#once the thoughts start
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So I was relistening to Sam for the billionth time and once again came across David lecturing Darlin for being dumb.
Now, this episode gives me...mixed feelings. It always has. And the point I'm about to make was actually one of the first I ever made on the Discord but y'all know me, never missing a chance to restate and overexplain.
I'm most definitely not the first person to point this out but Darlin's first interactions with Sam that get them chewed out are extremely similar to Milo's first interactions with Sweetheart. They both meet somewhere where the listener shouldn't be, they come to a tentative agreement, then fight something that gets them fucked up and was kind of stupid. The difference is, as far as we know, David never finds out about Milo's stupid mistake. And, if you ask me, a shade is far more dangerous than a couple of vampires.
Can you imagine that pack meeting? Darlin getting read the riot act, Milo sitting there knowing he did something just the same but got away with it. Do you think he called them out? Or do you think he stayed quiet, knowing he had no room to talk?
And more so, how do you think Darlin reacted when they found out the story of how Milo and Sweetheart first met? The indignant rage of knowing what he did and got away with, the memory of the burning shame they had to sit there and endure, the humiliation they felt getting lectured like a child. He did the same thing and got none of that. I always imagined that when Sweetheart told them that they had to go take a walk for a few minutes in order to keep a cool head and not explode and then refused to talk to Milo for three weeks so that the rage would calm down and they wouldn't have to suppress the urge to break his jaw whenever they spoke to him.
The point I first made was "Do you think Darlin holds a grudge against Milo for not getting the same lecturing that they did?" Maybe it's not a strong one, but it's there.
It's interesting how the same event characterizes people differently. In Darlin's case, we see them as reckless and stubborn, someone acting out without a plan. In Milo's case, we see him as strong and protective, wanting to help keep someone safe. How can the same even paint one character as a hero and one as a villain when they did the same thing?
Because of connotation, my friends.
Milo has been painted as the smart-mouthed but fiercely loyal and protective friend, so we (including the rest of the pack) want to see his actions in the same light. Darlin has been painted as a brooding, emotional outcast, someone who acts rashly but with good intentions, so we see their actions similarly. But that's not fair. It's not fair to Darlin, who just wanted to protect their friends, and it’s not fair to Milo, who needs to be reminded that him throwing himself in the problem headfirst in life or death situations isn't the solution.
In conclusion, Milo deserves to have his little excursion with Sweetheart revealed and be reprimanded out of respect for Darlin cause that shit ain't right and it bothers me.
(Also, one more thing. In Sam's first healing audio after the double vampire fight he asks why Darlin wouldn't just tell a healer to shut up and heal them when they started asking questions. But in reality, the healer that Darlin would've gone to while running on instincts probably would've been Marie and yeahhhh I'd like to see anyone tell that woman to shut up and do something. Don't fuck with Mama Greer.)
#this got out of hand#once the thoughts start#they dont stop#and now we're here#but yeah#i've held this in the back of my mind for almost 2 years#justice for darlin#asmr roleplay#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted darlin#redacted milo#redacted david#redacted shaw pack
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that shitty thing some people do where they compliment something about you, only to take it back and reveal that it was meant to be a joke at your expense when you sincerely thank them for it, used to bother me until i realised that you can just. keep it. refuse to hand that power back to them. they are never prepared to deal with this.
#🐉#i sometimes get hit with this 'you poor deluded naive little idiot. you actually thought someone could admire your pathetic ass' routine#usually for the slightly eccentric way i dress. sometimes for the earnest and honest way i act.#but nobody ever knows what to do when i just keep responding to their attempts at mocking me with complete sincerity#someone once asked me where i got my outfit so they could give it a try themselves in a very obvious 'i am making fun of you#by implying how ridiculous i would look if i dressed like you' way and i just started suggesting how he could#put an outfit like mine together completely straight faced. and he quickly realised hed tried the wrong door.
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If you follow my main you had to know this was coming… anyway. Enjoy these bloodweave doodles :)
#bloodweave#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate more like baldurs gay amirite folks?#yeah sorry the themes of hunger abuse and power got to me. I’m not immune to thematically mirrors#I have so many thoughts about the it’s not even funny anymore#oh you mean to tell me that canonically gale would offer up his blood if asked and that astarion can’t even do that bc of the orb ??#tasteful irony that the guy who would want to help can’t do that bc of a mistake he made for love.#especially devastating for someone who measures his self worth in usefulness#oh they are so fucked up and they could understand each other in ways hardly reachable to others#once I start an origin run it’s over for you guys I will be so insufferable. even more than usual
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the crusaders do have a healer.
they don't like to talk about it.
#jjba#kakyoin noriaki#kujo jotaro#joseph joestar#muhammad avdol#daily#((bet you thought i abandoned this blog. well jokes on YOU. i havent stopped thinking about it ONCE since i started it.))#((the guilt is killing me. but not really. anyway this is 100% canon to my blog's continuity and you may quote me on that.))#((i cannot guarantee regular updates going forward but i am at the very least trying to get back on track!))#((regardless! hope you enjoy this silly joke. i spent a long time on it and i definitely had more to say about it but i forgot.))#((peace and love💚))
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I love that is not even an exaggeration that they're sitting on each other's lap
i HAVE to be so 1000% right now i thought erik was sitting like This behind the table in the first panel and i couldnt register anything else
#xmen#xmen comics#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#im so sleepy my eyes are so heavy and this is messy but this was a necessity to do once i got home and had a lil time vjAELVKEVAJK#finally starting to get to older asks hi .... sorry for the wait but this was necessary i need you all to see my visions#it is necessary i illustrate my thoughts alvkejeaj#and with that i go to bed now. just one more day fuckinnn YEEHAW#good night everyone !
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Gideon Nav casually climbing twenty-two (22!!!) flights of stairs to get to the landing field in chapter 1 is yet more evidence that her legs are actually very strong, thank you very much, BUT it is also very funny to imagine her sweating and wheezing hands on her knees dizzy whole body burning thinking what if instead of escaping the Ninth she simply laid down and died
#<- guy who once climbed 13 flights of stairs to get to class and halfway up was like what if i simple Passed Away#gideon nav#gidein the ninth#trb.txt#tlt thoughts#anyway. starting a audio book reread to lull myself to sleep tonight#the other evidence of her legs bein rlly strong is that swordplay is like 70-80% legs and she is canonically mary sue levels of good at that
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color coded affection
#thru my experience chronologically the blue one actually goes after the yellow one; but development wise it looks better like this prolly#this is harvest moon like hearts where the color changes as affection level goes higher#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#yea i can't believe once i didn't put any speck of attention to him i am not even looking?????#but now i look intently at him and be like isn't he kinda handsome???????????#OH nooooooo#how life steers itself to the unexpectedly funny road#yuu thought she is finally normal about him#but that's exactly where it starts#god i need to finish my homework
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i saw this on twitter and its so dumb....seb would absolutely buy it LMFAO
#until they realize he bought it for nothing bc aint no WAY this man is sleeping THAT far away from clora LMAO#its the thought that counts#i can just imagine the same night that seb buys it he starts to cuddle clora and shes like what are you doing?? get into position#and sebs all sulky like what whyyy i dont wannaaa and cloras like WELL THEN WHY DID YOU BUY THIS TO BEGIN WITH?? LMAO#not even used once#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow#clora clemons#choccyart#sebastian x mc
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THERE AIN'T NO ATLAS, KID. NEVER WAS.
if you peel him back far enough, there's nothing but a pile of theater masks
like, it's really fun how fontaine starts spiralling out the closer jack gets to him in the final arc of the game and returns to appropriating the image of family (the fake family in the beginning, the flawed father position later) to try and appeal to jack in some way but it's like. buddy. baby. you already took off your mask. anything you try and put on after this is going to come across as cheap and desperate. the magic is gone! and personally? I'm hooting and hollering
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta
#like it's SOOOOOOO funny how he tries to pull the family angle again especially because he's sort of mimicking ryan#by trying to appropriate the father role over jack (the role of father being one of control#which. so you know how the fascist state works. right. if i start talking about roman history and the father of the state thing#will i start to lose people. im gonna do it anyway. SO-- [i am forcibly removed from the podium])#esp bc it's like. fontaine did the locks and keys for jack's mind but it's suchong we hear jack address with a familial term in#a recording. which is also. very. aughghgh. because we know what kind of person suchong is! (supernatural voice) family is hell#(not supernatural voice) you can choose to break the chains tho#i know i keep talking about the absolutely batshit family themes going on in bioshock esp w/ fontaine's father appropriation#but it's because the game has so much fascist dialogue coming out of ryan at full blast it would be EGREGIOUS not to think about it#i have some weird comic about intimacy via radios because it's enough of an immersive sim that i started thinking thoughts#about how I felt about the voice on the radio. and also. uhhhhhhhhhhhh. lobotomies.#(unsurprisingly I once had a jack/atlas-fontaine phase lmao)#bioshock#frank fontaine
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i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!
(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)
listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.
but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!
you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it
BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.
so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.
MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun
future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.
i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)
sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.
here we go:
compersion!
compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.
compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.
by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.
i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.
it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.
(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)
if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.
metamours!
a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.
the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.
there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.
the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."
(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)
of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)
open versus closed polyamorous relationships!
i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown
google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).
this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.
an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.
some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!
with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.
i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.
feelings for multiple people!
i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.
a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.
this is perfectly fine!
the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.
for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"
some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!
some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)
or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)
i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.
like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?
that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it
alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?
it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.
i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad
first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:
how does each pair act when alone?
how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?
are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?
if so, what are they?
are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?
if so, what are they?
partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?
(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)
what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?
what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?
how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?
doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.
those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope
then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?
but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!
a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.
(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")
AND FINALLY.
if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)
you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.
polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.
seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.
in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.
#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion#given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write.#i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like#oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective#anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions#i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try#polyamory#non-monogamy#ethical non-monogamy#writing#my writing#writing advice#relationships
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edit: downpour region poll can be found here!
#rain world#unfortunately theres a limit so i couldnt add the dp regions#ill definitely do dp regions once this poll ends tho <3#rainworld#random posting#polls#also i was inspired by this bc someone in the server started it LMAO#and i thought 'hey wouldnt it be cool if i do this'
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you call the baby growing in your belly a multitude of things, like lovebug and gum drop and sprout. cute things, that remind you of how tiny it is and how full of joy you are, and the names don't stop even after you find out what you're having.
katsuki doesn't follow along—at first. every silly little term out of your mouth is only met with an arched brow and a small shake of his head, the occasional roll of his eyes and the even rarer uplift of the corner of his lips.
"he," katsuki always continues. "he ain't gonna care what color his room is, do whatever y'want."
there aren't many appointments he's able to make, something you think eats at him more than you. being involved with a pro hero requires all kinds of sacrifices and you both knew that before your relationship started—but facing the realities isn't always easy; it bothers him, in some deep, dark way he's not able to talk about. even with you.
it's hard to tell how he feels at the first one he comes along for: he stands, quietly, eyes glazed over and lingering on the grainy image of your ultrasound, unmoving. when two little feeties are made clear in the picture, he silently crosses his arms and raises a hand to pick at the skin of his bottom lip—a nervous habit, one that gives him something to do and that hides his face just a bit.
he doesn't say anything for a long time. not until you're out in the car with your pictures in hand, going over them in the passenger seat.
"sooooo," you prod, "what'd'ya think? he's kinda...blobby, huh?"
he casts you a lazy glance, comes alive with a slow inhale before holding his hand out for the photos. the one with the little feet sticks out to him and he snorts, the corner of his lip raising. "yeah," he murmurs, before turning his attention back to the road. "but he's just a little bean, ain't he?"
#cw children#cw pregnancy#then once yall can see him moving around he starts calling him big foot LMAO#and he takes the lil photos with him 😌#keeps them at work 😌#and then once he's born he calls him all kinds of thing#like little snot LOL#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ willow writes#✿ theme: dad bakugou#from drafts i wrote this in feb hehe
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More minibatch adventure I need a full show maybe too XD
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#star wars fanart#I like them for once ^^#Trying to complain less in my tags haha#now time forrrrrr#my liffffffffffffe#I went back to the dentist today#I thought she would only deep clean my tooth and be done with it#NO#she actually reconstructed my broken teeth#I WASN'T READY TAT#me : hi#the doctor : ok sit down I'm gonna start by using a needle again to numb you#me: “the what”#It was scary all the way#me the whole time: “the bad batch had it worst you can do this”#BUT my teeth is saved now???#for a reasonable price?#bless#I'm just not ready for the two days without eating 'cause my mouth aches TAT#sight#at least I can drink#water#but still
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Ethereal - txmy
#supposed to be a longer story but i had no time#vash who dreams of wolfwood. vash who dreams of him smiling and all forgiving... (this too is just a dream to him)#and wolfwood laughs. smiles at him so easily. ''maybe so. but maybe deep down...you'd known I'd forgive you all along.''#vash who dreams of wolfwood and wishes he wouldn't smile at him. wishes he would've left him from the start if he'd leave him later#(but he never did. not even once. and vash is not sure how to accept that either)#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#myuminjiart#just thoughts ig
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tbh my ideal tumblr feature would be a three strikes system where if someone I follow posts something I'm not chill with (discourse, bad faith takes, unkindness in general, etc) I can press a lil button by their name and it gives them a strike, and after three strikes it unfollows them for me, so that I don't have to keep track of which of my mutuals has suddenly decided to reblog garbage on the regular
#personal#nooo mutual of 12y don't start being transphobic to trans men#I thought this was about solidarity :(#anyway this system would help me out#also someone reblogging discourse once or twice can be a fluke. a slip-up#but three times? nah they can go#I don't need to see this shit#at that point (esp if it's someone I can't directly talk to to try to have a conversation about it) it's not worth it
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"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity
that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him
#i have so many thoughts on these two#hes such a clingy brother wth#as much as he soothes her it is only by asking lucrezia verbally or#by looking at her that his fears and insecurities in her life can be soothed#cesare torn between - being relieved she had some joy in the ruthless marriage he had no power to prevent and did not even want to bless#or being envious there is someone else now when his little sister once said she will not love anyone as much as she loves him#but Accepting it anyways because it is impossible loves and maybe he is starting to become aware his love falls in this same category.#“should i envy this narcissus low-born who shall never see you again because of his impossible love for you when i love you just the same?”#the knife more surprise than fear. in a time when he did not love himself...“she accepts me as i am? as i do her”#biting her as if another black panther pet looking for reassurance that their love#that HE is still included in her perfect world even if he himself pulls away#“surely you're in agony as much as i am? are you already satisfied with your child and husband if we cannot share our love openly?”#“your eyes drift to mine when you say 'husband' am i not he? do you see me as so even when it was just 'tonight'?”#and then his sudden gaze as if to look for truth because how can she forget him when he only thinks of her#AND AGAIN pulling away being eaten by shame and guilt of corrupting her (when their relationship is not just his doing)#torn between hope (we have the capacity to forget and move on) and hope (our love has that much devil power over her)#cesare as the god or the devil or whatever it is that overwhelms whether at war or in love#cesare is one confident man and even if his insecurities has layers of righteousness and importance..it is still insecurity nonetheless#and only for lucrezia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#cesare x lucrezia#the borgias#dailyborgia#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#weloveperioddrama#onlyperioddramas#romancegifs#the borgiasedit
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