#okay that's cool I guess
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Feeling like I want to give up again...
#now it's my dad who's deciding to be a jerk towards me because he's mad at my mom#okay that's cool I guess#I haven't been feeling well at all today#I can't even distract myself#my dad's being so dramatic too like it's not my fault he's on a break from work but still doing stuff he could probably get out of doing#but he wants to be away from me and my mom so. I get it#he's never at home even when he's supposedly on a break from his job lol#this is how my mom and I know he's lying about retiring#because he's always putting it off#he was supposed to retire this year but nope#if he doesn't have his job he has no excuse to get out of the house and he hates being around us#Goddddd#he is such a fucking hypocrite#getting mad at me over something he has also done before and then saying it was fine when HE did it because it was 'months ago already'#(dropping something except in his case he actually SHATTERED it lmao)#but yeah... me dropping something without breaking it is WORSE than him dropping and actually breaking it...#wow#amazing logic#then my dad keeps complaining about how we don't care. when he's the one who proves over and over again that he's the one who doesn't care#I forget what they're called but he's the parent type who doesn't get involved in anything#he's never stood up for me and he's watching me rot and hurt myself and he's just like 'oh okay as long as it doesn't involve me idc'#he's not fucking stupid like he can tell there's shit clinically wrong with me but not once has he acted like an actual parent towards me#and yeah I'm an adult now but it's still fucked me up so badly#he is such a fucking coward#and selfish#if he could drop me and my mom somehow I know he would at the drop of the hat#but remember he's a coward so. I know he fucking won't#God this is making my urges get bad again#I'm crying 'cause I'm just so fucking pathetic :')
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everyone be quiet i'm manifesting
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb hunter#mods art#mods draws#my art#YAYYYYY ITS DONE#i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think#just on and off#whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this#it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭#but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool#very self indulgent but!!! whatever#i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol#okay byeeeeee#ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD#okay bye fr
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Saw a post talking about this and didn't want to derail it, but like, honestly, at this point, I'm becoming less and less tolerant of people acting like straight/cis passing privilege is a real, very serious thing that needs to be taken into consideration every time someone speaks on queer issues bcs I swear to god the only time I ever see it actually brought up is when someone is trying to deny someone else a seat at the table. Like first it was used against bi+ people to explain why we're not queer unless we're in a same gender relationship, and then it was used to shit all over ace and aro people for not being "visibly queer", then they turned on nonbinary people who "look cis", and now I see people throwing it at trans men for some reason like???? This is legit becoming an exclusionist dogwhistle to me. Any merit to this concept is completely obliterated by assholes who are so addicted to playing oppression olympics they're meticulously crafting pokemon type advantage charts to categorize all the gays based on who actually has "real" problems and who doesn't, it's agonizing.
Like putting "straight/cis passing privilege" up on the shelf next to "comphet" until people can learn how to use it in a way that doesn't invalidate someone else's queerness.
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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Knight of calamity and his noble...tiger?
#ive actually had this image living in my head for so long but the new chapter gave me the push to finally draw it#shoutout to my friend who said he could “feel the love for the character” when i was sending progress updates im glad it shows#the whole “knight of calamity” thing is cause bram was one of the ten calamities and i thought it sounded cool okay#bsd#akutagawa bsd#bungo stray dogs#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#?#i guess?#bsd 119#maybe
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Consider. Consider. Artemis with a single braid but she also has highlights. Or ombré. OR BOTH
#think anna from frozen in the middle-end of the first movie#you see it's a) very cool and also b) funny to me specifically#because highlights in italian are called 'colpi di sole'#which. okay it would sound violent in the only way i know how to translate it#but it basically refers to sunlight shining on your hair#in this case i guess they would be called colpi di luna bc. she's a moon goddess#LMAO#lonely thoughts
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I drew this, then forgot, then remembered last night. I feel 'meh' about it but I'll post it anyway LMAO for those that might enjoy Trahearne. I'll try to see if I can have a better version of him later at some point... no promises LOL
#gw2#guildwars2#guild wars 2#my art#Trahearne#sylvari#bruh yeah its “okay” for me but like its not BAD its just not as COOL as i want it to be#but what am i gonna do- let it rot in my folders? nah why not show him i guess?#LEARNING MOMENT I GUESS BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME ME
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canon can't stop me from making the Touden siblings have matching monster features
#alwx.png#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#falin touden#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmeshi spoilers#dunmeshi manga spoilers#if you missed blocking those tags thats on you#anyways i GUESS i get why Laios didnt keep his chimera features...#but have you considered that i think he would look really cute#ultimate strongest monster laios was just really cool okay
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So the wildest thing happened where @mactheactor decided to dub over (if that's even the correct terminology) the Chaos Sonic animation I made!!!!
I'm still in utter awe about this like, hands down the coolest thing ever I've been thinking about this non-stop. Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do!!
#starrway art#sonic prime#chaos sonic#okay now that the nice text for the post is done AHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#I've been screaming about this for the last 24 hours and the shock of it has worn down just enough for me to post this#NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS????#Sonic Prime is what got me on this long hyperfixation in the first place and I've met so many cool people in the fandom#and generally having a blast making art and it's been such a great time#so to then have Deven Mack come in and think that my stuff is awesome is such an insanely cool thing#it means a whole lot is what I'm trying to say haha#I do have to like microdose on this video because it makes me so incredibly happy that I get very overwhelmed by it#In a very good way though it makes me want to run laps outside#thanks to everyone I've met/interacted with so far being some of kindest people y'all are awesome#idk if this post is even like coherent I've been writing it in my mind for the past day because I have no idea how to even go about this#ok good night hehehe
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was today years old when discovering that the eleventh doctor wears leather trousers. his trousers are made of black leather. Black leather with the ends rolled up and I. have no idea what to think-
#what do you mean he is wearing BLACK LEATHER TROUSERS#all this time I thought it was denim but I just saw his Children In Need short and? they really are? black leather?#exactly like the books and articles describe. he is wearing black leather#ON HIS LEGS#I genuinely thought oh ha! tweed old man jacket with elbow patches. cotton shirt. braces and bow tie. boots. precious man#denim trousers#BUT NO. NO. hear me. listen to me. that sideways old man babyface is wearing black leather trousers. do you know what that makes him?#COOL. do you know what that also makes him? STUPID#he's even more ridiculous than I thought he was. who does that. like the tweed and the bow tie and the elbow patches were all quirky#all eccentric and geek chic and niche and moffat and the costumers really tried to create a very OBVIOUS caricature#but it worked and it came together to look exactly how it was supposed to look okay. but. BUT.#it is all sitting on top of cleverly-disguised. barely-referred-to. blink-twice-and-you'll-miss-them-#black leather trousers. *inhale with me* matt smith in his mid-twenties dressing as a geek chic alien grandfather. IN BLACK LEATHER TROUSER#NEEEERRRRD#eleventh doctor#doctor who#doverstar's thoughts#text post#funny#read the tags#opinion piece#I guess?#eleven#11#11th doctor#11th#dw#bbc#matt smith#steven moffat
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I could try to make this a whole comic, but I don’t have the patience to. So….
Bloodmoon giggled to himself as he scurried away. It wasn’t always that he could get such a good glance at the Daycare idiot’s daily routine, but when he did, boy was it a blast.
Some odd creature emerged from the portal and some confrontation took place, he was excluded from it, having been up in the rafters and all, so he had been in a perfect position to see the absolute frustration in the Sun-Man’s face as the creature toppled over his precious barrel towers, and then, and then— he snorted just remembering— and then the Sun-Man chased around the creature screaming every single swear word that could ever be said.
He had almost fallen off the rafters from laughing too hard, which had sadly gotten him spotted by the computer, which meant he had to leave. But still, it had been very amusing, so now he was on his way to the place he and the little Pumpkin Sprout usually met at— the theatre basement, with its infinite food supply and stuff— and he was going to talk to them about it, because they had to know.
He entered the space, bouncing in place at seeing the pumpkin bot already there, and he approached them.
Hmm, Little Sprout didn’t usually go for knives that quickly. Nor did they usually tackle him that quickly, nor would they aim for his eye, nor would they be the ones to start a sneak fight, nor— okay this was just not how Jack normally acted. Which meant…
#sun and moon show#tsams#the sun and moon show#sams#sams bloodmoon#sams fanart#tsams bloodmoon#sams jack#tsams jack#based off that really cool idea of#Virus!Jack#And Bloodmoon fighting#(And BM getting their ass beat)#Part 1#probably#i mean I like this too much to just leave it here#So you’ll see more stuff!#… at some point#Okay but like should I make a tag for Jack and Bloodmoon semi canon compliant friendship things?#I already have names in mind#But they sound a bit shippy so I guess I don’t actually have names in mind#I’m rambling again#:P
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Emperors Red and Purple. Finally took the time to finish this, now it's time for me to sleep for twelve hours straight and never open the psd files again
#invader zim#the almighty tallest#the tallest#jhonen vasquez#tallest purple#tallest red#invader zim tallest#i ended up using elements of my previous design of the tallest so i guess they are cyborg overlods now#let me have my cool robot aliens okay
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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okayy the pressure got to me
#yayy green#kaart tag#mspaint#roblox#pressure#scopophobia tw#eye contact#sorta#eyefestation#mr lopee#chainsmoker#stares out of the window. It's dire guys#'okay ill check out this game i guess ...' 2 days later im in the blood pits#anyway. a cool fish & my wife & my wife ^_^
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#well. i definitely do not like this one as much as growlithe SHIT I FORGOT TO TAG GROWLITHE. HOLD ON LEMME GO DO THAT#hisuian arcanine#okay i'm back. yeah i don't like this one as much as hisuian growlithe. it loses the whole aesthetic and now it's just. i dunno#arcanine with black fur. ancient arcanine. boring#could've done so much more with this. it could've been like one of those mop dogs with the fur over their faces. giant mop dog#but then i guess it wouldn't have been nearly as intimidating for its whole. boss fight. fucking. thing#which imo it would suck if they designed it exclusively for that boss fight. to look “cool” and “intimidating” for that boss fight#:/ 'cause they could've done better. look at hisuian growlithe… then look at this. :/
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DAY 2 || TURTLEDUCK POND
@zukkaweek
#okay I’m sorry about disappearing for god knows how long#my life has been crazy#I’ve just finished my exmans so that’s cool (also I’m dating the girl I liked this whole years so that really cool I guess)#and I really hate this piece#I drew this like last month and idk it just feels weird#anyway it’s zukka week so I’m gonna post this for them#I also have 1 more thing but that about it#sorry#ZUKKA WEEK#atla#avatar the last airbender#zukka#zuko#sokka#fanart#atla fanart#yes it’s a wip shhh don’t say anything about it#my art
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