#harry styles x addicted!reader

[shawnxstyles]

addicted in the afterglow

DATE: JANUARY 20, 2023

summary: you meet up with harry to have sex again, but it’s completely different from before. it’s hard to stay quiet when interruptions keep knocking on his door. and this time when it’s over, you wonder if you two have something to lose.

words: 5.3k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [oral, nipple play], thigh riding, exhibition kink, slight edging, dirty talk, protected sex, i think that’s it?), mentions of drugs and alcohol, language, and angst at the end

note: this is part 3! i’m getting a lot of requests at the moment, and of course when i finished this i realized this was barely one of them 🫠 but enjoy anyway. previous part

—

Remember when you said you would never need him again? Twice? Well, you lied.

In the outrageous group chat that consisted of you and your four friends (did Harry really count?), you had used Harry’s number for the first time.

You hadn’t even labeled his contact, it was just a naked set of numbers. You weren’t even sure if it was his number because he rarely responded in the group chat. However, you didn’t care when you typed out a single word into a message and pressed send.

Y/N: harry.

It wasn’t a question. You could guess his answer. However, you didn’t expect him to answer, since he always complained about how busy he was. His complaints about his time were worthy of your biggest eye roll because he probably spent most of his time fucking every number in his contacts.

Sadly, you soon hoped that would be you.

You named his contact before closing your phone, only for it to light up with a message from the random number instantly.

dickhead: Y/N

You were surprised he knew it was you immediately like he hadn’t labeled your contact to begin with. You considered if you should talk him up a bit or just get to the point. You didn’t want to seem needy or desperate (you were), but you chose the latter.

Y/N: i’m in the mood for some sex. know a guy?

You couldn’t go directly into it. He needs to want it too. Plus, your attitude was part of the package, you couldn’t help it.

dickhead:: I do

dickhead: What’s the catch?

Harry smirked at your messages. His quick response was for a reason. He had pulled out his phone to text you the same thing. It’s like you two were connected in a very twisted way.

He wanted you. So bad.

He was getting close to begging you to have sex. Surprisingly, he hasn’t had sex with anyone but you since you’ve hooked up. He’s gone out to bars and even a few clubs hoping to find a one-nighter, but no one lights him up like you do.

There’s something about your distaste for him that makes him want to pursue you more and more. Something about your passion. Something about your sounds. Something about your smile.

Harry wouldn’t let himself get farther than that. That was a scary place to think. To feel.

But he has been thinking about you nonstop. That stupid, flighty, and tingly feeling that he remembers all too well fiddles with his heart and he hates it. It’s only ever led him down the wrong path.

Why you out of all people? You’re the last person that wants him.

Y/N: i got a girl for you

dickhead: Seems only fair

dickhead: Want his address?

Mild surprise fills your face. It makes no sense for you to go over there when you don’t have a car and you live alone. But you know better than to ask or beg him for anything. His invite must mean Rina and Sean aren’t home anyway. This is very risky, but he always has to make everything so difficult, doesn’t he?

Y/N: i have a pretty good idea where he might live

Y/N: tell him i’ll be there in 20

dickhead: Stalker much?

Heading to your small bathroom, you freshen up before leaving for Rina's place. You refuse to call it Harry’s place when he just moved in there, and you didn’t want to catch yourself slipping in front of your friends. You didn’t notice the small smile on your face until you peeked at the mirror. You wipe it clean off with a shake of your head. Dialing a quick Uber, you pocket your phone and wait for the car to arrive.

Wasting money on him. A shame.

—

Knocking on the front door, you try not to seem impatient and well, horny. It’s only been a handful of days since you two have had sex. But God, did your body crave him. You felt that familiar pulse between your legs while you waited for him to open the door.

A shirtless (and hatless) Harry wides the door. You clench your jaw to keep your eyes on his, so they don’t scroll down his body. His toned, tanned abs cause a flutter in your lower belly and a pool in your panties. You made sure to wear a skimpy pair underneath your leggings. When a small smirk begins to arise on his lips, you push yourself into the house with a grimace, despite the bubbly feeling floating in your stomach.

“So where is he? Looks like I’m at the wrong place,” You sass, arms crossed while he shuts the door. That familiar smirk never leaves his face, ever. He strides past you and up the staircase, discarding your presence completely.

“He might be in here,” He points to what you assume is his bedroom. You roll your eyes with an irritated huff before trailing up the stairs.

His decor is so plain; white walls, brown dresser, queen bed. His bed is coated with gray sheets, which appear soft with little to no wrinkles and a couple of pillows with a single head dent. A solo Led Zeppelin poster sticks to his wall, adding some personality. Stacks of boxes are scattered in the corner and you assume it’s all of his belongings he hasn’t organized yet. Although it lacks so much, his room is so… him. Which you would say he lacks so much, but then you remember the way his thick cock stretched you out and fucked you into oblivion and hold it back.

“Led Zeppelin. Should’ve known,” You nod your head, your arms still crossed. He shuts and locks the door behind you and walks over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

“I have others. I haven’t had time to put everything up,” He simply states, and you try your hardest not to infamously roll your eyes.

He never has time for anything.

“What do you have time for?” You quirk an eyebrow as you slowly make your way over to him until you’re standing in front, basically in between his knees. How did he have time for this? Harry stares up at you and licks his lips. Your heart jumps at the sight, but you refuse to let it flee in your chest.

“You,” His voice lowered, but his tone was soft. Screw your heart fleeing, it was flying around in your chest. He rests his hands on your hips, circling the clothed skin. Your clit throbbed with need while your stomach erupted in butterflies.

What is wrong with you?

You came here for a rough fuck like the last two times you’ve been together. But the energy was different today. Although he was sarcastic and arrogant as per usual, he was softer today. He gazed at you a little too long and his fingers were hypnotizing on your hips. You had a feeling you would get something a bit different today. For some reason, you liked it.

Who have you become?

You followed the soft tug of his hands until you sat on his muscular thighs. Your breathing increased with every passing moment. Your eyes locked with his green ones and you nearly choked just staring at him.

Look away.

But you couldn’t. You were so entranced by him, it scared you. Your clit pulsates heavily and your legs would soon begin to shake around him from seduction. His softness was leaving you speechless; you lost all your wit and attitude that you had had when you first texted him.

“Didn’t expect this, did you, princess?” Harry’s voice is quiet and gentle, completely different from anything you’ve ever heard from him. You thought maybe you really did show up at the wrong house and this was a some multiverse version of Harry. But his words and a gentle squeeze on your hips confirm that this really is your Harry, just… softer. What? “Use your words. Or did you lose them?”

“I…” Your mind was hazy and he hasn’t even done anything. “I didn’t expect this.”

“Good. I like to keep you on your toes. Let’s try something new,” He grips your hips steadily and shifts you onto only his left thigh. You notice his tiger tattoo before he places you gently onto it. You bite your lip just peeking at it. “You like my tattoo?”

His lip curls upwards in a sly smirk and you take a shaky breath, waiting for his next move. Harry begins to slowly rock your hips and you gasp from the sudden friction on your clit. Your leggings on his bare skin shot electricity through your nerves, releasing a whimper from your throat. You lean over, your face in your neck.

What the fuck is going on? You don’t like soft. You like hard and rough. What is…

You thoughts are scrambled when Harry thrusts his thigh upward, causing you to moan into his neck. You continue to grind on him, even when he stops moving you. You increase your rhythm, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Mm,” Another lustful moan slips from your lips and you’d mentally curse at yourself, but everything felt so good you didn’t care. You run your hands along his bare torso, scratching delicately before he thrusts into you again. You revolve your hips in a circular motion, rubbing your clit dangerously good. “fuck.”

“That’s it. Fuck yourself on my thigh,” He murmurs deeply in your ear and you clench around nothing. Your clit throbbed desperately and you huffed rapidly as your high approached you.

Suddenly, he stops you and you don’t have time to react before he flips you onto his mattress. He hovers over you, deep green eyes searing into yours. Your jaw tightens, frustrated that he edged you.

He does it every time and it just reminds you of why you hate him.

But he always makes up for it with mind-blowing orgasms…

He watches your jaw tick and anger rise, and he can’t help but smile just a bit. He loves annoying you. It means he’s in control.

“I’ve always wanted to taste you. Can I?” Harry’s rough palms return to your hips, playing with the hem of your leggings. You don’t hesitate to nod because it’s rare for a man to want to eat you out.

You can’t deny that you’ve been thinking of it too.

He tugs your pants until they’re completely peeled off and on the floor. He smirks at your legs widening quickly and your wet panties. Harry presses a thumb to your clit, feeling it pulsate under him through the cotton material. You yelp, instinctively rolling your hips into his touch.

Harry feels his rock-solid cock twitch at the sight and feeling. He wants nothing more than to sink so deep into your folds that you forget your own name, but he’s been dying for a taste of you. Hopefully, his mouth can have the same effect.

Although you have an iron-exterior that makes it hard to ever call you sweet, Harry has a feeling you’ll taste better than his favorite candy.

Discarding your panties, he spreads your legs wider than they had been. Heat crawls up your neck as smoke fumes from your ears, impatient and upset that he is going so slow. Your cunt is glistening with arousal, more than ready for him and he’s going slow.

Seeing this, he doesn’t make you wait any longer because you look too delicious to only stare.

The air was cold against your blazing skin until his warm tongue heats up your entire body. Harry’s tongue immediately attaches to your clit, sucking greedily. Your hands fly to his tousled hair, tangling your fingers and yanking. Your free hand palms your breasts through your shirt as your nipples tighten painfully good. He groans against you when you push him into you, sending an electric vibration throughout your whole body.

He gladly explored your cunt, memorizing each inch with his lips. His soothing tongue laps your juices like he can’t get enough of you, like he would die if he didn’t have you.

Your legs tense and find their way around his shoulders. Your back arches achingly as you shove his head impossibly closer. He inserts his skillful tongue into you, eliciting a nosy moan that would surely wake anybody if they were sleeping. It was warm and smooth, and the sensation made your eyes roll to the back of your head.

His delicate acts leading up to this made the pleasure feel dirtier. It made you feel like you were an innocent who just committed a sin. He was the devil and you were an angel.

“Harry, I,” You pant, while your eyes peer down at him. Harry’s nose pokes at your clit when he looks back at you. His glare itself told you he wanted you to come and he wanted it now. Even if he was being soft, he was still secretly in control. You’d never admit that though. “I’m gonna come—”

The blissful wave flushes over you as your head falls back in ecstasy. Back arching, all your muscles spasm and quake as you fall down from your cloud of euphoria. Harry drinks and swallows all of your cum like it was liquid candy in a cup. Your eyes flutter shut as your thighs quiver slightly, attempting to relax. Although he’d been tender from the start, nothing about his desire felt tender. He devoured every drop of you like he was dying of thirst. You’ve never had a man eat you out so vigorously yet sweet, and it was one of the most attractive things you’ve ever experienced.

Why was a part inside of you glad it was from Harry?

“Fuck,” You whine, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. You don’t even have to look at him to feel his smirk seeping through your heated, perspired skin.

“That good?” He crawls up your body, his infamous smug look cascading his face devilishly. He tauntingly swipes the frizzy hair away from your blown-out eyes, admiring your features. Your pupils were huge and your bottom lip was swollen from biting down too hard. Harry wanted to suck it until it bled as you huffed and puffed at his demeanor.

“You didn’t let me finish,” You sass, shooting daggers at him.

“Of course I let you finish. You came all over my—”

“That’s not what I meant!” You shouted and threw your head back into the pillow as familiar heat crept up your neck and ears in embarrassment. Your blood boils in irritation as your fingers fist tightly into your palm. It’s crazy how fast you can change up how you feel. “Fuck you.”

“I’ve been waiting to fuck you. Please, just say the word and I’ll have my cock in you in seconds, princess.” Harry’s voice is gravelly and low, loaded with lust and secret desperation. The control this man has on you is insatiable because you become speechless from his taunting, demanding words. Your clit throbs at his proximity, begging to feel him fill you up.

You hated how easily you gave into him.

You asked for him to fuck you, as politely as you could muster up, which was a heavy stink-eye and a sneer with the word please. You knew he was suffocating in his shorts, cock waiting to be surrounded by your fluttering cunt. You were soaked just thinking about it, and couldn’t wait any longer to have him pounding inside of you.

You discard your T-shirt on the ground. He can’t help but eye your hardened nipples as he rolls on the condom. He licks his lips as he rubs the tip around your drenched folds.

“So wet f’me,” He husks, slowly sliding into you. “Bet I’ll just slip right in. Like I always do—”

His words of foreplay are cut short when the sound of the front door alerts you both. You both freeze, sharing identical wide eyes as the door slams closed. His cock stills halfway inside of you.

“Harry, what the fuck?! I thought you said nobody would be here!” You whispered aggressively in his face. You were terrified, but you tried to hide it by fueling furiously at him.

“I never said that! They were supposed to be gone for hours!” Harry responds in the same hushed, yelling type of tone. Feet pad across the hall, nearing Harry’s bedroom door. You hold your breath in anticipation.

“Harry? You home?” Sean calls, not knocking on the door. Harry licks his lips before giving you one of the smuggest smiles you’ve ever seen. It scares you how he can be so nonchalant about you two damn-near getting caught! His cool demeanor made your fists tighten in annoyance because he doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the current situation.

“Uh, yeah. What’s up?” He answers with clenched teeth. Without warning, he thrusts fully into you, cupping your mouth in case. You gasp behind his rough palm as he pulls in and out deliberately. Your hips roll to grind against his cock, body emerging into his touch. Your heart races at the predicament, horrified of being caught, but your body yearns to continue the discreet, sinful act.

“Going to the pub. Wanna join?” Sean asks, probably leaning against the doorframe as he waits for an answer.

“Bit busy,” Harry tries to hide a groan as he flicks his hips savagely into your suffocating cunt, making your body squirm.

“Ah, finally hooking up again. ‘S been awhile,” He chuckles. “Hopefully, it’s that one girl you’re obsessed over.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Sean’s words. What girl? There’s been a girl this entire time and Harry never told you? Why was he hooking up with you? You really were just a side chick…

Before your mind can wander anymore, Harry is ramming into you viciously, skin slapping as you silently cry into his hand.

“I’ll see you later,” Sean walks away and eventually the front door closes again.

Harry releases his hand from your mouth and moves it down toward your aching clit. He feels your soaking folds with every pounding thrust, each more brutal than the last. He rubs fast circles on your bundle of nerves, eliciting an echoey moan throughout his plain room.

Harry wanted this to be sweet and sensual to see how you would react, but he couldn’t contain himself around you.

“I knew you liked being fucked in front of our friends. Don’t you?” He taunts, guttural voice seeping through your body causing you to shudder. You shake your head even though you secretly thrived off of it. You clench around him needily and he tsks, removing his thumb from your clit and moving it to your neglected, pointy nipples. “Your body says otherwise.”

You growl when he thrusts roughly, directly hitting your G-spot. Your mouth gaped open and your hands fly up to his muscular shoulders, stabbing him with your nails in bliss. Arching into him, you clutch around his cock desperately, chasing your orgasm as it comes into view.

Suddenly, another door opens and slams shut, but Harry doesn’t stop this time. He only pounds harsher into you and you wrap your legs around his waist to push him deeper. Your heart ricochets off the walls of your ribs, nervous for who you think is at the door as the quick steps approach.

“Harry!” Rina clamors and bangs on the door, clearly upset and irritated. It’s hard to focus on anything in the outside world when Harry indulges into you with every ounce of attention. “I don’t know why you would know this, but do you know where Y/N is? She hasn’t been answering my calls.”

Your eyes widen nervously, like maybe she can sense your presence in his room. The idea of you and him together was basically impossible and most definitely insane, so it wasn’t likely she thought that. Right?

“N-not sure,” Harry moans through his words, lacking disguise, but Rina doesn’t notice. You quietly whimper at his noises, loving his vocalness in bed. Everything that came out of his mouth in the sheets frustratingly turned you on, but everything outside just made you frustrated period.

“She’s been missing my calls more often now that I think about it… do you think something happened that she’s not telling us?” Rina innocently questions, oblivious to that fact that her best friend is getting fucked into oblivion by the most stupid, irritating, and attractive man she’s ever seen.

Harry pulls at your nipples, and you bite your lip harshly to restrain your moans. He twists and tugs until you're spasming uncontrollably around under his weight. You’re so close and he knows it. Harry smirks as your foreheads get damper with the sexual heat and the nervousness of the interaction.

“Maybe she’s with a guy,” Harry hints and you try to hide the gasp that escapes you too quickly. He lowers himself onto you, causing you to feel his warm, chiseled stomach against yours.

His cross necklace lays between your sticky bodies like a reminder about how sinful and wrong this is.

“Come right now. While she’s outside the door. Right fuckin’ now,” He pants, demanding in your ear and there’s not much you can do as you obey.

“Oh my god!! You’re right. I have to go find her!” Rina runs away and you don’t remember if you hear the front door close again as your stomach coils and hips shake. Your eyes squeeze tightly shut as your muscles lock up. Harry covers your swollen lips with his palm once again just in case, muting your muffled moans. Your thighs tremble harshly as your release drains from you. You feel your body levitate from the floating cloud of bliss surrounding you as you huff unsteadily against him.

Similarly, Harry’s teeth stab into his bottom lip as his cock twitches painfully inside of you. His thrusts are sloppy as his thighs clench together. He nearly tumbles off the bed as he releases his load into the condom, overwhelming euphoria cascading over him. You remain still, too many feelings invading your body, but your mind stays hazy.

Harry doesn’t hesitate to discard the condom with a knot and clean you up. He dabs soft tissues over your cunt, sensitive from the recent events. You subtly jerk and then he tosses it in the garbage.

One look at your fucked-our face and Harry was a goner. If he looked at you for a second longer, he would get hard again, so he dips his head away and flicks your shirt at you. He snatches a new pair of boxers and hangs them low on his hips.

As your mind gets back in order, you recall what Sean had said. Harry knew many girls, but he never settled. He wasn’t the type to commit to one person, so when Sean said that it shocked you.

“So who’s the girl? Do I know her?” You inquire as you slip your shirt back on, bottom half still bare. With his back facing you, he clenches his jaw in a straight line.

“He’s bullshitting you.” He’s going to fucking kill him.

“Didn’t sound like it to me. I mean, you’ve missed your daily dose of hook-ups because of her. She must be a pretty big deal,” You smirk as he remains silent.

It never clicks in your head.

You don’t even attempt to get up and leave, you just lay back on his bed with your head nudged into his indented pillow like you were staying. Your eyes gaze at the plain, drywall ceiling like it’s the most intriguing piece of art ever.

He should put a poster up there.

“No, really. He does that to get the girl jealous,” He licks his lips and tags you with a knowing look.

He wasn’t lying. Sean has done dipshit things like that before. But when he said that in front of you, it made his heart race and palms sweaty. He felt… embarrassed? Exposed? He couldn’t quite pinpoint the feeling, but it was volatile and impulsive. It had to be.

But then, in flashes, he remembers the few times he’s seen you smile. He remembers your laughter that he wished he caused. He remembers the moment he first saw a picture of you, and how it was horrible timing when you finally met. All of those moments give him a similar feeling.

Annoying you was entertaining because you were adorable when you were mad, even when you tried to be a biter. If he couldn’t make you smile or laugh, he had to do something. He avoided any sort of feeling because he couldn’t have you, so he had everyone else. He didn’t care, but secretly he did. God, it irritated the fuck out of him that you were an attracter and not a chaser. You had this magnetic pull that made him yearn for you and he hated it. He didn’t even know what he wanted exactly, he just wanted you.

Maybe he loves being in control so much because in the grand scheme of it all, you were the one in control. Whether you knew it or not.

“I am not jealous. There’s nothing to be jealous over,” You sit up on your elbows. You swear you notice the second of sadness in his eyes before he blinks it away. Maybe you only thought you saw it because you yourself felt a pang of sadness in your heart at your own words.

Why did you feel sad at all? You were just two people who had sex occasionally. You’ve hooked up with a handful of people in the past, and Harry a bunch himself. You wouldn’t call yourselves friends with benefits because you weren’t even friends. You couldn’t be anything more even if you tried because of how infuriated you made each other.

So why did you feel any dismay after saying that there was nothing between you two? After three times and being mutual “friends” for months before, you know subconsciously that there was something to lose. If only you could admit it to yourself and Harry, maybe you could be something.

Harry pushed down any and every feeling, convincing himself it was nothing. It was never anything. That’s what you said anyway, so that is what it was going to be. Nothing.

“You should probably go call Rina,” He swallows after multiple beats of silence, the atmosphere shifting. The usual fire in the air was gone, coldness suddenly cascading over you both. You nod distracted, slipping your damp panties and leggings over your shivering legs. For some reason, him telling you to leave felt like a rejection. You didn’t expect him to have you stay, even if he did live alone. But that ever-changing dismay grows over your heart slowly like ice.

Harry shakes his head. He wanted you to stay. He’s never wanted any of his hook-ups to stay. He hasn’t had anyone spend the night since…

Harry never talked about his love life. He didn’t count random sex as his love life, seeing as there is no love there. He’s had one girlfriend in the past. One.

She meant everything to him. Everything that a high school sweetheart was made out to be; sweet, funny, and easy. Sometimes, it felt like their love was fake because of how easy it all seemed. But as he grew up, things grew different between them. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, but he assumes it all stemmed from jealousy, insecurity, and drugs.

Harry didn’t go out a lot before her. She would drag him to every house party and he would go along with it naively. They drank and smoked together, faded laughter haunting his memory. Now, he tried not to get drunk and high like he used to because he remembered everything that was associated with his past. Weren’t drugs supposed to make you forget everything?

Alcohol. Ecstasy. Mushrooms. Fentanyl.

He’s not religious, but he thanks some higher power every day that he never got addicted. They experimented together in ways that connected people for life. But she wasn’t in it for life like he was. She was it for him. Harry was momentary for her.

He winced when he remembered the nights in some random person’s basement as he slipped a pill down his throat to impress her. He recalls the few nights they stayed in and just lied comfortably on his bedsheets, high on nothing but the presence of each other. The days were better when she wasn’t high because she was herself; the person he fell for.

She was obsessed over those little medicines that she snagged in a baggie, and she changed completely. She got controlling, manipulative, and angry, and horribly enough, Harry felt like he had too. Her twisting words and her mind games made him forget who he was.

Maybe in the real grand scheme of it all, his ex was the real reason why he loved being in control. Because he never was. It took everything in him to walk away, but the feeling still pinches him occasionally.

Like right now, staring at you. His heart ached because it was reminiscing the familiarity of the sweet beating he once had for her. The desire in his chest outweighs the logical facts that his brain wants to listen to. But like he did a few years ago, he finds it in himself to walk away. Or more so, to let you walk away.

As you trudge towards his locked door, you feel yourself about to cry. Water wouldn’t come out, but you had that restricting tension in your chest and that suffocating feeling wrapped around your throat. Hand on the handle, his voice slices through the silence.

“Wait,” He croaks and glides towards you. You don’t move. He couldn’t just watch you go. “do you want to leave?”

“What?” Your voice, quiet and breathy. He was setting you up and it made you anxious. If you said yes, but he didn’t want you to stay, you would have felt rejected twice now. But you knew you couldn’t stay, it was way too risky.

You slowly turn around to face him, denial on your tongue.

“Don’t leave,” Your heart skipped a beat.

“Harry, you know I can’t—”

“Then let’s go somewhere,” He suggests, eyes wandering around your face like he was trying to find an answer to every problem so you couldn’t deny him.

“Where? My place? What if Rina is there?”

“We don’t have to go there. We can go anywhere. Let’s just drive,” His eyes were green and glowy in a silent pleading. They were probably his puppy eyes, and you fell for them.

“I…” It was impulsive because you didn’t have time to get your thoughts or feelings sorted out. You definitely couldn’t do any of that while he was sitting right next to you driving. You felt vulnerable, but agreed. “Okay.”

Checking both ways, you both quietly pad down the stairs. Harry grabs his keys out of the small bowl and then you two head for his car. It was dark outside, late evening most likely. You hopped in the passenger seat as silence filled the air.

The revving of the engine didn’t stop your mind from overthinking as he drove along the empty roads. The tension was heavy with unspoken words that were desperate to be said. You couldn’t find the right ones as your brain scattered to think and your heart pounded with overwhelming emotions.

His words don’t leave echo in your mind. You knew it was odd how sweet and tender he was being when you first walked into his room. But those words felt entirely different from it all. They were laced with so many possible emotions; vulnerability, fear, sadness. You couldn’t depict which one he might be feeling. Maybe all of them.

There was one emotion you didn’t sense in those words, and that deep part inside of you that ached painfully beautiful hoped it was something he never felt when it came to you.

Regret.

—

tags: @harrysgf01 @whitemancumslut @raajali3

[dreamer-grl]

i need more love island themed stories… like LI!Harry @finelinevogue edition… STELLAR. I just saw a drabble with the footballers @boyfriendfc … I need more of this. Can more writers please crank these out. I’m talking series, blurbs, drabbles, one shots… i’m talking it all… Please!!!!

[signofspeed]

ᯓ★ MR. LOVER LOVER!

Harry has lots of love to share with the one he loves most (harry styles x f!reader, smut, 18+)

a/n: first Harry fic done! please reblog and show love if you’ve enjoyed :)

The soft light in the room made everything feel impossibly intimate, casting a golden glow across your skin. The air was thick with anticipation, with the soft hum of your breath filling the quiet space.

Harry was close, so close that you could feel the heat of his body radiating against yours, the unmistakable presence of him settling in the space between you. He had that effect on you—always able to pull you into his orbit, to make everything else disappear. You could feel his gaze on you, a look so intense that it made your pulse quicken, even before he touched you.

His hands were gentle as they moved over your skin, tracing the lines of your body as though he was learning every inch of you, again and again. His touch was slow, deliberate, making every nerve in your body awaken to his presence.

When his fingers brushed over the curve of your neck, you shivered, the softest gasp slipping from your lips. His lips followed soon after, leaving a trail of heat as they kissed their way down the length of your throat. He was kissing you like he had all the time in the world, each press of his lips against your skin making you feel more and more exposed to him in the best possible way.

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry murmured against your skin, his voice thick with desire, but also with awe, as though he couldn’t believe someone like you was here with him, sharing this moment. You could feel the reverence in his touch, the way his hands seemed to worship you, running gently over your back, moving to your waist, his fingertips brushing against the skin just above your hips.

His body was pressed against yours, his chest rising and falling in time with yours, but it wasn’t just the physical closeness that had you addicted to him—it was the way he made you feel. With every movement, every brush of his lips, every tender caress, you felt like you were the center of his world, like you could melt into him, and he would still hold you close, never letting you go.

His lips left your neck and found your mouth, the kiss deep and slow, building in intensity as he tugged you closer. You could taste the faint trace of his cologne, mixed with the sweetness of his mouth, and it drove you wild. The kiss was no longer just a kiss. It was a promise, a declaration. You could feel it in the way his tongue moved against yours, the way his hand slid down your body, sliding under the hem of your shirt to meet the smooth skin of your back. His fingers traced the line of your spine, sending a shiver through you, before his hand moved lower, finding the edge of your pants and tugging them down gently.

You didn’t pull away. You wanted him, needed him, but there was something about the way he undressed you, as if savoring every inch of your skin, that made you ache. When his hands touched the soft skin of your stomach, your breath hitched, his fingers brushing lightly over the curve of your hips. His movements were slow, measured, and you could feel the heat rising between you both, a slow burn that had you craving more.

He kissed down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, open-mouthed kisses as his hands moved further, sliding over your ribcage, before reaching for the waistband of your pants. His lips met the soft skin of your chest, kissing and teasing with a fervor that made your heart race. Every touch of his lips made your body react, made you want him more. He didn’t rush—he took his time, as if he wanted to savor every moment, every inch of you.

“Harry…” Your voice was soft, thick with desire, your hands reaching for him, pulling him closer. You didn’t want to wait. You needed him, needed the intensity of his touch.

But Harry only smiled, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “Let me make you feel good. I’m not going anywhere.”

His hands slid under your shirt, lifting it up and over your head, exposing the bare skin of your chest to him. He paused for a moment, just looking at you, as if savoring the sight of you in front of him. There was something in his eyes—something primal—that made you feel both vulnerable and desired. And in that moment, you wanted nothing more than for him to take control, to make you feel everything he had to give.

His lips found your skin again, moving over your chest, tracing the curve of your collarbone before dipping lower. He kissed his way down your body, each kiss driving you further into a haze of heat. When his lips found the soft swell of your breast, your breath caught, and you arched into him instinctively. His hand cupped your other breast, massaging it gently as his mouth continued its descent.

The sensation of his lips on your skin was intoxicating—slow, deliberate, teasing—but Harry wasn’t one to be rushed. He spent what felt like forever kissing his way down to your stomach, his lips tracing every inch of skin as he moved lower. He looked up at you once more, his eyes dark with desire, before he slid down further, his hands pushing your legs apart gently. There was a mutual understanding, an unspoken agreement that this was where you both wanted to be.

The moment his lips brushed over your inner thigh, a soft gasp escaped your lips. You could feel his breath hot against your skin, and the anticipation was almost too much. His hands moved to your hips, gently guiding you into place, and you could feel his body tense with the same desire that was coursing through you. His mouth was on you then, warm and eager, kissing and licking with a slow, teasing precision that made your head spin.

“Harry,” you whispered, a desperate, needy sound that had him pausing for just a moment, as if asking if you were okay.

His eyes met yours, and you saw the intensity in them, the way his gaze was almost possessive, as though he couldn’t wait to make you lose yourself in the moment, to let go completely.

His tongue flicked against you, soft at first, then deeper, the pressure building in a way that made you gasp.

The sensation was overwhelming, sending sparks through your body as his hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place as he explored you with a quiet intensity. Every movement was slow, deliberate, and filled with purpose. You could feel yourself unraveling under his touch, every flick of his tongue against your clit sending waves of pleasure radiating from the pit of your stomach.

The heat between your legs grew more intense, you became wetter, your breathing more erratic as he continued to kiss and lick you the way you liked it. He was making you forget the world around you, making you lose yourself in the sheer pleasure of his touch. Your body responded to him instinctively, your hips bucking against his mouth, needing more, craving the release that was just out of reach

He moved up your body, kissing you deeply, pulling you closer, before his hands slid to his cock, slowly guiding himself into you.

His hands moved to your hips, holding you still as he moved with an undeniable rhythm that had your body responding instantly.

Each thrust of his hips was slow but deliberate, building the tension in your body, making you ache for more. His body pressed against yours with a sensual force that made you feel both claimed and cherished, every move a reflection of his need for you, and his patience. Harry didn’t rush; every motion, every touch, was carefully timed, like he was savoring the taste of you, as though he wanted to draw out every last drop of pleasure.

Your hands found his chest, gripping his muscles as your body began to move with his, your hips lifting to meet him with a rhythm that matched his. He groaned softly at the feeling, his hands tightening around your waist, urging you on as the pleasure built between you both. You could feel his breath hot against your neck, his lips kissing and nibbling at your skin as his movements grew more urgent, more demanding.

“Let go for me,” he whispered, his voice thick with desire, and that was all you needed. Your body gave in, the tension inside you snapping as you cried out his name, your nails digging into his back. Harry’s name fell from your lips like a prayer, and in the moment that followed, you felt a rush of euphoria, like a storm washing over you. His movements stilled, and you could feel him follow you into the release, his body shuddering as he held you close, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both tender and all-consuming.

For a moment, the world outside ceased to exist. It was just you and Harry, intertwined, your bodies tangled in a web of love and desire. As his arms wrapped around you, holding you tight, you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction. This was more than just physical. This was connection—pure, unadulterated, and undeniable.

“You’re incredible,” he whispered against your ear, and you smiled, feeling the weight of his words settle deep in your heart.

You were his, in every sense of the word. And he was yours.

[hsunrry]

dressing room // one shot

harry styles x fem!reader

summary: based on this request.

|| masterlist ||

words: ~2k

tropes: personal assistant x harry (shy!y/n, slightly innocent!y/n)

warnings: smut18+, fingering, oral (f receiving), protected sex, slight size kink, praise

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

after his show, as always, you went to his dressing room to give him freshly baked cookies you made this morning. you knocked few times and after hearing quiet ‘come in’ you opened the doors.

“ah, yes, my favorite part of the show.” he smiled, gesturing you to come inside. he walked closer to you, grabbing box with cookies from you. “what do we have today, love?”

“red velvet, you told me one day that they’re your favorite, so i decided to finally bake them.” you smiled shyly. he chuckled, looking down at you.

“you’re so sweet y/n. so good for me.” he opened the box with cookies, humming after tasting one. “i’m afraid this ones are my favorite so far, you did good job, as always.”

“thank you Harry.” you smiled softly, looking up at him. he took last bite of the cookie, placing the box with them on the coffee table. he went back to you, placing his hand on your waist. you tensed slightly.

“no need to be nervous, darling. i wanted to say that i really like this dress of yours. suits you. all the flowers and green color over all.” he smiled warmly, looking down at you. his hand started moving up and down on your waist. he probably couldn’t see the blush on your face because of your makeup, but you could feel your cheeks burning. “you know, y/n… you’re always so good to me, especially with this lovely cookies you’re making just for me. i’d like to pay you back for that.”

“oh.. um, no need to do that, you’re paying me anyway.” you chuckled softly. he grinned, walking from you to the doors. he placed ‘do not disturb’ on the other side and he locked them. he went back to you, placing his large hand on your lower back.

“i’m not talking about cash, baby.” he caressed it with his fingers. you looked at him concerned. he chuckled, leaning down to your ear. his lips brushing against your earlobe. “tell me… would you let me touch you, y/n?” you could feel shiver going down your spine and heat spreading through your body. after few seconds you nodded quietly. you could feel him smiling against your ear, going with his hand from your lower back to cup your ass. he squeezed it softly, causing your gasp. “god, you’re so sensitive. can i kiss you?”

“yes.” you responded quietly. with his free hand he cupped your cheek, placing soft kiss on your lips right after. you melted into the kiss, moving your lips slowly against his. you could feel your cheeks burning fire, afraid that makeup won’t help in this situation.

“you can touch me too, if you want of course.” he mumbled between kisses. your hand was shaking slightly, but you managed to place your hand on his side, where the ribcage was. he smiled into the kiss. after few seconds he pulled out, looking at your face and lips. his thumb caressed your lower lip. “you taste so sweet, angel. i’m afraid i’m addicted.” he tucked your hair behind your ear. you licked your lips instinctively, his eyes dark with lust at this sight. “would you let me pay you back for the cookies?” you nodded. he grabbed the hem of your dress. “can we take this off then?” he smiled softly. you could feel your heart beating faster.

“yes.” you bit your lower lip nervously, looking at him. he groaned at the sight.

“you look so good like that. i can’t wait to taste you, sweetheart.” he slowly took off your dress, leaving you only in panties. “you’re so beautiful, fuck.” he gasped, looking at your naked breast. he gripped your waist with his hands, guiding you to the couch. he sat you down and leaned to left lingering kiss on your lips. he started placing soft kisses on your neck, going down with each peck. your breath was getting heavier already. it’s not like you were a virgin, but you had sex twice in your life, so you weren’t very experienced. even with the amount of porn you watched, it obviously was nothing compared to what’s happening now. his lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and licking in. his hand went to your other breast, squeezing it gently and playing with the nipple from time to time. you let out moans from all of this, feeling him smiling against your skin. eventually, he made it to the hem of your panties with his kisses. he looked up at you. “can we take this off?”

“yes.” quiet nod escaped your lips. after he took off your underwear, he licked his lips while looking at you. he gripped your hips, pulling you down to the edge of the couch, where he was kneeling in front of you. he hooked your legs on his shoulders, kissing slowly your inner thighs.

“relax and let me take care of you, alright?” he smiled, looking at you from between your legs, and oh god. if that’s not how pure sex looks like i don’t know anymore. he went back to kissing your inner thighs, going closer to your core. he started kissing your folds. you were looking down at him this whole time, your breath heavy from arousal. he finally licked you, from your slit to your clit, tasting you for the first time. he smiled and hummed. “you taste so good y/n. even better than this cookies you made for me.” he pressed his lips on you, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. you moaned and your hand instinctively went to his hair to hold onto something. he grinned against your pussy, working with his mouth and tongue. his one hand went to caress your thigh that was hooked on his shoulder and the other one went under his chin, softly teasing your entrance. he looked up at you. you could tell that even your makeup wasn’t helping with your blush anymore. when he slid two fingers inside you, your head snapped back immediately.

“oh my god.” you gasped, when he started moving in and out. he curled his fingers in perfect angle, to hit that sweet spot every time. your grip on his hair tightened slightly. of course you received oral before, but what he was doing was whole another universe. it was always ‘slippery nothing’. in fact you thought this is how it’s supposed to feel like. but not with Harry. what he was doing on you with his mouth, tongue and his fingers, was driving you to the edge very quickly. he picked up the pace of his movements, and you could feel your orgasm approaching quickly. you swallowed and panted, stuttering. “i- i’m close.” he moaned into your core and it was the final straw for you. your back arched and grip on his hair tightened. you moaned his name, breathing heavy and clenching on his fingers. he slowed down to get you through your high, pulling out his digits when you calmed down. he licked his fingers clean, looking at you. he sat next to you on the couch, kissing your temple and wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“how was it, baby?” he smiled against your temple, knowing damn well he did good, fantastic even.

“amazing.” you managed to say, suddenly feeling very naked. you covered your breast with your arm.

“oh sweetheart, no need to be shy, you’re perfect.” he grabbed your arm with his hand, uncovering your breast. he cupped your chin with his hand, turning your face to him. he kissed your lips softly, grabbing your hips soon after, making you straddle his lap. you felt how hard he was and how BIG he was. you gasped slightly into the kiss. you gripped the hem of his shirt, not sure if he wanted take it further, so you stopped your movements. he pulled out slowly. “we’re not gonna do anything more if you don’t want to, but i’d love to feel myself in that sweet pussy of yours.” he smiled, pecking your lips. you smiled softly, taking off his shirt. your hands went to the zipper of his jeans, undoing it. he caressed your waist up and down, looking at your movements. your hands were shaking slightly. he took them in his hands, raising them to his lips and kissing softly both of them. his eyes on you this whole time. “no need to be nervous, i got you.” he gently pushed you off his lap, standing up and taking off his jeans along with boxers. you swallowed and blushed when you saw his length. he quickly went to the small table next to the couch, grabbing condom. he sat down on the couch, patting his lap. “come here baby.” you nodded, going back astride his lap. he looked at you. “are you sure?”

“yes.” you smiled softly, watching him unwrapping condom and rolling it on his large cock. you licked your lips instinctively, looking at him. he saw your unsure expression.

“have you ever been on top like that?” he asked and you shook your head. he smiled, going with his hand on your pussy, slipping two fingers inside to check if you’re ready for his size. “i’ll guide you, you don’t need to worry.” he thrusted few times and then pulled out his fingers. he grabbed your hips, lifting them up and with one hand he positioned himself on your entrance. “just sit down, whenever you’re ready.” he caressed your hip. you bite inside of your cheek, sinking down on him. his dick stretching your walls deliciously, causing your loud moan. your hands went on the back of his neck, digging slightly. you sat all the way down, moaning and breathing heavy. “you okay?”

“yes, just need a second to adjust.” you said quietly, and he nodded, going on your waist up and down to soothe you somehow. after few seconds you started moving slowly up and down on him.

“fuck, yes baby, so tight, so perfect.” he gasped, gripping your hips to guide you. you started getting confident with your movements, so you started moving slightly faster. another loud moan escaped his lips. you leaned closer to his face to kiss him. your hand went into the back of his hair, pulling slightly. he groaned into the kiss. his hips started moving up to meet your movements. “i’m not gonna last long, you feel so good, such a good girl for me.” he panted, moving faster. you moaned, breaking the kiss from overwhelming pleasure. your head tilted back and sounds of pleasure coming from your lips. his cock sliding in and out so fast you could almost see stars.

“i’m so close.” you panted, and he went even faster.

“me too baby, just a little longer.” he gasped, looking into your eyes. you were both moaning and breathing heavy, chasing release. “come for me, darling. i need you to come.” he panted, gripping your hips tighter. you could feel his tip hitting that sweet spot inside you and you couldn’t last longer.

“yes, god, Harry!” you moaned, clenching around his dick. you almost collapsed from how good it felt, when he was moving still very fast through your orgasm. he eventually slowed down with loud moan.

“jesus, y/n, fuck, baby!” his cock twitching inside you, emptying himself into condom. he did last few, slow thrusts, stopping completely after that. your legs were still slightly shaking from intense finish. he placed soft kiss on your lips, caressing your flushed cheek. “i knew you’re amazing.”

[ilikecrowns]

Closet

Alessia Russo x f!reader

Reader has liked alessia for as long as she can remember, alas it has always been unrequited, as alessia appears to be straight. That is until one day the news spreads something that she wasn’t ready for.

based on this request here

1k words (sorry it’s so short, i might make a part two)

warnings- none yet again! (i’m good at this)

　　　　　　　･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

Watching Alessia in training everyday with the most adorable smile that's somehow always present on her face, completely and utterly destroyed me. There wasn't a hand I wanted more to hold, or hair I wanted more to softly stoke whilst laying besides her. Eventually, I decided it was best to get over her.

After all, she was straight, and would never ever want to be with me.

A sharp knocking on the door broke me from my pitiful state as I sat alone on my sofa, long past midnight, caressing a bowl of cookie dough ice cream. The only person I'd ever expect to turn up at my front door was the postman, and even then I probably see him far too often (my online shopping addiction is a matter to discuss on another occasion).

After shooting up from the sofa and practically spilling the whole semi-melted bowl of creamy heaven, I found myself standing at the door. Times like these make me realise a peephole is definitely worth it.

With no other way of knowing who on earth was banging on my front door at the devil's hour, the only thing for it was to open it up.

And there, looking in all her beautiful blonde glory was the one woman I swore to forget.

Alessia damn Russo.

"Hey...." she sheepishly smiled, clutching her arms in a feeble manner.

"Alessia," I stood there shocked, like a prey about to get pounced on. However, this predator was the most stunning, kind and adorable animal you'd ever see.

"I'm... i'm so sorry. I really hope i'm not interrupting you. It's just... I just," she started hyperventilating at this point, tears spilling down her cheeks faster than my hands could catch them.

"Less, it's okay, calm down, what's going on?"

"Someone... someone found me... found me kissing someone at a bar and and and-"

I raised my eyebrows, wondering where on earth this was going. I couldn't hide the sharp pain to my heart I felt as the words 'kissing someone at the bar' gave me, but right then I needed to be there for my friend.

"-and they took a pic and it's everywhere on the internet and now everyone knows, y/n/n, they all know!!"

I just looked at her completely bewildered.

"Everyone knows what, Less?" I never knew kissing someone at a club was the biggest deal in the world, but I guess some crazy fans certainly would find it to be the next focal point of their lives.

"Just... just look." she sobbed again, holding her phone out so I could see the picture she had up on it.

It was Alessia kissing a woman.

Rather awkwardly, I must admit. It looked like the poor thing didn't know her lips were attached to her face and that hands were absolutely not ever allowed anywhere near the person she was practically eating alive.

I raised my eyebrows, not sure whether to laugh at the hilarity of the awful kiss, or stay composed and empathetic for my 'former' crush.

"Honey...." I start, putting a hand onto Alessia's shoulder and offering her a warm smile, "Everything is going to be okay. Have you actually LOOKED at what people have said? You chose the right career to be gay in by the way, good job."

She gasped as soon as the word 'gay' left my mouth.

"Gay? I-i'm not..." she stopped, trying to find the best words as to not offend me, "I really really really just don't want everyone to know."

"What's the main reason behind that, Less?" I grabbed some tissues and dabbed at the tear stains around her eyes, followed by guiding her to my sofa.

"Because!" she exclaimed, getting up almost immediately after sitting down in an angry flourish.

I was almost astonished at the fact I'd completely glossed over the fact Alessia had kissed. a. girl.

"Lessi? if you wanted practice, you could have just asked me, by the way. That kiss looked painful..." I tried to make light of the situation, however soon after her meltdown it may have been.

She stopped her pacing, and turned to look at me.

A sharp blush instantly rose to her cheeks, followed straight after by a curious glint in her eye.

"You... you would do that for me?"

"I-"

"OH MY GOD Y/N I LOVE YOU!" her crying completely ceased, and she grabbed my face into her hands, planting a deep passionate kiss on my cheek.

All I could do was sigh to myself. If only she knew what she was doing to me.

The talented striker then gulped an entire glass of water in less than 10 seconds- which to me was hella impressive- and hastily applied about five layers of lipgloss to her lips.

"Alessia... I don't think this is a very good-" she shut me up with a messy, rushed and extremely, well, awful, kiss.

My eyes shot wide open, not in a million years had I expected my crush to kiss me and for me to feel extremely uncomfortable.

"God, Alessia, please tell me you didn't drink the entire bar," I face palmed, now finally realising how unbelievably drunk she must be to even consider doing something this bold.

"No no I just had a few, now sit still i'm not done!" She shut me up yet again with another bruising kiss, this time she tried sliding her tongue into my mouth which I absolutely was not having when she was so out of it. Plus, I was pretty afraid she'd eat me alive.

I gently pushed her off me, raising my hand to wave it in front of her still closed eyes and puckered lips face.

"Right, it's bed time! We will talk more about whatever the hell just happened in the morning, but for now, you need to rest. And for the love of god never get drunk again."

I wasn't sure how much I meant that last sentence, because no matter how painful that kiss was, I still got to experience what I’d dreamt of for years.

[seeingivy]

fine line

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content warning: mentions of SA, addiction, bad workplace environments, shitty adults - protect your peace my babies

an: one I saved sparks for the next chapter so I don't like give someone a heart attack. and brace yourself pookies. this ended up at 16k. also, lmk if the format is confusing. but any memory that's embedded between dialogue is basically being shown in the video - it just makes more sense for me to write it as a visual

songs mentioned: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift, and fine line by harry styles

previous part linked here

--

Tell me something, tell me something You don't know nothing, just pretend you do I need something, so tell me something new Choose your words 'cause there's no antidote For this curse Oh, what's it waiting for? Must this hurt you just before you go?

Eren lets the video play for a whole minute before he abruptly reaches for the remote from your hand and stops the film from playing. The song is burning in his ears - the clip of him blowing out the candles at his tenth birthday party searing his eyes - and the increasing, immense pressure that’s been building, ever since you came back to set, comes to a head in that second. 

So much so, that he has to stop the video. Like fully, take the remote from your hands and pause the video. And when he realizes what he’s done, looking over to his side and finding your wide eyes staring at him, and he swallows the lump of shame that’s in his throat and makes his best attempts to back track. 

He’s already messing this up. Royally. 

“Right. I’m sorry, Y/N. Here.” he murmurs, placing the remote back in the space between the two of you, as he nervously interlocks his own fingers within each other. 

Eren’s mind is in a hundred places right now. Granted, he’s always been one to be stuck where he shouldn’t be, but the regret is scorching deep through him now. 

Maybe he should just tell you straight out. Or take you to Seattle now so that you could all talk about it in person. Or he could have asked Connie to stay, just so that he had some type of moral support instead of your big doe eyes waiting for answers, but-

“Are you okay, Eren?” you ask. 

Eren looks over, mustering his best peachy smile, as he shakes his head. 

“No. I’m fine! I just…had a muscle spasm…. You can play it, it’s just-” 

You squint your eyes in response to his shitty defense, which Eren was expecting, because you were always acutely aware of how Eren was feeling. He was almost convinced that you could read his mind at times, that maybe some part of how he grew up left that part of him underdeveloped, that made him so soulless and unaware when it came to other people. 

Or that really, some part of you still understood him in the way you always seemed to be able to. In a way that no one else really had. Because few could bear close to you - Lana and Connie, even Sukuna to some extent - but there was just something about you specifically that saw him exactly how he was. 

That you always knew his intentions, that he almost never had to say them to you. He never had to explain that big mess that was going on in his head because you were always filling the gap and settling it down before he could even get it out. Like there was some secret language being spoken between the two of you every time you made eye contact. 

He’d figure that this part of the two of you - he had all but demolished it the second he opened his mouth back in Seattle. But it remains whole and intact and is extremely bad for that flaring hopeful feeling that he gets when he’s around you again. 

That the two of you could return back to what you were before, in some shape or form. 

Eren sighs. 

“I’m sorry. I just…got overwhelmed for a second. You can play the video. I-I promise I won’t pause it this time.” 

Your eyes soften - and Eren’s heart twinges - as he musters a smile for you. 

“Are you okay to be watching this with me? I can always watch it alone, Eren.” 

“Yeah, I-” 

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable…granted, I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’m watching, but if this…makes you anxious than I don’t want to force you to stomach it just for me.” 

Eren’s heart twinges. That you’re still the same as he left you, so loving that it’s flowing out of you. 

“It’s not just for you. Not that I’d be opposed to doing it but-” 

Eren swallows hard. 

“I should be here, Y/N.” he murmurs. 

“Okay. Well-” 

“And you’re watching a movie. A documentary feels like…the wrong word for it? But I guess that’s what it is?” Eren murmurs. 

“A documentary?” 

Eren swallows hard. 

“Do you remember that interview you did? When you became a triple threat?” Eren asks. 

You nod. 

“This is like if I did the interview. Like songs, album, the whole thing. And if other people were involved. And-” 

“Album? You made an album, Eren?” you ask, suddenly excited at the prospect of it. 

Eren was never one to push too hard into music, since he felt that his talents clearly resided in acting. The few times that he had written something was because certain things, mainly you, had left him so inspired and your little rambligns and notes had rubbed off on him. 

And when he missed you terribly, it seemed that the only thing that seemed to remedy it in some sense was writing songs about it. Granted, Lana almost kicked him out of her house for the sad piano he always seemed to be playing, which she claims wasn’t a good influence, but it made a good backtrack for the movie. 

“Yeah, well. You’re quite the inspiration.” Eren respond. 

You roll your eyes, lightly reaching over to shove his shoulder. Except he grabs your hand right before you can, his eyes fixed on his hand all but engulfing yours. 

“I’m being serious. You-you’re the only reason that I wanted to do this. That I was able to.” Eren whispers. 

You tilt your head to the side. 

“You’ve always been like this. So…adamant on the side of talking about things. About not holding it in. I remember when you did the whole “The Man” thing with Historia you literally had me scared shitless. That people were going to put your head on a stick and start coming for you.” 

“I remember. But they didn’t and-” 

“And then you did the same thing with Lana. About Ricky - and you don’t even know the half of it when it comes to that guy. You’ve proven it to me time and time again. That maybe…talking things out is the best way to do it. And granted, I’ve taken so long to get to that point but I-” 

“It’s okay. I just-” 

“It’s not okay. I want you to know that I don’t think what I did was right in any way. I literally made the wrong decision at every turn, and hurt you because of it, and I’m so sorry that I did because you have to know that you mean-” 

Eren freezes, as you wrestle your hand out of his, and place both of your hands firmly on his shoulders. 

“Eren. Just…stop panic explaining. Let me listen first.” you murmur. 

“I know. Sorry, you’re right, I just-” 

“Don’t apologize. I’m sure this is nerve wracking in ways that I can’t understand.” you respond. 

“You’ve always understood me.” Eren murmurs, immediately regretting it the second it leaves his mouth. 

Eren watches as you smile at him, soft and all the way up to your eyes, as you let go and reach for the remote. You give him a nod as you unpause the video again to a clip of Eren. 

At his tenth birthday, blowing out the candles, while he sings in the background. 

Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know Oh, tell me something I don't already know

--

The video starts the last place you expect it. With Zeke sitting in front of the camera, hand knotted together in the same way you’ve seen Eren’s a hundred times, as he retells the story of the day his grandmother passed away when Eren was eleven and Zeke was seventeen.  

After forty-five minutes, Eren has definitively decided that he hates hospital. The anti-septic smell seems to bite at his nose, the receptionist keeps eyeing them awkwardly over the top of her desk trying to pinpoint where it is that she knows him from, and his parents and Zeke are uncharacteristically silent. 

Eren reaches for Zeke’s wrist, which Zeke welcomes with a smile, as they both nervously eye their parents at their side. Eren’s not entirely sure why - since to his understanding, his grandmother is still alive for right now - but his mom has been crying for a better half of the past day, while his dad holds down the fort and does his best efforts to keep it together. Eren appreciates the small smiles that he spares for the two of them every now and then, as they all sit quietly in the waiting room. 

Zeke taps Eren on the shoulder, gesturing for him to follow him for a walk, which Eren is all but happy to oblige in, as the two of them quietly make their way down the ward. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Cookies. They have them out for New Year’s Day, Eren.” Zeke responds, looking down to give him a smile. 

Eren frowns, forgetting that the start of the new year was so close, as they walk into the little aisle. The room is decorated with hanging lights, left over from Christmas, as the two of them sit on the chairs and split the hard, crumbly cookies between the two of them. 

“Is grandma going to die or something?” Eren asks, swinging his legs off the tops of the tall chair as he leans back. 

“I don’t know, Eren. Maybe.” Zeke responds, swallowing hard.

“Oh.” 

“There’s no need to be sad about it before it happens. But Dad told me earlier, it would probably be today or tomorrow so…you should be aware of that.” Zeke states. 

Eren frowns. And Zeke recoils, at his rather blunt way of telling Eren the harsh news. 

“He didn’t tell me that.” Eren states. 

“Well, you’re younger, Eren.” Zeke responds. 

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t deserve to know.” 

Zeke brings his hand down on Eren’s hair, ruffling with it as he looks out the window. 

“That’s why I told you, kid.” 

Eren sighs. 

“Thanks.” 

Zeke shakes his head, as he gestures for Eren to join him at looking outside. The hospital workers are taking down the tree outside, as the two of them rest their windows against the sill and watch the snow fall down. 

 “Can we have hot chocolate when we go home?” Eren asks. 

“You’re old enough to make your own hot chocolate, Eren.” Zeke deadpans. 

“But you just make it so much better. Plus, don’t you want to be a good older brother?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile. 

“I am a good older brother.” 

“You know what would make you even better?” 

Zeke rolls his eyes. 

“Hot chocolate?” 

Eren fakes a gasp. 

“It’s like you’re reading my mind! That’s a great idea, Zeke.” Eren responds. 

Zeke shoves Eren as the two of them laugh, reaching for another one of the hardened cookies on the platter. And that’s when they’re met with the flash of the camera and three paparazzi standing right behind them. Zeke turns around, entirely confused, as they shove the microphone into his face. 

“Zeke. Are do you have any comments on the rumors that you’re a drug dealer?” 

“The rumors that I’m what?” Zeke asks. 

Eren looks up at Zeke, entirely floored by the question, as the bright lights shine in his face a few more times. Zeke’s standing in front of him, basically obscuring his line of vision, as he watches the confusion spread on Zeke’s face and the way his jaw is tightly held against his skull. 

“A drug dealer. Through the funds in your back accounts?” 

“That’s not what I used them for. I used them for-” 

Eren watches Zeke’s face pale, as he grabs Eren’s hand tightly by the wrist and runs back into the waiting room where their parents are sitting. Except when they reach that spot, the doctor they’d seen hours prior is standing there with them, uttering the last words that Zeke could possibly want to hear at this moment. 

“We’re so sorry for your loss but-” 

And he’s cut off abruptly, by the paparazzi, who continue to flash more pictures as the Eren takes in the words, his parents crying demeanor, and understands in full that his grandmother is gone. And looks up at Zeke, unable to recognize his older brother for the first time. So meek, so awkward unlike he’s ever seen him. 

The video cuts off of the pictures of the four of them - of their pink faces and teary eyes in that waiting room - and back to Zeke, as he continues to explain. 

“That was the first time that the rumor had come to the surface, reached me in full. I later found out that there had been multiple reports of it for three days prior, that people had been speculating for days and days, and chose to finally ask me what I had thought when I was in the most headline worthy position. A few feet away from my dead grandmother. And my beloved little brother.” Zeke adds. 

You feel Eren shift next you as the video switches, this time to Sukuna. You smile, not having seen him or heard of him in so long, sparing a good thought from the writhing in your chest at the previous story. The mere presence of him, of his voice, makes your chest rumble. 

“My name is Ryomen Sukuna. And I met Scott Clarkson for the first time when I was fifteen.” 

Sukuna tries his best to not be jealous of his brother. He’s always hated that sick, rotting feeling in his stomach, and he despises that it comes up so unexpectedly, something so negative towards someone who is so unwholly undeserving of it. 

Sukuna always thought it was quite ironic that the two of them were siblings. They were such polar opposites - Yuuji being the picture-perfect, kind, intelligent person that he was. Being those things, so good, it just came so naturally to him that he made it look effortless. 

Meanwhile, Sukuna wasn’t quite sure why he acted the way he did sometimes. Sukuna knew that he wasn’t a malicious or evil person, that deep down his intentions were always well meaning, but there was a small part of him that had always struggled with that part. He knew that he wasn’t a visicous dog, but he wasn’t sure why he bit. 

It was just so hard for Sukuna. Being kind. Effortlessly kind, compassionate, and warm. He’d always say too much, be too loud, or too rude or impolite that it made it made him feel like some part of him was defective. That unbeknownst to other people, who just assumed that Sukuna was just like this, that he was hateful at heart, there was always a withstanding weight of guilt that he held with him wherever he went.  

Until he saw an opening. At one of those god awful, stupid networking events that he was always forced to go to. 

“Are you Ryomen Sukuna?” 

He looks up to find an adult, mid-forties, looking down at him. He’s wearing a nice, pressed down suit as he joins Sukuna on the floor, where he’s been demolisihing the cookie he was given into a crumbled up, chocolate mess. 

“Yes. Who are you?” 

“My name is Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” 

Sukuna falls into silence, as he tries his best to awkwardly shuffle his mess to the side and be as professional as he could. 

“You have a brother, correct?” Scott asks. 

Sukuna sighs, knowing all too well what’s coming next. 

“Yes, that’s right. He’s over there, standing with the tall, black-haired kid. Kinda sea urchin-y if you ask me.” Sukuna responds, pointing over to the two of them standing by the lemonade. 

Scott shrugs, crossing his hands together in his lap. 

“Tell me about his work ethic.” Scott asks. 

“Well, he’s great. He’s basically the best person to be around - I mean he’s intelligent, smart, and talented. There’s a reason that he’s in almost every movie that you see. And on top of that, he’s extremely patient and kind too. You’d be lucky to work with him, if that’s what you’re considering.” 

Scott looks over at him, eyes narrowed. 

“That’s your mistake, kid.” Scott states, the look in his eyes cold. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You should be marketing yourself. Not your brother.” Scott asks. 

Sukuna turns his head to the side, confused. 

“What? But you asked?” 

“That’s the thing. Even if someone asks about him, you should always divert the attention. To yourself. Granted, this is the reason that he’s the one who just starred in a movie while you’re waiting during the Jujutsu Kaisen hiatus.” 

Sukuna frowns, an acidic feeling crawling down the length of his throat. 

“Well-” 

“I’m just saying, kid. You should learn to advocate for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with pushing a few people around, because that’s kind of what this industry requires. You’ve got guts and talent, more than you’re wish washy brother I’m sure of it. I mean, the whole good boy bad boy thing has worked well for you so far, but if you want any chops at a real career, with people like I’ve worked with, you’ll have to solidify on these types of things.” Scott states. 

Sukuna looks straight across at the movie poster splayed on the wall. With “Institute Award Winning” and “Scott Clarkson” inscribed in it at the bottom. 

“Granted, you’re just a kid. You need someone to give you this kind of advice, an adult who knows their way around the industry. If you ever need my help, you know who to call. I could give you any type of role. Even one as the lead, as the hero, if you ever wanted it.” Scott states, sliding a silver business card into his hands and shuffling off the floor to walk away. 

The video cuts back to Sukuna, cracking his fingers as he talks - something you know well is a nervous tick of his. 

“The conversation seems quite ironic in hindsight. Scott Clarkson was the first adult in my life, one of many, that didn’t have my best interests at mind. And is most surely the last person you should take advice from.” Sukuna states. 

The video switches to Lana - and your heart clenches again, maybe even more than it did for Sukuna - at her long, brown hair and warm, pink cheeks smiling into the camera. You notice that she has a tattoo inscribed on her forearm now, a tiny little teddy bear just above the crease of her elbow, where you and Eren have your fish tattoos. 

“I’ve dreamt about being in love since I was a little kid. There was a part of me, that yearned so hard, wanted it so bad, that I would do anything for it. Even convince myself it was real.” 

Lana was convinced, for a fact, that because she had seen the worst of the worst, that she could only be subjected to the best of the best. 

That she had been so acutely aware, known from such a young age, all the signs of a terrible marriage, a loveless relationship. That you should always thank each other for the small actions, make time to see each other at least once a day, and that a true, earnest relationship takes honest work. Real effort. 

And she wasn’t exactly religious per say. But after the night had settled down, the screaming behind her door ceasing in full, she’d lift her head to the sky and whisper it into the air. Because if she put it out there, every night, and wanted it really badly, that it would happen. That manifestation or some higher power or some law of attraction - that saw that she had been through the bad so she deserved the good - would hear her out. 

And when she was nineteen years old staring at the two little lines on the pregnancy stick, she realized that no such thing existed. That manifestation was made up, that the higher powers didn’t exist or they hated her, or that maybe she had done something really horrible, so malicious, that she had to be tortured in this life for what she had done in the previous. 

Because, of course, she’s pregnant with the last person she’d ever want her kid to have as a father. 

There’s an incessant pounding on the door, as she wipes the tears off of her face, and hides the stick in the bowl of the toilet. 

“What the fuck is taking you so long, Lana?” 

“Nothing, Ricky. I think I might have a stomach bug or something.” she responds, swinging the door open to his unamused face. 

He looks up at her, almost sneering, before glancing at her up and down. He returns to aimlessly scrolling on his phone, before talking again. 

“Well, you’re still well enough to go out tonight, right? Because I don’t want to go to the bar alone.” 

Lana swallows hard, debating her options. 

“Um, well-” 

“Because I could easily take someone else.” Ricky states. 

“No! I’ll come, it’s just that-” 

“Perfect! You’re the best.” Ricky states, pressing a kiss to her cheek before padding out of the room. 

The video switches again, this time to Connie, slightly blurry through the tears in your eyes. You only realize you were crying because Eren’s hands are quick to swipe the tears away and hold a tissue out for you at your side.. You’re not sure what caused it exactly - the thought of Ricky or of Lana so scared alone in that bathroom by herself - but Eren keeps his hand on your shoulder, grounding you into the moment to focus on what Connie was saying. 

“When I was a kid, my mom used to kind of parrot the same stories about me as a kid to every person that she knew. I always used to make fun of her for it, claim that she harped on those four or five stories so hard because she couldn’t remember anything else substantial from my childhood, which was why she felt the need to always tell those embarrassing stories about me.” 

Connie breaks a smile, it reaching all the way to the crinkles in his eyes, as he continues. 

“But there’s one story that she told, that always used to make me a little bit happy. My heart a little warm, if you will. My mom always proudly recounted, with her hand placed over her heart, that I was the happiest baby. That my doctor had mentioned to her that it was very rare for him to see babies who smiled, so quick in their first day of life, but I had done it when he walked into the room. And since then, my mom has always lovingly called me her smiley boy.” Connie states. 

Connie drops his smile, before swallowing hard. 

“Which is how I know that I wholeheartedly broke her heart when she came to see me in rehab.” 

At the one month mark of being there, Connie was slowly but surely acclimating to the life in the rehab ward. The set routine of the place, the small activities that they did in groups, were quickly starting to grow on Connie and the physical effects of his body fighting against him lessening more every day. 

Today was a big achievement for him. He had finally made it through his first night of soundless sleep. And he was looking forward to today, which was Friday, meaning that Eren and possibly Lana would be visiting him. And they’d be so excited, so happy that it was working for him, that he wanted to tell him the second that he got there. 

So when the clock hit two o’clock, he excitedly walked in the visiting room to find Eren sitting there, with his steaming bowl of ramen that Eren had promised he would bring him next time. Connie finally understood why you fell in love with him all of those years ago. He’d marry Eren too if it meant he would cook for him all the time. 

“Hey Connie.” Eren states, sliding the bowl over to him. 

“Eren Bear-en. Where’s Lana?” he asks. 

“Right. She’s here. In the waiting room.” Eren states. 

“What the hell is she doing out there? Laying eggs?” Connie asks, splitting the chopsticks in his hand as he opens up the bowl. 

“Yes, actually. The kitchen came by and told her they were short.” 

“Don’t even joke about that because those bitches are crazy. I asked for an extra Jello and from the looks they gave me you’d think I was asking to be their…sperm donor or something.” 

Eren snickers, before getting an intense look from the guards on the wall for disrupting the silence, and looking back at Connie. 

“No. No, she’s actually keeping your mom some company.” 

Connie pales. 

“My mom is here?” he states, his voice grating in his throat. 

“Yeah, Connie. She doesn’t want to push and-and- she’s more than willing to go home if you’re not ready to see her yet, man. She just really insisted and she means so well that we just brought her along.” Eren states. 

“Have you been talking to her?” Connie asks. 

“Oh, yeah. She called us almost two days after you got here. We let her know what was happening and she comes by the house a lot. She asks about you the second we get back.” Eren responds. 

“Really?” Connie asks, warm tears filling his eyes. Of agonizing, burning regret. 

“Really. She’s been waiting till you seemed better, that you were ready to see her. And you don’t have to worry that she’s judging you or upset with you, man. She feels the same as Lana and I do, you- she shouldn’t be a reason for your stress. Or guilt.” Eren adds, emphasizing it as hard as he can so as to convince Connie to at least let her through. 

Connie pauses, the thoughts swimming to his mind. The overwhelming regret, that his mom has suffered all the way to meet him here, that she was ready to be at his side, the same way Eren and Lana had. He’s almost grateful that she hadn’t seen him at the worst of it - that he hadn’t shouted choice words at her like he had at Eren and Lana and you - but the embarrassment of having to recount all of that to her was daunting. 

But the thought of seeing her again, hearing that she was out there waiting with that heathen Lana, warmed that deep seated love for her in his stomach. That was yearning to see her, to tell her what had happened to him too. 

The latter feeling beat out the former one. Which is why he let Eren bring her in with Lana, as she took a cautious seat at his side and Lana slid into the one next to Eren. 

“Hi Connie Bear!” Lana states, reaching over to squeeze his hands. 

“Hi Lana Bear.” he respond, lifting his hand to do his little hand shake with Lana, which always earns him an eye roll from Eren. 

“Bear?” Connie’s mom asks, tilting her head to the side. 

“Ah. It’s just a little joke that we have. Eren Bear-en started it.” Connie states, giving him mom a smirk.

His mom smiles, looping her arm through Connie’s, as she lightly laughs into the quiet air. 

“Funny. So what would I be?” 

“Mama Bear. Obviously.” Connie states. 

She pauses, pressing her hand to Connie’s shoulder. 

“How are you, Connie? Really?” 

Connie smiles, leaning forward on the table and nervously fidgeting with his fingers. 

“I have some good news actually. For all of you.” Connie responds. 

“What’s that?” Eren asks. 

“I know that it doesn’t seem like a big deal and all and that people do it all the time but…today was the first night that I slept all the way through without waking up in the past month. In the past year actually.” 

Lana and Eren’s eyes immediately light up, which has Connie smiling, as the two of them run over to the side of his table and wrap his arms around him. His mom’s looped into his side, the three of them crushing him in the warmest, softest hug known to man.

“Connie! We’re- fuck. I’m literally crying. I’m so happy for you, kid.” Lana states, reaching forward to pinch the softness on his cheek. 

“Okay, you sap. It’s not all that.” Connie responds.

“No but it literally is, Connie. This is huge.” Eren responds, squeezing his shoulder hard. 

Connie turns to his mom noticing that she’s been trying her best efforts to quiet her sobs. Connie places a hand on her shoulder, burning with regret, at her downtrodden face. 

“Mom?” 

“Oh, Connie. My sweet, smiley boy. I’m so happy for you.” 

It’s enough to break his resolve, one that he’s been keeping together since he realized that he had all but gone through Jean and Mikasa’s engagement high. And cries straight into her arms, with Lana and Eren across from him, lightly tapping his feet under the table in support. 

The video switches, this time to Eren, as you prepare yourself for whatever you’re about to hear next. Because if the previous four were gut punches, you know for a fact that whatever Eren is about to say is going to ruin you. 

“Being in love is a privilege.” 

You take a sharp inhale. 

“There’s something so strange about it, when you think about it. That there can be two people, who share those feelings at the same time. That they overcame something, deeper than rejection or fear, because the feelings were so big, they were so great, that they just had to. And that the person, they really and truly reciprocated it.” 

Eren smiles, so wide that his dimples are showing. 

“It’s a privilege to be in love. But it’s an even bigger one to be in love, to be loved, by someone like Y/N L/N.” 

Eren and Jean, with their ears all but pressed to the door, hear the three knocks and wrestle over each other to open the door. You’re standing there, sheepish and meek as you look down the hall, and Eren reaches for your bag on the floor. Jean gives the two of you a salute, which you laugh at, and which consequently has Eren smacking his hand over your mouth for, as the two of you quickly switch spots. 

WIth Jean in your room and you in his. Eren quickly shuts the door, setting your stuff down, as you two give each other excited smiles. 

“That was super sneaky, Eren. Like Bond level.” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“Right. The two feet in between our doors was so treacherous.” 

You smack his shoulder. 

“Okay, bitch. You know nothing of my perilous travels. The floorboard creaked. I could hear Levi rustling in his sheets, I swear to god.” 

Eren drags your stuff into the room, as he places your bag on the bed. 

“What do you have in here? Your entire closet? Why is this so heavy?” 

“Well, I had to bring my night time skincare. And my morning skincare. And sometimes I get snacky at night…and my blanket obviously. And my shampoos. Those are non-negoitable.” you respond. 

“Well we can’t have you getting split ends now!” Eren responds, sarcastically. 

“Don’t even sass me right now because I could go bald without that shampoo.” 

“And I have a blanket.” 

You scoff.

“I don’t want your cooties, stinky.” 

“I don’t have cooties. And mind you, you have to kiss me in a few weeks. My cooties are going to be all up in your face, Y/N.” Eren responds. 

“That sounds gross, Eren. Like you’re purposely infecting me with your disease.” 

“I’m not infecting you with anything! I don’t even have cooties, you idiot!” 

You feign hurt, frowning at him, as you fight the urge to laugh and muster the most important performance of your life yet. 

“Eren?” you whisper. 

“What?” he asks, confused. 

“Do you really think I’m an idiot?” you murmur. 

You watch Eren’s eyes go wide, almost frazzled, as he reaches forward and cups the side of your cheek, the look in his eyes so painful that you immediately feel bad. 

“Y/N. Of course, I don’t think you’re an idiot. You’re like…the smartest person I know. Really.” 

“Eren-” 

“I’m so sorry I said that. I was just kidding, but that was a really stupid joke to make. I haven’t and won’t ever think that about you. Or say it again. You’re so-” 

“Eren.” 

“And I swear, I’m not going to say anything like that ever again. I know how shitty it can be, especially coming from a guy, and you’re working so hard to be here, more than anyone else, even though your basically the best one and-” 

“Eren, oh my gosh, you’re so sweet. I was just kidding, I didn’t mean to make you so upset.” you respond, frowning at him as he looks at you, shoulders relaxing under his touch. 

His cheeks are dusted a warm pink, the color trickling down the length of his neck. 

“Oh. Wait, really?” 

“I was just trying to see what you would say. I wasn’t expecting that and now I feel really, really bad. I’m sorry, Eren.” 

Eren sighs, laughing as he reaches forward to pinch your cheek. 

“You’re evil, you know that?” 

“I didn’t mean it!” you whine, covering your eyes in embarrassment. 

“You put that stupid little cute frown on your face and make those sad eyes at me and just expect me to keep fighting with you?” 

“Well, yeah! Jean and Connie would fight with me for the rest of their life if they could.” 

Eren reaches forward, pinching your cheek once more. 

“That’s your mistake.” 

“What is?” 

“Thinking that you and I are the same as you and Connie. Or you and Jean.” 

You feel your cheeks burn, as you nod, reaching for your bag and heading straight into the bathroom to arrange everything on the counter. You start your nightly routine, braiding your hair and placing the little foam headband in your hair as you start to massage all the cleansers and serums into your skin. 

Eren pads in after a few minutes, reaching for his toothbrush, as the two of you move around each other in silence. Eren can’t help but watch you in the mirror - with all your little bottles and sweet smelling lotions, so focused as you go about it - that he can’t help but think that he could watch you forever. 

“Eren?” 

Eren immediately breaks out of his almost trance, spitting into the sink. 

“Yeah?” 

“You should wear this while you brush your teeth. It’ll keep your hair out of the way.” you respond, handing him a little blue foam headband just like your pink one. 

“Huh?” 

“Well, your hairs getting kind of long. And Levi told me that he actually wants it even longer for next season a few months ago, so I ordered you one too when I got mine. I keep forgetting to give it to you.” you respond, placing it front of him. 

Eren lifts it in his hands, utterly touched at the fact that you had thought of him. 

“You- you got this for me?” 

“Well, yeah. I kept getting my bangs wet whenever I washed my face. And you basically look like a shaggy dog with that hair so I knew for a fact that you’d need one too. I’m basically the best friend ever if you think about it.” you respond, giving him a peachy smiile. 

“You are.” 

The video cuts back to Eren, a soft smile on his face as he talks. 

“People will take advantage of anything, in the name of business. It’s an easy way in once you find out how to manipulate someone, to make them do things that they would never do normally, to get the exact image that you want. The one that makes headlines, stirs up controversy, to get you trending.” 

--

“You find out that things function very specifically when you work at Stone Studios. And that Scott Clarkson, and his associates, make money from every aspect of the production. He makes money from the movies that he produces and more importantly, from the tabloid company that he owns.” Sukuna starts. 

Sukuna sighs, as the pictures flash on the screen. 

“Certain things are…manufactured or at least the people doing them are coerced into doing things that are lucrative. Like doctoring drama around certain movies, so that by the time the movie comes out, the drama surrounding it will drive everyone to watch it. Around relationships - because rumors regarding ex-boyfriends and problems between friends create headlines that everyone will click.” 

Sukuna’s furious. And when Hyla walks in the room - the three weeks he’s been holding onto his anger - come to a head. 

“Who did you tell?” Sukuna asks. 

She looks up at him, eyes wide in confusion, as she slouches straight into the bed and continues to scroll on her phone. He joins at her side, reaching for her phone and putting it to the side. 

“I’m being serious. Who did you tell?” he asks. 

She looks up at him, her expression bordering between bored and oblivious. 

“Who did I tell about what?” 

Sukuna sighs. Because deep down, that deep rot of feeling betrayed has been gnawing at his stomach for the past few hours. And he wants everything in him, every part of him to believe that the conversation that he had a few days ago - the first real one he’d had in a while - wasn’t just spread all over every magazine he walked past on the way home. 

“The conversation we had. About…” 

She rolls her eyes, sitting up as she crossed her legs. 

“About what? We talk about a lot of things.” she murmurs. 

“Yuuji…” he responds. 

“Oh! About how you hate him?” she asks. 

Sukuan sighs, frustrationg growing up at the premise. At the callousness in her statement. Because not only did she put up a front in the conversation they had - about how guilty Sukuna felt about harboring some negative feelings towards Yuuji since they were always in constant competition - but she was surely the one who must have whispered the story to someone who had given it to a tabloid. 

“I don’t hate him, Hyla.” 

“No, no I get it. You’re like jealous of him and stuff because he gets all these versatile roles and you basically keep getting the same asshole role. But that’s not your fault, it’s just how it goes.” she responds, shrugging. 

He clenches his jaw. 

“I get that. I just don’t get why you had to tell someone else.” 

“Well, I just told my dad. And you know how he is. If there’s something that’s going to be good for the business, he’s always been the kind of guy to go for it and do what needs to be done.” 

“What the hell is so lucrative about my relationship with my brother? We’re filming a fucking movie.” 

She sighs, cracking her knucles before she turns to him. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you a secret, but only if you promise to stop being mad at me.” 

“Well, I’m not just going to stop being mad at you. I’ve never told anyone that. Let alone my own brother, whose probably finding out about it from a fucking tabloid right now. I’ve never been one - nor am I ever going to be - someone who steps on their own family members to make it in this fucking business.” he states. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Family is everything to you and I get that.” 

He sighs, sliding open his phone to the five unread messages from Yuuji on his screen. There a set of pictures of him in front of the headlines at the store and he’s quite literally laughing at the fact that someone could even come up with something so stupid about him. 

Because despite it all, Yuuji is exactly what Sukuna says he is. He is the better brother - by tenfold - because he sees the rumors and doesn’t even believe them the second he reads them. Even through they’re true. 

“See. He’s such a good guy, he’s not even mad! No harm done!” Hyla states, smiling to herself. 

Sukuna leans back against the headboard, fully bothered, so much so that it makes his skin itch, by Yuuji’s texts as he halfheartedly murmurs. 

“What were you going to say? Earlier?” 

“Oh. Well don’t tell anyone. Especially not the girls okay, because they’d basically kill me. But you know WBS? The tabloid company?” she asks. 

“Yeah…” 

“My dad owns it. That was actually his original venture. He started it with these two music producers - Danny and Sareen - they work with that Y/N girl from Attack on Titan actually. And sometimes they just kind of….fabricate stuff for news. Whatever sells right?” 

Sukuna swallows that bitter, acidic feeling in his throat. That his feelings about his brother, that he shared in confidence, were good enough for the headline. 

Good enough to be sold out. 

The camera switches back to Sukuna, sitting in the chair. 

“I feel kind of stupid in hindsight. For actually liking her, I guess. For believing that any of them were real, earnest people. I’m embarrassed that I stayed for so long, on the premise that I was fighting for something real.” Sukuan states. 

“What made you leave?” the producer asks. 

“The last shred of self-preservationist instinct I had. I was put into a situation, multiple times, where I felt unsafe. And when it went too far, I decided that I had enough. And that I was going to go out with a bang if I had to. If they want a headline, I’ll damn well give them one.” Sukuna states, smirking. 

“You felt unsafe?” the producer clarifies. 

“Look. I don’t need to rehash the details out of what happened. I’m sure that you could even find videos of it if you wanted to. But Scott Clarkson, he’s very quick to forget the fact that he’s working with children. I may play adults in my films, but I was very much still a child.” 

You pale, the implication entirely clear. You look over at Eren, whose eyes are fixed towards the floor, as you wipe the tears from your eyes, as the video switches back to Eren and Lana who are seated at the table. 

“When Levi and Hange ventured out on their own and decided to produce their own show, they ruffled lots of feathers. That’s something I overheard on set quite often before Eren ever started on the show. They were mad, essentially, that they had circumvented the whole producing aspect of it, choosing to be in control of every aspect of the production. And honestly, that they were successful with it.” 

“Levi and Hange basically set a standard, especially for other people who were at their class the SWHA cohort. Jujutsu Kaisen basically followed suit short after - with almost all of the people in our class being funneled into either of those two shows. Which was aggravating, because it basically means that people who own the companies, like Scott Clarkson, don’t get their upcoming crop of stars to handpick form.” Eren states. 

“Unfortunately for us, that didn’t really quite stop them. It started out with a simple fact - that Scott Clarkson knew for a fact that Eren would refuse to work with him.” Lana states. 

“The first time I met Scott Clarkson he had rubbed me the wrong way. Because he refused to acknowledge that Y/N was standing right at my side.” Eren responds. 

Eren was painfully aware of the fact of how uncomfortable you were. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was - maybe the fact that you had never been here before or that you didn’t quite know anyone like he did from growing up with them - but he figured that it would be a better idea for the two of you to go outside. 

But before he could, a man stops him, tapping him on the shoulder to talk to him. You both stop in your tracks, half turning around, to look at him. He’s extremely tall, looming over the two of you, and Eren can feel you shrink at his side. He looks at Eren, a self-assured smile pressed on his face as he introduces himself. 

“Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios.” 

“I’m Eren Jaeger. This is-” 

“I know who you are, Eren. I was invited to see one of the first cuts of the latest movie you just filmed and-” 

Before he can even understand what’s happening, he has his hand on Eren’s shoulder and they’re walking down the length of the hall, the end of their conversation lost to you. Eren looks back and you give him a halfhearted smile as he tries to turn back, before getting stuck in a larger group of people. 

“Do you have any projects lined up for your Attack on Titan hiatus?” Scott asks. 

“Yeah. Sukuna and I are filming the next Conjuring movie. Though if you’re looking for someone, my friend Y/N-” 

“No need. We’re here to talk about you.” 

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“I already have a roll. And she doesn’t. And you know how big she’s going to be - she can even sing!” Eren states. 

Scott sighs. 

“There’s a reason that I’m standing here talking to you. I’m well seasoned in these type of things - just like your parents. I promise you, with a breakout show like that, only one person can come out as the star. Don’t you want to make sure that it’s going to be you?” 

“Levi and Hange made it out together. I don’t know why we couldn’t do the same.” Eren responds. 

Luckily enough for him, his parents had arrived just at that moment and given him his much needed chance to run away. 

“I wasn’t going to sell out that fast. Especially for someone who was so quick to bad mouth my best friend, who was basically the only person that I got to consistently talk to and be with at the time, I….” 

“Eren’s very loyal. Let’s just leave it at that. And it’s precisely just because of that loyalty, especially to Hange and Levi who had thrown a wrench in every one of his profits, that they wanted Eren specifically. He has every makings of one of his stars. He has famous parents, an estranged brother, and a girl that can be thrown at the end of every headline.” Lana adds. 

Eren sighs. 

“The Attack on Titan hiatus was the perfect chance for them to get what they wanted. On one side, Danny and Sareen were building Y/N up. They were pushing her into making albums, way faster than she should have been by the way, adding more and more accolades to her name. And on the other side, they were dragging me into the mud. Purposely switching my movies at the last minute to make sure I was on the shitty one, making award show annoucers make crappy jokes about me so I’d feel like shit.” Eren responds. 

The video switches to the last award show that you and Eren had technically attended together. The one where you announced that you were coming out with your second studio album and where you had won Actress in a Lead Role. Except, the video isn’t how you remembered it. Or that this time, you’re actually aware of what had been going on in Eren’s head. 

“Here we have an international pop-star, Y/N L/N. Originally a small town girl from Canada, her soft spoken love songs, phenomenal acting, and insane dance act have left no heart untouched.” the announcer states. 

Eren looks over at you in the video, his eyes so warm and his smile so wide, as he looks at you proudly. 

“And you. What’s your name again? It’s sweet they let fans sit with stars now.” the headliner asks him, eliciting a large amount of laughter from the crowd as he walks on. 

That’s when you see it. That Eren’s face immediately dropped and was washed over in shame. And that he got up and walked away. 

And more importantly, that you hadn’t followed. 

“I later found out that joke was very deliberate. That announcer was told to make that joke about me because they were almost positive that I would leave. And when Y/N won the award - and I was moping in one of the lounges about how much of a failure I was, how she was going to leave me for someone better - Scott Clarkson approached me. In the same way that he had approached Sukuna. Promising me that he could make me a star. That I could meet Y/N where she was and be next to her too.” Eren states. 

“It was pretty easy to guess how the rest went. Y/N and Eren being in a relationship wasn’t exactly headline worthy, when they had been basically attached at the hip for years. But you know what was? The two of them breaking up.” 

“I obviously can’t speak for Y/N. I don’t know what was going through her head at that point. But from what she made it seem like….Danny and Sareen had asked her to do it. I know that they had asked her to write songs like London Boy and most of the songs on her album for that precise reason, it….doesn’t seem far off.” Eren states. 

“It seems stupid in hindsight. To take someone’s advice at the surface level like that and so blindly believe in them. But when you think of the examples that Eren and Y/N really had, people like Levi and Hange who wanted nothing but the best for them, who basically loved them like they were a second set of parents, it’s hard to believe that everyone around you doesn’t really have your best interest in mind. That and the fact that they were fucking nineteen.” Lana adds. 

“And that’s when we get to the Girlfriend incident. And more importantly, the day that Lana and I became friends.” Eren states, looking over to smile at her. 

Eren had locked the door, and pushed everyone out of the room the second they had stopped watching that stupid music video hours ago. And after the fact, he’s watched it three more times - you and Ricky dancing through the street and smiling at each other - while all he can do is drown in his despair. 

That is until he hears a soft sniffling in the hallway behind him and a hushed voice talking on the phone in the doorway. He presses his ear the door, the voice loud, as he catches the ends of the conversation, recognizing that it was Lana. 

“Can you just stay with him for a few more hours, please? I don’t think that I can leave.” 

“Please. I want to come home really badly too, but they’re already so upset with me after what I said last night that I just-” 

“Thank you so much. I really love you, you know that?” 

The phone call ends abruptly and Eren, letting his curiosity get the best of them, opens the door to find Lana sitting flat against the wall, with her head in her hands. He can tell that she must have been crying for a better part of the last hour, her hair all unruly and tangled in a way that he had never really seen it before. 

Eren shuffles into the spot next to her, against the wall, as he wipes his own red eyes. 

“Are you okay?” Eren asks. 

“Why? Trying to rub it in my face?” Lana asks, rather miserably. 

“No. I just…heard you on the phone.” Eren asks. 

Her eyes go wide, as she looks over at him rather frantically. 

“What did you hear?” she asks. 

“I mean, basically nothing.” Eren murmurs. 

The two of them sit there awkwardly, unsure of what to say to the other. That’s until Lana turns to him, a determined look on her face as she talks. 

“Are you trying to make me feel shitty because I did it to you?” Lana asks. 

“No. I’m not you, Lana.” Eren deadpans. 

“I didn’t mean-

“Didn’t mean what? To make me look like a dumbass on stage? Just tell me what the hell is wrong if you’re going to talk so loudly outside of my door.” Eren mutters, irritated. 

“Okay. We’re going to play a game, alright? Let’s pretend we’re different people.” Lana states. 

“What?” 

“I want to talk about something and I’m sure you do too, but it’s weird to do it like this. So we’ll pretend. I’m going to be La-La and you’re going to be Po.” she states. 

“Like the Telletubbies….?” 

“Yeah. Does that work? You can’t say anything to anyone, because….well that would just be fucking rude.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, Po. The thing is, I feel really bad. I did this really shitty thing to this guy who seems really nice and all. Except, I was standing on stage and they kind of asked me to do it right then and there so I kind of just went with it.” 

Oh. Eren gets it. This is her weird way of apologizing. 

“Well, why did she do it in the first place?” 

She scoffs. 

“You’re so nosy, bitch.” 

Eren laughs, which has her relaxing her shoulders, before she talks again. 

“Eren. Please don’t tell anyone, okay? This is really serious.” 

Eren breaks, the seriousness in her demeanour stoppign him. 

“I promise. What is it?” 

She sighs, holding out a picture to him on her phone. It’s a picture of her and a little boy, with short, curly brown hair. 

“This is my son. His name is Theodore, but…I call him Teddy. Like…Teddy Bear? And I feel so shitty, Eren but…they kind of hold him against me sometimes when it comes to things like this. So when they ask me to do things, I just do them.” Lana states. 

“They hold you against him?” 

“I mean….I try really hard to protect his privacy, Eren. He’s just a kid. I mean, he’s barely even two years old right now. And I know your parents, I’m sure you know that growing up in the spotlight isn’t the best place to be.” 

Eren frowns, looking down at the picture. He’s never really quite thought it before, but he thinks that Lana is really pretty. Or more appropriately, that Lana looks very pretty when she smiles. And that he’s never seen her smile like this before. 

“I get that. So what do they do? Threaten to tell?” Eren asks. 

“I mean, they usually find out where I’m keeping him. I tend to keep him moving from different houses, with security in all that, to make sure that he’s safe from that type of thing. And-” 

“Does he stay with his dad?” Eren asks. 

Lana sighs, resting her chin against her knees. 

“Eren. Ricky isn’t good news. And your little girlfriend or friend or whatever…she’s in really risky territory right now.” she states. 

“What do you mean?” Eren asks. 

She almost flinches, withholding of what it is exactly that’s on the tip of her tongue. 

“Eren. He’s just not a good guy. You should make sure that someone is with her, that she’s not ever alone with him. Just take my word for it. There’s a reason my son doesn’t get to see him, why I avoid him like the plague.” she states. 

Eren can see the tears filling in her eyes - and makes a mental note to drop the topic and relay the information to Connie or Jean later. 

“I’m not going to tell anyone, Lana.” 

“I know. That’s why I feel even worse. I’m really sorry for what I did, Eren.” 

“That’s okay. Let’s just make a deal.” 

“What’s that?” 

“I’ll help and you’ll help me. Pacts between Tellytubbies are really sacred.” Eren states, feigning seriousness. 

“You’re stupid.” 

“And you’re annoying.” he responds. 

Lana laughs, teary eyed, as she reaches forward and shakes on it. 

“I only became really aware of the problem after Lana had pointed it out to me. And became even more frustrated with them, with all of them, when I had realized what they had been saying to her. Making comments about her body to her, despite the fact that she had literally given birth, and incessantly teasing her about her son, who is basically my favorite person in the world, by the way. That they would purposely put alcohol in her drinks, when she couldn’t drink at the time.” 

The clips cut, this time to Eren and Lana, in a different mix of videos of playing with Teddy. You recongize him straight on, as the kid that you had met with Eren before the two of you had talked on the beach, and feel your heart burn at the fact that you had met Lana’s son and not known it. That Lana and Eren had to fight to make sure that he was safe, that she was doing anything for him. 

“Eren and I basically had an arrangement. We both had houses off of set in Seattle, that we should shuffle him between, along with my brother Landon. There was someone with Teddy at all times, and at that age, he wasn’t really old enough to question the fact. His mom was always there to put him to bed at night, and sometimes his best friend Eren was there to do it too, so it didn’t mean too much to him.” 

Eren sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“It all started going downhill the week that I got hurt. Because, of course, that’s when Connie arrived on set.” 

Lana wasn’t really paying attention when it had happened. Her nose was stuck in her own script, headphones over her ears, as she practiced the next scene she was going to be in. 

When she looked up, three minutes after the fact, that’s when she saw it. That Eren was tangled with the cords that were suspending him in the air and that he was hanging unconscious upside down. 

“What the hell are you doing? Take him down from there.” Lana states, incessantly shaking at Scott’s shoulder as he watched Eren in the viewfinder. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Price?” 

“He’s not fucking breathing. What the hell are you talking about?” 

“He’s acting. Did you not read your script before you got here?” he asks, annoyed as he gestures for the crew around him to continue. 

Lana looks up, every gut feeling of hers screaming in her stomach, as she runs on to the set, climbing on to the makeshift ladder and reaching for Eren stuck between the strings. 

“Eren. Eren, wake up.” 

Except he doesn’t budge in his arms, instead swinging back and forth from the way he’s precariously hanging on the strings. She presses her fingers to his neck, his pulse slightly weak under her fingers, as she can feel the tears burning in her eyes. 

“What the hell is wrong with you guys? Why can’t you just give him a break? He’s been going at it for like four hours.” 

“Price. You’re ruining the shot.” Scott states, rather irritated. 

“Take him down. Now.” 

Scott rolls his eyes, walking over to the switchbox at his side. He reaches for the lever, placing his hand on the stick, as he all but glares at Lana. 

“You want it that bad? Here.” 

And he pushes the lever all the way down, sending Eren straight to the ground on his head. Lana can feel the panic rushing through her as she basically tumbles down, turning Eren’s head over in her hands, and being met with red, warm blood on her hands. She gives a weary eye to the crew, who phone the ambulance, as she follows in her own car. 

“I think that was the first time that I realize that really, truly - these people don’t care about anything but getting the shot. I get that Eren was supposed to look like he was dead in that scene, but tiring him out to get the perfect shot was far from what he needed to do.” 

“I sustained a concussion that left me in the hospital for a week. And I had three long lacerations down the length of my back from the harnesses that we were using, that basically sliced it on impact. That I still have scars from by the way.” Eren states. 

You reach for Eren’s hand, squeezing hard on his wrist, as the video continues. 

“When we finally made it back to set, Connie was there. And it’s not that I don’t love Connie, that I wouldn’t have loved to see him there, but I already knew that it wasn’t going to go well.” Eren states. 

Eren sighs. 

“I know, logically, that you can’t really blame these things on people. That Connie wasn’t my responsibility and that addiction is a real, physical disease that he had to battle against. But I just can’t help but feel like I could have stopped him if I was there.” Eren states. 

“When I got to set, everyone around me hyped me up over the same basic thing. That Eren was out of commission, for reasons that they wouldn’t exactly tell me, and that I should take his spot as the lead. It was only a few days into shooting and that it would be an easy switch if I had just asked Scott if I could take his role.” Connie states. 

Connie sighs. 

“It was a simple thing that they were telling me. That Eren - he had gotten to be the lead role, hundreds of times over. That Levi had picked Eren out of everyone as the best, that he was extra hard on him because he knew that he could make a star. And that really, I had never gotten the same kind of exposure that Eren had, the type that comes from being a lead.” Connie states. 

The video cuts - to videos of Connie and Eren filming on the set of Attack on Titan - the two of them playing pranks on Erwin and Hange together, running around each other between scenes, and laughing at Historia and Ymir walking past. 

“Eren is one of my best friends. I would never want to side swipe him like that, so I decided that I was going to ask Eren for the role. And I was really self-assured that Eren would give it to me. Because he’s always been giving in that sense, he always had been with Armin and Y/N, and he would for me too.” Connie states. 

“Just to clarify, the reason that I didn’t let Connie take the role at that point was because I had quite literally sustained a concussion from doing it. I was never going to let him step into that - no matter how hard he begged me to.” Eren responds. 

“And so I got really hurt by it. And then everyone around me, they kept whispering it in my ear. That Eren couldn’t handle anyone but him being the star. That Eren thought I had no business being there, that I wasn’t made to be in a lead role. And for some reason, I don’t know fucking why, I thought that they were being honest with me. That they were being earnest. They kept bringing up the Girlfriend incident, that Eren was so quick to drag Y/N down the first chance he got, and that he would do the same to me too. I had so much trust in these people that I would do anything to stay friends with them. Because they were real. And unfortunately for me, I did. And one of the shittiest things I ever did was fight with Eren because of it.” Connie stated. 

Eren found out, three months after the fact, that Connie had been doing drugs. He had his suspicions, since Connie had been spending so much time around Myka, and acting so weird and skittish around him that something had to be up. 

So after he dropped Teddy off to Landon’s and head back to set with Lana, the two of them were prepared to talk to him about whatever it was, to clear the air. Except when they got there and knocked on Connie’s door, they found him lying face down on the desk, fast asleep with a small mound of white powder and a small trickle of blood down his nose. 

“Connie. Connie, wake up.” Eren states, rigidly shaking his entire frame. 

“Oh my gosh. Oh my god, Eren what do we do?” Lana states, her hands on his shoulder as he hears her sniffling in his ear. 

“Connie. Dude, you have to wake up now. Come on.” Eren states. 

Connie lightly shuffles in his sleep, as Eren backs up out of the way, with Lana behind him. Connie wakes up, half there, as his eyes focus in on Eren and he pales. That Connie’s giving him the most agitated, mean look that he’s ever gotten in his life. That he’s ever seen Connie sport in his life. 

“Connie. Hey, you-” 

“What do you want, Eren?” he asks. 

“We were just worried about you, dude. We haven’t talked in so long, and that’s our fault, but-” 

“I’m not good enough for you, right? You’re too big of a star to be friends with someone as low on the food chain as me right?” Connie responds, seething. 

Eren frowns. 

“Connie, hey man. What are you talking about? We’ve been like family since we were little. Why would I-” 

“Why didn’t you give me the lead role? Why the fuck are you and Lana always sneaking around behind my fucking back? Don’t play the family card in my face when you’re the one who fucking abandoned me, Eren.” 

“Connie. I’m really sorry that I-” 

That’s when Connie lifts his hand, jolting it straight across Eren’s face. He can feel the immediate, immense pressure on his nose, the bright red shooting out of his nostrils as he looks back up at Connie. 

“Connie. We can’t-” 

“We can’t what? You won’t fight me?” 

“No, Connie. I’m not going to fight you.” Eren states. 

“Why not? You’re still too good for me, aren’t you? You’re too good for Y/N, too good for me, too good for anyone who fucking got you there.” Connie states, swinging again. 

Connie’s movements are loose, uncoordinated, which is when Eren reaches for his arm, just to pin him to the ground underheath him. There’s a sweltering guilt when he does it, holds Connie down, and it only increases in magnitude when Connie cries underneath him, cursing his name. 

“Two weeks after my fight with Connie, my worst possible outcome occurred. That I have friends, who love me more than anything, and wanted to surprise me for my birthday. Y/N and Armin came to Seattle. And Y/N….she wanted to tell me that she still loved me.” Eren states. 

“That was the worst possible time that they could have shown up. Because they were this close to leaking my secret, basically telling me that it was any day now that it was going to happen, after finding out that Eren and I were planning on breaking our contracts, just to be out of the situation for good. We had even reached out to Levi and Hange about it, which they had found out about very fast.” Lana states. 

“I saw Y/N for the first time at my birthday dinner and was immediately floored at the fact that she was there. And Armin had quickly told me, when I had scurried away to the bathroom to check on her, so I knew what I had to do. I left my birthday dinner, with Hyla, to break up with her then and there. When I knew that I had a chance at getting Y/N back.” Eren states. 

“Do you want to get out of here? Just you and me?” 

Hyla gives him a giddy smile as she nods, putting her hand in his, as he drags her out, with his arm secured around his waist. And the second that he can drive them slightly out of earshot, back to the house where he can talk to her in private, there’s a weight that’s lifted off of his chest when he gets to say it. 

“I’m breaking up with you.” Eren states. 

Hyla frowns, squinting her eyes at him. 

“Okay but like…technically, we aren’t even dating. It’s just a publicity thing.” Hyla states. 

“Whatever this is. I want out. I-I’m not doing it anymore.” Eren states. 

Hyla laughs, sitting criss crossed on the couch, as she looks up at him. 

“My dad is going to be super pissed at you, Eren.” 

Eren smiles, lighter than he had been feeling in the four years that he had been stuck in this godforsaken house. Because truly, the reason that had brought him here, didn’t matter anymore. 

Levi and Hange were on his side - and they were going to help him out of this - and more importantly, you were back. The two of you were going to be together again, despite wherever the hell the two of you were going to be stuck. 

“I don’t care. My contrat is almost up anyways. And I can imagine that the same headlines get boring over time, Hyla. I think it’s time to call it quits.” 

Eren looks down at her, busily typing away on her phone, as she looks up at him. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Eren?” Hyla states. 

“Yeah. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” 

“Fine. You can meet with my dad tomorrow to talk about it. He’s been thinking about bringing Ricky James on for a while anyways.” Eren states. 

“Be my guest. You guys would fucking love him.” Eren states, running off. 

“I was still on Cloud Nine that night. And it was making my skin itch, knowing that Y/N was like four feet away from me and we were going to be together again. So I woke her up in the middle of the night and took her to the beach outside of one of the houses that Lana and I owned. And-” 

Eren tears up in the video, as you fight away the warm tears that are welling in your own eyes. 

“During that entire night, I-I was so fucking happy again. All of the things that seemed so consequential to me when I was seventeen, that I needed to be at the same level as Y/N to be with her - which would basically be impossible, because she was always going to be better than me - seemed so ridiculous. The two of us, we just got to be real people in the second. The way that we always got to be when we were together.” Eren states. 

“The following morning, Scott had shockingly agreed to let Eren and I be dismissed from our contracts, given that we finished off the press deals that we had going on. Which included the interview that we were going to do on the Life in Love podcast. Which should have ben our first, glaring red flag. That of course, we were never going to be let off that easy.” Lana states. 

“It was simple. I guess-I guess I was so fucking happy that I got to talk about me and Y/N, what the two of us coming back together meant to me, that I put it all out there. And the WBS paid off Life in Love and edited the version of the podcast that was released.” Eren states. 

“Granted, the part that’s always floored us that people never questioned it once. That the podcast clip that was released was barely ten minutes, when the episodes are usually an hour. That the podcaster has to ask questions to provoke the answers and that they weren’t even in the fucking video. And most of all - the fact that I didn’t even fucking talk thoughout the entirety of the interview.” Lana adds. 

“I would have told Y/N. I would have told her the full truth then and there and I know that she would have believed me. Except, the person that I least expected, came to me beforehand and stopped me from doing it.” Eren states. 

Eren’s met with an incessant pounding at his door, as he shoves all of his last belongings into his bag, ready to take off with you and Armin - and making your best efforts to drag Connie with you. 

Eren opens the door to find Myka at his door, out of breath and panting. 

“What?” Eren asks. 

“Eren. You can’t leave.” 

“Oh what the fuck do you want now? I’m taking Connie with me and that’s the fucking last of it.” Eren states. 

“No, Eren. Really. You can’t go right now.” she states, pushing into his room and fervently sliding through her phone. 

She hands him over the phone, with the email chain, as he anxiously reads through it and feels his heart drop. 

“There’s no way. They can’t do that right?” 

The email chain has the headlines - printed out and ready for distribution. Of them displaying every one of the last secrets that he wants out there front and center. About Connie being a drug addict, about Lana and Teddy, and of him and Y/N being homewreckers on the beach. 

“It’s just a headline. We’ll be fine.” 

“Eren. I read the article. They wrote about her brother’s in the article. About Lana and Ricky too - in detail.” 

“What do you mean in detail?” 

“They know everything, Eren. About every last detail of what he did to her, Eren. They’re going to put it all out there tomorrow, the second that you leave. And Y/N’s brothers…haven’t they literally been attacked before? This will be tenfold to that, Eren.” 

Eren sighs, shaking the thought from this head. 

“We’ll send them a security detail. And Lana, Connie, they’ll be-” 

“Eren. You know for a fact that Lana doesn’t want anyone to know that he even exists. And Connie’s career. He’s never going to recover from this. And it’s- Y/N won’t be happy, Eren.” She states. 

“So what the hell do you want me to do? Just stay here? Because there’s no way in hell that I’m letting Y/N stay here with me. And I know her - she’s not going to leave here without me.” 

“They have Falco and Colt’s addresses, Eren. And-and don’t tell anyone but fucking Danny and Sareen? Her producers? They’re in on it. Sareen is literally Scott’s cousin, Eren. They’re planning on taking Y/N’s music away from her, so that they can make money off if it without giving her a cut.” 

Eren pales. 

“They’re going to do that if she stays here. And you know for a fact that you can’t leave because Connie won’t go and Teddy and- Eren you have to stay. She has to leave.” 

“I can’t even fucking trust you. I don’t know what shitty game you’re trying to play here but it’s not funny.” 

“I care about you guys.” 

“Yeah right.” 

“Okay, maybe not about you. But Lana….I care about Lana. This is the last thing she would want, she literally works so hard to make sure that no one will know about him for good reason. It would kill her to see it all get leaked.” 

“Who the fuck is Lana to you? You don’t even-” 

Eren understands it all too quickly. The pained flash that overtakes her eyes, the eway she’s so incessantly pleading on Lana’s behalf. 

It’s because she’s in love with Lana. 

Eren sighs, pinching his eyes shut. 

“Do you have the article? I have to read it before I decide.” Eren states. 

She nods, as she opens up the next email chain andhands him the phone. And when he reads through it, each consecutive sentence makes his stomach hurt, making it glaringly obvious what he has to decide. 

Because the all but declare a smear chain against you and your brothers, slut shame you for what happened on he beach, drag Hange and Levi’s name to the blood, and leave no detail of Lana’s relationship with Ricky out. Things that no person should have aired out and Connie’s section nearly career ruining. 

“Fuck. So what do I do? I mean-” 

Eren can feel the tears burning in his eyes, as the leave warm, hot streaks down his skin. 

“You have to make sure she leaves, Eren. You can’t have Y/N stay here. It’ll put things back to normal.” Myka states, downtrodden. 

“She’s not going to leave. If I tell her, she’s going to want to stay with me. To be in my side during this and-” 

“Say what you have to. To make her leave.” 

“Think of the worst possible thing you could say, Eren.” 

“I did what she asked. I-I made sure that she would leave. And in hindsight, the entire situation seems so stupid that me. That there were ten other things that I could have done, but…in that moment, I did what I thought was right.” 

“It was idiotic in hindsight. Because it stopped them from running their smear campaigns on Lana and Connie, but Y/N was the one who got side sweeped in the middle of it.” Connie states. 

“That’s where I came in. Danny and Sareen had reached out to me about everything that had happened with Y/N and Eren. Told me that I needed to amke sure that she came out of this on the other side, that she couldn’t let a guy take her career away from her. And anyone who knows the half of it about me knows for a fact that it was the right thing that they needed me to say, to get her to do it. And really, they had purposely picked everyone who went to see Y/N. Jean, not Mikasa, because he had a personal interest in seeing Eren hurt, because he was hurt too. And Sukuna, who would never advise her head on, but support what she wanted to do in full.” Historia says. 

You groan, hanging your head in your knees as you know exactly what’s coming next. 

That Danny and Sareen had given Scott and his stupid tabloid company exactly what he wanted. That they were the one pushing you to sing all three songs, that each consecutive piece of information made you more irritated, more mad as you went on to perform. And worse than that - Danny and Sareen made it a point to talk to Eren before the show, just to taunt him to his face. 

“I had reached out to Levi and Hange for their help two weeks before the award show happened. And luckily enough for me, they helped us out of the situation, fast. Connie, Lana, Sukuna, and I sued Scott Clarkson for defamation of character, mistreatment of employees, and a dangerous workplace. We got to end our contracts early. And then moved forward.” Eren states. 

The video changes to different clips, each one striking deep in your heart. Of Connie blowing out the candles on his one year anniversary of being sober as Teddy blows out his birthday candles, of Eren and Zeke getting along, and of the four of them all together, laughing at stupid videos of each other. And Eren signing along with Lana, brings the tears pouring down your eyes. 

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh) When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh) Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you Rain came pouring down When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe And by morning Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean (Oh, oh, oh, oh)

“Make no mistake. There was so much that was taken out of us, in the years that we spent working there at Stone Studios. In being part of an environment that was so shitty, so damaging to who we were and the mental state that we were living in, in the name of making a good movie. But there was good that came out of it too.” 

The clips switch, this time shocking you so deeply in your core that it makes your heart burn. Because the clips are of Sukuna and Lana, together. Swinging their hands together on the beach, cooking together in the kitchen, and kissing each other on the cheek. 

“I know for a fact now, that the tiny little wishes that I made against my bedroom door have come true. Because I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed with the warmest, most compassionate partner that I could have ever wanted.” 

Which is when you notice it. That in the video, Sukuna has the same little teddy bear tattoo as Lana on his forearm. And that they both have the tattoo for their son. 

Your past and mine are parallel lines Stars all aligned and they intertwined And taught you The way you call me, "Baby" Treat me like a lady All that I can say is All of the girls you loved before (ooh) Made you the one I've fallen for Every dead-end street Led you straight to me Now you're all I need I'm so thankful for All of the girls you loved before But I love you more

“Lana is the love of my life. I’m glad that every shitty thing in my life was just…preparation for me to get to her. Because every shitty betrayal, every crappy headline, every deep rooted hard feeling in my chest, she’s the person who was made to handle it. She’s gentle, she’s warm, and she’s everything I’ve ever wanted. And I’d go down this path a hundred times more if Teddy and Lana were always the ones waiting for me at the end.” Sukuna states. 

“It was a horrible situation. But it’s taught us to appreciate the very best. For me, I finally got to reconcile with my older brother, who go to tell me the real story of what happened to him as a kid. And now, I’ve gotten to rectify one of the most important relationships in my life.” Eren states. 

“I feel really shitty for how things went down, Eren.” Zeke states. 

Eren nods, hiking his knees to his chest, as he rests his chin against his legs. Hange and Levi had invited Zeke over in his little retreat in the house, as they prepared for the case at the end of the week, just to talk things out. Hange and Levi had all but forced Eren to be polite and at least hear him out. 

“I’m sure you’re too young to remember. But, that day at the hospital. They had started the rumors that I was funding drug dealers through money that I had in my back accounts.” Zeke states. 

“Well, what did you actually do with that money? Because I know for a fact that Mom and Dad had actually found money being shoveled out of your savings, Zeke.” 

He frowns. 

“You know my Mom, Eren?”

“What kind of dumbass question is that? We have the same mom, idiot.” 

“No, Eren. My biological mother.” 

“Oh, sorry. Dina, right?” 

“She’s not a good person. And I know that. But, she had reached out to me. Asking for money. She said that she needed the money for hospital bills and all that and that Dad wouldn’t return her calls. And that she feels horrible asking of this, because she knows I’m her son and she should have taken care of me, butcher really, reallyneeded it.” Zeke states. 

“And she…spent it on drugs.” Eren states. 

“Yeah. And Mom and Dad knew that, they believed me when I told them.” 

“They did?” 

“Yeah. But it was my decision to distance myself away from you guys. I wasn’t planning on doing it but…Mom lost a magazine cover, Dad lost a role, and…I knew that this was your dream. That you wanted to make it big and you couldn’t really make it big with me attached to your name.” 

“Zeke. That’s so stupid. I wouldn’t have cared about that. And I don’t care because-” 

“Eren. You don’t care now. There comes a point where everyone reaches this kind of stage. Where thje politics and the shitty tabliods, they make you realize that all of these things are really inconsequential. But at that age, this was all that you wanted. And I’d hate foryou to secretly resent me, resent my shitty decisions, becuase they were the ones that were holding you back.” 

“Zeke…”

“I’m just glad to have you back as my brother now. I know my actions don’t really make it seem that way, but you kind of meant the world to me, man.” 

The camera cuts, to a black screen with text on it, as the movie closes out. 

Eren Jaeger, Lana Price, Connie Springer, and Ryomen Sukuna sued Scott Clarkson and Stone Studios on November 6th. The four of them reached a settlement with the studio, each recieiving twenty-five millions dollars each from the Clarkson Conglomerate. 

Lana Price and Ryomen Sukuna have decided to split their settlement money two ways. Both are dedicating a half to ensure that they can continue to fund and upkeep security costs for their son, Theodore Price. And together, the two of them are donating the other half of their money to sexual assault victims, in hopes to support those who have similar experiences to the two of them. 

Connie Springer has decided to donate all of his settlement money in order to support the establishment of rehab centers in various cities throughout the country. He hopes to create an advocacy network for those who have struggled and hopes to shine a light on the problems that exist in the current, underfunded programs. 

Eren Jaeger, along with his settlement money, has asked Stone Studios for two additional items. First, he has asked for a copy of the original interview that he did for Life in Love, which he plans to return to Y/N L/N, who he claims was the only person who deserved to hear those words in the first place, the first chance he gets. 

Second, Eren Jaeger negotiated with the conglomerate for weeks for the masters to Y/N L/N’s album, The Lucky One. The negotiation was short-lived, but the Scott Conglomerate has promised to return the rights of the music to Y/N L/N. 

And third. Eren Jaeger has decided to donate his settlement money to fund arts programs throughout the Candian Provinces. Eren Jaegers album, Valedictorian, will donate all of the money produced in it’s first calendar year to the same cause. 

“Y/N has dreamed about being a triple threat since she was a kid. But the first time that she ever felt that the dream was real was when, according to her, a group of hippie dippies in her hometown had raised money and petitioned to fund the arts program at her school. Which in turn, helped her realize that this was something that she loved. More so than just something that she wanted to do as a career, but something that was so in tune with who she was as a person, that she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from doing it even if she wanted to. And I’d hate for people to look at me, or at her, and be dissuaded from coming into this industry, no matter how shitty it is. There’s really depth to her art and her work that can’t and wont’ ever be diminished by any of this. Which was the point of all of this anyway.” 

The video switches, this time to different clips of you and Eren. Of the two of you at awards shows togethers, sitting in interviews together laughing, and the nearly thousands of clips that Connie has made of you two together throughout the years. 

Of the two of you in love. 

I still remember the look on your face Lit through the darkness at 1:58 The words that you whispered for just us to know You told me you loved me So why did you go away?

“Make no mistake. Y/N L/N is the love of my life. She’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. She’s compassionate, sensitive, and always been so understanding of me. There’s never been, and going to be, someone in my life that has such a pull on me the way she does. She’s the moon, she’s the only reason that I even push and pull in the way that I do. I wouldn’t be sitting here, in this chair today, telling my truth if she hadn’t been so brave, so truthful as to do it first. And I wouldn’t be sitting here, still wholeheartedly believing in love, even though I lost it, because I know for a fact that it would be a disservice to what we shared to turn myself away from it.” 

I never thought we'd have a last kiss I never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are Hope it's nice where you are

“It’s always that dumb question that people ask. Would you rather love and lose it or not love at all?” 

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed You can plan for a change in the weather and time But I never planned on you changing your mind

“The correct answer is always to chose love. And it’s an easy question when the person you’re loving is love personified.” Eren finishes. 

You turn over to Eren, teary eyed and the gaping, the burning feeling in your chest so immense that you can’t even fathom the words to say to him. So overwhelmed, so overstimulate from everything that you’ve heard - everything that you’ve felt - that you can barely keep your head on straight. The last song starts playing, which you can tell is entitled Fine Line from the credits line, as the words make the sobs wrack through you fully. 

We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright (alright, alright, alright) 

You turn to him, his hands on your shoulders, as he reaches up to brush the tears off of your face. You can still feel yourself hiccuping in his touch, the look in his eyes so pained as he looks into your eyes. 

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.” Eren whispers. 

“Eren. You- you fucking idiot. I’m going to kill you.” you whisper back, mustering your best glare as you frown at him. 

“That frown never stops being cute, you know? You have the horror appeal of a stuffed animal.” 

You shove him, in response, glaring at him as the burning in your chest slightly subsides. 

“Stop trying to lighten the mood. I’m ten different levels of mad at you right now.” 

“Okay. I’m going to say something crazy to you, but it’s just an idea, okay? We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to?” 

“What the fuck could be crazier than…oh, I told you that I didn’t care about you because I wanted to protect you? Or, oh, I sued a person who took everything away from me and instead of trying to get more money, I tried to get back the rights to your music. Or oh, THAT STUPID INTERVIEW I DID WAS FUCKING EDITED?” 

“Okay. Maybe it’s a little less crazy than that. But just hear me out okay?” 

“I can basically never hear that phrase the same from you again. The last time I didn’t hear you out, you were sitting on a butt load of fucking information. Like the fact that you took the fall for me when someone threatened my fucking family? Or oh, I was struggling for years on end but never once reached out to you or-” 

“Sweetheart. Just listen to me. Please.” 

You frown, crossing your arms as you look at him. 

“Everyone else is going to be on the press tour for another four days. And there are some people who want to see us….in Seattle.” 

“Seattle? Don’t tell me in some weird twisted way that you're friends with Hyla or something?” 

“Ew, no. Not Hyla. But your wife wistfully looks at the window everyday, wondering when you’re going to come home from war. And no I’m not being dramatic she makes that joke almost every day. And Sukuna said he has some choice words prepared for you that he’s been sitting on for a few years now. And, it’s also Teddy’s sixth birthday. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m kind of his favorite. And I know that he would like you too.” 

“You-” 

“It would just be for two days. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but the two of them. They really love you. They want to see you and…you have a lot to talk about. With both of them.” 

“Yeah. I-I want to see Lana. And Sukuna, they…. fuck, Eren. they went through so much. You- you went through so much. I’d like to see them and- Eren, I don’t know what to say but-” you respond, the tears warm as they spread down your eyes. 

“Don’t say anything yet. Sit on it for a little. I’ll pack our things, yeah?” he states, voice warm as he smiles at you. 

“Okay.” 

“One last thing, Y/N.” 

“Eren. You’re going to give me a heart attack.” 

He rolls his eyes, as he fishes through his pocket, and places a USB in your hand. You twist it over in your fingers as you look at it and give him a confused look. 

“The interview. Unedited. I-I meant what I said. You-you should be able to hear it. Those words are meant for you and you only.

You turn it over in your hands, preshing it flesh against your hand, as you and Eren step out of the townhouse into the snow and head towards the car for the airport. 

Hand in hand.

--

next part linked here

an: GUYS U CANT SIMP OVER SUKUNA ANYMORE HES A FATHER. LEAVE HIM ALONE I SWEAR TO GOD. that being said sukuna and lana appearances next chapter RAAAA. and as always, someone send me an ask for the valedictorian tracklist I HAVE IT LOCKED AND LOADED

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld @luvs4kim @levin4nami @florichun @hoonmyluv

[revehae]

i’m not asking you to write for wonbin but if you ever do js know i wiillllll be there !

yall have finally did it yall have won yall have Cracked me i hope youre happy bc i kinda am… i had this idea before he cut his hair now im feeling like that one harry styles fan tweet and i don’t even stan fr

warnings: drug use, addiction, is this dubcon idk

wc. 670

dealer!wonbin x (f) rich!reader.

wonbin knew you wouldn’t turn down his offer. not in the state that you were in, moody and tense as ever. the girl he’d seen around here and there at parties hadn’t come back around, not since he’d first seen her bump a line or two, and she’d been replaced by you.

what you had become over the months, at least.

not that wonbin would have it any other way. he liked having you kind of dependent on him, knowing he was the first person crossing your mind when you needed a fix. but the brief interactions, meeting you at a party or somewhere shady at night, your car window rolling up as quickly as it had gone down, weren’t enough anymore.

“no.”

“no?” you repeated, like the entitled, spoiled rich girl you really were deep down. wonbin had to give you credit, you cloaked it well, but when you were desperate, you showed your true colors. “what do you mean no?”

wonbin grinned playfully, in a way that he knew would aggravate you. “i mean, i set everything aside for my buddy, and i don’t have enough for you right now.”

you rubbed your nose and ran a finger through your hair, exhaling exasperatedly. “well, tell him to wait. i need it more than he does! is he paying you? i’ll pay you twice as much!”

there you went, offering him your pocket money, throwing it away like it was nothing just for a second of your high. but wonbin didn’t need your money. selling cocaine to recklessly needy addicts like yourself was a very lucrative business.

he shook his head. “sorry, that’s not gonna cut it. but i thought of something better.”

you were in the middle of losing what was left of your mind when wonbin said that and your eyes immediately snapped back to him, fixed to him before he could even get the words completely out.

“i’ll give you two grams if you let me fuck you,” wonbin said casually, a wild grin tugging at his lips. “six grams if you let me do it raw.”

you were a little reluctant at first, but wonbin wasn’t surprised when you finally caved, thinking to himself, that was too damn easy.

because he was nice, wonbin let you snort a line before he touched you, but he was on top of you not a second later. in spite of that, he didn’t move like he was in any particular hurry, snaking a hand up your shirt and pressing his lips against your lips. then your neck, your collarbone, your belly. almost affectionately, almost.

it started to work you up quickly, and you even got annoyed, tugging at his hair, but wonbin didn’t care. matter of fact, he could feel his body getting hotter, burning a thousand degrees. he wanted to savor every second of you, every touch of you, every smell of you.

wonbin really liked the smell of you. the sweet scent helped masked the madness underneath when you were like this. he leaned in to sniff your hair, your neck, your clothes, your hands.

it made his dick twitch in his pants and he couldn’t control himself anymore, yanking it free so that he could steer himself between your open, inviting legs, moaning shakily and blowing his hair out of his eyes as he pushed into you. 

knowing that only a few months ago, your dignity would have never let you consent to something like this, wonbin almost felt bad. he may have sold the drugs, but he never touched them otherwise. too many people he had seen wind up like you, selling themselves out for a moment of ecstasy.

but he wasn’t so different. your cunt squeezed and throttled the life out of his cock. sweat was the reason your body clung to his. you were muttering his name, dragging red lines down his back with your fingernails. and for the time being, there was nothing wonbin wouldn’t do for his moment of ecstasy.

[themotherofblood]

Hi! I literally devoured your Vampire Series, it's awesome!

I was thinking since it's summer why don't our vampires go to the sea? Something like Daemon and Rhaenyra want to see the baby girl in a swimsuit and they're specially prepared for that. But the girl is shy because vampires look just divine and she has quite a few scars and marks left on her. And in the end they calm her down.

um! yes! 100x yes! This one is a blurb I AM INCAPABLE OF WRITING THEM. ENJOY THIS 1K+ baby mind you :) So have fun spending a day at Summerhall.

Vampire!Daemon x reader x Vampire!Rhaenyra

masterlist | series masterlist | Vampire AU

warnings: compulsion, oral (F), mentions of blood. a very teeny tiny allusion to self harm (if you squint)

a/n: also Netflix exists in Modern!Westeros :) also reader is kinda toxic but hey this is a dark series so eh. Also other than Marvel, lemme know what odd niche thing you think exists in Modern!Westeros (Teslas? Harry Styles? Cupcake Remixs? EUPHORIA?!) Also, Summerhall is built on one of the StepStones island and reader lived in Storm’s End

Rhaenyra had been worried, you weren’t yourself the past few days. Having merely shown them a glimpse of the sunshine you were for a week, you became quiet again. Obediently offering up a wrist or lifting your skirt for Daemon when asked, pulling up your hair and dropping to your knees on Rhaenyra’s command. Then returning to shield yourself within the pink walls of your rooms. Binging some medical surgery show and smiling along at its romance.

They had your things shipped from your old apartments up at Storm Street, even your little cactus on your coffee table was returned to you safely. Daemon bought you a much larger one, thinking it would have made you happy. You admired the gesture, but it was big and just a little bit ugly. You spent a few hours scrolling through your laptop and phone that was also returned to you, you wouldn’t run, they knew you wouldn’t. Your mind so tightly in their grasp, you no longer looked at the main gates around the island.

Today you laid curled in the theatre room, a melting bowl of strawberry ice cream on your lap as you hummed along to another concert documentry, you missed going out— the fun behind getting ready with friends, the drunk unrelenting laughter and feeling damn sexy by choosing to dress slutty once every month. Now all you saw was scars, yellows, blues and purples. They would have taken longer to heal if Mrs Stone hadn’t brought you a steaming cup of tea with two drops of either Daemon or Rhaenyra’s blood.

You would never see them on the days you healed, away from the island for their business, and you were happier for it. Finding the scarring rather displeasing to look at and relief that you could frolic around this giant property in your PJ’s and messed hair. Sometimes when you truly felt lonely, you would put on your headphones, blaring against your ears as you danced down the hallway. All of whom in witness were the many paintings of Old Valyrian nobility and Targaryen royalty. The first day you did it, merely mumbling along the lyrics but by the end of the month you were sure Mrs Stone could hear you screaming the songs from the kitchen.

The same over and over again for four days at a time, you grew a little worried over your mother—her silence was agonizing to this day. She didn’t have much to say, you wanted to tell her, you were lonely and even alone you might have been addicted to the gentle heaviness in your heart every time you woke up in bed alone after an exhaustive night of being fed on. Yet everytime you heard their car doors thud close, you’d run down the grand stairs to greet them barefooted and in a pretty dress. Throwing yourself at whoever walked through the doors first.

Today in particular, you stood in your giant closet, finally feeling comfortable to partake in all that it was stocked with. While you were happy that your older clothes found a home within the white trim dressers. The gowns, the little girl in you screaming as you put one on, you couldn’t lace it through though, all poofy and tulle. Underneath you had on a lingerie set, throughly pretending to be one of those catalogue models.

You took to the east wing hallways again, waving at the portrait of Baelon Targaryen. Waving around your skirts to a up tempo song and the cool stone underneath your feet. You came to stop at a glass enclosing, Rhaenyra’s coronation gown and her crown laying on a velvet red pillow. Your reflection covering the silhouette of the dress, you imagined yourself in it. You were sure the seams of the dress were made of gold threads.

You were pulled out of your thoughts at the sound of the main gates opening Daemon’s car waiting behind it.

Fuck. They were home early.

You hiked the skirt of your gown and ran down the hall to your bedroom, struggling hard to be rid of your dress and gazillion straps on your lingerie and changing into a more modest sundress to cover your bandaging. You knew you wouldn’t make it down the stairs in time so you sat down on the arm chair by the fireplace with a book. Trying hard to calm your thudding heart. Just as you expected a knock rang down your door before it opened just a little.

Rhaenyra poured in, dressed in a long red dress. Her arms wide as she came to engulf you, snuggling her chin on top of your head.

“I thought you would return the day after?” You asked, smiling up at her.

“Hmm, the Bravosi deal cracked a lot easier than we had hoped and Daemon found a fine meal last night. So we thought we’d return to our darling sooner.” She explained, lifting you up to sit in your spot and pull you down on her lap. “Unless, you didn’t want us to.”

You shook you head, resting it against her temple before reaching lower with your lips to kiss her. “Where’s Daemon?” you looked back to the open door.

“At the docks getting the yacht out.” she said, tucking your hair behind your ear and rubbing her nose against your neck.

“The yacht?” you were sure they even had nuclear weapons under this palace and Daemon could have been Iron Man because why not? You just wonder why.

“Well the weather is just too perfect to waste it so,” she looked towards the window “and I thought you loved swimming, what better way to spend today?”

Rhaenyra could hear Daemon grumbling down at the beach, scolding yet another house keeper for some odd detail they might have missed. She shook her head “I’m going to go check on Daemon before he rips the head of another worker. Get changed.” She pecked your lips before leaving to find Daemon.

You padded back into the closet, this time putting away the gown you were messing around in neatly. Probably costs an eyeball, you dig around for while to find your older swimsuit, a cute green one piece with paisleys on them, perfectly worn in. Then it hit you when you looked around your closet for a moment. Greens right… you loved that one and now it was probably burned along with other green clothing that you were now noticing missing.

You groan when you can’t find it, instead find a sea of newer one and two pieces. You nearly bang your head twice against the drawer before pulling out a white one. Just as you change the dread fills you, they’ve never seen you like this. Not so bruised, usually all that’s left by the time they lay with you again are small puncture scars that they yet again poke through new. Finding no reason to find a new favourite spot to drink from.

You grimace at the odd colouring of your scars clashing with the white, damn it, stretch marks would have been one thing. It was bearable to you but these scars were ugly. You hastily peeled a patch bandage and sticking them on your inner thighs, the left backside of your shoulder (not and easy accomplishment) and neck. Then you prayed to the gods of makeup gurus and tried to hide the yellowing with concealer. It didn’t work very well but it was better than before, instead of pulling on a cover up you pulled an cardigan with longer shorts. Groaning in your hands before leaving to find them.

You stood at the gates, you couldn’t leave them. Tapping your foot, wondering if they forgot about your little predicament. “I’m stuck here!” you chided out loud, knowing they could hear your from the beaches lower.

Daemon was quick to the gates, you hugged your torso, hoping none of the scars where viable as he gave you a once over. He was sizing you, eyes squinted as he leaned on one hip. He approached you, letting his palm curl around you cheek as he kissed you, commanding—almost a threat.

“You can go through gates,” you mind went blank as his eyes dilated.

“I can go through the gates.”

Your eyes cleared and you looked to gates, Home..? No, no. You stay here now.

Daemon was still watching closely, taking note of the way your heart jumped for a moment. He wanted to trust you, not that you could run far from the bridge across to the mainland forest. He thought maybe you were pliant enough that he wouldn’t have to. Yet your heartbeat jumped once more.

“You will not run.” His eyes dilated once more, clutching your jaw harder.

“I won’t run.”

You shook your head once more and the butterflies faded entirely. “Head down the steps on the left. Nyra is waiting for you on the dock.”

You nodded before skipping down the gates, not a second glance was offered to the mainland bridge. You ran down the long dock to Rhaenyra waiting in the boat your thudding ballet flats warning her much before. She helped you onto the boat, before swiftly twirling you into her arms. Her fingers feeling under the fabric of your cardigan and smiling at the feeling of your bathing suit.

The sun had its glare set upon the open warm sea, the cool winds however making the weather bearable to your skin. In the one hour you had been on the boat, you had been hen mother scolded by Rhaenyra twice. First because you forgot to bring a pair of sunglasses. Second, you only had a bowl of strawberry ice cream for breakfast. You had sheepishly smiled at her as Daemon smirked at his wife. He didn’t mind you being spoilt, anything to keep you here willingly—he didn’t enjoy compelling you. The consequences of compulsion would rain down far worse on you than them.

There were already a few signs, odd blurring of your memories of your older life. You had entirely forgotten which middle school you went to until the reminded you uncomfortably in a conversation. Luckily the many photos albums and stashes of Polaroids you had at your apartment were more than enough grout to fill the gaps in your memory. Then there was spurts of blank, one moment you could be speaking or whimpering in their arms to just blank—robotic like the colour drains from your eyes.

“I wonder what other spoilt things you are up to in the day,” Rhaenyra huffed as she pulled your other leg onto her lap to rub sunscreen on. She knew, both her and Daemon very much knew about the dance parties with their ancestors in attendance. From all the cameras around the house that they checked upon every night away from you.

“Does talking to Aenys Targaryen count?” you giggled, making Daemon’s eyebrows perk up. “He seemed like a good listener, very pretty.”

“Very weak.” Daemon coughed. “What else?”

“Uh… watched a documentary on whales actually. Fascinating.” you mused before looking out to the sea “I’d like to see one some day.”

“Now, why don’t we go for a dip huh?” Rhaenyra pawed at your pink cardigan, the gentle pull gave her glimpse of the white bandage. “Are you still bleeding?” Her eyes scrunched.

“Did you not take the tea?” Daemon questioned, immediately wondering if Mrs Stone would soon be lunch.

“No— I did.” You shook your head, completely forgetful of the anxiety bubbling within you an hour ago. Rhaenyra tilted her head, confused at the rise in your thudding heart. Daemon too pushing down his sunglasses to look at your with a frown upon your face. Your mouth opened and then closed.

“Well?” he questioned with his palm out.

“You’ve never seen me on healing days, it— it’s not pretty,” you stuttered “so I thought I’d cover up.”

Both Rhaenyra and Daemon visually relaxed, both contemplating worse than what was bothering you.

Rhaenyra said nothing, just hooked her fingers around the buttons of your cardigan before pulling it off, Daemon watched Nyra and you, but mostly listening to the music that was your heart. He hadn’t heard something so reactive, accustomed to the rapid increase in his feed’s heart, the crescendo of fear and the sloshing of blood as he controlled its flow from the carotid artery.

You winced a little as Rhaenyra peeled apart the bandage on your shoulder, peppering little kisses on the bruise “not ugly.” She figured if they had stained such delicate skin, they could kiss it better too. She nodded her head to Daemon, demanding he follow along.

Daemon shook his head Nyra, his sweet wife perfectly cunstruck by a human, so was he—maybe, big maybe. He kneeled infront of you, shimming your shorts up to peel away at the bandaging on your inner thigh. His cock twitched at the sight of the healing bruises and the distinctive puncture marks of his fangs.

His pink tongue poked out as he suckled on the spot—keep it fucking marked he thought. You hissed out loud at that, making Rhaenyra kick Daemon in the thigh as a warning glare. He sneered at her before obliging and peppering kisses up your thigh. You wiggled on the spot as his kisses trailed upwards.

“Needy slut.” He muttered under his breath, he could smell your pooling cunt already as Rhaenyra peeled through the bandage on your chest.

Daemon hooked his fingers around your cotton shorts and pulled them down. His nose rubbing up at your clothed mound, Nyra knew exactly what he wanted to do as she shuffled backwards, letting your upper body rest against her chest. She pulled your white bathing suit to one side, letting Daemon groan and flatten his tongue against your warm folds.

He used his thumb to gently push at the hidden pearl, using his tongue to pry open your folds. He was about to open his palm and lay a smack on your mound, he couldn’t help but crave the sound of your yelps and cries. Rhaenyra was faster though, knowing her husband far too well as she reached over to catch his wrist.

“If you’re going to be a dick, we can switch. You like my tongue better anyways, don’t you sweetie.” she teased her husband, this was a fight you refused to get in between as you looked between the pair.

“You didn’t think I was a dick last night with my tongue in your cunt, riñītsos.” He countered, it was never more apparent that they indeed were a married couple.

You couldn’t help stop the cackle that tore through you next, you pursed your lips to stop another from pouring through but instead choked on a yelp as Rhaenyra slapped your cunt. You bit your tongue from smiling as you gave her your sweetest eyes as an apology.

“Don’t be a brat,” she scolded, still giving Daemon a warning glare to be be nice to you “and you keep licking.”

You curled to your side with a moan as the tip of Daemon’d tongue pushed against your hood before suckling it in mouth.

“Daddy.” You mewled, your hands reaching down to grab hold of his silver hair. The ardent feel of his tongue pushing you masterfully to a longing completion.

“Is he making you feel good, honey?” Rhaenyra pulled your chin up to meet your eyes, you nodded breathlessly. “What do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.” your toes curled around his shoulder as his tongue rapidly flicked against your reddened bud.

Daemon has a voracious need to feel you gushing onto his tongue as he poked into your clenching hole, Rhaenyra reached down to play with you clit but he slapped her hand away— his turn, he knew you liked his tongue the most. He replaced her fingers with his, rolling the bundle of nerves between his fingers. He spat onto your pussy, admiring your scrunched up face as he rubbed tight circles onto your bud.

“Now, whose tongue is your favourite again?” He asked “gotta answer if you want to come today, pet.”

The vehement predicament he had just pushed you into was cruel, just too cruel for your poor heart as you eyes welled up, your bottom lip pouted out. Looking conflicted between Rhaenyra and Daemon as they bottom looked at your expecting an answer. You mouth opened and then closed as your deeply gulped, he couldn’t hold his serious face together for longer. The sweet battle in your mind, he knew your answer would come along with a major punishment at the hands of the other.

He shook his head once more chuckling, making Rhaenyra giggle and press a kiss to your temple.

“Go on, come on daddy’s face.” Rhaenyra whispered in your ear as she let your hair.

You on command, shrieked, relaxing and letting the dam break through as your thighs shuddered along with your body. You hands tightly clutching onto Rhaenyra

“There we go, what a good pet.” Daemon coaxed you through your high as he kept his rubbing going until your orgasm turned to over-sensitized whimpers. Rhaenyra let go of your bathing suit, still stroking your arms as you recovered.

“Thank you.” you huffed once more at Daemon who returned to nursing in his scotch.

“Now go swim.” Rhaenyra patted your thigh as she pushed you up, gesturing at the very calm open waters. You looked to her once, still dazed before looking at the Sunset Sea. You smiled as you climbed down the ladder to the lower deck. Stopping for a moment to drop you cardigan in the floor, before running to the water.

Tucking your legs in a canonball as you squealed before splashing into the water.

Daemon then turned to his wife “you’re getting bossy these days Nyra, don’t make me spank it away.” He warned her as she pulled of her red kaftan to reveal her maroon bathing suit. He laid a quick swat on her milky pale ass as she followed behind you, sitting on the lower deck with her painted feet dipped in the water as she watched you swim.

“She still likes my tongue better Daemon.”

ahhh you guys, this was so much fun to write hehe. I had this scene of Daemyra bickering like a married couple for a long time and I’m so glad I could use it for this AU.

Also, reader was totally screaming The Weeknd songs and Taylor Swift songs to all the Targaryen portraits.

And yes. There will be a chapter where Rhaenyra dresses reader in 120AC attire for roleplay :)

Ps. I’m trying to piece through a Vampire lore like pros cons and might do a backstory of their turning :)

taglist (thank youuuu!! ♥️♥️)

@fan-goddess @funnybunnyxxx @avalyaaa @evattude @you-youuuu

[itsallyscorner]

The Grapejuice Blues | H.S

pairing: Harry Styles x fem!reader

warnings: none

summary: Harry surprises you with your favorite song off his latest album 🍇💜🍷

author’s note: first time posting since last year, so please be gentle <3

📍Horsens, Denmark

Open air arenas always had a different vibe to them. While they stretched far back and were a bit less intimate, something about performing outside was special.

You personally couldn’t say what it was like to perform on stage in front of thousands of people, but after seeing your boyfriend do it countless times, you could tell it was an addicting feeling. The music blaring, the fans singing, it was an adrenaline rush that had a sense of love and pride streaming into your other half’s bloodstream. Being outside with the clouds, the setting sun, and the occasional airplane or bird passing by only amplified that high. Don’t even get Harry started on the rain. He considered the shows that were rained upon to be the most memorable ones.

However, it seemed as though there wouldn’t be any rain at Horsens. The weather was impeccable. There was a slight breeze, wasn’t too cold or too hot, and the sun was out. Perfect weather for the start of the final leg of Love on Tour.

Tour coming to an end was bittersweet. You knew Harry would miss traveling and connecting with his fans. However, you were glad he was finally getting a well deserved break. While he did have a break between the three years he’s been touring, you were excited and a little relieved that he’d be spending time at home resting. No matter how many times he assured you he was doing just fine, you always worried that he was overworking himself. In all honesty, you couldn’t wait to have him home all to yourself—you wanted to sleep in and love up on each other till all the fatigue from tour rubbed off the both of you. Though for now, you were simply living in the moment since you knew you would eventually miss the craziness of touring.

Which brings you to today. You were currently in pit, along with Jeffrey, and Lloyd watching Harry go through his final rehearsal. You were sat on one of the equipment boxes, while the other two leaned against another. Jeff was watching to make sure everything was going smoothly, while Lloyd was there snapping some pictures. You lot have been there for about 30 minutes or so, and from what you have heard, Horsens was in for a treat. Not only were they getting She but they were also getting Stockholm Syndrome. To say you were jealous was an understatement.

“He’s really spoiling them, isn’t he?” You turn to Jeffrey who’s already smiling at you.

“He wanted to surprise everyone—keeping them on their toes as always.” He shrugged, glancing down at the new set list before him. Of course Harry wanted to keep them on their toes, “edging”, he liked to call it.

You rolled your eyes fondly at your boyfriend’s antics, “Such a tease.”

“Oh, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Lloyd smirked, not missing the chance to snap a picture of your face after his comment.

“Piss off.” You muttered, reaching over Jeff and shoving Lloyd’s shoulder, only causing him to chuckle. Meanwhile on stage, Harry had just finished performing WMYB. The heat had started to get to him as he pulled off his neon green Pleasing sweater, and walked towards the end of the stage where you were.

Ironically you were all wearing some kind of merch from Pleasing. Lloyd had the beach bag over his shoulder carrying some of his camera equipment, while Jeff wore the black crewneck. You were in a more comfy getup, wearing the new brown sleepover shorts and the green crewneck. It was like your unofficial uniform as a crew, Harry found it wholesome in all honesty.

From the stage a smile can be seen on Harry’s face as he approaches you all. He crouches down before jumping off the stage and walking over to stand in between your legs.

“Hi baby.” You hum as he wraps his arms around your waist. His face had a slight tan and was shiny, mostly due to the sweat he’s accumulated from the sun. One of your arms wrap around his shoulders, not bothered by the slight sweat beneath his shirt, as your other reached to grab your hydro flask with water.

“Hiya lovey, what d’you think about the set list so far?” He asked you, silently thanking you for the water by pressing a kiss to your jaw. As he drank you responded, “It’s perfect, I think it’s one of the best line ups you’ve had during the tour.”

His one arm remained around you while the other held the hydro flask. He takes one more sip of water before asking, “You think?”

You tilt your head at him and send him a reassuring smile, “Yup, they’re gonna love it H, I promise.” Unable to resist the urge, you ran a hand through his dark brown locks, slightly damp strands of hair tangling with your fingers.

Harry hummed happily at the action, a boyish grin on his pink lips. He was ecstatic that you were able to come along for tour, your job often made it difficult for you to join him for long periods of time, but fortunately with the power of the internet, your boss allowed you to work remotely. Knowing that you were there watching him and would eventually greet him as soon as he finished on stage soothed his nerves. He knew that whatever happens on tour, everything would be alright since you were there. You made him happy and everybody else can agree.

Unbeknownst to either you or Harry, Lloyd managed to snap a quick picture of you both. Not that Harry was always all over the place, but he’s the most relaxed whenever you were around and to see him so calm prior to a show was a pleasant sight for the photographer.

A toothy grin replaced the smile on Harry’s face as he began to pull you off your makeshift seat.

“C’mon, you’re gonna wanna be on stage with me for this.” He pushed you closer towards the stage, walking behind you and gently grasped your hips. You look around confused, “What do you mean?”

“Jus’ get on stage w’me, I have a surprise I think you’ll like.” He slightly teased, motioning for you to jump. You side eyed him for a moment before Harry helped you climb onto the stage. He followed after, effortlessly lifting himself up from pit.

“What are you up to?” You squint up at him as he grasps onto your hand. He leads you towards the center of the stage with that sly smirk on his face.

Harry stops in front of his mic then turns to you, “Will y’stop worrying, you’ll like it babe, I swear.”

He looks over his shoulder and shows a thumbs up towards the band. Suddenly, you heard the infamous opening beats of one of your favorite songs from Harry’s latest album.

You jaw dropped and your eyes widened as you stared at Harry. He couldn’t help but let out a giggle at your reaction.

“You’re playing Grapejuice?” You screamed over the horns and the rest of the band playing behind you. Goosebumps formed on your skin at hearing Grapejuice live in all its glory.

Harry stepped closer towards you, one of his hands gripping his mic and the other on your hip to pull you in closer.

He leaned down towards your ear, “Yep, but I wanted to enjoy it with you before I sing it in front of everyone else again.” His lips then pressed a kiss onto your temple.

Your heart swelled at how precious he truly was. Sure, it was rehearsal and he had to practice the song regardless. But it was the fact that he wanted to rehearse it beside you because he knew it was your favorite song. You weren’t allowed to dwell in your thoughts any longer since Harry began to sing the song to you.

The entire time he held your hand as he directed the song’s lyrics to you. Meanwhile, you sang with him, your body moving alongside his dancing to the swinging melodies of his song.

Down at pit, Jeffrey and Lloyd watched the both of you dancing like a pair of idiots—a pair of cute in love idiots. Lloyd had a blast taking pictures, reminding himself to send them to Harry at the end of the day.

“Save those for the wedding.” Jeffrey told Lloyd. The blonde rolled his eyes and tilted his head at Jeffrey.

“I’ve already got an entire hard drive, should I start making the slideshow now?” Lloyd joked, causing them to chuckle amongst themselves.

As the song came to a close, Harry pulled you close again.

“Y’know why I decided to include it in the set list?” He questioned you.

You shook your head, “Nope, why?”

“S’because you’re finally able to come on tour with me, so as a thank you I wanted to play your song every night to make you happy.” He explained. Your lips pouted at how thoughtful he was, he truly kept exceeding your expectations.

“You really didn’t have to bubs, but I really appreciate it.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him. Your lips placing soft kisses along his neck.

“I know but I wanted to.” He muttered into your hair, arms locking you in against him.

“I’m the happiest when I’m with you.” You sighed contently into the crook of his neck as Harry hummed in response. By now, you were both swaying in each other’s arms, enjoying one another’s presence.

“The fans are gonna go mad.” You chuckle against him.

“Well they have you to thank, don’t they?”

“I guess they do.”

[grapejuicestyless]

Endless Empathy(People Pleaser pt.2)

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: A continuation of the People pleaser short writing that is both linked in my master list on my page and on the top of this part!!! This Can be Read separately!

Angst to fluffy(kinda!)

Read part 1 here!

If you asked Y/n Y/l/n what her favorite feeling in the world was, it wouldn’t even be a second thought as to what her answer would be. It was so obvious to everyone who was lucky enough to be consistently surrounded by her energy. Y/n loved love.

It wasn’t necessarily the feeling of being loved. The girl, as much as she had drifted off into daydreams, fantasizing about her silky white wedding dress and her ideal bridesmaids, her desire for the feeling of love cut much deeper.

It was the knowing feeling that she could give back to someone who needed it. The fuzziness she gained every time she could provide a sense of reliability to someone close to her. The idea she was able to earn their trust because they were just that close made her feel less alone on the nights she spent across the world from her home.

Y/n loved that feeling. The way it would spread from her chest and expand into the pit of her stomach, making it all fluttery and warm. So much so, she found herself altering herself to fit the impossible standards she held herself to.

She found herself doing things she really had no desire to, her passive aggressiveness only grumbling through her lips when she was sure enough she was alone, out of ear shot. Quickly, her lack of want would be overtaken by that euphoria she felt again, the intense sense of happiness making up for her discomfort she subjected herself to.

From afar, it looked like an addiction. The girl constantly itching to do good, to be better. To be the best version of herself in order to lift those up around her, to make everyone proud of her. She wanted people to not feel ashamed when her name came up in conversation. An addiction so bad, the girls need for approval and longing to please everyone at once, her body often moved before her mouth could catch up. Her mind could be screaming no, but she would already have said yes.

It’s not like it had a cure. How can you cure a pathological people pleaser? You can dote on them and smother them as much as you want. Do anything they need, go out of your way to make their life easier, but ultimately your effort will only make it worse. Devoting your time to someone who doesn’t want it in that way. They begin to feel like a chore, an inconvenience that they need to make up for. And the cycle begins again.

——————————————————————————

A burden is often what I felt like these days. Feet swung over the arm of the couch, head pressed back on the cushion that was Harry’s lap. His hands brushed between my hair, which had been stuck on my forehead in an intense sweat that I had broken into while rehearsing for our upcoming show in Cardiff.

We’d only reached As It Was by the time Harry decided it was time for us to conclude our soundcheck.

It was confusing, the way he said it. Almost like it was directed towards me. He sounded like he had been worried, eyes focused in on mine carefully.

Maybe it was because of the scene I’d caused just the show prior or the fact I was sure I was probably shining under the stage lights in my pooling sweat that caused an uneasiness to rise in Harry’s mind.

“Y/n? You ready to call it?” I blinked rapidly, opening my mouth, I was a fish out of water. Sentences became impossible to correctly piece together as an extra layer of heat covers my face. A blanket of blush covering my already irritated face, I felt embarrassed.

Why would he stop such a crucial part of each show for me? What if something had happened during our closing songs tonight? The unsettling lump in my throat expanded into what felt like vomit rising, even with my throat completely dry. The idea that something could be jeopardized, ruining the great experience that is Love On Tour, could all be caused by my inability to keep pushing for just a few more songs made me sick.

Yet, the look Harry gave me as his hands slipped around my waist, lips caught in a worried line sent an all familiar struggle in my bones.

I wanted to make it right, make sure everything was double checked. There would be no issues and everyone could have their two hours of love promised by Harry and the love band, but I also longed to make sure Harry was content, constantly unbothered. If I continued to push the bile down hard enough, I could focus on doing what’s best for one person, forget about everyone else involved.

So it became a blurry mess, between the moment Harry called soundcheck quits to where we found ourselves now. Cuddled up in the relief that was well filtered air conditioner. Harry’s hands tangling and detangling between my hair, pulling lightly on my scalp to relieve any possible pressure, his eyes fixated on the TV which played some ninety’s sitcom with a beautiful group of friends that the public was made to believe were considered average.

While he seemed content in the position he was in, in the moment, I couldn’t put my mind to ease, the anxiety that I could do exactly what I feared most poisoning any sense of relaxation I had previously.

How do you make everyone happy at once when nobody seems to be on the same page? How can you spread love evenly when you’ve already spread yourself so thin? My face was greyed, mind plagued by my deepest fears. My harshest wounds.

Realistically, Harry’s final decision had benefitted the entire crew greatly. Everyone tired and worn from the continuous heat wave that was a blanket over the earth at the moment. But the way it was phrased, the way I was shot sympathetic smiles made me uneasy. As if their benefit was more of a loss and a waste of time.

Looking up at Harry, I studied his face carefully. He seemed at ease. Unbothered by it all. His eyes trained on the screen, a soft laugh escaping his throat. Completely relaxed. Like he didn’t realize I was just barely a foot below his eye level, eyes watering as I slowly died. I promised him to stop being such a push over, such a people pleaser, but you can’t cure a sickness that’s not truly an illness.

How can you love someone you don’t know is sick?

——————————————————————————

I wish I could say I stuck to my word. Continued to be the person I vowed to become after my incident weeks ago. Stopped being a push over, stopped forgetting about myself. Stopped putting on other peoples shoes before my own. But I’m not a liar.

The air was thick, the humidity unforgiving and unrelenting all morning. Everything felt off from the minute my foot left the hotel room booked for the crew. Yet, I took no time to dwell on my own feelings, pushing back the unsettling pit in my stomach and focusing on the day ahead.

Elin sent a quick text to our band group chat. An old one we’d made without Harry to surprise him for his birthday. It was short and simple. The flags were there, ruby red and waving in the wind. The fact that the request was hidden from the one person who pushed back for me. The only person who could say, “no” for me without anyone protesting.

She wrote, “Hey, y/n/n! I’m running a bit late. Would you mind picking up some coffee and treats for everyone? I’ll send the address for the shop!” It was less of question, I realized, reading it back. More of a request or even a demand. Still, it was short and a simple task. Nothing unmanageable.

She sent the location, and only then did I fully recognize my regret. The shop was almost thirty minutes away from the arena, without traffic. Considering morning rush hour was in place, I could count on being late.

But I had agreed. The guilt of being late ate at me, but even the thought of letting everyone down was nauseating. Making my head spin and eyes water at even the slightest vision of their frowning faces and furrowed brows.

So, I got in my car, ignoring every text as I broke every law of the road to reach the coffee shop as quickly as possible. Eyes squinting at the morning sun and arms sticky from condensation.

——————————————————————————

When I arrived to the arena, it was bustling. The stage crew rushing around to find parts of equipment needed for the upcoming soundcheck, managing security debriefing down the hall for barricade procedures. The heat almost unbearable in each hallway.

It all led to the one room that everyone gathered in. A larger dressing room that was more of a living room. Colder than most of the building and more decorated too.

Laughter filtered through the cracked double doors, cold hair slipping through like a small taste of what heaven felt like in that moment. You could see everyone standing in a circle, cups of water held loosely in each one’s hand as they joked around as a tight knit group of friends would.

They must of smelled the goods, it must have wafted because without even a noise being made, Nyoh, Pauli and Mitch were looking straight at me. Smiles painted on their faces wide and welcoming, reflecting their actions as I was swarmed by every single band member at once. Hands grabbing at the donut box and tray of coffee all but ripped out of the palm of my unsteady hand.

Their gratefulness was overwhelming at first. Supplying me with that addictive euphoria I longed for with each task I put myself through. They hustled around to take a peak at what I had bought. Ready to stuff their faces with a little of each as I settled in for the day.

Silence fell over the room suddenly, a deep breath being inhaled only to be held. Almost as if someone was trying to find something to say, but had come short. Unable to figure out the right articulation of their statement.

“What, is something wrong?” I smiled sweetly, walking over to the table. Sarah shrugged, turning to me with a sweet smile, hand on my shoulder almost like it was a support for what was about to be said.

“Oh, nothing. We just don’t really like these flavors.” Nyoh shared bravely, smiling halfway, still focused on the opened and not crinkled donut box.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry guys, I wasn’t told if you guys wanted anything specific. I can run back and get some more?” Somehow, even in my greatest efforts, I still came short. Guilt eating at me that I had probably ruined their morning. Delaying their breakfast because I had to be a screw up. It made me sicker than the pit in my stomach this morning had made me.

“No, no. It’s okay. I’ll just order some online. It’ll be here quick.” My face looked just as blank as my mind was.

In that moment, I lacked all ability to respond. Thoughts running wild, much to fast to say anything except a pathetic squeak.

“Oh.” Is what I said. If I wasn’t such a coward, such a push over, a walking talking door mat, I would’ve yelled. Ripped the hair from my scalp.

“Why did you make me drive all the way there this morning if you could just order it? What about the money I spent? Are you going to pay me back or is this just another involuntary favor I’ve gone out of my way to complete?” If I was Harry, which I’m not, I would’ve said that. I would’ve yelled and cried and defended my name with all my willpower. Not letting anyone interrupt. I’d have some self respect but that wasn’t me.

I am Y/n Y/l/n. The girl who sits in the back of the stage, doing so much for so little. The girl who gives up everything for everyone because she can’t control it. Because she’s sick in the head.

So I said, “Oh.” Like an idiot. My throat dry and my eyes watery. I nodded, firm and short. Ready to make my exit.

Everyone turned back to their circle, laughing again as the order was placed. In a room full of my brothers and sisters I couldn’t help but feel out of place. Unappreciated. Suddenly, it was like my endless empathy and compassion wasn’t enough for them. It wasn’t good enough. And if that wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t good enough.

And as I disappeared behind the double doors, not a soul called back for me. A ghost to everyone. Unappreciated and unaware of the intense heartbreak I was facing.

In this moment, I believe it’s where it got bad. Worse than ever before. My brain no longer silently resisting as my entire being longed for that nod of approval and the appreciative conversations that came after it.

It continued, like this, all day. My feet padding against the pavement and onto the tiles of the hallways. Sweat sticking to my forehead and dripping down my neck. It looked in my shirt.

All day I’d been running around helping. The itch to be better, to do better overwhelming. If it was fetching a water bottle for the sound guys or searching up and down religiously for a missing headset for the lighting crew, I was first on the scene to assist in every way possible.

Each nod and smile sent my way fueling my addiction. Each action I pursued further breaking my promise to Harry more and more. I felt myself slipping away.

I just wanted to be good. Longed for it every waking minute. Like if I kept pushing, kept reaching that desired feeling, achieving each goal to make another persons life easier, I lost more and more of myself. Stress building like a ton of bricks throw on my shoulders. The weight unbearable. Heavier and heavier each minute.

Harry had finally shown up, ready to begin soundcheck. His in ears hung around his neck carelessly. White shirt stuck to his body in sweat. The words crinkled to a point where they were unrecognizable. His shorts were short and shoes light on the floor. He looked satisfied, light and well rested. The opposite of everything I felt.

“Hey, angel!” He called enthusiastically.

For the first time that day, my cheeks lifted from a genuine smile. Not one caused by a success in helping another person, or a result of devoting all my time and energy to another. But because someone who never asked anything of me and still held as much if not more appreciation for me had welcomed me into his arms without any requests.

I let myself melt into his touch, eyebrows relaxing and heartbeat slowing for the first time all day. His lips rested flat against the top of my head, arms held tight around mine, chest pressed against mine. We were a sweaty tangled mess but I couldn’t have been happier.

“Ready to do some test runs?” He questioned, moving back to brush away beads of sweat that had collected on my rosy face. I nodded eagerly, though inside I felt weary and panicked at the idea of having yet another long task to do.

Another swift peck was delivered to my forehead, Harry’s hold retreating from my body. He led the way to the stage before stopping.

“Shit, I forgot the waters. Y/n, would you mind grabbing them? I left them by the water fountain.” I nodded, blinking harshly. My feet pivoting away from him, shoulders hunched and muscles tensed.

My feet moved quick, running down the halls to find the pack of water bottles Harry had instructed me to grab.

The plastic was soon in my line of vision. Full and cool to the touch. They were heavy. Nothing I couldn’t carry normally, but the unforgiving tension within my muscles made it hard to move. Multiple times I stopped to set it down, breath jagged and heavy. Hands slipping away from the plastic cover as my palms were lathered in sweat and leaking water from inside the package.

And suddenly, the hallways that was once so short became longer and longer. A never ending straightaway that only felt hotter and hotter with each step. My mind weighed me down. Pulling me into a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. I began to believe I couldn’t do it. No, I knew I couldn’t do it.

No matter how much I wished, longed to do the only thing Harry, my best friend, my lover, had ever asked of me, I couldn’t physically continue. The bricks building finally reaching the maximum and breaking the camels back. This final request dealing my final blow. And each thought, each straining muscle crashing underneath it.

The crash was loud, when I went down. Knees hitting the floor, the sound of bones hitting concrete muffled by the squeak of water exploding throughout the thin passageway. The plastic breaking and the singular packages of the liquid bouncing around. Running off and away.

Only then did the panic reach an all time high. As if the severity of it couldn’t get worse. It did. My hands reaching out to grasp at any stray bottles. Holding them close to my chest. Keeping the few I could reach close to my body. I shook, unable to breathe suddenly.

Maybe it was the humidity, or the heat. Maybe it was another heat stroke. But no, to anyone passing by, or anyone who could have seen it from an outside perspective, it was clear that this was not the weather. This was deeper than that. This was pure panic. Something I’d buried for years all surfacing at once like a tsunami of pain washing over my lungs and drowning me in it.

A sob racked through my body, the cry escaping my clenched jaw with such force, my throat burned after. The rising nausea Id felt all morning turning out to only be a lump of anxiety that had grown ten times its size and finally escaped its cage.

Everything hurt, in that moment. My lungs on fire and my eyes crying themselves a river. The tips of my finger scratched at my throat. The only breaths that manages to get in and out being the gasps for air between each sob. I tried to grab my throat, grab my chest. Anything to make it easier to breathe. Yet, my hands were locked around the water like a vise. I couldn’t pry myself away from it if I had tried.

My head pounded, my body growing weaker, aching into less of a dull pain and more of a searing sensation pricking across my skin like pins and needles.

My ears were ringing, downing out everything other than the heaviness of my breathing and volume of my cries. So much so, I hadn’t heard the heavy footsteps rushing in my direction. I hadn’t seen Harry in a full sprint rushing to my aid.

No, in my full blown panic attack, I hadn’t even been able to process he was there with me until his fingers curled around my shoulders and his green eyes looked into mine.

I watched his mouth move rapidly, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Still unable to hear, eyes moving too fast to read his lips.

“H-Harry I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.” I all but yelled. My breathing loud, sounding of a wheeze.

Even in my state, the dining intense and my body still burning, I understood he was doing his best to calm me. Familiar with the feelings that had overtaken my body.

In the mess, he has somehow managed to rip the water from my grasp. My hands flying to his shoulders, head buried between his shoulder and neck. His shirt wet with my tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The words came out like a prayer.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t know why I was sorry. Maybe for not doing my job I promised him. Maybe for adding stress to his already full plate. Maybe it was me convincing myself I was only becoming more of an inconvenience to him. Either way, I felt him shake his head.

“Don’t say that. No, stop apologizing. Fuck, stop it.” He begged gently, hands rubbing along my spine in an attempt to soothe me.

In some ways, it worked. The ringing fading into the background and my lungs becoming a little less tender. But the burning was still there and breathing was still a struggle.

I shook my head against his skin, eyes shut in embarrassment.

“I’ll pick it all up. I’ll clean everything that spilled. I’ll-I can fix this.” I pleaded, more for myself than for him. He held me tighter.

“No. No you won’t. It’s not your problem. Y/n, stop. Stop. Please, listen to me.” He sounded more stern than calm now. A different approach being taken to get me to snap out of it.

“Y/n you did everything you could and that was more than enough. You are more than enough. Please, believe me. Please, try to understand my perspective.” By now, my eyes were dry, all my tears used up. My breathing heavy but manageable. The gasps fading into soft hitches of breath from my intense sobbing.

“You promised me, you promised that you would stop doing this. Stop overworking yourself for the benefit of others. And I believed you, but I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have because I know you. I know you better than anyone here, so I know you’ll never change.” I looked at him through my eyelashes, slouching further into myself, I sat away from him. Head pulling itself off of his shoulder to face him.

“I’m so-“ He cut me off, not wanting to hear another apology slip past my lips.

“I wish. I wish you could see what I see. How everyone else sees you. How you’re more than enough even without all these extravagant attempts to ease our stress. Y/n, you do so much more for us in one week than we could ever hope to do in one year. You put yourself last in every single situation. You’re selfless and the most empathetic person I have ever had the privilege to know. You’re brave, a-and passionate about everyone. How can you not see that? That this enough? You just being here is enough?” It was like the roles were swapped. My eyes drying while Harry’s filled with tears. Filled to the brim along his waterline. He blinked them away, my thumb quick to find the few that fell past his eyelashes and wipe it from his skin.

“I wish I could promise you that I’ll change, Harry. I wish I could tell you I’ll never do this again, but if I’m completely honest, just for a second, I can’t do that. It’s like, my brain is wired specifically to aid to everyone else’s issues. I can’t rest until I’ve done everything I can, Harry. I just can’t. And my chest hurts. It physically hurts me not being able to make everyone happy. I just feel like I’m always doing something wrong. Like I’m disappointing everyone.” I ripped myself open completely with my confession, showing a vulnerability I hadn’t even had the courage to admit six inches away from a mirror.

“I don’t expect you to change, love. I just hope that one day, you’ll be able to see what we all see. What we all recognize everyday. That you’ll figure it out.” His hands held mine. His steady hands drilling my shaky ones.

My eyebrows furrowed into a sad expression, but it was a good sad. One that needed to be expressed.

“I love you.” It was quiet, barely a whimper. My throat dry and eyes puffy. He smiled, sighing softly. Not out of irritation, but admiration. A soft smile playing on his face.

“I love you more.”

In that moment I felt less of a failure and more like a success. Like ultimately, even if I had failed myself in more ways than I could possibly count out loud, ultimately, in some odd, twisted way, I had won. Guilt continued to eat at me and my stomach would always twist at the idea of letting someone down, but it was lesser than before. Being told I was more than enough sparked something small inside of my brain. I couldn’t promise to change, I couldn’t promise to stop overthinking and pushing myself down. But I knew I could get better. I could work on it. I know that, and I’m thankful for that.

[pickles-24]

All Eyes on You (Felix)

2- Who are you?

Author's note: This is my first fic In a while please be patient. ( Daisy Lyn is the Musian name - this is not real-)

PAIRING: College Felix!! x Musician fem reader!!

GENRES: social media au, smut, fluff, angst, mystery, drama, enemies to lovers, college au, celebrity au, non-idol au

WARNINGS: cursing, slow-burn, alcohol/drug consumption, addiction, sexual jokes/ sexual content, toxic relationships, mental health disorders, trauma, mentions of abuse, offense jokes (NOT RACIST NOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT), Felix and MC have a small age gap (He's older by 2 1/2 years) THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY LINKED TO THE REAL DEALS!

SUMMARY: You're an up-and-coming musician with a decent platform. You and a Friend of Felix's get close eventually leading you to meet Him. Liking each other at first, wasn't in the cards due to several misunderstandings. Throughout the year You start gaining attention from more than just your fans. All eyes are on you.

"I.N?" You ask confused about how Jeongin turned to I.N. He nodded," Yeah, The last two letters of my first name." I.N made more sense now that he'd explained it. "That's a good nickname not gonna lie." You said as you looked at your phone. The time read 9:25, five more minutes until the orientation started. "So Y/N what's your major?" You turn back to him as you answer his question, "I'm majoring in music, but minoring in business."

"Oh that's cool, I'm actually also minoring in business, I'm majoring in Econ. "I.N. commented as he showed you his classes for the semester. He shared five classes with you. You were so relieved, "We share five classes." You said showing him your courses for the first semester. "Oh thank god, my friends and I have different majors and I was so worried," I.N. said giving you a smile. "Can we exchange numbers since we'll be seeing each other every day? If you're ok with it."

You nodded as you handed him your phone and vice versa. The audio crackled as the mic turned on. The orientation was about to start.

You look at your friends who aren’t paying any attention to the orientation and are on their phones. You were at least half listening to what was being said. You sent them a quick text to see if they were on board with the plans.

Time passed and eventually, after what seemed to be forever the orientation ended, "See y'all in a bit." I.N. waved as he left the auditorium where the orientation had just taken place. Shortly after You followed as you made your way back to the car with Soojin and Minnie. "I wanna join a sorority," Soojin said as this time she hoped in the front and Minnie took her place in the back. You gave her a strange look," And why exactly would you want to do that?"

You turned on the car and connected your phone to play some music. Minnie also confused as to why Soojin wanted to join a sorority turned to her, "Do you even know what that is?" Soojin shook her head and answered her girlfriend, "No but I do know that If I take one for the team and join we are partying always." She by Harry styles played in the background as you sigh.

Soojin wasn't necessarily a party girl or at least she wasn't like that in high school. You hoped that with her wanting to join one of the school's sororities she wouldn't regret it. As you turned to exit the campus parking lot a car came speeding by and almost caused an accident. You honked at it and the person driving flipped you off. "What a fucking cunt." You swore taking a deep breath and making your way down to the arcade.

Upon arrival, you notice the same car parked horribly, you roll your eyes as you try to find another parking spot. "You guys can go in and tell I.N I'll be right there." Your friends nod as you drop them off and look for another parking spot that wasn't right next to the ass hat that took 2 parking spots. About a minute later you found one and parked. You made your way into the arcade where spotted I.N., your friends, and some other people.

"Hey," You say approaching him, "Sorry the asshole in the blue Camero took 2 spots." You said not knowing that the owner of the car was behind you. " And who are you?" The voice said not sounding very pleased he was called an asshole. You turned around and said, "I'm Y/N, who are you?" He scoffed taking his car keys out, "I'm Felix, The asshole in the blue Camero"

taglist: @seungseung-minmin

[daaydreamy]

your mouth, my rosary

summary: is it all so wicked?

warnings: coarse language, smut, sacrilegious acts, oral (f receiving)

pairing: harry styles x fem!reader

•••

“Look at you.”

Y/N emphasized the end of each word as she looked down at Harry, no longer tall now that he was resting on his knees. She had his face in her grasp, fingers pressing into his cheeks softly as she held his head upwards, forcing him to look up at her. She had a smile playing on her lips and she let go of his jaw, toying with his lower lip for a few seconds before her fingers started trailing down to his neck, running over his clerical collar, before her hand finally found its spot against the back of his head. 

“You want this, don’t you?” She asked softly and Harry gulped dryly, glancing at where her other hand was toying with the edge of her skirt for a moment, before he eventually gave in. He nodded, darting his tongue out to wet his lips, humiliation tingling all over his body that he somehow found pleasure in. 

“Go ahead, then.” She murmured and Harry hesitated for a second before he brought both of his hands up, pushing up her skirt to pull her panties down, allowing her to step out of them once they reached her ankles. She gently guided his head closer to her, and once he got the first taste, he let his eyes fall shut while his hands held onto the softness of her thighs. Her knees were pressed against the walls of the box, too cramped to spread them wide, but it was enough. 

“Fuck.” She murmured and the back of her head made a small ‘thunk’ as she pressed it against the back wall, slipping her fingers through the soft strands of Harry’s hair to grip and tug. She moaned softly amongst his muffled ones, licking into her with as much eagerness and desperation that had mustered up inside of him, eyes closed in bliss as he indulged her. 

Heavenly sin was coated all over his tongue and he couldn’t get enough, pulling off of her every once in a while to catch his breath, before diving back into this newfound addiction he couldn’t get enough of. He felt hot, hot, hot, his mind swirling with all kinds of thoughts and sweat building up underneath his clothes. His knees were starting to feel sore from being pressed against the floor for so long, but it felt so good because it was for her. 

a/n: good god

🏷: @crow-i-guess, @planetflos, @harrycanyonmoonn, @bxtchboy69, @sweet-as-lilacs, @lyricalniall, @venusincleo (couldn’t tag you!), @bxbun111, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @emispleased, @goldenhrry, @cinnamongirlrry, @manifestrry, @sadqn1, @judesgfirl, @taylorsreputationsversion, @violetsandfluff, @phoebebridgersforqueen, @a-strange-familiar, @moonlightbea-33 (couldn’t tag you!), @famedrs-blog, @coochiesteak, @blahblahblah-888 (couldn’t tag you!), @milesisntdonewritingyet, @harrysgoth, @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite, @cinnamonlola, @youcan-nolonger-run, @velvetrylie, @vamprry, @ellie-luvsfics, @gorlsinmultifandoms, @littlenatilda, @straightontilmornin

[bellaireland1981]

1k Celebration! Summer Pool Party Playlist

Details: 

I just hit 1000 followers!!! THANK YOU!!!! This is truly mind blowing and humbling and I am eternally grateful to all of you who follow, read my stories, interact and just like to geek out over these Top Gun hotties with me! I cannot even thank you enough for all of your support and encouragement. I have met so many incredible people on Tumblr and in this fandom. I know we recently hit some dark days but even in the not so great times, it’s important to remember that there are still awesome people here and it’s not all dark days. SO…. to celebrate this milestone and to hopefully bring back some fun, happy, bright, and sunny days…. I am hosting a Summer Pool Party Writing Challenge! Let’s kick off summer with our favorite aviators! 

Rules:

You can sign up for as many Songs as you’d like! 

Message me with your song choice and who you’re writing for!- I will update the list so everyone knows what’s still available! 

18+ Only! Minors DNI

You can submit for a series, one shots, mood boards, drabbles, etc… The point is to HAVE FUN!

Must be appropriately labeled (Smut, Angst, warnings, Fluff….etc)

HAS to include SONG in some shape or form (i.e. in the title, included in the story, lyrics in the story, etc.) 

General:

Your creations are due by July 31, 2024! Tag me @bellaireland1981 and #1kPoolPartyPlaylist  in your work so that I add your link to the Challenge Page! 

Playlist: (Note: If you have another summer/pool party themed song in mind that isn’t on the list– message me! We can add it)

Walking on Sunshine- Katrina & The Waves

Margaritaville- Jimmy Buffet

Dance the Night- Dua Lipa

I Don’t Want This Night to End- Luke Bryan

Summer- Calvin Harris

Party in the USA- Miley Cyrus

I Wanna Dance With Somebody- Whitney Houston

One Margarita- Luke Bryan

Southbound- Carrie Underwood

I Ain’t Worried- OneRepublic

The Sound of Sunshine Going Down- Michael Frani and Spearhead

Made You Look- Meghan Trainer

Summer Days- Martin Garrix - ( @bellaireland1981 - Bradley x Reader)

Shut up and Dance- Walk the Moon

Summer Love- Justin Timberlake

I Was Made for Loving You- Oliver Heldens

Can’t Stop This Feeling- Justin Timberlake

Let’s Get Loud- Jennifer Lopez

Addicted to You- Shakira

1999- Prince

House Party- Sam Hunt

Hot Stuff- Donna Summer

Good Vibrations- Beach Boys

Love Shack- B52’s

Cake by the Ocean- DNCE

Sweet Home Alabama- Lynyrd Skynyrd

Dancing Queen- ABBA

Heat Waves- Glass Animals

Toes- Zac Brown Band

Summer Girls- LFO

Under the Boardwalk- The Drifters

California Gurls- Katy Perry - ( @startrekfangirl2233 Phoenix x Reader)

Kokomo- The Beach Boys

Watermelon Sugar- Harry Styles

Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift

Hot Fun in the Summertime- Sly and the Family Stone

Summertime Blues- Alan Jackson

(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay- Otis Redding

Summer in the City- The Lovin’ Spoonful

Hot in Here- Nelly

When the Sun Goes Down- Kenny Chesney and Uncle Cracker

I Don't Know About You- Chris Lane

Let's Have a Pool Party!!!!!!

[sitp-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 23

I can’t say soulmate AUs are among the things I read the most but every now and then I feel a soft yearning for that trope and I’m always open to new angsty interesting takes on it. I know this is a great comfort trope for many readers so I really wanted to do is justice at @hprecfest. I’m reccing two of my favourite authors, and I just realized that’s two Snarry recs in a row (you’d think I read this ship every other day which is def not the case as I’m very picky - I can picture Writ laughing at this 😂). Incidentally, both fics are 9k which means everyone will have two nice short treats to check before the Christmas Eve chaos. Oh, I’ve also recced a Rarry soulmate fic here, highly recommend it as well. Enjoy!

Day 23) a soulmate fic:

Drarry

swallow your words by @candybarrnerd (E, 9k)

The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They'll turn up when they want and not before. The truth is, you don't get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that.

what I really adore about this fic is that… they’re already there, right from the start. they fall for each other before Harry’s mark shows up (and of course it’s their first words to each other 🥺) and the lowkey angst comes from their sudden appearance and Draco’s not-so-receptive initial reaction to them. I say lowkey angst because the fic opens with such a gorgeous, intimate and tender lovemaking scene it’s impossible to believe they’re not already head over heels for each other - but learning that there’s someone “destined” for you out there brings implications and complications that Draco’s not yet ready to face. I love this take on the trope because that immediate panic and resistance to the whole soulmate concept is so relatable and raises a great question about predetermined x freely chosen love which I think it’s a fascinating and very mature discussion involving this trope.

Rare pair

A Universe of Searching Souls by @writcraft (Harry/Snape, E, 9k)

When the small, innocuous mark on Harry’s hip begins to cause him discomfort, he decides to go and visit the person who has a similar mark of their own. He’s fairly certain there must be some mistake, because the universe wouldn’t be daft enough to give Harry and Severus matching soul bond marks. Would it?

god help me, I’m so weak for Writ’s Snarry. this 9k fic actually feels longer thanks to the brilliant format and Harry’s compelling pov. I love the narrative style that highlights the passage of time through short (then not so short) vignettes covering Harry’s teenage and early adult years. he’s so lovely, earnest and tentative, a sharp contrast to this Snape who’s as insufferable and difficult - and therefore, perfect - as ever. I just reread this last night and am still howling at “I refuse to dismantle my wards for your stupid convenience Potter, you might as well stay the night” 😂 if you’ve read Writ’s other works you know their chemistry is deliciously addictive, charming and funny and full of blatant UST; the way Snape gets so easily undone by Harry’s eager honesty always gets me. for such a short story this is a masterclass in anticipation, and when they finally get there it’s hot af but also calm, intimate, familiar. definitely a must read!

[ichigo-sutaadyy]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Fan Fiction, or Teen Fiction? ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

☆.tw: none ☆.subject: book preference ☆.date posted: 04/06/2023 ☆.pics credit to owners

I've been in the web novel area for some time now (Wattpad addict est. 2015) and what makes me stay THIS long under the scrutiny of my beloved electronic devices, is because of my desire to keep racking through the catalogue for scrumptious pieces of anime character x reader books.

On a rainy Saturday night, a question suddenly popped into my head; what makes me prefer fan fiction over teen fiction? As I grow older and wiser (not), many would say I should've upgraded my taste in books. And I think I did? Besides web novels, I've also read a bunch of hard-copy books. But before those books, it was actually fan fiction books that helped me grow.

Living in Indonesia as a teenage girl until recently (turning 20 now), Wattpad only had been a hit among teenagers around 2019. Based on my survey, their preferred genre would be teen fiction. I read some of them in my early teenage years, both in English and Bahasa Indonesia. Though, it wasn't for long.

Soon I was drawn into the world of fan fiction, the endlessly creative AU world of Harry Styles and our dearest Y/N. I was (without a filter) introduced to many sub-genres, many writing styles, many vocabularies, and more. The authors were mighty creative with their stories and their writings really affect me until now. A dystopian-themed story of an underworld rebellious community, an ancient kingdom-themed story of y/n as the lost princess, Mafia-themed, Horror, and many else; they succeeded in quenching my thirst for an adventurous and fantastical life--a life that's impossible for me to experience. Tbh those books made me feel like I've literally lived through so many kinds of life. It felt like cheating, but it wasn't (?)

Ultimately, the stories evolved around me and my favourite person. I mean, how could I not refuse? So, my love for fan fiction continues, even as my interest changed.

Now, in my weeb era, a habit of combing through the internet for anime fan fiction that suited my taste starts. One thing that must be noted is that my previous (delusional) escapades with Mr Harry Styles gifted me a sharp eye for excellent quality, tummy-filling, finger-licking-good books that had met under my several conditions. Yes, I've officially developed a type for books.

Within the anime fandom, things got even wilder. Not tied with the laws of reality at all, anime fan fiction is able to fully explore the world beyond our imagination. The internet mostly has fan fiction of everyone; the Uchiha hotties (Madara, Itachi, Shisui, and Obito), Neji Hyuga, Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, Kuroo Tetsurou, Kenma Kozume, Toji Fushiguro, Nanami Kento, Sukuna Ryomen, Kibutsuji Muzan--I really can't mention them all because there're so many. Some follow the anime/manga's storyline, while others create a whole new universe. The authors are very unique--especially the ones that are here on Tumblr. They create visuals, themes, and even music playlists for us readers to get into the story even more. Soon Wattpad writers do the same. The stories aren't limited to a character x reader only, some authors provide an OC as the lead character. Also, it's really fun to read through the comments and interact with people that have their interests lined with yours.

Based on my readings on these web novels, fan fiction easily wins over teen fiction, because in fan fiction I feel more involved with the character I love--that I am already familiar with--in a world that had been crafted by the authors. Social interactions with people that are similar to me (hello Toji stan) are also a plus. It's just so fun to simp over a character with others. And, it's refreshing to read a book where your favourite character is out of character. It's like you're seeing a different side of them, one that you cannot see on screen.

Finally, there go my paragraphs of personal opinion about preferences over fan fiction and teen fiction. I hope it can help you readers to realize some things, or maybe just to fill up your free time. In no way am I trying to degrade teen fiction authors, or authors for other genres. My mean for writing this is to share reasons why fan fiction is more of my cup of tea, rather than teen fiction.

That is all from me. Thank you for reading my spontaneous mug of insight, and see you next time!

-Ibi.

☆.tags:

[grapejuicebratmary]

Obsession

frat!Harry Styles x reader

summary: Harry styles was my dream. now he's my addiction. I was only interested in him. but that was before. now everything is different. now it's a completely different story, where one of us ends up in a happy ending. and it doesn't seem to be me.

warnings: dirty talk, smut.

it is my first story, hope you enjoy xx

***

Harry Styles is a dream of the entire female half of school.

The most handsome boy, hottest basketball player and smart student. He is an ideal for my friends, for his friends and.. for me. I don’t know how to explain it but i’m not in love with him.

Definitely not.

I’m interested in him because he is not that type of bad boys who thinks that girls are just a whores and their bodies are only for sex.

He likes to give compliments, likes to ask where they bought their nice shirts or praise new hairstyle.

His friends are nice. They smile a lot and they like to talk with me and my friends sometimes but i’m not interested in them like i’m interested in Harry.

His soft curly hair makes you want to run your fingers through it. His green eyes make me drown in them, I just have to look at him.

He doesn't show up late for class, he doesn't act like an asshole, and he doesn't pretend.

He is a fucking sweet boy, who knows that all the girls in the school want to fuck him.

And it annoys me so bad.

Like he doesn’t do anything special, he doesn’t try to be hot but in fact he is hot, he is sexy and he is so beautiful.

It doesn’t make any sense but here we are.

Harry Styles is real and we study in the same school. It is crazy, isn’t it?

Also i’m not sure that he knows me. I’m not as popular as him, i don’t have a lot of friends and i’m not trying to be hot as hell.

My life is not a dream and it is not a movie. Harry doesn't know who I am, but I know everything about him.

I know where he lives, where he walks, the names of his mother and sister, and I know what he prefers to eat for breakfast. It is creepy, but it is just a curiosity, isn’t it?

I’m just interested in him, nothing more.

- are you okay?

I turn my head and see Taylor looking at me worriedly. Her brows are furrowed as her fingers tap the beat. She looks tense and I shrug in response. I don’t want to lie her anymore.

She doesn’t deserve it.

— Y/n?

— why shouldn't I be okay?

I smile tightly, realizing that this looks unnatural and weird. I have to smile even if I don't want to. I have to show that I'm fine. Even if I'm in complete shit.

— i don’t know. but something has changed and i feel it. you can fool me but you can't fool yourself, y/n.

She was dead serious and i was really nervous. Honestly, she doesn’t know about Harry and what i actually think about him.

And how much time i spend every day to learn something new about him.

i’m a bad friend. I know it and I'm sorry it's true. I can't tell her about Harry because she won't understand me. She'll think I'm crazy, but I'm not. She will tell me to find a more interesting thing to do, but I want something completely different.

I can say that it's not true, but I will lie to myself. I can pretend that I don't know what I really want. But i know the truth.

I want to be a part of his life.

I want to be his friend, his best friend, his close friend, his girlfriend. I want to know everything about him but i can’t do it if i mean nothing to him.

I am just Y/n and he is Harry Styles.

That’s it.

— remember you said you were friends with harry's friend?

— yeah, why?

she looked at me curiously, and I smiled triumphantly.

I think now I have a plan.