#once i started i couldn't stop

[orchidego]

ao3 has taken me places I wouldn't even go to with a g*n

smoking on that dramione pack

( @ailenach asked me for a dramione rec list so that's what this post is, anyone else read at your own risk )

Compiler’s note - skip down to the list if you don’t need to know why/what exactly I like in fic!

aka my dramione ethos: The most compelling dynamic in a ship, for me, is when it comprises of two people giving each other the strength to be the people they need to be.

Before he can be loved, Draco must be redeemed. In a way, he’s awfully bad at being a blood supremacist (lacking real conviction). Draco’s Slytherin morality, at least as a teen, compels him only in the direction of protecting and preserving himself and his own; he doesn’t seem to have a morality outside of this. Everything else is borrowed from his fear and desire to conform to his loved ones’s expectations. Contrast with Hermione, who has an outsized sense of morality—she knows exactly what is good and right, and she throws herself into her causes with self-righteous conviction, headstrong and beautifully off-putting.

Draco, the boy who belonged everywhere, watched his fragile worldview turn to ash and became unmoored. Hermione, the girl who belonged nowhere, bent the world towards her through obstinate radiant willpower, and established herself. Two people who could, maybe, find a home in each other.

A Draco in love with Hermione might wrap his morality around her courage, might steady himself while in the service of her. A Hermione in love with Draco might be preserved by him, may be bolstered against burning out or being misunderstood or unseen. They’re both industrious with their respective tasks (she researches! he toils!), which lends itself to them having intellectual parity. They’re both kind of intense. Then there’s the general enemies to lovers appeal, the idea that at no point in time were these two characters ever indifferent towards each other. The banter potential alone…!

So this is some of the kind of exploration I like in fic, pressed in many different tones; ff is especially unique in that we can play around with the elements (AUs, contrived circumstances, tonal shifts, narrative beats) and be more experimental because the weight of canon grounds it.

My rec list:

Before I truly begin, I feel like I have to comment on it: I did ultimately enjoy Manacled. A "Voldemort wins" fic with a Handsmaid Tale twist; it has compelling structure, with a D/Hr dynamic suited to my tastes and what I find interesting about the characters. However, it's dark (mind the tags) and I’m still not certain if the content was handled as effectively as the author meant it to be, and so I don't think it's a universal recommendation despite its staggering popularity. If you do want to read this I would recommend downloading it because she's going to delete it off ao3 once the novelization of it comes out next year.

My quintessential dramione recommendation is, of course, The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy. It's a full Deathly Hallows rewrite where Draco goes Horcrux hunting with the trio and as far as I'm concerned, it's canon. Unlike every other fic on my list, I would recommend this to everyone. Written very closely in style to the books, I think it has universal appeal and it’s the perfect jumping off point for the pairing while being convincing. Sometimes I would find myself wishing that this was the direction the books had taken. PG-13, in terms of violence and sexual content, which I find significant enough to bring up since there’s usually a lot of sex in popular ff.

My favorite humor-based rec: Bad Omens. Written in the vein of Terry Pratchett. I would describe this as a "star-crossed morons" kind of story. It's literally perfect.

Remain Nameless. Caveat that this sort of trailed off for me once the central tension with the relationship was resolved but I think in terms of an adult redemption arc it was very sweetly done. Sometimes achingly tender.

The Fallout is probably my favorite “extended wartime” fic of all time. The intimacy in this makes me want to kms, in a good way. I'm linking to a downloadable pdf here since it's been removed off other sites.

Love in The Time of Zombie Apocalypse. Zombie outbreak AU. Strays from canon characterization but. Plot goes crazy. Complex character work. Hooked me all the way through.

Thirteenth Night. Post-war, Hermione assigned to monitor a memory-charmed Draco. Less epic than a lot of the other recs on this list because the scope of the world is small, but it’s quietly good.

This is just my plug for anything PacificRimbaud has ever written, but particularly the historical rom com Love and Other Historical Accidents, the raunchy and funny One and Done, and the tender romantic one-shot Les Pelerins.

BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC. Listen to me. Listen to me. The title sort of explains the tone and it carries entirely throughout. I am obsessed with this version of Draco. All men should be bloody slutty and pathetic. Post-war, ministry employee Hermione, marriage law AU (which tbh I don't tend to love usually, so this really is exceptional).

She Whom He Harbors. Ok before you read the summary/tags and judge me, yes, this is basically a "fuck or die" fic. I figured I needed to make the rec in case this is a vibe anyone is interested in pursuing. But it's not just gratuitous smut, I swear, there's a compelling plot here. Lot of orgasms. But there is a plot.

Brand New World. Epic in scope. Diverges in plot while they're still at Hogwarts. Great Draco redemption arc (which is important to me!)

The Gloriana Set. ThebeMoon is my personal queen of Hogwarts Eighth Year fics. I would also rec The Darkwood Wand, by the same author. Both very fun reads.

Things Without Remedy. Time travel! Adore the serious relationship build in this one.

Tea & Necromancy. Sort of an experimental tone. Equal parts funny and morbid.

Sucker Punch. Also would classify this as experimental; you'll know if you jive with the writing within a few paragraphs.

Choice and Chance. Absolutely delicious plot divergence at the point of Hermione's torture at Malfoy Manor. Involves multiverse elements.

Beyond Recall or Desire. If you like soulmate bonds!

Malfoy Shrugged. On the shorter side; just a great two-shot.

Tromp as Writ. While I'm recommending perfect one-shots.

Mindbound. This author has a series of very short works based on fairy tales. This one is my favorite but I'd recommend the others too.

Past / Present / Future. Barbara Kruger AND a perfect adult Draco characterization? J’adore.

My very last recommendation is something that is so important to me, but I'm separating it like this because it's a WIP whereas all the others are completed fics. Please don't let that deter you, if at all interested.

Lionheart. !!!!

What can I say about Lionheart, except that its author somehow resides in my brain and created something for me, specifically? I've really so rarely read fic that is so perfectly balanced in dialogue, character understanding, narrative arc, plotting, action—when I read this, I feel like how I felt at 11, reading Harry Potter. For real. It's a whole series rewrite, truly epic in scope, asking the question: what if Draco had been sorted into Gryffindor? Currently the storyline is complete as to book four, partially through book five, and being updated. The character work is especially stunning to me. This is the sweetest slowburn friendship-to-lovers of my dreams; obviously heavy on the friendship arc since we're not all the way through, and yet I find that my emotional investment in this is so heightened it doesn't even matter to me. I want to read thousands of words of this (luckily, it's already got 600k+ of those). Thank you greenTeacup, for my life.

I obviously have read more than this so if there are any specific tropes/interests/limitations you want a rec for, I'm open to give an opinion. Also I have my eye on a few fics that I just haven't read yet, so alas, this list is not perfectly complete. The next thing I want to read....Détraquée....

[honey-pixel]

What do you meeeeaaaannnn I've read everything available???

[ahprodithe]

i never related to the phrase 'i feel like a raw nerve'. i understood it, sure. we can all imagine the pain. the thought of anything brushing up against something so exposed and vulnerable, it's not something anyone would like to think about for long. when i was a child, i learned that there was no space for my own emotions. it was always about my mother, or my sister, or anyone but me. it was unsafe for me to share my feelings, because they were dismissed, infantilized, deemed as less important. in response, i shut down. i didn't allow myself to feel. it was better to swallow the pain and smile and listen to others instead. now, as an adult, it's become my main coping mechanism. a way of surviving in a world that brings endless suffering, but beauty too. i don't allow myself to be open to any of it. i do not feel, like many say, 'like a raw nerve'. i feel like a closed door with a hundred locks and deadbolts with no keys to be found. i feel safer, that way.

the thought of opening myself up, of finding the keys and unlocking the door, terrifies me. it scares me to death. it seems so silly. they're just feelings... but when you've been taught that what you feel doesn't matter, feeling anything at all becomes suffocating. it feels like drowning.

i'm in therapy now. i've tried to work on myself plenty of times before, started something, got better, and still fell off the cliff time and time again. most people would quit. i almost quit. most days i still want to quit. but i'm here, and i'm breathing, and there's no time like the present. so, i'm in therapy. again. this time, it's more intense, more grueling. it's multiple days and longer hours and more therapists than i have friends. i knew it would be hard. of course it would be hard! you're expected to open yourself up, to unlock the door and spill everything out that's been trapped there. it sounds logical, it is logical, but knowing something and actually experiencing it isn't the same. and for the first time in what may be more than a decade, i'm understanding the phrase, 'i feel like a raw nerve'. here i am. exposed and vulnerable. here i am. open and scared. here i am. feeling like a raw nerve.

[chainsawpuppy88]

This was freaking awesome 🤩

And now I can't get metallica master of puppets out of my head

Intoxicating Fear — Part VII

Part one here

Continued from this part here

*~*~*~*~*

Hero tied Villain up with duct tape. It wasn’t the best thing to restrain Villain with, if they really wanted to secure Villain the only thing to do would be to tie up their mind. Or use power dampeners.

And as it happened Hero wasn’t able to do either of those.

So they tied Villain’s hands behind their back, and duct taped their mouth but Hero was pretty sure Villain could use their powers with eye contact alone so they wrapped a long sleeve t-shirt over Villain’s eyes and went to their phone.

If Superhero got here by the time Villain woke up they could sort it. They’d have power dampeners and Hero would finally be free of them. Once and for all.

Hero saw their red eyes flash up at them from their phones black screen, and felt nausea climb up their throat at the sight.

It will go away with time, Hero reassured themselves, just like the blue does.

Time was of the essence now, they could worry about their fucking eyes later.

Hero unlocked their phone and went to their contact list again. They glanced at Superhero’s name and clicked it. Sure enough Villain’s phone started ringing, bad moon rising echoing around the house again and Hero hung up.

That’s okay.

Villain doesn’t know Superhero’s civilian identity, so they were fine.

Hero scrolled down to Superhero’s real name and clicked the green call button.

Bad Moon Rising.

Hero froze in their home. There’s… there’s no way Villain knows— there’s no way they forced Hero to tell them was there?

No. Hero was just being paranoid. They wouldn’t do that. They wouldn’t.

They know they wouldn’t. They could never betray Superhero like that…

Hero went down to Other Hero’s name and pressed call and Bad moon rising started playing again.

Fucking FUCK!

It’s fine. It’s fine. Everything’s okay. Come on. The Agency’s number is online they could get that and call and they would be fine.

Hero opened their browser and tapped the search bar. The screen dimmed and a parental control password came up.

A six digit code.

Hero glared over at the unconscious Villain and wanted so badly to kick them in the face. They couldn’t just leave Villain here could they? What if they woke up and got out and used some innocent civilian as their own puppet?

It wasn’t very Heroic of them, but Hero honestly didn’t care.

They just wanted to get to Superhero.

Superhero would know what to do. They always know what to do.

Decision made, Hero grabbed their jacket and keys and left their useless phone and walked out the door.

Or they would have.

If the second they walked out the door they didn’t get an eardrum shattering headache that made white flash behind their eyes and brought them to their knees. Hero cried out, backing up and once they were back in the house the pain stopped and Hero could breathe again.

They let out short, useless pants trying to ground themselves and make sense of what just happened, even though they already knew.

Hero got to their feet again, and this time they ran out the door.

It was like a fire alarm going off in their brain and paralysing Hero. Their breath was stolen from their lungs and they couldn’t breathe, choking on air like a fish out of water.

Hero scrambled desperately back towards the house, their vision turning black at the corners of their eyes like a vignette as they dragged themselves over the threshold of their apartment and collapsed, wheezing. Greedily gasping in gaping breathes and choking on them, their lungs screaming at them for depriving them of oxygen.

Hero started crying.

They sobbed, which didn’t really help the breathing matters, out of pure frustration. Villain had let them free. Given them hope that they could somehow win and the whole time, the whole time they knew it didn’t matter if Hero overpowered them, because Villain had already ensured that Hero could do nothing even when they were unconscious and incapacitated.

They didn’t know how long they sat there, crying, glaring at Villain, but eventually they got hungry, and made their way to the kitchen where Villains breakfast was waiting for them. Still a bit warm, Hero took some bacon and pudding and sat down with their back to their front door staring at Villain because they couldn’t do anything else.

Hero began eating.

*~*~*~*~*

Villain stirred within the hour. Groaning and shifting, trying to get comfortable. Then they mumble something incoherent behind the tape on their mouth. Hero just watched them come to terms with their situation and wondered what kind of sick satisfaction Villain got from watching Hero struggle and try to get their bearings.

Villain inclined their head, staring directly at Hero even through their makeshift blindfold.

Is all this really necessary? Villain asked, voice in Hero’s head.

“Yes. Yes it is.”

Hero.

“You’re a fucking bastard, Villain. How does it feel to be the one on the back foot?”

I don’t know, Hero. Tell me. How does it feel? Being free. Being so close to escape and yet so far?

Hero clenched their hands into fists and grit their teeth, leaning forward from their place on the ground and wrapping their hands around their knees.

“I guess we’re both stuck like this until you undo whatever you did to me.”

Villain relaxed in their stance.

I can sit like this all day.

Hero said nothing.

Or I could always make you untie me, Hero. You don’t want me to force you to free me, do you? Do you really want everyone you love to die by your hands?

“I think you’re threatening me because that’s all you can do. I got something right, didn’t I?” Hero said. “Covered your eyes, do you need your eyes to compel me to do something? Or your voice? Or your hands?”

I think you’ll go mad before you wait me out, Hero. I’m willing to wait, silent and restrained. Want to see how long you can go without speaking to someone? I don’t mind.

Against their better judgement, Hero stood and walked over to Villain and yanked the blindfold off. Villain stared up at them grinning, dark eyes smug. Hero didn’t waste time going gentle with Villain’s gag. They ripped it off and smiled as Villain winced, their lips even more red than usual.

“Thank you,” said Villain with a smile. “You can untie me now.”

“Untie yourself, you dick.”

“I made you breakfast Hero, come on now. Don’t you want to leave the house?”

Hero’s hands crackled blue sparks up their left arm to their shoulder, glaring down at Villain who grinned up at Hero. “Ooh. Careful, Sparkles. You might hurt yourself there. Your eyes are almost the same colour as my lips.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Hero yelled, feeling the currents run through their hair. Red sparks flew from their usual blue angry and pulsing and dangerous, the red wrapping tight around their fist like a force of it’s own just begging to let Hero use it to hurt Villain.

Just to wipe that stupid smirk off Villain’s face, it would be worth it…

“Scary. Go on, kill me,” Villain said, leaning forward, closer to the sparks than safety would grant. “Go on. You could do it. You could kill me, if you wanted to.”

Hero froze at that. Hero didn’t kill.

They didn’t kill.

They weren’t a murderer they were a Hero.

“I won’t sink to your level,” Hero said, their voice echoing static with the sound of the sparks flying. The electricity ran from their body in an instant, drained and dissipating. Hero stalked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the knife block before storming back and kicking Villain onto their stomach.

“Harder,” Villain said with a strained breath.

Hero dropped down to their knee, dropping their other knee onto Villain’s spine and smiled at the grunt of pain Villain let out. Then they cut the duct tape around their wrists and got off Villain, keeping the knife in their hand as they went and leaned against the door.

“Now get this fucking thing out of my head.”

Villain got their hands under them and got to their feet. “I never ate breakfast,” Villain said instead, taking the last of the duct tape off their wrists and heading to the kitchen. Casual as if being tied up is an everyday occurrence. “Do you want an egg?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Villain shrugged, grabbing the oil and pouring it into the frying pan. “That’s not an answer, but I’ll make two anyways.”

“Get this thing out of my head!”

Villain turned slowly. Dark black eyes settling heavy on Hero, cold and threatening.

“In the course of my nap, have you forgotten what I can do to you?” Villain asked. They didn’t wait for an answer. A piercing screech rang out in Hero’s mind and they screamed, hands flying to cup their ears and stop the unmerciful ringing, pounding tight in their brain as if every blood vessel was being stretched and contorted and pulled and twisted, trying to get away from the sound.

The screech got louder the closer Villain got to Hero, and louder and louder until it was unbearable— white flashed behind their eyes and Hero was on their knees, screaming for relief, bent double and crying at the floor. It didn’t stop when Villain’s boots came within Hero’s sight line. A cold, lithe hand reached down and grabbed Hero’s chin tilting it up. The moment Villain’s cold hand made contact, the screeching stopped.

Hero was panting, brain and eyes still fuzzy from the after effects of the mental assault. Villain tilted Hero’s head all the way back, until they were sitting upright on their knees. Panting and shaking, exhausted. Brain caught between a frenzy of anxiety and a tired induced sloth, like trying to wade through a swamp.

“I could keep you on your knees like this forever, Hero. Like a pretty little statue, something to stare at, something that doesn’t speak or think. Just a dazed little angel, would you like that?”

Hero swallowed the lump in their throat and sniffed, their nose running from crying and screaming. In answer they reached a hand up, pulling at Villain’s hold but Villain grabbed their wrist before it made contact and bent it back on itself.

Hero hissed out a breath of pain through their teeth, glaring through pained eyes at Villain who just smiled down at them.

“Let go of me!” Hero grumbled pulling their head back. Villain twisted their wrist more in reply and Hero cried out, trying to yank their hand free, jerking back. Villain’s grip didn’t relent, in fact, they tightened their grip on Hero’s face, pinching their cheeks together with one hand.

“Hero,” Villain sighed, stepping forward, forcing Hero’s body to bend back uncomfortably. Hero’s head moved with Villain’s hand and Villain put more force on bending Hero’s wrist back. “If I let go you have to promise to be good.”

Hero pinched their lips together, but Villain didn’t let them. They squeezed Hero’s cheeks until their mouth formed a crude ‘o’ shape.

“Uhck-you agh!” Hero cried as Villain twisted their wrist further, tightening their grip until it turned bruising. Hero struggled and tried to back up but their head hit the wall and they were trapped between Villain’s body and the wall.

“Oh-kay,” Hero managed, furious, embarrassment flooding their cheeks.

Villain smiled, said, “good,” and true to their word Villain let them go.

Hero’s head bobbed forward immediately, wrapping a hand around their wrist and rubbing it soothingly. Villain just went back to the kitchen, whistling, not even entertaining Hero’s glare following them. Hero got to their feet, the world tilting slightly as they stood but they ignored it going to the bathroom and slamming the door.

Angry red eyes found Hero’s in the bathroom mirror. Hero’s hand went out quick, too quick to think and the next thing they knew their fist had shattered the reflective glass. Broken shards fell onto the sink and the tile with a glimmering tinkle, so Hero punched the mirror again, and again.

They would have done it again, if they could, if it wasn’t for the cold rinse of Villain’s power flooding through their arm stopping their fist from punching the mirror until they broke their hand. Instead, Hero turned and opened the bathroom door against their will, stepping out into the living room to see Villain setting up Hero’s first aid kit on the table.

Hero’s feet dragged them to the table and forced them to sit and hold out their hand for Villain to inspect.

“I hate you,” Hero declared, a furious childish part of them wanted Villain to know that.

“I know Hero,” said Villain, taking their wrist delicately, the same wrist they had tried to fold in on itself not two minutes ago. “Seven years bad luck to break a mirror.”

“Fuck you,” Hero replied emotion colouring their voice. Villain’s touch was tender on their hand as they inspected it for damage. Shards of glass were sticking out of their hand that was steadily streaming blood onto the table.

“I’m going to have to take the glass out to bandage your hand,” said Villain, dark eyes dragging up to Hero’s face. Villain’s expression twisted into one of pity, as if they could actually feel human emotion and it somehow made Hero feel worse. Hero’s heart hammered against their throat as Villain reached over and wiped fresh tears from Hero’s cheeks. “It’s okay, Hero. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt.”

Hero didn’t even realise they were crying until then. Frustrated, helpless tears were streaming sad and steady down their cheeks.

“Please just let me go,” Hero whispered, half leaning it Villain’s hand. They couldn’t do this anymore.

Villain sighed, rubbing their thumb soothingly over Hero’s cheeks.

“If you want, I can make you go to sleep while I do this?”

Hero sniffed, blubbering like an idiot. They didn’t want to be forced to sleep again, they hated that groggy feeling of waking up after it, completely unaware and vulnerable.

“No,” said Hero eventually. “No, I’ll stay awake.”

“Okay,” Villain cooed, drawing their hands back and going to the first aid kit to pull out tweezers and the disinfectant. “I’ll make sure you don’t feel a thing.”

True to their word, Hero didn’t feel anything as Villain worked. Not the disinfectant that would have stung. Not the glass being plucked out of his hand and onto the table. Not the bandage as it was tightened around their hand.

Villain moved with graceful fluidity, like this wasn’t their first time. Hero just watched them work in silence. If they imagined hard enough, they could be Superhero or Medic stitching them up after a fight with another Villain. A friend looking after them telling Hero that they’re an idiot, and why did they punch a mirror. The thought made Hero’s heartache more than their hand would have.

“Okay,” said Villain with a smile, a genuine small happy smile. “You’re all done. How’s that feel?”

On Villain’s question, feeling flooded Hero’s body and they clenched their hand and opened it again. It was tight enough to hold and loose enough to have full range of motion.

“It feels good, thank you Villain.”

The words escaped Hero’s mouth before they registered what they said. Then wide eyes went to Villain’s dark ones, but it wasn’t the smug pride they saw there. Villain smiled sympathetically at Hero and nodded.

“You’re welcome, Hero. How about you go get some sleep? I’ll clean all this up and we can go back to hating each other after.”

Hero nodded numbly. They were exhausted and deflated at their almost escape, they should have known Villain would have thought of everything Hero would do. The only way to defeat Villain properly would be to kill them and Hero knows they would never do that.

They couldn’t take someone’s life.

So they stood and walked to their bedroom, shutting the door and collapsing onto their bed. Hero curled up under the covers and cried until they fell asleep.

*~*~*~*~*

The Orphanage (plz lemme know if you want to be added or removed <3) — @nameless-beanie @andithewhumper @annablogsposts @whatwhumpcomments @whumpasaurus101 @0eggdealer @rejectedbytheempty @princess-bubble-blossom @sleepy-pearl @n3rv0usn0v4 @whumpatize-me-captain @mj-or-say10

*~*~*~*~*

Hello, it’s orphan this is a sneaky PS that I am in the process of moving my work here to a new, primary account @patchworkorphan because I stupidly made this blog a secondary one

I am uploading my backlog of posts to that new blog, updated and edited shocking!

Okay thank you for reading, have a good day, watch the late late toy show! It’s officially Christmas!! okay bye!

[kimeoshi]

I love you spy churin, I'd let you play hot wheels on me

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 101 (103): do it for Them

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"If PD-MDZS drew He Xuan, would he be a Man or a Fish?"

[nonexistent-alfa]

Hey so Alver was planning on never really marrying right? He didn't want his child to live hiding their identity for the rest of their life like he had to. He didn't want to hide his identity from his significant other either.

Do you think at some point during the last three years, the thought has ever crossed his mind about how he'd avoid the pressure of marriage from the nobles and everyone? Do you think he may have, for even the briefest of moments, had the thought cross his mind that he could just, like... Marry Cale?

Because the perks of that would be

The backing of the Duke's House of Henituse becoming more solid and undisputed.

No pressure of heir if he marries a man (they can't hope for illegitimate ones because the crown prince is Gay).

Cale knows his dark elf heritage so no deception there.

[beforetimes]

amusing myself with a post-dofp, pre-apocalypse fix-it wherein peter goes back to the x mansion much earlier and gets to help in fixing it up. because, like, as lowkey traumatizing as erik's speech probably was for peter in the moment, i can't imagine he'd want to squander the opportunity to take a look back at these ppeople who had brought him into the fold of this new world they'd introduced him to before anyone else knew about it. i think it's plausible that he didn't go back to the school after that speech because, maybe he wanted to lay low so his little sister and mother wouldn't get dragged into whatever mess he'd been complicit in unleashing on the world. but i don't buy that he wouldn't go back earlier, either, especially with all the time in the world to think [agonize] over these strange people who were like him when he didn't know any mutants before, either.

so! let's say peter goes back to the mansion following erik's news broadcast to keep distance from his family to keep them safe. what next?

well when he gets there, it's obviously a dump compared to what it used to be. charles hasn't bothered to fix it up when he was on a ten year bender and hank was busy keeping charles from self-destructing and logan was there for a day at most

peter, however, is armed with superspeed and is an overzealous teenager who was challenged ("how fast do you really think you can clean all this? what, half a day?" "half a day for one room? you're kidding, man—") and now he has his pride on the line so obviously he commits to clearing out dust to prove he's the best duster to ever step foot in this stupid mansion

and he's maybe, like, halfway through the first room before he's realized what he's been roped into but also he doesn't really care because he's so bored and by now he'd probably have ramsacked a grocery store near home for more food he doesn't need but his heart squeezes a little at thinking like that—thinking about using his powers so openly after seeing this guy threaten to kill the president and now everyone knows about mutants and their only examples are 'terrorist' and 'not terrorist' and he really doesn't want to think about his sweet little sister still small enough to sit in his lap watching him step outside to break the law like that man did and phew why does being associated with this guy he broke out of prison make his chest hurt so much? whatever he'll just ignore that and keep cleaning because if he's cleaning he's not putting his family in danger and who knows maybe other kids will find their way here

and then he imagines little gap-toothed mutants about five or six years old running down the empty halls of this forboding sad mansion and the dark hallways make him feel a little more sick so he runs through and opens every curtain in about two seconds and feels less like throwing up and wow he doesn't think he's ever felt this lopsided in his life

and so peter works through about two floors by the end of the day and crashes in a bed to sleep for five hours before immediately raiding the fridge for about three thousand calories worth of food and makes his way through most of charles' newly restocked perishibles before the man even makes his way into the kitchen looking for some coffee or whatever

and peter isn't really mad but he is feeling a little off-centre about the fact that this was the guy who brought him to the pentagon to break a terrorist out of jail and even though it was really cool and he had so much fun doing it and it was the first time in a while he wasn't bored for an entire day he still feels a bit cheated because he didn't know he was breaking out a terrorist but charles definitely did and he was mad but he kind of didn't care and he left peter with a car to drop off and nothing else even though he dragged peter into this mess and was now pretending nothing happened

so peter leaves the room before charles can blink and spends the next week dodging him and hank is stressed and charles is stressed and the woman from the cia who visits, like, once, can feel it too because peter can tell she's stressed by the look on her face he snags a glance at when he's rooting through her wallet in superspeed and everyone is tense and stressed and peter is kind of regretting this because he could just hide in his basement until he's absolutely sure no one from the pentagon remembers his face and the fbi won't break down his mother's door to take him away from his family

and one night he's really not feeling it so he calls his mom and he doesn't really look at the date but he guesses it's important because the moment the phone picks up and he says "hello?" his mother is just spilling out so many things to him like one secret after the other and peter can usually notice everything because he's always got time to look at the details but everything feels syrupy and goes in one ear and out the other until the next morning when he sits down at the table and is in the same room as charles for the first time in weeks and all he can think is my mom knew someone who could do that

so now he's got this whole mess to think about so he doesn't have any time or energy left to be mad-not-mad at charles and hank which is crazy because he has so much energy all the time and he guesses that the pair of adults are taking their blessings without questioning them because they continue on as normal and peter only gets one day of things being sort of not entirely awful while the news settles in before he opens the door at eleven in the evening and finds magneto from the news on their porch with blood all over his side

and peter kind of blanks out or he stares too long or something because magneto says something and then all of a sudden peter's rushed the two of them down to hank's lab where hank pretends he wasn't listening to black sabbath because he's distinguished or whatever and there's a lot of yelling and panicking and peter stays at the side while charles joins them a few minutes later to talk calmly while everyone yells and eventually no one is yelling and magneto is fixed up and charles is staring and hank is glaring and peter opens his big dumb mouth and trips into the worst situation of his life entirely by accident

which is where he invited magneto to stay until he's feeling better

and everyone looks at him and even he's not sure why he said it because he doesn't know how he feels about magneto because he's been dreaming about having a father for years and years and he always imagined him as a boring old man who wasn't particularly anything special at all and the type of person who would float from city to city just working as a placeholder for a lot of other women instead of specifically screwing over peter's mom

and he didn't think his father would be a terrorist and he doesn't know if he wants to imagine magneto and father in the same sentence but all he's really thinking about is that new animated robin hood thing he saw with his sister and how that marian wondered if robin remembered her and robin wondered if marian remembered him and they were both thinking about each other without knowing it and peter doesn't know if his—magneto—remembered his mother but he can't stop himself from offering anyway

so now after a lot of silent conversation between charles and hank where peter is left out of the loop because his brain makes charles nauseus, magneto is given a room to stay in under the condition he doesn't try to, fucking, blow up the school or whatever the hell he wants to do to make everyone think mutants are evil. peter paraphrases the rules to sound like that in his head because charles is much more formal aloud

and if he thought the stress and regret and everything else that made him want to throw up was bad before, then phew he had no idea what was lying in store with him when it came to magneto because that guy is a perpetual storm cloud over a bright and sunny day no matter what happens, somehow

and peter knows he probably has a tragic backstory because he heard as much from charles late one night when they both couldn't sleep and peter couldn't help but ask what magneto was like when he was younger and charles looked so sad peter almost regretted asking but didn't because curiosity was going to eat him alive before he got a chance to blink

so peter doesn't know all of it but he knows it was bad and magneto is allowed to be upset but also it isn't cool he tried to murder the president and that's the one part that keeps screaming in his head every time he reconciles with the fact that he invited this guy to stay at someone else's mansion when the only reason peter was here was to keep his family and by proxy himself safe from this type of stuff

so he's proven to himself he's the dumbest person alive about three times over and he's still helping with renovations in that stupid mansion and he's wiped at the kitchen table when someone slides a glass of orange juice to him at ten in evening and he looks up and hey it's magneto he knows that guy

and that guy is like, terrifying as fuck so peter kind of chokes on his thanks which makes magneto's eyes look stormy and kind of sad and wow he didn't know that was a thing that could happen he sort of throught terrorists were above feelings especially after attempting to kill presidents

so peter kind of says sorry and magneto says sorry and no one says anything until magneto says its very impressive how much he's been doing to help out around here and peter is like wow really you think so because he still loves praise and people seeing how cool he is and it bugged him the tiniest bit that magneto walked by without saying anything when he broke him out of the pentagon btut he's glad that dusting and sweeping and mopping has impressed this guy so much

and magneto says something about how he's greater than he knows and that his gift is something that no one else possesses or something like that all peter knows is it's verging into territory he doesn't like and he keeps thinking about how much magneto hates humans and he keeps thinking about how his kid sister and mom are humans and he wonders if his dad hated his mom and thats why he left and he zooms upstairs to grab his walkman and put on his headphones before coming back downstairs while magneto's mid sentence to make him go away because peter was here first

magneto kind of blinks and goes blank and peter sort of welcomes it because magneto is frightening when he gets so into this whole mutant supremacy thing he has going on and peter is regretting asking him to come by at all before the guy stiltedly asks what he's listening to, which, like, what?

and peter finds out that magneto has never listened to like, a single band that wasn't playing on a radio he accidentally happened to be in the vicinity of and peter blinks and all of a sudden he's bugging a terrorist who hates humans to listen to his vinyls because he's somehow convinced himself in a moment of hysteria or delusion or psychosis that if he woos magneto with human music he'll decide that he doesn't want every human dead, just the bad ones and peter won't have to try and kill him or something and wow that's a lot to think about because peter doesn't think he'd ever murder someone but his dad murdered a lot of people or tried to and if they're blood related there must be some of that in him or something but thinking about that makes his chest twisty and he's only like eighteen or nineteen so he throws that worry aside but doesn't do too great of a job at it

because he's sitting in his room and they're both listening to queen and peter's mind can't stop going in circles and circles and circles and his mouth is open and he's asking magneto hey do you think you'd kill a human even if you loved them once before he can stop himself and magneto's staring at him and peter's staring at the ceiling and his chest is this tight ball of frizzy hairs of anxiety or something gross that feels like a million pounds

and magneto very slowly says why do you ask before he continues like he's peter and he can't bear to be interrupted and says something or other about how no humans are trustworthy and peter can't shut his dumb mouth so he asks more directly if he's loved a human before

and now magneto's staring and not saying anything and peter's kind of hoping and kind of not hoping that this guy who he's spent the past few weeks bonding with over late nights and vinyls and breakfast-for-dinners will either put the pieces together or say no and prove peter right and peter will make sure he never knows that peter's kid sister and his mother even exist

but magneto surprises him and says he's loved someone once and it would be a lie for him to say he hasn't loved humans when they didn't know what he was and when people found out what he was there was always a problem and that's why humans are a problem

and peter wonders if finding out that someone was pretending to be something theyre not would make magneto as upset as it did humans because he thinks he's going to go insane if he keeps pretending he's not magneto's kid and he's still kind of hoping for magneto to be more outwardly evil about hating his mom and kid sister so peter can just mentally disown him and get this weight off his shoulders

and he keeps waiting and waiting and waiting and magneto doesn't say more and peter doesn't say more but now this thing is sitting in between the two of them and peter's given away more of the game than he wanted on the last day before magneto's supposed to leave because of his fully healed wounds—which he had many of

except when he goes back to down to breakfast the next day he finds a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee and magneto is sitting at the table reading the newspaper that charles somehow gets delivered here and when peter finishes his glass and has four more magneto tells peter to call him erik

so now it's peter charles hank and erik living here and peter waits and waits and erik doesn't leave and they don't talk but he doesn't leave and peter is still waiting for erik to leave when charles wheels in a few days later and says they're going to go look for students and when erik just hums and says he'll come with peter stares and charles stares and hank stares and no one says anything

and then the days pass and they get a longer and longer list of students and peter's run out of places to clean and erik is still here and they don't talk about it but they listen to vinyls and erik is still here

erik is still here and peter is still here and nothing is really fixed but nothing is broken either and peter is content to sit in this space of being and not being until he's sure that there's more erik in magneto than there is magneto

and erik is still here. and peter is glad. secretly

[imerian]

My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for

More pictures under cut

[cafecitoeddie]

Callum’s Instagram post saying he is entirely satisfied with how his arc played out. Even guest stars are shading that man. 😂

STOP IT NONNY! listen. they really truly could have brought tmmy back!!!!! they have shown that he was / is very important to buck, enough to use up all his flour for baking to stop himself from reaching out! but that interview yesterday?!!? where he spent the entirety of it going on and on about how he was caught off guard, how tommy was feeling all sorts of ways, but somehow also throwing it all back on tim? okay dude. where was the praise for oliver and his performance on how he dealt with his character coming out as bisexual? where was the praise for the network in letting them explore a relationship like that in the first place? no, he spent the entire time going "woe, is me!" so yeah. callum is gonna go in a totally different direction with his time on the show because he's an actual professional.

[i-bring-crack]

A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?

Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution

[khunkhai]

[foxcort]

sometimes i think about how the acotar books could've been a great way to show that "love doesn't heal trauma" rather than whatever points sjm was trying to make about abusive relationships and sa. instead of tamlin being abusive, she could've written that feylin's individual traumas kept them from reaching out to each other. or that feyre felt suffocated by the perfect, idyllic and alive spring court when she felt the opposite on the inside. or that tamlin felt overwhelmed by the sudden influx of responsibilities as he's trying to rid himself of the nightmares from utm. they try to make it work. they try to replicate some of the dates and dances from book #1 but there's an almost tangible shadow over their relationship now. and maybe one day feyre sees a memorial for andras or a likeness to one of the high fae living in the spring court to one of the high fae she killed utm, and has a panic attack. and this serves as the catalyst that severs feylin's relationship and reveals that yes, their love broke a curse, their love saved prythian but it couldn't (and shouldn't) heal them.

[nikolas-ghostbusters-fixation]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.

I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.

I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??

Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.

[misc-obeyme]

what are your thoughts on the cheeky lil cow boy (belphie)

Ah yes, Belphegor, a bit of a polarizing character in general, I think. People seem to either really love him or really hate him.

Generally speaking, I think he's deceptively cunning, but not in a malicious way. He's pretty chill most of the time, but he'll do stuff like manipulate his brothers to get them to do his chores for him. Except for Beel, of course. And really they are a unit. Belphie is always ready to fight for Beel and vice versa. But I also really like how they just quietly support each other. Someone will say oh Belphie fell asleep in this weird place and Beel will immediately be like I'll go get him. Or Belphie will be like we need to make sure we bring food to this thing because Beel will get hungry. Like they're just always thinking about each other and I think that's really sweet.

Belphie will also call people out if he wants to. If he has no reason to keep it to himself, he'll straight up tell you if he thinks you're doing something questionable. And his issues with Diavolo indicate to me that he has a problem with authority, like he would be more defiant if he wasn't also lazy lol.

Inevitably, though, we can't really talk about Belphie without discussing the Lesson 16 Incident. At this point, I think most people are aware of those events, but just in case, I'll put the rest of this under a read more. And also it's kinda lengthy, so be forewarned lol.

First of all, I have to say that I was honestly so confused about what was happening in Lesson 16 that I didn't fully understand that Belphie had killed MC. I had to read it multiple times and then read what other people were saying about it. So I never had an intense reaction to it.

But to be fair, it wasn't like we didn't know there was something weird going on the whole time. I knew it was the youngest brother locked up there and it seemed like it was wrong, so that made Lucifer out to be the bad guy of the situation. Then it turns out that wasn't the case at all.

Belphie is manipulative. That's just part of his character. And when he has something that he's trying to do, he's going to use that skill to get it.

Some people are still mad at Lucifer for locking Belphie up at all. Some people are obviously quite upset that Belphie killed MC.

But here's what I think.

It isn't that black and white. Aside from the confusing time travel shenanigans, this event is one of the most realistic things that has ever happened in the story.

Belphie shared Lilith's love of humans. Together they wanted to learn more about the human world. It would be easy for him to blame himself for her interest and what ultimately led to her death. But even if he didn't, he saw the way that it tore his entire family apart.

It wasn't just that his dad got mad at his sister and they had an argument or something.

It was that his dad was going to end his sister's existence and in defiance, his older brother rebelled. And there was a war. This was not some squabble. This was siblings fighting siblings.

Belphie watched his brothers and sisters fight and hurt and kill each other and it all came back to Lilith falling in love with a human.

And then he fell with his brothers, cast out of his home, losing everything he's ever known. His brothers are changing and suffering just like he is.

They don't talk about it. They clearly all keep secrets regarding it still, things that don't come out until MC comes along. Which is supposedly thousands of years after the fact (at least in OG). That means Belphie has had all that time to let that trauma fester. To let it twist inside him. To let it morph into the one thought that became most dominant: that humans are bad.

Is that a fair assessment of what happened? No, of course not. But we're dealing with a war traumatized fallen angel that clearly hasn't worked through any of these feelings in thousands of years.

And then he defies Diavolo and Lucifer panics.

Yes, Lucifer should have found a better way of handling it. But remember what happened to him when he defied authority? He is trying his best to protect Belphie. He is trying not to lose another sibling. He is also still traumatized and therefore overreacting out of fear.

And so was Belphie.

Imagine being locked up like that and a human comes along. A human is free among your brothers to do whatever terrible things humans do while you're powerless to stop them. Of course he's going to try to manipulate that human into setting him free. Of course he's then going to eliminate them because humans have been historically bad for his family.

I read this situation as Belphie being both afraid and angry that a human - the thing he's convinced himself was the main cause of his sister's death - has become so close to his brothers and has the access to his family that could cause another rift among them.

You could say that it was Belphie's idea to get MC to have all the pacts, but that isn't really true, either. By the time MC meets Belphie, they already have a pact with two of his brothers. He sees them already starting to worm their way into his family. And he knows that the only way to get out of the attic is to encourage it. He doesn't really have a choice.

Maybe everyone can now call me a Belphie apologist. But I'm always coming at this from an outside fictional standpoint. I'm like listen he's a flawed character and it's actually pretty realistic of him to react this way considering the circumstances.

However, he did kill MC. And that's why my own MC, Ciaran, has issues with Belphie for a while. It's also traumatic to have someone kill you, so it isn't like I'm saying MC should just forget about it or forgive Belphie immediately. I think it probably should have taken a lot more time for MC to trust Belphie again. Certainly that part of the story was a bit rushed.

But they're dealing with lesson format constraints and also it's a silly otome game so I guess fully formed character arcs can't be expected. Especially since we aren't dealing with routes and they have to cram everybody into the same set of lessons.

In the end, I think Belphie is an interesting and complex character. I think there's a lot of space to explore more about this particular aspect of him, but due to the format of the media and the lack of routes, his more in depth character arc just doesn't exist.

I personally have no problem with Belphie as a character, but I also understand why people don't like him. I am always of the opinion that everyone is free to love or hate or have any emotions at all about fictional characters lol. This is just my personal opinion.