#okay now I'll start okay? okay
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#ed talk in the tags to follow lmao#please do NOT read further if you're triggered by or are sensitive to food/weight talk im BEGGING you#okay now I'll start okay? okay#i hope i lose enough weight by march 21st lmao#im perpetually in a starve/binge cycle and these last few months the change from one to fhe other has been unusually quick#anyways i binged September - december and then starved from December to February and them binged all of February#but since feb 27th i've been on starvation mode bc i NEED to go back to my regular weight by march 21st#otherwise I'll have a full on breakdown#but im scared I won't be able to get to 55kg in that time lol#and i don't wanna exercise too much bc i KNOW i won't be able to keep up and I'll trigger a worse level starvation OR make me binge again#but uuhhhh im so scared I won't lose the weight at all#even tho i know i can loose at least enough to FEEL like i've lost it all#anyways. i just. i NEED to lose it and i feel like I won't#i know i can but mmmmmmmm what if I can't#anyways if you've read this far I don't wanna hear anything about recovery or anything like that this is how i've lived for 15 years so#that's not the point. i need to lose all the weight quick but I know my limit
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Congratulations to Dungeon Meshi on the first episode of the animation adaptation!
(June 2024 Redraw)
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi#chilchuck tims#I have been getting into a lot of dungeon related media recently and what better way to celebrate this by cheering on Dungeon Meshi#Which is about to start airing it's first season!#I have a few friends who are deep in the Dungeon Meshi caverns and I am so excited to surprise them with this art#The group chats are already blowing up with people drawing and now I can join in! Yippee!#My favourite character wont appear in this season but that is okay. I am so fond of them all B*)#It really is a very special and dear story that I am happy to see get more love and exposure.#Not sure what the overlap is for mdzs and dungeon meshi but I must do my dues to spread the word.#I'll work on figuring out how to draw these silly adventurers better and return with more art at the end of the season.
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hehehehehhooo,, decided to draw some hermits as the mystery skulls animated gang!! why? uhhh mostly just 'cause.
special thanks to the ibaaf server for helping me pick the roles! gem is vivi,, false is arthur,, pearl is lewis,, and etho is mystery!!
better pic of pearl under the cut, where you can how lazy i am,,ms ksmsksjs
#my art#hermitcraft#mystery skulls animated#falsesymmetry#geminitay#ethoslab#pearlescentmoon#falsesymmetry fanart#geminitay fanart#ethoslab fanart#pearlecentmoon fanart#this wasn't supposed to have this much effort put into it. and then it took five hours.#chose etho's role first cuz i really like the kitsune etho headcanon#(yes his collar has a maple leaf on it)#and the lil deadbeats are a bunch of lil tillys!!#we also gave roles to some of the other characters. bdubs is shiromori and cub is reverb/???/possession guy#sorry guys; you're antagonists now 😔#actually i don't think cub would mind this#also i refuse to think any harder about what bdubs being shiromori means. they're both plants okay.#it was either this or joel#or that one sock monster guy from season six#joe and cleo are duet and chloe respectively. joe as duet fits. cleo as chloe does not but also no one else really fits chloe anyway so idc#no more wanting an undead boyfriend.... THEY are the undead boyfriend now.#i think we had uncle lance as iskall??? still not too sure#they both have beards tho. that's something#oh!! also rendog is galaham bc i said so.#anyway. please watch msa it's so so good.#(or watch hermitcraft if you haven't already. a new season started a while back it's the perfect time to join)#not sure if i'll draw more of this;; this is less an au and more just me being silly#but i hope y'all like it regardless!!
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game
okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh
anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending
edit: part two
#2024#isat two coins au#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#on technicality#isat#in stars and time#this was also an excuse to play with mira's hair again bc i wanna see her in braids so bad! with beads that click clack as she walks!#hairier isabeau... oh merciful neptune oh sweet aphrodite i thibk i hauve covid#also none of these outfits are like... definitive. i'm indecisive so i want everybody to have a wardrobe#LOOP'S HAT IS NOT SIFFRIN'S BTW they prioritized hiding from siffrin over finding where it landed oop that thing is GONE gone#that coin attached to the tip of that hat is also not siffrin's... but siffrin doesnt know that...#also hey yall ever think about how loop can kinda turn their light out and maybe be invisible? i do#anyway this au is also loop/siffrin/isabeau just fyi... also maybe the tiniest of shoutouts to loop/odile if i'm feeling cheeky#also also also... loop still uses they/them but there will be more feminine terms used for them in this au ;u;#baby finally started seeing themself as a person again and is reevaluating their gender#people around where they've been frequently traveling call them miss lu or some call them lady#eventually when the polycule is complete i want siffrin and isabeau to both call loop ''my lady'' bc the thought just makes me melt#you don't /need/ to know that but i'm telling you#okay i've been trying to articulate my thoughts in the tags for half an hour so i'll stop now...#have a good day/night i love you mwah mwah mwah
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Ted Lasso S02E02 Lavender || Ted Lasso S03E06 Sunflowers
#Ted Lasso#*mine: gif#tedlassoedit#Sam Obisanya#Toheeb Jimoh#Theodore Lasso#Jason Sudeikis#ted lasso spoilers#okay this was the last idea I had from Sunflowers and I'll now just not gif for a while since it's all been done before for the most part#sorry to the new people that started following after I went on gifmaking spree. this doesn't happen a lot :|#thank you to the 15 people who will reblog this. you are the real heroes#I'm still thinking about 15 unanswered text messages in total and the 15 sunflowers right it is 15 sunflowers#12 text messages + 3 gifs = 15 total messages..............
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My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for
More pictures under cut
#loscar#logan sargeant#ls2#oscar piastri#op81#and now starts the rant#my fave detail is probably tge eye. there few beads like this and they were laying around until my friend said that they look loscar relate#so o started making making whole thing around that bc in my opinion it's genius (also sorry this is gonna have extremely long tags bc i had#run out of them once. maximum is 30 apparently)#I'll go by lains from here so first obviously eagle. i think it's hilarious and what's even funnier is that i bought those charms before#even knowing who Logan was. just for shit and giggles#also to coala i added a bead on top to somewhat match the height#also i love mixing up their colours bc I'm insane about that. how they ideal negatives of eachother and how orange fits logan while blue-os#so i also mixed it up with those animals charms and their attachments here#next stop - oscar lane. there not a lot of black which is bas but at least last heart is actually black. beads above it represents eyes#(you can see with doodles) and next one is for his hair but i couldn't find how to show it#and round see through bead i use for his helmet bc it shines with red yellow and blue#middle part - i talked about the eye but also beads above it. i tried to match tones so they won't clash#then fish and i love that it's in form of heart bc i associate both of them with water so much i needed something here#and bead underneath that is for Logan eyes ofc. for doodles there tried to use brown so oscar would have blond/logan brown but didn't work#AND READ HEART. “-WELL IT'S NOT YELLOW” “PREMA RED THEN?”#as you can see I'm totally normal about their prema times plus i love how it stands out with everything else and can be read as#usual meaning of red hearts. also made out of corals so it fits them too#and last but not least - Logan my beloved#first and foremost STARS#I added as much as humanly possible party bc of American meme party bc i fucking love stars and associate him with them#also added all williams shades of blue and even white so it covers all that#okay no I lied a bit bc i used a button for their dark blue#another thing i would like to mention is metal ring bc it has extremely small hearts on it that you need to look for to notice#I HIT LIMIT FUCK.last thing to say is how I tried to play with circles in middle of every lane. okay goodbye
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Post hoc ergo propter hoc
A con of being friends with the White House Press Secretary, Jyn finds, is that the good-natured hazing in front of the rest of the press room goes on for far too long. Another is that Leia will absolutely not take no for an answer on the “mandatory tour”, even though she clearly doesn’t have time for it, going by the four aides that immediately besiege her as soon as they step out of the press room.
Jyn is sure there will be pros as well, but she hasn’t found any so far.
“Leia, Draven wants you in his office in half an hour about the HUD thing,” says the last of the aides, jogging to keep up with them.
“Thank you, Kate,” Leia says without stopping, her arm still firmly linked with Jyn’s. “I’m just going to finish the tour for Miss Erso here. She’s my latest charge, she took over for Hal.”
“Oh!” The aide smiles brightly and shakes her hand. “Congratulations, ma’am,” she says and disappears down a corridor.
“Four people have called me ma’am today.”
“Get used to it. This is the White House, it’s like a reflex.” Leia stops to delegate some more important press secretary business in the next office over – Jyn gathers it’s the Communications Office – then returns to scoop her up again and drag her down another hallway.
“You haven’t shown me a thing, Leia.”
“Well, that was Kleya Marki’s office, and down there’s the mess, that’s always important –“
Jyn has a sudden realization followed by a horrible, sinking feeling. “Leia, please tell me we’re not –“
Too late. Leia has spotted her prey at the end of the corridor, and pulls her towards him, smiling brightly and heels unmistakably loud on the polished floor.
“Cassian!”
Oh God. “Leia, come on, he’s busy. It’s my first day, he can –“
“Nonsense, he just looks busy. He always looks busy.” She grabs Jyn by the sleeve and drags her further down the hall. “Cassian, meet the new Post correspondent!”
Jyn stumbles along, feeling like an absolute fool for falling for Leia’s whole spiel and letting herself be dazzled by the West Wing of it all – and for knowing the guy she was stupidly, wildly in love with in college and then left without a word now worked in this building, and still putting off preparing what the fuck she would do when she actually met him again until, well… right now.
The man who has stopped at the end of the hall is in a fairly rumpled suit, carrying a stack of files and looks achingly familiar even from afar. For half a breath, she’s standing in some Yale hallway and is about to run to catch up with him and probably do something silly like try and tackle the papers out of his hands – and then she’s back in the West Wing and they’re all ten years older and successful, serious people again. And she’s back to wondering if he still knows her name. Or if he hates her. And which would be worse.
After a beat, he turns around and walks towards them, with a spooked look on his face like he, too, briefly tripped over ten years of baggage – or, of course, like he’s trying to place someone who looks vaguely familiar. Then something, probably the lawyer in him, takes over, and he fixes an easy, warm smile on his face. She always liked his smile. He looks older, and even more tired than he used to – naturally, he’s Deputy Chief of Staff to the president – but still, he looks good. His hair looks as soft as she remembers, which is a deeply unhelpful thought.
“Jyn.”
She feels stupidly relieved. “You do remember me.”
An offended frown pulls at his eyes. She always did like those, too. They’re such a nice brown, it doesn’t translate on pictures.
“Of course I remember you.”
(To be fair, it probably is insulting to assume he’d forget a girlfriend he had for seven months, but still. He’s busy, and at least it would mean he couldn't hate her for disappearing overnight and never picking up the phone again.) Jyn opens her mouth, closes it again, feels herself blush.
“He keeps your Baba O’Reily piece on his bookshelf, you know,” Leia says with a grin, still holding on to Jyn’s jacket like she’s scared she’ll try and make a run for it. The thought has occurred to her.
“Very funny, Leia,” Cassian says curtly and makes a vague gesture down the hallway. “I… I’d love to – I have the Secretary of Labor waiting, so –“
“It’s fine, I know you’re –”
“We should catch up, though,” he says absent-mindedly, sorting through his stack of files before adding, with a quick look up at her: “Off the record.”
“Right.”
“Maybe just come by my office before you leave, if you’re free,” he says, fiddling with the files that are starting to slip. “I’ll be here, and uh, marginally less busy.”
“Okay, yeah. Sure.”
“Great. Um - congratulations, Jyn, on the – I have to go.”
“Yeah.”
Leia watches him dart off, smirking. “So, you two are really over that whole thing, huh?”
[keep reading on Ao3!]
#rebelcaptainweek#with that title obviously it's a#west wing au#but i have found that when you cross a political show with a lot of pathos#and characters with a lot of trauma and baggage#the result is not... how do you say... lighthearted#so. much as i wanted this to be a 'secret plan to fight inflation' type story it's more of a 'two cathedrals' type story#(though minus the sudden character death don't worry lol)#anyway!#there is technically more of this but i'm worried i'll start a thing that needs finishing so i'm still on the fence about it#have this for now! (edit: okay people seem excited about this? i'll try and whip chapter two into shape soon ish)#jyn x cassian#rogue one#modern au#my words
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dont you guys ever just make random characters in those papa louie games?? in my case, its ALWAYS vocaloid.
#miikanui#i swear im normal#these games are such a life saver for me during classes 😭😭#ESPECIALLY CIVICS.#AND ENGLISH. (sometimes)#school is kicking my ass#well#okay not really#things have been getting easier now that im balancing work and rest#EXCEPT FOR LAST NIGHT. that doesnt count.#i guess the only thing i'm worried about is how my schedule is going to look now that drama production has started#auditions are gonna be starting soon and im absolutely TERRIFIED.#i shouldve stuck with what i did last year and done backstage#SNAP OUT OF IT MIKA#YOURE GONNA BE FINE AND YOURE GONNA GET A ROLE !! (delusional)#oh before i forget#i might be a little inactive with posting art due to school and this :( i'll try and post art to the best of my abilities !!#why am i even putting it here no one reads tags#oh well#thanks for reading the tags if you did !! have a good day/night and dont forget to eat and stay hydrated :)#actual tags now#vocaloid#hatsune miku#luka megurine#papa louie#flipline studios#papa's scooperia#papas games#miikanui !!
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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#okay. i'm starting to get the hang of these guys. the motherfuckers i couldn't get working before#i got valuable experience from farfetch'd. unfortunately for me‚ this experience is only really going to last as long as gen 8#once we get to scarlet/violet i have No clue what i'm gonna do. i'll just be fuckin lost on that front i guess#mr rime#but for now you can have the galarian forms. i did it :)
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Dedalus, Icarus, or something else completely?
Professor Clay Fermin from my AU to Bakugan: New Vestroia. Professor Fermin was born a Feline Vestal, but as he educated himself and worked his way up the social ladder, he decided that wouldn't do. He would not be seen as a lowly creature, he WAS NOT a lowly creature, he was going to be just like the aristocratic Avian Vestals, just as magnificent, just as great, just as... divine.
[(dramatically stylised) lore undercut!]
In the Vestal culture, anything avian is associated with the divine. Feathers, wings, you know the drill. This, conveniently, gives the aristocracy - consisting practically entirely of Avian Vestals - a spiritual permission for their power, something similar to how humans used to believe their kings were crowned by the will of their God. Any Avian Vestal can count on respect, even among the highborn. Avian Vestals are reckoned with.
However, it's difficult to say whether anyone but Clay Fermin himself sees him as a divine creature, as his form is unlike anything any Vestal has ever seen. (Or, well... What the general public has ever seen.) He does not switch between a pre-transition and transition form, and the state he's permanently locked in does not resemble either of the Avian forms. Avian Vestals' pre-transition forms do have feathery tails, as does professor Fermin, but they also have, say, small feathers on their faces and across their arms, and small talons for toes. Their transition forms have their entire arms turned to wings, their bodies are hunched and ribcages grown into those similar to birds, their faces change into beaks, their legs turn into scaly and animal ones. Never do they ever carry wings on their backs. And, come to think of it, they never have stitches where their wings and tails grow out. They never have scales on their chests, either. But that may be because they rarely take experimental chemicals. Either way, no Vestal has ever looked quite like professor Clay Fermin. Can he even fly in this bizarre form of his?
Something so strange, however, it commands fear as well as wonder. And a level of respect. After all, even though this strange creature is unlike any other, it does bear feathers and wings on its body. There is something terrifyingly divine about it.
#blood tw#tw blood#bakugan#bakugan au#clay fermin#professor clay#new vestroia#bakugan fanart#fanart#art#my art#that's my edgy post for the day#okay now I gotta slow down with drawing and get to writing#I need to get started on that “Zenoheld is Gus's dad” fic and finish it before I leave for holidays#and I'll do my best to do that (shoutout to the maruren user you'll know what I mean)
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for the genetically accurate warriors, perhaps ebonyclaw? I think shes very lovely and it would be nice to see her get some attention! no pressure tho!!
ebonyclaw LL, XoXo, BB, DD, dmdm, aa, II, ww wanna request a cat? see here: link
#you may notice she is not pure black#that's because to make this a LITTLE bit more interesting every so often i plan to throw in some random gene to these guys#it'll probably mostly appear on cats that dont have any family#but who knows maybe i'll mess around with cats that have more kin#it's just cuz if more people start doing genetically accurate cats and don't have a little bit of fun they're all going to look the same#which is boring#okay i'll shut up now#ebonyclaw#warrior cats#wc#wc designs#ray's genetically accurate designs
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#okay mystery solved i think i might just have depression again today#i have to put this in the tags because otherwise it might become a 'relatable' post whose existence i was constantly reminded of#why are tumblr posts either 2 Likes or half the fucking website reblogs it? why is there no middle ground here ever?#don't worry i've had depression for literally decades i've got pretty good at it by now 👍#just updating tumblr on my fascinating mental health dramas#i'll think of a distraction soon probably. but if i start a massive fight on the internet that's probably why oops.#i'll try not to !!!!!
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I'm hoping on Tumblr to just finish projects I started and never finished
Anyways Mr. Screamers partner in crime the I.
Bit of his backstory under the cut
Sky Warp ( SW)
The second in command of the second in command ( lol)
His thinner built is great for flexibility and agility
He has quite an explosive personality and does hold grudges very well
Nobody can escape his wrath and that coused few death on the decepticons side
But he does have a funny side to him
Being the joker in the decepticon hierarchy
Even making Megatron laugh
He also poses THE death stare that makes even shockwave shiver in his frame
He received his "battle scars" by Hound throwing a Starscream size shredder while he tried to Vortex out of his reach
Unfortunately Houd was faster and when he have thrown The shredder in the Vortex SW
Got stuck with it in the "Middle ground" and suffered quite a damage to his frame
Completely shredding off his left side
And doing a serious damage to his right side of this frame and his processor
Lucky for him ( unlucky for autobots) the damages were reperable and he asked knockout if he could actually keep some of his "wounds" claiming that younger mechs have more respect for beaten up mech ( he was barely responsive while saying that)
"His damage could've been prevented by having a proper armor and not flying around half naked on a battle field" - Knockout to Starscream
Anyways thank you for reading my non grammar nonsense ( I can't bring myself to write more bc Impostor syndrome and nobody caring)
🦐💛
And the whole thing
#I hated the old design I did and since I started taking this hobby of mine a bit too seriously I started watching tutorials and yeah#I think I improved pretty well ( looking and my old drawings)#I'll now just hop on Tumblr finish TF1 Arcee and my re design of THE Elite trine#And then just occasionally post bc this isn't worth it#Truhly I though that Instagram could've worked out ( it didn't)#So moved to Tumblr it's okay it's just I lost the motivation#transformers#maccadam#transformers idw#redesign#skywarp
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I'm not gonna put this on the other post cuz I don't really want it rebloggable but I do want to specify that like, yes I was being dramatic about Essek in terms of affect, but every part of that post is also quite literally a description of my experience with a creative field that is pretty centralized around a few locations and that has made it stringently difficult to enter and stay in the field. There are obviously monumentally different aspects around those circumstances, but like... look I left Los Angeles literally two weeks after the c2 finale with a very clear understanding that once I did, I was not going back, and that because of that, my career would never look like I'd wanted it to in any capacity, and in fact it was likely that it meant I would not work in the field I'd trained for ever again, and also knew it was the only choice that made sense if I wanted to, like, have a life. And I do! And it's great! And it still makes me very upset to think about for many reasons! So you can see why I have a lot of feelings about the whole situation.
#also to be clear i did not go into the field with some naivete about 'making it'#i started college in a time period where i distinctly recall having conversations with people like#'well it's gonna be hard for everyone to find a job so might as well go try to do what i want'#and lo and behold. it is in fact hard for everyone to find a job. most people i know do not work in the field their degree is in#and if they do they are not paid enough. frankly if they don't they're usually not paid enough either.#I'm sure most people reading this have the same experience but like. i would not even say i was naive about my job prospects at 17 lmfao#basically like. @ everyone like 'okay but this is literally exactly my experience' we are shaking hands#(and this def does apply to a lot of industries it really is fucking. rough. hell world.)#like! i do think a lot of people do not want to recognize that essek is. very relatable. to a decent amount of people.#way beyond the surface level. anyway I'll shut up now
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