#omg the kids will love u. i know these things

[poppy-metal]

ok before we get into the Thick of citygirl!reader’s return to the small town i was plagued by visions of her and ranch hand!art from earlier in the summer.

the town’s summer rodeo was coming up, and coming from new york, you didn’t really have a clue what that meant. you’re also bored bc your preferred form of entertainment for the summer was avoiding you. you’ve been chewing on your straw for the past ten minutes as you look out onto the ranch from the porch, brows furrowed.

it had been the third time you seduced art; him taking you in the toolshed after you bent over in front of him in a white sundress, the hem riding up to show your glistening cunt. he knew you had played with yourself earlier; it was the flush in your cheeks and the glossy lidded look you gave him over your shoulder. “oops, guess i dropped that,” you had drawled to the other ranch hands who were oblivious to your flirtations with art. he was pounding into you so hard the flimsy wood walls were shaking, but his hips stilled when he heard the other ranch hands coming back from feeding the cattle. “fuck,” he hissed—partially because the fear of getting caught wracked through his body and partially because you clenched on his cock in a way that brought him right to edge. of course he came in you and zipped himself up like normal, but there was a tenseness in his shoulders that hinted at something else.

well, it’s been five days, and you desperately needed him. you knew that he was avoiding you, but he couldn’t avoid his work, and if you were working alongside him, he can’t avoid you. so as the summer sun beats down on your back, you help pick strawberries alongside the ranch hands. “you comin’ to the rodeo, sweetheart?” patrick asks from a few rows down. he was eating more strawberries than he was picking. “now i’ve been hearing a lot about this rodeo, but i haven’t the faintest clue what it entails,” you respond. “well you’ll see a few of us bull ridin’” patrick starts, “you’ve ever seen that before up in that big ol’ city of yours?” you shake your head.

“don’t know why you do it, patrick,” art interjects. you shiver at hearing the timbre of his voice again. “getting bounced around, risking getting hurt like that? for what? a few seconds of adrenaline and pride,” art shakes his head, “idiotic.”

“you only say that because lily doesn’t let you do it anymore,” patrick retorts, and at your interested expression, he turns to face you. “art used to be the best in the state but once lily made him an honest man, he stopped. said she was scared every time he got on, and he couldn’t do anything that would hurt her or make her sad. but you? you look like a girl that enjoys a bit of danger.”

you do, and he’s standing next to you watching you with an expression that lights your skin on fire. “well, i won’t say i’m not intrigued,” you start, “always wondered what it’s like to ride a cowboy.” a low whistle comes from another one of the ranch hands.

“now what about this,” patrick starts, “i last long enough on that bull tomorrow, and you give me the honor of taking you out one night.” art stiffens next to you. the other ranch hands laugh and keep their eyes on the scene entertaining them during the day’s menial task. the plan lays itself out in front of you.

“now how bout this,” you say, sweeping your eyes over the men leering at you, “who ever lasts the longest on that bull tomorrow gets to take me out and help me fulfill that cowboy fantasy of mine.”

“now that’s a deal, sweetheart,” patrick says.

so riddle everyone’s surprise when art shows up in his gear and sets the town record bull riding. of course all the ranch hands grumble that your promise and prize was now wasted because art—loyal, cuffed art—did not need your prize and would never ever cash it in.

but he does that night when you ride him on his bed, bouncing and mewling on his cock the whole night wearing his cowboy hat. lucky for him, the following morning was his day off because he was DRAINED (in all senses of the word) and felt no desire to get up out of bed, staying curled up behind you with his arms firmly wrapped around your waist.

(but yes! i’m going to be a primary school teacher, so teaching the littlest children 🙂‍↕️ more ranch hand!art will be coming slowly once i’m more settled into my job)

- 🤠

WOOOF WOOOOOOF WOOOF

please art is so petty - can't handle anyone else having reader even though he can't claim her as his publicly, anyway. think this is where reader starts to fall for him - no ones ever really fought for her before. and arts display of possessiveness, even if she's the only one who knows it for what it is, when everyone else just thinks he's being a gentleman and keepin' the men of the town from harassin' you, you know what it's really for. can see it when he catches your eyes after he dismounts and a rush of butterflies take off in your tummy. the look says, you're mine.

and when lily comes busslin' up to him to fawn over him he doesn't even have it in him in the moment to feel guilty for not thinking about her at all, head full of all the ways he plans on collectin' his prize from you - your eyes meet his over his her head and he knows you'll be waiting for him by his truck later.

and late when he fucks you on his cock you can feel some of that rushed clumsiness of the first few quick fucks vanish as he takes his time - on his bed - a room he hasn't even allowed lily in, because it's improper - he takes his time feeding you his fingers - watching the way your body twitches and writhes for him - you're so reposnsive - so wet and tight - and he feels some part of him come out that he's always strugglin' to suppress - that he claims isn't there in the first place, but is now, with you naked and hot on his lap - "you wanted to ride a cowboy? s'that what all this is about, honey? you just needin' some rough and tumble dick in that city girl cunt?"

he eases you down onto him before you can answer - "take it, then -" because if you're here giving him hell just to get your rocks off, the least you can do it bounce on his dick like the whore you are. you're a wicked, wicked girl - you're also the only thing that's makin' him feel alive, his blood buzzin under his skin as you arch your back and slam your hips up and down on his cock like you're laying down your claim on him.

"how are you so - fuckin' good at this -" he doesn't really want to know - it's just insane - how he sinks inside you and immediately loses thought. some witchcraft in your pussy the way he can't stop thinking about it, even when he shouldn't be. he grips your ass in a punishing way, spanks you once, hard - "give me my prize, honey - ride me harder, c'mon -" and he spanks you again, like he's urging on a horse, spurrin' you and you go buck wild for it - squeezing his dick with your pussy, makin' his goddamn toes curl as you fuck him harder. the bed shakes on its hinges - your hands comes down to his bare chest to balance yourself as you rock back and forth wildly.

"fuck, that's it." you cry - "it's your pussy - you earned it - fuck me just like that. fuck that pussy - yeah - show me who's boss around here -"

cause you know he fuckin' hates your attitude - can see his need to straighten you out burning under his skin everytime he looks at you, know he blames you for his own weakness and you love it - love his anger and his hatred because it's passion and it's hot and you can feel how fucking badly he wants you when he grabs your waist and sits up so your chest to chest and wraps an arm around you, yankin' you against him, and then you're moving together, bodies slick and sliding and your mouths are a hairs breath apart and he's so deep - he's so fucking deep you can feel him in your throat - robbin' you of breath -

you don't have to beg for him to cum inside you like you usually do - it's just a known fact that he's gonna. you grab his face and press your forehead to his and you lock eyes and his fury looks alot like raw fuckin' desire when he pumps you full of his seed.

you're both so breathless and fucked out after, he doesn't think to tell you to get out - he tips to the side with you in his arms, holding you to him as you both come down. he thinks he'll tell you to get cleaned up and get goin' in just a few minutes. just needs to catch his breath.

you both fall asleep within minutes.

[sseulr1n]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

=͟͟͞♡ tysm for 2.7k !!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

[fisheito]

head swivels around at owl vertebraesnap speed

save a horse ride a wolfboy???!?!!??!!????!!?!????????

[jrueships]

sometimes i'll think abt a Fandom and wish it were bigger, and sometimes i'll read something from a fandom.. and wish it were smaller

[p4nishers]

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

[kuromi-hoemie]

i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

[cartoon-skeleton]

I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao

[ajdrawshq]

the first few days of third semester is really just Akira having the worlds worst mindfuck of the century. and its hilarious

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.

[chisungie]

.

[choccy-milky]

HAHA AWW this is so cute!! the kids calling clora mama and seb papa...😭 💖💖seb would honestly be happy about that tbh LOL. also im dead at clive saying 'im waiting for an answer, son' to seb HAHAH HES SO INTIMDATING LMAO rip seb. also margaret just going along with it and being like ok! yup! guess you're the mama and sebs the papa, and now these are all of our grandchildren!😇 BAHAH, 1000% in character. THANK YOU FOR THIS AND FOR NOT ONLY DRAWING CLORA BUT MARGARET AND CLIVE AS WELL!!💖💖🥹

Meanwhile

Base on Sebastián meeting Clora's parents and Benedict thought it be funny to mess with Sebastián ( he too has a crush on Clora) since Benedict is the second oldest among his six siblings and the ringleader of it, he tells them to call Clora mama and Sebastián Papa.

@choccy-milky, I can't help it and that's the reason I asked if Clora is a daddy's girl

Alicent has seven siblings and she's the eldest.

It's been a while I drew that hogwarts related stuff

[jrueships]

She's a very professional senior manager and she was owning up to a mistake where she didn't attach the file that she said she was going to attach! So you're #valid for doing something similar in my opinion!

thank u,,,,,,,, tumblr,,, my therapy,,,,

[holytrickster]

rip kira you would have loved the exorcist remake

[kisses4reid]

criminally hot | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

summary - you get wrongfully accused by a sheriff, and it isn’t you who’s angriest. it’s your boyfriend who has to expose your relationship in order to clear you.

genre - spencer x bau!fem!reader, fluff, slight angst if u squint, angry reid x calm reader

wc - 1.2k

warnings - reader uses she/her pronouns, handcuffs, violence, a weird white man i know id be fucking scared as well, oh swearing as well.

a/n - i love u you’re so awkward i am doing so well bc of ur request, keep requesting things your brain is crazy. ummm anyways this is my first time writing this kinda thing omg how exciting okay start reading it wtf you still doing here?

request - ( from @babyoureahauntedhouse ) omg hii!!! :3 this is my first time requesting, so please excuse the awkwardness 😭😭😭😭 first of all, how are you????? i hope you’re doing amazing!!! absolutely no pressure, but can you do one where reader gets falsely arrested (not a huge thing, maybe in a police station at a small town or something) and spencer absolutely **loses** his shit at how she’s being treated????? like, she’s freezing and the sheriff or somethjng keeps pushing her and then he just bursts into the interrogation room and uncuffs her and it’s just very fluffy???? thank you!

Emily handed you your coffee with a smile, receiving a small thank you in return. It was warm in your hands and created a comforting contrast to the cool chill of the police precinct you were set up in.

Things were going well given that you’d only been in the small town for half a day. The team debriefed on the plane, but Aaron had been on the phone with the leading detective for at least an hour now asking him where he was.

Emily headed off to the restrooms when a slender hand made its way to your waist. You turned and felt your cheeks heat, knowing exactly who is was.

“Hi Spencer.”

“Hi Y/n.” His eyes held sweetness in the chocolate swirls, and you felt like a kid who had been given candy. Spencer and you had been dating for a few months, but somehow in a team of profilers you both kept things under wraps, even with Spencer’s clumsy touches and your lingering stares. “I wish we were home,” he whispered.

You glanced around for anyone who could witness your interaction and get suspicious, but you were mostly alone other than Hotch and some officers who were weirdly taking a lot of attention to you.

“Yeah me too. I’m feeling oddly popular and not in the good way.”

Before you could talk more or offer him a sip of your coffee (even if you know he doesn’t like it), Aaron calls his name and the slim tall boy scurries away with a straight face.

You turn to find something to do. To reread a case, to help someone fill out papers, to talk to Morgan or Garcia. You would’ve opted to huddling in your cardigan if a tall man didn’t interrupt.

“Y/n L/n?” He asked in monotone. His arms were at his sides, one hovering above a pair of cuffs that hung from his police belt. Furrowing your eyebrows you answered,

“Yes? What’s wrong?”

“You’re under arrest for the robberies of…”

His voice pounded into the background of your head, thoughts attacking your eyes through a sudden headache as the words registered before you could help it. The room was silent except for the man’s voice, yet all you could hear was the furrow of eyebrows and quick approach of your boss, Aaron Hotchner.

“What’s going on here?”

“Your agent has been seen…”

You stood still as another officer came behind you and forced handcuffs onto your arms, gripping your wrists with unnecessary force that would surely leave bruises. You winced and looked between your boss and the officer, and then at Spencer, who was being pulled back by Morgan. He yelled your name in worry, witnessing the hardened grips on your body and rough pushing you were being subject to. Your coffee splattered on the ground, staining your white shoes.

There was only mumbles and white noise, as your eyes met with Spencer’s. The large officer behind you kicked your leg to get you moving, the shock glueing your shoes to the rubbery floor. And you almost didn’t even notice the hand on the back of your neck pushing you towards a dark room with a desk and two chairs.

You were so familiar with these rooms and yet it felt so different.

Of course, you didn’t actually do anything. And of course you attempt to clear that up to the officers who are slamming their hands on the table and screaming as much as they could, in a poor attempt to intimidate you.

Aaron was in the corner with a scolding face and hard hand to his chin, observing the situation with an intensity you barely ever see.

“Last month, you were seen at one of the houses that got robbed over night. You left a few days later, after also being seen at two of the other houses-“

“So she was seen at three of the ten houses robbed and you arrest her?” Aaron spoke up, bringing the men’s attention to your boss instead of you. You took the opportunity to look outside of the window.

Though it wasn’t clear, you could make out the outline of a tall boy you wished would just break into the room and save you.

And he did.

“Your evidence is illogical and childish. She’s an FBI agent for gods sake-“

“Anybody can be a suspect Agent Hotchner, even federal agents.” The tall one replied with a stubborn mumbled.

Suddenly, the door was slammed open and you were met with a disheveled Spencer panting with a red and severe face. He didn’t even bother looking at you before he starting schooling the men in blue, who at that point were glaring at him and attempting to look more intimidating than they actually were.

“I’ve read your files on this case and nothing links to Y/n L/n, not one-“

“There’s no way you read our-“

“I can read more in a minute than you can in a day, dickhead. Y/n was meeting old school friends when she was in town, we went to the Diner Inn afterwards and we met with her parents who have receipts for the meals because they’re-“ he turned his glance at you,” “sorry Y/n- they’re hoarders. You have nothing against her other than some positively reported visits and some photos of her hugging the house owners.” Spencer had slowly pinned the officers to the opposite wall unconsciously. It was hot. “I was there, I’m her receipt. And like her parents, she loves keeping those. So if you want to insist she’s your culprit, go for it. But your going against a man with eidetic memory and a lot of evidence.”

And while he was logical and correct, he was also a little too truthful.

The officers blinked in fear. Spencer definitely didn’t seem the type to yell or swear, so this clear, concise and undermining approach to the situation was somehow even scarier.

“Spencer,” you began, “thank you.”

He looked at you, his expression softening into empathy and care, “Of course.” His hands found a key in his back pocket as he approached you, starting to promptly uncuff you.

As Aaron continued to speak with the officers of their major mistake, Spencer took you outside of the room and into a private office. Your heart was racing, but it seemed Spencer was more stressed than you. He paced as you leaned onto the front of a wooden desk, hands over your chest as your eyes trailed Spencer.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I should’ve reacted faster, then you wouldn’t have been..” He stopped closely in front of you, his breath hot on yours as his gaze scoured over your body for injuries or bruises. “Are you okay?”

You smile calmly, “I’m fine. My leg hurts, and I think my wrists will be bruised, but I’m fine.”

He took your hands and rubbed his thumbs on your wrists carefully, causing butterflies to explode in your stomach.

“Thank you Spencer.” Your eyes dance with each others. “You were really hot. Maybe I need to get arrested more often.” You joke with a lift to your voice and a smirk, causing him to look down with a smile and shake his head.

“If being angry makes me hot maybe you should reevaluate what you-“

Your lips found his, you hand going to his bicep and his going to the back of your neck, before a clearing of the throat took you both out of your trances. It was Hotch.

“I’ve got some paperwork you both need to sign. About the arrest and,” his hand waved between you two, “this.”

Morgan stood behind Aaron with a smirk, leaving quickly to go tell Garcia that she had lost their bet.

taglist: @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es

[methoughtsphantom]

HELL YEAH CROWN PRINCE PHANTOM whose ectoplasmic signature readings are obviously higher than that of his dad’s, who’s still filtering the corrupted ectoplasm and that takes time, (which is why he only wears the crown and not the ring.) So imagine, imagine that the imaginary of the vengeful angel was only visible to Danny, just like the crown, like imperceptible to human eyes kinda thing. To Batman Red Hood is just another ecto-entity who caught him off guard, and so he has to be better prepared. He goes see the JLD to ask for more information about these entities. They tell him one is the ghost king. Cuz mages can get a read in signatures and one is off the charts level powerful, or maybe Batman just had a scanner I dunno, point is Batman wrongly deduces whose the ghost king in this situation. After all, only one was able to actually display a tangible supernatural form and readings that remained steady during the scan. ((Jason’s are unreliable, funky if he’s not trying and bitch-you-better-start-running if he is.))

So. Batman wants to summon the ghost king. He doesn’t see a reason to involve the JL, just him and Constantine, who’s like ?? I heard there was new management, but…so new that the king’s a literal child?? okay I gotta see this. im putting a bunch of binds and spells so the ghost won’t be able to cross the summoning circle. Like Constantine just has Batman’s initial assessment and a power chart. Bruce’s detailed report indicates the kid has no experience on battle combat and instead just heavily relies on his powers (list of known powers not conclusive), but is still a threat that knows his and his associates secret identity. Curiously, the Bat also put that the kid is heavily suspected of being emotionally compromised.

Anyways

They expect a child.

They get the Red Hood.

Red Hood, who is still a bat, and still trained with assassins. Motherfucker whose ectoplasm readings are again so funky he can pass through the summoning’s restrains and binds as if they are not there. He’s such a little shit about how he’s sprinting the whole thing. He’s ghost adjacent enough he can turn intangible. He’s an expert on combat who can fucking predict what the bat’s planning to pull because he fought alongside him. Dramatic bitch saw Batman and immediately went to throw hands. Especially when the the Bat tries to pull off a gun on him.

Jason: oh so you’re using guns now??? you’re really such a hypocrite!!

Batman: I’m not the one whose letting a child cover for their criminal activities!!

…

Batman, at some point: I would never hurt my own son!!

Jason:

Jason: 🤡

…

Batman: how do you know our identities???

Jason, who didn’t know B knew he knew and who also had a pretty hardcore pretty little liars phase ✨: two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. bitch.

Batman:

Batman: this is confirmation. a dead figure from my past told him i’m Batman

…..

Batman, who’s still trying to see an angle to the Red Hood: You are obviously unfit to take care of a child

Jason:

Danny, 15 and thoroughly done with everyone's crap, steals the Crown of Fire and the Skeleton Key and uses the later to find a suitable new High King for the Infinite Realms. The key (also known as Deaths kay) acted like a sort of Infi-map but lacked the limitations of needing a natural portal to spawn in that time/location and could get you past any wards/protections no mater how powerful.

The key spawns him just in front of the form of a sleeping Jason Todd, and Danny decided he wasn't going to question the magical keys judgment and just plops the crown on a bleary and startled Jasons head.

The crown burned for this guy, signaling that it found him worthy and that was more than enough for Danny.

With no context whatsoever, Danny looked Jason in the eye, burning neon green meeting with wide greenish blue, "You're our king now."

Then he vanished.

Jason later finds that the Lazarus entity left behind a handmade pamphlet. It was immensely unhelpful.

[gilverrwrites]

I love imaging Dick, Tim, and Damian sneaking around trying to meet Jasons new gf because they just wanna be involved in his life and they know if they they leave it to Jay they wont meet her u til they're married with kids 😭

AND ‘omg us meeting Jason’s siblings when’

AN: Ngl I love this idea too, its so shitty of them but they have the best of intentions.

Damian

A boy no older than 14 with eyes that pierce the soul was not what you'd expected to find on Jason's couch the very first time he'd left you alone there. Jason had to dip out unexpectedly early, and had promised you run of the place until he got back so you'd slept in as long as you could and were on your way to make breakfast when you're greeted by the hell-child.

Once your initial fright wears off you realise you recognize him from a photo Jay had showed you which makes you feel slightly more at ease.

“Good morning? Damian right?” You offer as you pass him, be-lining for the coffee machine, you're gonna need caffeine if you're meeting any member of Jay's family for the first time. “Can I get you anything?”

“Alfred says it's unbecoming to sleep past 9.” Besides the initial glare he'd graced you with as you emerged from the bedroom, he doesn't even look up at you, his eyes glued to the pages of a book. Like brother like brother, you guess.

“Oh, well. Good thing Alfreds not here then.” You add a small laugh, trying to inject some humour to the situation. Damian does not respond in kind. “Is that a no? I think there's some chocolate cereal around here somewhere.”

“What do you do for work that allows you to be in my brother's home in the middle of the day?”

Jeez this kid is no-nonsense. “Or I could make pancakes, I make really good pancakes.”

“And tell me what exactly are your intentions with my baby brother?” Baby?

“I think there's some chocolate chips around here somewhere. Jason says you like chocolate. Chocolate pancakes?”

“Do you always avoid questions?”

“Are you always so intense?”

He slams the book closed and you nearly jump on the spot. He finally looks at you, really looks at you and as you stare back his features begin to soften slightly.

“I’ll have a coffee.”

You're certain from the sly look on his face that he's probably not allowed coffee. He certainly doesn't need any. But screw it, he's not your kid and if it gets him to like a little, you'll take the risk.

So you pour two coffees and join him on the couch. His questions do not cease until Jason returns about an hour later. He couldn't care less about the coffee, but he does care about Damian breaking in to interrogate his partner and immediately kicks Damian out.

Dick

Dick finds out about your existence from one of Damian’s letters, and he's subtle but pushy about meeting you. Not that you're aware. He keeps ‘dropping by’ Jason's apartment ‘just to see his lil brother’, no other reason but is told to get lost or downright ignored anytime you're there, until he decides to cut out the middle man and turn up at your home instead.

“Let me tell you, you are a hard person to get a hold of.” He informs as he invites himself through your front door.

“Um, hello Dick?” As you stare at his lush hair and sculpted abs you wonder what Alfred feeds these boys.

“Yep! I can't stay so I’ve gotta make this quick.” he gestures for you to come closer, speaking in a playful, conspiratorial whisper. “Jay doesn't know I'm here.”

That would be why he can't stay, Jason is due at your door any minute now.

“But you two seem to be getting pretty serious and I think it's important that we all get to know each other. You following?”

You nod, and he gives you the perkiest, most genuine smile. That or he has that exact look practised to a T. From what Jay tells you, either is possible.

“So, Barbara and I, that's my wife” You nod once more, you're aware of Barbara also. “have booked a table at Casa Gotica for Thursday night. We need you to get Jason there without letting on that it's a double date.”

“I don’t know.” you finally give your nodding head a break. “Jay and I don’t lie to each other.”

“Right. I can't begrudge that. Very glad to hear he's picked an honest one.” He takes a moment to straighten his thoughts, but his moment is cut short but the echo of Jason’s combat boots approaching your door. Dick’s eyes rapidly scan the room for a secondary exit before he settles on an open window. “Don't think of it as lying, think of it as omitting the truth. Whatever you have to do just be there for 6.30. Oh, and it's great to meet you!”

“You too.”

“Thursday, 6.30!”

Before you can agree he’s gone, presumably scaling the side of your building as Jay steps inside.

Tim

Tim was actually the first to be aware of you and your relationship with his brother, however, the very real possibility of being gutted by Jason for snooping in his personal life was too high for him to make a move.

But you seeking him out is a different story; or rather, you being the first to say hi when you bump into each other in line at the grocery store is different. It would be rude not to respond to your attempts at initiating a conversation.

“Hello, hi, are you Tim? You don't know me but I’m Jasons partner. Its so great to meet you.”

“I know who you are.” He states rather ominously, eyes darting around behind you. “Is he here?”

“No, but he's picking me up after.” His shoulders visibly ease.

“Cool cool cool.” He’s suddenly much more personable. “So, I hear you're into…”

That chatting doesn't dry or lul at all as the queue dwindles and both buy your groceries. He waits with you until you get confirmation from Jay that he's on his way. He's easily the chillest sibling you've met thus far.

When Jason arrives he gets out of the car to open the boot and passenger door for you as always, but not before he thrusts his phone in your face. “Where is he?”

Displayed on the screen is a selfie of Tim with you in the background, you absolutely do not remember it being taken.