#on buns and ovens

[aakeysmash]

You haven’t seen farmer!sukuna for three whole days. He had to go to the city to get you the grade-A flour you begged him to fetch to be able to make your bread, but a storm made him stay away from you for way longer than what you both can stand. When he fiinally comes back home, you stop swirling your beef stew, turn off the stove, and run to him. Your summer dress flows around you, and he grins, catching you effortlessly when you jump into his open arms.

“Hey,” you smile. It blinds him for a second.

“Hey, wifey,” he responds, matching smile on his face, already brushing his nose with yours.

His fingers dig into the fat of your thighs when your lips descend on his, and he walks you both to the couch while you manage to throw his straw hat on the ground. You grip his hair, savoring the taste of the hum coming out of his throat when you grip it a little bit harder. It tastes of familiarity, of comfort, and a little bit of desperation.

“Did you miss me?” You ask him smugly, mumbling the words on his mouth, a string of saliva still connecting you two. You lick his upper lip with the tip of your tongue, teasing him, circling his head with your arms when he plops down on the worn-out cushions. He squints at you, but his lips still twitch to kiss you again, unable to resist the pull you have on him. His teeth graze your cheek, biting you softly, while his palms drag up and down your exposed legs.

His tanned, calloused fingertips nip your skin, but it’s a pleasurable feeling. A feeling you’re used to. He smirks, groping one buttcheek hard, and forces you closer to his chest. The action makes you keen and sigh, your smile falling from your face to leave space for a trapped moan inside your mouth.

“Dunno, I feel like ya missed me more,” he murmurs between both rough and delicate kisses along your neck. Despite looking like that, all broad and menacing, the soft press of his lips on your skin is the most him thing he’s ever showed you.

“I didn’t miss you-“ you half laugh, stopping briefly to caress his face. His smirk deepens and he kisses your ring finger right on your golden wedding band. “-didn’t miss you at all.”

His large palm moves under your frilly dress, coming down rather harshly on the glob of your ass, before soothing the sting with two little pats. You yelp, your head falling on his shoulder, trying to get even closer to his body heat. You feel his index finger moving along your panties, and he twirls the cotton around the digit before pulling it tight against the spot he knows you want him to pay attention to.

You hear him chuckle while you complain, already dizzy with wanting him all over you. Even though you're on top, you're still being engulfed by him.

“I know she missed me,” he rasps, forcing you to keep your head in the crook of his neck by putting one sprawled hand on your hair.

“Give it to her, then,” you whine, rolling your already damp underwear on the crotch of his jeans. His zip catches delightfully on your clit, and you softly moan in his neck.

“Sure thang, ma. Whatev’r my pretty wife wants,” he snickers, quickly discarding his pants. He barely gets his boxers under his ass, swiping the head of his cock on the front of the panties he still has in a twist around his finger. You try lifting your head to give him a mean glare, but he forces you back against him. Then, he rips the cotton band, getting your whole weight in his free hand without straining at all, lifting you up.

“Let me kiss your other lips too, mh?” He grunts, his lips brushing the side of your face.

“Just put it in, Sukuna,” you talk back, frowning, getting your mouth wide open ready to bite him. Your teeth come down on his skin at the same time his dick starts sinking into you, the feeling of your bodies finally connecting making you clamp down on his throat.

“Eaaasy, tiger,” he chuckles mid whimper, patting your hair. “Relax that jaw, vampire.”

“You can leave a handprint on my ass and I can’t suck your blood?” You pant, the perspiration from your breaths making the air you inhale so much hotter, his hand still deeply rooted on your scalp.

“I’d let you mark my fuckin’ heart, babe,” he mumbles near your ear, his hand tightening on your hip. He lowers you down slowly, letting your wetness drip all over his length. Usually he’d be a little rougher, and he loves how you love it, but since he also loves how tight and perfect you always feel, the fact he hasn’t fucked you in what feels like forever heightens his soft side.

“Shit, relax down here too,” he grumbles, his hand finally leaving your hair just to come rub little circles on your clit. You drop down lower by the second, and when he’s buried to the hilt, he slams his lips on yours. He grips both your hips, surely leaving marks, gyrating them at the same rhythm his tongue tangles with yours.

“Fuck yes. Missed this. Missed you,” he grits out, fucked out expression on his face, cheeks tinted pink and eyes rolled back.

For the next thirty minutes he swallows your moans just like you devour his curses, a cacophony of what’s simply just you. Three days might be little for someone else, but not for you two, so used to spending each waking moment together that you were on the verge of calling him to come back to you at least 34 times today.

You ride him slow but desperate nonetheless, and he lets you jump up and down his cock to your heart’s desire. He likes how you manage to have him wrapped around your pinky, even though he's double your size, and how your thighs are trembling since your pride won't let you ask him for help: it makes it all more fun when he drags you to the bathroom to clean you up. Maybe he'll sneak a little eating out session on the sink if he redeems you're still too sane.

Your dress is still on, just like his chest is still clad in his worn out t-shirt.

“Missed you so much. Wan’ you to cum inside,” you moan, baby hairs all over the place, and right now he thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful. He smiles lazily, his hand coming up to your face to lower your head just enough to drag out a sentence between your lips.

“Want me to put a bun in the oven?”

[demonic0angel]

Prolonged ecto contamination can cause regenerative abilities. This is great when something important is stabbed or a limb is lost. But for other things, not so much.

“Daddy,” A five year old cried, “somethings wrong with mommy!”

Jason ran to his and his wifes room. He stopped by the door, taking in Jazz's tense still frame perched on the edge of their bed. She gazed at a small cylinder object cluched in her hands.

"Jazz?" Jason called.

She slowly lifted her gaze to him and turned the object around, revealing two pink lines.

"Is-is that an old one?" Jason stammered.

Jazz moved her head to side to side.

"Defective?"

"I've done ten of them, all the same."

But, but that couldn't be. Jason mentally floundered. After a failed vasectomy resulting in kid numer six and then a failed tube tying causeing baby number seven, Jazz had a hysterectomy.

Jason opened his mouth to address this but then remembered that their kids were in the room. It wouldn't be good for kids to witness their parents having a meltdown over a positive pregnancy test. Or discuss a possible lawsuit against a certain hospital and surgeon.

Switching gears, Jason called to his kids, "Come on tribe! To the living room for a movie."

"What about Mommy?" the five year old protested.

"Don't worry," Jason scooped up his kid and pecked her forehead. "Your dad got this," he said with way more confidence than he felt.

(OML I LITERALKY FUCKING ROLLED WHEN I SAW THIS ASK ASDFGHHKLLL THIS IS SO FUNNY BC IN MY ORIGINAL IDEAS ABIUT ANGER MANAGEMENT, THEY HAVE 5 KIDS)

Jazz stared at him blankly. Jason stared back. They both stared at each other. Then he admitted, “I don’t think I got this.”

Thank goodness their oldest, Elinor, was able to understand and distract all of her siblings. Now it was just Jason, Jazz, and their Ancient ghost dog alone to discuss what to do next.

Jazz continued staring at him, holding Shadow in her arms before she said, “Y’know, we could….”

“Don’t even start,” he said in exasperation. While he would always give her the choice, he knew that none of them would actually genuinely consider it.

She sighed. “I know. I want it anyways. It’s mine. It’s our baby.”

Her possessiveness was so cute. Jason reached over to hug her, squeezing her gently and placing his chin on her head. It was a bit difficult due to her height, but she hunched over to tuck herself into his arms, so it was a little easier.

“We’ll handle it. Together, like always. It’s not like we’re lacking in money anyways. And we have plenty of rooms and we can get help from our support groups. I can take another break from being Red Hood and you’ve never stopped your online therapy sessions, so I think we can do this.”

Jazz sighed, nodding before she suddenly groaned aloud and used a fist to hit Jason’s chest. Jason blinked. “What?”

“You know what my siblings call me?! They call Miss Weasley! At this rate, we’ll have a football team by the time we’re done!”

Jason tried not to laugh but a twitch must’ve alerted Jazz to his amusement because she looked up at him and glared. Shadow growled lightly on her lap. She scolded, “You’re giving the news to our families again. And I won’t stop Dan from trying to kill you this time.”

“Even if it makes you a single mother to 7 kids?” Jason asked idly.

Jazz paused and then she cursed softly. Jason snorted into her shoulder before Jazz then said, “I think after this, we’re using condoms again.”

Horrified, Jason lifted his head up and stared at her in disbelief and shocked horror. “What!”

“Jason! We have 7 kids now! Can I please get a break!”

Jason groaned, long and loud. Then he sighed, rubbing Jazz’s sides in faux sadness as he bemoaned, “Fine… since I love you so much… I’ll wear protection next time…”

Jazz pinched his cheek with a little narrowed eye stare and smile, shaking lightly but she said, “Thank you, dearest. We’ll handle this together, alright? It won’t be easy, but we’ve done this six times before, we can do this a seventh time. I think I should ask Dan how he does it…” she mumbled more plans to herself, as Jason just held her, closing his eyes.

If his past self was ever told that he’d have a wife and seven kids, he was sure that he’d probably snitch to the cops that someone was hallucinating.

Not that he’d ever trade this for the world, of course.

[hyunpic]

DAILY HYUNJIN GIFS UNTIL HIS BDAY: love you and all your little things - how much you adore skz

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

*Jayvik in the lab for the 30th consecutive hour without sleeping*

Jayce: hey V mind checking on it real quick?

Viktor: dont call our child ‘it’ 😑

Jayce: haha sorry 😅😅 still, its been a few days since we monitored the growth

Viktor: alright 🙄 ill go look

Viktor: *opens up the door to the recycled oven that they converted into a chamber to build their test tube baby* yeah its fine. About the size of a hexcrystal

[onlykenobimatters]

Codywan fic where Jango Fett is sterile and can’t have bio children, thus asking for boba. The clones should also be sterile. Except, well, the kaminoans brag about making the clones better than their genetic donor.

Obi-Wan, unfortunately, considered none of this before having spontaneous unprotected “you’re alive we did it we made it” sex with his commander.

[gurggggleburgle]

Anyone saying that Binghe would be jealous of Shizun’s baby wrong- AMETUERS!

Binghe would not only be enthused and devoted to the child but he'd be the most annoying doting dad spoiling his child and being an asshole at the pta meetings dad you can imagine. Having kids with shizun would be a dream that he doesn't need but would be so happy to have the moment it was offered as an option.

Both him and Shen Qingqiu should share a mutual doting dual pregnancy where they get to give birth at the same time affectionately holding hands through the experience and dreaming of the life they'll have together.

[shirecorn]

Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.

The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos

[infinity-sansa]

Looks like there's a bot problem in the Megatron vs Stanford Pines mpreg poll. Ford went from 51.3% to 47.9% in 2 hours. I'm not fine.

[bsgpiece]

Baking time! 🧡💙

[transingthoseformers]

🤔🤔🤔 thinking about mechpreg in a situation with plug & play interfacing

[omegalerc]

Ricky does this not look like a wag camera cut????? Trying to tell us something fía director?????

https://x.com/v3rlec/status/1867675721323438565?s=46&t=3kuJpIflntq1xyG7Xbw8Sg

gasped initially at the face charles is serving when the camera panned to him but yeaaaaaaa not understanding why they felt the need to show us sharl’s reaction.

[joycieillustrations]

A doodle of young Jaehaerys and Alysanne from my neverending pile of Targ sketches 😅

Please do not repost without my permission!

[tange-my-rine]

bun in the oven || Tangerine × afab!reader

Summary: The two lines were haunting you. Of course, it was after a month's trip -when you hadn't seen him in so long. So, you spent an insane amount of time thinking just how he'd react and if your world would come crashing down as soon as he'd heard the words. You were totally fine. Totally.

TW: unplanned pregnancy, worrying, blood, injuries, cursing (it's Tangerine) and all things bullet train.

[[A/N: I use gender neutral pronouns, but you are pregnant so... I hope that opens it up to more people. Enjoy :)]]

He'd been gone for at least a month. You actually weren't sure, it was kind of blurry; you'd been working so much and then you'd... Well, you'd missed your period and made an appointment and they tested your blood.

Every day since then had been monotonous, ringing in your ears and your brain running 100 miles a minute. You stayed home most of the time, eating some weird food combination (you honestly thought it was a myth), and being nervous out of your goddamn mind.

It's not like you'd ever talked about this. You talked about the future, yeah, and he was always saying 'I'm goin' to marry you one day, love' with those eyes.

He said it once with his head in your lap and your hand twisted into his hair, blue eyes all soft and sappy -like he couldn't believe you were even there. He'd said it again when you gently cleaned off a cut along his cheekbone, between his legs as he sat on a stool -he didn't even take his eyes off you for a second. All soft words and even softer smiles.

You did believe him, you did.

But you hadn't yet, and they were just words -no matter how genuine and earnest they seemed.

Everything in your body tingled, and you weren't sure you were even thinking straight for weeks. That's probably why when he'd showed up, you'd been the most tired you'd ever been but still somehow bouncing off your toes. You felt like a bundle of nerves just waiting to explode.

Initially, you weren't sure you even wanted to tell him then. He would be tired and bloody and hurt- You weren't positive it'd be the best time, but at the same time, you really couldn't hold it any longer than a night.

Or you didn't think you could. You really should've known better.

"Tan," you hummed, gathering his face up in your hands -turning him at different angles to see the slices and scratches littered along his skin. They were tiny, you noted, less like a knife -a big long scar, and more like... well, thorns.

"Glass," he muttered back, slow and tired, "-broke a fuckin' window, didn't have time to move."

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

He paused for a moment, eyes lazily drifting across your skin -always with that look.

"Don't lie to me, Tan."

"Never, darling," he smiled, a soft one that you knew was specially reserved for you, "-I think I bruised my ribs, 'at's about it."

"Honest?" You questioned, eyes heavy on his.

"Honest, love," he reiterated -eyes still following you like you were that of a dream and he hadn't woken up yet.

"Good," you echoed, trailing to grab his hand and bring him to the stool -it was your makeshift doctor's office at this point. A drawer in the kitchen filled with first aid, all ready for these nights; you'd started it after the first few visits. You think after the first time he came home bleeding you'd started stashing it all away.

"Lemon okay?" You questioned, digging around the drawer -wipes and bandages.

"Worse than me," he spoke quietly, eyes not leaving your face as you dabbed at his face, "-doctored 'im up the car. He's alright now. Conscious enough to talk about his fuckin' trains."

You smiled, he was always so worked up about his brother -wasn't he?

"He say you were a Gordon again?" You teased, trailing over a cut above his eyebrow -fingertips soft and gentle.

"No," he huffed, "-not a fuckin' Gordon."

"I know, honey," you laughed, ever-so-slightly, "-you don't have to convince me."

His lips curled into a smile, cheeks crinkling -part of you wanted to trace his crow's feet, brush your fingers into his hair. Later, you told yourself.

If you had a later, something in your mind chimed.

You stiffened, breath hollowing in your chest, hand held still against his skin; you stood a bit frozen. Rigid edges, and breaths short and quick. Something in you wondered if he could tell, if he could sense-

Tangerine paused, turning his face to match your eyes -fingers (you absentmindedly noticed blood underneath his fingernails) tilting your face with the softest of brushes, "Everythin' alright, darling?"

"What?"

He tilted his head, ignoring your movement to keep bandaging him -other hand gently wrapping around your wrist, stopping you in your place. Blue eyes swimming across your own like he was trying to read you, like he could tell.

"You're all stiff," he pressed his lips together, thumb rubbing circles into your wrist.

"I'm just tired, Tan," you smiled tightly, not quite reaching your eyes before stepping forward to bandage him more.

He merely held you in place, holding your eyes with no hesitation, "That's a bullshit answer, you know 'at."

"Look," you sighed, "-can we talk about it tomorrow? When we've both slept?"

"Not if you're upset," he frowned, preturbed by your behavior -you should've known he could tell.

"Tan," you paused, careful -your voice gently shaking, something you'd only hear if you were really listening, "-I really don't..."

"Love," he tilted his head -eager to match your eyes, keep your attention, "-tell me."

You don't know what happened, if it was his voice, or his eyes, or his hands. You couldn't tell. Something bubbling up in your throat, and burning the backs of your eyes, you really didn't want to do this now-

Something crossed over his face, as he scooted down from the stool -with ease sliding his hands down your arms, keeping you there. Tangerine knew you too well.

It slipped past your lips before you could even think about it.

"I'm pregnant."

His mouth opened before he could think about it -something instinctual, "Right, and I'm the Virgin fuckin' Mary."

"Tangerine."

He paused, eyes sifting across your face -something passed through his again, something new, something you had never seen before. You swallowed, hands curled into themselves so hard that you might have bled -you couldn't tell, you were numb.

"You..." he echoed, throat dry and eyes wide open, "You're serious?"

You flattened your lips, eyes burning and tears gathering -your hands shaking and your brain thrumming in your head. You couldn't speak.

"Darling, I didn't-" he paused, swallowing hard, "-I shouldn't have said fuckin' anythin, I didn't mean- I... fuck, seriously?"

"Tan-"

He breathed out, still holding your arms in place, "Are you... Are you happy, love?"

"Are you?" You pushed through, "-I've... I've spent a month wondering if you were going to just... leave me."

"Oh, love," he sighed, bringing up his hands to cup your face -soothing in a whisper, "-love, listen. I could never, I would never leave you. You'd have to fuckin' drag me out yourself, actually-"

You laughed.

"-I'm... I wouldn't leave you," he spoke gently, eyes dipping to your stomach -there was nothing there yet, "-'specially not now."

"You're not upset?" You echoed, something shaking in your voice -he frowned at the noise, loosely pushing forward to kiss you.

His mustache tickled your lip. It was something short and sweet, warm, and sent something fluttering in your chest.

"'Course not," he hummed, hands lowering to flatten on your stomach, a smile flashing across his face, "-Actually am rather happy."

"Yeah?" Your voice cracked out, tears finally leaving your eyes -his thumbs were quick to wipe them, "-You are?"

"Very," he laughed, something of tears in his own eyes -you only smiled brighter.

"Even," you started, suddenly, "-Even with your line of work? That... You can't have a family with-"

"I'll stop," he blurted out, rash and without thought but still genuine, "-'Ave to finish a few things, tie up some loose strings but I'll... I'll stop. We can live off my money for awhile."

"Tangerine," you let out a breath, "-I can't ask you to-"

"You're not," he interrupted, bubbling up like he couldn't stop talking.

"What about... What about these nine months? Are you-" you paused, before rewording, "-Are you going to be here?"

"God, am I going to be here," he let out a weepy sort of laugh, "-I'm not leavin' your fuckin' side darling."

"What about-"

"What nothing, love," he interrupted again, now holding your face again, and he was crying you realized, "-I'm goin' to take care you. Everyday. No one can fuckin' stop me-"

"What about the danger?" You spoke, rational and clear -it was your baby, after all.

"Lemon'll move in," he said -firm and direct, "-and God forbid anyone try and get their hands on you, love. I'll rip 'em to fuckin' shreds-"

"Okay, okay," you laughed, slipping your hands over his shoulders -trying to calm him, "-I think we get it, Tan."

"We," he muttered, a little mystified -grin so wide it almost hurt to look at as he sunk to crouch in front of you, pressing his forehead to your stomach.

"Yeah, we," you reiterated, smiling big and wide.

He heaved a deep breath into your stomach, holding himself there for a minute. A bit like he needed it. You didn't mind.

And as he whispered against your stomach tiny little promises that you knew he would keep, you wondered why you ever thought he would leave you. He may be a dick sometimes, but he's not... he would never.

"I'm gettin' you a fuckin' ring."

Yeah, you thought to yourself, I'll be just fine.

[edtype]

Life Is Life-ing

This image—embedded in the end credits of Mr. Malcolm’s List—became a kind of precursor to Zawe’s first pregnancy. It’s been awesome that in the privacy she and Tom value this second time could blossom without much public scrutiny as Tom was gallivanting in full view. We parasocial aunties are over the moon but must also acknowledge that privacy will prevail.

[sommeliersims]

Small PSA: Bun in the oven in the Cooper family

[nzchance]

Just putting it out into the world that I am direly in need of more Buck/Tommy planned mpreg fics. So many of the current mpreg fics are of the surprise mpreg variety. I know that's just the nature of the beast with mpreg as a vehicle for fix-its, but please imagine: Buck's research spiral about what the ideal diet is for both of them (he bakes so much with walnuts and dark chocolate for that sperm count boost), both of them abstaining from what's restricted and being cranky about it with each other but more so with others and "Babe, wake up, the calendar says we have to have sex now!" Yeah, just all that clipboard!Buck energy directed at babymaking. Plus, the fluffy pregnancy experience without relationship landmines to navigate around, maybe they plan a babymoon.

Do you see my vision?

Also, breeding kink 👀

Also, also, the most important research into the question: what is the best position to have sex in to conceive? (Buck does not consult the internet on this one.)