#old man is tired

[bloodsoakedogre]

Kazan's in the mid ground of wanting to turn people into paste or being left alone.

Usually is wanting to turn people into smears on the ground.

[dasniichts-a]

"Welt if I ask y'real nice will y'feed y'er wife?"

"... I don't get why people really want me to feed them. Can I please just say no and be left alone about it?" Actually, he knows he'd just rather not say it out loud.

[avelera]

Y’know, I’m sure there’s a tactical reason that Old Man Wizard Viktor told Jayce to kill his cult leader younger self, probably something to do with reducing his strength so he had to rely on Ambessa to get him to the Hexgates because something something it somehow leads to Ekko being able to defeat him….

But I think it’s equally likely that Wizard Viktor told Jayce, “Yeah babe, the first thing you definitely have to do is merc my younger cult leader self before the battle, trust me it’s important.” Because in 999/1,000 universes, Jayce saw peaceful hippy cult leader Viktor with his soft voice and general sense of goodwill and yeeted himself so fast at becoming a cult member he broke the sound barrier, thus dooming the world.

[wishingstarinajar]

Old retired warlord doodles

[loveanddeepstress]

Slight spoilers, completely humor purpose cause it's funny.

Lads headcanon, what if we're astra's daughter and he just can't stand the idea of his child in a relationship.

"You can't fall in love with the god of the sea! He's a drama queen and all the way in the depths of lemuria!"

"Maybe some time in the mountains with my forseer will do you some good.... YOU CANNOT MARRY THE FORSEER NO MORE MOUNTAIN- I SAID NO MORE-"

"You know what, I think you should go learn some swordsmanship and what better place than philos? NOT THE PRINCE-"

"Look at all the beautiful flowers mc- mc? Mc- A MF DRAGON?!"

"Now, you're in a simple life now, no dragons, my forseer almost killed me, the sea god is supposedly dead and the prince is on a deepspace mission from philos, no dragons or nothing in this time period- PUT THAT POOR BOY DOWN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S BEEN-"

Hes just a tired overprotective dad.

[densewentz]

rookanis players: why isnt Lucanis' romance more passionate, more physical!! Why is he so subdued and quiet!! You barely even kiss!! Lucanis, fresh out of a year in a demonic torture pit, having just had one of his two remaining family members taken from him just as he's freed, almost losing Treviso to the elvhen gods which are a) apparently real and b) that he's apparently now responsible for killling and who, oh yeah, also is always literally on the brink of exhaustion because he can't sleep or his spite demon goes around causing mischief and sniffing people: rook, mi vida, please give me a break

[wolverinesprincess]

oh to curl up in logan’s arms as he hides you from the rest of the world 🫂

any version of him 🫂

[radiance1]

"I need to find my darling husband!" Said Danny, dressed to the nines in a very elaborate royal dress with a lot of jewelry running through the ballroom after having been on the opposite end of a very worrying phone call.

"Seriously, what do you even see in that mortal!?" Screamed an observant and Danny stopped and leveled them with a glare cold enough to freeze over an active volcano and sharp enough to cut through obsidian.

"He makes me laugh."

Unlike those dead suitors went unsaid, but everyone at the ball (read: search for a bride/groom for the royal ghostling) practically heard it anyways.

Meanwhile over in the land of the living

Okay so Jason may have messed up. Now you see, he hasn't seen his platonic husband for tax benefits in a while, and he's been very careful to not let his identity as the Red Hood slip up before . Not even once in their relationship.

(He's not counting the time his in-laws sniffed him out as a Crime Lord, because Danny never believed them.)

Now, it wasn't exactly his fault he slipped up. You try to fight off an entire group after being pulled up on out of nowhere on the phone while trying to hide said noises of fighting.

Who was he calling? Danny of course since he said he was away for business. What business? Never specified and Jason wasn't going to pry.

So now here he was, bound 'helplessly' as Jason Todd along with a few other random civilians. Which, like, rude.

Wasn't he already good enough for this ancient ritual or whatever?

You know, he really should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device" he got that one time. Which honestly he feels like he should be surprised that such a thing exists but considering it was from Bruce. Well.

He's not surprised.

Oh, there's the Justice League now. Shame, he wanted to knock out a few guys himself- Oh, now he's being used to summon a ghost from the Infinite Realms of Royal Lineage.

Yea he probably should have walked with that "Anti-kidnapping device."

Wait a goddamn-

Is that-

"My darling husband!" Danny shouted, scooping him off the circle and away from the head cultist and swinging him around. "You had me worried sick!"

Now, he should ask the question anyone would in this situation when finding out your best friend and platonic husband for tax benefits was apparently a ghost of royal lineage.

"Why're you in a dress?"

"Okay, first of all I rock this thing." Danny huffed.

"That you do." Jason agreed rather easily.

"Second of all, blame those guys over there." He jerked his head in the direction of two very green floating eyeball people.

Not the weirdest he's seen, honestly.

The Observants were whispering to each other and leveling them-Jason in particular-a look.

"Now as you can see, I already have a spouse and I don't need another!" Danny hugged Jason closer for emphasis and he took the time to whisper in Danny's ear. "Did you really marry me to play the husband card?"

"Well, yes." Danny agreed. "But also because of taxes, because I love you and you're my best friend."

"So, we're still done for watching that movie right."

"Obviously."

A pained grunt came from below them and they both looked down to see Batman standing over a very unconscious cultist and looking up at them.

Hm.

He forgot they were there.

"So," Jason began, staring Bruce straight in the eyes. Batman's eyes narrowed. "Don't suppose we can push that forward to right now?"

"Yea, sure why not I'm not doing anything important." Danny leveled the Observants a look, and before either they, Batman, or the Justice League could do anything they both disappeared.

[garlicsunshine]

hes having a day

(original photo of ryan and hugh below the cut)

[mischievous-thunder]

Logan: I've been meaning to ask you something...

Althea: What's the matter this time?

Logan: Is it... Is it gay if I-

Althea: Yes.

Logan: But you didn't even hear what I have to say, Althea!

Althea: I don't need to. Everything's gay if it concerns you and that idiot of yours.

[askchuuyanakahara]

LMAO DOES HIROTSU-SAN CARRY SHOPPING BAGS ON HIM CASUALLY?! Much respect, we love a resourceful man 💪💪

Hirotsu: "You never know when you might need a spare bag."

@bioluminescentcat

Hirotsu: "I believe they both had caught a terrible cold after."

Chuuya: "Hey, we were not 'playing'. We were competing! Competing!"

Hirotsu: "Ah, yes yes. Same thing with you two, really.."

Chuuya: "I don't want to have to think about it until later!"

Hirotsu: "Well, I cannot say I am surprised."

Hirotsu: "Although I would rather only have it every once in a while."

Chuuya: "I'll search up a recipe.."

Hirotsu: "Wait-"

Hirotsu: ".. of course he is."

[cursingtoji]

taking kakashi out for drinks and having him complain about his students and how tired he is then he’ll get drunk and invite you to his place but the second his body hits the bed even before you can take your top off he’s snoring so you try to make him comfortable removing his vest and headband thinking he’s deep asleep. before you can turn away he grabs you and pulls you down to lay with him.

“you mislead me with promises of sex” you complain but let him spoon you, “turns out you just wanted to cuddle.”

“what a jerk i am” he nuzzles on your neck.

“such a jerk” you pull the duvet higher.

[basil--and--sage]

Uncle Thorin headcanons nobody can dissuade me from, part 1:

(part 2)

he's a big old softie

whenever he gets up from his armchair he grunts like he is 500 years old (it started the second Fíli was born. Dís was horrified)

in the morning he does that weird dad cough thing

if you want something from him in the evening you better hurry. As soon as he's sitting on the couch for more than five minutes he falls asleep

Speaking of sleeping: he's an excellent nap partner. Just plop down next to him and put your head on his shoulder and have a good nap (he usually wakes up with Kíli snoring on his shoulder)

he keeps bitching about the humidity, because that's what gets you, not the heat!

he spends a fair amount of time at home walking around in a ratty undershirt, an old pair of shorts and tattered slippers he denies owning whenever they come up in a conversation

whenever Fíli and Kíli quarrel (like siblings tend to do) he watches in silence, because when he tries to mediate, both of them unite and turn against the poor fool (=Thorin) stupid enough to interrupt them (at least they are not arguing anymore)

his favourite activity is sitting on a bench with Dwalin, sharing a pipe and staring judgingly at everbody walking past them

he snores like a troll and denies it

at home he looses his pipe constantly

in the morning he spends an hour in the bathroom. He doesn't do anything in there, but it's the only time nobody bothers him. He's incredibly offended, when Fíli wordlessly hands him a bag with dried plums one day

he's not only nearsighted, he also needs reading glasses, which he denies. Coincidentally, he keeps having those weird headaches he can't explain. Don't try to point it out, he won't listen.

(tbc)

[rystiel]

idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼

[vinestaff]

i see

[sauronism]

all these vampires saying "come to me. come to me." how about you get a job in this godforsaken century. get away from my window.