#ok well. probably not really bc all of you are alive but like

[turtle-seance]

... the other good thing about my family not following this blog is i can also uh. say things that are not terrible jokes

[oh-no-its-bird]

Fic where, in practicing to get edo tensei right, Orochimaru uses Izuna as a test subject and tries to substitute DNA to make it work, using Suigetsu's bc like it's extra flexible or whatever bc shape change

Edo tensei mermaid Izuna locked in a tube somewhere in Oro's lab,,

He's SO mad about it and has literally no information ab what's going on at all bc hes locked in a fucking tube !!

Bonus points if Orochimaru doesn't even specifically know who he is

They unearthed him w the rest of the founders on a whim but bc no one really requested him specifically, the body just kinda sat there and eventually got mixed in w the rest of the Uchiha corpses, till Orochimaru requests an Uchiha corpse and they shrug and send him over

He still has Madara's eyes too (left alone either by oversight / or bc they decided not to pull them before he got mixed in w the other bodies, who had by then already gotten scooped of their eyes so they assumed he'd already been harvested)

Ok but like. No one even tells him what happened/where he is/that madara made the village. Why would anyone?? The only one Izuna sees regularly is Orochimaru, and he doesn't know those facts would matter??

Izuna doesn't even know what Konoha IS, he isn't gonna recognize the name

From Izuna's perspective, he died in his bed and then BOOM. Tank time.

Orochimaru might tell him it's been some years since his death (thinking he died in the massacre) and even if Izuna doesn't believe him bc like, enemy, enemy territory, he sure as fuck probably won't be thinking "Ah yes it's been decades since my death and my brother went against my dying wishes to make that village"

Tho he might get nervous and start picking up those cues when he sees the tech

Oro mentions offhand that the Uchiha were all killed and Izuna immediatley assumes the Senju won the war and loses it

He'd figure it out eventually obviously (probably after being set free, most likley by Sasuke w Suigetsu) But he'd also probably keep that to himself, bc like, enemy territory n stuff

Mermaid shapeshifter Izuna terrorizes the shinobi world,, Sasuke doesn't know what he just unleashed.

Ok actually but like. Suigetsu's shape-shifting but bc Izuna has a fire chalra nature, make it liquid fire shape-shifting. Fuckin, fire mermaid Izuna. He has an awful time retaining his form and actually for the first chunk of time, him being in that tube is genuinley just for the best. He keeps turning into liquid fire with no real solid body and can't put himself back together for hours.

Izuna hears his brother is still alive and running Akatsuki and is so down to clown till he realizes THATS NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER HOW DARE YOU USE HIS NAME

Anyways oh my god Izuna on team Taka,,

He and Sasuke would be SUCH a dynamic actually, they look alike so much?? Sasuke doesn't recognize him but he's clearly a close relation, so there's some mystery there. Sasuke is like super shaken by finding a member of his clan and Izuna, by that point aware that apparently the rest of his clan is dead, is sticking to him like GLUE. Sasuke is bitchy little brother coded and Izuna understands this is probably karma bc he is also bitchy little brother coded

They probably clash a lot, especially bc both are expecting to be in charge here, but ultimately I think they'd get along better than Sasuke does most people, and there's also that bonus vulnerability of like. Izuna is an older Uchiha boy who's trying to brother him (with a noticeably different brother-ing style to Itachi too) and Sasuke has been alone for so, so long.

Sasuke accidentally calls him nii-san then promptly has several break downs about it

Suigetsu and Izuna either get along ALARMINGLY well or they hate eachother. I think I wanna go with the first bc it sounds more fun. They couldn't talk to eachother in the tanks but they could still see eachother, so maybe they kind of developed some sort of code to communicate?

They are "cause problems on purpose" friends. They're also "wdym I can't kill him???" *looks of genuine confusion* buddies. They're giving Sasuke the biggest headache actually, someone stop them. If you leave them to "take care" of a problem, there will be carnage.

Also, like, Izuna literally has Suigetsu's DNA in him. That's a thing.

Mmm maybe some complex thoughts ab how Izuna has effectively become a bloodline thief against his will (the ULTIMATE taboo for shinobi from his era) and he's like, actually fucked up about it.

Running joke where they refer to each other as cousins, could be funny. They argue over who's the bastard child (it's Izuna obviously but he won't just take that title lying down)

Izuna is like, in his 20s, and Karin is around 16 or 17 at this time I think?? She definatley has a bit of a crush on him (which helps take the edge off Sasuke) but like, he's not acknowledging that beyond patting her on the head. She'll get over it eventually. (Sasuke hides behind Izuna when Karin is trying to flirt w him and Izuna absoloutley laughs at them both)

Izuna is actually really impressed w Karin's sensing abilities specifically. I think he'd be a bit on edge around her at first, bc Uzumaki -> Senju ally. But he'd quickly assume she's a deserter (he has no idea the Uzumaki are pretty much wiped out rip) and becomes cautiously chill after a minute or two (also when he first escapes, he REALLY doesn't have the luxury to pick and choose his allies. He's instantly attached to Sasuke and cautiously fond of Suigetsu, and Karin seems to have Sasuke's trust at least, so he'll keep an eye on it but otherwise trust Sasuke's judgment)

Izuna and Karin besties arc where they paint eachothers nails is a must. I love the take that Izuna is really into fashion n stuff and he and Karin should like, trade hair tips or smthn. Karin knows modern soap brands where as Izuna bought his soaps from clan vendors who no longer fucking exist, so like, it's definatley helpful.

Karin is the only one of them to have any real hint of where tf Izuna came from (tho even she doesn't have the full details) it'd be cool if she was the one to figure out more details ab his general mystery— maybe something about her chakra sensing gives her a hint as to how old he really is?? Or she finds the paper trail that hints towards the bodies being mixed up???? Idk but she deserves to have an "aha!" moment

Also Izuna's medical knowledge/standards are NOT up to modern and Karin is so mad about it, she's giving him hella lessons on first aid n shit and he's very, very interested in all this free medical knowledge

I know the least about Jugo so bear with me on this one pls— I think Izuna would find Jugo to be pretty fascinating as a person actually. He enjoys tentatively poking him with sticks, and comes to genuinley like him as a person (when he's calm) pretty quickly

Also cats love Izuna so he gets bonus points from Jugo bc of that, they can bond while petting Izuna's contracted cats or smthn idk

Yeah I really don't know much ab Jugo so that's all I have to offer sorry

Ok let's backtrack a bit, back to Orochimaru ->

Fun scene towards the very start of the fic, where Izuna still has no fucking clue what's going on, but recognizes Orochimaru as a member of the Orochi clan. He says as much, and Orochimaru has to pause.

No one's mentioned his clan to him in years. They haven't been relevant in Konoha since Orochimaru was born— even before that, they were barley relevant. Izuna should not know who they are.

(The only reason he does know is bc they had a neutral to positive relationship w the Uchiha back in the warring era, and Izuna had visited them once before)

Immediatley, Orochimaru is squinting at this guy. He's giving Danzo a ring asking who exactly he got sent over, but Danzo doesn't actually have anything to offer him??? The paperwork is a mess and there were a LOT of Uchiha. He's not registered as a shinobi tho.

Hmmmm.... ok.

Orochimaru is suddenly aware there's some kind of mystery here now, which is dangerous for Izuna. Izuna is, again, in enemy territory, and he's able to pick up on the fact that Orochimaru doesn't actually know who he is. This ofc means that HE sure as hell won't be telling him.

Maybe he bares his teeth and sarcastically says he's the second coming of Uchiha Madara (not even that big of a lie when u think ab it)

Pivoting time ->

Izuna is listed in the data books as like, being equally as talented as Madara and I think we should talk ab that more actually

I love Tobirama but he really did get him by surprise

Izuna just got cocky and taken by surprise!!

HE DIDNT EVEN GET COCKY HE JUST LOGICALLY DIDNT EXPECT TOBIRAMA TO FUCKING INVENT TELEPORTATION

Then he went down in the history books both in canon and out of it as the weakest of the 4, that's so tragic

Izuna gets mermaid edo tenseid and (once people know who he is) everyone is like "Ok well at least he's uhh. The weakest of the 4 right?? I mean tobirama killed him when they were like only 19/20 so we'll probably be fine???"

Then he just fucking bodies them all bc hes a nightmare actually AND on whatever special test trial edo tensei steroids they gave him

Izuna is fueled on rage and spite and he's full up on both

Imagine he gets the full story of everything that happened while he was dead too, like.

Ok so Madara goes against his EXPRESS dying wishes and makes his village. (what the fuck!!) Then backs out (yay!!) but in an awful way that effectively fucks over the entire clan for years to come (nii-san what the FUCK)

Then gets literally backstabbed by Hashirama (HE FUCKING TOLD YOU!!! WHAT DID HE FUCKING SAY!!!!!)

Then the Uchiha seem to thrive and like. Ok. He's still mad about it, but at least something... kind of nice came out of it.

THEN BOTH THE VILLAGE AND MADARA'S(?????) SCHEMES KILL THEIR ENTIRE CLAN

Izuna is SO mad at literally everyone, holy shit. The only one safe from his rage is Hikaku, god rest his poor, poor soul

Actually, I think it'd be funny if Izuna was like, indescribably extra awful mad at everyone— but then is like. Normal mad amounts at Tobirama, who was a bitch but at least didn't seem to carry on a personal fucking vendetta against the Uchiha like EVERYONE ELSE INCLUDING FUCKING MADARA FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON

Izuna is going like, "FUCK you, FUCK you, OH, EXTRA FUCK YOU—" then squints at Tobirama and goes "...fuck you." Then goes back to screaming

To be clear, Tobirama absolutely contributed to the end of the Uchiha, but like. A) it'd be funny, and B) at least his seemed slightly less on purpose than literally everyone else

There's also I think a difference of like. Izuna never expected Tobirama to suddenly turn around and be pro Uchiha

Where as everyone else (again, including his brother!!) Was like. A genuine betrayal

Tobirama fucking over the clan was never a surprise

He never pretended to be on their side (like Hashirama lowkey did)

Tobirama vs Izuna but it's them getting to relive their rivalry where as Izuna vs literally anyone else is emotionally charged as hell and filled with demented screaming

Leaving it there for now, I might actually try to write this one but who tf knows

[star-girl69]

Fade Into You

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

sypnosis: you fell first, but clarisse fell harder. requested by anonymous!

a/n: decided to feed y’all today….. two fics i’m a monster that just creates and creates. this was so funny bc i kept accidentally writing angst and i had to stop myself. they’re allowed to have crushes on each other. it’s ok. this was hard anyways i hope you all enjoy!!

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

warnings: just so cutesy, swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of blood and injury, soft clarisse i looooovvvvveeeeee you, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Your chest heaves. You’ve never ran that fast or that far before in your life. Your satyr protector runs ahead to get the healers, and you crash against some random building- a tool shed, maybe?

You groan, crouching down to clutch at your lower leg sporting a large gash running blood. You don’t remember how it happened. Maybe it was when you fell? You could have sliced it open on an unfortunately sharp stick.

You don’t even want to think about the fact that the stupid monster thing chasing you could have gotten close enough to claw at you.

“Hey, hey,” someone says, crouching down next to you. She’s wearing an orange shirt. Her hair is curly, her eyes are pretty and brown, and oxygen isn’t getting to your brain so she kind of seems like an angel. “Oh, wow,” she mutters, looking at your leg. “One second, ‘kay?”

“Wait,” you say, grabbing onto her forearm. She looks up at you.

“I’m going two steps away, dummy.” She laughs, and you’ll remember that sound for the rest of your life.

She leaves you, and you almost want to cry because you feel so alone. You’ve just been told you’re a demigod, then you were forced to run through the woods, your heart is still hammering and your leg fucking burns.

But she was right. It was only two steps, and she comes back, the door of what must be some sort of storage shutting behind her.

She leans back down and presses a towel against your gash.

You hiss.

“Sorry,”

“You’re not.” She laughs again. More beautiful music in your ears.

“I’m not,” she agrees.

You fall into silence, it’s so dark out, but you can see everything about her so clearly.

“You can stop breathing so heavily,” she whispers, the shouting of your satyr protector getting closer, along with what must be the healers. “Camp Half-Blood is surrounded by a magical barrier. You’re safe here. Well, at least, no monsters are gonna get you.

“O-okay,” you mumble. You aren’t sure if you believe her. You don’t think you believe anything anymore.

The healers push her away, you’re so so tired, and she stands up, dusting off her hands.

“Thank you, Clarisse,” one of the healers says. “We’ll take it from here.”

Clarisse.

—-

The purpose of Clarisse La Rue’s entire existence seems to be to drive you insane.

The way her arms flex when she wields her spear, the way she lifts her shirt up to dab at sweat on her brow; and the way you can see her toned stomach and the faintest hint of abs you would actually kill to touch. The way she smiles, even though it’s never really genuine, and the way she laughs when she’s making fun of someone.

She was the first person you met at camp, and you’re pretty sure she doesn’t even remember it, yet alone know your name.

It was ironic, as the daughter of Aphrodite, to be quietly pining over someone from the distance. And it sucked, but maybe you would just always have this quiet crush on Clarisse, and you learned to take it like you took your breakfast.

Until the start of this summer, when everyone came back to camp, it was alive again, and it all changed. And now you’re fucked.

—-

You smile, watching a few of the younger campers scream about how amazing the lake is. Summer’s just started. It’s so beautiful this time of year. They didn’t have as traumatic experiences as you, no monsters chased them right up to the barrier of camp. The lake is huge and so blue it seems otherworldly- probably because it is.

You slam into something.

It’s an awkward flare of limbs and muttered obscenities, but you manage to keep yourself upright by falling back into a very convenient tree.

“Sorry,” you say, looking up and expecting to make eye contact with anyone but her.

You haven’t been face to face with Clarisse in four years. You mouth snaps shut, and you’re sure you look like a terrified deer in headlights.

She’s frozen just like you.

“W-watch where you’re going,” she hisses, pushing you farther into the tree as she walks past you.

Did Clarisse just stutter?

—-

Clarisse stares at you.

You blush like you’re about to turn into a flamingo.

The cycle repeats.

—-

This year, the Ares and Aphrodite cabins were paired together to share the field for sword practice just before dinner. The sun is hidden by the trees, providing some nice shade as you frown at all the Ares kids sparring like their lives depend on it.

While Aphrodite kids are not the most naturally skilled in fighting, you’re still demigods, and you still have to know how to protect yourselves.

Matty, a Ares child and your sister Tyla’s boyfriend, already sparred three times, winning against his siblings, then sparred with Tyla once; which just ended with her getting bored after a minute and dropping her sword before jumping into his arms.

You watch random people spar. Everyone moves around you, Tyla and Matty are on top of each other next to you on the bench, everyone walks around you to collect their water bottles from the table behind you.

“Aren’t you gonna spar, Y/N?” Tyla asks, fiddling with Matty’s hands.

“No,” you laugh.

“That’s against the rules.”

You know that voice, you hear that annoyingly angelic voice in your dreams.

Clarisse sits down next to you. You can hear Tyla smiling. Only a few of your siblings who can be trusted to keep a secret know about your wretched crush. You’re probably blushing.

“Uh, what?” you say, looking in her direction but not risking actually looking at her.

“You have to spar,” she says, like it’s painfully obvious, kicking out her legs.

“I’ll do it tomorrow,” you shrug.

“Sounds like you’re scared, Y/N,” Matty muses.

You shoot him a bored look. “Sounds like you’re whipped, Matty.”

Tyla is currently in Matty’s lap, her hands in his hair.

“Oh, definitely,” he says, turning towards Tyla with a sweet smile on his face and she coos and immediately attaches her face to his.

“Oh, Gods,” you mutter, turning away from the two of them having borderline sex on the bench.

Clarisse laughs.

You clench your fist, you feel like you’re gonna explode being so close to her and not able to climb up into her lap and kiss her like a woman starved.

“You still have to spar, you know.”

“Are you going to tell on me?”

“Hm, no. I won’t have to.”

You finally look towards her, if only because you’re confused, but she’s looking straight out at the the distance, where a certain centaur is making his way to the fields-

“Oh, fuck,” you hiss, immediately jumping up and scrambling for a sword from the pile behind you.

You turn around, hoping one of your siblings is free so you can spar with them-

The sword is ripped out of your hands.

“That one sucks,” Clarisse says, simply, while you stand there with your mouth open. She rifles through the swords. “Use this one instead.”

The one she hands you does seem a lot easier to hold. Not too heavy, not too light.

How the hell could she tell which one is best for you just by looking at you?

“Matty,” Clarisse says. “Chiron’s coming.”

Tyla and Matty both hop up, giggling at they make their way towards one of the marked circles.

As you’re left there with Clarisse, it suddenly hits you that after four years of simple indifference, she’s talking to you like she knows you. Or like she wants to know you.

You like her too much to question it. You want her too much to be bothered as to why she’s giving you five minutes of her time.

Clarisse walks away. You thought it was going to happen, so your heart feels this sort of heavy that is indescribable, but she turns around.

“Are you coming?” she asks, deadpan.

“Oh. Uh, yeah,” you say, sticking your sword under your arm and cracking your knuckles. With Chiron showing up, she leads you to the marked circle all the way at the edge of the field, the start of the woods, the very last one.

She stops and turns around, this sort of nonchalant but smug look on her face. She reaches forward and bats your hands away from each other with a single swat that leaves you so shocked from the feeling of her skin on hers that your hands fall to your sides.

“Stop that. You’ll hurt ‘em.”

Here, right in front of the trees, the sun shining through the gaps shines off of Clarisse’s tan skin and her bronze armor in a way that makes her look otherworldly.

Clarisse’s that kind of pretty where you just never want to stop staring at her. The kind of pretty where you just want to fade into her and be next to her; the kind of pretty where nothing compares to her but it just watches her too.

Like the sun behind her, it isn’t jealous, it just admires her and shines off her skin.

She’s smirking at you, her knees bending into an offensive position, her spear pointing at you.

“He’s watching,” she taunts, and you’re really not in the mood for a lecture and the loss of dessert privileges, so you copy her.

“I’m not the best-”

She spins forward, spear arcing toward you. You yelp, raising your sword up to block her spear. They slam together.

“You’ll do fine,” she smiles, so smug in a way that makes you want to slap her and kiss her all at once.

“Whatever,” you mumble as she pulls back.

But you feel a little more confident with her praise, launching a surprise attack. She seems a little shocked, but she blocks it, probably a bit closer than normal.

“Feisty,” she murmurs.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

She launches her own attack, more force behind it this time, and it’s harder to stop her, but you do, you push her back.

“It means you’re exactly like I thought you were.”

You frown, because what is she even saying, but she launches another attack, smiling brightly as you block it, her eyes never leaving your form.

It’s a blurry of your heartbeat in your ears, her smile, the clash of her spear and your sword, the rest of the field coming to life with the sound of metal on metal, wins and losses.

Your arm is growing heavy.

But you keep your eyes open, blocking her attacks and waiting for an opening you’re not sure will ever come.

Finally, she reveals her side, and you swing, your sword clanging as it hits her metal armor.

She looks down at your sword and then you.

When she looks up again, it’s never the same.

—-

“Did you let me win that first day?”

You’re in the woods with her, so many months after that first day, and it all still feels like it was yesterday. You’re laying on a blanket on the soft grass, facing each other, limbs tangled together and her arm around you.

“Hm?” she says, slightly sleepy.

“When we sparred?”

“Oh,” she smiles, yawns. “Yeah, I let you win.”

You gasp and hit her arm.

“Clar, that’s, like, horrible. Our relationship was built on lies.”

You’re the only person allowed to call her that.

She frowns. “It wasn’t. What are you talking about?”

“I was gloating over you for months, and you let me-”

“Okay, but, you still won. I just helped you a bit. That’s what a good girlfriend should do.”

“You were not my girlfriend then.”

“Yeah, but you wanted me to be. For how long? Four years?”

You roll yours eyes. “You bumped into me once and then became obsessed with me.”

She smiles against you as she kisses your forehead.

“Who wouldn’t?” she snorts. “Not my fault you bumped into me in a way no one else ever has, angel.”

“My love language is just bumping into people, I think.”

“Then you can’t bump into anybody but me. Or else I’d kill them, probably.”

“A true romantic.”

She wraps her arms around you, muscles flexing as she pulls you on top of her.

“Only for you, angel,” she says, eyes falling closed again. “‘M cold, be my blanket.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be all rough and tough?”

“Can’t be with you,” she yawns. “Love you too much. Now shush. I’m gonna fall asleep.”

“You big baby,” you mumble. “Big bad Clarisse needs to fall asleep with her girlfriend and get her full eight hours or else she’ll go on a rampage.”

“Damn right.”

Clarisse is the type of pretty that just makes you wanna fade into her. And you do, in the light of the rising moon, the light of the fading sun. You fade into her.

—-

y/n when clarisse helps her on her first day: wow, an angel 😍😍

clarisse when y/n bumps into her: wow, an angel 😍😍

ALSO CLARISSE CALLING Y/N ANGEL???? I THINK I’VE FOUND MY NEW OBSESSION Y’ALL

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

ERM LIKE IMAGINE JEFF TOBY AND SLENDERMAN WITH A ZOMBIE S/O THAT'S LIKE CLINGY N STUFF AND IS A LITTLE DIMWITTED BC THEY'RE BRAIN IS LIKE GONE N STUFF BUT THEIR RLLY SWEET (platonic or romantic u can pick)

- 🧟

Summary: Jeff, Toby and Slenderman with an S/o who is a zombie. Zombie shenanigans ensue

Genre: Silly fluff

Warnings: Mentions of body parts popping off, body decaying while still being alive(ish), zombies

Credits: Jeff the killer- Creepypasta, Ticci Toby- Creepypasta, Slenderman- Creepypasta, Lacy heart divider- kodaswrld on tumblr, Lighter divider- sister-lucifer on tumblr

A/n: ok, let me first say how much i LOVE this concept!! It's so freaking epicsauce ourghhh.....also as for the relationship i did blurred lines?? Like zombie reader just is silly, creeps dont know what they're up to

Thank you so much for requesting!

Jeff The Killer

You're his favorite person in the manor (besides Ben)

Because everyone else is either stupid or weird, and that pisses him off

But you're only stupid and weird bc most of your brain is rotted out

And that's badass

You also don't talk much, so that's a big plus

You just kinda....cling

Instead of just saying "Hi Jeff!" or maybe a "omg my most favorite person in the world who is so beautiful and could rival that of jesus himself" you just kinda squeal in excitement and cling to his arm

You drool a lot, and have a bit of a biting issue

So when you cling to him he almost always also gets a mixture of slobber and blood from your previous meal on his hoodie

He's gotten used to this, so he just continues whatever he was doing while you follow him around, still clung to his arm and bent at a 90 degree angle, giggling and biting him every now and again

I think the only quirk of yours he doesn't like is when you lick him

Because it's always a big ass stripe right up his face

Have you ever smelt rotting flesh mixed with bad breath? No? He has.

You have a good reason for doing it though!

With how often his smile re-opens, you only notice the faint smell of blood

And with your seemingly never ending hunger, and way of thriving solely on instinct, you just kinda....slurp

He does NOT like that

The only creature allowed to lick him is Smile Dog, and that's because that's his son

He takes your arms away as punishment

No arms for 30 minutes >:(

Much to your dismay, because now you cant cling to him

So you make do with gnawing at him instead

Slenderman

You like to follow him around, even when he has to work

Which if you were anyone else he might be a bit annoyed

But you are harmless, and honestly what's the worst you could do?

So he allows you to stay, because it keeps you from doing something silly like losing one of your limbs in the maze like hallways of the manor

Which has happened before

it took 4 hours to find

You like to gnaw on him as well, and it is actually your main form of communication with him since he's so tall and you can't really cling to him good

You don't get bored either, i think your brain is a little bit too rotted to become bored

So a lot of times you will just wrap around his leg and gnaw at him, humming and grunting happily while he works

Every now and then he will give you a paper he doesn't need for you to chew on instead of his expensive suit

It keeps you busy for a few minutes, but nothing is better than really expensive suits

It is very quickly into your office hang outs that he begins taking your limbs from you also

Because sometimes you like to go wander

Which is fine, but those are the only limbs they have for you

So i hope you can roll around

He'd also probably be the best non-doctor creep to put your limbs back on

He has no understanding of human anatomy, but he knows that if he gets a pop its a good sign

So even though you cant understand what im saying rn bc your brain is rotted DONT LET JEFF DO IT HE WILL SNAP YOUR ARM IN HALF

Ticci Toby

Ok so we all know this guy is a nervous wreck

Well imagine that x10 around you

His main chore when he's not working is chopping firewood for the manor

Often times, doing that takes up all day so as long as you just sit there and be good, he won't have as much nerves

But we all know that the second you see a butterfly or smth, you're off chasing after it into the woods

Cut to him tying you to the nearest tree so you cant get up and run again

Which works until your arm pops off

He doesn't even notice it at first, as he was too busy chopping the wood

But the second he does notice, he screams like a little girl

"When did that happen??!?!?" he'll say worriedly as he picks it up

He knows you are a zombie, but what he doesn't know is that your limbs are able to be put back on

Cue him freaking out bc he thought he broke you or something

So he takes you to E.J, tripping over his words as he tries to explain that he has no clue what happened and how sorry he is

And E.J just....pops it right back on

"Oh." Toby mutters

The next day he decides that chopping wood is too dangerous for you, even if you aren't the one doing the chopping

So he puts all of his hoodies on you as a make-shift bubble wrap

As well as a bunch of layers of pants

And then he ties you to the tree

Which works fine!

Until you start eating dirt

"No- Hey! Don't eat that!!"

You are just happy he is showing you some attention instead of just letting you sit there all day

[omghallucinations]

enhypen jake: that's enough slices!!!

two grand trines? like. two??? you need that much ease and luck??? girl could u give some of that to jay or sunghoon or ateez mingi? just a little bit of that easy-going-ness and optimism? life's a soup and i'm a soup spoon??? and like boy oh boy that fire trine and air trine really like. envelops his scorpio sun in fire wind.

jake has Layers. the top layer is fun fun cute adorable sparkly hugs. the bottom layer is vague existential wandering and desperate need to self-soothe with attention overthinking and the idea of Romance as he's trying to find out who he really is. :)

jake:

truly unprecedented amounts of luck and charm and easy communication and things just working out for him somehow

buoyant energy intelligence warmth generosity and optimism

kind of unpredictable in his reactions and weirdly unknowable in a way bc his life is a Journey to Become His Own Person and find peace and deal w his own Stuff internally (because tbh his subconscious goes crazy)

tendency to Fall In Deep Love with people in about 30 minutes, trust them too much want to merge every aspect of life but then he'll eject himself from the relationship out of fear 1 week later (also the ejection is always something like, oh i have to go tour, or something like that, never actually jake being like "let's break up bc i'm not feeling this"--very libra mars of him, he might not even realize it is him who is orchestrating it all and just be like "oh i have such bad luck" lol)

on the contrary he has so much luck i'm a little worried that he won't ultimately face up to The Shit (a scorpio sun's calling)

let's all thank mars and saturn for saving jake's grand trines from the lazy allegations

trine town baby

ok these are our trines--those big triangles. there are grand trines because they make the whole triangle instead of part of it. the yellow is his air trine red is his fire trine.

jake came into the world with a ton of luck--access to money, access to good education, access to opportunities, super likable and charming. this does not mean he always had it easy tho his moon and sun have some pretty clear "felt rejection as a kid" aspects. but still as he grew up he could "get away" with stuff, like he may have snuck out one night or left expensive shit somewhere it could get taken, whatever, but things would always pan out for him anyway.

i see all the time like ah a trine is a "good" aspect, unlike a square which is a "bad" aspect and tbh i disagree. every aspect has pros and cons man! they also change so much depending on the planets involved! but generally...

trine pros: ease, enjoyment, ability, talent, everything flows naturally, luck, aspects of your personality and upbringing etc merge together well trine cons: can be complacent, don't really take initiative to improve beyond their natural talents without the influence of squares or other factors?, potential to ignore problems or tolerate things just bc it's easier and other things are going well for them

when mars or saturn is in a grand trine you're more likely to get shit done than if they aren't. jake's air trine is not um. complacent at all

jake's fire trine... it's very fun and adorable and full of life!!! but that's where he can let things go more than he probably should

trines can also kind of be compulsive--jake's fire trine shows his desperate DESPERATE NEED for attention and action and creativity and his air trine shows how he NEEDS to talk and communicate and learn to be alive. but because nothing is forcing him to change any unhealthy habits, he often... doesn't, lmao. he is ambitious but can be a little bit too easy-going on the day-to-day, and he doesn't always... look at his compulsions in the face?

grand fire trine: clap!! clap!!!!

jake is SO warm you can feel the warmth!! see it!! he radiates it!! a little campfire!! so sweet and charming! a fire trine in fire houses!! fire houses are about being and becoming, which as a leo rising is his whole deal!

however he does not know how to plan, look before he leaps, or actually take purposeful initiative as much as you might assume. a square is do-do-do, a fire trine is here to party and enjoy themselves.

his grand fire trine gives him this unshakable optimism about life--on a deep level jake truly feels like everything will work out. he may worry in the moment, but he is able to take these risks because he can feel the way life is pushing him forward--the forces that help him along (heyyy jupiter in the first house). he takes big risks and people might be like, wow so brave!! however he genuinely doesn't really realize something could go wrong lmao. it does not occur to him. why would something bad happen???

his fire trine does have like. almost an awkward vibe with some of the planets? all of them do not necessarily mesh. the element, they are united. the planets themselves...

jupiter: wants to fly the nest and experience life and be free

pluto: deep intense need for safety and caution, wants to dig everything up and start over, wants power to protect itself

moon: on pluto's side mostly, because she also wants emotional security in such a big way

jupiter and pluto are like "hmmmm... idk about you...." to each other, and pluto can really intensify the moon's needs. jupiter softens this a little bit and makes it more cute and fun and less AHHH I NEED ATTENTION RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DIE. CLAP!! CLAP!!!

although... that is also very much a factor. i cannot lie here. he really, really needs applause to feel emotionally safe.

here are the players:

jupiter in leo in his first house (17)--there's this really optimistic sweetness and innocence about jake and he is so fun to be around. he does have a charmingly me-me-me-ness but that honestly doesn't come from a self-centered place, he just can't help it (he has a lot of empathy too bro he just also relates things to his own experiences!). he's a leo rising with jupiter in the 1st dude what do you expect? he's a star!! he is the moment!! he can't help it that he's popular!! anyway he radiates this really pure and good-natured and generous aura

pluto in sagittarius in the 5th house (16) -- he needs attention SO BAD, dude. SO BAD. he will die if people are not paying attention to him. lack of attention genuinely feels unsafe. he needs to be creative, and perform, and express. especially with his leo rising/leo jupiter in the 1st, he probably was someone venerated (royalty??? idk) in a past life and subconsciously is like i need the same amount of attention and feedback or i do not exist. jake is awesome to work with if he's on your side. if he isn't. look out. (pluto widely conjunct his south node here also shows that the past life pull here is Strong)

moon (3) and lilith (13) in aries in the 9th house: the moon is most important because that's a real planet, followed by lilith, who is also part of the moon so. the 9th is a searching, traveling, sagittarius house--jake feels safe when he's experiencing new things, learning new things, going new places, traveling. with lilith in aries he um. maybe thinks other people are taking the lead and doesn't notice how much he is actually the one taking the lead or making things go his way? lmao?

in a trine, all the energies get each other. they have similar priorities. that vein is strong. jake wants

- to shine - excitement - to Find Himself and Express Himself - he does not want to think about consequences or anything too heavy

the more exact an aspect, the stronger it gets, so jupiter/pluto is extra strong. they may not totally see eye-to-eye but they both know they want/need more and they want/need attention and creative control. jake has so much creative energy and interest and ability at his fingertips all the time and with jupiter involved, it can really have a big impact.

air grand trine: knows a little (a medium) about a lot

a fire trine in fire houses and an air trine possibly in air houses are u kidding me.

jake loves learning, but in a very chill way. he doesn't feel like he has to compete all the time, this is not compensation, he just naturally gets things and is interested in things. he feels super confident and comfortable in learning situations and environments, he feels very comfy communicating, he's super curious, he likes chatty and stimulating environments. he probably did well in school without much angst about it.

the air element is very bounce bounce bounce very fun fun fun but the planets in jake's air grand trine are.... not very bounce bounce bounce not very fun fun fun :(

mars (medium fun fun fun)

uranus (... depends on ur idea of fun fun fun)

saturn (not fun fun fun at all)

mars is in detriment in libra (passy aggy libra is not aggy aggy mars's comfortable vibe)

saturn is in its fall in gemini (saturn wants everyone to grow up and make good choices and gemini... does not... want that... .... )

uranus is at home in aquarius so she's chillin.

libra aquarius and gemini are all vibing like crazy. the planets... are... um... well they are all very a Lot.

their conversation is more like

libra mars in the 3rd: the best way to survive and thrive is to make sure everyone is having a good time, man. keep the peace. keep it chill. keep it fun keep it flirty. if i want a fight i'm going to provoke you into it and then i'll be like omg why would you fight me, now i have no choice but to end u, omg

aquarius uranus in the 7th: where is my weird significant other i ghosted the other day it's back on baby (all relationships are full of change but also the way i'm learning about myself too!! let's get super deep and then never talk to each other again!! or maybe we will?? i am super comfortable with the way things change idk! change is part of life!!) OR aquarius uranus in the 8th: hahahahahahaha i try to control my emotionally compulsive tendencies and sate them by acquiring weird power and exploring weird shit but somehow they always come roaring back hahahaha maybe it'll work this time tho

saturn gemini in the 11th: i want to be friends with everybody but also keep to myself COMPLETELY. i wanna chitty chatty everywhere and also.... only talk to people i work with? i have six friends and that is enough for me man. also i feel like... existential... ? i have so many Thoughts and Philosophies? i feel paralyzed by The Ideas and Science of Humanity sometimes??? or saturn in gemini in the 12th: ... hahah.... ... ever feel... some kind of unsubstantiated judgement from the like... universe?? haha... i am so overwhelmed by the concept of saturn (maturation, judgement, work, etc) it's like a gaping hole ha ha??? i mean on the bright side i can really make my imaginative and interesting ideas reality and have them relate to humanity tho bro

basically jake has an incredible talent for air sign stuff but um. uranus and saturn are like... ever heard of intellectualizing ur emotions? ever feel... a void? you might want to fill by exploring your own psyche and being of service to others?

mars bequeaths Action and Energy on his trine-mates, so jake has a real ability to Work Work Work, and break the mould but in a harmonious way, a way that doesn't freak people out. uranus is also a very Thinky Thinky planet so it's also action and intellect, handshake emoji.

some tremendous gifts!!! now let's look at some... . other things...

4th house placements: hello it's me, ghosts from your unconscious

here's what we know about jake's possible subconscious Stuff so far

sort of a past life royalty thing, there's a sense of needing special treatment in some ways bc that's normal to him

needs to perform or he feels he will die

Over-intellectualize, Profit

puts up this situations that he doesn't love bc everything else is going well for him and he's like, this is fine

4th house and scorpio are both very karmic bro. it's like, any signature here means you are gonna spend time Finding Yourself and Dismantling Subconscious Complexes. scorpio is constantly like, omg should i break from the chains of my past and transform??? no no no instead I should cling to the bones of my compulsive desires. wait unless...

water houses are like "i am full of memory... of the emotional ghosts of the past!" anyone with these placements is gonna have to do some exorcisms of the subconscious and jake is one of these!

his chart ruler the sun conjunct mercury is in scorpio in the 4th house, as is his venus at 0 degrees (more later)--he has a real deep deep yearning for safety and security and nurturing. he needs to be nurtured and to nurture. he also um. he needs to detach himself from the things he like unthinkingly accepts that he learned from his family. on some level he truly is struggling for recognition and acceptance--but tbh this is mostly his own stuff he'll have to untangle bc people really like him. this will all get easier when he's older.

it Loooooks like... his family really prioritized things looking nice and looking good and not um... emotional... nurturing? or parts of his upbringing were good and positive, but he did feel some kind of rejection from his parental figures (sun square uranus and jupiter/moon square chiron and saturn) that has led to some emotional rigidity/fear (moon aspects) and ummMM recklessness??? (sun aspects).

scorpio venus at 0°: uh oh i am also retrograde and in detriment do you want to get married

normally a planet at 0° explodes the sign energy in a very obvious way, but venus is (a) retrograde and (b) in detriment in scorpio so that's not exactly how it manifests. we're boosting venus the planet and some parts of scorpio, baby, including the ability to radiate sexuality! we're boosting Making Mistakes and taking A While to get things right!!

he probably struggles in relationships a bit right now. with his 7th house aquarius uranus and neptune he likely has no idea what he really wants at this point in his life--neptune, also opposite his ascendant, keeps things really foggy--and feels an intense need to get oUUTTT when he feels trapped. he has a lot of positive indicators for a stable relationship later in life but he really is gonna have to sort through those intense unconscious things before he can really be truly open with someone else.

neptune conjunct his descendant and his 0° scorpio venus show this intense romanticism that doesn't always like... align with reality. aquarius neptune loves the idea of people/a relationship--and scorpio venus loves the kdrama of a relationship. i miss fighting and kissing in the rain ass. his scorpio venus wants to merge deeply with another and his neptune conjunct descendant does not... do... boundaries... at all. so this can be a problem.

hahaha jake do you find the love of your life on instagram twice a month and then not say or do a single thing and then see something in their story that makes you be like "nah" as a defense mechanism? bud.

libra mars conjunct IC: angy but so buried nobody knows

mars conjunct IC (the line on the bottom of the MC) is already like "lots of anger, HIDES IT FROM EVERYONE" and libra mars is that x a million. libra is such a hilarious sign bro. "ladies do not start fights but they can finish them" but also ladies do not start fights overtly, they just set up the dominos in such a way their chosen opponent will start the fight themselves. with mars in the 3rd it's super gemini super fun also, libra in a gemini house, very chatty very communication. less dark than mars in the 4th lmao.

your IC is at the bottom of your chart--so people don't see this about him and jake does not value this about himself, but jake can tap into mars (and his air grand trine also) as foundation or fuel.

jake has this incredibly boiling reserve of energy and life force and anger--

in libra it could be anger at injustice

and/or passy aggy kind of anger from repressing his own needs and letting people walk over him sometimes

and/or sometimes it's also about a family situation, his 3rd house shows a super mentally active family environment and libra IC/scorpio 4th shows that maybe some things were not... spoken about....

either way jake has insane amounts of willpower lowkey--even if he lets a lot of things go day-to-day, ultimately he's gonna get what he wants (but in a cutesy and demure way so it doesn't look like jake is pushing for it).

because mars is in detriment in libra, this foundation can feel really confusing and weird. jake probably seems really excessively tolerant of everything even if he's actually not and he really wants things to be fair and gets pissy if they aren't.

round up!!

for his big players...

jake is a jupiter lad bro. jupiter loves this kid

sun!! his chart ruler and his deepest self. i feel like repressing your sun makes the sun more powerful lmao and players #3 and #4 really are doing their best to hide her

fire trine (pluto/moon/jupiter)

air trine (mars/uranus/saturn)

mars conjunct ic oof

whatever the hell is up with neptune and venus

u know i was more worried about him avoiding his scorpionic Issues when i first looked at his chart, but now i'm like... yeah life is gonna bring those issues to you to deal with babe don't worry.

but aww this kid is so cute dude. don't get me wrong he has a lot of past life baggage and shit but he's genuinely a cutie. snaps for jake, everybody.

[pxtched]

ok so this head has been rotting in my head and i think its time to let it free.

so pirate!miguel stumbles on siren!reader's territory by accident bc his ship got wrecked and he was sorta the only left of his crew (u can change that if u want ofc) and siren!reader saves him cus she wants to know if any other man is gonna come so she can prepare herself for a future attack. he wakes up by mouth to mouth but he doesnt realise until siren!reader herself says something about it. the rest you can decide.

i love ur fics sm! stay hydrated!<33

𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞

╰ Pirate!miguel x Fem!siren!reader.

╰ angst, death, slowly gaining trust then immediate betrayal, (not really…)

AN: this is so short I’m SO SORRY, thank you for letting it free!! Thank you for requesting and hope this is to your liking!

Miguel ohara.

That was a name that was well known, feared, and one of the strongest captains and have one of the most strongest crew in the sea. Get attacked by him? You’re dead, you aren’t making it out alive.

He’s listening to his crew mate talks about sirens, saying how they are worth a lot and they should go hunting for one! Miguel instantly rejected the idea, saying it’s a waste of time.

Miguel never really believed in sirens, he thought it was some tale to scare kids and to make pirates like him search endlessly for them.

“Awh c’mon!” “No Peter, It’s just a waste of time and resources.” “You are like probably the only captain that dosent believe in sirens” “Because I’m not stupid.”

He remembers helping another crew hunt a siren but never even saw it, nor heard it. Miguel scoffed at the fact he wasted his time helping someone hunt for something that probably wasn’t even real.

But now? He believes, he saw one. He even looked at one. Talked to one.

Miguel felt like he had a fever dream, he doesn’t know how to put it into words that what happened in that day was real and not some random dream.

He’s not even on his ship anymore, not his crew, just some random people. He dosent know what happened to his crew mates but just assumed the worst.

It happened so suddenly, He was sailing on the ocean on his ship with his crew mates. Laughing and just having fun. When he least expected it, the tides got rough, the waves got higher and it was stormy too.

The last thing he saw before passing out was a massive wave, All he remembers is feeling the impact and then black.

His ship wrecked god knows where, His crew mates most likely dead sinking down in the same ocean but different area than Miguel. Miguel was drowning alone.

Until you saw him, You noticed him sinking down. Your first thought was free food but then you realized who he is. He’s a pirate. The same ones who try’s to hunt your kind. You scowl at this discovery but you soon realized he’s alone, his ship is gone too.

You could get information if there’s any attacks coming, their weaknesses and then kill him.

So, you save him. Grabbing his body, stopping him from dying and throwing him on the shore. you look at his body, you recognize that symbol that’s on his chest...your eyes widened, you grit your teeth as the grip on him tightened.

This was the Captain that helped that crew hunt your kind. Yeah, you are going to kill this man afterwards.

You give him CPR, isn’t working. So you give him mouth to mouth. Soon enough he’s awake sitting up immediately, coughing up some water. He looks at you, looks around. He’s at some random island as some lady saved him.

“What do you want from me? Is there anyone else coming? Is there going to be future attacks I don’t know about?” You immediately question him.

He looks at you once again in confusion and opens his mouth to answer but his mouth closed then his jaw went slack as his eyes widened in horror as he realizes that you aren’t a human but a siren.

He frantically searches for his cutlass but you hold it in front of him “looking for this?” You say as you toss it in the water. He looks at it sink I the water then looks back at you in fear but regain his composure.

“I don’t mean any harm, I didn’t even know—“ you scoffed, not believing his words “Oh cut the bullshit, answer my questions now.” You demanded him.

You get closer to him narrowing your eyes at him as he backs up “Is there going to be any men attacking me? Is there going to be people trying to hunt me down?” You questioned him once again.

“I’m being truthful, I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything about people looking for you. I don’t mean harm, You can see that my crew mates are not here most likely dead. My ship is wrecked. So please trust me.” He pleads, you glare at him and backed off.

“Why would i ever believe a pirate Like you?” You sneered at him, and he sighed “Please, I’m alone. You have my word.” He pleads once again. You look at him trying to see if he’s trying to trick you but you don’t see any malice in his eyes.

You decided to trust him, you felt bad for him. And you especially know how it is to be alone so, you just nodded and point your head to the island “There’s some food there, You Can stay” you tell him and you swam away in the water.

He smiled and began to explore the island, trying to see what he can work with for the time being. He can deal with this, He is a bit shaken up that he just talked to a siren.

As time went by, you guys respected your guys space. Staying away from eachother…which was actually you avoiding him because you still hated him.

But after a couple of days, you talked to him more. Making short and awkward small talks but it’s something!

Now Miguel sits at the shore, looking at the water as he searches for you. He notices your eyes staring at him back and he’s a bit startled but he offers his hand to you, you swim up to him and take his hand.

“Yes?” You say, tilting your head. He smiled at you and puts an apple in your hand “Here, I don’t really know what you eat and i don’t want you to still hate me” you eyes widened at his kindness.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a bit “you don’t do your research?” You say as you take a bite of the apple, usually you’ll just eat whatever is in the sea or sailors but sometimes an apple wouldn’t hurt.

He shakes his head “No, I don’t focus on stuff like that. I just focus on where I’m going, why, and the safety.” He admits honestly, you raise and eyebrow at him being a bit skeptical of him.

“You were there helping another pirate hunt my kind” you pointed out and he sighed “you think I wanted too? It was a waste of my time and my resources. Even after that I didn’t believe”

You smile. Maybe he isn’t half bad “Realized I never got your name, What is your name?” You asked him.

He smiles, knowing he’s getting on good terms with you “Miguel, Miguel ohara” and he offered you a handshake, you give him a handshake.

“you aren’t that bad Miguel, I thought you were going to kill me or send men my way” you joked and he shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t either way, why would i crash my ship risk my teammates life and my own! just for a chance to get you?” He asks and you thought about it. Huh, he was right. “Dunno, people are desperate.” You shrugged and he laughed.

“True, true. I see pirates fight all the time and I don’t get why!” He says while eating some berrys, You didn’t even notice but he was halfway in the water. “So, how’s the pirate life been?” You asked him.

“It’s…Something alright, it’s always shocking something. Everyday is an adventure and I…had my crew mates with me, it was fun and I miss it. I miss their laughter, and…everything.” he tells you. His shoulders dropped as he has a frown on his face.

You feel bad for him, you understand how that feels to be left alone. To miss home, to miss everyone and everything.

You put a hand on his shoulder and then loved it up to his cheek for him to look at you.

“Hey, It’s okay. I understand where your coming from. Trust me, I know how it feels to be alone. I didn’t live here always, I was with my family, my friends but then…they came. I seen all of my family die in front of my eyes.” You looked away, You didn’t like going back to this memory but you told him anyways.

“I tried to stop them but 3 ships was there. I couldn’t do anything, so I swam away as fast as I can. And that’s how I got here” you confessed to him.

It was silence for a few moments but then he apologized “I’m sorry that happened, but hey! You got me now” he says with a smile, picking the mood back up. you laughed, You Can Finally trust him.

But that thought quickly goes away, you hear the familiar sounds of a pirate ship. Your smile dropped. There was multiple, he lied to you.

His eyes widened in horror as your widened as well. You back away from him, looking at him with disgust and betrayal. You turn around to the ships and you noticed that they are aiming their pistols at you, their cannons as well.

He desperately pleads that he didn’t do this, that he didn’t know but you glared at him. You’re in disbelief that you actually gave him the benefit of the doubt and trust him.

As much as you want to attack him, You safety matters first. So you swim away deep in the water as Miguel watches, as he hears his name being called from the people above.

A/N2: im so sorry this took so long

[conanssummerchild]

ive dipped my toes into a little bit of unserious fic writing for rnm and i felt it was about time i dropped an autistic rick fic 🫡

ive had this idea circling around in my head for a while but i wasn't really sure what direction the fic would go in but ive decided to go for some good old internalised ableism (me writing angst? shocking /sarc) bcs rick never seems to see his autism as a disadvantage which is super slay BUT there is also a lot of difficult things to deal with being autistic and you know that old fucker hates admitting he needs help with anything so im gonna fucking force him to >:) this is set in like maybe season 2 or early season 3 btw just to make rick even less inclined to admit he needs any help !!

ok enough yapping, here we gooo

~~~

It was awfully quiet in the house for a Saturday afternoon. Usually by now Rick would've come barging into the living room, demanding Morty come with him and tugging him through a portal without waiting for an affirmative answer, always at least a little drunk on whatever he could get his hands on.

Today there was none of that, only fragrant smells of whatever dinner Jerry was cooking coming from the kitchen, juxtaposed with the harsh screaming match going on between him and Beth. Summer was scrolling on her phone absently next to Morty on the sofa as he pretended to watch some film that Jerry insisted was a masterpiece on non-interdimensional TV.

Overall, it was a normal night at the Smith's house from before Rick had come into their lives, but Morty wasn't relaxed like he would've been before, or even upset over having to listen to his parents' petty argument. No, he was ansty, fidgeting around enough to earn several annoyed glances from Summer.

He combed back through his memories, doubting whether he'd seen Rick today at all. He hadn't been at lunch or breakfast, in fact Morty hadn't seen him at all since their brief adventure yesterday, during which Rick had been in an increasingly foul mood. Had no one else even noticed his disappearance?

"I'm gonna check on Rick." He blurted out, stumbling off the sofa.

Summer didn't even spare him a glance.

He tried not to run down the hallway, nervous jitters going through his whole body. What if he had left again? No, probably not, Morty had seen his ship in the driveway. Shit– Rick had thousands of enemies, what if he was lying dead in his room right now?

Morty knocked on Rick's door so hard his knuckles stung a little, ignoring the small buzzing sound that accompanied the knocks. He heard a groan akin to one of a dying man and some shuffling from inside the room.

"Rick?" Morty called out to no answer, anxiety only rising.

He shifted nervously from foot to foot. If he just barged into Rick's room and he was fine Rick would be super pissed, but if he didn't and Rick was dying Morty would never forgive himself.

He shoved the door open. It didn't have a lock anymore. Morty held his breath as his eyes darted around the room, he feared it would look like a crime scene, but it looked... normal. He hadn't been in Rick's room that many times but, despite the darkness and slight mess, nothing seemed particularly out of place.

Well, that was, of course, apart from the translucent green force field type thing in front of the door.

He frowned, calling Rick's name again, but he was lying in his cot, facing the wall, unresponsive. Not even seeming like he'd heard Morty, the rise and fall of his tense shoulders the only thing showing he was still alive.

Morty chanced a careful touch to the force field, preparing for some kind of electric shock, but none came, only a quiet hum was emmited as Morty's fingers passed through. Rick moved again slightly, but other than that showed no visible reaction.

The field gave way easily and Morty passed though completely, standing meekly at the doorway of Rick's room. He was surprised to find that it was silent, like completely. No sound passed through the green barrier, not the sounds of sizzling pans, or the movie playing faintly in the background. Nothing.

"Rick? A-are you okay?" It wasn't said particularly loudly, but it felt that way in the complete silence.

No answer. He took a step closer, repeating himself louder, in case Rick just hadn't heard. "Rick? W-what's– is everything good?"

He expected anything, from Rick yelling at him to the person in the bed just being an alien wearing Rick's face, not even Rick himself.

He didn't expect Rick to cover his ears and curl into himself further.

"Uh-" Morty hesitated. His head hurt? Was he, like, hungover? Dying?

He only paused for a second more before turning and running out of the room, if something really was greviously wrong with Rick he would much rather be safe than sorry.

"Mom!" He called, running into the kitchen, interrupting the argument going on abruptly.

Beth downed a large sip of her wine glass, emptying it and setting it down on the counter with a sharp clink.

"Morty, honey, the adults are talking right now." She said, rubbing her temples tiredly.

"Mom, something's w-w-wrong with Rick."

"What?" That got Beth's attention, straightening from where she was topping off her wine once more. "What's wrong with Rick?"

"I don't know." Morty replied, agitated. "He's in his room just– just lying there, he's not answering me."

Beth was already heading in the direction of his room—not without grabbing her wine. "Come on, sweetie." She said to Morty.

"Wha- Beth, come on! We were having a conversation here!" Jerry exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I have more important things to deal with right now, Jerry." She said coldly.

Jerry's complaints were drowned out by Morty's rushing thoughts as he led Beth down the hall.

She peeked into the dark room without passing the noise-cancelling field, expression changing when she saw Rick curled into a ball, hands still clamped over his ears. While her frown stayed, a sort of realisation flashed in her eyes.

"Um, I think your grandpa just needs a little bit of alone time right now, okay? Let's give him some space." She said, taking a step back and closing the door gently.

"What? Why?"

"He just... Well, honestly, I don't know. I just vaguely remember he would get like this sometimes when I was a kid, when he was stressed. Mom always told me to just leave him alone for a while. I thought he'd probably grown out of it, like it was a midlife crisis thing or whatever. Guess not." She gave a small shrug.

That didn't really answer any of Morty's questions and raised several more, but Beth didn't seem to have the answers.

"Okay."

"Okay." Beth echoed, taking a swig of wine, her demeanour changing back to a bored one. "Well, I gotta go deal with Jerry now, go play video games, or something."

For the rest of that day, and then one more after that, Morty waited anxiously for Rick to emerge from his room. He felt like he was losing his mind, all while everyone else didn't even seem to care that Rick was gone at all.

He was picking at his pancakes uninterestedly when he finally caught a glimpse of blue hair in the hallway.

"Rick!" He exclaimed, making the old man nearly jump out of his skin.

"Jesus fucking christ, M-Morty." He muttered, grabbing some orange juice from the fridge and downing it straight from the carton.

"What happened?" Morty asked, getting up from the table and hovering by Rick. No one told him off for leaving the table. He could tell that they were all listening in on the conversation.

"What happened when?" Rick asked dismissively, playing dumb. He rummaged around in the overhead cupboard until he found an opened box of wafers. "What– who the fuck opened my wafers?"

Morty rolled his eyes. "You did, last week."

"Oh yeah." Rick shoved a wafer in his mouth.

"Rick, come on, seriously, I was worried."

"Well then maybe you should mind your own business, Morty."

Morty huffed. "What so you'd prefer I didn't care about you at all?"

"Yes. Obviously. Why does that surprise you? I've clearly stated it on multiple occasions."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I do care about you, Rick. I just want to make sure you're okay, because it seemed like you weren't" Morty said earnestly.

"Ugh, I'm fine, Morty." He scowled. "Don't be so– so weird about it."

"I'm weird?! Y-you're the weird one, Rick! Wh-what the hell is wrong with you? You just dissapear for– for two days and won't even tell me why? Can you give half a shit about anyone but yourself?"

"Jesus, I was overstimulated! O-okay? I'm autistic! Is that what you want to hear? You– you fucking dick."

Morty shook his head lightly, processing the stream of information "...What?"

"What? You can't be autistic." Jerry chimed in from the dining room.

"Okay, Jerry, and you won't be alive when I stuff your tiny dick in your mouth and freeze you, so we can put you on the mantle like some kind of fucked up decoration with your balls hanging out. Wait, actually, you will be alive. You'll feel the whole thing. Suuuper painful."

Rick snatched up Morty's virtually untouched stack of pancakes and sauntered out.

A quiet washed over the table, Morty looking over at Beth and seeing that she seemed just as surprised as him.

"What, you guys seriously didn't know?" Summer's bored voice broke through the silence.

"Y- you did?" Morty asked incredulously.

"Uh, duhh, Morty. It's like super obvious?" Summer drawled, not even looking up from whoever she was texting on her phone.

"How is it obvious?!"

"Becuase, Morty, I'm not uneducated like all of you guys."

"What? Wh-whatever, I'm just– I'm gonna go talk to him."

Summer didn't grace him with a response.

Morty peered into Rick's room but he wasn't there, so he wandered towards the garage. As he approached, he could already hear the sounds of Rick tinkering with something or other.

"H-hey, Rick." He said carefully, but Rick didn't seem particularly upset, offering Morty a small grunt in greeting.

"S-sorry I said there was something wrong with you." Morty added.

Rick looked up this time, quirking an eyebrow at him. "Okay?"

He went back to his project for a bit, but when Morty still didn't leave after several minutes he sighed, setting his wrench down harshly next to Morty's now half-eaten pancakes. "Yes, Morty?" He asked, irritated.

"I-I just... You could've told me, you know? That you're autistic. I'm not– you don't have to be, like... ashamed."

"Screw you, I'm not ashamed." Rick snapped. "L-look at me Morty, do you know how smart I am? You think any fucking neurotypical could ever reach my level of genius? Fuck no!"

He crossed his arms like a petulant child, pouting at the floor.

"Oh– Sorry." Morty stuttered. "I just thought..."

"What? That just because I'm autistic I have to be ashamed? Pretty ableist stuff there, Morty." Rick said sharply.

"No! Jeez, That's not– not what I meant, Rick. Jeez... I was gonna ask why you never t-talk about it, then?"

"Becuase it's none of y-your damn business, that's why."

"But– I mean, sure, but not even my mom knew. Did... did your wife? Did she know?"

Rick's shoulders tensed and he looked away, his loose grip on the table becoming harsher.

"R-rick?"

"She... knew." He said tightly.

"Did anyone else?" Morty made his tone a little gentler, seeing Rick wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about it.

"...Birdperson. And Squanchy."

"That's– no one else?"

Rick frowned. "My parents knew. But they didn't like it... Diane– my wife she was the first person I chose to tell myself."

"I'm sorry." Morty said quietly. "About your parents and... Diane."

Rick sat silently, staring at the work bench in front of him without saying a word.

"Is that... why you guys divorced, or?"

"No, Morty, jesus." Rick huffed. "She was actually the only one that didn't treat me like less than because of it. I mean, until BP and Squanch."

"So why–?"

"I don't want to talk about my failed marriage, M-morty." Rick sighed.

"...Sorry."

Rick shrugged.

Silence stretched on as Rick went back to his project again, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either.

"It's embarrasing. Sometimes." Rick said haltingly. "When I get overstimulated. Becuase I know that doesn't happen to normal people and I don't like admitting I need help with things that other people don't. It's a sign of weakness."

"That's not–!"

"Shut the fuck up, Morty. This isn't a discussion, you got what you wanted out of me, so now you can fuck off."

"But, Rick you–"

"Morty, just fuck the fuck off."

Morty hesitated for a second, before lunging towards Rick and trapping him in a tight hug. Rick tensed up.

"Morty, you little shit, get off me!" Rick wriggled, trying to get out of Morty's embrace.

"I love you, grandpa. Thank you for opening up to me, I know it's hard for you." Morty whispered, which only made Rick thrash around harder. "I don't think you're weak, by the way. Or that there's anything wrong with you."

Morty finally pulled away from the hug and Rick crossed his arms again, his face now a little flushed in embarrasment.

"Don't do that again, you asshole." He grumbled. "I don't like it when you hug me."

"Sorry." Morty said, mostly meaning it. "Hugs always make me feel a lot better."

"Well I'm not you, Morty, and they m-m-make me uncomfortable."

"Sorry." He repeated. "But I-I still mean everything I said."

Rick pouted, turning away. Morty knew Rick was stubborn, and that he wasn't going to erase years of self-hatred and internalised ableism in a few minutes, but he hoped that one day Rick let him in enough to at least try.

"Okay, bye grandpa. Love you."

"Bye, asshole." Rick muttered back.

Love you too he thought, but didn't say.

+ extra

Rick had been in a shitty mood all day, and Morty could tell something was brewing under the surface, but he couldn't tell what until they were already on their way back home from grabbing some crystals from some drug planet Rick stole from all the time.

Usually Rick would be in high spirits after another succesful crystal-stealing mission, but today he just glared through the windshield, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Morty could tell that, despite his intense stare, he wasn't really paying too much attention, so it wasn't a huge shock when an large asteroid chunk flew into their field of vision and Rick didn't even try to swerve.

They crashed into the asteroid hard and an alarm started blaring, red rays flashing in the interior of the spaceship. Rick's hands flew over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

Morty had seen this alarm go off several times, due to Rick's often reckless driving, and it usually didn't bother Rick very much at all, not warranting more than a curse and flipping the alarm off annoyedly.

Rick bit down on his knee hard as Morty hurried to shut down the alarm, Rick's hands moving into his hair and tugging when it was finally switched off.

Rick had a tendancy to hurt himself when he was overstimulated and it made Morty endlessly anxious. He searched desperately in the backseat for the noise cancelling headphones he'd given Rick and "forced him to wear" as Rick would say, but Morty could tell he appreciated it. Especially when he snatched them out of Morty's hands before he'd barely even handed them to him, shoving them onto his head agressively and clicking the button he'd added himself for improved noise cancellation, claiming the headphones were trash and that he'd had to modify them to make them at all a useful tool.

He slumped back in his chair with a sigh, his eyes were still shut but Morty could see the tears that had collected on his eyelashes.

"Do you want me to drive us back?" Morty asked, barely finishing the sentance before Rick was hitting the button that switched their chairs around so Morty would be in front of the wheel. Morty let out a small exclamation of surprise, but quickly took the wheel, putting the ship back on track.

Rick didn't say anything else for the short journey home, jumping out of the ship before it was even parked properly. Morty hurried to keep up with him as he unlocked the door. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the entryway and Morty almost crashed into him, managing to stop himself just in time.

"Thank you." Rick said gruffly, not giving Morty time to respond and just rushing off to his room.

Morty still smiled, though. He knew that was about as close as it got to his grandpa expressing affection.

"Love you too, Rick."

---

THE END IM CHEESEY OK I KNOW SORRY BYE

[atopvisenyashill]

Out of curiosity, what are your personal headcanons and takes for Septa Rhaena and her relationships with her siblings and cousins? Was she cruel to Daena and Elaena similarly to how a lot of septas abuse women who don't conform properly to gender roles (George, a lot of nuns did cool things!)? Or was she one of the exceptions and was OK with it?

Well I do think George is gonna take um, probably some different avenues than me. I think Rhaena IS more likely to be a sort of “mean nun” type, because as you say George loves those, and he doesn’t really pay attention to his septa characters in f&b (we really lose track of rhaelle once she’s sent to be a septa, just one or two minor details after that, & we get very little of maegelle). but i also think he’s going to go straight up “naerys & aemon were in love” and im not into that. like, i’ve accepted that’s where it’s gonna go, im fairly certain i’ll still like naerys regardless of what happens, but MY view of naerys is To Me the better view of her aksjdj & it really informs how i view a lot of the era where viserys ii is still alive.

but getting into MY personal headcanons-

obviously becoming a septa feels like an outlet for her coping with the Maidenvault. Where Daena and Elaena both act out, Rhaena draws in on herself in an attempt to appease Baelor - if she’s perfectly proper, he’ll give her freedom. And it’s not even so stressful really, when she’s left alone to pray and sew and study scripture. She’s said to be meek and passive, so I don’t exactly picture her like Maegelle, in that she would ever play peacemaker between say Baelor and Daena. But at the same time, I suppose I want her to have some of the same spine as her sisters, or some of the same madness as her brothers.

I imagine, like, someone who never speaks up bc talking gets you ✨male attention✨ and she’s trying to avoid that specifically. It means she doesn’t berate Daena and Elaena for acting out, and I like to think she’s even There With Them as a tagalong though she’s not actively helping. For Elaena, this is encouragement. For Daena, it’s cowardice. Daena wants her to HELP and feels like Rhaena is no better than one of the guards. Elaena feels encouraged to keep being herself every time Rhaena silently locks eyes with her across the room. It doesn’t matter to Daena that Rhaena didn’t tell the guards about Daena sneaking off. It doesn’t matter to Elaena that Rhaena did nothing but pray when Baelor called her a whore after she cut her hair. And Rhaena doesn’t think either of them are harlots, she just feels like they’re fighting something they can’t win against. When she’s asking Daena to pray with her instead of sneaking off to make a scene in a wedding gown, she’s not saying “you’re a temptress” she’s saying “i don’t want them to cut your tongue out and send you to the silent sisters.” At the same time, when she’s holding up a mirror so Elaena can make sure her bob is straight, she’s not really saying “I think Baelor is in the wrong” because that’s not how she would conceive of it at all. I think Rhaena does disapprove of her sisters’ antics and Daena can feel that judgement, but also Rhaena sees her sisters are chafing in this environment and wants to ease their suffering. I think Daena and Rhaena love each other very much, but don’t understand each other, and eventually come to resent the other for not being ~open minded enough - to Rhaena it’s like, well, you know I can’t fight, you know i’m painfully socially awkward, why do you expect so much, why is who i am never enough. On the flip side, I think Elaena understands her sisters very well, but Rhaena never quite gets Elaena either. It doesn’t bother Elaena; she meets Rhaena where Rhaena meets her.

NOW. I think Rhaena and Naerys fucking HATE each other. I think they’d get thrown together a lot but the way they Do Religion is very different. Rhaena is out here praying for the Mother to soften Aegon’s heart to his wife, and Naerys is out here praying to the Stranger that Aegon chokes on his vomit in his sleep. Naerys very much believes that people who fuck too much are harlots, but she feels Daena was taken advantage of by Aegon in an attempt to escape, and AEGON is the harlot. He is an unholy man corrupting everyone around him and it’s not poor dear cousin Daena’s fault. Look at her, she wanted to be a maiden warrior - does that sound like a wanton whore to you? I think Naerys agrees with the stuff Rhaena is doing as a way to ~escape the lusts of men~ but when she’s hearing Rhaena pray to the Father to show Baelor the light and see his sisters are not sinful, Naerys is looking at her like “what the Fuck are you yapping about.” Rhaena simply believes Baelor is overprotective because he lived through the Dornish War and saw the worst of men. Naerys believes House Targaryen is being punished by the Seven and must be cleansed with fire. They go to the Sept at DIFFERENT TIMES bc Rhaena gets so nervous about what to say to her that she wants to vomit bc every time she tries to comfort Naerys, Naerys just glares at her and moves pews.

Both of them are in Elaena’s ear talking about how the other one is a huge bitch. Daena doesn’t talk about Rhaena with Elaena; some things are too painful. Rhaena DOES talk about Daena with Elaena, but for her it’s very much “i don’t know how to help her, i don’t know what she wants from me” sort of unloading that Elaena says little about. After Daena dies, Rhaena and Elaena talk about Daena CONSTANTLY; Rhaena feels guilt that she couldn’t calm her sister’s anger & needs to share about her, reminisce about her. I think she continues to live with Elaena (wherever Elaena may be) throughout her life, as best as she can.

[lovelyand2cute]

SHITPOST: kidnapping the candyman

(A shitpost from my wattpad ITS LOVELYBATZ__ GO READ IT ITS ON MY HATZGANG ONESHOTS)

Fat acorn = Roy

Gerard way wannabe = Ross

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer = Robert

Candyman = Kevin

Dracula wannabe = Streber

Gay police officer 1 = John

Gay police officer 2 = jack

Fat acorn sat in his awesome ass giant ass rich ass room with his awesome hello kitty blanket set filled with cum stains from last night

Fat acorn: "I'm hungry I want candy"

the stupid fat acorn said as he reached for his phone and called his two gay boyfriends

Fat acorn: "yo I want candy"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: ofc you do FATASS

Gerard way wannabe: shut up asshole I want candy too

Fat acorn: "ok let's go steal"

Gerard way wannabe: ok

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: ok

They all arrive to the candy club

Fat acorn: "ok guys I'm kinda hungry for something else...HUNGRY FOR BOY LIPS"

The stupid fat candycorn said as he started making out with his two awesome boyfriends

After their hot steamy gay make out session they walk into the candy club

They see the candyman and Dracula wannabe having HOT STEAMY GAY ANAL SEX WITH NO LUBE NO PREPARATION!!!!

Candyman: "HOLY SHIT!!!"

Dracula wannabe: "oh no"

all three of the gay boyfriends started screaming

The three gay boyfriends: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Fat acorn: "MY EYES!!!!"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: "aw hell nawwwww he doing magic tricks on the d"

Gerard way wannabe: "I can't do this anymore"

Gerard way wannabe pulls out an AR-15 and starts shooting

Candyman: "AAAAAUGGHHGHAGAUAHSSUSH!!!!"

Dracula wannabe: "omg I finally get the inheritance money fuck yeah!!!! 25 cents here I come!!!!"

Dracula wannabe leaves the store to get his 25 cents

Fat acorn: "OMG you are so strong and manly for that Gerard way wannabe"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: "we gotta hide the body my uncle is a police officer!!!!"

Fat acorn: "shit"

They grab the body and drag it to fat acorn’s giant mansion

The stupid candyman wakes up

Fat acorn: "OH NO!!!!"

Gerard way wannabe hits him with a hammer

Fat acorn: "oh"

Gerard way wannabe: "hold on he's alive why don't we hold him hostage until he gives us all the candy we want!!!!"

fat acorn: "FUCK YEAH"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: "FUCK YEAH"

Fat acorn: "ok bc you're so good at tying people up Gerard way wannabe you're gonna tie him up"

Gerard way wannabe: "ok"

Gerard way wannabe ties him up

Stupid candyman starts waking up again and the three gay boyfriends look at him menacingly

Candyman: "where am I????"

Gerard way wannabe slaps candyman

Gerard way wannabe: "GIVE US CANDY!!!!"

Fat acorn: "SHUT UP IDIOT!!! YOU'RE RUINING IT!!!"

Fat acorn backhands Gerard way wannabe

Gerard way wannabe: "oooooo I like that oooooooo My dick very hard"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: "we want ALL the candy you have stupid candyman!"

Candyman: "no pussy lol"

Fat acorn slaps candyman

Fat acorn: "WHERE IS THE REAL CANDYMAN?!??"

Candyman: "OWOWOWOWO I AM THE REAL CANDYMAN FATASS!"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer: "NUH UH!!! YOU FUCKED MY UNCLE'S HUSBAND!!!!"

Candyman: "UHHHH NUH UH I ONLY LIKE NERDY VAMPIRE ASS!!! I WAS JUST FUCKING HIM MAN YOU GAVE ME BLUE BALLS!!!"

Fat acorn: "oh yeah WELL WE HAVE DRACULA WANNABE!!!!"

Candyman: "No you don't pussyboy"

fat acorn: "SHUT UP ABOUT MY PUSSY CREEP!!!"

Fat acorn slaps candyman again

Dracula wannabe walks into the room wearing gucci head to toe

Dracula wannabe: "the fuck do you want sluts I just got my 25 cents I'm BALLING"

Candyman: "damn you look hot man"

Dracula wannabe: "shut up cock guzzler I got a NEW BOYFRIEND!!!! his name is sexy hot Dracula who probably has herpes (Ethan)"

Candyman: "NOooOooOoOo NOT SEXY HOT DRACULA THAT PROBABLY HAS HERPES!!!!"

fat acorn: "SHUT UP IDIOTS!!!"

Anime wafiu pussy destroyer hits Dracula wannabe really hard and he dies

Candyman: "NOOOOO MY BOYFRIEND!!!!! WHO AM I GONNA FUCK NOW?!?!! NO MORE VAMPIRE ASS!!!"

the door opens and gay police officer 1 and gay police officer 2 come in

Gay police officer 1: PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!!"

The three gay boyfriends: "OH NO!!!!"

Gay police officer 2: "Omg it's the dude I fucked last week"

Gay police officer 1: "what?!2?2!2? How could you cheat me on me after all we've been through!!!!"

Gay police officer 2: "ok idiots all of you leave NOW I need to fuck the candyman doggystyle"

The three gay boyfriends "ew!!!!"

Gay police officer 1: "IM ARRESTING ALL THREE OF YOU FOR KIDNAPPING AND MURDER!!!!"

Fat acorn: "I'm gonna drop the soap on purpose"

Gay police officer 2 and candyman have hot and steamy gay sex

I want them all dead

[minzart]

Sooo I finished reading PK²

It's a-ok, I really liked how they changed the status quo and shaked things with some already established characters that is probably to happen.

Everett is a really good villain, I love to hate him, he already had a good base for it, the mad scientist vibes! The whole rich guy thing, THE WHOLE THING THAT HAPPENED TO DUE

And right from the start I was INVESTED IN HATING HIM, he excencialy killed Uno AND DIDN'T EVEN LET US(readers and donald) HAVE A PROPER FUCKING GOODBYE

Donald losing all his gadgets and hiper tecnology apparatus, even if he still has his car it now can't be extremely easily accessed until he meets Lyo. SPEAKINV OF LYO, I sweared it would be revealed he was astrongman, his dynamic with Donald is funny, an old hero "sidekick" who only respects old technology to contrast with Everett duck-mad-genius-of-technology-lair IS GOOD it makes everything much more dire for our hero

And his daughters? I really liked the angle they were going with them, since, you know. IT WAS ALREADY THERE WITH UNO AND DUE, add two more sisters and make a plot were their father encencialy kidnapped them and because of sircunstances they lost they entire childhood and grew up in a suspended state. I also would be pretty fucking crazy if that happen, those are toddlers in adult bodies without any of the excential formative experiences.

BUT, ALL OF IT, WAS CUT SHORT BC THE STORY FORGOT ABOUT TWO FUCKING EXTRA SIBILINGS WHO ESTRUCTURED THE BASE FOR EVERET TO BE A SHITTY FUCKING DAD

literaly pass the 5 fist inssues? Uno stops existing, donald doesn't mention him anymore, Everett sure didn't even saw him as a person, AND LYLA ALSO FUCKS OFF TO GOD KNOWS WERE TO DO HELLS KNOWS WHAT.

The story has a strong base with.... weak execution, I didn't like the sisters being all "dominate the world mad bitches", the whole plot could be so much better if they only acknowledge that uno and due were creations and were done so dirty by daddy dearest, we could also go without the panels of sexy born yesterday vibes the sisters always were subjected to during most of their scenes, and I have zero sympathy for Donald's "nice-guy" friend and his subject of attraction.

The good things? Strong base story, and they toned down the racist design :D IT ONLY TOOK +-4 YEARS BUT WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT ISN'T HARD.

Now, bear with me, apparently the series was canceled bc it wasn't selling well at the time, wich explains the rushed ending, but if those were the details that would just be expanded and dragged on for more inssues.... that really doesn't confort me at all... and yes I know that uno somehow survived and Odin is alive in the next reboots, I don't know yet how but I know he does, it's a comic book series that's not news my problem isn't that he died it's that he was forgotten by the narrative

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 158 spoilers and thoughts but mostly it's just me laughing my ass off and also speculating on what happens, im still working on the novel but ill finish it soon trust <- has like ten billion different things she wants to do at the same time

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ARCOS AND MARBELLA IN THIS PANEL WAS ME FOR MOST IF NOT ALL OF THIS CHAPTER HELPPP LMFAOAOOO

javier you absolute fiend you ,,, you've learned so much,,, /aff

i figured that javier would tell them at least a semi-truth, or something like that to tide over the count/countess,,, their expressions here made me so worried for a moment,,,

LIKE THESE UUAGHGHHGHGHHHH that kind of anticipation is terrifying tbh like "has our son been dead this whole time, have we been living w someone else??" and the imminent grief looming over that thought i think got translated really well here the blank irises and the shadowed face im so ,,,, ueueueueueue

AND THEN TO GET HIT WITH THIS

HELP MEEEE HAHAHAHA BRAZEN JAVIER ROBOFACED JAVIER ITS REAL HES REAL LMFAOAOOOOO

OF ALL THE THINGS JAVIER COULD HAVE DONE TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION HE DECIDED TO EMULATE LLOYD I GIGGLED SO BAD I STARTED COUGHING

AND THE FULL COMMITMENT TOO TO THE BIT AND MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE'S MORE FOULMOUTHED THAN HE LETS ON . AND SINCE JAVIER IS NORMALLY SO DEADPAN IT JUST. WORKS I GUESS HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS CRAZY

insane genuinely fucking insane i couldn't stop laughing HAHAHAHAA like this is completely absurd but the fact that it's coming from javier, someone who the count and countess completely trust at the moment, someone who's been by lloyd's side this whole time,,, PELASE HAHAHFHADHFDHSHAHA

the count and countess reacting too got me giggling a storm HAHA

also also early webtoon lloyd makes an appearance again i think it's really fun that the artist gives him the hairstyle from back then, before they changed his hairstyle heehee

oh his undershirt is also missing that X that's usually there in the current tged style too i didnt notice that at first but another little callback!!!

AND THEN JAVIER FINISHING OFF THE BIT WITH. SEPPUKU??? WHAT THE HELL ALDKFJLSDKJF ?!?!?!

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE TO but i guess it did kind of knock the count/countess out of their stupor bc by seeing something so insane from javier they think javier rlly regrets giving lloyd BRAIN DAMAGE LAKJDFSHDF FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGE

i did see some ppl say that its kind of odd that they thank javier for this and thats fair yeah i dont think id be ok w finding out "oh one of my loved ones gave another one of my loved ones MEMORY LOSS"

but i think it could be that they're relieved to find out (or are inclined to believe) that their lloyd is "still alive" - he's just changed, not dead (except he is dead, so javier succeeded in fooling them without telling very severe lies)

honestly with how their expressions were they were probably expecting the worst, esp w all the evidence stacked against lloyd. can u imagine that despair, realizing that the person you've finally come to love is not the person you thought they were?? that the person you thought you had a second chance with, wasn't that person at all? i bet all those regrets were washing over the count and countess all at once,,, and then the relief that comes when it's revealed (when they're lead to believe) that no, it's the same person. this second chance was with the same lloyd, not someone else. that's still their son. oooooh imagine the relief, the realization that you don't have to mourn, you don't have to grieve for a death that happened under your nose

i think that's why they reacted this way, instead of worrying over javier wacking lloyd upside the head; like, what matters now is that lloyd frontera is alive (to them) and that both lloyd and javier have grown and changed themselves and the estate for the better. that the child and the knight they raised have a bright future and isn't that what any parent wants?

tho ofc they dont realize that their assumption is not the truth, but well they dont need to know that,,, for everyones sakes,,, nice play javier

when lloyd shows up and we saw this panel i thought we were gonna have a nice moment between the two of them where lloyd thanks javier for covering for him and hiding the truth but then-

THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS HAHAHAHAHAHA /AFF

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO DEVIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

and then lloyds conversation with the count/countess after PLEASE

yknow this is kind of like that bargaining strategy where you propose something completely absurd and crazy so that the other party says no, but then you offer your real request that is objectively tasking but the other party thinks of it as lesser than the former request so they'll grant it . whatever the heck that strat is called thats what this feels like HAHAHAHA

AND ARCOS TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR LLOYD AND

AHFGSDLJKFSDGHH THRTHOWS UP

lloyd says "all i need is for you to stay healthy" and god that fucking. hurts ouw ouuuhhh owiee oww BUDDY U CAN HAVE BOTH U CAN PROTECT UR FAMILY WHILE ALSO RELYING ON THEM!!! LLOYD!!! LLLOOOYYYDDD

and yet of course this is smth that suho!lloyd would say ,,, he wasnt able to help his parents w their struggles back then but now he can and now it's all he wants to do ,,, i cant even explain how emo this exchange makes me i can't quite put it into words even after a whole day of sitting on this,,, especially after the events of 157 like lloyd im worried abt u!! he doesnt even realize he doesnt even realize the overwork the possible spiral that can come from trying to preserve this aghhh AAGGHHH

sorry for losing it anyways moving on, the title effects linking yippie!!! it was super fun seeing all the teams and all the people he's brought together,,, truly this was our greatest estate development /j

ALSO JAVIER BEING BY HIMSELF ON A TEAM LMFAOOOO "the team that does everything" HAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN AND THEN the last reveal of this episode THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN HELLO!@?!?!??!@?!?@?!@! OH MY GOD

raphael looks a litte different here i could've sworn he was a turtle /j

BUT YEAH HOLY SHIT WOW i mean it makes sense, if theres a hell theres probably a heaven, and there was that line that javier said where he was like "alicia liking lloyd is more ridiculous than suho actually being an archangel" MAN I SHOULDA SEEN THIS COMING LMAO but im still excited to see where this goes

like the jewel of truth construction being ILLEGAL? what r they gonna do??? like,,, take the parts away?!?! how will lloyd avoid their like, divine punishment or whatever?? is it considered a crime to start mythical construction??? i wonder what their ruling will be

also the exiled student guy (forgot his name) and lupellan what r they up to will this interfere w them?? or with lloyd? a lot of stuff lined up oh GOD lmao

anyways thats all for right now, as always i yap more on my twitter if youd like to see more shenanigans from me, see yall next week!! !!!!

[goddisposez]

woe more headcanons from me and @orlopsexdungeon 's hickeygibsontozer deadbeat dadverse be upon ye

takes place in a vague somebody lives/not everybody dies rescue AU where they end up back in england

hickeygibson still on the rocks so hickey shacks up with tozer who sort of falls in love with him. oops tozer becomes pregnant and hickey (not ready and will probably never be ready for that level of commitment with him) dips

hickey ends up running into gibson again and they rekindle their relationship. oops now gibson's pregnant too. hickey stays for the most part because A) he does genuinely love gibson to an extent and B) gibson's more ruthless than sol so he will find a way to make him regret it if he does abandon him too

hickeygibson originally think they're going to have a girl and hickey wants to name the baby a really fancy name because he's a social climber and wants her to live up to it

the baby ends up being a boy but they don't bother choosing a different name. welcome to the world alexandria gibson

tozer names his kid william after bill heather. him and the other marines (who are basically his baby's self-proclaimed and extremely supportive godfathers now) call him billy bc it's a cute nickname for a kid. it'll take tozer quite some time to realize that he accidentally named his child after the guy his ex started a new family with

despite hickey not being around at all billy tozer has a really good and loving childhood. sol adores him and teaches him everything a working class boy needs to know. they have such a good support system with the marines and tozer's family

alexandria gibson on the other hand isn't so lucky. gibson ends up resenting his kid because hickey isn't as dedicated as he promised to be, being in their lives but randomly leaving for weeks at a time to follow a new scheme. alexandria has a very strained relationship with gibson and they're basically kubrick staring at each other across the dinner table every night. alexandria develops a love-hate relationship with hickey, swinging between admiring him and desperately wanting his love/attention versus hating his ass

billy tozer in adulthood is miraculously well-adjusted and works an honest laboring job. he grows up looking exactly like hickey, except taller and stronger and better-fed. this causes him some mild angst (looking in the mirror and seeing the face of a father you met only a few times and who didn't want you. + everyone who knew hickey kind of getting startled when they see him) but he doesn't let it bog him down that much, his primary reason for hating hickey is that he broke his papa's heart and did him dirty. even as a grown man billy WILL call himself a papa's boy he loves sol so much

alexandria unsurprisingly ends up fucked up. he has all of hickey's ambition and viciousness as well as gibson's capacity for cold calculation and pragmatism. he somehow learns of his half-brother early in life and spirals knowing that he had to grow up with an uncaring, distant parent and a house full of misery and unpredictability and incredibly shady shit while billy tozer got a warm, loving household. villain origin story fr. he ends up being an extremely dangerous scammer/criminal himself because it's the only way he knows how to keep himself alive now. like father like son <3

the unspoken gibsontozer beef is strong here so it's possible that they never arrange to introduce their children to their sibling but if they did they would notttt like each other either.

if they met in childhood, alexandria would try to bully billy but in the most shifty underhanded ways possible so billy, innocent and has been taught by his dad to just ignore whatever other Weird kids say to him, doesn't register it. he's like ok sure i'm going to play with my hoop and stick.

if they met in adulthood it would probably be due to some hickey-related circumstance. alexandria would be hunting him down to get his revenge, it's his life's goal to defeat his father. billy tozer kind of dgaf about hickey at that point but would beat him up if he saw him in the street if it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. in each other's eyes they both see some hint of their father and they don't like it. they go on their separate ways pretty quickly

[zempumpkin]

Ok I've been thinking about the cast of captain laserhawk and it's keeping bugging me cuz they dont have a canon age in the show and I have some hcs and want to talk about it

So I'm gonna start with Rayman since he's the one that is more difficult to get the age, and I'm gonna say. This man is OLD. Yeah I know, people though and think that he's like 40 or something?? And I understand why but he's more old than that and I'm gonna tell why

So like first of all he's been alive since eua existed, and since the beginning of the series they talk about how it's been a long time since eua became Eden, so yea, Idk how long it was but it probably been some decades.

I gonna use Sarah as an example cuz she was a kid and Eden already existed plus Rayman already did his shows, also Marcus was like 20 or something back there I think??? And when he appears again nowadays he looks old (probably 65?? Idk)

And also there's the fact that Rayman don't age, that's one of the reasons he became Eden's star

I think that he's like between 60-70 or something cuz he's been alive since before Eden existed plus I'm using Marcus as an example because his one of the only people that was more close to have lived in the eua before (the other one is Sarah's dad but he died soo)

Gonna talk about Bullfrog now cuz he's another one with the same thing going on

So we all know he's younger than Rayman (cuz of that one line "when I was your age" when Ramon and Bullfrog talked) and some people think that he's 18??? Which doesn't make sense like yes he's younger but not THAT younger

I saw that you turn into an assassin when you become 23, so he has to be at least 23 but by the looks and how much experience he shows to have, I think he would be like 27 at least (the same goes to Jade but I gonna talk about that in a minute)

Also quick talk rn but I don't really ship Rayfrog like yes it's cute but bcs of my hcs my mind can't let me and plus they talked just once, but I don't mind who shipp it and I respect it since everyone has their hc about them, and this being another reminder that this is just how I see the characters I can just talking bullshit if the creators decide to tell us about their canon ages

Moving on! Jade, so as I said before I think she would be in the same boat with bullfrog since she looks and acts young but not that much?? And plus they seem to be closer (as close as you can say when you know a person for like 2 days) so they probably have the same age

OMG I'M TALKING A LOUT HELP HUHHHHH OK QUICK WORK THIS IS HOW I SEE THEM IN GENERAL:

Jade and Bullfrog: 27

Dolph e Sarah: between 37-40

Alex: 2-3 years older than Dolph....probably....

Pey'j: 60 something

Rayman: 70 IDK HUHHHH

WELL SORRY FOR RAMBLING HERE I GOT DISTRACTED ANYWAY

[spacelesbiandisaster]

What did happened with the Padawans Ahsoka save in Wasskah???

OK, I'm starting to feel a little frustrated by how many interested characters appear in Ahsoka's arc's just to be forgotten and never mentioned again.

I already did a few posts on Trace Martez, and Barriss Offe (how are both minor characters in the clone wars series, just look at their actual screen time) but there's also her relationship with Plo Koon, Joscasta Nu, Tera Sinube and Ayla Secura who should all been more explored. I feel like Ahsoka is only allowed to share screen time with Anakin, Rex and Padmé (Obi-Wan and Lux Bonteri too if the writes were feeling generous) and that pisses me off!

So today I'm talking about Kalifa (the human girl), Jinx (the Twi'lek boy) and O-Mer (the Cerean boy)!

Ahsoka meets the Padawan group (I not sure if they are actually Padawans or just senior Younglings) when she is kidnapped by Trandoshan who took her to Wasskah (the moon of their homeplanet) and proceed to try to hunt her.

Trying to scape she meet Kalifa and her friends, all Jedi who allegedly were "abandoned" by their masters and were doing everything possible to survive.

Note: they weren't actually abandoned, rather also kidnapped. But their masters weren't nowhere near looking for them, so I guess the word abandoned works where.

Between the events of this arcs we actually see Kalifa dieing in screen

And after that Ahsoka managers to save Jinx and O-Mer (with the help of Chewbacca for some reason). They go back to the temple and Ahsoka gets to reunite with Anakin in a very heart harming scene

It is really cute and nice to see these two characters care so much about each other but it is also very annoying to see Jinx and O-Mer being reduce to background characters after spending a whole arc rooting for their survive. And this is the last time we ever seen them as well! On my first watch I tough that there being implied that they straight up leave the Jedi order bc they already feel way to disconnect from the Jedi by the time they got back at the temple (we don't even know how much time they spent being hunting in that moon), but rewatching there's no evidence of that, so I guess we supposed to assume they got back to their masters just like Ahsoka did.

That is flat out laziness though, they could very easily show them walking in the temple on later episodes similar like they did with the Younglings Ahsoka took to Ilum, just so we know they were alive and well, but they never do that! It's like Jinx and O-Mer never existed in the first place and there's a particular arc that they could had a major role and would make total sense.

The wrong Jedi arc.

I already comment about how I think they only blame Barriss Offe for the temple bombing bc Ahsoka didn't had any other friends who could betrayer her like that and even made a hole theory what could justify her motives for the attack (link here) but you know who had very reasonable motivation for doing that?

Jinx and O-Mer!

God, did Filoni just forgot about theses two boys there were left to rotten on Wasskah by the Jedi?

They could very easily been portrait as Ahsoka's friends for all they pass together and would be even easier to tell a story about how the grow resenting the Jedi Order for never looking for them after their kidnaping. On top of that, assuming they return to their training as if nothing was happened, they probably were send to battlefronts just like all the other Padawans in the order.

So let me explain their situation:

First they passed for a very traumatic experience by being separated from their masters and hunted down by lizards for months, then their best friend died while trying to help them scape this living nightmare and when they finally get back home and ask about why no one looked for them they probably get the standard Jedi speech about having to let go of attachments and how everyone thought they were death and the council couldn't afford sending rescue missions bc of the separatists (I'm assuming all that bc this is exactly what they told Anakin when he wanted to go find Ahsoka, so it's not only the voices of my head) and after a few days of rest they were required to go fight a freaking war.

They have more reasons (in cannon) to bombing the Jedi temple that Palpatine did! How they aren't even suspects?????

And imagine Ahsoka's reaction if the boys she helped to salve were the responsible for not only killing civilians, clones and Jedi, but also framing her for murderer?

Don't get me wrong, I do like the plot twist of being Barriss, but for that make sense we should had seen what made her to that and we never did, but if Jinx and O-Mer that problem wouldn't exist. Just put a dialogue of them (or one of them) talking about how their lives only got worst after returning to the Jedi and all of us would understand immediately!

But we don't get that because Ahsoka apparently isn't allowed to have more than one friend in the Jedi order.

I always stick with my theories about Barriss motives and how she became so radicalized, but its honestly a waste not to put other Padawans who had a connection to Ahsoka and were turning disenchantment about the Jedi. Imagine she having a little talk about the bombing of the temple and the protests that came together with Jinx and O-Mer and there like "I hope you and Master Skywalker find the bomber, but I do get the point of these protests. It was only a matter of time until this war get the better out of us". You get the idea, my point is that The Wrong Jedi arc should had focus more on changing Ahsoka's perspective on the order, not just because they don't believe she was innocent, but because the Jedi were actually losing their way for everyone she loves and for the galaxy. And these Padawans were a direct reflection of that! I don't care how many wars the Jedi were fighting, losing four kids and refuse to go look for them should be a galactic crime! Were is the Republic child protective services???

Please talk to me if you have any headcanons regarding theses characters, I really would appreciate having someone to share my ideas for the fanfic I working on at the moment and I definitely are going to include Jinx and O-Mer in some way.

[jane-john-doe-tournament]

Jane Doe (Ride the Cyclone) Propaganda:

Great singing, also she’s literally wearing a doll‘s head bc she lost hers

do they have their soul or is it rotting somewhere with their head?

BALLAD OF JANE DOE IS SO SAD AND SHE IS GREAT AND I ONLY WATCH RTC ONCE BUT SHES NY FAVE OK

cool asf

She forgets her name after her death and has no story told in the production

She's so sweet and deserves the world. Her song (The Ballad of Jane Doe) is great.

the song goes so hard just listen to her song guys please

she literally died and her head was cut off so nobody could tell who she was PLEASE let her take one (1) W

BECAUSE SHE IS AMAZING. First she already won the tournament in the musical to regain life, as she won them over with her sad wet cat energy because she did not have a head and feared that she lost her soul. Second, she died on a roller coaster and lost her head, but stole her doll's head and thats very gender. Third, throughout the musical she is used as a vessel for religious allegory, she is an angel, she is jesus, she is a demon, she is forsaken but she is purity itself. Fourthly, she is is given the identity of Savannah with the greenest eyes after the other characters who died with her hold her a birthday party, and I think thats sweet because its probably some kind of meaning I cant see but auughfhfhh shes so cool

i mean her name isn't TECHNICALLY jane doe but we refer to her as such. she's so silly!! autism powers! i don't have a lot of propaganda tbh. i would've just been surprised had she NOT been submitted

She lost her head literally when the rollercoaster derailed. She wasn't able to be identified apart from the school uniform she was wearing.

Her name is forgotten, and so is everything about her. So she’s called Jane Doe. She’s very sweet and very creepy, but she doesn’t mean it

and im asking WHYYYYY LORRRRRDDD

I LOVE HER! she died in a roller coaster accident and was decapitated, her body not being found. in the show, her head is actually just her doll’s head. the coroners couldn’t identify her, so she was dubbed a jane doe. in the game to be alive again, she ends up being voted, her name being revealed to be penny lamb. anyways she’s a little creepy and also quite silly and she does her funny little waddle like a porcelain doll (or corpse).

She deserves it! She lost her head she shouldn't lose this too.

Not convinced you didn’t start this tournament just for her tbh

They have a great song and a true air of mystery to them. They also have arguably the best song in the musical, The Ballad of Jane Doe! I would definitely recommend listening to it >:)

—She LOST her HEAD and had it replaced with a PORCELAIN DOLL —In all seriousness her story is really poignant. No one could identify her body so she arrives in the afterlife not knowing her identity and she spends the show vacillating between depressed and angry at her situation, leading to… —“The Ballad of Jane Doe”, specifically Emily Rohm’s version, might be the most haunting solo in musical theatre history.

John Doe (Milgram) Propaganda:

well atp hes prolly not gonna be forgiven in the trials so hopefully he can at least get farther in this

in a supernatural prison full of sympathetic murderers, john just so happened to be the one corner case. neither a prisoner nor a warden, he's just kinda there! the one being officially (if not legally.) prosecuted for the crime is his alter, kayano mikoto, although it's unclear which one of them actually killed someone. after getting the verdict of "unforgiven" in the first trial of three for their crime, john is certainly being insistent on the fact that he's an entirely horrible person who killed without measure; all for the sake of becoming the scapegoat and diverting the negative attention from mikoto. he's just a little shit who would do anything for the person he cares about the most in the world and who hates himself so so bad. deep devotion? he has that. grey morals? absolutely. homoeroticism? you tell me. mainstream tumblr you would love him. also his name is like that because a fifteen-year-old amnesiac called es named him (while the events take place in japan) so do with that what you will

[odysseys-blood]

ok now that ive seen all of xiel's personal story ive come to the conclusion that this game is a bunch of guys who have never really had friends before.

(bit more rambling about it under the cut w/ some spoilers related to several personal stories)

- anli is sorta? exempt from this? but not all the way bc we know he was friends with milles and nolno but he still spent the majority of his time by himself and he does have rye but thats not really the same at all.

- i mentioned xiel above and in all of his 25 years he had ONE person he was close to (his personal butler caleb) and it hadn't even gotten to be a full blown friendship yet considering 1) they met probably only a few years before the current story 2) caleb ended up nearly dying (and is still only barely alive). so overall his friend counter is still a 0.

- delos was pretty popular in zarcove but like. no mention of any close friends. just his little brother and that does NOT count. you can be friends with your siblings ofc (and i know this well considering how i get along w/ my own brother) but like. i see it more as him just being a brother and caretaker from how he acted with denir. so 23 with no friends.

- yve and owyn.... lonely as hell. no friends.

- mishe didn't even get along well with the other children at the orphanage he used to stay in bc he was always getting picked at and then i dont think he really went out after he started staying in the clock tower.

- hyasha and sen: LOL

- heigel's got connections but i dont think that man has friends.

- ok out of the entire roster of main chars the only two i can see having friends are dacatt and cypar. and i have neither of their base ssr's so idk anything about their backstories but i can believe dacatt makes friends easy and is popular. cypar on the other hand i believe he is popular but ALSO i dont think he makes friends as easily or keeps people at arms length. so theres that.