#once I get started it's hard for me to stop;;; but as usual the TL;DR is highlighted

[buckaroundandfindout]

how I know I grew up: civil war edition

When CA:CW first came out, I was def "team tony" bc I liked Tony Stark the most because he was snarky and funny and quippy and sarcastic I hadn't really gotten into the Cap movies (like, I saw them but hadn't really paid as much attention until Civil War).

When I did finally get into the Cap movies and then re-watched CA:CW, I realized I'd lived a lot of life that had taught me a few things the #1 of which being picking a team is pointless and getting "upset" at either Cap or Tony and taking a side is futile (for me, at least) and fully not the point, even from an in-world character perspective.

The TL;DR of it is that Steve is the guy we (probably) aspire to be: very strong moral compass, rock-solid conviction, always seems to know what's right and what he stands for, and fully will go die on that hill. He owns his failures even if they're big fuck up failures, and sees it all through to the end. He has truly incredible, breathtaking resilience. He will always, always, always keep trying. He stays his course and will keep on the path that moral compass shows him, come hell or high water. Not afraid to do the hard thing, especially if it's right. Doesn't really care what others think of him, weirdly, and is unconcerned with people pleasing in the face of doing the right thing. Phenomenally loyal friend who will go to the ends of the earth and war with half the planet for people he cares about, and still not leave those he falls out with hanging. Most people, I think, should want to be Steve Rogers (and by extension, Sam Wilson).

But then I look at the trajectory of my life, and I realize the reality is that I am way more like Tony-- continually going through cycles of making questionable-to-outright-BAD decisions with really good intentions, but that result in bad-to-catastrophic consequences, and then letting the obsessive guilt spiral swing you so hard the opposite direction that the overcompensation ends up usually resulting in such truly shitty collateral damage that makes you wonder if you were better off the first time around. But you can't seem to stop and so you just do your best, looking forward and not back, trying and failing and fucking up and stumbling through the mess of your best attempts to do just one good thing right and have it work out for once without nuking your life and losing most of your friends.

I think that's why it works so well, because in a weird way I think most people are "rooting" for both sides: we root for Cap because we want to BE him, we also empathize and want to see Tony succeed because we kind of are Tony.

The actual issues, the accords, etc., seem like they're just proxies to emphasize the conflict of the dynamic (one side being "standing your ground for your + what is effectively your minority group's personal freedom & autonomy as well as clearing the name of your framed best friend" and the other being "can we be trusted to be left to our own devices to make the 'right' choice when it has such high-stakes consequences? who even knows what is 'right' at all? …and can maybe someone else decide because the guilt around having it be my personal responsibility is starting to wring me out because I can't seem to stop fucking up and its eating me alive")

it's like… maybe not even about one VS the other, but more like you want this guy who is everything you aspire to be to come out on top to re-solidify your conviction in the kind of standards you try to live up to, but who we empathize with more bc it's more realistically as slice of ourselves-- we can't bear to see lose because that hits a little too fucking close.

or something, idk

[guardevoir]

Fiber arts update!

The postal service gods have smiled upon me and gotten me my wheel a day early, huzzah!

I might just be developing kit-based stockholm syndrome, but putting this thing together was actually kinda fun. Easier than the loom and, hilariously, less frustrating than the fucking bobbin winder, even if it did take absolutely forever. Also, I like the way it sounds (or... doesn't sound like much, as the case may be), I like the way it looks, I like how sturdy it is. And I think I'm starting to really enjoy the way it spins, too.

On the other hand? I have thoughts.

Why is there no convenient place to put fiber. Why are the sliding hooks so goddamn hard to operate smoothly. And, honestly, I don't mind the double treadle, but I also still do not understand why it exists. It makes direction control harder, with no notable upside that I can see.

I'm also fighting a desperate battle against the concept of scotch tension. I mean, I did pick a single drive wheel kind of deliberately, because there's upsides to it that double drive does not have (like how the drive band isn't a non-euclidean nightmare of horribleness)... but goddamn it, I really didn't appreciate the smooth, incredibly even take-up of my old wheel enough until now. You put the tension somewhere, and unless something catches in the orifice, that's the tension you're gonna get, no ifs and buts. The Kiwi 3, meanwhile, likes to periodically tug at my fiber and it's weirding me the fuck out. At least tension's about as easy to adjust as my double-drive wheel (which, thanks to its center-screw setup, is probably a great deal easier than average for double-drive), but also just as finicky.

The "no convenient place to put fiber" thing is annoying, though. The vintage wheel has all kinds of bits and bobs that you can fix your WIP to in a pinch, plus a nice handy distaff, while the Kiwi 3 spins, and anything beyond that single function is kind of a "not my goddamn job" kinda deal.

I do appreciate the orifice hook slot, though.

I have also somehow STILL MISPLACED the orifice hook about half a dozen times in the last few hours. I am incorrigible.

The most interesting takeaway is that I was kinda scared that I'd get a new spinning wheel and realize that my old one is crap. This is definitely not what happened. Despite all my grumbling, I do like the Kiwi and I'm very happy to have it, but I'm also realizing all the upsides of the vintage wheel that I took for granted. Like how easy it is to get it started in the right direction with barely a tap of my foot, (almost) no matter which position it's in. The even take-up. The feather-light tension. The distaff. The nub I can wrap my spin around when taking a break. The fact that, when I stop treadling, both flyer and bobbin stop at the same time.

On the other hand, I will admit to never taking the bobbin off of that vintage wheel unless I absolutely have to. To wind off, I usually just lower the tension all the way and let the bobbin free-spin, because fuck that. And the Kiwi also doesn't make me smack my shins into a wooden base on a regular basis. AND I got the high-speed whorl for it so now I have ratios from 5.5:1 all the way to 15:1, and it's glorious. Plus, it's a whole lot quieter. And as much as I don't like the specific way they set up the sliding hooks, they're still much, much more pleasant than the double-threaded nightmare I had to pull off on the vintage wheel half the time.

TL;DR: new wheel good, once I get my blending board and really figure out the tension on the Kiwi, I'll be so fucking powerful you folks

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Heyy, it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted, even longer since I’ve been consistent. I would say I’ve been busy but that would be a lie because I haven’t actually had less time than usual to post. Truth is some stuff’s gone down, partially on this very platform, and it’s made it very hard to post. If you don’t want to read a kind of venty angsty personal post the TL;DR is I’ll get back to posting semi-regularly once I’ve dealt with some stuff but I promise it has nothing to do with the people who interact with my blog. You’re the highlight of my day even if it’s “just” a like and I’m sorry for the recent dip in posts.

I don’t wanna go into detail because surprise! I don’t actually like going out of my way to create drama with people and one person involved has essentially harassed me on every platform we share. That’s why I haven’t spoken about this before, and I’m only saying this now because I realized I’ve forgotten to respond to several reblogs and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m ignoring them or abandoning this blog or anything. Basically, I feel bad about leaving without explanation and also I kind of want to vent? So without getting too specific: A close friendship recently died a slow, torturous death over several months, slowly getting worse until the other person threw me in the trash like I meant nothing. Then he came back two weeks later and tried to guilt trip me for being upset at him for how he treated me.

In that two week period some stuff went down on Tumblr here and well… there’s no way to sugarcoat this, so I’ll be blunt: it’s made me terrified to post anything on here. Every time I want to post something I feel sick to my stomach with dread because what if it’ll happen again? Or, alternatively, what if I’m next? And it sucks because I’m not even 100% sure it was aimed at me, but it lines up a little too perfectly and maybe I’m paranoid and it’s all on me but maybe it’s not and if that’s the case… I’d rather be wrong, for once, but the problem is that there’s no way to know for certain. I’ve been stewing in this weird, complicated mishmash of emotions and confusion and I honestly have no idea how to deal with it. I thought time would help, as it usually does, but clearly this is a special case.

Before anyone says it, yes. I’m aware that this is a subtweet, which is not a cool or nice thing to do unless it’s a joke between friends. That’s another thing that made me not want to post this. I hate being mean to people who aren’t mean to me first, and as I said I have no solid proof from a trustworthy source without ulterior motives that this had anything to do with me (which is what I usually use as my standard for when to start hitting back) but I just can’t seem to let it go. Every time I have an AU I wanna share I get this creeping, uncomfortable, clawing feeling crawling underneath my skin and tightening in my chest and I hate it. I hate it so much I cannot even describe it properly.

It makes me wanna scrape my skin off with sandpaper and scrub myself clean from the inside out with an iron sponge. I wanna claw my heart out of my chest and shake it until it stops feeling like this and the only comfort here is that I’ve found some fancy new descriptions to use in my writing. Speaking of: I’ll post on AO3 again soon, hopefully today or tomorrow, but just like with my blog I’m so drained of energy and I feel so nauseous about posting I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it again, which sucks because I love posting on all these platforms! It shouldn’t feel like a chore but it does now and I don’t know if there’s anything that’ll ever make it fully go away. It’s become more manageable, hence why I’m posting this, so I’m clinging to the hope it’ll all ebb away at some point. Until then though my posting schedule is gonna be even more inconsistent than it usually is, so I’m very sorry about that. Hope you all have a wonderful day and I’m sorry about the venty post I’ve subjected you to 😅

[thegreenleavesofspring]

How do you tear yourself away once you created a hole of sin for yourself? I'm trying to stop sinning- especially with what I ship (I won't go into details but it's bad) I want to go back to christ and I don't know what to do

Me personally? Usually several weeks to a month of combination beating myself up and sulking before I break and end up ugly crying on my bathroom floor or under my couch or somewhere else weird while sobbing out prayers. It's not a process I actually recommend, however.

More seriously, though. There are a few things to keep in mind:

He actually really, really wants you to talk to Him again. He wants to restore that broken relationship. He is not standing ready with a rod - those stripes already fell on another back. He is standing ready with a hug and immeasurable love.

No matter how filthy you feel (and I speak here from experience) His blood is sufficient to wash it all gone. Say the word and repent, and it'll be gone. One of Satan's favorite tactics is tricking us into beating ourselves up over something that the very God of the Universe has obliterated from His memory.

(This is a lesson that I'm still learning.)

That part is, once you can screw yourself up to it, easy enough. It's easy enough to repent. It's breaking the habit of the sin that is oh so hard. Not backsliding right back into it all. And I'm sorry, there is no quick and easy fix for that. (I really wish there were.) It's a teeth-gritted drawn out process. I do some of the usual recommendations - a bit of Bible reading every morning, forcefully turning my thoughts into other directions, thinking of what He suffered for our sin - this can make you lose your taste for it, at least right then, very abruptly; to think of yourself pounding in the nails - any sort of distraction to pull one's mind away from the immediate temptation and back to God.

That said, I'm going to be presumptuous and make some guesses and assertions based on you saying the problem is your shipping specifically. And I'm going to guess that maybe you've got some unhealthy relationships with relationships in general, or will. Or maybe not! But maybe look into that.

That aside, it might be useful to look into what, exactly, about the ship or ships draws you in. If it's just straight-up perversion, yeah scrap that for good. If there are other elements, however, deconstruct it and pick out what exactly it is that you like. Is it the characters' personalities? Backgrounds? Chemistry? Something else? If you can take the elements that aren't sinful and apply them elsewhere, you can start realigning your own preferences into something healthier.

That's the thing; all relational and sexual perversion is Satan's twisting of something very, very good - something designed specifically to mirror Christ's relationship with His Church. There's nothing inherently wrong with shipping as long as it's done right, or liking two compatible characters. I've seen a lot of people do genderbenders to make M/M or F/F ships M/F; I've got no personal opinion on that either way.

But ultimately: pray. Pray pray pray pray pray pray pray. You can't do this. Straight up? You can't do it. Not by your own power. You have to want to. You have to be willing to strive to. But you'll never, ever do it alone. You can't. He's got to do His work in you. And you have to ask Him to.

You can't tear out of that hole. The only way to get out of that hole is to just suck it up and go "Hey. God. I really messed up, I messed up so much, and I need You to do something about it." Pride is a big fat horsechoker pill going down (speaking from experience) and it can make a body squirm to go crawling back feeling absolutely filthy (speaking from experience) especially if it's instance 3,257 of the exact same sin you've been trying to kick for years (speaking from experience) but it is, in the end, the only way out. You've gotta ask Him to throw you a rope, and the only way to do that is to start praying. Some denominations have you Confess it to either a priest or a member of a congregation, but ultimately you're going to have to pray about it anyway. (Speaking from experience.) No matter how much your flesh really, really, really doesn't want to.

I know the guilt looks like an impassable brick wall. I promise it's not. It's an illusion. He's got a wrecking ball that can shatter those bricks into nothing and He's waiting for you to ask Him. Doesn't matter how many bricks, how high, how thick. That Blood can wash it all away.

TL/DR: Pray. Especially if you don't feel like you can or should.

I'm praying for you, Anon. ❤

[something-pithy]

(Quick) Notes and an Update: Come and Knock on My Door...

pictured above: Ascended Astarion before this Tav is like "Nah, bruh, i think this might be toxic OK gotta go bye" 5 Years Later...

Happy Tuesday, my sweet summer children!

And y'all salty ones, too :D

So Chapter 12 is up, and it's deadass over 5000 words of Astarion at different levels of unhinged and Tav at different levels of drunk af.

looool I mean, I had a lot of fun with it.

Quick Notes:

ON THE MF EPILOGUE:

OMG y’all, so Patch 5, amirite?!

Given the nature and content of an echo, a stain, OBVIOUSLY I AM EXCITE. 

A couple of things for the record:

Everything through Chapter 12 of this story was written as published before I saw any type of Ascendant epilogue. 

I don’t have an Ascendant Epilogue of my own to review because though I was in EA from jump and have 1700+ hours in this game (lol michaeljordangetsomehelp.gif), I've only completed one playthrough so far and I definitely failed the constitution check to complete the game with Astarion Ascended (listen, I love writing Ascendant Astarion but at the core of my being I'm here for ProcessingTrauma!Astarion and in the game, that's my SpawnStarion, baby)

My beta watched a video of the Ascendant epilogue and took notes, then gave me a bulleted list an echo, a stain was right about both in the parts that have been published, the parts that are still in progress, and the notes/outline for the rest of the story... loool it's a long list. tl;dr an echo, a stain remains pretty canon-compliant even post-epilogue.

I'm going to stop promising things about what I'm going to write in my notes. I really always do this with the best intentions, but once I drop a chapter, very frequently the day gets away from me because dropping the chapter took longer than I thought and/or I have other things to do.

If you have a specific meta question, don't hesitate to ask! I'm a teacher and a librarian and there's nothing I believe harder than "There are no dumb questions."

Normally I try to put out two new chapters each week, but after I dropped Ch 12 I started working on what was supposed to be Ch 13 and this motherfucker turned out to be 24 pages / 10K words.

I'm going to do my damnedest to get it posted today, but the revision process on this thing is already more involved than usual for a number of reasons. My incredible beta whomst I don't even deserve and I are working hard on figuring out how the MANY different things that happen in those 10K words best go together, best fit into the story, and also fix my Britishisms because during that torrent of word vomit I definitely started slipping into my native New Yorker / New Jerseyan f-bomb city patterns here and there. looool

Aight beautiful people, that's what I've got for now. I actually honestly do have about 2K words on alignment, good vs. evil, how they work (in my opinion) in BG3 and this story that are going to be pretty relevant to the HECKIN CHONKER of stuff that's coming up soon, but... we'll get there when we get there. Have a delicious day!

[sincerely-sofie]

Hello Sofie! Feel free to ignore this ask if it’s too personal. I wanted to ask if there were ever times you questioned your faith/beliefs? While I’m not super religious, I am faithful to the one I am aligned too, but I find myself almost giving up on it. I’m kind of struggling with it atm. If you have questioned it, what brought you back to it?

There have absolutely been times I've questioned my faith and beliefs— heck, there have been times I flip flopped between identifying as an agnostic and even atheist! I struggled to feel the Spirit during these moments in my life, which was the root of my wavering faith, I think— so I gave myself time to feel the Spirit again.

Sometimes our ability to feel the influence of God wanes. In my church, it's an established facet of the doctrine that anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses can dampen or even entirely block one's ability to feel the Spirit for a time. That doesn't mean God has stopped trying to talk to you— it just means your metaphorical phone's cell reception is exceptionally spotty at the moment. At those times, it's important to stay where you can feel God's love, even if you don't feel it right at this very moment.

For me personally, what helped me revitalize my zest for my religion was just staying in the boat, so to speak. I still went to church. I still prayed when I usually prayed. I still participated in family scripture study. I was frequently depressed and lacked energy as a result, so I struggled to read the scriptures on my own time... So I started watching the videos my church puts out to inspire and uplift people instead. It was less intensive and shame-inducing than my ADHD-uphill-battles to read the scriptures, and it really helped me feel the Spirit in special little glimpses when I hadn't felt it for months beforehand.

There's a bigger thing that I started doing, though, and I credit it with giving me a strong bond with and confidence in God. I started praying a lot. I didn't spend my entire day on my knees with my arms folded and eyes closed, though. I would pray in my thoughts as I went about my tasks. I'd be doing homework and feeling horrible and anxious beyond words, and I'd lean back in my seat and vent to God. "Heavenly Father, the teacher didn't even mention this topic in our lessons! I'm so frustrated! Why would someone not teach something that's on their test?! It's so stupid! I'm so stupid! Why can't I get this right?" I'd be super passionate about a fandom or a ship and ramble to Him about it while drawing in my sketchbook. "They're such a cute couple, I don't get why [Friend's Name] doesn't ship them. Her ship is cute too though, so I guess it makes sense. I really love this one song from the soundtrack— it's got this amazing part towards the middle with a violin and piano, and it gives me goosebumps whenever I listen to it, and..."

It wasn't all the time, but I would occasionally get these moments where I could feel His joy when I was happy and His sorrow when I was mean to myself. And the more I watched videos that uplifted me (I watched this one over and over, and it moves me to tears and makes me feel heard and loved even to this day) and prayed and put myself in situations where I could possibly feel spiritually invigorated, over time I started to feel the Holy Ghost more and more, until I could finally live life with the former passion I had for my religion— and even eventually surpass it to a whole new level.

For a TL;DR of what principles restored my zest for my faith— keep doing the things that once made you feel spiritual, even if they don't immediately reinvigorate you. Pray to God like you're on the phone with a friend. If mental illness is making it hard for you to worship, adapt to and overcome those trials however you can (like listening to scriptures as audiobooks if you have a hard time reading, listening to hymns if you have a stupor of thought while praying, or watching inspirational church videos if you can't focus on verses whether they're written or spoken aloud). Wait it out. Eventually, if you keep doing the things that once brought the Spirit into your life, it will come back, and with it will come the fire in your heart for your faith.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I was summoned? Gosh I did just wake up from a nap fair warning.

So by all accounts the tour Is selling pretty damn well, I don't think people realise how ticket prices nd tour prices are done. So, let me give you the lowdown

(This is all based on work I did with my music business performance and tech qualification in college *the bit before uni for americans* and reseach and continued work so take that into account)

When a tour is arranged they consider a few things.

Costs, obviously they have to look at the cost of the tour and make sure they have more money than that by a bit to have emergency and contingency funds. This includes stuff like work visas, venues, set, staff. All of that is considered

Breaking even, most tours are only really concerned with minimally breaking even or making their money back. To do that most tours set their break even point FAR BELOW the max ticket sales. To ensure they don't lose money, they try to set it around half (give or take a quarter either side) so they don't have to charge too much while still making money.

Profit, so this, once you hit that break even point provided you don't have costs you don't have to front or invoices you still have to pay everything beyond it us profit. Profit is also generated through online interactions, merch sales (like the 10th ani. Which is why I'd wager it was so expensive)

Contingency, so this is money you usually leave to the side at the start but I don't trust Jamie so we are gonna assume that actually he'd take his contingency from the profits. I don't actually knwo who the tour manager is this time so I'm running on the assumption it's the company. But even then most of the time contingency doesn't get spent. Its just in case money. For any surprise costs.

These are the very very basics we need to talk about in regards to the 1975 tour.

First, it's their first proper stadium tour in a while. At least outside the UK. So it's not expected to sell out. Especially not considering the recent controversies the boys have been through. So one could argue the tour Is selling really well considering.

Second, they've chosen their areas for a reason. When your doing an expensive theatrical stadium tour you need to consider the areas your going to and how much of that venue your actually gonna fill. There's no point booking the O2 if all your fans are in Scotland. And while I can't personally look at the sales statistics and their demographic statistics I'd reckon they've picked their spots wisely (look even idaho likes music) based those stats.

Third, it's really early in the tours life cycle, as in its not even in full swing yet. So most people won't be buying this far in advance if they aren't hard-core fans dying for a ticket. A lot of people wait until its closer to the time (mostly financial reasons and psychological reasons) so it's not fair to judge on how the sales are right this second (still good though) a lot of casuals buy tickets fairly close to shows (insane I know)

If the tour were going to be cancelled. It would have been by now. Unless something extreme happens its unlikely because the boys should have broken even by now and maybe made a small profit. There's other more complex stuff too but this is already a very long ask so I'll stop here

TL/DR I promise they don't need to sell out to break even or profit. They've been touring a while they know how many they average at live concerts and stadiums so they've likely taken the average amount of attendees for a concert and halved it for their break even point. They're smart. They've done this 10 years. Have a little faith in them. P.s most of the twitter people saying that legit just want to see the band fail or stay small and indie for them.

THANK YOOUUUU!!!! yeah I think the statement “this tour is failing” is your equivalent of saying “Beetlejuice” three times. Like if anyone says that, you materialize with info hahahaha

No, this is super, super helpful and informative! For someone who doesn’t know much about music or touring and is just going off of common sense and vibes, like I learned a lot from this!!!

Here y’all go. Twitter do be Twitter-ing which is a surprise to literally nobody. It’s the least thoughtful platform out there and not at all conducive to…like…facts or rational thought haha. Everybody say thank you Ambrose.

[witch-renna]

This is a serious PSA right here:

If you use AI programs that involve singing or TTS. DO NOT USE VOICES THAT USE PEOPLE YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO USE IT FOR.

TL;DR: Do not use user-generated AI Voices if the original VA did NOT give permission. It is extremely harmful and disgusting, these Voice Actors are real people and imagine if you had your voice singing about objectively weird subject material.

I do not care if you just wanna fun. I do not care if you just want to do something at all. If you don't have their permission, do not use it.

Why am I making such a big deal out of this? Because currently a high profile Voice Actress, Erica Lindbeck, has resorted to deleting all social media due to one of these AI covers. While not solely due to it, the harassment she has received over this has seemed to made her so uncomfortable and or plain turned off, she just decided to not even try.

You may ask, if it was just the harassment why does the cover part matter? Because she was also, if not obvious, disturbed that her voice was being forced to sing an inappropriate song, again using her own voice. Additionally, you may be asking "But why does it actually matter?" and here is the answer:

Vocal Synthesis especially in singing and TTS has been founded in consent. While I am not very confident about TTS history, Vocal Synthesis, which is usually the act, in context of fandom, technology that is usually sample-based or generative using a Voice Actor. A form of this very familiar to the online zeitgeist is Hatsune Miku, a Vocaloid. Vocaloid is a once formed concatenative(A form of using samples to be able to be synthesized that combines consonants and vowels separately) Vocal Synth created by Yamaha Corporation. However, from its inception, this method requires consent from a Voice Actor to produce. The process cannot even start without this.

This process has been carried with every single current professional Voice Synth. Additionally, it has been a rule for most TTS, or speaking synthesizer products. And if you really don't know, you might be asking why? The answer is simple, if there wasn't consent well, lawsuits galore would be had and rightfully so. But also, it is so morally dark. With these and any program that uses these methods, users can make the voice say anything, including racist, homophobic, highly sexual and other sorts of possibly disgusting content.

Let me say, if you don't think you still see the issue let me explain. While I understand it can be hard to view Voice Actors are not their characters or really as people like me and you. Just imagine if someone did this to you. Yes, possibly a random person. They take your voice and are able to make you sing anything. While most likely they wouldn't make you sing something offensive, they could. But even then they did this intentionally by taking your voice. Would that not make you uncomfortable as fuck? Would you not feel uneasy? This is how these singers or voice actors actually feel because it is their reality. Most of these people don't live lavish lives, they just get payed to talk in a microphone and they get by. They're not out-of-touch celebrities(usually).

This is to say, they're not special. Inherently, they don't have super-strength. They see the world like you. Why do I emphasize this? Because it could and should put into perspective their fear and overall feelings are justified. On-top of all this, all of it and potentially career-ruining stuff. Do you see how video game companies are using AI to make stuff? Once they figure this out there will be a push to do similar stuff. They want to be able to just live their lives. And no, your AI cover will not be the reason their career fails or they stop making money. But if a Voice Actor tells you to delete your cover, fucking do it. They literally just want to not see their voice be misused and their entire being disrespected.

If you want to make AI covers, that's ok. There are ways to do this in other ways. Those Synths I mentioned earlier like Vocaloid, have AI Voicebanks that can produce a similar result. Others like Synthesizer V are free and you can use lower quality versions of full AI Voicebanks for FREE and FOREVER. You can even make your own voice sing with programs like Enunu or NNSVS or use other very good singers that gave their voice for you to use with consent.

So in conclusion, please understand where I am coming from. You are not inherently a terrible person for making these covers, listening to them or anything. It is only when you knowingly disrespect a Voice Actor when it becomes too far. But you still shouldn't use them or make them, in this form. Thanks!

>People use tech to literally replicate a voice that isn't theirs without consent.

>Original Voicer is like oh hey please don't do this it makes me uncomforatable/just don't like it.

>Idiots who don't know anything about Vocal Synthesis and its history harass this person into deleting social media and not wanting to do anything to their CAREER for a while.

If I catch any of you disrespecting Voice Actors or literally anyone's voice to play with like a doll and then being surprised they aren't ok with it. It's on sight.

[littlecafe]

asdfhakal okay yes hi HELLO it has been SO LONG ㅠㅜ I missed you and your playlists (*˙˘˙*)!♡

off topic and ik you didn't ask but the chokehold ONEWE and ONEUS has on me rn is no joke

actually I can lead this on topic, would love to see a playlist of your current faves!

hi!! omg yes it's been so long!! you took a hiatus for a while right? i missed seeing you on my dash (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

ohhh i was thinking of making a playlist with just current favs so i'll do this and @ you in the post when it's up since it might take a few days, i'm currently in my "building a new listening to playlist" phase bc i'm tired of my old one rip

asfjhsdjfdsf no i totally get the music chokehold bc that's me too like sometimes i'll be super obsessed with like one or two artists and start listening to them on repeat

onewe and oneus aren't in my current music rotation but i do like quite a few of their songs!! i was really into onewe's single "memory: illusion" when it came out, all 3 songs on there *chef's kiss* and i'm going to derail this convo so hard but for some reason the mixing on that single!! it felt so clear (ramblings in read more, tl;dr go see ur fav kbands live if you can!! there is a reason why live band music sounds better bc i feel production aren't doing most of them justice)

idk if you're interested but i came across this the other day (i haven't even watched it yet lol) but someone subbed some parts of the naver now yoon sang's "music to you" kband bassist special cya was on (the other two bassists are lucy's wonsang and cnema's jeongho)

rambling because sometimes i just need to word vomit my thoughts, disclaimer i do not claim to know anything i'm talking about and everything is purely anecdotal

but anyways!! i honestly cannot tell you why i loved the mixing of that single so much, maybe it's mediocre mixing i wouldn't know but i just felt like i could actually HEAR things for once like it was crisp and actually had depth to the songs

usually in kband mixing a lot of the lower range instruments aren't loud enough on the track so you end up hearing a lot of vocals and guitar and some drum taps, every now and then bass but usually only if the song or part was meant to highlight bass....and the worse part of all this is that sometimes even the guitar is muddy which makes the song sound flat because you're missing those lows

like you know i love them and this just proves that "bad" production will never stop me if i like the song but the mixing on most of day6's songs were not very good......

an example (youtube links so the audio will not be top notch due to youtube compression but i think you can tell anyways): sweet chaos official audio vs sweet chaos live

already from the beginning you can tell the deeper sound from dowoon's drums aren't captured at all in the official audio like it's already muddied when that's the highlight of the opening it's literally just him and mtr how can u already mess this up

fast forward to the chorus, you can 100% hear youngk's bass sound better in the live than in the audio where you have to squint with your ears to even try to guess if you're hearing bass or just guitar under their vocals

in the live you can also clearly hear the difference in the two guitars when jae does lead and sungjin does rhythm, while it's all muddied together in the audio like if i'm being real, i can't even hear the lead guitar parts in the audio tbh like where did it go, in the live you can hear all the small tidbits and how he plays along to the melody line under the vocalist at parts in the chorus

same thing with the outro as the intro but this time with the bass, it's really buried and softened under the vocals on the official audio when you can clearly hear it in the live version (and as you should? because it's the only instrument being highlighted here other than vocals and some mtr)

also ftisland, for pure example purposes because from what i remember the mixing is actually great, don't search it up if it makes you uncomfortable knowing that j*nghoon has credits for lyrics and composition of this song (fuck him fr im glad ftisland disowned him publicly) but their song shadows (japanese release) was mixed by Josh Wilber who has led production for multiple metal bands so that audio actually came out GOOD

this song is pretty grungy, especially in the chorus but i felt like nothing got lost on the audio, the two guitars, the bass, the drums, obviously the vocals too it's all there it's like magic asjhfkdsf to me it sounds even more clear than their live albums (yes i know these go through a whole production too so it still will never top being there LIVE and hearing it as they play with your own ears)

ftisland's mixing is hit or miss but i don't mind it i just wanted to talk about that one specific song since it was mixed by someone who actually worked with heavy rock based music

so yea anyways the mixing for kbands can sometimes leave a lot to be desired and it makes me happy when i feel like i can hear more sounds i feel like production is so underrated since we know the lyricists, composers, arrangers but no noise for post production

i'm pretty sure that's why all of them sound infinitely better live like even without all the concert remixes and crowd hype they can be playing the damn song with no changes from the audio and it will sound better just because you can actually hear the instruments in their fullness

so this is a psa to go see ur favorite band playing live if you can!!

obviously mixing/post production applies to all music even if i'm only rambling about bands here asjhksdfds

[abduct-me-helen]

r/legaladvice

Posted by u/ebouchard 2 months ago

My husband has embarrassed me at the annual institute holiday party for the last time. I want another divorce.

My husband, soon to be ex-husband if all goes as planned, was leering at an archival assistant the other day. He also had a bit too much to drink, and started talking about various…personal activities that I would’ve preferred be undisclosed. Now, I’ve divorced him before, but this time he seems fit to antagonize me and not sign the papers. Not just that, but he’s also disappeared, which isn’t uncommon but is still frustrating when I’m trying to divorce him. He always gets in a hissy fit when I divorce him, but this time he’s just being petty.

Is there a way to divorce him without needing to track him down in order to have him sign the papers? He’s the captain of a ship and when he gets…petulant, he often sails for a few months before returning to his moorhouse. During these times, it’s notoriously hard to contact him, much less find him.

tl;dr: my husband ran away in an attempt to be petty and now I can’t divorce him. What do I do?

Edit: Please stop making remarks on the healthiness of our relationship. It’s none of your business, and we are perfectly fine.

Edit: We got divorced again since I made the first post.

Edit: We are now remarried again.

 crawbed008 3.1k points · 2 weeks ago

    | He always gets in a hissy fit when I divorce him, but this time he’s just being petty.

wait, what do you mean by “always”??

     ebouchard 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

             whenever I try to divorce him, he acts petulant.

                  sisenore_k 675 points · 2 weeks ago

                          do you divorce him often lmao???

                                    ebouchard 1.2k points · 2 weeks ago

                                        yes.

                          [expand]

getsome_69 352 points · 1 week ago

            op how many times have you two gotten divorced so far

                 ebouchard 2.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                       six, though there were a few we didn’t go through on legally.

                              kokobura2 126 points · 2 weeks ago

                                        SIX??? good god op why do you even keep remarrying

                                              ebouchard 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

                                                      money.

                                           stonks 782 points · 2 weeks ago

i know op in rl and the real reason is that they’re the    

only people willing to put up with each other

                                                                                   [expand]

r/relationship_advice

Posted by u/bigboyman 1 month ago

I (48M) feel like my husband is very clingy and I’m a person who needs solitude to survive. What should I do?

My husband is always talking to me. I just want to be left alone, but he just keeps on scheming. He’s always ranting about hiding tapes and the watcher’s crown and it is getting tedious having to listen to his, well, words in general.

How should I ask for more space?

 poorandtiredbutyolo 2.2k points · 2 weeks ago

I have a clingy partner too, and what I do is set clear boundaries. I also make sure to set time towards my partner outside of those times when I’m alone, like having dinner every night and having movie/games night once a week.

      bigboyman 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

           I interact with him far less already then I would if I did that.

                   asunachan3 203 points · 2 weeks ago

                        how much do you talk to him?                                   

                                     bigboyman 1.5k points · 2 weeks ago

                                               at least once every three months

asunachan3 203 points · 2 weeks ago

                                                                   and you’re MARRIED?!???

                                                                            bigboyman 1.2k points · 2 weeks ago

I know, it’s a lot. You see why I can’t stand him being so clingy?

[expand]

 tania9 421 points · 2 weeks ago

    from reading the replies, I can only assume you hate your husband.

                bigboyman 1k points · 2 weeks ago

                                despise, actually.

 [expand]

Pastasauceandspagett 608 points · 1 month ago

      I don’t know how OP could possibly salvage this relationship if they hate each other and only talk every three months.

bigboyman 4.2k points · 1 week ago

                                The wedding is in four days.

 Allicecarter2002 4.2k points · 1 week ago

                               I thought you were already married??

                                                                      bigboyman 4.2k points · 1 week ago

oh, we got divorced about a week after I made the post and then he proposed again a week after that.

                                                                                                 [expand]

 r/pettyrevenge

Posted by u/notjonnydville 3 weeks ago

I had my archival assistants spit in his tea.

My boss is a huge bastard. He is just, awful. He always looks like you’re amusing him but in that kind of way where he’s looking like you like a meal. He is just a horrible human being. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed someone. That’s the kind of person he is.

Anyway, I usually try to keep a professional relationship with my assistants but a few nights ago they invited me to go out for drinks with them and my friend blackmailed me into it. We got hammered. It was a truly…special experience. Ever since then, I’ve been on better terms with them. We even have a groupchat.

The situation goes like this: he’s been ranting to me for the last hour about things I ALREADY KNOW in that pompous, annoying voice of his. Anyway, I texted one of my assistants, I’ll call him M, and M comes in mid rant. I very sternly ask “why haven’t you made [our boss’s name, I’ll refer to him as E] tea yet?”

I kind of put him on the spot and he just stayed there with his jaw dropped. I told him to go make E a cup of tea, so he scurries out.

I wait about 30 seconds and then discretely text the groupchat: “spit in his tea M.”

Anyway, they go absolutely *ballistic* and T, another one of my assistants, sprints halfway across the building (I hear he even knocked into our secretary), just to spit in E’s tea too. My last assistant is a bit wearier but she does it too.

M comes back with the tea and hands it to E before quickly leaving. A few minutes pass and E still hasn’t touched his tea.

So I remind him that M makes very good tea and he’d be disappointed if E didn’t drink it.

There is a quiet battle of wills.

Now, I don’t know how to put this without sounding insane, but our boss…he just *knows* things. He’s psychic, or something like that. There is absolutely NO way he didn’t know the tea was messed with. He knows, he knows I know, and we silently stare at each other without moving.

Finally, *finally*, still making direct eye contact with me, he takes a sip of his tea and purses his lips. I ask him if he isn’t thirsty.

He says he isn’t, and leaves the room. I never did find out what happened to that tea.

tl;dr: I got my archival assistants to spit in my asshole bosses’ tea. It was glorious.

leavemealone 2k points · 2 weeks ago

    holy *shit*, OP, did you ever get in trouble????

           notjonnydville 2.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                   he didn’t have any evidence, so no.

maya_herse331 782 points · 1 week

    did he ever try to get revenge?

           notjonnydville 7.1k points · 2 weeks ago

                   he framed me for murder, but I’m still not sure if that was directly related.

                  [expand]

[blackstarising]

coming back to this post i made again to elaborate - especially as the ted lasso fandom is discussing sam/rebecca and fandom racism in general. there are takes that are important to make that i had failed to previously, but there's also a growing amount of takes that i have to, As A Black Person™, respectfully disagree with.

tl;dr for the essay below sam being infantilized and the sam/rebecca relationship are not the same issue and discussing the former one doesn't mean excusing the latter. and we've reached the glen of the Dark Forest where we sit down and talk about fandom racism.

i should have elaborated this in my last post about sam/rebecca, but i didn't. i'll say it now - i personally don't support sam and rebecca getting together for real. i believe what people are saying is entirely correct, even though sam is an adult legally, he and rebecca are, at the very least, two wildly different stages of life. for americans, he's at the equivalent of being a junior in college. there are things he hasn't gotten the chance to experience and there are areas he needs to grow in. when i was younger, i didn't understand the significance of these age gaps, i just thought it would be fine if it was legal, but as someone who is now a little older than sam in universe, i understand fully. we can't downplay this. whether or not you think sam works for rebecca or not, even despite the gender inversion of the Older Man Younger Woman trope, whether or not he is a legal adult, i don't think at this point in time, their relationship would work. i think it's an interesting narrative device, but i don't want to see it play out in reality.

that being said!

what's worrying me is that two discussions are being conflated here that shouldn't be. sam having agency and being a little more grown™ than he's perceived to be does not suddenly make his relationship with rebecca justified. i had decided to bring it up because sam was being brought into the spotlight again and i was starting to realizing that his infantilization was more common than i felt comfortable with.

sam's infantilization (and i will continue to call it that), is a microaggression. it's is in the range of microaggressions that i would categorize as 'fandom overcompensation'. we have a prominent character of color that exhibits traits that aren't stereotypical, and we don't want to appear racist or stereotypical, so we lean hard in the other direction. they're not aggressive, they're a Sweet Baby, they're not world weary, they're now a little naive. they're not cold and distant, they're so nice and sweet that there's no one that wouldn't want approach them, and yeah, on their face, these new traits are a departure and, on their face, they seem they look really good.

but at a certain point, it reaches an inflection point, and, like the aftertaste of a diet coke, that alleged sweetness veers into something a lot less sweet. it veers into a lack of agency for the character. it veers into an innocence that appears to indicate that the person can't even take care of themselves. it veers into a one-dimensional characterization that doesn't allow for any depth or negative emotion.

it's not kind anymore. it's not a nice departure from negative stereotypes. it's not compensating for anything.

it's patronizing.

it is important that we emphasize that characters of color are more than the toxic stereotypes we lay on them, yes, but we make a mistake in thinking that the solution is overcorrection. for one thing, people of color can usually tell. don't get it twisted, it's actually pretty obvious. for another, it just shifts from one dimension to another. people of color are still supposed to be Only One Character Trait while white people can contain multitudes. ted, who is pretty much as pollyanna as they come, can be at once innocent and naive and deep and troubled and funny and scared. jamie can be a prick and sexy and also lonely and also a victim of abuse. sam, however, even though he was bullied (by jamie, no less), is thousands of miles away from home, and has led a protest on his team, is usually just characterized as human sunshine with much less acknowledgement of any other traits beyond that.

and that's why i cringe when fandom calls sam a Sweet Baby Boy without any sense of irony. is that all we're taking away? after all this time? even for a comedy, sam has received a substantive of screen time over two whole seasons, and we've seen a range of emotions from him. so as a black person it's hurtful that it's boiled down to Sweet Baby Boy.

that's the problem. we need to subvert stereotypes, but more importantly, we need to understand that people of color are not props, or pieces of cardboard for their white counterparts. they are full and actualized and have agency in their own right and they can have other emotions than Angry and Mean or Sweet and Bubbly without any nuance between the two. i think the show actually does a relatively good job of giving sam depth (relatively, always room for improvement, mind you), especially holding it in tension with his youth, but the fandom, i worry, does not.

it's the same reason why finn from star wars started out as the next male protagonist in the sequel trilogy but by the third movie was just running around yelling for REY!! it's the same reason why when people make Phase 4 Is the Phase For Therapy gifsets for the mcu and show wanda maximoff, loki, and bucky barnes crying and being sad but purposefully exclude sam wilson who had an entire show to tell us how difficult his life is, because people find out if pee oh sees are also complex, they'll tell the church.

and the reason why i picked up on this very early on is because i am an organic, certified fresh, 100% homegrown, non-gmo, a little ashy, indigenous sub saharan African black person. the ghanaian tribes i'm descended from have told me so, my black ass parents have told me so, and the nurses at the hospital in [insert asian country here] that started freaking out about how curly my hair was as my mother was mid pushing me out told me so!

and this stuff has real life implications. listen: being patronized as a black person sucks. do you know how many times i was patted on the back for doing quite honestly, the bare minimum in school? do you know how many times i was told how 'well spoken' or 'eloquent' i was because i just happen to have a white accent or use three syllable words? do you know how many times i've been cooed over by white women who couldn't get over how sweet i was just because i wasn't confrontational or rude like they wrongly expected me to be?

that's why they're called microaggressions. it's not a cross on your lawn or having the n-word spat in your face, but it cuts you down little by little until you're completely drained.

so that's the nuance. that's the subversion. the overcompensation is not a good thing. and people of color (and i suspect, even white people) have picked up on, in general, the different ways fandom treats sam and dani and even nate. what all of these discussions are converging on is fandom racism, which is not the diet form of racism, but another place for racism to reveal itself. and yeah, it's uncomfortable. it can seem out of left field. you may want to defend yourself. you may want to explain it away. but let me tap the sign on the proverbial bus:

if you are a white person, or a person of color who is not part of that racial group, even, you do not get to decide what is not racist for someone. full stop. there are no exceptions. there is no exit clause for you. there is no 'but, actually-'. that right wasn't even yours to cede or waive.

(it's also important to note that people of color also have the right to disagree on whether something is racist, but that doesn't necessarily negate the racism - it just means there's more to discuss and they can still leave with different interpretations)

people don't just whip out accusations of racism like a blue eyes white dragon in a yu-gi-oh duel. it's not fun for us. it's not something we like to do to muzzle people we don't want to engage with. and we're not concerned with making someone feel bad or ashamed. we're exposing something painful that we have to live with and, even worse, process literally everything we experience through. we can't turn it off. we can't be 'less sensitive' or 'less nitpicky'. we are literally the primary resources, we are the proverbial wikipedia articles with 3,000 sources when it comes to racism. who else would know more than us?

what 2020 has shown us very clearly is that racism is systemic. it's not always a bunch of Evil White Men rubbing their hands together in a dark room wondering how they're going to use the 'n-word' today. it's systemic. it's the way you call that one neighborhood 'sketchy'. it's how you use 'ratchet' and 'ghetto' when describing something bad. it's how you implicitly the assume the intelligence of your friend of color. it's the way you turned up your nose and your friend's food and bullied them for it in middle school but go to restaurants run by white people who have 'uplifted' it with inauthentic ingredients. it's telling someone how Well Spoken and Eloquent they are even though you've both gone to the same schools and work at the same workplace. it's the way you look down at some people of color for having a different body type than you because they've been redlined to neighborhoods where certain foods and resources are inaccessible, and yet mock up the racial features that appeal to you either through makeup or plastic surgery.

it's how when a person of color behaves badly, they're irredeemable, but a white person performing the same act or something similar is 'having a bad day' or 'isn't normally like this' or 'has room to grow' and we can't 'wait for their redemption arc', and yes, i'm not going to cover it in detail in this post but yes this is very much about nate. other people have also brought up the nuances in his arc and compared them to other white characters so i won't do it here.

these behaviors and reactions aren't planned. they aren't orchestrated. they're quite literally unconscious because they've been lovingly baked into western society for centuries. you can't wake up and be rid of it. whether you intended it or not, it can still be racist.

and it's actually quite hurtful and unfair to imply that concerns about racism in the TL fandom are unfounded or lacking any depth or simply meant to be sensational because you simply don't agree with it. i wish it was different, but it doesn't work that way. i'm not raising this up to 'call out' or shame people, but i'm adding to this discussion because, through how we talk about sam, and even dani and nate, i'm yet again seeing a pattern that has shortchanged people of color and made them feel unwelcome in fandom for far too long.

coach beard said it best: we need to do better.

[sanguine-tenshi]

I just finished Inazuma and I have words

TL;DR: Hate the story, mixed on characters, love the design and tired of being treated like a 4-year-old with a learning disability.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with what I like.

Inazuma is absolutely beautiful. I’ll admit Inazuma hits a lot of aesthetic points for me. All the islands are different enough to feel unique but they still look like they are a part of the same land. There are a lot of secrets to discover through just exploring. Each island has a world quest to help it (make it less hostile towards you) so it very much feels like you are saving Inazuma from itself.

.

The puzzles are alright.

I like the cubes that rotate, I always put in the effort to figure them out properly.

Hate the ones that don’t rotate, they just aren’t engaging enough for me, so I just hit them at random and hope for the best.

The glowing floor tiles were fun, once you actually realized what they wanted you to do. A little bit too easy if I’m honest.

The electro compass isn’t really much of a puzzle, more of a fetch the nearest electrograna quest.

Those little pillars that require an electro connection are kinda boring to me, again not much of a puzzle, the hardest part is finding both pillars.

I love the new electro seelie, kinda hard to follow the jittery thing in certain parts but they make a nice contrast to the regular seelies.

.

I’m very much mixed on characters.

Yoimiya is adorable. She is so bright and bubbly. What little game play we had with her was fun and I love her over the top style of fighting. Kinda disappointed she’s another pyro archer but I do admit it fits her character well. It was also wonderful seeing her just settle down and be quiet, just be a part of that moment that obviously meant a lot to her. It’s always nice to see that bubbly, energetic character have that one quiet thing, ya know. Kinda funny it’s fireworks, of all things, for her.

Gorou I like, from what little we’ve seen of him. My man killed a dude with his thighs so I’m down. I do find it kinda ridiculous that a resistance general has his whole damn belly exposed. There is also something about his voice that just does not fit. I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what exactly it is. Could be the tone itself, could be just voice acting. It sort of feels like the VA is trying to sound deeper than he actually does.

Sangonomiya Kokomi, mixed. I like her design, she looks like some sort of mystical priestess. Again something about the voice is jarring. I expected her to sound sort of airy, like she isn’t 100% present, like she’s seeing something we can’t. TBH she reminds me of Luna from HP for some reason. 

Yae Miko, I was interested because of her design. She sounds very arrogant and up her own ass, which would have been fine...if she hadn’t given us that god-awful line. “...I have high hopes for you, child. Don’t disappoint me.” Dear lord I wanted to punt her off the mountain. Or fucking what! Also she’s some bigshot priestess of the Sacred Sakura and yet she can’t do her damn job properly. Why couldn’t her arrogant ass come down from her high perch and cleanse the stupid roots? Why did the traveler have to do that shit?

Baal looks dead inside. Booba sword is overrated, get a life. I want a remach! And no cutscene shenanigans this time!

Kujou Sara seems like one of those ‘honor above all else’ characters. Those are either hit or miss with me. You have my attention for now. Also what are those shoes woman?! I’d rather you wear those leg-killing, needle point stilettoes instead of those Wish gag shoes. How in the name of all that is holy can you run in those?!

Thoma, I like him. At first I thought we were gonna get another Childe incident, but Thoma is too much of a innocent puppy to pull anything that horrible. To me he fits a fox a lot better than Childe does. Childe is a dingo and I stand behind that.

Kamisato Ayaka...hate her. At first I was neutral on her. Nothing about her design really spoke to me, but I was willing to wait and see. But then miHoYo started to violently push her friendship at us. We are totally friends now, this is the first time you see my face, but we are so totally friends now. And during her story quest everyone was like “Ah, you are so good Ayaka. You are so nice Ayaka. You are so perfect Ayaka. We all love you so much Ayaka. And oh, how could a mere merchant like myself...” Ew, go away. This is the first time I’m actively not pulling on a character banner. Normally I pull even if I’m not particularly interested in a character, because you never know how good their gameplay is until you take them out in the map. But I think I’ll be skipping this one. No thanks.

.

And now, the worst part, the story.

We’ve been hearing about the situation in Inazuma for a long time. There has been also a lot of talk about how hard it is to get there. About the wall of thunderclouds that surround the islands. So to have it cut to black and then voila Inazuma, feel just so cheap.

I was expecting something. An animation. A struggle. A quest. A minigame. At least show us the horrible weather! Something! Anything!

Hell if they wanted to be assholes about it they could have made it so that if the player fails at this point the ship is damaged, you return to Liyue and have to wait until tomorrow for the ship to be repaired. No Inazuma for today. That sure as hell would have raised the stakes.

The next complaint I have is with Yurika, the 2 milion mora processing fee girl. Later on Thoma mentions that the agency people see the fees as easy money, so her attitude doesn’t make much sense. After all someone like her would want to extract as much money as she can, but you still want the people to be able to pay that.

So it would make more sense to me if she was overly friendly and asked way too many questions. She’d need to get a much information as she can and after all the previous hostility people would be very open with her. So she’d be able to quickly find out why someone is here, what they are selling and roughly how much money they’d be able to pay. A merchant selling expensive silk would have more many than a regular ore merchant. So she’d be able to extract as much money as she could.

“I know this is a lot of money, especially for something so simple, but there is nothing I can do about it. I’m so very sorry.” And people wouldn’t say anything bad to her because she’s the first friendly face they see in Inazuma.

The stealth mission was just god-awful and I hope we never have to do that nonsense again.

Getting off of Ritou was a bit janky at the end, Chisato should have had a better reason for coming along. But I’m honestly just glad we didn’t get out the usual way...getting stuffed in a crate and smuggled out.

As a side note, I’m getting really tired of characters overexplaining things to me, especially Paimon. Dear lord, not everything has to be said, you can leave me to come to my own conclusions and solutions. Just please, who cares if a few player struggle for a bit, you don’t have to hold my hand through the whole thing.

Ayaka’s three were...ugh. It was basic emotional manipulation. Oh no this guy forgot about the love of his life and he’s been waiting for decades. And oh how sad this guy was so good and he helped these people so much but now he can’t remember. And oh the tragedy this guy forgot his life goal and is now hunted by the demons of the past. Oh the humanity! 

And it did not work. Know why? Because I have no emotional investment in any of these people, in this land. What is happening to the vision bearers in Inazuma is tragic, true, but that doesn’t make me want to overthrow the government. I don’t live here. I just got here. I wanna ask a question or two and then move on. None of this concerns me.

I was so happy when the traveler just flat out refused to start a revolution. And then we had to go and meet some people and immediately I knew this was going to be some oh noes the tragedy moments and then we would agree to help them.

It’s so forced.

Wanna know what would have been better?

Just as we are leaving the Kamisato estate Thoma catches up with us. And he tells us he gets it. We are an outsider and this doesn’t concern us. He was hopeful but he expected the denial. We shouldn’t hold it against Ayaka.

He joins us as a guide because he knows of the people we have to meet.

And so as we help these three we also get to know Thoma. We find out he was an outsider too. He got in just before the worst of it started and then he was stuck in Inazuma. He lost someone to the Vision Hunt. They slowly lost their mind after loosing their vision, their ambition too closely tied to their personality to continue without it (what is happening to Domon hits a little too close to home and he has to walk away, this is where we hear the story of the one he lost). And the same would have happened to him if the Kamisatos hadn't taken him in. He owes them his vision, his sanity and his life.

So this rebellion is personal for him.

At the end of the three wishes the atmosphere is somber. We tell him we understand why Ayaka fights, why he fights. We know that this is all wrong, that it should be stopped...but not by us. We came here to get a lead on our brother. And rebellion isn’t an overnight affaire and we can’t loose so much time in Inazuma.

And yeah, he expected as much. He just asks that we let Ayaka down gently. It’d be a shame if someone as idealistic and hopeful as her lost their spark.

And so we are gentle but firm with Ayaka. She looks like she wants to argue with us but Thoma shakes his head at her. So she sighs and tells us that a promise is a promise. We should come to the Komore Teahouse in a few days and she’ll have a plan for us to meet with the Shogun.

Now we can still have a character story quest with Yoimiya and we can still somehow get involved with helping Master Masakatsu, but it’s through Yoimiya instead of Ayaka.

And instead of a character story quest with Ayaka we have one with Thoma. Hell, give him a whole damn hangout event even.

You can probably guess why I’m pushing the friendship with Thoma so much.

Because. He. Gets. Kidnapped. For. The. 100th. Vision. Ceremony. 

And that would have been the perfect emotional in to get us involved in the rebellion. After all we just saw what happens to people who have their visions taken away and we are not letting that happen to Thoma, someone we just got close to.

So Baal makes it personal for us as well.

.

I have a few more minor complaints.

Aoi is stupid for asking for compensation after she tells us everything we needed to know because, ya know, we could have just walked away. We should have.

The whole stupid misunderstanding about the value Kurosawa’s sword holds. Kinda obvious he meant emotional value instead of monetary.

The suspicious amount of visionless NPCs and by that I mean this is the first time we have NPCs with vision. This wouldn’t have been a problem if we’ve seen NPCs with visions in Mond and Liyue.

The whole rebellion camp bit feels incredibly rushed. We just sort of lollygag over there and then there is a fight (against Sara and her stupid shoes).

Don’t make us fight Baal just to force us to lose. It would have been better if we were forced to retreat, because Thoma was injured, because there are too many soldiers for us to handle on our own. Hell, you can have a funny scene where we straight up jump off a cliff with Thoma clinging onto us and screaming bloody murder until he realizes we are slowly gliding away and he’s not about to plummet to his death.

The Sakura cleansing quest should have been voice acted.

The Mirror Maiden and Pyro Agent are totally on a date, I will not be told otherwise.

[ushidoux]

Not Enough - Oikawa (Haikyuu) x Reader x Gojo (JJK)

Summary: Your relationship with Oikawa feels more like a curse than anything else as it comes to a close. (~4.2k words) or tl;dr gojo is mr. steal your girl

Warnings: breakup, idk Gojo is a warning, cracky angst?, pegging mention, yandere themes

A/N: Ngl I’m patting myself on the back for making a crossover fic work somewhat LOLLLL, you can roll your eyes if you want this is hella melodramatic.

(if you wanna commission more niche things, you can always dm me <3)

---

“I-I think it’s best for us to end things here, Tooru...”

Oikawa’s fingers tightened around the cell phone in his hand at the sound of your shakily delivered proposition, and further at the abrupt pregnant pause thereafter - not because he was angry, nor afraid, but out of an all-encompassing confusion.

Two things were wrong with this situation. First of all, it was late enough for you, thousands of miles away, that he was genuinely surprised that you were still awake in the first place and the fact that your voice was thick with tears was particularly upsetting, implying that you’d been up all night before you decided to call. Second, you had to be feeling unwell because you were talking pure nonsense.

He must have not heard correctly. You wanted to ‘end things’?

End what? You and him? That couldn’t possibly happen.

Moments passed, maybe even a full minute, and Oikawa stood perfectly still in spite of the uncomfortable combination of a weightless sensation in his legs and a feverish pounding in his chest as he tried to let himself understand what you were saying. Suddenly lightheaded, he realized he had been holding his breath while you remained quiet on the other end of the line. Maybe he was hoping for you to fill the silence, but he knew you wouldn’t offer anything additional; he could tell from the single soft sniffle that betrayed your sadness.

He sucked air into his lungs.

“I... don’t know what you mean,” Oikawa replied, his voice steady even if his body wasn’t.

You continued.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s really hard… and I get so lonely, and I know it’s wrong, but sometimes it hurts to see you so happy without me…”

Your voice was smaller still, enough that he strained to hear you past the rush of blood past his temples. For a moment, he considered pretending he couldn’t hear you say such unpleasant things just so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the reality unfolding in front of him in this disdainfully sunny early afternoon, while he stood in the middle of the hallway right outside of his high rise apartment.

The fact that you had finally given up on him after all this time.

In a small way, Oikawa couldn’t blame you. While he had been gone chasing his dream, the emerging star had just as quickly been running further away from you day by day. He knew this was mostly his fault: he called you less frequently and whenever you did talk, the conversations were shorter and less substantial until you and he both felt like your interactions were a simple chore, a checkbox on his never-ending to-do list.

But yet, he could and would absolutely blame you. Long distance was hard but you had promised you’d stay by his side, hadn’t you? You’d promised him, rain or shine, through drought and storm. What could possibly be the issue now?

Even if you hurt, it would only be temporary, and he could always make up for it in full or even twice-fold. In fact, he was on his way to come see you in person this very second; it would just be mere hours before his flight would depart. Coming suddenly on holiday like this was meant to be a surprise, and his suitcase beside him was filled with gifts and souvenirs for you that would, at least partially, assuage your hurt.

At least he thought. Maybe the issue stemmed deeper, starting with the very fact that you weren’t such a fan of gifts - what you really craved was loyalty and quality time - and that too, he had chosen to ignore. Because it was easier to love you the way he wanted to love you, rather than the way you wanted to be loved.

You were often indecisive anyway. Did you ever truly know what you wanted?

“___, stop being silly. I love you -”, he paused at this last declaration for emphasis, gauging your reaction, of which you gave him none, then continued, “-and I’m coming to see you before the sun sets tomorrow,” he insisted, a stern edge in his voice to further supplant the denial that was keeping him able to breathe. Strength returning to his limbs, he resumed his path to the elevators, dragging his belongings behind him.

You were silly. You missed him and you were delirious from loneliness and sleep, and that’s why ridiculous things were coming out of your mouth, that’s all it had to be, he figured. End things? What you had was something precious and irreplaceable. Nothing could be better than what you were together.

It would be you and him for life, at least to him.

Unfortunately for you, that ideal had long since perished.

Any other time, you would have paused, your breath hitching in your throat, your heart pounding as you conjured up the image of your Tooru coming to be in your arms once more, to cross the vast distance and be yours again as it should be. He’d be quick to show you that he chose you over crowded gyms full of adoring spectators, a perfect set, the rush of victory, or a pretty Instagram model.

Any other time before, but time had run out with both you and him unsuspecting, in a flash of clear blue eyes.

---

A few months earlier...

“I’m not interested.”

Your voice was flat and so was your expression. Muttering a soft ‘excuse me’, you walked past the tall young man who had taken the fact that he’d helped you reach an item on the highest shelf (despite the fact that you were still somewhat tall, you still had struggled), as an invitation to follow you around the grocery store.

The stranger had started off indiscreetly at first, and you had to admit, when you’d passed him in the aisle, you had given him a double-take, and it wasn’t just because you were wondering how he could see the food before him with a black blindfold wrapped over his eyes, so you hadn’t thought too much of it. He was admittedly handsome - at least the lower part of his face was - and his relaxed voice and posture as he reached over and handed you your box of cereal reminded you just a smidge of your Tooru.

Your Tooru wouldn’t be caught in that nondescript dark ensemble, though.

Saying “thanks” and continuing on your merry way should have been enough. But instead, this same man had immediately started walking besides you as you pushed your cart as though he knew you, making comments about your groceries.

“I’m not particularly fond of eggs, but they’re a good source of protein.”

“You seem to have a sweet tooth, just like me!”

You probably should have been concerned about this man’s mental state, but he didn’t exactly seem harmful or delusional, just weird. But you were almost done with your shopping trip, and now he was in line with you with a single bag of chips in his hand, and it occurred to you for a while that this stranger might try to follow you home.

“Do you need something, sir?” You told him in exasperation.

He furrowed his eyebrows in mild confusion, still a smidge too close behind you and raised his bag of chips. “No, I’m fine.”

“Why are you following me?” You finally said, bolder than usual in this semi-crowded grocery store. You had had enough of being polite and you’d tried very hard so far. Today had been a long day and you just wanted to cook a meal and sleep, not argue with strangers.

“Oh, I was trying to be friendly,” he replied, shrugging, as though that were normal behavior, and thus here you were, switching lanes abruptly while making it clear to him that he needed to leave you the fuck alone.

Checking out of the store with your items occurred without incident but you had to admit you were both irritated and confused about that encounter, and again, while you didn’t exactly feel malicious intent or really any sort of ‘creepiness’ from the young man, the behavior was nevertheless alarming. You surreptitiously glanced over your shoulder just to make sure he wasn’t still in sight, only to catch him walking in the other direction, whistling again with the single bag of chips in his hand, now paid for.

Again stunned, you found yourself lost in a stare for a moment, a million questions in your head.

What was he trying to accomplish? And most importantly, how could he see with that blindfold?

What did he look like without it?

Quickly realizing your questions were getting absurd, you decided that whether he was attractive or not was a completely inconsequential thought, because the fact of the matter was that he had to be clinically insane. Absolutely.

With that thought in mind, you texted a friend briefly sparing the least salient details.

Call me in about thirty minutes if I don’t call you first. I’ll fill you in later.

Just for safety’s sake, but thankfully, you didn’t think you’d ever seen him again.

You may have brought up your odd encounter to Tooru that night, if he had managed to return your call.

---

“Go to sleep, I’ll talk to you when I land tomorrow. I love you, ____.”

Before you could protest, the line cut off abruptly and you lowered your phone to your lap. Now it was no longer just your voice wavering, but your entire body trembling as you sat over the side of your bed. You lurched forward, the pit of your stomach heavy with guilt.

Your Tooru was coming to see you and for once, he was the last person you wanted to see.

---

You had left your home a little later than usual but given that you would rather die than miss your morning coffee and croissant, you still stopped by your neighborhood bakery.

Noting that the line was a little longer than expected, you queued up, humming softly to the beats of your favorite song, not registering that the man standing before you had turned slowly in your direction and was now smiling down at you.

“Fancy seeing you here again.”

Your eyes furrowed as you looked up, then almost yelped in surprise when your eyes registered the same white-haired stranger who had stunned you at the supermarket lined up just two paces before you.

What the-

Of all the coffee shops in this city, why here? The hairs on your neck stood up on end, worse when he decided to keep speaking.

“Let me buy your coffee,” he proposed, tentatively. “Only condition is that you have to drink it with me.”

Today, the strangest of strangers almost looked normal; rather than a blindfold, his eyes were hidden by a dark pair of sunglasses and his hair had been allowed to fall into a slightly windswept cut. He was also dressed less eclectically, in a loose-necked long sleeved shirt and a pair of fitted dark jeans.

Like this, you could call him fashionable. He was definitely forward, at the very least.

He was obviously flirting and normally you would have a curt prepared answer for him, but the manner in which he leaned forward, smirking with hands on his hips, again felt too familiar. Like Tooru, who had forgotten to call you back and instead sent you a quick text that promised he’d get back to you.

If he remembered.

Before you knew it, and almost embarrassed as soon as it left your mouth, you blurted out, “I… have to go to work.”

It wasn’t a lie but for some reason it came out like one. Perhaps because what you would have normally said was, “I have a boyfriend,” without giving him a second look.

He frowned nevertheless.

“That’s too bad,” he finally said, letting out a loud sigh, excessively dramatic for the situation. You stared at him, dumbfounded, and he suddenly clasped his hands together, preparing to say something else but the barista had called for the next customer.

He made a motion for you to go before him, and flustered, you obliged, giving the barista a look that implored for help in any way he could offer it. The barista knew you well enough to ring up your order before you even asked for it, but not well enough to sense that the man behind you was actively harassing you.

“I can buy my own coffee, sir,” you murmured once you saw him rummage in his pockets and pull out his wallet while the barista went off to toast your pastry.

He grinned widely.

“Call me Satoru.”

---

“A drink for you, sir?”

The flight attendant’s voice betrayed a hint of irritation under her sweet tone of voice, hinting that she had been waiting for him to answer a while, and Oikawa realized that he had been staring at his phone for a lot longer than he expected. He flashed her his classic pearly whites before nodding, but the wheels in his head were still turning.

A mere couple of hours into the first leg of his flight back to Japan, he had taken to poring over his last few conversations with you.

Conversations that, at least from his end, had become pressured, short, and at times, he had been downright dismissive.

But he loved you - you had to understand that! It was a lot to manage:  being available for you but also giving 150% of himself to the game.

So what if he missed your calls but kept his Instagram up-to-date? So what if he was a little bit too cozy with his fans (and known to be so)?

There was always you, and you were supreme. He’d do anything for you.

“Wine?” The attendant offered him the higher octave in her voice making it clear that Oikawa had managed to charm her back into her retail persona.

Maybe a glass, but he’d limit his drinking. He wouldn’t want to disappoint you when you met.

---

You were shocked.

Satoru stopped a car that was meant to crush you, and you were still trying desperately to comprehend what had just transpired.

You were possibly too eager to escape that coffee shop, to get away from the young man whose presence both unsettled your stomach and made your face grown warm, that you’d hurried out into the crosswalk, somewhat complicated drink and slightly crisped pastry in hand, and right into the path of a car hurtling through a red light.

You didn’t have time to scream or rarely even time to drop your drink, but the impact of your carelessness and preoccupation, between him, being late to work, wondering why the fuck your boyfriend had yet again forgotten to text back, never came.

Instead, the car seemed to halt to a stop almost immediately before you, before him who now stood before you with lips held into a neutral expression, and one hand in his pocket. Even if time seemed to stop for a split second, the force that should have struck your body didn’t, instead hurtling around you in a terrifying gust of wind.

But you were safe.

There was a shatter of glass windows as energy redistributed and the car took the brunt of the shock, and airbags deployed, engulfing the driver who could have possibly ended your life.

When Satoru finally turned to you slowly, looking at your cowering form, you finally caught a glimpse of piercing blue. For once he wasn’t smiling, and he was suddenly much more terrifying than anything else.

As though the mask had come off.

He didn’t ask if you were okay. Instead, he asked you to control your grief.

---

You shouldn’t be able to love anyone so much that your heart breaks repeatedly.

Something about you had to be pathological - it couldn’t be normal to feel the pain of separation this acutely. It was just a long-distance relationship, even if he was just getting more famous and less available by the day.

You shouldn’t wake up wondering if you could still breathe without him.

You shouldn’t.

---

“I’m a sorcerer,” Gojo revealed as he stirred a warm caramel latte, as though he had said the most natural thing in the world.

You tilted your head over so slightly, knit eyebrows betraying your confusion.

“... Like a circus performer?”

The repetitive turn of his wrist halted almost immediately and he looked at you, the constant smug smirk immediately awash from his features.

“Do I look like I belong in the circus?!” He half-exclaimed, half-whined, as though you were the only patrons in this bustling coffee shop. Part of you was bent on saying yes, but you kept mum yet staring at his face in distress, you find yourself stifling a giggle.

Now that he’d saved your life, you felt (and probably erroneously so) obligated to at least indulge him in coffee, and your curiosity about the young man sitting before you a whole day later now waffled between morbid and genuine.

Cursed energy? Leaking from you? Sorcery?

He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair once he realized you were more entertained by his distress than anything else, crossing his arms and raising his legs on the table. You stared at the bottom of his shoes with mild disgust but instead focused on his face.

He really was like your Tooru, the boyfriend that slipped away from your reach in your nightmares, causing you to wake in a cold sweat. You shook the thought of your head, a quick barely perceptible movement, and crossed your own arms.

“You’re sad enough that I can sense it, which despite the fact that I am obviously quite gifted, can be a bit of an issue long term.”

“Why would it be an issue to you?”

“Because grief creates spirits and spirits are a pain in my ass.”

You furrowed your eyebrows again.

“So you followed me because you thought I was sad?” It sounded far fetched enough but absolutely on brand for a weirdo like the man before you. You took a sip of your tea - you’d picked chai for this… meeting. It wasn’t a date.

He grinned, an elbow rested on the table propping up his chin as he leaned back towards you.

“No, it’s because I thought you were beautiful.” ---

For the first time in a year, Oikawa’s first step back on Japanese soil did not immediately bring him joy but anxiety.

It was odd for him to feel anxiety, this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, but of course it would dissipate the moment he saw you.

But first, a warm shower in his new hotel room. Then he’d go to see you.

It felt odd not to have you waiting for him, your million dollar - no, priceless - smile on your face, so he could kiss you dramatically in the midst of all watching to again reassert that you are his, and his alone.

But you were upset, and understandably so.

So he would come to you, as a good boyfriend should.

---

“I have a boyfriend,” you told him immediately and indignantly, as you got up to leave. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not interested.”

He didn’t rise as fast as you did, watching you calmly instead as you balled your fists in irritation. It’s so shameless how he flirts, you thought. He’s so bold and rude and even if he’s a ‘sorcerer’ as he claims, there’s no spell that he can cast onto you that will make you leave Oikawa for him.

Not your Tooru, whose last Instagram post features a beautiful, tan, large-breasted and bikini-clad woman you’ve never met.

“Where is he then?” Satoru said in a low voice. He didn’t necessarily mean to cut but it did anyway. A lump formed in your throat.

“Overseas.”

---

The sound of chirping crickets is surprisingly loud for this part of the city, Oikawa considered, as he made his way towards your apartment building. It was an atypically warm evening for this point in the spring and he briefly mused if that is what excited them. Maybe they were cheering for him. They sounded a lot like the crowds if he closed his eyes.

He also hoped you had room for the gifts he carried with him, the most important of which was a Cartier bracelet he would hand to you once he departed, with a solid gold T for Tooru.

If he was on the search for fame and glory, he had to spoil you too, right?

To think that you were so angry with him that you had not yet contacted him since he had landed.

He knocked on your door finally, noting the shuffling of too many feet towards the door. This was the right door. He didn’t understand. Did you have friends over?

He called, and you didn’t immediately pick up.

---

“You have to leave!” You hissed. The statement was a plea and it was a command and it was a curse.

The blue of Satoru’s eyes was less electric in the dim moonlight, now more of a cool ice. Bare naked like this and barely visible save for the cracks of the illuminated city through your blinds, he was unfairly beautiful, as though he were carved out of marble. Again like your Tooru. Like, not better.

But still, he was there when Tooru wasn’t.

But Tooru was there now, knocking on your door, having traveled thousands of miles despite the fact that you had broken up with him just yesterday.

It was too little, too late.

But you didn’t love Satoru. He was just a band-aid for the loneliness that wrung agony out of you.

Right?

“I don’t want to leave,” your makeshift lover replied, flatly.

Your glare was sharp and instant, but Satoru matched your look, less pointed but unwilling to sway.

An unstoppable force, no different from the day he’d saved your life.

But he’d caused the problem in the first place, hadn’t he? Would you have run out so carelessly if not for him?

Your voice softened as you slipped on your clothes. The fight was lost before it started.

“Please? I… I can’t do this to him.”

Only a plea was left.

Your phone started to ring and your throat felt as though it would close up.

“___?”

Before you knew it, you heard your front door open and your heart dropped into your throat.

---

“What the fuck-”

Blue eyes were cruel.

Oikawa prided himself on his height but Satoru was taller, and his smirk was wide, while Oikawa’s face was ghostlike, devoid of any appreciable expression. Stunned.

“So you’re the boyfriend?” His voice dripped with mock amusement and he patted him on the shoulder before swinging open the door wide, letting Oikawa into his own girlfriend’s apartment, only to stand face to face with you whose feet seemed glued to the floor in shock.

“I.. T-Tooru..”

“Are you fucking serious?!”

His voice came out as a cry and his tears hot and fast. You never thought you’d see him crumple so fast, for you, for anything.

Your mouth opened and closed, and your hands shook but again, you stayed planted to the same spot while Satoru, still shirtless (but at least with the decency to have worn a pair of pants before answering the door), settled himself on the couch.

Before you could open your mouth to find a word to defend yourself to your sobbing boyfriend, your visitor let out an exaggerated yelp.

“____, you really showed no mercy on my asshole, did you?” he jeered. Then covering his mouth, he made a gesture of ‘Oops.’

What could you do?

Oikawa looked like he would stop breathing any second. He wanted to fight and maybe scream, but what use was that?

You had broken up with him yesterday.

You approached slowly, attempting maybe a touch, anything that would make your mistake less grievous.

You’d only been seeing Satoru for several weeks to… you weren’t sure why, really? Tooru was the one you loved. And to see him curl up like this… someone who was normally so proud...

You were disgusted with yourself.

“Tooru-”

“You said you’d wait for me.”

It was shocking how quick he rose, broken dignity, gifts and all.

“Tooru!”

He turned to leave, while Satoru contented himself on picking the earwax from his ears. It was easier to be like this, insufferable, than to gracefully accept the idea that his object of affection loved someone else.

He’d coveted you from the day he’d met you.

“Tooru!!!”

You were running after a man who gave 150% to everything, yet again. 

Everything but you.

But had he at the very least given you 100%? You weren’t sure.

Oikawa was the last person who could accept the thought of someone else. You weren’t sure if he’d call you ever again. You weren’t even sure you wanted to break up.

Cursed energy. Maybe you didn’t just leak cursed energy. Maybe you were just cursed.

Heart shattering to pieces once Oikawa was no longer within view, you made it back to your room. Satoru was there waiting, and you couldn’t see the look in his eyes, but his arms were open, and so you fell into them.

[michaelmilligan]

27 36 39 :)

Ask game time! :D

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Hmmm. I'd say the most stressful characters to write are the ones I personally dislike. As in, not necessarily the ones who are bad/mean people, because they can be great characters. (Looking at you, Michael!) But the ones I'd want to remove from the narrative with a flame-thrower. So I'd say John Winchester is definitely up there, but I also have a WIP with AU!Michael in the Dean vessel and yeah... That guy always makes me want to get out a baseball bat whenever he's on screen in the show, and I'm trying to accurately portray him in the WIP, so he makes my blood pressure go up, lol.

Generally, I'd say writing people who have a calm demeanour and smile a lot but will absolutely kill your family without a second thought is stressful. Unless those characters are also cool and I like them. Hope this helps. <3

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

Ah. Very little. I constantly have to google things like 'How do grades work in high schools in Minnesota' or 'Supermarkets in the US' to make sure I don't embarrass myself too much. But okay, that's because I don't live in the US and can only pick up so much from media.

On a less geographically specific note, I always fear my insight into and understanding of people, their motivations and thoughts, is lacking. Especially when the people I write about have different opinions and life experiences from me.

Wait, this was about what I DO know. Okay. So:

1. Bert and Ernie are gay...

2. There's a difference between the median and the average of things, and you should always differentiate which one is used (if any of the two - there are also other measurements) and be critical about what that number actually means. Especially in statistics, when conclusions are drawn from certain figures in a study and stuff like that. Just. Be aware. (Also be aware of percentages. A 50% rise in probability sounds like a lot and possibly alarming until you look at the actual numbers and realize the probability has gone up from 1% to 1.5%.)

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

This is a difficult question. There have been times in my life where I've barely written (if at all), but it was more that I had other things going on rather than me giving up. I mostly write for myself, and have only recently started sharing the fanfics part online. (It's been a little more than a year.)

Before that, only my closest friends and family got so much as glimpses of my writing (mostly original stuff). Writing is almost automatic for me - the ideas are there, anyway, and I spend a lot of time in my own head thinking about them. Writing them down is just a way to retain the ideas, to bring them in a form that I can enjoy again later on. (Yes, I read my own stuff. No, I don't always like it. But some of it is entertaining.)

So writing is more an outlet so that the stories don't get lost in my brain. And even when the writing is bad, the idea is still preserved, and I could always re-write it to salvage the story.

As for specific stories... Sometimes it's hard to get myself to write, but it's mostly because I get hung up on a certain scene and don't know how to get to a part that's more fun. This can keep a story in limbo for a long time. But what usually helps is to - once again - spend some time in my own head thinking of that scene, getting myself motivated for it again. And then forcing myself to put sentences into my Open Office Doc, even if they're not great. I can always fix them later. As long as there's a basis I can go back and re-do it.

So tl;dr: I don't really ever think about stopping to write. If anything, I would stop sharing my writing. Because the stories are a part of my life and I don't want to lose any of them (Shout out to my fifty billion WIPs). I'd still write if I thought I was terrible (which I do sometimes) and if I lost motivation I'd just take a break (on a specific story or just in general) and then come back later more refreshed.

[frobin]

Okey serious question here. How much do you actually believe that Oda ships Frobin? Like do you think he actually have like doodles/sketchs of them in a pairing kind of way? like for the strong world film riding the motorbug? (Personally i would love it to be true but he has stated one piece isn't about romance in that way)

Hey there anon! Thank you so much for your question and I hope I can answer it seriously enough. Also once more sorry for the late response. I felt like a question like that needs some research and that is what I did these last few days.

So... I think I'll start with the tl;dr because that way people can read that and ignore the rest.

So, long answer short: I 100% believe that Oda has one or more sketchbooks with drawings of his characters that are absolutely self-indulgent. I am 98% sure that he has drawn Franky and Robin in a romantic way at least once (and supported the ship). I am 80% sure he still is shipping FRobin.

Little disclaimer: I actually have no idea if any of this is true. I pull everything in my arguments out of my own experiences and knowledge and since I'm not a 46 year old Japanese Mangaka my perspective might be WAY OFF.

argument - reason- example - conclusion... behind the cut (or in the google doc)

So, why do I think that Oda has a secret sketchbook?

Simple answer is that he is an artist. He is drawing a lot and no artist will publish everything. That can have multiple reasons like imposter syndrome or because the artist thinks it’s not good or interesting enough or they just forget. There are even more reasons I forget and every person has their own.

For Oda I can imagine two big reasons as to why he would keep secret sketchbooks.

First: He is a horndog. You can skip this part if you don’t want to read about it, to the second reason.

Anyway, we know thanks to answers in the SBS, the way he likes to draw big-breasted women and how some of his characters are classified as perverts that he can be considered one too.

Let me show you a few of a few lewd SBS questions he likes to answer in a funny way:

Chapter 228, Page 46

D: How are ya, Odacchi? I know how much you like getting butt-naked, so this must be a favourite season for you. <3

O: Yes, yes. I just LOVE getting completely naked. In the summertime, after I take a bath I just run STRAIGHT OUTSIDE!! And when the girls' softball team running on the sidewalk looks over at me, they say, "Yup, it's really summer now!!" ... AS IF!! I'D GET ARRESTED!!!

(x)

Chapter 433, Page 68

D: If Lady Robin can use her Hana Hana Powers to make any part of her body sprout somewhere else, does that mean she can do it with her ample bosom as well? "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Boy, I'd like to take a hit from that sometime... P.N. Ero Ero no Mi Devil Fruit User.

O: "Ichirin-zaki" (Single Sprout) "Nirin-zaki" (Double Sprout) "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Very clever!! NO IT'S NOT!! STOP THAT!! I'm sure she CAN do it though ♡

(x)

Chapter 798, Page 64

D: Oddachi, I'll give you a pornographic book, so please answer my question. Sanji won't allow anyone to waste food, but what will he do if a woman does so? P.N. Smoker's Cigar

O: I think he would grab the plate and eat it up. Now please give me the pornographic book.

(x)

Nowadays I’m sure there is a focus on those lewder questions compared to the beginning because that is what 13 year old boys laugh about and we all know that is Oda's main demographic (of course).

I think a very good picture of that is given by Tekking101 in his breakdown video of SBS Volume 100.

“Let’s get diving into these questions (...) now, this is a huge moment. I mean, not many Manga manage to reach 100 Volumes, Okay? Now I know Oda usually starts these off with questions relating to boobs and things that don’t really… you know, aren’t really relevant but you know, this is a big celebration so we’re gonna dive right into it. I bet the most important things that we need to know about the One Piece Story are right here in these pages, okay? I printed them out. That is how important this is. So let’s start off, shall we? Epic voice, Barry!

‘Mister Oda, there is a UFO over there with huge big-breasted beauties on it. That memorable 100 Volume of the SBS is about to begin.’

[pause] Yeah, like the first five of these are all related to boobs in some way. You know what Oda? Sticking true to your guns! Godspeed, Sir Oda. Godspeed.”

(end at around 2:30)

So, Oda is a man who likes beautiful women and who draws.

Coming to the conclusion that he will draw his own characters in suggestive poses, naked and even doing adult stuff is not hard.

Obviously he would not show these sketches just around. He would probably keep them in a secret sketchbook that he keeps at a safe location. Maybe his wife and some close friends know about it? Maybe it is his and only his little secret.

I don’t think it would be unlikely to learn about this years into the future, maybe the next generation of Anime Fans will hear about this.

And it would not be the first time that something like this happened.

Not that long ago the daughter of Osamu Tezuka - groundbreaking Mangaka, known for his works of “Astro Boy”, “Kimba the white lion” and many more - found his adult Furry art. Source; Japanese article;

It’s a fact that many Mangaka did indeed start their career with art of the more risque kind and/or as doujinshi artists.

So again, I have no doubt that Oda, a known pervert, has one or more secret sketchbooks with „the p0rnography“ in it. Is there only hot stuff in there? Not necessarily.

The second reason to keep a secret sketchbook would be to collect information in there, that could be considered canon but he is not willing to use it in the Manga. Maybe they are not important enough or will be used later.

What am I imagining here? Anything that could be considered too weird for the normal sketchbook but isn‘t too risque. Funny things that might still not be „appropriate.“

Like a sketch of the male Strawhat ding-dongs with the sizes beside it. All the lewd jokes the fans did about Luffy's stretching qualities? I’m sure Oda thought about them too and drew that in the past if he had the time and it made him laugh enough.

But also maybe there are scenes in there that never made it in the Manga. The Strawhats interacting with each other in their daily lives, ideas for colorspreads and maybe chapter-titles. Oda probably has noted/sketched down a lot of unofficial stuff somewhere.

Another example, even an artist like Oda himself would have needed to exercise drawing two people kissing. Why not use Characters he thinks that might work out together?

Why not Franky and Robin? I would imagine he sketched up a few panels of Franky and Robin having a romantic date, going shopping together in Dressrosa, having a conversation that we never got to see because it was too on the nose.

Which brings us to the second point of me being very sure that Oda had drawn FrankyXRobin at one point.

I’m sure in those sketchbooks there is at least one drawing of them doing anything couple-related together. Again it does not have to be downright nasty but it could be them holding hands, kissing or even just Robin leaning onto Franky while reading, like all those fanarts that exist out there.

It’s not hard to imagine. Even for other Characters I think that is possible

And there might even be proof for that idea. The sketch of the Strong World movie you also mentioned, anon. The one movie that can be considered canon is Strong World. It was basically written/directed by Oda. Shiki the antagonist had an appearance in the Manga.

This sketch is drawn by Oda. Robin is holding onto Franky.

Can it be read as romantic? Yes. Can it be read as Robin holding onto Franky because there is nothing else to hold onto? Also Yes. But couldn't she just have used her power to keep herself secured on the bike without holding onto Franky? WELL YES. Could Oda never have thought in these circles like I do right now? I hope he did not because I hate it and I don’t wish it upon him.

In the movie Robin is NOT holding onto Franky. Now the really interesting thing - that is neither proof pro nor anti FRobin - is that we can see the sketch provided by Oda as a “between the scenes”.

In the movie Strong World the old trio is collecting information at the Pirate assembly. The next time we see them they use the Batta GT-7000 to slowly approach the destroyed village, which had been ravaged by the animals, and start to look for their friends. No need to hold onto Franky and no need for Brook to lean back. They are looking around.

The sketch is clearly not the same scene as the one we see in the movie.

In conclusion the drawing is indeed a between the scenes drawing. And yes if there exists one, who is to say there aren’t more?

Talking about Animal-Bikes...

Is there any meaning about the fact that in the opening scene (that is part of the talked intro after the opening ‘We Go’ - a huge thanks to antiherofangirl, ccb0nnet, JFL_Estudios and Maems, over at twitter!) Franky and Robin build another grasshopper-based vehicle? Maybe not but I still feel like it’s quite a callback.

Where did the idea to put this in the beginning come from? a) an editor had the idea inspired by Strong World; b) maybe it’s another sketch that Oda provided.

Neither seems very far-fetched in my opinion.

So yes, I am very sure that Oda has drawn things that we would consider FRobin.

Now to the last point (the first being Oda having a secret sketchbook, the second me arguing that Oda might have drawn FRobin).

As I said in the beginning I’m very sure that at one point Oda did and kinda that he still does ship Franky and Robin. Because even though every Interaction of two characters can be depicted as romantic or platonic, Oda used ROMANTIC TROPES with Franky and Robin.

They have never kissed on screen but we had

finishing each other's sentences

coordinated clothes

one using the others lap as pillow

hand on cheek caressing

and we can’t forget that Robin had answered Franky's invitation to ride on another animal-themed bike with a heart.

Edit: I didn‘t say anything about „no romance in OP“ so ask again if you want me to talk a bit about that. Sorry!

Those are things an author of Oda's level would not write or draw without being aware about how teasing this is. He has to be aware that every single line he draws will be analyzed to the end of the universe and back. People earn money by saying their opinion and interpretations about the Manga on Youtube.

These interactions are not something outlandish like “There was once an Anime Scene in which Robin was wearing something blue and exactly 28 episodes later Franky was wearing something violet and then 39 episodes later they both stood beside each other for exactly 69 seconds.”

Whenever I think about these facts, things that are not about interpreting but are factual, black ink on white paper but also about the little things, about how Frank and Robin help each other to become better, how they support each other… I want to say YES! ODA IS 100% on board! While in reality I’m 80% sure and 20% of me is wondering if I’m not actually analyzing too much into it. If maybe he really is abandoning ship. Maybe I will become the person who will curse his name and throw my Mangas and fanfictions in an active volcano?

I don’t know and it’s impossible to say what is going to happen.

And with that I've concluded this answer, and it only took me around 2k words and four days.

[kagrenacs]

Explaining the Iceberg #8

In which the theories get worse as you delve deeper. (some content is cut because it’s not appropriate/something I would want to discuss)

Coldharbour/Clockwork Tamriel: Coldharbour has many locations that resemble Tamriel, and often are outright taken from it. C0Da seems to indicate Sotha Sil’s final goals for the clockwork city is to recreate and ‘perfect’ Tamriel.

The Crimson Ship: During the Knahaten Flu, the Kothringi were hit particularly hard, and the Crimson Ship was full of refugees trying to find a new home. They were turned away at every port, until reaching Hammerfell. After being turned away once again, they sailed out to sea. Some years later, pirates found the ship full of corpses.

Storming of the citadel: Unsure of this, the wording is too general. It could possibly refer to the Morrowind Mainquest, when you take back the profane tools, A Covenant quest in Elder Scrolls Cnline, or the Main quest in Elder Scrolls Online

Altmeri formwars: Mentioned in an MK short story. Possibly a war from a previous Kalpa that involved the Dreugh

Yagrum Bagarn made the Numidium: He states he was a Tonal Architect under Kagrenac, there’s a possibility he may have worked on the Numidium as well.

Sons of Hora: Mentioned in the Nu-hatta, related to mantling. ‘this is the death children bring as son’s of Hora’. My guess is that it’s the ability of mortals (sons of Lorkhan, Hora?) to actually mantle deities and understand their limits.

Kaleidocules: ‘Leaky Creatia’  the power of creation, magical possibility 

Ayleids=Bird people: A race of unnamed bird people Topal the Pilot was said to have met on his journey across Tamriel. Since they occupy the same region as Ayleids did (although they seem to have been present before the Ayleids and subsequently died out), and since Ayleids have recurring bird motifs within their armor and art, it’s thought that these two groups may be one in the same.

Dragon Tusk: The name of the oversoul (cumulation of all aspects) of Akatosh/Auri-el ect. Is Aka or Aka-Tusk.

Lorkhan’s heart the egg of time: In Morrowind, the egg of time is a rebuttal paper to Kagrenac’s theories on the use of the tools on the heart of lorkhan.

Khajiit ??? Genetic memory: I can’t make out if that says lactable as in the infant formula for babies, or something else. 

The Prisoner: A name for all playable characters in tes, revolves around the concept of seeing past barriers formed previously (the prison) and overcoming these obstacles to change things.

82nd Crodo: Mentioned in the redguard forums, a community in Alinor.

City of Rockcreek: In Arena, there is a city called Rockpark. A glitch in town generation happened, and the palace to Rockpark was blocked off, rendering it inaccessible. In Daggerfall, the developers referenced this glitch in ‘Ius the Animal God’ But misspelled Rockpark as ‘Rockcreek’

Atmora-Aldmeris Invasion: Not quite sure what this references, my best guess is the invasion of the Atmorans and Aldmer from their respective continents to Tamriel.

1008 weapons of rapture: 1008 or 108 is usually in reference to Cyrodill (8+1 gods), in Et’Ada, Eight Aedra, Eat the Dreamer, there is mention of 1008 weapons of rapture. This could possibly refer to the Divines, the Middle Dawn that lasted 1008 years, or perhaps 1008 literal weapons.

Thalmor UFOs: Seems to have originated on the iceberg

King Harald and Talos die at 108: There goes that numerology again

Adamantia Scroll rocket: While this seems to have originated on the iceberg once again, there is a group of tes LARPers with the shared name Adamantia

Ghartoki: Mentioned in what my beloved taught me after Vivec reads a symbol on Nerevar’s palms (possibly some sigil, scars or just reading palms). Ghartok in Ehlnofey means hand, and in the sermons it’s often associated with the word Padhome, or change.

Thalmor and Jyggalag: The Altmer are orderly so they worship Jyggalag.

Motheaters: A little song mentioned in this thread https://www.imperial-library.info/content/forum-archives-unknown-posts

Klecksographic Lyg: Another iceberg original, Klecksography is the art of making art from inkblots, essentially this is just saying how lyg was created in a fancy way

Ha-Note is Mehrunes Dagon: https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/3o0uwk/nanote_dagon/ the original theory is here, TL;DR Ha-Note, a monster born from Vivec, renamed itself ‘City-Face’ and fled to Lyg. The ‘grabbers’ grabbed it, because they can’t create things of their own and said they’d build a Hope-Tower upon it’s face. In the Commentaries of Mankar Cameron, he states Mehrunes Dagon was built from hope.

Zurin Arctus=Versidue Shae: An apparently deleted theory, mentioned only in this post debunking it https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/9rs2ad/what_were_the_motives_of_versidue_shaie/

The King’s Cough: Mentioned in Sermon 29, another name for the Thu’um

The Catalyst: The driving force that starts an Enantiomorph 

Tsaescence: A tsaesci word from We ate it to become it, MK states it means it’s the Tsaesci word of “High Perception” In context, seems to mean something similar to CHIM.

Hero of Kvatch=Pelinal Whitestrake: See the Knights of the Nine DLC. (To expand further, there are many similarities between the two, force of change, knight to the emperor/empress)

Amiel Arctus: An old screen name for Michael Kirkbride

The Space Gods: Found in the last song of Pelinal and Eight Aedra Eat the Dreamer, like many things in tes, it’s Lorkhan.

Uriel V: The father of Uriel VI, tried his best to invade Akavir.

Otherkin: You are reading this on tumblr. You know what this is. MK made a lengthy forum post about how Tosh Raka hates the Otherkin for some reason.

Falmer are Hermaified: Horrible word, but there are resemblances between Hermaeus Mora’s shrines, and Falmer shrines.

Invisible Dragons: In morrowind, if you ask M’aiq about dragons, he’ll state they’re too high up to see. Or invisible

Alien Ayleids: A relic from the since deleted bethesda forums. MK wanted to have a plot twist where Ayleids were Aliens.

The insect god: Mentioned in the Adabal-a, or Morhaius’s memoirs. May be a since-retconned god, could possibly be Lorkhan due to his frequent connection with Scarabs.

Suicide Trolls: An easter egg in Oblivion, a poorly scrawled note and a troll found dead under a bridge across the bridge from Bravil.  

Arkay=Arnand the Fox=Zurin Arctus: Zurin Arctus is sometimes called Arnand the Fox (Seen in where were you when the dragon broke) Shor is also represented as the fox, which makes sense since Zurin is a Shezzarine. This connects to Arkay by Malacath/Orkey/Arkay, who is a trickster god (fox like) in Nordic pantheons. Malacath also got compared to a fox once. I never said these theories were well backed up.

Dwarf-Orc theory: referring to Dumac, who is sometimes called Dumalacath, or Dumac Dwarf-Orc, suggesting he has an orcish and dwemer parents. This also may imply there are cross cultural connections between the two groups (especially when you consider the Rourken clan having Volenfell, Malacath’s hammer.), meaning Dwemer blood could still be present within Orcish clans.

Tosh Raka: The Dragon-God of the Ka’Po’Tun. Became a dragon through unknown means (possibly through Dracocrysalis?) Hates the otherkin I guess.

A worn and weathered note: A curious note from Morrowind. https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:A_worn_and_weathered_note

TalOS: Talos is called a virus by Jubal in C0da. If you think of the Aurbis as a computer, Talos could be considered analogous to a Trojan Virus when you look at his place in the pantheon of Divines. He used the mantella to cheat-code the universe into accepting it as Lorkhan’s new heart to power the Numidium. An error occurred, and now the universe considers TalOS the new Lorkhan.

King of Worms = The Underking: Both are liches, both are undead, that’s about it. May stem from initial confusion of MK saying there were ‘multiple underkings’ when he meant there were multiple copies of the same person in the dragon break.

500 companions were dragons: the 500 mighty companions, an obscure text calls at least one of the companions a dragon, and some of the names were draconic sounding.

Dreamer can’t wake up: Straight from the mouth of MK, this might mean ‘the Godhead isn’t literal’ or it might literally mean, the universe can’t cease to be because the Godhead just stops.