#omg i am sooo excited !!
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btw arc 15 intro probably wont be done till later cuz i got a lot of drawing to do + my dad is making me go to a disc golf course with him later :/
#i am sooo excited for this arc omg#maple says some words#sbi apartment au#sleepy bois inc apartment au
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âïžLIFE IS STRANGE: DOUBLE EXPOSURE SPOILERSâïž
I FINISHED THE GAME MOODBOARD
#Sorry im in the fandom minority and i am SO excited to see where the LIS storyline goes!!!!#omg omg omgg...... verg excited to see where diamond's story goes along with safi omggggg#im in love with this game. truly i am#from every sjngle side character to the storylines just wow wow wow#âMax Caulfield will returnâ SHE FUCKIN BETTER!!!!!!!!!#chewing on my nails i need i NEED MOOOORRRRE!!!!!#like i cant even properly articulate all my thoughts rn but i garuntee imma have sooo much to say okay#anyway live laugh love double exposure <33333#Life is Strange: Double Exposure#[ RJ ]
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jokes aside though since its been a year since the last series and my follower count has doubled since then i will watch and post about this series but i do have disorders that mean i cannot derive joy from anything except getting triple kills in overwatch and ethubs kissing so unless either of those things happen dont expect me to go crazy like many do. but im trying hard to be less of a negative cunt at all times. have fun
#mine#this moreso as a note because like#during sl i would get asks like Omg dont you think xyz was sooo crazy#which like i know people were excited and im happy for you but there is a 99% chance i have nothing to say.#i try not to talk about it on here but i am in a really. really terrible place physically and mentally right now đ so like. YOU KNOW
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Ebba Stone đž
Self Assured - Music Lover - Ambitious
If you told Ebony Flintstone four months ago that she would be spending three nights a week singing on live television, growing a massive following, AND winning a record deal with Maxis Music Machine she would have laughed in your face. Now that the easy part is over here comes the hard part: learning to navigate new found fame, the industry, and become a global artist.
@wildmelon and @virginlucanis infamous oc's inspired this gameplay. i've been rewatching shows like NANA, Instant Star, and Making the Band for this storyline. and THANK YOU for introducing me to IF, as an otome and rpg girlie i'm obsessed.
#the sims 4#the sims community#ts4#ts4 screenshots#ts4 simblr#show us your sims#my sims#sims community#ts4 story#sims 4 story#stone*#nxntendhoe#omg i am sooo excited for this story#AND i got photoshop going? it's so on
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IâM WRITING! IâM FINALLY WORKING ON SWAN UPON LEDA. IâM ACTUALLY MAKING SOME DECENT PROGRESS! Someone cheer. Iâve barely touched this thing since the last upload Iâve written over 2k just today alone usually when I go without touching something for this long it means the fic is deadzo. Someone tell me theyâre proud. IâM DOING GREAT! (Someone please tell me Iâm doing great I desperately need affirmations & attention)
And yes, as always, because I can never seem to help myself, HEREâS A (very long awaited) SNIPPET!!!
Spoilers for ch 7 - you can go find ch 6 in my pinned! <3
ââââââââââ
On a sober day, Haymitch arrives with a tiny ratty teddy bear. He pauses and fiddles with it for a moment before he says anything to her.
âThis was my brotherâs.â He swallows. And then he sets it on the kitchen counter next to Katniss as she tries to make a sandwich that will satisfy her raging taste buds. âI want you guys to have it.â He says softly.
She pauses, and looks at him. This isnât the first, nor the second time, that heâs brought something of sentimental value for the baby. But the other times Katniss is pretty sure he was at least tipsy. She can tell by the clarity in his eyes that this was a completely sober decision. And it seems to have unsettled him slightly.
âAre youâŠsure?â She asks gently.
He swallows again, and nods. And then tries to produce a smile. âAs long as that little booger doesnât tear it up, yeah.â
Katniss returns the smile. âThank you, Haymitch.â
He gives a curt nod, and then turns to go.
âWait.â Katniss says.
When he turns back she feels like thereâs a lump in her throat. Sheâs not entirely sure why she stopped him. But she realizes she wants to say it to him, that he probably needs to hear it. To know that she understands what itâs like to lose a sibling, someone close to you. Knows how hard it would be to gift their belongings to someone else. To give away what little physical evidence you still have of their existence, what still exists to show that they loved and were loved.
This time sheâs the one to swallow before she speaks. âIâmâŠIâm proud of you, Haymitch.â She says softly.
It feels strange giving her mentor praise, especially when their usual dynamic is always teasing one another and poking at tender spots in each other's armor. Not to try and crack the other, but as aâ what Katniss now realizes isnât so healthyâ way to show each other where they still need to toughen up. And as a twisted act of solidarity, that they both can acknowledge that they know the other still has wounds and hurts. Itâs an understanding of sorts. An odd one, but it works for them. Theyâre never sincere like this. When itâs serious itâs always deadpan and to the point, more of a salt coating than a sugar one, making it sting a little moreâ as if theyâre only playing it upâ that way itâs easier to brush off and pretend it doesnât hurt that much. Itâs what theyâve always done. And Katniss feels like she might be breaking it.
She says the rest anyways.
âI- I think they would be proud of you too. I know- I know this means a lot-â
âIâm gonna stop you right there sweetheart.â He holds up a hand. âJust- thatâs enough.â
Itâs a quite brisk brush off, almost rude in the way he nearly snaps it. But Katniss knows the reality is that being sincere with him hurts a little too much to handle, and thatâs why he reacts this way.
And then he surprises her. He decides to break their usual dance as well.
He steps forward and crushes her in a tight hug. He smells like smoke and sawdust and dirt. But itâs Haymitch. She hugs back, acutely aware that the last time they did this was over six years ago, just before the quell. Sheâd been the one in tears then.
âThank you.â He says quietly into the top of her hair, voice both soft and gruff in the same breath.
When he pulls back he does his best to hide the tear, making to wipe it like his eye was itchy. She doesnât point it out.
âOutta go finish that crib Peeta started. Make me a sandwich too, would ya? Iâm starving.â He quips like their moment never happened.
She rolls her eyes.
#the hunger games#everlark#fanfic#fanfiction#wip#snippet#post mockingjay#katniss everdeen#haymitch abernathy#swan upon leda#I am so soft for nice Haymitch and Katniss interactions they are SOOO#they make me so happy#I need everyone to know that it was after I wrote & posted this today that I found out about the new book#IM SO EXCITES FOR SUNRISE ON THE REAPING OMG
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Teen Wolf fandom you are the best requesters. I am kissing you all on the mouth
#I am SO EXCITED ABOUT ALL THESE OMG#someone just sent in a request about Isaac's crush wearing Scott's number at a game YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE THAT'S SOOO GOOOD#sundrop speaks#genuinely gonna try to clear all of these#fanfiction#teen wolf fanfiction
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[ OOC: HI GOODMORNING THANKS FOR ALL THE ASKS GUYS ??? I DIDNT THINK ID GET MORE THAN LIKE 2 OR SOMETHING :'D ]
#i will get to them as much as i can today !!!!! đđ#i am sooo excited for this omg !!!! :D#ooc â«
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THE NEW LIS GAME IS COMING OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY WHO CHEERED
#i am speaking#GENUINELY SO EXCITED WTFFF#I don't rlly mention it a lot but this series is one of my top 3 favorite game series' of all time#it's SOOO important to me aughh#im so excited omg :(
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do you have any writing wips youre working on??? :O
HI ANON!!! yes i do have a wip i'm currently devoting my life to :-3
i haven't gotten too far in the actual writing process, but i do have the basic storyline plotted, the world built (sort of), and character arcs vaguely planned (... sort of). it's coming together in my own way! this has definitely been a learning process, though -- getting up each day and choosing to write and create is HARD AS FUCK bro it's not even funny.
anyway enough of that, here is a little blurb of PROJECT AVIANCRY:
In a universe teetering on the edge of cosmic destruction, the ancient story erupts into life: two mercenaries, Nihk Aryeglow and Nyomi Rhedd, break their contract by protecting Cliff Tran, an amnesiac civilian whoâs undergoing the first stage of apotheosis. The trio, brought together by an unfortunate fate, embark on an admittedly paid quest to retrieve three fragments of an ancient artifact that holds the key to saving -- or destroying -- the Nexus System, the intergalactic hub for all known sentient life. With time running out and the fate of their universe hanging in the balance, the three must initiate the age-old prophetic journey and make sacrifices that will not only determine their own destinies but will mold the course of galactic history as well.
#forgot my ask tag#aviancry#writeblr#I SPENT SO LONG ON THIS BLURB OK and it's also such a rough draft. but it's the basic premise so i think it's okay for what it is LMAO#please feel free to send me more asks about my wips or whatever... i would love a chance to just talk about it with no filter and whatnot..#i am super excited for this project u have no idea!!! i've never done something like this before and each step i take is sooo exciting omg
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This website and its unhinged pathetic little men and yet next to no tribute is given to Floop and her insane pussy slayage...
#old shitty cgi like this is so nostalgic to me fr it could never be bad in my eyes#i prefer it even compared to todays cgi which is just real enough and yet not real enough#that it looks sooo fucking gross lol#as opposed to this shit...its so fucking cool and exciting omg#also the part where he gets all serene 'you can dream...my...dream...' is SO FUCKING FUNNY 2 me idk y#spy kids 2001#fegan floop#sir i protest i am not a merry man
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riddle would probably be sooo awkward with our first kiss omg ://) he probably stresses out about it a lot and isnt sure when it should happen... but eventually it just happens naturally :) and its perfecttt
#text#â„ïž#anyways... ive been imagining riddle being my study buddy and helping me with school :)#omg what if our first kiss happens during a study date!!!!#im really dreading this week + next week because i have sooo much schoolwork to do (T_T )#i have in person testing for 3 DAYS!!! next week and i am not excited for it -_-#im less worried about the test and more worried about well. going in person.....#especially because i have to be there at 8am which means i have to wake up SUPER early!!!#BUT my dad said we can do something fun after every day i do testing Yay :3
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thinking sooooo many thoughts rn
#tom is too cutesy patootsy its horrible!#hes like my pretty pretty princess.#hes so cutey#gaaahh#im sooo embarrassed talking abt this. but this is what rhis blog is for! so its fine#but AGH our 2 year annversary is tgis year... so crazy.....#its on july 14th i am so excited idk what im gonna draw for it#but omg i have to draw something.#but thats a few months away#anyway GAHHH t.om s.ervo my beloved.#hes so cute i love him soooo much#hes like so sweetie bunches#danny post#đčđŹ
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last few siken prompts are still spinning around in my head btw i just needed to put them in the washer and clean them off a bit you guys chose violence w them itâs all blood and dirt stains over there :( they just need a lil rinse and some lavender softener then theyâll be all ready 2 go :)
#think im gonna put them on the kitchen floor again i love having them on the kitchen floor <3#super drowning tho december pls be kind .. pls be gentle pls let a girl sleep !!!!#done at 5 today and am sooo excited about it .#said omg! itâs practically a day off!#girl what. pure delusion. ive already let them win but at least my tree is decorated :) my room is messy but thereâs a TREE so who#even cares yknow
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On my way to BERLIN!!!!!
#j travels#personal#berlin#I AM SOOO EXCITED#omg!!!!!!!#j talks#but damn#âïžâïžâïžđ„¶đ„¶đ„¶#it is soooo cold outside
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i maxxed the tags (what did i expect) but!!
what a soft piece ari đ„ș thank you for sharing this hurt/comfort piece w us!! i think satoru will always be a figure of strengthâbut i think itâs in part because thatâs how he brands himself to be around the people he cares about. heâll never truly share how he thinks and feels about things, will almost always downplay it really. but heâs always worrying, always aware and cautious, overthinking đ„ș and i felt that loads here!!
thereâs a shipwreck stuck between your ribs ; satoru gojo
synopsis; three times satoru sees you cry, and the understanding you gain of each other from it.
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, the synopsis speaks for itself i think, copious amounts of hurt/comfort, i just think heâd be so good at comforting u :ccc, also fluff!!, heâs addicted to calling u âbaby,â satoru gojo vs human emotion (he loses)
a/n; pls ignore the fact that 90% of my gojo fics are hurt/comfort ok we dont need to get into that <33 the writing in this one might be a lil rusty but im pretty fond of this gojo :â3
dim lights, buttery popcorn, and boredom.
the senses invading his mind are mellow, coaxing, a little tedious. all he can see are the buzzing lights before him, all he can hear is the insistent chewing of the people around him, and all he can feel is just that:
boredom.
satoru stifles a yawn, resting his cheek on the heel of his palm. heâs trying to pay attention â really, he is. trying to pay attention to the movie he picked out himself, after thoughtful consideration, one heâs been looking forward to watching with you all week. heâs trying his best. but, gosh, itâs just so boring.
or maybe he just doesnât have it in him today â with all these too-dim lights, too-loud popcorn-chewers, and the too-convoluted plot playing on the big screen in front of him. he has no idea whatâs happening, anymore, what scene this is supposed to be. some sob-story? he clocked out a while ago.
so, with nothing better to do â satoru decides to savour another view.
thatâs how it always goes. no matter the movie, no matter the snacks, whether youâre watching at home on the couch or a nearby movie theatre â eventually, when his eyelids begin to grow heavy, or when his attention span begins to falter, that blue-soaked gaze of his shifts. a moth to a flame, following his instincts. constantly looking over to see what kind of face you're making.Â
after all, your reactions are far more entertaining than any movie could ever hope to be. little sighs of exasperation, jolts and shivers down your spine, or a laughter so bubbly he canât resist leaning in for a kiss or ten â he loves it. adores it. lives and dies by it.Â
so satoru turns his head, and looks at you, knowing youâll save him from the boredom clutching at his subconscious.Â
and something in his chest constricts.
at first, he doesnât notice it. hungrily lapping over the expanse of your jaw, to your cheekbones, his gaze drinking in everything he can see. scanning your eyes for a hint of emotion; and he finds it. he finds it in something that glimmers in the dim lighting of the theatre, something that has his breath drawing back to the depths of his throat.
tears.
crystalline, dew-drawn, a fresh set of tears clinging to the edge of your lash line. theyâve yet to fall, but satoru sees them â he sees them and he doesnât know what to do.Â
tears.Â
tears?
youâre crying.
in the depths of your glassy eyes, he sees a fractured scene â playing against the scope of your iris, as the movie reflects off your pupils. thereâs a turmoil there, a sadness, one that has you covering your mouth with the front of your knuckle. and youâre crying.
satoru wants to tease you. he wants to lean over and purr against the shell of your ear, poke fun at you for being so emotional. such a little baby. what else is he supposed to do?
the tricky part is that he canât. he canât move, canât shape his voice into a purr, canât even speak. heâs frozen in place like a bug trapped in amber, stuck to his seat, unable to do anything but blink at you in what he thinks might be bewilderment.
his breath hitches â and thatâs all.Â
something about the sight of you makes him falter, makes him stop in his tracks. catches him off guard. he doesnât know what to do, doesnât recognize the feeling stirred deep within his chest, something discomforting and foreign. doesnât understand why his heart feels so itchy, all of a sudden.
then your eyes meet.
and you blink. once, then twice. eyes just a little wide, an embarrassed kind of surprise. he thinks you must be flustered, and heâs proven right when your gaze flees from his.
a mingle of words clog up at the base of his throat. say something, say something, say something. but he doesnât know what.Â
he wets his lips, preparing to part them, but before he can get the first syllable out you're leaning in. close. close enough that he feels your breath ghost against the shell of his ear, close enough that his heart starts skipping the way it always does when you press yourself against him like thatâs where you belong.
a whisper. itâs small, hushed, a little frail. but thereâs something else, too, laced together with the vowels â amusement.Â
âyou didnât tell me this was a sad movie.â
a pout plays at your lips, as you murmur your grievances. but then thereâs that amusement; itâs there when you pull back, in the crinkle of your sparkling eyes, the curve of your smile.Â
and satoruâs shoulders relax. stiffened bones melting. he exhales a breath he had no idea he was holding, and his heart feels at ease. a grin finds itâs way to his lips, wide, teasing, cheshire and sweet.Â
he leans a little closer, bumping his head against yours. gently. âi think youâre just sensitive, baby.â
his teasing is rewarded with a little huff, as your elbow meets his side. soft. everything you do is soft.Â
âoh, shut up,â you scoff. smiling. heâs so relieved that youâre smiling.Â
a moth to a flame, following his instincts, satoru brings you closer. an arm around your waist, pulling you into his orbit, until youâre practically sharing seats. searching for your hand â and he finds it, intertwining his long fingers with yours, just to give it a little squeeze.
(for some reason, he feels more protective than usual.)
he feels your gaze. questioning, maybe. but you melt into him quickly, with your head slumped against his shoulder, and his heart settles back into a sleepy rhythm. just watching the movie pass you by.
the dim lighting of the theatre casts a hazy shadow over your face, a tender desaturation, and his eyes stay glued to it when you arenât looking. the smell of popcorn hangs heavy in the air, salty and buttery, warm and sweet, and heâs almost grateful to feel that familiar boredom tug at his veins.
anything is fine. anything is better than that discomfort, that irritating itch.Â
satoru watches the movie flicker by, scene by scene, whispering commentary into your ear and stealing your popcorn with a satisfied hum. chuckling when you whisper-shout at him to cut it out!
he tries not to think of the glittering tears at your lash line, and almost succeeds.
rain clouds, cups of chamomile, and frustration.
it seeps out into the open air, engulfing your living room in a feverish haze. thick and suffocating; the scent of heavy rain, lukewarm tea, and that ugly, ugly feeling underneath his skin.
it pulses. it itches. and oh, how it aches.
satoru hates it. he hates feeling angry, feeling upset â hates when either of those emotions are in connection to you. hates it, hates it, hates it more than anything.
he does everything he possibly can to avoid it; his eyes are keen, always have been, and he can see when that thin line he shouldnât cross crawls a little too close for comfort. when the rubber band of your patience just snaps. he sees all your buttons, knows which ones not to push. he knows you.
and, more importantly, more than anything â nothing you do could ever make him angry at you.Â
(well, at least thatâs what he thought.)Â
satoruâs anger is a fickle thing, controlled, kept under wraps. itâs a slow process; it simmers, boils, a cup of chamomile brewed too long. and then it all but invades his senses. it never gets the best of him, never, but right now he can feel it â little pinpricks against his skin, a frustration that stirs his guts and has his eyes going cold.
satoru towers over you, like this. full height on display. not slouching or draping himself over furniture, but standing tall, and proud, and menacing. he isnât smiling, and thatâs all you need to know that heâs upset with you. his eyes are layered over with discontentment.Â
a sigh spills from his lips, a little gruff, unmistakably annoyed. it slices the silence of the room in half, and a shiver travels down your spine. he doesnât notice it. his voice has a rough edge to it, something firm. something that doesnât sound like it could come out of his mouth at all.
âdonât act like such a child.â
a flinch. or maybe more like a jolt; this time, he notices, but itâs too late. heâs in too deep, boiled water licking at his ankles, pulling him down. frustration nips at his skin, and he canât quite seem to push it away.
and youâre just so, so unaccustomed to it. unaccustomed to seeing him wear anything but a smile, unaccustomed to that cold gaze, usually nothing but warm and fond when it meets your own. this isnât like him.
itâs not like him at all.
swallowing thickly, you do your best to calm down. but before you can make any attempt to contain it, wetness begins to gather in the corners of your eyes. pooling, little droplets yearning to fall.
satoru notices them instantly. he sees that sad glimmer, framed by the murky darkness seeping in from beyond the curtains, accompanied by the symphony of pitter patter against the windowpane. tears, much like the rain beating down outside.
and his chest goes cold.
a tiny sniffle pushes past your lips, and the dam inside you begins to break â tears tripping over your lash line, rolling down your cheeks. cascading across your pretty face. the air fills with a sense of dread, and both of you seem to be thinking the exact same thing.
(oh, fuck.)
satoru notices, belatedly, that his throat has gone dry. that his heart feels itchy, again. it itches and itches but he canât do anything to soothe it, and your tears continue to fall.Â
his heart begins to crack. right down the middle, like a gash in the reflection of a puddle, right across his chest. it hurts.
an inhale, then an exhale. youâre still trying to keep it all together, grasping for control over your emotions, but itâs not going too well. the little breaths that escape your throat are shaky at best, hands trembling as you wipe the tears away with the front of your wrists. and your voice sounds a little like itâs about to crumble away.Â
âsorry,â you squeak, taking a step back. thereâs a silent panic in the gesture, one that makes satoru want to get down on his knees. âiâll just â iâll leave ââ
he wants to stop you. he needs to stop you. but he does nothing, nothing at all, even as you stumble out. leaving the haunting echo of tiny sniffles and tear-stained cheeks behind you.Â
satoru just stands there. once again, the sight of your tears seems to render him completely helpless. useless.
and he's frustrated, honestly. frustrated by the argument, by your tears, by his own guilt. heâs so frustrated he wants to claw his eyes out. he scratches at his forearm, but it does no good. all he can think of is your frightened little expression.
(he scared you.)
satoru slumps down on the couch, head in his hands, running rough fingers through his soft hair. itâs unruly by the time heâs done, and his bottom lip is bruised with teeth marks, and everything in the world feels so meaningless. so out of tune.
(he made you cry.)
a sigh. drawn out, tinged with exhaustion, bitter and battered like the swing of a baseball bat. he feels a little like he could throw up. itâs foreign, this emotion, suffocating. how long has it been since he genuinely felt this kind of shame?
the crack in his heart grows deeper, while youâre gone. more severe. every moment you spend outside of his vision makes him falter more and more, makes his desperation grow. desperate to plead for your forgiveness, to convince you not to leave. to wipe the tears away from your cheeks, delicately, the way you deserve. but he can do nothing but sit there, useless, repeating the same old phrase inside his mind.
heâll make it up to you.
and when you finally come back, having calmed down a bit, he does just that. youâre embarrassed, he can tell, a little meek. it makes him feel that discomforting emotion, again, that ache. the crack that only ever seems to deepen.
but he covers it all up with a smile. a little sheepish, more than a little forced, but he hopes you understand. hopes you can see his remorse, see a man who loves you, because he does.Â
so satoru takes you into his arms, softly, hands finding the small of your back. delicate, protective. a little whisper spilling from his lips.Â
ââm sorry, baby. i didnât mean it.â
and itâs not enough. he knows it isnât. but he does what he can â even when it just ends up clumsy, teasing, bordering on something that most would interpret as insincere. all he can do is coddle you. shower you in hugs and kisses, gifts and praises. he hands it out like candy, eager hands finding yours, everything spilling out of his chest all at once.Â
thereâs a desperation to it that isnât lost on you.
but it works. heâll make it up to you; he swears. and he dotes on you until youâre too embarrassed to be sad anymore, apologizes until his throat runs dry. until heâs sure you believe him.Â
he brews you another cup of chamomile, stirred to perfection, warm enough to make up for the shiver he sent down your spine. the rain beating down on your windows serves as a constant reminder of his failure, and satoru does his best to ignore it. swallowing whatâs left of his frustration, focusing on you.
anything to see you smile again. anything to wash away the red tint to your eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. anything to hear you laugh, to get you to feel safe around him again.Â
(anything to make him forget the sight of those tears rolling down your cheeks.)
panic, panic, panic.
itâs all he can feel, all he can think, the only emotion his muddled mind can cling to. heâs in pure, sincere, genuine panic, and you arenât saying a thing. canât bring yourself to.
arms wrapped around his waist, tightly, you hide away in the crook of his neck. clutching the fabric of his shirt, burrowing your face deeper into his warmth â and youâre not just crying.
youâre downright sobbing.
satoru knew something was off the moment you fell into his embrace, suddenly, tackling him into a hug so desperate it left him reeling. a kind of desperation he isnât used to, from you.
he knew something was wrong.Â
he knew even before he heard it; your choking sobs, those shaky, heaving breaths. muffled into the cotton of his shirt, his uncertain arms around you.
they break his heart.
âhey, heyâŠâ thereâs a soothing lilt to his voice, awfully delicate. sweet like molten honey, almost enough to hide the panic. âwhatâs wrong?â
satoru holds you to his chest, safe and secure, cradling you protectively. as if shielding you from the world â from whatever or whoever got you like this. as if youâd crumble into dust, otherwise.
he tries to calm down, but his mind is spinning like a broken clock, and your silence doesnât help. youâre trying to respond; he knows you are, but you just canât get the words out. any attempts only make you cry harder.
a shake of your head is all he gets â and itâs not much, but satoruâs learned to make a lot out of a little.Â
so he continues to hold you, hiding his worry, tucking his anxiety away somewhere you wonât be able to see. he curses, inwardly, grasping blindly for conclusions â for some divine guidance. how is he supposed to deal with this?
(how long has it been since he felt so very useless?)
gentle. thatâs the approach he takes, finally, hiding his nervosity. he rocks you back and forth, just a little, like heâs lulling you to sleep; his warm hands finding the small of your back, the back of your head. cradling you so close you hear his rapid heartbeat by your ear.
soothing whispers. murmured into your hair, so soft they seem to melt once they slip from his tongue, all honey and devotion. affection so palpable you taste it in the air, from the breaths he exhales.Â
âitâs fine. iâm here, iâm here⊠iâve got you.â
he doesnât know what heâs doing, not really, but it seems to work. because you calm down, after a while, just sniffling into his neck and letting him soothe you. sobs and unstable heaves, turning into whimpers and shaky breaths. clinging to him all the while; so desperate for comfort, for him.
it makes him feel so, so desperate to protect you, to wash every single one of your worries away.
itâs unbearable, this aching desire. like a great, insatiable, unnamed something deep within the caverns of his chest, clawing at his ribcage, snarling and hissing, itching to break out so it can open its maw and devour you both.
(itâs ugly. itâs grotesque. it wants to keep you safe so badly it might kill him for it.)
a coo. sad, dripping with care, a comforting tone that he hopes youâll find soothing. he smooths his palm down the back of your head, heavy, doting. it hurts so much to see you hurt.
âmy babyâŠ.â satoru exhales, a little shaky. but he smiles, and he hopes you can hear it, hopes itâll help mend the pain in your chest. âwhatâs got you this upset, hm? you're worrying me, hereâŠâ
a broken sniffle. the guilt eats at you, gnaws at your bones, and all you can do is hide away in the crook of his neck. apologizing, your voice no more than a tremor of a breath.
ââm sorryâŠâ
and satoru thinks his heart shatters. he can practically hear the crash, feel the broken, useless little pieces dig into his skin.
his arms travel down to your hips, steady, and he lifts you up. just for a second, just so he can plop down on the floor with you in tow â keeping you snuggled into his neck. seated on his lap with your legs around his waist, like youâre his baby koala.
âshh, it's okay,â he soothes, a grounding rumble of his chest right by your ear. heâs got you enveloped, wrapped up in his buzzing warmth, and all you can feel is him. âyouâre okay. no matter what it is, i'll take care of it, alright? you can rely on me.â
a moment passes.Â
satoru clears his throat. nervous, suddenly. âyou know that, right?â
all you can give him is a shaky nod, but itâs enough. he sighs, in palpable relief, still rubbing circles into your back. âokay,â he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt, tracing little shapes into your bare skin. âgood.â
he isnât sure how long you spend there, on the floor, entirely focused on comforting you. washing away all your sadness, with every gentle caress, every soothing murmur of there, there⊠every little stutter of his heartbeat next to yours.
and when youâve finally calmed down, melting under his touch and into his skin, arms going lax around his neck â satoru takes a breath. collecting himself, so you donât have to. acting like his heart isnât still a mess of crushed glass.
âyou okay now?â he coos, drawing absentminded hearts into the skin of your back. his voice is teasing, but warm, spilling from his tongue and into your ear. deep and smooth. âalmost gave me a heart attack, baby.â
he feels the way your grip around him tightens, just a smidge, and he hears the weak little breath you draw in. your voice is still shaky, and it makes him want to rearrange the world, stitch those broken vowels back together.Â
(he doesnât like how irrational it is, this insatiable something. how it makes him want to bend the rules of the universe, just to see you smile. a dangerous temptation.)
âiâm sorry,â you croak, clinging to him like a shipwreck to a shore. âitâs not â not a big deal, âm justâŠâÂ
satoru pulls back. just a little bit, making sure your arms and legs stay in their rightful place, curled around his neck and waist. making sure the two of you stay connected.
then he pinches your cheek.
âdonât apologize,â he quips, a playful frown on his face. soft, a vague furrow of his brows. like heâs scolding you.Â
it makes you wince, your eyes downcast. you look so meek. a little like a kicked puppy, glassy eyes glancing up at him in search of comfort.
satoru clicks his tongue. âand donât look at me like that, either.âÂ
he boops your nose, playful, doting, and you exhale weakly. itâs small, more breath than a real laugh, but youâre almost smiling, and â
itâs a start. itâs something.
satoru coos, voice dripping with warmth, sickeningly sweet. it seeps from his fingertips when he cradles your cheek in his palm, rubbing circles into the puffy skin beneath your eyes. thereâs a mirth in his own, crinkled at the edges, tucked into that blue shade, something glazed over with pure adoration.
âthereâs that smile.âÂ
he leans forward, closer, to press a kiss against the bridge of your nose, eyelashes fluttering. tickling your skin. you fall further into his embrace and he makes no move to resist, wouldnât do it even if he physically could. even if he had the strength to let you go.
then he broaches the subject. hesitant. tactful, careful, delicate â he tries to remember how it works. how to handle something fragile. he thinks of those boxes you carried last week, little porcelain cups. heavy in his arms. he thinks of the way you jab his side with your elbow; gentle, always gentle, even though thereâs never any need.
he thinks of you, and it all comes easy. thatâs how it always goes.
âwanna talk about it?â he asks, softly. fingers treading through your hair, scratching softly at your scalp. it makes you melt, a little. clearing your throat.
âitâs nothing, really,â you mumble, tiny, seeking respite in the warmth that seeps from his body. speaking with a raspy voice, a hoarse throat, all tired out after crying. ânothing big, anywayâŠâÂ
a moment passes, before you continue. âi guess it's just been a rough week,â you admit, a sigh slipping from your lips, tinged with pure exhaustion. âjust little things piling up. âm okay now.âÂ
a hum. satoru clears his throat.
âanything i can do?â
(please let me help.)
but you only shake your head. âyouâve already done enough,â you assure him, leaning into his touch. âthink i just needed to get it all out, yâknow?â
a beat. an itch. satoru holds you tight, a little tighter than he should. gentle, he reminds himself. but he needs you close enough to feel the flutter of your heartbeat, close enough to delude himself that youâve merged together. closer isnât close enough.
he gnaws at his bottom lip, teeth sinking into the flesh. pulling words out from the back of his throat, uncertain. âiâm always here,â he settles on. âif thereâs anything you need, come straight to me. okay?â
a frown plays at your lips. youâre silent, for a while, until he hears you mumble beneath your breath.
âi donât want to bother you so much, thoughâŠâ
ââ itâs not a bother.â
the words spill into the air, a little more firm than he meant to sound. but he means them.
âiâm serious. if you ever need help, with anything, come find me. iâm yours,â satoru inhales, deep, his chest moving in tune with the breath. youâre carried along with it, as if being lulled to sleep, following the steady pattern of his lungs.Â
then he exhales. in, and out, and with it comes a promise. âif anyone makes you cry, iâll get rid of them.â
he says it casually, so casually that you assume itâs a joke, a bout of breathless giggles pushing past your lips. the sound has his own curling up, and he doesnât have the heart to correct you. has enough tact to know that this might not be the best moment to let you know that heâs honestly a little terrified of how far heâd be willing to go to keep you safe and happy.Â
but youâre smiling, finally, laughing. and that matters more than anything. when he closes his eyes, he thinks he can even feel the telltale signs that his heart is picking itself back up, gluing jagged shards into a shape that resembles you.
"that's scary!â you gasp, amusement bubbling up inside your throat. âyouâd go to jail for me?â
satoru huffs. âbold of you to assume iâd get caught,â he tuts, a smug smile on his face. it makes you giggle, again, and he feels like a god.
âokay, okay,â you nose at his neck, breathing him in, strawberry lotion and laundry detergent filling your senses. âplease donât kill anyone on my behalf, though.â
âno promises.â
âsatoruâŠâ
slowly, steadily, his heart begins to stitch itself together. it helps that youâre there, he thinks. helps that youâre pressed up against him, that youâre holding him, like heâs the safest thing in the world. like you trust him.
(the word tastes like molten honey and luscious berries, sickly-sweet on his tongue. he gulps it down hungrily.)
itâs healing. the weight of your arms around him, the breaths that brush against his neck. he holds you to keep you together, intact, to keep himself together. a shipwreck and a shore â he just isnât sure which one of you is which. but your jagged edges fit just right with his own.
âi donât like seeing you cry.â
you blink. gazing up at him, with a contemplative look in your eyes. it melts into something a little too close to guilt for his liking. shame.
ââ but i still want you to let me see you like that.â satoru smiles, with a tilt of his head. snowy tufts of hair falling across his face. âis that weird?â
a moment passes. then you hum.
âno,â you exhale, a little breathless. smiling, somewhat weak, but still enough to have his heart skipping a beat. âi love that about you, satoru.â
âhuh?â he gapes at you â blinking dumbly. âlove what? that i want to see you sob into my chest?â
âthat you try,â you stifle a yawn, sleepily nuzzling into him, all tuckered out from crying. âeven when it makes you a little uncomfortable.â
satoru stills.Â
silence fills the space between you. thereâs nothing more to say. his tongue isnât really cooperating with him, anyhow â all tied up. so he leaves a kiss on the top of your head, and doesnât say a word about the tremor running through his chest.Â
he hates seeing you cry. hates how powerless it makes him feel, how useless. hates the fact that he canât always protect you from the world, from himself.
but you let him see you like that.
he thinks of your tears, crystalline and glassy, like translucent marbles on a summer shore â and sees the trust instead of the sorrow. he thinks of your tearstained face, meek and feeble, and knows itâll always be enough to break his heart to pieces.Â
he thinks of you, and tells himself that itâs worth it; just as long as he gets to bring that pretty little smile back to life.Â
#jjk#satoru#omg i am so excited i finally got to this ari đ„čđ„č and an x times kind of fic too oh my heart!!!!!!#oh heâs soooo into you đ„ș how his gaze always gravitates towards you i am sOOO my heart is SOOO#âlives and die by itâ PLSSS reading this is like reading it thru rose tinted glasses!!! his rose tinted glasses!! like a movie in a haze đ„č#your writing is always so incredibly descriptive ari and i love love love that because it paints the scene so so well!!#it describes his emotions so well too â the part on him watching your tears is so pretty âcrystalline & dew-drawnâ HOW PRETTY#the way the movie reflects on your irises â i love that image so much!!!! its such a vivid picture#satoru not knowing what to do when youre near; his emotions going haywire UUUGH forever a fave concept#and WHEN HE SPEAKS WKNDJEJD I THINK URE JUST SENSITIVE BABY HELLLLLOOOOOSUSJDJISJSJS#âeverything you do is softâ MY GOSH thatâs SO CUTE#anything is better than that irritating itch :((((((( GAWSH i love him#i LOOOOOVE the little descriptors at the start and how they set the mood for the scene omg love love loce#comparing his anger to a cup of chamomile??? oh my god i LOVE that how it simmers and boils omfg ari ur mind#and an angry satoru? oh my god take me tf out LOL IDK iF I CAN TAKE THAT LMAO#slicing the silence in the room into half is an AMAZING description ari omfg#âdont act like such a childâ MY jaw DROPPED oh my god ari if he ever said that to me id actually cry#that oh fuck is so so loud and i love love love how you described that scene ari omg its so vivid and i could feel his and the readers#emotions thru it !!! i wish i could copy paste it properly but im rdg from my phone rn so đ„Č#the idea that he hurts when you hurt is sooo oh my god im such a sucker for that and i think its so true!!#because as much as youre unaccustomed to him acting this way; heâs just as unaccustomed to treating you like this too :((((#oh my god him biting his lips to death :(( everything is meaningless . out of tune :(#see a man who loves you because he does :((( WAAAAH ILL SAWB RN#:(((( it makes him want to rearrange the the world & stitch those broken vowels back together HOW PRETTY#the sheer panic he feels at you sobbing bc he just doesnt know what to do#oh god :(( he thinks of you when he wants to handle you gently :(( bc thats all u rlly are :(( gentle :((#and its insane omg how kinda crazed u can feel he is abt u too. how uve managed to write in the extent of what heâd do just for y#i love the lil banter after đ„ș how he tries to keep things lighthearted still bc thats him!! thats satoru!!!#that dialogue is so tender âi dont like seeing u cry but i still want you to let me see u like thatâ UGH i love that#:((((( and its that act of. he doesnt like it but heâll brave it for u!! i love that line of him knowing that itll break his heart
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i wish i could watch the sabatek semi rn because omggg what's happening??
#the thing is i am using my brother in law's account to watch tennis matches#and he has a football game to watch rnđ€§#i can't even say anything because i AM in fact freeloading#but still omg this match might be more exciting that the final fjskdjsld#i love iga SOOO much but...#i think i would murder an entire family for a sabadosa final#like!!!!!
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