#one day I will write a proper fic about this

[ghostgirl-22]

would it be ok to ask for patrick x reader cockwarming…

Mmm yes anon absolutely!!

CW: 18+ NSFW. Um inappropriate work behavior, everyone is into it but a sexual harassment video would still tell you it was wrong, skewed power dynamics, no actual employees were sexually harassed in the making of this fic.

——

You’re an intern at his dad’s firm and you’re doing everything you can to be a good employee but then Patrick shows up to help prep for an important case. He’s there for two weeks while his dads away on a business trip. He’s not a real employee but he is a real nuisance. To you especially.

You really wanted to make a good impression. You’re kind of a people pleaser. He notices you right away. You wave at him trying to be oh so friendly, standing there looking so prim and proper, hair tied up so neatly, long legs in a pencil skirt that’s just a little too tight. Your white frilly blouse just a tiny bit see through. Make up neatly applied. The curves of your body unmissable no matter how professional you try to dress.

He flirts with you all through the first week. Teasing you for being such a good girl. Saying yes to everyone. Helping everyone with their work like the goody two shoes that you are. You can’t help it that the teasing makes you wet. He’s stupid charming and handsome. Gets all in your face in a way that makes you shy. “Would you say yes if I asked you to kiss me?” He asks, and boy do you say yes.

It escalates from there. He’s such a nuisance. Needs you in his dad’s office to help him dictate case notes. The whole time you’re kneeling on the floor under his desk with your mouth full. Just keeping him warm, till the end of the day when he bends you over the bosses desk and fucks your dripping cunt. He likes it so much the first day that it becomes your position for the rest of the week.

He likes to loosen your bun so that your shorter curls escape and fall into your eyes and he plays with them. He likes to take phone calls, talk to his friends about tennis, weekends in the Hamptons, and girls he wants to fuck. All while his cock hardens and twitches against your tongue and your eyes water for the size of it.

He’s got no shame. No fucking responsibilities outside of this and it doesn’t even matter if he fails because his dad is loaded and he’ll still get everything.

Sometimes he’ll take meetings, dick fully hard and no one aware that you’re under his desk. Coughing to hide it whenever he needs to moan just a bit. Occasionally he says nice things about you. How you’re so good at your job, you’re so professional and you’re really going places. Sometimes you want to touch yourself but he’ll nudge you with his foot to make you stop, cover the phone reciever and whisper, “No sweetie. You come when I tell you.”

It’s kinda hot.

Your micromanaging manager is looking all over for you but Patrick assures her that you’re busy with something important. All while he’s shoving his dick in you all afternoon. You’re riding him, shirt unbuttoned, skirt hiked up and he’s sucking on your bouncy tits, whispering, “Can you call me sir?”

“Yes sir.” You moan.

“Oh. You’re such a good employee. Employee of the month actually. You deserve a big fucking raise. You deserve it all baby.” He’s pushing up into you, knowing he’d come inside you even if you weren’t on birth control because your pussy feels that fucking good.

Then one evening you’re leaving his office disheveled, his come dripping thickly out of you while you’re pulling your dress down. Your pussy still twitching in aftershocks from the intensity of your last orgasm. To your surprise your manager stayed late to catch you on your way back to your desk. She’s there ready to write you up, calling you a whore and telling you you’ll never go anywhere in the company by sleeping your way to the top.

You panic and text Patrick that night and he texts back: dont worry sweetheart with a smiley emoji. But he’s rich. He’s got nothing to lose. You need this.

You worried for nothing. It’s Patrick’s last day as an intern. And surprisingly your manager has been transferred to an office across town. She accepted a raise and a new position and you’re now in her old position at double her salary. The lead attorney congratulates you for being “so good at your job and so eager to please. It certainly paid off.”

“See… told you not to worry,” Patrick says. Spoken like someone who’s never experienced a consequence in his life. But his dick is so big and he fucks you so good you can’t help thanking him. You spend the rest of the afternoon thanking him, while you sit with his dick warming inside you, writing briefs at your desk in your new office.

(Is this realistic? Nah. But I don’t think y’all are paying me for realism here lol. )

[miri-tiazan]

Fresh from the archives, new unhinged 00Q chatfic!

So, @cicerfics and have been writing unhinged 00Q chatfics and headcanons back and forth in DMs for uh… going on two years now, and it seems like perhaps the time has come to unearth some of these from the archives and dust them off for sharing. Accordingly, here is the very first chatfic we did, inspired by this comment thread on Ch. 7 of cicer’s delightful fic the warmth of your doorways!

tags: omegaverse, mpreg, weird omegaverse hormone nonsense, menopause

---

miri-tiazan: Oh God. Cicer. Doesn’t even have to be mpreg but…

Omega Bond going into his first heat in decades and just spontaneously deciding that Q’s flat is the Only Acceptable Location to nest in. They’re not even dating! Bond’s just broken in a few times! Q has no idea why this is happening!

Q just gets an alert from his home security system one day and Bond is There and he’s like, refinishing the window trim in the second bedroom or something. And also he won’t leave. Surprise, Q! You have a roommate, and he’s hormonal! Enjoy your new home improvements!

cicerfics: ...Okay, now that we're talking about this, you know what I'm a little bit obsessed with right now? The entire question of menopause in omegaverse. I don't think I've ever seen an a/b/o fic REALLY explore that concept, but now it's fascinating to me!

Like, what if nesting is a thing omegas only do when they're pregnant OR going through menopause? What if Bond (having never been pregnant) never experienced any of these instincts/urges and thought he was impervious to them? What if he hits 44/45, enters perimenopause, and is absolutely BODIED by the urge to:

a) Acquire a nice house b) Renovate, refurbish, and redecorate it c) Learn to cook d) Start a lil herb garden or something and maybe make some pesto??? e) Acquire a lover/companion to feed up and care for f) Acquire some pets/babies/random houseplants/literally anything that requires his protection and nurturing

Poor dude has ZERO experience with these types of urges. But when they appear, they hit him like a TRUCK. And his own flat is way too cold/sterile/crappy/lonely for proper nesting. There aren't even any cats or quartermasters in there!!

So, yes: one day Q gets home from work and Bond has simply annexed his flat/cats/kitchen. There are already overflowing bags from the hardware store scattered around the flat, because Bond has made up his mind that three different rooms need to be repainted, the bathroom needs a complete reno, and oh yeah, he's replacing the sofa because this one simply Isn't Right. The vibes are Bad. Bond Doesn't Like It, so it's gotta go.

Also, there's pasta sauce simmering on the stove and probably a trifle waiting in the fridge, and the cats are wearing new designer collars.

And sorry Q, but if you didn't want a hormonal new housemate/husband who is going through The Change...too bad. You got one anyway! He's here to stay...and no, he doesn't understand what's happening to his body/mind, either. Good luck, everybody!!

Continued on AO3 here:

00Q Chatfics and Assorted Headcanons (2391 words) by cicer, miri_tiazan Chapters: 1/? Fandom: James Bond (Craig Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James Bond/Q Characters: James Bond, Q (James Bond) Additional Tags: Omegaverse, Mpreg | Male Pregnancy, weird omegaverse hormone nonsense, Menopause Summary: Lightly edited chat transcripts between cicer and miri_tiazan: some live-written fics, some random headcanons, some plot-free fluff, all 00Q!

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Hi!

So I saw this post and my brain immediately turned to your omega Price au, and now I'm just imagining Nik, or Ghost, it'd work for either, just being worked up about how nice the candle smells and it doesn't matter how often Price tells them he likes their scent, they're still comparing themselves. To a candle. XD https://www.tumblr.com/mylarena/774147666034688000?source=share

And just while I'm here, I wanted to say how much I love seeing your writing and your thoughts and stuff, seeing your name pop up on my dashboard is always a highlight of my day. Seriously, you're awesome!

(and sorry if parts of this don't actually make sense, I'm writing this post a very late band rehearsal and I should really be going to sleep 😅)

Oh yeah also I was so happy to hear that the ofsted stuff went well for you, and I hope you can get a little extra rest and relaxation now it's all done with!

What a joy to find in my inbox. Also, love the cheekiness of the original post. We love our fic tropes. There's one I see all the time when describing a scent - "indescribably him" - or something like that, and I chuckle, but it's true. Your loved one(s) have a smell and when you're in love with them that smell is a comfort. Just bury your face in his damn tits after a long day at work and huff it in like you're doing lines in a club toilet.

I always imagined omegaverse scents as just generic musky "sex" scent, but it has pheromones in it that trigger the hind brain of an alpha, and vice versa. The more wacky you go with the biology the better. I was muddling through an idea about how the saliva if an alpha in rut changes; helps heal a mating mark, but also maybe an aphrodisiac and to help the omega relax? Or maybe it's in their pre? Just go proper kinky with it. Love it when people get creative with omegaverse and put more thought in than "big bad alpha fucks teeny-tiny twink omega".

[sisaloofafump]

LOISBAT TRICK PLS >:)

Bruce was raised to drink tea in a proper, refined, and detailed way. Lois was raised with no regard for any ritual regarding hot water. Unless she's needing caffeine, Lois will go for a mug of hot water, honey, and lemon. She calls it tea. This goes against everything that Bruce knows.

In Lois' kitchen she has a set of justice league mugs. The Superman one she'd long taken to the Planet and it sits forever on her desk. The Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and others are at the very back of the shelf, dusty and untouched. And then there is the Batman mug.

Bruce discovers the Batman mug one day while visiting her. It is stained and chipped and well used. He holds it in his hand. He puts it back on the shelf.

At home, Bruce has a Daily Planet thermos mug. When they've been working too long on their separate cases, when the distance between their cities is too great, Bruce will fill that thermos mug with hot water, honey, and lemon. It tastes like her.

Alfred finds it sacrilegious but he doesn't say a thing.

[supernovaa-remnant]

yet another snippet of the c!dreambur post-canon in utah au

I'm not sure if I'll ever make this concept into a proper fic, and even if I do I'm not sure how many of these snippets will make it in/stay canon to the story, but I'm enjoying writing them anyway

[eyepatchdate]

*starts another time loop premise* im sorry, time loops really are THE fic premise

[zukkaoru]

i think. everyone should stop reading my most popular fics that aren't really that good and start reading the ones with 18 kudos that are significantly better

[victory-cookies]

im like. two seconds away from writing a “norman and skip get used to the whole symbiosis thing” fic. I cannot stop thinking about them

[bromcommie]

the way I would kill for an M-rated howling commandos oneshot. she could’ve saved the mcu and this is 100% the hill I will die on

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

my new thing is obsessing over a funny little guy for a few months before moving onto another funny little guy

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

[blorboresidue]

guhhhh i am struggling so much with ch3

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Some souls are bound by destiny. From the moment they meet, a thread of fate connects them which none may tear asunder. But what if you could see that thread? What if that thread - and the one it ties you to - is all you have to cling onto in a world that threatens to pull apart at the seams? Would you keep hold of that thread, trust in the powers-that-be that this MUST happen, regardless of what your love might say? Or would you let it all go, and cut yourself adrift from the one thing you care about most in the whole world, so they could be happy? Would you accept Destiny... or embrace Doom?

Here's more drabble about Ralsei - now in a strange two-shot style thingy! It's its own thing because I liked the idea of pairing these together and that couldn't really be done very elegantly within the larger scope of the Dark Menagerie. Consider it a benign offshoot of that style of fic, if you like :p

Also horray the title of the fics show up in the links again instead of that vaguely-ominious "New Session" it said before! Party poppers and balloon animals all around :D

[apollo-just-ice]

Love that I had the thought “hmm well some of this stuff in my fic might not be completely accurate :/“

But then I reminded myself it’s like a totally self indulgent written for *me* thing,,, like yeah! It doesn’t have to be perfect, I am writing what makes my heart happy! That is all that should matter really!! And so now I feel okay, honestly. Good job, me.

That rly is an important thing to remember when creating things, is that foremost it should be making you happy, no matter inaccuracies or popularity or anything else

Also an essay of my thoughts about writing a pmd fic below in the tags hahah oops:

[supernovaa-remnant]

c!dreambur post-canon utah au is so important to me... c!wilbur leaves everything in the smp behind, only for c!dream to show up passed out in his yard a couple months later. and at first c!dream leaves when he wakes up, but he comes back not even a week later because the world is so big, and he's so alone and tired and lost, and he has no one else.

so c!wilbur, who really wants to be away from everything that even reminds him of his life on the smp, sucks it up and accepts c!dream into his home. and it's so hard because he's at constant war with himself, his desire fighting with his morals. and c!dream makes it so much harder because c!dream wants and craves even when he shouldn't, and c!wilbur wants and craves, but every night he makes the conscious decision to refrain himself because what they want wouldn't be good for either of them, at least not right now, and especially not for c!dream.

just something about them being in such a huge world with no one but each other. and it's so different than before. and no one here has even heard of l'manberg. tommy is not here. they don't talk about him even if they think about him. suddenly, the defining parts of their relationship hold no weight in the wider world, and they're both at a loss, fumbling through this newfound dynamic together.

and it's hard.

c!dream is such a shell of himself. he still isn't coping with, well, everything. and c!wilbur wants to make it better. because c!dream has been through hell and back and it's his fault and he wants to fix the broken pieces even if he has no right to. but who else will do it if not him? there's no one else.

but it gets better. c!dream will groan at c!wilbur's bad jokes and will laugh at his occasional funny ones. c!dream starts picking out movies for himself, finding vhs tapes that c!wilbur swears he didn't know he had. c!dream starts going outside, and it's such a small and insignificant town in utah with barely anything to do, but it feels like freedom. and he befriends the stray cats, and he lays in the sun, and he starts talking to some of the locals. one day, he goes to the gas station c!wilbur works at out of pure curiosity, and they have lunch together. and c!wilbur's co-worker gets them both christmas gifts. and they get invited to a new year's party.

and they're not the general of l'manberg and the leader of the greater smp. they're not the fallen hero and the villain. they're not any of the roles c!wilbur once built for them. they're just c!wilbur and c!dream, the two newest people in town who are a bit weird but mostly non-disruptive.

and it's all sickeningly domestic. but it's good. it's bad sometimes. it's really bad sometimes. but it's getting better. and maybe that's all that matters.