#ok so the game shes from is very very silly. the premise is that you can NOT understand these guys.

[autism-corner]

wife

[sgiandubh]

Hi! Really enjoying your posts but have a question. Why do you suppose anyone even cares where Sam is at any given moment? Is it all in the name of trying to prove he is or isn’t with Caitriona? What good does that do either side when we so rarely know where she is?

(I’d argue that someone shows us where she is most often when someone has already shown us where he is, and that alone 1) is fishy, and 2) only explains a small fraction of her whereabouts, but that’s the silly shipper in me talking 😉)

Dear Whereabouts Anon,

I am terribly sorry for the late answer, but in fact, I think now is the perfect time to answer your questions, given what happened yesterday/today.

I'll answer in order:

I think you noticed already: this is a very thirsty fandom, that has been spoon-fed since the beginning with banter and innuendo, both by These Two and by Anons. When the banter ended, the habit remained. Where is he? Where is she? Where are they? This is also a very 'give me everything and give it to me now ' fandom. The minute you post something of some import is the minute you are, pardon my French, fucked: endless Anons, ranging from pleading to cursing, will land in your inbox. Gimme. Your post will be obsolete in a matter of hours, at most. Gimme everything, all the time. Last but not least, I suppose S&C live, love, procreate and break up several times a day in the minds of some people in the fandom: knowing exactly where they are could possibly help reassure them everything is ok with Those Two. It is the direct consequence of the long timeline of PR slaps, drama and plot twists the shippers have witnessed over the years and I can't be judgmental. It is what it is, the lay of this insecure land.

Not always - I just tried to explain the shippers' motivations. For Mordor, it's all about ABC: Anyone But Cait. Literally anyone, which gave birth to the Fitness Harem merry-go-round. The protracted strike pushed it to new peaks of the grotesque, when it comes to foolishly speculating. No female (not even me, just to take a perfectly absurd premise) could ever be seen near Ginger Jesus, that immediately the Chinese Whispers game starts: who is she? where does she live? what's her trade? Ad nauseam.

It reassures shippers and it serves multiple agendas in Mordor. As simple as that.

I completely agree with your conclusion. And now, I'll have to bid thee good night. I am beaten. :)

[unsightedjoker]

Spider-man: ATSV NSR AU

Ok, I usually don’t post stuff and only reblog and like stuff but since i just watched Spider-man ATSV and I really liked it that it hasn’t left my mind and won’t leave it any time soon I’m still so hyped I feel like sharing this. I was on my way home when I started to listen to the NSR soundtrack and the inevitable happened just remembering the premise for the game and what happens in the movie I started connecting thoughts and this entire AU happened.

My writing isn’t the best to make a fanfic that does justice to my ideas at the moment and hell if I can’t write I have even worse at drawing so making fanart for this is also out of the picture.

For anyone who doesn’t know NSR (No Straight Roads) it’s an indie game from 2020 that’s very underrated from what I’ve seen. The plot is very simple a Rock duo Mayday (a guitarist) and Zuke (a drummer) enter a competition made to scout for new talents that want to join NSR, a company that besides functioning as a music company works as the main energy supplier for the city by using a Mcguffin that transforms music into energy. Anyways NSR turns out to be a group of EDM artists that have complete control over the city and never allow any other genres to join especially not rock, so after getting rejected and suffering a city wide power outage (which NSR is completely inmune from) our rock duo decides to start a revolution to bring back Rock and take down NSR by hijacking their concerts. If you have not played it take this as a recommendation the art style, gameplay and music are reaaaally good (worth mentioning the music for each boss is dynamic it starts as EDM but as you start having the upper hand the music turns into a rock version of the same song).

The premise for the game and having Gwen and Hobie right there in the movie made this AU inevitable in my mind so I’m sharing it here.

So the characters I’ll be using changing for the AU will be the two main protagonists and the 6 main bosses of the game.

First off the protagonists

Because it’s a guitarist and drummer Gwen and Hobie take Mayday and Zuke’s place that one seems a bit obvious to me. It can also be Gwen and Miles but I ended up choosing Gwen and Hobie. However instead of starting their movement after being rejected by NSR they’re fully into their revolution agenda and hijacking the EDM concerts

DJSS

The first boss is Dj Subatomic Supernova and honestly that one was also an easy pick as he directly fits with Spot, especially because of his last phase in his fight where his face breaks and it looks like a black hole ejecting black matter or whatever. They’re both also so self-centered and silly.

SAYU

Sayu is the second boss and consists of a virtual idol (like Hatsune Miku) made as a project by four adolescents so for the au she could be made by peni parker and the virtual reality spiderwoman (i can’t remember her name :’) ) but idk who else could be put as one of Sayu’s creators in this AU.

YINU

Yinu is a child pianist prodigy so for her I’d go with Mayday Parker, since Yinu also gets help from her mother during the fight I guess Mary Jane helps her or maybe Peter B. idk? It’s just that Yinu’s dad in the game is dead and that’s also one of the reasons she plays her piano because her dad taught her. Yinu’s character is supposed to represent the lack of control child prodigies have in their lives because their parents or guardians are in charge of making all the decisions during their youth so I imagine Hobie would spend a bunch of this confrontation telling her to go wild and start doing whatever she wants to do while Gwen would tell Peter or Mary Jane to pay more attention to Mayday and be a better single parent, culminating in the piano solo at the end of Yinu’s boss fight

1010

So this one’s a bit weird but hear me out. 1010 consists of a boy band made up by 5 robots that are almost identical with the exception of their color and hairstyle so in this case it’s five alternate versions of Miles Morales robots as a boyband while the original Miles (the one that isn’t a robot) is Neon J (the creator of 1010) in this AU. I ended up choosing Miles for this one because despite how much Mayday says she despises them she has a crush on 1010 and while Gwen and Miles wouldn’t really act like Mayday and 1010 respectively I still chose this because of that.

In a similar way Gwen has a crush on 1010Miles but she isn’t entirely into it because the Miles robots have an artificial vibe to them like prefabricated charm and personalities, they can fool a lot of people but not everyone. Once one breaks and the real Miles comes out to replace it they start focusing on him, Gwen and Miles throughout the fight start to realize they like each other mean while Hobie goesout of his way to show how he’s in the wrong as he should question the stuff they do and shouldn’t be following NSR, by the end when they defeat Miles he ends up accepting it and actually rooting for them to beat the remaining members.

I’m using an action figure as a substitute for robots lol

EvE

This one I reserved for my favorites Nadia (EvE) and Pavitr. Eve happens to be an eccentric artist and Diva that is the second in command because of her skill. There’s a couple of reasons I chose to have Pavitr in Eve’s place:

First, during the briefing before her fight it’s stated that the “instrument” she uses to make her music is her body and mind in contrast to all the previous artists which have actual specific instruments (from sinthesizers to a piano) which doesn’t explain much until you get to her fight and see her dance, she dances (and probably uses a bit of magic as well or something) to make her music. If I’m gonna give the ability to make music through the movement of their body to anyone it’s gonna be Pavitr.

Second, during her phases Eve shows she can warp the space around her in what she refers as the Diva’s realm and from what I remember the part of diva’s realm is supposed to be a reference to Deva’s realm and Devas are deities from hinduism if I’m not mistaken, so there’s also that.

Last but not least I like a bit of angst. In the game its shown Zuke and Eve used to have a good relationship as they were a duo and know each other closely to the point Zuke knows what’s going on in her mind while many don’t, however after a certain incident they disbanded. Similarly in this AU they used to be a duo until they received an invitation to join NSR, Pavitr wanted to share his music and art and be in contact with everyone in their community so he accepted, this however was a deal breaker for Hobie so they disbanded. Once he got his position Pavitr could share his music however after being put in a pedestal he no longer could keep in touch with his community as much when he wanted leaving him feeling isolated and only focuses on his craft now as a way to cope. Their fight besides being about taking him down would have the purpose of mending Hobie and Pavitr’s relationship.

TATIANA

This one was also very obvious Miguel takes Tatiana’s place. To begin they’re the respective leaders of their antagonistic faction but also majorly because the entire story of NSR and ATSV happens because both of them had a very specific personal problem and instead of dealing with it by themselves or getting help to solve it they decided to make it everyone else’s problem and never even try to recognize that maybe they’re wrong.

And that’s it that’s all I have in my mind

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tags y'all! @mistresslrigtar @zeldadiarist @ladyhoneydee y'all go read their stuff it's so good

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 8, but it's about to increase! ;)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

58,767!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda - All BOTW so far. I have some ideas for other Zelda games but they remain as ideas for now.

I also have a short Marvel story from my Steve/Bucky days circa 2013.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shadows - An Epistolary Poem from Steve Rogers to Bucky Barnes

Is that a yes? (Zelink oneshot, NSFW)

That child of mine (my beloved longfic - I promise I'm coming back to this story soon! I miss it so much)

Silk and moonlight (with art from the magnificent @bahbahhh)

A chance encounter at the blood clinic (modern Zelink au that is very silly but you gotta be ok with blood donation)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I am a sucker for attention and I love talking about stories with people.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh DEFINITELY That child of mine. It's not even finished yet but there is some goooood angst coming, and I already know how it's going to end (I've actually written a good chunk of the finale already) and it's gonna be heartbreaking.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably A chance enounter? They get each other's number and the promise of a cute date.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I've only gotten some (requested) constructive criticism. I do have a fic planned that I anticipate being kinda contentious? But I'm already planning on limiting comments on that one lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yee! I've never written anything hardcore but I do really like writing and reading sexy scenes. I'm not much of a PWP kind of person (give me all of the emotional context) but I'm a big believer that sex and intimacy are fundamentally human experiences and can serve a story in so many beautiful and interesting ways.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I continue to chip away at my Deep Space 9/TotK crossover idea. It's gonna happen one day... maybe...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but maybe I'll try re-writing one of my stories in French sometime as a project.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I would LOVE to. The closest is when B and I collaborated and I wrote a story and she did the art.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink, definitely. People whose souls are inextricably bound to one another and keep finding each other, lifetime after lifetime? That's the good shit right there. Obsessed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The story that walked into my head that made me start writing. It's a crazy ambitious story - Basic premise is that instead of the Sheikah technology being banned by the ancient king, the Sheikah themselves were banished from the lands of Hyrule. In the interim, Hyrule has been through many wars, dynasties and factions have all risen and fallen, and the bloodline of the Goddess has been forgotten. No one remembers any of the old stories. Zelda is a farm girl training to become a healer like her mother, Link is the son of the king who won the throne after lead a successful campaign against the Zora, and into all of this comes a young Impa, drawn back to Hyrule after thousands of years away, tormented by visions of calamity, a prophecy her people have passed down for millenia, knowing that Hylia would recall them to the land of their ancestors when the time was right. It's anti-monarchy, it's about climate change, it's about falling in love and renouncing power in order to fulfill a greater purpose, it's about knowing yourself, it's about righting ancestral wrongs, and I do not think it will ever be finished but I do like to come back to it every once in a while.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Coming up with interesting concepts!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Executing interesting concepts?

But in all seriousness, I know I still have a lot to learn as a writer. I'm overly descriptive, I have long run-on sentences, dialogue tags are my nemesis, and I struggle to write with real depth of character.

I do think I'm a good storyteller. I am just still honing those skills.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's great! I am obsessed with conlangs - I think they're so fucking cool. For writing in existing languages, as long as you're familiar with the language, or getting someone to look it over and not just running things through google translate, I think that's wonderful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Captain America.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

That child of mine my beloved

This was really fun, thanks y'all!

Tagging @louwhose @newtsnaturethings @wanderingnightingale and @bahbahhh ! I'm sure y'all have already been tagged but add me to the pile of fans who want to hear more about your work :D

[magnuficent76]

Pokémon the Curatellas would have and why [part 2 of this because I'm. Insane]

MEREDITH [their mom] (She's probably just a doctor, I can't see her battling much... anyway here's her very normal medicine type team)

- Absol [This Pokémon's whole premise is that it tries to save people from disaster but gets unfairly labeled as a bad omen, so I think Ms. MALPRACTICE would love that kind of premise. Also, it'd be helpful to have in hospital situations in case someone contaminated enters a room or if something could go wrong during survery.]

- Chansey [Literally THE doctor Pokémon. Also stall is so annoyingly effective Meredith would love it]

- Gliscor [It can heal itself with poison and I like to think it can do the same with people by sucking out the poisons in their body. Which is something you'd probably not want to hear your doctor say as she puts a scorpion bat near your wounds]

DONATELLO [their dad] (he's another doctor but he's not actively committing medical malpractice like a certain someone, so here's his actually normal 'mon)

- Miltank [Associated with some... very difficult battles in the OG games, but also just a great little healing Pokémon. I think it'd be popular with the kids he works with simply because its very round and gentle looking. Her name is moomoo or something and shes his 5th spoiled baby]

MELAINE (If you guessed Bug, you are correct. She absolutely is bug. This woman hasn't thought about anything other than bugs, science and her husband in like years.)

- Fomantis -> Lurantis [This was probably her starter to be honest ! It's mantis and she's hyperfixated on them, so no surprise there. The only one out of her siblings not to have an orthodox professor-given starter, she actually just befriended this little guy when she was a kid and it has been with her since !!]

- Scolipede [TANKY fellow, but also just a fast bug boy. Melaine is the type of person to be completely unafraid of bugs and scolipede is absolutely no different. Sure, it may be poisonous, giant and mean looking, but Mel loves it to death and you can redirect your complaints to the box if you dislike it. Probably has an unfittingly cute name too, like Fifi or Viola.]

Shedninja/Ninjask [Now these guys, they're technically the same Pokémon, but Mel couldn't possibly keep the FASTEST Pokémon that isn't a legendary out of her team ok. Its a delightfully weird little critter with bizarre properties and she fucking adores it. Also it can shoot lasers. That is fucking cool]

- Yanmega [FAST guy !!! WEIRD fellow !! Its everything a girl could want in a bug. Its also incredibly violent so it adds onto Melaine's bizarre courage and unyielding determination. Like, seriously, look at its desc- "Extremely violent. When hunting, it wastes none of its energy, aiming only for prey’s most vulnerable spots. Any who manage to tame this Pokémon must be of incredible bravery". Mel is so cool and normal you guys.]

- Genesect [A Pokémon given to her by her husband, Jonah, who figured the double steel/bug typing would be cute since it matches both of them ! She loved it...nowadays, its a nice reminder of him.]

ANTON (Water/Psychic, because those are both things you use when you're a dentist)

- Primarina [He loves this dramatic mermaid seal so fucking much. It is his right hand arm. His silly seal. The greatest joy of his many joys. It grew from a small silly guy and it became a gorgeous princess and Anton couldn't be prouder. It can't exactly help with dentistry, but its still his most amazingest pokimen ever]

- Slowking [This is the most helpful 'mon in the clinic simply because it is able to move things around with its mind. Caught it as a slowpoke not sure of what to do with it, but eventually decided he was determined to teach it about dentistry. And it worked. Sort of.]

- Alakazam [Another Pokémon I think could be pretty useful in a clinic. It's smart as hell and it has hands ok ? Anton is a licensed doctor and he says you can trust the Alakazam.]

PHIL (Fire. Because he is. So mad. Constantly. (Half joke))

- Blaziken [The only fire starter who isn't a hazard to have in a pharmacy simply because it doesn't have fire on it constantly. Originally only got Torchic because his parents said he had to get a Pokémon, but since then got really attached.]

- Fletchinder [Loves birds so much, so this one was just a no brainer. Can't evolve it because of the space it'd take up however... its okay, they're both happy as it is <3]

THEO (Grass/Psychic, because you use it when you're a therapist. Also, it just follows their general aesthetic)

- Meganium [Studied this line carefully before ever deciding to actually get one for herself, but it was worth it because they're now bffs. Spoils this walking fern like its his only purpose in life, and in return gets a pretty chill room buddy who patients can pet while they vent !]

- Victreebel [Sir, that's my emotional support fucked up plant. Not really much of a reasoning I just think Theo would love murder plants]

- Leavenny [It was originally supposed to be their sister's, but unluckily for her, Theo was faster with the pokeball throwing. Mel isn't over it but its okay, they can share custody of the little lady.]

[purpleplaid17]

Jess Watches // Sat 25 Nov // Day 64 & Sun 26 Nov // Day 65 Synopses & Favourite Scenes & Poll

Quiz Lady (with sister & her bf)

A game-show-obsessed woman (Awkwafina) and her estranged sister (Sandra Oh) work together to help cover their mother's gambling debts.

I expected this to be really silly given the premise, and while there was definitely plenty of laughs, the humour actually mostly felt quite organic and grounded. Both leads were fantastic and their sisterly dynamic was very realistic and relatable. A nice easy afternoon watch.

A Business Proposal (with Friend) Ep 11

When Ha Ri's personal life becomes the talk of the town, Tae Moo's grandfather gives her an ultimatum. Young Seo's dad suggests dinner with Sung Hoon.

I was so worried with how the previous episode ended but thankfully Taemoo was ok. Him even being playful in the hospital teasing Sunghoon as he helped him to dress lolol. And what a pleasant surprise that Youngseo's dad wants a better relationship with her.

Ugly Betty (with mum) 3x06 Ugly Berry

Betty becomes project manager of a special issue involving photo model Adriana Lima and a rare berry known as the tico berry. Unfortunately, Kimmie becomes a major nuisance, trying to take over the whole thing herself.

Mark & Amanda being the little devils on Betty's shoulder, urging her to takedown Kimmie. And then Betty trying to undo it but only making her meddling even more effective.

Survival of the Thickest (with mum) 1x03 You Did What in Public, Bitch?

Mavis springs into action when a drag queen has a wardrobe malfunction and a late-night date with a charming stranger turns into a sticky situation.

The supportiveness in their friend group is just so nice and motivational. Gently encouraging each other to take care of themselves. I love to see it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 3x02 Dead Man's Party

A Nigerian mask reanimates the dead, forcing Buffy to battle a horde of zombies.

Maybe don't take historical artefacts that don't belong to you, Joyce. Also, Cordy was the mvp trying to help everyone and ofc getting zero credit and snide comments in retuurn.

The Lazarus Project 1x02 Episode 2

After a freak accident George is left distraught. He can't stop himself from asking the question - if he is working with an organisation that can turn back time, why can't they undo what has happened?

Archie and the Irish fella were pretty cute together so not surprising in this show they killed him off. And I really thought for a sec that Sarah was going to wake up because why show her in the hospital when it already seemed like she died in the accident? Also, Rebrov having a dry Yorkshire sense of humour was an unexpected treat.

[strawberryseeded]

i spent the weekend watching various horror movies in netflix (my moms accnt obvs) cos i was too lazy to pir/ate anything. i watched uuh.. konferensen 2023 (it was fine, it was a good time), split 2016 (p good imo tho the superhuman angle was kinda silly to me. but it was interesting. solid. ending was a bit unsatisfying tbh? and the msg quite confusing? like i geddit, empowered victims.. but the kidnapper ended up becoming a perpetrator too? and the fl didnt shoot him in that crucial moment AND they also didnt show what she ended up doing abt her uncle. idk if the plan was 2 make a sequel but it all ended up coming off as.. pretty lukewarm..), the stepfather 2009 (nice. rly straight foward w the premise tho not super focused w its message.. like it was abt family but it gave too much focus to the protags gf? which i thought was a bit juvenile like we get it they are teens in love now lets get back to the dude trying to murder the whole family please.. also i kept thinking the story wud have been fun from the mothers perspective as well.. oh and a bit more bg & development for the killer wud hv been stellar), monster 2023 (indonesian) (plot was p standard (rly reminded me of that free ice cream horror flash game) but i rly liked it visually! rly cool scenography!! it almost had no dialogue & that was rly refreshing and interesting. it really didnt need any), and today i watched longlegs 2024 w my sister (which i did pirat/e)..uuuuummm... ok SPOILERS for longlegs

i rly liked the way it was filmed n the photography. also the music/sound dsgn. the time setting was confusing as hell for me tho?? like idk im not usamerican but the story supossedly took place in the 2000s but it all looked like the 70s to me???? and there are big differences between the 2 eras its not like im THAT period blind. the only scene i thought oh yeah theres no way this is the 70s is a scene in which you can see computers in the bg but anyways. the movie.

it started off GREAT. very eerie.. i had no clue abt the plot or anything btw i went into it completely blind.. so i had no idea if the movie was going for a realistic angle or a more supernatural angle. it rly reminded me of it follows 2014 not bc the fl was played by the same actress (it was) but bc everything that was happening seemed not quite real. like a dream. i loved that..

so ok. its p clear from the beginning that something is p weird (supernatural weird) abt this whole thing. the fl makes my suspicions grow bc shes some sort pf psychic so i though ok the killer is def some kind of hypnotist. i was wrong tho, whatever. lets skip a lot of stuff. plot twist it was the devil all along. i felt kinda silly bc im usually p good/fast understanding movies (esp this type of movies) but i was so confused by the end of this.. i was like huh.. wait what do you mean the devil is real in this story. it was rly easy to catch onto that btw i was just still expecting a psychic weirdo killer angle idk maybe i liked that idea more deep down lol? but it wasnt so my sister was like dude are you serious the devil was right there in one scene and i was like what. she went back to that scene. the devil was right there. oh ok. wait then what about the scene in which the mother shoots the dolls head why did she do that if the deal wasnt over. and what about the surviving victim why did she kill herself after the ball was out of the dolls head. oh god i almost forgot what abt the chief(?)s (no ok i literally cnt remember either his name nor job title im so sorry. yanno lees boss) did not even ONCE say smt like "oh hey my daughter has the same age n bd date than all the other daughters from the victim families. thats peculiar. lets take some measures maybe?" like forget that last part, why wasnt this even BROUGHT UP. another ridiculous thing abt this was the "birthday party" lee was invited to if thats even what you can call it.. most of the movie i was waiting for an actual party, with lots of people (STAKES, yknow?) but lee was literally the only person invited apparently?? what was up w that. also why didnt the fl shoot the dolls head at the bd party in the first place why did she wait until the dad started killing ppl. also the deal was supposed to end with the 13th victim i think so why did the mother say she will keep killing. me & my sister concluded well idk lets sleep on it i guess. yeah.

overall enjoyable and interesting, but i feel like the plot-twist reveal and the ending were a bit idk rushed?? like ill be quite honest i didnt feel anything abt the mother being the accomplice???? it was good in concept but was a bit lacking in execution.. like. why shud i even care.

[marshmallsy]

Some things from Prey (2017) that make me go absolutely insane (based off my recent twt ramblings)

the fact that the player character is asian. it’s not a choice. the default isn’t a white guy. you literally are a mixed-race asian person & that’s IT.

(and also like yeah, smth smth hints of yellow peril whenever the only asian rep we get also comes with scifi futuristic evil unethical-experimenting tech corporations, but WHATEVER, it still made me extremely happy to see so much diversity & representation in a cool rpg)

the fact that mikhaila’s gender doesn’t change so i, a queer half-asian woman, found myself playing a canonically queer half-asian woman. the joy was real.

the WORK put in by devs to make TALOS I genuinely feel like a place people worked and lived in. the ttrpg sessions in the rec room. the whiteboards scrawled with both scifi mumbo-jumbo & dumb jokes from bored scientists goofing around. reminders of garbage days & food in the fridge. mr. glooey mcglooface. the entire existence of the huntress boltcaster being mostly used to annoy coworkers & play silly games.

on the subject of the people, how utterly BATSHIT it is that every single corpse has a name & you can theoretically track every single person down. that they all have full names, their own personalities, that you can read emails or listen to audiologs of them interacting w/ each other, asking each other out on dates, arguing, sharing secrets, making plans with friends. and with very few exceptions, you find them all already dead or brainwashed or turned into phantoms. the premise makes me go feral every single time and I can’t get enough of it.

the fact that this game in general really rewards you for exploration & also requires it on some level, given that by exploring you can find notes/clues to get into safes or locked computers, or keycards to access other areas of the map.

danielle sho and abigail foy. danielle’s last actions being to help you find her lover’s killer before she suffocates out in space. need i say more.

ok, this one really makes me go wild. emmanuel mendez. a single audiolog, a single email, in a dangerous room you technically don’t even have to go in. 

“let’s say you discovered something dangerous. something everyone ought to know about.”

“i’d go out to that billboard and flash it big as vegas on the screen.”

again. this is optional. it’s not even technically a sidequest. you don’t EVER have to do this.

but you can. you can go out into space and fly yourself out to the giant billboards that orbit the station. you can find emmanuel’s corpse and the half-finished data he risked his life trying to transfer. you can choose to finish the upload.

ESCAPE PODS ARE FAKE

and for the rest of the game you see that flashing on the billboards every time you look out a window.

a top-of-the-line space station. conducting secret unethical experiments on human prisoners and aliens. and they sabotaged the escape pods.

god this game is good.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Pretty Boy Detective Club

Mayumi Dojima, a 2nd year middle school student, is searching for something she lost years ago. Help arrives in the form of the unofficial, secretive, and thoroughly mysterious Pretty Boy Detective Club. Rumored to solve problems within the school for their own mostly-aesthetic reasons, these five boys sweep Mayumi into their world of excitement, danger and overwhelming beauty.

Due to my love of mysteries, I am willing to try almost any show that promises a detective of some sort, so didn’t actually bother to read the description for Pretty Boy Detective Club before I started: I figured the key visual and the name told me all I needed to know. I was right, but I also wasn’t prepared for how delightfully bonkers this show is.

It’s ridiculous. It’s entertaining. I love it.

Mayumi is searching for something difficult has a deadline of the next day. About to give up, she meets the perky and chipper president of the Pretty Boy Detective Club who offers her their services. But understand: the club has clients swear their silence to preserve the club’s secretive nature, and they act based on aesthetics rather than financial motivation.

Or in other words: convince them there is beauty in a problem, and they’ll solve it with the enthusiasm.

It was so fun. If you’re familiar with the money-is-no-object gallantry of CLAMP School Detectives, or if you can imagine that Ouran High School Host Club decided to get in on the detecting game, you’ll have a good idea what we’re working with.

Five boys, all extremely different--a punk (or so we’re told), the student council president, a track star, a quiet artist who also runs a corporation, all unified by their devotion to the club’s president, the indefatigable self-described Manabu the Aesthete, whose moniker informs you about his infatuation with all things beautiful (visual or otherwise).

The cases are fine, though they’re not mysteries the viewer will be able to solve. These are character-sleuthing mysteries, so we get to watch these middle schoolers, for example, go undercover to an illegal casino that is also run by middle schoolers.

(The whole middle school thing makes this that much zanier to me, and I love it. There’s adult-level conspiracies and illegal gambling and the average age is like, 12 ½.)

The characters themselves are very fun, and I particularly liked Michiru, the red-headed bad boy (though we never actually see him do anything scary, but are assured that he is scary and good at fighting): he’s blunt and starts to fall into an almost sibling role to Mayumi as the show goes on: watching out for her, lecturing her, cooking.

Mayumi herself is a good protagonist, particularly as she moves from feelings like an outsider to not just being accepted in the club, but accepting that she is part of the club. She’s also sarcastic and more than a little stubborn, the combination of those is a delight to watch as she interacts with people in the latter half of the series.

In keeping with the theme, it’s a very pretty show, not just the characters, but the backgrounds, and the flashes of artistically stylized flashbacks. From the first episode I was enamored with the shiny images and beautiful, sparkling galaxies.

When my roommate walked by as I was 2/3 of the way through, she also remarked on how pretty the show was. Then I tried to explain the premise (”ok, it’s colorful and silly but also there’s a 13-year-old running an underground casino? and there might be a government conspiracy involved? but mostly things are pretty?”), gave up, and restarted the series to watch through with her because it’s just so fun.

Verdict

English dub? Yes!

Visuals: Lovely. Bright colors and shiny for the most part, with artistry and depth when emphasizing things (see the last gif for an example)

Worth watching? Yes. I’d been in a rut recently, alternating between several shows that I liked but which I kinda have to force myself to go back to, and this just pushed all those aside because I had so much fun. I liked it I even started rewatching before I finished so my roommate could get the experience. It’s a recent show, just being released in spring 2021, and now I have to keep checking to see if they’ve announced a second season, because I need more.

Where to watch (USA, as of March 2022): Prime Video (sub only; not free with Prime, you’d have to purchase the episodes or whole season); Funimation (sub and dub)--please note that with the recent announcement of combining Funimation and Crunchyroll’s services, it should be available on Crunchyroll within a couple months.

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[radramblog]

Kaname Date’s optic nerves

AKA, AI: The Somnium Files brainworms.

I burned through the entirety of AI: The Somnium Files over the last few days, after having meant to play it for a couple of months. And while I luckily got through right before Uni started, the brain worms still remain, and so I want to commit some thoughts to digital paper so they can stop spinning around my head.

For those unaware, AI: The Somnium Files is a Mystery Visual Novel series released a couple years ago, written and directed by Kotaro Uchikoshi, who is best known for being the writer/director of the Zero Escape series. While Zero Escape is largely overshadowed by its sister series(?) Danganronpa, it’s an excellent time (the second game, Virtue’s Last Reward, is the best visual novel on the 3DS, fight me Ace Attorney fans), and some of the ideas and themes from it carry through to AI.

The plot of the game centres around Kaname Date, a detective whose division uses a technique called Psyncing to enter the subconscious (or Somnium) of persons of interest in order to piece together facts from their memories. He is assisted by Aiba, an advanced artificial intelligence that lives in his prosthetic left eye, serving as his intelligent, snarky partner. Together, the two investigate a series of murders starting with the death of Date’s best friend’s ex-wife, with her daughter- who Date has essentially been raising for the past 4 years- found at the scene. It’s a solid hook, with a more complex premise than most of Zero Escape’s, but filled with the same scientific and pseudoscientific technobabble that the series is known for.

As far as gameplay goes, I’d put it solidly not as great as ZE. Both centre around visual novel sections interlaid with gameplay sections, however the abstract Psync puzzles tend to be more frustrating and tedious than the escape room sections of Zero Escape, and the QTE-based combat sequences are lame gameplaywise and the jokes behind them don’t really land. This is the only main complaint I have about the writing- Outside of these sequences and Date being super horny for no good reason it’s consistently interesting, witty, and impactful. Aiba and Date’s banter is excellent, and the game has the presence to shoo out the clowns once shit starts getting extra serious.

(Ok look there is a speculative reason for Date being so thirsty but it’s stupid and not technically canon and super spoilery so fuck it)

The presentation is a grand step up from Zero Escape, which was limited by having to release on handheld consoles- to be frank, Zero Time Dilemma looked awful, and Virtue’s Last Reward’s visuals haven’t aged super well. The designs are great, although some of the animations can be a bit janky. The surreal worlds of the Somnium are excellent (with one exception imo), with different moods depending on who’s dream world you’re in- particular highlights being Iris’s silly totally not Minecraft world and the genuinely horrifying final Psync. The music is solid, but nothing stands out as iconic compared to ZE’s Morphogenetic Sorrow (and the pantry theme from VLR, that shit is a banger).

Overall I think this game is absolutely worth the time it takes, between the gripping story and lovable characters (and Ota). The reason I’m specifying this now is because I want to quickly talk about some things that are spoilers, so if you don’t want a spoil (and I don’t want you to have a spoil if you’re gonna give it a go) then don’t keep reading, just pretend this doesn’t exist, see you tomorrow.

Spoilers below for both AI: The Somnium Files and the Zero Escape series.

One of my favourite things about Date’s character in this game is his Big Dad Energy. In my (limited) experience, stories about single dads, adoptive are not, are rare, and the way the relationship between him and Mitsuki (and, later, Iris) very much suits this theme. While Date basically “adopted” Mitsuki out of necessity, it’s clear- especially in her ending route, that the two deeply care for each other, regardless of how they outwardly communicate.

The other thing I wanted to discuss is the interesting inversion AI’s story takes as compared to Zero Escape. Zero Escape (mostly just 999 and VLR) have a relatively simple premise- a bunch of people captured and forced into a death game for their lives- that slowly unravels into a much much larger mystery involving supernatural elements, conspiracy theories, and secret organisations. Just about every time someone in those games waxes philosophical or theoretical about some idea, concept, or story, that thing ends up being plot relevant in some way.

Uchikoshi knows that a large chunk of the audience for AI is Zero Escape fans, and the game takes advantage of this. The Iris route is essentially a trap for ZE veterans- she’s worried about a secret society called Naixatloz (sic?), and conspiracy theories, all of which appear to tie into the game’s plot. Trusting her beliefs lead to arguably the game’s silliest route, with a patently absurd fight sequence leading into a final Psync and the game screeching to a halt as she suddenly dies. Did Naixatloz finally get her?

No, because they aren’t real. Because she’s got terminal brain cancer, and has hallucinated a conspiracy into her worldview. This route implies a case of parallel universes, a constant theme in ZE, but it later turns out to be a case of mistaken identity. While most of the concepts discussed in each route are relevant to the plot in some way, these aren’t and a lot of people fell for it- according to a poll in the game’s subreddit, Iris’s route was the second most common first route, and it likely would have been higher had it not required getting arguably the bad ending to the first decision point.

In fact, the only supernatural element outside of the pseudoscientific stuff about Psyncing and Aiba is memories passing through timelines, a constant factor in Zero Escape- which interestingly, is left unexplained. It’s like Uchikoshi is saying, “you know what the deal is here, I know what the deal is here, don’t worry too hard about why Date knows what the deal is here”. This lack of explanation has lead many to believe that AI and ZE take place in the same universe, and that the cause of this phenomena is identical to that in Zero Escape- but the point is that it doesn’t matter.

At the end of the day, sci-fi nonsense aside, AI: The Somnium Files’ story is essentially about a revenge plot. A psychotic serial killer accidentally ended up outside of his own body, and wants to make it’s current owner suffer by killing people close to him before he takes it back for himself. Of course, it’s never that simple with a mystery story, but you get the idea. AI essentially inverts Zero Escape by having a fantastical premise that boils down to a simple story, rather than a simple premise that balloons into an expansive story- and I think that’s really interesting.

[illusionlockarchive]

romeos huge rant on comedy, horror, and how they interlap

ok, so. full disclosure, what got me to make this post was this joke post right here.

so the initial premise is funny, haha okay. yeah. oh youre a kid and your punishment at school is that you have to stay at a room full of wasps. its funny because its absurd. it couldnt happen irl. youd think it wouldnt happen irl. youd hope so.

the thing about comedy and horror though? is that they actually operate on very similar concepts.

and that is, the absurd. the uncanny valley. what youre expecting the least. what youre not seeing and not registering. jumpscares are effective if at least to get you to jump, even if they are cheap. meanwhile, jokes where they completely twist your expectations to get you to laugh do the same thing.

it may be hard for you to believe me, but in the end, the bad ending of tattletail is the other side of the same coin as a joke that goes “i swallowed a tablet with some water. everyone on the apple store was terrified of me.”

i have not read the wasp story, but i can guaranteee you, i CAN imagine it being scary, if the right tones are used and suspense is built up nicely. with the right twists and turns, knowing when to keep things quiet and when to blow things out of proportion.

OR it can end up being unintentionally hilarious, if the characters in it are way too cliche to be real and feel more like caricatures of teachers and students, if things are rushed and details lose their meaning and value, if we are just to focus on being an audience watching a kid get chased around by a swarm of wasps, instead of putting ourselves in their place.

im neglecting to mention something though. horror is not the TRUE other side of the coin to comedy. no, thats tragedy. and im sure many more people have heard of that. the two masks used in theater, one happy, the other sad.

and now we come to two very interesting modifiers. im sure youve heard of the term ‘horror comedy’ to refer to a subgenre of horror that does have jokes and silly things still happening, and may not take itself all that seriously. but why is it a specified subgenre? because MOST horror is tragedy.

this is why, despite liking many horror games or even stories, in the end i still dont consider myself someone who actually likes horror as a general genre. most horror focuses on the seriousness of the faults of humans, on our fragility, on all we can lose or are even bound to lose, on the fear that what we feel so confident about having close to us can be snatched away in a second, that our sense of reality can crumble. most horror? doesnt end well.

comedies in general tend to focus on the absurdity of life, on how many silly, strange, or even uncanny situations can happen that can challenge us, but not in a harsh way, but in a way that, despite so many bad things happening, we still get to point and laugh it off and be okay at the end of the day.

literally, all it takes for a tragedy to become a comedy, and vice versa, is a tonal shift. when i told of my idea to create this post to my boyfriend, he backed me up, and told me “the difference between horror and comedy is in the soundtrack and silly sound effects”. hes right.

of course, there are things that you should have the decency to not laugh at, still. to keep your mouth shut and know when to reject. but good comedy knows how to stray away from that, and good tragedy knows how to handle it respectfully without making it torture porn.

so, as horror hinges on tragedy, on the fear that we all know we must face in our lives, because a scream is as natural as laughter, so horror comedies are born as an interesting paradox.

a year or so ago, i got the opportunity to watch the banana splits syfy movie. i was a huge fan of the banana splits as a kid, and would often watch their reruns. those silly furries meant a lot to me. but im not stupid, i know thats a horror movie, i went in kinda knowing what to expect.

it was a gore fest, and for about two or three nights i had trouble getting to sleep. i wasnt actually scared of my childhood friends in animal costumes, as i knew how absurd and irrational my fear was, but just the images of the massacre being fresh in my mind were enough to send me into a panic if i lingered for too long, which can happen, you know, when youre about to sleep.

(TW FOR DESCRIPTION OF A MANS DEATH AND GORE, IF YOURE SQUEAMISH JUMP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH)

i think a scene that perfectly blurs the lines between comedy and tragedy, as well as just plain horror in it, is the scene where a man gets killed by being put in a magicians box and sliced in half as a ‘magic trick’ by fleegle, the dog. as he pleads for his life, and his soon to be wife watches in horror and pleads for the robot dog to stop (yeah theyre robots in this, weird), fleegle continues to slice him in half and blood spurts out, until he is dead, and fleegle just happily and proudly showcases what he has done, as if he just did a real magic trick.

(END TW FOR DEATH AND GORE DESCRIPTION)

watching that was horrifying, of course it was. but at the same time, it was what i wanted and expected when i thought about “banana splits horror movie”. fleegle just did something completely absurd and entirely uncalled for. and what doubles the uncaniness of it is that it was supposed to be something harmless, a magic trick. think about this if it was in an adult swim cartoon. the same thing could still happen, but be treated as just a weird, gross joke. fleegle could even swear, say ‘heres your fucking magic trick damnit! oh you dont like it, well i quit!’ n then throw his hat on the ground and step on it.

they are essentially the same scene, but the cartoon version of it is presented in a way that shows full on just how absurd and unexpected it is, without any seriousness to it, probably without any moody music to accompany it. meanwhile the movie one focuses on the fear, grief, and horror of putting us in the shoes of a woman who just watched the man she loved be killed, with the shots being extra impactful.

in the end, the banana splits syfy movie is a horror comedy though, because most of the movie is spent finding the most creative, absurd, borderline funny ways for people to be killed off. as you watch it along, you dont know whether to laugh at the weirdness and absurdity of the events or to genuinely feel grief and fear over the bodies piling up.

i could also just go over a million other examples available to me right now. in fact, as of the time im writing this, i have the latest vinesauce corruption stream pulled on youtube. during corruptions, the most bizarre and absurd things happen, and often times, things get scary. we see the video game characters we love be deformed and twisted in ways that you can only imagine hurt, but they still act as if thats normal! so you cant help but laugh.

earlier today, i watched a gameplay video of bonbon. its a short horror game, with a very... different antagonist. i wont spoil much, because, i dont want to deter people from buying it. but i will say, there is a reveal at the end, which slaps you in the face with the realization that you have been played for a fool all along, and the developers would probably laughing at you if they saw you after youve beat the game. its a joke, and the fear that they cultivated so lovingly, is the punchline. your fear becomes a punchline. to me thats one of the highest forms of blurring horror and comedy, and one i prefer to some more gory and harsh attempts.

and i mean, i have to mention fnaf here, dont i? its a great example too, particularly because, if you look at the games by themselves, they generally take themselves pretty seriously as horror stories, minus a few odd cases or references. but they just have enough wiggle room that, if you look at them from afar, as an audience, you can take these characters youre supposed to be afraid of, and have fun with them, because it is pretty damn absurd, and even funny at the end of the day, that youre expected to be afraid of essentially big, robotic childrens toys. and thats when many fun, fan renditions that focus on lighthearted situations pop up. vanny herself is pretty funny even! the idea of a person who dresses up in a full fursuit to do crimes is pretty hilarious.

all in all, i think i just really appreciate how horror and comedy can converse with each other and how that says something about how we, as humans, are easily made impressed, made to be surprised and shocked, to jump or to laugh. and we are always looking for that thrill, it just depends on if youre looking for laughs or screams.

so yeah, maybe ‘wasp room’ can be a pretty good story. is it a horror story or a comedy? we wont know until we read it. (also if you made it to the end reading this holy shit i love you , i fully recognize i talked way too much)

[elejah-verse]

Hellbound/2

Fanfiction

Part 2

This a tvd+to fanfiction story. Totally AU.

Premise:

The  Mikaelsons helped the Mystic Falls Scoobies fight a clan of ancient  werewolves called the Hundings. Klaus and Caroline paid the ultimate  price, as well as Damon. But as it is the case in the magical world of  the Mystic Falls vampires, death is not the end.

There is  also a new adventure looming for the Mystic Falls Scoobies and their now  friends, the Original vampires, as everything is somehow always  connected to them. And so, they are Hellbound…

Main pairings_ Elijah MIkaelson x Elena Gilbert,

Rebekah Mikaelson x Stefan Salvatore

Kol Mikaelson x Bonnie Bennett

Damon Salvatore x Katherine Pierce

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

thanks for reading - xoxo

In Halifax, Nova Scotia

Elijah woke up before anyone and sat down in the garden of the house they were inhabiting while they were in Nova Scotia. Taking a photo from his bag, his mind wondered back to the events a few months back.

Flashback

Mystic Falls, The Mikaelson House

"I suppose you are who I think you are!" Elijah said coolly.

The woman was calm not fearing the vampire and then introduced herself.

"My name is Eilif. I am Esther’s cousin -like you have been told by my messenger."

"Where is Klaus?" the vampire wanted to know, still not moving or showing any pleasant emotion to the woman.

"Your cousin is safe," the woman replied, "but at present I cannot tell you where his body is - not before we resolve the family matter and his allegiance to this family."

"What family? Klaus is my brother!"

"No. He is your cousin - as I am your mother!" the woman said looking at the vampire with apprehensive, but steady eyes.

“What are you talking about? You are not my mother - my mother is Esther.”

“No, she is not. It is a long story. The time has come to reveal your true identity.”

“What?” Elijah looked at the woman in completely disbelief. Elijah drew a deep breath.

“I am a norn. A being that dwells between the world of men and the world of keepers of universe, living in the place the humans called heaven, but in actual fact my home is the wind, the river, the woods, the mountains, the gletschers, the meadows. We are keepers of  nature, we can see and hear things but can never meddle, unless the elders ordered it in certain occasions. This time I could not stand by and let you, my son, nor your cousins be warned of the danger that is arising. I could have left you clues, but my mother's heart prevailed this time. I wanted to step out many times and made myself known to you, especially after you had become a vampire. That had changed so much for me. You becoming a supernatural being, made it more easily to follow you.”

“Are you ok?” Elena said breaking the Original’s thoughts as she stepped out into the garden.

“I am fine. Just - thinking about - everything - her.” Elijah said putting the frame with the picture down on the table.

“It is kind of still mind-blowing that you are - a prince.” Elena said.

“I am not.”

“But your father was a king.” Elena then said. “This is so like Games of Thrones.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. It’s a TV show - and books - nevermind. She said that more is to come and that all this with the Hundings is far from over.” Elena now reminded the vampire.

“Yes.This is why I wish I could get in touch with her.”

“She said that she won’t be able to come back - or?”

“There must be a way.” Elijah said, and then put a small smile on, his eyes sparkling with warmth. “I wanted to tell you that I - had fun last night - as Kol would put it.”

“I’m glad. We need to have fun. Too much sad things happened - and Caroline and - other would want us to have fun, too. But talking about Caroline - I called Jeremy this morning. They didn’t get in touch with him. He tried, but it looks like the link is broken or something.” Elena said.

“Well, one good thing is - they are together.” Elijah said.

“Yeah. And we haven’t lost them completely.

*

Meanwhile

In Yarmouth, Nova Scotia

Francesca Guerrera sat down with one of her confindantes.

"You done it?! And did you manage to find the amulet?!

"No. The old woman wouldn't talk. It wasn't in the house." Oliver said.

"We need it for the unification ritual,"Francesca said,"it's in their family. Where the hell has the woman hid it?!"

"According to the legend you need the blood of the werewolf trinity of the three oldest bloodlines...and Jackson is dead?! Plus, the ancient witch that apparently has the spell still is nowhere to be found?!"

"I have it all covered. I will let you on a little secret if you promise to be the faithful wolf you swore in blood to be."

"I swore more than that my Queen" Oliver said.

"I know. This will also be a test of your fidelity" Francesca said.

Oliver now eagerly waited for her to let him in on the secret and she said smirking, "Jackson Dumas is alive!"

"Why the pretence?!" Oliver shoot up.

"To break Hayley's spirit."

"But she still has the girl. How is it breaking her spirit?!"

"You are one dumb wolf. Sexy, but dumb. You don't know about anything if love, being alpha and wolf families?! "

"The whole pack would look after the young?!"

"Not if you prove that the young is not from their bloodline" Francesca said.

"Hayley had the girl with someone else and not with Jackson?! But he claimed her as her own?!"

"Yes. But her father comes from an ancient bloodline too. And we have the trinity we need. It worked perfectly"

"Who is the father of the child?!" Oliver asked.

"Mason Lockwood" Francesca said.

*

In Halifax

Kol woke up with a slight headache. The magical herbs to control him had a side-effect and he hated taking them, but he knew that if he stopped, he wouldn’t be able to keep his blood lust under control, as well as his temper.

Too many werewolves in the club proved to be too much for Kol. It was good Elijah managed to anticipate Kol's seizure moment when he ripped into a woman. He managed to get him off, compelling the woman to forget what had happened. Elena was right behind him to heal the girl. To Bonnie it looked like they just did everything in two seconds. Kol was fuming, but Elijah was convincing enough to bring him back into his mellow state somehow.

“Good morning” Elijah said to his brother Kol as he and the other’s joined him in the kitchen.

"I thought you have things under control?!" Elijah said angrily, but still in a very calm manner.

"I don't need a babysitter?!" Kol sifted.

Elijah sighed a little. He didn't want to continue with the argument or act like a smart older brother.

"It wasn't my intention, but you have to exercise control. You need to manage it a little bit better! We don't want to attract unwanted attention. At least not till we get more information." Elijah said.

Kol agreed. Controling his emotions and instincts have never been his strong point, not even as a child. His heart ached for being tossed away by Sophie, spuring emotions that made him want to lash out.

Elijah's phone buzzed and he looked at the message that Elena sent.

'Following a guy with a triple crescent tattoo. Couldn't be compelled"

He updated Kol about the message.

"So, the night proved to be fruitful. You know what such good luck means?!'

"Yes. Too good to be true. They know we are here!" Elijah said.

"You are not worried about Elena?!" Kol asked.

"She can handle herself. She is not a hopeless little girl"

"No, she is very much a shield-maiden, I see why you admire her so much." Kol said. "I admire her for a lot more than her ability to fight."

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“And what if I am?” Elijah said tilting his head making a little pout.

"Not surprising - knowing your history with the doppelgangers.” Kol remarked.

“This is different. Also, everything about me and Tatia wasn’t true.” Elijah said.

“About you killing her, but that night at Samhain - you were together?”

“We were - but -”

“What?”

“She didn’t want to commit.” Elijah said.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes.” Elijah said followed by a silent sigh.

“I am out. Still hungry. This pig’s blood is vile.”

"I thought you’d be homebound. Wasn't Sophie supposed to be here by now -or is your heart swayed in another direction?!" Elijah referred to Kol and Bonnie’s good time the night before.

"The Bennet witch?! Hm -she’s got spunk, I must admit that." Kol said chuckling a bit.

*

Elsewhere

Elena and Bonnie followed the crescent tatoo guy to his destination. He walked into a house that looked very expensive, in a wealthy part of the city.

"He couldn't be compelled." Elena said to Bonnie."But it wasn't vervain?!"

"It was hilarious watching you play a silly drunk explaining to him that you see psychodelic something in his eyes. Still can't get over it that you can do all vampire stuff and you are not one?!"

"Feels weird too, trust me. I can be an actress, right! Never thought of that"

"We are now high school drop outs." Bonnie remarked.

"I know. When all this is over, I will do school. Did you know that Elijah actually has degrees in arhitecture, World literature several times over."

"He seriously went to university?!" Bonnie couldn't believe it.

"Yep. When he was a man, it was expected of him to be a warrior and a farmer, but he loved construction."

"So weird when you talk about them as normal humans who had dreams and wishes," Bonnie remarked,"so, what’s this thing about you doing drama?! I thought you wanted to be a doctor?"

"I don't know. I wanted to be a doctor like my dad, but now I don't know."

"The way things go, I kinda doubt we will ever have a normal life." Bonnie said. “It also gets me that you are this enhanced human and that you can compell and do like everything the Originals do.”

“It’s crazy - yeah. Ok. Let’s look for the - whatever we are looking for.”

They collected enough info about the place. Elena now called Elijah. The witch and the doppelganger caught a taxi and went back to the Compound.

*

Back in the Mikaelson’s current compound

"When the witches channelled the Hunding magic and their covens, the balance between our two worlds was disturbed." Sophie said over the  video call from New York.

"Right, and that means exactly what?" Rebekah said waiting for a very bad answer.

"It's our fault, too." Sophie continued.

"Sophie, please no riddles. Tell us what is going on?!" Rebekah urged the witch to speak clearly.

"They used a very potent dark magic. And I have done that too, with enhancing your ability to fight against them."

Stefan now jumped into the conversation, "And now we have strange side effects, right?!"

“Yep.” Sophie said.

"I don't feel anything." Rebekah uttered.

"Not yet. I tried to check things out about it, but I have no knowledge of it. I will need to get to Eilif somehow."

"Elijah said that she would not be coming back?!" Rebekah said.

"Well, we need to get hold of her. The disturbance is not only here, but also in the spirit world." Sophie said.

"Don't tell me that Sigrid Mikaelson has something to do with it?!" Rebekah scoffed a little.

"I have not found anything about her. That is why we need Eilif." Sophie replied and looked at Elijah, who came into the living room.

“Can you get to - my mother?” Elijah asked.

“I will try.” Sophie said. “We need answers.”

“Right.” Elijah said, and updated the witch on Elena and Bonnie finding the place where the triple crescent guy lived.

“They are something called ‘the shadowhunters’ - directly linked to Hell,” Sophie said, “and according to what I know - the Hell witches!”

“Hell witches?!” Elijah repeated.

“Yes. Do you know about them?”

Elijah went quiet, nodding a little.

“Right, you guys, I will see what else I can find here. See you in NOLA soon.” Sophie said.

“Yes.” Rebekah said and as Sophie hung up, she turned to Elijah. “You ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“You are still our brother, same as Klaus. Nothing’s changed.” Kol said.

“I know - still - “ Elijah started but stopped.

“It’s always and forever no matter whether you are a Mikaelson or not.” Rebekah said. 

“Thank you.” Elijah put a small smile on. So many things had changed in the past months, some good and some awkwardly unusual. With all the strange revelations, they were closer than ever, and his heart was glad.

*

In the spirit world, Klaus and Caroline found themselves in an unusual place, as they finished their talk with Lexi, and as they tried to get out of Caroline's house, they found themselves in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. But there was no town, only a viking settlement.

"Where are we?" Caroline asked. "I know this is so weird in this world, but how do we get to do time traveling?"

"There is no time here." Klaus explained." I believe this is some foul magic."

"And I thought, being dead will exempt us from the whole thing." Caroline said.

"Well, the note about finding Sigrid Mikaelson didn't come by regular post?!" Klaus said.

"No. It would be too weird to have something regular." Caroline said. She looked at him now as there was a certain change in him as if he got fond memories return to him from time passed. "You look like you have come home?!"

Klaus smiled a little in his usual fashion and took her by the hand, "Come...let us walk through the village."

Soon it was clear to them that they could not be seen by the people. They could not hear them, but only observe them. Till a woman came up to them. Klaus recognized straight away by the woman's dress that she was a witch. She addressed him in old norse, asking him to follow her into the woods.

"Ok- can you translate?" Caroline sifted.

"We are ghosts and before that we were vampires and she actually summoned me!"

"You, of course!" Caroline was miffed.

"Sorry love, us." Klaus said.

"I bet it is a Mikaelson thing" Caroline remarked.

They stopped at a point in the woods where a white oak tree stood among different pine trees.

Caroline could see Klaus cringe seeing the tree.

Then the woman spoke again in old norse, "What is she saying?" Caroline was annoyed for not understanding a word.

"Basically, the Hell witches spoke to her and apparently the disturbance in the spirit world believe it or not is ours to resolve," Klaus turned to Caroline, "according to her, the Gods have sent for us"

"Gods, right?! What else will I hear, seriously, does she know that we are vampires?!"

"Actually, we are not vampires anymore, just ghosts, who apparently according to her have a direct link to Asgard!" Klaus smirked a little.

Caroline rolled her eyes and huffed.

They could both see that the witch looked in awe and slight horror as she saw a woman appear  from nowhere and addressed Klaus and Caroline.

With a hand wave she closed the veil between the witch and them.

"She needn't know what is coming yet!" Skuld, one of the norns said to Caroline and Klaus.

"Who are you?" Caroline wanted to know.

"My name is Skuld, people refer to me as the norn of the future, although fate is such a diverse thing and it is interwoven like the roots of Yggdrasil. If it wasn't so all would be so much easier. Anyway, not to divert from the serious matter, which is the disturbance in magic and balance of the natural world.  We can hear, see, know things but we cannot directly participate, although it has been done before, and because of it mayham is in front of our doors."

"This is going to be lengthy!"- Klaus then said.

Skuld smiled a little "yes, it will. It started a long time ago, people say before time. Vampires, that you were, are also creatures from before time. "

"Just tell us what we have to do! I guess we have to save the spirit world?!"- Caroline interrupted.

"Yes. If you put it that simply. I am here to pass my magic to you and make you a valkyrie, although you already are one!" Skuld said to Caroline taking hold of her hand.

Caroline could feel the same surge of magic go through her as Sophie had done with the enhancement spell.

Caroline could now sea a seal on her wrist as if she was branded. Klaus heard stories as a boy about shield-maidens who would tatoo the valkyrie wings.

"The Hell witches are like no other witches you have seen so far. They will use magic and swords like they are one." Skuld said.

Caroline now looked at her and asked her about how and when it was going to happen.

"You will know. Soon. Gather your army. I will see you again.” Skuld said and as she appeared, she disappeared.

"Ugh, this is exactly like it happened with Elijah's mom!! They come and go and leave you with no real clue!!" Caroline said and then looked at Klaus as if she just realized what had happened. "Am I supposed to lead a ghost army against those Hell witches?!"

"It appears to be so!" Klaus said smiling at her cheekily and looking at his beloved with great admiration, before he pulled her into a kiss, "I knew there was something so much more to you!”

*

Flashforward

”We should check everything about the Hell witches. I remember reading about them once when I lived in Marrakesh in the 13th century.” Elijah said.

”We go to Marocco?” Elena cocked a quizzical eyebrow at the Original.

” Yes. There is someone I used to know. An old acquaintance of mine, Aya Al-Rashid knows about them.”

”Ok. Let’s go then.”

[jiminrings]

PLS 🥺 if you can, can you like write a bullet fic based off the teaser photo and that anon that mentioned fresh prince of Bel air or something? LIKE TOTALLY COOL IF YOU DON'T but that idea just came into my head and wouldn't frikn lEave

it’s the 90s, the boys need a dog-sitter at the frat house, and you jUst happened to be yoongi’s favorite best friend

they did research

they really dID

even read the dog lover section in the newspaper and even went to the library withOut namjoon forcing them to

but there’s just this one variable they haven’t expected

jin charmed the superiors hence them being the only frat house that was allowed to have pets within the premises

jimin bought the dog food and hobi even added in those kinda expensive milk bones

yoongi bought newspaper by bulk so they could pick up little yeontan’s poop

namjoon bought a lil dustpan but yoongi made him realize that it meant he alsO needed to clean that dustpan because it would smell

“but i could use a sPONGE to clean it up!!”

“and have taehyung mistaken it for the dish sponge??”

speaking of taehyung, he’s the one who bought the dog bed because after all, he iS the one who had the primary idea for them to adopt the baby pomeranian

jungkook,,, well,,,,

he bought a new duvet

“how is a queen-sized duvet relevant for a puppy that’s as big as my fOREARM???”

“well we could share the covers, i guess.,.,.”

the big problem is that

well uh

aha

no oNE thought it through that no one would be left with yeontan when they’re in their classes

they all practically have the same schedules

and bringing a tiny pomeranian to class would wreak hAVOC

jin and yoongi are seniors and that meant they have more leeway and their schedules were perhaps more... convenient

atleast one of them could stay behind with yeontan and they’d take their turns in between breaks and off-days

but everyone

just eVERYONE forgot that oh right.,.,.

jin-hyung models for magazines and catalogs in his free time.,.,.,

yoongi-hyung is a basketball player.,.,.,.

aha.,.,

wait hold on

“then nO ONE could take care of tannie!!”

jimin suddenly squeals and it takes a collective second for them to groan and wallow

alternatively they could just leave yeontan by himself as if he’s a guard dog

but uHhH a four-month old pomeranian won’t exactly stop the neigborhood fratboy kleptomaniac

and tannie has some problems with him that it’s most recommended to take care of him 24/7

or atleast have an eye on him

he’s also quite the drama queen because yEs he can eat from the bowl but no he won’t <3 feed him straight from ur palm pls <3

“if only someone could take care of tannie for us...”

okay yoongi thINK THINK

let’s be rational you can’t have the other guys from the other frats to take care of yeontan no sir

maybe he can fit yeontan into his duffel bag and take him to practice??

wait no he’s gonna pee on the hardwood floors

a baby-sitter?? no tannie’s a pUPPY

dog-sitter????

hold up

is that a tHING

OKAY YOONGI THINK

who do you know that likes dogs and would be able to provide sufficient care for yeontan while you’re all busy? do you know anyone from childhood that-

“Y/N!!!”

lol did he just say that out loud

jimin’s beside him and the younger boy presses the back of his hand to yoongi’s neck and well he dOesn’t have a fever

aHHh your name sounds so familar to namjoon

he does recall yoongi talking about you on multiple occasions!!

oh that’s right!!! you’re THE friend

you’re yoongi’s younger friend that he always felt like protecting growing up because he felt indebted to you on one occasion

everyone’s now remembering the story that yoongi would tell them whenever he passed by a relatively large dog LMAOOO

so you and yoongs were next-door neighbors right

and jackson, you’re oTHER next-door neighbor had this hUGE dog

an absolute unit

but everything seems huge when you’re five years old

and yoongi just wanted to come over to your house because you sAID there would be ice pops

and all he sees by your lawn is a fucking sAINT BERNARD that just looked so gigantic to him

yoongi was a lil scared of dogs but after seeing this dog??? yes he may have peed his pants :D

but lucky for him!!!

oF COURSE

you stepped in and reasured him that nOOo he won’t bite you silly!!! look!!! we’re friends!!!

to make an even bolder point that your five-year old ass could do, you even booped saturn the saint bernard’s nOse!! :D

anyways

you and yoongi were probably inseperable after then

you dO go to the same college but you’re just in a different department yet the same campus, so it’s just some blocks away!!!

everyone seemed to be game with the idea because why not!! let’s have y/n take care of tannie eVEN if yoongi is the only out of all of us who knows her!!!

no practice runs or anything like that

just full-on straight to the deal

everyone has their schedules and you’re all free!!!

so yoongi made everyone sHOWER and atleast look more than presentable to his esteemed best friend

not gonna lie you r vERY excited to meet yeontan!!

and yoongi you guess ://

lmao ok the bangtan frat in general because of cOurse they’re famous around campus!!!

(( you even heard that one of them models for white-button ups at the catalog ))

it just hasn’t sinked in you that yoongi belongs to the same frat you’ve been curious about for a long time now

you could have asked him but well you’re probably sure he wouldn’t answer you anyway

aND SO THE BELL RANG

and taehyung is the first to get to the door because he mUst know who you are and if tannie’s gonna like you

jin came crashing next, and then hoseok, tHEN jungkook and the rest

wow

are you.... real

you look so sTUNNING in your purple and pink windbreaker!!

not to mention the fact that your lil hoop earrings and ur cuban link necklace add sO much!!!! your letter bracelet makes them want to CRUMBLE

“hi, which one of you is yeontan?”

wait

w hat

everyone has a different mixture of emotions on their faces and gOd they even have their jaws dropped

did she just...

did y/n just........

do i....

yoongi snOrts and the first thing he does is crash onto you for a hug

before flicking your forehead <3

okay that hURT

you’re about to fully walk in but it takes everyone a collective second to realize What Just Happened

hee-hee

jimin’s mid-way into popping the lollipop to his mouth

it’s already perched on his lips if you must know but it was delayed because well you asked them wHICH ONE OF THEM WAS YEONTAN

but before he could even think further, you’re wordlessly grabbing the sucker from him, popping it straight to your mouth before winking

“was jus’ kidding!!”

oh

my

gOD

if you just turned around and looked closely

if you jUST spent a second more with them without being whisked away by yoongi, you’d see!!

hobi’s right eye twitching

jimin checking himself for a fever

jin and namjoon flicking each other’s foreheads so they could wAke the fuck up

taehyung with his hand over his mouth

and jungkook earnestly slapping himself

what are we thinking about this lil drabble?? sHOULD it be a fic??? TELL ME UR THOUGHTS PLS

[9worldstales]

INTERESTING POINTS TO PONDER FROM INTERVIEWS 7

Interviews might not remain forever available or not be easy to find so I’ve decided to link them and transcribe the points I find of some interest so as to preserve them should the interview had to end up removed.

It’s not complete transcriptions, just the bits I think can be relevant but I wholeheartedly recommend reading the whole thing.

And of course I also comment all this because God forbid I’ll keep silent… :P

Title: EXCLUSIVE: Screenwriter Don Payne Talks Thor!

Author: Elisabeth Rappe

Published: Feb 23, 2011

BEST BITS FROM THE INTERVIEW

ABOUT THE SCRIPT FOR “THOR”

Thor has seen a lot of screenwriters come and go, and I imagine that led to some very drastic changes to the character and story. Can you talk at all about that process, and what changes were made over the course of project? (For example, I know rumors swirled very early that the Thor movie would be an origin story with his alter ego, Dr. Donald Blake!) How did the script come together? At what point in the process did you come on board, and what was your contribution?

Don Payne: First off, for the record, the final, official WGA writing credits for the film are “Story by J. Michael Straczynski and Mark Protosevich, Screenplay by Ashley Edward Miller & Zack Stentz and Don Payne.” Any other writing credits you might have seen elsewhere are either outdated or incorrect.

As far as how the script came together, J. Michael Straczynski and Mark Protosevich worked on the project before Kenneth Branagh came on board to direct. At that point, Ken and Marvel sat down and decided exactly what kind of story they wanted to tell. They took everything that had been written so far and figured out a game plan. Marvel then hired Ashley Miller and Zack Stentz, and, as I understand it, those guys worked pretty intensely on the screenplay over the course of four or five months. After they left the project, Marvel hired me, and I stayed on all the way through the end — about a year and a half total. For the first eight months, I continued to develop, rewrite, and restructure the screenplay, bringing in new characters and new scenes. I worked closely with Ken and Marvel throughout the process, and, as the cast came together, I worked with Ken and the actors during rehearsals here and in London.

Then, once production started in January 2010, I was on set writing every day, both at the studio in Manhattan Beach and on location in New Mexico, and continued to work through post-production.

I’d like to say more about how the script has evolved since the very beginning of the development process, but I don’t want to spoil anything. I hate spoilers. (Mostly because I’m weak, and I can’t resist them myself!) But I’ll be happy to talk about it all after the film comes out. What I can say is that this really has been the greatest writing experience of my life. I’ve never worked harder or been as closely involved day-to-day on a project as I have on Thor.

And as far as Thor’s alter-ego goes, as Kevin Feige has said, people looking for a Donald Blake reference might just find one.

ABOUT THOR’S JOURNEY AND FAMILY

I know you’ve worked with iconic superheroes before, was Thor more or less daunting to deal with? He’s a real anachronistic, medieval character. How do you bring that into the modern world? Is it ultimately the same as trying to make any superhero realistic and relatable?

Don Payne: Well, I think the challenges are pretty apparent. As you say, Thor’s a unique character, and it’s an unusual story we’re telling. When you’ve got something like Captain America, the premise is easier to get right away — he’s a superhero fighting Nazis in World War II. Whereas we’ve got an extra-dimensional being once worshipped as a god by the ancient Norse who’s banished to earth and stripped of his powers to learn humility, all set amidst the Shakespearean intrigue of a dysfunctional royal family. It’s not as simple to grasp.

You just have to find the things that make Thor timeless and relatable as a character. It certainly helps that he’s charismatic and likeable, albeit flawed. He’s banished for good reason, but I think people will want to go on the journey with him and root for him to find redemption — particularly with Chris Hemsworth’s performance.

I think what really makes Thor relatable are the family relationships. There’s a lot of dysfunction in the House of Odin. Thor’s got a hard-ass father and a jealous brother. But for all of Thor’s hardheaded rebelliousness, he, like Loki, is really just trying to live up to his father’s expectations and make him proud. I think people can relate to that father and son dynamic.

ABOUT SIF, THE WARRIORS THREE AND HEIMDALL

What can you tell me about the parts popular Asgardians such as Heimdall, the Warriors Three, and Sif play in the overall plot? Will we see more of them in other Marvel movies? Is there potential for a Sif spinoff, as she has enjoyed in the comics?

Don Payne: The Warriors Three and Sif are very much like they are in the comics. They’re fierce warriors who are fiercely dedicated to their friend Thor. They’ll follow him anywhere — which might not always be the wisest thing. Also, as in the comics, Heimdall is bound by duty and honor to guard his post on the Rainbow Bridge, and he’s got serious issues with anyone who tries to cross it who would endanger Asgard.

As far as seeing these characters in other movies or their own spin-off films, I think Marvel already has a full slate of projects in development, so I imagine we’ll only see them as part of the Thor franchise. But you never know. I’d ask Kevin Feige if I were you!

ON THE HUMOUR OF THE MOVIE

One element that jumped out at me in the trailer was the comedy – it felt very light and natural, not corny. (Jane reacting to Thor’s name, for example, or the coffee cup scene.) How did you strike the balance between the comedy and drama of the piece? Were there moments where you thought “Ok, this goes too far with the fish-out-of-water joke”?

Don Payne: Well, my hope is we’ve included just enough humor in the script, but no more than that. This isn’t a comedy, and that’s not what I was hired to do. It’s an action film, and, as in all action films, you need those fun moments. But you have to do it sparingly. You don’t want things to get silly.

One thing we all agreed about early on was to make sure we were careful about how we approached the fish-out-of-water moments. We didn’t want Thor to come to earth and suddenly become an idiot for comic relief. Even without his powers, he’s the same person on earth as he was in Asgard — a smart, headstrong warrior. He’s a being from an advanced race who’s used to travelling to other worlds and thinking on his feet. We didn’t want him looking at a television set and going, “What is yon magic box, with phantoms that move and speak inside it?”

Still, he’s on unfamiliar turf, and there’s some fun in that. You just have to find the right balance. You also want to have fun moments and dialogue during the action sequences, so you put those into the script. Of course, those bits are the easiest to cut in editing if you find the jokes are too much or too distracting. You can pick and choose.

ON JANE AND DARCY

I particularly liked how Jane and Darcy react to Thor’s arrival. They aren’t immediately throwing themselves at him. They think he’s hot, but likely to be crazy. I know you’re a staunch feminist, so I imagine their portrayal was important to you. Can you talk about how you approached them? It seems rare to have two girls in a single Marvel film, possibly competing for Thor’s attention. How did that play into the romance, and how did you approach the relationship between Thor and Jane? Did Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings have any input into their characters?

Don Payne: Kat did an amazing job taking the words on the page as written and making them fly. She really embodied the character of Darcy.

After the second trailer came out, I read some people mistakenly speculate that her character was created as a marketing decision to appeal to the youth audience or some such thing — as if the producers sat down and said, “Hmm… this script is good, but we need a character to appeal to the tweens! With current pop cultural references!” I promise you, that wasn’t the case at all. I came up with Darcy because we needed someone to work with Jane Foster, and the character had to have a vastly different background, personality, and world-view from Jane in order to make that relationship interesting. I decided to make her a woman, frankly, because other than Sif and Frigga, we had a very male-heavy cast of characters. I thought it might also be interesting to have someone working for Jane who both frustrated her and who Jane saw as protégé whose potential she could help fully realize.

But I also wanted Darcy to be the voice of the common man. We’ve got Asgardians and astrophysicists, so I wanted someone to say what the average moviegoer might be thinking. If someone in the audience is thinking, “What the hell is that weird, glowing thing?!” Darcy should be asking “What the hell is that weird, glowing thing?!” (That line isn’t actually in the movie, but you get the idea…)

Natalie actually helped out tremendously with the character of Jane Foster. Let’s be honest, Jane Foster in the comics has traditionally been one of the most boring characters in the Marvel Universe. In the film, she’s an astrophysicist, so that makes her more interesting right off the bat. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s played by Natalie, who brings loads of personality and charm to any character she portrays.

Originally in the script, however, Jane was more of a traditional scientist — a hardcore skeptic. But Natalie came to the first rehearsal with the idea of turning that on its end. She suggested making Jane the believer. She thought Jane could be more of a kind of “scientist as poet” — someone who thinks outside of the box, someone whose theories are considered outlandish and are frowned upon by the scientific community. But it’s the kind of thinking that leads to great discoveries. When Thor arrives, she’s willing to take a leap of faith — and she has to pay the consequences for it. Natalie’s input made the character more interesting, improved her relationship with Thor, and, in general, made the story better. And she helped make sure Jane Foster isn’t boring. So I’m grateful to her for that.

During my story meetings with Ken and Marvel, we put a lot of work into the Thor/Jane relationship, and there was much discussion about exactly how and how quickly things should progress between them. I think we succeeded in developing their romance realistically, so it doesn’t feel forced.

ABOUT HEIMDALL AND THE MCU TAKE

There has also been a lot of ugly and foolish controversy about Idris Elba being cast as Heimdall. I don’t like to justify bigotry with attention, but has the reaction surprised you and the rest of the team?

Don Payne: You’d think as a society we’d be beyond this now. The funny thing is, this film was never meant to be a straight representation of traditional Norse mythology. It’s the cinematic take on the Marvel comics take on Norse mythology. In fact, in the reality of our movie, the Norse myths are actually based on our version of the Asgardians, after they visited ancient Norway. The Norse just got some things wrong, based on their primitive understanding of their encounters. (Like, for example, worshiping the Asgardians as gods.)

The bottom line is Idris is great in the movie. I think almost all of the people who are skeptical or have issues with the casting will be convinced when they see the movie — except for all the actual racists out there. But who needs them?

MY TWO CENTS

This interview is so goddamn awesome because it’s so informative. Don Payne talked about a lot of topics and didn’t give just two lines answers but well rounded explanations. There’s so much more than the bits I’ve selected but I couldn’t really copypaste it all, though I wholeheartedly recommend you to read it.

I’d kill to get a peck at the old scripts but definitely there was a lot of work ongoing to produce the definitive one.

Anyway I love how almost all Marvel seems to know Odin is a bad father yet Odin doesn’te ven get a slap on his wrists. Really guys...

I like how he admits Thor’s journey is one of redemption... but really that’s not how you made a redemption arc...

I also find interesting how again we get a confirmation that Sif and the Warriors Three are ‘fiercely dedicated to THEIR FRIEND THOR’.

In the movie Thor says:

Thor: Why don't you tell her how you sent the Destroyer to kill our friends, to kill me?

But the truth is that those were his friends, not both’s. For the Warriors Three and Sif there was never a choice between Thor and Loki. They were Thor’s friends and to him their loyalty went.

I also like how he says he hopes they included enough humor, but no more than that as this is an action film, and, while fun moments are needed they need to have them sparingly of things get silly. How they didn’t want Thor to come to earth and suddenly become an idiot for comic relief. How they didn’t want for the jokes to end up being too distracting. I think this speaks of care for the story.

They even put care in creating Jane and Darcy. I still think they could do Jane better, but still they tried.

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 13):

Favorite episodes in chronological order:

13:1 Lost and found - This is a very strong start of the season, might be one of the strongest intro episodes since the early seasons. Jack is actually instantly likeable, and apart from Dean shooting first and asking questions... kinda never, the boys do good. I also like the side characters, they make it clear that this could’ve been so much worse if some shitty people were first on the scene.

13:3 Patience - Loretta! Brought back from season 1 to die instantly. Oh wow. The SPN-way. But at least I dig the story. And Jody is here. And Sam is sweet to Jack. I’m fine.

13:4 The big empty - Cass is in the upsidedown. Jack goes hunting. Incidently, this discrepancy between the brothers is the kind I can get behind because it’s based on something real - a new family member, the loss of another, not some abstract drama where one of them lets their fear get the better of them and creates drama w/o even talking to the other. Spooky space entity in the big empty. Misha Collins, everyone! Nice. A kind shapeshifter. ”Even monsters can do good in this world.” Dean communicating sincerely. ”I need you to keep the faith, for both of us.” Cass - An angel so annoying that the big empty itself spat him back out.

13:5 Advanced Thanatology - honestly the brothers, loving them extra much this season, even when they argue. Hung-over Dean. Fun. Killing yourself for three minutes... Jeez, have you learned nothing ? No? Oh ok. It’s just a little death. And Sam’s reaction is more exhasperated than anything, it’s... funny. And then: ”I saw Cass kill you!” Yeah, like that matters. Also nice that the show finally ties up that whole how-do-people-die-w-no-death-thing.

13:6 Tombstone - STOP using ”but you died” as an excuse why people shouldn’t be back! Coming back from the dead isn’t just reserved for the Winchesters you know! Team free will 2.0. Nice! ”He’s an angry sleeper, like a bear” *spits out coffee* are you trying to kill me?! ”It’s good to have you back, Cass” to be constantly baffled by you. Jeez, the cringe! And the undertaker! Looking like a retro pinup crossed w Rosie the riveter! What a treat. Dean being a fanboy (and oh technically, couldn’t this obsession with cowboy-criminals count as a true crime -fad? No? Oh well.) Dean crawling through the ghoul-paths, referencing Die Hard. Good episode. Dean forgiving Jack. Sweet. Too bad Jack’s having none of it. They *have* raised a Winchester.

13:7 War of the worlds - a torture scene is the quickest way for me to start rooting for whoever is being tortured. Even Lucifer. Hey, and it’s also the quickest way to end up- if not on the fail list, then at least off the fave list. Oh, Ketch is back. Gun, mouth, now. Noooo, a twin! Shoot me twice. Fail list. Can’t be helped. Lucifer coming to Castiel’s rescue and burnin the brothers ”with their second-guessing and whining.” And Asmodeus showing up. Luci being sassy. Oh gods. Not an evil twin. I’m changing my mind, it stays on the fave list- what’s going? Oh I know: it’s an entire season of a soap crammed into one Supernatural episode. All the soap-tropes. It’s hysterical!

13:8 The scorpion and the frog - Dean insulting Smash’s excellent shoes. I rly don’t think you are in a position to criticize anyone’s wardrobe. Smash and Grab are funny. And the setting is too. And the brothers are really excellently cast in their roles in this heist: Sam as the awkward nerd and Dean as Mr TCB. Dean putting his hand into the bocca della verita! Sam: ”Dean! He’s immortal!” Dean: *knocks Shrike out*. Oh Dean. ”I just had an idea, but it’s a little crazy.” ”I’m good with crazy.” Crazy’s the only game in town. The Winchesters and the curveballs. Rolling Shrike in front of them. Brilliant! Good ending. But Sam! You know how to kill anything but you don’t know that you don’t blow on a burning piece of paper to put it out? .... *shrugs* that actually makes sense.

13:9 The bad place - instantly liking this artist. Crazy about the premise 3 minutes in. And very upset 5 minutes in. Poor Derek! The return of Patience, I’m equally pleased and distraught, stay away, girl! And Kaia! And Dean coming around to Jack. That’s sweet. Jeez, is that a helicopter shot. Hella pretty! Omg! Finally giant monster time! *chills* i have been waiting for this my whole life.

13:10 Wayward sisters - Holy hell. This season has been frickin awesome so far, and now I get all my babies together. Saving Sam and Dean. Finding Kaia. My heart is just full of rainbows.

13:12 Various and sundry villains - Oh no! I liked Dale. See here we are again, using actors from previous seasons: it’s the chick from Twihard and apparently she’s not random enough. Ugh . Oh! So this is a goofy!Dean episode! Those are usually welcome. The setup for this is very annoying though. Thank godess for Rowena! Bringing all the truths. I think I love her. Woah. Killing the girls like that. Harsh. Sam being soft and giving her the spell. I love him.

13:17 The thing - this episode makes me realise there’s not enough tentacles in Supernatural. Gabriel! Back with the boys! I’m so pleased.

13:18 Bring ’em back alive - Charlie! Gabriel! Lucifer! This is just a deeply satisfying episode. On multipel levels. I love the characters standing up for themselves, in different ways. Charlie’s simple line: ”that’s not your call” struck a cord; not everybody chooses to join your fight, some have their own and the right walk away from yours.

13:19 Funeralia - the right amount of silly according to Mr Mess and that counts for something around here. Sam showing genuine remorse at shooting Rowena and Rowena being genuinely upset that he would. I’m moved. And Rowena’s consession. The boys giving Rowena a pep talk! My heart!

Fail episodes in chronological order:

13:11 Breakdown - Donna is always a win, but dark and gritty? And monsters on the internet. Nah. Too much torture porn.

13:22 Exodus - have I mentioned that I don’t watch Supernatural for the post-apocalyptic scenarios? If I’m expected to deal with that type of grit I’m gonna need a whole lot more kissing.

13:13 Devil’s bargain - Ketch’s mere presence is enough to put this episode on the fail list. If he’s gonna be in this show the least he could do is to regrow that beard of his. Also the fact that Lucifer simply cannot chill. Gabriel is back but alas, doesn’t make up for the episode.

Honorable mentions:

Og and Magog are two hoots and a half.

The animators making the brothers equally tall in Scoobynatural. That’s adorable!

Camo-Samo in the final episodes.

Jack saying I love you to Sam in the final episode kinda killed me.

Mediocre mentions:

The rising son - Can tell pretty early that this is gonna bore me, and it does, but any scene with Jack and the boys is good. ”What would Mr Rogers do?” Good question. ”Dean feels like he has to protect everyone.”

Unfinished business - always here for Gabriel/Loki stuff, especially when it involves both Gabriel and Loki. But idk, vengence as a theme... not my favorite. Mary is sweet though.

Beat the devil - Rowena and Gabriel, I’m just so happy. But wtf were they thinking leaving Rowena w Lucifer. That pisses me off. Almost so that I can’t enjoy the reunion of Jack and Sam. Almost.

Summing up:

The shining star of this season is Jack.

It feels a bit like this is what I’ve been waiting for, for the boys to use what they know constructively and practically and personally: when they’ve met people in need of guidence before they’ve ditched them with someone they’ve deemed as more maternal but now they take Jack with them, which allows them both to be big brothers. That’s good.

[vore-scientist]

Reward (safe/soft - GT - M/f-fluffy - platonic - vore)

A (mini) tale of the mystic woods

Premise: uhhh belly rubs good! Just a sweet story with my wizard Yonah and the Princess Sophia! 

Warnings: NONE!

—

In her hands she held up the golden-green spherical treasure, the noon sunlight glancing off the polished surface. 

“You ever think of selling these at The Market?”

Sophia had to wait for an answer as Yonah chose that moment to take another bite out of a perfectly ripe dvashi apple. And another. He finished the apple.

By Sophia’s count that made 15 apples eaten. Which at his normal size wouldn’t have been impressive but at his reduced size… it still wasn’t impressive. Still massive, she was sure he could still eat a bushel of apples. And bushels abounded, the trees sagged with apples. According to Yonah the trees flowered and fruited all year round, but still favored their normal season best of all. Surely Yonah didn’t plan to eat all of these apples? He could, but growing so many small apples was a silly thing to do if you were a giant. Maybe he would turn them into preserves!

And besides! He grew some varieties to be larger, about the size of his reduced head. Massive apples. Yonah said that he could grow them much larger, but by trial and error he found that sweet spot of size without compromising flavor.

“I do sell enchanted ones! But those are made to order.”

“I’m talking just the apples! They’re amazing and it’s not like there are many orchards in these woods.”

He looked thoughtfully down at the princess in his lap. Sophia wasn’t sure if he was actually considering her question or just thinking about how adorable she was.

“You know, I have never thought of that. Though I like to leave the trees full for the nomadic gnomes. The majority move house around this time.”

Sophia didn’t know that. She only knew city gnomes, who definitely didn’t move into new houses every year. They did take extensive vacations to places of cultural importance, probably to honor the tradition they gave up in the city.

“I do make preserves with the ones that can’t be eaten in time. I dont sell it, I normally take it on patrols and give it out”

HA! She silently congratulated herself for being right. But also DANG!?

“Aren’t you Evil!? You just… give away magical apple preserves? Isn’t that like, the opposite of evil? How do you manage to maintain your reputation?”

“I’m not that kind of evil,” Yonah said, getting a 16th Apple. “I’m not after money or power. I’m the cantankerous hermit Mage who curses people for looking at my flowers wrong. And the grumpy giant who terrorizes people for fun.”

“You do like to eat people, that’s for sure.”

Sophia suddenly didn’t feel like eating another apple.

Yonah did, as he took his 17th.

“Not my fault you smallfolk taste so good!”

He chose that moment to take a crisp bite of the apple and wink at her.

She elbowed him for his cheekiness.

At least if he was eating apples he wasn’t eating her. For now… she had her suspicions. And they were never wrong. But she knew he told the truth when he said he doesn’t eat people and food at the same time. Of course… that’s because normally he has to spit them up so quickly that he’d be spitting up his food too, what a waste and also… gross. With her ability to sit safely in his gut for hours that’s plenty of time for the food to be gone before she needed to be released. Thus it would only be gross for her.

So far that had only happened once, and it wasn’t completely purposeful. She didn’t like to think about that incident, and not because of the brief time spent sitting in food as it digested around her.

Ok enough of that line of thinking. This little picnic, even if it was just apples, was her reward for doing so well in today’s lesson! Changing the color of objects. That was really fun. She started out merely changing a white painted cube green, but in just a few hours turned the black ink of a letter to her father a shimmering pink! That level of precision was apparently very impressive, and should have taken her a week to learn. If Yonah hadn’t been lying to bolster her ego, and she was fairly certain he wasn't… Because she had studied ahead of time, having sneaked a peak at his lesson plans.

It wasn’t easy. With the giant’s sense of smell he could often tell when she’d been somewhere she normally didn’t frequent. But she spent more time by his mail than normal in preparation for her snooping.

Paid off! With a great performance in a lesson, he didn’t “punish” her with a time out in his stomach.

Instead she rested her arms and head on his pillow-like middle, rising and falling with his even breaths. The wind rustled the tree canopy, causing the sunlight to dance across the princess and the wizard. She let him wrap a warm arm around her as he lay back against the tree and closed his eyes.

When she awoke she felt no more wind, and there was considerable pressure pressing down on her, and she was laying on a soft squishy surface. And it was intensely warm.

For a moment she thought Yonah had swallowed her in her sleep. Before realizing how ridiculous that would be. There’s no way she could sleep through being literally shoved down his throat. And she was dry, and still made of flesh.

Yonah had returned to his normal size while they napped and now she was lying underneath his heavy palm. He was sound asleep.

Adjusting her stiff limbs she found a much better position, and promptly returned to her nap.

Yonah woke slowly, first noting that his arm was no longer wrapped around the princess, for she was snoozing under his hand. All curled up, just her head poking out so she could breathe. So serene and happy. Gosh she looked so adorable.

And smelled… so delectable.

His mouth watered. The apples seemed so long ago now. Especially now he wasn’t so small. That was the problem with size changing. He could fill up on food so easily when reduced, feel so full but never satisfied, and then feel so empty the moment he changed back.

However… he didn’t have to feel this way. But he didn’t want to spoil his appetite.

He fiddled with the bottle of glass paste on his belt. Sophia looked so peaceful. He didn’t know if he could disturb her… Then again. She can just as easily sleep inside his stomach as on top of it.

Gently, he applied the smallest amount of paste to his fingers and stroked Sophia’s side. She moved but did not wake.

Even when he uttered the spell. And….

Opening one eye he found the princess snoozing as if nothing happened.

She did not wake until he delicately picked her up and brought her to his face. And didn’t fully wake up until her torso was in his mouth and he was licking her thoroughly.

ARRRRGGGGHHH!!

He ignored her screaming.

The problem with turning Sophia into glass is she tastes like… Well… glass. At least, after he licked off the lingering layer of delicious human flavor! Mmmmmmm. Savory beyond belief.

Of course, as he licked off the flavor he had to swallow her down to reach the parts un-licked.

She was fighting against him, knowing she wasn’t strong enough; though it was a bit uncomfortable as her glass limbs scraped his teeth, sending shivers down his spine. But he didn’t care, as he worked the form into his throat and swallowed. No problem. The struggles and the stretching hurt, and not insignificantly but not enough to worry him or cause him to panic. The kicking feet were at his lips and he held them between two fingers as he gulped down more of the princess, the feet entering his mouth for him to enjoy, her glass shoes slipping off into his hand.

Soon there was no more human in his mouth, she was all in his esophagus. Well mostly, her arms made it to his stomach at the same time her feet dropped below his collar.

It was comforting that once she filled up his stomach she didn’t continue to scream and instead made herself comfortable. Lots of movement, feeling around his stomach for the best spot to flop down, and give him some nice kicks and punches.

He liked to watch his stomach as she did this. Marvel at how well she fit there, just full enough to be noticeable. Her moments occasionally visible as fleeting and minuscule dents. Once she settled he put a hand over the spot. The solid mass was still moving around, just less forceful.

There was a considerable amount of grumbling.

“Something wrong princess?” Yonah said in a soft singsong voice.

He earned himself some kicks with that remark.

“You mean other than the fact that I’ve been eaten alive?!” she growled, “I was enjoying the nice day, with my friend, outside!!”

“Well, now you can enjoy it inside your friend!” he pat his stomach affectionately, which made it bounce a bit, causing Sophia to unbalance as she bounced too. In his mind he imagined her smiling or frowning. Both were equally cute options.

“It’s not the same, Yonah!”

Exasperated!

Now he could picture it perfectly, and he rubbed at the spot where Sophia was once more curled up. Her glass form made her much more solid, and sat much heavier in his gut. It was a pleasant weight. She pushed back against his fingers. Poking himself in various locations, Sophia scrambled about to attack each spot, a little game that continued for an amusing minute.

“You don’t seem too mad with me,” he finally said, wanting to make sure.

The princess had done incredibly well in her lesson today. That meant she avoided detention in his gut. That didn’t stop Yonah from rewarding himself for a job well done.

“Yeah, well,” Sophia mused, playfully, “I saw the look in your eyes earlier. Would have appreciated you giving me more warning, even just nudging me awake first. ”

As she spoke she turned her back to the front of the stomach and pushed an open palm into the stomach walls, which forced her to stretch out as far as she could, stretching the stomach. Then she dragged the arm down and up. And down and up. She repeated this with her other hand as well. There was a rewarding shudder all around her.

Yonah closed his eyes, his face the picture of soft bliss as the princess stroked his insides. It wasn’t often she was this tender with him.

“I know you like messing with me,” she continued, and felt his little chuckle, “And you know I’ll get you back for this,” she switched to using her feet, bracing her arms to keep herself stretched out.

Yeah… He didn’t expect to get off scott free, but he really didn’t expect to be rewarded with belly rubs! Yonah pressed his fingers against Sophia, stroking her as she did him, letting her know he appreciated this gift. How he had ever lived without this he didn’t know, and it had only been a few months ago when he had!

Of course, when he first got this job he had never eaten a small folk, only tasted them. In fact, he couldn;t imagine ever eating one. Until the thieves started arriving. It hadn’t taken long for him to get used to the occasional snack.

But the princess was not an adventurer. They cried; she playfully protested.They panicked; she massaged. Thieves had to be spat up before they died (he prided himself in usually getting them out before they were harmed at all). Sophia could snuggle with him for hours, and she had. He could fall asleep with her tucked safely away within him, and she would fall asleep too.

Waking up with a still full belly… there was nothing quite like it. And he fell asleep looking forward to when he would.

It took Sophia a few more minutes to settle down to continue her rudely interrupted nap. First, she knew that she could put him to sleep fast by keeping up the massaging. Second, she wasn’t ready to sleep just yet. Turns out, stewing in your captors stomach provided the properly motivating environment to think up some sweet sweet revenge.

Even as she released the tension in her limbs and leaned back. For a few minutes she let the pulse soothe her, it was strongest at her back. She let the gently flexing walls rock her to and fro; slick and soft and warm, she let the heat of his body seep into hers. She had to admit, it was nice. Intensely, intensely weird, but nice.

This still warranted payback. She’d heard of a way to melt wizards, and according to those sources it didn’t kill them, it didn’t even hurt them.

But… she could think… later… sleep… now.

[FIN]

[Thanks for reading! please reblog/message me with feedback! for more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/+mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’ on my blog! For thief stories only search “MW Thieves”]