals (kind of like magical batteries - stones that are able to store energy that way and be used to fuel passive#enchantments). or one where you help food prep for the cooks at a nearby automat. etc. etc.#Just little short things to get a better glimpse of how the wider city is outside of just interacting with the main characters. plus earn#a tiny bit of coin. Though because they're so short there's not really branching paths or anything much for choices beyond#usually an optional dialogye menu where you can talk to the person you're working with and ask them personal#or work related questions if inclined to do so. It'd be cool if they were more in depth but.......erugh...#I have so much writing left to do already lol.. Also since it's really just to get money I could have just had them#all be like a single sentence of 'you go here and you do this all day then you come home. + 15 coins. yaay' and thats all#So maybe it's a middle ground to elaborate upon them at all. Just enough extra details to maybe be a little interesting#like ''ooh my character is in a little cart riding through the misty morning forest on their way to deliver ice'' . but also not so much#that it takes away time from like... the literal actual main game lol#ANYWAY. That's what all these are. There are like 10 optional little world exploring/job things you can do. and each I guess seem to be#about 2.500 words ish. That's including the optional chatting menus though. but still. reasonable for a little side thing I guess.#I got finished with one character's quests and stuff so I decided to take a break to work on some of the other little things like the Odd#Jobs and the 8 characters you can find around the world to have short conversations with that aren't actual main characters either. etc.#Then I shall return back to the Main Actual Things. ... augh...... still so much to do...#Which I could also just cut everything extra out but... idk.. since it's mostly all text I feel the need to give more options to flesh out#the actual setting somehow. Since in a 3D game you can walk around and explore the world and stuff. And of course there#are pictures. but it would take me infinitely longer to do detailed art of so much of the entire city youre in or etc. So i guess my versio#of still having some amount of ''exploration'' is just.. set up optional paths where more of the world can at least be Described.#You can't actually walk through a 3d orchard. or an elaborate bell tower. or an elven shrine. But you can Read About being in them LOL
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ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]
#just me hi#i'm going to get right back to it but i need to complain or i'll turn into a stale loaf of Bread lmao :3👍#so here it is. why's it gotta be so hard hhghfh#okay buildings suck i hate buildings. but also they don't make me want to immediately explode at the merest hint of actually drawing them#vehicles?? Vehicles ???? i am going to just. what if i just put everyone in magical cardboard boxes and did that huh. what is the point !!#i have to draw motorcyclessss and carssssss and i'm okay with bikes to a degree actually <3 and horsessssssss and truckssssssssssss#god forbid you pick an older model with like 20 articles on it cuz most of them are going to only have a side profile and 3/4s view of that#dang thing. which yea sounds manageable 'why is this a problem keeps' i cannot properly see the FRONT#i have to guess?? i have to Guess ???? my dearest wish i think i'm just going to live in the sewers. with the sewer creatures#GGHHHHHHHHHHHH#i am going to practice drawing this stupid thing that i'm going to use for like 7 panels MAX and then i'm going to commit a FOUL crime. lik#rearranging someone's usual playlist without them knowing so they're confused every time they listen to it afterwards#//okay enough of that. we're good hbfhsfh :3#i have done other things today ! i've actually made a rough timeline for pi.e so thaaaat's cool :D#that and found a cool artist to follow on pillowfort. i. forgor their user but they have cool art .w.#/also i'm past the halfway mark on this first chapter which is !!!#i don't want to jinx myself cuz i know i'm really good at that hfhsv - but i think i'll start storyboarding the next part if i can get a#couple more pages done :D#//also the cowboy au grows stronger everyday hhhgfshvbh#i kind of knew some sort of au was inevitable but i did not think it would be an old west one loll :3#still trying to figure out the logistics#i wanna find some good historical fiction from those eras (1860s-70s) but i do not have the brain space for it rn fbhs - so this will do :>#it won't have any of the magic or gods i think bc of that but i'm having fun regardless :D#it Does have some occult though. because i was playing the story for my brother and i Do enjoy scaring him hhbvhfhsfvh#there are devils on the ranch!! or are they devils?? he hasn't gotten that far yet lol :>#//i also may have some sort of weird lean towards the spooky because Somehow each of my stories end up containing some sort of thriller#element?? lmao rip my siblings#but it never happens on purpose. again; rip my siblings hfhhvsh#//oo running out of tag space lol <//3#i shall return. probably with more wip stuff cuz i started like 4 canvases in 2 days hhghghdvs - toodles !!
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the sword and shield part of the prophecy is soooo vague that i’ll rotate every possible theory inside my silly little head and then go “or it could be smth else”. absolute net zero conclusions reached but i had fun.
#like. i think hak being the sword is one of if not the most popular theories and i can see it bc well. look at the guy#but it’s the specifics of the wording that give me pause#‘WHEN the four dragons are gathered the sword and shield which will protect the king SHALL AWAKEN’#when hak’s been there from the beginning + there’s also ik-su’s warning that hak will die if yona doesn’t find the dragons#which. there’s definitely ways to interpret him still being the sword (or shield!! that’d also be a neat twist) even with that in mind#but ngl i’m also a sucker for the idea that he’s just. there bc he loves yona. no connection to the prophecy whatsoever.#like both options make sense to me and i can see either one happening#anyway my personal favorite theory rn is that riri is the either the sword or the shield#not saying it’s the most probable option. just the most fun to meeee <3#and ngl it only occurred to me during the latest chapter bc she’s clearly gonna play some kind of role#so it’s not like i have like a mountain of compelling evidence but i do have more than just. a feeling#like she has the sociopolitical standing and the ability (or at least pluckiness) to fill either role right?#and she was introduced and grew as a character only after all four dragons were gathered#which fits with some of the only things we know about the sword and the shield#do u see what i’m getting at?? am i making any sense at all??#it could also ofc be a literal sword and shield which. tbh i think is the most likely but also less fun to speculate about#anyway i also think tae-jun will have a bigger role to play. either as a part of the prophecy or not#but also how might zeno’s recent actions impact the prophecy……. much to think about as always#but that’s enough theorizing for one day! time to grab my iced coffee from the fridge and work on my silly little fic <3#akayona
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The worst person alive <- caved in and bought an anime figure because it was on sale
#''how dare you waste €29 on something unless for once just because you like it. you will never financially recover. jump off a bridge''#i do feel immensely guilty but also he tempted me like a syren...........#only i had to separate the babies :( i'd always wanted to get them as a set one day but. one wasteful purchase i can swallow... two? no...#keeping it vague because i shall post Pictures when he gets home to me eheh#it's not of izaya my beloved though 😔 i have Problems i chose years ago when and how i'll get figures of him.#If i'll still be able to find stuff of him around by when i'll be able to start building my weeb collection...#mytext#merch
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Punching siblings reeeeal good then turning back time so nothing actually happened should be an option
#HES INFURIATING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#furiously typing in here so i dont actually go and hit him#aghhhhh bro#hes being pissy abt finding his charger in my room#called me a liar bc i said i returned it (i did!!!!!)#then my mom told him to wash the dishes but he REFUSES TO#under the excuse that his job is to put them away since hes the only one who knows where everything goes#HES BEEN DODGING DISHWASHING DUTY FOR YEARS!!!!!!#and THEN#he goes off abt someone not putting away the knives where they actually go; pointing at me#i know for a fact that i do that part right!!!! so i tried to defend myself#and he FREAKING CITED FINDING HIS CHARGER IN MY ROOM#AS EVIDENCE OF ME BEING A LIAR!!!!#*sigh* im too tired for this#mom and i got memory issues so if we misplace say; shoes or a charger we just take the closest one and move on with our day#its fine; except my brother and my dad happen to have no memory or attention issues and think we're faking it and just doing whatever#anyways berry in angy mode#but eh; this too shall pass and all that *shrug*#shut up sheo
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rereading old thoughts & plans about the Mamakechi Lives au i had going a year ago now & being like "wow this is rly good actually, i should continue this" but knowing i have two other WIPs that i posted a first chapter for but have not touched since bc i am focused on my main thing, discacc, so everything else gets overall neglected
... but also. it's genuinely pretty good
lsdjfslkdfj for the hell of it i'll post the intro i wrote to it here . uh . you're welcome?
Akechi Goro lived by five undeniable truths. One. The world at large was trash. Selfishness ran rampant amongst the rich and the poor alike. While the rich hoarded their wealth, laughing at all who dared to be born common, the poor fought tooth and nail for any scrap of affluence they could get their pathetic hands on. Like crabs in a bucket - when one rose up, another would tug them down. Two. Success was everything. In a society that valued productivity above human lives, to be less than perfect was to commit the worst mortal sin. Those who didn't meet society's expectations were fated to live in poverty and suffering. If one wanted to avoid that fate, they could be nothing less than the best. Three. Friends were useless. Idealistic stories loved to enthuse about the 'power of friendship', but it was all empty. Pointless. Not once had Goro needed something as pathetic as friends. While others cried at being 'lonely', he spent his time being productive. The idea of friendship was simply a distraction - nothing more and nothing less. Four. No one would help him. In his nearly 18 years of life, Goro had grown to accept that his life was his responsibility and his alone. Teachers tutted behind his back about how unfortunate he was, while peers mocked him for his ratty clothes. No one ever extended a hand to help him… but it was all the same to him. He didn't need their help. Five. His mother was his reason for living, just as he was hers. Akechi Shiori was the embodiment of everything that society hated. A single mother, a former sex worker, a sufferer of mental illness and a survivor of attempted suicide. The world did its best to hammer her into the ground, but she never truly gave in. She never would, so long as she had her precious Goro… And she always would. He loved her like he loved no one else. Everything he was, everything he strived for, was for her sake alone. He would capture success so he could give her the life she was denied. He would support her so she could wake up one day after another with a smile. She was everything to him, just like he was to her.
#speculation nation#i think i have a tag for this thing. uh#mamakechi lives au#actually i cant find anything for it so slkdjfslkdfj that shall be the tag then i guess#anyways. uhm.#suicide ment/#this au is just like. me thinking about a no powers au. what it would actually be like if goro managed to save her life#becoming an emotional crutch to her. her reason for living.#growing up with the knowledge that he was the only reason his mother was alive. both from saving her life & stopping her from trying again#working his Ass off since he turned 15 in a job to help support them both. while Also being one of the top students in school#trying to get good grades so he can get into college so he can get a good job so she'll never have to work another day in her life#the ultimate mama's boy. he loves his mom very much. and he would do anything for her.#except it is really So very unhealthy for him. a toxic kind of relationship. where he's largely grown up being the parent to his own mom#he's not quite as mentally ill as akechi in canon. but he's still really not doing great lol. he's just got different complexes#and it... compels me#im incapable of writing anything short so lol if i do write this i gotta be prepared for it being. not short. Lol#ah well. maybe someday.#tho if u did read this snippet & are interested in this au PLS let me know. encouragement could very well allow this to actually exist lol
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taryn should be allowed to kill whoever she wants with (and this is crucial) no consequences
#and im literally the consequence lover. im the 'i hope it goes bad' girlie#but she just CANNOT catch a break 😭#imagine youre a perpetual habitual liar and you fall in love with this fucking wizard who seems to ooze sincerity#and then you find out he's dying and it's like ah fuck lads thats not good#and then another more legendary wizard comes along and fixes him but explains GOD WANTS HIM PERSONALLY DEAD. PERSONALLY.#and you've never even KISSED!!!! never held HANDS!!! she wants him so bad but now they're in the UNDERDARK and EVERYONE YOU EVER SAVED IS#IN A WORSE POSITION THAN THEY WERE AT THE START#can she have one good day..... we shall see#also she's not insightful at ALL bc the most honest person she knows is hardly GALE 😔 but yknow#bewitched me body and soul etc etc etc
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There is a nonzero chance that I have COVID.
Yayyyyyyyy.
Let's hope it's just a cold...
#but we know that at least one person in my cast has covid#and i hugged him last night and talked to him a lot post-show with my mask off#i mask during the show but since we were eating and drinking i didn't at that time#sooooooo we shall see we shall see. thank god backstage i'm not as much around the cast as they are with each other.#other people in the cast have colds though. but most have not tested for covid. and honestly more might have covid.#is it bad i'm putting off testing too...#i almost don't want to know if i do... or at least... i don't want to know for the next 12 hours...#if i DO have it then it'll be an easier time than last time when i started developing symptoms on my way home from hawaii#and that was like 18 hours straight of traveling and due to the time difference i arrived home almost exactly a day later.#and over the course of those 18 hours (because literally my throat started feeling itchy at the start of the first of 3 plane rides)#i felt sicker and sicker and sicker. and in the uber home i was like i wanna die. but didn't sleep#because when i got home it was like 10am so i didn't want to totally mess up my sleep schedule so i stayed up most of the day#(i think i did nap at one point) and by midnight when i went to bed i was like oh i'm definitely sick with something#and at 4am when i was woken by a stupid tornado warning i realized i had been sweating in my sleep and likely had a fever#and woke up the next day at 11-ish finding out someone from the hawaii wedding had covid so i should test too#and my brother said the moment my swab hit the activator/indicator/whatever it was a solid positive line. yayyyy.#that was about 48-ish total hours between first symptoms and testing positive.#so. IF i have covid. i might not even test positive right now since i've only felt this sickness in my chest for like 5 hours.#at this point i'd be landing from the first plane and having a layover. and convincing myself it was just the dry airplane air.#i'd still have 2 red eye flights ahead of me to be miserable on while the symptoms progressed.#so i can definitely handle sleeping tonight and running a show tomorrow morning and then see how i feel.#also this might be psychological since i didn't really start feeling sick until AFTER i found out about the sick cast member.#that's a very very real possibility since i got so paranoid when i first heard he was sick and missing the show.
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