#on the other hand the amount of people who don’t READ THEIR MAIL ?!?!?! and their payment goes up and it causes problems for them

[king-ludwig-ii]

Also I know that we are all pessimistic about owning property but a genuine tip for when/if you have a mortgage:

Around November every year you will get a notice from the Financial Institution you’re borrowing from. This will be your Taxes & Income Account Assessment also know as your T&I Disclosure.

I cannot fucking stress this enough: read it. You should really be reading every communication you get from any financial insinuation you use whether it’s for a mortgage, banking, commercial lending, consumer lending, or investing. But especially read this.

This is the early disclosure that lets you know the escrow assessment of your property and tells you how much you payments will be starting January of the imminent year.

If escrow was shorted for whatever reason— property value skyrockets etc etc— your payment will go up and it’s important you know that esp if you have an ach or automatic payment set up.

Also if you overpaid your escrow you will get your escrow surplus given back to you. Most institutions you lend through will require you to have a savings account even if you don’t bank with them— this overage will be deposited into the savings and sit there. This T&I disclosure is the only required communication of this disbursement.

[simonisferal]

Valentine — wanderer x gn reader

erhmm, kaveh gets taped to the ceiling, obvious courting/pining, reader's a fucking simp, wanderer's a small bitch/affectionate

guy came up to me and became my valentine, now i gotta reject him because i dont see him like that 😭 but happy valentines day!!

1.5k words

Valentine’s Day was literally today and you were stressing about what to get your lovely partner! Well, not really. If anything, you’re freaking out on how to confess your feelings for them and *then* ask him out. Crazy, and very last minute, you know, but hear yourself out!

You’ve been pinning and courting him for a while. It’s painfully obvious that you liked him, or at least you think.

Wanderer had no revelation. Sometimes he thought that the flowers and large amounts of flowers, snacks and drinks you left on his desk or mail was part of a big prank. Not even his new friend group (“Aggravate”, as Cyno called them) could tell him differently.

They were walking down the halls, ignoring most people who gawked and eyed them. It wasn’t rare for people to look at the five beauties but it was fairly worse since it’s a holiday.

”You excited?” Tighnari, one of the only people who have a brain in this dumb school, mentions.

"For what?” He pauses his walk.

“Oh! For his little secret admirer to come up and confess!” Kaveh squeals. Alhaitham, who stood behind him only snorted but stayed quiet. Tighnari looked to the side but nevertheless agreed with him, “Something like that. I was going to say chocolates or a present but that works.”

Cyno interjects, “Maybe a letter? Something simple to not attract too much attention to you, I would guess.”

”Oh please, I doubt that prankster has the balls to come up to my face and say something, let alone a fake confession.” Wanderer says, not only denying the idea but shooting down Kaveh’s suggestion as well.

"Booo! Where’s your passion for love? I don’t understand how people like you, babes.” Alhaitham pats Kaveh’s back but we all know he thinks it too.The puppet snorts but doesn’t refute anything else. He continues to walk, leaving the four behind while they head to their classes.

Wanderer was interrupted many times by others trying to give him gifts, making him late several times. He grew tired of the holiday and just wanted to go home. Maybe Tighnari can give him something to ease his mind when it's time for study hall.

But they never show up. Wow, ‘real friends’ my ass.

When he goes to his next class, down a small hall in the Vahumana category, Wanderer only sees the empty class. There was no way he was late or early or even in the wrong classroom.

His wary behavior didn’t cease when he noticed a singular note on a desk, his desk. Wanderer didn’t hesitate to pick it up, his smooth hands running over the frail paper before unfolding it from its fold.

Dear Wanderer, it read.

You’re probably reading this with caution or at least looking behind your back right now but I can assure you, nothing bad’s gonna happen as you read this! (I don’t know if that sounded ominious ominous or not so, sorry :( )

I’m the one who keeps buying you flowers and those snacks if you didn’t know by now! I actually have something to tell you and I really hope you come to the library or else I’ll kind of look like a loser lol— Your secret admirer

ps: I’m a little offended you think this whole thing is a prank, Wanderer :(

Damn. He closed the piece of paper and ran his hands through it again. ‘Yeah, right. Like someone would actually love me enough to do this’, he thinks.

Wanderer shoves the note into his short’s pocket and sits down in his seat. There are small trinkets and sour candies in the desk with another note, “Just in case you get hungry :)”. …He sighs. He takes one of the candies in his hand and starts unwrapping the wrapper. ”You guys can come out now. I finished reading the letter.”

There was a small hint of silence before anyone spoke.

"Oh thank the gods, I thought you were gonna leave us here.” Kaveh groans. Both Tighnari and Cyno reveal themselves from hiding in a closet and Alhatiham just turns around in the professor's chair.

”Kaveh?! How’d you get up there?” Tighnari leaves the closet, passing by Wanderer to get under Kaveh, who was duct-taped to the ceiling. He looked sick and frail and like he was about to throw up.”I asked Alhaitham to help me like three hours ago but he never got me down! I missed a bunch of classes..” He whines. Tighnari gives Haitham a glare but the grey-haired male ignores it.

”I’ll help you down, okay?” Tighnari comforts Kaveh and stretches his hand out towards the closet. “Cyno, give me my bow.”

”Alright.” Cyno starts reaching into the closet while the four of them could hear Kaveh pleading, “Wait! No! I can get down myse—!”

Wanderer’s ears ring at the loud sound of Kaveh crashing onto the floor. Joking, of course. He used his anemo powers to safely get the blond down.

"You four are such a hassle.” He groans.

"Well?”

“‘Well’ what?”

”Are you gonna go?”

”Go where?”

”The library, for god's sake!”

Cyno nods along. “[Name] is waiting for you there.”Wanderer groans again while everyone else looks at Cyno like he just admitted to a murder. They whisper as the puppet crosses his arms in his seat. “I’m not going to a dumbass library to just meet [Na]—…[Name]?”

"Oh wow, Cyno spilled. Expected it to be Kaveh.” Alhaitham retorts. Wanderer could only hear a small ‘hey!’ from the thoughts running through his head.

Believe it or not but you were the second place bachelor in the Akademiya. Most girls and guys would be pursuing you right now but you were just in the library? And you liked him? Yeah, right, he’ll have to see it with his own eyes.

”Fine, come on. Let’s go.” He stood up from his seat and began to walk out the classroom, leaving the four boys again.

”Should we go after him?” Kaveh asked.

"You just fell off of a ceiling, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go…”He whines again but wipes his butt from any dirt from the floor. “Okay…”

”I’ll stay with you.”

”Alhaitham, what?”

”You heard me.”

Both Tighnari and Cyno left to chase after Wanderer, the quick fellow already somehow causing a commotion in the halls. You were sitting in the library when Wanderer ran in. You expected him to come, not because you thought of him as a hopeless romantic but because you knew he’d want to see such a wanted figure as yourself actually liking someone.

”Good afternoon, Wanderer.” He heard.

You were carrying a Sumeru rose in your hands, fiddling and admiring the petals and thorns. He just stood in front of you, not believing it wasn’t a prank.

”’Good afternoon’ my ass. What do you want?”

You frown. “Did you not read the letter I left for you?”

He crosses his arms and scoffs. He had an obvious face of disdain, still not believing you. “Why yes of course I did. And just so you know,” he took a small step closer. “I still think this is a dumb joke.”

That statement couldn’t help but make you laugh. “Really? Aren’t a lot of people pursuing you? What about me courting you for, like, 3 months?”He falls silent. You weren’t known for your jokes, most people (excluding Cyno) thought you were unfunny. You also weren’t a liar—everyone calls you honest and trustworthy that even Wanderer can only imagine how many promises you’ve completed.

”Look. I’m really not joking…” You stand up from your chair at the library, taking small steps towards the short male. You extend your hand, showing him the rose you had been admiring for so long.

“I like you.”

Ha… Haha.. He starts laughing. Wanderer found you absolutely stupid. No one, ever, would actually admit to liking him—let alone on a holiday all about love. You had to be an idiot to even think about him romantically.

The puppet stops laughing after noticing you hadn’t gone away or laughed with him. He raised an eyebrow and looked at your frown. “Seriously? You’re an idiot.” His rude remark did nothing to hide the small smile on his face. It was amusing, such a silly thing actually. Who knew you would be such a dumbass for love? Now he doesn't feel even a single drop of guilt for eating all those snacks.

That look on your face says it all. You're in love with him. Pathetic, honestly. But Wanderer'll give you (and himself) a chance at this little game called life. He finds this little situation funny now that he knows it's not some sort of sick joke.

”Fine, I’ll give you a chance.” He takes the rose in his hands, twirling it with his fingers. He looked up at your excited smile. Humans are so easy to please, he thinks but it doesn't stop the small smile crawling on his own face.

”Just don’t bore me.”

[yanderecrazysie]

yandere bakugo! purge au? it’s time for the purge and its the perfect time to get his darling

I’ve been watching the Purge show with my little sister and we occasionally just text each other “The Giving is near, the Invisible awaits”. I love the purge movies so much, except the Forever Purge, I just didn’t like that one.

Title: 12 Hours

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, Bakugou’s scary lol

Summary: 12 hours when every crime is legal but with a twist- if you kidnap someone, they’re yours forever.

“You’re sure everything is locked down?” You asked, biting your lip nervously.

Your boyfriend smiled at you, “State of the art system. There’s nothing to worry about.”

You gave him a smile, but you followed it up with a sigh. You had a lot to worry about. You had gotten a note in the mail, two days before the purge, that read:

Dear (Y/n),

This is a notice that a Level 5 person(s) has been given permission to hold you indefinitely if you are captured during purge hours. We recommend staying inside and taking precautions to protect yourself.

Blessed be our New Founding Fathers,

NFFA Personnel.

Someone had requested permission to kidnap you forever, as long as they captured you on purge night. Who it was, you couldn’t even imagine.

Your house’s defense system was practically a joke. You didn’t have the money to get fancy equipment like everyone else had. That’s why your boyfriend, John, had offered to let you stay with him during purge night.

The thought had crossed your mind that John could be the crazy kidnapper, but you knew that he could have you any time he wanted to, so there wasn’t any point in kidnapping you.

John had an amazing security system. Not as good as, say, the NFFA members had, but still very good. You felt mostly safe to stay with him, but there was still an ounce of fear that wouldn’t go away.

You had looked up what “Level 5” meant and had discovered there were five levels of dangerous people classified for the purge. Level 1 was the lowest and, well, Level 5 was the most dangerous.

You had an extremely dangerous person after you. Who knew what they would do to you after kidnapping you? Maybe they would torture you all year long.

Your boyfriend turned on the TV and, a few moments later, the announcement played.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. Weapons of class four and lower have been authorized for use during the purge. All other weapons are restricted. 

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. when the purge concludes. 

“Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

Even through the metal shutters, you could hear the sirens start. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“We’re in for a quiet evening, don’t worry,” John said, putting a comforting arm around your shoulder, “Should we get the wine out?”

“Yes, please,” you said shakily.

Your boyfriend walked over to the cabinets and pulled out a bottle of wine and a couple cups. He poured a generous amount of liquid into both cups and handed you one. You drank all of it in one go.

John laughed and refilled your cup, “It’s only 12 hours. That’s it.”

“12 hours is a long time,” you muttered, “A lot can happen in half a day.”

Ten hours passed uneventfully, the two of you watching the only channel that wasn’t showing highlights of the purge from cameras set up around the country or talking about the history of purging.

On the eleventh hour, someone knocked on the door. You froze in your seat, breath hitching in your throat from horror. Your boyfriend stood up, “It’s okay, no one can get in. I’ll check the front door camera.”

He checked the camera and smiled, “See, they moved o-”

The power went out. 

A beeping sound filled the house and then the scraping of metal as the shutters began to rise. The security system had been disabled and was reversing itself.

Even in the dim light, you could see that your boyfriend had gone pale, messing with the system frantically to try to reset it. 

Finally, he turned to you and said, “Get in the closet. I’ve got a gun and I’ll deal with anyone that comes inside.”

You were crying at that point, but you managed to nod. You ran to the closet and hurriedly closed it behind you. You pulled some clothes down from the rack and tried to use them to cover yourself. There was no lock, so you were absolutely toast if anyone looked inside.

You could hear the door open loudly, as though someone had kicked it open. Your ears strained, listening for any hint that your boyfriend would be okay.

A gunshot rang through the house and you hoped it was from your boyfriend’s gun and not the intruder’s. A loud, husky laugh followed the sound, “Nice try, extra.”

You covered your mouth as the sound of an automatic gun’s famous ratatata followed. You knew John only had a pistol. No doubt your boyfriend had just died. 

“Y/n”, I know you’re in here,” the voice said loudly, almost playfully, “Might as well come out now, so I don’t waste time trying to find you.”

You had less than an hour left. If you could just stall him until the 12 hours were up, maybe you’d make it out alive. 

Your breath hitched again as he came into the bedroom and you closed your eyes.

“Not under the bed. What about the closet?” You could hear the smirk in the intruder’s voice.

The closet door flew open and the clothes were pulled off of you. You looked up helplessly at the wild-haired blonde with blood red eyes as he crouched in front of you. He took your wrist in a crushing grip, grinning at you with victory, and hauled you up off the floor.

“C’mon, we only have one hour to get you home. Had to deal with a lot of shit tonight. But I’m sure your boy toy’s car will help us out, won’t it, baby?” 

You hadn’t made it the whole 12 hours. 

Your life was in his hands.

[blooming-dahlia]

My Dear Friend, I Love You - (Late) Valentine’s Day Special! [Riddle Rosehearts]

╰ Ace sighed heavily as the red and pink heart-shaped cards fell out of the box onto the floor. This year, he and Deuce were in charge of the special Valentine's Day mail at NRC because Riddle wanted them to do something more productive than the things they usually did. And Valentine's Day happened to be right around the corner, so as their beloved friend, you suggested they should volunteer as mailmen for that special occasion.

╰ “I had no idea the students here are so affectionate. How many are there?”

╰ “Come on, Ace. We have to sort them and deliver them to the right classes before our first lesson starts.” Deuce was already on his knees, picking up the cards from the floor and reading the classes written under the students' names. Then he started sorting them carefully, making sure nothing gets mixed up. “I could use some help, you know?”

╰ Dissatisfied and still a bit sleepy, Ace knelt down beside his friend and picked up a pink heart made of paper. This one was addressed to Idia Shroud, the housewarden of Ignihyde. A mocking laugh escaped the redhead's lips.

╰ “That’s an interesting one, let’s see what’s written here.”

╰ Suddenly, Deuce snatched the valentine out of Ace's hands and put it on the class 3-B pile. They weren't supposed to read personal things like love letters, but it was obvious that Ace didn't care. As fast as he could, he began to read the contents of another card he spotted.

╰ “Dear Vil Schoenheit, I'm free on Valentine's Day after 7 PM, so maybe we could meet and watch a movie or eat something delicious at a fancy restaurant. If you're interested, please wear your favorite high heels, I want you to step on me with them- what the hell is this?!” Ace burst out laughing like a maniac before placing the heart on the class 3-C pile.

╰ Another minute passed. Deuce still tried to concentrate on his work, while Ace continued to make ridiculous comments on almost every next letter. Some of them were indeed genuine, full of sweet words of affection, while others were more questionable and not entirely serious. Or at least Ace hoped so.

╰ Vil turned out to be the winner in terms of the amount of valentines received, which wasn't surprising. Somehow Malleus Draconia also managed to get the most cards, both from his class and dormitory. Finally, Deuce picked up the last one, which was visibly different from the others. First of all, it wasn't a heart-shaped piece of paper, but an elegantly wrapped letter. Someone definitely wanted to stand out and impress their crush, they thought. But that wasn't the only reason this valentine was intriguing. The mysterious letter was addressed to [Y/N] [L/N] of class 1-A, the non-magical student and best friend of Adeuce duo.

╰ “I don’t trust them.”

╰ Riddle read the draft of his letter once more before turning to Trey, who was standing in the doorway. The special mail was scheduled to start tomorrow and last until the early morning of Valentine's Day before Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade take the mailbox to sort the cards and finally deliver them to their addressees.

╰ The main problem was the fact that this year's mailmen weren't the most responsible people in Night Raven College, and Riddle was well aware of that. There was no way he was going to take the risk of writing an entire essay expressing his true feelings for you, not if it was going to end up in the hands of those two troublemakers.

╰ “Maybe it's time to finally give them a chance and let them do something that would prove their sense of responsibility?”

╰ “No, they will read it, I am absolutely sure.”

╰ “And that’s why you decided to write [Y/N] a love letter starting with ‘My Dear Friend’? Or maybe you’re not certain about your feelings towards them?” Trey noticed. In fact, Riddle had been struggling with his confession to you for some time, and the upcoming Valentine's Day seemed like the perfect opportunity to end that suffering. You were his first love, after all, and it was obvious that Riddle was nervous, even though he tried to act cool most of the time.

╰ He was also curious if you had made a Valentine's card for anyone. Maybe for Ace and Deuce, since they were your best friends? Or maybe a tuna-scented one for Grim? Unless... no, that couldn't be true. Riddle didn't even want to think about you being in love with someone else. He knew it was selfish of him, but he had fallen head over heels for you and there was nothing he could do about it. He had to confess before it's too late, before some other guy steals your heart.

╰ With a sigh, Riddle took a formal paper and concentrated on rewriting his letter on it. Most people cut colorful sheets of paper in the shape of a heart, but that wasn't his style. Trey went back to the kitchen some time later, allowing Riddle to bang his head against the desk in peace. Why was it so hard to confess to someone, even if it was just through a simple letter?

╰ “My Dear Friend- damn, [Y/N] just got friendzoned through a valentine.”

╰ Deuce tried hard to resist the temptation to read the card, but eventually ended up listening carefully to every word Ace read. This time there was no mocking or laughing. While reading it, they weren't quite sure if this was a love confession, since the person who wrote it seemed to think of you more as a friend than a crush. Either it was a friendzone declaration, or this person was just terrible when it comes to feelings.

╰ “I would be honored if you would accept my invitation for a cup of tea and a nice walk afterwards. Sincerely, the housewarden of Heartslabyul, Riddle Rosehearts.” Ace’s eyes widened immediately, his hands almost clenched on the letter. “No way. I mean, I know the housewarden and [Y/N] are on neutral terms, but him sending them a valentine card seems... oddly out of character.”

╰ “It looks like he's just grateful he can count on [Y/N] and nothing more, we don't need to make any serious assumptions based on what we just read. Anyway, let's just put this on the pile and wait for classes to start so we can finally deliver them and get it over with.”

╰ Meanwhile, you've entered the school building together with Grim, who's been annoying you with questions about when you're going to buy him tuna cans for Valentine's Day. He could at least try to pretend to like your gift for him, a cute sweater with "World's #1 Cutest Cat" written on it.

╰ Your first class started few minutes ago, but there was no sign of Ace and Deuce. As you pulled your textbook out of your bag, you stumbled across a nicely wrapped gift with a note attached, and immediately remembered why your friends weren't showing up. You didn't drop your valentine in the special mailbox set aside for the occasion. Instead, you put a lot of effort and love into your gift for Riddle. The worst thing that could happen now was for him to reject you. That thought was the only reason you hesitated to give it to him.

╰ The door opened and the Adeuce duo made their grand entrance. Professor Trein was about to make a comment about them being late, but Ace quickly made that impossible as he began his speech, or rather, shouting. “Class 1-A, here comes your special Valentine's Day mail! We have a lot of them because we're the best class at Night Raven College.”

╰ You watched as your friends handed out Valentine's cards to particular people. At first, you had no idea that the students at NRC celebrated Valentine's Day just like the ones at your old school. It was heartwarming to see the joy on your classmates' faces when they received their cards.

╰ And then Ace placed a card next to your textbook. You looked up at him, confusion in your eyes, but he just grinned and sat down next to Deuce, who was already reading the contents of his own valentine. What had just happened? Someone sent you a valentine? You studied it and noticed that it wasn't a regular card, but a fancy looking envelope with a letter inside. Feeling a bit uncertain, you decided to open it after classes.

╰ It wasn't surprising that Riddle didn't receive any valentine, but deep down he was hoping to see a card with your signature on his classroom desk. He should have known that this feeling was one-sided, and besides, there were no signs of your interest in him on a more romantic level. You often attended the Unbirthday Parties and even spent some time with Riddle privately. When you needed help with your studies, he was always willing to help. But Riddle was drawn to you more than he should, and it was killing him inside.

╰ You stumbled upon Riddle in the school library. At first you weren't sure if you really wanted to approach him, not after reading his letter. It was sincere and sweet, but something about it made you feel uneasy. Riddle thanked you for everything you'd done for him so far, wrote a simple compliment, emphasized the word ‘friend’ a few times, and invited you on... you didn't know if this was a date or not. You felt stupid for expecting more, knowing that Riddle was trying his best.

╰ Riddle looked at the nearby clock and realized it was time to finally leave the library and return to Heartslabyul. You had to act quickly or you would lose your only chance. Just as he got up from his seat, you threw the gift on the table, causing confusion on Riddle's face. Heartslabyul's housewarden blinked a few times and then turned around to see your cool gaze.

╰ “For you.”

╰ And that was it. Riddle didn't even manage to say a word as you ran out of the library, leaving him alone and confused. That wasn't your plan, of course, but it was now or never, right? The only thing you could do now was to hope that Riddle wouldn't think any worse of you, especially since the way you gave him the Valentine's Day gift wasn't the right one. It wouldn't be surprising if he started to ignore you after that.

╰ Opening the box, Riddle found handmade heart-shaped chocolates. He examined them to make sure everything was all right, then carefully took a bite of one. It tasted like heaven, the strawberry filling doing its job perfectly. Riddle ate another chocolate before he began to read the note attached to the box.

╰ There was no doubt that you were smarter than him. Riddle could always give you the letter in person, one in which he wasn't playing around with hiding his true feelings, instead of throwing the other one in the mailbox just because he didn't want Ace and Deuce to find out about his crush on you.

╰ “Dear Riddle. I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to send you a valentine card by special mail. Instead, I wanted to do something different. Trey gladly agreed to help me make these chocolates for you, especially with your favorite flavor filling. Today is Valentine's Day, when both friends and lovers spend time together, give each other gifts, and so on. Let this gift be a reminder that you have people who love and care for you, that you deserve everything that's good and sweet in this world. And if you don't have anyone to celebrate this day with, I would love to be your valentine. Sincerely, [Y/N], your Dear Friend.”

╰ Those last three words were written with a different ink color, which made Riddle quickly realize that you had just added them, probably after reading his letter. The boy sighed, a soft red blush spreading across his face. Then he grabbed the box with the note and made his way back to the Heartslabyul dormitory, where someone special, his dear friend and valentine, was waiting for him.

It's been a long time since I posted something here, I promise to be more active from now on :D

[otwelections]

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[steddiebang]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)

Author: @steddieasitgoes l Artist: @doomcheese l Artist: @strawberrysh0rk Posting on Sunday, November 5

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my terrible mailman,” the man jests, letting his weight fall against the half-opened door. “To what do I owe the pleasure.” “It seems like some of your mail has slipped through the cracks at the post office,” Steve says with an air of causality he hopes pay off. “M��just here to deliver it and apologize for them losing it.” “Right, ‘cause the post office lost it. Not my mailman who hates me house.” “I don’t hate your house!” Steve objects. “That’s two lies in under a minute. I don’t think your boss will be too happy to learn that you’re lying to your customers…” the man trails off, gesturing at Steve. “Steve.” “So you are the mailman that has all the Housewives of this hear street’s panties in a twist.” Or: The year is 1991 and Steve Harrington is working as a mail carrier who is pettily withholding mail from Eddie, who has just moved into the neighborhood. When Eddie threatens Steve’s job, he is forced t making amends by hand-delivering the missing mail. In a surprising twist, Steve and Eddie end up hitting it off and the two start spending an alarming amount of Steve’s lunch breaks getting to know each other. But the more time they spend together, the less time Steve spends delivering mail which might just end up costing him his job and his newfound relationship with Eddie.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Steve is about to cut his losses, set the bin of undelivered mail on Mr. Darkness's doorstep with a quick note of apology, and head back to Posty when there's a loud commotion from inside. It's hard to hear beyond the thick wood door, but Steve can faintly make out the sounds of someone cursing. Heavy footsteps race towards the door, voice becoming clearer as they get closer and closer. 

"I already told you people. I've found something better than God. It's called marijuana, and it makes me a better man than any of your stupid books and pamphlets will!" 

The door swings halfway open in a hurry. It's so fast Steve doesn't have time to make himself look even halfway professional, the overflowing bin of mail teetering in his hands. He manages to save it from falling on his feet, but he can't say the same about his jaw, which feels like it's just been disconnected from the rest of his head. 

Truthfully, he hasn't given much thought to what Mr. Darkness might look like. 

Sure, he's listened to the Birchwood Court Housewives sing their praises. And Robin's lamented about her own theories. That a guy who paints an entire Victorian house black-hole levels of black and is never around in the day must be a vampire type. Long coats and dark boots, maybe even a corset or cape or two. She even joked about him having those cheesy faux vampire teeth they sell around Halloween one night. 

But other than their theories, Steve hasn't theorized for himself. Hasn't given Mr. Darkness's appearance any real thought, too consumed with getting his petty revenge instead. 

That might have been Steve's biggest mistake yet. 

Because the man in front of him isn't decked out in dark capes and soft linens, nor is he red carpet-ready with a swoon-worthy smile. 

No. 

The man in front of him is an utter disaster that makes Steve's heart race. 

Wild curls radiate from his head in every direction, wispy bangs falling in his sleep-heavy eyes. One hand grips the frame of the door, large, gaudy rings adorning his slender fingers. The other forms a fist that he uses to massage the sleep from his eyes. 

His lean but muscular legs are on full display, given his lack of pants. Light brown hair covers the expanse of his calves and thighs, blending with the rich colors of tattoos that ebb and flow with the contours of his muscles before disappearing under the most absurd apron Steve has ever laid his eyes on. 

Garfield the cat is splayed out across his chest, eating a bowl of pasta. A word bubble above him noting that he's "an eater, not a cooker."  

It's so cartoonish and out of place on his ink-covered body. Black lines weave up and down his arms, too. Drops of red and white accenting the purposely erratic lines. Steve can't help but stare at the work of art on this man's body. It's a glorified eye spy of sorts. Meaningful shapes and words hidden within the lines and floral designs. Steve thinks he makes out a music note in the mix, maybe even a heart with a W doodled inside. 

Mr. Darkness clears his throat, pulling Steve from his ogling. He feels his cheeks burn under the intense gaze brought upon him. A pit forms in his stomach as he takes in Mr. Darkness's face again. He's sporting an equal look of utter confusion. Lips barely parted, owlish eyes beating into Steve's. 

"Well," he clears his throat again before pulling at the hem of his tacky apron. "You're not the Bible thumpers." 

"I am not." 

It's hard not to squirm under the man's intense gaze as his eyes trail up and down Steve's body. Taking him in bit by bit — Steve can't help the rush of blood that pools below his belt. It's not his fault this man is simultaneously sizing him up and taking him apart. 

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my terrible mailman," the man jests, letting his weight fall against the half-opened door. "To what do I owe the displeasure." 

"It seems like some of your mail has slipped through the cracks at the post office," Steve says with an air of causality he hopes pays off. "M'just here to deliver it and apologize for them losing it." 

"Right, 'cause the post office lost it. Not my mailman who hates my house." 

"I don't hate your house!" Steve objects.

"That's two lies in under a minute. I don't think your boss will be too happy to learn that you're lying to your customers…" the man trails off, gesturing at Steve. 

It takes a moment for Steve to realize this is his way of asking for his name. Steve considered giving him a fake one just in case Mr. Darkness himself is serious about reporting his wrongdoings. But it would only take his boss a matter of seconds to figure out who he was really talking about, so Steve decides to tell the truth. 

"Steve." 

"So you are the mailman that has all the housewives of this here street's panties in a twist." 

It doesn't seem possible, but Steve feels his face heat up even more. He's never been a big blusher, not even in high school when he was pumped full of alcohol and had girls dangling off both his arms. But he doesn't need a mirror to know he's been rendered into a blushing mess in under five minutes by Mr. Darkness. God, it's probably so obvious against the harsh backdrop of his house and the navy blue polo of his work uniform. 

"Look," Steve trails off, eyes glancing down towards the mail bin in his hands. He tries to catch sight of Mr. Darkness's real name, but all the letters on top are still addressed to an E. Munson. And he's not about to call this guy Mr. Munson. That's reserved for his superiors and this guy is anything but. 

"Eddie," Eddie supplies, the corner of his mouth twitching up momentarily. 

Steve nods. "Right, Eddie, I don't hate your house, and I'm really sorry about the…" Steve trails off again. His nose turns up as he's hit with an overwhelming waft of something burning. A smell he's accustomed to smelling, thanks to Robin's need to cook despite the kitchen's hatred for her. "Is something burning?" 

"My bacon!" 

Read more on November 5!

[this-is-lightning]

Supercorp FicRec P. 29

The next part in my ongoing ficrec series. I go through my bookmarks on AO3 and select the ones I like the best and add a little commentary on why. 5 fics per part. 

Masterpost

we're playing to a full house, darling (but this show can't go on) by the_ominous_owl

Kara’s struggling to find work. Lena’s struggling to find herself. When fate (with some help from Cat Grant) casts them into the same orbit they find themselves completely off-script, because while everyone knows about the sins of the father, they're somewhat less clear about the sins of one’s siblings. Throw into that an audience hungry for stories at the expense of fact, a showrunner with a plan nobody saw coming, and a co-star who steadfastly refuses to keep it in his pants, and you’ve got a tale so dramatic even the protagonists have noticed. or the one where they’re both actresses with a surprising amount of baggage for two people who haven’t met yet.

w: 37,360

r: teen and up

The actress trope done very, very well. Slowburn. Lena's got it so very bad but shes got baggage. Kara is captain oblivious. They figure it out tho. Lots of intimacy and feelings. There's a part two bt that ones still a wip.

It's Funny Right up Until It's Not by ThornedRose44

It's funny because it's harmless… It's funny because it's never a big deal… It's funny because it's forgotten by the next day… It's funny because she's fine. She's always fine… Until… she’s not...

w: 12,131

r: mature

Yea so this one cut deep. Happy ending but were digging into the "haha quarterly assassination lol" witch is really not funny at all. Angst but so so heartfelt and wonderful. Some-when after S5.

musings from 504 by sapphic_luthor

“We got Supergirl’s mail again,” a voice calls from behind a massive, unidentifiable sculpture as it steps through the door. He sets the piece down just as the words leave his mouth, and then the dark-haired boy spins to face you, hand outstretched to drop a letter onto the countertop, and he breathes, “Oh, fuck.” You look toward your new roommates, and register the panic on their faces. “Wait,” you say, but your mind is jumping to conclusions that your mouth is far too embarrassed to vocalize, so you find that you don’t have any follow-up. “Are you--” you start, but you know it’s true even before you ask. “Seriously?”

w: 7,670

r: teen and up

So how much do we all think Kara's neighbors know about her life? An outsiders perspective on the Superfriends. Funny and fun and heartfelt.

Bizarre Love Triangle by powergrapes

One day, two women meet on the subway. The recently dumped Lena is recovering from a broken heart, and Kara is grappling with the open-ish relationship she has with her long-distance boyfriend. They decide that they’re going to become friends. The kind of friends who also have totally casual, no-strings-attached, nobody’s-catching-feelings sex. What could go wrong? As Alex puts it: “Kara. This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. And I’m including the time that you set fire to your own hair and nearly burned the house down trying to do some spell you found on MySpace to make Troy Bolton materialize in real life and marry you.” Or: Lena and Kara go around New York City eating food and banging each other until their feelings eat away at them, and Alex tries not to have an aneurysm about it.

w: 113,061

r: explicit

So so so well written. Gets pretty angsty but the payoff is so worth it. Lots of feelings and fun and fluff too. And very VERY good smut. A MUST read!

The Luthor Family by MyCatIsMyEditor

Following Lex’s death Lena finds herself guardian to the four year old nephew she never knew existed. She also finds herself in need of help. Who better to help her than her best friend and National City’s favourite Kryptonian. It’s just a little awkward that her nephew is scared of Supergirl. OR Kara and Lena raising Lex’s son while slowly getting together with a bunch of cute fluff and some angst thrown in as they work together to be the best parents possible to a scared little boy.

w: 95,676

r: mature

Digs a lot into the issues with fostering a child who was neglected and abused. But its very well done and there's a lot of fluff too. Kara and Lena slip into the parent role very well. But of course this whoe situation digs up issues of theirs too. They build a wonderful family and support net and finally get to be so so happy with everyone at their side.

Don't forget to leave some love for the writers on AO3! Much love and happy reading!

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #19: “Damnesia You” | April 10, 2009 - 12:15AM | S02E09

This was just so great, man. I loved this so much. I don’t even want to review this all that much. Fuck it! I won’t! There have been a bunch of special episodes lately. The Racist one! The one-long-sketch one! This one! This one starts off like Damnesia Vu, with Xavier in the room with all them colored doors. He’s in some kind of mind-palace, if you’ll recall. In this one the doors lead to different viewer-submitted home-made versions of Xavier: Renegade Angel. Some of them are animated (both traditionally and not), and some of them are live-action, and some of them are a mix of both. 

A lot of the people and voices and styles seem vaguely familiar, at least to me. David Dineen-Porter is a guy I’ve seen perform comedy, and he is way brilliant. I read something on Reddit saying one of the guy’s is shmorky. I don’t actually know who shmorky is except for the fact that people say his name while grimacing and lowering their head in prayer. I googled it: it turns out he was involved in a “no bueno” situation. AHHH!!!

The episode takes the fan submissions and lets them play, sometimes. Sometimes the editors remix the entities a bit, which is nice of them.

Rather than talk about the content of the episode I am just gonna say this: I got high as fuck before watching it because it’s snowing outside, and that’s a good reason to use marijuana at 3PM. It probably helped me watch this three times, which I did. I watched it twice on the Adult Swim app, but the second time I pressed play was a mistake, and I just let it roll. “Roll that beautiful bean footage” I should have said.

The third time I watched it on DVD because I couldn’t identify the screengrab from shmorky’s cartoon, which I wanted to identify out of morbid curiosity, and the Adult Swim Roku app sucks for if you want to pause the episode. It sucks if you want to watch the last ten seconds of the episode without the screen dimming and being covered up by a big thumbnail of the next show in the autoplay, even if the credits are rolling over the final moments of the story. It fucking blows. 

I broke out the DVD just so I could pause it properly and read the names of the entries. I made a list of all of them here, because I don’t think there’s a list of them online anywhere, and that seems valuable, maybe.

The only other guy I actually remember here is David Dineen-Porter, who I’ve seen perform comedy and thought was brilliant. His IMDB shows that he wrote on the James Corden show. I hope he made an obscene amount of money and is currently buying lots of guns with it (I mean this nicely). 

Also, I found a link to every entry on it’s own. 

Grant “Manfred” Duffrin - Xavier Lends a Helping Hand Eric “Emotikkkon” Binmoeller - Meerkats David Dineen-[“] Porter: Self the Eye the Sees The Cream Within Shelby A. Hohl - As Above So Below Andrew De“hole”Young - Prism Jay Z. Yum David “He” Health - Gazzavier Renegade Angel Goes Up A Mountain Chiyoung “2:29” Lee DDS - Catch They Neighbor Robert “t S”mith - Omnippletence/The Phone Call Colyn “Bynumb” Emery - Art What Art Thou Dave “Da Grave Slave” Kelly - Xavier Looks Behind His Eye Amy “Peanut butter” Warner - Dog Eats Ketchup (couldn't find) John “Bobby ‘the ‘der’ Sanch’ Sanchez” Santos - Sueo Mojado Jason Dorris - Portly “n’ Jelly” Porthole Bo “Bikey” Thrice - Superhole Shuffle

Also: Those CLOSING CREDITS! A friend of mine told me to look out for them, and I said "okay".

MAIL BAG:

the cinco brothers are electric. they should bring them back and let them tell more stories about their lives.

The Sinko Brothers are in jail for nasty crimes and I hope they stay there. This thought is crude. Shame on you

[spoiledleaff]

🌿✨ silly little sleep token bracelet giveaway!!✨🌿

hey, hello! :D this post is a give-away post!! i've never done one of these before so forgive me if the setup is a little funky, haha! :') but, anyways! i attended the nyc sleep token ritual at radio city music hall, and i made a massive amount of bracelets for it! :) i did the same thing when i went to see ghost last summer, but this time i unfortunately wasn't able to take the time to make sure i gave all of them away, so i have some extra bracelets left!! :D it feels a little weird to keep them for myself, haha! so this is where you might come in! >:)c

out of exactly 100 bracelets, i'm happy to report that i only have 9 bracelets left! 🌿✨ the 9 that i do have left consist of 2 bracelets for iii and 7 bracelets for iv! :)

these are the bracelets i'm offering up! :D but — since the circumstances for this giveaway are a little more unique, haha! — what are some rules for this? :0 well!

✿ this giveaway is aimed towards anyone and everyone who attended a ritual during the teeth of god tour! you don't have to have attended specifically the ritual at radio city music hall! :) however! please be aware that if i happen to receive multiple/more than one messages at a time, people who did attend the nyc ritual will receive priority/first picks. i don't mean to be rude to anyone! this is just because i also attended the nyc ritual :) i hope that makes sense! i won’t be asking for proof, but i also don’t expect this post to just magically blow up, haha! so i’m taking everybody’s word for this :)

✿ ideally, to give many people a chance to snag a bracelet, i would like to limit the amount of bracelets to one per person!

✿ i hope to mail the bracelets to people who would like one, so, needles to say, please be ready to offer up a valid mailing address where i can send the bracelets to! however, because i hope to mail these little guys, i'm afraid i'm also going to have to ask that this giveaway stays in the united states. ugh! i know, i know! i really wanted to extend this silly little thing to outside the usa, but i think it might be wiser for me personally — since it's my first time doing something like this — if i kept this to inside the usa. i'm so sorry to my dear friends in other parts of the world!! QAQ

✿ lastly, this giveaway is completely free!! :D however, i did have some lovely people ask if i wanted to take a 'tip' for various reasons and, even though i did say 'no', there were some kind people who really insisted i take a little something :') so! if you would like—though this is not at all necessary! i do have some additional means where people can send a small little tip if they might like to :)

✿ finally, please feel free to dm me if you're interested at all!! :D please include the aforementioned proof as well as if you have a preference for which bracelet you might like to receive! :D also please feel free to dm with any questions about the bracelets too! :) i know i don’t take the greatest pictures, haha! so if there’s one that catches your eye, please feel free to ask to see it up close! :D

oki-dokie! i think that's pretty much everything! :) haha! i've never done one of these before so i do apologize if this is very rambly//over explaining and whatnot :'D but! i had such a fun time making these bracelets, and an even bigger of a blast handing them out and meeting new people and experiencing the nyc ritual with everyone too :) thank you for reading!!! ♡♡ and thank you for participating if you so choose to!! :D

also, haha! if anyone was curious as to if you happened to meet me at the ritual, here’s a silly little fit pic featuring my housemate’s cat saying hello, haha! ♡

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

Valentine’s Day (Tom Branson x y/n)

CONTENTS: smut (not to much I cut away) ⚠️ Fluff, kissing.

AUTHORS NOTE 📝: I worked really hard on this. It’s longer than most of the things I write. It was harder to make than the others and I put more effort into it so please like 👍

(Toms pov)

the servants hall is bustling with people chatting over breakfast. There was a significant increase in the amount of mail everyone got.

“why is there so much mail on a Tuesday?” mrs. Hughes questioned

“it’s saint Valentine’s Day” mr. Carson answered

“for you mr. Branson” said the kitchen maid daisy handing me a letter. I looked at the letter and saw the lovely writing of y/n. I decided that I would go into the hallway to read it. It read:

my love,

Happy Valentine’s Day. I think of you every moment of the day. Soon we will be able to be together in front of everyone. But I hope tonight you will come to my room at after dinner. I love you ever so

Sincerely, y/n

I blushed y/n wanted me to visit her tonight! On Valentine’s Day! I have been in a secret relationship for at least 2 years now. We were madly in love with each other. But we both knew we wanted to be more than just an affair. Her parents were trying to set her up with sir Richard Carlisle but she hated him. She was trying to find the right time to tell her parents about us. Anna saw me smiling at the letter in the hallway.

“got a sweetheart mr. Branson?” She joked.

“I suppose so” I chuckled smiling

(Y/n’s pov)

That day I was very excited for it was Valentine’s Day. Not because of the fancy dinners or gifts from suitors. And I did have many suitors who gave me extravagant gifts. But because I was going to see Tom tonight. I knew that so when I got ready for dinner I decided to put on one of my best and favorite dresses. So When tom came to your room he would see you after dinner he would see you like this.

This is the dress you choose. (I love it so much)

The dress perfectly hugged my waist and showed my breasts prominently. I even asked anna to do my hair in a special way.

(Your hair is like this with the clip in it like rose from titanic. This shows that y/n is more adventurous bc it was the norm to have your hair up back then)

Feeling confident in my look I went into the drawing room “ah y/n! You look nice.” Mama said as I sat down in the armchair

“Thank you” I replied smiling because today I did put in more of an effort.

“oh? Trying to attract more suitors are we” granny said chuckling. I decided to ignore her remark

“dinner is served malady” Carson said coming into the room. We all filed out of the drawing room to the dining room. Dinner went smoothly. Mrs. patmore had prepared a delicious dinner.

”but y/n there are plenty of young rich suitors out there and your not getting any younger” granny violet said

but grandmama I don’t want to marry for a title I want to marry for love. What’s so wrong with that?”

“well there’s nothing wrong with that unless your marring a servant” papa joked

the rest of the dinner went by smoothly. But I couldn’t really listen to them talk. All I could think about was Tom. The way he held me. The way he kissed me. And finally the dinner was over. I decided to go upstairs early and tell them that I wasn’t feeling well. That way i wouldn’t need Anna to undress me. And I went into my room.

(Toms pov)

it was late but I was wide awake. All I had been able to think about today was y/n. I looked to make sure no one was there and then made my way to her room by candlelight 🕯

I opened the door to see her sitting down on her bed in her dinner dress. She looked absolutely breathtaking. She looked like Aphrodite herself.I smiled at her and she smiled back “ hello love” I say

“Oh tom” she said rushing into my arms “I love you” and we shared a very passionate kiss

“ I want to tell them about us.”

“what” I say pulling away. A bit taken a back at first.

“they want me to marry soon. And I choose you”

I felt like I was going to cry of joy! “Love, I have been waiting for you to say that for 2 years.” I said “when should we tell them?”

“tomorrow I think. It will be quite a shock but we need to not back down”

(Y/n pov)

I kissed him fiercely and unlike before my kisses weren’t just full of love I want more. Tom could tell this and pushed me back “we’re not married yet. Y/n no matter how much I want to it we’re not married” he said also fighting the urge to kiss back. He wanted it just as much as her.

“we’re to be wed. And we’re in love isn’t that enough” I said looking at him

he didn’t respond and instead closed the gap in between us with his lips. He pushed me on the bed started sucking my neck. It felt so good that I let out a moan. He helped me take my dress off as I unbottoned his shirt. My dress took much longer to take off then his shirt. But when it was finally off he just starred at me with his mouth agape. I covered myself insucure.

“no love” he said reaching up to caress my cheek. “Your beautiful”

-skip cus yk what happened next 🍋🍋🍋-

when I wake up I am on my silk sheets in my bed naked next to Tom Branson. Luckily it was still night and he could get away. It was around 3 am so the staff wouldn’t be up yet.

“Tom” I said slightly shaking him

“what love?”

“you have to go” I said with a sad look on my face “I wish you could stay”

he kissed my hand and got up. He picked his clothes off the floor and got dressed.

“I’m sorry to say you won’t get much sleep”

“I wouldn’t sleep for a week if it meant I could spend another night with you” he turned to me smiling while buttoning up his shirt. I slowly walked over to the door to give him a goodbye kiss. But my legs were shaking and I was heavily sore so I had to lean against the wall and Tom.

“goodbye darling” I said with my hands around his neck and I gave him one last goodbye kiss. “Tomorrow we tell the world” and we both smiled. I looked as he peered out the door to make sure no one was there. And then slipped away quietly into the hallway.

I hope you guys liked it I worked really hard on this one and it was hard to write. But I had fun and happy Valentine’s Day! This took me a long time.

Ty for reading

[deancaspinefest]

Everything's Fine

Author: butterflyslinky | Artist: DeanCodedCasNB Posting on Friday March 3

Dean has been offered his dream job: Personal Assistant to Editor-in-Chief Castiel Novak. Unfortunately, his boyfriend Michael has other plans for their futures.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Castiel barely glanced up as Hannah knocked on his office door. “What?” She walked in, ignoring his curt tone, stepping around the clutter of papers and boxes all over the floor. “Just letting you know we’ve hired a new assistant for you. He starts in January.” “Another one? You know I hate having assistants.” “And you know you can’t do literally everything yourself. Don’t worry, this one seems better.” Castiel sighed and leaned away from his computer to actually look at her. “Fine, tell me about him.” Hannah moved a stack of files off the other chair and sat down. “Dean Winchester. KU, English Lit. Just out of school so you can train him how you like. He was very sensitive in the interview, and very charming…polite, but with a good amount of sass. Seems like a good snap-to little soldier anyway.” “Come on, Hannah. What am I even supposed to do with an assistant?” “Have him screen your mail and calls, grab you lunch, set up meetings, make sure nothing off the slush pile somehow makes its way to you without vetting…normal stuff.” “I enjoy seeing the shit from the bottom of the slush pile.” “You don’t have time for it, Castiel. You’re editor-in-chief now, you have actual responsibilities. And you need someone to help you organize this place” “I know, I know…shouldn’t have accepted the promotion if I don’t want to be the boss.” Castiel rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, well, this is why you don’t listen to the fuckwit who keeps pressuring you to rise above the point where you’re happy so he can squeeze more cash out of you. I mean, you’re a mess…you’re exhausted, you’re snappish, you’re three sentences away from offending our top author. You need someone to help lighten this load, and you’ve failed miserably at keeping anyone on board to do that.” Castiel sighed. Hannah was right, of course. The only reason he’d taken the promotion was because his last boyfriend had pressured him into it. But Bart was gone now, having ditched Castiel for some rich Broadway producer, leaving Castiel with nothing but a way-too-big apartment and several maxed out credit cards. Both of which meant Castiel couldn’t take a voluntary demotion, leaving him stuck in a job he hated. Okay, maybe not hated. Castiel did like some aspects of being the head editor. The corner office and salary were nice, and it was good to have the final say on what was published. But it also meant talking to a lot more business people than he liked, and that he missed the more fun but terrible books on the slush pile. Not that he would ever let those go out the door, but reading them was the best entertainment he’d ever had. And worst of all were the assistants. Castiel had only been in the job for a year, but he had already gone through four of them. He felt a little bit bad about it; it wasn’t like any of his previous assistants had been bad people. But none of them had been especially helpful to him, getting in his way more often than not, or messing up his routines too much for him to function. He hadn’t even fired all of them; the last one had quit because she thought he was too particular about things. Which he was, but it wasn’t something he could help. And now there was a new one he’d have to try and train. “Try to go easy on this one,” Hannah said. “He’s moving all the way here from Kansas, so it will be very expensive for both him and the company if you only keep him for three months.” “Fine,” Castiel said. “Can I get the resume?” “Right here.” She handed him a single sheet of paper. Castiel skimmed it quickly. The kid didn’t seem that special; a BA in English and several years working on and off as a mechanic. No clerical experience to speak of, but Castiel figured that could be a good thing. If Dean didn’t have experience, it meant he didn’t have any bad habits to break. “He just graduate?” he asked. “Back in May, yes…so he’s very young, even compared to you. I thought that would be easier if you do decide to fire him immediately.” “Fine, fine.” Castiel set the paper aside. “That all? I have a mountain of drafts to approve.” “That and your mother called the front desk again to ask if you’d consider joining her for Christmas. I told her to call your cell phone, and she told me you never answer it.” “Because she only wants me there so she can set me up with whatever nice girl she’s found now. So tell her I’m busy.” “That’s another reason you need an assistant,” Hannah said. “But until Dean arrives, you can tell her yourself.”

 [continue reading on Ao3 on Friday March 3]

[sumire-no-nikki]

「Murakami-san’s Place」 Advice Column Translation

Answered by Haruki Murakami Illustrated by Masaru Fujimoto

Preface

I don’t often make public appearances and so once every few years, I exchange email and such with my readers for a limited time. The last time I did this was about nine years ago, and even back then, I received so much mail that it was tough to read through all of them. But this time, driven by the growing pervasiveness of the ever convenient smartphone, the amount of email I received exceeded even my greatest expectations and it has become quite the ordeal. In the end, it required over three months to read the 37,465 emails that were sent within the span of 17 days. But I read through all of them properly! From that number I selected and replied to 3,716 emails. And from there, 473 emails have been put into this book. Quite frankly, I was exhausted. My shoulders were stiff, my eyes hurt, and I had three months’ worth of work I haven’t done. What a disaster, I thought. But since it’s something I’ve started, I stuck by fully completing it. I felt like I was holding a shovel alone, ploughing through a big snow fall that kept on going with no end in sight. I was quite unsteady in the end. But despite the trouble, it was very fun. I literally received a mountain of questions and information from around the world. When I read them I thought, “I see, I am rather intimately connected with the world in this way.” I’ve come to really understand that little by little. What I keenly feel as I continue to do this work is that there are things in the world to which volume is important. That is, at any rate, the full extent of any given situation come into view when things are piled in front of you in bulk. See, I think smart people wouldn’t set out on such a troublesome task like this in the first place. Honestly speaking, there were times when even I thought to myself, “why have I gone and started on such a bothersome whimsy,” and regretted the whole thing. But surely there is meaning in it precisely because it is bothersome. When things have suddenly piled up, I can actually see it with my eyes and feel it with my hands. That’s when I think “oh, that’s right, this is what I wanted to do,” and finally feel satisfied. It’s very important to be able to see with your own eyes and touch with your own hands. That’s what I think.

The 473 emails that have been put into this book were carefully handpicked by myself and the staff, but there were others that were too good to pass on, so an e-book that compiles all of the 3,716 emails answered has been released alongside this book called “Mr. Murakami’s Place Complete Edition.” Please read that as well if you’re interested. But it seems like you would have to be quite determined to read this one through as it is, so please hang in there! Furthermore, the emails of those who had not given their consent for publication, as a general rule, have been discarded. I appreciate your understanding. At the time I was to start this project, Mizumaru Anzai, who I have been working with all this time, suddenly passed away. I was worried about what to do, but Masaru Fujimoto picked up where he left off and furnished the text with delightful and wonderful illustrations. Thanks to that, I was able to also enjoy doing the work. I am sincerely grateful.

[ translated entries masterpost ]

Please Note: This is an unofficial translation. I do this in my spare time and at my own pace. This is for my personal use. Please do not repost or reproduce this without my permission.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Question: cringe culture is 100% dead, but I'm curious what you'd pick as your most embarrassing fandom, past or present? I know some people consider supernatural to be a guilty pleasure but honestly there's some other fandoms that I'm way more embarrassed to still like

Generally, I’m not really embarrassed about any of the stuff I’ve been into. If I liked it, clearly it brought me joy at the time and that’s what matters. You know, how would I be the person I am today if I didn’t play Undertale or even if I didn’t read every creepypasta I could get my hands on as a kid? That plus my memory problems means no cringe for me lol. But I guess I could talk about a few.

MLP was back when the show was still airing — I want to say 3rd or 4th season? — and I just dove into the fandom because ‘woah guys did you know that people write stories about the ponies? That there are infinite amount of stories to read?’ Which, you know, ups and downs, you got your Keepers of Discord but you’ve also got your Cupcakes. (Though, to be honest, the fact that I had a reading of Cupcakes bookmarked on my computer to listen to to help me fall asleep? probably explains uhm. Some Stuff About Me.) Honestly, wouldn’t trade my time with MLP for anything, and I still love the show and a lot of fanworks dearly. I rewatch Lullaby for a Princess every few weeks, I reread Something Sweet To Bite every Halloween, and when I can’t sleep, I still find myself going to ObabScribbler or TheLostNarrator’s YouTube channels to find fic readings to calm my brain down.

Dream SMP is… more complicated. Obviously, if you know anything about it, you know all the shit that came out. I won’t get into that here because that’s not really a part of my experience? Just sort of a gross thing that overshadows it all, even though I was out of the fandom before any of that stuff was known. I actually got into it to bond with my little sister, she loved that stuff, and damn it all, but I got unironically sucked in by just the fantastic work that came out of a fandom surrounding a minecraft roleplay server lol. They aren’t wrong about the art that got made for those YouTubers, it’s all stunningly good. And it’s how I found Sad-ist’s animations on YouTube. Still subscribed to them, their work is always beautiful to watch, the old Dream SMP stuff and the new stuff. And I liked bonding with my sister over the bonkers minecraft lore. The end of that hyperfixation was when Technoblade died. Got too real, all of a sudden, too close to home, and I peaced out hard. It was good, though, while I was there. I liked having something to talk to my sister about.

Uhhhh okay out of that downer ending let’s talk about Sherlock. Yes hi hello original superwholock-er here, despite only seeing the first two seasons of doctor who but IT COUNTS. I can’t even be mad at past me for liking Sherlock because I probably wouldn’t be as close to my friends as I am if we hadn’t all been watching s3-4 live. And dunking hard on s4. I was never a johnlock conspiracy person, so that helps. There was the time my friend read us outloud some Johnlock mpreg ass birth fanfic in math class. That was… an experience. I give this a “I can’t plug my phone in without being haunted by his voice”/10

And finally, back to serious town, Harry Potter. I don’t even have anything good to say here, really. The whole “mourning something important to my childhood” phase is long over, the damage continues to be done, and. And nothing. I just don’t want to see it anymore. It’s not shame or cringe, I guess, it’s more like… disappointment. Not at myself, because fuck it, dude, I was a kid, I knew everything there was to know about the books, I waited for the mail when I turned eleven, I wrote “Hogwarts is my Home” on the inside of my closet like a ward to keep me safe. The first thing I ever read about being trans was a damn Harry Potter fic, one of the first podfics I ever made, too, though I was too chicken to post it. So what’s left except disappointment, even the anger long gone because it just keeps happening. I just don’t want to see it anymore.

Anyway, uhhhhm. Hope that suffices as an answer lol, I rambled on way too long.

[ohmytomorrowisthursday]

Until I Fall - Part Thirteen

Levi Ackerman x Fem Reader.

Eventual romance but this is a slow burn, definitely angsty and darker. It will also focus a lot on Hange, Erwin and the original scouts. Eren and the 104th training corps will be around but I’m focusing on the older characters in here. Your self insert name is ‘Azeria Becker’ pronouns She/Her/Hers. Using a name because don’t like using ‘y/n’.  

Cannon universe. I wrote this for myself but I hope that you enjoy it, too lol <3

cw: imagine literally every awful/gory thing that happens in SNK. Death, violence and gore. Drinking, sex. (bolded ones in this chapter)

I will be releasing 2 chapters at a time every few days. You can find all chapters here.

The afternoon was eaten up with sending letters. Hange had given you not just a pile - but what looked to be a crate full of letters to send away to people. The sheer amount of letters was shocking to you- there had been so much loss after just one expedition. Did Hange and the higher members write these after every expedition? It hurt you to think of the people who would be reading these letters on the other side- parents, siblings, friends. When would you be in one of these letters too? What must go through your head when you’re always the one who survived? Maybe that was why Shadis had stepped down.  Still, you tried your keep your mind focused on your task and not dwell in the darkness of the situation. 

Finally though, it happened; a letter to Oliver’s parents was in your hands. Your eyes swelled with tears. They could never know what happened to him. How scared he was, or how bloody it had been. It was the worst secret that you’d ever have to keep. And still, those secrets would just keep happening, because people were always going to keep dying and you’d always have to keep those nightmares to yourself. How did everyone do it? How did Hange, Mike, Levi and Erwin manage to keep such a brave face? Did it ever get easier? You placed his letter in the pile for the Utopia district and continued on.

After you had finished, you headed over to the reserves and recruited carriers for the job; the injured or recently recovered who were often employed for tasks such as this. As they all rode away, the sun began falling and the air cooled; it was finally done. You had been so immersed in the work, that you hadn’t realized how tired you’d become. After a day that felt a million years long, you finally headed for the dining hall.

Like all moments during that day, you finally saw how few Scouts were really left. The hall was sparsely peppered with people, eating solemnly and silently. The sadness that lingered in the air felt all the more draining; where was the noise? You slumped down at a table alone and started writing and drinking a hot cup of tea. 

“Hey, there you are. I was starting to think that you’d ran away,” Levi’s voice cut from above you. You kept your eyes focused on the writing, “Sorry to disappoint, I’m still here. I was doing work for Hange today. I was hiding in an office all afternoon.” He sat down beside you, placing his tea and food down at the table. “Oh great,” he groaned, “The two craziest scouts teaming up together. That’s always a good sign.”

You lifted your eyes and turned to point at him with your pen, “Has it ever occurred to you that you keep befriending the craziest people? What does that say about you, huh?” 

He looked at you with his disinterested glare, “It means pickings are slim for friends around here.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Ugh, you are so annoying.” He looked down at the paper resting in front of you, “What are you doing?”

“Writing a letter to my parents,” you sighed, “I should let them know I’m okay. I had to mail out letters to people’s families today and I’m sure that everyone will start talking about our latest massacre as soon as they catch wind of it.” Levi sat quiet for a moment, looking down at the half written sheet. “Are you not going to eat dinner?” He finally asked. You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m not that hungry today.” Suddenly, Levi’s face turned to anger, “Like hell you aren’t.” He lifted himself from the table and walked off. You turned and watched as he got another serving of food from the cook and wandered back over, placing it in front of your letter. “You need to eat, idiot,” he shook his head and sipped on his tea. You tried to conceal the smile that you had on your face as you reached for a bite, “Thanks.”

“Where do your parents live?” He asked. You were surprised, since when does he want to know about me? “They live in Orvud district. Out in the northwest of town,” you replied. His eyebrows raised, “Orvud? Wow. What the hell are you doing here?” 

It made you embarrassed, “What do you mean?” 

“You clearly must be from a good family if you’re from Orvud,” he crossed his arms, “Why did you leave and come all the way out here? I’m sure you could have easily become an MP.”

You blushed, “I grew up comfortably, I guess. But I’ve always wanted to be a scout. The MP’s don’t do anything. They just sit around all day, drinking and playing cards. The only time they ever act is when some rich lord would get bent out of shape because some poor soul had to steal food from their land. Why would I want to do that?” 

He looked at you with his usual unreadable face. “Your parents must have been thrilled when you told them that you didn’t want to join the MP’s,” he said sarcastically. You let out an exasperated laugh, “Oh you don’t know the half of it. I had been working as an apprentice mechanic for them and we were contracted out by the MP’s. My parents had spent years setting me up to become one. When I told them that I wanted to be in the Survey Corps, they nearly disowned me.” 

He was listening intently to you. Finally, he sighed and reached for his cup, “I was right, you are crazy,” he smirked at you.

“Excuse me?” You asked, feigning annoyance. 

“You graduated at the top of your class, you’re smart and educated and you’re from the richest district outside of Mitras and you decided to move away and risk your life fighting titans. You’re crazy,” The two of you stared at one another, your face blushing from embarrassment. “I like it,” he added. You nudged him in the arm and smiled. 

“Why did you join the Survey Corps?” 

Levi’s grey eyes were staring down at his teacup, empty now. He shook his head in amusement, “Erwin recruited me. That’s not really a good way of putting it- I joined to kill Erwin for some guy in the interior, and in the end it was either staying here or going back to the underground. I guess you can tell which one I chose.” 

You were stunned and confused. “…Oh?”was all that managed to escape your mouth. “Wait- you need to elaborate now.” 

And so he did. He told you about his life in the underground, running a gang and stealing from the lords who controlled the stairs. Running from Erwin and being held at knifepoint to join. His friends and their deal to assasinate Erwin in exchange for freedom. You were entranced as he told you. It was hard to imagine that right below your feet as you grew up, there was an entire world of people who had never seen the sky. It was horrifying. Looking at him now, you couldn’t even imagine what he had seen in his life. 

“Is there any family of yours left in the underground?” 

“No. My mother died when I was young and I was her only kid. Kenny- who knows where he is now. I haven’t been back once since I left. I can’t imagine much has changed. Same rotten shit hole it always was.” 

He looked down at the table in front of you. “Ah, good, it worked.” You looked down to see that you had eaten all of the food he had brought for you. Butterflies filled your stomach. He was never sweet but he was kind. He just had a funny way of showing that he cared. “Do you feel better now, brat?” He asked, seemingly pleased that he had gotten you to forget about the dark mood of the day. You smiled back at him, “Yes, thank you.” 

“I know that it’s not easy to go through a loss like that, but you need to take care of yourself. There’s no point in being here if you’re too weak to fight.” 

You nodded. He was right- you felt a lot better now that you had some energy. “I don’t know how you do it,” you said, flatly. 

He kind of shrugged, “I don’t know either. It’s best not to think about the past, it’ll eat you up alive. As long as you know that you did what you felt was right, there’s nothing else you can do. We just need to win.” 

“You’re a very strong person, Levi,” You looked into his eyes shadowed by his dark hair. He was so handsome, and the more you learned, the more beautiful he looked. You had never met anyone in the world quite like him. He grabbed the back of his neck and turned away from you “Tch. It’s nothing,” he offered. “Do you want to train tomorrow? I want to work on my hand-to-hand,” He asked.

You sighed, “There’s nothing I’d like to do more than beat you up tomorrow but I think my body is still too injured. I’ll have to wait a few more days.” He looked down and nodded, it seemed like he was disappointed. “Do you want to join me in helping the veterinarians tomorrow? We’ve got too many horses and too few people,” You said.

“Alright,” he replied, lifting himself from the table, “I’m exhausted. Goodnight, brat. See you tomorrow.”

You wandered over to the fireplace in the dining hall, sitting cross legged in front of it, watching the flames dance around. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. Levi Ackerman. Dark hair. Calloused hands from all the hell he had been through. Tired eyes. A kind heart. Why did you feel this way? The guilt fell over you once more. It felt selfish to say, because there was so much to do. But you couldn’t stop yourself. All you wanted was more of him. More seconds with him- less of that time fighting titans and more of it here, in the dining halls and in your dorm. You thought about how his hand held yours; the rough feeling of his hand. It was so warm. You wanted him to touch your face with it. A rushing feeling washed over you and made your heart flutter. Do I have feelings for him?  

You sat and watched the fire until it turned to embers. 

chapter fourteen

[mamayan]

Bro wtf…

The high school student post was wild to read. I almost thought I was on Reddit. Whenever I think I was a bad student (I only ever turned in stuff super super late…and honestly I’m surprised I wasn’t held back a year because of it), then I read stories like your friends and I’m like “nvm, I’m a golden student.”

I hope that kid is expelled and legal charges are pressed (even if it’s only juvy), cause that’s unacceptable. Your friend is stronger than me. I would’ve quit on the spot, told my other students about the incident, e-mail a news station/parents about the school, and just gone scorched earth against the school.

No wonder kids these days (younger gen Z/gen Alpha) can’t read and are considerably dumber than previous generations…(I say this as on old gen zer). People online think I’m crazy abusive for wanting to homeschool any potential future children, but it’s because of stuff like this. I don’t want them to be held back by peers and be part of outrageous drama like this. Either homeschool or I gotta get rich/marry someone rich to enroll the children in a private school with standards…

You get it Nonnie,

Homeschooling kids is honestly the way to go if you can, it’s just hard on parents these days due to finances and time in general necessary to do so.

Yeah I would’ve thrown hands, the school system is just getting more and more corrupt. Policy cuts underpay teachers by ASTRONOMICAL amounts, add in the lack of discipline and actual consequences and we get to this.

But, we can’t forget the kids who do want to learn, who do want a future. My friend teaches for them, even if a few bad eggs make in her carton. I respect that drive and passion, which is why I keep all the bad urges in (like telling her to quit lol, so many already do though).

The kid obviously got reported, I doubt much will come of it. She doesn’t intend to press charges so that’s it kinda. Best I can do is bring treats and provide comfort.

[icinch]

What to Send Big Ticket Prospects in the Mail to Increase Your Sales (Dramatically)

New Post has been published on https://www.cinchhomebiz.com/what-to-send-big-ticket-prospects-in-the-mail-to-increase-your-sales-dramatically/

What to Send Big Ticket Prospects in the Mail to Increase Your Sales (Dramatically)

If you’re selling big ticket items, you’re leaving a tremendous amount of money on the table if you’re not sending your prospects something in the mail. Think about it – anyone and everyone can send an email, but how many sellers reach out via the postal mail to give their prospects something tangible they can hold in their hands?

Better still, “snail” mail can’t be deleted at the click of a button. And if you make it enticing enough, physical mail gets read and acted upon.

So what should you send to your prospects? According to Dave Dee, you should send a packet of info that includes the following:

– A checklist. For example, if you’re selling a service then you would send a checklist entitled: 7 things you should look for when hiring a _____. This way YOU set the buying criteria and you tell the prospect what to look for.

Now here’s the trick – at least ONE of those 7 things must be something that ONLY YOU do. Maybe you provide a service no one else provides, or you do it in a way like no other. Or perhaps your guarantee is unparalleled. Or you offer a free bonus service that everyone else charges for. Or perhaps you have qualifications or proven results that no one else has.

Whatever it is, it has to be something that only you have, so that when they go to compare you to others, no one else measures up to you.

– Include a newsletter of your own. It should be 2 pages long, customer oriented and include:

Bullet point tips – these could come from your website or your book – no need to write new ones

1 article which could again come from your website or your book

1 cartoon (get someone on Fiverr to create this)

1 big mistake that people make and how you correct it

Your picture

– A micro sales letter that sells them on the next step in the sales process, whatever that might be. If it’s making a small order, making a phone call, visiting your website – whatever it might be, you want to move them along in the sales process.

If they don’t respond to this package, Dave Dee follows up with these 3 sequential mailings.

First, he sends a gourmet cookie and a letter in a box. He uses a box so the cookie doesn’t get crushed. His letter begins, “As you can see, I’ve included a cookie. Why have I done this? I wanted to catch your attention. As you can see this is a gourmet cookie. It’s different, just like not all (Your profession, service or product) are created equal…” And then he reiterates his offer. This engages all of their senses and who doesn’t love cookies? Is anyone going to throw this in the trash without at least reading it? Highly unlikely. Are they going to remember it (and you) in the days to come? You bet.

Next he sends a fortune telling fish. It’s simply a little plastic fish that moves in your prospect’s hand. You can find these on novelty sites. Depending on the movement of the fish, it tells you something. The chart that goes with it says if it moves up, it means the prospect is going to call you. If it moves to the left, he’s going to hire you today. If it moves right, he’s going to buy your product, and so forth. No matter how fish moves, it’s a similar call to action

The third mailing is an Aspirin with another letter. This letter starts off with, “Do you still have this problem? We can make your headache go away…”

And if Dave still doesn’t get the response or sale he’s looking for, he then follows up with a year of monthly newsletters.

It sounds like a lot to put together, but once you have the system in place you never have to deal with it again. The newsletter can be timeless, so you can continue to run the same 12 issues. And the sales letters stay the same for as long as you’re selling the same product or service.

Your follow up system doesn’t need to be this elaborate, but one good point to take away is this – acting differently from everyone else and being more creative will get you noticed and it will get you business.