#okay bit of a ramble about this
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I want to make things right. Not just my mistakes, but my mother's. And I know that's a lot of ground to cover but I'm willing to do it.
inspo/playlist
TAGLIST: @eddysocs @ocs-supporting-ocs @foxesandmagic @veetlegeuse @decennia @hiddenqveendom @arrthurpendragon @luucypevensie @nikosasaki @noratilney @wordspin-shares @oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations @stelstellakidd @andromedalestrange @far-shore @daughter-of-melpomene @bibaybe
#ocappreciation#ocapp#fyeahdisneydescendantsocs#disney descendants oc#oc: tee wiley#okay bit of a ramble about this#i deleted all my psds on accident (idiot)#so i tried to recreate the original vibes best I could#couldn't find all the fonts though I will look for them or similar ones#couldn't find the tv cutout so there's a new one#and the old playlist template was deleted so i found a godsend that someone else made#i WILL try to find the coloring i used back then#still i hope this looks okay#i know it's been a bit of a hiatus for me editing wise#idk why the quality is such shit on some gifs and not others#i'll try better next time#ramble over
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he still dreams of you and wishes for another chance to make you his, some lines are inspired by hakujitsu by king gnu
warnings: reader is rather lively/bubbly,
notes: TYSM FOR 100 !!!, a/n (yapping) in tags
wc: 1800
Hoshina Soushirou still dreamt of you. Every once in a while, you’d come to visit him in his sleep and it would make him believe that a miracle had occurred, that he had another chance. Every time, he would tell himself that he would never let this go, that he would give it his absolute all this time.
Yet, every time, he would wake up from this dream.
And every time, he would feel his heart drop at the realization of that. He was disappointed, and he knew, but there was no reason to be. It wasn't like anything had happened between the two of you. He liked to believe there was something going on— something more than mere acquaintances or friends, but he knew there wasn't. It must've been all in his head because the last time he had heard of you was before you were moved to the first division. He hadn't heard a single word from you since then, nor has he said anything— but that was just the way it was. There was nothing to do at this point anyway.
He wasn’t with you for all that long, and it was probably just the fact that both of you joined at the same time that naturally started the first conversation. He was far more weary of everything and far less cheerful at the time, and you didn't even work with him most of the time being a researcher, but you didn’t mind that one bit. If you had something you wanted to say, you would tell him and he’d just have to listen. At first, he had no idea why you kept talking to him when he paid hardly any mind, but after a while, he found comfort in your conversations. He had started to look forward to talking to you.
It had only been a few months before the defense force noticed how spectacular your work was and quickly called you over to the first division. There wasn’t a tearful farewell, or even a casual goodbye for that matter. You disappeared along with a cheerful ‘I’ll see you around!’ while you were moving your boxes out and he would hear those words ring in his head for the years to come— in your voice. Yet, at the time, all he could do was force a smile and nod.
It had been so many years since you had moved, he didn’t even know what you looked like now. Probably still stunning. Definitely still stunning. Although he had the chance to see the 1st division officers a lot, you were a researcher who worked behind the scenes. Naturally, there was no reason he'd bump into you, and he didn’t. He never did.
He loved to remember you, but he hated to think about you. He loved to remember the way you would laugh at his silly jokes, the way you would ramble on about the work you had to do daily but would still put in your all, and the way you would always visit him with some cold tea when he trained late into the night if you were still up as well. Actually, he hated thinking about the tea— it would make him start thinking about you. He would think about how you were now, if you were still pilled with work, and if you remembered him.
If he bumped into you, would you remember his name? Maybe if he cracked a lame joke. Maybe if he gave you a few days to think about it. Maybe if he started listing the things you talked about— his most treasured memories. Maybe then you’d say his name again.
See? This is why he hated thinking about you— he had things to be doing.
It wasn't like this happened everyday and it wasn't that big of a deal. It just ruined his day a little when it did happen. So if he had to say, he hated dreaming of you.
As you took over his thoughts again, the emergency alarm started to buzz, as if to tell him to snap out of it. He was thankful, he couldn't still be daydreaming like this.
A smaller-sized identified grade kaiju had appeared near the first division quarters, so the third division was doing more backup work this time. Hoshina was taking care of the smaller kaiju in the vicinity that had spawned from the presence of the honju. It felt nice for him to be doing work, it took his mind off his ramblings and cleared his head. He wasn't too worried about the honju, however. Although it was an identified grade, it wasn't anything they hadn't dealt with before and as much as he liked to tease Narumi about how he was always better at smaller kaiju neutralization, he knew Narumi was extraordinary at what he did.
At least that would have been true for any other kaiju of that size and strength, but Narumi seemed to be struggling far more than expected with this one. From his earpiece, he heard Okonogi notify him that the 1st division was asking to send Narumi some help if possible, and he immediately rushed over.
Yet, by the time he got there, Narumi had already neutralized the kaiju in question, although horribly beat up.
“I don't need your help, Hoshina!” Narumi still managed to yell while on the floor, absolutely bleeding out.
“Oh, shut up, do you want to die?” Hoshina asked. It didn't take an expert to see that Narumi’s condition was concerning.
Narumi soon fell quiet, probably unconscious, while Hoshina found his earpiece lying on the floor near him. He picked it up, hoping it'd connect to the first division just in case they had lost connection to his vitals.
“He's unconscious right now, but he seems to still be breathing. However, he's bleeding dangerously from multiple spots. I think a few ribs might also be broken,” Hoshina said. “There aren't any kaiju nearby at the moment and I'll take care of them if any do come— bring the stretcher right away.”
He waited a moment, but there was no response from the earpiece.
“Hello?” he asked, hoping for a response. After another moment, he heard it.
“Hoshina…?”
It was you. He would still recognize your voice from anywhere. Oh, how he missed you. His eyes were wide and he had nothing to say all of a sudden. You remembered him. You recognized his voice.
You remembered his name.
“Thank you for your report, we lost connection to some of his vitals halfway through. The medics should be there in a few minutes,” you said.
“I'll stand by,” Hoshina said and kept Narumi's earpiece in his ear. He had nothing he wanted to tell you, not one thing in mind, but he wanted to be on the line with you— even in silence. The medics came in a few minutes like you had told him and took care of Narumi right away.
“They got here, he should be fine now,” Hoshina said, as if you didn't already know. He just wanted something to say to you.
“I missed working with you,” you said and he couldn't believe his ears. Perhaps he'd wake up from this dream again. Perhaps he'd open his eyes and be utterly disappointed again. But he knew there wasn't even a hint of romantic affection in your words, just the respect you've always had for the work he did, and how you missed doing this job with him. And he did too.
“Yeah, I did too,” he said. “I still do.”
You chuckled a little and he could still picture you smiling. “That made my entire year,” you said. “Probably not the time for this, but we should catch up sometime. If you don't mind, of course.”
Made your year. What did you mean by that? And If he didn't mind? Oh, you didn't know how many times he's dreamed of this day.
“I'd love to,” he said. While he was a little embarrassed to imagine the rest of the first-division team hearing this conversation, that was not going to stop him. He'd be an absolute fool to let this chance go. He has promised himself to give it his all this time.
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked quietly.
“Sorry?” you asked, hoping he'd repeat that. You heard it, but you were afraid you were so delusional you were starting to hear things. Your heartbeat quickened and you waited patiently, hoping it wasn't all in your head.
“Do you have a lover?” he asked a little more clearly, but obviously still nervous and flustered. You had never seen him like this, ever.
“No,” you replied, a little too quickly. “I do not.”
Relief washed over him and he felt his heartbeat quicken. Oh, thank goodness you didn't have access to his vitals. He was going to make you fall for him somehow.
“…do you?” you asked quietly, after a moment.
“Me?” he asked. “No, I don't.”
“I see,” you said, but he could hear the soft delight in your voice. He would never miss it.
Perhaps he'd just go for it. There was nothing for him to lose at this point, and he had made his feelings plenty obvious already. If you didn't want him, he'd just try again. He's tried countless times in his dreams already, what's a few more?
“But I'd love to be yours,” he said and heard you gasp quietly. That one he couldn't read. Was that a little too bold? Far too sudden?
“Did I hear that right?” he faintly heard you scream, asking your fellow first division coworkers. That made him laugh, you hadn't changed one bit. “I’ve loved you forever, Hoshina.”
There was absolutely no way. He was going to wake up soon, he just knew it. Well, might as well indulge in the dream for now, then.
“I've definitely loved you for longer,” he said.
“Hoshina, I'm going to kill you if this is a dream,” you said, and that caught him off guard. Yet, even that sounded nice to him, and that made him smile. He'd get to see you, at least.
But it wasn't a dream. The way your voice fluttered his heart could never be felt through a dream. The way your laugh filled his soul could not possibly make him feel so warm through a mere dream.
“I cannot wait to see you,” you said softly, your voice so full of love it made him melt.
He couldn't either, but that wasn't exactly what he had on mind this entire time.
“And I cannot wait to kiss you.”
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro x reader#hoshina soshiro#hoshina#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8 x reader#HERE IT IS#okay i really enjoyed writing this though i must be honest#i hope you enjoyed reading#THANK U SM FOR READING#truly did not mean to ramble on for this long#I ACTUALLY LIKED THIS ONE QUITE A BIT like the setting of it i might write a continuation sometime i will see#i usually always write drabbles but i start writing for hoshina and it will always hit 1k words#i truly cannot tell if the dialogue is actually sweet or i get second hand embarrassment reading it (STRONGLY LEANING TOWARDS THE LATTER)#so i will not think about that.#however i love the though of hoshina hopelessly in love for years#will always always melt my heart#stop he is SUCH A LOSERRRRRR#PEOPLE ARE LISTENING WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN PUBLIC#absolutely absolutely adore this man happy hoshina episode
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February 29- March 2 2024
The first time Sonic went Super in Road Trip wasn't exactly as stunning to Tails as other au's and stories.
Tails is like maybe 5 here (I'm not actually that organized on the timeline for this au yet, I'm getting there though, things are getting in order.) and he wasn't forced to grow up and be a hero in this au. So he's a bit more childish than canon Tails because he doesn't feel as pressured to mature and grow up fast. Plus, he genuinely thinks Sonic is going to die and this is the last time he see's him, so tears are bound to come down.
Part 1
#roadtrip!sonic au#sonic the hedgehog#super sonic#dadnic#miles tails prower#tails the fox#sonic fanart#wholesome sonic and tails wednesday#Okay- I'm gonna ramble a little bit about the dialogue and behaviors here you can skip the other tags if you're not interested#First- Sonic immediately tells Tails that he's fine first before asking if Tails is okay. This isn't Sonic putting himself first-#-but him trying to comfort Tails because even if it's cheesy- Tails will only feel okay if Sonic is okay.#Apparently it calms children down if they listen to their parents heartbeat (melts my heart when I remember that) so Sonic put-#-Tails close to him not only so he could hear that Sonic is alive- but also to try calming him down a little more.#Small thing I started incorporating way too late- Sonic will call Tails Big Guy if the kit is smaller than him and-#-Little Guy if the kit is larger than him.#Sonic changed his pattern color to be blue like Tails' eyes after he points out that they are both yellow (it's not colored here-#- but you probably remember that Super Sonic has golden fur.)#Sonic is constantly rubbing a thumb on Tails' hand as a comforting gesture.#That's my ramble- I know it's just pretty bare bone stuff that anyone reading might get but I freaking love explaining stuff (I gotta stop)
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whelp, there's a part two now
Part 1
~~~
Eddie always loved Halloween. He liked dressing up and putting on a persona, pretending to be someone else for a while.
He wasn’t expecting to have fun this year, but there was that twinge of hope again. Henderson and his friends decided they were too old to trick-or-treat, so them and some of the older teens were meeting up at Steve’s house for a party.
Honestly anything to get him out of the house had to be better than nothing, right?
Steve told Eddie he’d pick him up at 6:30, which he did. He explained in the car that the kids might get there early, and that Robin was guarding the snacks so they wouldn’t all get devoured before half the guests arrived.
Eddie watched Steve as he drove. Tried to get a read on him. Tapped his knuckles against the window, a habit he’d been told by multiple people was irritating over the years. No response. Bounced his leg a bit so his boot would tap against the floor.
Steve glanced over at a stop sign.
“You okay?”
Eddie stopped moving his leg and told him he was fine.
Eddie wondered whether he heard or saw him moving. Noted the way Steve looked directly at him while he spoke.
He wasn’t sure why Steve didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t have a lot of time to inspect Steve’s appointment summary the other day. Didn’t spot a date. It had to be pretty recent, though. He supposed it’s not like they were super close.
Parked outside his house, Steve got out and brought Eddie his chair, leading the way down a sidewalk to his back patio. The sliding back door was nearly level with the ground, though Eddie still had to move his chair over the bump backwards.
Once inside it was clear the party had already started. Loud music blasted and all the kids talked over each other. Dustin called out for him from across the room and soon Eddie was surrounded by the kids, telling him they were glad he made it to the party. If he was alone he might have cried.
It took a minute for the kids to realize he was trying to move further into the house, but eventually they moved over, and he found the table with food on it.
On the way back he lingered in the doorway as Steve stood off to the side, eyebrows furrowed. He asked a couple questions about the conversation that were lost to the teens talking over each other, if someone could repeat that or if he heard a word correctly. His hand clenched around his drink.
Maybe Eddie wasn’t the only one who felt alone in a room full of people.
Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6
#🐈 kas fic#steddie fic#steddie#pre steddie#stranger things ficlet#wheelchair user eddie munson#hoh steve harrington#i know a bit more mobility aids than hearing loss so hopefully this isn't like super off? def nervous about how that part develops but i'm#hoping that even if some details are incorrect i still capture The Themes i'm going for with disability and alienation that i don't want to#ramble on for too long about and spell out for the audience okay peace out ✌️
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I think they’re crushing on each other your honor
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#hetalia#hws#hetalia america#hetalia russia#hws america#hws russia#rusame#amerus#hetalia england#hetalia france#hws england#hws france#fruk#ukfr#hetalia x codename: kids next door#hws x cknd#hetalia au#they’re way too silly i needed to let it out okay#Alfred doesn’t wanna admit he kinda likes Ivan just a teeny weeny bit#Ivan is all over him he wants him to like him even just as friends#Francis and Arthur are totally like dating or smth but they dont know it yet#on and off relationship and they’re like barely in the 5th grade or smth dawg#they grow up to be that couple in school who’ve been dating for like years and air their laundry in the hallway#Alfred has internal homophobia he’s going thru it#WHY WAS THIS ON MATURE HELLO????#SORRY ABOUT THAT
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Actual footage of Tony trying to talk to Kelsey this episode:
Now what I personally need is for her to despise him for a while then for them to have some big heart to heart and them to become best friends OKAY I'm very invested in what's become of their dynamic and I'm all here for "Punished" Tony the wet cat that he is I yield the rest of my time thank you.
#dndads#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#tony collette#okay now to ramble in the tags LOL#Ik we're all staring at Francis rn but yeah I need to talk about how much I loved Tony and Kelsey in this one lmao#I'm a big fan of how Tony's escaping the hospital scene read like a stray cat trying to escape the pound sbshjssjsk#not intentional just how it felt to me lmao#sorry everything that happens to Tony is just funnier when you remember that he used to be a fucking cat idk#Also love that Freddie was fucking up all his rolls and Matt was making all (or almost all) of his#we love when the dice tell a narrative yes we do#Kelsey was just such a badass I support everything she does#The old lady act was so funny Hermie would have appreciated her game#ok ok just wanted to ramble a little bit lol maybe more thoughts later#dungeons and daddies#dndads s3 ep 7#kelsey grammar
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Good morning 🙏🏼
I want to thank everyone their support with reblogging my stuff over the years and reblogging some of the context of the situation.
Tumblr and Instagram is filled with the most supportive people I’ve ever had the chance of meeting. The last time something like this happened, I didn’t have much support, not even from people I thought were close to me. It took me a year or two to be okay with being perceived again in fandoms. So I’m very grateful for everything.
I just wanted to post that I appreciate all of the asks and I’ve been reading all of them. I actually get anxious I’m spamming everyone too much so I probably won’t reply to everything. Please don’t feel pressured to support me financially, there’s is a free option on patreon to follow. I’ll post future project plans and occasional updates because I still love comics and I still love DC/Marvel. I do enjoy having people following along for my art/reading journey so I would always be okay with people just following for free. My brain is telling me this post is too long now so I will go 🙏🏼😭
#my brain to me: what in the retired YouTuber ass type post.. (screams) ok#I just received a lot of anons about the situation and I wanted to clarify it’s okay!!#I know the usd conversion rate is crazy… so I’ll try to wrangle my head to post some stuff publicly. I had a friend who supported me from#brazil.. I was like what! ily but if it’s breaking bank please don’t do it!!!#I also didn’t want people sending me asks thinking I didn’t read it.. listen I’ve been a fandom lurker for a while. yes I do get sad when#people don’t reply to my asks… because I’m like I want to know your answer so bad#sorry I’m not doing a very good job replying 😔 I’ve actually never had a fandom blog of this level#I’ve never gotten more than 5 asks over the 3+ years of tumblr usage..#I’m also an ultra perfectionist where I’ll reread what I wrote 2–5 times before posting. yeah it’s a bit crazy! if you send me a list of#recommended comics before I will probably read every single one and then reply 7+ months later…#😭😭😭#let me not ramble more 👍🏼#going to go get breakfast
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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#wip#thats the only thing my brain had the capacity to produce. goodbye#okay no can i ramble about their petting habits#megatron pets optimus (the cat) aggressively but not too aggressively. like a strong pat from head to tail. once or twice. only when she#feels like it and when optimus (the cat) asks. she likes having control on the petting#orion would like to pet optimus (the cat) constantly but respects his boundaries. he does however approach him and gently pat his head and#behind his ears and his tummy. he asks first btw he holds his fist and if optimus (the cat) rubs against him then he pets#that's why megatron (the cat) Tolerates orion. he appreciates having a say in receiving pets. he doesn't want them always#sometimes gets a bit antsy while being pet and bites/scratches. which he did when megatron tried petting him Once#and thats why megatron doesn't like him which also makes megatron (the cat) dislike him too#technically megatron (the cat) is an Unnamed street cat but orion unofficially named him LOL. but for his gf megatron (the cat) is simply#The Cat. the end
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vtuber loop !!!
[reverse entry au? the reverse isekai part of it? tangentially related to this post here, and also the last part of this post too]
#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#isat spoilers#<- since blink and u miss it 2hats technically so!#reverse entry au#reverse isekai loop au#my friends and i got a bit silly last night on discord ASFSAFSA#it was going to be more normal bg... next thing i know everything become MC#it was gonna be JUST the bg at first!! but then it became the upside down slab for the table then the wood carving block then the knife LOL#also listen i may or may not have given up on liquifying the wood block#dw about it its okay its funnier this way at least to me in my heart#so uhhh yeah was thinking about this specific idea again....#at this point it might get proper integrated into the reverse entry au since it is very funny to me in particular actually#and also! minor retcon? of something ever only mentioned in tags of the prev vtuber loop post but yanno-#true ending was the final ending loop got before reverse isekai#BUT the perfect ending preceded it first and it also the forefront of their memory in their mind if that makes sense#i still think it would affect things but this way its more in line with canon since#well it makes sense to be more in line if maintaining the whole reverse isekai gimmick?? so yeah!!#okay lots of rambling over tag talk over WOOOO
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ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.
the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.
notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.
take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.
(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)
point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.
which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.
as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.
this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.
do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).
misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.
to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.
that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.
anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.
#death note#astronaut rambles#misa amane#mello#mihael keehl#mihael when he keehls you.........#damn u choc#the whole 'certified yapper' thing was kind of a joke a few posts ago fucking christ what happened to me#this ended up being about a lot more than just mello & misa oopsie#long post#had to pause in the middle of writing this cuz that ryuk/rem song is way too fucking good goddamn#...which also accidentally ended up being a couple days break. whoops#hope this one is still coherent i fear i got a bit repetitive even as the main points were quite simple =3=''#i should talk about the shinigami at some point... rem desperately needs some good meta around here aklsdfjk#sighh. all in due time#gotta post this now though so i can stop staring at it#ig it's bedtime for apples now. gotta go eepy so i can go grocery shopping tomorrow. :/#it's okay gotta feed yourself somehow#love you guys take care!!
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Pumpkin Eve
Hello! I am back again! @spotaus
Gonna be real. I wasn't sure where to write the next drabble before i remembered i wanted to do this one. (look i was in the mood for fluff and nice times and not for angst so here we are!)
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Lets go! Also i know it is obvious i take inspiration from stardew festivals over our world festivals and events sshhhh
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Cross stops the truck and Killer grins at the babybones in his arms "Ready tiny bat?"
Nightmare shoots him a glare and Killer can't help but snort as there are now two tiny grumpy faces staring at him. One from Nightmare and one from Nightmare's hoody.
Dust huffs and pokes him in his neck and Killer shoots him a look. Really hoping the slight shiver wasn't obvious. Dust just looks ar him bored in his own cheap vampire costume "Don't annoy Nightmare." and he leaves their beat up truck.
Cross makes a curious noise as he quickly turns off the engine "Dust! Don't get out of the car when the engine is still running!"
Moments later Killer's door opens and Dusty easily picks Nightmare up. Dust shoots Cross a look as he tilts his skull "You were already parked." and he walks towards the side as Horror joins him.
Killer quickly undoes his seat belt and joins the two as Cross grumbles and locks their truck.
Their little group walks towards the main road of town and quickly see pumpkins and decorations everywhere. magical candles floating and all kinds of other spooky decorations.
Nightmare looks around to glance at everything at once.
Killer grins and leans close "Having fun tiny boss?"
Ngihtmare blinks and shoots him a look before answering "Never been to... something like this..." and he goes back to looking around.
Right. BEcause while the hide out had been save it wasn't exactly the hot spot for parties and events. And Nightmare had never been invited to any event of festival before. Well! Time to make this one rock!
Killer grins and pokes the chubby little cheek "Well! Ready to have afun time!?" Even if Killer has no idea what there is to do here. He is used to just trick or treating on halloween and those memories are spotty and from a very long time ago. One that he hardly remembers or honestly doesn't even care about.
Why would he care about half forgotten memories? When he has everythign he ever wanted and could want right here with him?
Killer however is happy it doesn't seem to be a traditional Halloween. Mostly for Dusty and H. Horror must have very bitter sweet memories about all the old parties and holidays from his own universe. How stuff just wasn't celebrated anymore as the food shortage got extreme. And well, Dust is still wrecked with guilt when something reminds him. It is good that this is a different type of party! They will just have to give Nightmare other childhood traditions to enjoy here!
A glance to the side and Cross is looking around in awe as well. Crossy had grown up in pretty much a military AU or base or whatever. It is no big surprise he hardly had fun festivals to enjoy. And even if those were there he probably only guarded and worked at those.
Killer grins as he glances around. Looking for a good spot to start. He sees a lot of games and little stalls to get sweet and nice treats.
They start with a few games. Some apple bopping is one of them, though instead of apples these people use oranges. Some spooky duck fishing game. They all got a kick out of the weird bowling game with a ball with a skull on it called Skull bowling.
After that came the treats. all spooky themed and with a lot of pumpkin flavours. Killer doesn't care too much for the flavour itself but Nightmare seems to really enjoy the more autumn flavours. Which together with his love for sweets makes these snacks perfect!
Killer does see the candy apples in the distance and makes sure they don't go near there. It is about having fun and enjoying their time together.
Killer grins as he leads them to the corn maze, they go in together and easily make it out again. Horror having lead them out of course, wiht Nightmare on his shoulders looking around.
They exit the maze just in time to see Ellie and Dani walk by. the two monsters see them and grin back "Hey guys! Having fun?" Ellie grins widely.
Killer studies the two. Dani and Ellie seem to have gone for some egypt kinda thing. Killer tilts his skull "Egypt?"
Dani sighs but nods as Ellie grins proudly "Yes! Dani is as Anubis! And I am as cleopatra" she grins more "Or better said. CleHOPatra." and she shoots them finger guns.
Killer snorts and hears both Dust and Horror chuckle as well. Cross lets out a loud sigh as Nightmare pouts unamused.
Ellie giggles as Dani looks around "How are you guys liking your first festival?"
Cross smiles brightly "It is amazing!" Nightmare nods his agreement and Killer feels like his soul is being squeezed. Nightmare looks happy and content as he is held by nay of them. Cross is actually enjoying himself instead of trying to force himself to be serious all the time. Dusty is relaxed as he is near and Horror is content and feels at ease.
This is exactly how it should be!
Killer knows he should care more about all they left behind but honestly? He is a pretty selfish person. Everything in the multiverse can crash and burn for all he cares. As long as those who are his are happy he is happy.
He will eventually talk about that... squeezing feeling in his soul whenever he sees them laugh and grin. or when they touch or hug him. Eventually. When he feels a bit braver. For now he just lets himself enjoy this.
The two girls wave their own goodbyes as they rush off to enjoy their date night.
Horror looks around curiously "Where to now?"
Nightmare, who has been tranfered over to Cross, points at a building "Maybe that?"
Killer looks over but knows all of them are already going in the direction of whatever it is. As they get closer they realise it is a haunted house and they share grins.
None of them are easy to scare after all that happened and they went through. They make their way over and talk with the human and monster manning the building.
THe human frowns as they see Ngihtmare "are you four sure you want to take the tiny kiddo in? I mean. It is scary."
Nightmare huffs and pushes close to Cross. Cross just hugs him close. Killer grins "Yeah it is fine! He loves scary stuff!" maybe a bit of an exaggeration but it will work.
the people manning the stall share a look but eventually agree to let them in. On the condition that they don't let go of him.
Which, ppppfffff. As if any of them would willingly let go of Nightmare! Killer is very aware all of them are very clingy when it comes to their babybones. It is alreayd a miracle they are all willing to share tiny boss wiht each other.
They go in and the haunted house has theme rooms. All centered around certain fears or scare situation.
THe first is about canibals which Horror just huffs at with a roll of his eye. They grin with him and Horror snorts a laugh as he mutters "They are using the wrong temperature for human meat." and they laugh as they move to the next room.
Something about a stalker and some lady sitting in the living room. spooky phone calls and shadows in the fake windows. sound track of footsteps. Nice enough alright.
Dust huffs "Way to stalk badly. Announcing your presence."
Killer laughs and hangs over his shoulders, his soul and magic purring at having one of the three this close and not being pushed away as he rubs his skull againt Dust's "Not everyone can be as skilled at stalking prey Dusty~"
Dust lets out a loud sigh but only gives him a small nudge to get Killer to let go. So no actual annoyance.
There is another room about medical experimentation which Nightmare just looks displeased as he mutters about the tools being dirty. Killer nods "I know! It is going to mess with the results." which causes Dsuty to snort as he walks past.
there is another room about spiders and that is just great! they laugh and relax as they walk through and go exit the house, and enter the next area.
Killer walks into the garden only to stop and start laughing. Cross frowns at him before looking and gasping, and then quickly covers Nightmare's sockets. Nightmare pouts "Hey!"
Killer snorts and leans heavily against Horror as Horror just pats his shoulders and back. Dust hums and mutters "naked skeletons. nice."
Becuase plastic skeletons are used for decoration. Which Killer knows is a halloween thing but it ALWAYS cracks him up.
Cross huffs and mutters "it is indecent. Come Nightmare. Lets quickly go."
Nightmare mutters about it being fake and silly but he doesn't protest as he is carried out of the naked skeleton area down the path to get back at the front of the house and the start. Killer does manage to glance around and realise it is set up as a graveyard of some kind with a witch hut and everything. but there are just so many naked skeletons that he starts laughing again.
They get to the start of the house again and Cross mutters about indecent while Nightmare eats one of the many snacks they bought him. Killer knows he is still grinning and giggles every once in a while while Dust and Horror just share amused looks.
They say their goodbyes but Killer makes sure to give the two manning the house a cheeky wink as he blows them a kiss "interesting yard. Didn't realise that were your types." the two share confused looks before looking around the side. Then they both look up shocked and stutter out protests.
Killer laughs as he walks with his friends. Cross shoots him a look "Don't do that!"
Killer grins and winks at Cross "It is harmless Crossy. You know I only mean it with any of you guys~" and he winks again.
Cross has this tiny adorable blush as he mutters about Killer having to be serious before rushing to catch up with Horror.
Killer sighs but smiles. It is fine. Eventually they will realise he is being serious. for now? They are happy and Nightmare hasn't stopped purring for almost two hours now. That is what matters.
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Also also! @mikimakiboo made a very cute drabble for my series! You guys should check it out! It is very cute <3 You guys are all so talented <3
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#Horror Sans#A little drabble today which is just sweetness and fluff!#And look at Killer realising he has certain feelings <3 and how he sees them is sweet to me. he cares in his own way and it is hard for him#But he loves them <3#And the guys are enjoying the festival! They are having fun!#Not much to say about it honestly. this was just a tiny bit just for me <3#Also I am trying to figure out plot but i will get back to that eventually.#Not today obviously but eventually!#and yeah the festivals and my version of farmtale are all heavily inspired by stardew valley <3#look stardew valley is just my happy place okay? I love that game and the vibe and the community so i just push it in. <3#i am starting to ramble woops. I will go now lmao
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I think some people forget that peppino can be kind of a jerk. He's not your perfect awkward nervous guy who can do no wrong, he is not perfect, but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He has flaws, because thats a normal human thing to have.
Sometimes he gets angry and a bit mean, sometimes he takes joy in beating the shit out of the tower residents, sometimes he gets selfish or says something mean to someone. His anxiety is not his only flaw, please don't forget that. He is not a perfect sunshine boy who can do no wrong. He is not nice and friendly 100% of the time. He is a human person, he is a complex being who cannot be easily defined as completely good or completely bad.
Sometimes good people do shitty things. Sometimes a person will not act in the kindest way possible. Sometimes someone will do something not realising (or caring) how it makes others feel. Sometimes people have bad days. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes people are wrong.
Peppino is a human, he is not immune to being a jerk sometimes. Again, this doesn't make him a bad person, it just makes him human, and I don't want people to forget that and misinterpret him as being someone whos only flaw is his anxiety. Yes it is a key part of his character, but theres more to this guy than that, thats not his only flaw or imperfection or whatever you want to call it. He's not 'kind perfect guy who also has anxiety', theres more detail to who he is than that.
Peppino can be a bit mean, Peppino can be hotheaded, and you know what? Thats okay because thats what a person is like sometimes, and that is a sign of a complex and realisticly written character (even if he is a cartoon guy, his personality still feels realistic). He's not the same guy all of the time, he doesnt respond to every situation in the same way, he's not a one note character. Sometimes he sucks as a person, but its okay because despite all that, he's a loveable and endearing character, and he isn't a horrible terrible person, he just is human, and thats okay.
#okay rant over just had to get that out#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino pizza tower#pizza tower peppino#pizza rambles#I'm not implying that having anxiety or other mental illnesses is a flaw or makes you a flawed person I just couldnt think of a better word#so sorry if it comes across that way!#I dont even know if I made any sense and got my point across but hopefully I did#my guy kind of sucks and that okay because I love him#sometimes people get such heavily head canoned interpretations of someone they forget what the actual character is like#and its like yeah nothing wrong with hcs but you got to remind yourself that maybe your version of him isnt the same as he is in canon#your brain can twist a character into your idealised perfect version of them which can stray from the actual guy you started with#and you gotta remind yourself of that sometimes#of course if were talking about au peppinos than ignore all of this but if were talking about just regular guy peppino than please remember#he's a bit of jerk sometimes okay? and we love him for that
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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the way ivan was so sure of himself that till didn't care about him at all---that it's fine if he dies for him because it won't even affect him. he thinks its true enough that he feels comfortable telling sua that she's terrible and that she's going to become nothing more than mizi's trauma and yet. who is it that luka is using to get inside till's head?
what a hypocrite.
#lazer rambles#alien stage#ok maybe a little bit of yapping. just a little#im still not okay.#OUUGUSUFGHGFHGS#no bc when it showed the shot of till's eyes i was like FUCK. THE PARALLELS#do you ever think about how after round 6 till truly believed that he had lost everyone#and how after round 7 mizi truly HAS lost everyone.#bye. whatever#group suicide starts in 10 minutes
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Bloodhound in Destiny 2
#essentially the same as apex tbh#their favorite guy perishes#they still keep fighting for something apparently#maybe a bit dimmer tho i mean they don't just shut down all social interaction in apex#i guess#ramble time#i think i also made some kind of setting at the very beginning of this blog#like 10 months ago#but i think some people are still confused about them#i mean that's completely unstandable like. just. why do you put a character from one game into another#(because i can only draw bloodhound back then. quite literally)#(also for funsies lol)#gosh those 6 are all different drafts#in a day#what the hell is this#i think even after all this time i only give such privilege to houndy#okay it's not super fancy but come on#hmm i guess im tagging everyone am i not#destiny 2#cayde 6#lord shaxx#nezarec#destiny 2 art#apex legends#apex bloodhound#bloodhound#bloodhound apex#my art
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