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jillvalentine · 3 months

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there are so many tells for when my abuser is melting down bc half my tweets get a bunch or private qrts and bookmarks and then i sometimes see them disappear live. and maybe come back later. then disappear again. blablabla. same thing with posts and accounts

#candid camera all tje time like people see shit. it doesn’t just go away #as soon as i address or post something it’s like the end of the world which i guess makes sense considering i don’t make shit up #and have had the same story for years #and i’ve never fully made that one big master doc to debunk everything so i guess it’s scary to know i could crumble anything depending #on what i end up stating??? Lol #like for what gets told to people individually. it can just take them seeing one thing that disproves a lie and everything else crumbles #i won’t even know which card i’m crumbling until it happens bc i’ve just naturally talk about or post things #so many mobile typos sorry!!!#tbd #abuse cw #gonna add these posts to the tag for organization ig

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lostfanboyarts · 6 months

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you're alive, you're alive, you're alive...

Man I just want them to be okay.

Timelapse under the cut

#dw folks that followed me for mha i did not forget about it <3 it is still my everything #recent chapters have got me messed UP #speaking of i did NOT try to make the injuries accurate lol not least bc i've got no clue @ this point what state they're going to end up i #anyway. just one reunion hug horikoshi PLEASE.#mha #bnha #mha fanart #bnha fanart #my hero academia #bakugou #midoriya #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #deku #kacchan #bkdk #bakudeku #bkdk fanart #lostfanboyart

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revvethasmythh · 7 months

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The research notes on distilling dunamancy found in Brenattos apothecary are so interesting actually. It’s not outright stated who’s notes they are, but with a retrospective lens it’s quite clear that they’re Ludinus’. There are fragments there about his musings on some of Trent’s protégées showing proficiency with early dunamancy, that he is planning to incorporate it into his own skill sets to aid him in his pursuits, and he records how it seems the Kryn have been quote unquote “learning to bend and break the threads of destiny for hundreds of years. Be this truth, I cannot imagine the Raven Queen looks down upon them favorably either, though the thought brings a laugh to my lips.”

#I am going to be honest: I assumed he was aware of dunamancy for MUCH longer than this #but the way its stated implies this was a fairly new discovery #like i was aware that essek giving over the beacons had consequences™️#but I suppose i had not considered it to its full extent before now #why did i think ludinus knew about dunamacy for ages because apparently NOT #also the bit about the raven queen at the end just made me laugh. he’s such as shithead lol #yes another c2 rewatch #cr2e48 #also what’s the EITHER at the end there?? what the beef with TRQ??? does she hate you specifically??#i want the hot goss I want to know what he vanguard wear the symbol of TRQ I want to know why HER #otohan used to worship her. ludinus has beef with her. the vanguard wear her symbol #they marbelized HER champion #what the FUCK is up with that

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reallyhardy · 6 months

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Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!

#loren talks #ethan slater #months later let's call this my actual full response/reaction lol #i think at the time this was going down at the end of 2023 i was sort of just Freaking Out like my blood was boiling lol #i was parasocially furious with both of them #ofc now i do realise i'd put him on something of a pedestal #having seen his cute posts about his then wife an former childhood sweetheart plus posts welcoming his new son #AND having watched a youtube mini-series he'd made with his then-brother-in-law. i was SO invested and then.#i was like OH. he really DESTROYED his family huh.#but ofc! every situation is nuanced. we don't know what went on behind the scenes #wrg to his relationship. or what grande's was like with her ex-husband #since everything came to light there's been articles stating that slater wants to work with his ex-wife to share custody of their child #and that he's been spotted backstage WITH his son at spamalot on broadway (his current production)#so it sugggests he's not trying to be an Absent Father #which tracks with some of his own artwork as he and nick blaemire DID write a whole musical about the strained relationship between #a father and son and i just feel like. that suggests something about his personal character. and makes me HOPE he'd want to #be a present and loving parent regardless of circumstance.#anyways.#it's simply not my business BUT. seeing his face #popping up every now and again #it does just. feel extremely weird haha #there's a part of me that's like oh but that's musical spongebob my bestie what's he doing here #as for ariana i really have never had a strong opinion of her #but i have to say hearing her songs out and about these days...... :') i could do without it

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sysig · 1 year

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I’m just saying I think he has a type (Patreon)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Commander Peepers #Sylvia #Black Eye #I guess technically sort of lol #The implication of ♪ The lead-up to ♫#I read Peepers as bi with a preference towards men and Sylvia his inverse lol #They work well as mlm/wlw solidarity too! Including understanding each other in That Bi Way y'know?#But I do also think that Sylvia is his type haha ♪ All these things can be true at once! Relationships are complex and ever-changing!#I also think it works best one-sided on Peepers' end - Sylvia is busy! And as just stated relationships are complex #Not just in trying to keep a relationship - they do see each other fairly often! - but also in keeping it private to both of their comforts #Being found out by their counterparts would be interesting hehe ♪ Wander would support them of course #Hater would probably be furious even just at knowing Peepers had a crush on her tbh - feeling lonely but also worried about intel haha #He's smart he's not going to go around leaking information like that! If anything he'd probably just be more ruthless to vent his feelings ♫#''Grop-darn Zbornak with her ability to bench me and stomp me into the dirt >O('' lol #The interpretation of him thinking he's sick over thinking he's romantically entangled is so correct #I also like the thought of Sylvia immediately having a repulsion reaction to finding out that Peepers likes her haha #''He WHAT??'' Wander would probably not help in her coming around just infodumping all his good points that she's not interested in lol #But then seeing him being that perfect little mixture of pathetic and competent that Peepers exemplifies <3 What's not to like about him #They have the right dynamic to get close! They have the potential! Fumbling and awkward the whole way but what other way is there hehe #It'd be so fun to watch ♪ What's there is already so fun to watch!

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melaises · 4 months

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#it is fuckinggg killing me that my roommate hasnt moved out by the end of may like she said she would.#she literally made a huge unnecessary issue of it only to. not do it #like what was the fucking point of stressing me out about “breaking the lease” -which she didnt! she later said she would pay it out instea #setting up a meeting with the landlord to state that this was her plan! for real! that she would be moved out by may! and not fucking going #how much longer do i have to endure her bullshit. like jfc way to get my hopes up and destroy them. as per fucking usual #is it so much to fucking ask for her to do the things she says shes going to do. or for me to live my stupid little life w/o her complainin #i cant fucking TAKE IT #AUGHG #she just filled her massive 80% section of the fridge with food so i can assume shes not leaving for a. while.#i cant wait for my lease to be up. so i can be free. i never want to see her again lol

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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months

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truly a classic skrunk moment just occurred. went to the bathroom to have y'know a nice refreshing piss, decided to wash my face, accomplished this, decided to brush my teeth, and then somewhere somehow between washing my face and picking up and toothpasting the toothbrush spent two hours pacing (still holding the toothbrush with toothpaste on it and often gesturing with it for emphasis) talking to myself about ryu ga gotoku alone in my bathroom

#i have a friend whom i KNOW would IMMEDIATELY be like YOU HAVE ADHD YOU HAVE ADHD and his voice is ringing in my head now #not saying he's wrong bc he's probably not #anyway that hasn't happened in a while lol. mostly bc the bathroom ramble thoughts usually end up on the blog now #instead of rattling around in my vents and whatnot #byeah. mostly ranting about the absolute state of the women in this series #it's not like abysmal but as always i wish they were treated better etc #anyway i dont even remember what got me onto that but. eyah #mid youtube video as well like it was paused for oh so long awaiting my return

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unloneliest · 10 months

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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.

#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO #he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too #his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve #made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a #plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either #mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me #in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that #it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose #and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ #he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol #hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too #me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life #may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes #i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge #people. unlike him :)#vampire pit #like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts

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shidoukanae · 5 days

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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^

I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.

There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D

Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!

I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!

Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#

#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again #and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc #fcbf #future card buddyfight #buddyfight #Deathgaze Death Dragon #Noboru Kodo #Tasuku Ryuenji #Gao Mikado #Drumbunker Dragon #Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing #and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia #because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy #specifically a Star Dragon World one #though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc #middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals #ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in #the wrong #& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days #and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin #& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law #i mean #there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku

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maddy-ferguson · 10 months

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i saw someone say they were hoping noah would apologize and it's just kinda fascinating to me...if he thought zionism was sexy on monday (or i guess on sunday probably and for many days and weeks before that) why would he suddenly think it's an awful ideology on friday?

#and like i say: brf slt #i think people found out what zionism was like three weeks ago and think it's a slur or something when like #no it's an actual ideology it doesn't just mean killing and displacing an entire people that's only what ends up happening when you...put #the plan into motion. but yk #i would say zionism can mean one of three things: supporting the establishment of a jewish state. supporting the state of israel #specifically. supporting whatever awful thing the israeli government/army is up to that day #i saw someone get yelled at in the replies of a post because they were saying this when they were literally right? it was a post about noah #so again i'm assuming people don't know what they're talking about because. they don't. lol #and like obviously proudly being a zionist rn and being like zionism is sexy while israel is bombing people in the name of zionism after #killing and displacing people for decades in the name of zionism can only mean that you condone all that. but idk. i didn't like the way #people talked to that person WHO WAS LITERALLY RIGHT when they were probably the same people who were saying no going to israel and saying #you love it there doesn't mean anything at all this summer #and about the apology. lmao. i've seen people say the same thing about timothée chalamet on twitter and like yeah if he thought the hamas #joke was funny on saturday why would he be like omg nooooo this is really unfunny on monday. i'm not saying you can't expect anyone to #apologize for anything ever but celebrity apologies...................lmao. even when they do apologize it's always like i'm sorry #you're offended not i'm sorry for doing it #and explain to me how or why you would expect noah to be like sorry i didn't mean that zionism was a good thing. like what about his track #record would make you think he'd change his mind😭 if he ever realizes how wrong he is it definitely will not be now #and people saying that video should get him fired is like. brett gelman posted something about how if you don't get called a racist on the #internet once a day you're doing something wrong and you think they're gonna fire noah for being around stickers that say 'this ideology we #the creator+producer of the show subscribe to is sexy' and 'this organization we have decided has beheaded 40 babies and we're so #sure of that we repeated the lie in our open letter thanking the president who corroborated that lie is isis'. like they agree with him #i'm not defending anything btw i'm just saying why the fuck would you expect him to be like oh my bad you're right and apologize😭

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apathyfairy · 21 days

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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

#i want a corn dog so bad rn #ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao #not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know #but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life #like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college #and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going #to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that #i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager #not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that #scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc #well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo #relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship #ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so #short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now #once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but #if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol #to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now

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gibbearish · 29 days

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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression #both on its own and as a companion to ssris #psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression #so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default #state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it #origibberish #also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my #psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant #might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time #and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went #'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick #like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows #'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when #trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time #ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations #om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL #they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk #it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN #this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god #just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is #really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would #then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that #of withdrawal. a famously shit experience

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orcelito · 1 month

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Honestly sooooooo fucked up that I thought my overwhelming daily fatigue and debilitating body pain was a product of the awful working conditions I was under for years and years... and yet, despite being out of work for half a year now, I'm still so fatigued and in pain all the time??? Like come on man that's not fair

Oh well maybe I have liver disease and they'll treat it and then I am magically so much more energized like I was as a kid. We can only hope !!!!