You’ve heard of He Would Not Fucking Say That. Now get ready for: He Would Not Fuck Like That
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Anyways, I cannot fucking understate the psychic damage that is done by transitioning as a trans- masc while being a person of color.
People already didn’t listen to my opinion and boundaries before my voice and body started passing as somewhat male. But as I’ve started to pass, more and more often, my voice and opinions and boundaries are not only ignored; I’m treated as hyper-aggressive/hostile/mean, inagreeable, and stubborn.
Even by my loved ones and friends, they way they treat the words that come out of my mouth or words through text has changed.
When I cannot say “What you said/did hurt me and I need you to own up to that in some actually active way, or at least apologize.”without invoking white tears - when I cannot get upset over boundary crossing and being ignored without invoking anger about my “attitude”… How am I meant to exist safely?
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While I am glad people are beginning to acknowledge what intrusive thoughts really are I never see anyone discussing how it isn't JUST intrusive thoughts you can get, either. You can also get intrusive feelings and physical sensations that can range from making you mildly uncomfortable or worried to absolutely terrified about what this may mean for you. You can get unwanted urges that come suddenly and make you so fucking scared that you don't really know yourself like you think you do, or that you're going to lose control, or whatever else your fucked up brain can come up with. You can get unwanted physical arousal from something you're not attracted to. Like. groinal responses and arousal non-concordance have got to be the two worst fucking things to experience if your OCD focuses on sexual themes, i'm not even joking. And I wish more people in online spaces acknowledged that unwanted/intrusive physical responses are also a thing that can happen, and is just as terrifying as getting an unwanted image or thought in your head, and also means just as little about a person's actual desires or feelings as a thought does.
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thinking about sitting on my butch’s lap clad in nothing but panties and a t-shirt, maybe even their t-shirt. im kissing their neck, arms draped loosely over their shoulders. we’re passing a joint back and forth, low music playing in the background and fairy lights illuminating the space around us. your lips tease across my neck while i take a hit before pulling your head up to mine. i kiss your lips and blow a little bit of the smoke into your mouth. moments later, the roles reverse and my mouth is on your neck, nipping at your warm skin. you pull me up to your face, the soft touch of your lips melting my lips open, ready to shotgun your hit from the joint. the smoke flows into my waiting mouth before our lips connect on your finished exhale. we kiss and kiss, forgetting about the joint momentarily as i start to grind against you. the feeling of your warm body and skin against mine is electrifying my senses, everything heightened because of the joint. i break away from you for a brief pause, holding the joint between my fingers and bringing it to your lips. “uh uh pretty boy, we have to finish this yeah? wouldn’t want to waste it…” a coy smile pulling at my lips. you inhale the smoke deeply before gripping my hair and bringing my mouth to yours again to shotgun yet another hit. “who says you call the shots, hm?” you say before capturing my mouth with yours again, rough and urgent. i try to keep control, grinding deliberately on your thigh now. your one hand find my hips, rocking me back and forth, while the other brings the joint up to my lips. i inhale, holding it for a minute while i discard the end of it. your eyes lock into mine, my hips move rhythmically against yours, as i shotgun my hit to you. you inhale deeply before closing the small distance between us, kissing me. next thing i know, you’re slipping me off your lap and onto my back on the couch, the night only beginning
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okay my darlings, you know what time it is…..SURPRISE SONG GAME TIME!!! except this time it’s extra super duper special because this post is actually queued because today is MY SHOW 🤭🫶 aka it’s atlanta n3 therefore i am BEGGING you to manifest the absolute best of your best picks and leave them in the tags or replies for me to see later and then give you an internet smooch if you win 💗 HAPPY GUESSING
i’m going to guess my absolute dream combo of hey stephen and dorothea
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I don't use Facebook for anything except keeping in contact with our ferret breeder, who I've been talking to again to get (hopefully) another couple kits this summer. I also don't keep in contact with anyone I went to high school with--people who make up the majority of my FB friendlist.
So, in opening FB for the first time in years, I was extremely amused to find that a solid 1/4 of the people I liked enough to friend them on FB have come out as some flavor of trans. Some I suspected, some were a complete surprise. But they all look so happy now, and I'm so happy for them. <3
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I need to get that man pregnant
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for sure part of the reason i get so frustrated when people correct me on minor typos is like. i ammmm disabled. sometimes my motor control wonks up and ill miss keys on the keyboard or not click space properly and i usually catch it but sometimes i just dont and man.
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