#old old draft

[sappy-detective]

i was recently talking to my friend about stuff we did and i was just thinking of DICE. i think dice is a silly little friend group who does silly (slightly illegal) things in the name of fun. some things likeee

smashing a shop window

spitting in condoms and throwing them at peoples cars or shops they hated in winter so they would freeze over (gross but sue me it’s kinda funny)

don’t dong ditch

spray painting buildings

throwing bags and bags of sugar into u settled concrete so it wouldn’t dry

stealing signs off streets as decoration

they also have a car seat in their back yard because.. they do

this is all loosely based off the HC that they all are not related and they got kick out of their house for whatever reason and ouma just started picking them up and let them live with him in a abandoned house they probably got from squatters rights or something. think punk house if the punk houses had a little more order.

how fun!! here r some stories from me because why not? you can probably tell where i live from this story but.. a few years ago someone dumped an alligator in our local pond, river, lake thingy and it was in the news and it was kind of an ‘attraction’ for a while until animal control got the gator out. they had signs warning about it and me and my mom thought it was the coolest thing so we grabbed it. along with other signs and stuff we have in our home (one still attracted to the pole, so, fun). spitting in (UNUSED) condomes and throwing them is totally not NOT okay but it’s funny so. where i live there’s just car seats that have been ripped from the car and left on the side of the road, some in a ditch, which i would go to and smoke when i skipped. don’t smoke kids please. the rest are things my friend/step mom has done and i think they’re funny sooooo

[autisticqueenorder]

[darcyolsson]

in loving memory of tumblr's april fools' pranks 💐 2014 - 2024

icymi, tumblr used to do an elaborate april fool's prank every year, but this year they suddenly stopped. here's a somewhat detailed recap of everything they did over the decade:

2013 - mishapocalypse (honourable mention): tumblr staff didn’t start doing april fools until 2014, but the mishapocalypse happened on tumblr in 2013 and i feel like this list would be incomplete without it

2014 - tumblrpro: upon opening your dash you were greeted by an “inspirational” video, that ended with the option to get “tumblrpro (for free)”. all it did was put a top hat on your icon.

2015 - tumblr executivesuite/coppy: a copying machine appeared in the corner of your dash. it would offer tips on how to use tumblr, like clippy the paperclip used to do in microsoft word. as the day went on, it slowly broke down and died right in front of your eyes. many people hated him (but not me). you could also make a (small) spreadsheet. @executivesuite2016 is the official blog.

2016 - this is decision/lizard election/tumblrdecides: a parody of the 2016 US elections. there were 4 lizards (well, one of them turned out to be a salamander in a scandal) to vote for. the dash looked different and there was a live news report with election updates, as well as an election blog for each lizard. they all had their own slogans and you would get an "i voted" button after you voted that would get slapped next to your icon. there were built-in functions to make an election poster for your favourite lizard and to create a text post that supported your lizard of choice that autogenerated a statement for all your followers to read. imo tumblr’s april fools peak. @thisisdecision2016-blog is the official blog, @mop-2016-blog @wretchedtooth @timefordeborah-blog were candidates. rick also had a blog (rick-official) but that now seems to have vanished because he ended up dropping out of the election. mop won, if you're curious. by far the most elaborate prank tumblr ever did.

2017 - horse friend: a tamagotchi-inspired game where you had to take care of a little horse in the corner of your screen. it came with a randomly generated name, and you had to feed and clean up after it. if you didnt take good care of it, it died. you could then hatch (yes, hatch) a new one. there was also an option to look at the names of all your dead horses. this is now available to buy in the tumblr shop. @horse-friends is the official blog.

2018 - tumblcoin: a parody of cryptocurrency (this was the year bitcoin took off). you could ‘invest’ in tumblcoin, with which you could in turn buy things with to spice up your dash, including last year’s horse friend, coppy from 2015, and a frame for around your icon. you could share the amount of tumblcoin you owned in an automatically generated gif post which would be tagged #tbc2018 and #tumblcoin. @tumblcoin is the official blog.

2019 - @memories: this blog still functions the way it did on april fools itself! it's like mad libs, where it takes post templates and then adds in tags you use a lot and users you frequently interact with on your main blog. like a personalized shitpost bot.

2020 - group chat prank/@storybot: it was so hard to find info on this because it was contained entirely in the now-defunct group chat function, which no one used. i had to go through the notes of this post for information because no one cared enough to actually write anything explaining it. turns out, you could write a story with your mutuals by adding storybot to your group chat. it also kept working after april fools (well, up until the group chats were deleted) just like memories. many people missed out on it entirely because they did not use the group chat function.

2021 - tumblcryptids: tumblr allowed you to adopt “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. clicking a button that said "Summon thy Tumblrcryptid" would spawn an image of a little blob-shaped creature with a short description, which would always read "Hi! My name is [randomly generated name]. I love [thing most people like]. I hate [thing most people dislike]. Like my parent, I can't get enough of #[tag from your main blog]." you could share them in a post, which would automatically add the tag #NFTumblcryptids to your post. and yes, people on the piss on the poor website freaked out about it because they thought they were real NFTs harming the environment. @tumblcryptidadoptioncenter is the official blog.

2022 - click-a-thon: when you clicked a light switch on your dashboard, a bunch of colourful things showed up, like a sponge you could move around, an "engagament meter", clickable buttons, and a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when you clicked it. you could. the crabs, like horse friend, are still available in the tumblr store as of 2025. here's some screenshots. there were various ways to share your crab activities, which would all get tagged #april fools 2022. the prank was presented as a marketing technique created by Brick Whartley, a fictional businessman character created by tumblr, who (afaik) originated in a post on the official blog of the 2018 april fools prank, albeit originally in a different role. around this time he also started functioning as the mascot for tumblr's shop ( @emporium )

2023 - abstract reactions (emoji reacts): buttons were added to every post that allowed you to add emoji reactions, many of them based on tumblr inside jokes (horse as a reference to horse plinko/horse friend, vanilla for the vanilla extract meme, pikaman, bug for bug race, and brick whartley, who wasn't a meme but staff really wanted him to be). if one specific emoji was used a certain amount of times it would add an effect to the post, eg many cheese emoji reacts would cover the post in cheese. this was also attributed to Brick Whartley ("his" blog @brickwhartley also documented the day)

2024 - boop-o-meter: allowed you to ��boop” other users who had opted in to the booping, like facebook’s poke feature back in the day. depending on how long you held the button, you would either boop, super boop, or evil boop. on the dashboard there was a counter for both how many times you had booped others and how many times others had booped you, as well as how many boops were given side-wide. when booping someone, an image of a cat paw appeared. you would get badges (which can still be used) for booping 1, 100 and 1000 times. if you gave/received more than 999 boops, the counter would switch to showing a three-letter word (see this post for specifics). this was brought back for halloween 2024 (as BOOp-o-meter. get it), with a ghost, skeleton and mummy paw. no official blog, but here's an official recap for april first from staff. i believe this was the only april fools prank that was mobile user friendly.

2025 - @fandom is running some polls, i guess

[caemidraws]

---

[moechies]

“shit, this pussy’s damn tight, girl.” toji chuckles, leaned against the wooden headboard of his mattress, with your pretty cunt impaled on his dick. you’re sat upon the man’s lap, back slumped into his bigger body as he lifts your legs to your chest with a singular arm.

“hnn—! thank y-you, thank you, thank you !” you slur, holding onto the man’s bigger arm for leverage as he pumps his cock against your cunt, your round butt slapping against his pelvis.

“tch,” he smirks, “thank you? haven’t heard that one b’fore.” his thrusts come to a slow, leaving you breathless and dazed. you lay back against the man’s chest as he continues lazy but brutal pumps to your poor cunt, pushing against him in an attempt to get him to slow.

“hnn.. ‘m sorry..” you cry out, embarrassed, face growing flushed as your nose scrunches at the memory of a few seconds prior.

toji can’t help but fall into a short fit of laughing at your adorable innocence, soft lips curled into a mean smirk, “‘s alright, sweet thing. yer so polite, hm?” he taunts, pressing a weighted kiss against your lips. you slip your tongue against his before you lose the chance, pressing your face closer to the man’s touch.

“y’take cock like a naughty brat, though.” he whispers in between a breath.

his sloppy tongue overrules yours, slowly but surely swallowing you whole. he peeks through a sliver of his eye, watching you pant into his mouth with your eyes squeezed tight, drool leaking down your chin, so entirety focused on kissing him back. “toji—“ you mewl.

“ya started it,” he mumbles against your swollen lips, giving your cunt a soft slap. you jerk and cry against his hold, pushing the said assaulting hand away, making him giggle. “what a dumb little thing.”

“please ! ‘m gonna c-cum! toji, please, please—“ you cry as his thrusts get harder, pace becomes sloppier, before it all comes to an abrupt stop.

your pants slow, gentle mewls that leave your lips as you begin to fall into a fit of sobs. “no..” toji breaks a grin, petting against your hair whispering sweet praises, “‘m sorry doll, daddy’s tired. let me have a break, yeah?” he adores how you look up to him with bleary eyes, chest full of pained hiccups as you attempt to bounce yourself atop his cock in your position. “..w-wanna cum!”

“don’t be so selfish, sweet thing. ‘m old, ‘s what ya get for hangin’ around me.” he lies through his teeth. pace slowly resuming. his creamy, slicked up cock causes his thrusts to grow in noise, face flushing at the evidence of the use of your poor cunt.

“daddy —!”

“shhh, settle down and let daddy focus, yeah?” he mumbles breathlessly against the shell of your ear, “or else daddy might get too tired.. and won’t be able to finish ya off.” he sighs.

[ahhrenata]

rainy day 🌧️

[wormspoodle]

some old man mcgucket doodles

[yaolmao]

tell your baby that i’m your baby

[povoti]

Some Cater

[imjusthella-gay]

to be taking a bath with a girl and playing with her tits and kissing her neck. hearing how she falls apart from my touch. maybe my hand will slip under the water and play with her clit just so i can hear her moans echo off the bathroom walls, who knows.

[snarkspawn]

quick redraw of a super old thing from ages ago

[daemaid]

AU type thing where instead of imprisoning him, the Bishops somehow manage to wrestle the red crown off of Narinder and he is reduced to his mortal form.

[lostinmycolor]

his touches are gentle. he's a strong man, a lot stronger than you. he could easily toss you around like a ragdoll, squeeze you, spank you. he does sometimes, when you beg so nicely with that sweet voice of yours. because how could he ever say no to you? but most times, he's gentle. he prefers it that way. he handles you like you're made of porcelain, like you'll crumble in his hands if he's a little too rough

his voice is gentle too. it's deep, the timbre strong enough to reverberate through your bones. but he only speaks this softly around you. you deserve to be spoken to like this. you're such a good girl for him, he could never raise his voice at you, even if he were upset. he'd live with a guilty conscious for the rest of his life if he did that.

his breathing is heavy from sudden the absence of the friction as he stops to adjust your position, chest rising and falling vigorously as he wraps his fingers around one of your ankles, carefully lifting it over his shoulder, his free hand gently holding your other leg down against the mattress. you protest softly, wanting him to keep going, and he smiles fondly at the sound of your needy whine.

“i know sweetie, i know,” he says softly, soothingly rubbing your leg that’s now draped onto his shoulder before continuing his gentle ministrations, his hips lightly bumping against yours, the light sound of your bodies colliding joining the sound of your labored breathing and soft moans.

his touches are gentle, just like his love. his love is soft, gentle—quiet, but in a way that speaks volumes. his love is perfect, like when you hear a song that perks up your ears, or eat a food that you were craving for so long. it’s perfect, like when he angles his hips just right to hit that spot inside of you that makes your eyes rolls back, your back arch off the bed. it’s just what you need.

he leans down to wrap an arm around your torso, lifting you in a way that makes your lower abdomen touch his with every thrust, the warmth of his body closer against yours making your skin prickle, and you can’t help the way you instinctively push your hips up to meet his, every movement making the sensation more intense.

you’re perfect to him too, especially when you’re like this—pressing your thigh against his hip more firmly, writhing and mewling so sweetly under him as you feel yourself starting to tip over the edge, so close to falling into that abyss of bliss, closer to reaching the high you’re so desperately craving.

there’s really no love purer than his, you realize, as he gently grabs your face, making you look up at him, his fingers holding your jaw firmly but not enough to cause any type of discomfort. you realize it when he looks straight into your eyes as he spills into you, that final thrust he gives you enough to finally tip you over that edge, a soft “that’s my girl” leaving his lips as he watches you succumb to the pleasure. you realize it when he leans down to place the softest kiss against your lips, and you feel how his own lips curl into a tender smile as he does so.

there is and never will be a love purer than his.

[emacrow]

The civilization trapped in an ice meteorite.

Superman, after saving the earth from another earth ending bomb, breeze through space, were glowing clouds of gas and dust known as a planetary nebula floated around aimlessly with glowing green dwarf particles as if a solar system was sucked into, but there only lays a sun and 7 planets here before before something caught his eye.

A pusling aimlessly floating ball like metorite full of frozen white ice with green dipped in the bottom in the middle of space. The pulsing glow flickers like a couple of very slow heartbeats.

Superman used his x ray vision to see inside, and what he saw immediately immediately griped the ice and speed flew over through back to the Watchtower which was not far from here.

Superman spoke in the coms of his oxygen mask to the Watchtower.

"Open the space entrance gates, and someone calls in Beatriz Da Costa. I found a floating town trapped in metorite ice with what seems civilians' insides." Superman spoke in the coms as he pushed the metorite carefully toward the watchtower, unaware of the gigantic glowing transparent being with 8 neon green eyes staring at him wrapped around the ice metorite like a Serpent to it's eggs.

[casart]

Hi hello could I interest you in some prinxiety (⁠人⁠⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)💜❤

[trek-tracks]

Sometimes I feel like all recent Trek media is the kid in the car asking "can we go get new Spock?" and I'm the bone-tired mom clutching the wheel while saying "we have perfectly good Spock at home"