#one day when i actually finish things enough to post them i’ll have to pick a different writing tag

[saltpotion]

430 words today

[strniohoeee]

Broken

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is depressed, and Matt takes notice to her behavior. Matt being the good friend he is he tries to get her out of her funk, but will it work?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None just mentions of depression. This was a request but Tumblrs being a munch and not letting me add it

Song for the imagine: hope ur ok- Olivia Rodrigo

But, God, I hope that you’re happier today

Cause I love you

And I hope that you’re okay

It’s been getting worse. I hate this feeling, this darkness that consumes me. I wanted nothing more than to feel okay. I hate the way my depression swallowed me whole and made me want to disappear from the face of the earth.

I just wanted to feel okay, I wanted to feel normal and not drained. I know my friends were getting annoyed with me. I would slip into these phases of not wanting to talk to them, see them, go out with them. I mean I could barely get out of my bed to do anything. Often skipping meals and not drinking water. I would just sleep all fucking day and cry when I was awake.

I was fortunate enough to be an influencer, so I didn’t have to worry about actually getting up to work. I posted YouTube drafts and TikTok drafts. It worked for a while, but people started to catch on, and were wondering where I went. I couldn’t even be honest and come out and say I was so depressed I couldn’t even sit up in my bed.

The one person who noticed the fastest was Matt. Randomly one day he started texting me wondering how I was doing, what I was doing, if I wanted to hang out with him and his brothers, if I wanted to join them for dinner, if I wanted to film a video with them. I appreciated it truly, but I also kept lying to him. Telling him that I was busy or I had plans, or I was filming. I could not allow anyone to see me this way. I mean I didn’t even want to see myself this way…..

Matt had put me in a groupchat with Chris and Nick, and honestly it was making me feel better. They kept my mind off of things by constantly making me laugh. I mean they would text from 10AM till 2AM every single day.

The blue eyed freaks🧿🧿

-Y/N can you pleaseeeeee come hang out with us we haven’t seen you in like two months- Chris

-Idkkkk -me

-plzzzzz like you never hangout with us anymore-Nick

-yeah I’ve just been busy-me

-busy??? Yeah right not busy enough to not hang out with us- Chris

-hey if she doesn’t want to hangout don’t force her, but we do miss you and would love to see you-Matt

-thanks Matt🖤-me

-booooo boring come over now, or I’ll come pick you up-Chris

-you can’t even drive Chris-me

-okay….ill get matt to drive me to come pick you up-Chris

-fineeeeee okay fine I’ll be over in a hour-me

-FUCKKKKK FINALLY OMG YES- Chris

-see yall soon<3-me

I had gotten up and decided to shower, washing my hair and just really try to clear my mind, and enjoy the fact that I’m getting to see my friends again. I hadn’t been out of my house in a good month, and this was giving me major anxiety.

I felt like once they’d see me they would know I haven’t been okay, and that’s something that scared me. I had to seem okay. I was never the one who broke down… ever.

I hadn’t finished getting ready. At first I wanted to put on some makeup to hide my dark eyes, but I decided against it because I really wasn’t in the mood. I headed out, and drove to the triplets house. When I got there Matt texted me letting me know that the door was unlocked and to meet them in his room.

I let myself in and walked to Matt’s room.

“Y/N” Chris yelled coming over and hugging me

“Hi guys” I said laughing

“She’s aliveeee” Nick said hugging me

“How have you guys been?” I asked plopping myself down on Matt’s bed with them

“We’ve been good, just filming honestly” Matt said

“Nice that’s always fun” I said

“I love it so much truly, but how have you been?” Nick asked

“I’ve been good, you know. Just uhhh been busy” I said lying straight through my teeth

“Nice, what have you been doing” Matt asked

“Oh you know just filming and editing and just going out with some of my other friends” I said

“I love your hair color by the way, when did you dye it red?” Chris asked me

“Oh like two months ago I need to get my roots done actually” I said running my hands through my hair

“Two months ago? I thought this was recent all your TikTok’s and YouTube videos your hair was black” Matt said looking at me suspiciously

“Oh uhhh” was all I could manage because I knew Matt was onto me

“Okay anyways I’m hungry” Chris said breaking the awkwardness

“Me too” Nick said

“McDonald’s?” Chris asked

“Fuck yes” Matt responded

“Okay Matt can you pick it up for us” Chris said pleading

“Uhhh I guess i have too since yall can’t drive” he said rolling his eyes

“I can drive” I said smiling

“Yayyyy this is why I love you” Chris said

“I’ll mobile order it so it’s less stressful” Nick said

They all put in their orders, and they handed the phone to me. My anxiety making me nauseous and not really in the mood to eat

“Oh I don’t think I’m going to get anything” I said

“WHAT? McDonald’s is your favorite” Nick said

“Uhh yeah I’m just not in the mood” I said

“Do you want something else?” Matt asked

“No I’m not hungry” I said looking at him

Matt nodded before taking the phone, messing with it f and then handing it to Nick.

“Alright let’s head out” I said

“Nick and I want to stay back y’all can go though” Chris said

“Sneaky fucks” Matt said laughing

Matt and I had gotten into my car heading over to the McDonalds

“What’s really going on?” Matt asked

“What do you mean?” I asked glancing over at him

“I know you’re not okay” he said looking at me

“Matt I’m fine” I said

“No you’re not. Your eyes…..I can tell that you’re sad” he said

“I’m just tired is all” I said swallowing thickly

“Y/N be honest…are you okay?” He asked reading my face for an answer

My lip quivered, and a lump formed in my throat. Nobody has asked me if I was okay.

“No” I whispered out in a croak

“Talk to me” he said sitting up

“I just don't know. I’ve been so depressed lately. I haven’t been able to get out of my bed. I’ve just been posting drafts because I can’t even get up to film. I can’t even get up to drink or eat anything. I miss my parents, I miss home and I just feel so alone. You were the first person to text me, and you have helped me a lot actually. You inviting me over was the first thing I have done in a month” I said letting a tear fall

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. I love you so fucking much, and I knew something was wrong that’s why I reached out. I care for you so much, and I don’t want you to struggle alone. I’m here for you” he said looking at me with saddened eyes

“I appreciate it Matt truly. You’re amazing” I said looking over at him and smiling weakly

“Never allow yourself to struggle alone okay. Please reach out to me or Nick or even Chris as crazy as that seems. We will always be here for you….always” he said

“I will. I just was fighting with myself for so long I couldn’t reach out for help” I said wiping my tears

“And that’s okay. No ones pressuring you to reach out, but know that the option is there. I would never turn you away. You know I’ll come flying to you in a heartbeat” he said nudging my shoulder

“I know Matt. I love you so much thank you for being here for me” I said nudging him back

“Also I got you your favorite from McDonald’s. I’m making sure you eat. I can tell you haven’t eaten. I can see it in your face” he said

“Thank you Matt what would I do without you” I said smiling at him

“I’m not sure actually” he said

“Don’t get too cocky” I said pointing my finger at him

We laughed, and I pulled up to the drive thru. We got our food, and we headed back home

We got back to their house, and started to eat in the kitchen. Laughing and catching up. Matt occasionally looking over at me, giving me reassuring smiles and glances.

I spent the night at their house, and I slept in Matt’s room. We watched my favorite childhood movies as he kept asking me if I was okay, and taking small glances at me.

Eventually we ended up falling asleep.

What would I do without Matt?

The End

This was a request, but Tumblr is actually being a dickrider so it wasn’t letting me put it with my story. But anywho I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[thatssonanii]

Flashback #2

A/N: Hey yall! I been missing for quite some time but I just can't seem to finish this upcoming chapter (I've been tryna finish it since I dropped ch. 12) so I'm probably gonna start the chapter over. And some stuff happened that quite frankly made me a lil apprehensive to even continue this fic but ima keep going. In the meantime, I was able to write this flashback for yall. Let me know how yall like it. ⭐⭐LIKE, REBLOG, COMMENT, SHARE⭐⭐

Warnings: Cursing, arguing, typos, 18+ MINORS DNI

Do not copy my shit & post it anywhere else or take credit for my hard work!

Masterlist

Chapter Twelve

Hassan rubbed his throbbing temple as he listened to his ex-wife go on and on. From the moment Nadine picked him up from the airport, all she had done was rant about Moriah sneaking out with Zilla, wanting to find out how long the two of them had been doing so and exactly what the two of them had been doing together. Knowing that if he said anything, he would lose his temper and that was something he didn’t like to do and rarely did. All he wanted was to get his daughter.

“I hope her little ass enjoyed herself because it’ll be a cold day in hell before I let her go out without me again,” Nadine sassed as she eased into a turn.

Hassan looked around then at her. “Where are you going?”

“Home, Hassan. Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you, I’ll get to that in a minute.” He answered quickly. “Why are we going to the house?”

Nadine glanced at him from the road, a confused look on her face. “Are you not staying at the house?”

“We need to go get Moriah, Nadine. You know that.”

She scoffed. “It’s damn near midnight, Hassan. They are not gonna let her out right now and even if they would, her ass would still be sitting in there until the morning.”

Leaning his head back against the headrest, Hassan took slow deep breaths trying to calm his nerves. Once he found out that Moriah hadn’t been abducted, he was relieved but it didn’t last long. His ex-wife waited until he informed her that he’d switched his flight for a later one to tell him that she had their daughter sitting at the detention center.

“Nadine,” he called out to her in a soft tone, “If you knew they wouldn’t let her out this late, you should have gone and got her sooner.”

“And what would she have learned? Nothing.”

“Being put in handcuffs, riding in the back of a police car and being booked did enough. Do you know what kind of kids you put her in there with?”

She chuckled. “I sure do. That was the point. She’ll learn that jail isn’t where she wants to be.”

Opening his eyes, Hassan turned to look at her trying to keep his anger at bay. “You know like I know that sneaking out with Zilla is the extent of everything. She hasn’t done anything else.”

“And that is supposed to make it okay? That bad ass boy is rubbing off on her. I need to nip it in the bud right now.”

“What if somebody does something to her in there?” He asked.

She shrugged. “The girl knows how to fight so she better fight back.”

His brows rose in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Wow,” he scoffed, “And what if this does the opposite of what you want? You know she starts actually doing bad things. What then?”

“Hassan, just drop it. She is going to learn her lesson this time and that’ll be it.”

“For your sake, you better hope she isn’t harmed while she’s in there.”

“No, she better hope that the judge goes easy on her and just gives her community service.”

Those words triggered Hassan and got his blood boiling. He couldn’t contain his anger anymore. 

“Nadine, we are not pressing charges! She is our daughter for fucks sake! Just like I told you when we spoke earlier, charges are not an option! Am I being clear here?”

“She’s my child, I have custody of her so if I wanna press charges then that’s exactly what the hell I’m gonna do, Hassan! I am not a little girl, I do not need your permission to discipline our child!” She screamed pulling into the driveway. 

She snatched her seatbelt off after killing the engine then jumped out with her purse and keys trying to get to the door before him. Choosing to get his bag later, Hassan followed closely behind his ex-wife and rushed in behind her, slamming the door closed. 

“She lives with you but I have sole custody of her! Or did you forget? I let her stay because I did not want to uproot her so yeah, you do need my permission!”

Nadine tossed her things aside, going to get in his face. “I don’t need a got damn thing from you, Hassan! I am her mother and I will decide what’s best for her!”

“Don’t piss me off, Nadine. You don’t wanna do that.” He firmly stated in an eerily calm voice. 

Taking a chance, Nadine leaned up on her toes to kiss him, catching him off guard. He pulled away, taking a step back from her giving her an incredulous look.

“Don’t.” 

That was all he said before going back outside to retrieve his belongings. 

The next morning, Hassan and Nadine went to pick their daughter up. He insisted on driving, not wanting her to make unnecessary stops or the long route. Their drive was silent aside from Nadine trying to make small talk.

While they waited for Moriah to be brought out to them, the officer from the prior day approached them.

“Good morning. Am I to assume that I can close this out?” He asked looking more to Hassan than Nadine.

“Yeah. Get rid of it. We not doin that.” Hassan informed him.

Nadine sucked her teeth. “How long can we think on it?” She ignored Hassan staring at the side of her face, keeping her eyes on the uncomfortable officer. “Well?”

“24 hours but ma’am, I don’t think that’s a good idea. She seems like a good kid and she had a really rough day and night yesterday. I think she gets the point.” He explained. He hoped she listened or Hassan would make her listen. 

“Rough, you say? What happened?” She pushed with a small smirk.

Before he could elaborate, another officer came from the back with Moriah. She looked worn out, her hair was a mess and there were tear stains on her face. Seeing her made the smirk on Nadine’s face grow

“Daddy,” Moriah sobbed softly. She walked into his arms, breaking into a full blown sob as soon as her head hit his chest. 

Fire rose in his chest feeling his daughter’s sobs shake her body as well as his own. This was something that he wasn’t going to let go as easily as he knew Nadine was hoping. The officer took Hassan’s answer as the final answer and handed Nadine some paperwork before bidding them a good day. 

“Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did they bother you?”

Upon getting back to the house, Hassan carried his daughter to her room and sat on the side of the bed talking to her. She moved around her room to get a change of clothes so that she could shower.

“My side and back hurts,” she answered softly, trying not to cry. “They wouldn’t leave me alone. They took my pillow and my blanket too.”

“I’m so sorry, Rye. What happened to your side and back?”

“They had these bunks in there for us and they put me on the second. The girl under me,” she paused to wipe her tears, “She wanted to be on that bunk and told me to move. I told her no because I didn’t wanna get in trouble and because Zay said not to let them punk me.”

Hassan chuckled a bit at that. “I’m listening.”

“She kept telling me to move and I kept telling her no then she pushed me off the bunk to the floor.”

His brows furrowed. “What? What did the officers do?”

“Nothing,” she cried, “They just said to stop playing around. One girl in there was nice to me though. They bothered her too.”

Hassan tried to hide his anger from his daughter, not wanting to upset her more. “I’m glad you’re outta there. And don’t worry about nothing, I’m not gonna let your mama press charges. Okay?”

Moriah nodded solemnly.

“Good. You shower and take a nap. When you get up, I’ll take you to see Isayah and get you some food. Sounds good?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re my babygirl. You never have to thank me.”

As soon as he heard the shower running, Hassan went to the master bedroom where Nadine was lying across the bed on the phone and watching television. She rolled her eyes, muting the television.

“Can I help you, Hassan?”

“Hang up the phone.” He demanded calmly.

“For what? I’m talking to my sister.”

Hassan took a deep breath. “Unless you want your sister to hear me chew yo ass out, I suggest you hang it up.”

Nadine’s frown deepened hearing her sister laugh which was the only reason she hung the phone up. She sat up, moving to the side of the bed. “If you think you’re gonna chew me out about the charges then you’re mistaken. Might as well turn back around and leave my room. I don’t give a damn what you say, I’m doing it.”

“So you think I’m gonna let you do that to her? Is that what you think?”

“It's not what I think,” she sassed with a smirk, “It’s what I know. She’s gonna learn her lesson.”

“At what cost, Nadine? They pushed her off the top bunk! They took her shit and would not leave her be! That was only 24 hours in there!”

“Good!” She screamed jumping up. “Good! And I hope they lock her ass up for a whole year so them girls can do worse! Her ass deserves it!”

Hassan’s nostrils flared and his heart sunk at her words. He started to pace back and forth, keeping his eyes on his ex-wife. He took notice of her trembling hands and the way she nervously switched her weight from hip to hip.

“Just cause she cried to you, you think she learned her lesson and she didn’t. She just knows that a few tears will get you to lay off but that don’t work on me!”

“You pushing it, Nadine! You really pushing it!”

Nadine approached him, jabbing her finger into his chest. “Yeah and what are you gonna do about it, huh? What is Hassan gonna do about it? I do what the hell I want and there’s nothing that you can do or say about it!”

He grabbed her hand, roughly pushing her away from him. “If you press charges after I told you not to, I’m gonna take her with me and you’ll never see her again. I’ll make sure of it.”

“You can’t take her!”

Hassan caught her hand just as it came up to slap him. “I can and I will. If I have to move back here or fly her back and forth to see her friends every other weekend then I will if it means she’s away from your ass. Try me.”

“You’re really gonna take her away from me?” She asked with tears in her eyes. “She’s my baby. All I have left since you left me.”

Hassan again roughly let her hand go. “Oh now you care? You only want her for selfish reasons so keep the water works to yourself.”

“The only reason I did any of this is because I care about her well-being and how she turns out, Hassan!” She cried. “I care unlike the rest of you!”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “But you heard what I said, if you do that I’m taking her with me and you know I will.”

While their parents spoke, Zilla and Moriah went to his bedroom to talk. As soon as he closed and locked his door, he went to his best friend wrapping his arms around her tightly, letting her cry on his chest. He never knew what to say in these situations but he knew that giving her physical comfort was the next next thing. They stood in their embrace for a few minutes before she pulled away, he pulled her to sit on his bed with him. 

“You ain’t let them hoes bother you, did you?” He asked, making her smile a little.

“I tried not to. It was hard.” She admitted softly.

He sucked his teeth. “You know what I told you, Fat. What they do?”

Moriah told him the same thing she had told her father earlier. “But I’m okay, Zay.”

Ignoring her words, he lifted the sides of her shirt and the back to check her out. Gingerly, he touched the small bruise on her left side making his hiss and move away from his touch.

“You ain’t okay, that shit hurt, Fat. You ain’t beat they ass?”

“No,” she frowned, “I didn’t wanna get in any more trouble and have to stay even longer.”

He sighed heavily. “I get that but if your mom stay on that bullshit then you goin back in there and they gon remember that you ain’t do shit about them fucking with you.”

“My dad said she’s not gonna.”

“But we both know how she is, Fat.”

She huffed lying back on his bed. “I trust him, you need to trust him too. I’ll be fine.”

He rubbed her thigh trying to comfort her. “Aight, Fat. You gon call your new friend? What was her name?”

“Her name is Dreka. I gave her my number to call me. She’s a runaway too.”

“Too?” He asked, laughing. “You get caught sneakin out one time and now you a runaway. Yeah aight, Fat.”

She pushed at his back laughing. “Shut up. I been locked up, Ima thug now. I’ll shank you.”

“Ooooh, I’m so scared.” He joked.

“Hassan, I really am sorry about this. Don’t worry, if I have to make him sleep in my bed I will make sure they don’t do that again.”

Hassan waved her off taking a drink of his soda. “No, no. You don’t gotta apologize. It was Rye’s choice too. The person that should be apologizing is Nadine.”

“Can’t argue with that,” she chuckled. “‘Please tell me that she’s not thinking of pressing charges still.”

“She’s not and if she does, she knows what’ll happen.”

Leata raised a brow, interested. “And what’s that?”

“I’m gonna take Rye with me and she’ll never see her again.” He answered with a straight face. 

Leata was conflicted. She would be glad to get Moriah away from Nadine but she’d miss the girl and knew her son would. And she wouldn’t want Hassan in any trouble.

“You think she’d let you just take her like that?”

He smiled at her. “She doesn’t have to let me do anything. As far as the courts and the system is concerned, I have sole custody of Moriah. Not joint, not none of that. Sole custody.”

“Wait … what?” She laughed. “How the hell did you pull that off? When were you gonna tell me? And why the hell is she not with you?”

He laughed heartily at her reaction, giving her a shrug. “She wanted certain things in the divorce and I had a counter for each of them. In this case, she wanted to keep living in the house and I got sole custody of Rye. She’s not with me because she didn’t want to leave her friends, school and Zay. She said she could handle four more years with her. So that’s why I didn’t tell anybody. But Nadine knows so she should act accordingly.”

“Wow … gave up custody for a house.” Leata shook her head, thinking. “Albeit a nice house but you said live in, not own.”

“Yup,” he grinned, going to take another sip, “She wanted me to keep paying the bills and figured if I gave it to her outright I wouldn’t pay them.”

“She thought she was playing you but she played herself cause there’s no way you wouldn’t pay the bills if Moriah was still there.”

“Exactly but here we are.”

“I always told her that she was too smart for her own good,’ she chuckled, “So where do we go from here?”

Hassan rubbed through his beard. “I’m gonna talk to Zay, you’re gonna talk to Rye and hopefully get them both on the same page with us about everything so that we can all have some sort of peace. Cause I’m getting too old for this shit with her.”

“I hear that but okay good plan. Also, I wanted to share something with you.”

“What’s up?”

“After we got home yesterday, I talked to Isayah to see how long the two of them had been sneaking out and everything,” she explained in a low tone, “He said it’s been about four or five months. I asked him if they were having sex, he told me no and he didn’t get an attitude or anything when I asked so I believed him. He said they only kissed one time.”

“But?” 

Hassan could sense the other thought lingering in the air.

“I’m not entirely sure how long that’s gonna last. They’re coming around to the fact that they like each other and find each other attractive. If you don’t mind, I was going to have a little talk with Rye because I know Nadine isn’t and if she does it won’t be helpful.”

Hassan nodded thinking about her offer. “Yeah, yeah … that’s fine with me. I’ll slide that into my talk with Zay. You think we’ll make it outta these high school years without a baby?” He joked.

Leata laughed so hard she started to cough. “Hassan, I hate you but honestly we’re probably not getting out of them without a baby or a baby scare and God help us all if there’s an actual baby.”

[georgichan]

hello i noticed you had requests open for shane x reader, I was wondering if you could write something sappy and fluffy about them on some kind of date. No pressure tho! Have a nice day!

Hi Anon! Truly thanks for this, was really fun to write. I would have posted a little sooner but it's been a bit hectic moving! Hope you like it and have a nice day too <3

(Requests are still open too, so please request away) Tags: Fluff, Romantic fluff, cutesy Also posted on AO3

You were confused, blush coated features as he shoved hands in pockets.

You were certain you had heard him right, but all you could feel was your heart pumping.

Him looking at you in anticipation, and you try to bury your confusion. You had a feeling he could tell and you could see him about to talk again.

“Of course-“, You quickly cut him off and he can only blink at you in confusion. Like he was bracing for some formidable embarrassment awaiting whatever words would spill from your lips. Yet a yes, that was the shocker.

He blinked a few times, attempting to recover his reaction as smoothly as possible. It only assured you further you had made the right choice.

“I’ll pick you up at 7-“, he tells you instead and you quickly agree.

You were going on a date with Shane, and you could not wait.

_____________________________________ You wanted to pretend getting ready didn’t take you hours, but it did.

Hand scrambling to quickly put on your final accessory as a gentle knock is heard at the door.

Smoothing down clothes, a final look in the mirror before you answer it.

“Hey I’-“.

He pauses, a tinge of colour on his cheeks.

“You look…”, He seems lost for words, and you can almost imagine him buffering as he tries to think of a fitting compliment. Hands move to shuffle the back of his own hair. “Good-“. He tells you trying to quickly save the gap in time. You pondered if he was fighting to say more but nothing else followed.

“Thanks-“, you tell him with a smile in response then your eyes take in the sight of something you didn’t quite expect.

A picnic basket.

“We’re going on a picnic?” You quickly ask, envisioning the sight of him in Marnie’s kitchen producing such a thing. It was sweet but not what you had expected. Especially considering the time.

He seems to read your mind.

“Trust me-“, He tells you without any further of an explanation. He didn’t really need one either, because you certainly weren’t going to press for more.

You walk with him to a far too familiar spot in the town, the docks.

He throws blanket to ground and you perch next to him. Then as he starts making a spread in front of you both, you realise why he took you there.

It was beautiful.

Sun, sky in a dazzling array of colours. A sunset, timed too perfectly. You sat with him and he told you to help yourself. Both eating, with a golden glow over both of your features.

It seemed so perfect, almost too perfect. You wished your brain would give you a break, as he seemed to finish setting it up. Yet the way he seemed to fidget, you had a feeling you weren’t the only one thinking such things.

Before you can think to help yourself, he smiles at you again.

“You do enough, let me-“.  He tells you, not giving you a chance to fight back.

When he plates up a selection of sandwiches, cheeses and few little extra bits, you can’t help but notice that he even has some produce from your farm. It was especially sweet when it was one of the chutneys you had made just for him. He then hands you the plate and you both seem content to enjoy the moment. No need to fill the air with conversation, but a peace engulfs you that you haven’t known in a very long time. It was certainly a feeling that was robbed to you in your city life. You didn’t realise how much you had needed it and a part of you had a feeling that he felt the same too. A little breath of relief almost and you turn to him.

“Shane-“.

He finishes chewing something and turns to you.

“I was actually wondering something.”

This seems to get his attention a little more and he for some reason looks at the spread in a panic.

“Shit, are you allergic to something? Dammit, I should I have asked. I can take you to Har-“.

You can’t help but laugh, but you do quickly cut him off.

“No Shane, It’s perfect”. You lean close, a gentle touch to his arm to reassure him. For some reason he doesn’t seem convinced at the gesture. Like he’s waiting for his world to come crashing around him. “I promise”, you add hoping to reach something in the part of his brain that leaped to conclusions.

“Then what were you wondering?” He asks, hands playing with a piece of food leftover on his plate.

“Just wondering why you asked me out really”.

He seems to fumble a little, finally dropping the piece of food on his plate.

“I mean, isn’t it obvious?”

He takes a breath, pushing the plates away. You notice him inching closer and you can feel the butterflies in your stomach.

“I mean-“, you begin and he cuts you off this time instead.

“You know when I met you, I thought you were the most annoying person on the planet”.

You paused, that isn’t what you expected him to say. Your face dropping caused a little panic on his.

“No, no. Please, I swear I have a point.” He tells you scrambling to tell you quickly and all you can do is get your head to nod at him in response. You were confused and you had a feeling you weren’t keeping this from your features. Not that you were particularly trying.

“Look-“ He pauses, a breath from his lips. “When I first moved here, it was different to your experience I suppose. So watching everyone’s reaction to you. Well, it stung for a bit”.

You kept quiet, eyes never moving from his. He run’s a hand through his hair absentmindedly.

“Then we actually met and that bitterness it came through. You probably remember that, right?”

You laugh a little awkwardly, a little flashback running through your head of the first words he said to you. “Yeah, I suppose I do”. You tell him, still not able to predict where this was going.

“Then you. You were persistent”. He smiles a little shaking his head. “I don’t think I seemed to leave my home without bumping into you or ever going a week without some of the creations from your farm”.

You blush a little.

“Then we’d talk more and more and I finally understood. I knew one night in particular that I wanted to ask you eventually”.

You tilt your head at him, you couldn’t hide the curiosity from your features and you couldn’t help but lean closer to him.

“When I was walking to the saloon a little quicker on a Friday night, just in the hopes of talking to you”.

So many nights you’d wait there just for him, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies again as he admitted that to you. You had to tell him too.

“I’d wait just for you. Even staying if you were running a little late-“.

His chance to be taken off guard, finally your chance.

“Shane?”

“What?”

Another inch closer, hand on his cheek.

“Kiss me”.

You didn’t need to ask him twice, as his lips meant yours. So sweet, so gentle. A kiss to be savoured, as your hands snake up to hair all so naturally. You felt the fireworks, the moment neither of you could have ever seen coming. Grateful for every night staring at a drink just hoping for one conversation, for one second where you’d stumble to him on his way to work. You noticed his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer. Breathing away, faces inches from each other.

You both smile at each, cheeks so flush.

You were glad he asked.

He was glad you hadn’t listened to him the first time you met.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

what would megumi’s life have been if he was actually raised by the zenin from day one? like either gojo lost the custody battle or they were able to scoop him up before gojo ever reached them. i doubt they would want to keep tsumiki with them so she’s not there for little baby megs.

i think it would be really cool to see a zenin raised megumi interacting with his fellow classmates when he attends the school, not to mention the contrast between him and gojo. like on paper they both should have gotten the same treatment-being pampered and spoiled rotten but we also know that the zenin think that hurting little kids makes them stronger so it would be super interesting to see megumi realise that the stuff that happened to him wasn’t normal and for gojo to have a guilt trip bc he wasn’t able to help megumi when he needed someone to help him the most.

So I have a fanfic that I’ve half written (no idea if I’ll ever finish it—I’d love to, it’s just hard to find the time) about EXACTLY THAT that I talked about in this post for an ask game.

That being said, that entire thing happens from Tsumiki’s perspective, and I agree with you—I don’t think the Zenin would have ever actually taken her too. They don’t want her. She’s not Zenin. She’s not a sorcerer. They only bought Megumi. For the most part, Megumi is absent from that post, and you asked about Megumi. So this is what I think would happen on Megumi's side of that post I linked.

It comes down to two things:

1. He is never, ever happy with the Zenin.

2. He never lets go of his sister.

Megumi’s old enough to remember Tsumiki when the Zenin take him away. He's old enough to love her. And I think that Megumi loves very quietly, but he also loves very violently. He wouldn't let his sister hold his hand on the walk to school, but he would sacrifice himself for her future.

I think the Zenin took him from his sister, and I think he kicked and screamed and wasn't strong enough. I think they thought he would forget her eventually.

And then I think he bit most of the Zenin Clan.

At the end of the day, what Megumi wanted was the one thing the Zenin were not willing to give him. They were never like the Gojo clan, they were never going to pamper him, but there are a great many things in this world that they would give the Ten Shadows finally returned to them. But they would not give him a non-sorcerer, non-Zenin sister who would only be a weakness to him. They refused to let him have any contact with his sister, and that was the source of a lot of what soured.

Any Megumi that was taken in by the Zenin would have been taken in to Naobito's household directly. He would be announced as the one who finally inherited their most cherished technique, and he would be declared heir, and the Zenin would call him beloved for it.

They would keep him in a room that was large and empty and almost always dark, and he wouldn't be allowed to decide when he slept or woke, and the door would always be locked from the outside. They would give him a wardrobe of expensive clothes that he hated, and he would never get to pick which of them he wore.

Megumi would hate them. He would hate all of them.

He's just not the type to be comfortable with or enjoy the adoration of others--especially when it's not backed up by genuine love. Megumi is someone who very much values sincerity and depth to emotion--it's one of the reasons why he seems to respect Yuuji so much. Yuuji is a good person who follows through with what he says. He's not just going to talk about wanting to save people--he's there making the sacrifices as he does it.

The Zenin do not actually love him. And he knows it. He's experienced love before, and this isn't it.

They love the idea of him. The fantasy of him that lives in their heads. He has no interest in being their little god prince to contend with the Gojo's own. He knows who he is, and it's not this. He wants to go home. He wants to find his sister again. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

And I think that's a feeling Megumi never escape: he just didn't want to do this anymore.

Megumi would feel like a bug pinned beneath glass in the Zenin compound. He would constantly have people managing him--when he ate, what he ate, what he wore, when he slept, when he woke, when he trained, what he did. Having to become a jujutsu sorcerer signified an inherent loss of control, but it's nothing compared to the sheer objectification that he goes through when the Zenin have exclusive control over him.

He has no power of what clothes he wears. How his hair is styled. His schedule, his diet, the people he speaks too--he's suffocating and the Zenin are just increasing pressure on him.

I don't think Gojo ever thought that would be Megumi's life.

We’re gonna just have this imagining exist in the same world as the Tsumiki centric fic described in the linked post, and in that, the reason why Gojo never took him in was because he didn’t know Megumi had a sister. He showed up, saw the divine dogs, realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and decided he couldn’t do this. He was a mess. He was grieving Suguru and Haibara. Megumi looked just like the man who killed Riko, and apparently inherited the fucking Ten Shadows of all the goddamn things. The Zenin would lose their shit, and Gojo didn’t have the energy to fight and told himself he didn’t need to, because if Megumi was the Ten Shadows he’d be cared for like a prince with the Zenin. He turned around and left and spent the rest of his life with Megumi in the back of his mind, always nagging him with whether he made the right decision. It wasn’t until Maki got there and made a few worrisome references to Megumi's standard of living that he started to really worry that he had made the wrong one, and it wasn't until he found out about Tsumiki that he knew it was the wrong decision.

It's like this: The Zenin hurt Megumi in every world.

It would be bad no matter what, but it really gets bad because Megumi refuses to stop trying to get back to Tsumiki. She's his sister. They didn't have anyone or anything in this world, but they had each other, and he couldn't let these people just take her away. He’s feral about it. He refuses to fit the mold they keep trying to cram him in. He’s trying to scale the walls to escape. He’s increasingly desperate and angry and the Zenin are getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights them. He’s the heir to the clan, and he can’t stop trying to leave it to get back to some random girl who isn’t his real sister and isn’t someone they’ll ever allow him to have.

It gets bad.

They put him under increasingly strict levels of control. He’s constantly being trained, which means he's constantly being hurt. He’s not allowed to speak to anyone without the clan head’s approval. He is under absolutely constant guard after he manages to get over the wall and halfway to his old neighborhood before they catch him again. Tsumiki’s name is not allowed to be said aloud, or his old name. He forgets his name used to be Fushiguro, but he doesn’t forget Tsumiki. He doesn’t let himself.

I think it escalates until it hits a breaking point. Megumi becomes increasingly self-destructive and non-responsive to everything they try. They push him to extremes that start risking permanent damage.

I think Megumi would try to hurt himself, eventually.

He wouldn't be in his right mind. He's in the most shit situation possible. He's undergoing pretty severe abuse. He'd be at the end of his rope from the lack of control over his own life, and he'd be spiteful as hell towards the Zenin. And the only thing he has to hurt them with is himself.

As a character, Megumi has always considered his own sacrifice as an acceptable means to the end of getting back at someone. Mahoraga, intrinsically, requires him killing himself as a way of killing someone else. He'd hurt himself if it was the only way he had of hurting them.

Naobito would cover it up. He'd never, ever want the rest of the clan to find out that it happened. It was already bad enough that Megumi openly hated them--he couldn't have the Zenin seeing any vulnerability in what was meant to be their most powerful member. He'd put Megumi in total lockdown until he could make it all go away.

Then they'd make a deal.

A binding vow. Megumi could never purposefully hurt himself again. He could never again try to leverage his own safety against the clan.

And in exchange, Tsumiki would be taken care of.

The last time Megumi saw his sister, she was on a sinking ship. They were running out of food, money, options--he doesn't know if she even has food anymore. He doesn't know if she lost the apartment or if there's still running water.

They're not letting him see her. But they are letting him take care of her. He can sacrifice another piece of control over himself, and she'll never have to worry about money again. They'll pay for her housing, her food, her education, for her every desire for as long as she lives. The trust the Zenin set up for her will be a generous one, and it will be managed meticulously by a trustee who can make sure she'll be provided for until she's old and grey. And Naobito will vow to never hurt her or send someone else to hurt her. She'll be safe. She'll be taken care of.

Megumi makes the deal.

In the end, the deal's what sort of breaks him.

Because he doesn't promise to stop looking for her, but the Zenin manage to make it a part of the terms anyway. When they approach Tsumiki's mother with the offer to be her family's beneficiary, they include a requirement that Tsumiki be moved to another city entirely with no forwarding address given. She needs to be somewhere that Megumi can never find her again.

The Zenin keep the old apartment. They pay the rent every month. And the next time Megumi manages to make it off compound, they let him make it all the way there before dragging him home. They let him see the empty apartment with all its empty rooms.

Naobito wants him to know that Tsumiki's gone. He wants him to know that he'll never find her again.

He tries to run a few more times after that, but he never makes it very far. He doesn't have anywhere to go.

In the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki, just once. She's on a class trip. He's on one of his very few and far between allowed excursions off the compound grounds, and he sees her in the crowd and recognizes her, and he ducks away from his escort before anyone can stop him.

She remembers him. He didn't think she would do that.

She tries to save him. He didn't think she would do that either.

She still loves him. And he was always too afraid to hope she would do that.

It goes the same way it did the first time. There's a car, and the Zenin shove him in it. She's on the outside, and he's trapped within, and he wishes she didn't scream so loudly when it happens. The sound never seems to leave his dreams.

His sister still loves him. Naoya hits him in the back of the head. He wakes up, and it was like she was never there at all.

But they hit him harder, after. Like they're trying to beat the memory of her out of him. He has even less freedom, when he already had next to none at all.

But he still has a sister. He has a place to go that isn't here. He just has to figure out where that is.

He wouldn't really have anyone in the Zenin clan. Most people are just... weird about him. Naoya's violently abusive. Naobito's weird and violently abusive. Everyone wants him to be someone he's not.

Maki would be his favorite.

He doesn't care about whether she's got cursed energy--his sister didn't have any. And she's obviously strong. She doesn't treat him like a divine blessing or try to force him to act a certain way. I think they would have genuinely liked each other, but kept each other at a distance. They're both trapped in an abusive situation and keep themselves safe by keeping everyone else at arm's length.

He would have been happy to see her get out, though. He would have told her that she could have his spot as heir or head or whatever when she came back if she wanted it. She would have told him that if he ever got out... well, fuck it. They could be something then. Family. Whatever the fuck they weren't allowed to be here.

She would have told him she's sorry, and she would have meant it. The only one she she regretted more than Megumi was Maki. He would have told her not to be, that if she dared to be sorry for getting out that he would never forgive her, and he would have meant that too.

I think his relationship with his own techinque would be very different in a world where the Zenin raised him. In canon, his issue is that he doesn't view himself as someone who could be powerful or win in the long run, but in this world, all he ever hears is how powerful he is. Pride of the fucking Zenin. The most powerful of them in centuries. Meant to rival Gojo fucking Satoru himself.

I think his real issue would be controlling it.

His technique would be a source of negative associations for him. It's the reason why the Zenin took him away. Most of his interactions with it have involved getting beaten and hurt by either his family or a high-level curse they shoved him in front of. I think he'd have a lot more firepower under his belt than at the start of canon, but he'd have less of a fine tuned control over it.

He lost control over his own life because of his shadows. It think that would manifest in struggling to control his own shikigami at times. he's not as in-sync with them as he is in canon.

Eventually, he'd go to Jujutsu High. He would be the only one in the first year class at the beginning, just like in canon. And he'd finally meet Gojo Satoru, the man he's supposed to topple.

He looks at Megumi really goddamn weird.

He's... enthusiastic. About. Teaching. He guesses. And constantly asking prying questions about the Zenin, but not in the sort of way he'd expect from a rival. In the sort of way he'd expect from someone concerned about him. Which is stupid. And annoying. And weird. He keeps a distance from everyone. They've all heard about the Zenin clan heir, and he has no interest in having to fit or break whatever mold they've already cast him in. He's better off on his own.

Maki's there. She's cordial where other people can see it, and in private, she takes care of him in a way that's terrifyingly close to familial. He's not sure if he likes it. He's not Mai, and she's not Tsumiki, and they both want someone they can't have.

She isn't sorry she left. She is sorry she left him. He can hate her for it all he goddamn pleases.

Of course, if this is in the same world as the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki again. He finds her in Sendai.

He gets to keep her, this time.

Gojo Satoru, of all the goddamn people, intervenes and becomes his sister's benefactor. It's super fucking weird. He won't stop looking at Megumi strangely. He won't stop insisting that he didn't know he had a sister, like that matters.

That would sort of be the first time in a long time that life actually gets better for Megumi.

I think he would ask to go by Fushiguro again, once he asks Tsumiki what his name used to be. He'd ask her if she minded it, him taking the name again, and he'd ask the rest of the school to call him Fushiguro instead of Zenin.

Predictably enough, Naobito loses his shit when he finds out, but it's not nearly as big of a pain in the ass as he thinks it is? Because Gojo intervenes.

Gojo keeps intervening.

It drives Megumi nuts, because if anyone was supposed to hate him, it was this guy. If anyone was supposed to be against him, it was this guy. This is the guy he was supposed to rival. This is the guy who killed his shitheel bio dad.

Gojo's just... good to him. He keeps him safe. He keeps him safe from his own goddamn family, and that's--no one's ever done that. No one's ever protected him from the Zenin.

The Zenin try to remove him from the Tokyo campus and move him to Kyoto the second they find out Tsumiki's there, and Gojo just... says no. It causes an uproar, and he doesn't fucking budge. It's treading dangerously close to him kidnapping the Zenin clan heir, his refusal to let them remove him from the Tokyo campus, and he doesn't care about whatever problems it causes him.

Megumi's his student. He doesn't want to leave. So Gojo won't let them take him.

He personally goes to Kyoto and collects him, the one time the Zenin force him into a car and move him when Gojo's off on a mission. He tells the higher ups to get fucked. He changes Megumi's student I.D. to read Fushiguro, and he causes problems for Yaga and the assistants until they start calling him Fushiguro as well.

Megumi's different with the other students once his sister is there.

He's more connected with them. He becomes best friends with Kugisaki and Itadori. He gets closer with the second years. He's visibly happier, and it sort of casts in sharp contrast how unhappy he was before this.

And Gojo? Gojo's so goddamn sorry. He didn't know megumi had a sister.

The thing is that now that both Tsumiki and Megumi are on campus, it sort of haunts Gojo with what could have been. They're both fantastic kids--funny, smart, resourceful. And it's painful watching them try to rebuild what was taken from them. And it could have just. never happened. Because he could have saved them both. He could have been their family.

It's sort of painfully obvious the Zenin abused Megumi, and it fucking haunts him. He doesn't even have to read into Megumi's behavior--he sees it happen, right in front of him, with how they try to control him and push him around. He wants to kill them for it. He wants to hate himself for it. He could have saved Megumi and he just. He didn't.

He wishes he did.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

(Saw someone do this and decided it seemed fun~

link to my ao3 here)

How many works do you have on AO3?

85.

What's your total AO3 word count?

915,568 words~

 What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it’s for Helios Rising Heroes, Hypnosis Mic, Obey Me, Paradox Live, and Twisted Wonderland!

I’ve previously written for A3!, Ace Attorney, Ace of Diamond, Borderlands, Bungou Stray Dogs, Free!, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Fire Force, Gorillaz, Hero Academia, Kuroko no Basuke, Magi, Naruto, Red Dead Redemption, Run with the Wind, RWBY, Shokugeki no Souma, Stardew Valley, Tokyo Ghoul

Top five fics by kudos?

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes [Twisted Wonderland] – 6,298

We’d Be a Hit Together [Haikyuu!!] – 6,211

Super Powered Love [My Hero Academia] – 5,436

A Devil’s Bride [Obey Me!] – 3,583

I Need Love [Hypnosis Mic] – 1,928

Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I always read and appreciate comments made on my posts, on AO3 and Tumblr, I always check to see if someone has tagged it with commentary <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To be fair I hurt Malleus with the whole ‘you’re likely someone with a shorter lifespan’ idea constantly, but The Brightest Star was definitely a sadder one from my KNB days.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them because I truly hate unhappy endings. You can probably tell just from how I write that I try to put a positive spin on things, but I am trying to just let the angst happen or leave things off with ambiguity rather than specifying that a character only seems to feel a certain way when they’re actually feeling something else entirely.

Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally. I remember getting this angry message about me being a feminist because I made the reader like dom Hanamiya from KNB and they were MAAAAD about it lmao I also remember being on fanfic dot net and getting argued with and I just sent the brady bunch theme song over and over until they stopped messaging me back

Do you write smut?

I do! Not the biggest fan of it honestly because I never feel like it’s half as sexy as the things I read other people write, but I do get in moods and with certain characters they just need to be manhandled a lil, you know?

Craziest crossover?

I have never written a crossover in my LIFE

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Awhile back I did but I was told about it and the story was quickly taken down, I think it was on Wattpad or something like that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! I’ve gotten a handful of requests for my more popular ones to get translated, I don’t mind at all!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I mean I’m co-writing a book with the other admin on this blog, so does that count?

All time favorite ship?

Me and all my lil husbands.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I was writing this Criminal Minds fanfic that I had all plotted out, dramatic quotes at the beginning of episodes already picked, but I don’t think I’ll ever bother focusing on it.

What are your writing strengths?

I would say characterization is my strength! The characters are the best parts of fanfics after all and I always try to do research on the characters I write; if they’re ones I don’t know as well I’ll scan the wiki and read extra stories with them in it just to get a better handle on them! It’s why when there’s characters that haven’t been around long enough or don’t have a lot of content translated for them that I don’t like writing for them because I need at least something to go off of, I don’t want to have to make up their personality myself

What are your writing weaknesses?

Details. Which is a horrible thing to say as a writer, but I do feel like my writing lacks details here and there. Like with dialogue, I’ve been trying to write more in-between actions while the characters are talking since most people aren’t just standing still, especially if a character was doing something before another person entered the room. Descriptions of the world around the characters

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don’t like using google translate but I do have characters I love who speak other languages. Those heinous Hetalia days where you’d randomly put a word into the middle of an otherwise english sentence… they haunt me. But what I try to do with Citron from A3 is write some of his dialogue in parentheses to show he’s speaking in a language that the reader might not understand, and I feel like that works a little better for someone who doesn’t speak anything but english to do for the sake of not butchering another language.

First fandom you wrote in?

I truly wish I knew. I know I wrote for Naruto back in the day, and The Outsiders was one of the first full length fics I did. But that was back on Quizilla which has since turned to dust. I was also on Lunaescence for a while, whose creators have also turned to dust apparently. What a world

Favourite fic you've written?

It’s hard to pic just one when most of my fics are like, stand-alone short little things. But I think one I’m very fond of (which was written for the other admin so it explains why I put so much effort into it) was Snowy Mountain Getaway, which was a FE3H Dimitri/Reader College AU fic.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Please don't make any sudden moves (you don't know the half of the abuse)

Or the AU in which WWX isn't as touchy as in canon

Warnings: implications of mental and physical abuse

Hopefully posting it properly this time because Tumblr got me fucked up the first time

But Lan Wangji has been spending enough time with Wei Ying, around him, to see the momentary flinch he's trying so hard to suppress, the flash of panic in his eyes every time someone else tries to initiate any kind of physical contact with him.

Wei Ying flinches.

Lan Wangji has keen eyes, and he notices things that others may not. And it's his keen eyes that see it - because otherwise, it's nearly impossible to pick up on if you don't know where to look.

Wei Ying flinches like somebody for whom touch has only been painful.

Lan Wangji knows, because he has seen it before.

Some of his cousins, react like that too, after they've been disciplined one too many times.

Even brother reacts like that sometimes. He's never told Wangji why, but it's not hard to guess. Especially as some of the elders do recount the unruly days of the First Jade out loud over tea every now and then, and applaud themselves for having disciplined him.

Lan Wangji knows what that means. He's been good - outstandingly, exceptionally good all his life so he could avoid it.

But Wei Ying isn't a Lan. The Jiang sect isn't like them. Jiang Wanyin doesn't flinch.

Why does Wei Ying?

They're in the library again.

Wei Ying is writing down the rules - or whatever it is that he's doing - and Lan Wangji finds himself studying the other carefully. There are no visible signs on his body, no marks or brands or anything. Even when they shared the cold springs, Lan Wangji didn't see anything out of place.

(Not that he looked that carefully over Wei Ying's naked glistening skin... but! Bruises and scars attract attention... but there were none.)

Wei Ying acts like his usual, unbothered self, humming as he writes, not a shadow of anything negative on his face.

It doesn't make sense.

He hands Lan Wangji some silly drawing an hour later, and when, irritated with the incessant noise of Wei Ying asking him all sorts of things, he angrily reaches over the table, towards Wei Ying, to throw the paper away - he sees it again.

The barely suppressed flinch, the wide eyes, the fear.

It makes Lan Wangji's stomach churn.

"Wei Ying..."

He doesn't reply, not knowing whether to open his mouth or keep quiet, eyes darting quickly between the paper and Lan Wangji.

He speaks as if he's weighing the words a hundred times before they come out, and he's watching Lan Wangji's reactions with a very poorly concealed panic.

“S-sorry...um... I didn’t think you’d actually get so angry with me... I was just trying to tease you a bit like I always do... I’ll just... go over there and finish my work now...”

Lan Wangji is left with even more questions now - and with the terrible realization that Wei Ying is... Wei Ying is scared of him.

Scared of him too.

"I wasn't- actually angry." He finally finds it in himself to speak a few agonizing minutes later. "Don't - you have no reason to be afraid of me." An attempt at a comforting smile. "I'll never hurt you."

Wei Ying stares at him, his eyes stormy and unreadable, before they slowly fill with tears that Wei Ying can't blink away.

"Sorry, I- I don't know why I..." he's quick to wipe the little droplets off his cheeks, despite the many that follow. "I... nobody ever noticed..."

"I am here, Wei Ying. If you wish to talk-"

Lan Wangji finds himself pulled into a hug over the little writing table, feels Wei Ying's tears fall against the side of his neck.

"I know you hate touching but... can we stay like this for a little while?"

"It is not comfortable."

And so, Lan Wangji easily pulls Wei Ying into his lap and refuses to think anything traitorous of the position they're in now.

Wei Ying burrows in his chest, wonders if he's dreaming or if something is possessing Lan Wangji right now - but decides to bask into it nevertheless.

"I've never been afraid of you, Lan Zhan. I'll never be."

---

There is war, bloodshed, Wei Ying disappears for three months and returns more dead than alive.

This time, he doesn't allow Lan Wangji to comfort him.

Wei Ying flinches again.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 4

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here.

1608

Q: Man crush, honestly, do you think that West Lake Vinegar Fish is delicious? Can you finish a plate of Vinegar Fish from Louwailou by yourself?

A: Actually, I really can’t. At most, I can eat two bites. But I’ve heard that they’ve improved their recipe lately and now it’s very delicious.

1609

Q: Shu, how long do you spend online from day to night? Your mental state is great. (T/N: “great” as in “wow what a mental state!”) A: I actually have too many things to write but well, I’m a liuliang celebrity, aren’t I?

1609

Q: The unbeatable, most handsome man crush in the universe, may I ask if Wu Xie would get caught by Xiaoge and Pangzi for sneakily buying game currency in LOL so he can buy skins? A: You can’t skimp on skins no matter how poor you are. Everyone understands this.

1611

Q: Sanshu, you have written about so many places in China, have you considered letting the Iron Triangle go tomb robbing overseas? A: I’ve written a movie script previously. The three of them were kidnapped and brought inside a pyramid. I was prepared to direct it myself but there was an Ebola outbreak right when the filming site in West Sahara finished construction.

1611

Q: I’ll post this again. Lei, can you invite the original singer to perform Three Days of Silence next year? People go to the bathroom three times (T/N: this is the proverb meaning to visit a place persistently until you get the result you want), why don't you go to the bathroom three hundred times. After all, there’s still more than 300 days till the next 817.

A: I visit once per day? Won’t it make me look like a loan shark?

1613

Q: When will this Q&A end?

A: It won’t end. I will answer at any time.

1613

Q: Shu, you’ve previously said that you’ll slowly delete the drafts on your public account. Can you not delete them? I really like to read the drafts over and over again.

A: There isn’t enough space. There’s too many [drafts]. Even if I don’t delete them, you can’t find them either.

1615

Q: If Zhang Qiling could only say one sentence to Wu Xie in this lifetime, what would he say?

A: I can only say one sentence to you in this lifetime, go get paper and pencil, I’m going to start saying this sentence and try my best to not stop and tell you everything that I can say, don’t interrupt me, let’s see how long I can make this sentence, now listen up, Wu Xie, my plan is goes like this bla bla bla bla bla—

1616

Q: Do you think that you can write better than you have previously? Or has that best feeling stage passed? A: I can go back [to that state], but I will go insane. Once I go insane, I will hurt everyone, including you all.

1618

Q: Shu, I think you wrote the best when you were in the psychiatry hospital. Can you trouble yourself and fulfill us and go there again? A: Here comes the crazy guy.

1620

Q: I’m praying for Shu to get Tianshou today and update nonstop.

A: Once the Tianshou ends, there’s a great probability that I will go to Liuheta (T/N: a culture park in Hangzhou, West Lake area) and run around naked.

1623

Q: What were the first impressions Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie had of each other?

A: Wu: Wah, it’s a show off. Zhang: Looks like there’s a layman on the team.

1624

Q: Man crush, if you were to choose a birthplace in DMBJ, would you choose the Golmud Sanatorium or the Bronze Gate?

A: Are these birth places? What is my mom thinking?

1629

Q: Which one do you like more; going to work or going to jail? Can you write while you’re in jail or write while you’re at work?

A: What’s the difference?

1631

Q: Shu, what do you think ZHH means to you?

A: I was suffering a lot when I wrote ZHH. It was before my mental breakdown. I went crazy after finishing it.

60 questions in! /laid flat on the ground. Only 60 questions in... and the list keeps getting longer. On one hand, I kinda regret spacing these out so much but on the other hand... I need something to fill my days between the ZHH updates. Maybe I'll do double updates tomorrow! Who Knows!

[tragedy-of-commons]

Congratulations on getting 150 followers, that's amazing!

Since you wanted some requests, I have one for you. You should write something Qingque related. I think it would be fitting, considering your blog is themed after her and this would be a good way to celebrate this awesome milestone!

Do whatever you want to with it, I have no idea what kind of style/story it would be. Take your time with it, I know you're busy with other requests right now. Finish those up and let me see what your awesome writing skills can do with your icon!

Have a nice day!

crash course

qingque & gn!reader | wc: ~850

Your coworker teaches you to relax.

tags/warnings: platonic, i love qingque, overworked reader, mentioned fu xuan

notes: hi sam! tysm for the request and kind words! your support means everything & i can't believe i hit 150. i hope you like what i decided to do with this! ^_^

“…and that's how you slack off!” Qingque punches your shoulder, mouth full of god-knows-what-kebab. (You’re scared to ask, actually, given that she has a preference for her food to be fried beyond recognition.)

“You know, I don't think I needed your crash course on the subject. It's pretty self-explanatory,” you point out. “Self-explanatory enough that I think Madam Diviner Fu Xuan is going to know exactly where we are and hunt us down.”

Spices Supreme houses the two of you perfectly, home to various colorful characters on their lunch hours, rushing their meals as if they don’t have all the time in their lives (well, for Natives, you suppose). Letting her drag you away from your post at the Matrix of Prescience an hour before your mandated break was a bad idea, and you can’t stop looking over your shoulder like a scared dog.

“Xuany? You worry too much,” she dismisses easily. “She’s let me off with nothing more than a few threats of termination. Not to mention, you’re her favorite! Just blame me if she finds us.”

“Yeah, I definitely will,” you deadpan, “considering it is your fault.”

Qingque puts down her stick and covers her ears obnoxiously. “Lalalalala, that is not what I want to hear from you! You’re learning to relax, remember?” To make her point clearer, she leans forward and pinches your cheek, ignoring the aggrieved squeak you let out. “I used to be like this too, you know, clogged pores, dark circles, miserable—”

“Hey!”

“—but then I learned to let go and live for myself,” she says, pride suffocatingly apparent. She doesn’t even react when you swat her grubby little hand away. “So, you definitely did need the crash course.”

Her smug smile is unbearable-but-loveable all the same. When you first started working at the Divination Commission, your wiser coworkers advised you to steer clear of Qingque, Slacker Extraordinaire. It seems like fate had other plans, considering she stuck to you like a magnet, slowly spoon-feeding you her philosophy since day one. 

However, what surprises you more is her little anecdote; had she really been a diligent overachiever like you at some point? Was something like that even possible? The look in her eyes right now makes you want to believe her, and the sparkle in them earlier today is what convinced you to shirk even the tiniest bit of responsibility. Perhaps she cares more than she lets on.

“Fine,” you acquiesce. “I’ll ‘let go’. What else is there to it? Is there some kind of initiation that I don’t know about?” you pick at your food, appetite subdued due to your still-firing nerves. 

Qingque gingerly takes your hands, solemn and foreign. “I’m delighted you’d ask… it’s… it’s…”

She leaves one of your hands cold and roots around in her pocket awkwardly, maintaining intense eye contact with you like the world is about to end as you know it. You take it all back - this girl is strange. When she finally procures a Celestial Jade tile of all things, you groan inwardly.

“Celestial Jade? Really?” you hum, unimpressed. “Wow, I never would have guessed! It’s almost like you just dragged me out here to indoctrinate me and then force me to be your game partner.”

She huffs, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. “I know what this looks like, but hear me out! As much as I’d love for you to play a game or two with me—that’s not what I meant. For me, Celestial Jade is a big part of ‘letting go’. It’s probably my favorite thing ever - what I put all of my heart into. You need to find your Celestial Jade.”

Qingque presses the tile into your palm. Five multicolored hearts take up the expanse of the brick, other details emerging such as its scuffed corners and its chipped paint; it is well-worn and likely seen hundreds of victories. While you stare, she continues to talk, familiar stars in the green-yellow of her irises.

“You work hard, and that’s cool. But I don’t think it’s making you happy… I thought bringing you out here today would be fun. I want everybody to have fun,” she laughs. “Also, I do want you to be my game partner, hehe.”

Yeah. She’s strange… and also totally right. You close your fingers over the tile, thumb caressing the surface pensively. Most adults let their jobs consume them, including you; the way you put all of your energy into going above and beyond for something that drains you was never your goal in life. It just kind of happened. You do need something - or someone - fun right now.

“Qingque… I think I’m starting to get it.”

“Aha! I knew you would!” she points at you like one would an endangered species, “Now, you shall face my wrath in tile mania!”

(You do end up facing off against her, but not before Fu Xuan drags you both back to the Divination Commission with smoke coming out of her ears in whorls. As Qingque takes the fall for you with a wink and a poor excuse, you thumb against the tile now resting in your breast pocket.)

Maybe your strange friend can be your Celestial Jade.

[paraliveimaginesblog]

(Saw someone do this and decided it seemed fun~ also posted to my TWST blog

link to my ao3 here)

How many works do you have on AO3?

85.

What's your total AO3 word count?

915,568 words~

 What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it’s for Helios Rising Heroes, Hypnosis Mic, Obey Me, Paradox Live, and Twisted Wonderland!

I’ve previously written for A3!, Ace Attorney, Ace of Diamond, Borderlands, Bungou Stray Dogs, Free!, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Fire Force, Gorillaz, Hero Academia, Kuroko no Basuke, Magi, Naruto, Red Dead Redemption, Run with the Wind, RWBY, Shokugeki no Souma, Stardew Valley, Tokyo Ghoul

Top five fics by kudos?

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes [Twisted Wonderland] – 6,298

We’d Be a Hit Together [Haikyuu!!] – 6,211

Super Powered Love [My Hero Academia] – 5,436

A Devil’s Bride [Obey Me!] – 3,583

I Need Love [Hypnosis Mic] – 1,928

Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I always read and appreciate comments made on my posts, on AO3 and Tumblr, I always check to see if someone has tagged it with commentary <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

To be fair I hurt Malleus with the whole ‘you’re likely someone with a shorter lifespan’ idea constantly, but The Brightest Star was definitely a sadder one from my KNB days.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them because I truly hate unhappy endings. You can probably tell just from how I write that I try to put a positive spin on things, but I am trying to just let the angst happen or leave things off with ambiguity rather than specifying that a character only seems to feel a certain way when they’re actually feeling something else entirely.

Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally. I remember getting this angry message about me being a feminist because I made the reader like dom Hanamiya from KNB and they were MAAAAD about it lmao I also remember being on fanfic dot net and getting argued with and I just sent the brady bunch theme song over and over until they stopped messaging me back

Do you write smut?

I do! Not the biggest fan of it honestly because I never feel like it’s half as sexy as the things I read other people write, but I do get in moods and with certain characters they just need to be manhandled a lil, you know?

Craziest crossover?

I have never written a crossover in my LIFE

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Awhile back I did but I was told about it and the story was quickly taken down, I think it was on Wattpad or something like that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! I’ve gotten a handful of requests for my more popular ones to get translated, I don’t mind at all!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I mean I’m co-writing a book with the other admin on this blog, so does that count?

All time favorite ship?

Me and all my lil husbands.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I was writing this Criminal Minds fanfic that I had all plotted out, dramatic quotes at the beginning of episodes already picked, but I don’t think I’ll ever bother focusing on it.

What are your writing strengths?

I would say characterization is my strength! The characters are the best parts of fanfics after all and I always try to do research on the characters I write; if they’re ones I don’t know as well I’ll scan the wiki and read extra stories with them in it just to get a better handle on them! It’s why when there’s characters that haven’t been around long enough or don’t have a lot of content translated for them that I don’t like writing for them because I need at least something to go off of, I don’t want to have to make up their personality myself

What are your writing weaknesses?

Details. Which is a horrible thing to say as a writer, but I do feel like my writing lacks details here and there. Like with dialogue, I’ve been trying to write more in-between actions while the characters are talking since most people aren’t just standing still, especially if a character was doing something before another person entered the room. Descriptions of the world around the characters

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don’t like using google translate but I do have characters I love who speak other languages. Those heinous Hetalia days where you’d randomly put a word into the middle of an otherwise english sentence… they haunt me. But what I try to do with Citron from A3 is write some of his dialogue in parentheses to show he’s speaking in a language that the reader might not understand, and I feel like that works a little better for someone who doesn’t speak anything but english to do for the sake of not butchering another language.

First fandom you wrote in?

I truly wish I knew. I know I wrote for Naruto back in the day, and The Outsiders was one of the first full length fics I did. But that was back on Quizilla which has since turned to dust. I was also on Lunaescence for a while, whose creators have also turned to dust apparently. What a world

Favourite fic you've written?

It’s hard to pic just one when most of my fics are like, stand-alone short little things. But I think one I’m very fond of (which was written for the other admin so it explains why I put so much effort into it) was Snowy Mountain Getaway, which was a FE3H Dimitri/Reader College AU fic.

[afmis]

I forget I actually write abt cbeeduo but never post abt it. I was reading my drafts and here’s one I think is rlly cute but is still unfinished 😭 I’ll post the complete version of it once I actually finished lmfaoo

(Based on my hc that c!Ranboo is an artist and has sketchbooks filled with drawings of c!Tubbo)

_____

“Wow… “ Tubbo said, eyes growing wider and wider as he flipped through the pages. Ranboo let out a strangled noise, feeling like they were about to collapse from embarrassment, and his hand twitched to snatch the book back. They watched as Tubbo scoured the pages, mortified as he flipped through pages and pages of drawings of him. This was it. His worst nightmare. Maybe bolting would be a good idea. Or begging for forgiveness. Or maybe crying. Or changing their name and never coming back. Maybe all of them-

“You draw me really… beautifully. “

Ranboo jumped, whipping his head up to stare at Tubbo. Out of everything, that was the last thing Ranboo expected him to say. Maybe “You’re a creep! “ or, “How did you have the time for this” or “Are these drawing’s of me sleeping? “. But not… that. Ranboo blinked rapidly, astonished. Before swallowing. “Um… I- yeah. I guess I do. “ They responded, hoping their voice wasn’t as shaky as they imagined. Tubbo hummed, looking back at the book in silence. He looked… confused. Eyebrows scrunched up and lips turned down in a frown, he seemed to be struggling with something. Ranboo wanted to so desperately read his mind, pick apart that puzzled reaction. Why was that the one thing he asked. Before Ranboo could even utter a question, Tubbo looked back up again, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. He looked… uncertain. 

“Why? “ Was the single thing he asked.

Ranboo could probably explode. Why? What could he even say to that? Confess to daydreaming about him like a creep way before they were ever actually friends? Ranboo would probably rather die than confess his weird crush. Ranboo cleared their throat, tearing his gaze away from Tubbo’s captivating one. One that he drew so many times in that book in Tubbo’s hands. His beautiful, strong, genius hands- oh Prime. It was a thought, something Ranboo knew strongly inside them. He already dug himself deep enough. Might as well say it aloud, huh? 

“W-Well, “ Ranboo stammered, burning holes into the ground and immediately slapping himself inwardly on the head for coming off as a panicked mess. “You-You are. Beautiful, that is. “

Tubbo hummed again from above him, and Ranboo didn’t dare to raise their eyes. After a beat of silence, Tubbo spoke again. “You actually think so? I look like… these drawings to you? Beautiful? “ His voice was carefully blank, emotions guarded as always when it came to genuine conversations. Ranboo despised that in this situation, wishing he could tell what Tubbo was thinking through his voice. Fiddling with their hands, Ranboo nodded. “Yes. I don’t think so, that’s what I… what I believe. Ever since I saw you I- I thought you were beautiful. “ Ranboo confessed, words spilling out of his mouth. Words that they’ve been wanting to say. Words that-

Ranboo yanked their gaze off of the ground and met Tubbo’s, immediately mortified. Their whole body flushed like a furnace, and he felt like he was gonna barf. Oh god, Ranboo thought in absolute horror, staring like a deer in headlights at Tubbo, who looked back with wide eyes. Why did I say that. Why did I say that?! Before Ranboo could actually get on the ground, start crying, and beg for forgiveness, Tubbo laughed. Ranboo’s eyes immediately turned into putty and he wanted to cry. This is it. He realized how weird I actually am and is gonna tell me to never come back. It was nice while it lasted, my sweet chance I’m never getting back.

“You- are you serious? Me? “ Tubbo asked, voice high-pitched. He was looking at Ranboo like they grew two heads, and he glanced back at the drawings the same way. “I-I, you took the time out of your day. To draw these. Because you think I’m beautiful? “ Ranboo nodded faintly, confused as to where this was going. Tubbo huffed, shaking his head. His lips were pinched and he rubbed his forehead. 

“These are beautiful, Ranboo, “ Tubbo murmured. “But, I’m not. Out of everyone, I don’t see how you want to draw me. I don’t get how you see me like this. I’m not a pretty sight, much less a muse. I know that. But… thank you. I’m honored, I guess, to be your muse. “ Tubbo huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, and Ranboo instantly felt his heart break. Pushing aside all embarrassment, Ranboo got on his knees in front of Tubbo and clasped his hands in between their own. Tubbo looked at them in surprise, mouth parted. Ranboo took a deep breath in, and looked into his eyes, summoning all their courage. 

“You know what I don’t get? How you can think that of yourself. I don’t get how you don’t see yourself and instantly see how beautiful you are, because you are beautiful. And I mean that. Every since I met you, I couldn’t help but look at you and think, ‘Prime, that boy is the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen’. My drawing’s don’t even capture half of your beauty, and every time I draw you I wish I could. You’re-You’re a sight for sore eyes. Really, anyone would be lucky to have you. You have the prettiest eyes, why do you think you’re the first person I could make eye contact with? You-You have such a beautiful smile, I want to make you laugh so I can see it every time I’m with you. I- “ Ranboo immediately flushed with embarrassment again, looking at Tubbo’s wide eyes before breaking eye contact. He let go of Tubbo’s hands, losing all courage again. 

“I’m saying. Way too much. Gosh, uh, s-sorry. I mean- I meant all that! I just- I hope it wasn’t weird? “ Tubbo’s melodic laugh made Ranboo look back up again, and all mortification left to watch Tubbo’s wide smile as he laughed. His eyes were crinkled up and- yeah. Beautiful. Tubbo beamed at him, blushing slightly as he looked shy. He rubbed at the back of his head, uncertainty gone. 

“You flatter me, boss man, “ Tubbo said, voice teasing. He glanced away again, before looking back with a soft look. “Thank you. I really appreciate that. “ He added, voice genuine. Ranboo didn’t miss the softness behind it, though, and he relaxed, unable to look away. A large smile took over his face, and he nodded. “Yeah, o-of course, “ They responded. “I just- I want you to know that. “ 

“Hmm, “ Tubbo replied, leaning closer with a smirk and lidded eyes. “That you think I’m hot? A real show-stopper? A complete babe? My ego’s boosted. I’ll never let this go. “ He purred. Ranboo fought the urge to lean away, and instead simply rolled his eyes, cheesy smile unable to leave this face. “You’re so annoying. “ He laughed, covering one side of their face with a hand. Tubbo leaned back, tapping the notebook with a mischievous look. “You didn’t deny it, though, “ He said, eyes sparkling. “You think I’m hot. And I’ve got a notebook full of drawings of me to prove it. “ 

Ranboo groaned, face flushing as he smiled and lazily tried to swipe the notebook with one hand. Tubbo evaded easily, and caught Ranboo’s outstretched wrist with his hand. It was warm. Before Ranboo could tug it away, he was pulled closer, and he was met face-to-face with Tubbo’s bright eyes. Ranboo’s nervousness returned again, and he swallowed, not blinking. He heard the plop of the notebook falling against the couch as Tubbo put it down, and Tubbo’s free hand came to rest gently on the side of Ranboo’s face. Ranboo’s eyes widened, throat suddenly very, very dry. 

“Well, Ranboo, “ Tubbo murmured teasingly, never breaking eye contact. “You want me to let you in on a little secret? “ Ranboo simply stared, unable to do anything but that, before nodding slowly. Tubbo huffed out a laugh, and Ranboo felt his warm breath ghost their face. He was close. Very close. Ranboo’s eyes flickered down to Tubbo’s smirking lips, and they looked soft. And very… kissable. Okay, too close. Ranboo quickly looked back up at Tubbo’s eyes, and by the look in them, Tubbo didn’t let that go unnoticed. Tubbo somehow leaned closer, and stared right into Ranboo’s eyes as he whispered, 

“I think you’re pretty hot, too. “

Annndd this was a dream. Ranboo let out a strangled sound, immediately feeling like he was an old computer malfunctioning. They felt like they were about to pass out, and the gentle hand on his cheek felt like a furnace. 

“Oh my god. “ He choked out. As if that broke the spell, Tubbo’s hand left his cheek, and he leaned away, eyes scrunched up as he covered his mouth. He was giggling, and his cheeks were a lovely shade of pink. Ranboo could stare at him all day. And they did stare. Bug-eyed, unable to move as they sat dumbfounded. Tubbo kept on giggling, that high-pitched, squeaky, beautiful sound Ranboo loved. 

“Oh my god is right, “ Tubbo snorted, finally opening his eyes. They were crinkled up and his hand still covered his wide smile. “God, you’re so cute. “

“What. “ Ranboo breathed. Was this real? He couldn’t even believe he got called hot. And by Tubbo of all people. Wait. 

“Are you-, “ Ranboo swallowed, straightening up as he broke out of his stupor, fiddling with his hands nervously. “Are you- are you joking right now? Aha, uh. You wouldn’t be serious. About that. I shouldn’t have even asked, obviousl- “

“No. “ Tubbo’s hand lunged for his again. Suddenly he stopped laughing, and his face had gone completely serious. Ranboo couldn’t take the switch ups, his heart was about to explode out of his chest. Tubbo’s eyes pinned him, and all Ranboo could focus on were those eyes. And his hand holding his own, too. Oh Prime. 

“I wasn’t joking. I, uh. I’m being serious this time. Though, I was being serious those other times as well, but. “ Tubbo told him. Ranboo stared. Oh. He felt Tubbo’s thumb caressing his hand, and he flickered his eyes down at their hands. Tubbo’s was so small compared to his long, sharp claws. Beautiful, just like the rest of him. And an anchor. Was this really happening? He looked back at Tubbo, only to find him looking at their hands with a small smile. Ranboo could die. 

Ranboo watched him with round eyes, and soon Tubbo looked back at him. He was still smiling, and he looked shy again. Ranboo loved that look on him. “I don’t think calling you hot is very romantic, “ Tubbo muttered, glancing away in mild embarrassment. “And I know you’re a hopeless romantic. I think you deserve better than… that. “

“I’ll take what I can get. “ Ranboo rasped, causing Tubbo to bark out a laugh. “So he speaks! “ Tubbo said, grinning. Ranboo smiled, huffing. Tubbo looked off to the side again, eyebrows furrowing. “Um, “ He said softly, cutting off whatever Ranboo would’ve said in response. His pretty eyes look back into Ranboo’s, and he looks nervous but determined. His thumb starts to caress Ranboo’s hand more quickly. Ranboo nods, simply enraptured by his husband. “I… I really liked what you said earlier. Um, that. That made me feel nice and. I dunno. I didn’t think anybody thought that way about me. That made me happy. Uh, “ Tubbo swallowed, somehow looking like Ranboo in his nervousness. Ranboo squeezed his hand encouragingly, and Tubbo looked back at him, a fond smile taking over his features. He took a deep breath. 

“Ranboo, “ He said. “I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I mean that. And, it’s kinda crazy, because I thought that since New L’Manberg as well. I was like, is this guy a supermodel? And I can’t believe you’re my friend. And much less, my husband now. Like, I married that? And I just. Sometimes I lose my cool. Because I look at you and your- your gorgeous eyes and I can’t believe I get to look at them. “ He smiled happily as stared into Ranboo’s eyes. “And I. Look at your hair and how literally majestic it is and. Your-your cute nose. And your perfect eyebrows and- I can’t stand how much I adore your ears. And I can’t believe someone as gorgeous as you can even exist and. Ranboo, “ He took a deep breath, entertaining their fingers. “You deserve the world, honestly. Someone should be telling you these things every day and. Telling you how beautiful of a person you are inside and out, and how you’re such a great father, and how I can’t wait to raise more kids with you and. How much I love watching you dance in the kitchen while you’re making breakfast because you think I’m still asleep. And how much I love your dumb little jokes and how I pretend to fall asleep every night so I can watch you because I- I can’t believe someone so beautiful exists and is laying right next to me. And how much I wish I could just touch your face and wrap my arms around you whenever and- and- kiss your cute little freckles- “ He huffed, looking embarrassed as he glanced to the side, smiling nervously. Ranboo laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh my god, “ They said, smiling widely. “This has to be a dream. “ 

Tubbo smiled shyly, playing with his fingers as he shook his head. “If this was a dream I don’t think I’d be so nervous I’d want to throw up over this ethereal being in front of me. “ He responded, now the one to cover his face. Ranboo threw his head back and laughed, feeling so happy he didn’t even know what to do with himself. They gently removed the hand from Tubbo’d face, and leaned up, back in the position they were before. Except this time, Ranboo cupped Tubbo’d face with his head, smiling adoringly at the wide eyed look Tubbo gave him. “Let me save you, then, husband of mine. “ Ranboo murmured, delighted. Tubbo rolled his eyes, obviously still embarrassed, but he leaned into his touch. “Yeah, start talking about how hot I am so I’m the cocky one again. “ Tubbo muttered. Ranboo smiled, shrugging. “If you say so. “ They responded cheekily, making Tubbo groan. 

“Not actually, you dork- “

“Tubbo, every time I look at you I immediately want to propose marriage again, that’s how absolutely hot- “

“I hate you! “

Ranboo laughed, feeling light as Tubbo stared at him fondly. Ranboo rubbed gently at Tubbo’s face, relishing the content sigh Tubbo let out in return. “Well, just know I feel the same, “ They said softly. “I’ve felt this way since I met you. That’s- that’s why I draw you so much. Because I think you’re so beautiful. I could stare at you all day and never get tired. I just want to hold you in my arms as you fall asleep, and really, looking at you makes me want to propose all over again. You really make me lose all composure I have. And I… I’ve wanted to look into your eyes and, “ Ranboo cleared his throat, smiling sheepishly. “Well. Kiss you. I always do. I can’t help it. You’re… you’re perfect. “ Tubbo stared at him, lips parted his eyes were wide, and Ranboo could see them start to gloss over. Before Ranboo could panic, Tubbo smiled, looking content. 

“Ranboo, “ He whispered. “Please kiss me. “

“Oh Prime, I thought you’d never ask. “ Ranboo wheezed out, face heating up. He swallowed, heart beating quickly as he froze up. He wasn’t expecting to take the lead in this, they haven’t ever kissed anyone before. Ranboo leaned in closer, looking into Tubbo’d eyes, and Tubbo must’ve sensed his dilemma. He smiled, huffing in amusement, then closed his eyes as he met him halfway. Ranboo’s eyes were huge, and he quickly squeezed them shut. Tubbo’s lips were soft, just as he guessed they would be. And they were warm against his own lips, gentle and perfect. Tubbo lead him, twisting his head so their noses wouldn’t bump. Ranboo gently caressed Tubbo’s face, relishing in the warmth all around him. He felt Tubbo’s hand cup the back of their head, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. How was this not a dream? It was everything Ranboo wanted and more. They could cry, and they squeezed Tubbo’s hand, smiling against his lips. This made Tubbo pull back, causing Ranboo to whine in protest, and he opened his eyes to see Tubbo’s amused smile. 

[burninface]

🍾Weekly Tag Wednesday Friday🎉

FINALLY, after overtime work for three days straight, I can leave work on time and have time to finish all the interesting tag games 😇 it's a 3 in 1 post so:

first thaaaanks for tagging me ling @lingy910y , Al🧊 @spookygingerr, dean @transsexual-dandelions , deanna @deedala , sarah @atthedugouts 💖

name: face

age: it’s year of loong🐉 and 🐉 is my animal sign

location: bed

what is your dj name? well… hddnd, pronounce upside-down puppy

if you were a genre of music, what would it be? Fusion, a little bit of this, a little bit of that

what would you title your biography? Random Dream Generator

what are the first three things you'd do if you were invisible? It sounds boring and nerdy😴: 1)test out the how invisible I am, will all my metabolic substances also be invisible. 2)test what will happen if I intake some drink or food, or use skincare. 3)find out how would I look like in mirror/camera/photos

what subject do you wish was taught in every school? adulting classes and death education, maybe sex education and mental health too.

when was the last time you tried something for the first time and what was it? I tried osmanthus cheese ice cream today (I just picked out the box from my trash bin to check the English title lol), it tastes… meh😌

what is the most underrated city you have ever visited? I don't know? I never check much negative comments about a city before I go there...?

what day in your life would you like to relive? If I can relive it as my recent self, then maybe the day I birthed. if I can only relive it as my past self, then none of them.

if you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why? Picking up my hair all around my home😩

how long would you last in a zombie apocalypse? Depends, if it’s bite-you-and-you-die kind of zombie, about a week I guess (with all my skill learnt from zombie games lol). If it’s bite-you-and-you-become-zombie kind, at first day I’ll be bitten (out of curious) and I’ll try my best to write down how it felt like to become a zombie.

what would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? I’m actually living in my dream and my dreams are my real lives neuron regeneration/ braindance (physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts recording technic in cyberpunk2077, but ethically it may won’t be achieved)

if you could have any view out your office window, what would you choose? As far as it’s natural scenery, I’m ok with it

🎊pinterest tag game🎊

thank you Al, deanna, nosho @creepkinginc , julia @blue-disco-lights , tee @mickeym4ndy for tagging me💕

rules: search up fashion, pantone, mood, and food on pinterest and then save the first picture that comes up.

that outfit looks like smth I'll be interested in enough to try out in the shop but then never choose to buy. and that pantone pic is just…… so me. and I got the same mood pic with tee! the last one, not a fan of green onion😬

🍦positivity tag game🍟

thank you Al🧊, ling and keely @thepupperino for tagging me do this💝

rules: list 3 things you’re excited about for today.

1 after overtime work for three days straight, I finally can leave work on time! 2 I finally left work on time! 3 I LEFT WORK ON TIME!

Ok, just kidding 😗

1 after overtime work for three days straight, I finally can leave work on time! 2 ELDEN RING Shadow of the Erdtree released today! 3 Adam Lambert has a new song cvnty released on today too!

No tagging anyone since I'm late but just go ahead if you want to do any of these games!

[vendetta-if]

hullo, hullo! i sent an ask the other day but i’m not sure it got through to you😔. i’ll type it again for you <33

i love, love, love your if. the characters are perfectly fleshed out and the lore and story are just- mwah. perfection. but. butt(see what i did there? ;3c). take care of yourself. i keep getting surprised at how quickly you keep posting updates (at least that’s what it feels like to me. i have school and stuff so homework is taking up a lot of my free time🙃). take breaks, get enough sleep, don’t skip meals, and look at cat memes (cats are superior). also take care of your hands. i write as a hobby so i know the pain of sore hands. with the amount of words you type/write, my hands are crying out for yours. take breaks when your hands start to hurt so nothing bad happens to them.

anyways (onto the actually ask part of this. sorry for the long lecture lol), i was wondering how would the ROs react to an MC that sang as a side hustle (i’m in my schools choir. our concert was tonight). would they go to MCs impromptu concerts (they may sing in bars or cafes, etc.) or wait for MC to get home and request a lullaby or something? (idk if i explained that well. i’m terrible at explaining things😭)

have a lovely day/night!❤️❤️

Oh, yes, I actually have your ask in my drafts as I was in the middle of answering it 😄 But it’s okay, I’ll move the answers to this one instead 🥰 First of all, thank you so much for the kind words and the concern 😊

Some days, I can be really busy with some irl stuff, but I spent most of my free time working on this project, including writing the main story, side stories and other exclusive contents. I tried to answer asks whenever I can, but as some of you can probably see, it’s getting harder to find enough slivers of my free time to answer a lot of asks everyday, unfortunately.

But if I happen to have extra time, I’ll try answering a bunch of asks—as many as I could—in one sitting 😄 I’m still sad tho because I have so many awesome asks that I couldn’t get to, especially the reactions one because those usually take some time to answer.

I’ve also heard about the hand pain before from writers and artists. Right now, I haven’t felt anything yet, but thank you so much for the concern and for reminding me. I’ll certainly be on a lookout for that 🥰 And, I hope the school choir concert went great ☺️

As for your question…

Ash

Oh, MC better let them know whenever they’re about to have a performance, because you bet your ass they’ll be there every time. Unless they have really important mission to do that nobody else can do or be trusted to do… Then they’ll be really grumpy the whole time until they get home. Maybe your MC can give them a private performance instead 🥰

Rin

They will try their best to be there in every single one, even if MC is performing in a less-than-fancy cafe 😆 They’ll love to listen to MC singing and they kinda regret not finishing their piano lesson with their mom years ago, because then, they would be able to accompany MC’s singing. If they miss any, they’ll most likely request MC to sing to them at home if they don’t mind, of course 🥹

Santana

Oh, they’ll be there—or try their very best to be there. As long as there’s no emergency for them to attend, they’ll even be willing to sneak out of the station to go watch MC 😂 Between mind-numbing paperwork and enjoying MC’s singing, there’s no doubt which one they will pick every time. Also, MC’s singing will be one of the most effective ways to get them to fall asleep and calm them down after a vivid nightmare 🥺

Skylar

Will be one of MC’s biggest fans, rivalling Ash 🤣 Will try to attend every single one and you bet they’ll be that kind of fan who claps and whoops shamelessly after each song or try to sing along 💀 If MC doesn’t mind, they’ll love to record parts of MC singing and upload them to their Facegram story or TokTik account 😂 Soon, MC will be famous.

[santaclausisintofisting]

jimrey, 28 from the prompt list 😈

tucks hair behind ear hi natey its been 8 months. since you put this in my inbox i dont even remember where the og prompt list is but ermmm heres jamber & cobalt doing it. on a bike !!! ¡¡¡ te quiero !!! ... y lo siento </3 | prompt 28: motorbike | warnings/tags: theyre kissin, theyre fingerin, in public, on a bike, it's a whole thing, established relationship because i love that for them, lowercase intentional because i suck, no slipknot but imagine if you will: 2019ish era them | words: 1,586

for 18+ audiences only, minors dni

the venue they're in starts to pick up that atmosphere of dust that can only be captured by a blaring strobelight.

on stage, there is a man, who may or may not be jim’s entire moon and stars, blasting waves of sonic excellence that can only be absorbed by the audience roaring back at him. jim is off to the side somewhere, leaning with his back pressed against a bar with a smile on his face. that's his corey up there, ping ponging around, sweaty curls strewn about his forehead while his hands never leave his guitar. it brings jim to a familiar memory; that same face of pure ecstasy, same sweat, minus all the people and the singing. maybe some singing actually, knowing corey.

lights turn down then up then down again, and jim knows where to find him later, and corey knows where he wants jim to find him. he didn't have anything to drink during his time loitering around the bar (maybe he had a shot, come to think of it, but it tasted like pure gasoline water so it shouldn't count), but he leaves a nice tip on the counter. his guy’s show left him in a generous mood, maybe even an array of moods to explore later, if post-show corey wasn't ready to curl around a bag of snickers bars and pass out on his couch once they left.

he's outside and the second love of his life is sitting pretty on a kickstand, its chrome finish sparkling patiently in the lowlight of the alley. the closer jim gets to his bike. ready to rev up and wait for his boyfriend (an insane word to use for them, at their age, but they've found that it works for whatever they're doing anyway), a body he doesn't remember putting on it steps into view. shorter than him. sneakers that flap when they skid across the pavement. curls hanging low and sticky to the neck. a stupid smile and an even more stupid, beautiful, mellowed-out gaze. ah yes, of course. who else but the aforementioned boyfriend.

“still can't believe you ride this thing.” corey scoffs, his palms resting on the leather-wrapped seat jim just got replenished not too long again. “when are you gonna get a real car?”

“like you don't know how the inside of my car looks.” jim is chuckling when he wraps his arm around corey’s shoulders as silent praise for an act well done. “when are you gonna stop hopping in and out of my sick rides, huh?”

“never.” corey noses his shoulder. jim feels his teeth. “never.”

they stay looped around each other, corey’s trembling body searching for more of jim with his hands. jim feels corey sliding up his motorcycle, and the bottom of his heart itches at the idea of this idiot flipping them both over. he holds corey by the small of his back, tickles him with the forest of hair covering his chin, has a window open the moment corey recoils to complain. corey slows down when jim’s lips suffocate his. their clothed knees are safe from gravel another day.

corey is humming deep, inhaling every time jim exhales, and that he can't put on a brave face for, let alone keep them from tasting a broken tooth.

“hey, c’mon,” jim may be grinning like an idiot, but he has enough sense to pat corey just above his ass, “let's take off, yeah? i’ll let you wear my helmet.”

corey makes a noise, hangs his head like a sad puppy while his hands smooth down the front of jim’s shirt. if he didn't know better he'd think he was pouting. if he knew worse than that, it'd be turning him on more than it should.

“no one's gonna see...” one of jim’s buttons slips free, then another, then he's catching corey’s wrist and holding it tight when their eyes meet. “james.”

“um-” jim swallows back a tablespoon of his own spit when corey looks at him with a flushed face and furrowed brow, his mouth is open and waiting, and upon closer inspection of his groin something else is also waiting, trapped behind skinny jeans. “see what?”

corey makes that noise again. tries to pull jim closer. starts scooting backwards up the seat of his harley.

“i’m sayin’, like-” jim laughs, because this is far too ridiculous to still be hot, yet corey’s eager prick is still begging for attention, “like, how? not no, exactly, just… how.”

“you've never fucked on a bike before?” corey drops his fussy attitude once jim releases his hand, says it like it's on the same level as baby’s-first-second-base.

“you have?”

“no point in discriminating based on vehicle size with the way i fuck, james.”

“alright, you're putting your helmet on-”

before he could slide it off the handle bar and smack it onto his lap, corey is reaching up again, threading fingers through his short hair and pulling until their lips meet again. he reclines, and jim’s heart is ready to fall out of his ass when corey breaks their kiss to turn himself over, bracing himself on the handlebars. he's sitting just above the seat on his tip-toes, swaying his hips back and forth while he chirps that hoarse little giggle of his. even if what corey was doing- baiting him into being rode on his bike with no experience on how these things worked or didn't work- was completely dangerous, jim would be lying if he didn't agree with the alerted status of his own dick right now. it's stupid and raunchy, far too much and far too corny, and really… the only thing that would've stopped him, onlookers or other city-dwellers, wasn't around at the moment.

“do me like one of your biker-mag models, ja- aw, fuck-” corey’s gagged on two fingers tracing their way up and around his mouth, then he's slowed his breathing to accept them, moaning unabashedly when jim’s pointer tickles the back of his throat. jim looks down to see corey humping the front end of the seat, smirks to himself at the idea of an invisible tail wagging.

“yeah?” jim’s lowered himself to corey’s ear to slide his tongue behind it, one hand yanking down corey’s jeans- and to the surprise of no one, not one seam of underwear was to be found- while the other circled his hole.

“fuck yes.” corey is squeezing at the break pump so tightly jim is glad he remembered to keep this thing off, and extra glad corey’s hole takes his fingers so well.

corey whimpers through the first few pushes, and it echoes down the alleyway too loud, too pointed. not that jim wouldn't want the world to know how good he fucked his guy, and how good he could lie down and take it, but he also wouldn't want the wrong person overhearing. listening in. he bends over to corey’s mouth to stick his tongue in it, still standing at the side of the bike while he opens him up. corey is grunting sweet vibrations into jim’s beard, leaving both their mouths slick with spit and tooth-worn. the faster he flicks his wrist the deeper corey whines, and it's when he twists his fingers to push deep inside him that he hears the tell-tale beginning of corey’s orgasm.

he smiles into their kiss before breaking it.

“careful.” he scrapes his teeth on the bridge of corey’s nose. “don't wanna make a mess.”

“james-” corey might look fucking perfect right now, might have that dopey cross-eyed stare of his with his mouth hanging open, like he did whenever he was about to release.

“you do?” he slows down for two pulls, dragging his knuckles over where he thinks corey’s prostate might be, and he might've made the right calculations due to corey’s foot tapping haphazardly against the kickstand. luckily, for the both of them, it stays put. “you wanna cum all over my bike, don't you? make a fucking mess of yourself, where anyone could see?”

corey croaks through a swamp of expletives, and the motion he makes next could mean his eyes are shutting tight, and wouldn't you know it, corey’s gritting his teeth when he starts babbling. and due to the thrusting of his naked hips over jim’s seat picking up in speed, jim can safely say that corey has jizzed all over his pride and joy. his harley. his baby. the second love of his life.

“shit, james i- i am so fucking- fucking sorry, I couldn't-” corey makes a frustrated noise, shakes his head when his hips roll to a stop, “couldn't hold it, jamie, ‘m sorry-”

he slips his fingers out of corey with a sigh, letting him tug his own pants back up and watching him fuss over the stain. he crosses his arms, thinking about how far they'd have to go to his house to get wipes, disinfectant, his favorite conditioner-spray.

“look, man, i can-” corey zips himself up. rocks on his heels as he talks, his foot still tapping to the tune of nothing, he gestures vaguely at the venue door behind them, “i can go back in there, and get- get something to- i don't know-”

“nah, you're fine.” jim takes a step closer, watches corey tense up where he stands next to the bike, “you can make it up to me.”

and as jim starts to undo his belt, he figures that a corey could stand to suit some gravel on his knees.

[kadajsbitch]

Cooking

Final Fantasy VII Remnants

Warnings: Language tbh 💀 also these are personal headcannons and opinions.

Gifs aren’t mine.

Also, I’m going to start taking writing request. I’ll probably post my rules and list of characters and fandoms I plan on writing for after this, but if your interested in anything/everything ff7, send me a request lol

Yazoo:

Yazoo is definitely the part of Sephiroth who can cook.

Mostly for the fact that he appreciates his silence, and having the kitchen to himself.

In truth, he’d prefer not to cook and rather get his food from somewhere else.

When he does cook however, his meals are surprisingly good.

He by far isn't some Gordan Ramsay or master chef of the ff7 universe, but he can follow directions of cook book and actually have the dish come out tasting like what it's supposed to taste like.

The only thing he does suck at, is baking so if his brothers, (or you or your OC) have a mean sweet tooth, the most he can do is pick up the pastries you like from a good bakery.

Kadaj:

"Do I look like a chef to you?" -Kadaj after he made canned soup for his dinner night in the microwave.

It's because of this, he got removed from the calendar and it got split up between Loz and Yazoo (or you got his days depending on your cooking abilities)

He has to constantly be reminded to eat due to the fact he's constantly distracted by whatever task he's tasked himself with, and when he does it's something simple that doesn't involve a mess on his end he doesn't want to clean.

Kadaj is greedy, (not surprising considering he again is the part of Sephiroth who craves control due to it being something Sephiroth was robbed of in his life) and any cooked leftovers that get put in a container, he will devour and not think twice.

Oh? There was like seventeen tacos leftover from dinner last night that you were looking forward to eating for lunch? Well, there gone now.

Because of this, it's the one thing that will cause Loz and Yazoo to put their differences aside, and team up and kick his ass about.

He doesn't really have a sweet tooth, and due to his lack of effort for preparing meals, he could care less about dessert.

However, you might want to hide any pastries you get because despite his lack of having a sweet tooth, if he's hungry, he'll finish it all.

Loz:

Like Yazoo, funnily enough he can "cook"however his meals are fairly basic.

Definitely doesn't follow instructions.

If he wants something like pizza, he'll buy a frozen one and put it in the oven and call it a day, or go to a fast food place to pick up dinner for the most part.

Like Kadaj, he’s greedy as well, but more so in the sense that when he cooks, he mainly prepares his food for himself.

“I made/bought it, so I can get more if I want to!” -Loz after Yazoo tried to package the leftovers and put them away.

Gets upset if no one asks him if they can have any of the leftovers no matter how much there is. You could literally just get a spoon and if he notices it’s been touched, he immediately is going around asking who touched it.

Bonus:

Cloud:

Can cook, however flat out refuses if it’s possible that someone else can.

He can’t cook well, but he can make spaghetti, or cook a burger or something.

He’s one of those people who will eat something he likes, and if he’s put in a situation where he absolutely has to cook, he’ll try to remake it following a recipe he found about it, but is ultimately disappointed because it doesn’t quite taste like when he first had it.

Even though other people who eat his food thinks it’s amazing. 💀

For the most part, he eats out whether that be going to the bar and Tifa making him something to eat, or finding a restaurant.

Of course he doesn’t eat at the restaurant unless he’s with friends, but fast food sometimes makes him sick.

He could care less about others eating any leftovers of his creation, but if he has something leftover from either Tifa, or something he bought, he’s going to be pissed.

Overall, he’s very picky and precise.

[omgkalyppso]

🌹

Thank you for the ask!!

for every “🌹” received in my inbox i’ll post one random sentence of a random WIP i’m currently writing

Okay so I was going to answer my remainder of the roses in my inbox with wip's that would probably never be finished but this made me find a wip I had entirely forgotten about that I might actually write because it's technically "half-done" for me.

There's this claurenz sex pollen fic? Where the author gives permission for remixes or alternate perspectives in their works? So the fic is from Lorenz's pov, and I was going to write Claude's pov:

“Wait!” Lorenz freezes, bent over and reaching out to the rose. Claude thinks he may have warned him in time, and takes a step forward as he goes on to say, “Don’t—” but then he sees Lorenz’s fingers around the stem, “oh, shit.” Lorenz stands, releasing the flower so that the rose swings upon its broken stem, and Claude swallows, as he lets his original warning drift off, “Go and…” ‘Don’t go and touch that,’ his mind supplies unhelpfully. Lorenz’s cheeks look as though they’re already dusted pink and Claude has to look back the way they came, dreading Lorenz’s reaction to the sour news he has to share. There is still a sliver of hope, and Claude tilts his head back with a silent prayer that Lorenz will answer his question in the negative and they can revisit the subject when Lorenz will be more prepared to scold him. “You breathed it in, didn’t you?” Lorenz looks like he wants to protest, and Claude almost shakes his head — hating that everything between them has to result in debate, but then Lorenz draws his own conclusion. “I take it this is poisonous? Lethal?” A sardonic laugh bubbles past Claude’s lips, and he wonders whether Lorenz’s assumption will lighten the reality of his situation. “No,” Claude says quickly. “It’s, uh, it’s called … a bunch of things. Rose of Bassarid?” Lorenz shakes his head, and Claude could be imagining it, but his eyes look darker — pupils wider and eyelids heavier. He’d heard it was fast acting, but he hadn’t expected — Lorenz is fidgeting uncomfortably, vision dancing across Claude and their surroundings like a cornered animal. Selfishly, Claude wonders if he can spare the time of an explanation by simply finding a name for this poison that Lorenz might be familiar with, so he tries again, “Scornflower? Cethleann’s Bane?” “I’ve heard of it,” Lorenz says, curt and breathless, and Claude lets a smile of relief crack over his features, taking this annoyance to be a good sign. “Okay,” Claude says, assured. “That’s great.” Lorenz’s expression hasn’t changed however, as if he doesn’t recognize the predicament he’s in — that they’re in. “You don’t know what it is. Do you?” Claude asks, brow bending in defeat. Claude watches as Lorenz shakes his head again and curls his hands at his sides — and then makes the decision to keep focused on Lorenz’s face even if his friend can’t keep eye contact. With Lorenz’s hands at waist height it would be hard to avoid his inevitable arousal. Claude would much rather be invited to admire Lorenz, one day, maybe, and refuses to risk that imagined invitation because of curiosity and wanting discipline now. Besides, Lorenz’s eyes are so plaintive and pretty, Claude feels guilty enough keeping up appearances. “Okay.” Claude takes a deep breath, and feels his own cheeks burn with second-hand embarrassment as he explains, “It’s an aphrodisiac with some nasty side effects.” “Side effects?” Lorenz’s eyes widen, but his voice is … remarkably calm, but for the gasp in it. Lorenz’s breathing begins to pick up — and Claude hopes he doesn’t faint. Lorenz looses a breath past his lips, puckering them in a way that exaggerates the moue of his displeasure. He is standing against the sun and for all his composure looks as a man in need of comfort and Claude has to divert his gaze to keep from imagining it — throwing himself at Lorenz’s hungry mouth, taking him in hand and talking him through it. He raises a hand to the back of his neck for half a moment, remembering how Lorenz’s distress is doomed to intensify. “If you try to wait it out you might go sterile. Or, hypothetically speaking, if you’re made to wait it out.” An uncomfortable chuckle makes his words breathy. “Nasty thing to do to a political rival.” Lorenz makes a strangled noise of protest and Claude shuts his eyes guiltily. Professional, reliable, friendly, sympathetic — Claude knows he can be these things for Lorenz, has to be in a situation like this, for any other shared moment to have meaning.