#on a show that you were never even a part of
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landopoet · 1 day ago
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come online.
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pairing streamer!lando x reader
warnings virtual exhibitionism (?), oral (m receiving), use of curse words and obviously smut
playlist nervous - the nbhd / a little death - the nbhd / sex money feelings die - lykke li
synopsis you decide to have a little fun while your boyfriend’s streaming
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Mate, what the fuck are you doing?”
Max’s voice echoes in Lando’s headphones, distracting him from the only thing he’s focused on— you.
You look up at him from under the desk, unusually cold fingertips trailing up the distressed man’s thighs. He’s been trying his hardest not to break, to not show that you’ve been teasing him for the past eight minutes, with your hands ghosting over his bulge, softly tracing his thighs or the addicting way you lick your pretty lips.
“The game lagged.” He makes up an excuse for the awful few shots he placed in the surrounding trees, instead of the enemy. You stifle a giggle at his successful lie, fingers still toying with the hemline of his shorts.
Max rolls his eyes. “You’re just bad at the game.”
Lando ignores Max’s comment, too busy biting back a moan the second your hands palm him through his boxers. The mere feeling of your slender fingers sliding up his length, already throbbing for the feel of your mouth on him.
It’s a while before you do anything, and by the time you touch him again, Lando’s focusing on the game with no regard for the pretty girl kneeling in front of him. His fingers hastily press the buttons on his keyboard, eyes intensely tracking any movement on the screen. “I got one,” he says, eyes stuck to the screen.
Lando doesn’t react when you trail a finger up his thigh again, this time underneath his shorts. It takes a moment for Lando to notice the gentle tug at his boxers. It takes another moment for him to notice the kisses you place on his thighs, starting at his knee and ending at the base of his dick. His breath hitches when you start licking up his length, taking your sweet time in teasing him, making sure to give him a hard time keeping quiet on call.
Max mutters something, but Lando’s too distracted by your lips softly sucking on his tip to even talk. He’s aimlessly walking around the area of his game, trying not to get into any trouble both online and in reality. It takes everything in him not to moan when you take his dick into your mouth, softly stroking the part that doesn’t fit.
“I’ve died.” Lando says, trying to keep his breathing steady while looking down at the view in front of him— his girl on her knees, taking him even in the virtual presence of others. He never knew you had this side to you, so he was shocked when you suggested the idea of giving him head while he’s playing.
Lando hears a noise in his headphones that indicated someone subscribing to his channel. “MissNorris4? That’s an odd username. Thank you for the sub. Appreciate it.”
You freeze. Lando notices it, looking back down at you with a sort of darkness in his eyes. You hadn’t known he was on stream, and the notion of that shook you to your core. But it also excited you. How far could you push Lando before he inevitably breaks? How bad would the consequences be? A plethora of questions swirled in your brain, all while you were still toying with the man in front of you.
Lando watched as you stroked him, feeling all his walls come crashing down the second your lips wrapped around his length. He tried his damn best not to show it on stream, but he was a fucking mess. he takes his bottom lip between his teeth the second you start doing that thing with your tongue that always drives him crazy.
It drives him so crazy that he has to focus his attention on not making a face, trying his best to keep his eyes on the screen and read the chat. He can’t even speak, the only thing helping the silence from him was the music, that seemed to be awfully fitting for the situation he’s in. He can hear Max complaining about the enemy team, but he can’t even laugh about it, his whole career at risk for the mere touch of your lips.
He feels the warmth fill his lower abdomen and knows he won’t be able to get away with the microexpressions turning macro. Eitherway, he risks it. When you quicken your strokes and movement of your head, Lando seeks strength in clinging onto the headrest of his chair, bicep bulging through his black shirt and you’re sure you’ll see plenty of pictures of your boyfriend being a pathetic mess.
It’s fun toying with him. It’s easy to make him flustered and desperate for you, but it was just as easy to make him so angry he’ll fuck you til your legs shake. You contemplate the idea of not letting him cum and instead leaving him to continue the stream with a hard-on or risking the possibility of a moan slipping past his lips and having it circulate the internet til the end of time.
Your decision becomes easier to make when Lando leans back in his chair, the back of his hand covering his mouth while the other is still holding onto the chair for dear life. His pretty eyes are hidden by his tightly shut eyelids, as he tries his best not to let a sound escape his lips.
It takes a few more strokes until he’s throbbing and coming undone. You feel the hot liquid trickle down your throat and you swallow every last drop. The heaving of his chest and silent whimpers don’t go unnoticed by you when you pull away and wipe the side of your mouth with your sleeve.
A shy smile plays on your lips when Lando drops his arms into his lap, now covered by the boxers you pulled back up. He’s a heaving mess, face red and sweaty.
“You alright, mate?” Max asks, concern lacing his voice as he notices the heavy breathing echoing through his headphones.
Lando looks down at you, biting his bottom lip as he hastily nods. “Yeah, never been better. I’ll head out now, got some things I need to take care of. Bye, chat.”
When the stream ends and the only presence in Lando’s room are him and you, he helps you up from the floor and brings you to his bed. You lay down and he lays beside you, hands touring your body and lips never leaving your neck.
Little did he know, his name was trending. And not for the right reasons.
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slytherinslut0 · 1 day ago
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SLYTHERINSLUT0’S RIDDLEMAS
dec 23rd. tom riddle — wet dreams, house rivals.
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RIDDLEMAS MASTERLIST. I 2024
summary: tom’s been infiltrating your dreams, and you decide it’s time to call him out on it.
warnings: 18+, SMUT MDNIIII, coercion!!!!, dark!tom, mind manipulation, religious undertones, gryffindor!reader, enemies if you squint, fingering, squirting, begging, dream sex, tom riddle is his own warning, so much praise, dirty talk, verbal sparring.
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You've never been a heavy sleeper. Even as a child, the smallest sound—a creak in the floorboards, a shift in the walls—would jolt you awake. For years, you chalked it up to some ingrained survival instinct, some form of trauma response to whatever part of your childhood still haunts you. You got used to it.
But lately, it isn't sound that been waking you. It isn't movement or foundation shifts, either. It's the dreams.
Dreams—strange, lucid, intense dreams of him. Always him. Dreams that make you feel like you're drowning, like you're flying, like you've found a new level of intoxication that you'd never imagined possible—and each time the dreams wake you up, the sheets (and whatever bottoms you may have been wearing) are always soaked, and your thighs are always shaking.
It's maddening.
They feel too real to be anything but a violation, his presence bleeding into your subconscious regardless of how much you try to fight it. You know it means something is wrong. You'd tried to rationalize yourself into going back to sleep, telling yourself it's just hormones or some form of stress, but you're too smart to believe your own excuses.
You know it's more than that.
He's haunting you in your sleep—in the most unexpected way. The dreams are always lucid enough that you can feel it—you can feel him—his mouth on yours, his hands on your hips, his dick bullying your fucking cervix and his magic on your clit—leaving behind nothing but hunger. Hunger that's so intense it makes you want him in a way it almost scares you.
You tell yourself you hate him, you've always hated him—but denial only lasts for so many days, as you realize you can't look at him or talk to him without the dreams forcing their way to the forefront of your mind, making you remember the feelings and the sensations and how much, despite hating him, you want them to be real.
You wanted to believe it would pass. That this was nothing but a phase, a trick of your overactive mind. But deep down, you knew the truth. Tom Riddle has wormed his way into your head, into your dreams—out of spite—and he's not letting go.
So after a hell of a week of this—with damn near zero hours of sleep—you decide to seek him out. To put an end to this madness. Once and for all.
It takes every ounce of courage and Gryffindor-like reckless bravery you can scrape together just to go through with it, but somehow you do. Somehow, you make it across the castle, make it to his door. You're in your pyjamas, for Merlin's sake. It's 1 a.m., and the slick still coating your thighs from what had to have been your tenth lucid orgasm in a matter of a week is a humiliating reminder of why you're even here at all.
And when the door opens, you have the strange feeling that he's been expecting you, even as he makes a great show of acting surprised to see you, looking you up and down with a lazy, smug glance that makes your pulse quicken so viscerally you lose the last shred of sanity you were pathetically clinging to—
"What the fuck—" you prowl forward without hesitation, forcing him a step back into the room. "—are you doing to me?"
Even if you're not imagining some form of surprise in that smug little smirk, he does his best not to let it show.
"Me?" He says, all pretend innocence, flicking his hand out to shut the door behind you with some spell you don't care to name. "You'll have to be more specific."
You glare at him, refusing to acknowledge how unfairly attractive he looks in just sweatpants and an oversized shirt—because of course, even casual looks like this are a weapon in his arsenal.
"Cut the bullshit, Riddle," you snap, and you're not sure if it's your lack of sleep or some form of desperation-fuelled bravery, but you're suddenly invading his personal space, poking an accusing finger into his shoulder. "You're fucking haunting me—"
He blinks. "I’m haunting you. And how am I doing that?”
There's a part of you that knows it's a trap—that this is probably exactly what the smug bastard in front of you has been wanting, but your brain is so deprived of sleep and your body is so starved of respite that you decide 'fuck it'—you want answers, and you're going to get them.
"You're in my dreams," you say, bluntly, forcing an exhale alongside it. "You've been in them every night for a week straight. I haven't slept a bloody minute."
That's when it happens—the tiniest flash of amusement in his eyes, so brief you might've missed it if you weren't ready to tear his fucking throat out.
"You're accusing me of giving you dreams?" He asks, in a tone that makes you want to grab him by the front of his shirt and make him cut the bullshit, and you can't tell how much of your own expression is irritation and how much is lust. "You think I've somehow managed to invade your mind?"
"Don't be condescending," you spit, trying to focus on the spot between his eyebrows that makes the heat in your core roar the least, "and don't act like you're incapable. As much as I can't bloody stand you, we both know damn well your mind magic is strong enough to do this to me—"
"Mind magic," he echoes with an amused snort, "you think I'm doing some kind of mind magic to invade your dreams, is that it?"
He's so damn good at this, you think—infuriatingly good. The way he's playing it off like the idea is absurd, completely laughable—
"Fucking precisely.” You can't hide the heat from your voice. You don't care to try. "These aren't just dreams. They're—they're strong. I feel you. Your hands, your tongue, your—"
Dick. You can't even bring yourself to say it.
And the bastard just smirks, like he's reading your mind anyway. Like he knows. That glimmer in his eyes—arrogant, insufferable—only confirms it.
"Hm," he says with something bored, running a hand through his hair. "Your subconscious—"
"It's not a bloody subconscious thing," you cut him off, uninterested in whatever bullshit he was about to feed you. "It's you. You're invading my dreams—I feel you—my body fucking feels you—"
He laughs at that. Like some sick, sadistic freak. He actually laughs—
"Listen to yourself." He says, with a mocking tone that makes you want to shove him. "Are you that desperate to hate me that you're pinning your dreams on me?"
"Hate doesn't even begin to cover it," you spit, stepping closer, your frustration boiling over. He shifts slightly, his back brushing the wall. "You've got a hell of an ego, but even you have to know this isn't something I'd want. I wouldn't put you in my dreams willingly if you paid me to do it—"
He hums, smirk never faltering, if anything it fucking grows at the tirade.
"You've been dreaming of me for a week," he points out, coolly, as if this is the most casual conversation in the world. "And now, here you are—standing in my dorm in the middle of the night, dressed like this." He takes a step toward you, now. "Do you know what that's called, sweetheart?"
Your lungs hitch at the pet name. Your mind is at war with your cunt and it's losing—
"Delirium?" You choke out, noticing another flash of something in his eyes as the gap between you closes. "Insomnia? Sleep deprivation?"
He gives you a mocking arch of the eyebrow.
"No," he says, in a tone that makes you seethe. "It's called obsession."
"Oh. The irony," you can't help but hiss at him, heart pounding because he's in your space and you're in his and this shouldn't be getting to you the way it is. "It's rich, coming from you, that you'd put that on me when—when you've been mindfucking me every goddamn night—"
"Mindfucking you?" He repeats, almost lazily, as his gaze drops, sweeping over you—your pyjamas, the clear lack of bra, the flush creeping up your neck. "Is that what you think I've been doing? You think—"
The way he doesn't even deny it—doesn't argue the accusation—makes your blood boil in a way you can't control.
"It's the only explanation. You've been—you've been—" you cut him off but your sentence falters because his gaze is moving so deliberately, dragging over you like he's cataloging your weaknesses, and the anger curdles into something raw and desperate. "God, Tom, I just need it to stop. I'm so fucking tense and tired. I'm so wound I can't even focus—I'm wet all the time—"
His eyes snap up to meet yours at that, and he gives you a look you can't even begin to interpret. You bite your tongue, realizing the words that left your mouth just a moment too late to pull them back, and you know you've lost the upper hand in this, somehow. You feel the ground slipping from under you and you hate the way your body shivers as he takes another slow, deliberate, step forward.
"Is that what you are?” He wets his lips. "You've come all the way here, in the dead of night, in your pyjamas, half out of your mind with exhaustion because you're wet. Isn't that right?"
You know better than to answer, though you feel yourself walking straight into the trap he's set.
"Piss off," you snap, but the bravado in your voice is paper-thin as he takes another step forward. He's so close now that his scent overwhelms you—leather and spice, something sharp and smoky that makes your head spin. You recognize it, of course you do; it's the same as in your dreams, and the familiarity makes your knees feel unsteady. "You're—"
"Don't act so offended," he leans closer, his voice a low murmur, quiet, almost silky as it wraps around you, and suddenly you barely remember what you were so pissed off about. "You can't even deny it. I made you cum tonight, didn't I? In your dreams."
Your teeth grit. "You know you did—"
He takes one more step and now you're backed right up against his desk—and gods, Tom's tall, so much taller than you—and it feels like he's looming over you, caging you in.
"Mhm." There's a flash of triumph in his eyes as you lose your words. He leans down, breath grazing your ear just as he brings two fingers to your temple, pressing the pads against it. "Let's watch, shall we?"
Watc—oh no.
A cold sense of dread washes over you as you catch on to what he's insinuating, merely a second too late—
"Tom—"
He whispers something, something that pulls you under, and the next thing you know—in a flash of consciousness you didn't even consider possible—you're staring at yourself inside a dream you remember all too well. A dream sequence where you're moaning and trembling beneath him, your head thrown back, eyes rolling in unabashed pleasure as he drives into you, hips snapping with thrust after thrust after thrust—
And it's one thing to have felt it in the safety of your dreams, in the dead of night when you woke slick and desperate, clenching around nothing. But this—this is visceral. You can't look away because it's projecting inside your mind: the flush blooming across your chest, the arch of your back, the way your lips part with every desperate breath. You hear the obscene sounds spilling from your mouth, mingling with his low, guttural grunts—and worst of all, you can feel it.
You can feel every ounce of pleasure he's giving you, as if he's giving it to you now.
"Mm," you hear him hum from infront of you—it's too much—you're lost in the memory, the dream, and it's a strange, voyeuristic, intimate experience to watch yourself and him like that. "You're worse off than I thought."
You’re gripping the wood of his desk so hard your fingertips are numb, heart flying out of the room as his hand slowly slides from your temple down to your jaw, holding you in place—
"Stop it." You manage to hiss at him, trying to force some semblance of control back into yourself—the last thing you need is to start melting against this bastard. "Tom—"
"You feel that?" He murmurs, breath brushing your neck, and you can't even focus on anything but the sensations he's forcing through your memory—seeing him above you, feeling him inside you. "You do, don't you? This is exactly what you've been feeling all week, isn't it?"
You want to snap at him, cuss him out, but oh god—
"Damn you," you hiss, even as his hands slide down to your hips—and it almost feels as if he's touching you twice, as if there are two sets of hands on your body. "Fuck, Tom—"
"Mm, you look good from this angle," he murmurs, and you fucking keen as you watch, in your mind, his hands slide over your stomach, pushing up your shirt and exposing your tits, groping as he fucks you. You keen as you feel it. "You love this, don't you? You want this."
"I—" you gasp, trying to convince him, or yourself, or goddamn anyone. Still fighting some invisible battle between resistance and submission because you hate that he's right. "I—god, what are you doing to me—"
"What am I doing to you?" He whispers, and you're not sure if the question is rhetorical, or if he's giving you permission to ask it. "I'm not doing anything that you aren't letting me do."
Your knees feel like they're about to buckle, and it's taking all your strength just to stay standing because the pleasure playing out in your mind is pouring into your veins and you can't even fathom how it's possible but you can't do anything to fight it—
"Oh, god—" you moan, unbridled, your physical body slumping back onto the desk as you feel the slick between your thighs, growing with every goddamn thrust. "Oh my god—"
He takes the opportunity of you slumped back against the desk and instantly leans down, bringing his lips to your ear—
"Not even god could keep your legs underneath you." His hand creeps up your thigh. "You're helpless."
"Helpless," you repeat, with a shaky gasp, and you hate how much the word turns you on. This is the first time you've ever been called helpless, and you're not even sure that you care. He's got you in his clutches, he's winning, and it's so infuriating and so goddamn perfect. “Tom—please, please touch me. I need to—fuck—"
You feel his lips brush the skin of your neck in a way that has you trembling with want, but—fucking hell, that's not what you need—you need his hands on you, you need him to just—
"What do you need?" He cooes, and there's a sly tone to his voice that makes you want to throw yourself at him all over again. "You need to cum?"
You moan, low and needy, writhing against the desk because this fucker—he knows exactly what he's doing. He’s got the upper hand here and you want it back. You want—
"Yes," you manage to gasp out. "I need you to—I fucking need you—inside me—"
As soon as that leaves your mouth, the dream fades from your vision and he's urging you to lay back. There's a soft thud as he places a hand on the desk next to your head, and he leans down, bringing his lips back to your ear, and you can't remember a time when you've ever wanted anyone else this bad.
"I'm touched," he murmurs, fingers slipping to the waist band of your pyjama pants, "that you want me that bad."
"I hate you," you manage to gasp out, but that's a lie, and you think he knows it. His fingers on your skin as he pulls your pants down make you ache for him, and you're struggling to not make another sound that will give him ammunition. "Why do you have to—"
"Why do I have to what?" He asks, and you know he's just trying to get a reaction out of you. "Tease you? Make you helpless?"
Your pants get hardly half way down your thighs before he decides it's enough and slides a finger through your soaked slit, and you can't hold back the moan that tears itself from your throat.
"Fuck, you're soaked.” He hisses through his teeth. “You've been sitting in your dorm for days, hm? Dreaming of me touching you, wishing you could touch yourself without thinking of me—do you want to cum, sweetheart?"
"Yes," you gasp out, and you're not above begging at this point. "Yes, god, please—I want to fucking cum—"
"There we go," he cooes, and he's enjoying this more than you'd like to acknowledge. "You know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that?"
"I'd say at least a week," you throw back, in a vain attempt to keep a shred of your dignity, but that's hard when he's circling his fingers around your clit and your body is jerking against the desk beneath you. God you really are helpless. "Because that's how long you've been plaguing my head, giving me wet dreams like some goddamn incubus—"
He chuckles at that, and you hate him a little less when he slips two fingers inside you, "You think I'm a demon?"
"You certainly act like one," you choke out, because he's crooking his fingers and your mind is going fuzzy and he's not going to let you get the upper hand back, even for a second. "Fuck—oh, yes, yes, yes."
"You've got me all wrong," he says, with a smile that would be boyish if it wasn't so sinister. "Demons come to punish you. I'm here helping you get that relief you've been needing so badly."
"Just want t-to help me," you moan as his long fingers work you open, thumb brushing your clit, "out of the kindness of your heart—"
"Out of the kindness of my heart,” he repeats, with a mocking tone, and it's the way he murmurs those words that's making your thighs clench around him until he grabs the fabric of your pjs bunched around them and pushes your legs up to your chest, working his fingers impossibly deeper. "Out of the goodness of my soul—it's what I do, darling, I'm known for my benevolence—"
"You're a good man," you know he can tell you're being sarcastic, but his fingers are filling you so fucking full you're nowhere near ready to start a fight again when you're this close to losing your goddamn mind on his desk. "You're such a good man, Tom—“
"Mhm," his breath tickles your ear. "What else am I?"
"So good with your fingers," you're moaning, and he's going to get a bigger ego than he already has. You're too far gone to care. "God, you're so good, I'm going to—"
"Yes, you are," he answers, and it takes you a second to realize that he's not correcting your words anymore. He's simply telling you that you are, in fact, about to fall apart for him. "Give it to me. You've earned it."
You almost want to snap back at him, you almost try to, but you're so far gone the words don't form on your tongue and you're not sure you'd be able to fight the fire pooling in your stomach.
"Oh, fuck—“
He doesn't even let you finish that, he just dips his hips down, bringing his hand that's not buried in your slick up to cover your mouth, muffling those strangled screams before they spill out and echo down the hall—
"That's it," he murmurs, his voice a low hum against your skin. "Be a good girl. Let it all out for me."
And it's that; that stupid combination of cooing warmth and the phrase 'be a good girl' that sends you over the edge, and you're muffling your gasps and moans and screams against his palm because gods, what would happen if someone heard you? What would happen if people realized what Tom Riddle was doing to you—your house rival, your sworn enemy—
"There we go," you're falling apart and he's watching you as if he owns you, as if this is where you belong—writhing beneath him, release squirting out around his fingers. "Ride it out for me. Such a good girl, you needed this so bad, I can tell you were aching for this."
You're struggling to say anything back, the only thing that comes out is a strangled moan of his name, and you've always known how bad he was, heard from other girls how good he could be with his hands, but this—you've never had this, never been this before.
"Such a fucking mess," he's murmuring, his voice low and rough and so goddamn beautiful. “How'd that feel? Hm?"
"So—so good," it feels like the words are being forced out of your throat, and you're struggling to think with enough clarity to form anything that's not an embarrassing moan of how much you needed this. "Needed it, need more, I—"
"More?" He murmurs as he slips his fingers free, and he's bringing his other hand up to your jaw, forcing you to look at him as he brings his soaked fingers to your lips. "Greedy girl."
You're not thinking about the implication of him calling you that, you're not thinking about how you should fight back, you're not thinking about how much you hate him—you’re just thinking about the sinful taste of you on his fingers, when they press against your tongue. Without a second of hesitation you suck them clean, tasting yourself, and it's obscene. You're obscene. But you don't care, it just makes that ache in you grow worse—you need more, you need him.
Dear god, what happened to you.
“So good," he murmurs, the praise dripping like honey from his tongue. You hum and he exhales. "I'll find you tomorrow."
"You'll find me tomorrow?" You repeat, as he withdraws his fingers from your mouth, and you're struggling for air, your chest heaving beneath your rumpled shirt. "What are you going to do, come into my room?"
"I'll come into much more than your room," he says, with a laugh that dances with promises of sin. "Now go. Before someone finds you here."
You push yourself up on trembling arms, pulling your pants up your thighs, your heart hammering in your chest because—god, that was incredible, you want more of it, and you can hardly even believe it happened. With a breath, you force yourself to move.
You look back at him as you get to the door. Your legs are shaking and you're not going to hold it against yourself for needing the wall to support you as his eyes rake over you, the corners of those lips curled up his signature smirk, and you want to hit him so goddamn bad—but then he speaks, like he read your mind, and it snaps you out of it—
"No dreams tonight." He says. "Scouts honour."
"You're no boy scout," you throw back, and your voice is a little breathier than you'd like. "And this changes nothing."
He smiles, slow and languid and knowing. "Of course."
You want to roll your eyes at the condescension dripping off his tongue, but you're worried that if you stay here any longer the only words on your tongue will be 'do it again'.
"You just owe me." You say as you crack the door open.
"I owe you," he agrees, and you think that his smile is just a little too genuine—like he would give you anything you wanted, just for another taste of that. “I'm keeping score, darling. Sleep well."
You hate him for calling you that, you hate his stupid smile, you hate the way he knows he's got you.
What he doesn’t know, is that you’re going to make him pay.
"Good night," you mutter, and then you open the door and slip out into the hallway.
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katsu28 · 2 days ago
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operation mistletoe
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
summary: all it takes is one meddling lando norris and some mistletoe at the mclaren holiday party for oscar and yourself to admit your true feelings for each other. (2.2k)
a/n: day two with osc! enjoy <3
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“I don’t know why you won’t just tell him.” 
Lando is currently laying spread eagle on your kitchen floor, tossing a padel ball above his head while you shove a packet of popcorn into the microwave for your movie night. 
His question is out of the blue, but you know what he's talking about. Lando is wondering why you won’t tell a certain Aussie you both work with that you have feelings for him.
He’s been wondering for a while now, bordering on a year since you’d accidentally let it slip to him—almost half the time said Aussie has been part of McLaren. 
You scoff. “Have you sent it into the barriers too many times? That’s literally the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
“But why?” He presses, sounding exasperated. You can’t see him around the island counter, but you can imagine that squinty eyed, scrunchy nosed look he always gets when he doesn’t understand something. You’ve seen it almost overwhelmingly often in the few years you’ve been friends. 
“First of all, we work together. If I tell Oscar that I like him and he doesn’t like me back, I’d never be able to show my face at MTC ever again,” You reason, searching for a bowl to put the popcorn in once it's done. 
It’s actually something you’ve put quite a bit of thought into when weighing the pros and cons of telling Oscar about your feelings. 
“I’d have to find a new job, but that might take forever, so I’d have to move back in with my parents until I find one—if I find one—and I’m pretty sure my mum turned my bedroom into a yoga space the moment I’d left for uni, so I’d have to move into the basement. And then the job I find might not even be around here, so I’d have to move back out of my parents’ place and find another place to live, and you know how expensive things are in some cities! I’d have to find roommates, and I don’t really fancy living with strangers somewhere I don’t know.” 
Lando has taken a seat at the counter when you turn back around with the bowl in your hands, staring at you with the most unimpressed look you’ve ever seen gracing his dumb face. 
“I reckon you’re overthinking things just a smidge,” He says flatly. He thinks you’re being dramatic. You’d call it brainstorming possible worst scenarios. 
You scowl, dumping the freshly popped kernels into said bowl before shoving it towards him. “You don’t know that.” 
He shovels a mouthful of it into his mouth on your way to the couch, sprawling out the length of it with his socked feet in your lap. “I’m pretty sure he fancies you too.” 
“Did he tell you that?” You raise a brow, swatting his feet off you. 
“Well, no, but I’m very perceptive.” 
“I saw you once say excuse me to a mannequin in a race suit at MTC because you weren’t paying attention to where you were going.” 
“Oi, fuck you!” Lando huffs, donkey kicking you lightly in the thigh. “You promised you’d never bring that up again. All I’m saying is that you should just man up and tell him flat out.” 
“I should what?” 
“Shit, I mean—well. Woman up? I guess?” He wonders, squinting one eye shut. “I dunno, really, but still. You never know how he’ll react. Could turn out mint.” 
“Can we not talk about it anymore? Please?” You groan, letting your head tip back against the cushions. “I just feel a little pathetic right now.” You feel Lando pat your head. 
“You’re not pathetic. Love just sucks,” He says sympathetically. “But sure, we don’t have to talk about it right now.” 
-------
True to his word, Lando doesn’t bring it up for weeks. In hindsight, you should’ve taken it as a sign of him planning something, but you’ve been busy with other things. 
Nothing happens until the McLaren holiday party, right after the FIA awards in Rwanda. Someone yells your name from afar as you’re going for a second drink, and when you turn to see who it is, you spot Lando waving wildly at you, gesturing for you to come over. 
Before you can even say anything when you approach, he grabs your hand, dragging you down the corridor. He walks and walks and walks, still not saying a word despite your constant badgering. 
Finally, he stops and takes you by the shoulders, maneuvering you a few steps to one side, forward a few steps. Then he nods once, backing up with his hands out in front of him. “Do me a favor, just wait right here for a second.” 
“What? Lando, what’re you—”
“No, no, no, this is important, I promise. Just stay there. Maybe close your eyes too if you could, that’d be mint.” 
Despite your confusion, you oblige, squeezing your eyes shut. You hear his footsteps retreat, but then nothing for a suspiciously long time. Had he just stuck you here and run off like an absolute wanker? 
A shoulder bumps yours before you can jump to any more conclusions, and it startles you. 
“What the hell is going on?” You question, frowning. Nothing but silence. “Lando? Are you there?” 
“Erm, nope. Not Lando.” 
Fuck. You know that voice. That voice makes your heart do a stupid tap dance against your rib cage every time you hear it.
Your eyes fly open to meet an extremely familiar pair of brown ones. Oscar’s eyes. Oscar is standing right in front of you, looking just as confused as you feel. 
“Oscar!” You exclaim, feeling your face flame hot. 
You can’t help the surprise seeping into your voice. To see him there isn’t something you were expecting at all, and it certainly doesn’t help that he looks extremely handsome, almost glowing with happiness fresh off the end of a successful season for the team. The blue suit he has on clings to him in just the right ways, and his cheeks have a pink flush to them.
“Hi,” He says awkwardly. You aren’t quite certain what to do at the moment, or what even is happening right now. “Do you know what’s going on?” 
“I don’t, actually. Lando just told me to stay here and that he’d be right back,” You admit.
Oscar lets out a noise of acknowledgement from the back of his throat. “Yeah, same, he told me it was something important. I’m not sure where he went, though.” 
He brings up a good point. Where had Lando gone?
Your phone buzzes in your hand at that moment, Lando’s name flashing across the screen when you glance at it. “Hang on, he’s just texted me,” You inform Oscar, angling your phone towards him as if whatever the message says will explain everything. 
Lando: Look up. 
Both of you look up at the same time, and what you see makes your heart drop into your ass. 
A sprig of mistletoe dangles from a haphazardly tied piece of string attached to the beam above. 
That fucker. You’re going to kill him. You’re actually going to kill Lando Norris. 
“Is that—that’s not mistletoe, is it?” Oscar squints up at the tiny plant, tilting his head. 
“It is,” You sigh, fighting the urge to go find Lando and strangle him with your bare hands. “I want you to know I’ve had absolutely nothing to do with this. It was all your idiot teammate.” 
Oscar laughs a little bit, shoulders shaking. “No, I know it’s all him. He thinks he’s hilarious.” 
“He sure does.” 
“I don’t think anyone’s ever told him he’s not,” He replies. Then he shifts on his feet, reaching up to run a nervous hand through his hair. “You look really nice, by the way. Been meaning to tell you that all night, but there’s so many people here I couldn’t find you. Until now, it seems.” 
All night. Oscar has been looking for you all night, just to tell you that you look nice. He’s making it really hard not to fall for him a little bit more. 
“Thank you, Oscar. You clean up well too.” 
He looks down at himself, rocking back and forth on his heels a little. “You think so? I didn’t know if the two shades of blue were too much.” 
“No, they look great. Really.” 
A sudden silence blankets the two of you, and you hate it. You wish you were better at holding conversation, but with Oscar, all your thoughts seem to go right out the window. 
“We should go—” 
“D’you want to—” 
“Sorry, sorry, you first,” You insist, pressing your lips together. 
“Sure, yeah. I was just, uh, asking if you’d maybe want to…y’know.” He glances up at the mistletoe, then back to you, and if you aren’t mistaken, he looks a little hopeful. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. I’m not—I wouldn’t force you or anything. I just…yeah, we could, if that’s something you’d be into.” 
“Oh!” You blink at him owlishly, completely caught off guard by his suggestion. Oscar wants to kiss you. Is this real life, or has Lando just played the ultimate cruelest prank on you?
“Tradition-wise, and all. I heard you’re cursed with bad luck for years if you break it,” He adds hastily, rubbing at the back of his neck. 
“Definitely wouldn’t want that.” 
“Definitely not,” He echoes, bobbing his head. What comes out of his mouth next is entirely out of the blue. “Did you know the word mistletoe comes from two Anglo Saxon words? Mistel, which means dung, and tan, which basically means branch.” 
“No, I did not know that! That’s…very interesting,” You say enthusiastically, teeth digging into your bottom lip to quell the laugh threatening to spill out. If it were anyone else, you’d think it was quite weird, but Oscar’s word vomit is strangely endearing. 
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. It’s disgusting, and you didn’t ask. Erm, wow, I’m—” 
“Oscar.” 
“Yeah?” He squeaks, pale cheeks rosy with embarrassment. 
You push forward instead of saying anything else, pressing your lips against his briefly. It’s a split second kiss, but it’s all you can manage without feeling like you’re doing something monumentally stupid. Still, it’s enough to send a zip of something thrilling through your veins. 
When you pull back, Oscar’s eyes are wide, and immediately you think you’ve made a mistake. You open your mouth to blurt an excuse, an apology, anything, but he speaks before you can.
“Will you go out with me?” You falter at the sudden question, totally caught off guard, and it seems to make him panic. “Oh. Oh no. Did I get this completely wrong?” 
“No! No, you didn’t,” You say quickly, reaching out to take his hand. His shoulders slump in relief, fingers already tightening around yours. “I’d love to go out with you, Osc.” 
“Thank god, or this would’ve been really awkward,” He sighs. “Looks like Lando did something right today.” 
“For the first time in his life, probably.” 
“In all fairness, I don’t think I would’ve had the balls to ask you out otherwise,” Oscar admits sheepishly. You hum your agreement. It turns out Lando being a nosy meddler of a friend has its benefits sometimes. “Think we should thank him or something?” 
“Definitely not. His ego would get way too big.” 
Lando looks entirely too smug when the two of you return to the party, eyes immediately zeroing in on your joined hands. “I take it the mistletoe went over well?” 
“I dunno what you’re talking about.” You shrug casually, glancing over at Oscar to see him do the same. 
“Alright, fine. Be like that. You’re welcome, by the way. I expect a mad good Christmas present from both of you this year, I hope you know that.”
Oscar blinks. “But I already got you a set of tea towels.” 
“Ugh, spoiler!” Lando huffs, shoulders slumping. “Also, what are we—fifty? I mean, tea towels! Really, Osc?” 
“You said yours were ugly!” 
You make an offended noise from the back of your throat, furrowing your eyebrows. “I got you those towels for secret santa two years ago, you asshole.” 
“You did? Jesus, you two really are meant for each other,” Lando snorts, shaking his head. 
Oscar just grins over at you, giving a little tilt of his head as if to say great minds think alike. 
“By the way, we’ve got to get onstage soon, so if you’d stop making goo goo eyes at each other so we could get a move on, that’d be great.” 
“Oh. Alright.” Oscar’s smile fades as his gaze flicks back to you, seemingly displeased that he has to leave you so soon. “D’you mind if I…” 
“Go on, bring out the trophy. I’ll be right here,” You assure him, stepping in to drop a chaste kiss to his cheek.
Once they’re onstage little while later, Oscar’s already found you in the crowd, and as they lift the impressive trophy high in the air, he’s only looking at you, beaming so unbelievably bright it might just rival the sun. You smile right back at him, the pride you have both for this team and the two boys onstage just barely contained. 
This night marks the start of new beginnings, both for McLaren and for your relationship with a certain Aussie. And just like the 2025 season, you’re excited to see what next year will hold. 
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madschiavelique · 2 days ago
Text
A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 9 - Death
summary : maybe it is time for reader to move on from patterns that are now useless and reconsider things
content warnings : some angst, then some comfort, then more angst, then more comfort, some crude language an mentions of harassment
word count : 6.1k
author's note : okay i think i might write my old bg3 requests still sitting in my inbox after this but!!!! im excited to write the next chap
proofread by the lovely @yaffles-world <3
masterlist : here
taglist : @doctorho @6selkie @yunloyal @kryscent @hypocritic-trash-baby @kapitankarate @a-lovers-card @ababanerb @lolixsstuff @forget-me-not-my-dear @smolanchovy @shugar0cone0alt @harrys--ferret-blog @suuummerrr @stillinracooncity @noxturnalmoth @dlbitch @cloufire @csolya @kathyholdsagrudge @furblrwurblr @potatointhedirt @atrocioushaircut @ren-ni @schrodingersraven @urmommt
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You had spent your Saturday recovering, not without frustration. It was a waste of time, you thought. You could have taken advantage of a day without any classes or work like that to study and make more progress, but Selene had come to visit you, worried.
She officially met Sky, who had always admired her since her first lessons with her. Selene had come to your bedside, placing a gentle hand on your forehead for a moment, then letting it slide down to your warm cheek. She sighed, familiar with your overworking habits.
She asked Sky about your night, about the prescribed treatment, and Selene couldn't help but exchange a knowing glance with you when Viktor was mentioned, especially for such chivalrous deeds. She smiled a playful ‘see, I told you so’ which made you pull your cover over your head in annoyance.
When she left, Sky came back to you, bringing you a chicken broth to restore your health, which she hoped you'd consume to the last drop.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this and calling them, calling him. But..." She sighed, watching you finally eat something with relief. "You were working yourself to death, and with such a pace, you probably wouldn't have been able to pass the exams at all if you'd kept going."
You swallowed your mouthful with difficulty, a small knot of shame and regret tightening it. You'd been so obsessed, so fixated on outdoing yourself and winning back your number one spot from Viktor that you'd become nothing more than an information-gobbling machine.
You didn't even need it, you'd just decided to get ahead on the next year's syllabus in the hope of impressing in the papers and showing your dedication. How could you be so stupid? 
"Your state was deteriorating visibly..." Sky reflected, looking down at her hands before only meeting your gaze for a moment. "You really scared me, you know."
Your heart split in two. You placed your lunch tray on your bedside table, taking Sky's hands in yours and seeking her gaze despite her bowed head.
"Hey," you murmured in your tired voice as you smiled softly at her when she looked back at you. "You did the right thing, Sky. Without you..." you sighed, thinking back on your stupidity, "I don't know where I'd be right now. This was going to eat me alive until there would be nothing left of me but a white chalk outline on my desk."
She smiled softly, squeezing your hands. Her eyes glistened, her chin trembling slightly as she took off her glasses.
"Oh, Sky..." You pulled her into your arms, holding her close. "I'm sorry."
You couldn't imagine how tired she must have been, seeing you wasting away like that, not listening to her, not hearing her. She had her own revisions, her own things to do, and you had made your problem hers.
You could feel her forehead wrinkling, her hands trembling slightly around you as she twitched.
Since when did you become such an important part of someone's life that they cared that much about you?
What would have happened if, for one more year, you'd never had a flatmate? And if that flatmate hadn't been Sky, would she have had even an ounce of patience like your friend?
You'd fucked up and nearly gone off the deep end, and Sky had done everything she could to avoid it.
"I promise you to never do that again," you vowed, pulling away from her to run your thumb over her cheek and wipe away the tears. "Please, don't cry on me. Cry on... I don't know, Heimerdinger's hairstylist."
Don't cry for me, I'm not worth a waste of tears, not yours.
She laughed nervously, her eyes going to the ceiling. "I don't know why I'm crying, really, this is..." she sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "this is stupid."
"No, it's not," you smiled, "It's good to cry."
She raised her eyebrows, wiggling her nose and shrugging. "Well, you never do."
"That's because I sold my lacrimal glands," you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood by joking.
And it worked - she laughed, the sadness slowly evaporating from her face. "So you have no tears, but you still have your heart, right ?"
You closed your fist, banging it against your chest. "It's a dusty engine, but it does its work."
"Well," she stood up, "I hope it can still feel something."
You observed her for a moment, picking up a saucepan and filling it with water. No doubt to make coffee, or at least tea to ward off your addiction and prevent your mechanical heart from overheating under the caffeine. No amount of Piltovian gold could offer you anything like Sky's sweetness.
"My heart's full of room for the very few friends I have." You picked up your bowl of broth again, its warmth cupped against your fingers. "Its aorta is named after you."
She turned to you, smiling, her eyes filling again with tears as she breathed in. 
"You can't just say things like that and not expect me to ruin a box of these," she described movements in the air with her hands in ridiculous, exagerated swirls, "silk-soft tissues they have here."
"Their toilet paper is so thick and soft it feels like we're using pillows," you sneered before blowing on the bouillon.
"Right?!" Sky exclaimed, "It's only been like, a month and a half since I've been here and it all feels so fancy. Everything is so... clean."
"I know!" You laughed, "It's infuriating. The streets barely have a scratch, the buildings have colours straight out of a kid's colouring book, and they have trees."
She sighed, visualising the vegetation the city had before her eyes fell back on yours. "You never get used to it, right?"
You swallowed your mouthful of broth, pressing your lips into a thin line. "Never."
She leaned back against the worktop, watching you for a moment. "Seriously though." She tilted her head to one side. "Don't ever do that again."
You smiled, bringing your forefinger and thumb to your ear and pressing on the lobe. 
It was a custom in Zaun to pledge your word. In the Undercity, you pressed your lobe as if you were piercing it, to imaginatively seal in the skin a ring other than the one on your finger. However, everyone knows that if you pull too hard on a piercing, you can tear the flesh, and find it difficult to retie the skin so that it can be pierced again. So the promise was made with a symbolic ring, anchored in the skin, that the promise would be kept.
"May my flesh tear apart if, by misfortune, I betrayed," you recited.
During the rest of the last week of classes before the exams, you resumed a much more normal revision routine than the original, much to Sky's delight. You'd revise with her in the afternoons outside class, asking each other questions about the subjects you shared while you were trying not to die laughing from the stupid ways you looked with your facemasks during skincare time.
When Friday came around, you decided to go to the library again. Unconsciously, it had become a ritual. With Viktor or without, you intended to surround yourself with knowledge as immense as possible.
You went and sat down at a table, alone, while many students who had come for the same reason were already crowding most of the available ones. You took out your things, rereading your index cards for the umpteenth time until you were almost ready to recite them by heart if the need arose.
You couldn't help but lose concentration when you heard your name spoken in the distance, coming from voices that weren’t familiar to you, further behind your back.
"And to say Viktor got put with her on Heimerdinger's subject," one said, chuckling.
"I wonder which of them pulls their hair out more in each other's company."
You tried not to think about it, but since, for once, the conversation wasn't all about the walking street lamp, you couldn't help but let your ears hang close to their mouths.
"Did you see her the other day? A vision of the apocalypse. Hollow cheeks and dead eyes like she hadn't eaten in a month."
"Gotta have hollow cheeks to suck the teachers better," her classmate sneered.
Your jaw tightened, trying to ignore their remarks. This wasn't your first time hearing such things - the previous two years hadn't been as gentle as this one, even if Viktor had caused a few problems with his arrival.
"Can you believe what she did to Tyler?"
"She's an animal." They both laughed, causing you to sink back into your chair.
"How do you think Viktor handles her?"
"He doesn't, she's just a handicap to him and he seems to have an embarrassing enough one as it is."
You inhaled. Someone will probably tell them to be quiet so as not to disturb the peace of the library. You hoped.
"Who's a handicap?"
Your eyes widened as you suddenly turned around. Viktor was standing there, facing them, both students suddenly looking very confused and ashamed.
"Viktor," one of them laughed nervously, "this was just a joke, she..."
But the student didn't have time to come up with an excuse. Viktor raised an eyebrow before speaking.
"She's an incredible person who no one can defeat," he informed them, the latter two lowering their eyes on their notes suddenly invested in their revisions. "Except me."
He punctuated his sentence, turning away from them and meeting your gaze. He seemed surprised, not expecting to find you there, at least not doing nothing when such needlessly cruel nonsense was uttered in your name.
Inevitably, of course, he moved towards you.
Except me.  The phrase made you roll your eyes for a moment before you tried to read information from your notes that hadn't needed reading for a long time. 
He sat down opposite you, keeping his hand on the pommel of his cane. "Your name seems to be on everyone's lips, Miss."
"What can I say," you sighed, "the obsession they have for me is an undying addiction."
However, Viktor didn't seem amused at all.
"Why do you let them say such things about you without lifting a finger?"
You bit the inside of your lip, feeling the pressure of his gaze on you as your eyes scanned uselessly over your revision sheets. 
"It's not the first time I've heard that kind of comment about me," you confirmed without much interest, "I'll survive it."
"So you spend most of your time worrying about the injustices other people experience but you push your own under a doormat?" Viktor summed up, not seeming genuinely thrilled at the idea.
"If I could push the injustice that Tyler is by his very existence off the face of this world, I'd be stepping on some rich blonde aristocrat every time I left and returned from home."
But Viktor still wasn't laughing, far from it. When your eyes finally met his, they were dark.
He sighed. "Are you trying to punish yourself for something by neglecting yourself so much?"
I'd like to forget more than anything else in the world. The thought was taking over your soul, eating away at you like a gangrene with an insatiable hunger.
"Of course," you chuckled, exaggerating a falsely happy tone.
"Stop this." His tone was firm.
"Stop what?" you questioned.
"Trying to make something funny out of this."
You frowned, raising an eyebrow. "What? You're not feeling in the mood for our ritual chit chats?"
"Do I look like I'm joking around right now?"
His eyes had the same gleam, carried the same weight as when he'd held you in place in your bed just a week ago. You almost gulped, speechless. Why was he reacting like that? Why was he worried about you?
You lowered your eyes, licking your lips as you returned to your notes.
"Fine," you admitted, dropping your sarcastic tone. "I guess I owe you for saving my life, anyway."
It didn't sound like it, but it was probably the closest you'd come to a ‘thank you’ for him so far. He seemed surprised that you were finally cooperating in the conversation, that you were at last sending him a very subliminal magic word.
His shoulders slumped, as if the idea of being angry with you was stupid.
"How are you feeling?" He finally asked.
"I'm no longer sick, if that's the question you meant to ask."
"It was, but also," he brought his cane up between his legs, clasping both hands on the pommel as he came to rest his chin on it, "I just wanted to know how you are doing."
Why are you doing this? You were thinking back over the last few weeks. His questions during the power cut, the attention he'd paid to you, staying awake all night by your side to make sure you were taking your medication properly, and now...
"Well," you swallowed, these thoughts unsettling you for a moment and sending a foreign warmth into your belly, "the exams are approaching and I think you've had quite the close look on their effect on me so... yeah."
He considered you, tilting his head to the side until his cheek was the one pressed against the back of his hands. He scanned you, his gaze sending a warm wind up your spine.
"You're still on the treatment, right?"
The horrible powder you had to mix in a glass at least twice a day wasn't the moment you were looking forward to most in your daily routine, but you did it anyway, under Sky's sharp eyes.
You remained silent, just to see how Viktor would react and whether, as he had dictated, he would make sure you stayed in bed no matter what.
Faced with your silence, he raised an eyebrow as he straightened up, finally wrinkling his forehead as he frowned.
"Right?" he repeated, almost menacingly.
"Relax." A nervous chuckle escaped you. "Yes, I'm taking it."
He sighed in relief at the news, while you shook your head in confusion.
"You're putting all this effort... for me? Why"
The phrase sounded alien in your mouth, as if you weren't worth the time or energy of such dedication. He gazed at you for a moment, his eyes roving over your index cards.
"You know why."
"Because you can't have your best rival go against you while she's sick?" you recited.
"Because I don't want to be your rival."
You found this answer profoundly absurd.
"What do you mean-" But he cut you off, annoyed.
"What do you want, hmm? To become Heimerdinger's assistant?"
Of course, you thought, but the way Viktor had said it sounded... easy, too easy. Or at least, too easy for you.
"I don't intend to be his assistant, and I'm going to tell you why."
He stood up, walking around the table until he was beside you and leaning in slightly.
"Because I've already been his assistant, and I stopped."
The words echoed inside you, like the cracking of something you thought was indestructible. Your lips parted in shock, watching him with huge eyes as he straightened up.
"In any case. I wanted to make sure that you'd be back in good shape." He began to walk towards the library exit, turning one last time to give you a playful look. "And now that I'm sure you'll be in full shape, I know I don't need to hold back, hm, rival?"
He turned away, heading for the big door, leaving you with a short-circuited brain. What did he mean by "already been"? What did he mean he had stopped? How had Viktor ever been Heimerdinger's assistant?
When the sentence finally reached your mind after a long travel from your ears, you gathered your things in a flash as the questions began to fly and you almost ran to catch up with him. You caught up with him in the corridors, under the astonished gazes of all the students.
"What?" you asked, out of breath from the sudden exertion and the gust of wind the news had knocked from your chest.
He turned to you, slightly surprised that you'd practically chased after him. He'd probably expected you to sit at your table, mulling things over until the questions got too much for you and you decided to come and see him after a day or two of mental torment.
"You've been Heimerdinger's assistant?" you repeated, adjusting the strap of your satchel on your shoulder.
He shrugged, turning away from you. "Yes."
Was he really just going to leave like that? Leaving you in agony for answers you wanted more than anything? No, it wasn't going to be like that.
You grabbed his wrist, much to his surprise, and pulled him with you into an empty adjoining corridor. Once you were out of sight, checking from one end of the corridor to the other to see if anyone was there, you finally regained his gaze.
There was something in his eyes, like a hint of something that kept his lips parted until they closed and his eyes lowered to your hand still gripping his wrist.
You let go, the heat of shame spreading across your neck and cheeks for a moment as you took a step away, crossing your arms over your chest.
"When were you his assistant?"
He leaned against the wall, sighing as he stared at you.
"You do remember Jayce's trial, don't you?"
How could you forget? You hadn't been present at the trial. Selene had invited you to come as it concerned your friend, but you were too afraid of the aristocratic eyes and the pressure they would put on you.
The story remained vague. Due to special circumstances that remained under the security and secrecy of the administration as to the extent of Jayce's activities, he had been allowed to stay at the academy.
"Yes."
"By then, I had already been Heimerdinger’s assistant for a month.."
You now were certain you'd never seen him before. It was just one month into your summer holidays, and you had gone to Zaun to find Eris. Your chances of running into him were almost nil, no doubt about it.
"How did you get to become his assistant?" you quizzed.
He shrugged, and that simple movement made you want to scream. "I suppose he must have liked my assiduity enough to take me on. That and the fact that, with his little legs, I was bound to walk at his pace," he joked.
You held your breath in your lungs for a moment, before releasing it. He didn't seem to be lying, at least about the only serious part of his sentence. He was undoubtedly the best choice for Heimerdinger in any case.
However, it seemed to you that it wasn't so much exasperation that you were feeling - you were trying to understand what the feeling was... a relief, but not really about the fact that the assistant's place was free, no, a relief about Viktor that you couldn't really place at the moment.
"Why did you stop?" There was no longer any frustration in your voice, just a new-found curiosity.
Viktor seemed taken aback by your new intonation, straightening slightly against the wall. "It didn't interest me anymore."
What could he have found that was better? The thought, at last, that Viktor's aim was not to be an assistant for the rest of his life, crept into your mind. Viktor seemed to pick up on it.
"See? I told you we didn't have the same goal."
You finally realised what that feeling of relief was: you didn't have to hate him any more. You no longer had a reason to try to outdo him, no longer had a valid justification for becoming number one again. But why was it such a relief? There was rarely anything more gratuitous than hatred in what you knew, and it should have been the same for Viktor, so why was it such a relief not to have to hate him any more?
Hating him served no purpose, no motivation. It was useless, and what do you do with useless things?
You took half a step towards him.
"The truce you suggested, have you come up with any clauses?"
His eyebrows rose, his eyes widened. He lifted himself off the wall.
"Um no-" he began, but you cut him off.
"Find some, and I'll consider them."
And with that, you took off, leaving Viktor speechless. 
You moved quickly, trying to get home as fast as possible. You were afraid that the street air, so pure and fresh, would wash away your conclusions and fuel a hatred that no longer had any reason to exist.
But you didn't go home straight away, making a diversion to Emeline's shop. As soon as you entered her shop, she didn't hesitate to jump on your neck and give you a hug.
"My little lamb," she enthused as she squeezed you until your ribs broke before cupping your face as if to examine you, "are you feeling better? You gave me quite a fright, you know! When your friend came to visit me and told me you were ill I nearly closed up shop to come and see you myself."
"Everything's fine," you laughed, squeezing her arms, "I've almost completely recovered!"
You'd decided that, after your chat with Viktor and all the effort you'd put into your revision, you deserved a little something to comfort you.
After a little chat with Emeline, she packed two pastries, one for you and one for Sky. Of course, she didn't forget to fill you up with an extra small packet of sweets that would have gone unsold during the day.
When you returned home, you greeted Sky with a smile and raised the two bags of treats to your head. She smiled in surprise.
"To what do we owe this feast?" she asked.
You shrugged. "Let's just say I've made resolutions for the better."
You'd been laughing all evening, stuffing your faces with these delicacies as you both took a well-deserved break from studying.
Your eyes turned to your tarot deck, you'd forgotten to draw any cards lately due to your revisions, so after wiping your hands full of sugar, you took the pack in hand.
“I see you pulling one almost every morning,” Sky remarked, lying on her stomach on your bed while you were cross-legged. “Why do you do that?”
You pulled out your cards in your hands. “To have a leitmotif to follow during the day. Although to be quite honest I don't follow their advice every time.”
She laughed softly, knowing by now your stubbornness like no other. “That doesn't surprise me at all.”
“Yeah well,” you smiled in turn as you shuffled the cards, ”some of them are not the best cards to wake up on to in the morning.”
So you cut your deck as usual, and looked at its underside. You raised your eyebrows.
“Just like this one.”
You showed Sky the card: Death.
She winced, her eyebrows furrowing as her mouth formed as if she were pronouncing the letter x.
“Okay, I get it,” she said, shaking her head. “Is it literal? I hope not, right?”
“Nah it's pretty safe.” You laughed. “The description of its meaning is in the little booklet.” You pointed to it with your chin, and Sky grabbed it, flipping through until she found the Death page.
“Transition. Underworld. Flux. Occultism. Letting go. Evolution requiring liberation. Metaphorical death.” She read. “Off to a great start apparently.”
You chuckled, observing the card as she continued reading. “Death moves across a field with a slow, steady march. A king lies dead. He represents the old systems of order cast aside. A bishop begs for mercy, a young girl turns away in fear and only a curious little girl looks up to greet death. She has not been taught to fear it.”
Your thumb passed over the little girl's drawing, your heart clenching. 
“A ship sails away, heedless of death's march. A sun rises between two towers to reflect resurrection and new beginnings. All endings give way to new possibilities. Transformation leads to renewal and growth.” She raised her eyebrows. “Ain't as bad as I thought it would be.”
“Yeah,” you considered, thinking back on your day and the fact that the cards were pointing you in the right direction, ”indeed.”
Exam week was over. You'd had absolutely no trouble at all with any of the exercises. All the subjects were in the bag and you were finishing virtually ahead of schedule in every exam room.
Today was the day of results. The teachers had spent the weekend correcting everything, and the results boards had finally been displayed.
You woke up feeling lighter than you thought you would. Since realizing that there was no longer any point in chasing Viktor to victory, you'd relaxed.
You went down the hall with Sky, passing the student mailboxes for a moment so you could check if either of you had received anything.
You opened the metal door to a single letter, sealed with a metallic black wax seal you knew all too well: Eris.
You took the key to your apartment, using its teeth to open the envelope and take out the letter, which you brought to your nose.
Her letters always smelled of the essential oils and herbs that constantly appeased you. Without further ado, you unfolded the paper and read its contents.
My sweet friend,
I thought you were a lost cause in friendship, but I guess this year the wheel is really turning on your side. I'm delighted, and I imagine the same goes for Selene. I'd love to meet her, that Sky, she sounds absolutely charming. I'm guessing, though, that the day with your Five of Wands must have been no picnic, especially if - from what I understand - Emperor Viktor is to blame. But I'm sure that the Immeasurable Grandeur of the Prestigious Piltover Academy will crown your success.
You giggled to yourself as your eyes passed over the elegant, forced curves that Eris had taken care to add in response to your own inky bows.
I miss you so much. You know how the days are here in Zaun; I open, sell and consult, and close in the evening before any trouble starts. I'm paid with golden trinkets, new flowers to dry and other plants from other regions. I have managed to get some new customers, though, and not the least important ones. Renata Glasc herself has been to my shop.
You'd already heard of Renata Glasc, an ambitious woman who was growing in influence on the streets of Zaun. She wasn't a Chem Baroness, but at the rate she was going, it looked like she was well on her way to becoming one.
In fact, it's through her that I'm hearing about worrying things here. Common for Zaun, you may say, but I can't help thinking the worst. I'll tell you about it myself when we meet. I'm planning to come here around December 23, so let's meet at the usual bridge at three o'clock. I'll be staying with you for a few days. I can't tell you more. But I've lit a candle for you, wishing you success and good health.
I look forward to seeing you again, my dearest trouble,
Eris.
What could she possibly be worried about? The situation was invariably complicated in Zaun, but what could it be that she was worried about?
You carefully tucked the letter into your bag, heading out to the shuttle stop.
“Not too stressed?” Sky asked.
You huffed, a cloud of warmth rising into the air. The cold had been gaining in intensity for over a week, and all the students at the academy had donned their scarves.
“No.” you replied, confident. “You?”
“A bit,” she admitted, her breath trembling slightly.
“Hey,” you pressed your shoulder against hers as she turned to face you, ”you've got this. I know you do.”
She nodded, smiling at you as the shuttle arrived. The journey was swift, some students over-excited at the prospect of their results, others apprehensive about what was to come.
As you arrived at the golden gates of the academy, you noticed that neither Viktor nor Jayce were in sight. Perhaps they had decided to go to the academy later?
The group of students walked up to the scoreboards, an army of others already huddled in front of them.
Sky went in search of her name, while you breathed in, waiting for other students to pass before you.
You didn't know what awaited you at the top of the board, which name would be at the head. Did it still matter? Yes, it probably did, or it didn't. Did you want it to matter? Probably not. But did your mind keep wandering? Endlessly.
What if Viktor was still number one - would you be disappointed? What if you were number one - would you be satisfied? And if neither he nor you were number one, would you be revolted?
“Look who it is!”
That voice alone was enough to make you frown, raise your eyebrows and lower your eyelids in boredom.
Tyler.
You turned to him for a moment, him seeming pleased that you responded to his voice as you rolled your eyes and sighed.
“What do you want, blondie? Searching for a new name on the boards to torment?”
He chuckled, stepping toward you. “You don't change a winning team, darling. Have you found your place at the very bottom of the ranking?”
It was your turn to chuckle, turning to face him. He had no idea about your academic results, it seemed. 
“Tyler you have as many neurons as you have eyes, and they're both fighting for any kind of connection.” You turned to the bulletin board, stepping forward slightly. “Do them mercy and close your eyelids for all eternity before we have to deal with a rain of fire and the horsemen and...”
But you didn't even finish your sentence, the words dying on your lips as your eyes came to rest on your name.
First place.
You were back in first place. Eyes and mouth wide open, you kept blinking to make sure your vision wasn't failing you. And the name underneath... 
Viktor.
Your scores were almost equal, yours barely beating him.
“Told you I wasn't going to hold back.”
You turned towards the voice, the tinkle you now knew too well of his cane echoing on the floor. He stood there, serene, a small smile on his face before his lips pressed into an inverted grin and his eyebrows raised.
“You fight well, Miss.”
You couldn't help it - you cracked a smile at him. And Viktor seemed astonished, as if he'd never seen such a thing happen. No stupid remark, no pettiness behind your drawn lips, just sincere amusement and joy.
“What the...” Tyler's voice died in his throat as he took in the bulletin boards, turning to you. “How did you...”
You turned to him, his sole presence now not even enough to ruin your happiness and relief. “As if you could reach me,” you replied with a triumphant smile, walking out of the crowd to join Viktor.
Once you got away from all this tumult, he nodded. “You got first,” he remarked, “congratulations.”
You observed him for a second, his posture reflecting a sort of disappointment. Was it from losing? Or was it from the fact you seemed so happy in your rivalry with him? You sighed, rolling your eyes.
���Quit it,” you pronounced with a smile, shaking your head slightly. “We share this crown, and you perfectly know that.”
He said nothing, just gazing at you for a moment. There was this gleam, the tickling of a smile ready to be born on his lips as the satisfaction that, maybe, these ink duels you were both fencing would wash away and let something different be born from them. 
He was apprehensive about saying something, but Jayce came towards you both.
“Ah, Jayce, exams went well?” You asked, knowing without a doubt that he didn't have to worry about his results.
“Oh yeah, perfect.” He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line, his eyes darting from yours to Viktor's, surprised that you weren't quarrelling. “Say, hum... can I talk to you guys for a minute?” 
Viktor and you exchanged a confused look, before ultimately following him.
“A masquerade?” you repeated, as if the word had never grazed your lips before.
Jayce had brought you to a room in the Academy where you could all talk without hearing the multiple cries of students as to their result. And considering what he had to discuss with you, he'd done the right thing.
“It's this thing Mel is invited to,” he explained nervously. “All the people of high aristocracy will be there, counselors, lords and ladies... Please, can you both accompany me to it?”
“As your dance partners?” joked Viktor, frowning.
“No, Mel's already my partner. But, she said that there would be no opposition for you both to come as well. You're the,” he seemed to search for words for a moment, ”croom dé la cram?”
“Crême de la crême?” you suggested.
He pointed at you, glad you understood. “Yeah, that. La crême de la crême of the Academy. Such prestigious students as the both of you sharing the top of the board deserve to be in such an event.”
“So you want us,” you pointed repeatedly between Viktor and yourself, ”to come to this event because you're too nervous to go there by yourself?”
The interested party scratched the back of his neck, sniffling before looking at you both with puppy-dog eyes. “Yeah?”
“Aren't you supposed to have a partner to come to a masquerade?” Interrogated Viktor.
“I thought you two could... go together?”
You chuckled, your mouth hanging open. You exchanged a bewildered look with Viktor, who didn't seem to be too upset by the concept.
“You're joking, right?” you asked.
“Please just-” he didn't finish his sentence, “put your bickering aside for one evening. You don't even have to show up together if it suits you better.”
“I don't see any problems with it,” Viktor shrugged, indifferent. “When is it?”
"Tomorrow night."
“Tomorrow night?” You exclaimed. “Jayce, if it's a society gala, I've got nothing to wear.”
He reached into his own wallet, pulled out some bills and handed them to you.
“Here, I'm sure you'll find something convenient with this.”
“Jayce,” you remarked, looking at the fresh bills, “what the hell.”
“This is not much for you to get a decent gown for the gala. Keep the rest, if there is any, to get some fancy accessories.” He grabbed your hand, placing the cash in it. “Truly, this is the least I can do.”
You knew Jayce's patrons were the Kiramman’s, but to have money to give away like this? Since when was that the case?
“Vik, I think it's time for us to go.” Jayce finally remarked before leaving the room, leaving the two of you.
You both stayed in silence for a moment, both digesting the information that had just been given to you.
“What a way to celebrate your victory,” Viktor finally sighed.
“I've seen worse celebrations than a masquerade,” you remarked, observing the tickets for a moment before folding them up, “but I think I've had better experiences than being in a room with nobility sipping glasses of champagne with petty innuendo in every exchange.”
He huffed in turn. “I suppose the next area in which we must excel in no time is the art of conversation in high society. Although, considering our usual conversation,” he leaned his head to the side with a smirk, "we'll fit right in."
“How exciting,” you raised your eyebrows sarcastically, letting silence take its rule back on the room before you finally decided to break it. ”Guess I better go and find myself something to wear. See you tomorrow, Viktor.” 
“Wait,” he called to you, seeming hesitant about what he was going to suggest, ”would you like us to get together first and go? Or...”
“Let's meet directly at the party,” you assured him.
He nodded, his lips pressing in a thin line as you turned away. “Oh and...” you turned back to him at his words, his eyes piercing. “Don't forget the mask.”
You nodded, leaving the room.
You had today and tomorrow to find an outfit, and get used to the fact that Viktor was no longer a threat to be eliminated. Easier said than done. 
But still… What a way to celebrate a rebirth.
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angelicwrites · 3 days ago
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would’ve could’ve should’ve 2 | logan howlett
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summary. a friends-with-benefits arrangement where you realize you’ve fallen for logan, the only rule you both swore to follow. though he hesitantly agrees to end things, his silence hides a truth that he’s fallen for you too. pairings. fwb!logan howlett x fem!reader genre. smut (MDNI 18+), dom!logan x sub!reader, porn w plot warnings. did not proofread this, cheating, unprotected sex, manhandling, oral & fingering (f receiving), nipple play, jealous!logan, angst, lmk if i miss something
a/n. so sorry this took long i keep on deleting bc it sucks, pls show this some love by reblogging !
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you tried to avoid logan, shutting him out of your thoughts and focusing on moving forward. it wasn’t easy, not when every memory of him clung to you like a shadow. the connection you shared was unlike anything you’d ever felt, and no matter how hard you tried, the way he made you feel lingered in every quiet moment. but you told yourself it was for the best. he was with someone else, and you couldn’t be the one to cross that line again.
days turned into weeks, and you convinced yourself you were making progress. you threw yourself into work, picked up new hobbies, and even said yes to a date with scott, a charming, persistent friend of yours who’d been vying for your attention. it was a distraction, a chance to prove to yourself that you could move on.
but logan was never far.
he’d heard about your date, jean mentioned it in passing and something inside him snapped. the thought of you with someone else was unbearable, a sharp pain he couldn’t ignore. he’d ended things, yes, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you were his. and the idea of scott touching you, holding you, drove him to the brink.
you were in the middle of getting ready, slipping into a little black dress that hugged your curves perfectly, when a sharp knock echoed through your apartment. you assumed it was scott, arriving early, but when you opened the door, it was logan.
he stood there, his jaw tight, eyes dark and unreadable. “logan,” you breathed, your heart thudding in your chest.
“what are you doing?” he asked, his voice low, laced with tension.
“i could ask you the same thing,” you shot back, gripping the doorframe.
his eyes flicked to your dress, his expression hardening. “you’re really going out with him?”
you didn’t answer, but your silence was enough. logan’s jaw clenched, and before you could react, he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him with a quiet finality.
“what are you doing?” you repeated, taking a step back as he advanced toward you.
“you can’t just move on like this,” he said, his voice rough, almost breaking. “like i never mattered.”
your breath hitched. “logan, you’re with jean. we ended this—”
“i don’t care about jean,” he cut you off, his tone raw, his eyes blazing. “i care about you.”
the words hit you like a tidal wave, stealing the air from your lungs. he was inches away now, his presence overwhelming. you tried to hold your ground, but every part of you trembled under his gaze.
“logan, this isn’t fair,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “we can’t do this anymore.”
“then tell me you don’t feel anything for me,” he challenged, his voice softer now but no less intense. “look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me.”
your lips parted, but no words came out. you couldn’t. not when every part of you still ached for him.
logan’s hand reached out, brushing a strand of hair from your face, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. “that’s what i thought,” he murmured, his voice heavy with emotion.
before you could think, his lips were on yours. desperate, demanding, and full of everything you’d both been holding back. it wasn’t just a kiss; it was a confession, a plea, a promise.
your hands pressed against his chest, intending to push him away, but instead, your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him closer. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you against him like he never wanted to let go.
“logan,” you gasped when he finally pulled away, his forehead resting against yours.
“tell me you don’t want this,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “tell me, and i’ll walk away.”
but you couldn’t. not when his touch still burned on your skin, not when his words echoed everything you’d been too scared to admit. and as his lips found yours again, all the barriers you’d built crumbled in his arms.
logan's hands roamed over your body, cupping your breasts through the thin fabric of your dress, squeezing and kneading them. he pinched your hardened nipples, making you moan into his mouth. his touch was rough, almost brutal, but it sent waves of pleasure through your body.
with swift movements, logan tore your dress, exposing your naked breasts. he bent down, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting gently, causing you to arch off the bed. his hands traveled down your body, tracing patterns on your skin, making you squirm with anticipation.
"you like that, don't you?" he murmured, his breath hot against your sensitive skin. "you love it when i take control."
you couldn't deny it. logan knew exactly how to push your buttons, how to make you surrender to his will. as he continued his assault on your senses, you felt your resistance crumbling.
logan's hands found their way to the waistband of your panties, and with a swift motion, he ripped them off, leaving you completely exposed. he admired your naked body, his eyes taking in every inch of your glistening pussy.
"i've missed this," he groaned, his voice thick with desire. "i’ve missed this so much you don’t understand."
without warning, logan lowered his head between your thighs, spreading your legs wide. his tongue flicked across your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. he licked and teased, driving you wild with need. his fingers joined in, sliding into your wetness, stretching and filling you as he ate you out with abandon.
"oh lo," you moaned, your hands gripping the sheets as you surrendered to the pleasure. "i can't— i can't take it."
logan's mouth and fingers worked in perfect harmony, driving you closer and closer to the edge. he sucked on your clit, his tongue flicking relentlessly, while his fingers pumped in and out, hitting all the right spots. your body trembled, your orgasm building to an intense peak.
"cum for me bub," logan growled, his voice hoarse with desire. "let me feel you come on my tongue."
his words were like a trigger, and you exploded in a wave of ecstasy. your body shook as you climaxed, your juices flowing freely, coating logan's face and hands. he didn't stop, continuing to lap at your sensitive flesh, drawing out every last drop of pleasure.
as your orgasm subsided, logan rose above you, his eyes blazing with satisfaction. he positioned himself at your entrance, his thick cock pressing against your wetness.
"i need to be inside you," he grunted, his voice strained. "i need to claim you, remind you who you belong to."
with one powerful thrust, logan impaled you, filling you completely. you gasped as he stretched you, his length hitting places deep within you that no one else had. he began to move, his hips pistoning in a relentless rhythm, driving into you with primal urgency.
"yes lo!" you cried out, your body rising to meet his every thrust. "i am all yours!"
loan's hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as he pounded into you. his cock felt like a steel rod, pounding into your core, hitting your sweet spot over and over. your pleasure built again, spiraling towards another climax.
"i'm close," you panted, your nails digging into his shoulders. "im so close lo!"
logan's breathing became ragged as he neared his own release. he slammed into you harder, his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust.
"i'm gonna cum bub," he grunted, his eyes wild with passion. "i'm gonna fill you up, mark you as mine."
you felt his cock twitch inside you, and then he exploded, filling you with his hot seed. your walls clenched around him, taking every last drop as your own orgasm crashed over you. you cried out, your bodies locked together in a tangle of sweat and pleasure.
as your breathing slowed, logan collapsed onto the bed beside you, his chest heaving. you turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his intense gaze.
"i can't stay away from you," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "i know i shouldn't, but i can't let you go."
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rustbeltjessie · 1 day ago
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That comment (the one about the “let’s shoot the place up”)—and the whole sentiment of ‘a REAL protest vs a dance party’ really grinds my gears, man. There is definitely a time and a place for both serious-looking protest and the more joyful type, and as OP pointed out, actually, both were happening simultaneously. But also—I used to participate in a lot of protests, back in the late 90s/early-to-mid 2000s. And a lot of those protests had both joyful, party-like elements and “more serious” elements, and sometimes some people who thought that only the more serious elements were valid/useful would complain about it. They’d say we were making the movement look bad, or not making any real change, or whatever. But I remember a handful of different times when, marching through areas with a lot of corporate offices and high-end shops and the like, and I was near/with the people who were singing, or bucket-drumming, or radical cheerleading, or putting on elaborate puppet acts, or a couple of times even handing out free vegan baked goods and hot coffee to whomever wanted it, etc…. And some people who were in the offices and the shops or just walking around the area but not otherwise part of the protest…they saw/heard us, and they joined us. They did not join the people that complained about our way of protesting—who were generally the same people screaming at others for even working in those offices or shopping in those stores—they joined the people who made the protest seem more like a party. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, right? And you bring more people to your side or into your cause if you show them your side is welcoming of everyone and has music and art and vegan treats than if you scream at them for not already being part of it and make it all seem like some grim chore where if you join the revolution you’ll never get to have any more fun or pleasure in your life.
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timmydraker · 21 hours ago
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Tim who has never been good at understanding the words of Shakespeare and Dickens.
He can understand metaphors and knows about philosophy, but he’s always struggle to truely grasp the tragedy and helplessness so may of them hold. The idea of someone being doomed from the start, by the author and the narrative or maybe just the world they were set in, just doesn’t really make sense to him.
Part of him knows it’s because he was born with a vintage silver spoon placed delicately in his hands, but there’s more to it than that.
See, most of the bad things that have happened to Tim have either been consequences of his own action or the fact that his friends and colleagues all have the same dangerous job.
To him it just makes sense that bad things will happen and so he can just… prepare for it. He can do what he can to fix it or move onto something else and push away his own feelings because what else is he supposed to do?
So, no, things like Hamlet and Dorian don’t really click for him
At least… until he thinks about Jason.
Born in poverty with a world surrounding him that would not bother to care or offer help to him purely because of how he looks of his parents.
A mother who loves him endlessly, only to fall into the drugs she tried to protect him from.
Finding out that mother didn’t even give birth to him, but the father that never showed anything other than distain and cruelty was still his own.
Being given Robin, hated by the first one for a time, only to die in the suit by the hands of a mad man all because his real mother sold him out.
Waking up in a coffin, digging himself out and roaming around catatonic and the only thoughts he can actually process is that he must be a ghost.
Being taken by a league of killers, lied to and trick and tormented into thing a perfect weapon.
Realise his mentor, who he once thought the father he deserved to have, has failed him and let his killer free because of something as fickle as a moral compass.
Seeing that mentor seemingly replace him with a perfect rich kid who doesn’t swear or complain or sneak off without permission from what he can tell.
Having no real friends in that time.
Having no one to trust because everyone had an ulterior motive. Everyone uses him.
And through out it all, even with all the hate and the bitterness and injustice he had been faced with, his first course of action is to make the home he first had and the only one he will ever have… safer.
To protect the kids like him from becoming statistics and killers, from the pain he felt and the false promises of the Batman.
Jason keeps honesty and integrity, even when no one else offers it to him in return.
Tim can’t understand Macbeth or Antigone or Othello, can’t see why someone would write something so morbid just to try and entertain.
But he can understand, or at least try to understand, Jason Todd.
Because that is someone who had actually been hurt for no reason. Someone who had been tormented by the universe, by fates and coincidence, with no real lesson being taught other than the world hates him.
Sure Jason has Roy and Biz and Artemis and Kori, but what about a brother?
Dick tried, he still does, but he fails Jason over and over by trying to make him ‘better’.
Damian doesn’t really care too much, not out of malice but there’s just not much of a connection between them.
Cass tries, but Jason is always awkward around her and that’s not his fault, you can’t hide a thing from her.
Duke liked Jason a lot, but again, the newest Bat is trying hard to find his place in the world of vigilantes and can’t quite find it in himself to be too close to Jason’s violence.
But Tim…
He’s morals have always been held together by the simple fact of ‘it’s not really that approved of’ and not much else. He won’t kill, but unlike the others he is happy to leave a Rouge in a sinking ship and not feel a hint of guilt.
He adores Jason’s Robin, he knows to some extent how much he lost with that, and now he knows that Jason might not need much more than a few good things.
Small things, nothing that will trick him into thinking the world is apologising because it won’t, but enough to show him that Tim thinks he’s still worth something.
Tim won’t try convince him to become a better person or to stop killing, he might ask him to be a bit more rational and probably won’t be able to stop himself from giving tips on how to run his business, but he wouldn’t ask for his violent brother to change.
Because unlike everyone else, Tim knows that violence exist for good reason.
If it keeps his Jason alive, Tim will gladly hold onto his blood soaked hand.
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rafesbangs · 1 day ago
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hi!!! i was wondering if you could write something based on college!reader and college!rafe, where the reader is the new roomie to rafe's gf, and at some party, she finds rafe cheating on the roomie so she obv tells her and they break up. knowing that the the reader did this to him, he takes revenge on her in the only way he knows. i would like for it to be as noncon/dark as possible but obv if its something you're not comfortable with then pls ignore the req!! thank u <3
hopefully i didn't disappoint !
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req! 𝜗𝜚 noncon with rafe after you snitched on him cheating.
c!w; mdni !! graphic descriptions, noncon so please read at your own discretion, unprotected sex, p in v. notes; i feel like this is veryyy icky s1 rafe had he gone to college. ps if you have any hate toward this, just block me & move on! my blog is not for you!
you had just transferred colleges and that came with a new roomie, the two of you instantly clicked. you were completely inseparable and had basically everything in common, everything but guys. your roommate was dating this jackass that did finance, rafe cameron, and you were always convinced he was cheating on her.
one day, you actually stumbled upon proof to your theory, you snapped a photo of him hooking up with some random girl at a frat party and took off early to show her. she was hesitant to believe you at first, i mean she had been dating him even before you had shown up, but once you pulled out the photo there was no denying it. she cried into your arms that night and broke up with rafe the next morning.
the break up had hit her a little hard unfortunately, she decided to go back home for the rest of the weekend leaving you alone in the dorm, and you didn't mind. you actually kinda liked having the place to yourself, it was peaceful.
it was quite late at night after a relaxing evening of doing absolutely nothing and you decided to put yourself to bed after taking half a strong melatonin gummy. you cozied in, unaware of the storm brewing in a certain guys mind.
rafe was absolutely furious when he'd gotten caught, he could never handle the notion of not getting what he wanted, and being broken up with over the phone with a panging hangover was not something he thought he deserved. he knew it was you, of course it was, the disapproving best friend that was attached to the hip of his now ex? who else would it be? he'd always disliked you. how your perfect lips always parted to sigh at him in disappointment, how he'd mostly seen your face neutral or in a scowl towards him. he was used to having every girl pine over him, so the fact that someone he was so attracted to, despite you being his girlfriend's best friend, not even wanting him in the slightest really ticked him off.
it was well after the middle of the night when he'd had a little too much coke and decided he wanted to take matters into his own hands, get what he deserved and get his revenge.
fine. if he couldn't have your roommate anymore, he'll just take you.
in natural possessive boyfriend fashion, he still had a key to the dorm. he scoffed, a disgustingly proud grin spread across his face when he turned the key and realised it still worked for your shared room. he was quiet when he slipped inside, couldn't have you waking up before he got what he came to claim.
you were sound asleep when he crept over, looming over your unconscious body, his cock sturred in his pants. there you were, perfect and for the taking.
he slowly sat down on the bed, your back was facing him, so he thought even if you woke up now, he'd still have the advantage and the ability to take what's his. he quietly unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, licking his lips as he ran a shaky hand through his greasy hair, the coke buzzing through every inch of his system.
he shuffled himself close enough to you before pealing back your blanket, revealing you sleeping in nothing but a cami and panties. you were practically begging for his aching cock. the position you were sleeping in gave him easy access to your sweet cunt and he grinned as he pealed your panties down then gently traced a finger against your slit. you shuffled only slightly, your poor pussy so sensitive.
he lay up against you, lining himself up before slowly slipping the head in. he was big, there was no denying that fact, he had to bully his cock into your tight pussy even though it was beginning to leak. he hissed as it finally slid to the hilt, he paused, you were still dead asleep. he grinned triumphantly before putting a hand on your hip, the other splayed out on the back of your shoulder for the moment.
he wasn't careful with his movements anymore, just wanting to fuck you in the way he needed to. his pelvis snapping against your ass roughly as his thick cock punctured your small frame. it was only after a few more hard sloppy thrusts that you stirred awake, groggy and confused before you realised what was happening as the feeling of being full dawned on you.
when rafe noticed your eyes flicker open he instantly slapped a big hand over your mouth, holding you right up against him now. somehow this made him enjoy you more, the pure terror in your eyes and the way you were trying to squirm only made him harder.
he grunted as he kept slamming his cock into you easily, a ring of arousal around the base of it as your pussy betrayed you. "fuck, you shouldn've told her about that shit you saw the other night hmm?" he seethed into the shell of your ear, tears began trickling down your face when you realised who it was.
"then again, if you hadn't-" he let out a strained groan, your pussy clamping around him in panic? arousal? he didn't care, "mmmh, we wouldn't be here huh?" you hated him with every fiber of your being and here he was, deep inside your womb.
you sobbed through his hand, your pillow wet from tears and your pussy aching, the way his pelvis kissed your ass with each plap-plap-plap was making you dizzy. dizzy and violently ill. “fuck,” he groaned, and a grin stretched across his evil complexion as his fat tip grazed your g-spot earning a strangled moan from you. you wanted to cover your own mouth, but your body betrayed you to the max, legs now twitching as your cunt clamped tightly around his cock at the unwanted intrusion. he was amused by your discomfort, "you made me do this 'n look at you, so fuckin’ wrecked.”
eventually he'd spilled his grimy thick cum into your pussy as you finished around him, helplessly moaning all the way, pushing out your release and his softening dick. you couldn't move when he finally shuffled back, tucking his satisfied cock back into his pants, you were frozen with his nasty cum spilling out of you. and as he left, he kissed you on the top of your head.
"mm, i always knew you wanted me." a self satisfied smirk oozing from his tone, the dorm door shutting behind him as he disappeared.
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queerdaisyjane · 1 day ago
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oh sweetie, it’s so cute that you want to fuck me and think I’ll unlock you so you can, just because it’s Christmas and we’re on vacation. No sweetie, today is a big day for you. Go put on your sexiest little panties and meet me back here with your buttplug and lube bottle and I’ll tell you more. Excited? You should be. Ok are you ready? Lube your little boipussy first, darling. Get your fingers way deep inside and stretch your little hole open a bit. Now slowly but firmly force your largest butt plug into your sissy anus. Concentrate on how it feels as it stretches the tightest part of your anus, that inner ring. Pause and let it rest there a bit. Oh don’t cry babe; I know it’s hurting you. That’s the fun part for me! It will start to feel good in a minute.
Can you feel it now? How the pleasure will spread through you, radiating out from your tightest part of your anus? Pull the plug out and shove it back in a few times. Imagine it’s a big hard penis attached to a tall, dark, and sexy man. I know that’s what you truly desire, to give yourself completely to a man, to be his gay little sissy princess, his boiwife. Fuck yourself with the plug as you imagine it while I tell you the next part of the secret.
You know I’ve been fucking Marcus all the time we’ve been married. Yes, I know I gaslighted you relentlessly to make you think you were crazy, playing the innocent wifey. But you were right all along—I never stopped fucking my ex, even when we got married. When you came home and I seemed extra wet and excited for your little whiteboi peepee, four inches hard on a good day, it was because you were just fucking his black cum back into me. Couldn’t you smell it down there? His jizz smells so manly and rank to me, but I guess I’ve been trained by him to be super aroused by his scent.
Anyway, his brother Jamal is going to get out of prison soon and needs a place to stay. And Marcus’s lease is up on the apartment too babe. Yes, I told you it was a pied à terre for when i worked late, but really I was just sleeping there with Marcus. Yes, you paid for the very bed I, your lovely wife, fucked him in.
So here’s what I’m thinking. You’re going to sign over everything to me. Yes, every single thing. Then I’m going to divorce you, which you won’t contest, and Marcus will move in here. He will be my man and take your place in my bed. No i’m not marrying him! Do you think I’m an idiot? He’s just somebody to fuck. I’m done with men forever. Jamal will take the guest room and you will start to date him and sleep with him as his girlfriend. What do you think, sissy soon-to-be-ex hubby?
Well I don’t know sweetie, he’s been in prison, so I don’t really know much about him, other than he’s Marcus’ older brother. I know he played pro football for awhile but got busted for spousal abuse and was sentenced to four years away in a maximum security facility. Yes, she had to go to the hospital with multiple injuries but she didn’t die. She refused to press charges so he received a very light sentence, considering what he did to her.
Anyway, he’s had a little sissy whiteboi prison wife these past few years and decided he wanted to continue with one when he got out. Marcus showed me the poor boi’s picture. Jamal got him on HRT and starved him for months until he was the size and shape of a high school cheerleader. Problem solved! You’ll be Jamal’s next project. You can support him and all of us with your straight job earnings and you’ll do double duty when needed with Jamal’s clients, either as a drug mule, or as a tribute whore entertaining his business associates. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants you to start on hormones too, babe. You’ll pay for your own feminization, of course.
Jamal is also part owner in a strip bar and runs an escort service from there, so I’d at least try to act as if I was very happy about the arrangement if you don’t want to work in a brothel for the rest of your short, sad, drug-addled life. Oh sweetie, don’t cry, I’m sure if he’s anything like Marcus, Jamal will have a magnificent penis that he can stuff in your all your holes anytime he wants.
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entitled-fangirl · 3 days ago
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Rumors and the bastards of one Aegon Targaryen II.
Aegon Targaryen II x wife!reader
Summary: Aegon spent his time on the Silk Streets; rumors always spread. When Aemond encourages the truth of one, Aegon's wife is mortified.
Warnings: brothels, alcohol, being drunk, rumors, miscommunication
A/n: I am an Aegon hater BUT listen listen listen- I hated the fighting pit allegations with his "bastard children" that the twins talk about in the show. Do I think he had bastards? YES. Do I think he did all that? NAH. Also- this was supposed to be based on an ask but I may write another one with that ask cause I don't think I did that part justice
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His wife was not a useless woman who spent her time doing deemed "meaningless" tasks like embroidery. She was well studied, and well spoken. She was not pushy. Alicent would never have let a woman control her son like that. But she found easy ways to state her thoughts while still being considerate to her husband. 
A woman like that felt like one of a kind.
Aegon knew that in his mind. Somewhere deep down. 
But he didn't change his habits when she came around. He still spent some of his nights in the streets of King's Landing, causing trouble and problems everywhere he went. 
Everyone knew of Aegon's "night adventures," though none talked of it. It was not something you bring up during a council meeting or spoke of in the corridors.
After a particularly long night out, Aegon rolled over in his bed, covering his eyes as he cringed at the sunlight streaming throughout his room.
This is why he didn't want to be king. Duty awaited him.
He was reminded that with the insistent knock on his door and his servant reminding him of the council meeting only minutes away.
He yawned, groaned with a stretch, and stood to slowly dress himself.
He could take his time, after all. No meeting started without the king.
Now a little more conscious, he entered the council room with a creak of the large doors. It earned the attention of everyone at the table.
Criston sat at the King's right side. The queen dowager was next to him and Aegon's wife after that. Aemond at the end. The table went round with others as well, but none were as connected in the king's life as those four. 
Y/n had always gotten along with Aemond. When Aegon was off sullying the Targaryen name, she spent time with Aemond in the castle's large solar, studying quietly alongside him. Different topics, but the shared silence was comforting.
And Aemond almost felt a guilt when he looked at her. Especially today when her husband entered the council meeting late with a staggered step and a clear look that said 'I did things I shouldn't have last night.'
The council was quiet at first, the awkwardness eating any things they had to talk about.
But once the talk of war started, the two brothers began to argue and the council meeting had truly begun.
The queen stayed quiet, her eyes set on the table, her fingers fidgeting absentmindedly with her stone and its place at the table.
Aegon never really had his arse in his seat. He loved to pace. When the arguing grew to anger, he set his anger on anything that annoyed him, prompting him to once point out his wife's fidgeting. Her cheeks turned red and she forced her hands away from the table.
But soon Aemond stood as well, eager to point out his plan in their map. As he did so, he took the long path around, passing by his brother's wife. In his hand was his own stone, which he set on the table in front of her without even looking her way or slowing his pace. 
It rolled towards the edge of the table and she caught it, silently thanking his support.
He felt like he owed it to her for what he had done yesterday.
"I'll never understand," Aemond muttered, breaking the prolonged silence of their studying.
Her eyes never moved from her page. "Understand what?"
He rolled up the scroll he had focused on and set it aside. "Him. Being so irresponsible."
Their eyes met, and neither had to question who he was speaking of.
"He did not want this," was her soft reply.
"Neither did you. And still you defend him. You did not wish for a man who spends his time with ale and women rather than home and duty."
Her eyes softened as his words hurt her. "I am Queen of the Realm. Me. Anyone would kill for my seat. One woman of the millions here."
"That means nothing." His eye pierced hers deeply. The gaze of Aemond Targaryen, though only half the gaze of a normal person, was double in the way it would see right through you. It made even tough men flinch. He leans over his papers. "He should be here, spending his time with his wife so she may do her duties."
"H- He does," she tries to defend. "Sometimes."
"Right before he passes out from all he's drank." There's no defense for that. He was right. "My queen, it's not that he can't make heirs with you. He just doesn't with you."
"What?"
His eye darkens. "How do you fancy an adventure down the Silk Streets of King's Landing?"
The meeting was over with the wave of Aegon's hand, thank the gods, and they all stood to leave.
"Except you, brother. You'll stay."
Y/n takes her time leaving, seeing both brothers' eyes roam over her for a moment before she left them to talk.
She sat by the fire. Since she had lived here, the servants had all begged her to sit in chairs or sofas near the fire rather than on the hard floor directly in front of it, but none held the same feeling that she desired.
She always had a cloak or fur of some sort on the floor, a small nest of sorts always awaiting for her to come back to the flames.
She had asked for a needle and thread, struggling to embroider on one of her skirts as she tried to relieve stress. But she'd never really done so before and it looked messy and her hands were too gruff with it.
Aegon entered after a few minutes. He didn't knock. He never did.
His eyes took in the room slowly until they settled on her. He tilted his head and stepped further into the room until he could feel the heat of the fire. "Aemond doesn't know what he speaks of."
"Aemond only told me the truth. I don't see why you have to lie."
He shifts his weight. "I-I told him to stop meddling in your affairs. He's far too close."
She turns her head but doesn't look over her shoulder. "He's been kinder than… most."
That hurt Aegon more than he wanted to admit. "What did he show you? What did you see?"
She begins to sew faster, as if it's a quick sport. "Does it matter? You're the king. Your affairs are none of my bu-"
"-I want you to speak to me," he said with a desperate tone. "How can I keep a kingdom together if I cannot even communicate with my wife?"
"How many?"
His head tilted again in confusion. "How many what?"
She turned her body this time, pausing her efforts on the fabric to look at him. "How many of your bastards run around King's Landing?"
Silence.
This was not a comforting silence like the solar with Aemond. 
This was a silence that suffocated you.
Aegon tore his gaze from her face in embarrassment to look down at his shoes. Like they needed his attention over the woman in front of him.
She tried again. "How many, Aegon?" Her voice quivered with his name and it send sharp spikes down his spine.
When he dared to look back up at her, he saw unshed tears pooling in her eyes.
"I-" he stopped himself. What answer did she want? What answer did he even want? "I don't see how that's relevant."
His deflection forced a sob out of her. It was light and painful, a slow withering of her from the inside out. 
Aegon deemed himself useless when it came to tears.
His jaw went slack for a moment, his eyes just watching in slow motion as his stomach jolted. He blinked and shift his weight again. "I…. I d- stop doing that."
It was a ridiculous ask. They both knew that. But she turned away from him as if keeping it from his sight was enough. 
He watched her shoulders shake with each weep as her fingers tried to pull the needle through the fabric. He closed the distance more, now daring to kneel at her side. He had no idea how to comfort a situation like this. "You have never liked needlepoint," he softly pointed out.
It was a long while before she answered. Sniffle. "I have never liked you either. Yet here I am with both."
That forces him back to rock on his heels. She was quick and had a sharp tongue. It was thoroughly impressive- when it wasn't painful like this.
The only sounds that echoed in the room were her sniffles and the occasional clicks and pops of the fire in front of them. And her tugging of the thread through the fabric.
Finally, he spoke.
"Two."
Her fingers paused. "What?"
"I've fathered two bastards."
Her head snaps back to him, but he makes no hurry to look at her. The flames dance in his eyes as he stares off. 
"Only two?"
Aegon finally lulled his head to look at her. "Two."
"You sound sure."
"I am sure. I'm very sure." He reached up, wiping away a stray tear off her cheek. Once gone, he returned his hand to his lap, pulling at the skin around his nails.
"There are rumors about your bastards…a… at the fighting pit-"
"-Who told you those?" He said in annoyance.
She hesitated. "There were so many of them there. They had your hair."
"Most bastards here do. Does not make them mine." He sighed. "Do you ever think that perhaps I'm not the only Targaryen that has roamed the Silk Streets at night?"
"You're saying-"
"-I'm saying that they could be Daemon's. They could be my father's. They could be his father's, or his father after him. But they're not mine." His kind eyes set on her. "I won't be blamed for all of King Landing's problems. Only the ones I cause."
She set the needlepoint aside and rubbed her hands over her face. "I just wished…"
Aegon waited patiently for what she would say.
"I just wish you would spend more of your energy here. With me. You're forcing me to neglect my duty." She ran a hand through her hair. "I cannot take your mother's insistence again. She's relentless."
He sighed again. He loved to drink, and that usually ended with him stumbling into the brothel with the help of his friends. That was his release from this prison they all called 'duty.' But perhaps there could be silver linings in all of it.
He couldn't say no when he never gave her a decent try.
"Fine. I'll… hold back on the drinking. And the… the late nights. If it guarantees your happiness. I want to make you happy." It would be hard. No, it would be like torture to not drink as often, to not spent hours forgetting life and having to return to it with a headache a few hours later.
But she deserved a decent try from him.
"Thank you. And when I am with child, we can… assess it all once again." She tucked a stray hand of his hair behind his ear. "Thank you. Truly," she added again.
"Of course," he smiled sheepishly. "Just promise me to never assume the trust of the rumors of King's landing. Just ask me. I've done awful things, but I'll admit them to you at least."
For once, she smiled. "That's easy enough. I never should have gone with Aemond last night."
"From now on, the streets will see little of their King and Queen," Aegon smiled back. With a hesitant stretch and groan, he stood. "I have petitions soon. Perhaps you'll wait for my return?"
She pushed herself up to stand, taking Aegon's hand when he immediately offered it. "Of course. But not here. I'll be in the solar."
His brows furrowed. "What's wrong with here?"
"If I have to pull that needle through fabric one more time, I will stab it in my eye." She said it with no emotion, and it caused a bright laugh to pull from Aegon's chest. 
She was witty.
Finally, she broke into a breathy laugh and moved to collect her things for studying.
He followed her for a moment, curious to see what she had before he left.
"In the least, Aegon," she spoke over her shoulder. "Think of the money you'll save when you're away from it all. Whores and drinks are expensive, I'd wager."
His voice was low in her ear as he stood next to her. "Darling, when you're King, they all beg to buy a drink for you. I haven't bought myself a drink in almost a year."
She shivered at his proximity and she spared him a glance- almost one of offense. "Then you spend it all on women?"
He shook his head as if it was a dumb thought. It was true that he spent a lot on the streets. But now that he considered it, no one had ever really asked where it went. The crown just provided it and that was that.
"Then where-"
He put a finger over her mouth. "There are two children with no father to provide for them." He tilted his head side to side, "Perhaps their mothers find themselves with… extra money from a donor of sorts."
Her eyes widened. And just as she opened her mouth to ask more, he walked away, leaving her to her thoughts.
How wrong she had been about King Aegon Targaryen II
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mixingandmelting · 2 days ago
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Winter Series Day 6: Teenage Crush
Summary: how he's in love with you featuring the original Robin trio
A/N: was i emotional when i wrote this? yes, no thanks to remembering jason was the sweetest and cheerful robin at the height of 4' 6" in-canon
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Robin!Dick:
Daredevil, gremlin child, and the nightmare of all of Gotham’s villains was what Robin!Dick was known for. But at the end of the day, he’s just a boy that’s completely gone for you. He can’t and doesn’t let you catch a break as he constantly pokes you from starting the silliest arguments to putting on a show of his routines he used to do back in his family’s circus. Not once does he approach you like a normal person. One day he’d be creeping silently behind you, suddenly asking what you’re doing right into your ear while peering over your shoulder. The next, he would simply stand in front of you and wait for you to notice. He pouts when it seems like it’s taking you too long, though he does appreciate getting the time to engrave your form and the other expressions you make when he’s not annoying you. All of this, he does constantly, almost every other day in fact, because in his mind and heart, you are the best thing to ever enter and be in his life. It amplifies his haughtiness, silliness, goofiness, and sass as he does everything in hopes that he could strike a chance with you. So when he comes back from a long mission and you express any indiction of concern and how you missed him, his smile stretches from ear to ear, his heart fluttering from how you care for him. Of course he would probe to hear more, his desire of wanting to hear your thoughts on him but he still manages to stop himself from overdoing it. During the times when you pull an uno-reverse card on him unexpectedly, he gets extremely flustered and flushed from his “impress to woo the other person over” backfiring big time and instead, he’s falling for you all over again.
Robin!Jason:
Despite his height, he’s considered the cheerful and bright one as he steals the hearts of the Titans after a single mission, and makes Batman of all people laugh. Have you in the room and  he lights the whole place from how much he glows. Before heading to you, he sniffs his uniform to make sure it doesn’t smell like cigarettes. If it has the faintest scent of it, he goes back to the cave to change into a new one, doing so even more after learning how second-hand smoking can cause cancer. At some point he gets fed up with sniffing and changing so many times, he starts going through all the tricks to quit smoking even faster. Time to time, he brings something small, making excuses including the classic “saved an old lady crossing the road” on his way as a rose gets placed into your hands. He’s notably chattier and laughing more around you, enjoying whatever the two of you talk about even if it’s mundane and boring. He can’t help it when your passion, laughter, excitement, and smiles are infectious. His love for you is so pure that he’d be satisfied with simply being by your side, his one wish being that he can bring you as much happiness as you do for him. Time to time when you get a burger combo meal, seemingly to believe that’s his favorite based on the one time he mentioned about his memory with it whether it’s to welcome him back from a long while or randomly he gets fuzzy, warm, and the heart palpitations while he shares the meal with you. You make him feel that his life is complete, that he won the whole world which motivates him to become a better person, a “good guy” as they all say, so he can stay with you even if he ends up not being your end game.
Robin!Tim:
He’s known as the smart one as well as the one that sacrificed his chance of normal for the sake of saving Batman and currently, Gotham. You were never part of his plan as he already envisioned how his life as Batman's sidekick would look like but here he is, completely smitten for you as he figures out ahead how to approach you when he catches you hanging out. Image training, standing in front of the mirror and going through his lines and poses until Alfred caught him doing it once. Now he does it after locking his door, double, triple checking he was going to get his little gig right so he can look cool when he appears in front of you. Take the “yapper and listener” meme. That’s his relationship with you where he’s serenaded by your voice and won’t ever get sick of listening to it. If you were to express anything you need or want, he gets it and leaves it where he was standing or sitting with a small note attached. He’s also guilty of abusing his alternative identities and disguises so he could extend his time with you even outside of being Robin. Not that you would ever know as he has no intentions any time soon to out himself. There’s no other reason for him being this extra other than that you are the one that gives him the comfort and relief he needs. You are his solace that makes his self doubt disappear and everything he has done worth it. So when you do any skin ship including the scandalous hand holding, he’s equivalent to the red on his suit and mute from how conscious he gets from feeling you extremely close to him. Also gets him to forget to breathe but that’s not the issue here.
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lunajay33 · 2 days ago
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My Princess
•🪽🦇💙•
Summary: You are Feyres sister and have always been shy but when everything happens and you and your sisters become Fae, you find yourself falling in love with the mysterious shadow brother
Pairing: Azriel x Feyres sister
Content: Sneaking around, fluff, smut, getting caught
•Masterlist•
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I never thought much about how my life would turn out, living in a run down home with my three sisters and father gave me no hope for what could come, I thought I would die young of either illness or starvation, I always tried to help Feyre when I could just to help and get away from Nesta and Elain, they never liked me much, I am I second youngest and they liked to point out every flaw of mine
But then one day everything changed when we were kidnapped and thrown into a cauldron changing out forms, from human to far, Nesta took an immense amount of power, Elain could feel the future and me, well I haven’t shown anyone what I’ve discovered, I can morphe into the shadows, dissapear whenever I want, it came in hand when Nesta would get in one of her fits with who ever dared step up to her
But then one night as I was slipping into the shadows I met the most adorable little tendrils of shadow that seemed were alive, they were all over me swirling around with what I assumed was joy as they led me to Azriel, he was quiet like me and I found comfort in that silence but never had the never to approach him until the shadows brought me right into his room, as I’m in the shadow of his book shelf
Noticing him straighten up and peer around as his shadows spoke to him
“I know you’re here” my heart leapt, I shifted back into my fae solid form and stood before him nervously
“So you are gifted after all” he stood infront of me, shirtless showing his broad shoulders and ripped body
“Ummm yeah, please don’t tell the others”
“And why not?” I shrugged unsure of why I had to explain my reasonings only making him smirk
“You’re not like your sisters, you’re…….different”
“Different bad?”
“No different good, you’re intriguing and mysterious, you don’t put everyone out there”
From that day forward we kept our nightly meetings between eachother and it was sooooo easy, sneaking through the shadows right to his room, we started just talking and getting to know eachother but along the way I fell for him, how could I not he’s so beautiful inside and out and one night when all the others were busy getting drunk at a bar I felt my soul meld with his and his mine
That night we accepted the bond and we haven’t been able to stop, it’s been a week and our hunger for eachother hasn’t been quenched and it’s getting harder to hide this relationship
“Do you think we should tell the others?” I ask him as we catch our breathes, my head resting in his shoulder, his hand dragging up and down my back
“If that’s what you want my angel, but I can’t say sneaking around doesn’t make things more hot” he smirks as he grips my hip
“Maybe just a little longer” I giggle as I turn and straddle his legs laying forward on his chest
“Ready for more already?” His voice got deeper sending shivers down my spine
“Are you able to” I love to tease him knowing he has taken me multiple times in one night
“Please woman” he grabs my hips and grinds them up and down his hardening dick, I’ve heard about the girls talking about the comparison between wingspans but there is absolutely no way Rhys or Cassian could be bigger than my man, he nearly splits me apart
“I love you Azriel” I moan as he slowly stretches me out
“Not as much as I love you Angel, fuck you feel so good” at this angle he was just hitting every part just right it was impossible to keep quiet
“Oh god more I want more” I scream when he thrusts up into me faster and faster
“OH AZRIEL YES RIGHT THERE” I scream not even caring right now who here’s
“So good, mother above I’ll never get enough of you” right as I’m about to be in heaven the door bursts open and everyone in the group is standing there wide eyed and mouths hanging
“Ummmm what the hell is going on” Nesta shouts anger written all over her face
Azriel sits up and holds me closer covering my body
“Can we have a moment to get decent” he groans his shadows pushing the others out and slamming the door
“I’m nervous, did you see the way Nesta and Elain were looking at me?” He pulled out and helped put his shirt on me as he pulled on his own sweatpants
“Don’t worry it’ll be fine come on!” He took my hand and led me downstairs to where everyone was sat around in the living room
“Congrats brother!” Cassian congratulated Azriel patting him on the back
“How long has this been going on?” Feyre asks with a little smile as she sat next to Rhys
“Well we’ve been talking for a while at night but then last week our mating bond happened and we accepted immediately” I say holding his hand tighter
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rhys asked
“Obviously she knows she’s not good enough to be with him I mean look at her” Nesta laughed, I hung my head low before Azriel pulled me in at the waist
“Watch your mouth, don’t think I can’t destroy your life just because you’re the high ladies sister
“She’s not wrong” Elain whispered but we all heard
“That’s enough they had their reasons and it’s their relationship, Nesta and Elain you need to leave her alone I’ve had enough of you two always bashing on her just because you know she’s better than you, I’m happy for you sister” Feyre smiles
“You can go to the family cabin if you wish while still in your mating faze” Rhys adds looking happy for his brother the next instant in standing in the cabin Azriel holding me tight from behind
“You know they’re not right, your as pretty as the stars” he says placing kisses up my neck
“Thank you Az, now how about we get back to what we started”
“Don’t have to ask me twice”
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woso-story · 1 day ago
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2 Much
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Based on the song '2 Much' by Justin Bieber
Alexia lay on her side, propped up on one elbow, staring at you beside her. The room was dimly lit, the soft glow of the early morning sun sneaking through the curtains, casting a golden hue over your sleeping face. Your hair was tousled across the pillow, your chest rising and falling in steady rhythm, completely at peace. Alexia’s heart swelled, and she couldn’t help but smile. How could someone so perfect be lying here, in her bed, in her life?
She reached out and gently brushed a stray lock of hair from your face, careful not to wake you. Her fingers lingered for a moment, grazing the soft skin of your cheek. She often found herself wondering how she got so lucky, but mornings like this hit her harder than usual. Watching you sleep, so unguarded and serene, felt like a privilege—a glimpse into the purest part of you.
Alexia’s mind drifted, unbidden, to one of her favorite memories. You were out with her teammates, laughter and music filling the air, the kind of night that felt infinite. You had been on the dance floor, hair down, moving with an ease and freedom that seemed to defy the chaos around you. Alexia had been rooted to the spot, utterly mesmerized. She’d forgotten to blink, let alone breathe, because in that moment, she knew: This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be.
Her heart raced just thinking about it, even now. The way you lived your life—with so much love, so much care—astounded her. Whether it was your family, your friends, or the weight of your demanding schedules, you somehow carried it all with grace. Yet, you always made time for her. It was as if you had a way of stopping the world, just for her, even when it felt like it was spinning out of control.
Alexia looked at you again, taking in the delicate curve of your jawline, the slight upward twitch of your lips, even in sleep. She thought about the first time you met—really met—and how she didn’t realize at the time she was meeting the biggest blessing of her life. All those nights spent praying for a love like this, and now here you were. God really had done something extraordinary.
She thought about how often she told you, “I love you,” over and over again, probably too much for you to fully process. But she couldn’t help it. Every time she said it, it felt like the first time, and it was never enough to capture how she truly felt. Every syllable of your name was music to her ears, a melody she could play on repeat forever.
And those nights—those quiet, intimate nights—when your head was resting on her chest, the sun already peeking over the horizon. Alexia could never bring herself to sleep. She didn’t want to miss a single second of this—of you. She would rather fall in love over and over again than waste even a moment in unconsciousness. When you weren’t near, it felt like something essential had been taken from her, as though two seconds apart stretched into two unbearable months.
She sighed softly, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss to your temple. Even eternity wouldn’t be enough, she realized. If she had every day, every hour, every second with you, it still wouldn’t feel like enough time to show you how much you were loved.
You stirred slightly at the touch, your lips parting as you let out a small sigh but didn’t wake. Alexia smiled, her heart aching in the best way. I don’t want to miss this, she thought, letting her fingers trace invisible patterns on the sheets. I don’t want to miss a single moment of loving you.
Alexia settled back down, her head close to yours, her eyes never leaving your face. She whispered into the stillness of the room, words just for you:
“You are my everything.”
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highvern · 9 hours ago
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Nights Like These
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
Genre: fluff, neighbor!au, Nightwing! mingyu based off this, bartender reader
warnings: very dumb people (mingyu x reader), suggestive but no explicit smut
Length: ~2k
Note: merry gyumas!!!!! this is revenge for spider woo from @gyuswhore if you hate it, it's bc i wrote it in like 3 hours. thank u @the-boy-meets-evil i will be enacting my revenge on you soon. MWAH!
summary: On nights when you close the bar late, a friendly hero always happens to be around to walk you home and share his woes about the crush on his neighbor.
m.list
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
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With the rain pounding down in thick sheets, you rush home. On nights like these, when you're the last one out of the bar, completely alone, are always the worst. The bus doesn’t run this late but at least you’re only a few blocks from your apartment. A ten minute run if you don’t stop.
The rain abruptly halts. Not that you’re lucky enough for the storm to pass but because someone falls into step beside you. “Need an umbrella?”
You don’t even need to look to know who it is. He always shows up when you have the closing shift. The man who runs around the city in a spandex suit and calls himself Nightwing. 
The first time, some creep had been trailing you from a distance. Thankfully, most of the businesses on the way back to your apartment stayed open later, the nice apartments have doormen so you could run into one at a moment's notice. But as soon as you noticed the weight of a gaze on your back it vanished with a short scuffle. When you turned to find the source of noise, Nightwing stood guard as the creep spirited away.
From that night on, if you got off after midnight, he was there to escort you home. 
The first few times he followed from a distance. A couple yards, then ten feet and then one night you waited for him to walk beside you like a normal person. Most nights you were too exhausted to make conversation but he kept you both entertained, asking easy questions or staying silent if you were particularly irritated. But usually, on those nights you felt his eyes on you from one of the alleys you passed, or from the rooftops. He gave you space but kept you safe. Even when you insisted there were far better things for him to do in a city that never sleeped. People who needed him more. But Nightwing shook you off each time.
“This storm came out of nowhere,” you say, huddling closer. He’s big, taking up most of the space by default. You try not to touch him but the heat of his body is pleasant considering your soaked clothes, chilled straight to the bone.
“Yeah, downtown is already flooded.”
“Already walked all the other girls home there?”
“Ha-ha,” he huffs. “I actually work in an office there.”
Oh. In all the nights he’s chaperoned you home, he’s been careful not to reveal too much about himself but some things naturally slip out. He wants a dog but is never home enough to take care of it. One of his friends burnt a fish in his apartment and wasn’t allowed to come back. He tried reading some of the books you talked about but wasn’t a big reader. This is the first time he’s offered information so personal.
“So even superheroes have day jobs?”
“Gotta pay rent somehow.”
“Maybe take up being a security guard. Or Uber but walking women home late at night.”
“Nah,” he smiles, a flash of white teeth between pink lips. “I do that for free. Part of the job.”
You hum in acknowledgement. Sometimes you think maybe he likes walking with you. But as he said, it’s a part of his job. His civic responsibilities to protect the street from creeps and weirdos. Besides, the only other personal information you know about him is the fat crush he has on the girl in the apartment next to him.
“How's your neighbor?” you ask.
“She’s okay. Still acts like I don’t exist.”
“I doubt that’s true.”
“You said she’d like it if I gave her something I cooked, I did.”
“And?”
“Nothing.”
“Damn.”
You think of your own neighbor and how grateful you are that he does something similar. Mingyu was overall, a great neighbor. Grabbed your packages from the mailroom and left them on your doormat when he could, shared food if he made too much which was frequently, and managed to keep his rowdy friends quiet when they were over. But you typically only spoke to him in passing. Strictly neighborly. How are you? They didn’t pick up the trash today? Can I borrow some salt? By the way, I made an entire pot of spaghetti and I cannot eat it alone. Want some?
Recently he offered more and more. A blessing really because by the time you got off work you were too exhausted to cook and too broke to justify paying for the fees for delivery. Everytime he offered you food though you weren’t sure what to do with the tupperware. He was rarely home when you were; conflicting schedules. Last time he brought you the extra brownies from his office party. The tote bag full of clean containers sat next to your door for whenever you saw him but lately he’d been MIA. 
Maybe Nightwing’s neighbor felt the same way. If he had a job and ran around town at all hours it was unlikely there was a good time for them to talk.
“Have you tried asking her out?”
“Yes.”
“And?” Your shoulder brushes his arm but you ignore the contact. Not like you can feel much with the numbness from the freezing rain.
“No luck.”
“Maybe she’s shy.”
He levels you with a look meaning that clearly isn’t the problem. For a second you wonder what he looks like without the mask. The tiny scrap of blue, black, and white obscuring so much. Obviously, he’s handsome. Maybe she’s a little intimidated. You would be. Even if his neighbor didn’t know who he really was, he had an aura around him. 
And even if he wore baggy clothes, they wouldn’t hide his physique or height.
But you can’t dwell on those thoughts because then you think of your neighbor who is also tall and muscular, and somehow reminds you of a golden retriever.
“Well, you seem normal enough. Even though you wear a weird amount of spandex for a grown man.”
He laughs, the edges of the umbrella shaking with him and exposing you back to the elements but you don’t mind. The sound is rich and warm, forcing the chill away. “What is a normal amount of spandex?”
“Probably zero,” you joke. “Maybe you should just ask her out. Honesty is the best policy or whatever.”
“Or whatever. I’ll remember that.”
“Well,” you sigh. The front of your apartment is in view. Nightwing will wait until you’re inside to leave, tucked safely behind the glass door and up the stairs out of sight. He hands you the umbrella for the last fifteen feet he always refuses to accompany you, and disappears out of sight.
You don’t tell anyone who walks you home at night. It’s a nice little secret between you and the city’s hero. But sometimes you wished you could. If only to explain how confusing it is that Nightwing reminds you of Mingyu. A bizarre thought. Mingyu is an architect and hardly has the time for a pet, let alone to save the city every night. You leave the thought at the threshold of the stairwell.
The trek upstairs takes longer than you’d like. Five flights of stairs down is a lot easier than five flights up and with your limbs just now warming up, it's a process to rally enough energy to climb even the first few. Good thing is with it being so late, you aren’t at risk of holding up a line to the top. 
By the time you reach the third floor, the sensation returns to your extremities. By the fifth, the only thought in your head is a shower and the cozy warmth of your bed. 
As you reach the final steps, shuffling like a zombie, the universe decides your night isn’t over yet.
Your neighbor, hair washed from a shower, white shirt and pajama pants wrapped around his figure, emerges from the opposite staircase, where the trash chute is. Maybe you have a crush on Mingyu but half the building does too. He’s a good neighbor, he’s nice, and he’s handsome. 
Okay, maybe it’s a big crush and you can’t figure out if he’s just nice or if all the nice things he does mean a little bit more. You should probably ask Nightwing what he thinks the next time he walks you home. He’s a guy, he’d know.
But right now, Mingyu gets to see your best impression of a drowned rat.
Lovely.
“Hey,” he says. His door is at the top of the stairs you just climbed, and yours at the top of the stairs he just climbed. When you pass by, you can’t help but get a whiff of his body wash. Cedar, citrus, and soap mingling pleasantly. 
You grunt in response. “Hey, Mingyu.”
“Late night?”
“Something like that.”
You both stand in the hallway, waiting for something else to say but nothing comes up. Somewhere below a door slams and the patter of feet echoes through the stairwell.
Mingyu turns away first. “Well, good night.”
“Wait!” you call, cringing at the harsh reverb of your voice.
He whips around, eyes wide, cheeks rosy. Like a little kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar.
“I have your containers! I’ve been meaning to give them back.”
“Oh.” He deflates slightly but you pay no mind. 
You shove the metal of your apartment door open and rummage through your kitchen for the tote full of plastic containers. When you exit, Mingyu is waiting on your doormat, hands in his pockets.
Racking your brain for something – anything – to say, you blurt. “Um, the brownies you made were great.”
That pleases him. Behind the thick rim of his glasses his eyes soften, cheeks lifting from a shy smile. “Thanks. It’s my mom’s recipe.”
“That’s nice.”
Neither of you move. Content rather than awkward. At your back, the rain pounds against the windows, thunder clapping, an occasional streak of lighting. A dull lullaby.
“Hey,” he starts. “Would you ever wanna hangout? Like a date?”
You couldn’t have heard that right. 
“A date?” you parrot.
“Or not! It doesn’t have to be a date if you’re not interested or…”
“A date sounds nice,” you grin, cheeks bursting. “What are you doing in thirty minutes?”
“Watching Survivor.”
“I’ll bring the popcorn. I just need to shower really quick.”
Mingyu blinks like he can’t believe any of it. Like you agreeing to hangout with him was never an actual option or that this entire thing is a fever dream. It’s cute. 
“Ugh—” he swallows. “Yeah! Okay. Just…knock wherever!”
Tucked away in the steam of the shower, you scrub and shave and scrub again. Feeling a little more human with each minute. You don’t bother with make up or anything fancy. Mingyu asked you out with mascara running down your cheeks in the hideous shirt the bar makes you wear. The bar is incredibly low. 
Settling on some sweats and a hoodie, you make the trip down the hall to 6F and knock just like Mingyu said. You sit a safe distance away on the couch but like two magnets you and Mingyu draw closer and closer until his arm is over your shoulder with a pretend stretch and you’re nodding off against his chest.
At some point, you both move to his bed. Or Mingyu asks and carries you across his apartment when you nod. His bed sounds like a great idea. The storm clears by the time you wake up. The first thing you do when Mingyu blinks awake, arm curled around your back like you considered leaving, is leave a gentle kiss on his jaw. 
You give him a better one as a thank you for coffee, and another when he makes pancakes. He lifts you onto the counter, taking place between your knees as thanks for the perfect whip cream smiley face decorating said pancakes. 
Next time you see your spandex clad friend, you’ll have to let him know honesty really is the best policy.
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sweetdispatch · 23 hours ago
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We need to talk - Q. Hughes
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part 1
pairing: Quinn Hughes x girlfriend!reader
summary: Quinn and his girlfriend have a heart to heart conversation about what happened in the past two days
warning: mentions of sex (nothing graphic), swear words
words: 1.2k
note: continuation to the "The card", thank you for request and pushing me to make second part!
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When you woke up, Quinn wasn’t by your side, which was unusual because he loved to cuddle you in the morning, especially when he had a free day and didn't have to rush on training. You were laying in bed thinking about the past two days. You and Quinn had an argument. He used the card. You said a safeword. You two promised to talk about it in the morning.
You groaned at the thought of having a confrontation with Quinn. The last thing you wanted was to talk with him about it. You felt embarrassed that this stupid argument had a domino effect and now, you had to explain yourself. You started to wonder if there was even a point of giving him a cold shoulder. It was, you had full right to do it. 
After 30 minutes, you decided to start the day and have the conversation behind you. You couldn’t be mad at Quinn forever. He deserved to hear your point of view and why it hurt you that much. You went into a closet to pick clothes for today and went into a bathroom. You stood in the shower longer than always, trying to collect all your thoughts of what you were planning to say to him. 
You stepped out from the bathroom and took a deep breath before you left the bedroom. There was no turning back now. Immediately you went into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of mint tea. You tried to cut the coffee and you were drinking tea every morning. To your surprise, you saw an already prepared drink on the kitchen island in your favorite mug.
“I heard you going into the bathroom so I made you a tea so you don’t have to wait until it’s ready” You heard Quinn’ words and turned to see him sitting on the couch and reading a book.
“Thank you” You grabbed the cup and took a first sip.
“Also, I bought your favorite donuts. You have them on a plate next to the sink” You looked there and saw three chocolate donuts.
“You didn’t have to go to the bakery and buy them. I would eat something from the fridge” 
“But I wanted” He shrugged. 
You took the plate and mug and sat next to him on the couch. You started scrolling your phone while eating to occupy your mind. You wanted to turn on the tv and watch your tv show but you were too scared. The atmosphere in the living room was tense and the last thing you needed was another argument.
“You can turn on the tv. I don’t mind and you know it” Quinn said, not even bothering to look at you from the book he was reading. 
“It’s fine. I’m almost done” You replied.
After 5 minutes, you finished your breakfast and went to wash your plate and mug. You were doing this longer than always. Everything not to start the conversation about what happened between you in these past two days. You turned off the water and took a deep breath. Quinn finished a chapter and put his book back on the coffee table. 
“I think we need to talk about what happened” He started.
“Yeah, we need to” You replied and sat again on the couch trying to keep your distance. 
There was a silence between you two. None of you wanted to start this unpleasant conversation. 
“I think we should start from the beginning” Quinn took a deep breath. “Why were you so mad after the argument?” 
“Are you serious?” You looked at him and you saw that he didn’t have a single clue. “You said that I’m not doing anything. I get it, you might not see it but I’m cleaning the whole apartment. I’m cooking for you. I’m always washing your suits. I’m doing everything for you to make your life easier so you don’t have to do it and focus on hockey” 
“I never asked you for that” He replied.
“I know, but I’m your girlfriend and I want you to have everything done so you can rest after games” You fought back.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I understand why you got mad but I never asked you for that. Although I really appreciate it. I never saw you doing this and I took everything for granted. It was wrong from my side and I’m truly sorry” Quinn grabbed your hand. “I’m really sorry, I just… I don’t even know what I was thinking when I said it. As I’m thinking now, you’re doing everything here. Sorry for saying that”
“Thanks for saying this but it would be nice if you would start noticing it. It really hurt me when you accused me of not doing anything” You squeezed his hand. 
“I will. I promise to be a better boyfriend and be grateful for the things you are doing. I guess… No, no excuses. What I said was wrong and I need to be better for you. You deserve the world” He brought your hand and placed a kiss on top of it.
“Okay, we sorted things out, it’s time to do something different” You tried to stand up but Quinn stopped you.
“We have to talk about what happened yesterday when we had sex. I know you don’t want to but I need to know for the future” 
“Quinn, drop it. It’s embarrassing” You covered your face in your hands.
“It’s not. We have the word to use it. I just want to know what I did wrong to push you to say it” He gently grabbed your wrists to look at your face. “Please”
“It was too much. I felt overstimulated and overwhelmed by your actions. I needed to cum really badly but at the same time I was too fucked and I said it so you could stop. I’m sorry for this” You said and looked at your legs. Quinn placed his fingers under your chin and you were forced to look at him. 
“Don’t apologise. You had full right to say it. I should be the one to apologise for pushing you too much” 
“I like when you’re rough and dominant but I guess orgasm denial is not my thing” You joked and heard him laughing.
“I’ll remember for the next time. I’m really sorry for the past two days. I was terrible for you” He admitted. 
“Stop it. It was just a misunderstanding between us and things like this happened. Glad we could sort things out” You smiled. 
“Are we alright?” Quinn asked you.
“We are alright” You leaned and pecked his lips. “How about staying on the couch all day and just enjoying the moment of peace?” You proposed.
“I’m up for it” He kissed you again. 
Quinn laid on the couch and pulled you closer to him so could place your head on his chest. You were listening to his heartbeat while he was scrolling through Netflix to find a movie to watch. You two laid in comfortable silence while a movie was played in the background. From time to time, Quinn was placing kisses on top of your head. You were glad that you two were back on the right track. 
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megamindsecretlair · 2 days ago
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Sweet Escape, Part 3
Pairing: Bodyguard!Terry Richmond x Singer!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, trying out some angst, teasing, mentions of loneliness, mental health, power imbalance. Mentions of violence, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some.
Summary: You are on top of the world as one of the world’s most popular R&B singers. But behind the glitz and glam, you were unmoored, lonely, and aching for something you couldn’t put a name to. Finally landing in LA, your boots hit the ground and you’re off in a whirlwind of getting prepared. During rehearsal, your agent shows up causing a ruckus. After you take a break, you wake up to the sound of desperate pounding on your door.
Word Count: 6,676k
AO3 Link | Part 1 | Part 2
A/N: WHEW. Sorry for my absence yall. My brain got hands. And I didn't mean to scare folks away! You can absolutely ask about my fics! Asking for an update just doesn't help. But sharing your love for it motivates me a lot faster! And you can thank @onherereading for gently bullying me to post sumn! LOL, love you. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.
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Male dancers lifted you into the air and you continued singing the hook to your most popular song, “Eat It”. It stayed on the charts, week after week, remaining strong and steady. And it was the song that most got you in trouble for the explicit lyrics. 
You sang, testing the sound as well as the choreography on stage. Coming to LA had been a non-stop shit show of rehearsals and talk shows and radio interviews. God, you were tired. And you wanted to lay down and pig out in front of the TV. But nooooo.
Plus…well….you weren’t feeling particularly sexy at the moment. Terry rejecting you the other night shook you up more than you cared to admit. Why would he reject you? You were beautiful, smart, and funny on a great day. And yet, nothing.
There were just lingering glances and moments where it looked like he wanted to say something but never did. You didn’t like the cold front you suddenly found yourself in so you kept yourself busy, distracted, and left no room for you to be left alone with him for longer than a minute or two. 
But the hit to your confidence bruised. You didn’t feel normal. Like none of this was real. It was a cruel illusion that could be snatched away from one viral tweet, one public meltdown, or one scandal to torpedo your career. The stalker ate away at your life until you couldn’t even get a guy to fuck you stupid. 
It was embarrassing. It was stupid. He was stupid. 
“Stop! Stop! What the fuck is that?” A booming, obnoxious voice echoed in the empty stadium. 
“Down boys,” you said. The male dancers moved safely, bringing you back down to stand on your own two feet. One of their hands lingered a fraction too long, but you didn’t know if you were being paranoid or not. 
Jake, your stupid agent, came huffing down the front area aisle, a skinny tie swinging behind him. “What the fuck is that? What are you doing?” Jake demanded. He stomped onto the stage and approached you.
“Lower your fucking tone, I’m not a child,” you said. You sneered at him and then crossed the stage, taking the three steps down to the backstage area. You refused to be chewed out in front of your team.
Jake stomped angrily behind you. Terry leaned against the wall near the exit but when he saw you approach, he straightened up. You looked away from him quickly, not wanting him to see what must be written all over your face whenever you looked at him. 
“Who do you think you are?” You asked, pulling on that bitchy persona. 
“The man making sure that fat ass stays rolling in money. You are selling a fantasy up there. Every guy needs to feel like he’s fucking you and every woman needs to feel like they want to be you,” he said.
“Really, tell me more about the job I’ve been doing for years,” you said.
“Thanks to me, sweetheart. Don’t you fucking forget that,” Jake spat, pointing his finger in your face. Ugh. You smacked his finger away and crossed your arms. Jake was back on that shit. His neck and face was flushed cherry red, his eyes were glossy, and he sniffed every two seconds like he smelled something bad. 
“You can’t stay sober for two fucking seconds, Jake. Is that what happened at the club?” That would explain the bullshit he pulled.
“Hey. You’re fucking welcome. That free publicity gained you a million more followers and featured on Spotify. Who takes care of you?” Jake asked, spreading his arms wide. 
You were so disgusted, you didn’t know what to do with him. Ugh. You breathed through your nostrils, centering yourself on the feeling of it rather than wanting to wring Jake’s neck. 
You leveled him with a glare and leaned in. “I take care of you, you piece of shit. And if you pull something like that again, I’ll fire you. Stay off the drugs, Jake,” you said. The last thing you needed was to end up on TMZ, because your agent was out on another embarrassing bender. 
Jake pressed his lips together and threw up his hands. “Alright, alright. Look at me. I ain’t on no shit, okay. I heard you the last time. Clean my act up and I can stay, right? I got a suit on and everything,” he said. He spread his arms out and smiled but you weren’t in a smiling mood.
Jake pouted and wrapped his hands around your waist. A waft of cigarette smoke burned your nose and made your eyes tear up. Terry pushed away from the wall but you held up a hand to him. “Remove your hands before I break your fingers,” you said, as calmly as you could muster. 
You didn’t have time for this fucking clown. And where the fuck was Joya or Mirage? They knew better than to let Jake near you while you were in work mode. 
Jake squeezed your hips once before he removed his hands and held them up like he was so innocent. He grinned and looked down his hooked nose at you. “Just remember what’s standing between you and popping your pussy for any producer that wants to sniff after you. Clean this shit up, we have money to make,” he said lowly for your benefit. 
You didn’t know how much Terry could hear but it stung either way. Jake loved throwing that shit in your face. Loved making you think that you were some gutter rat that no one wanted. Grammy Bean wanted you. You were somebody. And no agent was going to make you feel less than. 
“Make them think they’re fucking you while you’re up there. Jesus Christ,” Jake said, needing to have the final word. He took off, disappeared to go yell at somebody about something. 
You rubbed your head, fighting back tears. Got dammit. Once you let the dam fall, the whole thing came crashing down. You didn’t have time to cry right now. Now when everyone was expecting you to lead them. 
“You okay?” Terry asked. 
You tilted your head back and swiped at your eyelids, catching the tears before they had a chance to fall. The one blessing about rehearsals was that there was no make up or restrictive clothing. You sniffled once and then straightened your shoulders, rolling your neck to get the kinks out. 
“I’m fine, Mr. Terry, thank you,” you said.
“So we’re back to Mr. Terry?” He asked softly. 
You risked a glance at him. He squinted at you, his face tilted down. You held each other’s gazes for a second longer than what was polite. You went to open your mouth when Mirage tumbled down the stairs and stopped short of where you were standing.
“Jake’s ready to see it again,” she said quietly. 
You turned away from Terry’s intense eyes, and nodded. “Let’s give him a show then,” you said.
You went back on stage and talked to your dancers, letting them know that you were going full out. You signed to the sound engineer to start from the top. 
The choreography began with the dancers standing in front of you. Once the opening lyrics started, you moved around the stage singing and rapping about men catering to women’s needs for once. That if they can’t eat it right then there was no reason to let them hit. 
The male dancers lifted you during the hook, supporting your weight while you sang and rubbed your hand along your body. You were a master at pretending. At working off the energy in the room. 
You fed off of the song and the lyrics. Embodied what you were saying. Pulled on your inner sex goddess to coo to the invisible audience. Even though you wore your favorite blue joggers and a tank top, you felt like you were scantily clad in your performance outfit. You were selling a fantasy. A fantasy that everyone wanted a ride but no one met the height requirements.
The dancers put you down and then held your hand up while you dropped it low on one of them. From this angle, you faced the side of the stage where Terry stared at you. Stared as you rapped and sang about getting ate out and having a super soaker to make him drown.
He may have turned you down the other night, but the heat of his gaze made your belly flip. Made you move harder, rap faster, and sing better like you were a siren luring men to do your bidding. 
Your eyes almost never left his as you pretended to sing to him and make him think about what he turned down. Let him think on it. Because he couldn’t have you now. You were off the menu. 
He was too far away and you were moving too fast to get a good read on his expression. He stood stiffly, feet shoulder width apart, and his hands clasped in front of him. As the song drew to a close, you winked at him before tilting your head back and belting out the final notes.
When the song ended, you tore your eyes away from the intense static of his stormy eyes to the sound of clapping from somewhere.
“Yes! Yes! That’s what they’re coming to see. Do that! Exactly that!” Jake yelled out to you. 
“Take a thirty everyone,” you said, panting from going full out for rehearsal. You stood on stage with your hands behind your head, panting, trying to catch your breath and cool the desire low in your belly.
Fuck. Singing to Terry like that affected you way more than you realized. It maybe wasn’t the smartest move in hindsight. You just needed a good twenty minutes to get yourself off.
Joya climbed onto the stage to hand you a bottle of water and some orange slices. “I put some more fruit in your dressing room in case you wanted it,” she said. 
“I love you, seriously,” you told her with a smile. 
She clutched her calendar to her chest and beamed at you. “I love you too, miss lady. Though you’re probably going to hate me now. They need you back for another fitting. Francois changed his mind,” Joya said.
You emptied the bottle of water she handed you in one fell swoop and wiped your mouth. “This is bullshit. We made a whole schedule to make sure everyone, including me, was happy about this tour,” you said.
You hated to sound like a whiny brat but fuck. It seemed like more and more things were getting added onto your schedule, things you didn’t approve of. You weren’t a machine. Did they expect you to keep working until you collapsed on stage? 
Joya smiled and rubbed your shoulder. “I’m gonna check with Mirage and see what we can do about sneaking you some off time. We have a week before the LA leg starts. Surely we can move something,” she promised.
You sighed. “I don’t want you to do all that extra work. I need to yell at Jake some more. He can’t keep adding in stuff last minute. I’m so fucking tired, bro,” you told her.
“It’s our job to make sure you’re good. Let us,” she said. She took your empty water bottle and scurried off to tend to her duties. 
The dancers were all standing around talking and laughing. Stage hands moved around the stage, talking into their microphones, and moved prop elements as they did so. As much as you wanted to join the dancers or speak to the choreographer, you also wanted two minutes of peace. 
But that meant…stepping past Terry. You rolled your shoulders. You were a big girl. You could handle rejection. It wasn’t the end of the world. 
You turned and headed off stage, taking three steps down to the main floor. There were boxes and studio equipment spread out back here, each tagged with different colored tape. Terry eyed you as you approached.
“I’m just heading to the dressing room for a few,” you told him. 
He nodded and fell in step behind you as you walked through a set of double doors, then into a plain hallway backstage. Stage hands moved around but they all moved with focus and purpose. Your sneakers squeaked on the shiny floor. Terry was so quiet behind you, you were tempted to look back to make sure he was still there. But you also got the funny sense that if you did, he’d disappear.
When you approached your dressing room, you hesitated one step from it. Logically, you knew that there was nothing in there. Terry had his team triple the security around you and you hadn’t heard from your stalker since that incident.
It’d be so much easier if you knew what they were after. Did they want to be with you? An obsessed fan you could deal with. You just ignored those wackadoodles until they made themselves known somehow. 
Did they want to kill you? Clearly he had a way to get in and out unseen. Was he someone on your team? You didn’t want to turn into a paranoid loon, looking at everyone with suspicion and further isolate yourself. But fuck.
“Would you like me to check?” Terry asked.
You stared at your navy blue door and bit your lip. Yes….no….you wanted to be brave. Wanted to handle this yourself. But you didn’t know if there would be some other disgusting rendition of your dead face staring right back at you. 
You took a deep breath and prepared to tell him no. Terry stepped forward. “There’s no reward for being a martyr,” he said.
You deflated with a sigh. “Can you check please?” You asked.
Terry moved around you and then unsheathed his weapon. He held it down and away from him and then opened your door. He went in first, moving around the space, holding the gun up. You stayed outside of the door, watching him flit through the crack of the door jam. 
The air turned colder now that he wasn’t beside you. The hallway seemed to close in on you, getting smaller and smaller. Your breathing turned choppy, looking down one way and then the other. 
When you simply couldn’t take another second, Terry emerged from your dressing room and holstered his gun. “All clear,” he said.
You nodded and refused to look at him. “Thank you. I just need some alone time,” you said.
You shuffled past him and he held onto your wrist to stop you. You didn’t want to turn around. Didn’t want to face him. 
“You don’t have to be formal around me. If I crossed the line the other day, I can transfer…”
“No!” You practically screeched and turned to him finally. You licked your lips and smiled. “I mean, no, no. If anything, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made it uncomfortable –”
“I wasn’t uncomfortable.”
“I’m the boss, you’re in my employ. Please, don’t think nothing else about it. Okay?” You asked.
Terry’s jaw flexed but he nodded. You snatched your wrist away and entered your dressing room, rubbing the spot where his fingers had been. It was as if he seared you with his light grip and the burn lingered.
You damn near slammed the door in his face, locking it behind you. You just needed a second. A moment to breathe and not have to be “on” for people. 
You crossed the small room to the black leather couch and sat down. The coolness of the leather did precious little to calm you down. You weren’t in danger. You weren’t immediately in danger. 
Terry checked the room, he came highly recommended by the firm, and so far, he had been nothing but the consummate professional, taking your safety seriously. 
As you sat there, however, it just drudged up all the horrible shit from your past. Breaking away from your user family. On your knees begging producers to give you a chance, only for them to use their position and power to solicit sex. One talk with Jake shook you up so bad that it reminded you that every day you breathed was a gift, thanks to what you had to do to survive. 
But it had been a long, long time since you had to be this on edge. This hyper aware of your safety and mortality. Someone out there wanted to cause you harm. They wanted you mentally, emotionally, and physically cowering.
Even as you knew that, even as the logic of it settled in your bones, the only thing you could think was that someone wanted you dead. Someone deemed your life less than theirs. Someone felt angry enough about your existence to make your life a living hell and ultimately, remove you from this plane of existence. 
It chilled you to the bone. To your absolute core. One wrong move and then this would have all been for nothing. All of the struggles, all of the navigating, all of the ways you had to scrimp and scrape to be somebody. 
In the end, you were the same, lonely teenager who didn’t want to be invisible anymore. 
The sweet scent of fruit reminded you of Joya’s thoughtfulness but you were too sick to eat anymore. Maybe you just needed to lay down. You scooted along the couch until you could recline. 
You shoved a throw pillow behind your head and closed your eyes. You just needed to breathe. Just needed to focus on that and nothing else. Nothing else. Just that.
You breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth. You felt your body sink further into the couch and before long, you were out like a light.
Loud banging disturbed you from your sleep. You woke up in a pool of cold sweat running down your neck and into your tank top. You groaned and blinked into the harsh overhead lighting. 
Your eyes cracked open, heavy with sleep and eye crusties, as your eyes swept through the room. There was a director’s chair in front of the vanity, lit up by giant light bulbs all around the mirror. The countertop was littered with makeup, tissues, and hair products. 
Dressing room. “Fuck,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes. 
The banging continued, sounding louder than normal. “I’m up, I’m up, I’m sorry!” You groaned. Fuck, you felt like you had been drugged.
Your rapid heart beats only sped up as you thought about what you had earlier in the day. Had you been drugged? Was it Joya?
The banging increased and the door shook with the force. It disrupted your thoughts enough to know that Joya would never, ever do something like that to you. Besides, she’s had years to take you out. 
You still made a mental note to give her a pay bump. Mirage too. You keep them happy and they’d keep you happy. 
Three succinct booms hit the door and you jumped up. “Okay, I said I was sorry! Damn! It couldn't have been more than…” You stood up and crossed the room, unlocking the door to discover no one on the other side. “Ten minutes.” 
You stepped out of the room and looked both ways down the empty hallway. Terry was nowhere to be found. 
“Terry?” You stepped further into the hallway but it was as quiet as a tomb. The space felt empty and that freaked you out more than anything else. 
How long had you been sleep? Why did no one wake you? Where was everyone? 
A tremor made your hands shake and your fingers turned numb. Did…no one care? If they couldn’t find you, did they all just pack up and leave? 
“This isn’t funny,” you called out but there was no answer. Not even an echo. Your throat turned dry as you made your way back to the stage. Maybe everyone was having a team meeting. Maybe Joya and Mirage found a way to give you some breathing room.
You pushed open the door to the stage and walked up onto it, only to discover no one in sight. The main stage lights were off, leaving the stage bathed in a swirl of blues, purples, and reds. 
You shielded your eyes. “Hello? What the hell!” You yelled. This was beyond fucking uncool. And your phone was either in your room or with Joya, so you had no clue what time it was.
Panic clawed its way from your belly to your chest, scratching your insides with thick, angry nails. Did everyone just…forget about you? 
You brought your hand to your chest as if that would do anything. All it did was call attention to your thumping heart, beating incessantly. Everyone forgot you. No one needed you. 
“Okay, okay, okay, that’s okay,” you murmured to yourself as you paced around the stage. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. 
If everyone left, that was okay. You were paying them to care, but it didn’t mean that their lives ended just to serve your overinflated ego. You would just…go find your purse in your room. You would grab your phone. Order a car to take you home. Easy. Simple. You had this. 
You told yourself that as you left the empty stage, back down the stairs, and away from backstage. You headed down the hallway, rubbing your sweaty hands on your joggers. You were just stressed, that was it.
You approached your dressing room, it had been left open from when you left it. There didn’t seem to be anyone in there. But…still.
You approached cautiously, wondering what the fuck was going on. How did everyone just leave like that? No matter their personal lives, this was unprofessional as fuck. If they called it early, they should have had the decency to let you know. And why would Terry abandon his post? It was quite literally his job to guard your body.
Highly recommended, yeah right. 
You made it to your dressing room and peered inside, stepping inward to check behind the door. Good. No one there. You stepped further into the room before it dawned on you that if no one was there, if no one was around…who the fuck banged on the door? 
You turned slowly just as a bat came swinging towards your head. You leapt out of the way with a scream, throwing yourself against the vanity. 
A figure dressed head to toe in black lifted the baseball bat to his shoulders. The figure was on the small side, but broad. Had to be a man. 
“What do you want from me?” You yelled. You moved the director’s chair in front of you, to deter the figure. He only kept advancing, holding the bat like you were the game winning ball and he needed a home run. 
You lifted the chair and threw it at him, running from the room. Facing three possible directions, you forgot where the exit was. You also forgot how to read, because there were signs but it didn’t make any sense at the moment.
The figure groaned and it spurned you to run, to flee, to find the exit however you were able to. Thundering footsteps boomed behind you as you ran away. Your lungs felt like they were going to go flying out of your mouth. They burned and ached as you ran and ran.
All of the exercise and training you kept up with did fuck all when faced with an actual attacker. Your brain was mush, operating on some basic instinct to survive. You were supposed to be smarter than this, right? 
You risked a glance behind you just in time to see the bat swinging for your head. You fell to the floor to miss it, landing hard on your thigh, and then scrambled across the floor to avoid another swing for your head.
You pulled nearby crates towards you, dollies, and anything else you could pull. One of the crates managed to trip up your attacker. You rushed to your feet, running through the nearest door.
The door banged open against the wall, echoing in the larger chamber. You made it back to the stage and those same lights blinded you as you ran across the stage. Your body felt stiff, achy, as it wanted nothing more than to stop and evaluate.
Stopping meant death. Stopping meant that your attacker had another chance to get you. 
Stopping meant – you were pushed forward and you fell, sliding across the stage. Your chin bounced against the hard floor and you groaned as your teeth clacked painfully. Pain shot through your jaw and you groaned.
A strong hand gripped you by your ponytail and yanked. You screamed as your head was pulled backwards. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be what took you out. This couldn’t, this couldn’t–
You kicked and flailed until your shoe connected with something. There was a harsh, low growl as the grip around your hair lessened enough for you to break free. 
You got to your feet, thigh screaming in pain as you limped back to your dressing room. If nothing else, you could lock the door and call for help. It was your final hope. You weren’t going out like this. You didn’t need anyone.
You limped past the door to the hallway, stopping long enough to bar it momentarily with a cart. It wouldn’t hold the attacker for long, but it’d buy you some time. Fuck. Everything fucking hurt. 
Liquid dripped down your chin. You swiped at it and it came away red. You groaned as you stared at your own blood. Literally at your life leaking from your body. 
“Shit, shit, shit,” you huffed as you limped to your dressing room. 
Metal double doors slammed up against the crate you pushed against the door. You looked back to see an arm flailing through trying to push the crate. Fuck, fuck. Your vision turned blurry as you limped.
It seemed like every step you took only made the dressing room seem further and further back. It looked so far away, like you were never going to find salvation. 
“Someone! Please,” you called out.
You tripped over your shoes and went tumbling forward, landing awkwardly on the same thigh that already cried out with pain. You sniffled as tears ran down your face. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know what to fucking do.
The crate crashed against the wall as it finally rolled free. “No!” You yelled out, finding enough strength to get back to your feet. So close, so close, so close, so close –
Your name echoed down the hallway as a thunder of boots ran closer to you. You turned around, expecting to see your attacker and that damn bat, but there was no one behind you. Nothing.
You shook violently and swayed to your right, nearly colliding with the wall. You held out your hand to stop your entire body from crashing against it and then used the wall to hold yourself up. 
The storm of boots turned the corner. Terry lead the charge and checked your room first and then swiveled. He called your name. Fuck, you’d never been more happy to see someone. 
“Terry!” You yelled. 
His head snapped in your direction and he crossed the hallway in long, determined strides. You swiped at your tears and leaned on your good leg, trying to make yourself look less pathetic.
Terry slowed as he approached you, holding up his hands. He stopped short when he got a good look at you. 
“Who the fuck did this?” He asked, his chest heaving with harsh breaths. 
“I don’t know, I don’t know,” you said, your voice pitching higher and higher. You began to slide down the wall, all fight leaving you completely. He was here. He was here. He didn’t forget about you.
Terry caught you around your middle, shouldering most of your weight. He reached out and gently cupped your face, moving it from one side to the next. His jaw flexed as his eyes scanned over you, taking in all of your injuries. 
He was joined a second later by members of his team and the studio security. Questions were lobbed at you in rapid succession but your brain had turned cloudy. 
“You’re in shock. She’s in shock, back up!” Terry yelled. The mass of bodies dispersed as Terry half-carried, half-walked with you to your dressing room. 
“I woke up and there was no one–”
“Shh, shh, not yet,” he said. 
Just this once…this one brief moment, you let yourself lean on someone else. Terry handled everyone with all the command of a general, parting the sea of looky-loo’s, likely taking photos of you at your most vulnerable. 
Fuck, this was going to end up on TMZ. You groaned at the thought. Terry helped you into your dressing room and then sat you down on the couch. He produced a jacket from somewhere and draped it across your shoulders.
You shook so badly. You were freezing, sore, and achy. You wanted to crawl up like a little baby and never see the light of day again. 
What was the reason? What was the fucking reason? Who the fuck went through the trouble of all of this? What the living fuck? 
All you ever wanted to do was sing and now…you didn’t even have that. The last thing you wanted to do was quit. The very last thing. Singing was your passion, your very being. It was the reason you woke up day in and day out. Because for three hours or so on stage, for hours in the studio, for every interview and fan interaction, you never felt more alive than when you were singing. 
And someone hated you enough to take it away from you. Your mind spun with crazy scenarios. This had to be a deranged fan. This had to be one of those crazy moms who blamed you for corrupting their youth. This had to be someone.  
Someone tangible. This was the work of one person. A smart, deranged person, but just a person. Someone who bled. Someone you managed to fight off. 
Distantly, Terry’s deep timbre barked orders but you weren’t paying attention. You wanted to sleep. 
“Let them through!” Terry’s voice boomed. You jumped from the sudden explosion, before Mirage and Joya squeezed past Terry.
He stood as a stop gap to the onslaught of activity outside the dressing room. No one was getting through him if he had anything to say about it. But then why did he abandon you earlier? 
Mirage and Joya hugged you gently, careful of your injuries. They treated you with kid gloves and that pissed you off more than anything else. You weren’t a fragile flower. You fucking survived. 
Joya cried, swiping at her tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We were told to leave and then we couldn’t find you and then I remembered that I had your phone and we couldn’t even call you–”
You hummed. Even if you made it to your dressing room, there was no phone in here to help you. If Terry hadn’t come when he did, would you be dead right now? 
You hated that you had to rely on others for your safety. You hated that you were a second away from being permanently removed from this earth and it was only by a stroke of dumb luck that the idiot was scared off. 
Joya and Mirage filled you in on their side of things. They were waiting for you to return when one of the guards told everyone to clear out. There was a bomb threat that had been called in and they needed to sweep the building to get everyone out. 
But why didn’t Terry take you with him? 
Your eyes kept glancing over to him as he coordinated with the police and with his team to secure everything back down. His menacing scowl intimidated those around him as he barked orders and commanded everyone. 
Terry glanced at you from time to time. He would give one nod of his head and you returned it. But his whereabouts were more concerning to you. Over the past year, he had been your constant shadow. Nothing fazed him. Nothing tore him up. So where the fuck did he go? 
Terry re-entered the room and stopped short of you. He dropped down into a squat so that he could look you in the eye. “Feel up to talking?” 
You took a deep breath. “Not really. But I know I need to,” you said. The question you most wanted to ask stuck in your throat. You were to afraid of the answer. 
“You don’t have to. We can tell them to meet you somewhere else,” he said. 
You shook your head. “I’m a big girl. I want to get it over with,” you said.
His chin dipped once as his eyes roamed over you. You must look absolutely horrendous. To his credit, he didn’t say anything as he stood and went to the door. He waved to someone and then two men followed behind Terry into your dressing room.
The room grew stuffier, filled with too many bodies. Crowding your space. You dug your nails into the palms of your hands to ground yourself. You were safe. You survived. 
One of the men introduced himself as Henry Bell, a detective with LAPD who was coordinating with the detective in charge of your stalker case. Because you were hopping through multiple cities, it was hard for any one detective to handle it. 
The other man was Patrick Rollins, head of security for the venue. The men asked you to run through what you remembered and what happened. 
You pulled the coat around your shoulders and Mirage and Joya scooted closer to you but you still felt alone. Abandoned. Cold. Like the heat of their bodies couldn’t penetrate the dense fog around you.
You pushed that from your mind as you told them what happened, starting from when you woke up to when Terry found you. You glanced at him as you spoke, wanting to see his reaction yet still afraid of what his excuse was.
He didn’t owe you a damn thing. But you still needed to know why you weren’t important enough to take with. 
They asked more questions, pushed to see if you recognized anything about your attacker. You kept telling them no, getting more agitated the more they asked. How many other ways could you say that you didn’t recognize the loser? 
“Alright, you should have enough,” Terry said. 
“We still have questions–” Rollins started.
“You have enough for now,” Terry reiterated. Rollins sized up Terry but Terry didn’t blink. Didn’t move. He merely kept his open stance and faced the detective and head of security. 
Rollins pushed boyish blond hair out of his face and then nodded. Detective Bill rocked back on his heels and then shoved his notebook into his coat and clicked a pen. “If you think of anything else, let us know, please,” he said. “And I’m sorry this happened to you.” 
You nodded to them and mumbled your thanks. They left with lingering, heated glances with Terry. He saw them out and then he half closed the door. 
“There’s a few things I need to handle and then we can get out of here.” 
You nodded, staring towards your shoes. Everything fucking hurt. You just wanted to turn into a giant baby. But people like you didn’t get to be coddled. You didn’t get to be human. It shattered the illusion and the fantasy.
You picked at the dry blood on your chin. Angie was going to kill you for messing up your face. You sighed and leaned forward.
“Do you have a headache, babe?” Mirage asked. 
You nodded. “I’ll check with a paramedic. They should be here by now.” Mirage stood up and grabbed Joya by the elbow. She protested for half a minute but you didn’t see what Mirage did to make Joya grow quiet. They left the room, leaving you and Terry alone. The last time you had been left alone together didn’t exactly go as planned. 
“Hey,” Terry said. 
You bit the inside of your cheek and then reluctantly looked at him. “How are you really doing?” 
You took a deep breath. “I’m fine,” you said. 
He crossed the room and then dropped into a squat. “There’s no reward for being a martyr,” he said.
You rolled your eyes but you smirked, refusing to smile at his words. “Everything hurts. But I’ll be okay,” you said. 
He nodded. You held each other’s gazes for a moment, just taking him in. His eyes scanned over you, jaw flexing. You didn’t know what he saw. Probably a terrified mess.
“I should apologize–” he started.
“Where were–” you said at the same time. 
He shook his head. “The bomb threat smelled like bullshit so I left a guard to watch you while I checked it out. I was locked in a closet and by the time I burst free, everyone was gone. I went looking, but the guard left his post. Fresh out the military, the bomb was triggering,” he said. His jaw flexed after he said that. 
“You couldn’t know it was triggering,” you said. Well, that explained that. You weren’t sure what you were looking for. An undying apology while he was on his knees? For him to acknowledge that he never would’ve left you voluntarily? He didn’t owe you anything. No one did. 
“He left his post. He’s fired,” Terry said with venom behind his words. 
You smiled ruefully. “That’s a bit harsh,” you said.
Terry blinked at you and you decided to drop it. Apparently, it was important to him and you didn’t know enough about the nuances about this stuff to comment. 
“We’re going to find this motherfucker,” Terry promised.
“Thank you. For coming when you did,” you said quietly. 
“I’m not leaving your side again,” he said. 
Your teeth clicked shut, drawing attention to your bruised chin. You didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t supposed to leave your side earlier. But he did. You settled on a nod. 
Terry lifted from his squat and then returned to his duties, ordering people around, coordinating with others. 
Everything else moved along in a blur. First, you were checked out by a paramedic while Terry watched him like a hawk. You were treated for the scrape on your chin and your thigh was merely bruised. No sprains, no injuries. The paramedic called you lucky. Yeah, right. 
Terry managed to escort you to a truck that had been brought round back and off to the hotel room. The city nightlife went on without you. Though you did pass by a restaurant in downtown LA that played your latest song with Lord A.K. That sort of made you smile. 
You didn’t remember much about the ride to your hotel room besides one minute you were at the venue and the next you stood inside your hotel doorway while Terry checked around. 
“We’ll switch hotels tomorrow. For now, you can rest.” 
You nodded and went to your room without a word. Though you did stop just outside your bedroom. 
“Terry?” You asked.
“Yes, princess?” He asked.
You huffed with a smirk and then turned to him. “I want to learn how to defend myself. Will you teach me?” You asked. 
It wasn’t enough to survive anymore. It no longer suited you to just wait around for this lunatic to kill you. Clearly, your security wasn’t up to snuff. Clearly, this person could get to you at any point and at any time. The only person who could save you was you.
“If that’s what you want,” Terry said.
“That’s what I want.” 
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Thank you, my loves. The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 1 | Part 2
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