#as opposed to this shit...its so fucking cool and exciting omg

[pissfaggit]

This website and its unhinged pathetic little men and yet next to no tribute is given to Floop and her insane pussy slayage...

[wooahaes]

guess who kept their word and drafted which idols would fit in what fire emblem class.. its me i did. anyways i kinda took classes from the games you said u have played before. and sorry it was a lot i got rlly excited abt it and did a google doc (;° ロ°) ! if these is overwhelming no need to answer the ask 😵‍💫

NICO UR BRAIN AAAA <333 i am so sorry for the long reply thats abt to follow

also omg you didnt have to limit urself like that in any way!! im always open to reading abt other games sdkfhdsf ur so sweet for that tho!! one day i'll get around to playing three houses and other games tbh

i love the vibe that reader is just some rando they picked up. seungcheol picks them up like ok ur the protag now and readers like im the What.

PALADIN COUPS.... ur mind omg. paladin suits him sooo well holy shit + his reclasses!!! <3 i can imagine him being some stern leader of his army but having his soft side for ppl. literally imagine his support convos... just flustered paladin man who goes from this imposing figure to a whiny husband whos so in love w u... <3

omg. wonwoo's base classes all fit him so well tbh. i can def see archer the most if im honest since he fits the quiet stereotypical archer vibe but thief and priest wonwoo UGH <33333 im in love.

YOOO WYVERN RIDER JUN??? mage is also cool but god theres something So cool abt wyvern rider jun... he would take naps w his wyvern and be so doting toward them :( just a sweet man. he probably also has snacks for both him And his wyvern... i feel it in my soul....

omg. jeonghans classes... pegasus knight jeonghan is invading my thoughts rn. thief would also fit SO well but i am staring at pretty man on his pegasus looking radiant <3 same w joshua tbh. two pretty besties on their pegasi... ugh my heart <3 i cannot handle this

ooo troubadour or priest dk is not something i would have expected!!! i do love it tho <3 sunshiney dk who honestly heals u a lil just by smiling...

no one look at me over mercenary vernon... no one look at me rn. i cant. i cant. im not strong enough to process the idea of rugged mercenary vernon. vernon with a sword... clutches chest n collapses... god............ men w swords........ anyone w swords actually tbh if i see a woman with a sword im gonna lose my mind bc oh fuck thats hot

ENEMY MINGYU... finally i can beat his ass for being tall. i love his recruitment conditions being so varied just bc it feels like hes just looking for a reason to leave the opposing side. he just looks at mc like man i wanna be over there but i gotta be impressed first :/ or i gotta be flirted with. or i gotta see my best bro. (wonwoo voice you can be flirted with by mc if y ou join our side)

SAMURAI DINO.................. i am listening. dino w sword........ <3 i have no more thoughts im just kinda thinking abt hinata fates rn. honestly they're the same person bc they're both cute losers. nico ur MIND <3

KITSUNE HOSHI KITSUNE HOSHI KITSUNE HOSHI.................... I AM LOOKING !!!!! did i ever mention i did romance both kaden and keaton lmao theyre cute

spear fighter woozi omg... i imagine his supports would have something to do with singing no matter what his class is. just at least a lil. just a lil.

ENEMY MINGHAO AND SEUNGKWAN??? ok minghao i can understand because i think he'd be a cool enemy, esp if he's someone you have to earn the respect of. BUT SEUNGKWAN??? omg. sniper seungkwan too... he could murder. and he WILL....also god. i imagine it being a serious convo, but my brain just went "vernon just walks up to him and goes "hey dude, what the hell?" and then shoves him over." vernon voice wadda hell bulnosaur...

ok i admittedly dont know anything abt pretty much anyone here except vaguely soobin and beomgyu but :0 based off my limited knowledge abt beomgyu, his classes seem fitting sdkfhsdf i feel like i've seen stuff abt him like. being kinda trickster-y before but i might be wrong!!

i love how much thought u put into all of these!! its so cool to read though omg <3 thank u for sharing!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 286: VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “what’s the record for most consecutive bone breaks within the span of a single minute” and, without waiting for an answer, proceeded to unleash roughly 17 Smashes onto Tomura. Kacchan was all “THAT DOES IT, I’M TAKING THE REINS OF THIS SHITSHOW” and carried Endeavor and Shouto up to where the action was so Endeavor could hit Tomura with a Prominence Burn. AFO was all “Tomura would you rather burn to death or let me take over your body” and Tomura was all “...” and so AFO TOOK OVER and was all “STABBITY STABBITY” and used his Stabbing Quirk to do some Good Old Fashioned STABBIN’. First he stabbed Endeavor, and then he was all “hee and now I’m gonna stab Deku”, but Kacchan was all “SIR THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT RIVAL” and so he rushed on in AND GOT HIMSELF STABBED INSTEAD. And so basically THIS PAST WHOLE WEEK HAS BEEN A RIDE, LET ME TELL YOU.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “sup Deku lemme just downplay how I totally took this fatal blow for you just now” before he dramatically passes out and is caught by Todoroki “BTDUBS I CAN FLY NOW” Shouto, who is also carrying his dad because the kids really are just doing it all, here. AllForRaki Tomura For One is all “HAHA BAKUGOU IS PRETTY DUMB”, at which point Deku just LOSES IT ENTIRELY and ASCENDS INTO A NEW PLANE OF FURY LIKE A LITTLE GREEN RAGE BUDDHA. But then like two seconds later Tomura is all “ANYWAY, SO” and FUCKING TOUCHES DEKU’S FACE, CAUSING THE TWO OF THEM TO ASTROPROJECT INTO THE FREAKY OFA/AFO MINDSCAPE BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS BANANAS. Vestige!AFO is all “reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated but aren’t you glad I saved your life though, Tomura”, while Tomura is all “!!” because he’s hopefully starting to get A Clue, and meanwhile Deku just stands there watching all “what the fuck.” The chapter ends with SHIMURA MCFUCKING NANA showing up all, “HI, I HEARD SOME BITCHES WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC, AND THEY DIDN’T INVITE ME.” Go on, Nana. Give ‘em hell.

you guys. I’m not normally one to take pleasure in another human being’s misfortune. BUT THAT SAID, there are exceptions to every rule, and so let’s just say certain events have transpired early this morning which have PUT ME IN A VERY, LET’S JUST SAY, NOT-TERRIBLE MOOD which this chapter will hopefully improve upon!!

oh my god Deku’s one non-fucked-up eye that he still has control over is SO WIDE YOU GUYS

hmm I know I shouldn’t be all (゜▽゜) while the two of them are all (； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) ... and yet here we are. btw I’m worried tumblr’s formatting will ruin those two emojis which I worked so hard to get just right so I’m gonna repost them on another line here just in case

(； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) that’s them. Kacchan and Deku. my boys 

HERE COMES THE CHEESY “JUST GOT STABBED BETTER PLAY IT OFF ALL COOL!!!” ONE LINER OH MY GOD

(ETA: really love how my son, with what for all he knows could be his dying breaths, decides that the absolute most important thing is to preserve his selfish asshole facade so as not to fuck up his status quo with his rival. “LOOKEE HERE I GOT MYSELF ALL STABBED AND SHIT FOR YOU, BUT I TOTALLY JUST DID IT BECAUSE I WAS TIRED OF YOU GETTING ALL THE COOL HERO MOMENTS” yeah, that’s right! SELFLESS MOTIVATIONS, WHAT ARE THOSE sob.

also tbh I’m glad they didn’t delve any further into their feelings right here and now because this really isn’t the place or time for it sadly. WE WILL JUST PUT THOSE ON HOLD UNTIL AFTER THE ARC ENDS, when they are all recovering from their various wounds and traumas and have time to catch up and have some long-overdue heart-to-hearts. it deserves its own chapter or two or three. maybe time to head back to Ground Beta once they’re healthy? “healthy” perhaps being a relative term given their current condition fjsdjkf.)

by the way it looks from here like only the ones through his torso and shoulder actually hit, so that’s something at least. WE’VE LOST ENOUGH LEGS TODAY. I need to conserve my remaining puns

MEANWHILE TOMURA IS HAVING A CRISIS

ARE YOU MAD AT YOUR EVIL DAD TOMURA. HE JUST WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER WILL HE, THAT GUY

anyway so it looks like Kacchan might have caught a break here because AFO/Tomura is pulling the stabby quirk activation tendril things back out! rip, “Kacchan vs. Deku part 3″ theories

p.s. I got ALL CAUGHT UP IN THE DRAMA and thus glossed over the chapter title which is “one among us”! hmmm this is definitely AFO/OFA related, calling it now. ooh lord I am excited

NOW MY SON IS DRAMATICALLY FALLING

THE BLOOD FROM THE MOUTH OOF NOT GOOD AHHHH. DEKU’S FACE AHHHH. HIS BODY JUST WENT TOTALLY LIMP DID HE PASS OUT AHHHH. SOMEONE CATCH HIM!!

BY HIS FOOT, SHOUTO?!

well NOT EXACTLY THE MOST GRACEFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN, but we’ll allow it because HOLY SHIT BOY. ARE YOU ALREADY CARRYING YOUR DAD ON TOP OF THAT?? HORIKOSHI PLEASE CONFIRM, IS TODOROKI MOTHERFUCKING SHOUTO FUCKING FLYING AROUND UNBALANCED AF ON HIS ONE FLAMEY LEG, CARRYING HIS 500 LB POP AND NOW HIS FLOPPY PASSED OUT BEST FRIEND AS WELL?!? HOLY SHIT TODO?!?!

LADIES AND GENTLEFRIENDS OF THE VILLAIN STANDOM, FEAR NOT, TOMURA’S HAIR IS THE FIRST THING THAT GREW BACK LOL

even before his eyeballs kfldkakjk. which, btw, how does he even know what’s going on right now? “this fight has shed a lot of useless blood” sdkmkjl okay well (1) WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT, AGAIN??, (2) SERIOUSLY THOUGH, HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU STABBED?? ARE YOU EFFECTIVELY BLIND FOR THE NEXT FEW SECONDS HERE, WHAT’S GOING ON, and lastly (3) I seriously can’t tell if this is AFO or Tomura talking right now. or are they going back and forth?? help this is so confusing

HEY

THE DISRESPECT. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW KACCHAN ANGST IS NEVER USELESS!!

AND NOW HE’S BACK TO THE STABBING JFKJLKJLF I AM NOT TOO HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW MISTER

okay and now we’re cutting to some quick panels of the unconscious Aizawa, Gran, and Ryuukyuu, along with the “still conscious but in a very real sense might as well not be counted” Manual who is really having a day, that poor guy

anyway but then there’s also some dialogue boxes being all “if you act out of rage your power will respond accordingly, the most important part is to keep your head clear.” which I’m like 90% sure is Deku/OFA related, but honestly NOTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IS CLEAR SO FAR YOU GUYS. except for the Shouto-is-a-badass part anyway

HMM YEP I’M GONNA GO WITH DEKU-RELATED

it must be a callback to some line I’m forgetting. maybe Lariat explaining Blackwhip to him that one time. probably should have been in italics if it was a flashback quote, but hey. anyways the point is Deku is absolutely, 100% following this advice to the letter (/s)

(ETA: yep I’m almost positive this is the same quote from chapter 213. “listen, when you use this power out of anger, it’ll really start working for you. what really matters is controlling your heart.” which is still one of the weirdest pieces of advice in the entire series, but basically I think he was just trying to tell him it’s okay to get mad, so long as it’s calmly mad. like, controlled fury, as opposed to this white-hot berserker nonsense he’s been running on as of late. anyways I do still love me some shounen rage all the same but Lariat has a point.)

...

it took me a minute to realize THOSE WERE DEKU’S EYES. holy --

AND ANOTHER MINUTE TO REALIZE THAT DEKU FUCKING GRABBED THE ACTIVATION TENDRIL WITH HIS BUSTED UP OFA HANDS AND BIT INTO IT WITH HIS RABID OFA JAWS AND SNAPPED THAT SHIT LIKE A FUCKING KITKAT KLJLKSJDLKJFLK WOOOOOOOO I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT GODDAMN. POWER MOVE

(ETA: this is a two-page spread omg. I didn’t even realize at first. this scan ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT DO THIS BADASS PAGE ANY KIND OF JUSTICE but I can’t wait to see the real deal on Sunday holy shit.)

LMAO

DEKU RAGED SO HARD HE TURNED INTO AN ANGRY GHOST SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FKLSKG

(ETA: he actually looks a bit like the Vestiges/Kurogiri tbh.)

meanwhile Tomura basically has the exact same face I would have had in his position. yeah for real man. I don’t even know

p.s. WHEN will people learn to STOP INSULTING KACCHAN IN DEKU’S PRESENCE. WHEN, I ASK!!

WHAT IN THE CINNAMON TOAST FUCK

if this was a physical page I was holding I would have FLUNG THAT SHIT AWAY LIKE THERE WAS A SPIDER CRAWLING ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK

HOT DAMN. well uh. so that’s SUPER DISTURBING, what a lovely panel of Tomura’s melted face slowly growing back while his ears lag behind, and meanwhile that little scar that had been growing and growing and which at one point certain people (ME) thought might turn him into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERLY instead RIPS HIS FACE IN HALF to reveal the KINDER EGG AFO SURPRISE UNDERNEATH AHHHHH TAKE IT BACK

THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T LET MAD SCIENTISTS PERFORM EXPERIMENTS ON YOU, KIDS. PSA. JUST SAY NO

-- NO!!!

HORIKOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck

oh my god. I almost would have rather cut away right after the Kacchan incident than freaking cut away NOW of all times, jesus. THAT’S JUST A BITCH MOVE, IS WHAT THAT IS. if we don’t cut back within the next three pages I SWEAR TO GOD

anyway so GUESS WHAT GIGANTOMACHIA’S DOING YOU GUYS. if you guessed “the exact same thing he was doing last time we saw him” then you are absolutely right, because it was actually PRETTY EASY TO GUESS

anyway but he says he detects “master’s scent”, except that there’s apparently two of them. interesting! one in Tartarus and one in Jakku, right? lol Horikoshi has burned me so many times already with his excruciatingly slow reveal of this that I’m not gonna hold my breath just yet, but I’ll get the hype train warmed up JUST IN CASE

okay so meanwhile in downtown Jakku, the heroes are handing off the civilians over to the police and rescue forces while they prepare to engage with “the villain”, by which I assume they mean Gigantomachia. does this mean Iida and Ochako are gonna fight Machia you guys omg

OOH!!!

“PLEASE INFORM THEM ON FOOT” well I know a certain SPEEDY BOI who would be PERFECT for that job oh my. make haste, Tenyar FastmLeggy

WAIT WHICH WAY ARE THEY HEADING

ARE THEY HEADING TOWARDS MACHIA OR TOWARDS DEKU AND AFO

so rather than answering my VERY PERTINENT question, Ochako is instead spending an entire page thinking about how their complete clusterfuck of a life keeps getting exponentially worse all the time! well but she’s not wrong though

NOW SHE’S ALL “GUYS...!” and, rather than explaining ANYTHING AT ALL, Horikoshi is again cutting back to THIS, OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: good thing Kacchan wasn’t awake to see his dramatic “I’ll just get myself impaled for Deku’s sake” plan result in this outcome ALL OF TWENTY SECONDS LATER smdh.)

I ACTUALLY PREFER MY DEKUS NON-CRUMBLED, THANKS. ALSO JUST ON A SIDE NOTE, POOR SHOUTO THOUGH. THE LAST NINETY SECONDS OR SO HAVE BEEN ENOUGH NIGHTMARE FUEL FOR A LIFETIME HAVEN’T THEY

so now he’s all “MIDORIYA!!!” because OF COURSE HE IS. his best friend just got impaled, and his dad too, and now he fully expects to see his other best friend crumble to dust right before his eyes holy shit. T R A U M A ™

-- !!!

somehow in the excitement of the moment I forgot his actual goal for a sec lol. meaning I instantaneously switched from HORRIFIED to GRINNING LIKE A MANIAC :D :D :D come on OFA time to show him what’s what

AND NOW WE’RE SWITCHING OVER TO EVERYONE’S FAVORITE TRIPPY DREAM LANDSCAPE FOR ADDITIONAL DRAMA, WELL OKAY

I’M ON BOARD WITH THIS, WHATEVER. also it’s becoming increasingly apparent that Deku is in fact nekkid underneath that mystical cloud bs, so let’s hope one of his remaining yet-to-be-unlocked quirks is a pants-conjuring quirk lulz

“this place...” yeah we all fucking know what this place is son, let’s get on with this. by my count we’ve only got four pages left so PLEASE BUDGET THEM WISELY

OH MY

holy shit. I have so many screaming thoughts about this lol but I just want to keep on reading lkjlkjlkjl okay I’ll come back later and edit them in, how’s that

OR MAYBE I’LL JUST RANT ABOUT THEM NOW GODDAMMIT

shit. okay let me just try and sum this up as quick as I can

so just in case it wasn’t already crystal clear, AFO’s soul being roommates with Tomura’s seems to be just about 100% confirmed now. good for you, All For One For All theory!! the “Kacchan loses his quirk” theory died so that you might live on in glory

AFO does seem to have almost fully taken control now. it looks like Tomura’s still fighting back, but AFO clearly has the upper hand now if their body language is any indication. Tomura on his knees with AFO calmly holding him down and ignoring his struggles... not looking too good for him at the moment

people seem to have somewhat lost sight of this in the midst of the great “heroes vs. villains Who Is Right Who Is Wrong What Are Morals” debate of 2020, but just a friendly reminder that AFO is in fact responsible for 100% of all of Tomura’s suffering from pretty much the moment he was born up till this very moment we’re now witnessing!! like, you can go ahead and blame Nana and Gran and The Complacent Apathy Of Hero Society and whatever the fuck else from here till Sunday, but All for One is the reason Kotarou was orphaned. All for One is almost certainly the reason why the seemingly quirkless Tenko suddenly just magically developed THE MOST FUCKED UP QUIRK OF ALL TIME at the worst possible moment. All for One is probably the reason why no one helped Traumatized Baby Tenko in the immediate aftermath (I can and likely will write a separate post about this in the near future). All for One is definitely the reason why no one helped Tenko at any point after that. All for One is the reason why Tenko grew up all fucked in the head (“HERE’S YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S HANDS, MERRY CHRISTMAS”), and the reason why he grew up blaming Heroes and Society rather than the sole person who was actually responsible who was literally standing right in front of him the entire time. and lastly, All for One is the reason why Tomura has now been manipulated into unknowingly sacrificing his own body and possibly even his mind. so THANKS A LOT FOR THAT. more like jerk for one amiright

basically what I’m trying to say is that Deku and Tomura are not actually enemies here, and they never have been. the two of them have a common enemy, and I’m convinced Tomura’s story is about him eventually coming to realize this. and this looks to be the first step towards that, for two reasons. one, because AFO is finally starting to out himself to Tomura as the rat bastard he has always been. and two, because Deku is catching a glimpse of this now for the very first time. up until now he didn’t have a damn clue lol. but this is now something for him to file away in the back of his mind, and perhaps follow up on at a later date, once all of this craziness finally subsides and he has some time to process

anyway, so that’s basically it! tl;dr AFO is the final villain and unless I’m very much mistaken, this scene is going to finally start to set that up. let’s read on!

OMG

NANA?!?

lKDSJFLKSHGLISHDOGIHOLRKL

NOOOOOO I can’t believe it fucking ended there I can’t fucking believe it, fuck everything

smdh. what a place to end it. didn’t confirm a damn thing. not even whose mental landscape all of this is actually taking place in! like, don’t mind me though Horikoshi, it’s not like THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGES ON THIS QUESTION OR ANYTHING except oh wait it really kind of does. kljkj

but seriously. because if it’s Deku’s mind, it means that Tomura’s attempt to take his quirk wasn’t successful. but if it’s Tomura’s mind, though... well... hhhhhhkhfff

or it could be both, I guess. more of that “AFO and OFA are the same quirk and thus linked” goodness. oh man. anyways stay tuned for next week when Nana presumably helps Deku out with the rest of that black fog and also hopefully finds him some pants. or maybe Nana can just go fight AFO herself. a little payback for everything he’s done to her protege and to her grandson. either way I CAN’T WAIT omg. VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO

[bubbled-clouds]

hey bee! i’m supposed to be sleeping but i just need you to know how happy you make me? (and you’re worth more than what you do for others, like i appreciate you just for being you, but often you being you happens to involve being funny or kind or creative and i appreciate that)

if i had more time i’d go on the full rant of appreciating you and your asks, but since sleep is a thing, i just want you to know that like. your experience with wwda genuinely means to much to me? like i keep almost going to my one irl friend to be like “I wrote about my mess of a gender in my fic and this amazing person read it and it helped them!!” but then im like ‘oh i don’t want to brag’ but it’s just...a lot of things don’t feel so great, with covid and everything, and in a lot of ways i feel like i wasted my 18th year. but knowing that i helped you? even if you were the only person i helped and it only helped you for a single moment, that makes my year more worthwhile, yknow?

sorry this is so sappy and maybe a little sad im in a weird mood but the point is that i really appreciate you and the enthusiasm you’ve shown for the fic (but also!! if you decide tmrw you hate the fic? that’s cool too! don’t feel any pressure to like it or anything, i just think it’s cool that aang’s gender storyline and iroh’s flower metaphor seem to have meant something to you)

💜💜💜💜💜have an amazing day bee, remember you’re amazing and valid and beautiful

FIRST OF ALL WATCH YOUR APOLOGIES BOOM THERES NOTHING AT ALL TO APOLOGIZE FOR *ESPECIALLY* YOUR FEELINGS ANYWAYS 💜💜💜

*me in tears * *sniffle* i- idek what to say in literally crying rn b o o m - i’m sure you helped So many other people aside from me i just tend to rant to Everyone about things i love i just go bat shit crazy with that stuff hfsjb

i wont up and decide i hate the fic suddenly dw i genuinely don’t think i could Ever hate it (honestly i think telling your irl wouldn’t be bragging you just want to express something you’re happy/proud about yk? but do whatever youre comfy with 💜)

if there’s something you should be proud of doing for your eighteenth year Definitely take credit for helping me (and others!!!!!!!) bc holy shit i can reread wwda and tell you how Every little thing helped me (honestly 👀 i’m not opposed to the idea ,,) wait i need to figure out how to put this in paragraphs um okey anyways just yeah

covid really fucked things up ik but you!!! wrote this amazing fic based on your experience and hm you’ve helped ***so*** many people you say you’re thankful for my experience with wwda but know that im just ‘!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love i love i love’ about it im just. a h h just it helped a lot hfdjf (once again i Can write how/why smthg helped for literally everything but would that be too much? if you’re still reading then lmk)

and!!!! wwda Wont help me for just a moment HONESTLY just know that it has Very much affected me in a way that like ill remember for the rest of my life? that made sense right??? there’s just So much like there’s a lot that i relate with and seeing the characters work through it themselves and seeing That outside perspective on it i’m just like ‘*i* can do that’ soo it’s just really Neat. ooh six paragraphs oops. but i wont apologize bc i would gladly write 1000000 paragraphs for you boom 😌 mwah mwah mwah ily!!!!! you mean So much to me too!!!! i hope today treats you with the Utmost kindest you’re amazing and attractive and soo very valid too!!! (also its literally a given for how happy you’ve made (and will make!!!!!! *screams* hfdh excited) me but !!! just know okay idk how to express it but envision a tiny human (omg also youre basically the same height as me we’re like the same person by default) jumping around everywhere and that’s how happy you make me feel!!!) 💜💜💜💜🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

wait oops i forgot to tell you to try and sleep more tonight 💜 MWAH MWAH ILYSM 💜💜💜💜💜

[tfw-no-tennis]

[drumming] BEAST WARRRS

wow, me and ruth watching MORE transformers stuff?? its more likely than you think

sooo yeah we started watching beast wars. which seems like the logical next step after reading the comics and watching tfa, tfp, (some of) g1, cyberverse, even the live action movies back in the day...

however ruth and I have always ruthlessly bullied beast wars bc of how outdated the cgi looks, stating that no matter how good everyone says it is, we can never watch it bc its so ugly 

we watched a couple clips, even, including the fight scene from ep2 which is SO funny I'm sorry and we were like ‘yea we cant watch this lol’ BUT LO AND BEHOLD...HERE WE ARE....

so yah this was probably inevitable but yea, ill probably write a few of these post just giving my scattered thoughts

so! so far we’ve watched like 8 eps and I gotta say....I like it a lot so far

as ruth says, ‘it feels like an actual show’ (as opposed to g1 which imo feels more like an extended-toy-commercial-slash-acid-trip)

like, even in the first couple eps, its clear there's actual plot and characters

the bad cgi is admittedly distracting at time, similar to the animation errors in g1 

in terms of the plot, I find it to be really interesting - I like the explanations for the beast forms w/the energon making their robot forms short out

the premise is like, so wild to me, in a meta sense - like, this was basically the followup to g1 (ignoring g2, and all the japanese stuff like headmasters and victory), and its SO wildly different than g1 - premise-wise, beast wars feels like something you'd get 20 years down the line in the franchise when they're trying to go at the source material from a new, fresh angle

instead its the follow-up to g1, bc I guess being able to sell toys that transform into animals rather than cars is a good market 

oh man is this show 90s. like, it came out in ‘96, so obviously its gonna be 90s, but sometimes it just slaps you in the face w/it 

like...the music. lmao like the guitar riffs that play sometimes are so hilariously 90s that I feel myself regressing into an infant (the state I was in irl during the 90s)

plus the dialogue...like half of what cheetor says is just. so very 90s. like Cool Epic Teenz 90s sometimes, which is hilarious and out of date now 

speaking of cheetor I love my boy. I already love him from cyberverse but this is og cheetor and I love him here too. he;s just a great kid appeal yellow character and I luv him. he has freckles that's soooo cuteee my boiiii

as for the characters in general...I like how they all have pretty solid characterizations but also undergo character development. and I like how we don't get all too much exposition about them/their backstories so we get to learn things as we go along 

optimus primal is cool, and interesting when compared to other optimuses (optimii?)...he seems like a Leader™, but he’s kinda frustrated/done with this shit, especially compared to like, g1 op, who was very patient, and tfa op, who felt very young. this op feels very experienced but also doesn't always wanna be here

who else is there...rhinox! he is great, he seems like the only one w/a brain cell. he seems v levelheaded and cool, I like him a lot. he hasn't gotten much spotlight but I'm interested to see what he’ll do. I like his voice

rattrap omg...ruth hates him bc he’s annoying which, fair, but I like him bc he’s hilarious. he’s a rat from new jersey, and joisey rats are just Like That okay

dinobot...omg...I love him. he’s just dramatic and gay. and also a dinosaur. I think its cool that he has a SWORD bc everyone else has guns (kinda boring), and also he has laser eyes. he is cool and interesting and also he and optimus are dating tyvm 

as for the predacons...beast wars megatron oh my goddd....I love him so much he’s SO entertaining lmao...yesssssss....he’s so Shakespearian? idek how else to describe it. he’s very eloquent and he really feels like a high-class play actor who could also rip your face off if he wanted to. he says ‘yessssss’ SO much its so funny. he’s very like, over the top and kinda hammy, but in a completely different way than g1 megs, who could be described similarly but is a very different vibe 

bw megatron is basically the polar opposite of tfp megatron

as for the rest of the predacons, we haven't gotten as much character stuff for them but I'm interested in them for sure

tarantulas.....I wanna see more of him, he’s just so entertaining to me idk. gay little spider man

scorponok omfg he’s such a loser in this hvbajkdsfbwkhdsf I cant get over how completely lame and unthreatening he is lmaoooo he’s such a lil bitch. I could cough on him and he’d explode probably. hilarious

terrorsaur is like the starscream of this show from what I can tell so far since he’s already tried to take over the predacons twice. ruth and I hate the weird bird dinosaur noises he makes. actually we hate when any of the characters make animal noises honestly hbvkjdnsfaksl

waspinator sure is here. he hasn't done much but he’s definitely present! and makes some weird terrible bug noises

blackarachnia just got here and then immediately left, which is hilarious. she saw everyone fighting and was like ‘actually fuck this’ and bounced, which is super valid 

ok I gotta talk abt the animation again vhbahkjsdfhbkjsf its...really painful...I mean it looks great for being 1996, but since its cgi it does NOT hold up at all (compared to 2d animation, which tends to hold up better - tho low-budget stuff like g1 doesn't hold up great, but it looks bad in a much different way than bad old cgi does)

like, I mentioned it above but that fight scene in ep2...there are just so many moments that weren't supposed to be funny but were hilarious due to the animation. like when the two sides run at each other and clash, when they hit each other half of them just fly offscreen like plastic toys vbahsudfbajskdf its SO visually hilarious I rewound it to watch it again lmao 

also anytime they do closeups I cringe so hard, especially on optimus, he just looks so plastic...in general the beast modes looks pretty janky, like cheetors limbs (mostly around the shoulders/hips) look weird af...I feel like rattraps beast mode looks the least wack. beast mode tarantulas also looks weird as hell but I think that's partially bc his colors are so garish lmao

I'm soooo excited to see the stuff that connects beast wars to g1, I know a few things about how its connected thanks to my reading of the g1 tfwiki pages, and I cant wait to see it all unfold

I'm really not spoiled for much, surprisingly...I might know a couple character deaths, and a few other things, but for the most part I have no clue what's going to happen which is really cool actually. I'm excited to see things!!!

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.

[javodvarka]

I love great character moments. And this episode had ALL THAT and a bowl of grits. Clarke and Madi mother/daughter feelings? Check. Monty and Echo hugging? Check. Niylah being a pod person? Check. Murphy and Emori bonding over explosions and taking hostages? Check. Blakes sword fighting? Check. Echo getting the fuckin’ glow up? CHECKITY FUCKITY CHECK.

“Exit Wounds,” written by Drew Lindo, a newcomer to the writer’s room, and directed by Michael Blundell in his directorial debut put the war for Eden in motion, but using mind games instead of swords and guns (for now). Octavia and Diyoza punching and counter punching in a war of wills and Echo putting her spy skills to use represent an exciting way to maneuver these two factions into intrigue and more conflict without spilling a drop of blood (well, unless you’re Octavia, and killing your own people’s blood is just another Tuesday). Madi’s secret was revealed and dealt with in surprising and scary ways, revealing some suprising enemies and allies. Relationships were dealt with, including a very frank conversation about change, jealousy, and resentment, and Clarke saw her worst fears come true, as Octavia moved to set herself between Clarke and Madi for what purpose we simply do not know yet.

Let’s get into it!

Stupid Sexy Smart Diyoza

So, of course Diyoza quotes Sun Tzu and The Art of War. She’s a cunning leader who is absolutely smarter than Octavia as a military leader. She knows that Octavia’s people have knowledge and skills her prison folks just don’t have, and she’s looking at the big picture of actual sustainable survival. She knows that bloodshed is not the only way to wage a war. She’s so smart.       (i love her)

Instead of using guns and manpower as weapons, she uses something far more subversive: food. Thanks to Kane’s intel, she knows that Wonkru is running low and understands that six years of bunker food (IT’S PEOPLE, IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE, OMG WE ALL KNOW THIS, RIGHT?!) and facing possible starvation with no way to cross the wasteland is a way to psychologically worm (ha!) her way into the hearts and minds of Wonkru, who aren’t the single-minded organism that Octavia would like to think as we come to find out.

Leveraging Kane’s knowledge of Octavia and Wonkru’s situation to find an alternative way to start widening the minute cracks in Wonkru’s foundation is just such a smart move for the show to make. We’ve watched wars get waged in several violent ways and having a cunning character like Diyoza follow an unexpected path is one of the many joys and surprises of season 5.

All the while, she finds a way to piss off McCreary and flirt with Kane. IN THE SAME SCENE. “Fostering dissent is like seduction. It takes time.” MY WOMAN.

My love for Diyoza is reaching embarrassing levels. This character is just electric every fucking second of screen time and she’s really changing up the dynamic of conflict this season. I should be rooting for our protagonists of the last 4 seasons, but I simply cannot. While Octavia kinda makes it easier, Diyoza is simply too good a character, and too smart for me to not to like a whole lot.

But. BUT. Y’all, I be worried.

I think it’s kinda obvious that I’m on Team Prison as Octavia and Wonkru are so problematic and scary for me, and there’s going to be a dark year reveal soon that will make it nigh impossible for me to not be even more freaked out by them. But Team Prison is not all that great either and feels held together by bubble gum, chicken wire, and the sheer force of Diyoza’s will. I think this season is delving into the nature of loyalty and leadership in ways that haven’t been explored before, and Diyoza will see her people turn on her. She’s one or two McCreary confrontations away from losing them.

There’s a pragmatism to Diyoza that doesn’t fare well in the face of impatience, ego, intellectual laziness, or lack of vision. How does one convince a bunch of violent prisoners who want to bust heads that supply dropping food is playing the smarter long game? They don’t fuckin’ care about the long game. They wanna bust heads. Wonkru may have some spreading cracks in its foundation, but Prisonkru is a festering powder keg and something tells me Diyoza will realize this too late. She thinks she’s leading an army, but really what the fuck is she the Colonel of? A bunch of barely organized prisoners? Ooooo girl. .

Kane’s Gettin’ a Little Uppity During Lunch Hour

You guys notice how Kane is now at the cool kids’ table, thinking he can talk smack to the other cool kids? I love you, you sexy beardy man, but damn son, please don’t poke the McCreary bear.

I love that Kane feels a little bit more comfortable with Diyoza…I think their dynamic is fun to watch…but McCreary’s nickname is GRAVEYARD. Yo. GRAVE. YARD. That’s not unicorns and lollipops and rainbows type of shit. Watch yourself, Kane. Diyoza seems to be the type to enjoy goading two dudes into a dick-measuring contest then stopping it to show power. Hey, it’s not rational, but her jabs at McCreary are telling.

Fake It Until You Make It – But What If You Never Feel You Make It?

I have a problem with Octavia. I’m having a very hard time reading her character. The way she goes around scowling and growling at people can, at times, feel a bit over-the-top. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a deliberate acting choice to convey something that I suspect to be true of Octavia: she has no fucking clue what she got herself into and the moment she lets the Blodreina facade slip, she’s dead.

There have been some very obvious times this season where we’ve seen glimpses of Octavia Blake – her frustration over proposed blanket theft resolution, seeing Bellamy for the first time in six years, her waving to Monty…but those moments stand in jarring opposition to Octavia stomping around barking orders and hissing threats.

I want to believe that Blodreina is just a persona – a mask – that Octavia felt she had to wear in order to get people past their divisions and get them all on the same page in the bunker. And over the years, she’s somewhat gotten better at being this Red Queen, but it’s never fit just quite right. There are times where I feel she’s barely in control of this other person she’s had to become and she doesn’t quite have the skills to move into a non-bunker world and maintain control.

Let’s face it…life outside of the very structured boundaries of the bunker adds a layer of complexity to what Octavia has to do to lead Wonkru. Kara (stupid head!) is right about the murmurs of doubt. Octavia looks weak due to her failure to cross the wasteland, and Octavia isn’t not equipped with the knowledge or experience to do anything other than view war as her only option. She’s a bulldozer looking for a hill to raze. She’s simply not on Diyoza’s level and it’s quite apparent that the best plans she implements are those suggested by others.

Now, I am by no means calling Octavia dumb. But she is, at this point, a blunt instrument to Diyoza’s scalpel. She’s also out-technologied in a big way, as the Eligius mother ship has an eye on Polis and Wonkru’s movements. She’s also out-intelled, as Kane is giving Diyoza all the data she needs and Octavia doesn’t know much at all about who she’s dealing with. And given Octavia’s character development over 4 seasons, she’s a warrior. Of course her first instinct is going to be to hack away with a sword until someone’s dead. That’s kinda all she knows. Plus she is emotionally immature. Plus her coping skills are SHIT.

Now, I’m sure a bunch of people are reading this and think I hate Octavia or think she’s stupid. Look, you could put me in charge of an army and I wouldn’t know fuck all about military tactics. You could put me in an airplane cockpit and we are definitely going to crash. Socially stunted people without skills in an area they’re suddenly thrust into aren’t necessarily going to thrive! People rarely succeed when they are ill-prepared, under-skilled, or lacking talent. That’s why I’m not a mathematician and went into liberal arts. And the reverse is true. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE GOOD AT STUFF. IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. It’s only through failure we learn. Just in Octavia’s case, failure is simply not an option.

I’m not hating on Octavia to say I think she’s teetering on the edge of letting the mask slip, of letting people see she’s not cut out for this role she’s created for herself. That maybe, just maybe, she’s way in too deep with this Wonkru craziness and there’s no ability to just sort of quit and move on to something else. Deeply flawed characters are fine, sometimes they’re great. And not all protagonists get to die a hero. Octavia’s story this season is fascinating to watch because I feel I’m watching one of the show’s four main protagonists slip down into an antagonist role, and it’s far more interesting than another season of “oh, look, Octavia’s in this scene.”

While I’m on the subject of Octavia and Wonkru, I wanted to point out the significance of what that Shadow Valley hippy couple said: they wanted to go back to their home and start a family where they’re free. Free. Huh…interesting word.

Now that Wonkru is no longer trapped in a box, the individual members of Wonkru can restart their lives outside of the bunker. Does freedom from the bunker also mean freedom from Wonkru, freedom from whatever they did in that bunker? Can Octavia really fight against people who want to express their individual “rights” outside of bunker society. Does Octavia even care about those seeking an escape from their past? Will her need to hold onto power mean she stomps on the individual liberties of others? I mean, I think we’ve already seen the answer to that.

I’m sure there will be a showdown at some point that will cause Octavia to confront imposing her will on a people who are no longer bound by walls to conform to her rule. Will that opposing voice come from Bellamy, Clarke, or one of her own? Indra perhaps? If someone does call her out, I think we know that person will be marked for death.

WHATEVER, KARA: My Obligatory “I Hate Kara Cooper” Section

Hey, y’all like that scene to open the episode where Clarke is tending to Octavia’s worm…hole? bite? boring location? wound? and Kara “THE WORST” Cooper comes in and is all like “Hey Octavia, you ready, you can’t be sittin’ here licking your wounds, your people expect you up and about and doing cult stuff, let’s go we got a full day of cultin’ to do!”

And Clarke rolls her eyes and is like…”Whatever Karen.”

Kara pops up throughout this episode to be the absolute worst person in the world – a world filled with exceptionally bad people mind you – and any time she’s on screen, I just squint my eyes and seethe with the hatred of a thousand suns that are…like…very filled with hate. As suns usually are. SHUT UP, IT’S SCIENCE!

At the end of the episode, when Bellamy and Clarke catch Kara shooting defectors, I was like “FINALLY! They got her! She went against Octavia’s orders and Octavia will have no choice but to kill her betraying ass” and boy did I ever eat a disappointment shit sandwich on that one. OF COURSE Octavia gave Kara the order to shoot defectors, to make it look like a real defection and all. Dumb me.

I hate to say this, but……………..

…………….Kara’s right. Octavia’s grip on power, absolute in the bunker, gets a little hazier in the light of the sun, and Octavia needs to exercise her power in order to put across a message of “hey, I’m still the Red Queen here.”

It must be EXHAUSTING to be Octavia. Especially when stupid head Kara Cooper of ShesTheWorstKru is always there needling you and reminding you that you slip up once, and people will pounce, like once did and SHOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED FOR BUT NOOOOO SHE WON A SWORD FIGHT, LIKE SO LUCKY, WHATEVER. GOD!

Let’s turn now to something positive.

I Love Season 5 Bellamy…That’s Like My Opinion, Man

I don’t care what people say. This is the best version of Bellamy and I love him.

He’s smart, measured, balanced, and a fuckin’ grown ass adult. And guess what, I like smart, measured, balanced adults. I’m weird that way.

He’s matured into a Bellamy who in many ways, has reigned in the impulsive parts of himself without losing the passion and drive that was always the best bits of Bellamy, especially in my second-favorite iteration of him in season 2.

Not only did I love the sword sparring between he and Octavia, I loved that bit in the end:

“We all have things to answer for, things that shouldn’t be forgiven but are because we did them for our people. Our family. Echo is no different. She was an Azgeda spy, now she’s with me, your brother who is trying very hard to understand who you are now compared to who you were six years ago. All I’m asking is for you to do the same.”

Just such great goddamn dialog. So much was packed into a couple lines that really felt a lot like a super-condensed version of the arguments I made about Echo’s character development and our protagonist bias in my off-season Echo Defense Squad write up.

I’m not saying “look at how smart I am” for echoing (OLOLOLOLO) a lot of the same sentiment put forth by Bellamy’s dialog…but I’m not NOT saying “look how smart I am” either. I just feel kinda good that my thoughts about Echo/protagonist bias got addressed in such a straight-forward way. No biggie tho.

I think Octavia and Bellamy’s conflict also shows how much he’s changed and how much she’s dug into who she’s kinda always been. Octavia is about actions, not intentions. Bellamy, in his balancing his heart with his head, realizes that intentions are important. Reasons are important. Point of view is important. This is an emotional maturity that Bellamy has grown into throughout the series, with a lot of influence from Clarke, who is now letting her heart lead her a bit more this season. She’s grown because of Bellamy, because of Madi. But Octavia…Octavia, for me, lies in stark contrast to everyone else who has actually progressed in six years.

Octavia, again, is a blunt instrument. She doesn’t look past actions. Actions speak loudly to her, she doesn’t much care about the intention behind them. Punch her, she punches back. Her world is simple, black and white. Wonkru or enemy of Wonkru. This is NOT a good way to navigate a world with any level of complexity. I really am wondering if being in that bunker isn’t just being back under the floor. The larger world, the ability to change and evolve, the FREEDOM to change and evolve and choose one’s path simply isn’t available to Octavia. The bunker, like the floor, stunts her growth, turning her more inward, giving her an echo chamber which she never needs to question. And where she’s never questioned.

Octavia meets challenges, conflict, and stress with anger and violence. This is NOT a well-balanced human being who has emotional maturity, and this stunted growth makes her assessment of situations – looking merely at actions – and her reply – usually driven by anger – highly problematic. If love is weakness, then does Octavia consider its opposites as strength? This is going to be an issue moving forward, especially in light of Bellamy’s growth. And THAT’S OKAY. I love that people are growing when others are simply not. Again, change can happen at different rates, or not at all. Throwing this all into contrast by using the delta between who you were and how you are is fascinating stuff. I really dig the stuff we’re exploring this season.

This whole episode had so many great parts featuring Bellamy and Bob acted his goddamn ass off. It’s almost astonishing that I don’t notice his performance more because it has been great since the pilot (fight me), but there was just something about his dialog and delivery this episode that really sparked off the screen.

The Becho of It All, I Love It, That’s Just My Opinion, Man

Bob and Taysa have great chemistry. Bob expressed a lot of emotion in his line delivery with her. I think the dialog just fucking hit it out of the park more than usual. A lot of heavy lifting was done in this episode to progress our understanding of how their dynamic evolved, even though we didn’t SEE it, which is a sticking point for so many people.

But I also think we could get 50 years of Echo and Bellamy together, with generations of kids and grandkids, and there would still be some folks that would “Yeah but, we didn’t get to see it”. I’m no longer interested in having that conversation.

Hey, I didn’t get to see Bellamy suddenly be okay with killing 300 Grounders in their sleep either, but I head cannoned my way around it.

I like Becho. I think it makes sense, especially in the context of a show that is all about “what would you do for your people?” It’s ridiculous to not extend that consideration to Echo or Diyoza or Blodreina when we’ve done it consistently with Clarke, Bellamy, Lexa, Pike, et al. I think flipping perspective is a healthy way to understand the experiences of people who we have trouble relating to. So I’m into it.

Sorry if you’re not into it, but no worries. I’m sure the Becho relationship will soon be fridged and thrown into the Bellarke volcano as tribute.

But hey Becho…

The Emori of It All

I am actually someone who genuinely enjoys when people are in love and are putting in the heavy lifting to make a relationship work. I know I don’t put across that aura, but trust me, I dig a well-oiled partnership without drama for drama’s sake. I don’t like prop relationships.

While there is conflict with Memori, it’s not in order to push people apart so they are available for someone else…this relationship, and it’s breakup, is about as real as you can get when it comes to one of the main sources of relationships hitting the rocks – people change. And often that means growing apart in heartbreaking ways.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Emori found a greater purpose on the Ring and was part of something bigger than herself. Remember, she’s an outcast because of a physical mutation, forced to be a loner. But that doesn’t mean that she necessarily liked being a it or understood what it could feel like to be part of a group, a family. I teared up for Emori in this scene because I totally feel for her and love how she’s changed over these six years. She’s found her place. Her people.

And Murphy, who is far less capable of expressing his feelings without getting snarky and resentful, admits to feeling unneeded. He was jealous of Emori and how she was changing into this new, more fully-realized person, and he resented her and punished her, driving her away.

It’s sad because it’s a familiar story line in a great many relationships, real and fictional…it’s almost a given that change will drive resentment of some sort with two people. The key is working through it, getting right with it, then getting past it.

Murphy is the kind of dude that KNOWS why he does stuff, but won’t admit to it. He knows all of this, he knows he lashes out when in pain and hurts those he loves (you can see it on the Eligius with Raven and his immediate remorse), so it’s not that he’s emotionally dumb, he’s just sooooooooo bad with expressing himself in a way that is conducive to a conversation versus a fight.

We still love him despite his immature actions because he can be remorseful and come correct. He’s not that guy that sticks to his guns and won’t admit his faults, even if he does it sarcastically. It’s his armor, and I get that.

God, the fucking acting with these two. They’re not the warmest, cuddliest people on the face of the irradiated earth, but they express their love, hurt, and affection in sharper, more sarcastic and caustic ways. And it works for them. I totally buy into this relationship because it feels like two peas in a pod…a prickly pod, but they’re a matching set.

Especially when it comes to doing a little murderation and hostage-taking. These two have a thing for getting sexy by stirring up trouble. Am I into it?

Leave it to Murphy and Emori to blow up a couple of their pursuers and wound McCreary, who is now their hostage. Have you ever seen two people share a smile over taking a hostage? Hell, they were going to have post-exploding-people sex. Tell me these two crazy kids aren’t completely made for each other.

Hey Look It’s Niylah and She’s Totally Normal You Guys [INTERNAL SCREAMING]

Yay! We finally have confirmation that Niylah is still alive. In my last review, I said this about her:

“I love Niylah. I love how chill and peaceful and GOOD she is. Niylah went into the bunker, but who came out?”

Niylah seeks out Clarke, calls her out on avoiding her, then gives her a carving of a panther, a great callback to Niylah’s introduction in season 3 that I truly appreciated. These callback moments help connect characters through their history and instantly remind us of “oh hey, remember how close these two once were and how awkward things are now?”. We got treated to more great dialog in this episode as these two had a chat:

Clarke: Things are different now.

Niylah: Not everything has changed. I carved this for you. Remember the panther I smoked and made into jerky for you?

Clarke: Yes I do. That was some great panther! Do you cure meat for Wonkru?

Niylah: Not FOR Wonkru. FROM Wonkru.

Clarke: [………………….]

Niylah: Also, that panther is carved from an Azgeda femur. If you hold it up to your ear, you can still hear him screaming.

Is Niylah now a Wonkru pod person? You bet your ass that Niylah is now a fuckin’ pod person. The most cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls is turning Wonkru into people jerky. She’s fully bought into the cult and dedicated to Blodreina and her calm demeanor during this conversation, a trait I had come to admire Niylah for, is now fucking frightening as fuck. I can’t be alone in this. My sweet baby Niylah is now a doe-eyed cult member and probably spends her time perfecting her jerk rub for long pig.

PLUS, SHE WAS GOING TO RAT ON MADI BEING A TRUE NIGHTBLOOD.

You guys, NIYLAH AIN’T RIGHT.

I hate it but I love it all the same because it’s so fucking eerie how nonchalant Niylah is about everything. She’s like a friend from high school you reconnect with after ten years and things are all cool. Until she starts talking to you about Amway.

I guess this is as good a place to bring it up as any:

You guys ready to see the emotional fall out over what happened in the bunker? Like people just finally breaking down from what they experienced in there? The picture getting painted is quite clear to anyone picking up what Blodreina and Wonkru are dropping: something really bad went down. And no one will talk about it.

But someone eventually will. And there will be a reckoning. Because it’s one thing to do abhorrent stuff to survive in a closed environment, but now that the bunker is opened up and there’s a larger world to exist in, how will people reconcile whatever happened with their new life?

I can see someone like Niylah falling apart. Or Kane – as I suspect he might begin revealing to Diyoza what happened in the Dark Year. I think Diyoza will sense something hinky about Wonkru that isn’t just devotion to Octavia, but a fierce protective instinct/fear of discussing what exactly went on in the bunker. Kane probably feels great shame, but has, like the others, convinced themselves that survival depended on it…and by it, I mean cannibalism. What other taboo could be causing them to act like this?

Oh, this is going to be a shit show, to be sure. I’m positively giddy with excitement. And I know you are too…c’mon, admit it. You, dear reader, are just as complicit as I am in this weird titillation over crossing into that one last taboo.

Also, a shared shame is a powerful glue…Wonkru’s secret is one of the things that holds them together, but once someone exposes that secret, shit’s going to hit the fan.

Everything’s Changed

I don’t think we’ve had a sharper focus on how the characters feel about the current state of things than when Clarke tells Niylah that nothing’s the same. And it’s not, especially for Clarke, who after a shit time on earth, seems to be the one that fared the best in the six years that have passed. I think she found some measure of peace in her life in the Shadow Valley and with Madi. Her unease with Octavia, Niylah, and the rest of Wonkru is her intuition telling her that everything is fucked up and Madi, due to the nature of her night blood, is in grave danger.

Clarke has changed too, and I like how she’s not at the focal point of the first half of the season. She no longer feels the need to lead. Hers is a people of one, and Madi is her only priority. Bellamy has a slightly larger circle of seven people to look after, and Octavia has a gaggle of cultists at her beck and call. There is a looming danger here of competing priorities, of perceived threats, and clashing personalities and egos. Bellamy, Octavia, and Clarke are in a tenuous triangle of tension and conflict, exacerbated by the fact that no one truly knows each other any more.

And now that Octavia has essentially plucked Madi from under Clarke’s protective wing, she’s going to get even more fucked up because Octavia done poked mama bear Clarke.

AND YOU DO NOT POKE THE MAMA BEAR.

Speaking of which…

Wanheda Versus Blodreina: ARE YOU READY?

Where are my Degeneration X fans at? BREAK IT DOWN…

(I really know where my audience sweet spot is…the 3 people who watch The 100 and have deep WWE historical knowledge)

The second Octavia “adopted” or whatever the fuck you’d call it (abducted?) Madi into Wonkru, all bets were off on how Clarke is going to respond. Can you imagine watching in horror as your “daughter” gets inducted into a cult by the one person who can do some serious harm to her? Does anyone truly believe that Octavia has Madi’s best interests at heart? What exactly are Octavia’s intentions? Does she view Madi as a way to control Clarke? And poor Madi, who thought she was doing the right thing, doesn’t have the insight or experience to understand how big of a threat Octavia is.

Let me speak a bit on Madi’s decision. I wrote a poem to reflect my feelings upon seeing her go to tell Octavia the truth about her nightblood:

“OH MADI NO” by Jen

OH BABY NO DON’T WHAT IS YOU DOIN’???!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK [big breath] FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THIS IS BAD.

WHY SWEET BABY GIRL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! [faint]

Yes, the Lebron meme ��� so very timely right now, so appreciate my cultural awareness – is part of the poem. I work in mixed media. My talent won’t be confined to just one method of communication.

I realize Madi thought she was protecting Clarke by coming clean so they didn’t have to go back to Eden with Diyoza a perceived threat, and it’s a completely Madi thing to do. She’s got spunk and agency, but unfortunately the Octavia of Clarke’s stories no longer exists. But she doesn’t know that. I don’t blame Madi, I’m just face-palming a bit because we, the audience, have far more insight into Octavia, can viscerally feel Clarke’s panic, and realize that inexperience and youth are driving a lot of Madi’s innocent actions.

That Madi has Octavia-shaped stars in her eyes doesn’t help anything. Like I said, she has no idea what Octavia has done, or what Wonkru is. She’s living off of Octavia’s greatest hits, not her current material. We’ll see if Madi gets clued into something being wrong in the state of Denmark. I don’t doubt we’re going to get some Madi being bratty with Clarke over “cool aunt” Octavia. It’s about to get all high school drama up in here. “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, MOM!”

I thought perhaps Clarke would align with Octavia against Diyoza, but now it’s looking more likely to be the other way around. Clarke knows Octavia is dangerous, her interactions with Niylah and Gaia opening her eyes a bit more to the politics and cult of personality that is Wonkru.

I can only guess we’re now going to get a war between titans – Wanheda vs. Blodreina

And how, exactly, is Bellamy going to react to all of this? At some point, you’d think he’s going to have a make a choice between the two. In the past, his choice has almost always been his sister, but it’s been six years, people have changed, and Octavia has gone down a very dark path.

I Have A Big Apology to Make

In my Red Queen review, I wrote that I simply do not trust Gaia. I think I was wrong. Let me give you a 2018-version of an apology:

“I’m sorry you made me feel that way and say those things about you.”

I’m still not quite sure what Gaia’s agenda or what she plans to do, but it appears that she’s going to protect Madi. She was ready to kill Niylah to protect Madi. This was not something I expected out of her, and that was was also unwilling to just force Madi to take the Flame is yet another interesting detail. We know very little about the Flamekeepers, their beliefs, and their role in Grounder society.

Now we know Gaia is still ready and willing to adhere to her faith. How she reconciles serving both her queen and her faith will hopefully get explored, as I think we can all agree: we need to see much more of Gaia. She’s too interesting to be left on the periphery of the narrative, especially since the dynamics between the group of women – Octavia, Kara, Indra, and Gaia – is just RIPE with possible intrigue, conflicts, and power struggles.

But I’m sorry, Gaia. You surprised me this episode. I now fully endorse the Hashtag Protect Gaia At All Costs 2018 ticket. Stuff those ballot boxes, folks.

I would like to rage.

Simply The Best…Better Than All The Rest

Of course I saved Echo for last. Because this was the episode I had been waiting for.

CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT.

If you’ll indulge me, I will yet again hearken back to my Echo Defense Squad Assemble piece I wrote prior to the season when I spoke on Echo’s potential. I maintained that she’s ride or die for her people, and I think her devotion to Azgeda proved it over and over again. Of course, a lot of what she did, we didn’t necessarily like because she wasn’t one of the “good guys.” Now that she’s ostensibly one of the “good guys,” how will we view her actions and her character?

I believe she’s ride or die for her little Spacekru family. Much like Emori, I don’t think Echo knew her place in the world. Outside of Azgeda and her service to its royal family, what was her role?

Just as Emori learned she had more to offer, I think Echo learned she had the ability to now choose where to place her loyalty and trust. She lacked agency in the past, driven merely by her duty to her clan. Having a choice, having the freedom to figure out your place in the world is a powerful story. Emori’s story resonates with me, and now so does Echo’s as I understand her better because I can see how she relates and interacts with the people I’ve trusted for 4 seasons.

Echo showing agency was very important for me this season. When Octavia basically makes Echo choose between banishment or turning in the names of those who plan on deserting, Echo refuses to give up the names. And it’s important to note her sense of integrity is not driven by anyone else. Bellamy could have told her not to, as it would mean the death of innocent people who just want to be free of Wonkru, but he never weighs in on Echo’s choice. It’s her decision alone to make, and I MAY have been slightly excited when she said she wasn’t going give Octavia anyone’s names.

Echo and Bellamy do manage, by coincidence of needing to get back to Diyoza’s ship, to convince Octavia to let the deserters go. Echo has to get Monty’s thumb drive to Raven to do computer stuff to hide them from the eye in the sky and all that technology mumbo jumbo. Saving people is a by-product of their plan. It’s a bit weird that it’s never quite clear that killing deserters is really all that upsetting to anyone until after the fact. I guess I would have thought this would have drawn more ire from Bellamy or Clarke.

Echo’s skills as a spy (they don’t call it spycraft for nothin’, folks…it ain’t easy) and understanding of military tactics make her quite valuable. We see snippets of her skills and how she’s leveraged them to teach and protect Spacekru throughout some of the early episodes, but she really shined in “Exit Wounds.” And in the matter of statecraft, what Echo learned from Nia gives her the ability to see how actions taken or not taken may hurt Octavia from a political standpoint, but a short-term loss might be necessary for long-term gain. She’s able to offer strategic, not just the nuts and bolts of how to execute a plan.

What I wouldn’t give for an episode of just Diyoza, Echo, and Indra having dinner and chatting about Sun Tzu, warfare, political maneuvering, fighting styles…I would be entranced.

By the end of the episode, I was thoroughly entertained and delighted by the direction they took her in and how they showed her competency as a spy and improviser. Now, thanks to Echo, I know that gunshot wounds are not only horrible, but also handy-dandy places to hide thumb drives and other small objects. That was some quick thinking on Echo’s part, and although gross, I have to tip my cap to her cunning.

I’m happy to see Echo now in play and Raven back in the picture to move the story line along, but I’m not sure I’m all too happy about Monty, Clarke, Bellamy, Madi, and Harper being left behind in cray cray land. I’m a “get the Adventure Squad together and keep them together!” Polly Anna, and it would be fun for 5 minutes before hindering the plot. So I be patient. But not too patient.

Sidebar: the one unexpected moment that delighted me to no end was Monty and Echo hugging goodbye. These small moments snap us back to the reality that these people have been together for six years, and friendships formed in the confined Ring up in space seem to be based on mutual admiration, trust, and affection. Contrast that feeling to the vibe coming from bunkerkru, held together by something deeper and darker. Contrast that to the “me and Madi against the world” loner vibe off of Clarke, and it’s all so very different from what we’ve felt from these characters before.

Some might not like it. But stories move forward, and the people in them evolve and change in ways that are natural within the narrative. Season 5 has turned out to be something completely fresh while still adhering to many of the recurring themes throughout the series, while admittedly applying a new coat of paint. I’m still highly engaged and excited to see where season 5 goes next. It’s been fucking fantastic to me. There are those who are unhappy with some decisions, but patient and respectful of the craft.

And there those who are unhappy and flinging shit in every direction. We’re not talking constructive criticism here, but ire and hate. To those who are just launching negativity at the show, creators, and actors, I say look to the nearest exit. There are thousands of other shiny objects to thrill and delight you on TV if The 100 no longer fits the bill.

And weirdly, it’s perfectly acceptable to dislike a thing and not raze it to the ground. After the Star Wars fuckery this week, my tolerance of fan entitlement and toxicity is nil. Well, it always has been, but this week of all weeks I’m really just ready to drop gloves. I’m happy to see a legion of SW fans rise up in support of Kelly Marie Tran.

Deathwatch 2018

From week to week, I’m ranking characters by likelihood two die in two buckets: gonna die and long shots. Dead characters of note are in the “May We Meet Again” category.

It’s been my contention for awhile now that one of the “core four” is dying this season. It’s season 5, I reason it’s time to kill off a major character. Y’all. I am officially WORRIED about Clarke Griffin. Marie, Bob, and Lindsey have all made some sort of reference to season 6, indicating strongly that they’ll all be back. There is one person missing in this equation, and that’s Eliza. Not one word of getting advance ideas from the writer’s room, season 6 prep talk, or celebration over getting renewed.

There’s really only one person who can sufficiently express how I’m feeling right about now, and that’s Paula. See how she’s barely holding it together? It me. It SO me.

Of course, I need to remember I have it in my own head that one of the Core Four is dying this season. But I could be dead wrong. You know how you convince yourself of something then you just start descending into an anxiety spiral as you start connecting dots and drawing conclusions based on the implications of one thing or another? That’s where I’m at. What I need to remind myself of is that none of my theories about this show ever come true. Like, EVER. That I have chosen to ignore my own poor track record, yet again, must be the pure embodiment of “lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

Also, I’m adding Madi to my long shot list. Because as I’m spiraling on Clarke, people are telling me there’s NO WAY they’ll kill off Clarke then my mind just shoots off to other characters in a panic and lands on the last one I want to die, which is Madi, which sets me off into another anxiety spiral…this Deathwatch 2018 feature was my worst idea ever.

Sure Bets, One of These Peeps Is Dyin’

Abby

Kane

Kara (+1, moving her up out of pure spite because I’m petty that way)

Indra (-1, moved down to move Kara up, suck it Kara!)

McCreary

Dropped off the list: Echo, for now, but you know, Bellarke volcano god must be fed!

Loooooooooooooong Shots, Place Yer Bets!

Clarke (previously unranked, as me worried AF now)

Murphy

Madi (previously unranked, as me worried AF now)

Monty

—- (I’m stressed enough about Clarke, you want me to pick someone else I love to replace Bellamy on this list? What kind of monster are you?)

Dropped off the list: Raven (1), Bellamy (5) – both have been mentioned season 6 prep

May We Meet Again

Jaha – he was number 1 on my Sure Bet to die board, though I take no pleasure in being right…it was a sorta easy read based on social media. Jaha was an interesting, complex, often infuriating figure in this universe, so RIP.

Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018

Welcome back to Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018! This is a weekly recurring feature of upmost importance. It’s all about the nookie!

Fun fact about the Nookie-O-Meter: it cannot render a reading if Raven – and by extension, potential nookie for Raven to partake in – is absent from an episode. Where Raven at? Not cool.

A SKIP BAYLESS GIF. Look, The 100 writers, I have been brought low by the absence of Raven. I resorted to a fuckin’ Skip Bayless GIF. Don’t do this to me again. It makes me feel icky.

RAVEN REYES NOOKIE ALERT LEVEL: Hazy, ask again later.

I see Raven is back next episode, so I’m excited. Some Raven is good. More Raven is always better. And once Raven is back on our screens, I can access, with scientific rigor and accuracy, the odds of nookie bein’ gotten at some point in time.

Parting Thoughts

Slarke is my ride or die ship – that’s Clarke + soap. There are some nice conditioning products I could recommend for that Polis hair.

I have read that that some people consider “Exit Wounds” a “filler episode,” including people I presume are paid to write about TV professionally. A filler episode, according to TVtropes.com: “Filler episodes are entries in a generally continuous serial that are unrelated to the main plot, don’t significantly alter the relations between the characters, and generally serve only to take up space.” In my profession, if I couldn’t differentiate between feature and a benefit, I wouldn’t have a job.

WORDS HAVE MEANING.

Guys, do you think only Monty can see the ghost of Harper?

Just how many caves across the land do you think Murphy and Emori have had sex in?

Where my Chekhov’s serial killer Vinson at? Probably off reading “Leaves of Grass.” I luv him.

Monty’s tired of all this war shit. I feel you, bro.

It’s weird seeing fandom’s opinions of Octavia’s trajectory being all over the place. Some people think she’s going to make good. Whereas people like me think she’s going to spiral even further down. Uncertainty as this point is exciting. Nothing has been telegraphed.

Anyone else excited as fuck to watch Murphy and McCreary chew scenery together? And just how turned on will Emori get?

(I’m not saying threesome, but since someone out there is thinking it, I’m just doing us all a favor and mentioning it right here and now)

I simply cannot wait for Wanheda versus Blodreina or Blodreina versus Diyoza or Clarke versus (or working with) Diyoza – and the look on Bellamy’s face.

The downfall of leaders this year is going to be lack of vision.

The downfall of leaders this year is going to be lack of people who believe your vision.

It doesn’t warrant its own section but I wanted to mention that Eliza Taylor is oozing stress and concern over Madi’s well-being and it makes me so anxious, especially when Madi goes and puts herself in danger.

I intended for this review to be shorter. Work has been very busy and I’m killing the game this week, but I thought I’d lay off on myself with this review. 7600+ words later, I have failed.

TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, please share, retweet, or like it on twitter.

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos.

FINAL VERDICT!

“Exit Wounds”: 8.5 out of 10 fingers pokin’ around in gunshot wounds

There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.

Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.

McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!

Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants hilarious photo recaps.

Jo Garfein – great fandom charity auctions.

Disclosure: this is my own indie site. This is on my time, my dime. Becho is endgame.

At this point can we just mark him down as “enemy of Wonkru?”

You are Wonkru or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose.

The 100 – “Exit Wounds” Review and Analysis I love great character moments. And this episode had ALL THAT and a bowl of grits. Clarke and Madi mother/daughter feelings?

[thedesperatehousehusband]

Super Three Days Later and A Bowl Short

So the Super Bowl. It’s a classic American event. It’s not to be missed. This year’s game was initially very uninteresting to me because I assumed it would be a blowout in the Patriots favor. And who wants to see that again? And then deal with a smug Gisele? The worst. I always root for the team playing the Patriots to beat the Patriots. In the instance of the Super Bowl, I don’t care which NFC team has the honor. I want them to win. I have no vested interested in the Eagles. But I’m elated they won.

Performance wise….Leslie Odom Jr. did a great job. I love me some Pink. I appreciate that her rendition of the national anthem was not overwrought. Her high notes were scratchy but apparently she wasn’t well. Regardless, she did a good job. Justin Timberlake was fine. But I wanted more. The dancing was on point. The singing was just more yelling “MINNEAPOLIS!” than actually singing the lyrics of the mélange of songs. The Prince hologram was fine. I get it. Prince lived in Minnesota. It was a good show. Not a great show.

Now for the ads. I’m nonplussed across the board less a couple. I stopped taking notes and missed a few but got most of them. Don’t bite my head off if you liked something that I don’t. It’s a free country, bitches. And the State of the Union had higher ratings than the Super Bowl. I’m not sure if he said or Tweeted that but it sounds plausibly possible given the daily nonsense he spins as facts.

Toyota Para Olympics: This was a nice spot. Beyond being an Olympic sponsor, I don’t see what it has to do with Toyota. So from a brand standpoint it could have been anything.

Sprint Robots: Terrible. They spent a shit mess of money making that spot. And it was not money well spent.

Solo: Be there. Memorial Day. I plotzed myself watching this trailer. Donald Glover as Lando? Yes, please.

Turkish Airlines with Dr. Oz: It’s assuming a lot that people know that Dr. Oz is Turkish, isn’t it? But I would fly the shit out of Turkish Airlines. That looked legit.

Rise on NBC: We’ve seen the pilot and are over-the-top excited about this show. Rosie Perez? Yes, please.

Bud Light Dilly Dilly #1: I’m nearing the edge of being over this campaign. It’s humor is fleeting. But I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. I would have preferred to see something entirely different for the Super Bowl but I give them credit for telling a story over multiple spots.

M&Ms with Danny DeVito: I get it. Danny DeVito is as small as an M&M. But the thought of ingesting Danny DeVito is pretty gross. Just ask Rhea Perlman.

Dodge RAM with Vikings: I sort of get it. I sort of don’t. I think the message was if a Viking were to drive a truck as opposed to a boat it would be a Dodge RAM. But what I liked is the secondary call to action around “Watch the Full Story” on YouTube or RAM.com or whatever. Extending content to other platforms is huge. And it was a big trend on the Super Bowl.

Wendy’s Frozen Arches: It’s bold. Calling out your top competitor and iconic market leader. Trying to create a differentiator in the minds of consumers. You can’t just show a Frosty for a buck and expect social chatter.

Castle Rock streaming on Hulu: I’m intrigued. It’s also fascinating that EVERY streaming service ran a spot on the Super Bowl.

Skechers with Howie Long: God, this spot was awful.

Heroes Arena: I don’t get gaming.

Doritos with Peter Dinklage: It was clever but it could have been for anything. What does Peter Dinklage lip syncing to Busta Rhymes/Christ Brown have to do with chips?

Mountain Dew Ice with Morgan Freeman: Same comment as above. Except that my understanding is that this is some sort of campaign? Color me confused. But hearing Missy Elliott is never a bad thing. And the fact that Morgan Freeman agreed to do this seems like a big deal.

Tide No Stains with David Harbour: Now THIS is clever advertising. P&G blew it out with this one by turning their functional benefit on its head and making you think about the product differently because for most of the spot you weren’t thinking Tide. A++++++++++++++

Bud Light Knight: I’m officially over it.

ETrade 85 and I Wanna Go Home: Startling statistics about retirement preparedness presented in an interesting but not scary way. Totally awesome and insight based.

Skyscraper with Dwayne Johnson: This movie looks like summertime fun but what I loved was the tag in the ad about seeing Dwayne Johnson live on The Tonight Show after the game. Extend your content. Drive deeper engagement. Smart, smart, smart.

Mission Impossible Fallout: Fallout is right. I fell out when I saw a 79 year old Tom Cruise trying to do yet another Mission Impossible action movie. Not today, Satan.

Quicken Loans: I very much liked this spot. Good use of humor around a pretty non-humorous but stressful thing. Getting a mortgage.

Avocados from Mexico: I just loved this. Dystopian humor is hilarious. THE CHIPS ARE OUTSIDE THE DOME. But wait…there are a million other ways to use avocados. Nice, nice spot.

Cloverfield Paradox on Netflix: I don’t care.

Diet Coke with the Hipster: I know this one was polarizing. I liked it very much. It was funky without being inaccessible. It was cool and hip without alienating any one group. Coca-Cola is a marketing organization that I very much like.

Jeep The Road Ends: I 100% loved this. Perfect for what Jeep’s brand essence is. In reality, how many people do major off-roading with their Jeep but whatever? A+++++

Tide with Old Spice: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING PERFECT.

WeatherTech: Cheap, cheap, cheap. Hated it.

Pringles: Sort of fun. Sort of been there done that.

Febreeze Bleep Don’t Stink: Another favorite. This is a great way to use humor that could be extended into other channels and not wear out. The joke will ultimately get old but there’s so much they can do with this. A++++++++++++

Michelob Ultra with Chris Pratt: Yep, that’s realistic. A PA casting extras wouldn’t know Chris Pratt. Blech.

Squarespace with Keanu Reeves: Nope. You wanna know who’s no longer relevant? Keanu Reeves.

Dodge RAM Built to Serve: Decent use of emotion without getting too far into melodrama.

Australia Travel: I thought this was great and renews my heavy desire to visit Australia.

TurboTax Monster Under the Bed: Meh.

Yellow Tail: Absolutely horrendous.

Amazon Prime: Good not great.

Toyota Priest Rabbi: Toyota needs to figure itself out. Their spots were so disparate during the Super Bowl. Stand for something, dammit. Don’t try to stand for everything. Do you want to tug on my heartstrings about the Para Olympics or do you want to tell jokes? It’s too much.

Pepsi: It felt like they sponsored the halftime show. Or am I mistaken?

Jack Ryan on Amazon Video: No thanks.

The Voice Promo: I want to watch this promo every day until the end of time. It was kind of perfect.

Lexus Black Panther: Here’s what I know. We are going to see the SHIT out of Black Panther. What that has to do with Lexus is unclear.

Tide Clydesdales: OMG LOL ROTFL.

Budweiser Water: I’m talking out of both sides of my mouth. Because Toyota and Budweiser have done something similar. But Budweiser made it work because it’s natural for them to have water because they need it to make beer. So their altruism feels sincere without stretching.

Intuit Turbo Tax: Terrible.

Jeep Jurassic Park: Decent.

Kia with Steven Tyler: Nope.

Blacture: Be Celebrated. Not Tolerated. Powerful words. It’s not clear what Blacture is but I will admit to being intrigued.

Wix: Terrifically terrible.

Michelob Ultra We Get Beer: Do you? Do you really?

Groupon: Not memorable.

Alexa New Voices: I liked it but the joke wasn’t funny by the time the spot was done. That’s not great.

Coke Different for Everyone: I approve.

Hyundai Hope Comes Standard: So heavy handed.

T-Mobile with Kerry Washington: Had this spot been for Pampers, I would have loved it. For a cell phone carrier it don’t make a drop of damn sense.

Stella Clean Water: Apparently ALLLLLLL of our beer manufacturers are bringing water to those in need. I didn’t see that theme coming.

Jeep Manifesto: They missed on this one. I liked the first two. But this just made me roll my eyes.

Tide Pharma: This brought me incredible joy as it pokes fun at my life’s work. Which is hilarious to me.

Tide for the win. David Harbour is a national treasure. Gisele is the WORST. And Nick Foles is going to Disney World.

[survivorandalucia]

“Wokest Bitch of the West”- Petra

I'm fucking quitting why did you have to cast these fucking people

OMG I made it and it's started and I'm soooo ready

RHONE ! Bless.

i love men that means im not a lesbian

Ohhh bitch i am here! I was legit just having a mental brake down and now im here. Ohh boy!!! Im so excited to be here and now im seeing Amanda again! But me geting jenna out and willa ohh boy! Im gonna have to talk to willa and hopefully jenna isn't so harsh this time around! Ah im so excited i just hope im not a pre-juror boot because im going to be so emotional this game and hopefully play a villainous card!

toby marlow is sexy as fuck what the mhell

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!! So far, not much has happened which can be good or bad. I'm a bit nervous to be playing with returnees being on the other tribe because they might be better at immunity challenges than us. I'm a bit nervous about Pine Boy being in this game because I heard that he's really good. So far I like Toph (Azores buddy <3), Sultana, Jacob, and Nick. Nick came to me right away and said he liked me and wanted an alliance with me. I was like sure!!! Who would I be to decline an alliance? An idiot, that's what I would be. I'm wondering how we're going to do idol hunting on this season and I hope we find out soon. I want to redeem myself from my Azores mess. That reminds me, Toph being here can be really bad for both of our games. If anyone know what Azores is, they know that I gave Toph my idol. They know that we were close, which can be really bad for our games. If people look at Azores and assume that we're still close (which we are), we're fucked in the long run. I love writing confessionals, I missed that in Azores. Sure, we had Ponderosa confessionals, but I wanted to talk more game shit in there. Another thing that I'm worried about: If Toph read my in-game confessionals during Azores, he knows that I'm reluctant to play by his side again. Or, if he has a brain, he can infer it from that. Hopefully, this wont all blow up in my face. I can't wait for the shit show to start after the immunity challenge.

I really am gonna have to fight the hosts

Not letting me idol search and putting me on this tribe. There is only ONE girl on my tribe. And rhone and the boys. I hate men fuck you all. Also Jake being on my tribe when he has the personality of a dead foot yikes. I hate this tribe i hate this game. Get me my shit i wanna leave now. 

Except jordan pines and daniel they cool.

Heyo! The name’s Johnny, from Survivor: India, the guy who went through only two tie votes in his seasons, and I guess I’m ready to swing at the sandbags again. I’m glad to be back and hopefully I don’t fall in the pits that I fell in last time. I’m not settling for premerge this time ‘round. So this tribe is definitely a lot bigger & badder than I expected. Lots of personalities, lots of players, and a shit ton of self-professed “bitches”, “villains”, and whatnot. I just want to survive a while in here so I’m ready to slap on the under-the-radar happy tribe mascot sticker. But of course, the twist is revealed. I tried for the advantage but as always, my luck runs dry and I’m beaten to it. Figured Jordan Pines had it and right I was - dude won immunity. Lucky fella. Oh well, better him than ~some~ people, because at least he probably won’t want me gone first. I’ve also had some decent chats with Issy & Daniel, a bit o’ back-and-forth with Chris, and barely anything with Jake, Isaiah, and LA. And Adrian & Rhone, as far as I know, is a no-show so far. I do know Adrian though, so hopefully that gives me some brownie points! Now we’re gonna go on a tribe call and if there’s anything I know about myself, I’m both awkward and quiet on large calls so… hopefully I leave a decent impression.

So the tribe call just ended with the understanding that a second one would start, and guess what didn’t happen? It does feel a smidgen shady so hopefully there isn’t some chat without me already made because THAT would suck. After the call, though, Jake comes to me all desperate asking “We’re good right? I won’t vote you.” Dang, this guy moves quick. He asks me what I want to do and when I say wait it out for a little bit, he says “Good plan, low key wanna help the tribe.” Mate, simmer down, no need to jump on the gameplay horse so quick. I feel like he has some bad connection with someone, but I’m just not quite sure who that’d be. I know nothing about Tumblr connections, sadly. I trust Jordan right now - not too much, of course, I’ve heard how good he is at this stuff - but I’ll give him a little info and hope he reciprocates. I just wanna live until I reach a point where I can go full India mode and explode onto the scene. We’ll have to see if I can suffer through this tribe, first… I’ll just suffer well.

GUESS WHO WON IMMUNITY PEEPS ANYWAYS so since im at least surviving 1 tribal i have time to build relationships with these people, i've been talking to amanda and she's cool, and atm im on call with jacob/toph/peyton and im waiting for someone to add me to an alliance because im so talented

Everything seems pretty tame but since there is a tribal coming up, that scares me. I like Madison, Taylor, Sultana, Toph, Jacob, and Nick as of now. I'm going to watch the videos right now to see where people's heads are at right now. If I can do that, I'll be able to get a better read on everyone. Hopefully, that will help me with figuring out who to vote out. I'll pray for the best while reading Animal Farm.

CONFESSIONAL: This is my first time in tumblr survivor history that I will be present at the premiere of the season. Pretty fucking excited. I'm like a survivor noob when it comes to the premiere. I've always been gone during it so this is my first premiere ever! I am hoping my 2nd and 1st place finishes don't put a early target on my back. I just need to make sure the tribe views me as an asset as opposed to a threat CONFESS: i think my status will help me. it says something about depression i think people will like that and that should be a convo starter

so me being the little bean that i am decided to have everyone join the call and now im an alliance called the "core fore" i mean like its me Payton, madison, and Jacob! okay that was just some basic ass info. here's my thoughts on everyone else! Amanda sledge: the only person i will trust in this game. she played an idol on me in Azores and if that isn't trust i don't know what else is. Payton: he seems ok, i mean he kinda seems Plainer then Rasin Bran but i mean her has a goat farm and litty. Madison: she seems woke and i would like to work with her given her immunity win and letting everything happen with this alliance already taylor: i mean he seems ok. But like he just got on call so ill keep you posted on him. Sultana: a woke ass queen! i really wanna work with her she seems super funny and chill and like a queen of everything she dose like harassing her mom for food! i would love to work with her will she wants too as well! the others: they have said nothing so like ima try and get one of them out now or payton. dfjbndofb Ok so currently i'm in about 2 alliances! Amanda, nick and myself are in one alliance. meanwhile i'm in an alliance with  Jacob, Payton, and Madison together so like i have no idea if this is good or not because i don't wanna be caught so i feel like i need to tell Amanda so she dose not get mad and i can work with her! I really have no clue on what is going to happen. I don't want to trust anyone yet because tomorrow we will see were the lines will be drawn. I am like 50% that someone inactive will be voted off. but not if i have anything to say about that! I want payton out because i feel like he is dry and kinda basic. after all i will try and be the villain of the season oops! i honestly really like Petra though and think shes very chill and interesting. lets hope she feels the same way. i'm hoping i can just stay calm for now and then go and cry about it latter. i honestly am very hungry right now though like i ugh. Ok that is besides the point. But i feel like i need to bring my paranoid level up to like a ten because i can't trust none of these bitches or i'm gonna be scared as hell. my ears are open to everything and i have a google docs open and im ready to kill some people. 

So at the beginning of the game, me and Amanda talked alot and decided to team up. Then Amanda was good friends with Toph. So then we formed a three person alliance. While we were on call, me Amanda, Toph and Suitana formed an alliance. The twist was announced that both tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope I am not first out but I got a solid 4 person alliance called the Wig Snatchers with them.

I feel like I'm the least extra person here and some of them I think don't like that I'm not super extra

ok idk who 2 vot cuz im just a woke ass bitch and like i havent come across anyone that im rly annoyed with xcept payt TBH hes just awkward and like totally denies my humor via not laughing and everyones talking about this person called jenna they had tea drama with or smth so im like O _ O

I love being on tribe calls because late at night is when alliances are made! I'm currently in an alliance with Petra, Nick, and Toph (Seamus too). We don't have the majority yet, but I like Jacob and Madison. I hope they will vote Jenna with us. I heard nothing but bad things about her from Toph and she seemed cool, but I think right now it's our best option to get her out since she has no wifi at the moment.

Hey everyone, first confessional. I have not played in one of these games in a very long time so I feel very rusty. Anyway, this double tribal twist could really mess up my game but I can't worry about that at the moment. My plan is watch my tribemates videos and try to find common ground. I know Poteet is really embarrassed about going out premerge, and I went premerge too so we can talk about that. I need to take it one step at a time.

I have gained the trust of a good amount of the tribe, and they all are just kinda doing what I say, so i feel like i have some power suddenly. Not saying I'm on the path the a villain but we'll see what happens.

i want to die

Joy, oh joy. I wake up this morning (if 11:30 AM is considered morning) with Jake being the only message to me and I think, THAT can't be a good sign. So he reiterates him wanting to work with me, yadda yadda, badda bing, and says that he values we have history. I'm pretty sure our history is just like one or two Skype minis so unless I'm forgetting something, ripperoni. He also tells me he's "heard a few names floating around" but when I asked him who it was, no response. Go figure. Luckily, Chris Stoner messages me and tells me that as of now Jake is the vote (I'm assuming from the mind of Jordan Pines) so at least I have some solace there. I don't think I'll be going at the end of the day, but there's still the very real fear that my head's on the chopping block, and I don't want to be lynched tonight, nosiree.

So while my video confessional is uploading, it seems like I got Taylor's vote to get Jenna out! I'm really excited to not be the first boot, honestly. I'm sad though because she never got to send me pictures of her kittens. Maybe if I keep her she'll show me! Anyways, how's your day? My mom broke our snapchat streak and it's quite disappointing... like I came out of your vagina and you're going to treat me like this?? Oop my video confessional uploaded here it is in all its (not) glory!

So Jake said that Rhone had suggested Issy (due to their beef from another game, pretty sure it was a wiki game I viewed lmao) or Chris to go home. I found this a little bit fishy but then again I've found most of what Jake's been doing to be fishy. However Jake seems to think it'll be Issy going which is convenient. I also hopped on a call with Jordan Pines and we traded a bit of info - I'm not going to give him EVERYTHING persay (I've been told many stories about him so best to tread lightly) but luckily he gave me some. Jake had randomly made an alliance chat with Jordan and Rhone last night without informing either of them and both distrusted it. Jordan wants to keep some sorta secret information sharing pact between the two of us and I'm game, but I need to make sure he trusts me so I still have to actually give him credible tales. I've just gotta stay on his good side for now and be the nice, honest fella on the tribe. That'll keep me afloat until the swap (which seems like it'll be an auxillary situation. How fun). I do like Isaiah and Adrian a bit and I wouldn't mind working with those two, it'd be nice to get something rolling along with em. We'll have to see, though, because I'm not sure how social Adrian's been so far. As of now, our first boot should be Jake. Let's just hope we can stay strong and not lose to those meddlesome newbies.

I'm not going to lie... I'm a bit nervous. A tribal shouldn't be going this smoothly  unless there's something going on in the background. Dear god, let this work out. I will write more after tribal is over, I'm just too nervous right now.