#okay now I'm actually done
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Guilt
#To be clear I don't hate Ford#I DO however think he was absolutely haunted by his past mistakes after Weirdmaggedon#He probably felt like he let down the little kid he used to be#The one who'd do anything for his brother#Emotionally stunted and traumatized old man that he is#With his hero complex gone he doesn't have anything to hide behind#Alright alright analysis over#my art#animation#young ford pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#The Filbrick and Ford parallels directly post return will never not slay me </3#Anyway that's why we can't see his eyes in the first few frames#Okay now I'm actually done#character analysis
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also! Cc's do not need to see people posting neg about them all the time! It's bad enough they have to see what Twitter says about them 24/7!!
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Some context: after narrowly avoiding being arrested, we've been told that we are on thin fucking ice and we are having an eye kept on us by the city guard. Implication is that if we're caught with even one toe out of line, we're going to be dragged to the "Reformation Center," which appears to be as bad as it sounds. The very next day, the rogue (who was the cause of our initial arrest and the cause of the town nearly being burnt down because he got greedy about stealing stuff, and who didn't get dragged in front of the town leader to explain himself and we had to cover for him) shows up again and immediately tries to steal the golden holy symbol we found while Wyn was trying to dig up information on the removal of curses. Note: this is not a useful holy symbol. It is not a +1, it's not magical, and it's not for Wyn's god. It just happens to be gold.
Wyn tells him to knock it off and that we're trying to keep our heads down after things went to shit because of what he did. My man decides to STEAL IT ANYWAY, and uses sleight of hand to do it. BUT, OF COURSE, HE ALREADY SAID HE WANTED TO STEAL IT. SO OF COURSE WYN KNOWS WHERE IT IS. So she walks over, grabs his arm, reads him the riot act about how his greed has almost killed us TWICE at this point, and tells him that he needs to put the holy symbol back. She tells him that she's not kidding this time. She tells him that this is his last warning. He tells her that he's not gonna put it back.
So she pumps a 3rd level Inflict Wounds on him and dropped his HP to 4.
Now he has disappeared from the sight of the party, and the last that we the players heard, he was hovering outside of the tavern window, trying to get dirt on the party so that he could turn Wyn into the city guard.
So, you know. Good times.
WELP. UH. WYN ATTACKED THE ROGUE TODAY BECAUSE HE KEPT TRYING TO STEAL SHIT. SO. DUNNO HOW THAT'S GONNA SHAKE OUT. 😬
#hush frenchy#i need a curse of strahd tag#i was SWEATING through it but. i feel justified in Wyn's response!! she was mad as hell!!#the rest of the party also stepped in too but despite wyn hitting harder and first they went to her aid#the wizard tried to hit the rogue with a chair after he stabbed wyn post-fight#and the fighter got between them but put his back to wyn because he considered her less of the aggressor#which wyn was like#SO grateful for#she was pissed off but MAN at least she wasn't treated like she was just some emotional idiot#the wyn tag#edit: looking back this does not express the sheer amount of times that the rogue has stolen something that fucked us over#even when being asked to stop#if asked to put something back he just immediately sleight of hand's it#twice it has triggered dangerous combat#three times it has been wyn asking him not to touch something because there's a dangerous effect on it and he just ignores her#thus the anger on her part LMAO#its a huge contrast to the fact that when we found that holy symbol there was a silvered dagger with it#and our wizard picked it up and went 'hey do we wanna take this? it might be useful'#and then waited to get the group opinion#immediately after was the rogue trying to steal the holy symbol so like. lol. lmao even.#this character is clearly doing this on purpose to be shitty#and I wish i knew WHY. because it seems to have no motivation at all!! which would make things interesting!!#okay now I'm actually done
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cause it was never mine AUGUST The Eras Tour — Los Angeles, California
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#tswiftgif#candy swift#folklore#august#eras tour#the eras tour#tscreators#networkthirteen#taylorswiftedit#taswiftnet#maya edits#taylor#okay ACTUAL last edit i promise i'm done now#i just cannot help myself okay?#i'm bored can you tell#1k
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People who say that being nice will get you further in life than being mean have never been nice a day in their life. That shit got me USED. I came out of the nice room covered in my own blood. You're all liars
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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the boy! inspired by @triforce-of-mischief:
very loosely based off of this panel from @/linkeduniverse:
and with text/textless versions:
#i am Done (my wrist has given up on me for tonight)#i feel like i could've done Really Cool shading but alas...#i don't think the expression really transferred the way i wanted it to#he looks more pissed off than i was going for#i have same EXPRESSION syndrome actually i've figured out#might come back and change things but for now i am Okay with it#tryna have a 'don't let perfect be the enemy of good' mindset#but also anxiety?? idk i'm just some guy it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things#anyway uhhhhh#ALSO I DID NOT FLIP THE CANVAS AND I DON'T EVEN CARE LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!
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Listen, I love OC x Canon as much as the next guy, maybe even MORE than the next guy ever could, but Stanley Pines would NOT date a person that looks like they're in their first year of College.
I'm sorry, but he wouldn't. MAKE YOUR OC MORE AGE APPROPRIATE RIGHT. NOW. 👇😠
#Realistically#I am never one to judge#but guys... be real#let your OCs be old 😢😔#everytime someone ships their OC that isn't even remotely wrinkly and saggy with my beloved Stan an angel loses it's wings#Don't you guys want your OCs to grow old with Stan? C'mon man you're yanking my chain#anyway I took a ton of benadryl earlier and I've been trying really hard to spell everything right and stay on topic#so i think I'll stop the rant there love you bye#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#oc x canon#honestly I'm not really that bothered y'know do what'chya want#your oc your choice lol#i love oc x canon#i actually thrive because of oc x Canon#it keeps me going 🙏#okay now I'm done#ignore all the spelling mistakes 🙏😔
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Thinking about Prey again, and, more specifically (beware of massive spoilers from here on out) the choice to have Morgan Yu be a silent protagonist.
At first it seems like such an odd choice, because Morgan does have a voice - you're faced with it in old video and audio recordings, not to mention in the sentient memory copies that are January and December. When other characters encounter January, they comment on it speaking with Morgan's voice, despite Morgan themself never uttering a word. Other characters address Morgan as if expecting a response, and then keep on going seemingly without noticing they never got one. Part of me wondered why past-Morgan spoke but present-Morgan didn't, but, having previously played Half-Life and Portal, also featuring silent protagonists, my assumption was that hey, clearly this is a common video game mechanic. It doesn’t entirely make sense within the narrative since Morgan (unlike Freeman and Chell) is established to have a voice, but whatever, I'm capable of suspension of disbelief for the sake of the medium.
But with the ending reveal of Morgan not actually being Morgan but rather an alien typhon living through a simulation, it starts feeling much more narratively intentional. I went through the game saving as many people as possible because I'm a baby and I feel bad if I let the NPCs die. I never took into account wwmd - What Would Morgan Do - but in the little review at the end of the game when you find out you were an alien all along there’s this interesting line: "you're assuming it thinks like us." Every choice throughout the game becomes recontextualized. Did typhon-Morgan save people out of empathy, or because of some unknowable alien drive? Because you have no dialogue you can't really establish an underlying reasoning beforehand. I personally went from having projected my own reasoning onto Morgan to stopping and going wait... why would an alien do this? How does it think? What Would (Human) Morgan Do no longer matters; instead, the question is Why Did (Typhon) Morgan Do What They Did?
From a practical angle, it also makes sense. The typhon don’t speak, so of course typhon-Morgan also doesn't. The fact that it’s all a simulation means all the people they encounter can be programmed not to question this, thus never giving typhon-Morgan (or the player) a reason to question it either.
In the end, I simply find it fascinating and impressive how the game leveraged a common mechanic of the medium to become not only an integral part of the narrative, but also, through this leverage, tricks the player into not noticing it, only for it to change everything when you do.
#reminds me a bit of the original planned ending of portal 2 being one where she speaks (giving a voice command to stop wheatley)#thus similarly recontextualizing her entire percieved character#bc at once the silence is no longer a mechanic or a gag it’s an active choice from her side#and the player from that is urged to reconsider her as an actual charcter and not just as a blank slate to project on#not knocking the ending they settled on tho i think it's ultimately better set up and more satisfying game play and catharsis wise#but the planned ending had a more lowkey appeal of its own#and knowing about it definitely helped shape how i view chell as a character#okay I'm done now#prey 2017#nella talks
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the thing is that if comments/kudos/engagement are "payment" for authors' "free" work, aka if fandom is transactional, then readers are in fact "paying" for something. and if readers are "paying" for something then fic is a product, and if you are "paying" for a "product" you are in fact - generally speaking - entitled to make some basic demands regarding said "product." what that looks like is gonna be different from reader to reader but we have spent years upon years arguing, rightly so, that people are not entitled to updates, or completed fics, or to offer unsolicited criticism, or fics going the way they want them to, or that authors shouldn't have the right to delete their stuff, etc etc. etc. and that entire argument crumbles the moment you turn this into a transaction and it's just no wonder (if no less goddamn obnoxious) that readers' entitlement is skyrocketing when they are treated like fucking customers. like. turning this into an us vs them seller vs customer thing is, aside from entirely ignorant of the fact that writers most often are readers themselves, the most horrific thing happening to fandom. stop turning this into a fucking free market under the guise of community. i swear to fucking god
#*mine#mona rambles#i said i was done with this entire discussion but people make me so tired oh my god#on fandom#comment discourse#before someone gets on my dick. i am Not saying the entitlement of readers is justified or the fault of people who'd like some Actual Commu#*Community#i'm saying that if you write guilt-trippy thesis statements about how you're owed comments as payment then maybe you need to kill#the capitalist inside your head.#okay now I'm done. for the time being
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the fact that you start the Tabris origin by literally stepping into your mother's shoes. the fact that what you get is a wedding outfit and your mother's worn boots, kept carefully intact for years, tucked away for this exact moment. the fact that you then immediately take the path she never could, leaving behind the alienage and the wedding and following Duncan (who would have recruited Adaia first, if not for baby!Tabris) to what ought to have been death.
And Then!! instead of fighting and falling as she did, cheating death and becoming the fighter she always intended you to be instead??? Reliving and simultaneously subverting the story of her life??
#okay no i'm not done actually#the way it feels like destiny for you to die on the alienage's behalf (soris is still in the dungeons in other origins when you get there)#and not only is that fate averted by duncan's presence#but what feels like the fate laid out for you by adaia's death is shifted too#this makes the ultimate sacrifice ending so much more awful imo#because it almost feels like a final destination-esque reckoning#you thought you escaped? no. this city will eat your bones and spit out a golden savior#who tabris actually *is* was always irrelevant and i am!!!#eating this#excuse me i am just writing baby arianwen and adaia right now and i am Feeling Things#i just!!! her boots!! is anyone listening? is this thing on?? her *boots*!#*buries face in crossed arms and sobs*#dixeram#dao#tabris origin#warden tabris#arianwen tabris#adaia tabris#oh shit oh god i just realized also#you free adaia from the dungeon in leliana's song right#and then in turn escape from the same dungeon#and when imprisoned at drakon's rise you break free from that too?#now it's tastier if you free yourself from the dungeon but#the possibility of leliana freeing you from there as well?? not the same dungeon but the same danger??? ouch. ouch!
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next // previous
october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house
[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.
[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.
[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.
[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–
[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.
[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?
[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.
[juhani] that’s not what–
[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.
[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.
[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…
[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.
[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.
[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?
[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.
[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.
[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.
[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.
[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.
[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.
[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.
[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–
[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.
[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.
[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.
[grant] nothing.
[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?
[grant] why?
[juhani] why what?
[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?
[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?
[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.
[juhani] how do you know about her?
[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.
[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.
[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…
[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.
[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.
[grant] did she ever find out?
[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.
[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.
[grant] and?
[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.
[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.
[grant] as far as you know?
[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.
[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.
[juhani] does it upset you that much?
[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.
[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!
[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?
[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!
[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?
[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.
[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!
[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…
[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.
[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?
[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.
[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.
[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.
[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.
[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.
[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.
[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?
[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.
[grant] just a kid.
[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.
[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.
[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!
[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.
[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.
[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.
[juhani] you’re right.
[juhani] you’re right, grant.
[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.
[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?
[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.
[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.
[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.
[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.
[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 story#sims 4 storytelling#simblr#hlcn: everything the stars promised#holocene.docx#holocene.png#hlcn: grant#hlcn: juhani#hlcn: varpu#TADA#grant delivers the verbal smackdown of the century to his father: scene complete#it's quite satisfying#also snarky/angry/etc. grant is soooooo rare to see and write#he's usually pretty demure and cagey about things or just plain old polite but he is indeed grandma aoife's grandson#if and when he wants to he can snark like a champion#okay some actual serious analysis now#some of this conversation is retreading the same old ground and not making any huge revelations#like i think we all know and grant knows that his father really failed him and did not take the opportunities to do the right thing#and we know that he is selfish that he is just out to protect his own comfort without rocking the boat#but actually hearing grant tell his father how badly he fucked up and how badly he harmed grant and his siblings IS the big deal here#grant had his 'i'm done' moment at that college graduation dinner but this is the most sincere one#this is him really expressing at last how he feels and not just letting that angry kid out of the cage#i mean the angry kid is out of the cage here but there is some real processing of emotions and regrets and such on top of that#ANYWAY i am curious to hear your thoughts on this#*end lengthy author's note*
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/52599db6813f43f1e09442ef1708d7ef/fde540736a4009f2-d0/s540x810/eb759452085bf80409e217f3dd0572829981a9a5.jpg)
fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway
potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3
#my art#uh i am so sorry but i'm gonna tag you in a few more posts also because#i keep getting inspired to draw stuff by your writings#this took SO long but i finished it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at last!!!!!!!!!!!!#those fence posts are my mortal enemies but at least they're done now#really glad i actually stuck with this#i started it three weeks ago!!#hm anyway i'm really really in love with this fic like seriously - if it was a published book i would buy it so so fast#everytime a new chapter drops i just go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then message my friend to yell about it <3#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyu!!#haikyu!! fanart#this is not the end#right so; in order:#azumane asahi#iwaizumi hajime#oikawa tooru#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#sawamura daichi#sugawara koushi#kuroo tetsurou#takeda ittetsu#ukai keishin#ushijima wakatoshi#i put too many tags before and it deleted them nooooo i forgot what i said- oh! it was about starting this when only 3 chapters were out#and now there's so many characters which i haven't drawn here but i want to draw at some point so probably will okay loveyou bye <3
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the fascinating thing about melanie haters is that they have precision laser vision to find the part where melanie says that the bullet stayed because she wanted it and use that line to say that she's the most fucked up and evil person ever while also being completely incapable of perceiving the line where jon said he attacked strangers because it felt good and he wanted to. scientists are still hard at work trying to figure this one out.
#okay i'm done. for now.#tma#marina marvels at life#actually this post is half a lie.#the 2 or 3 times I've seen melanie haters address jon's forced statements they've called jess tyrell a crybaby. so actually jon was fine ig
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tged webtoon ep 171 spoilers and thoughts but i'm mostly just going "YAY I LIKED THIS MOMENT" and more below the cut
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DEMON KING LLOYD HELLO. HELLO?? WHAT. WHY?? BUT WOW. HOLY SHIT. I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS
I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS GAIN WINGS AND HORNS AND . GHGHHGHGHHG AAAHHH ITS MY FAVORITE THING if you didn't already know dragon lloyd was like one of my favorite all-time panels so this is VERY AWESOME FOR ME YAYYY YAAAAYYY HAHAHA
LIKE SERIOUSLY LOOK HE GOT FANGS N SHIT AND. OH MY GODD THE SMOKE SLIPPING PAST HIS LIPS IM SO??? THAT'S SO COOL. I LOVE WHEN THEY DO THAT WITH SMOKE AND MONSTROUS FORMS OF CHARACTERS
genuinely i need to draw this asap. pacing issues aside i am obsessed with how sick this is. i love this a LOT
ok ok back to the top bc theres some stuff i wanna touch on from before demon king lloyd got revealed! because...
"master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us".
EXCUSE ME WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFF SCREEN, LLOYD TOOK TIME OUT OF HIS BUSY ASS DAY. TO TEACH THE KIDS HOW TO PLAY SOCCER. AND THEY HAVE PLAYED ENOUGH TO BE FAMILIAR ENOUGH TO PLAY ON THEIR OWN. WHICH MEANS THAT LLOYD . PLAYED SOCCER WITH THEM . AND WE FIND THIS OUT. NOW?? I. GGHH. THATS SO. CUTE. IM GOING TO BITE HIM. THE FUCKER. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
the fact that they go up to ask him im going to EXPLODE?!?!?
he looks so nonchalant abt it here im cryinf
AND LOOK AT THEM GO THIS IS SO SO SWEET IM VERY GLAD LYRA GOT TO PLAY WITH THEM I LIKE THIS A LOT
this scene, and the beginning scene where the adults were just so casual with her and treating her as a living person with feelings and someone that they can talk to was so so heartwarming i oooghhh my heart
AND THEN THERE HE IS. SMILING IN THE BACK. YOU ASS.
I SEE YOU BEING KIND AND EMPATHETIC AND SELFLESS LLOYD. YOU LOST THE NONCHALANT WAR. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE
christ. i fucking HATE him /j /aff
it is also VERY silly that they're so casual abt. destruction like that HELPPP they got it from someone sob sob, though i imagine since most of the estate consists of people who have done construction it probably isnt that big of a deal when things get destroyed every now n then
and lyra looks so damn happy,,, god im so glad she had a good experience, she really needed one :')
also i completely LOST it when the kid got mad at lyra for not responding with a yes or no HELPPP JESUS CHRIST
again they,,, got it from someone HAHA though honestly i think it tracks. kids can be straightforwardly brutal in their language, especially when they don't really have biases or cares for who they are speaking to. as crazy as this instance looks (LMFAO) i think this fits well with the context of the straightforwardness of children and considering the person who they look up to at the estate. i think it was good for lyra to meet a human child her age who can speak straightforwardly and not skirt past things, if that makes sense? i hope it does!
AND THE DEMON KING TRANSFORMATION i already talked abt it above but i wanna point out this blue system box here
a power outside of the system?!?? what does this mean for the protagonist of the new prequel bk_moon is writing?? is the weather forecasting included in this???
my first assumption right now is that the demon king power is just an in-world power system while everything else (ie the weather forecasting) is external, blue-textbox system. maybe? so lloyd got the demon king power which comes with skills separate from the ones that the system can provide? that would explain why there's no indication of lloyd trying to use the weather forecasting, he probably can't use it,,,? except i dont know why artanis can use it in that case. most likely i am overthinking it LMFAO
semi-related, i am a little confused as to why artanis did this? i guess she really, really trusted him w this power? or maybe her weather forecasting noted that this would be something good to do i have no idea,,, it Does feel a bit sudden i won't lie, i'm not sure how earned this is
also javier and everyone else not reacting that much to the demon king status. SENT ME HAHA "... nothing's changed." LOL
deadpan humor never fails to make me giggle ily javier
also loved the moment where the two of them were bein serious for a sec,,, they've got a job to do they've got people to protect. lloyd will stop fate and javier will be right besides him...
i think showing them at emily's wedding really cements how much they really, REALLY need to fight fate now. the novel events happening is very very bad, but it feels like now that so many people, emily especially, have found THIS much happiness in their lives,,, failing to stop fate will hit even harder. i really like the analogy of a taut bow that the dragon king used when he first described it, bc it's really REALLY showing how much the repercussions will hit if they fail. im praying they succeed,,, please,,, i need a happy ending or i will curl up and turn into an actual shrimp irl.
and now the demons have to build the pantara railroad,,, artanis's expression omfg
she really didn't,,, know,,, she trusted him that much,,,, girl,,,
but it's ok. it'll be a net positive trust! that's how lloyd does things!!! and then soon we'll get the happy ending where we can get the eye of summer and beat up fate and then silly fun times YAYY <- probably copium
some other thoughts of note that i had with a dear mutual (hi sprout :3) about this ep:
we were talking about how the plot seems to be paced right now, and honestly i'm of the opinion that while yes its Technically moving, the way they're ending each ep in this current arc makes it feel like it's going both very slow and very fast, that is to say it feels like it's not moving at all
bc they're like "okay NOW we're gonna do the build project" and it's been like that for several episodes now. pieces are moving but we're going past the point of it all too fast (especially the whole demon king thing. mentioned this before but while cool, doesn't feel as earned simply bc we're both tackling each point and yet blowing past all the points, so it's a lot less satisfying than it should be (despite how awesome it is,,, oh lloyd you give me so much internal conflict </3))
it does make me a lil worried that they're gonna timeskip the hell out of the pantara railroad build. however this episode, although it still has a weird pacing/movement issue, does feel a little bit better than the last two imo, so i have hope that it'll turn out okay, that it'll start heading up! i'm actually really excited to see where they go with this and i'm sure that even if the pacing is still goofy i'll have some kind of fun with it (seriously the panels this ep were wonderful HAHA)
anyway that's all for this week! extremely excited for the next ep,,, ill see yall then,,, lets go pantara railroad arc!!!
#tged#the greatest estate developer#lynn misc#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#lloyd frontera#tged lloyd#i read this episode in the middle of my finals actually LMFAOOOOO#okay well not like during an exam or anything dont worry guys#but like definitely when i should have been working and studying. so.#it probably helped me i think demon king lloyd showing up gave me the dopamine i needed to actually get shit done and finish through friday#or was it serotonin? what's the happy chemical? i don't know i'm an engineer not a med student#on that note though I DID WELL ON MY FINALS! EVERYONE CHEER!#i'd like to thank lloyd frontera for being with me in my time of extremely extremely severe (that's two extremely's) “losing it” moments#it all ended up worth it. i passed a comp sci class with an A for the first time in several years#safe to say i'm very happy!#more posts to come now that i'm on break! i have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THAT DAMN PREQUEL NOVEL. and also about alicia. very excited!#i'll see y'all then okay i'll post this shit now#(maybe i need to cool it on the “posting my secondary thoughts to tags” thing) (idek if anyone reads this) (OK POST)
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Y'all think Orin would stab me the way she did the painting for this?
Also sneaking his... something in here cuz like idk what im on but it's kinda working.
#okay#this is still pretty realistic#but its also artsy and whimsical and blurry#and you have no idea how much fun this was#also imagine#i got not one but TWO portraits done on a single weekend#I'm productive and having fun and it doesn't look like shit#this is it#and bgs are still a pain but with this brush its not actually that horrible#and if i may be so free#They're fucking pretty#i like how this turned out#bg3#gortash bg3#bg3 gortash#enver gortash#bg3 durge#durge#dark urge#look at them#look at the terrible but pretty men#now time to work on a legit request... yay... (its not even fictional people its real people i hate myself for agreein#and since I was so productive my wifi router decided to die a sudden death
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