#one day i will become remus lupin and all will be right in the world

[moonymoonbeam]

bought a moony sweater at a charity shop mental illness cured 🥰

[mangomonk]

i've been dreaming

↳ summary: read this drabble and pt. 1 first! remus deals with the repercussions of falling in love too late. ↳ content: angst, happy ending, mentions of eating/sleeping properly ↳ a/n: get comfy, this is a long one! i really appreciated and loved each comment from pt. 1, it made my day to see y'all scream heartbreak. would love to hear your thoughts on this one : D anyways, i went back and forth on my characterization of remus a million times, but i hope this version of him resonates and i hope you enjoy :") tense/grammar is all over the place, minimal proofreading but i've stared at this for too long. p.s. i'm kinda proud af about connecting the titles, they're from ivy by frank ocean.

Remus has been dreaming. Every time she had looked at him, he had felt like he was dreaming.

There wasn't a moment in particular that Remus could name when he realized he wanted her to look at him. He was in the middle of it before he even knew he had begun, though maybe a part of him had known it would have been futile to resist when she looked at him like that.

Or maybe it had been an accumulation of moments of Remus longing for her to look at him.

Maybe it had been when they had started their fourth study date together when Remus had decided he needed to act like a normal person and have strict boundaries instead of casting sidelong glances at her over the top of his book. He couldn't help but look at her as he tried to figure out why in the world a girl like her would ever agree to date him in the first place — he had only really asked so that he could be rejected and put the whole thing behind him.

But it wasn't his fault that the more glances he stole at her, the more he noticed the way her expression changed with each new story she read. It wasn't his fault that her lips parted when she was concentrating too hard on Ancient Runes. It wasn't his fault that her lips were the same color as his mother's tulips. But she never noticed when — or how — he looked at her, to his mingled relief and disappointment. It wasn't his fault at all, he reasoned — anyone would notice these things if they just looked at her properly. It baffled him a little how no one else seemed to have noticed this things about her yet.

It had been that day that Remus had decided he needed to start acting normal. He needed to learn how to control his eyes before he bore holes through her face. So he had focused on reviewing his Magical Theory textbook. Even though he had been rereading the same line for over five minutes. Even though he was so painfully aware that if he moved his leg out just slightly, his knees would knock against hers. Even though he could begin to feel her glancing up at him from across the table. When had he become so attuned to her gaze?

But he hadn't looked up, frustratingly going against every fiber in his body, because he needed to be normal and have boundaries and this was temporary. Even if she was looking at him like that. Remus Lupin, with his ever so strong willpower, hadn't looked up to meet her not-so-secret secret glances and had scribbled a note on his scrap of parchment and slid it over.

Hogsmeade this weekend?

Or maybe it had been when they had gone to Hogsmeade, the first time they had done anything together outside of studying. Asking her to go was a stroke of madness, but Remus had reasoned it to be a healthy show of their relationship, no matter how temporary it was supposed to be. It wouldn't make sense if they were dating and only ever studied together, right?

Right.

He had thought about sending an owl to cancel, even as he tried on Sirius's shirt for the second time — the night before, he had come to the sobering realization that all his clothes were plain. He had thought about telling her that he caught a cold, even as he let James slather Euphemia's silkifying potions through his hair. He had still been thinking about canceling even as his feet took him to the entrance gate—

—and she had been wearing a skirt.

It had been one of those long and flowy Muggle skirts — Remus had never before paid attention to women's fashion, but after that moment, he realized that maybe he ought to subscribe to one of Lily's Witch Weekly magazines so that he could get her more skirts, or rather, more of anything, he thought she'd look pretty in anything. Had he said pretty out loud?

Remus Lupin didn't have butterflies in his stomach, he had damn hummingbirds.

"Hi," he had said, a little too tersely and sharply.

"Hi," she had said back, all smiles. Despairingly, he had noticed that she was wearing lipstick. When he stared at her a little dumbly and didn't say anything back, her smile turned nervous as she fidgeted with the collar of her blouse. Impulsively, his eyes darted to follow the motion. "So... Hogsmeade?"

He wasn't going to tell her she looked pretty because he had laid out his boundaries. And if he started, he would never stop— "You look preautiful," he had blurted, stricken.

Her eyes had widened a fraction before she broke into a laugh. A proper laugh, not the quiet, library huff type of laughs he had grown fond of hearing. The warmth in his chest had spread all over and it had felt like it got to his head as a fog, rendering him unable to think. Remus had no idea what to do with the new, dizzying knowledge that she looked absurdly stunning when she was laughing, but all he could think about during their walk to Hogsmeade was how he might make her laugh again.

Or maybe it had been the first time he had properly introduced her to the Marauders. She had stepped closer to him instinctively — perhaps nervously, because Sirius was staring at her too appraisingly with narrowed eyes — when the back of her knuckles had brushed against his. Remus had nearly jumped out of his skin. Sirius's gaze had darted to him swiftly, his gray eyes knowingly bright with interest.

"Pleased to meet you," Sirius had said a moment later, his face breaking into a warm smile, but Remus wasn't paying attention anymore. He was just trying to figure out how he might hook his pinky with hers.

All this to say that there hadn't been one particular moment Remus Lupin could have pinpointed that had sealed his fate of wanting to be under her gaze.

The first time she looked at him, it was the start of nothing and when she looked away that night, it was the end of everything.

Remus wished she yelled at him. Hell, he even wished she had called him a monster, cursed him, hexed him. Remus thought that he would have been happier if she looked at him with contempt and disgust in her eyes, which only weeks ago had been his greatest fear when he considered telling her about his lycanthropy. The thought back then had kept him up at night, but Remus found himself dreaming for it now. Anything if it meant that he didn't hurt her the way he had. He found himself dreaming that she would just look at him again.

If Remus thought he had been panicked that night, it was nothing compared to the next day when he realized she was avoiding him. She hadn't shown up to the Great Hall — Remus knew this because he got there the moment the doors opened to make sure to catch her — and she didn't show up to any of their classes for the remainder of the day. The Marauder's Map showed that she was unmoving in her dormitory. When Remus finally did catch sight of her the next day in the Great Hall, he burst to his feet but froze a moment later. She walked past him, her expression one of unfamiliar blankness.

"Y/N!" He called, lurching forward towards her.

When she turned away from him to avoid meeting his gaze, Remus felt something like dismay sink so heavily and swiftly in his chest, like a stone thrown into a calm lake. The idea that Y/N wouldn’t look at him again drove him half-mad with a panicked disquietude that sent him scrambling to find a way to talk to her again. 

He tried in the Great Hall, but she stopped coming. She would arrive just late enough that class would start and would disappear the moment class ended. She stopped going to the library. Even with the Marauder's Map, he had no luck. The closer he tried to get to her, the further she stayed away.

Remus thought he was dreaming when he saw her alone in the corridor one Hogsmeade weekend when he couldn't bring himself to leave.

"Y/N," he said instinctively, hopefully. She looked up, her surprised expression immediately shuttering close. "Can we talk? Just for a moment?" He asked, stepping towards her. When she didn't move away, he straightened, encouraged.

“I know,” Remus began, his throat bobbing as he swallowed back the jolt of despair when he realized that she still wasn't looking at him. The despair only grew into a gnawing worry when he noticed the way shadows lined her eyes, the planes of her face hollower. Was she taking care of herself? "I know you don't want to see me anymore, cariad, but—"

"You don't get to call me that anymore."

He sucked in a breath, steeling himself before continuing. "Okay," he whispered, "Okay. I know. And I'm sorry, Y/N. I've never been more sorry in my life. And I won't ever ask you to forgive me. But, but I'm selfish because I want you to know that it was real for me."

She looked like she was folding in on herself as she clutched her forearms. "It wasn't real. You don't actually like me, Rem— Lupin," she said evenly, her tone neither cold nor warm. "It could have been anyone else."

"No, I do, I do," Remus lurched forward, desperate and earnest and wishing. "I like you, and maybe it wasn't real in the beginning, but it's real now. Like isn't even a strong enough word for how I feel about you, Y/N. I lo—"

"Don't." At the harsh steeliness of her tone, Remus froze, stricken, his heart dropping to his feet. "Don't say it."

"But it's true," he whispered entreatingly, imploring her to look at him again. "It's been true for awhile now."

"I don't believe you."

Each word hit him in the chest like a sharp pang, the stricken feeling in his chest clenching around his heart. "Okay," Remus swallowed back the crumpling sense of despair as he nodded earnestly. "That's okay," he whispered, as if not to spook a wild animal. "I... I'll show you." He had so much he wanted to say, so much that he wanted to show her. If he had been honest since the beginning, he wouldn't have hurt her. But maybe if he was honest now, it wasn't too late — he could still fix things. "You have my heart, Y/N," he continued softly, "—and you can break it, if you want, if you'll give me another chance—"

"I don't need it," she said quietly, looking away from him again. "Nor do I want it."

— — — — —

Remus stopped dreaming as he stopped sleeping.

"You should get some sleep tonight, mate," James said as he edged near his friend. "Full moon coming up."

Remus grunted in his response as he continued writing at his desk.

"Prongs is right," Sirius agreed, exchanging a quick look with the others. "She'll come around soon, anyone with eyes can see how you look at her. And how she looks at you."

"Why don't you talk to her again?" James suggested gently as he sat on the edge of Remus's bed.

"She doesn't want to," Remus said quietly, a blot of ink pooling at the end of his quill as he tried not to think about their last conversation.

"Why not write her a letter then?" Sirius asked. "Look, Moony, we're worried about you..."

A letter, Remus thought dimly as he stared down at the parchment in front of him.

Cariad, he began before setting his quill down to stare at the word. The first time he had called her cariad had been a slip of tongue. When he was younger, before his father had burnt himself out trying to find a cure to his lycanthropy, his father used to call his mother cariad. It was like a gentle period at the end of each sentence, an endearment that said everything all at once.

It had slipped into the end of his sentence one morning when he had asked her if she wanted orange juice or apple juice. Maybe it was too early to confess love, but it had slipped out, subtle and quiet like their time together.

"What's that?" She had asked, her attention now caught. "Car-iad," she said slowly, as she tried pronouncing the word carefully. Remus had thought he could have kissed her then.

"It's Welsh," he had said, keeping his tone light and casual as he reached for her cup.

But she had been as attentive as ever, her eyes seeing right through him as they tracked across his face carefully. It didn't help that he could feel his ears begin to burn. Despite himself though, Remus delighted being under her attention, and had relished it even as she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "For?"

Remus had schooled his expression carefully. "For 'Y/N can never pick between orange juice and apple juice,'" he had deadpanned, inwardly delighting in the way her lips twitched as she huffed, unconvinced.

"Today is an orange juice day," she had declared finally. Remus had bit back a smile as he poured her juice. When she took it, she had smiled at him around the rim of the cup. "Thank you, cariad."

Remus had thought that he was dreaming.

Remus picked up his quill again and got a fresh sheet of parchment. Dove, he began again before promptly crossing it out. A new piece of parchment. Y/N, he started again. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. He missed saying her name. When the squeeze in his chest got too tight to ignore, he set his quill down and rested his forehead against his desk and closed his eyes. He had hurt her so terribly, the person he loved. And Remus resented himself for it. He didn't have the right to call her cariad or dove or darling or anything anymore. He didn't have the right to wallow in pity. He didn't have the right to try to fix things when she so clearly didn't want him anymore.

"Remus Lupin," a voice snapped sharply as the door to the dormitory flew open with a boom. "How could you—"

“Lily!” James blurted in clear alarm. "Lily, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here because you lot have really gone too far this time," Lily seethed, her eyes as fiery as her hair as she stalked into the room. "Remus, I thought you were better than this! Y/N hasn't—"

"Lily!" James jumped to his feet in a rare show of courage against the witch. He let out a nervous laugh, but to his credit, stood firm even as Lily rounded on him. “You’re making him feel worse!”

For a moment, Lily turned on James, an incredulous expression on her face before her gaze slid over to Remus, who still hadn’t looked up during the exchange. She faltered, her scowl softening as her gaze darted back to James who gave her an encouraging nod. But then the fiery-haired girl straightened. “He should feel bad,” she admonished, though the venom had begun to dissipate from her voice. 

“And he does,” Sirius supplied helpfully from his corner of the room. “Moony hasn’t really, er, moved or spoken in days, really. We’re all getting concerned.”

"Well neither has Y/N," Lily grumbled, though her tone was beginning to soften rapidly.

This caught his attention. Remus lifted his head to look at her. "Has she been taking care of herself?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, a crease forming between her brow as she looked at him assessingly. "Have you been taking care of yourself?"

Remus didn't say anything to this as he turned to rummage through his desk. "Will you make sure she eats and sleeps properly?" He said before finding the stack of parchment he had been looking for.

"It took me nearly an hour to get her to understand that I wasn't a part of the mess you had created," Lily said, though not harshly. Remus ignored the look of pity in her eyes as he busied himself with cobbling together a few more sheets of parchment. "I think you should be the one making sure she's alright."

At this, he paused to look down at the parchment. “She doesn’t want to be in the same room as me, let alone speak with me,” Remus pointed out, his voice unsteady. In a quieter voice, he added, “She can’t even stand looking at me.”

The room fell silent. Then finally, Lily spoke up again. "Fine. I'll check up on her but not for you, but because I'm her friend. And if you ever considered her at least a friend, you ought to do it too sometime and have a proper conversation with her."

Remus bit the inside of his cheek as he turned to proffer the stack of parchment to Lily. "Can you also give these notes to her? It's for Ancient Runes. I charmed the handwriting so she won't know it's from me, but—"

"Remus," Lily sighed, but took the notes anyways as she looked down at his desk curiously before sitting down on the edge of his bed. A pause. Remus could feel her eyes seeing right through him. "Were you ever going to tell her?"

Remus tried not to look like he was unraveling. "I don't know," he admitted honestly. "I wanted to and I didn't want to all at once all the time."

He had thought about telling her before. But to do so meant that he would have to tell her about his condition, and that had sent him into a stricken spiral every time he had thought about it. He had thought that if he told her, she would look at him differently, with pity or repulsion in her eyes. He had been so afraid, so, terrified, of that look that every time the truth nearly bubbled out of his throat, he'd choke on it. But now Remus knew that the worse thing wasn't that she would look at him like he was a monster. It was that she wouldn't look at him at all.

It had always felt like he was running on stolen time, but each grain of sand in their hourglass had felt so startling incandescent that it had been easy to pretend that they weren't trapped in a fragile glass of his own making.

Every moment he had thought to tell her, she would turn and look at him with such fond adoration that Remus would swallow the words back in. She always made for such an arresting sight that Remus felt his breath still as affection would bloom so violently, so dizzingly, so distractingly, in his chest that it became hard to say anything at all.

He was distracted by the way little crinkles would form on her nose when she was thinking too hard. He was distracted by the way he could hear her smile in her words. He was distracted by the way she breathed and walked and loved, slow and steady, to a silent metronome.

And the honest truth was that Remus was more than happy to be distracted by her.

— — — — —

When Remus woke up from a dreamless sleep the morning after the full moon, he found himself, predictably, in a bed in the Infirmary. It must have only been dawn — he could tell the room was still dim behind his eyelids as he did his mental check of his limbs. No new scars please, he thought wryly once he confirmed all his limbs were in place, albeit sore and strained. Remus sighed. Then came the more dreaded question.

"Did anyone get hurt?" He asked, his voice hoarse from his transformation.

He expected one of the boys to respond, but when no response came, his eyes flew open in a panic. They normally stayed the night in the Infirmary to get their checkup from Madam Pomfrey — Remus knew they were just there to keep him company, though they always deflected when he tried to usher them back to the dorms — and they were normally the first to assure him that no one had gotten hurt. Alarmed, Remus sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed hastily to look around, his joints groaning in protest.

"Are you hurt?" A voice next to him asked.

He was dreaming again.

Y/N was sitting in a chair next to his bed, alarm quickly breaking through the remnants of the sleepiness that clung onto her eyes as she scanned him hastily as if to ensure he was still in one piece. There was an imprint of his blanket on her cheek. Remus's fingers twitched to rub it when she spoke up again. "Should I call Madam Pomfrey?"

So it wasn't a dream.

At the sobering realization, Remus shook his head hastily. "No, I, uh, I'm fine," he said, the words faltering on his lips. Suddenly he felt very seen. He had never wanted her to see him after a transformation, especially not then, when he was all fresh scars and worn bones. He felt like a shell of himself. "What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, fixing his gaze on his hands and noticing a new scar across the back of his hand, still red and shallow. He couldn't quite look at her now as shame and mortification flooded his system.

For the first time in his life, he wished she wasn't looking at him.

"You guys normally come back earlier on full moons," she said, still looking at him. "I was worried that..." She fell silent. So she had even known their schedule, he despaired.

"I see," Remus said tightly, feeling drained.

When he didn't say anything else, she spoke up again tentatively. "Sirius told me to tell you that no one got hurt—"

Chagrin and shame roiled in his stomach as he stared at the new scar on his hand. "You can go back now," he interrupted, grasping the blanket tightly. He wished she wasn't looking at him, he wished that he didn't have a new scar, he wished that the floor would just open up and swallow him whole.

He wished this was all just a bad dream.

"I'll go if you want me to go," she said quietly. Remus couldn't tell what expression she was making because he couldn't bare to look at her. Pity, fear, disgust. He was sure he'd never recover if she was looking at him like that— "But I... I don't want to go."

His gaze darted from his hands to her face. She was biting on the inside of her cheek, her eyes wide and imploring and distracting. Slowly, it became easy to breathe again. The imprint of the blanket was fading from her cheek. Remus still wanted to rub it off.

"Okay," he acquiesced, the word coming out as a soft breath. She relaxed back into the chair. "I never wanted you to see me like this," he murmured quietly, feeling all too cracked open under her gaze.

"Remus," she began, also whispering as if not to break the fragile peace between them. His heart stuttered dangerously at the sound of his name from her lips, but he shouldered forward, adamant to not let himself start dreaming again.

"Have you... been well?" Remus asked, first as a deflection before he took in the shadows on her face. It was like once he started, he couldn't stop. "Have you been eating properly and sleeping enough—"

"Remus," she said again, this time more urgently and softly. "I got your letters."

Remus paused, his dry throat clicking as he swallowed. "So you knew the notes were from me," he murmured, rubbing at the base of his neck. "Sorry, I thought they would help, but I'll stop if you're uncomfortable—"

"No, I mean, I got your letters," she said, reaching into her book bag.

To his horror, she pulled out a stack of parchment. Some of them had were heavily creased from being balled up, but someone had carefully straightened them and piled them up. "You weren't supposed to see those," he blurted, mortified now. "I threw those away."

"I know," she said, her gaze fixed on the letters. They weren't really letters at all — he had never been able to get past how to address her. He could catch glimpses of his chicken scratch handwriting. Y/N. Dove. My sweet girl. Cariad. My love. Cariad. Cariad. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. "Lily gave them to me. She also gave me this—" Carefully, Y/N pulled another familiar piece of parchment from her bag. This one was filled and messy with different colored inks across time.

Remus's mouth went dry. He didn't need to look at it to know what it was because he had it memorized.

Ketchup and pepper with eggs (prefers sunny-side up)

Three younger brothers

Likes mum's knitted sweater the most -> owl mum how she did it??

No favorite color, but it's probably green and yellow??

Needs a midday nap most days

Likes long skirts (or is it because I complimented it?)

Y/N is Sisyphus and the question of orange juice or apple juice is the rock

Peonies

Chocolate frogs (non-jumping)

Always needs hair ties -> ask Lily if Hogsmeade has any

Tea = 3 sugars, lots of milk (prefers juice though)

Give notes for Ancient Runes

Find out if there are hair tying charms

Jane Austen

Christmas ideas: skirts, cat, necklace, journal, hair ties

"You weren't supposed to see that," he said again dumbly.

"I know," she said again. A pause. "I believe you."

Remus's head snapped up to see that she was looking at him. He was dreaming again. He shook himself out of it. "No, you don't have to," he said hastily.

"No, Remus, I believe you that it was real," she said, her words choppy as she wrung her hands together. He wanted to reach out and cover her hand with his but instead he sat perfectly still. "But I— But I was so hurt by you," she whispered.

"I'm so sorry," he said with every fiber of his being. "I was afraid and selfish and I hurt you and there's no forgiving that."

"But Remus," she said, looking up at him finally. "I've missed you. I miss you so much and I don't know what to do—" Her voice cracked. Remus felt like something in him cracked open again.

"Oh, cariad," he breathed. "Can I—" He faltered, but miraculously, she picked up on what he meant. Wordlessly, she surged into his arms and for the first time in weeks, he felt like he could breathe again. "I'm so sorry, my sweet girl," he murmured into her hair as he breathed in her familiar scent. "If... if you'll have me again, can we start over?"

"Only if it's for real this time," she mumbled into his shoulder with a dry huff of a laugh as she clutched him back. God, he missed her laugh.

He pressed a kiss against her temple, the first of many. "It's real. Very real."

Remus prayed he wasn't dreaming anymore.

— — — — —

a/n: thanks for reading :^) would love to hear thoughts! my masterlist here

[theemporium]

idk if it's blurb material but remus' girlfriend being all quiet and shy until #theprank, and she just loses her absolute shit and tears them a new one for putting remus in that position but also is ultimately the one who helps bring them back together in the aftermath

thank you for requesting!🖤

.

“Babe—”

“No! Don’t you even try to ‘babe’ me right now, Sirius Black, or I will hex your ass back into the sixties, you hear me?”

“...yes, ma’am.”

No one had ever seen you so angry. No one even knew you could be angry. 

When Remus Lupin had told his friends that he was talking to a girl over a year ago, none of them quite expected to see you. Not for any bad reasons at all, it was more so just the fact that Remus himself could be quite quiet and shy, so they didn’t really expect a girl who was shy and quiet herself. 

But you and Remus just worked, and it was never a concern for them as long as their boy was happy. 

They had seen you in a variety of situations and moods. They had seen you on the days you were agitated and would snap at someone, only to profusely apologise less than thirty seconds later. They had seen you get frustrated to the point of tears, usually closer to exam season or assignment deadlines. 

But never once in the last year since you began dating Remus had they ever seen you this mad, and that was all thanks to Sirius’ great idea to prank Snape in one of the stupidest ways you could ever deem possible. 

The aftermath had not been pretty. Not for the boys, not for Remus, not for anyone involved and you had spent the better part of the last two weeks with your boyfriend, almost hiding away from the world. 

And now, you were doing what you needed to be done even if the rage inside you was still very much alive and burning.

“I didn’t mean to upset him,” Sirius spoke up eventually as he followed you down the empty corridor. You hadn’t said much to him or any of the boys in the last two weeks, so when you stormed into the Gryffindor common room and told them to follow you, they listened without question. “It was just meant to be—” 

You whirled around, the anger in your eyes clear and evident. “I don’t care what it was meant to be, Sirius. It was fucking stupid.”

James’ eyes widened at the curse word. “We know—”

“And yet you still did it,” you snapped back, your hands clenched into fists at your side. “You knew what you did and you still did it.”

Peter cleared his throat a little as though he was going to speak, but one look from you had him quickly taking a step back to hide behind Sirius. 

“I know what we did was wrong and stupid, trust me I know it’s wrong,” Sirius sighed, his jaw trembling a little as he tried to get the words out. “The guilt—”

“No,” you sneered, pointing your finger at him and shaking your head. “You don’t get to use that word. Not at all.” 

Sirius opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“You know very well how long it had taken Remus to let us in, let you in about his secret. You knew how big of a deal that was to him as he opened up to you about the very thing that made him the most vulnerable,” you gritted through clenched teeth, your finger poking his chest as you punctuated each point. “You knew how much he feared that he would become the monster that hurt him, that he would do to someone what was done to him and yet you still fucking went out of your way to put someone in that position—to put Remus in that position.” 

All three boys remained silent.

“That guilt would have killed him,” you croaked, your eyes tearing up as you let out a shaky breath. “But the thing is that no matter how mad and upset he is, I know what he needs is his friends. Even if they are the ones who made him feel this way.” 

“We want to be there for him,” James whispered.

“And you will be,” you said to him in a firm voice, glancing between the three boys. “You all will be, or so help me I will make you all regret the day you were born.”

“Thank you,” Sirius murmured but you shook your head.

“I’m doing this for Remus. Not you, Black. Now follow me.”

.

[moonstruckme]

Hi, what about a remus x reader, where they get lost in the forest after separating from their friends during a fight with death eaters and remus has to keep reader warm with his body heat.

Thanks for requesting lovely! This is sort of like my apocalypse au, except it's pre-relationship

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

Remus is limping something terrible. Each step looks more painful than the last, and yet he’s only quickened his pace since you’d first noticed it about an hour ago. 

You’ve been trying to think of what James and Sirius do when he gets like this. James would be kind but tenacious about it (“Everything alright, Moons? Hip bothering you? Why don’t we have a break? No, come on, we can’t have our best and brightest out of commission if something happens; they’ll kill us all if you’re distracted, Moony.”) whereas Sirius would probably just make something up (“Alright, the pebble in my shoe has worn me down. We’re stopping for the night.”), and you doubt either of those will work for you. 

You were really mostly friends with Sirius before this…this whole thing (it feels a touch dramatic to call it the end of the world, but it has certainly felt like the end of your world), but you’ve become necessarily closer with the other boys over the past few weeks. Needing to rely on one another for survival will do that to you. Still, you’re nowhere near penetrating the bond they have with each other. 

Without James or Sirius to help you, you decide to take your own, simpler approach. 

“Let’s stop.” 

Remus turns to look at you, bemusement warring with agitation on his face. 

“It’s going to be dark soon, and we won’t find them then,” you reason. “We should set up camp.” 

Some of the knee-jerk indignation in Remus’ expression cools, but he still seems frustrated when he says, “James has the tent.” 

You know that. “I know that,” you say, “but aren’t we better off trying to get some rest and starting again in the morning than running ourselves ragged looking for them all night?”

Remus sees the logic in it, you know he does, but his worry for your friends is fighting against his better judgment. You can understand that; you’ve been trying to squash a similar anxiety all day. You’d seen Sirius and James apparate away from the skirmish you’d gotten into with some death eaters just a second before you and Remus had apparated yourselves, so you know that they didn’t get captured or killed. Not there, at least. There’d been some miscommunication in where you were all apparating to, though, and you and Remus had found yourselves on a bluff with no clue where the other half of your band had ended up. 

You comfort yourself by thinking about how competent they are, that they’re too smart to die in the woods, and they’ve got all the supplies besides. James being the one to lug that heavy pack around has finally paid off; you’re sure they’re thinking about how you and Remus are managing without food or camping supplies, but you’d rather be worried about than worry. 

You let your pack slip from your shoulders and kneel to start going through it. Remus is stubborn, but he’s too nice to argue with you if you make it clear that you’ve already made the decision to stop. You’re right; he drops his own pack beside you a second later. You pretend not to hear his tiny exhale of relief as he lowers himself to the ground. 

You and Remus have been carrying the nearly useless, lighter stuff. Extra clothes, a tarp for when it rains, the line you all hang your clothes on if they get wet, a first aid kit. You dig to the bottom of your pack, hoping someone’s forgotten a bag of dried fruit or something down there, but no luck. 

“Maybe…” You look around you. “Maybe we use some of the clothes to pad the roots of that big tree, and then we could use the tarp to block the wind.”

Remus nods. “That’s a good idea,” he says, the vexation fading from his features along with the pain. “How about I work on the protection spells while you grab some brush for a fire?”

“Sounds good.” You give him a smile, setting a hand on his shoulder when he goes to stand up. “You can do it from there.” 

You don’t give him a chance to argue, moving into the woods to collect sticks and pieces of dried grass. When you return, the campsite is gone, and you force your breaths to even despite the feeling of wrongness as you push through the barrier Remus has put up. You find him setting up the tarp on the other side. He looks better already, you think contentedly, and you begin selecting the thickest clothes for your nest. 

The silence between you isn’t easy, exactly; it’s bogged down with fear for your friends and of the death eaters that had already tracked you down once before. Still, you like that Remus doesn’t feel the need to fill your silence with chatter. Before long the two of you are curled up atop your makeshift beds, breathing frigid puffs of air into the night. You’d given up on adding more brush to the fire awhile ago. Short of sleeping with your head two inches from the flames, there’s not much you can do to combat the biting cold. It’s all you can do to keep your teeth from chattering as you press your knees tightly to your chest, huddling under the extra jackets Remus had found to use as blankets. 

There’s no hope of sleeping when you’re trembling like this, but you pray Remus is better off. James always says he runs hot as a furnace, so you’re hoping his own body heat is keeping him warm beneath his layers. You’d hate to think of what the cold probably does to his stiff joints. 

“You awake?” Remus’ breath should be hot against your neck, but by the time it crosses the space between you it feels as frigid as everything else. 

You roll over to face him. “Y—yeah.” Your breaths are shudding, lips so cold you can hardly feel them moving. “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright,” he promises, the gentleness back in his voice now that he’s had a chance to rest. “Cold, though, so I imagine you must be even colder.”

You try to shrug, but movement only makes the chills worse, your body quivering violently against your will. 

Remus makes a soft pitying sound. “You want to share our coats?” 

He means your makeshift blankets. “I do—don’t want—to make you colder.” 

“That’s not how bodyheat works, love,” he says, sounding almost like he could laugh. He shuffles toward you, dragging his share of the spare clothes with him. “Come on.” 

You move towards him obediently. Remus brings you under the big coat he’s using for his torso, and you almost sigh at the warmth in there. You let your legs uncurl, getting as close to him as you can. 

“Oh.” It’s a surprised sort of coo, Remus’ arm wrapping around you to draw you closer. “Sweetheart, you’re freezing. Here, roll over.” 

He helps you turn with a hand at your hip, drawing you up against him. He really is emanating heat, warmth seeping from his front into your back and spreading from his arm around your waist to your entire midsection. Remus reaches over you, adjusting one of the jackets over your face, and you breathe hot air into the space, warming yourself. Your shivers die down as he begins to stroke slow, soothing circles about your navel. 

“Better?” he asks, once you’re nearly motionless against him. You hum, and you feel the quiet chuckle that reverberates through his chest. 

“Yeah,” you say, each exhale fanning hot against your face. “Thanks, Remus.” 

“I know what you were doing earlier,” he says, embarrassment quieting his voice. “I can look out for you too, you know.” 

You’re thinking of responding, but Remus’ body is so warm, and his hand on your stomach is so comforting, and you don’t get a chance.

[writing-in-the-impala]

Secret Smokes

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill), SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: Just over 1k

A/N:

This story takes place in a AU where Harry's parents are still alive so Remus Lupin still has all his friends and there is no war however that doesn't make him any less angsty. Everything else is pretty much the same as the canon universe! Enjoy!

MASTERLIST  | SERIES MASTER LIST | Part 1, Next Chapter

The wizarding world and the muggle world have always felt like two completely different worlds, maybe that's why Witches and Wizards who are muggle-born become outcasts. It's hard adjusting to a school but adjusting to a whole world at 11 is even harder. Even in your last year of Hogwarts you still didn't feel like you belonged, each summer going back to the muggle life that you have always known, working a summer job at a coffee shop and hanging out with muggles rather than wizards. You had friends in Hogwarts of course, some closer than others and even though it helped you feel more at home you knew that after Hogwarts you'd end up working a muggle job.

Maybe that's why entering your last year at Hogwarts didn't seem as intimidating because at the end of the day it didn't really matter what results you got in your N.E.W.T.S. Still in its own way you knew you'll miss the castle and the life you've lived in it. So your final train ride to Hogwarts felt a bit bittersweet. One thing didn't change, once again a new Defence against the dark arts teacher got introduced, this time one called Remus Lupin. He looked a lot kinder and nicer than the last one.

Your first week went by extremely quickly, quidditch practice hadn't started yet so you had more time to just hang out with your friends. All your lessons were easy so far as everyone was settling to being back. The new profesor was quickly becoming everyone's favourite due to his friendly nature, he seemed to befriend every student something no other profesor really did. You didn't really get to interact with him too much one-to-one during lessons as whenever he had free time the girls with a crush on him would jump onto the opportunity. You didn't really care about DADA as you wouldn't need it in the muggle world but you did understand why everyone was developing a crush, you had your own brewing for him.

It didn't take long for you to get home sick, homesick for the muggle world. Nothing really felt right to you, not even the food it just never tasted as good as what your mother would make, you missed your parents terribly it was a lot harder sending them owls than sending owls to wizard families, they didn't really grasp the concept. The twins could see that you were getting down again, they knew this happened every year after summer, and they've always tried to help lift your spirit. "Y/N we were thinking it was a good time to plan the first prank of the year what do you say?" Fred said. "Y/N is in her last year, she can't be participating in your silly games." Percy answered for you. "Who invited him?" George snapped back.

"Percy might be right I can't get in as much trouble as I did last year I don't want to get suspended, I'm on thin ice with old Minnie after the last prank we pulled before summer." You admitted, maybe you didn't care about your exam results but you didn't want to get suspended. The debate continued and you ended up agreeing to planning a prank that you may or may not help with. After dinner you decided to take a quick detour to the covered bridge, at the end of your fifth year you discovered it was empty in the evenings as it didn't lead to anywhere people would go at that time of night, it instantly became somewhere you would go for peace, and once you discovered smoking, it also got added to the list of secret smoking spots.

When you approached the middle of the bridge you saw a figure standing smoking a cigarette, you felt a bit gutted someone was using your spot but also excited at the idea of someone being so alike you. You approached them and they quickly put out the cigarette. "Don't worry man, I'm not a teacher I won't snitch." You claimed as you walked up to them before you could make out who it was.

"I know but I am." The figure replied, you were now close enough to make out that it was Professor Lupin. He was no longer leaning over the edge but standing straight with his hands in his pockets.

"I won't snitch if you won't?" You said pulling out your own packet of cigarettes. And his face turned to a gentle smile.

"I really shouldn't-" He protested. "Oh come on, you're new. This is normal." You preached. "Yeah Minerva and I do this all the time but don't tell her I told you." This got a laugh out of him.

"I may have believed you up until that point Y/N. But that's where you've lost me." He remembered your name and for some reason it made your heart skip for a second, he had so many students that he's met in one week and he still managed to memorise yours.

"Come on I'll give you a smoke if you don't tell anyone?" You reached out the pack to him "Camels?" He questioned while taking one. "You know them?" You took one out the packed for yourself before putting it away. "They're muggle smokes." He stated nonchalant, there wasn't any hate in those words which was rare around these halls. "I like them." You pulled out a lighter to light your cigarette while he snapped his fingers and it was instantly lit. "How did you do that? You instantly snapped back . "Do what?" He smiled while holding the cigarette in his mouth, he was attractive in the moon light. "Light it with a snap." You replicated his previous action. "It's a simple arson spell, just a small flame. I used wand less magic." He explained "If it's wand less why did you snap your fingers? Surely you could've just done it." You pressed. "Yes. You've got me there." He admitted. "So you were just trying to impress me?" Slipped out before you realised how those words could sound flirty, you barely knew the man. Truthfully if he wasn't your profesor and this was an interaction with a student you would be developing a stupid crush on them.

"You could say that." He said, with half a smile on his lips. "I'm the new profesor who you've just caught spending the evening by himself smoking, I don't want you to tell everyone I'm boring now I seem impressive."

"Or insecure." You shot back and he bit his lip and shook his head in disbelief at your words. He decided not to reply, instead went back to leaning over the bridge looking out into the darkness and smoking his cigarette and silence fell upon you both.

"I like the camel ones, just because the camel is cute." You broke the silence after a while, you felt bad for calling him insecure and wanted to kill the awkwardness. He laughed at your comment. "You know smokings bad for you? Even if the camel is cute." He said flicking the butt of his cigarette into the darkness. "I know." You quietly replied.

He checked his watch before standing up straight"Curfew has already started so don't stay out here too long as Snape is the one on duty today." He began to walk away. "Professor-" He turned around at your words. "This didn't happen right?" You questioned nervously. "What are camels?" He replied with a wink. "Have a good evening Y/N."

"You too Professor."

NEXT CHAPTER

[at0michips]

moonlit bonds pt. 1 - remus lupin

summary: after being transferred to Hogwarts, you find yourself the best group of friends you could ask. other than that, the best love you could imagine.

When you heard your mother saying you’d be moving to England it was like your whole world stopped. She had to quit her job after you were born because her and your father didn’t trust anyone else to take care of you and your sister, and the rest of the family didn't live close by. So eleven years after she started looking out for jobs again, now that both you and your sister were enrolled in the magical school of your country, your mother was able to go back to her career.

But after a year of searching and interviews, she didn’t receive any positive response and you could see the frustration on her face, even though she did her best not to show it to you and the rest of the family. That was until one day, when your mother came home after a meeting with an old friend of hers saying she had an opportunity at the Ministry of Magic, in London. Your father agreed, knowing it would be easy for him to find a job there since he never stopped working, and you and your sister knowing how much it meant to your mother, decided not to show your discontentment with having to move out of the country.

On your first day at your new school Hogwarts, your world stopped again after hearing you were sorted to Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw like your older sister. You went to the giant table, looking for an empty spot to sit down and mourn the fact you were going to be alone for the rest of the year. The looks on peoples faces weren't very amicable towards you, until your eyes met a smiley redhead and a brunette who called you to sit down by her side, so you did, assuming they would be nice to you.

And you were right, Lily and Marlene presented themselves and asked you questions non-stop during dinner. You told the girls about your country, the friends you left behind, and about your family. In no time, you were inseparable, always doing everything together. That's how you became friends with the marauders, as they called themselves.

James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were also inseparable and also the kindest persons to you at this school. Soon you were all a big group, always talking, laughing and helping each other when necessary. When the time to go home came, your parents were happy to see you and your sister were doing fine at the new school, but surprised at how excitedly you talked about your new friends and all the things you did together during the school year. You were always in contact with them through letters, anxious to go back to school and see everyone again.

It was during your fifth year things started to change, when you and your friends came back to the new school year everyone and everything looked different. All of you seemed more mature, with less of a baby face, taller and being honest, prettier. You weren’t the only one to notice these changes in your friends, by the middle of the year James was always looking for Lily and flirting with her at every possible moment. 

“Please Y/N, talk with her for me!” James pleaded for you to try and convince your friend to say yes to go on a date with him at hogsmeade. 

“James, I don't know what you want me to do. If you want to go out with her just ask! You've known each other for years now, the worst she can do is say no.”

“Tell her how pretty I look, how strong I've become…” you rolled your eyes at him “Don't worry, moony won’t be jealous about it.” he winked at you, your cheeks felt warm at him mentioning Remus all of a sudden.

“What do you mean?” James chuckled, noticing he had hit the right spot on you.

“C’mon, you are not so discreet about him. Admiring our dear friend during classes, at the lake. I may be stupid but I'm not that stupid, he's just too much into his own mind to notice you like him.” you were speechless, all this time you believed you were doing a good work hiding your feelings for your friend but turns out even James has noticed, you wondered who else did.

Remus grew taller through the years, he's always been pretty, but now with a more mature face he became really attractive. Now not only that, you've admired him for his brains, his effort at the studies and especially at the strength he had to have, to deal with the full moons.

“I will talk about you to her, but I can't promise anything!” you said trying to change the subject.

“Yes! Thank you thank you thank you!” James thanked you, holding carefully your head while he attacked you with several kisses on the cheek “And don’t worry, i won't tell anything to Moony, unless you want me to.” He winked at you, and excused himself for his quidditch training.

You tried brushing it off. It wasn't that big of a deal for you that James knew you had a thing for Remus, the Potter boy was like a brother to you and you trusted him with your life and secrets, but you werent gonna admit it for him, knowing he would tease the hell out you and not leave it until you were ninety. Decided to finish studying for your test at the end of the week, hours went by and when you noticed the sun was already setting, so you got up with all your stuff and went to the your shared dorm, finding Lily sprawled over her bed while reading a book and Marlene in front of a mirror, trying some new clothes her parents sent her this morning.

“Hey Y/N, my mom sent you a dress, is on your bed.” said Marlene as soon as she noticed your presence in the room. Her mother really liked you and Lily, so everytime she sent her something, you could definitely know there would be a version of it for you and Lily as well.

“I'll try it on later, thank her for me in your next letter please.” you walked over to your bed, taking a look at the beautiful summer dress in your favorite color and smiled at how mindful she was. 

After putting your belongings in their places, you laid by Lily's side while you two waited for Marlene to change into her regular clothes before the three of you walked side by side towards the main hall to eat dinner. The boys aren't there, which at first you found weird, but then it clicked. Tonight was a full moon, and as always they were with Remus taking care of him. The night went on, and soon everyone was back at their dorms. Lily went back to reading, it was something a teacher had recommended and she seemed to be really enjoying it, while Marlene went straight to bed and soon enough, you could hear her light snoring.

You looked at Lily, who was so entertained by her book that made you give up talking to her about James right now. Instead, you grabbed some shorts and a band T-shirt (your favorite set of pajamas) and headed to the bathroom, taking a long and warm shower. By the time you were back into your dorm, both the girls were already asleep, and you decided to do the same. 

It was 5am when you woke up, the sun was already bright in the sky which was unusual. You tried your best to go back to sleep but it seemed impossible, so you went to the next best thing you could think of doing that early in the morning, reading in front of the fireplace in the common room. You thought it would be only you for at least another hour, but soon you heard footsteps coming down the stairs, which revealed a very tired Remus. 

“Hey Rem, how are you feeling?” he seemed surprised to hear your voice, probably not expecting to see anyone this early at the common room.

“Honestly, like shit.” His answer came with a bit of humor. He sat down by your side in front of the fireplace and you could notice the new wounds on his face and arms. “Madam Pomfrey does a really great job at these, don’t you think?”.

“Oh she does know how to do her magic.” you laughed a bit with him “im sorry, i didn't mean to be staring its just… I get worried about…

“James.”

“What?”

“You get worried about James, right? That something bad might happen to him while him and the boys help me out at the full moon. I mean, I can't blame you for that, I would be worried too if my boyfriend was exposed to such danger.” there was a sadness in his voice.

“Boyfriend? Where did you get this idea from? James is just a friend, he doesn't like me and i… he's not the one I'm after.” Remus lowered his head, like he was avoiding your gaze.

“Earlier you were both here and I saw him kissing you all over the face” he said in a low voice “I didn't mean to be a creep and spy on you, I just heard his happy ass and saw the kisses. Gave up on studying with you and back up to the dorm until it was time to leave.”

“Dear Merlin, it would take me a whole new brain to deal with James as a boyfriend.” you face palmed yourself “James was asking for help with Lily, and i agreed to do so… he just got too excited while thanking me.”

He raised his head, looking at you again. You hoped it wasn’t just your silly brain playing with you, but Remus seemed relieved by your statement “I was gonna say I get worried about you, even though the boys help you out I wish there was something I could do to help you.” you took one of his hands on yours “Also, James is not my type, he looks nothing like you”.

Remus felt his heart beating faster at your statement. Your hand on his, your words, the warmth of the fire in front of him, it was all enough for him to grow the courage to carefully lift your chin up and look into your eyes, before closing the distance between you and him finally locking your lips together.

[theblack3stday]

BELONG TO ME — Remus Lupin | part one

Pairing: Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Summary: You always felt like you didn’t belong in your universe. One day, you find yourself in 1977 and you meet there the Marauders.

A/N💌: Hey! I was trying something different, I hope it’s not that bad😭 I wanted to do series, but if it’s bad I won’t continue it.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: depression, mentions of anger attacks and etc

You find yourself in a place of never-ending movement, you were still a teenager, but you've already lived through so many experiences that it's hard to keep track of it all. You've seen so many places and met so many people, yet none of them seem to feel like home. You felt like you're always on the move, and even when you do settle down for a while, it's hard to feel comfortable. Instead, you find yourself filled with frustration and sometimes anger, even at the smallest of things. You've always been judged harshly, and it's left you feeling insecure and doubting yourself. Your life has been a string of disappointments, and you find yourself feeling more and more like a burden to everyone around you. You were always the second choice or felt unloved, and even though that was never true, the feeling has persisted and eaten away at you. You find it hard to build true friendships or relationships because you feel like they will always leave you, so you often keep people at a distance and refuse to let them get close to you. Even though this isn't the case, the idea that it will always be the outcome has become so deeply ingrained in you. Maybe it was crazy, but it always felt like you didn’t belong in your universe. You have this sense of not belonging in this world, like you are somehow separate from it. Like you don't quite fit in. Perhaps you feel more at home somewhere other than here, or perhaps you just don't seem to gel with the people around you. Whatever the reason, it feels like you don't quite match this world around you and that makes the feeling of alienation and isolation even stronger.

In the last class of the day, the English teacher started talking about the existence of another universes and dimensions. You've always been interested in the concept of other universes and are fascinated by the idea that there could be other realities and dimensions beyond this one. Especially, you loved thinking that there is a universe where you are happy and don’t feel like you don’t belong there. This is the first time you've heard anyone talk about it in a school setting and are eagerly paying attention to what the teacher has to say.

"So as I was saying, the multiverse is the idea that there are endless universes out there. Each one has its own unique characteristics, with different versions of us and different laws of physics." he continued talking

"So you mean we aren't the only us out there?" one of your classmates asked him.

"That's the idea. The multiverse theory states that every decision you make spawns a new universe. So there's a universe where you took the other route home, one where you picked up a different book, and so on. Every possible choice creates new realities."

Everyone started whispering and discussing the idea. "It's kinda mind-blowing, huh? There's a whole multiverse out there, and all these different versions of you. And here's the crazy part: they're all real. Even tho' they're happening out there in other universes, they're just as real as our reality. So basically, you're co-existing with an infinite number of other you's right now." he chuckled to his students reaction.

As the teacher talked about the multiverse, it hit you – there might be other versions of yourself in different universes. The idea that somewhere out there, there's a version of you who feels happy and at home gave you a glimmer of hope. It was like a light at the end of the tunnel, suggesting that things could be different in another universe. You always thought of that.

You are walking down the streets of London, headed home from school. Everything seems normal and familiar as you make your way through the city. However, after a while, something feels odd. You feel like you're walking in circles and suddenly realize you don't recognize where you are anymore. You begin to panic slightly, but after a few moments of struggling, you spot a familiar landmark and know that you're on the right track again. You find your way back home, but the experience leaves you feeling unsettled and confused. You were still confused from your encounter in the streets and couldn't fully take in the differences in your house. When you try to open the door with your keys, they don't fit. After a few tries, a redhead girl opened the door. You feel stunned and disoriented as she stares at you with a confused look on her face.

"Hello, can I help you?" the redhead's bright emerald eyes were staring at you with a look of curiosity.

"Um, I think maybe there's been a mistake. I thought this was my house." you raise your eyebrow, baffled by the situation.

"I live here. This is definitely my house. Are you sure," the redhead asks, unsure of your answer.

"Yes, very sure. But the key doesn't fit, so..." you raise the possibility of a mix-up.

"Maybe you got it wrong? Check the number." the redhead suggests a simple explanation, unsure of this whole situation.

You look closer at the number and double-check to make sure you hadn't gotten it wrong. Suddenly, a wave of dread washes over you as you realize that’s the same number as your house. But how was that possible?

"I think maybe I did get it wrong. Sorry to bother you," you begin to back away, with dismay. You find yourself walking down the street, stunned by the situation and trying to process everything that has just happened. You're feeling a mix of disbelief, confusion, and fear, unsure of what has just happened or how you got here. You try to think back on what could have happened, but your mind is drawing a blank. Nothing makes sense and it feels like anything could have happened. A rush of adrenaline floods your body. As you walk down the street, you suddenly feel drawn to a date that has been written on a sign outside of a nearby store. Your eyes hone in on the date and your heart skips a beat as you read it. It says 1977. You couldn't believe your eyes and had to pause for a moment to process what you were seeing. Could it be possible? Was it really 1977? You stare at the date for what feels like minutes, but it only lasts a second. Your mind races with the possibilities. Were you somehow thrown back in time? Was this some sort of alternate reality? What was happening? Your curiosity was building and you found yourself wanting to explore more of this strange world. It felt surreal to see that it was 1977, and you were suddenly filled with wonder and curiosity. As you continue to stare at the date written on the store, you suddenly feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see the redhead who had previously spoken with you, standing behind you.

"Are you alright?" the redhead asks, with a look of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you reply, trying to mask the fact that you time-traveled or change your reality. “I’m sorry that i came to your house like that. I’m new here and my aunt lives in your street. You know all the houses looks exactly the same, which is creepy, and i was confused.” you lied, trying to not look so weird.

The redhead chuckles at your response, finding it amusing but also empathetic. It seems clear she understands the confusion and bewilderment that you must be feeling. "I can't say you aren't right," she laughs, finding the situation humorous yet also relatable. She continues to stare at you with a sympathetic smile “I’m Lily, by the way. Lily Evans.”

“Y/N Y/L/N.” you smiled at her.

Lily’s eyes light up as she mentions, “You know, we’re heading to the park later to meet up with some friends. Would you like to come with us? It’s always great to have new faces around.”

A mix of hesitation crosses your face as you contemplate the offer. You were homeless and in different place, whatever it is called.

“Okay you’re coming.” she grabbed your arm and started walking you with her.

“Actually-“ you tried to stop her.

“It’s gonna be fun, you’ll love them.”

As you walk together towards the park Lily, noticing your initial hesitation, leans in and whispers, “I’m really glad you came. Trust me, you’re going to love hanging out with this bunch.” Her genuine enthusiasm puts you at ease, and you start to feel a sense of camaraderie with this group from a different era.

Lily introduces you to her friends, The Marauders. As you walk together towards the park, Lily introduces you to her friends, the Marauders. She points to a dark-haired boy with mischievous eyes and a playful grin, calling him as Sirius. Next, she indicates a boy with messy dark hair with glasses as James, her boyfriend.

“Then there's Marlene and Mary." she continued. Mary smiled at you kindly. Marlene, was more playful, but she smiled at you too.

“And this is Y/N, guys.”

As she introduces you, a quiet and serious-looking boy with brown eyes and brown hair, an air of wisdom about him, came towards you. When he was close enough, you realised his scars on his face. You can't help but feel mesmerized by his beautiful eyes, as you notice the depth of intelligence and wisdom in his gaze.

"And this is Remus," Lily says, as the boy approaches. She introduces you formally. "This is Y/N, my new friend." The boy stares at you intensely, his dark eyes piercing into yours as he tries to understand who you are and what you're doing here. He stares for a few moments, considering his next words carefully. "Welcome," Remus finally says, his voice low and almost a whisper. "I'm Remus and it's....nice to meet you." He pauses, his deep, brown eyes studying you as he considers what else to say. It was a bit awkward, but nobody mind it, everyone went back talking. There was something different about Remus, you felt it.

[pascaloverx]

To Begin Again

ONE

Summary: You're a new teacher at a large and influential school. It's a risky step for you, as you've been running from your ex for almost two years. But when Dumbledore asks you to take on a class at the renowned Hogwarts, you can't refuse. However, your life as a newly arrived teacher won't be easy. Especially when the other teachers don't seem eager to make friends. Or rather, two teachers in particular: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Author's Note: Welcome, dear readers. Please leave your comments if you enjoy fanfiction. This fanfic takes place almost in the real world (with the addition of werewolves) and is not a wizarding fanfic. There will be some differences and changes in things from the Harry Potter story or other fanfics in the HP universe, but I promise to do my best writing this fanfic. There will be a love triangle coming in this fanfic.

AO3 LINK TWO

To flee is easier than to face your problems, than to confront the demons you left behind long ago. And your life has become an eternal escape. Not only moving from place to place, teaching from school to school, you were living a temporary life each time.  Until one day, a letter arrived, yes, a letter for you from London. It said that you were invited to teach temporarily at Hogwarts Academy. Dumbledore needed you. He was a great friend of your father. They even taught at the same time, but when you were born, your father and mother decided to move to the United States for some undisclosed reason. But Dumbledore's letter comes to you as a good excuse to cover your tracks. Restart.

"What a piece of crap. My cell phone is out of battery and I'm lost in the middle of nowhere." You mumble to yourself. No one is listening anyway. A beautiful full moon night is in front of you, lighting your way. Hogwarts, despite being influential, seems to be located in the middle of nowhere. You jump back when you hear a loud howl. Are there wolves near a school? Isn't that dangerous? 

You look at your phone wishing there was some battery left so you could call someone. Noticing that it might be dangerous, you walk towards what you think might be the path. One step hurriedly each time. But the howls get closer and closer. Until you see a sign saying that Hogwarts is nearby. But as soon as you look ahead you see a dog. I mean, something similar to a dog but bigger. Or will it be a very hairy man?

"Leave or I'll throw my suitcase at you. Whatever you are." You say threatening the furry creature with your suitcase. The creature seems to stare at you, but not understand you. At that moment you laugh at your foolishness. Now who in their right mind would try to reason with a creature that doesn't seem to reason?

"Listen, I don't want to hurt you. I'm against animal abuse and I've participated in campaigns to rescue many from the streets. But if you come any closer, I won't have any other choice." You speak and while the canine creature or something looks like it's ready to attack you. When the creature gets a little closer, you throw your suitcase at it. With all the strength and aim possible. And then you run. Run as fast as possible, hitting some trees along the way but maintaining your speed. You hear the creature's grunts of pain. Then everything is silent, you rest a little. Your legs hurt, your arms are sore and bruised. And then you hear a long howl that alerts you that the creature is coming. And then you run again, as fast as you can. 

"I can't believe I'm going to die here, like this." You mumble as you run. You're so distracted that you don't notice a stranger in front of you. Until you bump into him. Making you both fall.

"Fuck. Don't you watch where you're going?" The stranger speaks in a rude tone and you look at him in confusion.Isn't he noticing that you're running from death? Or is he not hearing the furry creature's noises?

"Shut up and follow me." You say, holding the stranger's hand and asking him to follow you. Why you helped him, you don't know. But you wouldn't be able to sleep with guilty conscience if he died. Strangely, he follows you a little further into the forest. But who designed a school that has a forest with ferocious animals on the loose? 

"Come here." The stranger pulls you close to a hiding place. Hideout that actually seems designed for this type of situation. It's a small hut covered in bushes. You think about saying something but the stranger covers your mouth and points outside. Your eyes follow the stranger's fingers and you observe the creature outside. From a distance this creature looks like something from another world, from a fantasy world. A werewolf better said.  The creature sniffs for a while and then disappears into the forest.

"You saw that?" You ask the stranger who is currently adjusting his somewhat long, silky, and slightly wavy hair. Sweat is dripping down his forehead, but he seems fine. I mean, he's attractive. I mean, what the hell are you thinking?

"I did see it, still got the ability to see after some lunatic knocked me down out of nowhere. And you're welcome, by the way." The man says as he rummages through a closet. You look at him indignantly. What do you mean you should be grateful to him?

"Sorry to wake you up from that illusion you're in, but it's you who should be thanking me. That creature was about to attack both of us, and I pulled you to come with me. So, Prince Charming, get off your imaginary horse and thank me yourself." You respond proudly, starting to feel the pain of the bruises you accumulated along the way. 

"If that's how you feel, would you prefer to go out into the forest right now and try your luck?" The man says mockingly, and you glare at him angrily. What an idiot.

"Look, I'm new around here, and I don't want to sound presumptuous, but you seem like a jerk. But unlike you, I'm going to appreciate your help. Thank you for helping me escape from the big hairy creature out there. Satisfied?" You say, swallowing your pride, and then you extend your hand to the stranger. He gives a smirk, almost charming. What a jerk.

"Very satisfied. But now that we're here, would you mind telling me your name? I find it strange to spend the night with someone whose name I don't even know." The man says, sitting on the wooden chair next to you. You, who are sitting in an armchair, look at him, feeling strange about the idea of spending the night together.

"My name is Y/N. And yours?" You speak to avoid seeming rude, but the truth is, you want to know the reason why you'll have to spend the night together.

"Sirius. Sirius Black." He pauses before continuing, "And before you wonder, we have to spend the night here because it's still out there. But don't worry, as soon as dawn breaks, I'll take you to Hogwarts." Sirius speaks, squeezing your hand firmly. You shake hands, and he looks at you as if trying to unravel all your secrets.

"How do you know I want to go to Hogwarts?" You ask, and he smiles as if he finds it amusing.

"Let's just say I have a good sixth sense. Now, I suggest you rest. Tomorrow will be quite a day for you." Sirius says, handing you a pillow and a blanket. You thank him softly as you watch him grab another pillow and lie down on the floor. It looks uncomfortable, but you're too tired to be polite and offer to sleep on the floor instead.

"Hey, Sirius. Thank you so much for today. I might not be alive without you." You say sweetly and sleepily as you settle into the armchair. Sirius lifts his head and looks in your direction. Wow, he's handsome.

"I echo your words. The only difference is that I'd be alive with or without you. But I'm grateful for the company. It tends to be pretty boring around here." Sirius replies before turning over to sleep. You try not to dwell too much on what he said and then let sleep finally take hold of you. When morning comes, Sirius seems a bit more grumpy than before. You deduce that he might not be a morning person. You both leave the cabin early and walk for a while towards Hogwarts. The journey feels almost endless, but when you finally arrive, you're dazzled. The beauty of the architecture almost makes it worth almost dying to get in here.

"Well, princess, you're delivered. I won't be able to come in with you because I need to go check on something, but I'm sure we'll see each other again soon. Until then, take care. I won't always be here to save you." Sirius says, kissing the palm of your hand before leaving without giving you a chance to respond. You find him presumptuous but decide to move on.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts, you observe children playing from side to side. A boy with glasses and dark hair is hitting another boy with white hair on the ground, which startles you. You immediately run towards them. As you approach, you manage to separate the two, pulling the dark-haired one off the light-haired one. They both seem a bit bruised, and as you separate them, you realize that the effort has caused you significant pain in your back.

"You shouldn't be fighting. At least I think so." You say with some difficulty as you feel the pain growing. It's strange that despite the dark-haired one being the aggressor, he seems to take you more seriously. Meanwhile, the light-haired one is smiling mockingly with his arms crossed.

"And who are you to say anything?" Asks the child, around eleven or twelve years old, with a bruised face but intact hair. He's the one with the light hair.

"You must be thick, Malfoy, if you didn't notice that she must be our new teacher. Or maybe I hit you too hard." The dark-haired boy responds, already angry again. He seems both fearless and temperamental.

"Stop. Both of you! I don't want to hear insults or nonsense in my presence. You, with the white hair, I am your new teacher, so I suggest you change your tone when speaking. And you, with the dark hair, violence is not a solution to anything, not even insolence. Both of you, go far away from each other and think about how to be better." You speak calmly but very seriously. Despite their reluctance, both boys stop fighting and move on.

You feel the pain in your back get worse and walk to the first place you see an adult. Until you find a room, which seems almost abandoned. There is no one inside. You observe the room that has some old books scattered around and appears to be someone's room. 

"Can I help you?" A male voice speaks from behind you. You turn around nervously thinking it's rude to enter someone else's room. 

"I need help..." You were going to say more, but you were startled when you noticed a mark on the face of the man in front of you. You figured he must be in pain.

"There's no need to be afraid. I got involved in a mess last night and was a little injured." The man says getting closer and you feel like you're being rude.

"I'm sorry, I imagine it hurts. I'm sorry for my rudeness." You say, getting a little closer and looking deep into the man's eyes. Eyes you felt you've seen before.

"No need to apologize. It really hurts. My name is Remus and this is my room." Remus speaks as you watch him and before you can say anything, you simply pass out. 

                       

 To be continued...

[hoaxriot]

FOR THE FIRST TIME

pairings. sirius black x fem!reader

synopsis. years had passed and your daughter was at hogwarts. your husband was out and had not showed himself yet.

notes. this is part two coney island! i also put a name for the kid but you can imagine any other name or gender i just chose this so it would be easier to write. this follows the scenes of the movie in the shrieking shack. idk why i wrote most of the scene but i felt it was important and some things are a bit different.

it had been years since your friends were murdered by one of your best friends and your husband was put in askaban for it. of course, years since you had given birth to your only kid, your daughter— celeste. she had become your entire world after she was born.

you continued to live with remus after because you still needed that help and he was glad to do it. his dream became true and he had became uncle moony.

celeste’s first words were moony and he was thrilled about it, soon after she turned one you moved back home but he was still around. life had started to become better as celeste grew up, everything was okay again. you still missed your friends dearly but after celeste you knew you could not stay in bed all day, she made you happy.

when your daughter started to grow you knew she was a wizard which made you happy. time came around where she could finally understand that other families had a father around and she didn’t.

the right age, you sat her down and explained to her in the best way possible with remus to help.

then it was time for celeste to go to hogwarts and you to become a professor. ever since then, life had been better. your daughter was sorted into gryffindor and she had found herself friends, she was happy so you were too. of course, one of her friends were harry potter which made you happy but he had not know you even though his father was your best friend.

just days before now, you had learned the truth about who killed your friends and who was framed because of remus lupin. that’s how you found yourself running into the whomping willow like you had done multiple times before.

your daughter was in there, you knew of it. you watched as remus shoved the door open and yell a spell. you ran in behind him to see your husband, sirius black on the floor with remus pointing his wand at him. you looked up to see your daughter standing beside hermione with fear struck in her eyes.

moving your eyes back to your husband who was being pulled up by remus into a hug, “i found him!” you heard sirius say causing a frown to come upon your lips. sirius had not noticed you standing behind remus.

“let’s kill him.” sirius said pulling away from the hug, you still stood frozen behind remus. too in shock, your husband was in front of you while your kid was a few feet away from you. sirius was older just like you, he has a beard and he still wore his askaban clothing.

hermione started to yell at remus causing him to turn towards the girl, then sirius saw you. it didn’t feel real the way you stood in front him, you looked the same as you did the night he got taken away. sirius has waited for this moment since then, he saw you look towards the kids. confused he sees you meeting eye contact with one that looked like him and you. was that—

he got distracted by remus and his anger. remus told him to wait after he started to yell.

“i did my waiting! twelve years of it… in askaban!” sirius yelled in desperation causing tears to evade your eyesight and your daughter to flinch.

remus gave his wand to sirius, “very well, kill him. but wait one more minute. harry has the right to know why.” the potter boy started to yell at sirius and remus blaming him for the death of his parents. he had every right to, he didn’t know. then professor snape came in. harry then yelled a spell and he went flying. celeste scrambled back against the wall causing you to look at her in sadness, this must’ve been so confusing for her.

then somehow sirius got rons rat from him and turned him back to what he truly was, peter pettigrew. they dragged him from the hole in the wall, pushing him into the middle of the room. sirius grabbed your hand and pushed you behind him a bit.

of course, peter tried to play nice in some way but he was failing miserably. he also failed at trying to get his way. now you were walking behind the granger girl with your daughter as she held onto your hand tightly. she always thought she would run straight into her father’s arms but neither of you did.

once you climbed out of the whomping willow, sirius put ron down and celeste dragged you away.

“mom, why didn’t you hug dad?” she questioned letting go of your hand facing you, you smiled sweetly at her.

“i wanted to, badly. things were a bit difficult down there.” the both of you laughed lightly. your smiled dropped when you saw sirius making his way to the two of you. celeste noticed your expression and before she could say or do anything you took off in a jog to jump into sirius’s arms.

sirius caught you with a large smile as he wrapped his arms around your waist, clinging onto, all the years he missed with you. you still had the same vanilla smell to you, the same grip you always had on him when the two of you hugged.

there was just one thing different— the kid watching you, the kid who immediately ran into your arms and stayed with you until now. you could feel sirius lose his grip on your jacket, you knew what he was looking at so you pulled away still holding onto his arm.

“c’mere.” you said to him as you pulled his arm towards celeste, you felt her nervousness so you smiled at her.

“sirius, this is celeste,” you saw his smile grow at the name, he had brought the name up one time when you two were talking about kids, “celeste, this is sirius… your father, as you know.” you spoke looking at her, she was quiet which scared sirius until she threw herself into him, very hardly causing him to let out a small ‘hmph.’

nonetheless, he hugged her back. you smiled at the interaction. he then heard her start to cry, your smile dropped a bit but you knew she was just like you and cried at overwhelming times. sirius then brought his hand to her head rubbing it comfortingly. at that action, she gripped onto him harder.

sirius opened his eyes to see your eyes filled with tears, he laughed a bit also knowing how you were, crying when you were happy. celeste heard him and pulled away to see you as a tear fell down your cheek.

“mum!” she laughed at you making you gasp playfully, “don’t mum me, you’re crying too.” you spoke pointing at her tear covered face. she then copied your playful gasp.

“don’t mind me, i just met my dad.” celeste joked causing sirius to laugh, she had humor just like him which made him smile as he laughed. he moved to stand beside you wrapping his arm around your waist.

“let’s go home,” he whispered into your ear but then you were distracted by each other again when remus started to transform causing the moment to be ruined.

that night was only a few nights ago, but now you were sitting in the noble house of black on the floor around the coffee table playing a game with celeste and sirius.

games had become something you and celeste did every night she was home, sirius was more than glad to be apart of that.

he finally had what he has always wanted, you— his wife. a kid who loved him and who he loved, giving her a life he had never once had. he was free and happy.

[fugamalefica]

Voldemort's humiliation of Bellatrix in The Dark Lord Ascending makes me very sad, but some people (especially Bellamort deniers) blow it out of proportion. It was very mild compared to how he treated everyone else. Even in this scene, the Malfoys were treated far worse. This is the worst thing we ever see him doing to Bellatrix and I would take this over his murder of Snape and his treatment of the Malfoys any day.

“Why do the Malfoys look so unhappy with their lot? Is my return, my rise to power, not the very thing they professed to desire for so many years?”

“Of course, my Lord,” said Lucius Malfoy. His hand shook as he wiped sweat from his upper lip. “We did desire it — we do.”

To Malfoy’s left, his wife made an odd, stiff nod, her eyes averted from Voldemort and the snake. To his right, his son, Draco, who had been gazing up at the inert body overhead, glanced quickly at Voldemort and away again, terrified to make eye contact.

“My Lord,” said a dark woman halfway down the table, her voice constricted with emotion, “it is an honour to have you here, in our family’s house. There can be no higher pleasure.”

The humiliation was mostly the Malfoys'. Voldemort was much nicer to Bellatrix and he only targeted her after she spoke out of turn to defend the Malfoys. She had no reason to do so as he wasn't targeting her, but by defending them she ended up being subject to the humiliation herself, probably because Voldemort disapproved of it. I doubt he would have targeted her if she hadn't said anything.

“No higher pleasure,” repeated Voldemort, his head tilted a little to one side as he considered Bellatrix. “That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you.”

Her face flooded with colour; her eyes welled with tears of delight.

“My Lord knows I speak nothing but the truth!”

Even though she also spoke for the Malfoys, he singled her out and made it clear that it meant a great deal only from her and not from them.

"No higher pleasure … even compared with the happy event that, I hear, has taken place in your family this week?”

She stared at him, her lips parted, evidently confused. “I don’t know what you mean, my Lord.”

“I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.”

Bringing up Andromeda and her daughter also hints that he disapproved of her defense, as they were technically still her family even though she had distanced herself from them. Perhaps he wanted to remind her of her loyalties.

“Enough,” said Voldemort, stroking the angry snake. “Enough.”

And the laughter died at once.

“Many of our oldest family trees become a little diseased over time,” he said as Bellatrix gazed at him, breathless and imploring. “You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy? Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest.”

"Yes, my Lord,” whispered Bellatrix, and her eyes swam with tears of gratitude again. “At the first chance!”

“You shall have it,” said Voldemort. “And in your family, so in the world … we shall cut away the canker that infects us until only those of the true blood remain.…”

His preference for Bellatrix was reinforced when he made it up to her but not to the Malfoys. He took back the humiliation, but only from her. The Malfoys were still disgraced and humiliated. After she expressed her eagerness to 'prune her family tree', he reassured her further, even referring to them as 'we', implying she had his favour.

The way I see it, he was not just likening the Tonkses to canker but also the Malfoys. Even though they were Pureblood, they were disgraced and although he didn't want her to kill them, he wanted her to stop defending them.

Sadly, she didn't need to defend them at all. She could have left Narcissa and her family to their fate, just like Narcissa did in the Battle of Hogwarts, except she left Bella to a far worse fate than mere humiliation.

[theoldsports]

yes.

remus lupin x reader. 2k words.

drunk behavior, drinking, smoking, marijuana, mentions of death, vaguely nsfw.

It was cold and wet out. It was usually cold and wet just outside of London, but especially tonight. All there was to be done was read and sit unmovingly still while the rain pattered against the windows agonizingly. Tonight, [Y/N] was immersed in the pages of a muggle novel a friend from home had mailed. An Issac Asimov novel. It was pretty dense. There was a stiff glass of whiskey on the coffee table next to a stack of magazines and some pamphlet she’d been handed on the street.

[Y/N] thoughts kept drifting away from the pages of her book to her plants outside. She would surely have to drain them well after this. What a pain. She had a sip of whiskey. Another sip was sure to follow. On the second sip, she thought about Remus Lupin.

Remus Lupin was beginning to become a problem.

Another thing [Y/N] had stationed on the coffee table was the telephone that few of her friends rung up on. Remus was one of them. And Remus had stopped calling. It wasn’t as if she were counting the days, but it surely had been near a month since Remus last called.

It wasn’t as if he had to call over either. He didn’t most summers they were growing up. But it was different now because the world was different now. It was courtesy to call so you knew who was still alive. His name and jagged, scraggly face hadn’t appeared in any obituaries. [Y/N] was sad to consider that these were the sort of days where you had to check the obituaries.

She wouldn’t have had to check the obituaries if he would call.

Maybe she had done something wrong that made Remus not want to call. There was no particular event she could remember. She couldn’t remember the last time she’s seen him so why recall the last interaction. She downed the rest of the glass of whiskey next to the phone on the coffee table and abandoned the book with it too. There was no focusing now. There was only the steady rain against the windows to serve as a metronome for listing off her own shortcomings.

Ultimately, it wasn’t as if Remus had to call because it wasn’t like he was hers, or something. He was a friend.

But didn’t friends call?

There was a particularly huge crack of thunder. [Y/N] was not a fan of that.

Then there was a pounding knock at the door. The kind of knock one hears before the SWAT team swings in through the windows in films. Every hair on her body stood up.

She thought about the obituaries.

[Y/N] procured her wand and attempted to walk silently towards the door (with a charmed chain and a deadbolt). She leaned into the peephole.

And then undid the chains and deadbolts in a flash.

“RJ?”

Sure enough, Remus John “RJ” Lupin looked back at her, bruised and scabbed more than he normally was.

“Hi. I have to tell you something.” He slurred.

With a wand still extended, [Y/N] still had something to do. “RJ, tell me the last time you called me.”

Remus’s big green eyes widened and rolled back as he tried to remember. The only thing he could think about was how he had promised to call.

But he hadn’t.

His wet hair hung around his eyes, under which bruises were beginning to form and swell. His eyes were clear as the eyes of an intoxicated man could be, though. Remus’s thick Welsh accent always got thicker when he was drinking and he muttered:

“I don’t know, [Y/N]. I last saw you three weeks ago. You smoked with me behind Three Broomsticks. But I’m thinking I was probably supposed to’ve called you at least a week ago, hm?”

[Y/N] lowered her wand. The Three Broomsticks. That was when she last saw the tall boy. How could she have forgotten? He’d leaned over and kissed her right on the mouth between puffs on a joint. And he’d said I’ll call you next week and we can go for drinks. If you’ll have me. “Alright, get in.” So much for memorable.

She grabbed Lupin by his jacket collar and pulled him in. He was a little unsteady on his feet. She helped the man discard his shabby wet coat to the coat rack beside the door. He’d once said it would be a useless purchase. Fuck him. “I thought you died,” she smirked. [Y/N] stepped back to look at him properly.

Aside from his old, alluring scars he hated so much, there was a black eye beginning to form, a split lip, and a handprint on his neck. That was just what was visible. Merlin…

“You look—“

“Ah, ah. You should see the other guy.”

She hit him hard on the arm. Remus winced with an ‘oi, watch it.’

“‘The bloody hell happened to you, RJ?”

There was a second of silence. “Uh. You did, sort of. But listen, I have to—.”

“Me?”

She had been assuming this was something he’d done to himself, out of his own control as always. But he wouldn’t normally show up on her doorstep after a full moon gone awry. She didn’t think it had even been a full moon.

“I mean. It was my fault. You didn’t do anything. I did. Obviously,” Remus sighed. “Jeez. Fuck me, do you mind if I smoke in ‘ere?”

“‘Course not,” [Y/N] moved toward the kitchen counter and pulled herself up on it. “You can have a smoke after you come over here and let me clean you off. Rem, really.”

Remus already had a cigarette halfway out of the pack and his shirt sleeves rolled up. He rolled his eyes, but left the pack on the counter as he limped over. Remus look like he hurt everywhere. The state of his sleeves revealed some unfortunate bruising on his knuckles and hands. His dirty boots lead him across the carpet to the tile of the flat kitchenette where [Y/N] sat. His eyes were ringed red, but his brow still seemed determined.

“So you got into a fight the muggle way with some bloke? You went to a muggle bar or something?”

Remus couldn’t meet [Y/N]’s eyes while she soaked a rag in warm tapwater and started cleaning off his cuts and nicks.

“I went to the Leaky Cauldron with James. We just wanted a few drinks. I promised I’d speak with him about… But I also wanted to ask him his opinion on… But, shit, see, I—“

“You smoke a lot tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“You can barely string a sentence together. You’re getting muck on my tile. You smell like pot.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it, sweetheart.” He took a step closer and pressed his thighs on the counter that separated them.

[Y/N] lowered the rag. This was more unusual still. Remus wasn’t a particularly direct person. And he didn’t do petnames. He only acted in a vaguely meaningful way when he was stoned. And when sunrise came, he would clam up and dodge phone calls again. Remus would be gone in a cloud of cigarette smoke before [Y/N] even woke up.

“What’s your problem, Remus,” she said. Remus raised an eyebrow. She only ever called him RJ, really. “You’re my best friend, you like me, you ignore me and then you show up at,” she glanced at her watch. “Almost one in the morning so I can patch you up because you got into a scuffle with some guy that doesn’t like Velvet Underground, or because Sirius needed backup. Or what. I can’t keep doing this.”

Remus sighed and put his hands on either side of her on the counter. He dropped the act as he leaned his battered body back and away from [Y/N]. “Remember Rosier?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

“He was at the Cauldron tonight. And I was talking about how the fuck I’m supposed to try to land you, and Rosier… He comes over to me and James. He wouldn’t shut up about you. Your looks, blood-status, your… body,” Remus lifted his gaze to meet [Y/N]’s. Carnal. “I couldn’t take it. I wanted to murder him.”

[Y/N] halved a smirk and lifted the rag to his face again. “I’m sure you did.” She said has he pushed her hand away.

“[Y/N], I’m not going to just sit there and let some posh tosser talk about the girl I’ve wanted since I was fifteen. I just… I felt like I blacked out and then Prongs was pulling me off and… And I walked here.”

“You’re crossed. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Would you fuckin’ listen to me!” Remus shouted. “Stop deflecting. I’m the one that deflects. Please. I’m tryna tell you that I met up with my childhood best mate because I wanted to ask him for some help. Because I’ve been trying to figure out how to take you out for years and I get too scared, or too stoned, or in my head or not enough. Whatever. Please. I’m talking too much.”

[Y/N] eyebrows furrowed with uncertainty. “Please what, RJ?”

“Please let me kiss you proper.”

“And then what?”

“I…”

[Y/N] sighed. Remus always put up this front of emotionlessness. Cool and breezy. He was the unreadable one in his miserable band of brothers in school and he still was. “I’m sorry, lemme just patch you up and you can take the floo.”

“No. Let me stay here. And let me keep coming back. And… and I dunno, let me take care of you. Take you to the cinema. And buy you tickets to the Spinning Goblins show you were talking about. Listen to you complain about that asshole from the shop. Oh, and go to work parties with you. And, like, share an ashtray with you. All the normal stuff. I’ve wanted that since I was a kid. Don’t make me wait any longer. It’s my own fault I’ve waited so long. If you’ll have me.”

“Will you be here when I wake up? Or are you just gonna keep dodging me?”

Remus blinked. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then kiss me proper.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” [Y/N] rolled her eyes and grabbed Remus’s shirt collar that peered out from underneath his jumper and pulled his lips onto her own. He was damp and tasted strongly of cigarettes, marijuana and the pints and firewhiskey he’d downed. But the smell of his shampoo and parchment lingered. He always smelled of old parchment and his fingers were always stained with ink. [Y/N] had always wondered what he was writing all the time.

Those same bruised and ink-stained fingers came around the back of [Y/N] neck to tangle in her hair, holding her impossibly tighter. Remus’s grip was vice-like and permanent. His mouth was pressed against hers so completely that they would be one person if he were any closer. He wanted to prove how badly he wanted this and that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“‘Want you.” He muttered against the lips that were growing to be as bruised as his.

“Why, Mr. Lupin...”

Remus kissed down her neck desperately slow. “No, shut it. Not even like… I just… want you. All of you,” he murmured between kisses. “I want you to be mine. Or the other way ‘round. For real.”

[Y/N] let out a moan as his lips met her collarbone. Her fingers slid down his spine. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. You want me to say it again?”

“Yes.” She felt the word vibrate against her chest.

“YES.”

“Thank fuck for that.”

As Remus kissed his way across the plane of her chest back to her mouth, she stopped him before one last kiss. “Come on, dry clothes and a smoke. Then bed. We’ve got a long day tomorrow?”

“That so?”

[Y/N] laughed. Merlin, he loved that sound. Clear as church bells with a gentle wheeze. “Yes.”

“What’s on the agenda?” He smiled dumbly.

“Making up for lost time, stupid… Just… Say yes.”

[velvetcloxds]

dilf!remus lupin reaction to chubby!reader getting a wrist tattoo which is kinda related to him?

TO THE MOON AND TO SATURN | R.L.

word count: 0.8k

warnings: age gap, chubby reader not specified, cheeseee

Remus had a hard day, those weren’t as rare as they used to be, exam season coming into full swing leaving the poor professor drained, in desperate need of sleep as he sat back on his sofa sipping at the last sip of his red wine staring tiredly at the tests scattered over the coffee table. You, however, were in a much different mood, excitedly pulling your sleeve over your wrist. You’d never been one to do something spontaneous, happy with following a set plan for every aspect of your life until you’d met Remus, the most unexpected thing you’d ever allowed yourself to indulge in was losing him. You’d heard the stories of him, the rumours of a wild teen taking Hogwarts by storm and managing to surprise everyone with his genius in the process, and though you’d never known that version of him, happily loving the more mature and wise version you’d gotten the honour of falling in love despite your best intentions not to, you’d have a soft spot for your Moony and you always wanted to show him that.

You weren’t surprised to hear the soft jazz that filled the little muggle apartment the two of you shared, the music had quickly become your own reminder of home when he had to stay at Hogwarts during the full terms. You were even less surprised to find him in the living room, barely made it out of his suit, tie hanging undone around his neck as he offered you the purest smile despite sleep tugging it down.

“Darling,” Remus breathed with the gentlest tone, enough to pull you right to him and you gave in quickly, kicking off your shoes in the process of walking to him, sighing in pure delight as you fell into his lap. Your hand moved to their own accord as you began brushing his hair out of his face, smiling fondly at the sight of him, so perfect despite the state of him and somehow all yours.

“You should be in bed,” you reprimanded, and he hummed, half in agreement, half in regret that he couldn’t go to bed yet even if he wanted to. It was silly, really, the way you’d dance this little dance every night, yet every time you looked at him and held him like this it felt new, a little blessing you received anew each day. “But I’m glad you aren’t,” you didn’t think he’d perk up so quickly at that, daring hands moving lower down your back as you shifted. “I did something.”

“I’m going to need more than that, trouble,” you smiled, biting back a giggle at his curious gaze trying desperately to see if he missed a new haircut or new clothes, you were always very excited to show him either of those, but you seemed too familiar by the looks of it. You allowed the giggle to escape, excitedly presenting him your wrist, the tattoo was fresh, painful still and you were sure in an hour you’d absolutely hate yourself for the spontaneity, but Remus was smiling through furrowed brows, he was excited because you were excited but the more that he looked at it the less he knew what to do with his face.

“It’s Saturn,” you explained, not explaining much in the process but still it was a start, his fingers were gentle as they took hold of you, thumb hovering over the design tracing it in the air and even though he didn’t touch you it still earned a shiver through your body. “I love you to the moon and to Saturn,” seemed simple enough but his thumb paused over the little paw prints that spread through the fine linework, he knew it was for him, he didn’t have to think too hard to note that, but he couldn’t believe it. “My moony,” you whispered, and he couldn’t kiss you fast enough, smiling against your lips when you whispered your little question, asking him if he liked it, the silliest question in the world.

“My star,” he teased, and his grip was strong as it cupped your warm cheeks, your smile was poisonous, killing him slowly as he tried to capture it into his memory. “It’s beautiful, you’re beautiful,” he was careless in stealing another kiss, not surprised when you leaned into it, into him, gentle hands traveling up his crinkled button-down shirt.

“I got it for you,” you mumbled and looked down to the little gesture, happy now with the looks of it, happy that he likes it.

“Yeah?” his tone was low, playful really despite how much he appreciated every bit of your sweet honour to him, you were shy, the biggest thing someone has ever done for him and you’re shy and he wanted to see how far he could push it. “Now why would you do that?”

“So that I can always have you with me.”

“Always, huh,” he flipped you over, smiling as your eyes daringly took in every bit of him. “I love you,” and he did, more than simple words could tell you but you knew, you felt it. “To Saturn,” he added and gently brought your hand up to look at the declaration of love painted into your skin for all eternity.

“To Saturn,” you breathed and he placed a featherlike kiss on the transparent band-aid covering the art of your love.

[laremsworld]

Harry Potter characters and their dream professions, if Voldemort didn‘t exist (and they survived):

- Regulus Black: This man was all about prestige and wealth. He‘d either be high in the ministry and dream of becoming the minister one day or he‘d be a big name in Gringotts.

- Sirius Black: The best auror in the UK (maybe even in the world). I mean this guy stayed in prison for 12 years, because he believed he deserved it and then managed to break out within 24 hours just because he needed to capture the real villain in his origin story.

- Remus Lupin. I mean, come on. He‘s the best DADA Teacher anyone can ask for.

- James Potter: James is the most caring person in the world. He‘d be a devoted healer. After working in the hospital for some years, he‘d probably want to be involved in the research department. If anyone can find a cure for werewolfe-bites, it‘s James Fleamont Potter.

- Lily Potter: I feel like motherhood (and the fact that James is richy-rich) would hold her from chasing a career right away. She wouldn‘t feel comfortable with just being a trophy wife, either though (yes, I am looking at you, Narcissa). I feel like Lily, who loved potions more than any subject, would regularly invent new potions. Something to cure Harry‘s coughs overnight here, some painkillers there… James would someday suggest to sell these potions. Lily would laugh at first but James would go „no, for real. I own Sleekeazy‘s Hair Potion. We can sell new potions under our brand.“ and Lily would be like „all these years this was an option??“

- Severus Snape: Rowling already confirmed that Snape wouldn‘t become a spy if Lily hadn‘t died. So there‘s no way that Snape would be the potions professor in this scenario. I honestly think Snape would just end up with a semi-good paid job in the ministry. Not because he‘s not good enough to make a career for himself, just because he‘s too self-loathing to do it.

[shadowbriar]

Regulus Black, Remus Lupin - The Star to Your Moon

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Reader x Remus Lupin Word Count : 1.3k Warning : An epilogue of a series I'm trying to craft. Synopsis : As their ship begins to sink, she wonders if she could love the moon as much as she loves the star. Notes : Post no 7 for my Year Anniversary Celebration. If you'd like to be tagged for the next chapters, please fill the form here! If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Taglist: @jsjcue @coffeehurricanes @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kaz-mf-brekker @sofiacblair @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @ineedmentalhelp123

The wind was blowing gently, making the grass and flowers around them dance softly to nature’s ballad. The sun was kind today. Its warmth showering them without burning their irises when they look up to the sky. Birds sing along as they fly, becoming the background singers for their beautiful setting. This picnic was perfect.

Regulus has his head resting on her lap. His eyes were closed, darkness getting lighter whenever the sunlight hits his closed eyelids but it was nothing of displeasure. He listens to the quietness and bustling sound of his surroundings attentively. He missed such serenity.

“You’ve been more quiet lately,” She notes, her fingers playing with the curls of his hair “A sickle for your thought?”

Regulus let out a soft sigh. His eyes were still closed, trying to hold on to the moment as long as he could. He loves the serene atmosphere that she always brought him. How he could hear all the noise dampen whenever he sees her or how the world seems to be at pause whenever their skin touches. Regulus prays that he could find a spell or incantation to stop time altogether. Especially since a certain threat is looming around, menacing to rob him of such luxury.

“You know you can talk to me about anything.” She continues gently.

“I know,” He replies, eyes fluttering to see her “But sometimes I only want to listen to you. Not just your words, but your laughter, your breathing, everything. I want to record it all in my head.”

She smiles, leaning to kiss his forehead, “What a sappy little man you are, Regulus Black.”

“Only for you.”

Indeed, only for her.

Nothing could have prepared him when the universe let his eyes catch her years ago at Kings Cross Station. He had always thought himself undeserving of love, too distant and fractured to ever be touched by such kindness, yet he was proven wrong the moment she greets him. He knew that he was bound for life with her. That he’s willingly given up his heart to her palms, not caring if she would take it and hold it gently or stomp it to the ground. All he knew was that he was hers from day one.

“I learned something over the break.” Regulus says excitedly as he sits up, picking the little daisies around them and meddling with it.

“What are you doing?” She asks with an amused laughter, resting her chin to his shoulder.

She watches him with a grin. His fingers were busy folding and twisting the stem of the small flowers, still in complete silence. His brows were furrowed, complete determination to finish the task he’s trying to do at the moment. After a few minutes a small ring of flowers was made. His proud smile decorated his face as he brought it up for her to see.

“May I?” He asks.

She nods, giving him her right hand.

Regulus slipped the ring on her ring finger. It was slightly too big but the happy smile on her face overthrew every insecurity he had about the crooked ring. He looks back to her finger, kissing the back of her hand as if he's trying to seal something.

“I now pronounce you, Husband and Wife,” She jokes “You may kiss the Bride.”

He chuckles, placing his right hand to cup her cheeks, his left still holding her hand, “You’re silly.”

“Only for you.” She returned his words “Now are you going to kiss the Bride, or—,”

Her words we cut as he leans in. They both were smiling in between each peck. Silent ‘I love you’s’ exchanged from the tender gesture. Their heart was filled with love, head blissful in ecstasy, completely unaware of the darkness brewing around them.

—-

The first day back to Hogwarts has been brilliant so far. Ending the day with her prefect duty, she recalls the delightful moment spent with her lover earlier. The pieces of flowers she tucked on his hair, the flower ring he gave that now sits on her bedside table, the memory of his loving gaze, everything was so perfect.

It would be an understatement to say that she loves him. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do, nothing she wouldn’t sacrifice whenever Regulus is in the equation. He is her anchor, her star, her everything. There would be no her if there was no Regulus.

Her walk was coming to a halt as she noticed the commotion happening a few metres in front of her. It was dark, the limited light her wand gave did not do much to help her assess the matter happening but she recognises the man standing closest to her. His back was facing her, acting as if he was on guard to watch whatever mischief his friends were doing.

“Lupin,” She calls, amused.

She could hear the faint ruckus happening behind the pillar a few metres behind him. She could recognise whose voice one of them belongs to. It’s not practically hard to decipher who’s responsible behind such tumult when it comes to Lupin.

“Hello, there.” Remus greets as he turns to face her, suppressing his stunned expression with a smile “Nice patrol so far?”

“You could say that,” She replies. Her hands are now folded to her chest, still smiling. She turns to the suspicious pillar, calling them out “I know you’re there, Sirius. Supposed Potter and Pettigrew are with you too, hm?”

Silence.

“Come on, you can come out.” She says again “Don’t make me go there and hex you three.”

Sirius walks out the pillar sheepishly. He opens his arm wide, looking as if he was delighted to see her, “Darling, hello! What a pleasant surprise!”

James and Peter follow behind him. The two of them waved and smiled at her awkwardly.

She averts her gaze back to Remus, her brows raised, “You’re not really condoning them for their mischief now, are you Lupin? That wouldn’t be a good look for a prefect, would it?”

“Oh no, I wasn’t.” Remus denies, shoving his arms into his pockets “I don’t even know these kids. Never seen them my entire life.”

She bites down a smile. The gentle gaze Remus has was hypnotising. That kind smile and soft tone he offered were making her feel safe. They haven’t truly been friends. The most interaction they’ve done would be passing by each other during their night watches, just like the situation unravelling at the moment, minus the three rascals behind him, of course.

“Give us some lenient, would you, Love?” Sirius begs “This would be the first and last encounter of us, I promise.”

She squints her eyes, pretending to take her time to make a decision. She knew for certain that this wouldn’t be the last time she would catch them red handed. Giving them a pass now would only make her one of their future accomplice but she was in a good mood today. One pass shouldn’t hurt.

“One time,” She says firmly, her finger pointing at Sirius before turning back to Remus “And you’ll continue my patrol for the rest of the castle, Lupin.”

“Deal,” Remus grins, offering his hand “And please, call me Remus.”

She takes his hand, smiling at his kind gesture.

With one last warning look at Sirius, she turns her heel and walks away. The light of her wand was getting fainter with each step she took and Remus knew he shouldn’t have had his eyes glued on her for too long, but there was just something about her he couldn’t shake off. The way her eyes sparkle and how she seems to be collected at all times. Calm and firm but still kind and understanding at the same time. Something Remus always admires in someone.

At least, that’s the excuse he’s giving to himself.

[roalinda]

☆Feedback Fest 2024☆

In honour of International Fanworks day on 15 Febraury ( you can find more info about it HERE by @transformativeworks ) I have decided to make a rec list as well. We should all support our creators with feedback and sharing after all. 😊

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Since this is my Harry Potter side blog, all the fics in my rec list are from Harry Potter.

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On Fire, But We can't feel a thing by @benjamin-ovich

Pairing: Sirius Black/James Potter

Summary: Sirius feels oddly faint, feels like his whole body has turned into vapour and he could just be blown away into nothingness at any moment. Nothing about this has felt real, not when Remus’ head popped into his fireplace after a whole year and not now that he’s telling him that James, his James, won’t remember who he is.

Rating: E

Words: 100, 790 ( In-progress )

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Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me by @gracelesslady23

pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Summary: Recently exonerated and looking for a new start, Sirius buys a flat to live in with his godson. However, it soon becomes clear they are not alone in the flat when Sirius begins receiving love messages on the mirrors and walls.

Sirius knows who he hopes is behind the messages, but he couldn’t possibly be right… or could he?

Rating: M

Words: 23,113 ( complete )

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Nom De Plume by @annabtg

Pairing: James Potter/Lily Evans

Summary: James Potter, renowned potioneer, has a secret side career as an erotica writer under the pen name of Scarlett Goldwing. When his latest book starts to take off, and Scarlett is asked to promote it at a public event, he has no other option but to recruit his colleague Lily Evans to pretend to be Scarlett. The only problem is, Lily Evans hates his guts… or does she?

Rating: E

Words: 46, 486 ( complete )

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Supernova by @siriuslyasorceress

pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Summary:

From the outside, it may look like James Potter has everything one needs to be happy. An abundance of talent, a prestigious job, a beautiful wife, an adorable child. So why can’t he let go of the past? Why does he still see silver eyes and a crooked smile when he dreams at night?

It's been six years. Six years since Sirius Black left England. He practically ran away from the country and hasn’t stopped running since. When he has to return to parts of his old life, he tries his best not to dwell on the past.

What luck then, that the past is one of the first people he runs into.

- “What, so the French sent a cursed Curse-breaker?”

There is humour in James’ voice, signalling that this isn’t meant to insult, merely falling into the way they always used to talk to each other. It’s almost too easy reciprocate, to answer with banter that still feels too familiar and pulls at Sirius to be released. He bites his tongue.

“I can assure you, cursed or not, I am still excellent at my job, Auror Potter,” he says pointedly.

Rating: M

Words: 73,120 ( in-progress )

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CRuSH by @heartofspells

Pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Summary: After travelling around the world as a Healer for four years, Sirius thinks it should be simple to return home to aid his best friend through his divorce. James needs him, and Sirius misses his family. With their history locked away inside dorm room beds and dark corners of a castle once called home, Sirius is determined to move forward, convinced James barely remembers it at all. Attempting to reestablish the friendship they'd always had, Sirius is set on pretending it never happened, at least until he realizes the years away haven't changed the weight of the powerful spell James holds over him.

rating: E

Words: 89, 578 ( in-progress )

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The exchange principle by @charmsandtealeaves

pairing: James Potter/Lily Evans

Summary: Partnering for Advanced Potions has some unexpected side effects when Lily and James wake up in the wrong body.

Rating: M

words: 8,788 ( complete )

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All monsters are human by ColorfulStabwound

Pairing: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter

Summary: Teddy has always belonged to James, everyone knows that.

Rating: M

Words: 15, 274 ( complete)

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Out of my head ( when you are not around ) by quoichiant

Pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Summary:

Things are not particularly funny, but when he told Remus that he was going to get over James Potter -- for real this time -- Remus laughed. Because to everybody else, Sirius being in love with James is a fact of the universe.

The Earth turns, the sun rises, and James and Sirius come as a pair. Or Sirius is in love with his best friend, James is late to the party, and Peter is terrible at keeping secrets.

Rating: E

Words: 38, 038 ( In-progress )

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Line without a hook by @strugglequill

Pairing: James Potter/Sirius Black

Summary:

Four weeks, two days, and seven hours have passed since James hugged Sirius goodbye on the Hogwarts Express, a long summer of separation stretching ahead of them. With all of their other methods of contact blocked by Sirius's controlling parents, James shifts from disappointment to panic as a month passes with only silence in their two-way mirrors. Their separation just might kill James - or someone else.

After breaking into Number 12 Grimmauld Place with some hard-won cursebreaking and stolen Floo Powder, James wasn't expecting Sirius to ask him to fulfill a birth prophecy: rebirthing the House of stars with Black blood.

Song fic inspired by "Line Without a Hook" by Ricky Montgomery.

Rating: E

Words: 12, 189 ( complete)

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The host by Mothboss

Relationship: Spirit of Severus Snape and James Sirius Potter

Summary: James Sirius Potter was prepared right out of the gate to follow in the footsteps of his namesakes. The only thing that could likely have deterred him would have to have been one hell of a distraction.

Rating: G

Words: 9,528 ( complete)

[imkylotrash]

I used to get lost in your eyes

Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader (first person).

My hands are shaking. Any minute now, he'll come walking through that door and I'll have to break both of our hearts. Any minute now, I will have my last moment with him, and my bones are threatening to break under the weight of that knowledge. Keys rattle on the other side of the door, and I take a deep breath to stabilize my thundering heart. It does not do the trick.

"Hey, how was..." His voice trails off when he sees my packed bags by the door. There's no reason to try and hide the tears making their way down my cheeks. He'll know soon enough what will happen tonight.

"We need to talk." The four worst words in a relationship. My voice remains steady despite the cold making a home in my veins.

"What's going on?" He still has one foot out in the hallway as if not fully entering the room will change the outcome of tonight. It won't.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep waiting for you to let me in, because I don't think you'll ever be ready. And I definitely can't continue to be shut out when you're struggling. It hurts too much." I feel my bottom lip quiver as I try to reel back some of the feelings threatening to rip their way out of my heart. For so long, I've managed to keep them contained, but I can't do it anymore. I am tired.

"Please, don't. You know I've been working on this. You know I'm trying to-to-I don't want to lose you." Finally, he enters the room to walk over to me and get on his knees in front of me. For once, I can read him as an open book. The fear of losing me, the broken heart already demanding to be felt even though I'm still here. I see it all, but it's too late.

"I can't keep clawing at your walls, darling. My nails haven't even managed to make a single scratch." Nothing on this earth could prepare me for the feeling in my chest as I watch all hope evaporate from his face. I have to consciously remind myself why this is necessary. How many evenings I've sat waiting for him to come home, to tell me what troubles him. How many times I've gone to bed alone because he'd rather stay in his study and ignore the world. Once, I was naive enough to think that I might one day become his world. That he'd trust me enough to let me see the sides of him that were less than perfect. I did not harbor such sentiments now.

"There must be something I can do," he argues but I've made my decision. It will do none of us any good to dwell on what might have been.

"I'll stay with Lily and James for a few days until I find somewhere to go." It's selfish to bring his best friend into this, but I have nowhere to go and Lily is my best friend. It's only natural to seek her comfort right now. I tell myself it's only for a few days. And it's not as if James won't be able to come over and see Remus. I'd never get in the way of that.

"Please stay." With unsteady legs, I stand up and step to the side to pass Remus still on his knees.

"Please," he whispers so quietly, I almost miss it. If there is something smaller than a quark, I believe that would be equivalent to the size of the broken pieces of my heart lying shattered on the floor. He grips my wrist to keep me from taking another step, but I cannot stay. I cannot destroy myself to make him whole.

"Let go of me, Remus." It comes out as a plea rather than an order, but I cannot bring myself to cause him any more pain than necessary. Fire spreads where his skin touches mine and I curse how weak my body becomes by his touch.

"Don't make me do it myself. Please just let me go." I don't want to have to pry his hand off of me. I can't have that be my last memory with him. After a full minute, he finally lets go of my wrist.

"You are worthy of love, my darling. I'm just not the right person to give it to you." I lean down to press a kiss to his forehead as a final goodbye. The sight of his tear-streaked face will haunt me from this day forward, but I still walk out the door. And he doesn't stop me this time.