#on aromance

[pinnakoladda]

hey as a local aroace, i want to specify something.

were no strangers to love. you know the rules and so do i (do i). a full commitments what im thinking of. you wouldnt get this from any other guy. i just wanna tell you how im feeling. gotta make you understand. never gonna give you up. never gonna let you down. never gonna run around and desert you. never gonna make you cry. never gonna say goodbye. never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[daybringersol]

fun fact (not fun at all fact actually) :

aromanticism and asexuality are still treated as issues to be fixed in most therapy settings, at least in the western psychiatric institution. i cannot fucking mention my aromanticism or asexuality to a therapist or it’ll immediately become their primary concern and goal to fix. whether or not i have a partner/am trying to have a partner is actively being used as an indicator of my wellness, regardless of if i WANT one. i cannot have access to needed mental health ressources because of fear of conversion therapy. aro and/or ace conversion therapy is the norm in most psychiatric institutions and we are getting told by the rest of the queer community that our oppression isnt real and that there is no link between our struggles and theirs.

more thoughts on the medicalization of asexuality and/or aromanticism

answers to common notes

aplatonic perspective

ressources

background information

tips to avoid aro and/or ace conversion therapy

[bynux]

Trying to figure something out about myself; please reblog this for a larger sample size.

[schrodingers-intelligence]

Someone low key aphobic: Romantic and sexual attraction is what makes us human!

The A-Spec community, holding up a penguin: BEHOLD A HUMAN

[aroacearchangel]

aro and/or ace culture is wondering “is that actually a thing alloromantics and/or allosexuals experience? or is it just the Media™ pushing unrealistic narratives for everyone involved?”

[hum-tittle]

Am I aroace: Yes

Am I a lesbian: Also yes

Are all my fictional crushes nonhuman men???: For some reason also, yes??

Do I need help: Probably?

[canonically47]

actually all the disney princesses who don’t have a romantic interest are aromantic. yeah yep all of them. elsa, merida, mirabel, so forth, all of them are aromantic. you cannot escape the aro beam

[evil-maryland]

Arophobes are so fucking stupid

"You just haven't found the right person!" "You're still young!"

Ok. I perhaps have found 'the right person'. now what?

I'm still under the Aromanticism Label. That didn't just change now that i have a 'right person'.

Maybe I needed an emotional bond first. Maybe I just don't like romance. Maybe I only like romance a limited amount.

Just because we don't fit into your conception of love on first sight doesn't mean we don't exist.

Happy Aromantism.

[imgae-insertshockedgasps-16]

"how to tell if you have a crush"

"what do crushes feel like"

"how to tell if you like someone"

"am i in love"

"do i want to date them"

"do i have a crush"

"am i gay" quiz results: "you're pan! you're attracted to personality rather than body! you feel the same about every gender!"

"is this arousal"

"how to tell if you're aroused"

"am i horny"

"how to tell if you're attracted to someone"

"what does sexual attraction feel like"

"how to tell if someone is attracted to you"

"how to tell if you feel romantic feelings"

"how to tell if you feel sexual feelings"

"do i feel romantic feelings"

"do i feel sexual feelings"

....."define asexual"

....."define aromantic"

[ohara-n-brown]

I know 'no homo' is an extremely outdated and unnecessary term but can we please keep 'no romo'

Like just for the aros.

Please. Please I want to keep saying no romo cause it's really funny to me. Like bro kiss me. No romo though. Let's go on a date no romo

will you accept my hand in marriage no romo

they lived together 40 years but absolutely no romo

[d3ad-squid]

Every single fucking time… can’t you allos just be happy with what you’ve got????

[daybringersol]

gotta be honest, i hate the whole oppression contest between romance-favorable and romance-averse aromantics that’s going on right now. both of those groups are pressured to act like the other. you know why? because people just don’t like us being aromantic. that’s it. nobody’s more privileged than the other, at least not in this context.

if you’re alright with being in relationships, then you’re told you’re not really aromantic. the goal is to make you doubt you’re aromantic.

if you don’t want to be in relationships, then you’re told that aromantics can date, so you should! the goal is to make you more palatable, to make you romance-favorable so then, they can gaslight you into thinking you’re not actually aromantic. or they just straight up call you heartless (shoutout heartless aros, love you guys <2) and/or inhuman, but thats just their true colors showing. they think that of all aros.

and the aromantic people who says shit like that? they’re trying to throw the group they’re not part of under the bus to make themselves either more palatable or less ‘confusing’. they’re scared.

nobody’s winning here. let’s all just shut the fuck up for a second and recognize that these people just don’t want us to be aromantic. that’s it. doesn’t matter if you’re romance-averse, romance-favorable or anything else. they just want us to conform. and if you’re accusing the other side of being responsible for your oppression, you’re playing right into their game.

[your-local-crypt1d]

Oh so when a priest takes an oath of celibacy he's "a man of faith", but when I say I'm Ace and sex-repulsed I'll "change my mind" and "haven't found the right person yet" 🙄

[ijustreallylikepirates]

worst things to hear as an aro/ace/aroace person:

"you'll get over it"

"true love will find you some day"

"but what if somebody asks you out and they're really cute?"

"you'll change your mind"

"love/sex is a part of life, you need it"

"I bet I can change that"

"but what if you want kids someday/decide you want to get married?"

"you're too attractive to be aro/ace/aroace"

"men need women around the house" or "women need men around the house"

"but you've had crushes/been in relationships before?"

[aroacearchangel]

happy pride month. if someone is pressuring you into a romantic or sexual relationship you have the right to kill them with hammers

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

a very fucking special shout-out to aros who have been the token "weird queer" friend amongst a queer friend group, only to have the novelty lost and find yourself left when they all decide their romantic relationships matter more than you, or your aromantic worldview becomes off-putting because they don't (and don't try to) understand what amatonormativity means.

i have many qualms. this happens to a lot of aros, and it just speaks to the infantilization of aro folks (and ace too!) when all we're seen as is the weird one who doesn't feel love, there for the amusement of "normal queers" and then cast out when they find something more interesting.

if your friend group did/does this, it may mean they weren't truly seeing you, or doing their best to be actual allies to aro and aspec people.

it's the gay best friend trope all over again. everybody loves the gay best friend because it's trendy to have one and not treat them like a person outside the stereotype.

and it fucking sucks. ive been there.

it's not your fault you're not "palatable". let them choke.