#okay he just wrote my life down and sung it through every song of his | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

finelinevogue · 3 years ago

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hey! first of all i’m obsessed with all of your writing i swear i cry every single time😭🤍 i look forward to reading your stuff when i get home from work, and it helps me when i’m stressed. so basically hi i love you. i recently celebrated 1 year sober and i was wondering if you could write something abou harry dedicating a song to his gf for maintaining her sobriety? (only if you’re comfortable ofc!)

hi, i love you too! sorry for making you cry😭 your words are so kind and you’ve made my day so much brighter! congratulations on your one year sobriety!!! i hope you’re very proud of yourself, because i’m really proud of you - always <33 i’m not sure what you are sober for and i don’t to be invasive and ask, so i decided to base this one off an alcohol addiction. this one’s for you, my lovely; (oh and p.s. let’s pretend harry wrote ‘home’ just for you and one direction never wrote it!)

Today you celebrated being one year sober.

Four years ago you developed an alcohol addiction. It was the worst time of your life; going to parties just to wake up still paralytic, drinking an alcoholic drink with every meal and a couple in between, falling asleep drunk every night and not learning your lesson from the hangover the next morning. You were self destructing and were too gone to see it happen. The people around you could see it happening though. Your family and friends abandoned you because you they believed you were a lost cause. You were alone for 3 lonely years, until last year you met Harry.

The one time that you were actually sober, shopping in your local Aldi, was the first time you met him.

He was dressed from a run and was in the fridge section to grab himself a protein shake before he was about to run home - that you’d come to learn. He made minimal conversation with you, but it was enough for him to fall for you - hard. Every time you met up with him you tried to be as sober as you could, but it caught up to you. You slipped and shut yourself out from him, not wanting him to leave you like everyone else had so you left him first.

As it would be, he never left you. He saved you.

He was there for you in your darkest moments. He was there to help lock your demons away and introduce life back into your heart and soul. You wanted to be better for him, he deserved that much. Half a year after meeting him, he managed to encourage you to attend counselling sessions which you would be worse without. He made calls to friends to help you re-connect with people, truly friendly people. He hugged you on the days you felt anxious or tempted and let you cry on his shoulder when you felt like a failure, all the whilst he would kiss your forehead and squeeze you to remind you just how much you were loved and just how proud he was of you. It took you a while to believe it, but;

Harry Styles loves and is proud of you.

You were so happy to spending the day with him, getting to watch him do what he loves so much. He was in Denver, Colorado, tonight and his set was going perfect so far. He’d given his infamous “ass or face” speech, which made the fans go wild. He, unfortunately, had to use the oxygen mask to replenish his lungs because he wasn’t feeling great. He’d even shouted to you when you were blowing him kisses saying, “I wanna kiss you but I can’t” which made you tear up ever so slightly. Today was such a proud and happy day for you, so extra moments like this for you were the cherries on the top of the cake.

“Okay, so we have 15 more minutes of love tonight for you.” Harry spoke into his microphone, after singing Treat People With Kindness and looking so very sweaty. “15 minutes of extra love compared to the previous show.” The fans screamed at this and you knew the fans in Vegas would no doubt be extra jealous.

“He’s allowed to do that?” You asked Jeff beside you, wondering why he was changing the timings all of a sudden. He hadn’t told you about this.

“He specifically requested it before going onstage.” Jeff answered, winking at you and nodding his head back to the stage for you to focus.

“Now. Today is not only special because I get to play in front of you lovely people,” the crowd let out a deafening scream, “but because it is an important day for my Y/N.” He smiled, looking over in your direction. The crowd screamed even louder for you.

“What is he doing?” You asked Jeff but he only smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Liar, you thought.

You’d never publicly told anyone about your addiction because it was something that you were embarrassed about. You hated who you were and you tried your hardest not to think about that person anymore. Harry was the only person who knew and you liked to keep it that way, for the time being. Not even your new friends knew.

“I’m so proud of Y/N, always, but especially today.” Harry spoke, walking down the stage to the end of the runway where his mic was set up and still keeping eye contact with you. Your tears were full in your eyes and some even streaming down your face as you took in his words.

He’d spent all morning loving on you. He didn’t let you two leave the hotel room until 5 minutes before the buses were leaving, because he wanted to spend as much time as possible showing you just how much he loved you. Turns out 4 rounds of sex, 2 blowjobs and 3 times getting eaten out doesn’t even come close to showing that, according to him, but it did make you feel worthy and that’s all you’ve wanted to feel for the past few years. He made you feel worth it - it being loved and supported and safe. He was your blanket of comfort and you’d let him swallow you up every day for the rest of your life if it meant feeling this way forever.

Harry had even bought you a card and a cake, one that had a singular candle in to mark your one year anniversary of being sober. The sense of pride getting to blow out that candle was a feeling second to none, except from maybe the 7 orgasms you were given.

“So if you don’t mind, i’m going to sing this song for my girlfriend. It’s new, but i’m sure you’ll pick up the chorus. This is called ‘Home’ and it’s just for you, m’love.” God damn these tears, you could barely see Harry pick up his galaxy painted guitar and tilt his body so he was facing you.

The song had you in tears.

Fans were both recording you and Harry, but you were too unaware to notice them when all you could focus on were the words he was singing to you. Every line was so clear and it made your heart burst through your chest that little bit more each time. You cupped your hands under your vin as you cried over every new line of song, watching him strum on the guitar and sing his heart out as if every ounce of him was just for you. His words, his voice, his heart and soul were completely yours. The fans did quickly pick up the chorus and the atmosphere was completely still, yet electric with them feeding off Harrys energy and gifting it to you.

“You’ll never feel like you’re alone, i’ll make this feel like home.”

His last line was sung and his last chord was struck and you couldn’t move an inch. You were stuck watching him with intense loved eyes, feeling an overwhelming sense of support and comfort just from this moment alone. You thought what he’d given you this morning in the hotel was love, but now you questioned that. This felt like a reminder you were free and safe and found. You felt significant. And for a moment, that all felt a like bit stronger than love.

You didn’t even realise your boyfriend was standing in front of you until he was. He caressed your cheek in one hand, holding the neck of his guitar with his other. The fans were being caged behind a barricade, but they weren’t even violently pushing because they wanted to see how he treated you and acted around you behind closed doors. Your relationship was very private, so this was very new for you too. You liked him close though. So much so that everyone else sort of slipped away.

“That bad?” He asked teasingly, referring to the amount of tears you were crying.

“Was a bit rusty in some places.” You teased back, you and him both knowing you didn’t mean a word that you’d just said. You both laughed until you caught Harrys hand on your cheek and moved it so you could plant a soft kiss to his palm. “Thank you for making me feel home.” You smiled, new tears forming in both yours and his now.

“Thank you for being my home.” He replied, smiling through the light tears.

“Stop crying,” you laughed through your own tears, reaching out your other hand to wipe his away, “not very rockstar of you.”

“Can’t help myself when i’m so proud of you.” He answered, moving his hand off his guitar so he could help wipe your tears away. Both of you were helping each other recover, forgetting about the world just for a minute to have a moment with each other. You both deserved that much.

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 3 years ago

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perfect now - a close reading

only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries

some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure

((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))

⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive

SUMMARY

you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb

what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in

never gonna dance again frenzy

identity

louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3

walls, track 10

～ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”

You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss

later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities

I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you

“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is

i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective

～ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you”

～ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”

～ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”

On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance

when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”

“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you

“given half the chance”

～ tpwk “giving/given second chances”

given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up

term of endearment <3

～ dlibyh

this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me

Don’t hide away, don’t ever change

“be happy, proud”

～ “just hold on”

“pick someone who’s supportive”

Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away

don’t look away from me

～ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”

Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my

they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own

could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene

～ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”

I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now

“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply

they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it

gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)

～ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!

～ falling

～ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”

You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you

“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true

Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone

Good to you even at your worst

～ always you

i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more

～ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second)

～ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you

You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed

reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance

L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them

Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away

“it’s hard to miss”

L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong

～ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”

SYNTHESIS

Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song.

As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway

basically through the dark’s chorus:

Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark

It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.

I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...

Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.

Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.

Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song.

What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying

It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.

#wow i thought this one was gonna be easier #i always do why do i think that???#every time i look closer into l's lyrics i see more depth #this is all just a perfect mushy mess so it's on brand for me #perfect now analysis #lyric analysis #my posts #parallels

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rivalsforlife · 3 years ago

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Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways.

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with.

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”.

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint.

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?”

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim.

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument.

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket.

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor?

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that.

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay.

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship.

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine.

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

#ace attorney #phoenix wright the truth reborn #idk maybe someone wanted to know what the first musical was like without actually watching it?#my essays #my posts #i'm TIRED i'm going to BED goodNIGHT #this is less funny jokes and more actually criticizing the musical #because so much of this is like. wow. you really thought that was a good idea huh #just skip to the feenie sweater part honestly that's the funniest part of this musical

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lochtayboatsong · 4 years ago

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The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend. I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?” It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since. I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen. The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now. But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song. It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it. Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone. Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story. Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back. Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene. Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about. First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood. The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad. (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.) One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time. Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it. After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time. Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’” And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son. Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits. LOVE IT. Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.” Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again. It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.” Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus. If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus.

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song. Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show. The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one. Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave. It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this. But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome. The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them. Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show. This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool. Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it. The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc. Love it. And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark. I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes. And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes. (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.) Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions. A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves. Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes. Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score. Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way. Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT. John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions. The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING. Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition. But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene. Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that. Case in point: King Herod. There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.” He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him. In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE.

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves. Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly. This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show. Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production. This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in. The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power. In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene. Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course. Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red. Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.” And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing. Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial. But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business.

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show. Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this. There are soul singers. There are girls in skimpy angel costumes. The parkour guys from the prologue are back. Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song. And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So. I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. :)

#jesus christ superstar #jcs 2012 #jcs is all i have been thinking about all week sorry not sorry #ben forster #tim minchin #melanie c #andrew lloyd webber #tim rice

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casnextdoor · 3 years ago

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PAPER HEART

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a/n; i wrote this solely because i have fallen in love with jk’s cover of tori kelly’s paper hearts . i bawled my eyes out to it while reading ‘under the sky in room 553 i discovered you and i’ it was VERY ANGSTY and i was sad . 10/10 def recommend. anywho enjoy

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The lights around the stage were bright, blinding. The fans were loud, a consistent chant of Jungkook’s stage name the only thing being heard in the stadium. Even after two months of seeing and hearing this night after night, he still couldn’t believe this was all for him. It was always at the end of his set, when he’d sit on the wooden stool in the dead centre of the stage, that he’d hear your voice. He’d hear you telling him he deserved this and more. You were supposed to be here.

He waited for the stadium to quiet, and just like every night prior, the fans' loud roar turned into ambient muttering. So with a heavy heart, he deposited a guitar pick from his pocket and started experimentally picking and strumming at the acoustic guitar that sat comfortably on his thighs. He knew the cords like the back of his hand -- having played it for you more times than he could count -- so he found his rhythm with ease.

It felt like just yesterday when you’d sat with him in his studio, helping him create the song that would break his heart every time he played it.

Your smile. That's what really caught his attention that day. Everyday since the two of you had met, he’d picked another physical feature of yours to obsess over every time he’d see you. Your perfect set of pearly whites with a little bit of an overbite had his heart beating recklessly against his ribcage today. The septum piercing hanging right above your cupid's-bow fell over your lips when they’d pulled up into that signature grin of yours. He’d die happy if it were the last thing he’d ever seen, he’d decided.

You’re guitar -- the black one he’d gifted you sophomore year as an early birthday gift -- hung loosely over your shoulder in its case. It made him smile that you’d kept after so long -- that you’d kept him around for so long.

“Okay, Noona. Why are we here?” Jungkook wouldn’t lie, he had never gotten dressed as quickly as he had when he’d received a text from you telling him to meet you at his studio. He almost ran out of the dorms with no shoes on -- he hadn’t seen you in weeks.

“Remember when you told me you couldn’t write? When you said you couldn’t find lyrics to go to the guitar piece you composed?” You’d excitedly plopped down on the black leather couch on the other side of his studio; you’d picked that couch.

Jungkook hummed, eyeing you skeptically. He didn’t know where this was going. Looking back now, he should’ve had a clue; this was such a you thing to do, after all. But at the time, he had no idea where this conversation or impromptu meet up was headed.

“Well, fret no longer, my friend. I spent all night writing you lyrics.” Your smile was so big and your hands were a bit fidget-y as you unzipped your guitar case; a tell-tale sign that you had been drinking coffee again. It was painfully endearing that you’d stayed up all night just writing him lyrics. And he found it absolutely adorable that instead of waiting until the morning to call him, you’d texted him at two in the morning, demanding that he meet you. He had to purse his lips to refrain from smiling too hard.

“You do realize it's almost three in the morning, right, Flower?” Jungkook’s amused chuckle caused an embarrassing amount of heat to course through your body. You nodded sheepishly, hands gripping nervously at the neck of your guitar. You’d pray he couldn’t see how nervous you were so you instead pulled your lips up into a scowl and huffed out an annoyed breath.

“Do you wanna hear ‘em or not?” There was no real edge to your voice, and Jungkook knew you’d just been looking for a way to channel your nerves into something less embarrassing than a nervous chuckle.

He nodded, leaning back into his rolling office chair and had he always been so big? His gaze never left you and you could almost feel the weight of his eyes on you. You’d avert your gaze away from him and down toward the strings of your guitar, in fear that if you look at him, he’d hear the loud love confessions your brain was screaming at him. You grumbled at him to record a voice memo -- you were not going to give him your lyric book.

You’d picked and strummed at the guitar until you’d found and stayed with the melody you were looking for. You played the sequence for a bit longer just to make sure you wouldn’t mess up. You figured you were ready after about thirty seconds of just blue music. So you cleared your voice and started singing.

Remember the way you made me feel, such young love but,

Jungkook realized that no matter what you’d written, he would’ve loved it anyway -- it was you, after all.

Something in me knew that it was real. Frozen in my head.

Pictures I’m living through for now

Trying to remember all the good times

He could listen to you for hours. There was something so serene, he thought, about listening to the love of your life sing a song they’d written just for you.

Our life was cutting through so loud. Memories are playing in my dull mind.

Has his gaze always been this heavy? Has your heart always beat this fast for him? Have you always wanted someone to love you back this much? No, you supposed you hadn’t. But there’s a first for everything.

I hate this part, paper hearts. And I’ll hold a piece of yours.

Don’t think I would just forget about it.

Hoping that you won’t forget about it.

That was four years ago. Four years ago. He remembered staring at you while you sang the entire song. He remembered just watching you in silence for five minutes. He remembered the way you bit down at your lip and avoided his gaze like the black plague. He remembered leaning forward and pulling your lip from under your teeth. He remembered the way he brushed his nose against yours and telling you -- his flower -- how much he loved it, the song. He remembered kissing you and taking you right there in the studio. He remembered just how gorgeous you were in such a euphoric state. He remembered he told you he loved you more times than he could count that night.

And he remembered the chaos that ensued after, leading you to giving him full custody and access to the song and moving out of the city. Just to get away from him.

He hadn’t sung the song or even recorded it since. He listened to the voice memo with the song and your beautiful euphoric sounds on it every night for two months. He’d cried to that memo. He’d gotten off to that memo. And soon he had to move it to the archives; he wouldn’t allow himself to break anymore.

A part of moving on is making amends. He was in your town because of touring. And before he knew what he was doing, he was adding the song to the performance sequence and shooting you a text.

I’m in your city. For a tour of course. And I’m singing paper hearts for the first time tonight. And I want you to sing it with me. If your email is the same I’ll send you a guest pass. You don’t have to come, but… I would love it if you did :)

You’d left him on delivered. You hadn’t even opened the message. He sent the pass anyway, hoping to the heavens that you would receive it.

He strummed at the guitar strings, trying to keep his eyes from scanning the crowd for you. But when he started singing he couldn’t help but look for those gorgeous eyes and that bright smile he hadn’t seen in four years.

Everything is gray under these skies, wet mascara

Hiding every cloud under a smile, when there’s cameras

And I just can’t reach out to tell you

That I always wonder what you’re up to

That isn’t my voice, he thought, eyebrows creasing in confusion as he looked toward the stage manager who was normally off on the right wing.

And there you were. You were still as beautiful as he remembered. Just as breathtaking as he remembered.

You walked toward him, steps slow and calculated as you stopped just behind him, placing a soft hand onto his shoulder and pressing your front to his back.

Your hand slid down his chest as you used his physical form to ground you and keep you level headed; he was just as good looking as he was all those years ago and you couldn’t help but replay that night in the studio as you reached the next verse.

Pictures I’m living through for now, Trying to remember all the good times

Our life was cutting through, Memories are playing in my dull mind

I hate this part, paper hearts. And I’ll hold a piece of yours

Don’t think I would just forget about it. Hoping that you won’t forget about it.

Jungkook stopped singing completely -- he loved it when you sang this part.

I live through pictures as if I was right there by your side

But you’ll be good without me and if I could just give you some time I’ll be alright.

And then there was nothing. No screaming fans, no guitar, no singing. It was just you. And him. In the middle of this big sea called the universe. Because you’d come back to him. You’d found your way back to him and he decided right then he wouldn’t let you go.

So with the hand that was just gripping the neck of the guitar, he was lightly gripping the back of your neck, pulling you down firmly. He brushed his nose against yours before whispering:

“It's beautiful, Flower. Where’d you learn to sing like that?” You laughed at that.

“I learned from the best, Kookie.” And then his lips were on yours and the entire world really disappeared.

#bts #jungkook angst #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook x female reader #jungkook x reader

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gwynsnesta · 3 years ago

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Take On The World - Gwynriel

Gwyn and Emerie had been invited for a dinner at the River House with the Inner Circle. It would be near the tenth time the two Valkyrie’s had been invited. Their High Lady and High Lord seemed to like them very much. Azriel couldn’t blame them. Not even Amren could find something to hate about them. They were too kind and perfect.

Azriel had winnowed Gwyn in while Mor, herself, had gotten Emerie from Windhaven. Gwyn had been so nervous when Az had gone to check on her. She was pacing back and forth believing that she was a burden and only being invited because they wanted to see Emerie. That Nesta would get piss if they left her out. He assured her that wasn’t the case.

“But what if they actually hate me and they’re just lying about it?” Gwyn had asked with tears in her eyes. His shadows had given her a comforting hug before Azriel was allowed to. He stayed with her and listened to all her worries.

“Honey, they love you. Just like I do.” He kissed her forehead, “You’re Auntie Gwyn to Nyx. I don’t think they’d give you that title if they didn’t like you.” He murmured and she chuckled lightly against his chest. “You are a part of our family. Our friend. You paint with Feyre every weekend. You and Rhys have a bond like Nesta and I, Cassian and Feyre. You’re our family too.” He would tell her time and time again. For all eternity if need me. Because she deserved it.

“You better not be lying to me.” Gwyn would say back. Azriel couldn’t help but truly laugh at this. “I would never lie to you, Gwynie.” He whispered as his shadows danced for her. “You’re mine and I am yours. Always and forever.”

“Always and forever.” She replied.

They arrived quickly because they were already running behind due to Gwyn’s almost breakdown. Not that Azriel would complain. One day at a time for the both of them. Feyre had greeted them at the door with a hug to each and a kiss on the cheek. Everyone else was already here.

Nesta and Cassian laughing with Lucien who had his arm wrapped around Elain as she smiled. He may have once felt love for her but now he felt the sibling love. She was his sister. Lucien was slowly becoming a brother. Amren was having a private chat with Varian. Rhys, Mor and Emerie were playing with Nyx, and Feyre chatted along with Gwyn about her training and their painting classes.

It was well into the night, after they ate, when everyone was starting to wind down that Rhys and Cassian had almost cornered Azriel. “What?” He had snapped after being split from Gwyn who was on the other side of the room with Nesta.

“We want you to sing.” Cassian replied back smirking.

“And why would I do that?” Az muttered trying to keep one eye on his brothers and the other on Gwyn.

“Because you haven’t sung for us.” Rhys told him, “Gwyn has. You haven’t. You aren’t equals if you haven’t both sung.” Cassian nodded to Rhys.

“You’re telling me that Gwyn and I aren’t equals because she’s sung for you and I haven’t?” Azriel raised a brow, “You’re both fucking delusional.” His brothers gave him a big pout but it wouldn’t work on him.

“Oh please sing!” Gwyn clapped happily. He looked up at her and she’d moved from across the room to behind his brothers. “You have such a wonderful voice, Az.” She seemed so happy and he didn’t want to ruin it.

“One song and that’s it. For at least another five hundred years.” Azriel responded.

“Deal!” Cassian almost shouted.

Azriel took the centre of the room with his Rhys passing him a guitar from his other-worldly cupboard. It still creeped Az out at times. How one thing wasn’t there and the next minute it was.

“Thank you.” He muttered to Rhys as he began his song. One he wrote himself for a certain redhead. He didn’t care if he was her mate or not. He cared that he loved her. Who needs a mating bond when he has the best woman ever.

Just say the word

We'll take on the world

Just say you're hurt

We'll face the worst, oh

Azriel’s eyes moved to Gwyn. Everyone held their breaths at the lovely sound of his voice. Such love and such care inside each word. His heart felt full, his body felt warm. He felt… happy.

I can see, see the pain in your eyes

Oh believe, believe me and I have tried

No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through

You should know, I wish it was me not you

And just say the word

We'll take on the world

And just say you're hurt

We'll face the worst

Gwyn held tears in her eyes. Az hadn’t moved his eye contact from her. There was only her. No one else. He couldn’t imagine his life without her. If something would ever happen - he just couldn’t. His shadows swarmed around her, dancing to his song. Playing with her hair. Grabbing at her.

Nobody knows you the way that I know you

Look in my eyes I will never desert you

And just say the word

We'll take on the world

And it's the fight

The fight of our lives

You and I we were made to thrive

Oh yeah

And I am your future

And I am your past

Never forget we were built to last

Azriel watched as Gwyn’s cheeks blushed. He didn’t care that there were other people here. To him at that moment there weren’t.

Step out of the shadows and into my life

Silence the voices thay haunt you inside

And just say the word

We'll take on the world

And just say you're hurt

We'll face the worst

Azriel meant every lyric. He’d face the worst with Gwyn. All her nightmares, their pasts, their future together. As long as he had her by his side, he’d be okay. Dead or alive. Together forever and always.

Nobody knows you the way that I know you

Look in my eyes I will never desert you

And just say the word

We'll take on the world

Oh oh oh oh

And nobody knows you

The way that I know you

And nobody knows you

The way that I know you

He felt something snap into place as he watched Gwyn’s reaction. Azriel knew what it was but he was too afraid to admit it. At least yet.

We'll fight, we'll crawl, into the night

I won't let go with you by my side

The calm, the storm we'll face it all

But the word echoed in his mind like a chant. His mate. Mate.

And just say the word

We'll take on the world

And nobody knows you

The way that I know you

Look in my eyes I will never desert you

And just say the word (just say the just say the word)

We'll take on the world

Take on the world

When he finished they all clapped. Gwyn was by his side in a minute placing a delicate kiss on his lips as her tears fell. He hadn’t realised he held tears of his own until she wiped them away. Az held her tightly as he stood.

“Bloody hell!” Cassian patted him on the back, “You’re one lucky girl, Gwyn.” He laughed proudly.

“I’m the lucky one.” Azriel corrected. She blushed furiously. He smiled at her and kissed the side of her forehead as his other family members said how proud they were.

The night drawled on until Azriel winnowed Gwyn home. She was half asleep as he held her in his arms from the River House to his bedroom. Their bedroom. They’d moved in together even if they hadn’t done anything past making out. But he didn’t mind. Not when she laid on his chest and he could kiss her.

Gwyn was only able to change from her dress to his top before lying on the bed. He moved her so she was under the covers and hugging him. He wanted to cry. To die at her cuteness.

“You know, I’d take on the world with you any day.” She whispered to him, “Because I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” He hugged her so tightly. Azriel couldn’t believe he was her mate! He didn’t believe for long he deserved her. But maybe… he did.

There and then he promised he’d tell her soon. At a nice dinner. Where he could sing to her afterwards. As she slept on his chest, he wrote his song for her. One of love and happiness. Of peace in his world of violence. Of light and dark. Of a kind priestess and a brooding spymaster.

He’d tell her. Tomorrow. The next day. It didn’t matter. But he’d tell her. Mate. It was if she was calling him home. As if she was his home.

#azriel shadowsinger #gwynriel supremacy #gwyn and azriel #gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #gwyn #gwynriel headcanon #shadowsinger #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #acotar headcanon #acotar #acosf #gwyn acosf

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 4 years ago

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Star Wars AU:

(I JUST SPED-READ THIS WHOLE AU RN AND IM BRAINING SO MUCH AND WROTE THIS AS I WENT!!!!

TW: there is an explanation of Sally’s death, but not to detail really! As well as TW for blood!)

After Sally was killed and Fundy was taken,he switches between the personalities of ‘Ghostbur’ and ‘Alivebur’ maybe? (Maybe around Tommy being taken as well as Tubbo? He kind of switches back and forth on both these types of ‘states’? I cannot think of the correct wording but yeah)

Sometimes he’ll just Not Sleep or he’ll wake up after a vivid dream, panic seizing his chest (he sometimes uses his force to try and convince himself that none of this was real and that awful day was just a nightmare to try sleep. He was still living in his old home with Sally and small Fundy with childish giggles being the only thing he heard; but it never really works. He doesn’t think about the Knife he lost. Nope.) Either way, he is not very mentally stable at either of these times because he’s lost all these important people because he can’t protect them.

(He remembers how the blood leaked out of his chest and his vision slowly began to blur as he sat by the love of his life who had now been dead for minutes or maybe an hour before he got into contact with his family.

‘Hello?...’ he knew that voice... he thinks he does. The voice belonged to someone with kind eyes and wings that added to great hugs...

‘Phil?....’ a cough, god the taste of copper and salt of tears was a horrible mixture before coughing again, barely hearing the concerned voice and another voice in the background.

‘Wil, what’s wrong mate? What happened?’ The voices were conversing again, he’s slowly focusing more on the blood that’s leaking out of the open wound in his chest.

‘I-I...’ he either chokes on a sob or his own blood or maybe both. ‘I couldn’t stop them... please..’

He doesn’t remember the rest of the conversation that well. )

He’ll just go around in the morning back home with Phil, Techno and the addition of Tommy like usual, bags under his eyes and said brown eyes don’t have the same shine they used to and he’ll walk up to someone, a blue bracer on his arm, fingers tracing each indent (in a certain way it feels warm, as if her hands hadn’t even left it after she placed it on his arm all that time ago..) and just

“Have you seen Sally and Fundy this morning? I didn’t hear either of them when I woke up...” and their looks make him feel confused, why do they look sad like that?... it’s not like they just upped and left or something.... right?

And either it’s that moment where continues to block every single detail of That Day or he remembers everything so vividly and perfectly like it happened that Morning (sometimes both) and the memories flood in of the love of his life on the ground lifeless and his son gone and remembers the way his chest burned and his throat ached as he screamed and shouted and moved and Sally was cold, cold, lifeless, never to laugh or sing or dance or make fun of Tommy for being a Child or anyone-

No one to sing his little songs with as they sung their little champion to sleep after the child’s nightmares or temper tantrum’s of ‘I’m not tired!’ As he would hold a little stuffed toy of a weird blue creature dubbed ‘friend’ that Wilbur had passed down to him after the toy was once his comfort as a child, a gift from Phil.

—

‘Now Fundy, this is Friend, they look a little weird and a bit old and dirty, but I know they’ll keep you company too, okay? They’ll protect you and stop your nightmares... I promise you that. They’ll fight all the bad guys in you dreams, okay little champion?’

And if sometimes someone will catch him in his sons room with a singular candle lot whilst he holds a blue stuffed toy singing a soft lullaby as his voice cracks where Sally would’ve once add her own parts, no one questions it.

—

Then Tubbo is taken; sweet, kind and enjoyable and funny Tubbo with a heart of gold and steel - And Then Tommy, his stupid younger brother and those assholes who took both of his brothers away from him. And then it happens to Tubbo again.

And Dream as well.

Not as if he’s slowly starting to care about him. Nope. Dream is just.... an ally. (No one should be forced to work for those bastards god damnit, no one. It’s not like he cares about Dream more and more because this happened with Tubbo too-)

(He does his best to ignore the voice in his head that shouts at him that he can protect no one, but he’s already believed it from the beginning.)

And so if he slowly becomes stubborn and doesn’t care about his well being again and only talks about blowing the place that holds his brother captive to smithereens? (Like the Empire blew a bullet through his chest and his wife’s head.) Whos stopping him from blowing the place to kingdom come to get Tubbo back? (The injured innocents - the sane part of himself whispers in his mind, those who can’t protect themselves and need to be protected a voice that sounds like Sally says.)

Who’s stopping him? He’s doing it either way. He...He needs to. He has to doesn’t he??

Not to mention his excitement on light terrorism with Niki and Jack, if he’s allowed to go a little crazy he’s going to Make It Grand.

—

He’s so cold all the time (argbur reference? In my ask? Yes.) he wants to be warm again, but his warmth was taken... he doesn’t like being cold...when was the last time he felt warm?... he can’t remember right now. He misses Sally, he wonders if She or Fundy would be proud of him. (Iykyk 😔)

(I’m not sure what else should be added with ‘Alivebur’ , but please he needs so much therapy it’s not that hard to see when he’ll sometimes go into his own little world and relive memories or something completely new and talk to his dead lover and son who he also believes he’ll never see again.)

And when he finds out the Fundy that wears a helmet around him is the Fundy who was taken away from him so long ago and it’s the first time in a long time that he finally breaks down in front of someone? He doesn’t care right now.

And if he gives Fundy one of the hunting knives Sally gave him at their wedding? He wants his son to have a memory of his mother too.

-blue

Perfection. Absolutely perfect. I love all of this. Just everything about it is great.

#dream smp #dream smp au #star wars au #wilbur soot #fundy #sally the salmon #ask #Blue #tw blood #blood tw #drabble

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hurricaneonanesthesia · 4 years ago

Text

Loss of a Hero

Hi, Admin Anesthesia here :). I’m so sad. Still crying over Tommy. Based on this. There's also a reference to the wonderful song letter to a dead friend by Precious Jewel Amor.

——————–

Summary: After Dream kills Tommy, Sam tells everyone. How will all of them deal with the loss of a hero?

Trigger Warnings: Implied Suicide, Spoilers, Death

Content Warnings: Swearing

——————–

Sam was pacing around the prison area as he tried to look for the woman.

“Sam...you okay?” Puffy asked as she appeared behind him with worried eyes.

Sam jumped before sighing and nodding, “Puffy...I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He continued to mutter.

“Sam, what happened?”

“I failed him. I promised that I’d protect him and I didn’t. I waved off the idea because I didn’t think he was capable.”

“Sam?” Puffy asked, fearing the worst.

“He’s dead, Puffy. Dream killed him because I didn’t want to kill Dream.” Sam couldn’t look Puffy in the eyes, “I’m sorry...I know I promised I’d protect him.”

“Tommy?” Puffy’s voice was a whisper, not wanting to confirm the truth.

Sam’s little nod made Puffy’s heart sink. “Oh...Sam, you couldn’t have known.”

“But I did. I could’ve stopped it.” Sam finally faced Puffy, tears streaming down his face, “I’m sorry, Puffy. He was just a kid.”

“I know, I know,” Puffy replied, pulling Sam into a hug as her tears started to come down as well.

-----------------

Sapnap first heard about Tommy’s death when he was talking with Quackity.

“Hey, babe.” Sapnap smiled, kissing the top of Quackity’s head. He thought Quackity was praying because Quackity was kneeling down, but upon closer inspection, he knew that wasn’t the case.

“Hey, Sapnap.” Quackity gave a small smile to his fiance as he looked up at him. Quackity’s face was strewn with tears.

“What’s wrong?” Sapnap’s face immediately melted into worry, “Who hurt you? I can-”

“Tommy died.”

“Wait...what?” Sapnap’s worry turned into denial, “It can’t be. Dream didn’t have any weapons. Tommy could easily fight back.”

“He was just a child. He was my friend.”

“He...couldn’t have died. Tell me you’re joking….please.”

“Sam told us this morning. Dream beat him to death. That sick fuck even looked happy about it.”

Sapnap didn’t like Tommy that well, but the few times they got along, Tommy was a good teammate. He was just a kid. He had so much to experience still.

Tommy reminded him a lot of his younger self. Aspiring to be more than fate wrote him. So when he felt something roll down his cheek, he knew he was grieving for the boy that could’ve been so much more. The boy who would have achieved a lot more than Sapnap did.

“I have to go do something.” Sapnap muttered as he walked away, “Dream...what did you do? I told you not to do anything bad, and here you are, wishing for your death.”

-----------------

Tubbo didn’t believe that Tommy was dead. Why should he?

Sam had told Tubbo that he was alive and well the day before. The last time he thought Tommy was dead, he ended up being alive and well. Sam was probably just trolling with him. Besides...

Dream didn’t have the balls to do this.

Tubbo, at least, thought this until he had gotten Tommy’s compass from Sam.

“I think Tommy would’ve wanted you to have this,” Sam whispered as he gave the compass to Tubbo.

Tubbo’s smile faded as he pulled out his own. The compass was spinning nonstop and it didn’t land on Tommy’s anymore. It was broken.

“Sam...Sam...why is it doing that?”

“Doing what, Tubbo?”

“Ghostbur gave it to me. He said that it pointed to Tommy’s compass. Theoretically, it should still work, right?” Tubbo asked, “Tommy’s not dead. He isn’t! How could he be? Dream’s never defeated him before.”

“Tubbo... I don’t know if you want me to answer that.” Sam looked regretful.

“Please...tell me.”

“They were bound to your souls. Once one of you die, it breaks because it has nothing to bound to anymore.”

Then a heavy feeling was placed on his shoulders as he realized that his best friend was gone. And he never got to say goodbye to him.

He was too busy trying to compete against the Big Innit Hotel and goofing off with Ranboo that….he didn’t pay enough attention to Tommy.

Tommy told him that he was going to face his abuser one last time. Tubbo was so proud of him. Sam told him that Tommy was stuck in the prison with Dream. That was fine, Tubbo knew that Tommy could fight through it. After all, it was only one week.

Tubbo thought that Sam was joking when he said that Tommy was dead.

“Sam….I never got to say goodbye to him.” Tubbo whispered as he crumbled to the ground, looking at his broken compasses.

“I know.” Sam sighed, “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should’ve protected him from Dream. I’m sorry.”

Why wasn’t he crying? His best friend just died. Did he not care enough? Why did he feel so insensitive?

“Tubbo?” Sam asked as he knelt down beside the shaking boy.

“Sam, why am I not crying? He was my best friend and I don’t even care about it. Why am I not crying?”

“Tubbo, you don’t have to cry to show that you’re grieving. You’re just a boy still. Just...come here.”

Sam pulled him into a hug and that’s when Tubbo felt his tears come out.

“He’s gone. I was supposed to be there for him when he got out. And he’s gone.”

“He died protecting you.”

“WHAT?” Tubbo asked, standing up.

“Dream threatened Tommy that he’d kill you if he got out, and Tommy died to his hands, telling him that he’d never lay a hand on you.”

Tubbo felt everything rush to his head. It was all too much. How could he? How could Dream?

He felt angry. He needed to get his revenge. So he pulled himself together and started walking back to his base.

“Tubbo, where are you going?”

Tubbo smiled, “I’m going to finish what Tommy started. I’m going to make Dream lose his last life.”

“Tubbo-”

“Sam, he killed my best friend. He manipulated me. I’m tired of playing his games. It’s time I made the rules.”

Sam sighed and before Tubbo could leave, Sam just handed him the compasses. “Keep them safe. After all, Tommy’s compass still works, right?”

Tubbo sighed, “Right.”

-----------------

Quackity was sitting on the signature bench and he had Wilbur’s guitar in hand. He guessed that it was about as a good time as any to sing for the soul they had just lost. The strums of the guitar echoed throughout the entire Dream SMP area and soon, people were gathering around him.

“I heard there was a special place, where men could go and emancipate the brutality and tyranny of their rulers. Well, this place is real you needn’t fret, with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Eret. It's a very big and a little bit blown up L’Manberg.”

“My L’manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg.” Tubbo started to sing, sitting down next to Quackity as he started to sing with him.

“For freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these, a victory for all under democracy. Well, the darkness came, and then it went, we built a home and watched it sink, and there from rubble, there emerged L’Manberg.” Quackity sang at the same time that Tubbo had sung the verse of the ad-libbed on the day L’manberg was destroyed.

They both laughed it off as they started to sing again.

“My L’manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg.”

Tubbo had to stop because he had started to cry. “Tommy….”

Quackity just continued. He knew that Tubbo wanted him to continue the symphony. Tommy would’ve liked to hear it.

“With bloodied hands and weakened knees, our people rose like the phoenix, our empty fields and canals ‘round L’Mantree. With sweat and tears we armed our ranks, we laid foundations in our land, and from every lips fro here up to infinity.” Quackity looked at Tubbo to make sure he was okay.

Tubbo just nodded as he continued to wipe away the endless stream of tears.

And as they came to the final verse, everyone around them started to sing with them.

“We sing L’Manberg. We sing L’Manberg. We sing L’Manberg. To our L’Manberg.”

As soon as the song was done, everyone went to hug Tubbo, grief surrounding all of them.

No one thought that Tommy would be gone so soon, especially Tubbo. The one person Tommy cared about more than the discs.

-----------------

“Ranboo….what’s wrong?” Technoblade had asked as soon as he saw Ranboo’s defeated face. “Who hurt you? Was it BBH again? I can-”

“No...nothing like that.” Ranboo shrugged it off, “It’s just….Sam told me that Tommy died today.”

Technoblade snorted, raising an eyebrow, “You know he’s probably joking, right?”

“I don’t think he is.” Ranboo whispered, “Sam told me to give this to you.”

Techno raised an eyebrow before Ranboo dropped something small into Techno’s hand. Something splattered with blood.

“It can’t be.” Techno’s voice was barely a whisper.

No...that was the friendship emerald Phil had given Tommy. Techno had seen Tommy wear it as an earring during his exile time period. Techno knew that Tommy still wore it. There would be no reason for him to lose it, and more importantly, lose it with blood splattered on it.

“I’m sorry, Techno.”

Techno felt a heavy weight on his shoulders. He knew that Tommy wasn’t ready to go just yet. Techno never got to say he was sorry for betraying the boy.

“Why are you sorry?” Techno laughed, “It wasn’t you that killed him, was it?”

“He was like a brother to you, right?”

“Tommy meant nothing to me.” Techno replied coldly as he sighed, “But I’m sorry for your loss, Ranboo. I know that Tommy was your first friend.”

Ranboo just broke down, “I never even got to say goodbye to him. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. Tubbo and I were going to compete with him with our hotel. And-”

Ranboo was caught off guard by a pair of arms wrapping around him. Technoblade was hugging him.

“He meant a lot to me too,” Techno whispered as Ranboo wrapped his arms around Techno as well.

They stood there in silence, just hugging each other for the longest time until finally, Ranboo separated. “Techno...I have something to admit.”

“Your enderwalk state was the one to trap Tommy in the prison? I know.” Techno sighed, “But that’s not you. And you can make it up by coming with me and helping me kill the green Teletubby.”

Ranboo smiled as he took the sword Techno passed him, “Let’s do this.”

-----------------

“Niki, I don’t think I want to do this plan anymore.” Jack sighed as soon as he saw Niki approaching him with plans to try and kill Tommy.

“Why not? Are you really backing out?”

“Niki, look at us. We were blaming a child for something that he’s already trying to fix. You’re blaming him for Wilbur’s death, but you know just as well as me that Wilbur was not in his right mind. He chose to die at the hands of his father.”

“Jack, where is this coming from?” Niki scoffed.

“Dream killed Tommy today. Beaten to death by his abuser in a tight space, according to Sam. It got me thinking.”

“Wait...what? Tommy’s dead.”

“Niki, you never wanted Tommy to be dead, did you? You just needed someone to blame while you were grieving.”

“No, no, no, no, no, he can’t die. We still have plans to make. We were supposed to make his death happy. He was supposed to see Wilbur and face his consequences. What do you mean Dream did it? That could’ve been the worst way for him to die.”

“Niki, we just wanted to feel important to him again. He ignored us, so we forced ourselves into his story. Look back…”

“Wilbur...did choose to die, didn’t he? It wasn’t Tommy’s fault. Oh god…” Niki sobbed, “I tried to kill him. And I couldn’t focus on having fun with him. Now he’s dead.”

Jack nodded, “Me too…”

Niki just went to hug Jack, “How can I ever forgive myself?”

“Time,” Jack whispered, knowing fully well that he needed to forgive himself too.

But for now, they felt ashamed of their actions and thoughts leading up to Tommy’s death.

“At least Dream did it instead of us,” Niki whispered. “That way, we saw clearly before we made the mistake.”

“He was just a kid, Niki.”

“I know...Tommy, we’re sorry.”

-----------------

“Tubbo...did Sam tell you?” Ranboo asked as soon as he entered the Bee N Boo hotel.

Tubbo nodded, holding up the broken compass he was looking at. “Please tell me we’re just in a dream and that Tommy is still in the prison alive, waiting for Sam to let him go.”

“I’m sorry, Tubbo.”

Tubbo slumped down, “I never even got to say goodbye to him. We thought it was over when we put Dream in jail. Sam told me he was still wearing his compass when Sam went into the cell.”

“He was my first friend.” Ranboo whispered, “Of course, we immediately got into a war crime, but he was still nice to me. I’m sorry.”

Tubbo just stood up, “Can we go and get some more blocks to finish the hotel? I don’t want to think about it.”

“Sure...come on.” Ranboo gave a small smile, “We can even go and get some red and white dye to have a memorial for Tommy in the hotel.”

“That sounds nice,” Tubbo mumbled as he allowed Ranboo to pull him towards the flower field.

-----------------

“Hey...what’s up with you two? Why so gloomy today?”

Ranboo looked up at Phil, only holding out something red.

Phil raised an eyebrow as he took it, only to realize it was the bandana he gave Tommy a long time ago.

“You guys are fucking with me, right?”

Techno shook his head as he took out Tommy’s friendship emerald, “Dream killed him in prison.”

Everything came crashing down at that point. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he can’t be dead. Tommy’s the main character. He was supposed to show me the hotel after he got out of prison. I promised myself that I’d be a better father for him and that I would move on from Wilbur’s death. What do you mean that he’s dead?”

“I’m sorry, Phil. I know how much Tommy meant to you.” Techno sighed, putting a hand on Phil’s shoulder. “We’ll leave you alone to think about this.”

“Thank you, Techno.” Phil sighed.

Before Ranboo could leave though, Phil asked, “Did Tommy ever tell you anything about me?”

“He told me once that he missed the dad that was there for him. He said he knew you were getting better and still healing, as was he, but he was tired of you leaning on his misery in order to cope. He just wanted to have a dad again.”

With that, Ranboo left the room, leaving Phil to collapse on the ground, caving in to the voices that were telling him that he was a bad father.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Phil sobbed, “I failed you, Tommy, and it’s all my fault.”

-----------------

Tommy opened his eyes to see that he was somewhere. And nowhere at the same time. He didn’t know where he was.

“Tommy?”

He heard Wilbur and he turned around to see his brother. “Wilbur, where are we?”

“Oh, Tommy, when I meant see you soon, I didn’t mean this soon.” Wilbur pulled Tommy into a hug, “You’re in the afterlife.”

“That son of a bitch did it, huh?” Schlatt snorted, “I can’t believe he did it.”

“Schlatt-”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” Schlatt rolled his eyes, “But I can’t believe that Dream killed you. To prove that the book is real.”

“Is it real?” Tommy asked.

“Nah, I’m a drunk alcoholic. How the fuck am I supposed to get a necromancy book? No...I gave him something else.”

“What?”

“A script.”

“A script?”

“Our script. See, Tommy, I was supposed to be the idiot, but I managed to be one step ahead of Pogtopia. Because I knew what was going to happen. So I gave the script to Dream in order for him to win. I knew I would die in the end and that you would get a happy ending. So I needed you to continue losing. So he became self-aware. He kept causing problems and blowing things out of proportion so that there would still be a story. Without one, he wouldn’t exist. He needed you to continue doing stuff. So in the end, he knew it was him or you. And he decided to choose you. To keep the story going for a bit longer.”

“Schlatt, you sick fucker. You never told me that.” Wilbur hissed at Schlatt.

“Well, there was no reason to. We might as well become friends again in the afterlife. There’s nothing to do here. But-”

“Tommy, we’re going to get you back and you’re going to kill that son of a bitch because it isn’t your time to die.”

“How though?”

“By the same way Dream convinced you to let him live. We’re going to guide the people to find a necromancy book and we’re going to bring you back to life.”

“Wilbur, what about you? What if I just like being with my brother again?”

“You have forever to talk to me when you die, but you still have unfinished business with the rest of the Dream SMP.”

Tommy smiled, hugging Wilbur, “Okay...let’s do this then.”

They were going to help the others revive Tommy.

-----------------

Tubbo walked to Tommy’s house. Dozens of flowers laid across the doorway and items of value were on the ground for Tommy. Tubbo was the last person to not put something there.

“Hi Tommy.” Tubbo gave a small smile, “I’m sorry it took me so long to visit your house. Everyone seemed to already give you so many flowers. I don’t know if you’d like more, but I picked them out for you.”

He knelt down at the doorway, placing the flowers.

“I also got you some of the things I’ve kept. Like blue premium bonds, blaze powder flavor therapy, signs from our pranks, swords I grinded for, blocks from my house, and-”

Tubbo couldn’t continue as he held back a sob.

“I miss you so much, Tommy. Why did you have to go?”

He put the items down before walking towards the bench. It felt empty next to him.

Opening his ender chest, he found one of Tommy’s discs in there. He put it into the jukebox next to him as a familiar tune came up.

When Tommy and Tubbo had reunited, Tubbo had shown Tommy his letter he wrote for his best friend he presumed dead.

Tubbo took out the crumpled paper from his pocket.

“I miss you. The memories flashed back tonight. I want to tell you, but I’m sure you’re alright. I can’t move on from the pain and the loss that I gave you. My world is silent right now. I finally live in peace, but it seems like everyone’s been fooling me. I thought that I was fine, but now that you’re gone, I wish I had more time. Don’t you remember you call me your Tubbo? I once assured you, together we’ll grow, but now I’m alone and I don’t know what to do. Everything just leads back to you. I miss you as I sit by the horizon myself. It’s not true, I won’t forget the good times we shared. You told me it was us against the world and I’m sorry I have left you all injured and hurt. My world is silent right now. Don’t you remember I call you my Tommy? I used to tell you that I’ll never leave, but now that I did, and I don’t know what to do. I’m sure everything will lead back to you.” Tubbo read out loud, the tears dropping from his face onto the paper.

And for some reason, he couldn’t stop reading the last sentence. It made sense.

“Everything will lead back to you. Everything will lead back to you.” Tubbo sobbed. Everything he had done was for the good of Tommy or L’manberg. He just wanted to be back with his best friend again.

“Sincerely yours, Your Tubbo.” Tubbo whispered as the song ended and he put everything back into his ender chest.

He felt exhaustion come over him and he laid down on the bench, his tears still flowing down his face. Sleep came over him soon as he cried himself to sleep.

Tommy was gone for real this time and Tubbo couldn’t do anything to reverse it.

#dream smp roleplay #dream smp #spoilers #tommy death #tommyinnit #tubbo #cw swearing #this is my longest fic yet please #tw death #im still crying over tommy's death because i emotionally attached myself to someone who resembles me haha childhood trauma

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babysubinnie · 4 years ago

Text

the music room // choi taeyang (theo)

🚨 pairing: choi taeyang (theo) x reader 🚨 genre: fluff ! 🚨 words: 1.2k 🚨 summary: everytime before afterschool study block, there’s a voice at exactly 3:00 you couldn’t live without hearing at least once every single day. when you finally have the confidence to step into the music room to meet him, he wasn’t at all what you expected.

——————————————————————————

hearing him sing everyday without knowing who was behind this amazing voice made me feel like i was the only one in the entire world. i felt like i could be happy while everything went to hell. when i heard him sing, i felt like nothing could go wrong. the only thing that i wanted to listen to at 3pm, right after school ended. right before study block. i didn’t know who sang like this. i sat against the door everyday at 3pm just so i can listen to his voice. i knew that there were two of them. one that played the piano, and one that sung.

no matter who i asked, no one knew who this mystery guy was. everyone thought that he was a junior, but i soon found out that he was a senior, in the other senior class. but no matter who i asked in the other senior class, they said they usually had a free block the last block of the day so if people were missing they wouldn’t know. you ask why couldn’t i just peek through the window if i’m too scared to go in? because our music room’s window’s blinds were always shut. it wasn’t creepy that i was here everyday i promise. you try falling in love with a voice.

“you’re going to listen to your mystery guy again? seriously y/n? you don’t even know this guy. for all you know he could be someone you hate with an absolute passion, or he could be someone that’s a close friend of mine. i know for a fact you don’t like my friends. stop going to see him y/n.” one of my closest friends, intak rolled his eyes putting his phone down when he saw me stand up right when our teacher had dismissed us for study block.

“fuck off.” i rolled my eyes before flipping him off. he laughed leaning back on his chair flipping me off. he shook his head before picking his phone back up. i scoffed before thinking to myself that today was the day that i had to find out who the hell my mystery guy was. before i started walking upstairs to the music room, i glanced up at the time, 3:08. i was running towards the music room because now i was late. he already sang two songs in those 8 minutes. (if my math was correct)

the moment i walked over to the music room, he started singing again. he was singing the song that he made himself, and quite honestly, it was my favorite song to listen to. perfect timing. i started panting while leaning up against the door. the lyrics, his voice, just everything about him was perfect. when he finished his song, i took a deep breath before trying to look presentable. i knocked on the door closing my eyes because now the nerves were hitting me. what if intak was right?

“come in!” when i heard him speak to me from behind the door, i got shocked that i didn’t want to open the door. i took another breath before sliding the door open. i kept my eyes down when i walked in because if i did look up, i think i would regret greatly not doing earlier.

“i was wondering when you were going to come meet us.” the boy with black hair at the piano laughed which caused me to snap my head up. they knew i was there? shit.

“you knew?” i kept my eyes on the black haired boy only for my vision to be interrupted by the most breathtaking boy i have ever seen in my entire life. he had white colored hair, and his eyes. his mf eyes. he wore his tie loose, with a blazer overtop his white shirt. he was absolutely stunning. when he smiled at me because of how shocked i was, i almost fell over.

“of course we knew. theo wouldn’t shut up about how he wanted to know who was listening to us everyday. we knew it was a girl, but we didn’t know who.” i looked down at my feet when i realized that i got caught after months of listening to the two of them. my mystery singer is theo.

“theo?” i whispered under my breath smiling to myself. the white haired boy chuckled before walking over to me. he held out his hand then smiled at me. i immediately changed my eyeline to the ground. he laughed taking my hand shaking it.

“now you know my name, what’s yours?” i looked up to meet his eyes then returned his smile with mine. i looked away, then back at him.

“y/n. yoon y/n.” i giggled. i fucking giggled. what the fuck is wrong with me? i looked down to stare at my feet of embarrassment. he put his hand on the top of my head, patting my head telling me that it was okay.

“you have the same last name as me, i’m keeho. theo’s best friend.” he laughed walking up to us with his hands in his pockets. i replied with a nice to meet you then looked up at theo. he was quite tall, well then again, anyone was tall compared to me. he smiled back down at me before taking my hand.

“sit here, i have a song i want to sing to you. i wrote it for you.” he smiled then pat my head, and walked over to the piano. when he started singing, i know what his voice sounded like, but why did it sound like i was listening to it for the first time? the song was absolutely amazing, his voice completed it. i was in love with this guy that i didn’t even know, but could you blame me? listen to his voice.

“did you like the song?” he smiled when he finished and i nodded insanely fast. he then walked over to me putting his hand on my cheek. i didn’t realize until i did, the door had opened to intak standing there with his arms crossed. i turned to look at him glaring at him because he ruined the moment.

“y/n? i need- oh.” intak walked in with his head glued to his phone not realizing what he just walked into. i mean we weren’t doing anything we shouldn’t be obviously but still. the fact that he ruined the moment.

“so i see you finally met keeho and theo.” he laughed looking up from his phone realizing who was in the room with me now. i snapped my head at intak then looked back at theo. he gave a puzzled look to me before looking at intak.

“intak! you knew who my mystery guy was?” i scoffed at him while he stood there laughing at me. i didn't know whether to slap him for not telling me or just wait and scream at him after.

“of course. these two are two of my closest friends.” he threw his arm around theo’s shoulder then laughed at me. after a while of laughing, he smirked while winking at me. little bitch. i looked up at theo, and it was exactly like the two of us read each other’s minds.

“i hate you so much.” we said at the time then snapped our heads to look at each other. i guess he felt the same about hoyoung keeping this a secret from us. keeho and intak took one look at each other before running out of the room insanely fast.

“i’m so happy i finally got to meet you my love.”

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mosh-4 · 4 years ago

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listen (ii)

harry styles imagine mini series

part ii to listen - harry has a soulmate (soulmate au)

series masterlist

a year had passed since you had last seen Harry. you followed him around on social media, catching up on what he was doing from various fan accounts. the music between the two of you had been quiet. it occasionally would become louder, and then, you would find out through social media that he was spotted traveling. it made sense.

over the past year, you filled your time with your research. for a 25 year old, you were quite accomplished in your work with your research team. you were conducting a second study on neuro-criminology. you spent most of your days analyzing brain scans of criminals while you listened to the gentle melodies brought to you by the one and only Harry Styles.

over the year, Harry finished his tour and went onto traveling around the world writing music with friends. he had just gotten back to malibu after traveling for months. he liked being home. he could hear you much louder now.

he hadn’t stopped thinking about his soulmate ever since his show in (city near your hometown). was that her that night? he would never know. it upset him to think about it. he wondered if things would have been different if he had actually got to talk to you that night. would you be with him now? would you be the last person he saw before he fell asleep? would he wake up every morning to see you? would you drink coffee with him on saturday mornings? would you tell him about your day? would you share your life with him?

it clouded his mind. thoughts of what could be. it reflected in his music. that was clear to everyone he worked with. there was a sadness that it held. he was left all alone while the people around him lived happily with their soulmates. part of him envied them.

how could he miss someone he’s never met?

“oh my god. do you play?”

you laughed. your friends were very drunk. you had all traveled to some fancy resort in florida for a weekend summer road trip. it was nice to get to see anyone since you had all been so busy with your careers.

“(y/n/n),” Eva slurred as she slid next to you on the piano bench. “will you please play for us?”

you rolled your eyes.

“for you,” you paused turning to look at her. “anything, but you have to buy me another drink.”

Kath laughed as her soulmate threw her arm around her. Eva got up from the bench before taking a drink order from everyone. you were definitely the fifth wheel on this trip.

“just play us something, you dork,” Kath shouted drunkenly.

you stretched your fingers across the piano keys and began to play a melody that your dad had taught you.

Harry was in the shower when he heard it. he thought a shower would help him think. he was having some writer’s block.

that’s when he heard you. he heard your melody. he immediately jumped out of the shower. he had to write it down.

in a towel, he sat at his piano. the melody was simple so he was able to figure it out. he grabbed his phone and began to record a voice memo as he sung along with the melody.

“i’m in my bed. and, you’re not here…”

in october, Harry released ‘lights up’. he smiled to himself as he heard you listen to it over and over again.

unknown to him, you would listen to it as you did your work every day. your co-workers would laugh at you as you bopped and mouthed the words to the song whenever it came on.

Harry couldn’t wait until he would hear you listen to the album.

in december, Kath got an odd job in L.A. the music company she worked for wanted her to help work a private event that would be open to a limited audience. she had to help keep the event under wraps while it was going on.

when she arrived, she was shocked to find out who this event was for.

the one and only Harry Styles.

it was his spotify secret album listening party. she knew his album would drop soon. (y/n) had warned her about it.

Kath never expected to hand yellow raincoats out to fans. she never expected to ride in a shuttle with the fans. she felt like she was experiencing the whole night like she was one of them. the group was led to a house where the really party was going to begin. Kath was supposed to help everyone keep a low profile. no one was allowed to tweet about it until it was over so she had to keep an eye on everyone.

“hey,” one of the caterers pulled her out of her thoughts. “do you mind running this backstage? one of the special guests has requested it, and i’m swamped out here.”

the caterer was holding what seemed to be a glass of water. it was such an odd request for her, but she agreed anyway.

“sure.”

Kath took the glass from the caterer and made her way to the backstage. a puppet show was to be given in a half hour on this stage. this water was probably for one of the puppeteers.

“is that for me?” a voice stopped her.

she turned to look at them. it was Harry. she had to take a deep breath to calm herself down.

“did you ask for a water?” she asked him.

“i did. i talked to one of the caterers,” he started.

Kath handed the water to him.

“it’s for you then. sorry, the caterers got swamped.”

“thanks,” he said taking the glass from her. “how’s it going out there?”

Kath nodded to him with a small smile.

“it’s going really well. it’s super cool. everyone is loving all the detail and stuff.”

“that’s good. i’m glad,” he said before taking a drink. he cleared his throat before speaking again. “are you with spotify?”

“sort of,” Kath said leaning against the door frame of the back room he was in. “i work with a separate music company that works as a subset of spotify.”

Harry nodded.

“cool, cool, and i didn’t catch your name.”

“it’s Kath,” she said extending her hand to his.

he shook it.

“nice to meet you, Kath. i’m Harry.”

he took another drink as Kath broke the silence.

“can i ask you something?” Kath started. “i know you don’t know me, and i really don’t know you, but would it be okay if i ask you something?”

Harry raised an eyebrow before setting his glass down.

“of course,” he responded. “it’s okay.”

Kath took a breath. she had to know. she had to know for you.

“have you found your soulmate yet?”

Harry was quiet. he knew where this was going. this happened all the time with fans and other prying people. everyone wants into his personal life. in some cases, honestly most cases, people claimed to be his soulmate all the time, and he felt like this was just another one of those times. nevertheless, he began the conversation.

“no,” he sighed. “i haven’t yet.”

he was waiting for her to give the big ‘i’m your soulmate and i’ve always loved you’ speech.

“this is going to sound kinda odd.”

great. he knew where this was going. he just wanted her to get it over with.

“but, i think my best friend is your soulmate,” she said.

she cringed at how ridiculous she sounded.

Harry was confused. why would she advocate for her friend like this.

“oh,” he started. “is she-uh-is she here?”

“oh god, no,” Kath said interrupting him. “she doesn’t even know that i’m working this. she doesn’t even know that i would even have the chance to talk to you. she’s states away. she’s working tonight-”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“why do you think she’s my soulmate?” he quietly asked.

Kath took a breath.

“i think i started believing that when you were on your second tour with one direction. our other best friend and i would listen to you guys all the time. it drove her crazy. she said that it sounded too familiar and that she could hear it all the time.”

“hear it all the time?”

“yeah. she could hear your music all the time. we later found out that the songs she heard followed your exact set list of your take me home tour. it was the same with all of your other tours, too. she heard it every night that you guys performed, and don’t get me started about the concerts we went to. she always had this horrible ringing in her ears, except the last time we were at your show. she was fine. i think it had something to do with being in the front row, you know?”

Harry rubbed his face. he couldn’t believe it. Kath continued to ramble.

“plus, she always knew when you would be releasing new music and stuff-”

“excuse me,” another voice spoke out.

Harry and Kath turned to them.

“Mr. Styles, you are needed on stage in two minutes.”

Harry immediately stood up.

“uh,” he stammered. “thank you. i’ll be right there,” he said to the worker before turning his attention back to Kath. “do you mind if we continue this later? like, can we go somewhere and talk about this later tonight? i really want to hear more about your friend.”

“of course,” Kath nodded to him. “i’ll give you my number.”

“great. thank you.”

after getting her number, he walked onto stage and began to puppeteer a puppet of himself. he then went on to introduce his album to his fans.

you sat at home as you watched some Netflix. your puppy curled up next to you on your couch as you sipped on a small glass of wine. it had been a long day, and you needed to relax.

you paused your show as you heard music in your head. it was the new album.

you smiled as you curled up further in your blankets to listen.

Kath watched as Harry danced with fans to his new music until the next song came on. the beginning melody made her blood run cold. it was (y/n)’s melody.

how would he know that?

Harry turned to glance at Kath who was standing in one of the corners of the room as the song played. she had a shocked look on her face as she looked around frantically until her eyes landed on him. they locked eyes. her eyes bugged out of her head as he gave her a little smile.

her reaction confirmed it enough for him. she recognized the melody. she knew who actually wrote it.

Kath’s eyes watered as she listened to the lyrics of the song. it was so heart breaking to know how much pain he was in, and it hurt her even more know that that was her best friend’s favorite piano melody. they longed for each other.

Harry watched as she wiped a tear away. his heart swelled in his chest before he turned his attention back to his fans.

Kath received a text a little after 11 pm.

unknown: hi. it’s harry. would you still like to meet?

Kath quickly typed a response as she unlocked her car.

kath: absolutely

she saved his number into her phone.

styles: great. i’ll send you an address.

Kath followed her gps until she arrived at a small café. she quickly parked her car before making her way inside. Harry waved to her from one of the back tables.

“hi,” she waved back before taking a seat.

“thanks for meeting with me,” he said. “can i get you something?”

“no thanks. i’m okay for now.”

“okay,” he said gripping his cup. it looked like tea. “so should we get into then? do you have any questions for me?”

“i do actually,” Kath started leaning forward. “where did you get that melody for ‘falling’?”

“oh,” he said leaning back in his chair. “why do you ask?”

“because that’s (y/n/n)’s song. she plays it all the time. it’s one of her party tricks.”

“and (y/n/n) is your best friend? the one you think is m’ soulmate?”

“yeah, her name is (y/n),” Kath said before redirecting the conversation. “so how did you hear that melody?”

“my soulmate.”

Kath nodded before leaning back in her chair. Harry watched her with a calculated glance.

“can i ask you a question, now?” Harry asked.

“sure.”

“what is the significance of the ‘gummybear song’?”

Kath let out a boisterous laugh. Harry hated that song growing up, but now it helped him figure out his soulmate. it was the one question that stumped everyone who seriously claimed to be his soulmate.

“that song,” Kath laughed. “it is the bane of her existence. she hates it.”

she wasn’t giving him the response he wanted.

“why?” he asked calculatedly. he wasn’t going to give her any hints or allude to what he knew about it.

“she had to listen to it every morning for 6 years straight until she started bringing her ipod to school. one of the little girls in her carpool was obsessed with it. she cried and cried if she didn’t hear it on the way to school,” Kath laughed. “she came to school every morning wishing that she had jumped out of the moving car and walked. now, why do you ask about that?”

Harry smiled to himself. he got her.

“i had to listen to it too.”

“oh nice,” she said. “i’m sorry you had to endure that. it was miserable for her too.”

“so you mention you went to a couple of my concerts?”

“oh yeah. we near (the city near your hometown) so we went to all of those shows. the concert for your solo tour was crazy.”

Harry thought for a moment until it clicked. that was the show he saw her. the show he wished he stopped so that he could get to know her. the show that he lost the mystery girl from the front row.

“i think i remember that. you said you were in the front row, right?”

“yeah, you gave a water bottle to her. Eva and i-oh Eva is our other friend-we freaked out when you did that because of course (y/n) had some suspicion that you were her soulmate. she didn’t want to admit it to everyone. her family thought she was crazy.”

Harry sat in shock as he thought back to that night. the girl he gave the water to. the girl he watched the entire show. the girl he fell in love with, but never spoke to.

“so that was her?” he asked Kath quietly.

“mmhm,” Kath nodded. “do you want to test to see if it’s her?”

that hadn’t crossed his mind, but he definitely should. he didn’t really know if he could trust Kath. he had just met her after all.

“here, i’ll play you a song, and you can text her from my phone and ask her what her soulmate is listening to,” Kath said placing her phone on the table between them.

“okay,” he nodded as he watched Kath scroll through her music until she landed on a song.

“ready?”

“yeah, let’s do it.”

Kath hit play as the sound of the ‘gummybear song’ filled their ears.

“text her,” Kath said opening your messages.

Harry texted her the question, and the two waited until she responded.

it was 1 am when you received a text from Kath.

kath: what’s your soulmate listening to?

the annoying repetitive chorus of the ‘gummybear song’ filled your head. you rolled your eyes in frustration as you typed back.

Kath’s phone lit up from a notification from you.

you: the mother effing gummybear song

Harry’s eyes bugged out of his head. he couldn’t believe it.

“oh my god,” he choked out.

he found her. he was shocked. it took him almost 26 years to find you. he rubbed his hands over his eyes thinking that this all might go away. he must have read it wrong. he reread your text.

“so that means?” Kath asked him.

she wanted him to say it.

“she’s my soulmate.”

Kath squealed in excitement.

“i knew it,” she shouted throwing her hands up in the air.

the two stayed in the café until it closed talking about you, your family, your job, your friends. he wanted to know everything about you.

his soulmate had a name. her name was (y/n).

it was thursday, one day until the album release. Harry sat in another café waiting for Kath to arrive. they agreed to meet again. he watched as Kath entered the café and went to the counter to order herself something.

he smiled as he heard you listening to some old rock music. he wondered what you could be doing right now. were you working? were you getting breakfast? he didn’t know, but he wanted to. he wanted to know you. his heart could burst with how much he wanted to be with you.

“hey,” Kath drew him out his thoughts as she took a seat at the table.

“hey,” he greeted her with a smile.

“so i was thinking we could call (y/n/n), and i could introduce you to her,” Kath suggested as she placed her bag down on the chair next to her.

“really?” Harry asked before taking a drink of his tea.

“yeah. i don’t think she is super busy today.”

“right. okay. what does she do again?”

“she’s a neuroscientist working with a research group right now.”

“right.”

“so do we want to call her?” Kath asked raising her eyebrow.

Harry was stalling. he was nervous.

“yeah. sure. let’s do it,” he nodded. “should we go somewhere a little more-” he stopped to look around the café. people slyly watched the two of them. “-secluded?”

“sure,” Kath said as she eyed the people watching them. “do you have a place in mind?”

minutes later, Harry and Kath sat in his range rover in a secluded parking garage. Kath’s phone rang waiting for you to pick up.

you sat at your desk going over paperwork as you ate your lunch. your phone began to ring. you had an incoming call from Kath. you smiled as you answered your phone.

“hey, Kath. what’s up?”

Harry smiled as he heard her voice. Kath had her phone on speaker.

“hey, (y/n),” she greeted. “are you busy?”

“nah. i’m on my lunch break. what’s up?”

“not much. i’m just sitting here with your soulmate.”

you sat frozen. you had stopped breathing. why would she joke about this?

“Kath, you know that’s not funny,” you sighed.

you were too tired for this.

“i’m not joking,” Kath defended. “i’m being deadly serious. he’s sitting right next to me.”

“and how do you now that for sure?”

Harry didn’t blame you for being skeptical. he was at first too.

“he was the one who was listening to the ‘gummybear song’ last night when i texted you.”

“Kath.” they heard you pause and sigh. “i don’t know…”

“c’mon,” Kath started. “what if we facetime you? you can see for yourself.”

you rubbed a hand over your face and sighed once more. you didn’t know what to do.

“i guess,” you agreed. “facetime me.”

you waited as the call turned into a facetime. Kath popped up on your screen. you could tell that she was in a car or something similar.

“(y/n/n),” Kath cheered as she saw you appear on her screen.

“hey,” you gave her a wave as you propped your phone up against your laptop.

“say hi to your soulmate.”

you watched the screen as it turned to the person next to Kath.

it was the one and only, Harry Styles.

Harry laughed as he watched your jaw drop. he shyly smiled at you. you were beautiful.

“hi,” he said giving you a little wave.

“hi,” you said while copying his wave.

“y’all are too cute,” Kath interrupted. “awkward, but still cute.”

“heyyyy.” “heyyyy.”

Kath laughed at your both as you tried to defend yourselves.

you locked eyes with him.

“how do you know for sure?” you asked him.

you had to be sure. you weren’t going to let yourself get your hopes up if he turned out not to be your soulmate. you had your suspicions, but you had no way to really know. it could have all been coincidental. you couldn’t just trust yourself with this. you weren’t going to let yourself get crushed like that.

“you can test me if you want,” he shrugged.

“okay,” you said reaching for your headphones.

you plugged your headphones into your laptop and pulled up your playlist. you placed your headphones over your ears and hit shuffle.

Harry heard the soft melody of the song play through his head.

“work song, hozier,” he said confidently.

“mkay. how about this one?”

he heard a new song play.

“jackie and wilson, hozier.”

“okay, and this one?”

that’s when he heard it. the song she played for him a couple years ago. it was his song. the song that he wrote.

“i love you, alex and sierra.”

you sat at your desk with tears in your eyes. you had a hand clasped over your mouth in disbelief.

“well, (y/n/n), how’d he do?” Kath called over the phone.

you cleared your throat willing away the tears.

“3 for 3. he got them all correct.”

“so that means?” Kath asked motioning for you to say it.

“you’re my soulmate,” you said as you stared into his eyes.

Harry smiled at you with tears welling in his eyes. he was so happy that he found you. you knew him now.

you both spent the next hour talking about anything and everything.

“when can i come visit you?” he asked.

“i’m free until christmas, you know, beside going to work.”

“great, okay,” he started.

Harry scrolled through his calendar. as he did so, it became very apparent to him that he was fully booked from now until after new year’s.

Kath saw his scrolling of endless events until it stopped in mid-january.

“you know what?” she started. “december is just so busy with the holidays and stuff. why don’t you both just meet up sometime in january?”

“uhhhh…okay. that works, i guess.”

she sent him a wink, and he gave her a grateful nod.

january it was. you had to wait until january to actually meet your soulmate. it was frustrating. you talked to him on the phone every day. you texted, occasionally facetimed. he was so close now, yet still so far. it was infuriating.

you had to bear christmas by yourself as you watched your cousins laugh and celebrate with their soulmates. you were the only recipient of multiple backhanded comments from your aunts that lived out of town. ‘why haven’t you met your soulmate yet, (y/n)?’ ‘you’re getting to old to be single, (y/n).’ ‘why don’t you just settle down with some nice boy, (y/n)? you don’t need a soulmate, (y/n).’

you were growing tired of the nagging. you just wanted to see him. you wanted to spend christmas with him. would he sit by the fire with you? would he laugh with your cousins? would he drink coffee and eat cookies with your grandparents? would he share his life with you?

you missed him. absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

on january 14, Harry sat in an airport. a blizzard had delayed his flight. he brushed his hand through his hair. it was frustrating. he was a three-hour flight away from you, and all that way keeping him away was this stupid blizzard. it didn’t help that everyone was obsessing over the fact that it was the biggest snowstorm they had ever seen. he was growing tired of it. he just wanted to see you.

his flight was delayed until 8 pm so he had five more hours until his flight. he was growing incessantly bored. he downloaded about 7 pointless games on his phone just to pass the time. one of them was getting quite addicting, but nonetheless, his attention fell elsewhere. he scrolled through his instagram instead. he found pictures of you and your family from the past holiday posted on your page. he smiled at a picture of you holding a baby, which must have been one of your relative’s. there was another picture of you standing with your friends at a bar. you were wearing the ugliest christmas sweater he had ever seen as you smiled posing with Kath and who he assumed to be your other friend Eva.

his heart longed for you even more. he decided to take his mind off you. he put his headphones on before listening to his playlist. at some point, he must have fallen asleep because he was awoken by something bumping into his leg.

“trevor,” a voice called.

Harry opened his eyes to find a little boy, who had to be no older than two, holding onto his leg.

“i’m so sorry,” a woman said reaching to pick up the child. “he likes to run sometimes. i’m sorry that he disturbed you.”

“hey, no. it’s no problem,” he said straightening up in his seat.

“are you on the next flight to (your hometown)?” she asked as she bounced the little boy in her arms. “if you don’t mind me asking?”

“no, i don’t mind. yeah, i’m on the next flight,” he answered. “are you?”

“yeah, heading home after visiting family. you?”

“i’m going to see m’ soulmate,” he smiled.

the woman smiled and nodded.

“that is a special thing.”

he nodded in agreement.

“it is,” he said. “it really is.”

their attention was then torn from each other when their gate announced that it was boarding early.

“i better get back to my husband. again, i’m sorry if he bothered you. have a safe trip,” the woman nodded.

Harry nodded to her as he bid her a safe trip as well.

after boarding the plane, he soon found himself buckled into his seat as the plane ascended into the air. he slipped his headphones on as he closed his eyes.

3 more hours until he could be with her.

around 11:30, Harry found himself in an uber driving to the address Kath gave him. he watched as the snow fell upon the town. everything seemed so quiet and peaceful. the trees were covered in a gentle frost, and the local shops had their christmas lights shining brightly in the snow.

he soon arrived at a small house in a small neighborhood just outside of the city. he got out of the car and thanked his driver before grabbing his bags. he stepped onto the sidewalk and admired the home. white christmas lights gently framed the house, and he could see a small christmas tree in the front window. unlike most people, she kept her decorations up even after the holiday. he admired that.

you were sitting on the couch when your dog started barking out the front window. rolling your eyes at your overdramatic dog, you paused your show and went to inspect what she was barking at. it was almost midnight, and for her to be barking at anything this late made you weary.

that’s when you saw it. well, him not it. you stared at the man standing on the sidewalk outside your house at 11:56 pm on a tuesday night.

this was no stranger though. you quickly ran to your front door tripping over the blanket you had wrapped around yourself with your dog following right behind you. she barked ferociously at your sudden outburst, and you threw open your door.

you stood there on your porch stunned.

was this all a dream?

Harry stood at the bottom of your porch with a gentle smile on his face. you were wrapped up in a large thick blanket. it practically swallowed you up. the snow fell gently around him.

“hi.”

he watched as you combed a hand through your hair. you looked away from him placing a hand over your mouth.

“are-are you real?” you asked tilting your head to the side.

your eyes prickled with tears, and Harry saw you squint your eyes at him. unknown to him, you were trying to will away your tears.

“i’m real, love,” he smiled with tears in his own eyes.

“okay,” you choked out as you launched yourself off the porch into his arms.

hope you enjoyed! - mosh

taglist:

@winchesterwife27

#harry styles imagines #harry styles

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kirishimas-manly-eyeliner · 4 years ago

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@cathwritestragediesnotsins asked:

ᴴⁱ ᶜᵃⁿ ᴵ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵃ ᵐᵃᵗᶜʰᵘᵖ ᵖˡˢ😊 ᴵ'ᵐ ˢʰᵒʳᵗ, ᵗʰⁱᶜᶜ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵖᵃˢˢⁱᵒⁿᵃᵗᵉ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵘᵖ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵖᵖˡ, ᴵ ᵗᵉⁿᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˡᵒᵘᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶜʳᵃᶜᵏ ʲᵒᵏᵉˢ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵈᵉᵖʳᵉˢˢⁱᵒⁿ, ⁱⁿˢᵒᵐⁿⁱᵃ, ᵃⁿˣⁱᵉᵗʸ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʳᵘˢᵗ/ᵉᵐᵒᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ/ᵃⁿᵍᵉʳ ⁱˢˢᵘᵉˢ. ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵗᵒˡᵈ ⁱᵐ ʳˡˡʸ ʷⁱˢᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉᵐᵖᵃᵗʰᵉᵗⁱᶜ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃᵈᵛⁱᶜᵉ, ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᵒᵘᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵖˡ ᴵ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ. ᴵᵐ ᵏⁱⁿᵈᵃ ᵃⁿᵗⁱ⁻ˢᵒᶜⁱᵃˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃ ᴴᵁᴳᴱ ᵈᵒᵍ ˡᵒᵛᵉʳ. ᴹᵘˢⁱᶜ ⁱˢ ˡⁱᶠᵉ. ᴬⁿⁱᵐᵉ ʷᵉᵉᵇ ᵒᵇᵛⁱ. ᴵ ʳᵉᵃᵈ/ʷʳⁱᵗᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵖˡᵃʸ ᵛⁱᵈᵉᵒ ᵍᵃᵐᵉˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᶠᵘⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢⁱⁿᵍ!! ᴬˡˢᵒ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵖᵉʳᵖᵉᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ ˡᵒˡ. ᵀʰˣ!!!

ᴄᴀᴛʜ!! ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴏ ᴇxᴄɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ :ᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴀᴛᴇʟʏ 🥺

I match you with...

⁺˚*･༓☾ Denki Kaminari! ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⋆☂˚｡ Hello, the amount of love I have for this sunshine baby boy is ridiculous, so here we are. As a couple, I have the idea that you two can and will be unstoppable!! Denki might not be super popular, but there are so many things that Denki is capable of, and you really bring the best out of him.

⋆☂˚｡ When he feels lost, or just wants to hide away, you let him know you’re there for him. This fricken adorable and precious baby bot just wants to be loved. You give him happiness, and all he wants is to return it to you!

【 how you two met 】

☾ The school festival only brought out the best in both of you. You had wanted to perform, see the entire stage, and to just sing your heart out, to forget about all your worries and just “fwwwwsha” and let it all out.

☾ However, those were just dreams of yours, to you, at least. Dreams of someone who wanted to show the world what she was capable of-- so instead, you decided to go backstage after seeing Denki and Class 1A perform, and all you could say was that it was definitely magical.

☾ You decided to go back to the dorms, and it was pretty late at night when you came back, around 11 pm. You plopped down on your desk, and started singing to yourself, getting lost in the world of music. Your headphones (or earphones, y’all I have no idea what you use xD) were plopped on your shoulders, music blasting loud enough so only you could hear it as you sung along gently.

☾ You get lost in yourself-- you had been so tired all day, so you couldn’t help but start drifing away, singing on autopilot.

☾ But your trance faded away when the door burst with a loud creak and WABAM, an entranced Denki fell on the floor.

☾ “I-I’m so sorry! It’s just-- your door was open, and you sounded really pretty. You look really pretty, too. Not that it’s important. You also sounded tasty. I mean what? That sounds so weird, I’m so sorry, but uh, yeah! You sounded-- mhm, I liked your singing. A lot. Haha.” Kaminari sputtered, blushing and losing his usual ‘cool-guy’ facade.

☾ “Uh-- thank you?” you couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, by the way, you did really good at the school festival... I couldn’t go, but you did great. Your backing vocals and energy was amazing.”

☾ This ADORABLE boy just starts getting literal sparks in his eyes. “Are you serious??”

☾ “Yeah!” you encouraged. Denki started punching the air in delight as he leaned over your shoulder. “Watcha doing?

☾ “I’m just writing my new sto-”

☾ “You write?! Woah, that’s so cool!!” he’s like an adorable little puppy, and he’s getting tiny little sparks of light. (also I headcanon dyslexic + adhd kaminari and I think it’s really sweet that he thinks your writing is cool 🥺🥺🥺)

☾ “Shhh!” you whispered through your laughs. “We’re gonna get in-”

☾ Aizawa stood at the door. “Am I interuppting something?”

☾ “...shitakimushtroom.”

【 relationship headcanons 】

LITERALLY WROTE A WHOLE FANFIC UP THERE, I AM SO SORRY, it was just so interesting playing around with your character’s and personalities!!! (not me actually wishing you were in the series because it would have been so interesting), but anyyyway!

Denki fricken Kaminari loves you. He doesn’t deny it one day, he never will, and every single second of every day, he’ll remind you how much love he has for you. He appreciates you so so much. Kaminari also drinks is Respect Women Juice, you cannot change my mind. He thinks that it’s so amazing that even when you go through so much in life, you get up every single time, and you put a smile on your face and keep standing. You always encourage others when you feel down yourself, and all he wants is to return it to you. He loves the crackhead side of you, too! Kaminari loves bonding over the things he loves with you, and whenever he’s around you, it’s easy to tell that he just keeps the conversation going because he truly thinks you’re interesting. And when you have low days, if he ever sees you crying alone in your room, he’ll run over, slide down on the wall next to you, and open his arms for the softest hug in the world. He whispers into your ear, gently, “it’s going to be okay. you are so, so strong.” When you have anxiety attacks, this man comes prepared. He might not know what to do all the time, but he’d do everything in his will to calm you down-- these are the very few times that you see the more understanding, soft, sweet part of him. He helps you notice a few things in the room and gets you some water to drink. And when you can’t stay up? Please give this cuddle-master some cuddles. He probably has a playlist dedicated to the songs you like, and you two just chill with each other sometimes. Your head nestled on his chest, scrolling through your phones as he plays with your hair-- and every so often, he boops you in the nose. Also, AHHH ESKIMO KISSES EVERYWHERE!! This man will plant kisses on your forehead, back, nose, cheek, and he reminds you every time, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He’d also laugh in-between kisses 🥺🥺🥺 When you two have your first kiss, he’d laugh, before kissing you again. (these make me so soft i’m sorry 🥺) And with music? This man comes prepared. When you show even the slightest interest in one thing, he saves it to his phone right away and gets started on trying to learn it. He’ll sing you to sleep if he can, and yes, you two will sing every single number of Hamilton together. I don’t make the rules. He’d also totally do facials, nails, and eyeliner with you. Heck, he’d probably wear a dress if he wanted to! Overall, life with him always feels so alive and insanely special, and he makes sure you know that he loves you.

runner ups: mirio togata, izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo

I hope you enjoyed your matchup! I hope this was able to make your day at least a little better, please take care of yourself ^^ Remember to drink water and to eat something, stay safe!

#kme: cathwritestragediesnotsins #denki kaminari #kaminari #denki hcs #denki kaminari matchup #bnhamatchup #bnha match up #bnha matchup #denki kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kaminari x reader

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ewgoals · 4 years ago

Text

50 Reasons why

Plot: Harry and Y/N have had an on and off relationship for 4 years, They truly feel like true love was what kept them together but nobody will take control.They had a beautiful baby boy together and the love they share was pure so pure that Harry decides to try and take control even if it was too late and the woman he called his wife was over him.

A/N: The Plot Is short but the story is long, complex and beautiful. It’s based on a true story. Please listen to the song while you are listening Via Spotify or apple music, Please it makes it so much better! I have a youtube link. I said that Harry wrote and sung the song but it was a musical named rent if you don’t know lol Let me know if you want a part two

Link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-9pvtRwaKHY

Triggers: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Tears?, Heart break.

Word Count: 5,843

Harry was up all night, that’s how it’s been the last few days he couldn’t sleep without Y/N by his side. Harry knows that he did this to himself from pulling away from his former wife, when he began to struggle with his own personal demons. Harry finally sat up as he saw the light coming through the blinds of his home, he looked at his phone for a moment just hoping to get even the smallest text from his former lover but it was sadly nothing. Harry finally decided that he needed to take control of this situation, he needed his feelings to be out there and for Y/N to understand what he truly felt.

This gave Harry the amazing idea, he was going to mix a romantic gesture with him pouring out his heart. This was going to start with Harry writing an emotional letter for the woman that he loved before words, he then ordered 50 roses and sent them to Y/N home after he checked with a couple of friends that she still lived there. This of course was Harry’s favorite thing that he’s done for a little while and he was beyond excited about finally having some control.

Y/N and Harry have been talking every night since Y/N reached out, making sure her ex husband was okay. She never wanted to put him in a bad place, but she knew that it was for the better that they split up even if the divorce was rough enough on both of them. Y/N was shocked when she woke up to his friend calling her from downstairs, the woman rushed down the stairs in fear of something much more horrible. Y/N covered her mouth as she looked around at the 50 dozen roses that filled her living room and dining room.

Roger looked at his best friend before saying “Girl he wants you back so bad” Y/N looked around just as shocked before grabbing a letter that was kept separate from the roses which made her smile seeing Harry’s handwriting “I’ll read these to you just because you are here” The woman admitted before her best friend nodded as he watched her open the letter “Okay here we go” the woman said shaking her head as she began reading.

“I know that you told me not to write this and normally I would listen but I can’t help it, I saw this post that I made for you that was written like a year ago I think and it was crazy because you don’t think you could ever add to a post like that. I could though, it was talking about how you make me feel all of these things! I wasn’t sure how it was possible to add more but once I actually sat down and began thinking about how I could it was easy as hell. I’ll show you the post so you know which one I’m talking about.” The woman’s eyes were already filling with tears as she began to read the post Harry wrote for her on her birthday last year.

“My Love,

As I am writing, I have a million thoughts running through my mind. This letter is meant to be a testament to the feelings I feel for you – you are the one person that can put a smile on my face, even on those days when I am feeling down. You are the reason I am able to lay in bed and fall asleep peacefully. Looking at it, you have offered me new opportunities that no other person would be able to offer me. As you lay next to me in bed sleeping, I lay there and wonder what I did to get so lucky in my life.

You are the one that has reached out and showed me the true meaning of what it feels like to be in peace. There is no other person in this world that could have done that for me. It amazes me that someone with such outer beauty as so much inside her as well. I feel like I am floating when I am with you. My days get brighter when I am with you. I still manage to get these butterflies when I see you. I guess overall I love you. “ Y/N shook her head as she sniffled trying to get herself to compose herself once before she looked at her friend “Please Read the rest” she asked as Y/B/F/N took the letter and began with the next page

“I wrote that on 10/23 that was literally 3 days after you and I got together. That was the day I meant the love of my life and the woman would become the mother of my children, I told you last night but let me rephrase so everyone can see it.

I may not show all the time and that’s because I’m shitty at human emotions but you are the most important person to me. When I’m down you bring me up without realizing you are. When I’m beyond crazy you manage to bring me back down to earth I didn’t wanna tell you because it goes back to the whole “what the fuck does this beautiful ass woman see in me like?” And that goes back to the whole I don’t think I’m worthy of love but you truly make me like I’m worthy even though I fuck up nonstop you still manage to love me even when I’m stupid as shit.” Roger stooped as he began to run his hand up and down his friend’s back “He is quite the words man” this caused them both to chuckle as her friend went on

“I mean every word of that ten times over, no matter what stupid shit I do you manage to find a way to forgive me. Y/N from all the adventures we go on from fucking around and getting hitched in Vegas, to getting married in Paris or maybe me trying to drown you bora bora. That is still not confirmed, I’m only joking but I don’t feel like there are enough words to describe our relationship hell our marriage. Happy birthday to the love of my life, you still manage to keep on my toes but I think that’s because of how amazing you.” Roger gasped “that’s what he wrote for your birthday? I can barely get laid from mine” Y/N laughed as she ran her hand over where her ring used to see as she took the paper and read the last paragraph

“I found that post still saved in my phone and if I’m honest it started off a long list of things that I miss about you and I’ll break that down one by one so give me a minute haha, I’m going to call this the 50 reasons why I love you and the reason why I think we should try just once more and If it doesn’t work then that’s fine and the reason it’s fine is that we have such an amazing friendship that I don’t ever wanna lose. You give me hope even when I am hopeless. I can use all of those typical relationship quotes and for once I understand why they are like that. Okay fine I’ll get one with my list haha.”

Y/N brain finally connected the dots as she looked around at all of the roses “They are in order from number 50” the woman shook her head as she looked at the roses once more, this was going to be a long night. Y/N quickly got started as she picked up the number 50

“50.) I like the way you look at me.

I don’t know it’s possible but when you look at me, I feel this flutter in my chest telling me that I just saw the most beautiful woman look at me. I am also in a position where your eyes tell me so much more than you ever want to let one.” Y/N smiled sweetly as she kept going on

“49.) Your Skin Care

I don’t think I could tell you what you are actually doing when you start the process but I can tell you that I love how you almost become instantly relaxed when you start it and I love seeing that. I love to see how you can wind down from your day and just a little face cream helps you so much with that. “ Y/N looked at her best friend as ran her finger through her hair before giggling “He used to literally roll his eyes everytime I would even begin” Y/N shook her head as she smiled a little before she grabbed the next card

“48.) Those Legs

I love the feeling of running my hands up and down your legs, the way they curve so perfectly, and the length. Please don’t get me started because I don’t think I could stop. They are smooth and always smell so good.” Roger laughed as he lightly smacked her thigh “told you those legs were killer” Y/N laughed as she shook her head “Next one” she said

“47.) Your Touch

The way you used to just run your fingers over my arm or trace outlines on my chest. I used to always look down at you and the minute I felt the tips of your fingers, I would freeze only for a second but that’s because I was shocked you were there.” Y/N looked down at the card as she closed her eyes “I don’t think I can truly get through these” The woman smiled but she kept going

“46.) When you Play with my Hair

This doesn’t get enough credit and I took advantage of it. When I used to lay on your chest and just listen to your heart you would run your fingers through my hair and I would always feel my heart speed up because it felt so good. It felt like you were giving my head the greatest massage of all time” .

“45.) You see the positives when I see Negatives.

I could come to you about something as simple as wanting to know what I should have for lunch and you can give me a whole pro list of different places I could eat. You literally turn every point in our life positively just by counteracting my negative. It makes us work really well but it also shows me how I should look at the world.”

44.) How you used to rub my back

I know this sounds like I am repeating myself but I’m not. You used to straddle my waist and rub my back after the gym, It would give me this relaxing feeling and the way your fingers worked the muscles that were sore out and made me feel like I was jello. I can’t thank you enough...

43.) When You Picked Me

I don’t think anyone was as shocked as me when it happened, I slide into your DMS a nervous man knowing that you had just gotten out of a relationship but I kept my heart open to the small chance I had. When you agreed to go on that date with me I couldn’t even believe it like Why was she settling but I thank my lucky stars for the day over and over.

42.) When You Just Wanted To Cuddle.

I would wake up and have to get up for the gym but you would always pull me back down and ask for five more minutes and the minutes I got a smell of your hair I couldn’t say no. I would have to stay for five more minutes.

41.) The Way You Wake Up.

You always sit up and stretch before you look over at me and lean in to kiss me, I would always try to turn it into a little bit more but you would always say that your breath stunk and I remember that I could never bring it to your attention that I never smelt your breath, I was to busy focusing on my beautiful wife.

40.) Your Feet At Night.

You know that I hate feet with a passion but I love the way you bury your feet under my legs when you get cold when we are together. I used to hate it now that I don't have it. I just miss it.

39.) We Could Watch Cartoons Together.

I never figured that would be something that made me love someone but it truly made me love you more, I could put Peppa pig on but we could still cuddle and just read.

38.) I’ll Always Remember Your Favorite Flower

I will always make sure to have your favorite bouquet of flowers and I will always know that they need to be a dark red because Maroon is one of your favorite colors.

37.) Your Ankles.

I remember when I would be messing around with you, I would always grab your ankle. I would leave a kiss on your ankle, I would hold your ankle. I think I don’t want to admit how much I love kissing your ankle.

36.) You never make me feel dumb.

You are genuinely one of the smartest people I know and somehow you’ve never made me feel like I was less because I don’t know as much as you but you would even try to explain it to her.

35.) How you watch your favorite show,

I’ve noticed that you would religiously watch the same show over and over and that would drive me insane now I find myself watching them just to think you are here.

34.) How You Pull Me Closer.

I would try not to fall asleep first but the minute I did, I would feel you pull me closer and keep me close until you either felt safe or just content. I would love every minute I remember.

33.) Your Dancing

You always dance like nobody's watching and I love that. I love the way you mix current music and start doing the boogie haha I also love the way you twerk lol

32.) Your Quick Replies

I would feel myself becoming closer to snapping and you would always lighten my mood with a little small quick roast, It would always make me feel better.

31.) Your Love For Dogs

I’ve never seen someone care about our living things, I would always be a little shy about them at first but you would go and bear hug the dog no matter what haha.

The next ten flowers were labeled NSFW which meant that Y/N was’t going to read them out loud but her friend was quick to put that idea down “Nope, I’m emotionally invested you need to read them all” Y/N blushed before nodding as she looked at the next card reading loudly

“30.) Your moans

Those are literally crack, I would hear that moan and it would get me ready almost instantly. I hear the moan almost every night and well let’s just say I miss hearing it in person.” Y/N was blushing already as her best friend laughed “Oh this is adorable keep going”

“29.) Your Whispers

I don’t know if you thought I could hear but when you whisper in my ear, I feel myself almost buckling at my knees and smiling just because I know exactly where to touch to make those moans come out.”

“28.) Your Nails

I miss the way your nail would run down my back, they could be long or short. They were just this naturally fuck me harder button and I swear every time you did it I was ready for you all over again.”

“27.) Your Taste.

This is not a place that I can beat around the bush, I miss the feeling of going down on you. I miss feeling those fingers in my hair as I eat the most amazing peach that I could’ve ever tasted in my life” Roger laughed as he held his chest “Girl you better get back with him, that alone would have be running back” Y/N covered her face as she closed her eyes “Okay next one”

“26.) Your Lips

I miss how those lips felt against mine, they are the softest things I’ve ever kissed, and the way you bit your bottom lip is just unreal.”

“25.) Your Smirk

You only use this when you know you’ve won and it’s my favorite thing about getting to admit defeat. That smirk you have when you crawl back on top of me. A man could fall in love with that.”

“24.) Your Ass

How is it I can picture your ass and I could tell you the curves of the perfect tanned ass. I love how you reacted when I finally smack your ass. You gasp and use that damn smirk.”

“23.) Your boobs

I still love the feeling of kissing down your chest as I run my hands over your amazing breasts, they are soft and fit perfectly in my hands. I can tease you so much because of it.”

“22.) Those Kisses

I always remember when you would be giving me a blow job, You would always leave these kisses on my inner thighs. Those still drive me wild but Nobody could do it like you.” Y/N smiled as she shook her head “Girl you need to teach me your tricks. You got this boy pussy whipped” Y/N slapped Roger’s chest “Shut up”

“21.) The way you pull my hair.

I’ve learned that you grab onto many things, my hair is a perfect victim but god is it such a turn on. I could feel myself slipping away because you wore me out but the minute you pulled my hair I was back into it. “

“20.) The way you take control when you want it.

I loved watching you ride me, I get the perfect view of those amazing perfect breasts in my face but I also get to see you take control and that is so sexy. “

Y/N finally looked up at Roger before closing her eyes “I have 20 more reasons why he loves me and I have no words to say anymore” Roger smiled as nodded “come on girl 20 more”

“19:) How well we fit together

I would begin that I could marry someone who just sleeps well and I did. Our bodies just fit perfectly to the point that I could never think that anything could be better”

“18.) The Way You Talk To Tv

I can’t begin to tell you that just because you scream at the tv, it's not going to change the outcome but watching you get so the anger was half worth it”

“17.) Your Grace

The way you handle yourself when the media talks about you. You don’t talk negatively but just smile through it”

“16.) The way you handle my jealousy

I know that sometimes, it’s ridiculous that I get jealous over small stuff but it’s because have you ever dated someone who was so above your league? Of course not, you are a goddess.”

“15.) I love that we are friends and family.

No matter what you always made me feel important even when nobody else did, you always treated me like family and when I was going through a pure panic attack you would manage to call me down even with just your words. You treat me like I am not this piece of shit. That I matter. “

“14.) Your Smell

When you would get out of the shower and come to bed, The way your hair smelt mixed with your perfume and other smells just made you into this perfect smell that I still can’t get out of my nose.”

“13.) Our Baths

We did this a lot while you were pregnant, I would just run my hand over your little pregnant belly and I would feel so content with just being able to hold you, let you relax with some weird bath bomb”

“12.) Your Christmas Obsession

I never really liked Christmas before I met you, it was kinda just a holiday. I would go home but you made it special. Now when it’s Christmas time all I think about is you, how your eyes would light up when you would see all the Christmas lights. How you would get excited when Emre,Lea or Presley opened a present. You Made Christmas something special and I’ll always thank you for that.”

“11.) Your Laugh

I think I could write a ten page essay about your laugh alone. I remember holding you and I would start to tickle you now it would end in you giving me a death threat but it was worth it to hear that laugh. I would always get this heart fluttering feeling when that special sound left your lips.”

“10.) I miss you when you aren’t next to me

I’ve noticed this more now that we aren’t together but I find myself taking this much more serious now that the reality sets in that we are where we are. This becomes more real every time I get a text from you. Hell I used to miss you when you are in the next room.”

“9.) The way you are with our kids.

I feel like this is pretty self explanatory but the way you look at our kids and how they smile so lovingly back at you . The way they squeal when you kiss them, how they want nothing more but to hold you and play with you makes me realize that you were the perfect choice for the mother of my children, You are the perfect mom everyone is trying to me and you do it effortlessly.”

“8.) We’ll Always Have Paris.

I’ve always wanted to say that haha. You make it possible for me to say that. Paris will always be the place where I found the love of my life, It will also be the place where God showed me that angels walk among men.”

“7.) Always being True

You are being true to who you are, your morals are sometimes not in my favor but it makes me love you more. That you know exactly what you want and what you truly deserve. This drives me crazy but in the best possible way and almost makes me jealous of you that you are so smart and true to who you are that you can get whatever you want. This makes even more one of a kind than you are.”

“6.) The Way You Let Me In

I know that you don’t do this anymore and I think that’s what makes it even more special that you let me in. I get to see every side of you: the good,bad,stressed, sad, angry, vulnerable. I know it doesn’t make sense but when you open up to me I get this feeling in my chest and I just can’t help but feel like I am the luckiest person in the world. “

“5.) Your Eyes

I was in the studio yesterday and the thought of you popped into my mind and the lyrics created themselves. I have the audio of me singing which I texted you, I don’t know if you caught that yet. If not I left the lyrics for you”

Your eyes

As we said our goodbyes

Can't get them out of my mind

And I find I can't hide

From your eyes

The ones that took me by surprise

The night you came into my life

Where there's moonlight

I see your eyes

How'd I let you slip away

When I'm longing so to hold you

Now I'd die for one more day

'Cause there's something I should have told you

There's something I should have told you

When I looked into your eyes

Why does distance make us wise?

You were the song all along

And before the song dies

I should tell you, I should tell you

I have always loved you

You can see it in my eyes

Y/N saw her phone sitting next to her as she grabbed it and saw the audio file that was sent to her, the woman smiled softly before she played the song as loud as she could without waking her young son in the next room over. Roger's eyes were filled with tears by the end of the song before Y/N wiped her tears away as she shook her head “I can’t do this anymore. Roger I’m seeing someone else'' Roger nodded as he looked down sad for the woman “Just hear him out” Y/N nodded as she looked at the last four of the flowers

“4.) Those Nose Scrunches

I couldn’t get enough of those, when you would tease me there was a nose scrunch. When you would be making food and it splashed on you there was a nose scrunch. When you would change a diaper another nose scrunch or even when I kissed your nose. God I love them.”

“3.) Our Inside jokes

This is something I never thought I would miss as much I do, I love that when I say Bora Bora to you that we both think of the time you claim I tried to drown you I swear to goodness I did not! Or our mutual hatred for the chicago bears”

“2.) You made me feel like I mattered

It didn’t matter if I felt like I was the worst person you always made me feel like my story mattered and that so did what I have to say. You made me realize that even if nobody wants to hear it my voice should be heard. You helped me into who I am now. I wasn’t Harry Styles to you, I was just a person”

“ 1.) Your Heart

This is the number one reason why I love you. Your heart is a wonderful thing, that you don’t realize is as amazing as it is. Your heart is this thing that amazes me hell it managed to love me and well that’s crazy enough to me. I get more and more amazed every time you show me your heart. When I met you and your heart, it began to change me and help heal my messed up heart. Your heart is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. I love you. I love your heart and I love that you managed to love me with that beautiful heart.”

Y/N was now in full blown tears as she found the next letter hidden in the last bouquet of flowers “Roger please” her best friend took the letter as he opened the letter she read out for her

“ I think I could keep going on because If i’m being honest it took me an hour to think of 50 reasons why I love you but I decided that it might be a little too much if I sent a 100 reasons why I love you but I told you that I will give you 50 reasons why I love you and one reason why I think we should try again and here is that reason

1..) The reason I think that we should try once more is because we are perfect. I know that it would be easier to go and talk to Matthew and fall in love with him and that He won’t give you half as many headaches as I did. Hell he probably won't give nearly as much heart break either. He would be the easier option and I would understand completely if you did it now I know he's not a guy you were talking to but he was just an example. I know that I am not perfect, hell I am far from it. I know that at points our relationship was toxic and I am still so sorry for every time that I made our relationship toxic in some way.”

Y/N covered her mouth as she bit her lip “He knows about Matt… yet he still took a chance with all of this” Roger looked down at the letter as he kept saying

“I know that we have our problems, I know that we can talk through them and I know that I love you. I know that no matter what I always will. Hell you can tell me no right now and that we will never happen again and I will tell you okay but only if I can still be in your life because that’s all i truly want. If I can’t have you then it would still be an honor to be your friend.”

Y/N looked at her phone in her hand before she grabbed her phone and quickly dialed her ex husband’s number “Y/N” the sound of the man’s voice made her breath stop as she looked at the roses in front of her “Harry, These roses and the letters” Harry just laughed a little “It was over kill huh?” Y/N quickly smiled “No! I loved them but Harry. My heart’s heavy— which I don’t know is a good thing or not. All these things you’ve said about me, these 50 reasons why you love me, it really touched me and it made me realize that you truly do love me. What breaks my heart is that this wasn’t there during the end of our relationship” The woman stopped for a moment as she tried to hold back the tears that she had

‘On both sides, not just yours. What hurts is that it took 3, or even 4 years for us to realize this? It took countless breakups. It took so much, and maybe that’s the beauty of it. You’re right, another relationship would be easier to be in, there wouldn’t be the arguments and fights and quarrelling and all the little things that are basically ways of expressing love for one another. I don’t know if I need to explain anything right now, and I’m assuming you don’t want me to. But I will tell you that you really healed a lot with what you said. It means a lot, and I do love it.” Harry shook his head

The man laughed at himself as he audibly said “No, I don’t want you to explain anything. I want you to just know that I meant every word. That wasn’t my intention to heal anything with a letter. It was to show you that if you want and I need you to remember that if YOU WANT I’ll be right here waiting with my arms open and ready to love you all over again because like I said a new relationship would be easy for both of us but they wouldn’t have those parts that make us so perfect and comfortable together. Now I’ll admit I hope this does make you want to try this again but if it doesn’t that’s fine because now you know everything I was so cowardly to say while we were together.” Harry finished as Y/N sniffled into the phone

Y/N managed to start talking without breaking her words “I do understand. I don’t know if I’d want to try again though. We could, but it could end up like it did last time, it could also last a long time, but I’m in a place where I’m slowly getting better and I’m not sure if risking that is a good thing. If I’d have heard this when we were together then that’s another story. Maybe we couldn’t work it out together and recovered from our problems and mental health issues together. But we had to separate to help ourselves, that itself says something. Harry, I love you and I will always love our son and the life that we have together but I am seeing someone Harry and I need to see where that goes” Harry smiled sadly as his eyes filled with tears before he whispered “ I understand. I’ll talk to you soon Y/N. Tell Jace I love him and that daddy misses him.” Harry didn’t say goodbye. He just hung up.

Harry knows that what he did was childish and he should’ve been supportive, he couldn’t help it. He was upset, heartbroken, disappointed,miserable. Harry knew that he couldn’t do that to his ex wife and mother of his child, he grabbed his phone and quickly texted back “I am happy for you, I’m elated that you found someone to make you feel the way I feel about you. I’m not going to lie. I was hoping that my 50 reasons would give a little time to take you off your feet. I was just a little too late. I love you Y/N. I’ll always be waiting for you… No matter what”

#harry styles imagines #Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles au meme #one direction imagine #hs imagine

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 4 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter four

~|Emily Fox|~

“Guess what I did this weekend?” I ask Madison excitedly when I see her at her locker on Monday morning. She stares at me, blinking a few times. She did not expect me to be this excited on Monday morning. “You rode an elephant?” she asks when she realizes I won’t continue until she guesses. “Don’t ever ride elephants. They’re not made to do that,” I tell her off, “No, I finished writing my song!” Madison’s eyes widen before an excited squeal leaves her mouth. Now we’re getting weird looks from other students, wondering why the hell we��d be so excited on Monday morning. “Let me hear!” she shouts loudly, but I quickly dim the fire inside her eyes by shaking my head. “I still need to tweak it a little, but I think it might actually have potential,” I say. Madison pouts. “I’m sorry, Mads. I promise you, I’ll let you hear it once I pick up the courage to ask someone to duet this with me.” “Like on TikTok?” she asks, visibly confused. “No, I think it might sound better as a duet. I sang like part of it with this Charlie dude at the Music Store.” Madison’s eyebrows rise whilst her eyes widen. “Who’s Charlie?” she asks, the bell nearly ringing out her voice. The two of us make our way to class together. “The Cute Douchebag I told you about?” “You never said he was cute…” “I’m telling you now. He kept coming back to play this one guitar in the store to escape from his parents and I let him while I cleaned up the place. And then on Saturday, he suddenly started singing this verse that fit perfectly what I already had. It sounded amazing, Mads. Our voices blend really, really well together.” I take in a deep breath and release it into a sigh. “Mmh… Cute Douchebag Charlie serenades you and you turn it into a duet… Sounds like the start of a great Romantic movie,” she thinks about it for a moment, “I’d watch that.” “I’m going to put your feet back on the floor, Madison, because nothing’s ever going to happen between Charlie and me.” I can’t hide the smile tugging at my lips though, and I think Madison has seen it too as one of the corners of her mouth curls up into a smirk. “Mmh-mmh…” she hums and before I can bring anything else in, she dips into her classroom, leaving me all alone to find my way to the room next door where I have my first class. Let’s pray today goes by fast. Which only works by constantly imagining what it would be like to show Charlie the song I wrote with his verse added to it and what it would be like if we sung it together. I wonder if he’ll be at the store tonight and if he is, do I immediately tell him I’ve finished the song? Or do I wait until I’ve perfected it? Or do I—I can’t even finish my thought when the bell rings, signaling lunch time. Halfway through.

“Dreaming about mister Cutie Pie?” Madison’s voice startles me as I stand in line for lunch. “Hell, Madi. Give me a heart attack, why don’t you?” She gives me her most mischievous grin. “So, you’re not denying that you were dreaming about mister Cutie Pie?” “No,” she raises her eyebrows, “I mean, no I wasn’t dreaming about him because he’s still a douchebag.” I take a sandwich from the canteen lady. “A very cute Douchebag,” Madison wiggles her eyebrows. “How do you know he’s cute?” I ask as we move towards the fridges for some soda. “You told me. And I found him on Instagram.” She reaches in her bag for her phone whilst we head towards the table we always sit at. “How did you find him on Instagram?” I ask her, sitting down and taking the phone from her to look at his photos. Some of them look really cool and artsy, most of them with his guitar, whether that be electric or acoustic. “I checked the Music Store’s Instagram and looked through their followers and found about fifteen Charlies, but none of them as cute as this one.” I glance up at the handle at the top of his page. Charles_Gillespie. Gillespie? That’s a very unique last name. “You should be in the FBI, Mads,” I tell her and find myself scrolling through all of his pictures. “I mean, it’s no rocket science, babes,” she shrugs off her FBI-abilities. I shake my head at her, and then deep-dive into the wondrous world of Charlie Gillespie’s Instagram. Those eyes. They seem more golden in real life than they do in the pictures on here. And that smile. In one photo, he has like a really lazy smile on his face, but it looks so freakishly adorable that I nearly melt on the spot. “Someone has a crush!” Madison sings into my ear. “I do not,” I sound way more offended than I intended to. “Okay, fine. You do not. But when you stop being in denial, I’ll be here to tell you ‘told you so’,” Madison tells me sassily. I so want to say something to that, but I’m stumped. And too distracted by Charlie’s Instagram. I’m so distracted I even forget to eat and only leaves me with five minutes left to eat an entire sandwich. I shake my head at myself, disgusted by my own thoughts. This boy.

“Heading to work?” Madison asks me when she meets me at my locker after the final bell. “Yep, have to lock up again and work on my song,” I tell her, shutting my locker and shouldering my bag. “Do you think he’ll be there again?” I chuckle, “It would surprise me if he wasn’t. He’s been at the store every day since the day I met him.” Madison raises her eyebrows again. That’s how she looks at me a lot lately. “Someone has a crush on you.” That mischievous grin appears on her face again, and it just makes me shake my head disapprovingly, but I can’t help but smile too. The thought of him having a crush on me disgusts me and makes me feel all giddy inside at the same time. “Yeah, sure,” I say, “See you tomorrow, Madi,” I wave at her, leaving her behind at the school to make my way to the Music Store, where, to no surprise of mine, I find Charlie at the guitars again. He doesn’t even notice me walking in. “There’s only one customer left,” Ash tells me, “He’s been here a lot, hasn’t he?” “What? No? This surely is the first time I see him,” I reply, not being able to hide the sarcasm. “Just lock up when you’re done,” she says throwing me the keys before hopping across the counter. She’s the only person who could ever do that so smoothly. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she yells over her shoulder and rushes away before I can come up with a good comeback. Completely leaving Charlie to his devices, I begin sweeping up the place. Scattered sheet music goes back in its place, dropped food wrappers are being picked up and thrown away, misplaced instruments go back into their place. I’m nearly done when I hear Charlie cough behind me. “Ah, Charles. Didn’t see you there,” I say when I turn around to face him. “Well, yeah… People tell me I can be very quiet,” he replies awkwardly. I hardly believe that. He’s the most obnoxious person I have ever met. “I wanted to ask; did you finish that song we sang the other day? I really liked it and I thought maybe if you’d finished it, we could sing it together?” My eyes widen at the mention of the song. Should I tell him the truth? “Uhm, no, I haven’t finished it yet.” The lie rolls off my lips before I can stop it. “Great! I actually had this idea for a verse last night,” he reaches into the pocket of his skinny jeans and a piece of folded up paper appears. “I think it would sound good as a bridge.” He unfolds the paper as he says it and then places it on top of the piano wing, reaching just past me. I get a whiff of his deodorant and aftershave. A blend of minty fresh and musky undertones. I realize it’s my favorite scent in the world. “I feel your rhythm in my heart, yeah You are my brightest, burning star, woah-woah I never knew a love so real We're heaven on earth, melody and words When we are together we're” He looks up at me every now and again when he’s singing. And all it does is cause hurricanes in my mind and the rhythm of my heart quickening. “And then it goes back into the chorus you wrote,” he finishes, breaking our eye contact once again. “Because, you know, that was really good.” He awkwardly coughs again. His eyes pleadingly looking up at me from underneath the strands of hair. That’s when I realize he isn’t wearing the beanie I’ve seen him with so many times. His brown locks lay messily across his head, but it creates a rougher look, which works for him. “Yeah, okay, thanks, Charles,” I say, recomposing and returning to the tougher façade I’m used to putting up around him. “You done? I need to clean up.” I point around the room to emphasize my lie. The room is entirely clean, I just need to get out of the situation. “Why are you pushing this away, Emily?” The question takes me aback a bit. “It’s obvious we’re supposed to write this song together. With both our ideas and creativity together, we can create so many amazing songs. This is meant to be, Emily. Why can’t you see that?” I’m not entirely sure what he means by ‘meant to be’. We are? Or as a band? Or a singer-songwriter-duo? I don’t even have the time to ask him, because he’s already turned around and making his way to the door. “I write alone,” I tell him quickly, causing him to freeze with his hand on the doorknob. He looks back at me with those pleading puppy eyes. “So, whatever you think is meant to be, it’s not going to happen.” He simply nods his head at that. “Good to know.” For the rest of that night, I wonder if that’s going to be the last I hear of him.

Even Uncle Mitch can tell something’s wrong when I’m in the kitchen making myself some food after my shift. He stares at me with those worried green eyes of his and sits down across from me at the table. “You want to vent?” he simply asks, which he knows is enough for me to break. I take a deep breath, wondering where to begin in this story and what to leave out for my old Uncle’s sake. “There’s this boy—” before I can continue, he jumps up. “Who do I need to chase down?” he tries to sound tough, but Uncle Mitch is the gayest of all the gays. He’s not afraid to show off his more feminine side. But in situations like this, when he pretends to be all tough dad and everything, it’s just kind of endearing. Because that’s not at all who he is. “No one, Uncle Mitch.” He slowly sits back down and lets me continue, propping his head onto his hand, elbow resting on the tabletop. “This boy always comes into the Music Store during my shifts. He either has this excuse to be there, buying picks or strings or polish or whatever, and one night he asked if he could stay and play some guitar whilst I clean up because he wanted to escape his parents,” I take a deep breath, remembering what my parents told me when I said what college I wanted to go to. “I couldn’t say no to that, could I?” Uncle Mitch hums with a small smile on his face. “So then he sang part of a song he wrote and it kind of matched with the song I was writing, so I sang along with him, and then we sang the chorus together and our voices match really well and they blend so beautifully and I bet you would’ve gotten goosebumps, Uncle Mitch,” he chuckles at that, “And today he came up with a bridge for the song and he sang it to me and it was perfect and I kind of shook him off. I should’ve told him how beautiful it was, but I didn’t.” I sniffle, tears pooling in my eyes, and I’m not even sure why. “And then he asked why I pushed him away because we’re meant to write songs together and I don’t disagree with him but…” I trail off as sobs take over my body. “But you can’t write songs with anyone else but your Uncle Bobby,” Uncle Mitch finishes, his voice sounds closer suddenly. When I wipe away the tears, I feel his arms snake around my body. All I can do is place my hands on his, and softly cry as he speaks. “I know it’s hard, Muffin, but you have to know that your Uncle Bobby wouldn’t want you to stop making music. He’d tell you to go for it if he heard how well the two of you work together. I think you know he’d want you to work with this cute boy.” “I never said he was cute,” I chuckle between the sniffles. “You’re crying at the dining table about a boy. If he’s not cute, I don’t know what you’re crying about.” He lets go of me and assesses me from a distance. I look up at him. “He’s cute right?” I nod my head. “I’ve taught you well.” He presses a kiss to my head and makes his way out of the kitchen. “I don’t know what to tell him when I see him again though? If I ever see him again.” “Just make sure your song is finished and show him what you’ve made of it. Then he’ll realize you’ve changed your mind.” I nod my head, taking in all the advice. “And I’m sure you’ll see him again, Muffin. You’re a catch.” He winks at me before completely disappearing out of the kitchen. “It’s creepy when you say that!” I shout after him before turning back to my food. “But it’s not when Cutie from the Music Store says it!” I hear him faintly somewhere in the house. Uncle Mitch is the best person in the entire world. I wouldn’t know what to do with him. Mom and dad wouldn’t know what to tell me in a situation like this. Dad would probably hunt Charlie down and mom would tell me I wasn’t ready for a relationship with a boy. Thank Heaven’s for Uncle Mitch. The light in the darkest dark. He’ll shine bright forever.

Taglist: @parkeret @lukeys-giggle

Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie #charlie x oc #jeremy shada #owen joyner #madison reyes #Luke Patterson #reggie jatp #alex jatp #julie molina #oc emily fox

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wordsablaze · 4 years ago

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hardest of hearts

A fix-it songfic inspired by a request for something post-mountain where Geralt feels guilty for hurting his bard and Jaskier struggles with low self-esteem...

A/N: @holisticfansstuff hey, i finally wrote this for your ask !! sorry it took a while and i’m not quite sure this is what you wanted but i hope it’s alright !! the song is hardest of hearts by florence + the machine x

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

And with that one sentence, Jaskier shatters.

And everything changes.

there is love in your body but you can’t hold it in

Meletite knows Jaskier has had enough practice picking up the broken pieces of himself, whether it’s literally pulling his skin back together after being too troublesome or reassembling the shards of his heart after someone carelessly, unknowingly damages it.

He’s broken and been broken countless times before and really, it should be nothing new to witness himself do so once more. Because Jaskier has always loved freely and deeply, but it had been different this time.

And yes, he’s long since lost track of how many windows he’s leaped out of before the sun has risen or how many hushed promises have turned into hazy tavern memories. But this time, it was Geralt.

It was his livelihood and his muse and his very reason for making it through winter, and it was different to any other love he’d nurtured - it was the only one he’d offered slowly and steadily, the only one that had been so sharply spat back at him.

Never has he struggled so much to even breathe right as he turns away.

it pours from your eyes and spills from your skin

Geralt is so, so fiercely angry that he forgets how to be guilty.

That is, until he sees Jaskier’s expression, because Jaskier should be angry or upset or amused but he’s simply a brave face, a faux smile, a testament to Geralt’s mistakes.

An excuse is made about collecting the rest of the story but they both know there’ll never be an accurate song sung about a dragon hunt. And if Jaskier’s expression isn’t enough, the bitter sorrow and sharp pain that radiates from him even after Geralt has turned around is evidence enough.

He’s messed up and he’s messed up horribly and he’s frozen in place as he hears Jaskier’s footsteps fade until they’re too far to follow.

Part of him hopes Jaskier will stay so things can go back to normal but by the time he remembers to move, the only trace left of him is a lingering floral scent that does nothing to fill the sudden void in Geralt’s world.

tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks

Jaskier walks until his feet hurt and then he carries on walking because that’s what he always does when his heart breaks. Only this time he’s certain the blisters on his feet will heal long before his heart does, if it ever does.

He’s no stranger to this sort of pain, he’s travelled a path paved with the disdain of people he’s loved, but Geralt’s blow seems to have hit the hardest of them all despite never truly touching him.

And worst of all, he doesn’t dare sing about it lest anyone get the wrong idea about witchers, for that would unravel decades of effort and he couldn’t bear to see their kind suffer just because it turns out he has a weak heart.

“Toss a coin to your witcher…” he sings, tempted to toss and lose the coin that’s been nestled in his pockets since Posada.

He’s a fool for keeping it, he knows he is, but he can’t bear to part with it, can’t bear to admit that he’s been cast aside by yet another love.

and the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts

It’s no secret that Geralt is a quiet person by nature.

He’s never pretended otherwise, which is why it was such a shock when Jaskier slots into his life as if he were born to do so.

Because Jaskier talks enough for the both of them and he becomes an expert in knowing what Geralt is feeling, even when he himself hasn’t figured it out. And Geralt hates it at first, hates the way Jaskier knows when he needs help with bargaining or when he just wants to get away from people and shelter in the forests.

He knows he doesn’t express his gratitude enough, he knows that Jaskier deserves someone who can match his love, who can hold his hand in broad daylight instead of curling up with him in the dead of night under the pretence of necessity.

It doesn’t bother Jaskier though, and all the bard asks for in return is tales of heroics and heartbreak for his songs - Geralt hates himself for so harshly providing the latter.

there is love in your body but you can’t get it out

Sometimes, just sometimes, Jaskier regrets building up his career on Geralt’s adventures.

He’d never imagined that they’d part ways - or rather, he’d let his guard down and forgotten to remember that most people leave him eventually - so he’s wholly unprepared for how much it hurts to sing about witchers when he’s no longer travelling with one.

But he does it anyway because he’s loved Geralt from the start and he doesn’t think he’s capable of ever not loving Geralt and he doesn’t know what else to do with himself.

So he keeps going.

On and on.

He travels as far as he can so that he can stay out of Geralt’s way, taking his broken heart with him and ignoring the way he feels like its shards are tearing into his insides a little more with each passing day.

it gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth

There is more than one town in which Geralt wants to murder a bard.

His bard - for that is what everyone knows Jaskier as - has created masterpieces and they are being butchered by men with far lesser voices, by men who don’t deserve to sing them in the first place.

And Geralt yearns to hear the original versions but it seems he is fated to hear Jaskier’s pain second-hand. He asks around, of course he does, for where to find Jaskier, but nobody knows what to tell him and he has never been good at bargaining for information.

He wishes he knew how to say more than please and thank you but Jaskier was his communication and without him, he can only really achieve the minimum required from him.

Regret pools in his gut every time Jaskier’s trail fizzles out.

sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face

Performance has always been Jaskier’s area of expertise but gods is it difficult to pretend he isn’t drowning in the love he was never meant to keep for himself.

He doesn’t know what to do with his compliments and his teasing and his fond exasperation because all of it was for Geralt and if Geralt doesn’t want it, doesn’t want him, he doesn’t know what to do with it, with himself.

He wastes some of his unwanted love on drunken adventures and always regrets it when he’s asked to stay and give up his travels or asked to leave and flee before a betrothed returns - both demands are knives that sink into his chest and add to the cracks in his heart.

It seems that nobody can truly understand what pleases him but he cannot fault them for he has forgotten how to be honest, whether it’s with others or himself.

Jaskier is tired of loving and hurting as if they are one and the same.

that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

“I care for you,” Geralt tells Ciri.

“I want you to be safe,” he adds sincerely.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, because he is.

But all he’s doing is repeating what Jaskier had done, what Jaskier had taught him, and the words sometimes refuse to leave his lips because even they know someone else should have had the right to hear them first.

And all Geralt can do is hope Ciri understands that he means well, he really does. She does, of course, because she is far smarter than she seems and because she too has learned from Jaskier - another fact that sends wave after wave of sour guilt through his mind.

With no way to cure it, his guilt only festers.

darling heart, i have loved you from the start

Jaskier was a mere infant the first time he was abandoned, not that he truly remembers the woman who had decided she didn’t want to take care of him anymore. He only knows because his parents had held it against him, as well as every other heart he failed to win over, right from the start.

Geralt hadn’t abandoned him, Jaskier reminds himself every time he feels anger rise inside of him, he was the one who had abandoned Geralt. And he feels terrible, especially after hearing about Cintra, about Nilfgaard, about everything.

A part of him firmly believes that Geralt is safe because he refuses to think that the love of his life could die without him feeling it, but a part of him is too scared to hold onto that faith.

“I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting…” he sings, because he is.

But only ever for his white wolf.

but you’ll never know what a fool i’ve been

Geralt takes Ciri to Kaer Morhen and feels sick when his brothers tell him how soldiers have been none too gently questioning any bards they come across.

He feels stupid when he realises that all this time, he’s been endangering Jaskier by not trying hard enough to find him, to make sure he’s okay, to apologise for his cruel words on the mountain.

And he feels even worse when he thinks of what little Jaskier has told him about his past, of how he had never spoken of his parents, of how his touch had lingered as if waiting for permission that he hadn’t thought to grant.

Oh, how ungrateful he had been of the first person to teach him the true meaning of emotions.

“You have to find him,” everyone says, and he can’t bring himself to argue.

there is love in our bodies and it holds us together

Funny how one can never be prepared for the sting of a whip, Jaskier thinks.

A brief flirt with fame had inflated his ego but no matter because bleeding out in a stone cell is the perfect way to remember that he is nothing and means nothing to anyone.

He lives, of course he does, but only because he hangs onto the possibility of once more meeting a golden gaze the same way he hangs from the ceiling and ruins his wrists, which is to say he does so every day.

And he’s okay with all the superficial agony inflicted upon him because although nobody learns anything from him, he learns from them that they’re still searching, that Geralt is safe, and that he has no true reason to be upset.

He doesn’t even care that there’s not a single person he can think of who would bother trying to save him.

but pulls us apart when we’re holding each other

Witchers cannot travel in time but Geralt so dearly wishes they could.

He doesn’t find Jaskier before snow starts to fall and travel becomes impossible.

He fails and it’s his fault that Jaskier is out there somewhere - possibly hurt, possibly dead, and possibly worse - when he is given warmth and love and everything his bard deserves more than him.

A deep chill settles into his very bones and although he is offered blankets, he knows it cannot be averted except by Jaskier’s touch. Oh, how he craves the warmth of sharing a bedroll and waking up at ungodly hours so Jaskier can learn about the constellations for his newest ballad.

He wants nothing more than to take back his words and keep Jaskier in his life, in his arms.

we all want something to hold in the night

A noble lineage meant that Jaskier was taught independence before anything else.

It meant he was always “a big boy who needs to stop wasting time” and “not a child anymore, for goodness sake” and “such a pathetic excuse of a noble, you should know better than that by now” but he was never truly loved.

And he never learned that he was meant to be loved, never learned that the affection he gave was supposed to be returned in equal.

So as Jaskier wobbles and stumbles through his escape, collapsing into the forest floor when his legs refuse to support his weight any longer, he just closes his eyes and pretends that he’s not in his own arms, that he’s in the arms of someone who cares enough to look for him.

But of course, he’s not.

And he wakes up alone.

Over and over again.

we don’t care if it hurts or we’re holding too tight

Geralt leaves at the first sight of spring.

He couldn’t possibly wait a day longer when he’s made Jaskier wait so long, even though he can’t be sure if Jaskier is even still waiting for him or if he’s moved on, which he had every right to do.

He forgets how to plan and finds that his resources run out before he’s crossed even two towns, but he makes do from under the cover of shadows and night because he couldn’t bear to give up, not on Jaskier.

With the bounty on his head, he finds himself fighting monsters just to survive rather than for coin. And with the bounty on his head, he finds himself having to treat his own injuries because he can’t ask a healer and he doesn’t have his best friend to help him.

Nothing hurts as much as Jaskier’s absence.

darling heart, i have loved you from the start

The only reason Jaskier survives past winter is because he heads to the coast.

He’s lucky that despite his reputation for trading secrets, he’s never traded all of his own. He’s always kept his love of the open water to himself and that’s the only reason he makes it there at all.

It still hurts to curl up inside his secret little coastal home though, because he’d spent so long imagining what it would be like to bring his- to bring Geralt with him. But he knows that can’t happen because Geralt had grown tired of him and wants nothing to do with him.

He doesn’t have a lot of food and he knows he should be concerned about that but he can’t bring himself to care because for the first time in over two decades, he doesn’t have anything - note, anyone - to live for.

but that’s no excuse for the state i’m in

It’s harder than it had seemed to travel without being seen.

Geralt knows how to hunt. He knows when to hide and when to begin travelling but for some reason, getting to Jaskier is far more difficult than any contract he’s ever taken.

He’s never been one for Destiny but he finds himself practically praying to her for a way to reach his- for a way to reach who he so dearly wants to make his again. His bard, his friend, his Jaskier.

Roach jerks to a halt every time he almost falls asleep whilst still on the saddle but he doesn’t learn from it, he can’t afford to when he so desperately needs to make amends, so desperately needs to figure out how much damage he’s caused and then fix it before he loses the best part of his life.

Desperation has never been his colour but then again, he's never cared for being fashionable.

my heart swells like a water at work

There’s a knock at the door but Jaskier doesn’t have the energy to move.

He stays where he is, huddled by a fire that’s long since run out of fuel to burn, and hopes that if it’s another mage, they kill him quickly this time. But it’s not.

“Jaskier, please!”

He blinks.

It can’t possibly be who he thinks it is, who he wants it to be, can it?

It can.

“Jaskier?” Quieter this time, as if he’s worried.

And then a crashing thud echoes, followed by his favourite set of footsteps and a hand on his shoulder.

He flinches without meaning to, not sure if he wants to laugh or cry. Geralt offers him a small smile and he promptly decides to do both.

can’t stop myself before it’s too late

“I’m sorry, Jaskier, I’m so sorry.”

It’s an apology long overdue, Geralt knows that, but he has to try, he can’t stop himself from trying, not this time, not when it comes to Jaskier.

And he looks so awfully small wrapped in blankets that Geralt can feel his heart clench. He feels even smaller when he melts into Geralt’s touch as if he’s never been granted the luxury of being held as he cries.

“I know,” Jaskier replies between sobs.

There’s so much more that Geralt needs to say but it’s a start and it’s more than enough because Jaskier is alive.

“Come to Kaer Morhen with me,” Geralt says, not sure if he’s asking or demanding or begging. But it doesn’t really matter which because Jaskier agrees all the same and he’s just glad he has another chance.

hold on to your heart

Jaskier doesn’t want to get comfortable again.

Well, he does. More than anything. But he doesn’t want to risk the consequences again, he doesn’t think he can live through another heartbreak because there’s so little of his heart left intact and he’s scared to lose himself entirely.

So he goes to the school of the wolves and he gets help for his injuries - and scars, but he doesn’t want to think about that any time soon - but he can’t bring himself to relax, not entirely.

He’s sure they can smell his constant worrying and he feels awful for being such a pain but he doesn’t know what he’s meant to do and his fingers itch for a lute but he doesn’t want to annoy anyone by asking for one.

“I’m okay,” he promises, knowing that it’s a broken one even as it leaves his lips.

‘cause i’m coming to take you

It’s a month before Geralt clocks on to the problem and risks leaving, returning just before dawn with a lute that he places on the table beside Jaskier’s bed.

It’s another week before music fills the building.

It's two more everyone finds themselves humming or singing along every time they hear the lute being played. And another before Geralt finds Jaskier waiting for him where he usually trains, a hesitant smile on his face. “Thank you.”

Geralt nods. “It was the least I could do.”

Jaskier frowns, slowly shaking his head and shuffling his feet. “It’s far more than that. Music, it- it’s almost everything to me, I can't explain it...”

Geralt exhales softly. “But I can understand it because, Jaskier, you’re almost everything to me.”

hold on to your heart

A childhood filled with recklessly throwing around his heart meant that Jaskier became more careful with who he truly trusted over time.

Not careful enough, but still too careful to forgive and forget.

But Geralt is patient and kind and more affectionate than Jaskier has ever seen him and he can’t help falling in love all over again, not that he’d climbed out of it in the first place.

He wants to let go of the dragon hunt, he really does, but Geralt’s words still sting and they, along with his mother’s and father’s and countless fleeting lovers’, flash in his mind every time he thinks about surrendering his heart once again.

And he’s scared, he’s oh so scared that Geralt will get bored of him, sick of him, fed up with him again.

‘cause i’m coming to break you

Geralt waits until summer is waving goodbye before telling Jaskier.

He can feel Jaskier’s doubt rising, he can feel the way he’s not sure whether he’ll be invited to stay for winter or not - he will, of course, because he has become one of their own and it would be foolish if he wasn’t.

But when a week goes by without even the faintest echo of a lute, he and Ciri gather up the prettiest flowers they can find and after their evening meal, he offers them to Jaskier.

“I love you,” he admits softly.

Jaskier is still for all of a few seconds before he starts crying.

And Geralt’s whole body is telling him to run because he hates to see tears in his favourite blue eyes but he resists that urge and slowly, carefully wraps his arms around the bard instead.

“I think I’ve loved you for a long time, Jaskier, and I don’t think I could ever not.”

Jaskier doesn’t reply, but he falls asleep in Geralt’s embrace and finally lets his guard down, and that’s answer enough for anyone.

hold on

The war rages on but Jaskier finally finds peace.

Nothing about their life is particularly easy but he has never been more at ease because as much as Geralt had hurt him, he’d also helped him to heal far more than anybody else ever has.

“You have my heart,” he confesses one morning, after waking up to Geralt’s rare but increasingly more common smiles.

“You can keep it to yourself, your love is enough for me,” Geralt murmurs.

Jaskier blinks slowly, suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. He doesn’t, but he does curse softly. “When did you become so poetic, my dear witcher?��

Geralt chuckles, pulling him impossibly close and leaning right beside his ear to reply, “When you taught me how, my dear bard.”

It takes a matter of seconds for Jaskier to decide that he wants to get married.

hold on

Geralt says very little the day they lawfully commit to spending the rest of their lives together.

He says very little as Yennefer and Ciri craft their rings and loop them into matching chains. He says very little as Eskel and Lambert place their bets on who’s going to cry first - they’re both idiots, it’s obviously Jaskier - or who’s going to remain dry-eyed. And he says very little as Vesemir gives them his blessing.

But when they return to their room, Jaskier places his hands on either side of Geralt’s face and smiles softly. “Geralt, my love, will you tell me what’s wrong? You’ve barely said a word.”

And finally, Geralt cracks. “We vowed to stay with each other until we die, right?”

Jaskier raises an eyebrow. “Of course, but I would have done that with or without the ceremony, you know that.”

“Witchers live for a long time, Jaskier. I-”

Jaskier places a finger on Geralt’s lips, grinning. “You beautiful fool of a witcher, do I look like the kind of bard that’s going to die any time soon?”

When Geralt really looks, it’s obvious that he doesn’t.

And so, with that one sentence, everything changes again.

For the better this time.

it's not particularly original, i know, but i really love this song and kind of let this write itself, and i have too many WIPs to have spent any longer trying to make this better :p hope it was okay anyway <3

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher sideblog: @itsjaskier

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