#once again i don't know my sources
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another lil history thing:
The Washingtons were well known for spoiling the children under their care. People in that time noted that. Their kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc. All the kids that lived with them were spoiled by them. Patsy and Jacky Parke Custis (Martha's children from her first marriage) were extremely loved, especially since George and Martha never had children of their own. George bought Jack a violin, and Patsy a spinnet (which was kinda like a predecessor to the harpsichord), and would buy Patsy a doll from London once a year that was updated with the latest fashions from Europe. He also bought Jack horses and Patsy a parrot (I think it was a parrot, it might have been another bird). One of his and Martha's granddaughters (I can't remember which) also had a spaniel named Frisky. Also George tended to spoil the girls and was stricter with the boys, and Martha tended to spoil the boys and was stricter with the girls (probably because she was the woman of the house from a very young age).
But they were strict too. George was strict about education (since he didn't have a chance to be formally educated like his older brothers). He was very strict about where he would send Wash Parke Custis to college (and I think someone recommended he ask Hamilton where he was sending Philip, since Philip was a few months younger). He was super strict with Jack, Wash's father, but both boys were lazy about schooling and just overall uninterested, and in the end deferred to Martha (in Jack's case) and Nelly Calvert and David Stuart (since they were Wash's mother and stepfather). Neither of them ended up finishing school. The girls were also tutored really well in dance (I think), music, embroidery, etc. They were well read and were able to read and write proficiently. Martha was more lax about the boys' education (I don't think she actually had a formal education and would often use secretaries to write her letters and then she'd copy them and sign them), but she was known to be pretty strict with the girl's education (since all that jazz was vital to them finding a husband and all that).
#once again i don't know my sources#whoops#john parke custis#patsy parke custis#nelly calvert custis#nelly parke custis lewis#wash parke custis#george washington#martha washington#alexander hamilton#amrev#american revolution#history#american history
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[insp] [Alex]
Prince Henry of Edinburgh is accurate to the movie don't @ me
#red white and royal blue#henry hanover stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#rwrbedit#rwrb movie#rwrb source#the real reason alex whipped out his phone#do you know how many times i re-wrote whether arthur would be a duke or not#my poor flatmate does#maybe this is why the book had shitty research#i also changed my mind about catherine being princess of wales between alex's gifset and henry's#teeeechnically after the succession act in 2013 she could have been given the title?#but.... i don't see it happening#(yes i know she was in the book but once again the book put zero effort into researching anything british)#(and i'm not sugar coating my opinion of that lack of effort)
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btw. here is the LGBTq QL actor list I started on MDL
I try to keep it updated as far as I get information.
#since I once again had to read that apparently all BL actors are straight here is my own list of actors and creators I know of#or at least I got from a trustworthy other list who just adds people based on sources#note I don't count as coming out when actors say 'actor xy is more than just a friend for me' that can mean anything in this industry#also don't add anyone who keeps it vague#bl drama#gl drama#ql drama#thai actors#japanese actors#korean actors#taiwanese actors#lgbtq#QL history & education
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Jessica De Gouw as Mina Murray from the 2013 NBC series Dracula
#For those who do not know: this show is NOT in ANY WAY loyal to the source material#Once again Dracula is depicted as 'tormented' and 'sexy' and now also a 'genius'#(Aaaaarrrrggghhh)#but it's not exclusive to him! Everyone gets their own character assassination.#And what they did to Lucy... I have no words#The one silver lining I managed to find was that Mina is given things to do other than pine for an awful man#She's Van Helsing's student - which is already a premisse taken directly from my dreams!#I hope some day a good series does this so I can forget about this trashfire#And... I mean#the day I don't appreciate Mina cutting up a body just assume I'm dead#Seeing her happy with her accomplishments and proving all the men wrong made me smile#It was the one thing keeping me up from the coma everything else put me through#Wilhelmina Murray#Mina Murray#Mina Harker#Jessica De Gouw#Dracula (2013)#NBC Dracula#Dracula#May 9th#Dracula Daily#Dracula Daily 2024
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion. Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave. While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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Grump and not so grump (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Lol#Happy to be the happy sona! Of course ♪#I fiiiinally got a haircut again yaaaay#Actually all the Reds did! We all went to the local barber and they do such lovely work <3#We got our hair cut on smol's birthday and we're all adorable!#It's really nice now that it's out of my eyes and off my neck - smol's is directly in her eyes tho lol#As long as she's happy haha#Continuing the happies trend <3 This was doodled before the brain weirdness but I'm mostly back onto it :)#Got brain-work to do about it |P But better is good! I like better!!#And I like pleased <3#There was plenty to be pleased about! :D Good dreams and good conversation and games and ah <3 Happies <3#Poor Charm gets none of the above! Haha poor lad ♪#The TVAU grump was just a spacefiller so not much more to that#She is cute tho even when she's grumpy#And then the Kaiein thing lol - so I mentioned a bit back about going to meet with one of Kaiein's ''inspiration sources'' ahem ahem#It's the same as before - they're honestly quite ineffectual once you get right down to it#I read basically everything they do in bad faith because there's no established trust - and also I don't care if they're trying to insult me#If they're trying to connect it's sad - if they're trying to be mean it's pathetic - which I mean? Good?? Lol#Them not having power over me in themself is a good thing I'm glad that's where I am currently#Basically they got me a how-to book on digital art - with an emphasis on Photoshop#I know SAI is a lesser-known program but they were the one who helped me buy it - they've probably forgotten#Maaahh it doesn't matter - not even into Evil Time about it it's just so nothing pff#Someday they'll learn that giving gifts isn't the be-all end-all to making friends. I know I would've preferred nothing :P#I'm just happy to be confident enough where I am that while I don't like it - it doesn't actually do anything to me lol#It's a better place to be :)
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Thomas Seymour said something like "No words of Boleyn"? What is the context for this quote? I think I read it in your tags, your tags are quite interesting tbh
"Discussing the fate of Anne Boleyn was taboo around Elizabeth, creating a barrier. Thomas Seymour was the only one bold enough to break the taboo. Indeed, he mocked the embargo to others in the household. 'No Words of Boleyn,' he sniggered--a punning reaction on being asked about 'Boulogne' from Elizabeth's treasurer, Thomas Parry." The Temptation of Elizabeth Tudor, Elizabeth Norton
Edit: Here's the original, it does seem like he said that by way of repetition, and did mention his own brother as being of the opinion as well (score 1 for my memory, lol, thanks @annabolinas for sending me the quote).
#anon#the title of this book...gag#tbh it's fairly poor in analysis and nuance overall but it's decent for source material#i did track down the whole original quote once in archive.org it's like remembrances of thomas parry or smth#so it is a primary source quote#but i don't really have the spoons rn to do so again as i did for the george constantine one. might get to it later tho#also this is suppositional. i don't know it for a fact but im fairly certain kat ashley would have brought up her mother to a curious#younger elizabeth...she had many boleyn ties#my impression was that either coincidentally or not BE resembled a lot of this book. unfortunately .#again. i wish their reference library in script creation had been...broader
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i'm ethan and i was wrong
i'm singing the ethan wrong song
i shouldn't have called myself kin
now here's my remorseful dance
[realized i'm fictionhearted not fictionkin yippeee]
#or at least for the moment#idk my feelings on it change often#like yeah. i'm not literally the guy from the source. i don't have kin memories as far as i know now#but also HE'S LITERALLY FUCKING ME#sighhhh.#i said it before and i'll say it again#words and terms and feelings are hard#anyway this is my conclusion for the moment#i need to actually try and not question myself too much on it for once#ethan's yapping again
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GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.
#weed screams#i just wanna snap and yell at them for traumatizing me. I'm so angry. I'm so pissed that I've had to deal with so much bullshit here#I've only been here a week after moving out of the apartment i shared with my brother and I'm already going insane again#i have to buy my own food despite there being plenty in the house. I'm not allowed to bring dishes to my room even for just a few minutes.#there's two large excitable not well trained dogs that bite and scratch me#the cats in the house have to hide in the basement all day (to avoid the dogs) and i feel so bad for them#i feel like im the only one who actually tries to relate to my stepsister. i feel bad knowing she has to stay here too.#my stepmom makes rules without TELLING ME. and then gets all bothered when i don't automatically pick up on em#and the wifi sucks shit so i can't play splatoon#i can't wait to move to New York i just have to wait a little bit longer#enduring the horrors once more till i can escape to the big city#this living situation is both infuriating and saddening. there is NO REASON to justify how stressful it is to be here.#like. when i moved out of this place the first time my mental health improved so suddenly my therapist said i didn't need to see him anymore#that's not a fucking coincidence. my stress and anxiety has a root source and it's this hellhole of a house.
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i think having TF2 as a special interest really early in my childhood influenced so many things about myself and my identity.... my gender is big men my sexuality is big men and my sense of humour is big men. i even named myself after the "very tiny and scrawny but still big" big man and i think about all the big men in TF2 on a semi daily basis,,,,,, anyway yeah i like the men in TF2 :)
#tf2#this post is nigh incomprehensible#this is the true effects of autism...... having such a big special interest that it literally influences half of your entire sense of self#i think this is why i feel gender euphoria playing crusty old source games#like i literally feel so connected to TF2 it's crazy#i'm currently listening to a TF2 YTPMV and have it in the corner of my screen and my brain is just going ''ahh... the song of my people''#i look at scout tf2 and i go ''he is just like me!!!''#man's got adhd and likes being an asshole to the other team on the battlefield and if that isn't relatable i don't know what is#i also occasionally play as engineer and i always put my sentries in the most bitchy spots ever#like you're taking a stroll over to the point and you're like ''oop. level 3 sentry that i can't get rid of because the fucker behind it-#-won't stop helicopter parenting it. welp.'' that's my gendar#scout main to engineer main redemption arc to scout main villain arc because my sentries kept exploding pipeline#that made absolutely zero sense.#i usually play on training mode because i'm too shy to play on casual again yet and let me tell you#the amount of times i've yelled at the engineer bots because they just won't build a damn dispenser next to their sentries is insane#like maintaining a sentry would be SO MUCH EASIER if you just built a dispenser nearby. like.#when you play engie you start to not even worry about your health anymore because you're too concerned with your metallic kids to care#it's like ''oh i'm at 2 hp. wow. OH SHIT MY SENTRY GOT HIT ONCE AND LOST A SINGLE BAR OF HP I NEED TO HEAL HIM!!!!! MY SON!!!'#and you never end up dead somehow because dispenser#and when you do die it's like torture looking at the spectating cam and seeing your sentry get shot at and not being there to help it#it's like ''nooo... my son.... please i need to heal my son..... i can't bare to watch''#i should invest in a wrangler.... hmmmm......#anyway this post is... so autism! it's great we love to see it!#autism#i'm very tired yet feel very energised.... i'm having a neurodivergent moment hang on#spy sappin my executive functioning#my brain is literally just 3 scouts and 2 engineers doing do si do with 'erectin a river' blasting really loud at the moment#YIPPEEKIYAHIYAAAAAHYKIYO - my brain when special interest
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in my excitement i somehow massively fluxed dates around and that's super on me. Jack's disappearance date has always been June 11th and has never been the 18th. The Richie 2 audio is from a week after his disappearance
#chirps#i've already fixed my main post about it and I deleted the other one-- i'll reupload it in a little but once i've pulled myself together--#--a bit#i'm actually really frustrated about this. i know a lot of people use me as a Facts and News Source#and I hate feeling like i'm misinforming people#this does make me glad I haven't made too many posts talking about the new stuff yet. i have a lot to say but i want to make sure i don't--#--make any dumb mistakes again
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Not that anyone's asked about this, but--
Seeing as i'm in the mood to share some random info about what rattles around in my brain-- Have this list of canon muses i either plan to try writing, or have considered writing, but for one reason or another just... haven't attempted lol
tho i will slapping all that under a cut--
{𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑴𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔}
Impey Barbicane - Code: Realize
Saint-Germain - Code: Realize
Kageyuki Shiraishi - Collar x Malice
Noël - Sound Horizon
R.e.v.o - Sound Horizon
Alice? / aka: the 89th Alice - Are You Alice?
{𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝑴𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔}
Shell Overlord - Blood Bank
Jooyoung - K's secret/The Unquenchable Mr. Kim
Ukyo - Amnesia: Memories
Idia Shroud - Twisted Wonderland
Kazuki Hoshino - Collar x Malice
Laito Sakamaki - Diabolik Lovers
#{|ooc post|}#i should note that Alice is sort of an in between candidate here lol-- but-- i feel confident enough about placing him where i have u v u#and in other notes-- despite having a blog for Idia--#i've placed him where he is thanks to having like... zero confidence in my ability to him at this point LOL#and a fun fact relating to Ukyo-- i actually had an account for him once upon a time-- back in the days where i was rping via deviantart lo#but-- i never did actually get around to writing him XP#and he also sits on slightly shaky portrayal ability ground-- tho after i can visit the games again that might change#and for a final note i'll mention Shell-- because i actually came rather close to attempting him lol--#but-- i... don't quite know if i could commit to his degree of kinkiness LOL#and Laito sits in a similar boat-- tho for him lacking source content is also a factor
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I love the song O Children by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds and yes I know it from Deathly Hallows part one but outside of that it's such a good song. It's about bittersweet death and Orpheus and Eurydice and the song just. Songs so good
And I WILL fight any self righteous ex Harry Potter fan that tries to pull some SHIT that it's about the Holocaust (and therefore should not have been used in the movie which I don't care about the artisy agreed to it so. Whatever. He got paid) IT'S FUCKING NOT you DUMB PIECE OF SHIT WITH NO MEDIA LITERACY show me a source that says this that's not some Harry Potter fan's Tumblr post from 2011. Show me it. Show me an interview with the artist. Show me exactly why you think it's about the Holocaust. Oh, trains leading to death? Because Harry Potter is a thinly veiled and pathetic attempt at WWII parallels? (and if we're going by that do you have a deathly hallows tattoo because if you're so 1:1 about this. you do know the deathly hallows is her fucking. symbolic equivalent to you-know-what. Oh that's offensive? YOU DON'T THINK???)
Because HAVE YOU WVER HEARD OF POETIC IMAGERY IN YOUR DAMN LIFE how could you have ever called yourself a Harry Potter fan without the basic ability to understand sometimes things are not LITERAL. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
#tw harry potter#very upset about how harry potter fans treat this song#someone said it's weird people play it at their wedding (fair they only do it because harry and Hermione danced to it) but thwir reasoning#was that it's about the Holocaust. and when I asked can you cite a source for this other than a fan post from when the movie came out#because this article interview by the actual artist said it's semi-orphean in symbolism#and they went well it says the word gulag so you shouldn't anyway. like. bitch. What The Actual Fuck#do you get upset over the muppets sending kermit to the gulag. did you get your vengance on harry potter adults by saying this song is Bad#fuck you#anyway once again ex Harry Potter fan feelings have made me SCREAM and CRY about the damage this series has done#still upset about telling some hp fan friends about the way rowling wrote the deathly hallows to be the damn. n@zi symbol like literally#(normal symbol for peace-> co opted by supremacist. lovegood wears it because of the 'original meaning' and krum is ready to FIGHT him#because Grindelwald used it before killing a bunch of people including his family. you can't say the only jewish wizard joining him is#anti-Semitic because they paint him as wizard hi ler and then say but but but it's offensive to say the deathly hallows is that🥺 because#it's so popular I liked it 😭#i lost my train of thought#anyway told my friends this and they were like. hm. no. it's offensive to say that. and I was like OH YOU'RE SO. CLOSE. SO SO CLOSE#YES it's offensive SHE'S THE ONE THAT DID IT GOD POINTING IT OUT ISN'T. ISN'T MY FAULT#they're so haha fuck jk! and then this bitch is almost in tears because a club member is uncomfortable about Hogwarts legacy and she's like#but 🥺 I play it 🥺 are you uncomfortable with me🥺 i have a friend you don't know him he said it's okay🥺🥺#so glad I never have to deal with those people again. I thought I could help because we DID have the girl who was my friend who needed#someone to speak for her because she was busy and couldn't come to meetings all the time and I. ahhhhhh#fuck harry potter. fuck harry potter fuck Harry Potter FUCK HARRY POTTER#rant
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ok apparently 30 tags is the limit on tumblr and I'm putting it here because I couldn't put it in the tags
for my own curiosity, because my tragedy enjoying boggles the minds of a bunch of my irl social circle.
#poll is over but screw it i wanna rant#4 for me i think???#i don't feel like exposing my tastes too much but i usually need a good ending. or if not straight up good i need hope#like the few stories that made me unable to think about anything else for a while were all really dark#(by my standards i'm sure there's darker stuff out there)#with an ambiguous ending. but like. i prefer some closure. one book i read#it was very good and very famous but i will NOT name it here#had hopelessness as the whole point (specifically going against a system as an individual)#and it made me feel really bad for several weeks. like. i'm not mad about it. i think it was the point to make people uncomfortable#but also i kinda... need to be able to function in day to day life yknow. i can't be just thinking about amazing stories that broke me#i like angst. i'm finally in my emo phase. i want the characters to suffer but also win in the end. and if the suffering is really bad#that's probably the kind of dark fiction i enjoy. they don't even always have to win. i like it when something is basically#lost before you even start fighting#i guess it's about hope again (and having that hope crushed at the end)#but like. i still would prefer if it didn't end there and things slowly got better again#like i would say evangelion is pretty dark. but its ultimate ending was Good (I think. based on what i remember). things got Better#and then. sigh. euphoria is DEFINITELY dark and it ends just after they escape. the world isn't welcoming. they don't#have anywhere to go. but they are out and together. that's honestly one of my favorite endings ever#one of the reasons why i can't shut up about the gamd#game*#and my current favorite fanfiction has many dark elements but overall seems to be following the source material's progression#as in. things are Bad but they're not bad enough to stop trying. also it's set between two of the games#so like... no matter what happens i know how things end. which is comforting#and i guess i have to atleast mention this#kingdom hearts is light (ahahaahhahh) but also... it has a lot of fluff for sure. and i don't really like fluff for the sake of fluff#i honestly really enjoy it only in fanfics for stories where the characters don't get a break and you just want them to be happy for once#one of my guilty pleasures in fanfic is high school aus (i blame snk junior high for that)#it's stupid and the stakes are low but the characters are happy. and sometimes i need stuff like that#so like YEAH i guess i still prefer lighter stuff#but some dark stories are good. and others are good but i can't read them for my sanity's sake
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still on my bullshit. one of many.
I have not been the most prolific writer recently so my gay agenda is not being spread (ohhh I wish someone I knew who also promised me they would could spread it for me ohhh), but despite ALL ODDS being against me I am still enamoured with Van Helsing/Renfield. It's just that I have the writer's equivalent of erectile dysfunction. The spirit is willing the flesh is weak yada yada.
Anyhow I realized just now that, in my head, Van Helsing is just... progressively... getting shorter... Maybe not literally, but in my mind's eye, I see him shrinking into a wide little man. A jaunty little crab. Now, in my initial height chart, Renfield only has a couple inches on him, and the difference isn't even very clear, what with Renfield slouching a few inches because he is weighed down by Immense Sadness. So, I'm in the shower upset like "am I that much of a fucking whore that I need a significant height difference THAT BAD", and that could be it, but recently I'm more obsessed with Angry Short x Silly Tall (AKA most Wolverine ships), so where is this coming from? Van Helsing is Silly Short and Renfield is Angry Tall and I don't know what other ships---
Voxman. Boxman and Professor Venomous. How did I write Van Helsing and Renfield from Classic Horror Novel to mimic the dynamic of Boxman and Venomous completely on accident? And WHYYYYY am I having this epiphany alone in the shower and not surrounded by likeminded friends and allies who can nod knowingly and say "I see I see"? It's because the world does not see my VISION. COWARDS, THE LOT OF THEM.
#once again i manage to enjoy media in a way that is nearly completely divorced from the source#which creates a deep sense of isolation#where my only defence against slipping into despair is to yell 'they don't know what they're missing' to my tumblr audience#like a doomsday preacher signalling the end times to unfazed passersby
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