#okay maybe i need to go to bed
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can my feet stop fucking pooling blood
#why is everything hashtag overwhelming right now#sooo annoyed#urhgh#okay maybe i need to go to bed#didnt i say id sleep eadrly 2 ntie LMAOO#it is 111#oh hey#cool#ughhhhhhhhh fffffffff#tears my skin off#micetalk#idk why my feet do that though they get so warm and staticy and painful and god STOP?#this usually happens when i m standing now its coming for sitting and laying down like oh my godddddd#bloodlet my fucking feet or SOMETHING GOD!
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Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.
When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"
Or
2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.
#epic the musical#epic spoilers#Itacha saga#penelope#Odysseus#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#Young odypen courting was filled with wacky nonsense basically canon confrimed#The line “....where we first met” implying that they first met under that specific olive tree#Which has to have some absolutely insane logistics that only odypen (and maybe Athena) could pull off#Odypen being 🥰 🤝 rat bastards in love#Option one odysseus Athena please please please helpppp me pen said she'd only marry me if I made a wedding bed out of this tree#Athena: once again I think you are praying to the wrong person but fuck it how do you think you're going to keep that tree alive#Odysseus: ....a large bucket?#Athena gimme a sec okay I need to go have ares bash my skull in before I watch something this stupid#Athena: checking in on penelope her chosen weaver only for her to be pulling her hair out#Penelope (to her cousins): why did I fucking say that! Beating fathers already an impossible challenge why did I say that#He's going to think I was making fun of him! He's not going to want to marry me now!#Helen: weren't you? Making fun of him?#Penelope: That's not the point!#clytemnestra: Hey he's digging the tree up and has the biggest bucket I've ever seen#Penelope: what?! Trips over every item in the room and gets tangled in her curtains blushing like crazy#Athena: ....it's been a while since I checked up on diomedes training. He'd never put me through this nonsense#Option 2#Helen's maybe a little nervous and wants to know more about who she has to potentially marry and penelope promises her she'll get rundown#Helen did not expect penelope to disappear but she probably should have....it'll probably be fine. Right?#Some kings penlope just straight up greets some she stays hidden and spies#Odysseus is the only one who catches her (he trains woth Athena in the olive Grove#She was not happy when odysseus nearly tripped onto her spear point face first when he saw the strange pretty girl)#And odysseus who's been king for a few years now knows every lady's face because he'll probably have to marry one of them someday
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Miss, it's time to go to bed. Are you on your phone again? Sleeping late will ruin your lovely skin. This is the final warning. If you don't fall asleep now, We are going to dance. - "잘자요 아가씨" by ASMRZ
found this song and i was possessed to draw @starriegalaxy's butler Eclipse dancing to it
(also i apologize in advance for my horrendous hiragana, hangul, and cursive)
Textless, effectless version under the cut!
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fear factor au#he's sweet and multilingual#and his silly little dance will charm you all#the power of shoujo compels you#me drawing the roses: maybe people will be too distracted by the pretty butler bot to notice i don't know what i'm doing#me writing the hiragana hangul and cursive: maybe people will be too distracted by the pretty butler bot to notice i don't know what i'm do#took some creative liberties by giving him a tail coat#because he needed more sway to his silhouette#and i like tail coats#this is also lowkey a surprise for starrie after he presentation today#after i finished drawing i saw another translation that goes#“oh dear mischievous princess”#which is also good#but i like how “this lady is unstoppable” is also kinda motivating too haha#i'm not fluent so i don't know which is closer tho#i know “やれやれ” can be translated to “good grief” but i felt like “oh dear” fit the tone better#crab art#digital art#bright colours#okay i'm going to bed now before butler Eclipse dances the night away
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What if people started saying "I need to exercise more" or "I need to eat a bit healthier" instead of "I need to lose weight"
You can be healthy and fat
#and also#you dont need to be healthy all the time#some people will never be healthy#stop trying to be overly healthy if its at the cost of your happiness and mental health#you can eat junk food every once in a while and you dont need to feel bad about it#you can eat sweets#you can lie in bed all day if you need to just chill out and get some proper rest#you dont need to constantly be healthy and at the top of your game#stiff talk#delete later#maybe idk#this will probably stay up who knows#man it just hurts me when someone whos healthy and who looks good says “i need to lose weight”#like yea okay if thats what you wanna do go for it#but i think youre fine as you are#idk man im just rambling
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qpr navyseal fic cause gill knows how to paint somehow :D
#coni fics#ok im goin to bed. maybe. hopefully.#if its bad i apologise /hj#also i have eight user subscriptions. wild to me. okay yeah i really need to go to bed
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I know they're not ACTUALLY related but I need a L&DS Zayne and MLQC Victor story crossover.
They have the same last name (yes, I know it is spelt and pronounced differently and they have different meanings BUT HEAR ME OUT-) but maybe a story where Zayne and Victor are somehow blood-related and each of their MCs meeting and they just hang out together. Maybe a family reunion or smth IDK
#love and deepspace#zayne#love and deepspace zayne#zayne love and deepspace#mlqc#mr love queen's choice#victor#mlqc victor#mr love victor#imma stop yapping#but i would love to see both of my fav men interact with each other#maybe i need to go to bed instead of being on blender at 1am#but they kinda look like they're related too#and their evols are kinda related in one way or another#like. Zayne can use his ice to freeze things just like how victor can use his Time evol to freeze time#JUST AN IDEA OKAY!!!
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I am never active here. I need to be more active but I just CANT
OKAY MOB AU VOICE ACTING @clownsuu
Yawns loudly
#welcome home#welcome home arg#welcome home fandom#barnaby b beagle#voice acting#wally darling#howdy pillar#mob au welcome home#welcome home mob au#mob wally darling#mob barnaby#mob howdy#mob sally#im so tired chat i might go to bed if my roleplay partner dont get on#we barley just started#okay enough of that#im scared of tumblr is that a bad thing???#i need to post VA here more often#maybe once i learn art I'll post art.
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sometimes when I have a moment ta think ta myself I step back and really reflect on how out of all the characters I've simped for, springtrap has been the longest lasting. and for what reason. why did my brain pick that guy. you know. the rotting corpse inside of a moldy bunny suit. that's the guy we wanna be insane over? okay.
#he also doesn't really follow the pattern of characters I've simped for b/c they were all rays of sunshine#and then there's this stinky man#that beautiful beautiful stinky man#see look my brain is doing it again#the fondness I feel for him is uncomparable ta the feelings I've felt for other characters#like it's not even close#spacie spoinks#I was crazy Abt rengoku once upon a time but that only lasted a couple months#like yeah springtrap is a combo of every character type/style/trope i like but he sucks balls#major balls dude#sighs.#I need him#i want to court him springtrap why aren't you reallllll#okay I'm going ta bed djdjdndndnndn#maybe I'll have another cute dream of him giving me a hug or something (unlikely)#would be nice tho
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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the face of a miserable little beast who tried to herd me to bed for an hour
#pidge pets#okay maybe i do need to start going tk bed earlier 😭😭😭#grandma wants to SLEEP#babygirl there are three beds in the living room you can sleep whenever!!@#in fact thats all you do usually!!!#but she likes to go to bed WITH me#in sookie's world we go to bed at 9pm and wake up at noon
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.
#mithrun#i'm not devaluing his intelligence#i feel like both can be true - that someone can be really smart but also take really stupid actions conversely#i fucking KNOW i do all the time#and i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the word#it's not that his intelligence is compromised in any sense or that i think he's incapable#and it is solely#the fact that he is a stubborn little guy who doesn't listen and just goes 'that won't work' / 'i don't want to' / etc.#like... BUDDY...#buddy BOY#dummy#you are NOT a good judge of this ok?#zip ya lip little man#i know what you are#and i ain't fuckin listening to ya!#god. 'that won't work'. blah blah blah. okay sleepy. see you next panel.#fuckin knew that was going to happen#'i'm not tired' (his body stops working and he doesn't know why)#oh. OH. you're NOT? buddy i KNOW what happened ok? you need some fuckin rest#like - i'm gonna kick your legs out from under you + you're going to fall gently into bed + i tuck you in and smooch you#but i also fucking complain because OF COURSE YOU'RE TIRED ! you bastard ! go sleepy bye#it's his poor decisions and i know why he does them - because he doesn't know - but by god#it's also a little like please... listen to yourself...#on the one hand he doesn't know and never will#on the other hand ... you have been awake for hours and hours without sleep... please get some rest...#but yeah as someone who forgets needs and has little sense of that it is like... objectively a stupid experience#and i don't say that with judgement in my heart but it feels REALLY stupid when your body does something and you don't know why#it's not the disability though that makes me say as much - it is fully the fact that he is SO STUBBORN! SO STUBBORN!!!!#you say you're not tired and fall down? hm? then maybe you are? i know you don't know but whatever. let's get you to bed boy. ok?#caring for him + shaking my head like i get it so much but you gotta sleep! 'this won't work'. ok liar... i already know it will.
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Coming out of depression or burnout or writer's block or intense life stressors as a creator online is so weird because you are supposed to have a social media presence all the time and have projects going all the time, but of course you don't (and can't and no one can). And obviously that wasn't happening during your time spent in the Phantom Zone but then you start to come out of that, and you are working again, or thinking about it, and you are excited and feeling better but also have nothing to post because everything is only in the beginning or middle stages. But you can't think about that, because then the 'I have nothing to offer' shame spiral will drag you back into not doing anything. But meanwhile, you still need to post something because this is the current late stage capitalism hellscape of needing to do your own promo and having an online presence, so all your fun motivated energy now must be turned to the promo shit and not the actual work shit, and wouldn't it be easier just to not do anything at all? No I'm not going through anything says the person who just did a newsletter that had zero news in it and hasn't posted serious anywhere in a while.
#to be fair i haven't gotten much reaction the last few times i posted to patreon#and social media is so all over the place now it's like do i double post my nonsense to threads and bluesky#and tumblr also gets seems to get minimal responses these days so maybe i should just go back to bed#...i will start writing in a minute it's okay these characters need to get out of my head#but it's all very... very right now
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.
#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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