#getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[obx-writings]

That Night - Pt 2

Request: Hey can I request a jj fic where y/n doesn’t want to do sex/touching stuff with jj because of a past she has. When she gets uncomfortable around it multiple times he thinks she’s not really in love with him or that she’s cheating. At a kegger, topper comes up to y/n when she’s alone and flirts with her and touches her arm. He tries to get her to go some place else but she doesn’t want to. Jj comes in and punches topper and they fight. Topper exposes y/n and says that they already had sex before, but it wasn’t just sex it was rape. Y/n doesn’t want to talk to anyone again, but jj comforts her and says it doesn’t define her.

AN: So I decided to make this into two parts, since it was just going to be wayyy too long as one. I also understand how heavy this topic is, so I am trying to deal with it with as much care as I can. Please let me know what you all think of this one! 

Warnings: Sexual Assault, Anxiety, Self Doubt

WC: 1.7K

---

As you and JJ walked up hand in hand, Kie smiled at you. John B passed him a beer and you sat down on a log by the fire. JJ came around to sit next to you, draping his arm lazily across your shoulders. He leaned in and whispered “I love you” in your ear, quietly so the others wouldn't hear, placing a kiss on your temple. You guys had agreed to keep your love to yourselves a little longer, wanting to stay in your bubble as much as you could. John B noticed the affection and gave JJ a look of happiness, knowing his friends had worked everything out.

“So, how is everyone on this fine evening?” John B said, in the worst posh accent you might add. Pope just laughed and took a sip from his cup. “Damn, the energy here is shit, I'm gonna get another drink, Kie, you coming?” He looked over at Kie, and she shot you a look, double checking you were okay with JJ, to which you nodded, silently telling her it was okay to go. She stood up and they walked over to the keg. It was still early, so you assumed that Sarah was running late, as usual, trying to pick out the perfect outfit to make John B’s head spin. You were lost in your brain, and the love you now knew you had for JJ, you didn’t even realize you had spaced out until the sound of JJ and Pope making dumb jokes and laughing brought you back to reality. You were so happy, it was unbelievable. You joined in their conversation, and pretty soon, John B and Kie had returned with new alcohol, making you realize you hadn;t grabbed a drink yet.

“I’m gonna go grab a drink really quick, I just realized I’m the only one left out!” You laughed and began to stand up, but JJ held his hand up.

“I’ll get it, babe, don’t worry” He said.

“JJ, it’s 20 feet away, I got it.” You shook your head and stood up, walking over to the keg. Behind you, you heard Pope and John B teasing JJ, and you could have sworn you heard Pope make a “whipped” sound, which just made you chuckle. You got to the keg and began filling your cup, shaking your head at all the clueless tourons flirting with locals. You were so focused you didn’t even notice that your least favorite kooks were making an appearance behind you.

“Well, well, well Y/N, you clean up pretty nice for a pogue.” Topper whistled from behind you, and you froze. His voice sent chills down your spine. You wanted to play it cool, so you turned around and rolled your eyes.

“Bet you say that to all of them.” You bit back, proud of yourself, and you began walking back to your friends, but you realized JJ had noticed the exchange, and had begun getting up to come over.

“Only the hot ones, which damn, you are.” You felt disgusted at the words, and even worse knowing that JJ was close enough to hear that one. He had a look of rage about him as he walked towards you. “Oh look, your trailer park trash boyfriend here to save the day.” He laughed with his friends, loving making fun of you.

“Yeah, he is. Get the fuck out of here Topper. We told you to stay off the Cut.” JJ seethed through clenched teeth, trying his best to hold back. He knew you hated when he got into fights, especially with kooks. He had enough bruises as it was with his home life, he didn’t need more, you’d told him.

“Hey, tell me JJ, have you fucked her yet? Because let me tell you, she’s pretty goo…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before JJ lunged at him, punching him in the face. The rest of the kooks joined in, and pretty soon it was 4 on 1. You were frozen. Not only were you completely angry, hurt, and upset that JJ was in a fight, but Topper had just outed your biggest secret. The rest of the pogues heard the commotion, and ran over to see what was happening, only to find JJ being held up by two kooks, Topper and Rafe, taking shots at his face and stomach. You snapped out of it when Pope pulled you away, fear of you getting caught in the crossfire, while Kie screamed and John B ran over to help his friend. You didn’t even realize you were out of Popes grip until you were standing one foot from the fight. You reached out and grabbed at Topper’s arm, yanking him back, your eyes blazing.

“Don’t you ever...say anything like that about me again, or I swear, I will kill you.” You slapped him in the face on the word ever. JJ and John B were completely taken aback, as were you, of your confidence, but this was it. He’d crossed the line and there was no going back. You were fuming.

“Oh, the princess fights back!” He laughed in your face. This was it. You had to say it.

“I know that I didn’t fight back the night you fucking raped me, but I’m not the same girl I was a year ago. Go fuck yourself, Topper.” You spat in his face, a look of absolute shock on everyone watching. You had said it. Rafe looked genuinely surprised, looking at Topper with confusion. Kie covered her mouth with her hand, a gasp escaping, and they guys all were in disbelief. You pushed him away and turned around. You couldn't face any of them after revealing what you did. You heard John B punch Topper in the face and you got further away, and you swore you heard Rafe say something along the lines of “He probably deserved that one” which shocked you even more. By the time you had gotten to the car, you realized you had been crying, and you heard footsteps approaching you from behind. This was the last conversation you wanted to have, but here you were. You turned around.

“Look, I get it if you’re disgusted with me J. I hate myself for letting it happen. I don’t want to talk about it anym…” JJ just grabbed you into a bruising hug, your face smushed in his chest. You began crying harder, and he just shushed you, rubbing your hair soothingly. You don;t know when, but at some point your legs collapsed underneath you, and you both fell to the ground, JJ holding you in his arms, never letting you go. The other pogues weren’t far behind, coming up to you guys and sitting down silently. You finally looked uo, seeing that Sarah had joined the group. She must have shown up in the fight and you didn’t even notice, because she has a look of absolute pity on her face.

“Well now you guys know.” You sniffled. You were mortified.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pope said, almost a whisper. He had tears running down his face, and blood on his knuckles. Pope had punched out Topper for you. Damn.

“I couldn;t even live with myself for now. I just wanted to forget. Please, just let me forget.” You let out a choked sob and hid your face in JJ’s neck. He just held you tighter. It finally clicked to him, why you hated being touched, why you never wanted to have sex. You had your first time forcibly taken. He clenched his jaw, and John B noticed too, the realization across his face.

“We love you, Y/N. We’re gonna be here for you, through the whole process okay?” Sarah said in the sweetest voice.

“You got us forever, and we got your back. We’re gonna take care of you, okay?” Kie joined in. You pulled your head away from JJ’s neck and smiled at them. You reached your hand out and everyone grabbed it, silent. This was your family, no matter what. You turned back to face JJ, and after letting go from the group, touched his cheek, and his face softened, look in your eyes.

“I love you.” You breathed.

“I love you too, Y/N. Nothing bad will ever happen to you again baby, never. I promise.” You finally believed it.