#old man with angel and rose motifs

[oldirontender]

I WANNA BE A KINGSLAYER!!!!!

^^^ bonuses

[the-nightmare-before-bucky]

everything i love about hunchback of notre dame

*the g-slur will be replaced with roma, romani, or something else and will have brackets ([ ]) surrounding it to indicate a word change*

Olim -  i love the build up at the end into bells of notre dame 

bells of notre dame -  ”and some say the soul of the city’s the toll of the bells, the bells of notre dame” the fact that it’s esmeralda singing it. we’re already off to a great start.  jehan’s voice is so nice it’s beautiful the foreboding saints after jehan dies and right into the “ahhhhs’ “and the saints regarded frollo from their stone facade and he felt their gaze as if it were the eyes of God” - the difference between the stone saints for frollo and quasi is so interesting. One sees them as terrifying, boring into his soul because of his darkness within, while the other sees them as his friends and aid on his journey.  the way frollo says quasimodo “now here is a riddle to guess if you can, sing the bells of notre dame” “what makes a monster and what makes a man?” - song by Quasi. It just makes me tingle, I love it.  the way this song sets up so many motifs is just so good

Out There -  the beginning is manipulation 101 (it is I alone, your only friend, how can i protect you, etc)  michael arden is an icon i swear. he is phenomenal. his e m o t i o n “but part of theeeeeem and Ooooooout there” “out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives”  “heedless of the gift it is to be them. if I were in their skin I’d treasure every instant” “i swear i’ll be content with my share. won’t resent won’t despair old and bent I won’t care. I’ll have spent oooone daaay out theeeeeeeeeere” Amazing, showstopping, what a way to open a show and introduce a character, I cry almost every single time

Topsy Turvy pt. 1 -  “somehow i can wander through this helter skelter without fear now. no one sees i’m here now out here in the woooorld!” ugh i love him  “on the sixth of januervy” too catchy

Rest and Recreation -  I used to hate this song but now i’ve matured and learned that it is amazing I just love the tune, idk, it’s so fun and catchy until you get to the bridge and that’s what i love “rest and recreaaaaaa- four years at the front...” that’s on ptsd “the air filled with a stench of bodies in a trench. whoever pays the most i call my liege.” just the bitterness when he says that line. Amazing.  “and whatever i do i’ll make sure this is true i will never go back again.” i literally adore this part so much. it gives him so much motivation. and then we go right back into him being flirty because he’s covering up his ptsd with fun “But for a few night fun is my mission” oh me oh my that’s very attractive he sounds so awkward talking to frollo im going to cry  “there is no time for rest and recreation,” poor guy

Rhythm of the Tambourine -  “flash of an ankle flip of a skirt...come see me dance, hey what can it hurt?” I just love how she sings this part its so well done the dance break music is amazing. it’s just so nice and a great vibe.  “this girl who is she” the layers!!!! all three of them doing it in rounds!!! I love it!!! “she dances like the devil//she dances like an angel//an angel” AHHHHH beautiful, great way to show the differences in characters “but with such fire// such fire” I am in love with this line oh my gosh. like frollo is thinking about hellfire and pheobus is just like heart eyes i am also in love with esmeralda thank you

Topsy Turvy pt. 2 -  “aren’t you going to join in on the competition?” she’s so cute and pretty and i love her “we asked for the ugliest face in paris and we found him, aye?” love  “eeev...ry..bod...y”  “Hail to the king....oh what a king...girls give a kiss...we’ve never had a king like this!” just so much fun to sing 

Into Notre Dame -  “how could you do this to me?” more manipulation  “like a begger recieving an alm.” i love a good simile “the light of notre dame” I love the way she sings this, it’s just so good 

God Help the Outcasts -  “were you once an outcast too?” i love this because the answer is yes. Jesus was treated as other because of His teachings. He was most definitely an outcast, literally cast out of so many different towns. And He does listen to her prayer and it just makes me so emotional.  i literally...there is nothing wrong with this song. everything about it is beautiful.  “God help the outcasts or nobody will” chills every single time “I ask for love I can possess. I ask for God and hos angels to bless me” right into “I ask for nothing, I can get by” I LOVE IT SO MUCH it’s so beautiful.  the chorus of this show deserves a raise “but I know so many less lucky than I” really helps to show Esmeralda’s character a lot I think. 

Top of the World -  such a beautiful song like I could write the entirety of this song here because I love it so much I love the saints part so much the part when the saints are singing and esmeralda are singing is just beautiful especially the part “here at the top of the world(E)//look at you sitting at the top of the world(S)” “the two of us sitting/the two of us sitting/the two of you sitting” right into “On top of the world!” one of my favorite parts of the entire show oh my goodness. The way Quasi, Esmeralda, and the Saints all blend together so well is just askjhfklafkj

Tavern Song -  I can’t not dance to this song oh my it’s so so so fun.  just like the melody especially during “in the dark of the night, in the dead of the winter...come keep me warm until morning” I LOVE  It gives me very much Jack and Rose vibes from that part in Titanic “with the taste of the wine, hold me close while we’re dancing, but I hear you sighing, winter is dying, you’ll keep me warm until morning” HER VOICE IS SO GOOD the cross between the tavern folk singing and frollo singing in the Hellfire tune is just so good. just so good. i’m going to cry this show is beautiful.  the fading “come keep me warm until morning”s is UGH so good

Heaven’s Light -  When I tell you how much I adore this song.... his voice is just so soothing. the little flute thing in the background is just so sweet the way he sounds so happy the first time he says “Heaven’s light” i love him so much “but” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i cannot  “I swear it must be heaven’s liiiiiiiiiiiiiiight” one of my favorite notes in the entire show i swear it’s so beautiful also the bells of notre dame going right into Hellfire....ICONIC

Hellfire -  One of my favorite villain songs ever. Especially in this version, you can really hear his inner turmoil over Esmeralda. and i just love it.  from the get go, frollo is trying to put him above everyone (”you know i am a righteous man”, “so much purer than...”) and yet he is still struggling with lust like everyone else...he’s still a sinner “i feel her, i see her, the sun caught in her raven hair, is blazing in me out of all control” SO GOOD  “Like fire, hellfire” go look back at what he says in rhythm of the tambourine because it’s the same thing and i just “is turning me to sin” blaming esmeralda for his own sinful thoughts. it is not her that is turning him to sin. he is sinning of his own accord. but also the desperate way he says sin is always so interesting  “it’s not my fault, i’m not to blame, it is the [roma] girl, the witch who set this flame! It’s not my fault, if in God’s plan, he made the devil so much stronger than a man!” I really really love this series of lines so much. I can’t really explain it, but especially that last part. it just breathes a supposed “holy man” who can’t accept that his sins are his own and caused by himself so he’ll blame every single other thing other than himself. i’ve known too many people like this. “protect me maria, don’t let this siren cast her spell, don’t let the fire sear my flesh and bone” just so good. I love the voices in the background.  “destroy esmeralda and let her face the fire of hell, or else let her be mine and mine alone” he would rather condemn an innocent woman than confront his own sin. again, so many people are like this today. it’s just so thrilling to see that mindset condemned in media. also, patrick page is amazing  “hellfire, dark fire” the tone switch from him being scared of the hellfire the first time he said it to now he’s using it as power (how many of us have had hell weaponized against us? raise of hands?) is just so frightening and amazing all at the same time “God have mercy on her, God have mercy on me” I cannot tell you how much I love this line. it is phenomenal, especially the way Page sings it. I think that it is one of the central lines to his character (along with the “wicked shall not go unpunished” which i’ll probably talk about later) just the emotion he has in his voice when he says this line....chef’s kiss. especially with the next line (”but she will be mine or she will burn”), it seems like he knows what he’s doing is wrong (hence why he needs mercy), but he’s going to do it anyway

Esmeralda -  easily one of my favorite songs in this entire show. what an amazing end of act song oh my  the trumpets!! at the beginning!!! I love it!! “being under suspicion of sorcery, witchcraft, and the arts of hell” that is not actually why he’s arresting her which doubly means he knows that what he’s doing is wrong the tune of this song is SO GOOD I LOVE IT “these are the flames of Esmeralda...” this dude is obsessed with fire feels very much like the mob song from beauty and the beast “with the might of Notre Dame” using God in such a vulgar manner is blasphemous and frollo knows it. he’s using God’s might and strength to hunt down an innocent woman because he can’t control his own desires. I’m losing my mind “but the madam, that whore, denied it and swore by the saints, the saints of notre dame” i have no idea why but I adore this line and i love the way that it was song. I used to think that the madam was actually just esmeralda in disguise which made the next part of the song seem all the funnier the little lute strumming after frollo says “very well, we’ll set fire to it” because pheobus is having a change or heart “and he held the torch that crackled like the [woman’s] voice....and he knew this was the moment he must make a choice” this is why i like the play phoebus and not really the movie phoebus very much. i just love it  the chorus singing God help the outcasts in the background...amazing...chills “you’d throw away a promising career” Frollo’s desperate attempt to get him to comply  “God help the outcasts, or nobody will!” I LOVE THIS PART WITH MY WHOLE SOUL IT IS SO GOOD sometimes i’ll listen to this song on repeat just to hear him say this “you’re relieved of your patrol” “consider it my highest honor.” Iconic. just...so good. gives me very much “thank you for your consideration” vibes  the way frollo says kyrie eleison here is just so good frollo’s little speech is very cool with the chorus in the background I love Quasi’s little frantic verse there. you can hear his desperation in “fire, fire, smoke and flame” and then “is that all that I can do?” he wants to help his friend but he can’t and I know how horrible that feels phoebus part!!!!! I love it!!!! his voice is so nice!!! “with my career and body left for dead” nice, good, amazing.  “out there...” AHHHHHHH YES MOTIFS “somewhere she is lost//somewhere she is lost//Esmeralda!” love this bit so much  “the flames grow tall and sharp as fluer de lis” what a good metaphor, so good, so nice, I love the chorus they’re all amazing “all paris burns for esmeralda” now we’ve got burning again. are we talking about how paris is literally on fire because frollo is insane or is it the mob mentaility that is “burning” inside of them? good question.  “and still it all comes down to her and me” says three people. I love the melodies here. chills. so many of them. I love.  “the devil dwells in esmeralda//oh esmeralda//oh esmerlada//oh esmeralda” AHHHH again AHHHHHHH i love this bit (yes I know I say that a lot but its the truth) “wake up the city and sound the alarm!” good yes they’re all singing different bits and it’s growing and your heart is pounding until.... “these are the flames of esmeralda”  and then it all falls apart again oh my gosh it’s beautiful  until “the bells of notre dam!” and the “ah, ah, ah”s that I adore so much I love this song so much 

Entr’acte I can’t imagine how fun this would be to sing. it’s just a vibe Flight Into Egypt - I used to skip this song but I have since learned the error of my ways because i love it “then Quasimodo you can too” love that, just like he says it “and she gave it to you because she knows you’re smart” the fact that these are just part of his imagination so it’s really him telling himself he’s smart and i’m going to cry I love him so much “and this jewel must show where we’re supposed to meet” love his voice so much “it’s a map. it’s a map!” he’s so excited. he deserves the entire world.  “I’ll save esmeralda, her angel will be me,” brb crying  “for her I will be strong” still crying I love the entire end bit how their voices meld and the music swells all up until Quasi sings the last bit. it’s just so amazing

The Court of Miracles -  I’ve always loved this song. it’s so fun, but also sad.  “brother you’re there” YES  “but the dead don’t talk so you won’t be reveal what you found!” dead man tell no tales vibes “Not terribly different from bees in a hive” I love how erik says this line. claupin would be so fun to play oh my.  “where it’s a miracle...if you get out alive”  “any last words....i thought not *laughter*” obsessed with this  “but we must protect at all cost our secret, it’s our lives or yours!” and that’s the sad reality. that’s what makes this song sad to me.  “So you’re going to hang!” a lighter note as an end. very nice. 

In a Place of Miracles -  a few notes in and i’m already crying this song is so beautiful and i adore it. it makes me sad in a million ways but it also makes me so happy. the play did such a great job of making me love pheobus and esmeralda but also feel so, so bad for Quasi “but somehow you have made me someone new” yup i’m definitely crying “now i’m asking if you’ll let me come with you” you can’t see me but the tears are real “though our lives are tattered and torn, all i’m feeling now is reborn. i must be...” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Pheobus and esmeralda’s voices just meld together so well im gonna cry it’s so nice and as soon as the first chorus is over, the tears of happiness turn into tears of anguish because Quasi pulls up with his heaven’s light reprise and it tears my heart to shreds my heart breaks for him esmeralda and quasi singing at the same time gives me very much eponine and marius vibes from a heart full of love (we love victor hugo so much /sar) like the parallels in what the both of them are saying is just phenomenal “no more need for a heart of stone//better to have a heart of stone!” AHHHH STOP I LOVE IT AND IT HATE IT AT THE SAME TIME “that holds no hope in heaven’s light” stop i’m so sad and then the chorus come in and it’s just so beautiful “will we reach a friendlier shore, will we find a haven once more, where we’ll be in a place of miracles...” it’s so gorgeous “where’s my place of miracles//in a place of miracles” that sound? yeah that’s me sobbing in the corner and it builds again and i love it so much it’s just so beautiful 

Justice in Paris -  this is the least played song on spotify (by like hundreds of thousands) and I think that’s so funny but i think the chorus does such a great job here, as usual, because they just have that menacing sound to them

Someday -  another of my favorite songs. this one is hauntingly beautiful and I have so many opinions. get ready.  esmeralda is just so sad and you can hear it in every single word she says. god my heart is already breaking.  “that i’d live to see a day of justice dawn” i haven’t actually seen the stage version so i’m not sure if they have the part where she cries out “justice!” when quasi is getting attacked, but this part just hurts me to the soul because of that specifically. she cried out for justice and now she gets none. “and though I will die long before that morning comes, i’ll die while believing still it will come when I am gone” this line just hits so, so hard. i can’t even talk about it. just imagining her singing this and pheobus listening to her with tears in his eyes...nope i cannot...i will cease to exist and then he joins in and i can just imagine her feeling no longer alone because she’s hoping that it comes “someday” and he’s echoing it, assuring her that it will. I can just picture her trying to stay strong as she says “Godspeed this bright millennium on its way” but she can’t and so her words fall out as she’s saying “let it come” and she can’t finish but pheobus finishes it for her. “someday” and I can just see her breaking down. she’s going to die and she never gets to see it, but he assures her that it’s coming. and he starts it up again. he starts singing again, and I think that it gives her the strength she then needs to finish.  “someday, these dreams will all be real. Til then we’ll wish upon the moon!” of all the lines in the entire play, this is my absolute favorite. the way the sing it, the power they hold, their voices blending together so smoothly and perfectly. i cannot handle how amazing it is.  “one day...some day...soon” and just like that, i am sobbing. beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful. 

While the City Slumbered - i love this little song. it’s so pretty and fast and it just gives us exactly what we need to know. love. 

Made of Stone -  Now to the last of my favorite songs. (Finale doesn’t count because although I love it, it hate it). You wanna know which song has the top score of making me cry the most? That’s right. This one right here. Let’s get into it. the talking at the beginning is a yes from me. “I only make things worse!” felt that also, the sound of him sobbing ruins me. “how do you know what I believe, what do you know of me? what do you know of all the things I feel? you’re only made of stone” finally him acknowledging that they’re not actually real and all apart of his imagination. “who is it that you see, instead of seeing what I am for real?” imposter syndrome? I understand that. “this twisted flesh and bone” the EMOTION  “you’re a liar” bro i cannot physically handle this. i can’t. I will cry. I am cry “would that I were made of stone like you,” back to that place of miracles song. i just he’s just so desperate. the only thing he could ever trust has fallen. He has nothing left. he can’t even trust himself (because that’s really all the stone saints by) “shut my brain down, if I were senseless, I’d prefer it” i totally understand the feeling of this. so often when thing go wrong in my life, i would like to shut down completely and stop existing and I think that’s what makes this song hit so damn hard “another gargoyle on this turret, spitting rain down to the stones below!” there is so much passion in his voice I love it so much. michael arden deserves the entire world for this performance “i’ve waste my faith believing in saints of plaster,” OUCH “the only one worth believing in was my master,” OUCH AGAIN “he’s the one who never lied. he told me it was cruel outside. he told me that i had to hide. his words were cold as stone, but they were true.” i can’t describe how emotional these lines make me. because he’s right but also it is such a painful, hard truth. ugh, i  “not like you”  “take all the dreams you’ve stone, take all your lies and leave me alone”  “alright Quasimodo, we’ll leave you alone,” that one hurt because as someone who pushes people away when they’re self destructing, the most painful part is seeing them actually leave you. even though you asked them too. “you’re right Quasimodo, we’re only made of stone, we just thought that you were made of something stronger.” now that’s a mic drop That would cut so, so deep.  “never again to wonder what’s out there” m o t i f s  “let it remain unknown. and my one human eye forever more be dry until the day i die, as if I were made of stone”  such a beautiful, heartbreaking, real song that I think so many people can relate to. I know I can. I have cried to this song so many times. I love it.  also, he holds that note for so long i’m impressed.

Finale - this song is long so get ready for it.  the crimes that Esmeralda is guilty for are not the ones that she was originally hunted for. he switched up his story. “the sentence is death!” immediate kyrie eleison (which i think is for frollo and not esmeralda) she spits in his face like a freaking queen “esmeralda!” Quasi’s cry is just so heart shattering and emotional I am so sad “he could remain stone no longer” I love that “sanctuary! sanctuary!” with the victorious sounds in the background are just so amazing “hear me, people of Paris, how much oppression will you allow?” with the chorus singing Someday in latin in the background?? I am not crying again “someday, your patience will finally break. why not make someday come right now?”  that part is just chef’s kiss. I love it so much. also, that’s the last we hear of pheobus. I’ve always wondered if he died so someone whose been in/seen the play, could you tell me? quasi’s prayer to the saints is just so good. i just love it so much. so beautiful. and it being similar in tune to Heart of Stone and having the part “raining fire on the stone below!” is just so good and then the moment between quasi and esmeralda is just... “you are home.” “home.”  and then we go to the top of the world reprise. haha. haha. ha.  “in my eyes you are beautiful too,” comparing him to the beautiful morning “i don’t think...forever...” “you’re such a good friend quasimodo” “yes your friend” and then she freaking dies and i’m so sad and then the music changes so quickly and it makes my heart drop every time “because of you” cut deep “at last we’re free of esmeralda. now that she’s gone, a poison dies with her.” to the tune of esmeralda. bitch i would have thrown frollo off that roof too “here in our sanctuary...sanctuary” “sanctuary? no sanctuary without her”  “even...loved her.” “love? what do you know of love?” I adore this part because Quasimodo finally realizes that Frollo’s treatment of him wasn’t love. It never was.  “no. you are the weak one. you the wicked one. And the wicked shall not go unpunished!” I cannot explain the fire that this lights in my bones. it’s amazing. just so good. and then all the voices, like the saints, come in “the wicked shall not go unpunished. the heart of the wicked is of little worth. the wicked shall not go unpunished” and they’re no longer on frollo’s side (they never were) the rising voices as quasi picks up frollo and is going to kill him *chef’s kiss* “You don’t want to hurt me” “yes you do” so, so, so, so, so good. i can’t even explain. it’s just good.  in to the abyss below! damnation! “the world is cruel, the world is ugly” yes  “but there are times and there are people when the world is not” i’m not 100% positive, but i’m pretty sure that’s jehan again and that’s just so beautiful. “and at it’s cruelest it’s still the only world we’ve got” the bitter truth “out there” yup yup yup crying you can’t stop me The bit with the chorus singnig someday in latin and english...i literally cant handle it. it is so freaking beautiful. and the violin? the woman singing is an icon. the voices blend together so beautifully. I am overcome with emotion. i- Quasi singing the last “someday” and then the blending into the beginning song and ugh “but here is a riddle to guess if you can, what makes a monster and what makes a man?” with the entire ensemble? yeah, that one feels good.  and being left off with the “ah”s

yeah, brb, i’m going to go listen to it again.

[spike-and-faye]

Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1.     Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2.     What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3.     The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

 Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

 PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in  movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

[mappinglasirena]

Picard Season 2, Trailer 2 (Pt 1)

This is the first full trailer we got, released on Star Trek Day in September 2021, and at just over 2 minutes, it is also the longest. We finall got a better idea of some of the things expecting us this season, including Los Angeles in 2024, Raffi and Seven bickering and being badass, The Conservatory Of Fate And Mystery, and the Borg Queen in action. Lots of fascinating stuff!

Fair warning: I’ve split this trailer in half, but this post is still extremely long! And has a ton of images, so mobile users beware 😅

Notes:

Dialogue in italics is voice over, dialogue that isn’t italicized is seen spoken on screen.

Where bits of dialogues have very clearly been cut together from different lines, I’ve indicated this by adding “[cut]”

The time codes refer to the versions of the trailers I have, your milage may vary.

My naming practices are not 100% consistent, though I did my best. I’m generally talking about the different settings of the show as

“Present” (2399-2400, when we meet our motley crew again after the events of Coppelius, at the beginning of episode 1);

“Totalitarian Nightmare” (The alternate version of the present Q throws the crew into. I’m usually referring to this as the dystopian or totalitarian present/clothes/Sanctuary Districts/whatever);

“Past” (2024, the past from the perspective of our heroes.)

I use “Sirena” and “alt!Sirena” somewhat interchangeably. Practically all of the shots of the ship in these trailers show the alternative version of the ship from the dystopian timeline, and where it’s orginial 2399 Sirena, I make that clear.

I focus so much on the clothing of the characters because that’s really helpful in grouping together shots, figuring out timelines, and trying to piece together which bits of the previews belong together. Bear with me.

Trailer 2 (First Full Trailer), Star Trek Day, September 2021

Scene 1 (Château Picard, present)

Shot 1 (00:00-00:03)

Picard, in back turtleneck, opens the large door to the conservatory.

Laris: “I first saw you as…”

Shot 2 (00:03-00:05)

Picard looks into the conservatory.

Laris: “… a man who chose the stars.”

Shot 3 (00:06-00:08)

Picard kneels down in the centre of the run-down conservatory.

Laris: “But after all this time…”

Shot 4 (00:08-00:09)

Picard picks up a shard of glass from the floor.

Laris: “… I’ve come to wonder.”

Shot 5 (00:09-00:10)

He lifts the shard to hold it against the light.

Laris: “Have you been seeking?”

Shot 6 (00:10-00:12)

Close-up of the shard, which shows a delicate rose motif in red and green.

Laris: “Or running?”

  Scene 2 (Château, Totalitarian Nightmare)

Shot 7 (00:12-00:13)

Picard wakes up in the alternate present conservatory.

Shot 8 (00:13-00:14)

Reversed shot of a young boy (Picard?) in vest and cap, opening the doors to the conservatory, walking into its centre, and turning in circles staring up at the sky (windows?). The shot flickers and flips upside down and back again, as it accellarates.

Shot 9 (00:15-00:17)

Exterior of the château.

Q: “Do you recall what I said, Jean-Luc…”

Shot 10 (00:17-00:22)

Shot panning from close-up of Picard’s face to Q standing in the château in his black judge’s coat.

Q: “…when last we parted ways?”

Shot 11 (00:22-00:24)

Fade in from black on Q standing in front of Picard. He starts talking in voiceover, then it’s diegetic.

Q: “The trial never ends.”

Picard: “Q.”

 Shot 12 (00:25-00:28)

Probably different location in, or on the terrace of the château. Picard shakes his head in annoyance, telling Q off.

Picard: “I am way too old for your…”

Shot 13 (00:28-00:28)

Q angrily stares at Picard.

Picard: “… bullshit.”

Q drowns out the end of the word with a snap of his fingers.

 Scene 3 (Collection of scenes, TN)

Shot 14 (00:29-00:31)

Drone’s-eye view of neon-lit Hong Kong at night. There’s an explosion near the top of a skyscraper and sirens blare in the distance.

Shot 15 (00:32-00:33)

Elnor and two women are running away from something. Elnor is in his street clothes and their surroundings look like the futuristic sanctuary districts. The woman running behind Elnor might be Oh?

Rios: “Guys?”

Shot 16 (00:33-00:34)

Rios in his present-jacket is leaning on something (or kneeling) at the back of La Sirena’s upper deck. The engine lights have been partially disassembled, but they are blue, and the Borg Queen is not attached to them (anymore?).

Rios: “We have big problems.”

Shot 17 (00:34-00:36)

Picard, dressed in black, is looking over his shoulder with question and concern. Judging from the lights, he’s on Sirena.

Rios: “Something moved us.”

Shot 18 (00:36)

Rios standing on the bridge of alt!Sirena after just having appeared in the Totalitarian Nightmare, looking startled and worried.

Shot 19 (00:37)

Seven and Picard in their totalitarian outfits, sitting at Sirena’s tactical and nav stations respectively, are thrown forwards against the consoles.

Shot 20 (00:37-38)

Shot of Rios shortly after his arrival, falling forwards against Sirena’s central console.

Scene 4 (Rally and Slum, Totalitarian Nightmare)

 Shot 21 (00:39-00:41)

Fade-in on the assembly hall. There are red-and-white banners, a red lighting scheme, a pit from which the Borg Queen will be raised, and crowds of people cheering in the stands.

Picard: “Q went back in time…”

Shot 22 (00:41)

Picard and Seven, in full authoritarian chique, are standing on the stage, looking uncomfortable.

Picard: “… and turned…”

Shot 23 (00:42)

Focus on Picard, standing stoically in front of one of the red banners.

Picard: “… our world…”

Shot 24 (00:43)

Shot over the heads of the cheering crowd, pumping their fists in the air. They seem to be wearing warm clothes, many rough-spun hoods and fingerless gloves.

Picard: “… into a…”

Shot 25 (00:43)

Two people in full black tactical armour hurry down the Future Sanctuary District street past market stalls. They have their rifles raised and the left eye holes of their black helmets are glowing red.

Picard: “… totalitarian…”

Shot 26 (00:44)

Two people in black tactical armour stand on top of a platform or wall, behind chest-high railing. They’re training their rifles on something nearer the ground and one of them fires a shot. The left eyes of their tactical helmets are red, the right ones white.

Shot 27 (00:44-00:45)

Elnor in his street clothes runs through some market stalls and clears an obstacle with a skilled jump as the display behind him explodes from a phaser blast.

Picard: “… nightmare.”

Shot 28 (00:45)

Seven is standing in front of an opened metal wardrobe in someone’s quarters on La Sirena. She’s wearing her burgundy jacket and staring at a mirror that’s currently hidden from view. It’s difficult to guess whose clothes are hanging in the closet. The lights are flickering unsteadily.

Shot 29 (00:45-00:47)

View over Seven’s shoulder at the hexagonal mirror. Seven looks critically at herself and touches her de-borged left eyebrow. Then she drops her hand.

Seven: “Do you understand what this means?”

 Scene 5 (In front of concert hall, TN)

Shot 30 (00:47-00:48)

Seven, in totalitarian blazer, is addressing the others.

Seven: “Time has been broken.”

Shot 31 (00:48-00:49)

Elnor, in his street clothes, is looking from Picard to Raffi, looking concerned.

Shot 32 (00:49-00:52)

Elnor, Raffi, and Picard are walking away from the concert hall. The slightly curved wall they walk along is festooned with red-black-white banners. Raffi is wearing her dystopian coat, Picard his totalitarian jacket. Raffi is holding onto Elnor’s arm as they walk. Picard is talking with determination (dialogue fading in from voiceover in previous shot).

Picard: “I will get us home. Together.”

Scene 6 (Château, Totalitarian Nightmare)

Shot 33 (00:53-  00:54)

Picard, in his dystopian biker jacket, is standing in the château, staring at something off screen in concern.

Shot 34 (00:54-00:56)

Reverse shot, looking over Picard’s shoulder at a portrait of a younger Picard. Instead of the expected red and white TOS-movie-era uniform, the man in the portrait is wearing a black uniform with a grey collar, and the delta pinned to his chest is symmetrical.

Picard approaches the painting and touches it with awe or dread.

Picard: “The only way to heal our future…”

Scene 7 (Borg Queen lab, TN)

Shot 35 (00:56-00:58)

Looking over Picard’s shoulder at Seven, Raffi, Elnor, and Agnes standing in the Borg Queen lab.

Picard: “… is to go back and…”

Shot 36 (00:58)

Picard, in his totalitarian coat, is standing in the Borg Queen lab, looking at Agnes and the others off screen.

Picard: “… repair the past.”

Shot 37 (01:00-01:02)

A door with a small window in it lifts upward with a pneumatic whoosh and release of mist. We’re looking out at the cluttered Borg Queen lab. Seven is standing closest to the door, Picard, Raffi, and Elnor stand behind her. Agnes cannot be seen.

Seven is breathing deeply and all of them look deeply concerned.

Picard: “There are…”

Shot 38 (01:02-01:03)

Picard is walking forward purposefully. Seven, over his right shoulder, is looking calm, Raffi, over his left shoulder, looks concerned, and Elnor looks like he’s reaching out for Raffi’s arm or hand.

Picard: “… ways of…”

Shot 39 (01:03-01:04)

Focus on Seven, who’s taking a few steps backward, looking scared.

Picard: “… traveling in time.”

Shot 40 (01:04-01:06)

The rig holding the Borg Queen slides forward into view. When it stops, the forcefield around her flashes once.

Shot 41 (01:06-01:08)

Picard is staring ahead with intensity. Raffi, Elnor, and Agnes stand behind him.

Agnes: “Great.”

Elnor looks over at her.

Shot 42 (01:08-01:09)

Focus on Agnes. She glances towards the others, then looks back at Picard.

Agnes: “Now what?”

 Scene 8 (Time Travel on La Sirena)

Shot 43 (01:09-01:10)

Close-up of Picard’s(?) hand plugging a cable sparking green energy into the Borg Queen’s back.

Shot 44 (01:10-01:11)

Close-up on the queen, staring ahead with a sinister smile. Sirena’s engine light is glowing blue behind her shoulder. She jerks her head to the side.

Shot 45 (01:11-01:14)

Chaotic, overlaying images of the crew on the bridge of Sirena. The engine light in the background (with the Borg Queen strapped to it, though too out of focus to be visible) is glowing green. Sparks are flying and lights flashing as we see the faces overlayed with extreme close-ups of Picard, Rios, Raffi, and Seven, looking ahead in a mix of concern and astonishment.

Masterpost Trailer 0 Trailer 1 Trailer 2 pt 2 Trailer 3 pt 1, pt 2 Trailer 4 Trailer 5

[angst-fairygodmother]

Light Fingers (The Umbrella Academy)

Diego’s vigilantism brings him repeatedly across the path of a young cat burglar. But as he finds himself developing feelings for the thief, he begins to wonder if there’s more to her than meets the eye, and whether they’re really on opposite sides. And as their relationship deepens, it brings with it a plot involving his estranged adopted father, and threatens to destroy all of them.

CHAPTER 9: FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Word Count: 2597 Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader Rating: T Cross-posted to AO3: here

Previous Chapter: Tireless || Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is there one you’re trying to match?” the clerk asked as Diego stared in bewilderment at the case of rings. 

“Oh. Uh, no. We didn’t really...do things the traditional way,” he explained awkwardly. 

“I see…” the clerk nodded knowingly, in a way that made Diego fairly certain they actually didn’t. “Well, we have some nice simple sets in case you decide to go back and fill in later, or you can buy it now with these ones?”

He pressed his lips together in thought. One the one hand, why get a ring symbolizing something that never happened? On the other, Y/N deserved all of the nicest things he could offer her, nicer than he could actually. 

“Let me see what you have,” he stated decisively, even though it was a decision not to decide until he had thoroughly looked over all of his options. 

At first, everything in the tray that the clerk pulled out looked exactly the same, and exactly like the kind of thing Y/N would hate, all unnecessarily large gemstones and gaudy detailing. And then one, nearly lost in the sea, caught his eye: the ring was solid silver, and made of three uneven, textured bands woven together. He pointed it out to the clerk who raised their eyebrows in surprise but offered it up, explaining that it had been a custom piece the purchaser never picked up. Upon closer inspection, Diego realized that the bands were each shaped to look like a different material: rope, barbed wire, and chain, all intricately braided with knots like roses where the three shapes met. It was perfect, like fate had designed it for you. 

“This is the one,” he breathed, awed by the luck of finding it, actually feeling tears sting at the corners of his eyes.

“An...excellent choice sir. I’ll just box it up for you. Unfortunately we don’t have any that would sit right with that one as a stack, but we do have one men’s band that has a similar braided motif if you’d like to take a look at that and forgo the third?”

He nodded, and the clerk moved over to another case to pull out another ring, this one a solid, flat silver with an engraved “rope” spiralling loosely around it. It wasn’t a perfect match, but it complimented the other well. He had never been one for metaphors, but this one smacked him in the face hard enough to not be ignored. 

He paid the clerk for both rings, not even caring about the price, and checked the time, deciding there was enough to visit the consignment shop down the road and at least find a clean shirt to wear.

~

“Heeey, Daniel,” you said cheerfully. “What are you up to this morning?”

“I was sleeping, since I have a day off for the first time in who knows how long,” your brother answered, voice still cottony from sleep but twinged with a sharp irritation. 

“Great! Can I ask you a huge favor?” you smiled pleadingly at the receiver, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. 

“What did you do?” you could almost picture him scowling as he leaned forward, all professional now.

“Nothing. It’s actually about what I want to do. It’s a long story, and kind of complicated. There’s this guy. I’ve been dating him for a few weeks, but also we’ve kind of had a...thing for almost two years,” you paused marvelling at the realization you had known Diego for so long and yet also that it felt like so much longer. “And we decided to…” you trailed off, knowing that his protective instincts would kick in, and also that he was prone to being judgmental. “Look, can you please, please, please meet us at City Park in an hour and be our justice of the peace?”

“What?!”

“I know that it sounds nuts and that as my big brother you have every right to question my sanity, but, don’t fight me on it. I love Diego, more than anything. Please?”

There was a long pause and you wondered if he had put down the phone, or fainted, or something.

“Are you sure about this?” he finally asked.

You took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to answer that. 

“No,” you finally answered. “I don’t know how to explain. It’s just this…feeling I have. Maybe it’s a mistake, but I’m taking a gamble. Chasing what I want. It’s worth it. He’s worth it.”

You heard a rustling and the slam of a drawer. Daniel sighed. 

“You’re going to need two witnesses.”

“I know, I’ll get that bit sorted. Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“You know I’ll do anything for you, Munchkin. I want you to be happy.”

“I am,” you assured, unable to keep the smile from your face, or out of your voice. “I really, really am.” 

You said your goodbyes and hung up the payphone, trying to hold in the overwhelming joy you wanted to scream to the universe. Continuing down the street, shoulders slightly hunched to the morning breeze, you stopped short when you passed a little boutique, something in the window catching your attention. 

As luck would have it, the owner was just flipping the open sign in the window, and when she saw you looking at the display mannequin, she offered you a small smile and waved you in, as only charming old ladies can. 

~

Your heart was in your throat as you walked briskly toward the park where you were supposed to meet your brother and Diego. You wanted to drag out the distance, afraid that rejection waited for you at the end, that he had decided your whole plan was outrageous and left, maybe for good. But at the same time, you were anxious to get there, both because of the frosty chill in the air, and more importantly, because of the excitement that made you feel like you were about to burst.

Patch kept pace with you easily, her long coat fluttering behind her and a soft smile on her face. Every once in a while she stole a glance over at you, marveling at how beautiful you were in the lilac dress you’d bought, your hair swept back and up by a thousand tiny bobby pins, (on anyone else the look would have been ruined by the black boots laced to your knee, but somehow on you it just added to it) and also pondering whether this was all some elaborate prank. She wouldn’t put it past you and Diego. 

When the gazebo was finally in sight, three silhouettes on its open platform, your feet skidded to a stop. 

“I can’t do this,” you said suddenly, turning to walk away before Eudora caught your arm. 

“What are you talking about, Y/N?” she asked softly, giving you that patented look of concern that made you want to spill every secret and fear you’ve ever held.

“It’s been three weeks,” you cried, tears spilling down your cheeks and making you grateful you hadn’t taken the time to stop for mascara. “And we just decide this morning to…? The first time we said ‘I love you’ was yesterday. This is crazy. He’s crazy.”

“Y/N,” she said, taking you by the shoulders, grounding you with her touch. “It’s alright to be nervous, or scared, or have your doubts. And you don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. You get to decide what happens next. So, if you want to walk away, I’ll walk with you. Do you want to?”

You thought for a moment. But any attempt to rationalize or approach the question with logic like you thought you should was drowned out by the sound of laughter, the crinkle of warm brown eyes, the feel of a hand in yours and your heart beating out a rhythm matched to his that seemed to say “I’m home, I’m home.”

You shook your head, swallowing thickly. “I don’t want to run; I want to do this?”

“That sounded like a question. Are you sure?”

You swallowed again, nerves making your tongue feel heavy. “Yeah. Yes. I’m absolutely sure.”

She smiled at you and you couldn’t help answering the expression with one of your own. 

“Good,” she said. “I think we should probably keep moving then, before he has a heart attack waiting.”

You laughed, wrapping her quickly in a hug and murmuring a word of thanks.

~

Diego felt his knees go weak and his stomach do flips as he watched Y/N and Eudora approach up the cracked cobblestones of the park path. She was always beautiful, but now she looked actually angelic in the pale purple dress that trailed down to her calves. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening, even though he had been standing around for quite a while now, rings heavy in his pocket, as he talked with her brother and his wife (people he had met only once before, and now were part of the small group there for the most important day of his life) and they went over how the whole event would play out.  

Part of him wished he had been able to track down Klaus, or maybe extended a temporary olive branch to Vanya, or maybe even Luther, just to have someone there. But Y/N was there. And that was really all that mattered, the two of them. And Patch was as much a friend to him as to her, so it was something. A shabby-looking dark haired man walked past his peripheral vision and he turned his head quickly, hoping beyond reason. Unfortunately, it wasn’t his wayward brother and he sighed. 

Eudora and Y/N finally climbed up the steps, and Diego forgot all about his nerves and concerns when the woman of his dreams smiled at him, slipping her hands in his as they faced each other.

“Hi,” he murmured. 

“Hi yourself,” she countered. “Ready?”

“Never readier.”

Daniel cleared his throat and began to speak.

~

“Thank you for being here this morning, as Diego and Y/N enter into this union, a commitment of everlasting love, respect, and partnership. They join together now not as halves of a whole, incomplete without the other, but as equals, each complete and choosing the other as a compliment to themselves. They have seen each other for what they are, and what they are not, and actively decide to accept and cherish in all that entails,” your brother started. 

You shot him a glare, cutting him off before he could launch into a lecture. 

“Knowing my little sister, and the impromptu nature of today, I am prepared with something of a traditional reading, or we can forgo in favor of the more essential elements of the ceremony?”

You and Diego looked at each other. He shrugged. You rolled your eyes. “Skip the reading.”

Daniel moved on, turning to Patch and Amelia and asking, “Do you, as witnesses to this day, support, encourage, and affirm this union?”

They both looked over at the two of you, nearly lost in your own world and smiled. In near unison, they agreed. Several more formalities passed in something of a blur.

“Do you have rings?” Daniel asked, quirking an eyebrow in an expression nearly identical to the one Diego was familiar with from you.

“I do,” he said, fumbling in the pocket of his jacket, thrown over the rail behind him to pull out the small blue box. “I just hope I picked good ones.” 

You gasped as he opened up the box, showing you the rings he had picked out that morning. Your hands shook as you took it, looking closer at the detailing. 

“Oh Diego,” you sighed, smiling waterily at him. “They’re perfect.”

Daniel whistled lowly, losing his official mask in favor of being just your brother for a moment. “Damn. If I didn’t know better I’d think these were custom-made.”

Diego shrugged, blushing uncomfortably under the dual praise. “Nope, just got lucky.”

“Well, maybe that’s a good sign then, for the marriage,” Amelia chimed in, beaming at the pair of you. “Which we still need to finish…?”

“Right,” Daniel said. “Where were we? Vows!”

“I, Diego Hargreeves, take you to be my spouse. I promise that from this day forward I will regard you as my equal, my partner, and my closest friend. I will love and cherish you above all others. Our decisions will be together, in consideration of your needs and wishes as well as my own. For better or worse, sickness or health, no matter what we are going through, I will be there at your side, with love and support. Until the end of the world. I love you, so much.” He smiled, flashing you a wink before slipping your ring onto your finger.

You laughed, winking right back before reciting the same promises in turn and slipping the other ring onto his hand, keeping your fingers locked together after.

Daniel discretely swiped a tear from his eye. 

“With these rings and vows exchanged, a promise made before witnesses and a symbol of that bond between you, it is my greatest pleasure, by the power vested in me by the state, to pronounce you as married, joined in spirit and in law.”

Diego grinned, sweeping you into a kiss, holding you tight against him, until three voices around you cleared their throats.

“Breakfast?” Patch asked. “On me, as a gift to the newlyweds?”

~

An hour later, you sat beside each other (everyone else having left to go about their day), people passing by blithely unaware that for the two of you life had just changed, both staring down at your interlocked hands and the bands on your fingers. 

“Did we actually just…?” he asked breathlessly.

You laughed. “You were there Diego. You said the words, same as I did.” 

You hesitated, fearful still that he hadn’t intended it to be real, that it had been a joke or a fantasy you had taken too far.

“It’s not too late to undo it, though,” you explained hurriedly. “I mean it’s a weekend so Daniel won’t file the certificate with the city until at least Monday, so we can ask him to just rip it up and forget it ever happened. Or if he does file it early somehow, annulling this kind of thing is pretty easy since we haven’t mingled assets or anything. I just thought...well I don’t actually know what I thought.” Tears started to well up as you stumbled over yourself in your rush. 

He tilted your chin up with his free hand, kissing you tenderly, as if he could pour every feeling and thought in his heart into the one action. 

“I don’t want to undo it,” he murmured, eyes crinkling with mirth. “I just can’t believe we actually got married in the first place.”

“Well believe it. You’re stuck with me now.” You laughed, kissing the end of his nose. 

“There’s no one else I’d rather.”

Your heart swelled at the confession as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“Well, husband, what do you say we go home, spend the rest of the day as newlyweds should?”

He smiled, groaning as he stood and his battered body protested the idea of moving. As you let him tug you to your feet, you felt probably almost as bad as he did, aching from head to toe, the events of the night catching up to you.

“Or maybe we spend it sleeping…” you mumbled.

[wanderchyld]

Final PBIO/IOTNBO analysis and theory

This post is my final analysis and includes some questions I have as we go into the final weekend of one of the best dramas in history. It is VERY long as I consolidate and expand on my previous analysis and theories.

I also lost a big chunk of this post while I was working on the draft just a few hours before posting, resulting to this post as a little inconsistent. Excuse me if my points are messy and some points missing with some issues untouched (because I forgot 😭). I think most points can be linked back to my past theories so you can read up on them if you haven’t.

List of my theories before ep 14:

Do Heejae and the other woman

Moonyoung’s background and Go Daehwan

Head Nurse is NOT Do Heejae, she’s the previous housekeeper

Maybe Head Nurse really is Do Heejae

As usual, please note that anything I quote may be a mix of Netflix’s subs and my translation because I know Korean and Netflix tends to miss nuances sometimes.

Firstly, Park Ok Ran’s dead.

Let’s get this out of the way first. (You can read my first theory on her role in this whole saga.)

“She can’t come anymore.”

Can’t have her exposing Park Haengja. Or plot twist: she is alive and returns to save the trio from the villain 😆

No one’s memory is reliable

Not Kangtae’s as established in ep 6 that he didn’t remember his mother brought them to eat jjamppong because he’s the one who liked it, not Sangtae.

Not Sangtae’s. In spite of his good memory, it was established in ep 10 that he didn’t remember Kangtae saving him, so his memories can be flawed as well.

Therefore, not Moonyoung’s, and definitely not Go Daehwan’s.

There are few things that we can be sure because they are concurrent:

There was a female body in the basement that was disposed or disappeared.

The murderer of Taetae Bros’ mother wore Moonyoung’s mother’s a one-of-a-kind brooch.

There was a body in the reservoir.

Taetae Bros’ mother was the new housekeeper (I saw that some people disagree but here are the supporting screenshots).

There were definitely two women

My theory that there were 2 women in Moonyoung’s family still stands and I’m expanding on it.

Let’s look at the family photos first. There are multiple versions of the family photo, and I suspect they were taken at different times. Here they are in what I think is the chronological order.

1) Photo in the basement: Go Daehwan had full-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung wore a scarf and stood closer to him with his hand on her shoulder, and the lady wore a fully black high neck top with the brooch on the right.

Before the family moved in, on the day Go Daehwan showed the lady around the house, he was wearing the full-rimmed glasses, and the house looked lived in (fully furnished, fully decorated, shelves full). 

2) Go Daehwan’s photo: Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung stood right in the middle and without the scarf, and the lady wore a blazer over a straight neckline blouse with the brooch on the right.

3) Park Haengja’s photo seems to be the same as Moonyoung’s: Go Daehwan with half-rimmed glasses, can’t tell whether Moonyoung was wearing a scarf or not but she sat nearer to the lady who wore the same blazer over a straight neckline blouse without the brooch.

Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses when he realised his wife killed Taetae Bros’ mother.

Photos are evidences of relationships. In a group photo, the people who are closer would pose closer to each other. These family photos tell us that Go Daehwan and Moonyoung were actually close, and showed us the progression of Moonyoung’s relationship with the woman.

But why were multiple photos taken? If they were the same woman, why are they still hiding the woman’s face in the photos?

When Go Daehwan killed his wife, he said, “If I die, my daughter will become a monster like you.”

Why was it “my daughter” and not “our daughter?” It’s even odder for Koreans because being a very collectivist society, they don’t claim people or objects as mine. They say “our country,” “our father,” “our daughter” to show unity even when they actually mean “my country,” “my father,” “my daughter.”

Moonyoung insisted she’s an orphan. Technically, when one biological parent dies, the child is an orphan (single orphan). So perhaps Moonyoung’s not wrong. And as explored in my second theory post, she might have been referring to her biological mother. The abusive woman was probably her stepmother.

Go Daehwan told Director Oh that his wife loved Moonyoung “terribly. Very terribly,” and we have Moonyoung who doesn’t want a child to not get jealous over Kangtae’s affection. Judging by the family photos (Moonyoung posing closer to the woman each time), perhaps the stepmother was jealous of the father-daughter relationship and became obsessed with Moonyoung.

Would a child be afraid of their parent because they didn’t want to be hated? I was just afraid my mother would scold me (which was a lot). Right, we can argue that her mother was abusive, but this is something to think about.

Park Haengja: stepmother and crazy aunt

Bluebeard the French folklore, which ep 6 was based on, is about a man who married several times as he killed his disobedient wives. According to Wikipedia, his final wife had invited her sister and others over for a party before she snuck away to explore the forbidden room. Bluebeard found out and was about to kill her on the spot when her sister and brothers arrived to kill Bluebeard.

It was also in ep 6 when Taetae Bros moved in that they specifically had a shot of the dolls in Moonyoung’s old room (the brothers’ new room). I mentioned this previously: one male doll as Go Daehwan, two female dolls in similar dresses as Moonyoung’s mother and stepmother, and one small female doll.

You can see the two dolls behind little Moonyoung in her memory of her father reading her a book.

The dolls are a representation of the Go family in the house because in ep 7, only the small female doll (Moonyoung) was left, and I think there are 2 more new figurines as Taetae Bros on that cabinet but I can’t be bothered to search for a clearer shot 😁

When Go Daehwan strangled little Moonyoung, afraid she would become like her mother, they featured one of the dolls in the shot.

The point of mentioning the dolls is: Moonyoung’s mother wore a similar dress as the dolls in most of the flashbacks.

Ep 13 was based on the Korean folklore The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon and its popular movie adaptation The Tale of Two Sisters (2003). IOTNBO has more links to this story than “the bystander is worse than the abuser.”

In the movie, Moon Geunyoung’s character frequently dressed in floral patterns (like the dolls’ and Moonyoung’s mother’s dresses).

In both the folklore and the movie, the sisters were named after rose and lotus flowers. In the folklore, it’s the sister that died who was named after the rose flower. In the movie, it’s the surviving sister that was named after the rose flower. The rose is also a motif of Moonyoung’s mother.

The flower language of rose is love and passion. Personally, considering how Moonyoung always thought of her mother when she brushed her hair, and her love for a head pat, I think the rose also symbolises her mother’s "affection."

The movie is a story of two sisters who were abused by their stepmother so badly that one of them died. As it turns out, the remaining sister developed dissociative identity disorder (DID; the same disorder as the patient Yoo Sunhae) with two other personalities: her dead sister (Moon Geunyoung’s character) and her stepmother.

I take this as a lead that Moonyoung has a stepmother, who also happens to be her aunt obsessed with her sister. Wicked Witch of the West (WWOTW) coveted Wicked Witch of the East’s (WWOTE) ruby shoes; perhaps the aunt wanted to be in her sister���s shoes, figuratively AND literally.

Now here’s another “coincidence” from the same:

Left: Moon Geunyoung. Right: Im Soojung (sister with DID).

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he went to the castle.

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he/she went to the castle to cause trouble. 

Glinda the Good Witch of the North described WWOTW as worse than WWOTE.

Go Daehwan, who had recognition and memory impairment, said his wife has an angelic face but a devil lives within. Perhaps he remembers two persons as one.

We learnt from Sangin that 1) Do Heejae came from a prestigious family of medical professionals, 2) she dropped out of 3rd year of med school, and 3) she cut ties with everyone in her family. Could she have a sister in nursing? Could she have cut ties with her family because they cray cray (or the good old "you’ll starve with a creative career")?

Park Haengja has not claimed herself as Do Heejae, and the woman in the family photos are still covered.

Following these, we can assume that Park Haengja’s the bad witch who is neither Do Heejae nor Moonyoung’s birth mother. She’s the stepmother and crazy aunt (I cover more about the sisters in the next section).

There’s always a crazy aunt or uncle.

It’s just too easy if Park Haengja really is Do Heejae. I’d also be disappointed in the writer if she takes this route because it’s cliché villain and this is not a makjang drama with illogical plot twists. It would also be a step back from all the efforts this show has been making to dispel stigma against mental illness.

So they were sisters and...

...one of them died. In water. 

As per my first theory, the WWOTW and WWOTE are sisters in some adaptations of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. WWOTE died under a house then disappeared into thin air, and WWOTW pretended to die in contact of water but she returned disguised as a good person. Sound familiar?

The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon is a Korean folklore of a stepmother who abused two sisters to their death. She had her biological son push Janghwa the older sister into a pond and she drowned. The remaining sister couldn’t take the abuse any longer and drowned herself in the same pond.

The song “Oh My Darling Clementine” has a few variations but here’s the traditional lyrics (I removed repeated stanzas):

Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine In a cavern, in a canyon Excavating for a mine Dwelt a miner, forty-niner And his daughter, Clementine Light she was and like a fairy And her shoes were number nine Herring boxes, without topses Sandals were for Clementine Drove she ducklings to the water Ev'ry morning just at nine Hit her foot against a splinter Fell into the foaming brine Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine Ruby lips above the water Blowing bubbles, soft and fine But, alas, I was no swimmer So I lost my Clementine How I missed her! How I missed her How I missed my Clementine But I kissed her little sister I forgot my Clementine

These stories are all about 2 sisters and dying in water. Whether they’re sisters or not, a woman died and she’s related to Go Daehwan somehow.

The Murder of the Witch of the West

Do Heejae’s novel hold huge clues. Here’s my translation of an excerpt from volume 9 shown in ep 10.

… __’s scalp skinned with a hunting knife without hesitation. The corpse’s lips sewed in a fence stitch. The body dismembered with a hand axe and thrown into the trunk. Yooyoung persistently as she watched the back of the West Witch leave unhurriedly after finishing the killing and leaving notes.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Why do you choose to kill happy people only?"

But as usual, there was no answer. Was it because of Yooyoung’s tenacity to catch the West Witch? Yooyoung always sees the West Witch at the crime scenes. A faceless woman who always observed Yooyoung work hard on finding the criminal before leaving abruptly. Yooyoung began to look at the crime scene from the criminal's perspective. Why here? Why kill by stabbing this way? As she simulates the crime, Yooyoung finds herself assimilating with the criminal. She felt a thrill from imagining that she stabbed and cut the victim. She’s getting confused. Is she a detective or a murderer?

Around the same time, a murder occurred. The West Witch mimicked a passage from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, everything was in line with the Wicked Witch of the West, right down to the signature butterfly design. However, Yooyoung somehow felt guilty.

...

The suspect was a middle-aged woman in her 40s.

Yeah.

The misunderstanding

Othello killed his wife because he mistook his wife for committing adultery.

Romeo and Juliet mistook each other’s plan. Romeo died from drinking real poison, and Juliet faked her death before realising the mistake and killed herself with Romeo’s dagger.

Janghwa was framed and wrongfully accused by her stepmother for being unchaste. Her father believed it. When Janghwa ran away, her stepmother and stepbrother chased after her, and her stepbrother (under her stepmother’s instruction) pushed her into a pond to drown to her death.

What did Go Daehwan misunderstand? What misunderstanding did his recognition and memory impairment cause? Why was his wife being crazy but looked so shocked when he turned her around?

I do not believe that his memory of killing his wife is a complete memory because it has been mentioned multiple times that his memories are corrupted. I think it’s fragments of different memories pieced together.

What’s going on with Park Haengja?

There are a few possibilities.

Park Haengja is Do Heejae’s sister who coveted her sister’s position and grew obsessed with her sister’s novel.

Do Heejae’s Moonyoung’s biological mother and Park Haengja’s her stepmother.

OR Moonyoung’s biological mother died when she was born, Do Heejae’s the stepmother (abusive but still her mother because she raised Moonyoung), and Park Haengja’s the obsessive aunt.

She got so obsessed she came to believe she’s Do Heejae.

So obsessed she was always keeping an eye on Moonyoung to fulfil the prophecy that is the novel. ("You’re my greatest creation," and volume 3, shown in episode 10 with Park Ok Ran’s copy, has passages that describes episode 3.)

Park Haengja’s the one who killed Taetae Bros’ mother (screenshots of Do Heejae vs murderer below).

She took advantage of Go Daehwan’s cognitive impairment and instigated him to kill the real Do Heejae. She’s the one who saw Go Daehwan kill the woman and hide her in the basement.

Do Heejae wore her butterfly brooch on right, the murderer wore it on the left. Do Heejae always wore red nail polish and a gold rose ring, the murderer did not (although she could have had them removed if it’s premeditated).

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Clearly Do Heejae didn’t wear her brooch all the time, so it would have been easy to steal the brooch. However, Do Heejae wore her ring all the time, so Park Haengja can only get the ring after she dies and "truly” become Do Heejae.

End.

I think I recovered most of my points but they’re still feel incomplete 😭

Let me know your thoughts 😊

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 08

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: none

A/N: i’ve been so happy to receive your feedback, it just always makes my day. thank you so much everyone xx

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Sebastian and Y/N had left the cafe a few hours later to go pack for the hotel them and the rest of the band were staying at during the Las Vegas tour, once they finally arrived at WestGate where they were staying. Y/N couldn’t help but gasp at the mere idea of staying in a luxury hotel, much less the famously known WestGate. Sebastian has to be the one to pull her inside the reception as she had started to take various pictures of every single thing she saw, like a middle class tourist. 

Sebastian reached the reception, holding her by her wrist so she wouldn’t run off and take more pictures of stupid useless stuff. He removed the sunglasses, placing them on top of his cap and gave the receptionist one of those charming smiles, that even Y/N had to admit could get someone to do whatever they wanted. 

Y/N was far too busy taking pictures with one of her disposable cameras to even listen to what he was talking about with the receptionist. Every single thing in this luxury hotel seemed to take her breathe away and for the first time in forever she understood the appeal of the lifestyle Sebastian had and why most girls slept with him. Sleeping with him would mean getting at least a mere second of the gold and riches of this lifestyle.

   - Y/N, c’mon. You can take plenty of pictures after check-in. - he grabbed her wrist again, walking over to the lift where a very nice dressed man was standing. He pressed the button and gestured for them to enter only to follow right after. 

  - Where to sir? - he asked, further fascinating Y/N. Someone asking her where to go in the lift? People barely even looked at her whenever she got into a lift back home. 

  - The Tuscany Sky Villa, please. Thank you. - Sebastian gave the man a kind smile, unknowingly still holding onto her wrist. She was too excited about how fancy the lift itself was, with a velvet red coach standing behind her. She even felt guilty holding her old suitcase and using her very cheap on sale summer dress. The ding itself made her more excited as it showed them what looked like a very expensive painting on a very large hallway. Sebastian stood behind to pay the lift chauffeur as she rushed into the room coming face to face with a very large table. Rich people sure knew how to live the high life. 

  - Is this all ours? - she turned to face Sebastian who had placed his suitcase by the door and was taking his jacket off. 

  - It’s a 6 bedroom villa, so it’s just me, you, the boys and maybe one or two of their wives. I never really know which one of them comes in. - he looked around, trying to look for anything different in the villa but as always, it was the same thing. Y/N on the other hand was having her brain exploded every time she looked at the villa that seemed to have been carved out of pure gold, which he couldn’t help by smile at. - Talking about the boys, they should be arriving in no time so if you wanna go ...

 - Is that a pool? - she rushed over to the window, her eyes coming in contact with a private pool, her own private pool. - God, now I understand why you wanna leave the band. Imagine having this all to yourself. 

 - Would be a little bit empty, don’t you think doll? - he sat on one of the chairs, looking at his phone to check if any of the boys had said anything else but all they had said was to meet at the hotel villa. 

 - Doll? That’s new. - she kept looking around, discovering even more greatness where she thought couldn’t get any greater. - Can you show me to the bathroom? I could really do with a nice bubble bath. 

 - Sure. - he got up and gestured for her to follow her, leading to what she, once again, thought was the biggest bathroom she had ever seen with the biggest bath tube she had ever seen. The tiles were marbled with a big angel marbled picture above the bath tube followed by a chandelier in the middle of the bathroom. - There’s some bath robes in the drawers by the sink. After that just pick a room, let me know if you need anything.

 - Alright, thank you. - Y/N rushed over to the bath tube, turning on the tap on the hot water setting. There was nothing she loved more than a nice bubble bath, nothing was more soothing than that.

Meanwhile, Sebastian went back to the entry room and after a few minutes of looking at his phone, the boys and Fred’s wife Mary, came into the room holding milkshakes. Mary was definitely Sebastian’s favourite, she was the one who’d leave him be and not question him a lot. People like that were always his favourites. 

 - Hey man, we’re about to go the club in a bit. Wanna come? - Anthony asked, taking a sip of his favourite milkshake. 

 - No, I think I’m gonna stay in. - Sebastian wasn’t in the mood for club, he didn’t really understood why, he just didn’t feel like leaving and go outside and be photographed. 

 - Where’s Y/N, we gotta ask her. - Fred pointed out. 

 - She’s taking a bath right now. I’ll go scream it at her. - Sebastian got up and rushed over to the bathroom before one of them tried and convince him to go out, which in all honesty was something that was quite easy to do. He knocked on the door of the bathroom rather loudly making sure she heard it. - Hey Y/N, can I come in?

 - Sure. - he heard her from the inside and opened the door, expecting her to be in her bathrobe already. Instead what he saw was Y/N submerged in bubbles except from her shoulders up. Now, Sebastian had seen his fair share of naked women, more than fifteen that excluding the naked models for their album covers, however, for whatever reason in the world, the view of her naked shoulders made him blush. - Did you just come in to watch me bath or do you want anything?

 - Yeah ... yeah, the guys, they’re going to the club and they wanna know if you want to join them. - he leaned against the door looking at his shoes. 

 - No, I think I wanna stay in. I’ve spent all my free evenings working and I think I wanna binge some shows today. - she replied and he didn’t took a second before closing the door and walking to the entry room, trying to forget what he had just seen. The boys had taken to sit down on the chairs, waiting for Y/N’s answer but what they got was a very flustered Sebastian, a sight they never see. 

 - You alright? - Mary questioned, a tricky smile on her face. - You look very ... flustered. 

 - Suck it, Mary. - he blurted out to her before turning to his bandmates who looked equally interested on what had made him so flustered. - Y/N wants to stay in. 

 - Okay. When we get back ... - Anthony went to pick his coat. - Maybe you’ll want to tell us why you look like a tomato. 

Y/N meanwhile took no offence to her bath being interrupted and just kept soaking herself in the rose scented water until the water became too cold for her to handle. She got off the tub, pulling the plug so the water could go down, got dressed into one of the softest bathrobes she had ever tried, and started to lather herself with some lotion. After she was done, she opened the door of the bathroom and looked around, her suitcase still in hand, looking for the first room she saw. She saw one closer to the bathroom and decided this was now her room. 

The room had double doors that opened to her dream room. The same flower motif and panels were scattered around the room, and right in the centre against the wall was a king sized bed almost covered in pillows. At the bottom of the bed was a nice TV, and on top of the bed was a fruit basket. She rushed over to the bed, opening her suitcase and pulling her PJ. Afterwards, she started to go through the basket which was filled with lovely fruit, chocolates and ... a bottle of vodka. She certainly did not want that bottle of vodka all for herself, however she knew someone who’d enjoy it.

Her plan went downstream after she realised she had no idea if Sebastian was in and if he was, she had no idea where he could be. Luckily, the bright light from one of the rooms just near her made her believe that someone was at least in. She lightly knocked on the door, opening it to find Sebastian laying in bed watching TV. His eyes raised from the TV to hers and she raised the bottle of vodka in her hand. 

 - I got this in my bedroom, but I think you’d like it more. - she shook the bottle, walking into his bedroom and handing it to him. - Why didn’t you go out with the boys? I thought clubbing was your thing. 

 - Tired. - he took the cap of the bottle of vodka, downing a bit of bit followed by his grunting of how bitter it was. - Do you want some?

 - No, that one is all yours. - she smiled and turned her back of him, ready to go back to her room and have a very nice Netflix binging session followed by some free room service. 

 - She cheated on me. - he blurted out, making her stop in her tracks and turn to face him. - The reason why me and Melody broke up, she cheated on me. I came back from one of the shows one day, open the door to my bedroom and there she was riding one of the roadies like a cowgirl. 

 - Oh ... - that was way too much information, however, she did not know why he had decided to tell her. Had the alcohol hit his brain that fast? - Why did you decide to tell me that?

 - I figured you’d want something to put on your article. I’d rather you heard it from me than from someone else. Besides, you did tell me how your last relationship ended so I owed you that. 

 - I think you got me wrong. - she crossed her arms at him. - I’m not that type of writer. I am not gonna climb up to the top by dishing gossip on my articles, that’s not what I’m here for. 

 - Gossiping is what people want to read. - he placed the bottle on the nightstand and got up standing in front of her. - How are you gonna become a famous writer if you don’t gossip?

 - I don’t want to be a famous writer, I wanna be a good writer. - she looked at him, holding eye contact with him but her legs seem to want to fail her. - I certainly don’t wanna destroy you in the process of becoming a writer. Deal or no deal. 

 - So you’d rather tell you readers I’m a good person when I’m not?

 - You’re a good person, I know that you give your cut out to the charity, Anthony told me. If you weren’t a good person and were the sex crazed guy you portray yourself as you wouldn’t care that your ex-fianceé cheated on you but you care. You care about it and that’s why you’re constantly screwing around because you’d rather have the false fantasy of pleasure than actually meet someone who might cheat on you again. 

   - You got me all figured out, don’t you? - his hand brushed her hair back while his other hand went to rest against the other side of her head. His eyes were locked with hers, small breathes coming from her slightly parted lips. He grew closer quite fast, his lips colliding with hers and she swore she’d never felt something as electrifying as this. Her first kiss had nothing on this. 

They slowly pushed from each other, his hands leaving the side of her head and coming up to profusely apologise before she herself grew closer to him. Yet before their lips could touch again, the door burst open. 

  - I’m sorry Mr. Stan, I didn’t know you had company. - the employee said, holding a tray full of delicious food. Y/N got back into her senses, what was she doing. This was not what good writers did, this was a mistake. She moved away from Sebastian and started to rush into her room. 

  - Wait Y/N, wait. - Sebastian rushed after her but got stopped as the door slammed in his face. 

  - Mr. Stan, should I leave the tray on the bed?

  - Yeah, that would be alright. Thank You. - he walked back to his room, defeated.    

[theoutcastrogue]

“The Feud” (1926), by Federico García Lorca

Fight with Cudgels (c. 1820–1823), one of Francisco Goya’s Black Paintings.

Halfway down the gorge knives of Albacete, beautiful with enemy blood, shine like fish. In the sour green a hard light of a card cuts out enraged horses and profiles of riders. Two old women cry in an olive tree. The bull of the feud climbs right up the walls. Black angels were bringing handkerchiefs and snow water; angels with big wings of Albacete knives. Juan Antonio de Montilla rolls dead down the slope, his body full of irises, a pomegranate in his temples. Now he rides a cross of fire down the road of death.

               *

Through the olive groves come judge and Civil Guard. The sliding blood is moaning the mute song of a snake. Civil Guardsmen, Sirs, it’s the same as always: four Romans are dead and five Carthaginians.

               *

The afternoon, grown wild with figs and hot murmurs swoons and falls into the rider’s wounded thighs. And black angels were soaring through the western sky. Angels with long tresses and hearts of olive oil.

Atropos, or The Fates (c. 1820–1823), one of Francisco Goya’s Black Paintings.

Notes

Reyerta / The Feud. Ms. dated August 6, 1926. Sent to Guillén the following month (EC 573–74) with the title “Reyerta de mozos” (Brawl [Feud, Dispute] between Young Men). Published in La Verdad (Murcia) on October 10, 1926; and, with the title “Reyerta gitana” (Gypsy Brawl), in the Catalan literary magazine L’Amic de les Arts, June 1927. [N.B. In 1928 the poem was included in Lorca’s seminal collection Romancero gitano.]

According to Lorca, this poem is an image of random violence, expressing “a silent, latent struggle all over Andalusia and Spain among groups that attack each other without knowing why, for mysterious reasons: because of a look, a rose, a love affair two centuries old, or because a man suddenly feels a bug on his cheek”. Richard Ford in A Handbook for Travelers in Spain (1855) marvels that “where an unarmed Englishman closes his fist, a Spaniard opens his knife. Man, again, in this hot climate, is very inflammable and combustible; a small spark explodes the dry powder, which ignites less readily in damp England.” Derek Harris believes that the reference to playing cards in line 6 “indicates a reason for the fight while the verb recortar [cut out] indicates that the horses and the horsemen of lines 7–8 are in silhouette.” Robert G. Harvard points out that “cards depict motifs in profile, and the equivalent of a jack in Spanish cards is a horse and rider.” Lines 29–30 bring out the enduring nature of the violence, referring not only to the Punic Wars for the possession of Spain but also, ironically, to classroom competition among Spanish children. In some schools, particularly Jesuit ones, the class was divided into competing teams, the “Romans” and the “Carthaginians”. 2: Albacete: town between Madrid and Valencia famed for its navajas, with long blades that fold back into a handle.

Navaja, Spain, probably Albacete, 19th century [x]

[Translation by Will Kirkland and Christopher Maurer, notes by Christopher Maurer. From Federico García Lorca: Selected Verse (Revised Bilingual Edition, Macmillan, 2003). You can read the poem in the original Spanish below the cut.]

Reyerta

En la mitad del barranco las navajas de Albacete, bellas de sangre contraria, relucen como los peces. Una dura luz de naipe recorta en el agrio verde, caballos enfurecidos y perfiles de jinetes. En la copa de un olivo lloran dos viejas mujeres. El toro de la reyerta se sube por las paredes. Ángeles negros traían pañuelos y agua de nieve. Ángeles con grandes alas de navajas de Albacete. Juan Antonio el de Montilla rueda muerto la pendiente, su cuerpo lleno de lirios y una granada en las sienes. Ahora monta cruz de fuego, carretera de la muerte.

               *

El juez, con guardia civil, por los olivares viene. Sangre resbalada gime muda canción de serpiente. Señores guardias civiles: aquí pasó lo de siempre. Han muerto cuatro romanos y cinco cartagineses.

               *

La tarde loca de higueras y de rumores calientes cae desmayada en los muslos heridos de los jinetes. Y ángeles negros volaban por el aire del poniente. Ángeles de largas trenzas y corazones de aceite.

[if-you-built-yourself-a-myth]

Heaven’s High - Chapter One

idea courtesy of @beaniebabyrobbe

A crazy night out with friends and a harmless little prank on a doctor come together to match soulmates.

Sander didn’t mean to get so wasted after work. He never did, really. He was more the kind of guy to go home and draw pictures of the view from his window, maybe watch some TV or something, and maybe prepare a late-night snack. There was a television program on Discovery channel, Naked and Afraid, that came on almost every night. The concept of survival in remote locations fascinated Sander. He liked to enjoy an episode or two most nights before going to bed around one.

Contradictory to his bad-boy exterior, Sander disliked parties. He wouldn’t have been in the bar at all had it not been for his friends (and coworkers, but that part wasn’t as much of a factor). Théo and Céleste both had to deal with nasty clients in the tattoo parlor that day, and had enlisted Cas as their designated driver so they could get fucked up. Cas said fuck that and called Sander. Sander, technically speaking, was not allowed to drink, so he should have been the perfect match for the needs of the group. How he ended up knocking back another shot of vodka while Théo chanted in the background, he’d never know.

He did know, however, that it felt fucking awesome. So awesome, in fact, that Théo texted Sander’s roommates, Skyler and Michaël, to join in on the fun. Céleste ordered them all another round, and another thing became clear: there was no way he’d be able to drive Théo’s beat-up station wagon back to the apartment complex where they lived. No way in hell. Too bad.

“If we’re going to have to walk home,” Cas slurred, waving around half a gin and tonic, “I’m going to fucking kill you. Do you understand that, Driesen?”

In one sense, yes, Sander understood. In another sense, he found himself obsessed with the way condensation beaded on the outside of the glass in tiny droplets. He picked one at random and rooted for it to win as it trickled downward. Shit. Lost twice.

“Do you hear me?”

Yes, in one sense, Sander heard.

“These are new shoes. Can’t be… walkin’ and shit.”

Wasn’t that the purpose of owning shoes, though? Like, they were invented so that people could walk and shit on top of nasty stuff that would hurt their feet without them. Sander didn’t think he would wear shoes at all if they weren’t necessary.

“We’re gonna walk,” he assured Cas. They both finished their drinks.

Sander gazed across the bar. Though his vision was shaky and unstable, he could tell Michaël was sitting near the door. Things weren’t the same between them anymore, a reality he knew he would have to face at some point… but not today. Michaël spotted him staring and nodded; clearly, he wasn’t as drunk as Sander. Sander liked being drunk. It made him into more of himself than he got to be when his medication was stable. It allowed him to think about things that he actively pushed away when he was sober. Like Michaël. 

Vodka recreated a picture of them underneath the strobing lights.

For every ten disjointed, garbled thoughts, he thought one thing coherently. The first coherent thought was: did I like him when I kissed him, or are all of my feelings fake? Without alcohol, the question would have killed him. With, he hardly noticed the sting.

Skyler gathered the group together with a wave of their hand. “I know another club. It’s getting boring here.”

Sander disagreed. The bar walls were full of paintings, photographs, and postcards, and the windowsills boasted a large array of antique beer bottles. There was plenty to stare at. He was coming up on the introspective stage of drinking where one calls their ex to ask what went wrong, and he didn’t want to waste it by walking to a club. The others overruled him.  

“Hell yes!” Céleste yelled. “Train or bus?”

“Better not be a fucking dive bar,” said Théo.

What was wrong with dive bars? Besides the smell, and occasionally the food poisoning, Sander thought they were pretty great. He met his ex-girlfriend at a dive bar.

Michaël threw an arm over Cas’s shoulders. “So long as there’s dancing, I’m in.”

“New shoes!” Cas said, for no reason at all.

They scrambled out the front door. Sander concentrated everything into not tripping over his own feet as the world pitched and spun around him. The trees planted on the sidewalk swirled in technicolor circles. The stars streaked across the sky and mixed into the streetlights like running watercolor paints. It would make a really good photo.

He was unsure of the exact volume he’d consumed in the bar—the best estimate was a lot—and now it fought in his stomach to come back up. Skyler remedied this problem with a tiny flask they passed to the others. Sander managed to hold himself upright for a whole five blocks.

“So we’re headed to…?” prompted Céleste.

Skyler dismissed her with a wave of their hand. “It’s not much farther. All you drunks should be fine.”

“Debatable.” Cas looked at Sander.

Sander could feel the group’s eyes redirecting to him. At least that meant one of his senses was still intact. They all knew that he wasn’t allowed to be drinking, even though they were the ones passing him shots and flasks, and perhaps they felt guilty about it for a second. He didn’t so much care.

“I’m good,” he thought he said. He would later find that what came out of his mouth was closer to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 overture than an actual sentence.

The last thing Sander remembered from their night out was Skyler beside him, hand on his shoulder, asking, “Doesn’t lithium make you get drunk really, really quickly?” to which Sander replied, “Yes, it does.” After that, his memory faded into pretty much nothing. That was his favorite part.

*

He was in a curtained-off room, surrounded by Cas, Céleste, Théo, Michaël, and Skyler. His body felt like someone had filled it with cement, specifically his head. Prolonged ringing overtook his right ear before dissolving into a thrum in the back of his consciousness. He blinked a couple times. The sound dampened and disappeared.

Théo stood the closest to his bed. There was blood on his hands and in his dark, curly hair, worked into the spirals like hair gel. It would be stiff to the touch. Cas, Céleste, and Michaël engaged in a game of Uno on the floor, not that Sander could see the cards. When Théo saw Sander’s eyes were open, he laughed and clapped a hand on his bed railing… when did Sander get into a bed? Why did it have rails?

“Good morning, sleeping prince! I thought they were gonna have me for manslaughter.” It wasn’t a funny thing to say, but he appeared to think it hilarious. Still drunk, most likely. “No need to worry, we did your paperwork.” Everyone else snickered.

Footsteps sounded from close by. Cas whispered, “Oh fuck, you’re just in time, here he comes…”

A man entered through the curtains (considering the context, a doctor). To Sander, it hit like a slap in the face. He had never seen anyone so striking or memorable. This scene was what he pictured before he drew portraits of people he didn’t know and the feeling he felt when he painted places he’d never seen. The emotion hit him too fast to be real, he thought. He was around sixty percent sure that Théo was covered in blood because Théo had committed his murder and the man before his eyes was God Himself. That, or whatever the fuck he drank at the bar before had given him some serious rose-colored glasses. There was no way this man could be a real person.

He wasn’t ready to see something like that so soon after waking.

“I’m sorry,” said the doctor, immediately pulling a one-eighty to leave Sander’s curtained section. “Wrong room.”

Théo snickered. “Who are you looking for?”

“I’m not allowed to give names.”

“Could it be…” Théo dragged the reveal out like a drumroll. “…Sander Driesen?”

The doctor halted five steps away and turned back. His looks mesmerized Sander. He had short brown hair, messy in a sort of endearing way, concealed almost completely by a bandana covered in teddy bears holding lollipops. He wore pink scrubs patterned with the dogs from the hit children’s show Paw Patrol. Sander had spent enough time channel-surfing to know the dominant motif was Skye, the cockapoo. The earlier thought needed amending: he was ninety percent sure he was hallucinating.

“Is this…?” The doctor walked back through the curtain. He crossed to the bed and looked down at Sander’s bleeding forehead and the fresh-blossoming bruise. “Are you Sander Driesen?”

Sander, ever the romantic, could think of only one response. “You’re gorgeous.”

The doctor blushed slightly, but he didn’t let it stop him from launching into his speech. “Hello, Mr. Driesen. I’m Dr. Robbe Ijzermans. I am the pediatrician on call tonight, here to see if your brain is doing okay.” He said it all slowly, which was alright for Sander, who didn’t understand a word of it anyway. “Although, judging by this little stunt, I have determined you might not have one. You don’t look like a six-year-old.”

Skyler burst out laughing. They stopped when Céleste shot them a pointed look.

“I suppose you didn’t do the paperwork.”

Skyler stifled their giggles again.

“So,” Robbe continued, “Can you tell me where you are?”

Sander’s mind was a blank slate. All he could process was the fact that Robbe was now coming closer to him with a penlight ready to shine into his eyes. The doctor had brown eyes. There were freckles, faint as hell but definitely there, clustered close to the bridge of his nose. Sander’s vision blurred, cut in and out. He wondered how he could even hold a picture of Robbe’s face in his mind. And a burger would taste really good right now.

“Big white room,” said Sander.

“Where is this room located?”

Sander scanned the room, the bright lights overhead, and the cute guy in pink scrubs standing in front of him. “Heaven?” He made eye contact with Robbe. “Are you an angel?”

Now the rest of Sander’s coworkers dissolved into hysterics. Cas almost fell over, grabbing an IV pole for support. When it rolled, he went down with it. If Céleste had wanted to shut them up this time, a look would not have done it. Michaël, the least inebriated of the group, gave Robbe an apologetic shrug.

“You’re in the hospital,” Robbe said. His voice remained steady, though he’d blushed even deeper red. “Do you remember what happened to you?”

“Huh?”

“I kicked you in the head,” Théo supplied from the floor beside Cas, “and then you threw up and passed out on the sidewalk.”

What the fuck?

Robbe glowered at Théo. “You kicked him in the head?”

“We were at a bar.” Théo shrugged. “He fell over while dancing and I kicked him in the head.”

Now that they mentioned it, Sander’s head retained a ghost of an image. Michaël, under strobe lights again. Head connecting to concrete. In this lens, though, it all seemed like a caricature.

Robbe put his hands to his temples as if he’d never experienced stupidity at such a magnitude before. “Then he threw up on the sidewalk?”

“Yep.”

“And he passed out?”

“Yep.”

“Is that where the blood on your head came from?”

Théo brushed his fingertips over the scarlet crust adorning his forehead. “Oh, yeah. I leaned down to check if he was breathing, y’know?”

Huh, suddenly Sander felt nauseous… no, tired, really tired… time to take a little nap…

“Mr. Driesen,” said Robbe, jarring Sander back. “Do you remember any of that?”

Sander decided to intact some subtle flirting so the angel would let him sleep. “I’m in love with you.” Nailed it.

“No, Mr. Driesen, do you remember being kicked in the head?”

“Your eyes are pretty.”

“Mr. Driesen?”

Céleste held onto Sander’s bed railings to keep herself upright. “He’s not gonna know.” She pantomimed tilting a beer back.  

“You use conditioner, don’t you?” said Sander, because it seemed like the natural direction of conversation.

“It’s not really my job to do this.” Robbe shined the light into Sander’s eyes. “Please follow the light for me with your eyes not your head.”

Sander stared him down and didn’t move an inch. “You don’t?”

“How does your tummy feel?” He was talking like he would with little children, going through the motions, Sander guessed. It was a good guess. He could be a very good guesser once the alcohol started to wear off. “Does your stomach hurt?”

Sander was too busy thinking about his guessing prowess to answer the question. The alcohol was not, in fact, wearing off.

Robbe took a step away from the bed, as if considering another test to determine the extent of injury. He thought better of it. “This isn’t my job. I’ll refer him through to the specialist. And you—” He stared daggers at Théo. “—should put the correct age on paperwork. Are we clear?”

“He acts like he’s six,” Théo offered.

“If something more pressing was wrong, mislabeling his age could lead to the hospital being under-prepared to treat the ailment.” Robbe’s eyes returned to meet Sander’s. Sander felt sparks travel through his fingertips… or maybe he was just cold. “Some symptoms mean more when in children than in adults, and you could have panicked an entire ward over a lesser problem.”

“If it was so bad,” Cas protested, “The guy at the nurses’ station would have shut us down! He let it through.”

Robbe, while maybe a little flushed, had kept everything together until that point. As soon as the words exited Cas’s mouth, he made a face like a key in his head had turned and everything had clicked. Without another word to Sander or his friends, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the hospital room.

“Jens!” Sander heard him yell. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Sander’s coworkers burst into crazed laughter for the umpteenth time that night. When they recovered though, there was a wordless agreement that it was time to head back home and leave Sander with Michaël for the remainder of the tests, since they were roommates. He was glad for it; everything in his body wanted him to lay very still for the next three hundred and fifty years. The blankets were soft. His eyelids were heavy. There was blood on his face and a gash that someone would have to wake him up later to stitch. He had earned a good night’s rest by now.

One by one, they filed past the curtains. Sander was concussed, and maybe a little drunk, and the least credible source for information on body language. That said, he could have sworn that Michaël took his hand at some point when the new doctor came in.

No need to care about that. When he drifted off, he imagined kissing Robbe under strobe lights, even though he knew the infatuation would dissipate before morning.

[thetruthshallsetyoufre]

Occult Symbolism

The Illuminati are said to be a group of globalist elite who secretly worship Lucifer, which is revealed in the highest degrees of Freemasonry, and rule the world systems using money. From Biblical scripture, we can see Satan offered the worldly kingdoms to Christ Jesus if He would bow down to him:

On our United States money, there is a pyramid with the eye of Lucifer on the captstone, showing Lucifers' rule and dominion over the world systems. Under it reads Novus Ordo Seclorum. The motto Novus ordo seclorum can be translated as "A new order of the ages." It was proposed by Charles Thomson, the Latin expert who was involved in the design of the Great Seal of the United States. We also see the words "Annuit Coeptis" which translates to "announcing the birth of." It seems this alludes to the Annoucing the Birth of the New World Order once the Capstone is in place, which I theorize represents the One World Leader - the AntiChrist who will soon appear as a false savior.

The Latin 'E Pluribus Unum' means 'One out of many' and probably refers to the AntiChrist rising out of many nations and people. According to Manly P. Hall, a known 33° Freemason and member of the Illuminati indicated that this Eagle is rather a conventional Phoenix, which is known as the firebird of ancient pagan religions that causes destruction of itself in order to bring about a stronger self. This seems to coincide with the Freemason motto "Ordo Ab Chao" which means "Order out of Chaos." https://www.watchmanalexander.com/blog/the-occult-symbolism-of-the-phoenix-part-1 According to Watchman Alex, Manly P Hall had a book titled Phoenix and revealed the following: The legend of the phoenix got its start in ancient Egypt, where the bird was known as the bennu. As with many Egyptian ideas, the tale of the bennu passed into Greece and was restyled. As the Greeks tell it, the phoenix is a striking, eagle-like bird with brilliant purple feathers, and plumes of alternating red and blue in its tail. It is extremely long-lived and essentially immortal because it can resurrect itself at its time of death. Some say that the bird's former body opens up to reveal its new form, whereas others say that the bird consumes itself with fire before its new body can rise from the ashes. After recreating itself, the phoenix takes its nest, still filled with its own remains, and transports it to the city of Heliopolis to be burnt on an altar to the sun god, Helios/Ra. These Luciferian puppets of the Illuminati  and secret orders do the work of Satan for their own gain, and believe that through the ashes of destruction, the Antichrist will rise into power with the Final Beast System (Daniel 7).  According to Bible prophecy, this will be the 7 years before Jesus returns to establish His Kingdom (Jude 1:14-15). This rise out of ashes is symbolized as the Rise of the Phoenix in the occult.

Lucifer - Fire and Ashes In the below Old Testament passage, we see that the LORD used Ezekiel to send a message to the King of Tyrus, yet there is more to the story, a lot more. We can observe that the below passage is really a message to Lucifer, who was working through the King of Tyrus. We can say that because there is no way that the King of Tyrus was in the Garden of Eden, nor was he the most anointed Cherub who was banished from Heaven, that alone speaks of Lucifer:

Ezekiel 28:11-19 KJV - Moreover the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, [12] Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyrus, and say unto him, Thus saith the Lord God ; Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty. [13] Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was thy covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold: the workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created. [14] Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so : thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire. [15] Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee. [16] By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire. [17] Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee. [18] Thou hast defiled thy sanctuaries by the multitude of thine iniquities, by the iniquity of thy traffick; therefore will I bring forth a fire from the midst of thee, it shall devour thee, and I will bring thee to ashes upon the earth in the sight of all them that behold thee. [19] All they that know thee among the people shall be astonished at thee: thou shalt be a terror, and never shalt thou be any more. In verses 18 and 19 of Ezekiel 28, we clearly see that YHVH God is telling Lucifer, the fallen angel and god of this world, that YHVH will send a fire to destroy him and all of his work will be ashes. We also know that at the end of the dispensation of the ages to come, the LORD will cast Lucifer into the fire for ever and ever: Revelation 20:10 KJV - And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

I assume that Lucifer bitterly took this message from the LORD YHVH and made it into a prideful and rebellious religion of rebuilding kingdoms and nations after God sends judgment and justice by fire and ashes. In some cases, I believe Satan creates the chaos and fire himself to persuade the people into a new agenda or deception via Ordo Ab Chao, and God will allow it because the sins of the people. This has happened throughout the ages of the earth since the first sin by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Satan also uses this Firebird motif to represent his spirit being reincarnated into the wicked rulers of the world, yet I believe those rulers and kings were just normal people who were fooled and possessed by Lucifer. Yet, it appears this is the Religious narrative of the Luciferians. The False Messiah, Pagan Sun God, Phoenix An article by the Gnostic Warrior purports the following information concerning the Pheonix or Bennu bird in relation to the Sun god Ra and his son. • Gnostic Warrior Article The Phoenix is one of the most sacred symbols to the brotherhood we know of as the Order of the Quest. It symbolizes the morning star who is the son of the sun, the father in which we celebrate through the rising of this most glorious fire-bird from the flames into immortality and reincarnation. The phoenix is the son and the messiah that has risen to become the soul of the Sun-God Ra. This is represented today with the obelisk of the Porta del Popolo in Rome pictured to the right where we can find near the top an adoration of Ra with the words, ‘Rameses II, son of Ra, who rilled the temple of the Phoenix [ha-t-bennu] with his splendors.’ There is also seen in the Vatican on the wooden coffin of Hetepher-t-s a picture where it seen a hawk and a Phoenix with the words, ‘Glory be to Ra in the underworld!’ ‘Glory be to Ra when he rises!’ As Manly P. Hall said in his book, The Lost Keys of Freemasonry – “These were the immortals to whom the term ‘phoenix’ was applied, and their symbol was the mysterious two-headed bird, now called an eagle, a familiar and little understood Masonic emblem .” It is in City of the Sun or in Greek, Heliopolis where the first written records were given to us by Herodotus in his work titled Euterpe had written how the Phoenix was first seen in Heliopolis during the reign of Sesostris and then in the reign of Amasis shortly after the days of Ptolemy. The most important temple in the City of the Sun at this time was the “Mansion of the Phoenix” or “Mansion of the  Benben.” It has also been called the temple of the sun. In Utterance 600 of the Pyramid Texts speaks of Atum as you rose up, as the benben, in the Mansion of the Benu in Heliopolis (Hart, p.16). In Heliopolis there in the middle of the Temple of the Sun stood an Obelisk with a capstone resting on top that was symbolic of the sun (son), the “Benben Stone” (pictured to the left). A stone obelisk is the material embodiment of the divinity of the Sun Ra, the Father, Zeu pater (“O, father Zeus”) or Saint Peter from the Greeks and Romans, because he was the father of gods and men. The holy of holies in his temple was called ” the house of the benben.” The cap stone is the son, or Ben. The name Ben signifies “son.”

This is why many persons in both in the Old and New Testaments, are distinguished by the addition of the name “Ben” to that of their father in ancient times because they were the sons, AKA bright morning star of Venus and of the father, the Sun.  

The Egyptian name of the Phoenix is bennu, from a root meaning ‘to turn/ so that the bennu signifies, as it were, the returning traveler. The Bennu bird serves as the Egyptian correspondence to the phoenix, and is said to be the soul of the Sun-God Ra. The Book of the Dead says, “I am the Bennu bird, the Heart-Soul of Ra, the Guide of the Gods to the Tuat” and other refrences to the Bennu bird such as “He Who Came Into Being by Himself,” “Ascending One,” and “Lord of Jubilees.” So according to this article the Phoenix represents: 1. The son and the messiah that has risen to become the soul of the Sun-God Ra. 2. Immortals represented as two headed eagles which became the Freemason emblem. 3. The Sun Ra, the Father, Zeu pater (“O, father Zeus”) or Saint Peter from the Greeks and Romans, because he was the father of gods and men. 4. “He Who Came Into Being by Himself,” “Ascending One,” and “Lord of Jubilees.” It seems all of these definitions could allude to the coming AntiChrist who I believe the Luciferians consider to be Tammuz, the son of Nimrod the Babylonian Sun god who impregnated Semiramis (Isis/Ishtar).

The AntiChrist I believe similar to the Phoenix will be birthed out of orchestrated death and destruction by the Globist Elite Luciferians and hence the Freemason Motto "Ordo Ab Chao". The tip of the obelisk of Ra, known as the Capstone called "Benben Stone" is said to embody the blasphemous "divinity" of the sun god Ra and Zeus which is the false light of Lucifer. This Capstone is probably referenced on the US Dollar as you see the Eye of Horus or Eye of Lucifer shining upon his pyramid which is symbolic of his decieved kingdom on earth. When the Capstone sets on the Egyptian Pyramid, it probably alludes to the soon to appear AntiChrist, the reincarnated Sun god Ra (Tammuz, Zeus, Apollo, Nimrod, Etc.) who will be crowned and sit on his throne of deception as the New World Leader (Daniel 7 - Little Horn).

It also appears as though the Children of Israel at one point fell away from the Most High God of the Bible and began sacrificing their sons and daughters to the Pagan sun gods Baal/Moloch. Likewise, it seems Americans and lukewarm Christians do the same today without knowing it in the name of freedom (Lady Liberty/Ishtar): Baal Canaanite Pagan Sun Diety https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/baal

It seems that the blood of the innocent is a form of spiritual currency which advances Satan's Kingdom on earth and greatly grieves the LORD YHVH. Modern Day Molech By Charles Patrick on Jul 14, 2015 https://swbts.edu/news/releases/modern-day-molech/ "With the release of an undercover video today, the world learned, I hope, that a modern day Molech exists. Molech, as described in the Old Testament of the Bible, was an Ammonite god who required propitiatory child sacrifice. A couple sacrificed their firstborn by burning the child on a metal idol of Molech, believing that Molech would ensure financial prosperity for the family and future children. The Israelites were strictly forbidden to practice this form of worship (Leviticus 18:21, 20:2-5; 2 Kings 223:10; and Jeremiah 32:35) as it is in stark contradiction to the sanctity of life espoused throughout the Bible. Today’s Molech is the abortion industry, sacrificing babies for the idol of financial greed, veiled in the hopes of the development of new cures through biomedical research. Biomedical research, like all the sciences, is ethically and morally neutral. The application of biomedical research, however, can be right or wrong. I have no problem with biomedical research in general. In fact, I had a previous 18-year career in biomedical research and can attest that the majority of biomedical research is ethically sound. However, basing bioethics on the truths of the Bible, abortion and the associated harvesting and selling of body parts from aborted babies is ethically, morally, and biblically wrong." Osiris, Horus, and the Phoenix It seems the Phoenix bird was also a motif in the ancient Egyptian culture although with small variations. The most prominent Sun god figure in Egypt was Osiris, who was said to be the incarnate form of the sun god. In the same manner as Nimrod and Tammuz, the spirit of Osiris was said to have been reincarnated or resurrected through his son Horus. This is a classic story of the pagan Father Sun god, Mother Moon god, and Son Sun god as the reincarnated form of the Father sun god. This is the pagan Trinity of the occult and pagan religions which is essentially Lucifer worship, the false sun god and false light (2 Corinthians 4:4) of the world.

Horus is connected to the Egyptian sun God and the colorful falcon which is a symbol of ressurection and reincarnation of the pagan sun diety. It seems this colorful Horus falcon is likened to the Occult Phoenix or Bennu Bird. https://www.ask-aladdin.com/egypt-gods/horus/ "Every pharaoh of Egypt is said to be an incarnation of Horus who as per legends is said to have conquered the evil god Seth in Upper Egypt. Seth is said to be the god of confusion and turmoil who killed Osiris who was the father of Horus. Horus in order to take revenge for his father’s death then became the god of justice and order. Thus the pharaoh Horus in ancient Egypt became Horus on earth who was the ruler of both upper and Lower Egypt. Horus is represented by the Hawk as the god of the sky. It’s a symbol of divine kingship and the protector of the one who is ruling." It seems the famous "star" and now Luciferian songstress "Katie Perry" glorifies her father Lucifer by dressing as this colorful Horus Falcon which is a symbol of the pagan Sun god of Egypt. This appears to be analogous to the Phoenix or Bennu bird, and is a representation of the coming AntiChrist figure who the Luciferians believe was reincarnated and brought forth through the ashes of death and destruction.

The Crown - The AntiChrist   The word "Corona" in Latin means a Crown, or a wreath-crown or garland. The interesting thing is that in the Book of Revelation the AntiChrist will recieve a Crown at his appearing, and will deceive the nations as a false Savior with a false peace covenant (a bow): Revelation 6:2 KJV - And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

One fascinating historical fact is that many if not all of the major pagan leaders and Kings of ancient times, and perhaps even of recent times, have equated themselves with being an incarnation of a god if not the so called all powerful pagan sun god. We see in the below article from the encyclopedia that the Crown was associated with the pagan sun god: https://www.encyclopedia.com/humanities/culture-magazines/crowns "Along with height, some accessories on crowns also linked the wearer with the divine. The solar disk, for example, was often a central element of a crown and associated the wearer with the sun god, Re. The Uraeus-snake (cobra) was also often part of the crown and symbolized the sun god's eye. The god's eye represented the fire and radiance of the sun that consumed potential enemies. The Uraeus thus represented divine protection for the wearer." The Crown is actually a physical representation of the shining light that emits from the face of the literal Sun in the heavens, as we observe the below pictures.

We also see a Center for Disease Control article also gives insight as to the link between the pagan sun gods and the deification of pagan kings and emperors, in relation to the Coronavirus appearance:

https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/26/9/ac-2609_article

  Our modern-day corona conceptualization of club-shaped spikes on the coronavirus surface comes from traditional representations of crowns as radiate headbands, worn as symbols of sovereign power, to liken that power to that of the sun. Solar deities have been integral in the development of cultures across the world. In predynastic Egypt, Atum was a solar deity associated with the sun god Ra, and Horus was the god of the sky and sun. In Buddhist cosmology, the bodhisattva (one who is on the path toward Buddhahood) of the sun, SūryaprabhaExternal Link, and the bodhisattva of the moon, Candraprabha, are both classically represented as human figures with a background of radiate halos. In traditional Western art, such a solar crown is often represented as a curved band of points representing rays. Representations with radiate crowns date from the 4th century BCE onward, beginning with their frequent inclusion in representations of Alexander III of Macedon (commonly referred to as Alexander the Great), who was likened to the sun deity, Helios (Figure 1)." Furthermore, it is my understanding that the Luciferian Elite, perhaps since the ancient of days, have believed their rulers to be the physical incarnation of their pagan sun Diety. Therefore, it would only prove logical to assume they believe the final AntiChrist and One World Leader Revelation 13, is their pagan sun god reincarnated. We see this idea of the pagan sun god being reincarnated in the story of Nimrod and his son Tammuz as well as the Egyptian story of Osiris and his son Horus.

This idea of pagan rulers thinking they are the pagan sun god would fall in line with Bible prophesy as we see the AntiChrist who will soon appear will call himself the Most High God - which Christians know to be false because Jesus Christ is the Most High God and the only manifestation of God on the earth (John 1, Colossians 1, 2 Corinthians 5:19). 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4 KJV - Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition; [4] Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself that he is God. Therefore it seems the AntiChrist, as the false pagan sun Diety which I believe to be Lucifer himself, will rule the New World Order for the final 7 year period before Jesus returns to the earth to establish His Millennial Kingdom (Revelation 19-20). Corona (Crown) Virushttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1sR-CEGtNG0q9a1waN2gZD8I23hfK3g9md2kPALuRl8A/edit?usp=drivesdk

Phoenix Mural - United Nations According to Wikipedia (Article Here), the United Nations Security Council features a huge Phoenix Mural. The United Nations is AntiChrist in nature and is seeking global unity for the One World Order. It is interesting to note, the same symbolism of rising into a new age is presented in the Mural:

The artwork was commissioned by the Norwegian government as a gift from Norway to the United Nations. The mural is a 16 x 26 foot long canvas located on the Security Council's east wall and displays a central image of a rising phoenix. The phoenix is surrounded by images of war and disharmony near the bottom of the mural, and more tranquil images at the top. In 2013, Norway's Foreign Minister Espen Barth Eide, stated that Krohg's ambition "was to give the United Nations a chamber that could inspire those working in it to carry out the core of the United Nations mandate".

Through a vaginal shaped canal it seems we can see a peek at their "New Age of Luciferianism" that will be birthed by the coming of the AntiChrist and One World Order. It is a symbolic gesture of a golden age being birthed from chaos and death. It also seems to hint at the Nimord, Semiramis, and Tammuz pagan story, whereas, it seems the AntiChrist will be a sort of Nimrod reincarnated, the Tammuz which is the false light of the world (Revelation 6:1-2). It could also allude to the AntiChrist figure proposing to his Bride, the decieved and unsuspecting world who will worship the Beast (AntiChrist) and his image (Revelation 13). A union of deception and death in which will carry over to the Lake of Fire for eternity (Revelation 19-20). This luciferian globalist's New World Order agenda is reiterated in another discription or commentary on the UN Security Council Phoenix Mural. Full article can be found here: • Michael More Jones Commentary Per Krohg’s painting is some five by nine metres, and is divided horizontally; the lower-third is executed in dark colours, the upper two-thirds much lighter with UN-white and blue motifs. Colour alone gives much of the work’s message: the lighter colours suggest peace, progress and truth, while the darker colours depict a hellish landscape. “Symbolising”, the UNSC tells us, “the promise of future peace and individual freedom”, the work shows a phoenix rising from a dark landscape into a light-filled world of progress. Though complex, with many panels depicting separate scenes, the painting’s overall message is simple: technology, justice and truth, united by the nuclear family and the UN-led world order, are forces that progress humanity. The Bennu Bird (Phoenix) http://m.landofpyramids.org/bennu.htm Name: Bennu is the Egyptian word for Phoenix. The name 'bennu' derives from the Egyptian word “weben,” meaning “to rise brilliantly” or “to shine.”

Description: The Bennu bird is described as resembling an eagle with beautiful red and gold feathers Representation in art: The sacred Bennu bird is often represented in ancient Egyptian art as a heron, that is characterized by two long feathers streaming from the back of the head Symbol: The Bennu (Phoenix) was was one of the most potent symbols of ancient Egypt symbolizing resurrection and the rising sun. It was also associated with the rising of the Nile

Significance: The sacred Bennu bird (Phoenix) destroys itself in flames and then rises from the ashes. Sanctuary of the Bennu: The Bennu was located in the Sun Temple of Atum Ra at Heliopolis. Phoenix Symbolism - Genki Sudo We also see the former MMA fighter Genki Sudo who became the lead band member for the Japanese Band named "New World Order" came out with hits such as "Let's Start WW3" and has his part in the Occult symbolism of the Pheonix:

[cinemavariety]

Cinema Variety’s Top Favorite Films of 2019

To quote Principal Duvall from the 2004 teen comedy classic Mean Girls: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners, and that I couldn’t be happier the year is ending” 2019 was both a super difficult year personally, but even more so, I feel as if it was one of the weakest years for cinema in recent memory. Thankfully the last few months of the year have made up for it with a surplus of absolutely incredible cinematic experiences, many of which are reflected in this year’s rankings. I present to you my favorite films of 2019. Check out my rankings from previous years by checking out the links below:

Top Picks of 2018 List Top Picks of 2017 List Top Picks of 2016 List Top Picks of 2015 List Top Picks of 2014 List Top Picks of 2013 List

Honorable Mentions: Midsommar Uncut Gems Parasite 3 From Hell The Death and Life of John F. Donavan **THIS LIST IS IN ORDER AND CONTAINS SOME MILD SPOILERS**

#16 - Ready or Not Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ready or Not looked entertaining enough from the trailers, but it certainly wasn’t anything I was dying to go see. Especially in a movie theatre. However my brother convinced me to go with him and it ended up being one of the most consistently fun and entertaining theatrical experiences of 2019.

There were a lot of similar plot elements to the brilliant 2013 horror film - You’re Next (which by the way is one of my favorites). The plot is about a young girl, who grew up an orphan, marrying into an insanely wealthy family. The family has a tradition of playing a game on the wedding night, and she ends up choosing a game of hide and seek. Unbeknownst to the bride, the family is actually planning to hunt her down and murder her in order to perform some type of satanic ritual.     

Horror comedies only work for me about half the time, but his film has enough graphic violence and intense situations to counterbalance all of the humor throughout. They complemented each other well and the result was a super funny and super bloody cat and mouse hunt of social classes.

#15 - Doctor Sleep Directed by Mike Flanagan

Helming the sequel to The Shining is no easy undertaking whatsoever. Kubrick’s arthouse horror masterpiece will forever remain not only one of my favorite of his films, but also as one of my favorite genre pieces in general. I was immediately relieved when I discovered that Mike Flanagan signed on to direct the adaptation of Stephen King’s sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I already knew beforehand that Doctor Sleep was more of a fantasy story than a direct horror, and also wasn’t one of the most popular of King’s works. The film ended up being a pretty epic fantasy thriller. Flanagan excels in creating his own universe while also honoring the source material, as well as paying homage to Kubrick’s film. However, it shines more when it does its own thing instead of trying to be nostalgia porn.

Most of the film worked for me, some of it didn’t. The recasting of Jack Torrance’s character left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Ewan McGregor does a great job as the recovering Danny but it is really Rebecca Ferguson who steals the show with her villain character Rose the Hat.

Doctor Sleep proves that Flanagan has become one of the most consistent horror directors working in the industry. There’s always a pulse to be discovered in the foundations of his storytelling.

#14 - High Life Directed by Claire Denis

Claire Denis, one of the most polarizing French auteurs, debuted her first English language film in 2019 with High Life. I had the pleasure of seeing the film on a big screen, and even though I felt a little underwhelmed as an initial reaction to the finale, the film seemed to linger in my subconscious like a haunting unresolved dream. It held up even better on a re-watch, which you can view for free if you have Amazon Prime.

It’s definitely unlike any space film that I have ever seen. The premise surrounds a group of prisoners on death row who are sent to the farthest depths of space on a doomed voyage. All of the occupants are corralled by Juliette Binoche’s character, who plays some type of mad space scientist, is obsessed with collecting their semen in order to create new life in the abyss of the cosmos.

High Life is a slow burn, often minimalist film, which relies more heavily on atmosphere/score/visuals than it does on dialogue or forced plot elements. It’s bewilderingly nihilistic in how it depicts human behavior gone horribly awry. Robert Pattinson gives an understated performance and seems to provide the only glimmer of what seems to be hope by the end of the film.

#13 - Too Old to Die Young Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. Hate seems to seep out of the cracks of every neon-soaked frame in the limited series. Amazon gave Refn free reigns in creating his phantasmagoria.

All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series.

I won’t lie, I found it to be some of Refn’s most challenging work to date. There are so many aspects to be found within this series that went over my head, it is art that demands a re-watch. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#12 - Age Out Directed by A.J. Edwards

A.J. Edwards returned in 2019 with his sophomore directorial effort - Age Out (originally titled Friday’s Child). Edwards has served as one of many creatives who worked on the editing team of Terrence Malick’s films in the last decade. Malick’s influence on the director is quite noticeable. Edwards directed his first film in 2014, The Better Angels, which was a decent debut. Whereas The Better Angels oftentimes felt too close of a mimicry of Malick’s style, Age Out utilizes certain aspects of the style while also allowing Edwards to have his own authorial voice.

The film centers around a young man named Richie as he is about to “age out” of the foster care facility in which he was raised - a frightening reality for countless youth in America and around the world. Richie is left to navigate the difficulties of the adult world at a mere eighteen years old, without any family or parental figures to help him along the way. He makes friends with a seedy townie who revels in delinquency and causing ruckus. Also, there is a romantic subplot between Richie and a girl named Joan, portrayed tenderly by Imogen Poots. This relationship seems to be the only saving grace in Richie’s life. However, a turn of events soon reveal that Richie’s traumatic past has gotten the better of him and threatens to doom his entire future.

Edwards shoots the film in a boxed style with a 1.33 : 1 aspect ratio. This aids with the sense of claustrophobia and paranoia that invades Richie’s life. As aforementioned, many of Malick’s motifs are used here: a floating steadicam guiding the audience along, hushed dialogue, montages with classical music, and even some voice overs. However, this aesthetic isn’t heavy handed in any way. In fact, it’s a joy to see directors whose work can almost go into the Malick canon as the auteur has had such an influence on a lot of young, upcoming directors. Age Out is both a coming of age story and a cry of warning for unhealed trauma.

#11 - An Elephant Sitting Still Directed by Hu Bo

An Elephant Sitting Still now holds the spot as the longest running film that I have ever seen. It sits in at just under four hours, and it completely delivers without ever feeling like it drags on unnecessarily. The film technically premiered in 2018 and is considered a 2018 film among critic circles. However, the epic didn’t get a widespread distribution in the U.S. until this year, so I am overlooking this discrepancy. The film was marked with somewhat of a controversy after the director Hu Bo took his own life right after post production was completed. Hu Bo is an author turned director and An Elephant Sitting Still marks his first foray into cinema. It’s one of the best directorial debuts I have ever seen.

The film centers around four different characters during the span of a single day. All of these characters are marked with some sort of tragedy, and many of their stories intertwine in a synchronistic fashion. It reminded me of other masterpieces such an Inarittu’s Amores Perros or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. The film takes place in the industrial regions of Northern China, and the barren landscapes reflect an inner emptiness that emanates from all the characters.

There is a hollowness to these people as they navigate through life. An Elephant Sitting Still is nothing short of nihilistic. It’s an angry, desperate and hauntingly beautiful cry of pain from a director who was most certainly haunted by his own inner demons. It manages to be both an odyssey of human cruelty and a swan song from a young man who didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

#10 - Joker Directed by Todd Phillips

“It’s getting crazier out there, isn’t it?” These are some of the first lines to be uttered in Todd Philip’s pitch-black satire on society. These lines are what best exemplify the themes that Philip’s was pushing: our society is profoundly sick, everything seems to be getting worse, we have no saviors in sight and hope isn’t always on the horizon. Just from these first utterances, it is clear that Philips is taking all of the political and socioeconomic turmoil of the last four years and has created a problem child that is Joker.

Joaquin Phoenix turns in one of his most disturbed and flawless performances yet - which is no surprise. However, I have yet to see him embody a character so genuinely as he did in The Master. But this isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson, this is Todd Phillips. And the fact that the comedy director even created this piece of art is something that still has me scratching my head. Subtlety is never at play in the film, and there are quite a few plot points that are a little too on-the-nose, even for me. However, all of the other elements redeem it and make this one of the best films of the year. The cinematography is pleasing for the eyes, and the menacing cello scores echoes an existential loneliness that I felt permeate my very being.

The last thirty minutes are exactly what I was hoping from this film. It’s a breath of fresh air to see Hollywood actually stick to creating a nihilistic film that doesn’t once try to water itself down.

#9 - Luce Directed by Julius Onah

Director Julius Onah decided to really step up his game with his latest film Luce. After the dumpster fire that was The Cloverfield Paradox (seriously, thanks for completely ruining what was becoming a dope anthology franchise), Onah has proven that he can be a master of his craft with the proper source material. In regards to the story being told, every element of the film works to its advantage: editing, performances, direction, and most importantly - the screenplay. It’s one of most well written screenplays I have come across in 2019. I immediately could tell from the dialogue that this movie must have been adapted from a stage play, and sure enough upon searching, I found out it was. Not all stage adaptations work, in fact I’d say more than half don’t end up being too effective, but this one stuck its landing and then more.

The story revolves around an overly concerned teacher who contacts Luce’s parents after he writes a paper that comes off as threatening. The paper in question seemed to hold a sentiment in which violence was called for in order to overcome colonialism. It’s important to note that Luce was a child soldier in his native country before being adopted by his parents - played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth who both gave stunning performances. The rest of the story is an investigation into who their son actually is, which eventually results in moral debates regarding race and identity.

Luce is also a film that effectively helps the audience empathize with the main character, while at the same time questioning whether his intentions are genuine, or a coy to hide something much darker. The truth isn’t always black and white, and this was my biggest takeaway from the movie.

#8 - Monos Directed by Alejandro Landes

Monos felt like a hybrid of elements inspired from great works such as Lord of the Flies, Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Apocalypse Now. This is only the third film to be directed by Alejandro Landes, however it looks and feels as if it was created by a seasoned veteran of the industry.

A group of children guerilla soldiers hold base on a mountaintop where they keep a hostage, watch over a prized cow, and act as a defensive force against an unbeknownst group of enemies. There is little to no exposition in the film. Landes drops the audience off right in the middle of the chaos.

We aren’t exactly sure what these children are risking their lives to fight for, or why they are doing it, but it goes to show the conditions in which they were raised for them to find normalcy in the violent lifestyle of a guerilla soldier. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous, and there are even a few scenes where I questioned how they accomplished such shots/stunts with a low budget.

#7 - The Beach Bum Directed by Harmony Korine

The Beach Bum might not be the best film that Harmony Korine has directed (it’s certainly no Spring Breakers), but it is easily the most fun. It’s been almost seven long years since Korine’s last project, and I had been waiting in eager anticipation to see what he would do next. He was originally going to do a gangster crime drama called The Trap, which is what I was really hoping from Korine, but that fell through and he ended up making one of the best stoner comedies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

The Beach Bum is probably Korine’s most accessible and audience-friendly film he’s ever done. I say that lightly though, because it still remains just as highly divisive as his other work. The plot is loose. It follows the misadventures and antics of Moondog, a washed up poet and complete burnout. He is soon sent to rehab for all of his illegal activities, in which he breaks out with the help of Zac Efron’s character, who might have just been my favorite character of the film. Korine seems to have a consistently solid knack to create dirty, seedy and absolutely enthralling characters.

I am really happy that he decided to keep a very similar visual aesthetic to his previous masterpiece, Spring Breakers. Benoit Debie, who is the king of neon lighting and discombobulating camerawork, does a masterful job at creating the textured and visual world of The Beach Bum. Hell, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I decided to see it twice on the big screen.

I’m not the biggest fan of comedies, mostly because I have a very bizarre sense of humor and find most of them to be completely hollow. But Korine’s darkly nihilistic sense of humor suits my sensibilities perfectly and I found myself laughing out loud at various points throughout The Beach Bum. It’s a fun, and even slightly endearing film at certain points thanks to the presence of Isla Fisher’s character as the wife. I look forward to whatever Korine decides to do next. At this point, who knows where he will decide to go with his career. I just hope I don’t have to wait another five plus years to see more of his work.

#6 - A Hidden Life Directed by Terrence Malick

Malick isn’t “back” - he never left. A Hidden Life isn’t a “return to form”. His form has always been there, it’s been evolving since The Tree of Life. In fact, the structure and flow of this film is extremely reminiscent of his past three films.

How far are you willing to walk the path of righteousness, even when the path is marred with pain and unanswered sufferings? How long are you able to cling to your faith when it feels like all hope is lost? How do you fight for what is good, when everyone around you is telling you to submit to forces of absolute evil? These are some of just many questions explored in Terrence Malick’s newest tour de force. As with many of Malick’s recent work, these aren’t questions that are necessarily outright answered during the film. They are instead questions of morality meant to be repeated throughout the story, almost like a mantra or an ode to pure faith.

A Hidden Life is Malick’s first return to chronological and narrative-driven filmmaking since The New World. It has garnered praise almost universally among critics, and is regarded as his best film in ten years since The Tree of Life. While I am in the few who don’t exactly agree that this is Malick’s best film in a decade, I might even dare say that it is among my least favorites of Malick’s recent output, I am still not denying the sublime mastery instilled in every single shot of this film.

A Hidden Life tells the noble true story of Franz Jagerstatter, an Austrian conscientious objector, who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War II due to his religious beliefs and is eventually executed for it. He is decades later deemed a martyr by the Church - all the more telling as to why Malick decided to tackle this story. The heart of this story is told through letters that Franz and his wife Fani exchange throughout his period spent as a political prisoner. Fani seems to be one of the only people in Franz’s life who sticks by his side. No matter how soul crushing Franz’s decision is for Fani, she understands him well enough to know that death is a better option than spoiling your soul and humanity. “Better to suffer injustices than to do it,” as one character painfully states in the film. And while I wasn’t as emotionally wrecked as I thought I would be by this film, I instead feel inspired by Franz’s commitment to his innate goodness. The back and forth perspectives of Franz and Fani are well executed -  we as an audience get reprieves from the dreary confines of a prison cell to the majestic grandeur of the Austrian mountainside. The mountains and surrounding nature are characters within themselves. Near the finale, as Franz is face to face with his mortality, his mind wanders back to riding his motorcycle through the village on a sunny day as the mountains loom in the background. These are the final desires of a doomed man, something as simple as having the freedom to go outside and feel the grass beneath his feet - to experience the wonders of nature that most people don’t think twice about.

As mentioned earlier, it is far from my favorite of Malick’s oeuvre, and is not without its slight misgivings. It was stated that this was Malick’s return to “narratively focused” filmmaking. But he still utilized his signature elliptical style, and for me these moods oftentimes clashed and kept me at a distance emotionally. I rarely say this with a Malick film, but more of a reliance on dialogue would have worked wonders for me. There are quite a few sequences in which Malick opted for montage instead of a more fleshed out scene, which I believe would have further added to the power of the story.

These are all slight issues, and I myself might be a harsher critic than most simply because I hold Malick to such a high standard. Once you can give yourself to the film, A Hidden Life becomes a true zen experience. It managed to instill a sense of serene presence within myself. I felt very grateful for the most basic and common details of my life and this world. Malick’s work can be such a sensorial rush, and making even mundane objects and rooms look absolutely gorgeous, that it’s as if “everything is shining” in my own life after seeing the film. I look forward to returning to The Church of Malick very soon.

#5 - Ad Astra Directed by James Gray

Ad Astra got a lot of unwarranted hate this year in my opinion. It truly is a shame because I believe that James Gray has struck gold once again. While I don’t adore it to the same degree as I did Gray’s previous feature, The Lost City of Z, Ad Astra succeeds in being one of the most understated space films made in the 21st century.

It’s not exactly a wholly original story, or a plot that is something that we haven’t seen before. It’s the way Gray goes about telling this story and exploring these themes that makes it so very special. It’s not forcing any overreaching philosophical or ethical message onto the viewer, it’s not overly complicated or overly long, and rather than trying to present completely senseless physical explanations to the audience, it just accepts the fiction aspect as “science fiction”.

Hoyte Van Hoytema is a brilliant Director of Photography and he crafts some of the most breathtaking space shots in recent memory. He really captures the breathtaking enormity of the cosmis abyss. The scenes that take place near Nepture during the finale are jaw dropping. We see two characters wrestling each other while suspended midair and the camera pulls out to reveal their absolutely terrifying ordeal while splashes of Neptune’s purple color emanates behind them. What I enjoyed most about the film is this sort of serene, zen atmosphere that Gray creates through the visuals, the score and Brad Pitt’s heartfelt but quietly somber voiceover.

Pitt portrays a lonely, broken and existentially conflicted astronaut. He finds the quiet infinitude of space to be a reprieve from the chaos of conflict happening down on Earth. He feels more at home among the stars than he does on the planet in which he was born. His perspective reminds me of the blue God from Watchmen, Doctor Manhattan, when he’s dwelling peacefully on Mars and laments his feelings toward Earth and all the people on it: “I am tired of Earth. These People. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.”

James Gray’s Ad Astra, much like his previous two films before this, detail the pains and tribulations of undaunted pioneers as they explore foreign territories. The final monologue of Pitt’s washed over me like a gentle breeze: “I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burders, as they share mine. I will live and love.”

#4 - Anima Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Interprative dance, experimental film, and visual albums are three of my absolutely favorite art forms. The real MVP of modern cinema, Paul Thomas Anderson, has collaborated with one of the real MVP’s of modern music, Thom Yorke, to create a fifteen minute long music video on the power of human connection.

Thom Yorke plays a sleepy commuter, a passive bystander, a human sheep, a functioning cog in some great machinery. He makes brief eye contact with a pretty woman on the train, and notices that she leaves behind a briefcase. The rest of the short details his efforts as he dodges through obstacle after obstacle trying to find the woman and return the briefcase to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Anderson concocts the innermost desires of being seen, understood, and loved. The results are strokes of flashing light projections on concrete walls, bodies undulating as they separate and conjoin simultaneously, giddy humans running through fog, and lovers meeting in the union of hearts.

The final section, Dawn Chorus, is one of the most gentle and blissful experiences I have ever witnessed, let alone one in a film distributed by Netflix. Paul Thomas Anderson and Thom Yorke’s project had me understanding why I fell in love with this medium in the first place.

#3 - 1917 Directed by Sam Mendes

1917 takes the spot as my favorite war film of the decade. Personally, I found it to be one of the best war films ever made in general. What director Sam Mendes and DOP Roger Deakins have created is nothing short of a miracle. It’s the first “single take” war film to ever be made, mainly because this is a feat that is far from easy to pull off. Mendes and Deakins shot the movie in extreme long takes, and spliced them all together to make the whole movie come off as a seamless single take. These tracking shots never leave the side of the characters, we are in their footsteps on the journey the entire time.

1917 has a pretty simple premise: two young British soldiers are given a near impossible mission to cross enemy territory and deliver a message that will stop a deadly attack on over 1,500 soldiers - one of them being the brother of one of the two soldiers sent on the mission. The familial aspect contributes added emotional gravitas to the plot overall.

1917 is more of an experiential war film than it is a action or battle focused war film. It’s best to be seen in an IMAX because the sound design and the invasive tracking shots make you feel as if you are walking along these two soldiers as they face grave perils on their quest to deliver the message. I very much so enjoyed that they kept the plot small and intimate, without resorting to constant firepower to keep the audience engaged. That isn’t too say that the movie doesn’t have more than enough of its fair share of nail biting action sequences, and also plenty of gruesome shots depicting the carnage that World War I brought. These soldiers have to army crawl over rotting corpses, while rats and crows are seen pecking and chewing through the remains. The filmmaker doesn’t turn a blind eye to the horrors that war produced. To me, this is one of many reasons why I believe 1917 is superior to other popular recent war films such as Dunkirk. I don’t want my war films to be sanitized. War needs to be portrayed as it truly is - acts of complete inhumanity.

Dare I say that 1917 is Come and See for the 21st century. While Come and See is most definitely the superior film, there were echoes of the classic Soviet Union masterpiece that ring throughout 1917. Maybe it’s the expertly crafted tracking shots, maybe it’s the maddening use of sound design/editing, or maybe it’s the shell shocked expression that is engraved on one of the main characters faces near the finale.

1917 does an amazing job of being very loud, but also utilizing silence in certain scenes to great affect. The juxtaposition is most expertly crafted during one scene that involved flares popping off in the sky, lighting up the ruins of a city, as one the characters runs away from enemy fire. It’s an absolutely exhilarating scene. I ended up bawling by the end of the movie, mostly just because of all the pent up anxiety and distress I felt throughout. You don’t see many films that take place during World War I anymore. But 1917 shows it is not a time period to be forgotten about.

#2 - The Lighthouse Directed by Robert Eggers

I had been eagerly anticipating Robert Eggers’s follow-up film after he released The VVitch back in 2016. At first it was reported that he was going to be doing an adaptation of Nosferatu, which I still think would be a great story for Egger’s to adapt, especially after witnessing what he instead decided to make - The Lighthouse.

Shot gorgeously in black & white on gritty 16mm celluloid, the film looks like it comes from a completely different era (the dialogue as well). There were many shots that had a similar look to some of Bergman’s early work on the Faroe islands.

The Lighthouse has a fairly simple plot. Robert Pattinson plays Winslow who goes to work for a seasoned lighthouse keeper named Thomas who is played by Willem Dafoe. Winslow is new to being a wickie and Thomas takes him under his wing to show him the ropes. Thomas orders him about incessantly in a brute and abusive manner.

There is a minimalism to the plot, however all of the other elements are done so perfectly that the daily grueling routines of these wickies becomes nothing short of hypnotizing. The sound design and score ratchets up the harsh conditions of the island. Wind sounds like its constantly shrieking outside - a reminder of the unease that seems to be building to an overflow. The dialogue, diction, and accents are all completely authentic to the time period and setting that the story is taking place in. Eggers commitment is second to none when it come to detail and authenticity with aspects such as the character’s accents and inflections. A real case of cabin fever befalls the two men who both seem to become obsessed with the mystical light that emanates at the top of the light house.

While I really enjoyed The VVItch, I absolutely adored The Lighthouse and find it to be a much stronger work from Eggers. I think what I vibed with most about it is that the movie doesn’t feel the need to be confined to one particular genre. Whereas The VVitch was literally about a witch bringing misery to a Puritan family, it was constricted to be somewhat of a horror film. However, The Lighthouse manages to be many different tones: a fever dream surrealist film, an arthouse horror, a slapstick comedy, and a nautical retelling of many ancient sea myths. And all of these different tones worked together and bounced off each other in perfect harmony.

I found myself both laughing and completely repulsed by the images I was seeing - especially within the last act of the film which succeeded in shaking me up and making me feel both bewildered and slightly nauseated. It ends up being a gritty, dirty, and uncompromising journey into total psychosis. By the conclusion of the film, the audience comes to the same realization as the two characters - there really was enchantment in the light after all.

#1 - Waves Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Waves is an operatic cry for people to be better to one another. It is by far my favorite film of the year, and I truly believe it to be one of the finest films ever made. It earned itself a well deserved spot in my Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade.

Trey Edward Shults started out his cinematic career on a strong note with Krisha. He delivered once again with his sophomore debut - It Comes at Night (even if I do find it to be easily the weakest of out the three he has directed). But for me, Waves is where Shults really experiments with his style to such a fine tuned degree that we find the director not calming down his vision or becoming more “grounded”, instead he expands upon his prowess with one of the most powerful family dramas I’ve ever seen.

Shults is another director who made my list this year who is somewhat of a protege of Terrence Malick. Shults worked as an intern for Malick on both The Tree of Life and Voyage of Time. It is quite clear the influence that Malick has on Shult’s vision. But Shults, even more-so than Edwards who also made my list this year, has taken Malick’s inspiration and created something wholly his own.

Shults has created an experiential rollercoaster of actions, consequences and the toxic fallout than can come from such actions. Waves is essentially two films in one. The first half is the energetic, chaotic and traumatic first half in its depiction of toxic masculinity taken too far, to the eventual accident that changes all of the characters lives. The camera is constantly floating in this portion, or shall I even say flying through the air and around the characters. The camera has no limits in what it can do and that along with the editing, and most noticeably the insanely perfect soundtrack/score, this portion ends up feeling like one prolonged anxiety attack.

The second half of the film switches character POVs masterfully. There’s a psychedelic shift of perspective from the brother’s eyes covered in flashing lights from the back of a police car to his little sister’s eyes in the back of their parent’s car (you have to have seen the film to completely understand what I am referring to of course). This second half of the film is where the camera slows down a little. This portion is more character focused and less interested in being flashy through its aesthetic. We get more dialogue, more character details, and a lot more tears in this half. It’s like a long cathartic release after experiencing an hour of trauma and abuse. It succeeds in tearing you apart, to only slowly piece you back together.

As mentioned previously, Shults’s soundtrack decisions were the cherry on top for me. Tame Impala, Animal Collective & Tyler the Creator are three of my favorite artists and their music is utilized perfectly within the story. What made this film so special to me, other than the fact it all takes place in the state in which I grew up in, was that no other film has better reminded me of my own humanity in years. This film makes me want to be a better brother, a better friend, a better son, and a better person in general. You never know when a single moment can shatter your entire world. In the end, it left me with a strong message that struck me to my core: appreciate what you have in life, and tread carefully.

[opalescentegg]

‘Princess Tutu’ and the Absent Fish:  An Informal Essay

Anyone familiar with Princess Tutu will recognize and appreciate its masterful melding of diverse fairytale and sometimes mythic elements --- may the record show that I’m no different.  Nevertheless, there is one particular sequence in Ahiru’s heart-shard-hunting quest that never felt quite right: the heart-shard of Curiosity (alternatively, the Desire for Knowledge).  Or, more precisely, it’s the River that always bothered me.

As a one-off magical narrative conceit there’s really nothing wrong with the River having the heart-shard.  Thanks to the episode regarding the heart-shard of Affection, it was already established by that point that non-human(oid) entities could become bearers of pieces of the Prince’s heart.  So the River as heart-shard-holder was at least consistent within the narrative’s internal logic.  What I think I was recognizing through my dissatisfaction with the River, though without even fully comprehending it, was instead a sudden break with what I will term the “chain of motif.”  To put it another way:  every other heart-shard, up until the final five from the town gates, is connected is some way to a recognizable fairytale motif and/or structure; all except for the heart-shard of Curiosity.

For an illustration of heart-shards and their associated motifs, with the specific elements that identify the motifs (where sources give different translations for the known heart-shard emotions I will provide both), I present the following:

1. Disappointment/Bitterness  --  Swan Lake: admittedly, this is mostly in the music and “set design” of the episode which, along with the short-lived (one-sided) dancing rivalry between Anteaterina and Rue, are probably mostly meant to serve as a introducing the central motif of the show.  Additional possible foreshadowing of the thematic conflict between Ahiru/Tutu and Rue/Kraehe later on, though this claim is much more tentative.

2. Loneliness  --  Hansel and Gretel: a house in the woods, a story revolving around food, fear (though here ultimately unfounded) of being eaten

3. Sorrow/Sadness  --  Giselle: taken directly from the ballet, which itself draws from the folklore of willis/vilas that, depending on the tradition, are variously described as ghosts, fairies, nymphs, etc.  I’d also like to point out that the design of the willis fulfills the visual requirements of the White Lady of so many European (and Euro-influenced) countries.

4. Affection  --  Not a single tale-type, but calls upon a conglomeration of magical light folklore, i.e. will-o’-the-wisps (leading people astray, as the Lamp’s riddles led Ahiru not so much astray, but certainly to where the spirit wanted her), the genie in the (oil) lamp, etc.  (I also recall someone once posting about an Andersen tale in which an old street lamp reminisces on all the things it’s seen in its life, much like the Lamp-spirit.  However, while a strong argument can certainly be made for this story being the inspiration for the Lamp, it’s a pretty obscure one from HCA’s repertoire, so I believe the strength of the lamp motif comes mostly from the examples I have highlighted.)

5. Fear  --  Sleeping Beauty: for obvious reasons.  (There are also shades of the Grimms’ “The Story of the Youth Who Went Forth to Learn What Fear Was,” but that’s a real stretch to fully justify, even for me.)

6. Curiosity/Desire for Knowledge  -- ??????

7. Devotion  -- “The Red Shoes,” Andersen: since the magical black pointe shoes Rue slips into seem to have a similar unsettling degree of autonomy to Andersen’s eponymous footwear.  The fact that they cause a transformation that slashes at Rue with thorny vines is also a nearly sadistic inversion (intentional or not, who can say?) of the Anderson story, wherein the sinful girl is at last relieved of her suffering when an angel, carrying a branch blooming with roses, finally grants her mercy and takes her up to Heaven.   I can also see possible shades of Pygmalion in Malen’s obsession with drawing Rue, though her fixation may be argued as serving more to highlight the themes of lack of control and destructive self-sacrifice implicit in the HCA tale, which I still see as the overriding motif here.

8. Regret  --  Cinderella: the episode musical motif, plus the element of the “ball,” or at least a gathering of multiple people (and crow demons?) in a single location.  Charon even plays the part of, first, the “step-parent” who refuses to let his ward attend that event, but eventually transitions into the role “fairy godmother” who furnishes the ward with the physical necessities he needs to go out and do what he wants.  (Amusingly, this makes Ahiru either a bait-and-switch/red herring Cinderella, OR makes her and Fakir a kind of composite Cinderella, each one fulfilling different aspects of the motif -- possible foreshadowing for later partnership, courage described as “two hearts as one,” etc.)

9. Love  --  The title of the episode introducing this heart-shard is “La Sylphide,” though it doesn’t have much in common with the eponymous ballet.  What it does have is the first very recognizable instance of full-on witchcraft in the show, which is undeniably a strong and instantly identifiable fairytale element.  The curse Rue places on this shard also positions her as the “false bride,” from such tales where one woman either kills, curses, or brings low and supplants a “true bride” in order to take that woman’s lover for herself.

10. Pride  --  The Flying Dutchman: In which a man is punished for his sins usually implied, and sometimes outright stated, to be a slight against God performed in a bout of hubris; and cursed to wander and/or continue their mortal duties without rest for all eternity.  Whether they were cursed with immortality or simply exist as spirits unable to enter Heaven or Hell varies between tellings, but the framework is essentially the same.  (This is almost certainly a later variant of a story type I would prefer not to call by name, but involves “Wandering”; though since that protagonist is always cursed with immortality and never becomes a spirit, it’s a tale-type that is at best tangentially related to the motif I’ve chosen anyway.)  

11. Hope -- Swan Lake; The Little Mermaid; The Ugly Duckling; etc.: for obvious reasons again.

Fairy tales and folklore rely heavily on patterns.  In adopting and adapting these stories to craft its own narrative, PT also inherits those formulas.  But the heart-shard of Curiosity does not fit the pattern --- in fact, it seems not to have parallels with any recognizable tale pattern at all.

What is particularly strange is the presence in the episode of many of the building blocks of a very famous folklore motif, and one made all the more conspicuous by its absence from the narrative.  That is: the motif of the ring in the fish.

As far as age is concerned this motif goes back a long way, along one of two variant branches.  One: the ring that is lost, despaired of, and miraculously returned to great joy (and often used as a token of recognition).  Two: the ring that is the catalyst, lynchpin, etc. of some undesirable future event, which the owner tries to throw away in an attempt to dodge destiny and which inevitably comes back to him, the ring here being a tangible reminder of the inescapability of fate.

Of these variants the first is by far the most common.  Arguably the most internationally famous tales of this variant is that of Solomon’s ring, which provides the basic structure many later tales of the branch: King Solomon’s (magic) signet ring was stolen by a demon and cast into the ocean, whereupon it was swallowed by a fish.  Years later, a fisherman caught a fish which was then cooked and served to Solomon, who cut it open to find his ring in its belly.  (The ring here also acts as an indisputable identifier of the true Solomon, who had been reduced to a pauper by the aforementioned demon after losing his ring, since the demon could shapeshift and had assumed the king’s form.  The retrieval of the ring restored Solomon to his true form, allowed him to vanquish the demon, and retake his rightful place as king.  Many ring-in-fish stories conclude with the ring acting as absolute proof of a character’s identity, often in a “recognition” or “reveal” scene.)

 In contrast to this story is that of Polycrates and his ring.  On the advice (and possibly prophecy) of the king of Egypt, Polycrates the tyrant of Samos is told to cast away that possession which he values post, lest his overabundance of success raise the ire of the gods and cause them strike him down.  Polycrates attempted to do so, casting into the sea his prized emerald ring, which caused him much grief.  However, not long after a fisherman brought a fish as tribute to the tyrant; when Polycrates had it gutted his ring was found in its belly, proof that he could not escape his disastrous fate (indeed, he was eventually overthrown and assassinated, possibly by being impaled and his corpse then crucified).

The object cast into the water (typically a piece of jewelry) varies depending on a story: a ring, a necklace, a bracelet, and anklet, etc., though I think the particular emphasis on encircling jewelry is an important detail.  Sometimes the object is simply a gemstone --- also important in this discussion, given the curiously jewel-like appearance of the heart-shards.  

In any case, the basic plot of “[thing] in water  -  [thing] in fish  -  capture of fish  -  [thing] back in hand” (or, even more simplistically: a valuable object lost in water and found later in an unexpected place), is found in sources ranging from Sanskrit dramas to Irish mythology.  Even Hans Christian Andersen famously refurbished it in his “Steadfast Tin Soldier.”  And speaking of Irish mythology, the Fenian cycle famously includes a tale about culture hero Fionn mac Cumhaill and the Salmon of Knowledge.  

(For the uninitiated:  A salmon ate nine hazelnuts that fell into the Well of Wisdom, gaining all the world’s knowledge, and the first person to eat of its flesh would likewise gain that knowledge.  The poet Finegas/Finn Eces, to whom Fionn was then a servant, caught the fish after many years and told Fionn to cook it while he attended to other matters, but not to eat it.  Fionn (surprisingly) followed this directive, until he poked at the fish to check its doneness and burned his finger in the hot fat --- a finger which he immediately stuck into his mouth to soothe, only to thereby ingest the drop of the salmon’s fat and gain the knowledge contained therein.  Upon learning of this, Finegas gave Fionn the rest of the fish to eat, and Fionn gained all the world’s knowledge.)

The motif of a fish associated with great knowledge lends itself well as a base element for a hypothetical holder of the heart-shard of Curiosity, especially when combined with that of the ring in the fish/returning ring.  The latter motif is essentially part of the episode anyway.  After all, there’s a clear instance of jewelry being cast into water --- when Ahiru throws her pendant (an encircling necklace) into the River so that she’ll no longer have to act as Princess Tutu and bring pain to Mytho.  While her necklace is never miraculously returned to her, she nevertheless recovers it, and so fulfills the bare-bones conditions of the tale type.  

The fact that this outcome was exactly what Drosselmeyer wanted would have paralleled the theme of inescapable fate we find in the story of Polycrates’ ring.  In doing so, it would have raised the stakes of one of PT’s central conflicts (do these people even have free will, and if they do can they exercise it successfully to escape tragedy?), making the push and pull that much more dynamic and the tension even more taut.  Because the returned ring motif would have (seemingly) implied an early answer:  No.  The “ring” always returns, and the fate it symbolizes is therefore set in stone.  It’s a pattern we’re all familiar with, even if our recognition of it isn’t always conscious.  But therein lies the problem.  For seemingly no reason, in this episode PT decides to disrupt the pattern.

These are the fairy tale element building blocks we have to work with in the episode:

Water

Something lost (two somethings, in this case: the necklace and the heart-shard; one is lost purposefully in the water, the other by happenstance)

The return of things lost

Later on (continuing into a couple of the following episodes), we are even given:

A recognition scene, brought about by the thing lost in the water

The heart-shard, once recovered and then stolen by Kraehe, leads to Rue’s eventual “recognition” of herself as Kraehe.  It keeps asking her who she is and why she wears black feathers, forcing her into a psychological conflict lasting two episodes.  Unlike a returned ring the heart-shard is not itself hard proof of her identity, but it nonetheless forces the question of identity to the forefront of Rue’s consciousness from the depths of her denial --- it is the catalyst of revelation, if not its direct agent.

(This isn’t even touching on Ahiru’s pendant becoming the element by which Fakir later identifies her as Princess Tutu, and which was also retrieved from the water.)

But, curiously, no fish to be found anywhere.  Very odd, considering that the fish is most often the narrative element that ties all the others together.  It’s the device that keeps the plot from stopping dead after the valuable “something” is lost.  

The closest we get is, well, Ahiru herself.  She is the one who retrieves her necklace from the River, after all.  One could say it’s also when she’s at her most fish-like, since it’s one of the few times we see her fully submerged in water.  But I find this an unsatisfying answer for the absence of the fish.  If nothing else, it lacks the gestative image of a shining ring (or necklace or jewel) sitting quietly in the cold of a piscine belly, generating all sorts of connotations relating to rebirth, fertility, protection, and so on.  While not strictly necessary to the function of a returning ring story, the image nevertheless strikes me as wonderfully evocative and symbolic, which may well account for so many returning ring tales coming down to us as ring-in-fish tales.  

No aquatic creature of any type is part of the encounter with the heart-shard of Curiosity.  (Unless we again count Ahiru, though her being in her mostly-human Tutu aspect --- the one most removed from her aquatic duck form --- strains this interpretation past the point of credulity in my opinion.)  Perhaps the most perplexing thing about this heart-shard is how the River itself is what holds it.  Not even a personification of the River, i.e. a nereid, nymph, kelpie, undine, rusalka, or a few dozen other types of aquatic folklore creatures.  Other aquatic animals were eschewed as well, though if the writers didn’t want to use a fish is would have still been a good opportunity to include a frog, already associated with retrieving golden balls from wells (speaking of valuable round things lost in the water).  And as far as I know, there just aren’t that many stories which feature sentient, non-anthropomorphized bodies of water; the element is obscure at best if it exists at all, certainly isn’t part of any recognizable tale types.  It does not fit the pattern presented by the other narrative building blocks.

It’s a conundrum I can’t quite parse.  If the writers were already including so many of the elements of a common and well-known tale type, why the glaring omission of the element second in importance only to the lost object itself?  The truth is, I don’t have any good answers.

I mean, I can still theorize of course.  For example, it’s entirely possible that the heart-shard was swallowed and held by an ordinary fish at some point (the show establishes that regular, non-anthropomorphic animals live in the town as well), but then the fish simply died and the heart-shard then reverted to the River.  The only problem with this theory is that there is absolutely nothing within the text of the show to support it, and in no way impacts the story we see play out in the show.

And so, what are we left with?  There’s a hole in the story structure with nothing to fill it; a fish story that, like all those tall tales that inspired the idiom, never produces a fish.  But perhaps that, itself, is the best conclusion we can draw from this incomplete tale; the definition of the colloquial “fish story”: a great big lie.  Whether as intentional foreshadowing or just a glitch of human error, by omitting the fish the show writers tipped their hand.  If a ring-in-fish story can so conspicuously become just a variety of “fish story,” then the credibility of all the fairytale structures we see in the show must be called into question.  If the fish is missing from its own tale type, what else might be missing?  If essential elements are missing from certain established story structures, how are those stories still progressing beyond their natural lifespan?  If fairytale plots, with all their adherence to patterns and formulas, are the “truth” of this reality, what might it mean when the pattern is so obviously disrupted?

If Drosselmeyer meant to trap a town in a fairytale for all eternity, he overestimated the sturdiness of traditionally oral story structures.  The tales they produce are narrative bricolage, held together with the spit and chewing gum of predictable conventions and the skill of the storyteller.  Lose one key element, and unless you can convincingly slot another in post haste the entire fabric of the story will unravel in your hands.  Drosselmeyer cast his Story’s net wide and strong, but I suspect even that turned out to be subject to degradation and decomposition.  Holes were inevitable.  This one was just big enough for a single fish to slip through, and with it the first hint about the truth of the Story, carried like a ring in its belly.

[dogmapod]

03 Santa Muerte

Hey folks, welcome to the show Dogma: A Podcast About Cults I’m your host Denis Ricardo.

This show is about cults. The origins, practices and abuses of cults. So, if you are uncomfortable with descriptions of sexual, physical and mental violence and abuse, this isn’t the show for you.

I’m gonna try to keep it light and fun, but this stuff can get pretty dark… so you’ve been warned.

Circa 1300CE, in pre-invasion Mexico, religion was very fluid. Different tribes such as the Mexica (also known as the Aztec), the Maya and the Zapotec had specific patron gods, but the pantheon was more or less the same and many religious practices such as human sacrifice and veneration of the dead spanned the different tribes and groups of people. Many of the gods came from the ancient Olmec, thought to be gods themselves by the contemporary Mesoamericans.

For the purposes of this show, I will be using the Nahuatl name of these deities as they are the most common. My apologies to the ancestors for my pronunciations. And my apologies to any Spanish speakers because of my pronunciations. One such deity is the goddess of the dead, Mictēcacihuātl, wife of the god of the dead Mictlantecuhtli. They were placed in the underworld by Quetzalcoatl after he created the world.

Mictēcacihuātl was believed to have been born and sacrificed as an infant, granting her the status of “Lady of the Dead.” She has typically represented with flayed body, muscle exposed, and her mouth open to swallow the stars.

Mictēcacihuātl’s worship, as well as the worship of the rest of her cohorts, abruptly declined once Hernan Cortez invaded and Catholicism spread throughout the region. The spread of the Word did change the religious landscape of the Native Mexicans. Instead of honoring the Mother God Tonatzin, she was replaced by La Virgen de Guadalupe, instead of offering prayers and sacrifices to the dead, the ritual was replaced with the novenario and dia del los muertos, The Day of the Dead.

It is believed that Mictēcacihuātl’s worship has continued on throughout these centuries almost in secret and has now become more present today as the cult worship and veneration of Santa Muerte.

Santa Muerte goes by many different names, Lady Death, Lady Bones, Black Lady, White Lady… and these names are used interchangeably by her followers as well as myself in this podcast.

Santa Muerte looks very different from her (potentially) previous incarnation as Mictēcacihuātl. Though she is still flayed, she is not muscle, but just bone. She dons a black robe, resembling a nun’s habit. She is typically holding a scythe, though it is not uncommon to see her also holding a globe, a scale (like Justice), an hourglass, a Christian cross or nothing at all and her hands together in prayer. Roses and owls are also a common motif in various depictions of her. It is assumed that part of her design is partially influenced by José Guadalupe Posada’s Catrina engraving, a female skeleton dressed in fancy clothing, which is often seen on Day of the Dead.

The first person to display a large public altar to Santa Muerte is a woman known as Doña Queta in the neighborhood of Tepito in Mexico City, a neighborhood known for its poverty and high crime rate. Brujo Negro, a worshiper of Santa Muerte, historian and seemingly the authority on Santa Muerte online, writes that his grand-aunt was a devotee of Lady Death as well, having a plastic effigy of Santa Muerte in her home in Mexico that she acquired in Los Angeles, dating Lady Death’s worship and mass-manufacturing of effigies much earlier than 2001 and outside of Mexico. R. Andrew Chesnut said in his book Devoted to Death: Santa Muerte, the Skeleton Saint that Santa Muerte is a syncretic blend of the European depictions of the Grim Reaper and Mictēcacihuātl, a hypothesis that Brujo Negro agrees with, though there is almost no information corroborating this. There is also the possibility she has West African influences, as Mexico had the largest slave population in the New World at one point and their practices are major components of Voodoo, Candomblé and Santería, all syncretic blends of Native, African and Europeans spiritualities and all having death motifs in their practice. The truth is, there is no consensus on her origin, but we do know that her popularity has grown in recent years.

There is no one way to honor Santa Muerte. Her followers either will pray to her like she is a Catholic saint, asking for guidance and protection. Others, like Brujo Negro, view her as a goddess and worship her. In both cases, offerings are often placed at altars of her.

“…she is offered food, candles, tobacco, prayer and an unwavering faith.”

Various different colored statues and candles with Santa Muerte’s visage will grant different things to the devotee, according to Brujo Negro. Black is for cursing your enemies, red is for love and sexual desire and white is for cleansing and good luck. I have a white Santa Muerte candle and I can say that she really hasn’t done much in the way of luck for me but, perhaps it’s because I have not offered anything to the Lady.

There is no question that her veneration is considered brujería, the Spanish word for “witchcraft.” In this sense, witchcraft is less of the European view of witchcraft and it is more closely related to folk magic and shamanism. These shamanic people are either called chamanes, curanderos or brujos.

Because of her ties to witchcraft, she is condemned by the Vatican. They warn against praying to her and saying she is a demon. Father Gary Thomas, a Vatican-trained exorcist for the Diocese of San Jose said in an interview with Catholic News Agency,

“I have had a number of people who have come to me as users of this practice and found themselves tied to a demon or demonic tribe.”

But what does venerating Santa Muerte do for her devotees?

“There are rituals for prosperity, success in business, justice (court case), protection from harm, protection from enemies, spiritual cleansing/healing, attraction of a lover, the return of a lost love, domination, even curses against enemies, the reversal of curses to name a few.”

Brujo Negro asserts that it is a myth that in order to get a blessing from Lady Death, she will take the life of someone in your life.

Various Catholic news outlets and Chesnut report that her worship is closely tied to criminality. Altars dedicated to her are reportedly found in prison cells and is commonly worshiped by both inmates and prison guards.

Other practitioners are members of various drug cartels and there has been one known human sacrifice in her name. The sacrifice was carried out by Silvia Merez and her son Ramon Palacios, both leaders of a Santa Muerte cult. They and six of their followers performed the ritual sacrifices of a woman and a 10-year-old boy in 2009, and another sacrifice of a boy in 2010. Police officers in the state of Sonora reported that the victims’ blood was drained from their bodies and poured over an altar  of Santa Muerte holding a scythe.

Merez said of one of the sacrifices,

“We all agreed to do it. Supposedly she [one of the victims] was a witch or something.”

As of 2019 there have been no other reported human sacrifices to Santa Muerte.

Her worship reportedly has also been tied to sex workers, though I would like it to be known that this podcast believes that sex work is legitimate work.

Brujo Negro asserts that the tie to criminals is an exaggeration,

“…it is true that such people do revere her such people do not make the majority. Remember that the faithful come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life.”

One example is the LGBT community.

A side note— I will be using the phrase “LGBT” and “queer” interchangeably for the entirety of this podcast if the phrase comes up. I understand that “queer” is not fully accepted by the community and I understand that it can and still is viewed as a slur. However, it is the proper academic term and I am an academic of gender and sexualities in minority communities, so I will be continuing in the use of “Queer.” If that is bothersome to you, then I don’t know, listen to another podcast.

OK, back to the show.

Her Queer following seems to be mostly outside Mexico. One of the more prominent Queer practitioners is Steven Bragg, a gay white man in New Orleans. The public shrine in his home draws mostly middle-class and college educated gringos, though there are Latinx practitioners among them. They pray to her, reciting the Lord’s Prayer and three Hail Marys… add an Act of Contrition and it’s like you’re back at confession on a Saturday.

Bragg left the Pentecostal faith because of the rejection he felt as a gay man. He was introduced to Santa Muerte by a friend when he graduated college and has been a practitioner since.

“When I ask her to do something for others or for myself she does it really fast … she’s the quickest and most powerful.”

Another important figure in evangelizing Santa Muerte in los Estado Unidos is Arely Vasquez, a transgender woman who is thought to be the person to bring Lady Death to New York City. She grew up in Mexico, feeling alienated because of her gender identity. She later moved in with her aunt where she learned of Santa Muerte and became a devotee. In the 1980s she moved again to New York City where she had other family members. She credits her faith in Santa Muerte for helping her, a transgender Mexican woman who spoke no English, with giving her the strength and courage to immigrate. She now has a public shrine to Lady Death in New York City.

Even outside the sphere of Mexico and Doña Queta Santa Muerte is venerated. Queer new age and neo-pagan groups in Australia and the UK are said to worship her and she has a particularly strong following among bakla and gay men in Manila. Yashagaro Hasegawa, the leader of the devotees of Santa Muerte in the Philippines told the blog Dead Maidens,

“Santa Muerte does not discriminate. I feel discriminated in Filipino society. There is the idea of making fun of the gay [sic] here in the Philippines. There are rules in the Asian culture [sic] so I have to be careful because of jobs, and I have to be respectful, to be on the safe side. Also when I’m out at night with the boys I feel her black robe protecting us from dangers in the street.”

This isn’t to say that her veneration by Queer people in Mexico is not present. Santa Muertistas can be found holding statues of her during Pride parades, with their saint clad in a rainbow robe. The Iglesia Católica Tradicionalista mexicana-estadounidense, an unrecognized religious organization that broke away from the Catholic Church in Mexico venerates Santa Muerte, performs religious same-sex marriages for its followers, invoking her name. Doña Queta’s protege who is going to succeed her after she dies, is gay according Dead Maidens.

Another side note — Santa Muerte’s veneration by queer people and their role as leaders of the faith is no surprise. I won’t get into it much here, but third-gender and people who we would now today recognize as queer have almost ubiquitously been tied to shamanism, occultism and spirituality. From the mahu, two-spirit, fa’fafine, bakla, hidra… and so many others, we have bridged that gap between the material and spiritual (Oh, did I just out myself?). I won’t go into it more here, but maybe a podcast about the ties between queer people and spirituality will be something for Patreon donors.

OK, now, back to the show.

One thread that ties all of Santa Muertistas together, LGBT, criminals and sex workers, is their alienation from “civil” society and the Catholic Church. Santa Muerte is said to have no judgment of her followers. All are free to worship at her feet and be protected by her black robe. Death watches over all of us.

“…death is the ultimate destiny of all living things and you can not take away life from death. All mortals must answer to death, this is well addressed in the prayers of the Novena de la Santisima Muerte that express death’s supreme influence over our destinies as mortal beings. In essence this power is not limited to human life but ALL LIFE all things must die so death has great power over all life.“

Eventually, we all die, giving all rungs of the societal ladder a form of equality in the end.

Now here comes the fun part, where I beg you for money. I come to you hat in hand, asking you to go to patreon.com/dogmapod and throw a few dollars my way to help support the podcast, I really do need the money to keep the lights on. I can’t offer much for tier rewards, but no matter what level you donate at, I will get the episodes out to you early and you can have access to the joke/pop culture cult podcasts and non-cult related articles and podcasts that don’t quite fit with the format. At higher donations, I will take suggestions for cults and do an episode on those. Thank you so much if you decide to be ever so gracious. OK, now back to the show.

Is worship of Santa Muerte a cult? Yes, definitely. Though, not in the way that we think of a group like Scientology, but by the other definition of a cult: veneration of a particular figure. This is not unlike Mictēcacihuātl’s worship in pre-Columbian Mexico. Worship of death, sacrifice and the macabre has been consistent among the Mexican people and Santa Muerte is just the modern-day manifestation of this.

Thanks so much for listening. This was our episode on Santa Muerte. I wanted to cover this particular cult because of its tie to the queer community and this is Pride Month. I had a lot of fun researching this, listening to corridos and indigenous music while writing the script. I realized that the traits indicative of corridos and mariachi such as a wavering voice and the gritos (which I can only do after a few drinks) can be traced back to Indigenous Mexican music, and this says nothing of the African influences on Mexican art, music and dance. It’s nice to know that the black and brown ancestors have survived in some way post-colonialism.  

I’m going to put all of my sources in the description. Some of them are from Wikipedia, but I checked to make sure those sources were legit, so lay off me. It should be noted, because of the lack of organization in the cult worship of Santa Muerte, many of my sources are blogs. Some of the writers such as Brujo Negro cite their sources while others do not. I don’t think this effects the validity in the claims of what Santa Muerte can and cannot do for her devotees however, so their holistic writings feel like they’re  legitimate in this case.

Next time we’re going to look at a surprisingly popular cult. Its number of followers is small, but it has reached out to people at least eight or so times since 2005 in different parts of the world. And at the center of all of it was a conspiracy and bioterrorism.

Until then, take care and goodbye.

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Aztecs

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sacrifice_in_Aztec_culture

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aztec_religion#Cosmology_and_ritual

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-Columbian_era#Mesoamerica

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditionalist_Mexican-American_Catholic_Church

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novena#Regional_practices

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Muerte

https://www.brujonegrobrujeria.com/page/page/2215114.htm

https://web.archive.org/web/20120402221717/http://articles.cnn.com/2012-03-30/americas/world_americas_mexico-human-sacrifice_1_santa-muerte-human-sacrifices-saint?_s=PM:AMERICAS

https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/765864/duterte-backs-gays-in-brawl-vs-pacquiao

https://edition.cnn.com/2019/06/02/asia/philippines-duterte-gay-intl/index.html

https://www.rappler.com/newsbreak/inside-track/231882-duterte-implies-being-gay-is-disease

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-17570199

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/have-you-heard-of-saint-death-dont-pray-to-her-38884

https://deadmaidens.com/2017/02/15/sex-death-santa-muertes-strong-lgbt-following/

https://www.cnn.com/2017/03/30/opinions/believer-reza-aslan-santa-muerte/index.html

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/growing-devotion-santa-muerte-u-s-abroad-n275856

The African Roots of la Santa Muerte - Jessica Kindrick

https://www.jstor.org/stable/24394940

https://www.jstor.org/stable/41336081

https://www.jstor.org/stable/41933902

https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt13x1rqh.15

https://www.jstor.org/stable/23722457

“Latin America” Dark Tourist, Netflix

Music credits:

“Frozen Jungle,” “The Upside Down World,” “She’s gone” and “Fight the apocalypse but before a quick nap” by Monplaisir under the name Komiku http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Komiku/

“‘The Fire dance’ performed by Aztec artists” video by MissGardenGG1, performance by Company Tenochtitlan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BZ5Jm8pC_g

“Tu solo Tu” performed by Corozo y Su Cuarteto and Felipe Valdes Lopez https://archive.org/details/78_tu-solo-tu_corozo-y-su-cuarteto-felipe-valdes-lopez_gbia0022646a

“Aunt Hagar’s Blues” performed by Lu Watter’s Yerba Buena Jazz Band https://archive.org/details/TraditionalDixielandGeorgeBrunisAndHisJazzBandThatDaDaStrain/Traditional+Dixieland+-lu+watter+s+yerba+buena+jazz+band+aunt+hagar+s+blues.mp3

“Nueva Era (versiòn sorta - short version)” by Xiuhcoatl https://archive.org/details/TFR959-Xiuhcoatl-XiuhcoatlEP/04-NuevaEraversinCorta-ShortVersion.mp3

[paulriedelposts]

Neues Rathaus, Architecture, Construction and Concept

Neues Rathaus, The New Town Hall is one of the most popular architectural designs in Bavaria. Its location in Munich is towards the northern part of the famous Marienplatz square. The hall hosts notable events such as council meetings and musical concerts. Neues Rathaus is a rich detailed architectonical work, and you will have the best of time touring this great showplace. However, before you visit, there are many things you should know about Neues Rathaus. 

Neues Rathaus Construction

Prior to the construction of Neues Rathaus, there was an Old Town Hall known as Altes Rathaus. Inadequate space in the Old Town Hall led to the construction of Neues Rathaus. After the decision to build a new town hall, Marienplatz was elected as the proper construction site. Georg Hauberrisser supervised the design of the first building. The construction took place between 1867 and 1874. There was a need for subsequent expansion since the building could not contain the administration at that time. To get enough space for this new building, the administration had to buy properties around Dienerstrasse and Weinstrasse regions. Georg Hauberrisser also designed Rathaus expansion in 1887. The latest design incorporated four complexes. This occupied the whole North side of the Marienplatz. Further constructions after this were the erection of a new tower, keystone construction, and repairs after World War II. For the construction of Neues Rathaus, Georg Hauberrisser got his inspiration from the famous Brussel’s Rathausturm. Jan van Ruysbrieck, a belgium architect, was the mastermind of this design in 1449.

Building Concepts

Neues Rathaus contains construction material such as  stones and bricks. The tower is one of the masterpieces of this building. Its height is about 85 meters; you can get there with the elevator designed to meet modern standards. Reaching the top is a complete fun, and tourists look forward to this. From there, you can enjoy magnificent sights of the Marienplatz and a great view of the whole of Munich city. Before getting to the top, there is the 3rd floor of the building. This is the most important part of the Neues Rathaus. It has a very spacious area where most of the important events take place. Third-floor is also one of the most attractive parts of the building. The walls are adorned with beautiful designs and the original canvas of famous Munich artist, Carl Theodore Pilotis. There is also another room in the building designated for the display of artworks. This room looks like a mini-museum. It has top-notch designs with art carvings and gems all around. The second floor of the building is where you will find the Neues Rathaus library. It is a very big library with numerous book sections. Like every other part of the town hall, the library is well designed with quality materials.

Rathaus Glockenspiel Clock

This could arguably be the most interesting and famous feature of the Neues Rathaus. Located on the main building’s tower, the Rathaus Glockenspiel is a distinct feature of Neues Rathaus reconstruction. People gather around the Neues Rathaus to watch the play performance of the clock every day. The Rathaus Glockenspiel display twice a day when it chimes at 11 am and 12 pm. These stories are ancestral tales from past centuries. Rathaus Glockenspiel has more than 40 bells and over 30 human-sized figures used for this display. There are 2 halves of Rathaus Glockenspiel, each half its own story. The upper half displays a friendly battle in honor of the famous marriage of Duke Wilhelm V and Renata von Lothringen. There are 2 team battle knights of the human-size figures.. The first team with blue and white colors represent the Bavaria Knights. The second team in red and white colors represents the (bad guys) Lothringen Knights. At the end of the battle, the Bavarian knights are usually victorious. The second chime commences the second display in the bottom half of Rathaus Glockenspiel. The story is about the traditional coopers’ dance in Munich. The dance is a culture that has been practiced for generations in Munich. The dance started as a result of a plague that affected the people of cooper from 1515 to 1517. Due to this, they invented this dance to help take their minds off fears from the plague. They believed that dancing helped them through this difficult period. Since then, they have performed it every seven years in the city of Munich. The next one is in 2026. Each of these shows last a period of 12 to 15 minutes based on the sound scheduled for that particular day. To bring the show to an end, a large cock at the top of the Rathaus Glockenspiel would crow thrice.

Rathaus Glockenspiel Construction

Again, Georg Hauberrisser is the brain behind the design of Rathaus Glockenspiel. In fact, the idea of incorporating a clock into the Neues Rathaus building was his. Karl Rosipal's first donation is for the first set of human-size figures to play performance. However, there is more to this. The administration decided that they do not want to have the participation of a Jewish man in the construction of the Rathaus Glockenspiel. Unfortunately because of the Jewish descendants, Karl's donation is being refunded to his family in 1934. During World War II, Rathaus Glockenspiel got small damage. Hence, it's usage got casually in the ensuing years. During those periods, it underwent necessary repairs to bring it back to a better state. The next repairs of the Rathaus Glockenspiel took place in 2007 prior to Munich’s 850th anniversary. They got rid of the bells and human-sized symbols, cleaned, and the bad ones got recovery. Also, other parts of the clock like the bell holder, springs and steels got new looks. This maintenance cost about 750,00 Euros, of which 650,000 Euros is donation from Munich’s citizens.. The German Foundation for Monument Protection (Deutsche Stiftung Denkmalschutz) gave the additional 100,000 Euros. For the summer Olympics in 1972, the clock chimed at 12 pm and 5 pm instead of the normal time of 11 am and 12 pm.

The Night Watchman and The Guardian Angel

Another common tradition of the Neues Rathaus is the watchman. At night around 9 pm, a beam of light shines on the 2 sided window. The watchman always roams the left side. Dressed in a loose garment, he usually carries his lamp and horn. In this period, Rathaus Glockenspiel plays some nice tunes. The first one is from the award-winning movie Die Meistersinger von Nuremberg. He then wraps it up with the lullaby song of Johannes Brahms. After this, the guardian angel returns to the tower, and then it’s time for light out in the Neues Rathaus. This is how the city of Munich is being put to bed by the New Town Hall every night.

The Rathaus Glockenspiel Gallery

Above the huge clock is the Rathausturm gallery which you can access  with the lift. The gallery’s sight is astonishing, especially on a bright sunny day. Some of the beautiful views to enjoy include the Holy Spirit Church, the Talburtor, the whole of Marienplatz, St. Paul’s church, etc.

The Town Hall Facade

Town Hall St. Johann, the town hall facade, is a striking resemblance of the Neues Rathaus. Georg Hauberrisser is also responsible for the architectural design of the Town Hall Facade. Since there was only 1 design for Town Hall St. Johann, it has a more balanced look than the Neues Rathaus whose construction spanned 3 periods. Hauberrisser combined various sections of buildings, with different heights, for the town hall facade. He made use of facade claddings and designs extension to come about this. People are comparing the works from Hauberrisser with the ones from Friedrich von Schmidt, who is his teacher. Friedrich von Schmidt built Viennese Town Hall as well as its facade. Hauberrisser usage of various decorations, features, balconies, and claddings gave his designs more life and made them look intriguing. His works were also linked to those of Zentralblatt der Bauverwaltung in Berlin. His creativity and how he designed the Town Halls to fit the city of Munich looked similar to the works of Zentralblatt der Bauverwaltung.

Neues Rathaus Reconstruction after WWII and the American Contribution

Neues Rathaus suffered damages during the airstrikes of World War II. After the war, there was a need for a rebuilding process. During this period, an additional floor rose upon the Neues Rathaus. Before the end of the 90s, the rebuilding process was fully completed with the help of American donations. The windows design contains motifs from religion, cultural, international and regional background. Although these got torn apart towards the end of World War II, they were all restored during the reconstruction process.

Monuments in the Neues Rathaus

Neues Rathaus buildings statues are made from mainly bricks and limestone. Built on a landmass area of 9159 meters square, the whole building covers about 77% of this land area. The free areas are well decorated to meet the taste of the Neues Rathaus. There are various monuments in the Neues Rathaus. Just in the middle of 2 complexes in the Marienplatz, there is a statue illustration of Prince Regent. Other monuments include those of the four earliest kings and founders Munich, a water fountain, and many other historical illustrations.

More Features of the Neues Rathaus

The rooms in the new town hall are 400. Behind the main building that faces the Marienplatz is a park known as Marienhof. Here, the basement is home to the famous Ratskeller restaurant. The restaurant is always busy with tourists trooping in and out every day. The last floor has a lot of rooms rented out as shops to petty traders. This is where you can get your goods as a tourist. Also, this floor houses the visitor center office where you can make various tourist inquiries. On the first floor, is probably the largest balcony you have ever seen. This place hosts elaborate events like concerts, award presentations, etc.

Events in Neues Rathaus

The Neues Rathaus hosts most of Munich’s major events. There are various rooms for this purpose. There is a conference room for events like the city council. The hall also houses various fragments of the city’s administration and also the Mayor’s office. The Mayor’s office location is underneath the Rathaus Glockenspiel. Looking at the huge clock from this position is a very beautiful sight. The town hall is also hosts musical concerts, award ceremonies, various kinds of receptions and sports team meetings.

Do you want more?

So there you have it. You are definitely in for a fun time in the Neues Rathaus. It is such a huge place, so you have to schedule the tour carefully. Don’t worry about that, with me you would have the best tour possible. Finally, don’t forget to bring your cameras along, you can take amazing pictures here!

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[mianmimi]

Emilie Autumn anon here. Haha, yeah, I know her music’s not for everyone. If you only liked Castle Down and weren’t too keen on Liar, then it’s likely you won’t enjoy her Opheliac or Fight Like a Girl eras, FLaG characterized by harsher sounds compared to her Opheliac era, though ironically the lyrics are focused on recovery and not as rage-filled as in her Opheliac era (her Opheliac era can be triggering for survivors of sexual assault, btw, as she is explicit about her own experience and suffering and doesn’t mince words when she calls rapists out, Liar is from this era). However, you might like stuff from her Enchant era, when she was pop baroque-ish and indie and sang about fairies and knights and Shakespeare characters. Maybe you’d enjoy songs like:

  Chambermaid: That moment when she sings “Tell me what I have to do to make you understand it’s a lost cause, lover” / “Hold me close when you were thinking of her” / “I don’t want to hear you say you love me” / “You’ve been gone such a long time won’t you tell where” / “Before I have to see this face I once adored” KILLS me with strordo feels. And it fits what you did with Misery Loves Company. Less a character’s thoughts and more like a dialogue between Mordo and Stephen. I also love the potential drama found in Stephen and Mordo fucking during Stephen’s time in KT, with Mordo knowing that Christine means something to Stephen yet not knowing exactly what, and thinking that Stephen is not attracted to him and just using him as a port in a storm while thinking of Christine. But Stephen’s just thinking of Mordo, probably in an incoherent inner monologue that’s pretty much Why is the world’s most beautiful man taking my dick??? *gives self a mental high-five*

  How Strange: Or as I like to call it, Emilie Autumn’s first and last foray into the uncharted lands of R&B lol

  Juliet: A song about *drum roll* Romeo and Juliet. She manages to make it sweet yet at the same there’s an undercurrent of “oh shit something’s about to happen” because... you know. Spoilers for all five people that don’t know but Romeo and Juliet die at the end. I love it mostly for the violin solo at the end. Emilie is quite the accomplished violinist and when she throws those violin solos it’s fucking awesome.

  Let the Record Show: You won’t enjoy this one, probably lol But for anyone interested in both Emilie and those songs I was going to use for that Karl Mordo Can’t Stop Falling for Problematic Men mix, this is one of them. It’s prime post-DS Mordo. “If I’m going down then I’m going down good” / “If I’m going down then I’m going down clean” / “If I’m going down then I’m going” / “The prettiest wretched whore you’ll ever see”

  Opheliac: Same as above lol this song is the one that gives the name to an era. Same as above, this was part of the fanmix. “I’ve been so disillusioned” / “I know you’d take me back, but still I feign confusion” / “I couldn’t be your friend, my world was too unstable” / “I’m open to attack, but I don’t wanna hurt you” / “How could you possibly think you had the power to know how to keep me breathing?” / “You know the games play and the words I say when I want my own way” / “You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and they say I can’t stay” / “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy” / “And when there’s nothing more you can do, I’m gonna blame it on you” / “It’s not the way I wanna be” / “I only hope that in the end you will see”

  Mad Girl: Back to songs you might enjoy! lol This one is from the Opheliac era, actually, back when Emilie was obsessed with tragic women from fiction (mostly Shakespeare and Brit Lit) like Ophelia. For an Opheliac era song, its instrumentation is different and softly melancholic. Quick confession, this song always makes me cry. This one is also one of the songs for the aforementioned fanmix, because I will die before I stop referring to Karl Mordo as the classic-tragic-maiden-but-as-a-gay-man character that he is. “In all your fairytales, how did the prince say he loved you?” / “How did your father die?” / “Was he a good man?” / “My melancholy state, folly, fear, and hate, I know” / “My friend in this world is a bottle of nothing” / “Still I try, still I fall”

  Rapunzel: And we have arrived to the Enchant era! This song gives me sweet young Mordo staring out his window dreaming of his prince while stuck in Bavaria vibes. “If you sing loud and clear, someone passing by will surely hear you” / “No, you can’t be afraid”

  Rose Red: Another from Enchant. As you can tell, it’s vaguely related to Rose Red the fairytale. “Tell me no stories and I’ll tell you no lies” / “No one wants to hurt me but everybody tries” / “For this freedom I have given all I had” / “For this darkness I gave my light” / “For this wisdom I have lost my innocence” / “Take my petals and cover me with night”

  What If: This is peak Enchant era, imo. “I am far too tried to stay here” / “And I don’t care what you think of me” / “’Cause I think you were wrong about me” / “And what if you were?” / “What if I’m the kindest demon, something you may not believe in?” / “What if I’m a siren, singing gentlemen to sleep?” / “What if I’m a weeping willow, laughing tears upon my pillow?” / “What if I’m a socialite, who wants to be alone?” / “What if I’m an angel, without wings to take me home?” / “What if I’m a crowded desert, too much pain with little pleasure?” / “What if I don’t know who I am, will that keep us both from trying?”

  Special mention goes to Shalott, which I believe I already mentioned in the original post I made (or how I like to call it, Anon’s Evangelizing for Emilie Autumn lol), but I never added the lyrics that make go Mordo-bby-ilu-get-urself-a-good-man-ok. “She looks up the mirrored glass” / “She sees a handsome horse and rider pass” / “She says, ‘That man’s gonna be my death ‘cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life’” / “I know he doesn’t my name and that all the girls are all the same to him” / “So I’ll meet my death” / “But with my last breath I’ll sing to him my love and he’ll see my face in another place”

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Heya Nonny!

Oh wowowow! I’m listening to the song recommendations again right now. You hit the nail on the head with the songs I’d like more. I ended up listening to the Enchant album twice while the Opheliac album was very hard to get through, more so because of the subject matter though. It’s very raw and there’s a lot of pain and anger there. I don’t know much about the artist but I hope she’s recovering and is doing well now. Rape is a brutal experience and for her to share the emotions and thoughts she went through is extremely powerful and heartbreaking.

I actually really enjoyed “Shalott” and the acoustic version of “Mad Girl.” Her voice is super emotive and lively, raw with emotions. I can see why people can hear stordo, and more specifically Mordo in the songs.

“Juliet” has a gorgeous violin number at the start and throughout and it makes me think of Mordo playing the violin in his family castle, just thinking of the romances he used to read and how life is more tragic than romantic. T____T

“Chambermaid” really does give off the vibe that Christine’s still in the background of Mordo’s mind when he’s with Stephen. I also really enjoyed the fortune telling and card reading motifs of the song. It really needs to the magic aspect of strordo, as well as the ‘fated to meet’ aspect of their pairing.

“Rose Red” and “Rapunzel” give me youthful Mordo vibes. When he’s still hopefully and longing for the love found hia fairytales.

And okay.....I really, really fucking liked “How Strange.” Especially this part...

You know I think it's strange

Just a little bit deranged

That you think I'm gonna change to make you happy

If you can tell me why

I should wait around then I

May be coming down

But until then this means

You can see me in your dreams

Oh man that entire part makes me think of Mordo looking back at the night he walked away. He’s not gonna change just to make Stephen feel happy, and he’s asking why he should stay and wait. It’s so sad and I love it.

My favorite one amongst these songs though is....

“What If.” It’s honestly such a gorgeous song! Also a very vulnerable one.

And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore

And I don't care what you think anyway

'Cause I think you were wrong about me

Yeah what if you were, what if you were

And what if I'm a snowstorm burning

What if I'm a world unturning

What if I'm an ocean

Far too shallow, much too deep

What if I'm the kindest demon

Something you may not believe in

What if I'm a siren

Singing gentlemen to sleep

Ummmm....excuse me. That’s all Mordo to me. It’s heartbreaking, full of turmoil, full of brimming heartache and upheaval, like Mordo doesn’t even know who he is or where he belongs anymore. It makes me think of those months he spent away trying to figure it all out alone. Baby just....just please go home. Stephen’s waiting for you. Let him explain and make up for it baby ;____; Please

Thank you so much for sharing these recommendations Nonny! I’m not much of a rock or folk person. I’m actually realllly vanilla with my music taste, namely old power ballads and musical showstoppers hehehe. But that’s why I really appreciate it when people share different types of music with me! I enjoy discovering new things. And now I’m currently replying “What if” pretty much endlessly. I wouldn’t have discovered it if not for you. So thank you for sharing these Nonny!

[retireearlyandtravel]

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Zagorje Croatia, a Super Romantic Place to See in the World

For a beautiful day trip from Zagreb, take a drive northwards about an hour to the Zagorje region of Croatia. The area is full of rolling hills and vineyards, small quaint homes, medieval burgs, and castles. The best sights to see in this area are the city of Varaždin and Trakošćan castle. As you probably know when traveling, Keith and I often like to take private tours. Taking a private tour allows us a chance to get to know a local, the guide. We also like having enough time to ask all our questions, and we like having the option to stay longer or less at a particular place.

Zico Tours, Varaždin + Trakošćan Castle

The private tour we took to the Zagorje region, Varaždin and the Trakošćan Castle, provided by Zico Tours was fantastic. Our private guide, Dijana, met us at our hotel. She had an SUV and driver waiting. While our driver concentrated on the road our guide, Dijana, began informing us about the area we were going to visit.

Trakošćan, a True Fairy Tale Castle

First up on our agenda, Zico Tours took us to the 13-century Trakošćan castle. Trakošćan castle perched on a hill overlooking a park and forest is a fine example of a fairy tale like fortification. In the eighteen hundreds, the owners and residents renovated the castle developing the romantic park setting around the perimeter. In 1944 the owners were forced to emigrate to Austria. Soon after that, the castle became nationalized and is still owned by the Croatian government today. Today it is a museum available to tour with a knights room, hunting room, music room and more. All of the weapons housed in the museum were those used by the residents of the castle or their help. The piano from the first half of the 19th century located in the music room is extremely valuable.

Touring the castle is interesting and not to be missed, but the real jewel is seeing the castle from across the lake. Originally the castle had, Romanesque features but in the mid-19th century, restoration of the castle took place in the neo-Gothic style. The beauty of the castle today took shape in the 1800’s. Keith and I have traveled a lot and have seen our fair share of castles. The view of Trakošćan castle sitting up on the hill, across the small lake, surrounded by stately green trees is a real treat. This part of the Zagorje area makes you feel as though you are in fairy tale land. The setting is so romantic, idyllic and picturesque you will want to take photos there for hours. In fact, we have this picture below made into a piece of art for our living room.

830+ Year Old City of Varaždin in Zagorje

Next up we visited the very old yet very beautiful city of Varaždin. Because Varaždin is so charming and filled with Baroque architecture, it is often called little Vienna. This city dating back to the 12th century was home to some of Croatia’s wealthiest and also many artists. In the late 1700’s it was even the capital of Croatia.

Our first stop was in the old town where there is a real castle, complete with a drawbridge that leads directly into the main square. Varaždin is also a college town. Many people visit this lively destination for art exhibits, music, and flowers. Walking around the town, you truly feel like you are reliving a by-gone era. The architecture is stunning, the streets and walkways are artfully laid out with a sense of purpose as well as beauty. Everywhere you look, there is something picturesque to enjoy.

  Guilds from Many Years Ago Exist Today

Varaždin is like an outdoor museum, for instance, between buildings we saw small niches with beautifully carved figures. Many shops had old signboards like a mermaid, which our guide told us represented exotic imports back in time, spread over a Chocolate shop. On the side of a building, we saw an iron man which Dijana said meant it was a blacksmith’s shop and today is a hardware store. We also saw this cute turtle hanging outside a shop, and that Dijana said stood for a grocery store.

In Varaždin there are all these little surprises. While walking along some of the side streets, we came across what we think is a sundial painted on the outside of a wall. Varaždin is not just a tourist city; it is very much a lived in a city with a vibe that only college towns have.  Varaždin is such an amazing city that the New York Times voted it one of 52 Places to visit in its 2014 list.

Where the Angels Sleep

When people think of Croatia, they think of Dubrovnik and Split. But the inland city, in the Zagorje region, of Varaždin is one of the most well preserved and picturesque cities in the country. It is also the city where the angels sleep. Over thirty years ago a local artist, Željko Prstec began painting motifs of Baroque angels under the banner of “Varaždin: the City where Angels Sleep.” Since this time others have joined in to make Varaždin the city of angels. If you have a keen eye as you walk the streets and visit restaurants and shops, you will see that these fairy tale like angels are everywhere.

A Street Organ and Authentic Croatian Food

For lunch, our guide suggested Verglec restaurant. This restaurant was a real treat. The restaurant takes its name from the barrel organ, an example of which sits at the entrance. A barrel organ or street organ as you may be more familiar with is a  mechanical musical instrument consisting of bellows and racks of pipes housed in a case, usually of wood, and beautifully decorated. Wooden barrels inside the organ contain encoded pieces of music. The basic principle is the same as a traditional pipe organ, but rather than an organist playing, the barrel organ plays once a person turns a crank. Of course, with something so cool as this I had to try playing!

Once I was able to drag myself away from the barrel organ, we sat at our table. We sat in a section of outdoor tables on a patio with climbing roses. We ordered some wine and perused the menu.

Dijana said that Verglec is known for having the most authentic Croatian food in Zagorje. For this tour, our driver was Dijana’s husband, a well known Zagreb artist. I asked him what people of the Zagoje region would have eaten regularly 50 years ago, and he told me cabbage and pasta. As kids, he ate it all the time. I would never have put those two things together, but that is what I ordered. The dish came, and it did not look spectacular, but one bite changed all of that. It was delicious. I could see why this was a popular dish. It was simple, cost-effective and the seasoning used on this brought all the flavors together. Everyone at the table voted it the best dish of lunch.

Possibly Europe’s Oldest Town Hall

After lunch, we walked around Varaždin some more. Dominating the central square of Varaždin is possibly Europe’s oldest town hall. This once old stone house was given to the people of Varaždin in 1523 and has been the town hall ever since. The coat of arms displayed proudly above the door depicts the city in the hands of angels!  There used to be a market in front of the town hall, but today it is filled with summer terraces offering a bite to eat or a coffee.

Varaždin Catherdral

In the 17th century, the Jesuits built this beautiful baroque church, St Mary’s Assumption, but is today Varaždin Cathedral.

There’s the square of Traditional Craftsmen

We saw hats and crafts in the square of traditional artisans.

The Same for Centuries

Gajeva Street is a popular pedestrian promenade. The baroque facades of the many Varaždin buildings lining the street are spectacular. The front side of the many townhomes of Varaždin’s old streets are the same as they were a few centuries ago.

Zagorje offers so much to see and do while in Croatia. It is like a trip into fairytale land with its beautiful castles and fortresses. The lovely maintained baroque architecture of Varaždin will charm you. Then there is the gastronomy of Zagorje known for its aroma, rich tastes, and home to some authentic Croatian food. To experience a true Croatian holiday, you must visit Zagorje! And be sure to do it with a great tour by Zico Tours.

Check out our 4 minute video of the castles