#okay this gets better the longer I look | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

il3x · 1 year ago

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penumbra is an AMAZING name for glory girl/shadow stalker. i was gonna reblog the og post with 'shadowstar' because 1. antares and 2. it's a canon warrior cats name which I think is funny and appropriately cringe. but penumbra slaps so hard

terrible ship name generator activate

#they're now penumbra when I'm shipping them for reals and shadowstar/excessive force when I'm shipping them for comedic purposes #fuckigng choking at inborn as well sdfghyjki #queen regn-ant is fantastic #ANTARESTROGRADE #okay this gets better the longer I look #maybe colin/emma could be something like lies detected #CORDYCEPS HOLY SHIT. GALAXY BRAIN #most of these are just like haha funny but some are genuinely giving me ship ideas. not the ones i cited here but. some...

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sysig · 6 months ago

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CAN I DO ANOTHER ONE FOR THE MEME maybe DAX with yellow 1B just because i like seeing him cry lol. and maybe ZEX with yellow 4C? PAIN AND SUFFERING or yellow A2 lol i can't decide

Then perish (From here, meme still open ♥)

#My art #SCII #DAX #ZEX #Blood #Yes of course you can <3 #Why not all of the above!#Fun to do some liquid consistency comparisons - tears vs. blood! The latter much more viscous and stain-y #I enjoy both so much! DAX looks so strange all teary hehe <3 #What could cause him to cry so hard! I wonder :3 #Really is a shame there's a 15 hard limit now huh I'd love to just overload him with reacts pft #ZEX all covered in blood ♥ Brave heroic leader! Definitely not stressing out his subordinate(s) at all! :)#And him in that uniform <3 Shows off his arms! I have to I must #''Max is thin and waifish and has no muscle'' I am not looking I do not see #It doesn't have to be A Lot I just - enjoy drawing him with the tiniest itty bittiest of muscle okay It's Fun!!#I had a heck of a time on the angle of his face there - I'm going to blame being under the weather at the time lol #I'm better now and so is he! Good #Been having a bit of extra fun giving him slightly longer eyelashes as well haha ♪#Pretty face! And then when he's condescending and cold hehehe #Really went ham on the green in his hair for the last one lol #So tired of all this nonsense ♪ Get 'em ZEX! :D

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gingeredmink · 9 months ago

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Doing your best to stay positive and try to get better while watching your health slowly waste away and nothing ever making anything better is cruel and I would never wish this upon anyone.

#not art #rayns rambling again #im just. so tired of barely living and trying so hard to make things better #just to slowly watch the highs become just being okay #or even close to it #while being shorter and further apart while the lows are longer and more frequent #i hate watching myself get worse no matter what i do and nothing ever even giving the slightest hint of things looking up

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tjerra14 · 4 months ago

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sometimes I really wish there was a mandatory emotional support and grief counselling training course at uni the way that "pour distilled coffee over some sugary pills and prescibe those to a fictional cow" galenics session was mandatory

#idk. might help with the rampant mental health problems that have been known to be an issue among vets for years #but for some reason still have to be studied first before anything substantial can be done about it #of course this isn't the only factor leading to the scale of the problem.#but telling your students “oh yeah. you will be doing that btw” does not prepare you for #spending minutes and sometimes even hours with people who are about to lose their beloved pet #and guiding them through the process #or unload their entire trauma on you while you're just trying to treat their pet #the pets and the diseases and the figuring out what's wrong and how to make it better is the easy part honestly #at least i know what i'm doing there and if i don't i'll just ask a colleague or look it up #but people? people are hard.#and i suppose from their reactions i do reasonably well but more often than not i feel way out of my depth #always glad to have a coworker with me so i'm not alone #but it's still incredibly draining #and sometimes the weekends are barely enough to recharge #very glad to have two weeks off very soon #okay rant over i just needed to get this off my chest #gonna go and see if my bread has cooled enough to no longer be an injury risk now #vet med

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duckiemimi · 8 months ago

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heartbreak is when your therapist asks you to come back with homemade food the next session so she can taste your cooking but then discharging you twenty minutes later </3

#GUESS WHO'S MUCH BETTER NOW SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR THAT THEY NO LONGER NEED REGULAR AND SCHEDULED THERAPY!#somatic therapy is the best actually; i feel the most present in my body compared to how i've been the past half decade #this is corny but i'm allowed to be corny it's pride month okay #but thank you to everyone who sent kind messages to me in the beginning of the year! every one of them helped—#even if i didn't get to respond! i'm looking through my inbox and i'm just smiling because oh wow people can be so kind 😭#but yeah! long way to go from here bc i fucked up and did something really stupid among the other stupid things i did #but i mean i made it this far HAHA considering the petty injuries i've gotten this year i'm still alive so!#anyway! happy pride! and be careful out there!#especially to my people who can't quite be out yet! be careful but don't be ashamed!

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byanyan · 1 year ago

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anyway, since I didn't share a pic earlier..... space byam

#I tried ok. I Tried.#I have some adjustments I wanna make but overall I think they look okay??#it really doesn't help that the expression is just blank bUT WE DO WHAT WE CAN #unfortunately the longer hair looked Awful so. this was the next best choice #but u can see the earrings this way so it's a win imo #....i gave them a tattoo too but I realize now u can't see it. it's on the other side of their face adjgjsg #maybe I'll try to get a cap with better lighting when I play again tomorrow lmao #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

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cuteniaarts · 9 months ago

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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

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vampiremourning · 2 years ago

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#anyway the most exciting conversation I had today was explaining how I managed to fuck up the dog’s haircut #(he’s squirmy that’s it that’s the reason)#moving on though the main issue is I still need like. the crutch of being online almost #and I guess even though it feels awkward and lowkey uncool I’m glad there are apps for people just looking to find friends #downside is I can forget they’re there bc the notifs don’t work great #or I panic because I’m too hyper aware of myself with new people. why can’t this be easy what’s wrong with me #I get embarrassed by how much longer my replies are than the other person’s #I can’t help it I guess #if it’s short I feel like it’s coming off inauthentic so I overcorrect #but then conversation kinda fizzles anyway. which is okay! not everyone will be a winner and that’s fine #I know this and it makes me feel slightly better #still I just feel like. dumb I guess. in all these interactions.#that’s the word. because I’m perfectly comfortable with myself until I feel like i start to notice That Change in someoneone #anyone else who gets told they give off Uncanny Valley energy knows what this is.#like I can tell I did something wrong but on paper I did everything right #and I just kinda fold every time. bc there’s usually no salvaging a conversation past that point.#it’s Not that it’s easier to be alone bc I’m not having a good time clearly but something drives me to keep going despite it all #idk it’s stupid I wish I could just cut this feeling out and detach completely #I know it wouldn’t bother me to be pushed slowly away at least.#I’d really be the person who solved the lament configuration just to Hang Out lmao #I wish I didn’t make posts like these here btw.#that also makes me feel dumb but it’s like if I don’t at least put this down somewhere it’d be worse #I think tomorrow I’ll clean a bit. it’ll be something to do that has a visible result.#not like anything else that’s going on lol

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salsflore · 2 years ago

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ummmm

#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative #cw vent #you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so #but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but #my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all #i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me #i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though #so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol #everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit #i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden

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mcbitchtits · 2 years ago

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nazis wear red,

but punching gets blue,

adventure is back (!)

so i’ll see you in june.

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I only did one this year! So please enjoy all the rest and ignore that one joke I accidentally did twice in this whole shebang

2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014

#the longer i look at this. the closer it gets to becoming a sailor moon wand #[insert raiders of the lost ark magical girl transformation sequence]#(it's the angel at the end? L M A O)#OKAY HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Y'ALL I HOPE YOURS WAS BETTER THAN MINE #NEXT YEAR: NEW MOVIE. NEW VALENTINES. NEW LOWS OF COMEDY AND HUMOR #indiana jones #raiders of the lost ark #valentine's day #holidays #ten years of this i think i've earned a break #(/forgot valentine's day was this week)

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maxwelljacobfriedman · 1 year ago

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I was today years old when i found out cora jade used to be elayna black

#and now she looks like a clone of mandy rose #... obviously people are free to do whatever they want and it's gross to be like #ugh natural is so much better i must inform this person on their soc med that i no longer find them attractive #but ignoring that while the demands and pressure put on appearance is extreme for all wrestlers #it's overwhelmingly women who get plastic surgery #and it overwhelmingly flattens features towards sameness #because it tends to be the same procedures with the same conventional goals #i think it's okay to find it a bummer #while understanding how it can benefit someone's career and self esteem

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dan-crimes · 2 years ago

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Nuh uh uh *shakes my little finger* you will not get me Sonic franchise you will NOT get me invested into all this my dear buddy pal I've always enjoyed seeing you around but I will simply continue being a bystander just watching as it all goes by bcuz I know how it'll go if I actually get into all this

But also if I get bored I might get into it anyways it's mostly just a silly rule I put for myself cuz I know it would be a lot of work to catch up and I would prolly end up wanting to play some of the games if I got into the franchise but I'm not a gamer @ all so

#I say as my blog is primarily Splatoon related #I do play a lotta Splatoon ig but it's just cuz it's easy to pick up and play a few games plus I like the characters and art #I think if I started playing Sonic games it would take a lot longer for me to get thru a game #and if I don't just get thru it all in one night it might take me a while to get thru the game in general #plus how would I play the older games x_x thru an emulator ig but I'm more into official releases of games on their respective console #mostly just cuz it plays better or looks better #and also cuz I want more authentic experiences lmao I know I'm a nerd #anyway I'm just bein silly cuz I'm lookin @ a buncha Sonic stuff #don't even get me started on the comics man I never look @ the comics #and yeah I know One of the comic series is not to be talked about don't worry people make that point very clear lmao #in general tho not much of a comic reader either I enjoy how they look a lot but it's just a lotta work for me to read thru em #cuz I have to analyze like every single drawing and then try and voice the characters in my head #and then also remember wtf I just read #I'm one of those mfs who reads smth and just kinda forgets it the first time lmao #like how exactly does one read all the words in a sentence but literally none of the words stick LMAO #I've seen a few others who are like that tho at least so I know it isn't just me #literally Sonic's VA in Prime was doin that a lot while reading which made me feel very seen I enjoyed it #it's funny tho cuz someone reading to me while I'm also reading it makes it seem to stick a lot lot better #okay well this is getting into a totally different ramble abt the differences in learning I don't think I have enough room #to talk abt all that but like it's smth I did a lot when I was young where I would repeat what ppl wear saying in my head @ the same time #as them talking in order to just really understand what they were saying to me so while reading I gotta make up for it #by reading over it twice so that it sinks into my mind

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genderfluid-druid · 2 years ago

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dropping thoughts like laundry into the aromanticism washing machine and watching them spin. taking little notes in a fancy journal titled "greyro??" and crossing them out, but then going back and scribbling an addendum. holding up an extravagant glass beaker full of a cool bubbling potion and peering at it through safety glasses that say "mind the amatonormativity!"

#i think there are two layers of questioning to deal with #the first layer is easier to see and that's the trauma-related layer #the second layer has been going stealth for years and is more intrinsic #the second layer *could* have been a contributing factor toward the first #so anyway the question is. as i work through the trauma and have the support of a therapist to deal with the first layer #does the second layer become an issue. or is there only the first and it's just worked itself deep enough that it now feels intrinsic #the thing is i do get crushes and i do yearn and i can't remember a time when i didn't crave the idea of a relationship #so that should be that right? not aro. at least not intrinsically.#but why did i always end up losing interest in the relationship once i had it #was it really just because i wasn't dating people i actively chose #honestly maybe. there *was* B. i don't know how much longer that might've continued if logistics hadn't put an end to it #and M....... M is a tricky one. because even though i left that relationship by my own choice. i kind of had to in order to not want to die #the thruple vibes with K were just so utterly rancid and M was just so incapable of doing anything to make it better #so yeah. maybe that one could've continued indefinitely IF two to three of the people involved had been #a leeeeetle more mature and well adjusted. maybe. but desire for a relationship was not the issue.#so okay. maybe im NOT aro. maybe i just have shitty taste in men. you know? that's a distinct possibility.#okay. so now on the other hand. let's look at how happy and enlightened I've felt since starting to *use* the aro label #cuz it actually is fantastic. the freedom to just feel love and affection for anyone I'm close to and not have to worry about #it being taken in a way i don't intend. that's great i love that #and not feeling any pressure to find The One? rocks. good shit. i can just let whatever relationships be what they're gonna be #and not have to fret over assigning a label and structures and expectations. hot shit.#(honestly it's helping me understand where M was coming from in a way that would've been. you know. pretty useful six years ago.)#i don't wanna lock myself in a relationship with friend E but it's great hanging out with her on a regular basis #cuz that's the amount of affection i feel for her. enough to chill and watch Owl House. not enough to be in each others' space all the time #(god idk if I'll ever want to be around anyone all the time ever again. that is a LOT for my limited batteries)#idk how physical affection fits into this yet. that area is still under development #but like. if my friends were cool with it and i knew they wouldn't take it too seriously then YES i would probably kiss almost any of them #and i THINK that's true and not me telling myself something i think I'm supposed to believe? i THINK.#'s always the possibility that i just very badly want to be kissed and my brain is looking to make that happen in a way that isn't scary #ah shit that’s 30 tags. i’ve done it again.

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ourceliumnetwork · 22 days ago

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painted my nails for the first time in a while last night - i'll probably add a second coat tonight - may try and use it as a base for a fancy one that doesn't have a load of pigment on a couple nails just to be, well, fancy lol. don't know if the paint's gonna stick around long after the holidays. i keep forgetting i don't work in food service so i'm allowed to have bracelets and hair ties on my wrists and paint on my nails again, and also i'm not entirely sure whether i even actually like having them be visible lol.

#the post brought to you by #i think it's just that like it's brighter than i normally veer towards and i'm really shy about bright colors on my hands sometimes #book i read in elementary school might be influencing it a little but i'm like #really self conscious about how my hands look? even though like i know pretty much no one is looking at them #well aside from me who has to All The Time #mom and my sister picked on me for the shape of my hands cause it was different from theirs #and my nails don't grow in right because i used to bite my nails real bad #and i still trim them too short but i'm trying not to #i've grown them out only a few times successfully #maybe we do that again i do enjoy having the longer nails from time to time #painting them seems to do the trick and like. no one sees me hardly anyway so what does it matter #if my fingers are a little stumpier looking than normal cause you can see where my nails end?#nail hygiene is a lot of upkeep and i don't remember where i left all my supplies for that... i should get back to Doing My Nails maybe tha #will help actually #already not as upset when i look at my nails now that i have a Plan to Make It Better okay #the color is really great it's a fantastic orange-y brick red (my brain calls it Burnt Sienna but i know that's not quite accurate)#and i think i could do a cute little mushroom cap theme on them if i felt confident in my hands to do lil dots #like it's the perfect 1970s red-orange color #it's just also that my usual nail color choices are ''invisible'' or ''vampire goth''#so this almost feels as shocking as like. fire-engine red or hot pink would #idk. i'm gonna fuss with it maybe later after gift wrapping and cooking is complete so i can be helpful if needed #but yeah. idk #'s weird #not bad just weird

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kosmic-songbird · 4 months ago

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Throwing this one out to the universe and my deities:

My college application is great and I get accepted without hesitation. I'm able to study the way I want to and my current hormonal imbalance sorts itself out. I find the best wedding dress and fits exactly the way I want it to fit. I don't even have to think about money; it's not an issue.

✨✨✨

#i just needed to throw out a hail mary on the new moon #things havent been going great tbh #and i just really want to get into school #its 3am and my app essay is beyond late but they havent told me to fuck off yet so ima finish it anyways #its been hard but i know its gonna be okay again because I was getting better before #this is a dip in the wave not a drop of the cliff #i had a beautiful experience with Aphrodite recently #and one with Hekate #both felt like a promise that things will go back to the way they were #or maybe be even better #oh #just a heads up to my girly pops and other folks using birth control out there #even if you just switch brands #not the type just the brand #you can have severe hormonal fluctuations #literally havent had a really bad meltdown in years and after switching i had 5 in the span of two weeks #it can take 2-3 months on average to level out #sometimes longer #my advice?#if youre gonna switch dont just talk to your obgyn about it #tell your psychiatrist (if you have one) also #dont do it after youve switched and are having a menty b #just trust me on this one #but yeah its not the end of the world #just a shock after how well id been doing #im handling it better than i would have in the past #so sayeth my therapist #so im hopeful #i have a lot to look forward to and a lot of life still in me #bad brain

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mooniekive · 5 months ago

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I was called a Tae anti today IN PERSON by an adult woman and she was like “I’m joking haha” but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t lol

#it was obvious she’s an anti boycotter but I’m almost sure she’s like a pandemic or post pandemic army #it wouldn’t surprise me #and only because I said I didn’t like that Tae posted McDonald’s and that he should’ve known better #and she tried to make excuses for him and I was like nahhhh he knew and saw what happened and then called me a Tae anti #like go off girly pop I’ve been here 8 years I see them as human beings who make mistakes and I know they can do better and #educate themselves because they have in the past #im not gonna sit here and make excuses for them I told her I was disappointed in all of them not just Tae for their silence #because I know what bts has stood for in the past and the messages they have spread #and look there are so many army in my new job that I’ve just become so SUS #instead of embracing army I meet it’s now me being very nervous about what kind of army I’m going to meet #I watched this fandom turn into the opposite of what we were a long time ago and it’s truly so saddening #I no longer want to engage in fandom stuff because it’s so bitter and sometimes gross #for the record I’m not okay with harassing the members whatsoever that shit is gross and not how you get what you want it’s just inhumane #but in also not okay with borderline infantilizing Korean idols and acting like they can’t possibly know about the genocide even if they’re #in the military it has been long enough and they’ve used the Internet since come on

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