#ok so lets tag this how i personally see it by how i accidentally ended up blurting it out

[monalisahyperdrive]

Primarchs and Christmas Classics - christmas songs and festive primarch/legion headcanons.

The final week of the winter semester has run me over so I'm blasting Christmas music to cope & inspire fuzzy warm feelings. This is once again entirely subjective and largely based on my (British, somewhat Catholic) own Christmas experiences. All good fun while I avoid working on these essays. I struggled with some of these so they might be a little off. ⇒ divider by @/cafekitsune

Alpharius & Omegon / Alpha Legion

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - The Jackson 5. The most confusing Christmas possible. Don't worry, Alpharius will be home for Christmas! Several dozen of him. You get the distinct feeling that the Alpharius who sat and laughed while playing charades earlier (you lost, badly) is actually not any of the Alphariuses sat at the table for Christmas dinner... but you just can't prove it. Is Omegon there? Of course he is. Which one is he? Good question.

Angron / World Eaters

Lonely This Christmas - Mud. Attempts a quiet peaceful Christmas, fails miserably every year. His sons love him very much, in their own way. He just sort of disappears into his home over the festive period. They come find him anyway. Small groups, well spaced out. They send one or two marines with gifts from a dozen or so every few hours. They don't get invited in, he greets them at the door, often gritting his teeth from the pain. He gets his rest, but he'll never be truly lonely on Christmas. Not anymore.

Corvus Corax / Raven Guard

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - The Jackson 5. The Raven Guard just sort of... show up to Christmas. Was there even a knock at the door? Well, they're here now. You think. You were sure you just saw Corvus but you've lost him again. The whole thing is a relatively private affair, no real coming and going... as far as you can tell. The Raven Guard present seem to dissipate some time between late afternoon on Christmas Day and the morning of Boxing day. The presents are all freakishly accurate to what was wished for. Don't worry about it.

Ferrus Manus / Iron Hands

Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) - The Darkness. (subject to change) Christmas with Ferrus and the Iron Hands is a rather rudimentary affair. 'For morale', they say. Admittance of actual celebration would be an admittance of weakness. Christmas dinner is served in a mess hall, and largely differentiates itself from the typical nutrient paste with... something that might be mashed potato and the slice of what seems to be the idea of turkey... if turkey was suspiciously nutrient dense and stiff. Presents are largely ignored, as are any decorations beyond the occasional string of lights. Time off is necessary in order to maintain efficiency. They're watching Die Hard for morale. Ferrus is watching along with them... for morale. Shut up.

Fulgrim / Emperor's Children

All I Want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey. Of course it's Mariah. The only way it wouldn't be Mariah is if it was Jingle Bell Rock, Mean Girls style. Yes, with the outfit. The Christmas decorations have gone up early and it all matches, right down to the last detail. Think those gorgeous monochrome Christmas trees you see on Pinterest. The table all set for Christmas dinner is both the most meticulously and yet effortlessly breathtaking you've ever seen. If anyone's got festive charger plates, it's the Third. There's singing, there's dancing. There's an elaborate charcuterie board for snacking on on Christmas Eve. Good luck going five minutes without your wine/champagne/juice glass refilling while you're not looking. Matching outfits for the Christmas cards but in an incredible chic way. Probably the classic matching pyjamas approach. Perfection is a must, and Christmas is no excuse.

Horus Lupercal / Luna Wolves & Sons of Horus

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - Dean Martin. Cue shit eating grin, singing along, grabbing Lady Lupercal and- oh is that mistletoe up there? He hadn't even noticed. Well since you're already there... might as well? 30k Luna Wolves Horus is leaning full tilt into the Hallmark movie Christmases. The Mournival are even here for Christmas dinner and look they brought presents - isn't that cute? Post Heresy Horus (copium) is still just as meticulous with Christmas but it's a little more... off the rails. Everything is perfect, come sit down for Christmas dinner! Don't worry, he'll do the talking. All of it.

Jaghatai Khan / White Scars

Driving Home for Christmas - Chris Rea. One of the biggest and warmest Christmases, up there with the Salamanders and the Space Wolves. Everyone - and I mean absolutely everyone - is home for Christmas. Don't know anyone's names? Doesn't matter. The driveway is absolutely packed. They're parked out front all down the street, too. The living room barely fits everybody. There's not even nearly enough space for everyone to sit. It's cozy.

Konrad Curze / Night Lords

Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney. Vague lyrics, nonspecific, bang on. It sure is a wonderful Christmastime, just... not what you might be thinking of. Merry Christmas from Nostramo. Please don't call. Sevatar is there. Christmas dinner is... meat, for sure. The fact there's so many Night Lords in the same place not snapping at eachother like a pack of unruly dogs is actually pretty impressive. Don't ask what the wrapping paper is made of. The first rule of Night Lord Christmas...

Leman Russ / Space Wolves

Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade. Primarily inspired by my drunken male relatives stopping everything to sing along and start dancing around the living room. Of course a Space Wolves Christmas would be boozy, it's a celebration isn't it? Feasting and drinking and laughing is the name of the game. All the presents are surprisingly thoughtful. Leman awkwardly hovers in the back while some of the presents are opened and suspiciously vanishes off into the next room with some of the wrapping paper and reemerges with presents wrapped in what he'd scavenged. After that is totally the type to sit by the youngest on the couch and be overly eager to offer his knife for them to use to get into their presents easier. Asleep the second he gets back to the couch post Christmas dinner.

Lion El'Jonson / Dark Angels

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love. A man who frankly needs to sit down over the holidays but physically cannot do it. Christmas? Stupid meaningless holiday. You're staying over though right? People are coming for dinner though right? No he's not going to decorate the tree. He's going to stare at you doing it though, and then he'll complain when he has to get up to help you place the star on the top. Acts entirely unbothered by Dark Angels showing up. Would be pacing and staring out the window all day if they didn't.

Lorgar Aurelian / Word Bearers

Mary's Boy Child / Oh My Lord - Boney M. Yeah, you're going to church for the Christmas service. But so is everyone else! And I mean, everyone else. Midnight Mass, Carol service, the whole shebang. Lorgar, however, is absolutely overjoyed! He has several Nativity sets he brings out every year. There's an angel for the top of the tree. He delights in listening to the carollers that come to the door. Has the whole family over for the holiday. Yes, including Kor Phaeron. There's no avoiding it. Picks out a new special ornament each year. Decorating the tree is a family activity that takes hours due to all the reminiscing over all the different ornaments that have been collected over the years and the story that has to be retold after they get carefully unwrapped before they can be hung on the tree. It's sweet, it just takes a while to get done.

Magnus (the Red) / Thousand Sons

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard. Ah, the bane of my existence at school around Christmastime growing up. The Christmas quiz. If you don't think the Thousand Sons are having the MOST intense Christmas Quiz fighting tooth and nail (intellectually) for those points every year, you may be kidding yourself. Everyone knows exactly who won the year before. And the year before. And the year before that. Need I go on? Magnus himself writes and reads the questions, and it's Magnus who decides whether an answer gets a point or not. Christmas boardgames include Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, and so on. Scrabble gets heated. The dictionary gets brought out. And a second if the first isn't convincing enough. Every year it's declared to be banned from Christmas. Every year it gets brought out again.

Mortarion / Death Guard

Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid Before Nurgle there is no way in hell Mortarion celebrated. After being taken under Grandfather's metaphorical wing? Oh absolutely. There is nothing Nurgle would delight in more than getting the whole family together. Eat, drink, and be merry! Don't... don't worry about the food, sweetness. Even Typhus has come for dinner, isn't that sweet? Poor tired Mortarion. Best keep him looked after. Not to worry, Grandfather has it all under control!

Perturabo / Iron Warriors

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Perry Como, The Fontane Sisters. It's a stupid holiday. What? Of course he's celebrating this year, are you mad? Didn't seem excited for the festive season? Oh he'll show you excited. The lawn, the house, everything is absolutely plastered in decorations. Is this enough Christmas lights? No. No it's not. Hang them on that tree, too. Absolutely has the light up sleigh and reindeer on the roof with the Santa decoration climbing the chimney. Absolute chefzilla in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner. Best turkey you've ever eaten. Don't worry about the way he'd been fiddling with the oven for the last couple days. In fact, don't even step into the kitchen. He's going to feed his stupid sons who he hates. Spends the rest of the day sat on the couch doing a jigsaw on the coffee table. Don't talk to him, just let him have this.

Roboute Guilliman / Ultramarines

Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses. Respectfully, I don't think Guilliman - especially 40k Guilliman - would have the energy or time to be particularly festive. Any time off would be spent napping in an armchair in the corner dad style. Do NOT let this man take on any of the Christmas dinner cooking stress, but let him cut the turkey so he can still feel important and valued. He deserves a nice sit down in front of the tv and a glass of Baileys. His sons will handle the rest, and they'll do a damn good job of it, too! Seasons Greetings from Macragge, here is your festive email with an attached picture of Guilliman asleep on the couch in his sweater.

Rogal Dorn / Imperial Fists

Baby It's Cold Outside - Idina Menzel, Michael Bublé. No seriously, baby, it's cold outside, this is Inwit. Dorn's house is the safest possible place to spend Christmas anyway, fortified beyond belief. The Fists show up for Christmas. Sort of. Mostly they come and stand around awkwardly. The most active things get is when Jenga gets brought back out its box - winning is of course a point of pride. Gift favourites are of course, various iterations of building blocks.

Sanguinius / Blood Angels

A Spaceman Came Travelling - Chris de Burgh. Slightly more niche but the one that makes me think of Sanguinius the most. Christmas with the Blood Angels isn't the warmest fuzziest thing around. There's a difference between being revered and truly beloved and Sanguinius knows it like the back of his hand. It's comfortable, it's quiet. Dante is there. The Blood Angels all show up bearing presents on Christmas day. They fawn over him. He speaks to each and every one of them with a smile on his face. Eventually the knocks stop coming and the doorbell stops ringing, and he can collapse onto the couch and relax. He spends the season with his nearest and dearest. He takes a walk after Christmas dinner. He gives up Christmas day to being humble, and he lets himself be selfish on Boxing Day, with several glasses of... something red and some truly terrible Christmas movies.

Vulkan / Salamanders

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Andy Williams. And he damn well means it! Christmas with the Salamanders is incredible. Got nowhere to go for the holidays? Now you do. Decorating starts the second December does. The actual event starts bright and early Christmas Eve morning. Vulkan truly comes alive during the holiday - so many loved ones around! Christmas Eve is all movies and food and board games and jokes and stories by the fire. People even sleep over into Boxing Day. He greets each and every one of the people who'd attended personally, waving them off at the door with a big grin on his face. All his sons have Christmas sweaters that match his own. Expect some incredible Christmas cards in the mail with a whole host of posing Salamanders on the front. Oh well since you're all here already... you might as well stay for the New Year? Outstaying your welcome? Don't be silly.

[discordantwritings]

Somewhere Inbetween (Nami + Robin X Reader)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MDNI, gn afab! Reader (Reader is roommates with Robin and Nami though, but let’s be real no more people are fitting in the boys room that place is packed), inappropriate use of devil fruit powers, the inherent mild body horror of Robin’s devil fruit power, oral sex, fingering, slight exhibitionism/ voyeurism, face sitting

WC: 2.3k

Summary: You find out Nami and Robin are a bit more than friends. You find out you want to be a bit more than friends with them too.

Notes: there’s barely plot I just needed women

Tagging: @turtletaubwrites @keiva1000

Considering how close you were to Robin and Nami, and considering how you shared a room with the two of them, you really should have figured this out earlier.

In fairness to you it wasn’t odd for Nami to hold hands with everyone besides Zoro and Sanji. It wasn’t odd for Robin to always be far too close to others with her lack of understanding of personal space. It wasn’t odd for the three of you to even cuddle sometimes- all three of your beds pressed together for a “sleepover” where you all ended up in a comfortable pile.

All of that is to say that Nami and Robin being affectionate with each other was never something you even spared a second thought about. That was until you caught them in one of the storage closets.

In the dark you couldn’t make out much besides Robin’s hand up Nami’s skirt while Nami’s face was buried in the other girl’s neck. There’s a moment where you make eye contact with Robin, those bright eyes almost glowing in the dim light.

It’s really hard to close the door when she smiles at you.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.” Robin says the second her and Nami enter your shared room later that day.

“No it’s- I mean-“ There’s no good way to translate the weird mess of feelings in your stomach as Robin smiles at you apologetically and all you can think about is those long fingers inside-

“No, no it’s our bad.” Nami walks over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder, pushing you down to sit on the bed as she sits on it.

Robin sits on your other side, giving you just enough space to where you’re not touching. “We just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Hi, I’m Robin and this is Nami, my girlfriend?” You joke, managing a smile.

“Well, see, it’s not that easy.” Nami flops back onto the bed as you turn and shoot her a confused look. “We don’t really label it like that.”

“Ok you might have lost me.” You admit, and Robin’s soft touch to your knee brings your attention back to her.

“Neither of us wanted something committed or exclusive. We are there for each other, of course, but with all the pressure of our lives we didn’t want anything to add to that.”

You take in her words and it starts to make sense. “So somewhere between partners and friends with benefits.”

“I knew you would get it!” You hear Nami’s voice behind you. “But we do have to keep it on the down low.”

You look at Robin quizzically and she sighs.

“Sanji.”

Ah, yeah. He’d be insufferable.

“Usopp or Luffy would accidentally reveal it, I’m sure Zoro would taunt Sanji about knowing it, and then I don’t think I could tell Chopper.” Nami explains more.

“Franky knows though.” Robin adds and you hear Nami giggle.

“Yeah he does.”

Your facial expression must be pure shock since Robin giggles behind her hand at you. It’s not your fault you’re suddenly learning a whole lot about your crew mates in the span of a few minutes. You lay back down on the bed, next to Nami.

“I’m going to need like a day to process this all but I’m glad I know.”

“I’m glad you know too.” Nami lays her head on your shoulder as you feel Robin lay down as well.

You’ve laid like this with them dozens of times before but you can’t help the way your mind focuses in on the heat from their bodies and the way you can feel Nami’s breath on your neck. You’ll get over it in a few days, you think, and you can go back to seeing them as your best friends.

That is, until you feel Robin’s hand on your thigh and she’s brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. You turn your head to look at her and she’s giving you that same smile she gave you earlier in the closet and you feel your heart leap up into your chest.

“Can I tell you something?” Robin asks softly, and you nod, not trusting your words.

“Nami and I think you’re very beautiful.”

Both Robin and Nami have given you compliments before but this was different. The low tone of her voice, the way her thumb rubs against the exposed skin on the border of your shorts, Nami’s hand snaking to intertwine her fingers in yours- there’s no way this could be interpreted any other way.

“Certainly not as beautiful as you two are.” You manage, breathlessly.

You feel Nami huff a small laugh into your neck as Robin moves her hand to cup your jaw gently. She holds your face still as Nami’s arm drapes over your midsection.

“Is this okay?” Robin asks as Nami’s nose nudges against your jaw.

You nod, but that isn’t good enough for Robin. “Use your words love, let Nami hear you.”

“Yes, this is- yes.” You’re torn between wanting to move your face forward to kiss Robin or to lean back into Nami’s hold.

Thankfully you didn’t have to choose as Robin leans in and presses her soft lips against yours. The kiss is slow but consuming, skilled slight movements carefully tearing down any remaining hesitance you had. You gasp as Nami nibbles at your neck, her hold around you becoming tighter as she presses her chest to you back.

“Both of us won’t be too much, will it?” Robin asks, a slight teasing tilt to her voice as the hand on your thigh goes up to your hip, playing with the waistband of your shorts.

“We won’t be mean. I mean, not unless you want us to be.” Nami is more outright with her teasing, as she always is, hand pushing your shirt up.

“I can take it.” You say, even if you don’t fully believe yourself.

“I know you’ll be so good for us.” Robin says before kissing you again, but quickly this time before she sits up. “Let’s get more comfortable.”

Robin nods to the center of the bed and you move once Nami lets you go, crawling over until your back hits the headboard. You watch as Nami leans over to Robin, whispering something in her ear while looking at you with a devious smile on her face. You flush as thoughts race through your head about what she could possibly be saying, but most coherent thoughts leave your head as Robin’s fingers move Nami’s chin and the two of them kiss.

Even though you know better it still feels like you’re watching something you shouldn’t. The way Nami’s body gives into Robin’s, the way Robin’s hands travel over Nami’s exposed midsection- it was dizzying to watch. You felt lucky to be in their presence, let alone allowed to be in on the fun.

It’s not long before their attention is turned back to you and you’re suddenly aware of the way you’d been rubbing your thighs together, desperate for some sort of friction. Nami frowns slightly, and for a moment you feel like you might have done something wrong but she starts crawling over to you, hands quickly at the waistband of your shorts.

“Didn’t mean to leave you out there- can I make it up to you?” Her knee swings over her so she’s straddling your thighs, hands paused over the closure of your shorts as she waits for your response.

“If you want to.” You’re vaugley aware of Robin settling in by your side but all your focus is on Nami as she unbuttons your shorts and pulls them off of you.

Nami shimmies down the bed as she peels your shorts and panties off and you bite your lip as she pushes your thighs apart so she can settle between them. You squirm a bit under her gaze, but before you can move any more copies of Robin’s hands sprout from the bed and hold your waist down. When you first met Robin her powers were unnerving, but now limbs in places they typically shouldn’t be was normal- and now your brain was running away with thoughts of what so many hands could do to you.

“Focus on Nami, love.” Robin whispers in your ear, arguably making it harder to do what she asks.

But when one of your thighs is gently pushed over Nami’s shoulder and you can feel her breath creeping up your inner thigh your attention is held. She kisses her way closer to your core and it’s hard to hold back the whines in your throat as her lips dance right around where you want her most. One of your hands grips the sheets tight as your other is laced in Robin’s, her long fingers grounding you in more ways than one.

Nami’s fingers dip gently into your folds and gather the slick there before holding them up for Robin to see. You would’ve turned away if Robin didn’t sit up and lean forward, taking Nami’s fingers into her mouth and cleaning them off. You were transfixed as Nami took her fingers back and traveled back down, Robin’s saliva easing the way for the two fingers to push inside you. Your head pushes back into the pillow as Nami’s fingers curl inside of you.

Robin kisses against your jaw as she continues to hold you down. You feel her chuckle into your neck when you moan as Nami scissors her fingers wide, stretching you out. Robin moves up slightly, her breath fanning over your ear.

“You should pull on her hair a little, she likes that.” She whispers into your ear.

You release your hand from the sheets and gently settle your fingers in Nami’s bright hair. Hesitantly you tug lightly and are rewarded with a moan. You feel Robin grin against your neck. When Nami’s mouth latches onto your clit you reflexively pull hard and you would apologize if it didn’t make Nami double down in her efforts as you feel her fingers expertly find the spongy spot deep inside you.

“I’m-“ You’ve only had Nami’s mouth on you for seconds but you’re already falling apart, words broken by your whines.

“Come on, don’t hold back now.” Robin’s voice is soft in your ear and that’s all the encouragement you need to let go.

Nami’s mouth never stops, just turns gentler as she brings you back down from your orgasm. You whine when she pulls her fingers out, but smile when she places a kiss on your hip. She drags herself up the bed to your side.

“You taste great baby.” Nami kisses you and you can taste the remnants of yourself on her tongue.

“Can I-“ You’re flushed as your hand moves down to the waistband of her skirt and she grins.

“Yes, you just keep laying there.”

You’re not quite sure what her plan is until Robin’s hands are pulling you a bit further down the bed and Nami is pushing her skirt up. Robin leaves your side as one of Nami’s knees swing over your head and you’re left with a beautiful view over you. Her lower lips are slick as she hovers right above your face, letting you take the lead.

Your hands come up to grip her thighs and you pull her down so she is properly sitting on your face. You can’t help but push your tongue past her folds, tasting her wetness as your nose pushes against her clit. She tastes sweet- an unsurprising fact given how many oranges she eats, but you relish in it all the same. You pull back to breathe for a second, flattening your tongue out against her clit and loving the moan it draws out of her. Her hips rock against your tongue and you’re more than happy to let her use your face.

You almost forgot Robin’s presence entirely until you feel hands pushing and holding your thighs apart. Fingers part your folds as more push into you- two maybe three it’s hard to tell with how overwhelmed your senses are. All you know is you’re slowly getting filled and that you love it.

“Shit- can you just- I just need a little more baby I’m so close-“ You feel Nami’s thighs trembling under your grasp and you pull her even closer to your face and wrap your lips around her clit.

You feel her orgasm as her muscles convulse over you and you lap up every drop of cum she gives you, face slick as you stop her from pulling away before you’re done. After you’ve drunk your fill you release your grip on Nami’s thighs, letting her bring her leg over and sit next to you.

Now that your vision isn’t blocked you look around to find the source of the fingers still pumping in and out of you and you finally locate her. Robin is sitting on one of the plush loveseats Nami stole some time ago, one leg hitched over the armrest as her own fingers plunge into her. Her eyes are almost completely black as she watches you.

The hands holding you push you slightly to give Robin a better view of her work, more fingers added in, pushing you to your limit. You whine and Nami takes your hand and whispers hushed praises to you.

“Doing so well for us baby- Putting on such a good show for Robin-“ You’re close again and you feel another bloomed hand ride up from the bed and take your other hand.

You gush over the countless fingers inside you, fingernails digging into both girls hands as you scream through your intense orgasm. You can hear Robin moan and you curse yourself for not being more aware to see what she looks like when she cums. But your regrets are all forgotten about when she climbs in bed and settles into your side.

“Robin-“ You feel like you should have done something for her but before you can even get that thought out she shuts you down.

“It’s alright darling.” She presses a kiss to your temple as Nami wraps an arm around your midsection and holds you close.

“Next time.”

[system-of-a-feather]

yeah the main thing that turned me away from the tulpamancy community wasnt even that "using the term is racist". it was the reactions from all of the white people (and like. Just americans/westerners in general) upon being told something might be racist.

i disagreed and still do, mostly bc i see the practice's similarities in name only, but watching a ton of tulpamancers go "'UsInG tHe TeRm iS rAcIsT' haha fucking idiots i bet youre not even Buddhist" made me go ok well even if this action isnt racist i think.... some of the practitioners themselves.... might be.

so i like dont crusade against them or anything but at this point any sort of "tulpa isn't racist" double-down registers as a red flag to me

Yep that is like, my main thing honestly. At this point I really don't think the "term is racist" while possibly true is really anywhere near as big of an issue as how the community handles discussions of it and reacts to hurt POC. I don't know if they are around but @/mitsukisys or something similar (@/ cause I'm not sure if I spelled it right and dont want to accidentally tag a random person) really got a shit end of the stick in particular.

Like there are a bunch of valid points and discussion topics people pro-tulpa COULD have brought up or used that would have been understandable and reasonable, but instead most went "Well actually, I don't have to listen to you because you are not (increasingly small goal post of who is allowed to have a valid opinion literally sometimes going down to "tibetian buddhist that lives in or immigrated from Tibet and actively lived and practiced in tibet")

Like nobody says people have to engage in the discussion of the potentially racist, potentially culturally appropriative and harmful roots / aspects of the term; but if you do, you can't just look at POC trying to express their hurt and go "well actually you aren't a person I have to listen to because I'm shortening the range of people who are valid to fit my comfort"

It's also what honestly keeps me from being a Buddhist that says "it doesn't really matter that much honestly", largely because I know that crowd very much also likes to tokenize people validating anything close to a "the term is fine" and use it to silence other people and I absolutely do not want my opinion and perspective to be used against my fellow AAPI or worse, other Buddhists with differing opinions.

So honestly, I'd love to be able to give my personal opinion and best-faith pass towards the term, but I can't do that in good conscious knowing that me saying that would likely be used to shutdown discussion and/or not critically review the impacts and history that are valid issues with the term.

So tbh, the thing that would probably make me as a single individual with a single opinion change from "default anti-tulpa term" to "pro-tulpa term" or at least "live and let be, its fine" is just some actual effort and good faith extended to the concerned / hurt individuals to hear them out and acknowledge the damage done and like... you know, actually reflect and be honest about what emotions, thoughts and feelings are driving their need to cling to the term

Because honestly, the internet doesn't tend to respect or value personal emotions, thoughts and feelings that make things important to someone, especially when being argued with the "its RACIST" statement, but honestly, I dislike that push for perfection / perfect behavior and the term itself - from my Buddhist perspective - really isn't that much of a hill to die on for me.

If the term means THAT much to a community and is THAT hard to part with for one reason or the next, I'm more than fine with letting it go / be, but only if the same kindness and acknowledgement of emotions, feelings, thoughts, and harm are extended equally back.

[inferencesarchives]

Hai this anon. This is honestly my First request. But i was thinking of a Vampire royal margarine x reader? I wonder how Romantic will it be?

Vampire Royal Margarine Headcanons

royal margarine cookie x gn reader

summary: my thoughts on what a romantic relationship with royal margarine cookie would be like if he was a vampire ooo

warnings: flirting, mentions of biting (this is a vampire au after all), physical touch (kinda?)

ok this is an interesting concept. mans is already romantic and flirty as is, and vampires in general are also pretty romantic, so right off the bat he's probably even more flirtatious with you.

probably wouldn't try to bite you unless you specifically give him permission to. he wouldn't wanna accidentally draw too much blood and have you end up fainting or worse, after all.

that being said, he probably has little blood pouches stored away somewhere in the house for him to snack on during the day. also thinks that if he tried to consume some random person's blood, it might cause a scene, so it's better if he has some extra samples tucked away.

likes to show off all his special vampire powers to you. turns into a bat, does telepathy, the whole shabang.

^^^he does this a lot, but really the only other time he actually uses his powers is when he turns into a bat to run away from monsters.

once again, as a vampire this man is even MORE flirtatious with you. does all the little things you see in old-timey romance novels. kisses your knuckles, whispers sweet words in your ear, etcetera etcetera. (im sorry i never read any vampire romances like twilight so i just went with regular old romance novel things lolol)

almost always has the curtains closed whenever the two of you are indoors. he's not too weak to sunlight, but after a few hours of being out in the sun, it irritates his skin and annoys him. plus, he just generally dislikes it, so he stays inside and in the dark.

allergic to garlic. complains about this allergy a lot because he thinks garlic bread probably tastes good, and he would love to try it, but he can't. he has tried to eat it before though. you had to pry the garlic bread out of his hands before he could take a bite because you would prefer it if you didn't have to take him to the hospital.

bonus: one time in the middle of the night you found him randomly crouching in the corner just sucking on one of his blood packets because he got hungry and wanted a midnight snack. he very awkwardly explained what he was doing and followed you back to bed after you spotted him.

a/n: tried to fit in as many vampire tropes as i possibly could into this one yall

thanks for stopping by!

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[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 8

Good evening! (For me anyway) This one is going to be another short one, but I promise the last two chapters of Part 1 are over 1.5k words each so you'll get plenty for the final two parts! If you're enjoying it so far, do message or comment to be added to the taglist. Enjoy :))))) <3

Summary: Welcome to Middle Earth! Though not in a nice way, you've got some challenging things to experience. Enjoy your stay!

Tags: Kíli x oc/reader - Fíli x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company x ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - SUPER slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 948

Warnings: Mentions of Minor and Major Injuries from last chapter, People waking up and panicking a bit too much.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

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< Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 >

PART 1: Chapter 8 -

How it feels to chew five gum.

Jamais Vu (definition): translates to ‘never seen’. When one experiences being unfamiliar with a person or situation that is actually very familiar.

Twisting around in my sleep was a bit of a mistake, seeing that I ended up leaning on practically every injury I had.

Not to mention the loud voice that sent Kay into hysterics. But what really had my eyes shooting open was that she had accidentally planted her foot right where I felt it in my ribs. Broken bones remember?

Sitting up on my good arm, I faced over my shoulder to where I had heard Kay land unceremoniously on the floor, her legs the only thing I could see kicking about as she tried to untangle herself from the covers. I blinked at the early morning light, getting my bleary eyes to finally open up properly, when I froze.

Well, we were certainly no longer in the middle of nowhere, instead a completely strange place, as if we had gone back in time. By the looks of it, it was definitely a bedroom of some sort, though it looked as if it had shrunk ever so slightly, if the feeling of my feet hanging off the edge of the bed answered anything. It was also concerning as I had no recollection of arriving here, and I doubted Kay would either.

Regardless of how much it resembled the definition of an age old English cottage, the one thing that stood out to me was the weirdest feeling that I somewhat knew what this place was. A familiar place that I had never been to. Thankfully, my questions were answered when I looked towards the foot of the bed.

My face went slack with shock and all I could do was stare. He stared back most of the time; his eyes darting back and forth every once in a while.

Kay was still flapping around, though now only her arms as she brought herself to her feet. She looked at me, then to where I was staring, only to fall silent herself, her eyes stretching wide as her mouth fell open.

The miniature version of Martin Freeman himself was stood at the foot of the bed, looking like this was the last place he wanted to be right now.

He became easily flustered, redness crawling up his neck and over his round face. We were staring after all, gobsmacked, in absolute silence at him as if he was some sort of zoo animal. I opened my mouth slightly, chapped lips cracking after drying out all night. I wanted to say at least something before this non-existent conversation become even more awkward as it was. I didn’t get very far though, since anything that once was died back down my throat, and I pressed my lips back together.

Seeing that we weren’t going to move at this moment, he stuttered out that breakfast was ready, before darting out of sight, scurrying down the hall before either of us could say a word.

It wasn’t like either of us were planning to say anything, considering we spent the next twenty seconds or so gaping at the empty door frame, before slowly turning towards each other.

I was the first to rouse from our mutual state of shock, silently mouthing ‘WHAT THE FUCK’, as I pointed my finger wildly, whipping my head back and forth at Kay and the door.

‘I DON’T KNOW’ Kay mouthed back as she flailed her own hands around in confusion.

I frantically beckoned Kay towards me, waiting until she had clambered back on the bed before slapping my bandaged hand on her shoulder.

“That isn’t the actor.” I murmured.

“Uh-huh.” She nodded.

“He’s far too short to actually be Martin Freeman.”

She nodded her head eagerly in anticipation.

“Do you realise what this means??” I hissed. She stared, waiting. My eyes became wide and unfocused, as it finally dawned on me.

“We’re in Middle Earth?!?!?!”

Kay took a deep breath, seeming to hold it in as she tried to contain herself. However, we were soon both flailing slightly in excitement.

“Holy shit you’re right.” She answered with a laugh, as she bounced around the bed, eagerly taking in what was around her. I wildly grinned back with the same enthusiasm. Placing my hands on my lap, I took them off less than a second later at the unusual feeling. Looking down, I let out a whine at the sight of dried mud on my trousers.

“Though we didn’t exactly arrive in the best of conditions.” I added, flicking away bits of mud and dried blood. Kay looked down at her own self and let out a groan at the sight of her cargo trousers on the verge of becoming completely ruined.

“Forget that.” she replied, picking at the material. “If this place doesn’t cure my goddamn depression, then I really don’t know what will.” I let out a short laugh at the statement.

The sound of teacups clinking together from deeper in the house somewhat managed to knock us out of our state as we realised we were currently in someone’s home as guests. And very dirty ones at that.

Kay swiftly slid off the bed onto her feet, picking up anything that her unruly wake up technique had knocked off the mattress. I followed suit, standing up to stretch as much as I could without disturbing my fractures. Though that proved to be a mistake as I ended up colliding my head with the ceiling, Kay letting out a cry of laughter when I yelped in surprise.

Now weary at the height of things, I tried my best to recall what Bilbo had stuttered out about where to go, then turned to lead us both through the door into the rest of the hobbit’s home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

< Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 >

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Can't wait to see you on the 12th May for Chapter 9! Also please comment if you want to be added to the Taglist <3

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[katatonicimpression]

Hmm OK I'm about to just direct bitch about something I read in a tag and I'm aware that that's unkind but it's such a weird take to me, I feel like I need to express my thoughts

So, this is what they said:

This feels so strange to me. Broadly:

This isn't boring neutral coworker stuff, it's direct antagonism and also they kind of aren't friends?

They're relationship is antagonistic right now specifically because of whats happened in other series - so, not a lack of continuity but the opposite

The fandom point is bizarre in a number of ways

So Number 1, what we've been seeing between Sam and T'Challa in this series so far (since issue 1 let's be clear) is T'Challa being a dick to Sam unprompted. He's condescending to him and generally being prickly, and Sam clearly bothered by it. This is actually kind of fun to read, in particular T'Challa's insistence on calling him "Sam" only - it's interesting, T'Challa is intensely bothered by this one guy in a way that is kind of more intimate than their early encounters.

And, yeah, I don't think they've ever been friends necessarily. They've worked together a lot of times. They seem to like each other. Sam seems to really look up to and respect T'Challa, and T'Challa seems charmed by and impressed by Sam. But they weren't close by any means - they don't hang out outside of work etc. What we're seeing here is that same dynamic turned a little dark, purely because T'Challa is being a dick.

Also, unless something goes horribly wrong here on the writing side of things, it's clear that this antagonism is a plot thread that's been set up, currently expanded upon and will be resolved in the series. It's there on purpose and hopefully will end with them closer than before... and if not that, it will at least end with them putting this shit behind them (again, so long as the writing doesn't completely collapse behind the scenes which does happen in comics a lot lol)

Number 2, I agree that they seem to have forgotten that T'Challa made Sam's original wings, and actually also made his current get up, or at least the shield. I'd love for them to talk about that.

That said, I think you could bring it up in a way that compliments the current drama. Sam is indebted to tchalla, it's part of why he respects him so much, but also might make him pull his punches when the guy is being a dick... or does he? Maybe t'challa thinks he ought to, but maybe Sam doesn't care.

So, currently in canon, Wakanda is experimenting with a more democratic system, and T'Challa is having a personal crisis. He's still being the Black Panther, but in a more secretive, quasi-exiled way, and he's having difficulties reconciling his identity as his nations hero with not being their leader - he feels untethered. His current series (by eve ewing) is about this and it's good, I recommend. But, in short, he's more grumpy than usual because he's having the least relatable personal crisis of all time.

In symbol of truth, tchalla picks a fight with Sam (instead of just talking about how Sam mostly accidentally broke some wakandan laws). Sam is there in jeans and a t-shirt ((no suit, no wings, no shield) and wins.

This is, presumably, humiliating for t'challa, and he is canonically very pissy about it. You could imagine that the fact that he made Sam's gear could add to this dynamic. Sam wasn't reverent to him, didn't perform gratitude and then had the audacity to prove that he didn't really need his help anyway.

But yes, this is why T'Challa feels this way, its why he's acting like this. This is absolutely continuous with current canon. It's not an inconsistency. It just makes sense in universe.

Now, if you'd rather they just didn't write this drama because you'd rather they dropped this thread and just portrayed them as friends, then say that. Like, that's a completely valid opinion idk why you wouldn't just say it instead of acting like it's inconsistent writing when it isn't.

Number 3 is where I am confused. So, no one cares what anyone says on tumblr, that's a freebie. For twitter, yes sometimes writers do listen to fans in ways that end up not working out but is this person seriously suggesting that some writer would deliberately make a series worse to appease fans of other series? Think about that for a second. No one is sitting at a desk going "aha! I'll make the series bad, that'll show em!".

Not that I actually think the series is bad but you get my point.

So, the Fantastic Four are literally family. X-teams tend to be a mixture of family, found family and coworkers. This is true for avengers teams to, although they often have a greater percentage of coworkers who don't really know each other. This is because the x-men more often live together, and are often formed out of necessity because the humans are trying to kill them. The avengers are more often literally co-workers; a bunch of individual heroes, with separate lives, often living planets away from each other, individually recruited to a constructed team. Like, that's fine. That's not anti-avenger propaganda from fantastic four fans, it's just the literal canon situation a lot of the time.

This particular team has two people who used to be married to each other, then a bunch of people with varying degrees of familiarity and friendship. Two of them are currently having drama, and it's arguably the most emotional they've ever been about each other. This sounds like a good thing to me! This kind of storyline is what takes two characters from coworkers to something more meaningful, you know?

It's a particularly weird complaint to bring up with Sam. In the MCU, Sam is very much an avenger, was in the team for years and a pivotal part of it. In the comics, he comes and goes, joined to replace hawkeye then quit, led them for a bit in the 2010s (but that was mostly a different team) then quit again.. etc.. He seems to have a difficult relationship with the concept, and is only occasionally actually friends with these people (Steve, Jane). Honestly, it feels ooc when he's portrayed as friendly with some of them. But I mention it because he's a weird character to focus on to make this point.

Anyway, the series has gone out of its way to portray closeness between tony and carol, who do actually have a deeper friendship than many of the others here. But for most of these dynamics, the groundwork is there, but if you want them to be portrayed as close friends or a found family or whatever, then that actually needs to be developed in, you know, storylines. You can't just dump them on a team and say "they're besties now".

You might, in fact, want to write something where the current situations that the characters are in, and their recent interactions, affect the way they treat each other. Idk. Maybe even with some cattiness and antagonistic banter? And then maybe let that play out? Idk it's just a thought

[obeiii-mee]

Can I angst for Mammon where he is in a really bad mood and his brothers are at it again calling him names. And already ask them kindly to leave him alone but they keep at it. And Levi says something and it's the last straw. The air around them get cold for a moment as he slowly looks up and he flat out threatens them to shut up before he puts them back into there place with a really dark and threatening voice, before leaving. And the look could rival Satan's or even Lucifers glare.

I think Mammon takes the abuse of his brothers but sometimes he isn't in the mood and want a little peace and it is very very rare for him to get pissed

Like he's the kind of person who would yell when he's upset but when he's down right pissed it's like really fucking scary

People forget that as much as he lets his brothers push him around he is still the second oldest and is powerful so 😬

Brothers+ undateables reaction

Mammon snaps:

___________________

This is something I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but I basically second everything you said. I believe that Mammon dislikes getting into confrontations but isn’t by any means weak or stupid. He is the second eldest. However he is also, arguably, the one with the most self control out of them all. He has an overwhelming amount of patience when it comes to his siblings and I like to think he puts up with all of their insults because he loves them. Then again, it’s very possible for him to go berserk after years worth of build up.

Thanks for the request!!! I had a bit of trouble at first because I didn’t know how I was going to format it but I like the way it turned out so I hope you do too. Uhh also I reached my word limit writing this so I couldn’t include Simon, Luke and Solomon. I do plan on writing for them as well but at this point I’m just trying to get this done. Let me know if I made any grammatical errors! I double check my writing all the time but sometimes mistakes got over my head! The undateables are short because honestly I view the brothers as the ones who will suffer the most out of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading it anyway!!

•Characters: Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphagour, Diavolo, Barbatos.

⚠️Warnings: Cursing, mentions of blood & gore and that’s about it.

___________________

For the past few months, Lord Diavolo’s pleasure of hosting parties and inviting people over had become more and more noticeable. It was pretty obvious that the Prince was lonely, isolating himself from others due to the responsibilities he has as the heir to the throne and a leader in the making. Attending his gatherings seemed like a down right chore for most of the brothers but you never had any problem tagging along. Besides, it felt nice knowing he seemed you worthy of coming to such important meetings. Your seven demons were, of course, also invited and per Lucifer’s orders, they all got cleaned up and dressed in fancy clothing to impress the regals prancing about the castle. Though the outfits themselves came with their own set of problems. Levi’s was way too tight; the collar seemed to annoy him more than anything else, judging by the patches of red skin on his neck. Satan accidentally ripped one of the buttons from his jacket off in a fit of rage earlier that day and was now silently fuming while poking his finger through the hole he made. Even Asmo spilled some water on his shirt before they arrived, ruining his pretty pink suit! Not to mention Beel was munching on his tie, having last eaten about 15 minutes beforehand. Lucifer pulled it out of his mouth and scowled at the saliva stains that were left behind. Safe to say they were all in a miserable mood to begin with.

“I expect all of you to behave in a respectable manner,” Lucifer flicked Belphie on the back of the head just as he began dozing off, making the youngest growl at him. He shot Mammon an irritated look “I’m especially talking to you Mammon. Don’t try to steal anything or I’ll cut your hands off.”

“I told ya big bro, ya don’t have to worry about me! I’ll be a golden child today! Promise!” Mammon held up his pinky as if he was committing to some kind of oath. The eldest darkened his glare and opened his mouth to say something else, but you interrupted in hopes of avoiding any bickering that might’ve followed.

“Look, there’s our table! Let’s go sit down. Lord Diavolo’s speech is going to start any minute now.”

Beel leaped at the table as soon as he sniffed out the appetisers, which were neatly arranged on the expensive tablecloth, shoving at least half of them in his mouth by the time the rest of you caught up with him. Having been seated, you quickly glanced around the room in hopes of spotting Diavolo. You bumped into Solomon and the angels before entering the castle, chit chatting with them for a while about the event. Even now, Luke was excitedly waving at you from across the room, using both of his arms. However, Lord Diavolo and Barbatos were the ones in charge of this party and you were yet to see either of them.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mammon eyeing the golden utensils laid out in front of him. Not the biggest of surprises really. Anytime Mammon sees something along the lines of gold, he can’t help but snatch it away. And there’s obviously so many valuables scattered all over the place, including the silverware that was proudly presented on every table. You sucked in a breath of anticipation when he reached for one of the spoons, only to exhale in relief when he placed it on the bridge of his nose, trying to balance it.

“MC, look at this!” He tapped your shoulder, as always wanting your full and undivided attention as he demonstrated his newfound skill. You giggled at his antics with fondness as he accidentally let the spoon drop with a clatter and a quiet ‘shit’ coming from him. Lucifer pulled on his ear, like a mother scolding her child and whisper-yelled at him to stop acting like an idiot. The only reason the oldest chose a sit right next to Mammon was to maintain order and peace. Basically, he did it for disciplinary reasons.

“I understand that being impertinent is your full-time job, Mammon but keep this up and I’ll throw you in Cerberus’ room. Let him do with you as he pleases.”

“Lucifer, it’s not a big deal-“

“Yeah, OK,” Mammon hissed, picking up the spoon from the recently polished floor with a slight grin that didn’t quiet reach his eyes “I gotcha. Can-“

“Speaking of Cerberus,” Levi suddenly piped in, no longer fussing about his collar or nervously twiddling with his thumbs because of the massive crowd of demons surrounding him “Didn’t you force me to walk him last week when it was your turn to do it?? I only agreed because you promised to buy me the newest Ruri-Chan limited edition body pillow that came out last Tuesday! And you never did! And now they’re out of stock, you scummy piece of-“

The third eldest would’ve leapt across the table and aimed for the throat if you hadn’t pressed a gentle hand against his chest, making him sit back down with a huff. People were starting to stare at the commotion coming from your table, turning heads and muttering between themselves. You were slowly dying from embarrassment by the way, since you guys definitely became the topic of conversation for the other guests. The brothers were being too noisy to even notice and Lucifer himself was too preoccupied to see the scene they were creating which made you further slouch down into your chair, silently hoping for the ground to swallow you whole. The night really wasn’t going as intended. You could hear Solomon laughing at the brothers’ antics from three tables down.

“I guess that’s Mammon for you,” Belphie yawned, barely raising his head from table “He lies everyday, all day. What exactly is new here? And that says something since it’s coming from me.”

“I apologised for that!” Mammon whined, referring to Levi’s accusation and choosing not to address Belphie’s insult “I was gonna buy it but then I realised I spent all my money earlier that week anyway so I couldn’t!”

“Perhaps that wouldn’t happen if you learned how to save the money you earn properly,” Satan muttered, sipping from his glass of whatever beverage he had snatched from the servants earlier “Not like you know how to earn money in any way besides stealing it.”

You watch as Mammon clenched his fist “Can we please just move on-“

“I can’t believe that I was cursed with this moron for a brother,” Asmo sighed, almost theatrically, as if he was performing. And, in a way, he was. People were getting really interested in the drama unfolding over there. It was making you even more anxious, all those eyes staring at you. The Avatar of Lust was leaning so much on his chair, you were sure he was going to topple over and at this point, you kinda hoped he would. Anything to stop this momentum of hatred aimed at Mammon “You’re always getting us in trouble, you know. Hmph, we can’t go anywhere with you Mammon! You always end up ruining it for us! With your stupid schemes and-“

“I’m hungry-“

“Not now, Beel!”

“Cutting him up into tiny pieces for the witches will always be an option,” Lucifer chimed in, smiling at the thought.

Mammon snapped his head upwards at that. It was such an abrupt reaction, it made you jolt a little in your seat. You couldn’t miss the tension radiating from him, how quickly his body stiffened and exactly how hard his hands were gripping the edge of the table. His brothers were still paying him no mind, blaming him for this and that under their breath or being silently judgemental in Lucifer’s case. You worried for him because Mammon rarely acted like this; feral, in a way. Just so you know, he definitely noticed it. The look of concern plastered all over your face. That’s the only reason he released the table from his vice-like grip and slouched back against his chair. Satan went quiet and was staring at Mammon in bewilderment.

He disliked the idea of you watching him lose control of himself. He was your guardian. Your first pact. It’s important to him that your relationship is build around a pillar of trust. And he can’t even expect you to trust him if he exposes you to his demon form every time something inconveniences him. Mammon would rather cease to exit than have you fear him. So he kept his breathing regulated as the fog cleared his mind. The Avatar of Greed isn’t an angry demon. Snuffing out the the flame of rage he had fanned up until then was relatively easy. He just needed to get through tonight, then he could go home and complain to you about it once he got out of his brothers’ earshot.

“Why does he get to spend so much time with MC anyway? He’d probably sell them for a few Grimm any time of the day, wouldn’t he? It’s so fucking unfair. He won’t change no matter what so why risk MC’s safety? I will summon Lotan on him if he starts getting on my nerves.”

It would be an understatement to say that those words rubbed Mammon the wrong way, judging by the lack of immediate response. It was unexpected for him keep his mouth shut at a time like this. What was even more unexpected was the abrupt, delayed reaction he had a few seconds afterwards, resulting in his chair being flung back about 5 feet in that general direction. The seemingly deafening thud it made when it collided with the floor echoed around the dining hall, bouncing off walls and whacking people over the heads with the aggression behind it. A moment of pure, indescribably loud silence filled the crowded space as everyone else stared in shock at their brother, mouths agape and eyes bulging out of their sockets. Mammon would’ve laughed at their faces if it weren’t for the circumstances leading up to that point.

“What gives any of you the right to treat me like some sort of punching bag?” Mammon drawled, accentuating his obviously superior nature to almost every single demon at that table. He laughed, in an oddly half hearted way, before his sea struck gaze landed back to his siblings “Do not try to push me into a corner, because I will not handle it well. You’ve been having a field day with me for centuries now and I’m starting to get really ticked off, ya know? But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve done everything in my power to keep MC alive for the past few months and y’all are acting as if I’m out here playing with their life. Complain about me all you want. But...” He thumped the table, loud enough to make all the noblemen in the room flinch.

“Don’t you dare insinuate that I would ever put MC in danger, willingly or not because I will rip out your insides and paint the walls of this palace with them while hanging your intestines from these chandeliers. I will pluck your hairs out one by one, then your nails, then your eyeballs and then your teeth. You’re the ones that have put MC in danger’s way time and time again in the past few weeks, and you’re out here trying to suggest that I would even think about hurting them? Unlike every single one of you, who almost killed my human-you’re lucky I don’t have your fucking heads.”

He smashed his fist into the table again, using even more of his strength this time and effectively breaking the whole thing, the wooden legs giving out and shattering into thousands of splinters. Mammon spoke again, his voice lowering “MC forgave you. I didn’t. And I have no reason to. Not with how you’ve been treating me.”Once he spit that out, Mammon turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole building, leaving his siblings in dazed awe.

......

Even more silence. For some reason, all of the brothers at the now broken table ended up looking your way, silently questioning what they should do. It often ended up like this

You gave them all an unimpressed stare and a half-assed shrug “Don’t look at me. You guys fucked up.” Before sliding out of your seat and following Mammon out of the castle, sending an apologetic smile to Diavolo on your way out. Hopefully, you could manage to calm him down before everyone else gets home otherwise this might drag on for a while.

Lucifer:

-In all honesty, he probably saw the signs from a mile away and still decided to ignore them

-Maybe because he believed they weren’t being all that harsh on him, even if in Mammon’s eyes they were

-‘Harsh’ in Lucifer’s vocabulary usually means being hanged upside down from a ceiling or publicly executed, not a couple of mere insults

-Not to mention the eldest had always been horrible at communicating with his brothers when it came to emotions

-Despite Mammon clearly suffering from the treatment he received from his brothers, Lucifer refuses to believe he’s the root of the problem

-As the Avatar of Pride, he always had a hard time realising that all those words and the constant teasing, which he deemed to be pretty harmless, scarred Mammon a lot more than expected

-Once he actually comes to that conclusion, and after getting over the initial shock, Lucifer would probably feel the guiltiest out of them all

-Being the eldest means he carries quite a few burdens on his shoulders as most responsibilities fall on him due to his prideful nature

-He would blame himself for Mammon’s outburst simply because he’s the older brother and he should’ve known better, not just because he sees how a big of a role he played in all of this

-Usually, if his brothers do something bad, then he’s there to fix it within hours, that’s how it always worked

-Except he doesn’t know how to fix this exactly

-The problem is he has no idea how to approach Mammon after that sudden meltdown and he has no idea how to talk it out with him because he sucks at expressing himself verbally

-And since this took place in a public space, Lord Diavolo’s Palace no less, he felt really conflicted on what should have been done at that moment in time

-There was a lot of frustration, embarrassment and confusion in him for a good five minutes after Mammon slammed that door shut behind him and even after he gathered his thoughts together, he was still in shock for the rest of the night

-In any case, the whole event was promptly cancelled and everyone ended up going home earlier than expected, after Lucifer apologised to Diavolo about the spectacle they created (several times)

-When they finally get home, he decided to give Mammon his space instead of trying to knock at his door and instead went back to his room

-He knows they will need to solve this matter soon but there’s no way Mammon will want to see, let alone talk, to any of them just yet

-He’s sort of hoping he can apologise best he can next morning at breakfast, cross his fingers and wish for the best but judging by the venom that laced Mammon’s voice the night before, it’s not likely he will forgive any of them that easily.

Levi:

-If I were to guess, he saw the ending credits of his life flash before his very eyes as soon as those words left his mouth

-Levi felt a panic in him like never before, not even while playing his engaging horror visual novels at 3am in complete darkness or that one time he used Lucifer’s credit card to buy merch before being found out

-Must’ve forgotten his brother technically ranks higher than him on the power scale for a second there

-Or maybe he didn’t think his insults were going to affect him much

-They usually don’t

-Or at least that’s the impression he’s been under for a while now

-Mammon doesn’t snap easily under pressure but Levi must’ve really hit a nerve there that night

-While everyone was sitting in a short silence after Mammon left the building, he started twiddling with his fingers again the more he thought about it

-Because now he went from nervous to fucking terrified of what the hell was waiting for him when he finally got home

-He does feel guilty, nowhere near as much guilt as Lucifer feels but still pure shame

-However most of that guilt is swallowed by a steady fear and the constant worry of ‘how do I stop my brother from killing me?’

-Unlike Lucifer, I honestly don’t see him taking any sort of initiative when it comes to apologising to Mammon

-Not even because he doesn’t want to, but he would freeze up if he were to come face to face with him after that incident and then scamper back to his room like a rat in hiding

-So without your help, it’s likely the two won’t be speaking to each very soon which can honestly make life at the House of Lamentation so much more miserable

-In the end, if either you or Lucifer forced him to, he would say sorry by selling some of his merch and then giving him the profits (in secret but we all know it’s him)

-That is a big sacrifice on Levi’s part considering how precious his merchandise is to him

-But the idea that he’s gonna get murdered in his sleep by his older brother was getting a tad too real

-Besides, Mammon is still his brother and if he has to sell a couple of items in order to make him less mad, he would do it, albeit with a bit of grumbling

-Despite that, Mammon still refuses to come out of his room and sort of relies on you to bring him food because he doesn’t want to see his brothers

-Levi and Mammon would probably have to rebuild a lot of their relationship after this but it could easily take months for that to happen since Levi is too terrified to look him in the eye and Mammon is too upset to even hear his voice

Satan:

-He wouldn’t be the Avatar of Wrath if he couldn’t spot the anger within someone from a mile away

-He’s always been able to recognise the fury building up inside of him so for Satan it’s second nature to just know when someone’s on the brink of snapping

-It’s no surprise to say that he probably noticed Mammon’s wrath spilling out before anyone else did

-But alas, he realised it too late

-If he had reacted quicker, maybe he would’ve been able to diffuse Mammon before he exploded on them. Or not

-It’s difficult to tell if he could’ve actually helped because who was he to tell Mammon to calm down??? If anyone told him that while he was throwing a fit, he would probably break their necks-

-In the end, he just pressed his lips into a straight line and watched his brother throw his chair across the room

-Not gonna lie, he found it a bit entertaining purely because of the look on Lucifer’s face

-Satan had to try really hard not to crack a smile because he knew Mammon would probably smash a glass against his head or something

-Even so, he was the first to stand up and offer to go after him, though he wasn’t sure he could do much consoling

-Being so experienced with anger meant that he knew Mammon had built himself into a rage that he won’t be able to escape out of too easily

-Which is why he advises Lucifer to give Mammon his space once they get home

-Overall, the most understanding out of all of the brothers

-At this point in time, probably the least judgemental out of everyone and once Mammon comes out of his room for the first time in a while, either him or Beel is going to apologise to him first

-He may push and push him alongside the rest of his siblings but I feel like Satan doesn’t want to reach a certain low, like cornering Mammon into the frenzy he had that day ever again

-He might get pissy with him if he’s being too stubborn to forgive anyone after coming down from his intrusive thoughts

-And he really hates that Mammon had to remind them about all the times you had nearly died because of them, because he knows they won’t be able to make it up to you so why is Mammon upset about this????

-But he will try to maintain respect for his older brother from then on

-Even if the sharpest of remarks is on the top of his tongue!

Asmo:

-Asmo is the type to laugh it off and then start feeling really upset about it later on, the longer he thinks about the whole thing

-After Mammon storms out, he just assumes it’s another one of those ‘Mammon’ things and tried to brush the feeling of unease off him

-Even so, later that night the memory of Mammon kept coming back to him while he laid in his bed, unable to have a nice rest for the first time in how long? He’s always been really strict about his sleeping schedules after all

-Asmo’s observant, almost on par with Satan himself when it comes down to it. He definitely saw the gleam of anger, pent up frustration and hatred in his brothers’ eyes that moment and it legitimately scared him, even if it was for just half a second

-Honestly, he begins neglecting himself out of anticipation and worry which is a huge red flag for the Avatar of Lust who always holds himself at such a superior level compared to everyone else

-It may start out slow, but it has the same effect as a snowball rolling down the hill. It becomes more of a problem the longer it’s ignored

-Because he spends most of his days now debating whether he should try to coax his brother into coming out of his room and apologising to him, he forgets about himself

-Skincare routines are missed, pedicure appointments have been cancelled; hell, if Mammon’s keeps being stubborn, he may let his hair become absolutely filthy

-Asmo sort of relies on his brothers to provide the living environment he revolves around. If something is off with his brothers, he can not work properly either because it doesn’t feel right to do so

-Imagine a machine not working anymore because one of the clogs in it got stuck

-I can see Asmo feeling a decent amount of guilt when it comes to the situation but he still blames Levi for completely pushing him over the edge at dinner

-So now those two aren’t talking (it’s honestly so exhausting since they’re shoving the blame onto each other without stop)

-If Mammon decides to come out and hear them out, Asmo might get on his knees and beg because that guilt bubbling up inside of him may end up being his demise

-No seriously, MC might need to keep an eye out on him too while comforting Mammon because whatever he is doing isn’t healthy

-Takes Mammon’s outburst pretty badly and tries apologising to him many times but the second eldest still hasn’t said a word to any of them

-And that’s driving him into a fucking swirl of insanity at this point

-Of course, much like Mammon’s mental breakdown, this builds up over time but the result can be devasting

-If you pass by his room at night, you could probably hear him sob about how his brother hates him and it’s really heartbreaking to hear pained cries like that coming from such an overly confident demon like Asmo

Beel:

-Literally the only one here that doesn’t dish out insults onto Mammon every hour of the day

-He joins in very rarely and even when he does, it’s usually in good nature rather than malice

-Unless food is involved. Feelings (and Mammon) might be hurt if that’s the case

-Beel wasn’t listening to his siblings as they were diminishing Mammon, he was way too hungry to comprehend what the hell they were on about

-So he just started wolfing down appetisers until he noticed you looking all weary

-That’s the first thing that put him on alert

-And then the second born’s aura was also...off putting

-Might’ve actually tried to nudge Belphie to stop him from saying anything offensive to Mammon in this state when he realised how tense the atmosphere got

-Flinched when his brother left the palace, almost cracking the whole doorway on his way out

-Hunger is all but gone and at this point he wants to go home to check up on him

-Beel is a bit of a softie and he wears his heart on his sleeve a lot of the times

-He never did anything particularly bad to Mammon, not on the same scale his brothers did certainly and yet he still felt extremely bad

-Perhaps because he didn’t step in as much as he should’ve...?

-Either way, when his loved ones suffer, he has a tendency of putting the blame on himself because he feels it’s the only logical answer

-Honestly, he feels guilty enough to the point where it’s affecting his eating habits-which is obviously not normal for the Avatar of Gluttony

-Beel knows Mammon doesn’t want to talk to him but he still brings him food and leaves it at the doorstep of his room since he doesn’t want to come out and have dinner with them

-Or he relies on you to give it to him

-The thought of Mammon being so mad at them that he doesn’t even want to eat makes him feel so vulnerable

-As soon as he sees him for the first time since that night, he will probably be the first to apologise, even if Mammon isn’t in the mood to hear apologies

-Again, he’s trying to use food to make up to him (bringing him his favourites and paying for them)

-Even if he gets ignored, he’s still going to do it

-Beel is trying his best to say sorry to his older brother the only way he knows how to do so, but Mammon still doesn’t give in

Belphie:

-Could’ve been asleep the whole time Mammon was thrashing about

-Or at least that’s what it looked like to the average passer-by

-Kept one eye open to watch as Mammon finally snapped under pressure, having to raise his head once his brother broke the whole god damned table

-“OK, alright, storm off I guess-I have a splinter now-“

-Don’t trust that sarcastic commentary, he’s in deep thought on the inside

-Maybe he should’ve expected this but then again, he never would’ve guessed Mammon had it in him to be so aggressive

-Will narrow his eyes at him when he talks your death and scowl

-As if he didn’t already feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit, he had to bring that up

-As soon as he leaves, he turns to Lucifer and goes “See what you did? You broke Mammon. You suck, Lucifer.”

-The shifting of blame suits Belphie really well (it takes Beel side glancing him to get him to shut up)

-The Avatar of Sloth is too tired to even try to communicate with his brother so he goes straight to bed after getting home

-However, he actually visits Mammon’s dreams that night

-Or at least tries to, if Mammon is getting any sleep after that showdown

-It’s his way of checking in with his brother, helps him evaluate the situation

- Whether that works or not, there was definitely an attempt that required a lot of effort and you don’t see that very often with Belphagour

-It really demonstrates how much he actually cares for his family, even if he hides behind snide remarks and the likes of it

-However, if Mammon refuses communication, then he can’t do anything but give up

-He clearly won’t be able to convince him to step aside for a chit chat and why waste energy trying to force him to do so

-When the time comes, Belphie knows his brother will willingly talk to him (or at least someone else because he knows he’s not any good at comfort or apologies)

-At the same time, a lot of the things Mammon said during that party rubbed him the wrong way and seeing his twin suffer because of it is also pissing him off so patience may be running thin with Belphie

-Like Levi, there may be a lot of ice between the two from then onwards so it won’t be easy for them to find the middle ground in this whole argument either

-It could lead to a strained relationship if no one intervenes or even a physical fight if the youngest pushes all of Mammon’s buttons properly

Diavolo:

-The Future King feels guilty too, for some reason

-He is clearly not involved but he’s under the impression his party was a catalyst of sorts to the fight that broke out that night

-Diavolo wasn’t even in the same room when it happened-he heard shouting and growling from next door whilst talking to a noble about future arrangements in DevilDom and rushed in

-The sight was something to behold really; Mammon cornering all of his brothers and threatening them with pure venom in his voice wasn’t something you saw everyday

-More often than not, it was the other way around so the Prince had every right to be concerned

-He tried asking Lucifer what was going on after the second eldest slammed the door shut behind him and left but to no avail; the Avatar of Pride was in a state of shock and the only thing he did was apologise to him about a million times before his departure with the rest of his siblings

-Despite his worry, Diavolo tried not to get involved in the aftermath either, believing it’s not his place to interfere and hoping they would solve it out amongst themselves

-He did give Mammon permission to miss RAD classes for that week, thinking a small break is what he needed most

-Even drops by every now and then to check up on him (he just asks you how he’s holding up because he doesn’t want to pry)

-He can’t do much but watch from the sidelines, I mean this is a family dispute so it would be wise to just give them all a bit of space

-If it drags on for too long, however, he will be forced to do something because the brothers are all distracted and can’t get on with their student council work because of it

-Lucifer is even more stressed than usual and can’t even focus during their meetings so for the sake of his friend, if nothing gets resolved quickly, he will intervene and it won’t be pretty

-For now, he’s counting on you to make sure there are no further incidents but it’s unlikely you can stop a train once it’s set in motion so just hope Mammon doesn’t come out of his room until he’s calmed down

Barbatos:

-The butler is a Time Lord so it’s probably no surprise to find out he already knew this was going to happen eventually

-Not like he believed Mammon was going to take his brothers’ insults for much longer anyway

-Being the quiet and observant demon he is, he’s been keeping a close eye on the Avatar of Greed knowing damn well he was going to lose his patience soon enough and go on the offence

-If he knew this was going to happen at such an important moment in time, he would’ve warned his majesty beforehand but he failed to see the potential catastrophe awaiting his breakdown

-Again, he has no right to intervene

-Unless, of course, Lord Diavolo asks him to do so but really the most he can do is give you tips on how to deal with miserable demons

-I mean, you’re the one that’s going to be stuck with them for the rest of the year and this isn’t the type of conflict that gets resolved too easily

-Barbatos is clever so if there is still bitterness between Mammon and his siblings after an amount of time passed, he might try to change timelines (with the permission of Diavolo)

-He’s had enough of Beel coming over to eat his cakes and cry about his older brother hating him (believe it or not, the butler is definitely a bit fond of the sixth eldest so his cries did pull at his heartstrings)

-Basically, in the same position as the Prince

-He relies on you to get them all to make up but he knows it’s not likely to happen any time soon

-For now, he’s getting ready for the chain reaction this fight set in motion because there was no easy way to end this, considering they’re all vicious demons and all

—————————————————————-

Al~ im mad I couldn’t add Simon, Luke and Solomon-I want to write for them too >:(

[literaphobe]

Realistically, who'd win in a fight between the feral boys?

u know what? i’ll give u one more. i’m gonna go through each feral boy dynamic and determine who i think would win and lose in each face off. bear in mind that i might change my mind about this on any other day so take it w a pinch of salt:

Dream vs George: tie. george would do some dumb move or talk/react in a crazy way that’ll make dream laugh and go ‘ur making me laugh that’s not even fair 🤣’ he’ll like somehow twist it into claiming george is cheating because he did some dumb underhand move or found a ticklish spot n call the whole fight off saying he’d have won anyway unless george fouled like the filthy cheater he is n then george would probably b like ok fine then let me hit u once just to see if it would hurt and dream would let him and anyone watching it would find it incredibly bizarre but that’s just how they are

Sapnap vs George: im sorry but he’s drop kicking george the second he walks through the door either that or he hugs him and cries for a solid hour. they’ll end up hanging out for hours even after fighting tho n i think george would prob be the one to convince dream to get their home gym set up so he could have one more outlet to amuse himself with. he’d watch the Buff Sapnap arc unfold as he plays w a gym bouncy ball and tells sapnap he isn’t bench pressing enough weight n needs to double the load. anyway sapnap would crush him easy. he’s been loading up on protein n greens this entire time n playing basketball n going ollie on his skateboard. george had a grape the other day and thought it was gonna make him buff and his source of protein is mcdonald’s nuggets. he also struggles to open windows in cable cars. most importantly, he has NOT to my knowledge, went ollie on a skateboard. sapnap wins hands down

Quackity vs George: trickier than you might think actually. because funnily enough quackity is one of the biggest victims of the GeorgeNotFound™ effect. yes i think quackity if pushed past his breaking point could absolutely pummel the shit out of george but george has a mouth as much as quackity has fists and sometimes all he needs to say is ‘Are You Done Now?’ or ‘I’m Leaving, If You Don’t Stop/Give Me What I Want Right Now I’m Actually Leaving’ and then it becomes a REAL toss up. victor of this fight changes depending on the day

Karl vs George: hm. george wins. no. karl wins. no. they both lose

Dream vs Sapnap: sapnap talks a big game of how he could take any of these dudes he could kick anyone’s ass he’s so strong he’s gonna rip em all apart but—he can’t wake dream up for an among us game? :/ he’s too scared to go into dream’s room? :/ he HIMSELF thinks dream could kick his ass? sorry sapnap if u don’t believe in urself n think height is everything n whatever aura dream has is everything then what can i do 😔 guess dream wins this one

Quackity vs Sapnap: huh. would it be weird to say that i think they are evenly matched based on what i know of them? like they’re equally physically intimidating as they are physically not intimidating. they would both talk SO much smack tho. so much that they might not actually fight. idk. quackity’s like boxed right? but also sapnap’s won that mr beast extreme tag thing. but also i literally do not know. not to give a cop out answer again but… t-tie? but in the sense where. they know it would be So evenly matched that if they actually fought for real they’d just both end up super injured w no clear winner

Karl vs Sapnap: karl paints his nails and that gives him super powers. he could probably knock sapnap out in one punch. PROVIDED he can find him. not only is sapnap a hide and seek champion he is clearly a full fledged skater boi now. he is so fast. he is zooming away on those wheelies as we speak. where will he go

Quackity vs Karl: i think karl would win but it’s an accident like. karl kicks a chair and it goes flying and quackity takes 10 damage. or karl falls over and crashes onto quackity. the whole fear of accidentally getting murdered by karl’s clumsiness/recklessness might throw quackity off enough for him to lose

Dream vs Karl: my mind is admittedly blanking at this one. i don’t know. i don’t think either of them would fight each other even if u forced them. i don’t think there is a Bone in either of their bodies that r willing to or care for antagonizing the other. they would probably hug n then like stage some half assed fight where it ends with them Winning Together or they take turns winning or dream ‘lets karl win’ and someone might point out that implies dream thinks He would win and then karl gets like jokingly passive aggressive about it

Quackity vs Dream: in some ways? fight of the century. absolute hoedown throwdown. this is the shortest person in the gc vs the tallest person we’re talking about. the two people who are Known for ‘fighting’ over the ‘love’ of ‘GeorgeNotFound’. buuuuuuut they also like each other a lot n want the other to like them a lot so much. buuuuuuut they also have a propensity for shit talking each other. i think dream might win but he might also cry from whatever psychic damage q inflicts but at the same time quackity might like pretend he threw on purpose n let dream win or he would use his loss as leverage over dream somehow and call him a very mean not good bully who bullies people physically over getting shoved slightly during the ‘fight’. OR dream makes one joke about how quackity is so short he has to bend over just to fight him or he purposely misses a punch and says he couldn’t reach because quackity’s too low and this causes q to see red meaning game over for dream

[horsesandhockeyplayers]

When Life Gives You Lemons-- Part 2

Warnings: Mature content, abuse, rape, eating disorders, OCD etc. Some of these things go into a bit of detail. These warnings are relevant to the whole fic not just particular chapters.

Word Count Chapter: 3663

Word Count Total: 7,949

Author's Note: Barbs and Lemon are back by popular demand! Thank you SO much to @hockeylvr59, @newlibrary, @itisawitchesworld, and Nora, who I can't seem to tag. The rewrite of this fic wouldn't have happened without all of you. Thank you for indulging my impulsivity. All of you can see Mark in action during the upcoming Olympics! Reminder that this fic starts during the summer of 2019. I will be tagging the Avs and Lausanne HC. Also *~*~*~*~* means a POV change. Flipping between Mark and Clementine. Today we are beginning with Clementine.

Chapter 2

I rolled my eyes so hard I’m pretty sure I saw my own brain, but despite that, I ended up sliding down the wall and sitting next to him. Thanks to the tilt of the floor, I slid next to him until we were touching, shoulder to hip.

“Is it difficult being this dumb all the time or does it come naturally?” A warning blinked behind my eyes, Brain to Mouth Filter Failure.

His beard was short, but thick; despite it, I saw his lips curve into a smile. “Around you it’s effortless.” He paused before continuing, “You know you seem pretty unperturbed about being stuck in a leaning elevator with a certified moron.”

I offered an anemic shrug before continuing nonchalantly, “Ohh ‘unperturbed.’ Did you hurt yourself?” One of his thick eyebrows arched and he flashed a 1000 watt smile but didn’t dish the insult back which made the game less fun so I answered, “My world feels like it’s on fire all the time. I’ve had complete mental breakdowns because I accidentally used a blue pen in a journal that I only used a black pen in. Comparatively, this feels like no big deal.” It felt weird to share that personal detail with someone I found so annoying.

He nodded at Daze, “Is that what she’s for?”

A personal detail was one thing, spilling my entire life story was another thing completely and he must have picked up on my hesitation because he held out his hand and said, “How about we start over. Hi, I’m Mark Barberio.”

Ok. He WAS an idiot, but at least he seemed aware of his hoof and mouth disease. I gave his hand a firm grip and shake. “Clementine. Clementine Jones, and this is Daisy, but I just call her Daze.”

“She seems like a good service dog and not at all for a blind person,” he grinned like this was now our inside joke.

I rested my hand on her head thinking about the freedom she gave back to me and took a deep breath, “She’s the best.”

The conversation lulled and I’d be the first to admit that I let it die. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I had a thought. “Wait, you said you texted Gabe?”

His answer was a lazy nod of the head with a “mmhmm” that sounded like it reverberated in his throat.

“What is the likelihood of him making me suffer by association, simply due to the fact that I’m stuck in an elevator with you? Because I just met him today and he seems like a nice dude and I think we’re copacetic, but I could easily see him leaving you in a steel box for a few hours.” I flashed back to the mischievous glint in Gabe’s eyes earlier.

Mark just shrugged, “I don’t know, Lime, guess it depends on if he likes you.”

“Great.” I slumped harder against the wall. “Any chance you want to share that Wi-Fi password so I can contact some people so they don’t worry?”

A few taps on his phone and a notification popped up asking if I wanted to save the password to the Wi-Fi. As soon as I hit accept, my phone started buzzing so hard it almost fell out of my hand.

Nora: Hey, I’m running late. There was a thing with the room I’m painting. It looks NOTHING like the swatch and after sanding and refinishing the floors and having the paint not look good I had a little mental breakdown. FINE NOW.

Nora: Ok, I am 10 minutes late, but where are you?

Nora: Ok. I’m worried now. Did you get stuck at work? WHERE ARE YOU?

Nora: CLEMENTINE, THIS ISN’T FUNNY. I’M GONNA CALL 911. I’M GONNA GET CADAVER DOGS. WHERE ARE YOU?

The last one came in as I hit reply and tried to tap out a response faster than Nora could dial 911.

I’m fine! Stuck in an elevator with no service! I’m sorry. I just got on the Wi-Fi.

Nora: Oh, shit! Are you alone? Do I still need to call 911? Where are you?

I’m fine. You know I handle actual emergencies better than like… not being able to find my lucky socks.

Nora: This is true and you’ve conveniently ignored the “are you alone” question.

I frowned. This was the negative part of sharing a solitary brain cell with your best friend.

I am not alone. There is another member of the Avs organization stuck in here with me.

Nora: “Another member of the Avs organization” very creatively not “Bob from accounting.” Are you stuck in the elevator with a PLAYER?

I reserve the right to remain silent

Nora: Nice try, that only works for the police. Not best friends. I’m allowed to torture you into telling me. That’s probably in the Geneva Convention somewhere. I’m sure of it.

I sighed and put down my phone, resisting the urge to rest my head against Mark’s shoulder. I told myself, it was because I was exhausted from my first day and now we were stuck in an elevator. He was busy tapping away on his own phone.

He slid his phone back into his pocket, “Why the sigh, Kumquat?”

At this point, he had to be trying to annoy me with the name thing so I just ignored it. Besides, I figured he’d run out of citrus fruits soon. “Overprotective best friend,” I grimaced.

“Ha!” he laughed humorlessly, “That must be nice. The team text is everyone sending me photos of their dinner.”

His stomach gave a rumble and I bit my lip trying not to smile, but failing. Quite miserably, in fact.

“Oh, so you think it’s funny that a pro athlete is missing dinner?” He gave my shoulder a nudge with his.

“Maybe a little.” My phone buzzed again.

Nora: CLEMENTINE.

Calm your tits, it’s just Mark Barberio. Not like I’m stuck with Cale or Nate.

Nora: Oh,so we’re just on a first name basis with all the Avs now, huh? It’s your first day. You work quick, sis.

NORA

Nora: Send me a selfie so I can be assured that you haven’t been kidnapped or are in mortal peril and I promise to only check in on you and Mr. Barberio every five minutes.

Ten

Nora: Seven.

Fine.

This was going to be awkward. Without preamble, I looked at Mark and inquired, “Do you want puppy ears or flower crowns?” While I waited for his response, I turned on my camera and lifted the phone in front of us.

And bless him, Mark said “What?” but smiled anyway because a camera was pointing at him. I snapped the picture and sent it to Nora.

He sighed, “If you post that anywhere, $10 says people are speculating that you’re my girlfriend within 12 hours.”

I offered a small laugh, “Please, they’ll be speculating that I’m out of your league.”

His resulting grin was almost blinding in contrast to his dark beard as he agreed, “No argument, but I like to shoot for the moon, at least if I miss I’ll land among the stars.”

It was a bastardized quote from The Power Of Positive Thinking, and I wondered if he knew that. Either way, I couldn’t honestly tell if he was flirting or not. It felt flirty, but my gauge was probably waaay broken after marrying my high school sweetheart and spending 7 years in a hellish, emotionally toxic marriage. My moment of uncertainty seemed to break the spell between us and, unsure as to what else to do, I awkwardly looked down at my phone. True to her word, goddamnit, Nora was giving me 7 minutes and I flicked through my email, desperate for a distraction.

Mark raised his arms and stretched, the movement of his t-shirt riding up drawing my eyes to the hem. It took me a moment to realize I was staring at the start of his happy trail and I felt a flush crawl up my neck. When he lowered his arms, he draped one around my shoulder. Did he just?

I cleared my throat before speaking, “Did you just use the stretch move on me, Barberio?”

He grinned, but didn’t move his arm or deny it, only pressing, “It worked, didn’t it?”

I frowned, flustered, and shrugged him off of me, before I said menacingly, “I could report you to HR.”

He returned his own shrug, “You could. But you won’t. I think you find me frustratingly endearing.”

He called my bluff and saw right through my empty threat, but even so, my eyes rolled of their own volition. When I realized I was speaking, it definitely confirmed my lack of filter or sense of self-preservation as I replied, “Endearingly exhausting, maybe.”

His grin almost broke his face, “You kept the endearing part. See?”

Goddamnit. I gave him an inch and he’d take a mile.

Then, he did the opposite of what I expected: he folded his hands behind his head, crossed his feet at the ankles, closed his eyes, and scooched down the wall a bit more like he was getting ready to take a nap.

“Are you seriously going to take a nap?” I asked incredulously.

“Yup.” He seemed without a care in the world.

“In a broken elevator with a crazy woman and her dog?”

He opened one eye and gave me an appraising look, “With another member of the Avalanche Organization and her service animal.”

I wanted to choke his smart ass, but I also wanted to kiss his smart mouth. Honestly, it was a toss up as to which one I wanted to do more and I found that supremely annoying.

“Easy, Orange,” he advised, “you look like you’re about to blow a blood vessel.”

At the same time as he said that, Daze put her paw on my thigh, her indicator that it was med time. I dug into my giant hobo/tote like bag for my Caboodle full of pills. Sometimes, it felt like I had an entire tackle box full of pills and medications.

I saw his eyebrow raise before he schooled his face into a more neutral look. I pulled out a huge multivitamin and tonight’s antidepressant of choice. I popped them and took a swallow from my water bottle. It took several sips before I felt the giant horse pill slide down and to be honest, it was a little uncomfortable performing this act, no matter how mundane, with an uninvited audience.

Mark seemed to lack a filter, too, and without hesitation he asked, “Did she just tell you to take your pills?”

I nodded.

“That’s cool! What else does she do?”

The pause was awkward on my part as I tried to process how to respond, “Um….that’s kind of like asking ‘What’s wrong with you?’”

He looked mildly surprised, and I swear I could see the cogs and wheels of his brain clicking, “Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Another silence stretched between us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. At one point, I swear he let out a snore, but I couldn’t be sure; honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him to fake one in an effort to piss me off. I was tapping out a tweet when Mark groaned, “How long has it been? It feels like a hundred years.”

I looked at the time on my phone and informed him, “It’s been 5 minutes.”

His stomach grumbled again and for a moment, I felt pity for him so I dug in my purse for a snack. My hand came out with a couple of clementines and I sighed. My mom thought it was hilarious, Clementine eating a clementine. I offered one to Mark.

“Ooh a clementine! Thanks, Grapefruit,” he said as he took it from my palm. I don’t know why I suddenly felt like the girl in a horse movie trying to tame a wild stallion.

I just rolled my eyes and set to peeling my own piece of fruit. Now, I’ll be the first to say that I have many weird tendencies and compulsions. It’s not that I believe anything truly bad will happen when I don’t do them, but I also don’t NOT believe something bad will happen either. One of these more interesting idiosyncrasies was my rule that any fruit that gets peeled had to be unpeeled in one piece, and I would honestly spend 20 minutes carefully prying up the edges of the rind of an orange if I needed to in order to make it happen. Fruit peel structural integrity. It’s a real thing.

Mark, however, peeled his in record time and for all I know, he may have just put the whole thing in his mouth and swallowed it like a snake; Since I was too busy trying to peel mine in a single piece, I didn’t notice if he even chewed.

I don’t know how long he spent watching me, but I do know that I was nearly done peeling the fruit before he spoke. There wasn’t any judgement in his eyes, but his brow was raised as he wondered aloud, “Do I want to know?”

I shrugged, “I mean, what if I just peel it all willy nilly and then a plane crashes and kills hundreds of people?”

He held out his hand, offering to take it from me and complete the task, asking rather bemusedly, “If *I* ‘peel it all willy nilly’ will a plane crash?”

“Obviously not, that’s ridiculous, but I’m almost done,” I answered with a shake of my head.

I don’t know why, but it was endearing that he didn’t tell me it was stupid, he tried to offer a solution that might circumvent the neurosis. I continued painstakingly, prying the peel from the fruit, but it was harder to do when he was watching. I felt a nervous flutter in my belly but I finally pulled the peel from the flesh of the clementine. Having him watch my every move, I felt like I was the fruit and the calm exterior I tried to present to the world was indeed the rind being peeled from my vulnerable interior. Task finally completed and the snack acquired, I pulled off a slice and popped it into my mouth. I offered another piece to Mark; his only response was to groan and subsequently, he flopped on the floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Watching her set a piece of citrus on her lips and draw it into her mouth….I don’t know what to say other than that the effort I put into trying not to get an erection was substantial. And painful. I didn’t know what it was about her, but she was funny and interesting and I loved the little wrinkle she got between her eyes when she was thinking about strangling me.

I needed to get out of this elevator for so many reasons but the top contenders that came to mind were my fear of popping a giant boner in front of this beautiful woman, followed closely by my desire to get the taste of my foot out of my mouth. I wasn’t the smoothest guy on the team but I wasn’t the biggest dork either; I had some game, and hot women didn’t normally make me tongue tied. Thirdly, I was hungry.

And she wasn’t like, Instagram-model hot. Which wasn’t saying much anyway since they all seemed generic and looked the same. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that made her so attractive- maybe because she didn’t fawn over me. Usually, I did fine with the ladies, and that was based purely on my looks, when they found out I was a professional athlete that made ok money, I couldn’t beat them off with a stick. But she knew what I was and she didn’t seem to care. That left me unsettled.

“How long has it been?” I prompted, feeling a bit like a child on a road trip, wanting to know how long until we got there. Wherever there was.

She looked at her phone before deadpanning, “10 minutes.”

I may have gotten a little more hysterical than needed when I exclaimed, “That’s it!? God, I’m going to kill Landy. How long should the fire department take to get here anyway?!”

She reached over and awkwardly patted my hip, as it was the closest part of me that she could reach since I was flopped on the floor in the fetal position. It was sweet and seemed genuine, but did not help the situation in my joggers. “There, there,” she murmured, “I think that’s how you comfort someone.”

I put my hands behind my head, restituting myself so I was laying on one of my biceps and my eyes met hers as I scowled and confirmed, “I feel very reassured, thanks.”

If I wasn’t mistaken, she chuckled a bit, and verified, “Your sarcasm is noted.”

“Pfft,” I sneered, “your sarcasm is *double* noted,” I said, mock offense thoroughly suffusing my growl. I turned into a bigger diva than Landy when I was hungry.

She just looked at me, fake pity scrawled obviously across her fine features as she teased, “Aww….Did that solid comeback make you feel better?”

Sitting up, I frowned and admitted, “Not particularly.”

The elevator smelled like citrus and I had a real fear that I wouldn’t ever be able to eat an orange again without getting horny. This could present real problems in the future and for a moment, I considered them thoughtfully.

In my head, I was picturing my grandmother, naked and reciting hockey stats, when Clementine spoke again, looking a little bit unsure of herself. “Tell you what,” she suggested, “if we get out of here in the next 30 minutes, I will fill your belly myself.” Her eyes went wide when she realized what she had actually said and how it sounded, and I swallowed awkwardly, trying to buy her some time as she recovered. It was one of the most goddamn adorable things I had ever seen. “I mean,” she clarified, “to get something to eat. Like food. At a restaurant. Or a grocery store. You know, a place with food.”

I felt a little victorious as she struggled, and I arched a brow but smiled, giving her a win as I said, “Wow, Clementine, that was spectacular to watch. I’ve tripped over my words a lot around you today, but you know what? I think that wins.”

The lift in the corners of her mouth was involuntary, and I was amused when she intentionally rearranged her face into a neutral position, “So,” she pressed, “you do know my name.”

I offered a nonchalant shrug in response, curious to see what egging her on would do, as I confirmed, “Whatever you say, Tangerine.”

Her backhand across my bicep took me by surprise and I fake-winced, shouting “Hey! Abuse! I’m calling HR.”

She shook her head slowly, crossing her arms across her chest before she said evenly, “It was self-defense. From your horrible flirting.” She didn’t miss a beat, and approximately 500 X-rated scenarios, all involving her in this elevator, immediately chased hockey stats from my brain. I was about as far gone as “Hockey? What’s that?” and I swallowed hard, trying to conjure up the image of The Golden Girls naked. When I did, they all had navy hair. Shit.

In the end, it took over an hour to get us free, most of which we spent in conversation yet somehow, I never really learned anything about her; I, however, divulged my hometown, family tree, details of what I’d done all summer, and my bucket list. It was curious-- she wasn’t the type of woman I would normally go for, more Hilda the Pin Up and less Vogue’s version of the girl next door, but she was smart and witty and beautiful in a totally different and amazing way. I’d be an idiot not to notice her, not to be attracted to her, not to be drawn to her.

Landy was waiting when the firefighters hauled us out of the elevator, looking like a cat who ate the canary. Honestly, he was worse than someone’s nana trying to set them up; he was meddlesome, offered unwanted advice, and surprisingly, was nimble with a pair of knitting needles.

Clementine was the first one out of the elevator and I followed. By the time I cleared the doors, she was already starting to walk away. In the soft light of the hallway, the alternate elevator reality in which we’d existed was gone and it almost felt like waking up from a dream, one that you didn’t want to end because you knew it was just getting to the good part. Frantically, almost as if I’d lose my chance before I had it, I shouted after her, “Hey Lemon, you owe me dinner.”

“Took over an hour, Barbs. Better luck next time,” she offered a genuine smile and it felt like having my head smashed against the boards. I think I hallucinated the wink she gave me. Maybe concussion protocol should have been implemented. Who knows. When my eyes refocused, she was gone and I zoned back in to Landy, who was in the middle of some unwanted advice.

“Barbs, you listening?”

I sighed, “Not even a little, Landy.”

He clapped me on the shoulder with a smile that could only mean trouble, and we walked to our cars. On the way home, I wondered what Clementine drove. I figured it had to be something practical and reliable. Then, I wondered what she had for dinner. What she watched in the evenings. Or if she was more of a book reader. Did she drink a glass of wine? Did Daze sleep on her bed?

Before I knew it, I was at home and I had been sitting in my garage long enough for the automatic light to go off.

[washymylifeaway]

Karasuno MasterList (WIP)

All the karasuno (kagehina, tsukkiyama, daisuga, etc + rare pairs) ship fics I’ve recommended up to 02/13/2022! To count how many there are, control f “//“ (without the “ ofc, but with a space at the end) and it’ll tell you :) (from my count, there should be around 22 but that doesn’t account for each individual fic in a series!)

DaiSuga

How to Manage by SuggestiveScribe (E) 39.3k // ok so yea yea we established, I’m basic, BUT can you blame me? This might’ve been one of the first DaiSuga’s I’ve read and I have no regrets. Literally, this fic series is one of my favorites, so OF COURSE I had to add it somewhere :D Honestly, I don’t even think you need to read the first one to understand what’s going on, but I would just cause it has some funny DaiSuga moments too ;) This is explicit for PWP, so proceed with caution HAHA.

Add New Contact by booksong (G) 8.5k // this one! It’s so cute and poor Daichi LOL. He really out here doing the most,,, Anyway, we love tech Suga, and a nice dash of snarky tsukki (LOL is he salt, yes yes he is). It’s very fluff and pine, so if you want to read Daichi having gay panic like 24/7, go right ahead LOL.

butterfly in the subway by bigspoonnoya (T) 62.8k // please, I’ve said other fics are a big mess BUT this one might just take the cake. It’s a mixture of ships with DaiSuga being the main one, so read it even if you don’t love DaiSuga (and then you’ll love them LOL). It’s like everything that could go wrong, goes wrong but the AsaNoya in this was SO cute!

you can only take what you can carry by skittidyne (T) 4.2k // Suga is strong. That’s it. That’s literally the whole fic LMAO. But no seriously, I wish I could’ve been there in person to ogle at the muscles cause like think about it. ANyway, Yachi is best. (if this made no sense, go read the fic LOL)

You’d fit my lonely arms so perfectly by boxofwonder (G) 25.1k // Wrong number, “Oh. You’re. Not Asahi.” Calmed down enough that he can speak again, Daichi takes a deep breath, his smile settling on his face easily and wide. “Not as far as I know, no.”Suga accidentally calls a stranger instead of his best friend, tells him all about his burned batch of cookies before realising, and that particular mistake might turn out the best one he ever made.

KageHina

***two slow dancers by quietkids (T) 7.7k // this might’ve been, dare I say, my favorite fic on the list,,, I just really loved Kageyama’s POV (AND CHARACTERIZATION!!!!) so much and I also love non linear plots and it was just written so well and it made me so sad and I love angst and yeah!!11!!1!!1!! I literally fell in love with this fic and again it was just SO freaking good!!! And also I loved the other Kageyama’s in this so much.

I like the way your clothes smell by Mysecretfanmoments (NR) 75.2k // I think this is one of the only fics I’ve read for this ship… LOL oops idk something about reading relationships between first year’s in high school irks me…. just first year’s in Haikyuu dating at any time…. Anyways I don’t really remember reading this one (again my memory is crap LOL) but it had been recommended by people before so knock yourselves out LOL. Also this one doesn’t have a rating, but it’s got some explicit-ish stuff in it, so read tags and warnings for sure!

Grit Your Teeth, Pull Your Hair, Paint The Walls Black And Scream ‘Fuck The World’. by LahraTeigh (T) 1k // this is actually one fic in a three part series. Each are pretty short, but they are continuations/pov changes of the first one. This has references to self harm, so please proceed with caution.

stan twitter, meet hinata shoyou by ichweissnichtauch (T) 13k // Twitter, meiji milk pls sponsor me @kageyamatobio see you on the court @ninjashoyou 6.5k Retweets 31.6k Likes 2.0k Comments here comes the sun @ninjashoyou lets do it baby i know the law 3.6k Retweets 27.3k Likes 1.8k Comments or, hinata shoyou’s v-league debut, as seen on twitter (ft. snapshots of v-twt).

teething on a shotgun by sporadic_obsession (E) 2.5k // I liked the introduction of this one. It got me engaged pretty quickly, and the ending was very in character LOL. There’s mention of shooting, injury, and death but it IS an assassin fic so that’s to be expected LOL.

Hiraeth by primela (NR) 6.4k // the switching POV’s in this one made me put it LOL. I liked seeing both POV’s during the scenes (and what a shame for Hinata not being able to focus on abs LOL) and I think it really added character to the fic! Again, there’s shooting, blood, and death but what’s new heh.

TSUKKIYAMA

by any other name by parenthetic (renaissance) (T) 4.8k // as much as I love tsukkiyama I don’t read a lot of their fics for some reason (LOL OOPS) but this one hit all the right spots. The way yams is done, with his amazing facial reading abilities, and the way tsukki is so oblivious was so GOOD!

Please, don’t let go by LovelyAkuma (G) 2.4k // this DOES have a happy ending and nothing too graphic happens but read the tags cause there still IS an attempt. Tsukishima is best boy in this, but poor Yamaguchi bless his heart :(

Mystery Guy by Pepper_Moon (T) 11.1k // Twitter + YouTube/Streamer, Popular YouTuber YamaGucci is livestreaming one day, when a voice off-camera speaks and makes him flustered. Let’s just say what comes next is pure chaos.

shikaku (assassin) by GoandSeek (E) 10.2k // this one was my favorite of all of these :) i really loved the interactions between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi from the beginning, and the little additions of Kuroo slander was the cherry on top LOL. It’s got some smut/kinky play (LOL) in it (along with the shooting, death, and blood), so just a little FYI!

Close Enemies by MyTrashyWriting (T) 2.8k // this fic leans more towards the side of fast burn (idk if that’s the right term LOL) but the build-up is still pretty good. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting the plot (though I probably should’ve seen it coming but for some reason I didn’t hehe) so I enjoyed the resolution LOL. This one is the least graphic, only a little bit of shooting, blood, and death (but also an intense make out sesh) heh, but also, some KuroDai if you squint ;)

MULTI/Rare pairs

Crumbling Foundations by Captain_Hughes_ZU, ToshiChan (T) 106.3k // I was debating whether or not to put this fic cause it actually doesn’t even have the angst tag (which I personally think it should). Honestly, it’s more a trauma fic than an angst fic idk I just wanted to put it somewhere because it’s written super well and although it was technically a ‘happy ending’ the interviews after prove else. Despite only being rated T, it’s got some intense TW so (PLEASE READ THE TAGS, THERE ARE SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!)

(EnnoFuta) 101 Uses for Cornstarch (Culinary or Otherwise) by parenthetic (renaissance) (T) 2.6k // HI THIS IS SO FUNNY AND CUTE. Also the pick up lines were killing me, I was laughing so hard but yeah. I was not expecting the way they ended up meeting but also I love Kinoshita and Narita HAHA.

(TsukkiHina) He’s Collecting Bugs on His Body; by tmntransformer (T) 15.8k // tbh if you squint, there’s a whole bunch of rare pairs in this LOL. But the main thing from this fic is DENIAL. LOL. Also bugs LOL.

(OiYama) Beans Are Spilled by rubysilk98 (G) 24.7k // bro am I trying to tear TsukkiYama apart? No LOL, but it feels like it. It’s the getting together fic of Oikawa and Yamaguchi and the title is very fitting. Also consent is important >:(

(OiSuga) How (Not) To Share A Bathroom by renaissance (T) 9.8k // passive aggressive sticky notes,,,, but it’s really cute and made me go akjfdjksa at the end. Also, their friends are a holes to them LOL. I mean give them some pity right?

(BokuAkaKuroTsukki) Turning Heads by ahhelga for Smokey310 (T) 2.8k // uh the only thing I have to say is the secondhand embarrassment was uh intense LMFAO,,,,, no like I had to stop like three times cause I started dying a little on the inside,,,,,

[queerbitchdiaz-archived]

OK so I've started watching 911 cus youre post have peeked my interest. I just wanna know beforehand is this Eddie and bucky thing actually possible or fans wanting it. How hurt am I gonna be that nothings happening 😂

Ah, that makes me so happy, it's such a fantastic show, I hope you're liking it! 💕

(I just did a really long post as a response to this and I accidentally deleted it, now I have to do it again. Dear god, please send soup. And strength.)

ANYWAY.

Regarding Buck and Eddie going canon, there are a lot of different ways to look at this and different ways to see it, but personally? Where I am at, at this point, I just do not see how the story could be heading in any other possible direction. Most days I am 100% sure it's happening, sometimes 99, but it never really goes below that.

(I do want to make sure that you and anyone else new in the fandom does understand, however, that this is not something to be expected soon. Dealing with their trauma as individuals is going to take a lot of time, and just because it's not happening within the next two episodes doesn't mean it's not happening. Give it time, my loves. These writers are absolutely fantastic.)

Now. I understand the need to be hesitant. I do, believe me. Especially as a part of the community, you know? We're used to being let down, disappointed and thrown the scraps (This post by @yramesoruniverse touches on why we feel this way despite having so many signs that point to this storyline and it is something I highly recommend reading, it's fantastic.) I also want to point out that the couples that people tend to compare Buck and Eddie to (aka couples that never went canon) are couples that I don't personally see the relevance in comparing them to. Comparing Buddie to other ships that never went canon just doesn't make sense, because none of those shows were shows like 9-1-1. 9-1-1 focuses on a lot difficult topics. Comparing 9-1-1 to Supernatural, or Suits just doesn't make sense to me. It's irrelevant.

Now. I could sit here for hours pointing out things that may be pointing to them going canon, but at the end of the day, there is way too much, and there are people who have done it already, and done it far better than I ever could (I will be tagging some of my favourite blogs at the end of this, if you want to go and ask them some things, I'm sure they would be more than happy to answer you! Speaking of, though, this post is also absolutely phenomenal, and very interesting to consider.)

There are two more things I'd mention though, the first one being this livestream with Ronen and Oliver around the time of the crossover, where Ronen refers to TK thinking Buck is hitting on him as 'opening a door'.

And the second thing is the fact that Eddie's actor, Ryan Guzman is someone who doesn't really know the art of um... keeping his mouth shut. And he doesn’t always have good opinions, so I also have a feeling that if there was no way that Buck and Eddie is happening, he would have told us to fuck off a long time ago, and he never really has. So there's also that.

In conclusion, before I point you to some other wonderful people, I also would like to say that - at the end of the way, this is fandom, it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a distraction. So while I absolutely understand people being hesitant and not wanting to be disappointed - my main thing is also the fact that... I'm going to be a lot happier leaning into this, and expecting it, and following along, even if it doesn't happen (which I highly, highly doubt, but if the show does end without Buck and Eddie together, I'll just take the L and move on. But I'll still have the wonderful memories of freaking out with everyone else and anticipating this revolutionary story.) It's a lot more fun than just walking around with a big cloud over my head, being bitter, and rolling my eyes at everyone who dare have a glimmer of hope about it all, you know?

As promised - here are some other wonderful blogs I recommend you take a look at: @yramesoruniverse @himbodiaz @rarakiplin @wildflowerbuck @hattalove @diazchristopher @capseycartwright @roseapothecary @pearwson

There are so many wonderful people in this fandom who write fantastic posts about all of this, so that's absolutely not all of them, but it's a handful to get you started! 💕

[kazuhasmaid]

self-indulgent birthday headcanons

note: EGSGSJ ITS MY BIRTHDAY AND THIS IS JUST A LIST OF WHAT I WANNA DO WITH MY FAVS ON MY DAY. 😭 and yes- i love a lot of characters.

characters: klee, amber, hu tao, beidou, kaeya, childe, scaramouche, thoma, ayato, aether, diluc, venti, zhongli, kazuha ♡

klee: priority?? fishbombing!! listen. if there's one thing i can do in the genshin impact universe? it's to play and babysit klee and making sure she has fun without anyone getting hurt or in trouble! for extra measures she can go fishbombing into one of my teapots entirely made just for her! bits of the golden apple archipelago furniture can be found there too, it saves klee the earful from jean and at the same time making sure she had fun, precious klee. i swear i will get klee on her next re-run!

amber: NOW. she was my f2p main! level 5 amber in mobile was... something. idk how i did it but i play on pc now! i have friendship 10 with her and honestly one things i wanna do is spend the day tagging along as she does her errands helping people, and she's never really scared to approach anyone- it doesn't matter to her. she played a big role too! MAN WHO TF WOULD'VE INTRODUCED US TO KAEYA IF NOT FOR HER HELLO??? OH- AND, by the end of the day we're gonna get sticky honey roast. definitely.

hu tao: main. also kinnie. i wanna go paint my nails with her, her taste is very simple, nail wise- since she's a funeral parlor, it probably must be kept simple, i also wanna go indulge her into my prank ideas cause for the love of me- not a day goes by without me playing tricks on people, its gonna be the end of xiangling and chongyun once we collaborate to prank people. might feel silly and get in trouble with the liyue qixing idk HELP LMFOA. i have a background of going to the office for pranking someone bye. I ALSO WANNA TRY OUT HER HAT ITS JUST SO CUTE, MAYBE we can end the midnight of my birthday patrolling around the forests and boo tao tagging along :>

beidou: the main i took seriously. i wanna travel to different places with the crux fleet and experience it first hand- how the woman who fought a leviathan without a vision leads the group of people who she holds equal and are loyal to her. lol pls i cried in the inazuma quest when she talked about having our back. i love her sm. she's a role model for me :') criessssss

kaeya: MY BESTFRIEND, THE BEST MAN AT THE WEDDING FOR SURE. GRRRR. we're gonna go participate in a festival in tevyat, doesnt matter where but anywhere. if it's in liyue during moonchase festival? then expect us to win the fish claymore for diluc as a tease- PLS LMFAOOA we're gonna end up getting smacked by the claymore by the said bartender as well. we definitely did not think it through.

childe: hm. its just been recent that i started getting interested in him but i think it'd be nice to go visit snezhnaya and play in the snow with him?? just the sound of childe showing the ways how to have fun in snezhnaya sounds so nice. who knows maybe we can catch a bigger fish and whip up some fish skewers for his family! PLS?$-#(# NO. i just wanna meet his family bye, and maybe try on a fatui outfit... YK THE FATUI AGENTS HAVE GOOD UNIFORMS... THEY LOOK GOOD. i like the fatui agent's coat bye. would this man let me go on a shopping spree? if so, i wanna dress him up for the day. i think he's cute so uh-

scaramouche: oh. we're not hanging out. more like its an order from TSARITSA for him to be with me for my birthday. jk jk. LMFAO I KNOW FOR A FACT HE WOULD HATE ME BUT THAT ASIDE- we're gonna go do some theatre mechanicus. ITS GONNA BE FUN WITH HIM OK? i see him as the chill yet but competitive person "GO ACTIVATE IT!" - so like the lawachurls would go past the elemental posts and he'd be grasping to stop them and I'd accidentally push the console and make him drop with the lawachurls from the bridge :( LMFOAOA HAGSHAHA- he's done after that round. he's just gonna settle for food after hehe

thoma: MY MALEWIFE. breakfast in bed so true. I.. WANNA DO SHOPPING WITH THOMA. cause??? with him growing up around ayaka, he'd know the popular things people come around with and he HAS the style. i also wanna do those things where we'd shop for each other and try on what we got for each other- yk ofc with a collar for taroumaru to match me and thoma??? maybe get the kamera and frame it?? adjahjdka...thoma come home please?

ayato: LISTEN. THE WOMEN WHO WORKS FOR MIHOYO LOVE HIM. so he's definitely getting the special treatment. i wanna spend the day roaming the day around what inazuma has to offer?? maybe learn some fighting techniques and stuff?? not to see him fight or anything but... that's hot bye. NO BUT HE'S PROBABLY LIKE XINGQUI? LIKE HE'S PUT UP A FORMAL FRONT WITH OTHERS BUT BECOMES A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON WITH THE ONES HE'S CLOSE WITH- but never crossing lines. he's a gentleman. so true. FLOWERPICKING WITH AYATO!!!!!! and making flower bouquets and crowns to the people of inazuma, the elderly, the children the employees, even ayato himself. CUTE.

aether: I LOVE HIM. precious. this man works so hard looking for his sister cause he knows he's gonna get some whooping whn he comes home without his sibling so he might as well come back with her? ANYWAYS. we're gonna go take a day off and go to the spa together cause celestia knows just how much aether needs this, BRO LISTEN AETHER IS CUTE OKAY? ID DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM SMILE FR- we're gonna go on any restaurant we see to try out any dishes we've never tried yet and accidentally spoiling paimon with many food. paimon getting scolded by aether after.

venti: kinnie. FIRST OF ALL- we're gonna go apple picking and do a competition who does the best apple slices or stuff we can turn carves of our apples into. he definitely wins this one. for sure. SECOND ACTIVITY? GLIDING. i love the wind. idk why but the breeze makes me feel so calm and makes me feel free and its kinda a reminder to me saying that the wind provides a breather for everyone is just so... ANYWAYS GLIDING AROUND MONDSTAT OR EVEN DVALIN PULLING A TOOTHLESS AND ALMOST DROPPING US INTO THE OCEAN BYE. we'd end the day to the tavern getting drinks we both like.

zhongli: kin </3 WHEW. we're gonna go get some glazed lillies, and buy books that are the talk of liyue to see what's the excitement ab-

ok so as im writing this, lover's oath just played so lemme just: me and zhongli getting our favorite stones carved into matching bracelets, his cor lapis and mine being crimson agate. with our glazed lillies and novels we get about morax and his past lover, we travel to the land that holds the most significant to them both and just take in everything as he tells the story as if the scene was unfolding infront of our eyes after that we go on a field of glazed lillies and drink osmanthus wine that took ages to find the recipe of and zhongli putting all his knowledge into brewing it- WAIT A MINUTE. IM GONNA WRITE ABOUT THIS. FOR SURE. WTF. SOBS.

♡ °.•~

diluc: MY FIANCE. CUPS MY HANDS AROUND HIS FACE AND KISS HIM. mwah. i wanna go on a date with him where we design weapons for each other and wield them together. i think that's cute. SHIIII I MIGHT EVEN GET MY SKETCHBOOK OUT RN TO SKETCH IT- but during the day; he has his very gorgeous red hair all tied up in a high ponytail, with no COAT bc its surely hot in here in mondstat. but maybe its just me tho. listen he's my comfort character and i wanna cuddle with this man. :(

kazuha: my beloved. i am married to him. so with kazuha, i wanna gonna go on a date and spend the day to fold cranes small enough to make a thousand and lanterns we can release onto a lake while eating our dinner, set it as a picnic, our hands together as we spend the night stargazing dedicating stars to each other laying down on our blankets, making promises and the night filled with laughter and deep conversations of how we came to be and just dwell in the peaceful starry night sky. oh my goodness. kazuha kinnies please date me.

©kazuhasmaid please do not copy, paste or repost.

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 31! For context, see my post “A Project”     under this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA   stories, they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa

 Trust in Me

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/23/2016                                     mc mf fd

This is such a good use of a hypnosis trope, and I love how smoothly she does it. And I love how she uses her size, strength, and grappling skill to work with her use of tropes and hypnotic instincts. That all said, a lot of the sensory descriptions - especially at the end of the story - just ... *no*. They sound miserable and my brain goes "DO NOT WANT" so firmly it knocks me out of the story. 8/10 spirals 

 Uniform (Jukebox)

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/30/2016                                     mc mf md

I don't understand latex. I just don't. So there's layers here I don't get or find hot. That out of the way, the way she just loses herself into the act of getting into uniform, into the role she takes while at work, is something I *do* enjoy quite a lot. The change from a dynamic gal who does parkour moves to get to work and wishes she'd had a Supergirl t-shirt on into a mindless pet? That is *hot,* no question. 9/10 spirals. 

 Breathe It In

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/6/2016                                       mc ff

*laughs* the last couple of lines make this story wonderful. This is the sort of interplay I love so much: a little bratting, a lot of loss of control, and some deliciously hot brainwashing thrown in. I do wish we had more of a sense of the exact nature of the brainwashing - the problem with amnesia suggestions and third person limited narration is that we just don't get all the fun, hot details - but still. It's just good and lovely and just the sort of playful dynamic I enjoy, both in fiction and real life. And I'd never be partial to the scent of a flower being helplessly hypnotic, no, not at all. (By which I mean yes, yes I am, for Reasons(tm) ) 10/10 spirals. 

 Pussy Control

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/13/2016                                     mc mf md

Wait, since when is a biochem lab only 2 hours long? Mine were closer to 3 hours! Electrophoresis prep and testing takes a certain amount of time, after all! As do all the other sorts of blots and chromatography columns and other things that you work with in biochem! And also, of all the classes you could skip, a lab is BY FAR the worst one. Daniel's at *best* a sloppy hypnotist, if not predatory, to not have put safeties in to make sure Mallory didn't let her schoolwork slip in ways that can't be recovered from. (Look, my degree's in biochem, this is *personal* for me now :P) The concept's hot enough - mostly, anyway - but the lack of care for a degree Mallory's spending significant money on just ... irritates me in a way I can't shake. 6/10 spirals 

 Keeper of the Flame

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/20/2016                                     mc mf fd

This is a miss for me. It's mostly magic, in a way that doesn't work for me, and hypnotizing someone just to have a kid is ... it squicks me out. I can't rate this one fairly. 

 Fix You

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/27/2016                                     mc mf md

Another therapist betraying a client story, another one I can't effectively rate. But if you like that trope, give it a look! 

 My Mind Is Gone

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/3/2016                                       mc ff

This is cute and sweet and rather not ethical but like, in a tender way? In a "I care about this person a lot but also I'm horribly tempted by this so I'm going to do it in the gentlest way I know how" kind of way that I'm tentatively ok with in fiction. Especially when it's so *accidental* at first. The gals are sweet and cute and I hope that this starts a lovely relationship between the two of them 'cause I'm a romantic at heart, darn it. 8/10 spirals. 

 Afterglow

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/10/2016                                     mc ff

Oh, this is so, so good. Not that oxytocin works like that, but still. The implications of the turning the tables on someone who was behaving a bit unethically are ... not my favourite part? but they do add to the context and the heat of it. And hey, both of the ladies seem happy enough together! 8/10 spirals 

 Radio Daze

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/24/2016                                     mc mf ff

Well, if you're going to get brainwashed into missing a music festival, Altamont was probably the one to miss. But brainwashing people via a radio station that can be heard on the highway? that's just *begging* for trouble. C'mon, have a bit in there that encourages people driving by to change the station or something, so you don't have a pattern of people causing an accident and get people wondering what in the radio broadcast might have done it! Besides that, though, this story just doesn't quite hit for me. It  doesn't feel like there's a real change so much as a nudging of what's already there, and even that doesn't feel like something we see clearly. 6/10 spirals. 

 When I Come Around

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/24/2016                                     mc mf md cb

*Oh,* now THAT'S a premise. Not the actual story itself - that's all well and good, superheros and magitech and shenanigans, I like it plenty fine - but the note it ends on? I want the story that follows this one. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll come up in the next 220-some stories I have yet to review! That would be a lovely blend of desire and consent and resistence and all of it. This story's fine, another Liberty League story, and I like it plenty well, but I don't want it to just *end* here. It's so very magitech, but the idea of how she tries to resist, and what happens to her when she tries? oh, that's *fun* 9/10 spirals

[thefanficmonster]

What's It To You?

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: To some people, relationship labels aren’t important. To some they aren’t important only in theory. Well, Y/N finds out she falls in the later category, leading to a falling out with her boyfriend Corpse.

Requested by Anon. You’ll know who you are when you read the fic 😉 Thank you for the ‘angsty argument’ request. I hope I captured what you had in mind and I hope you enjoy the read. Love, Vy 🥰

The time is nearing 7PM and Corpse has barely eaten anything. I always keep track of his meals and time spent in front of a computer screen, making sure he doesn’t spend too much time exhausting his eyes or starving himself. He never notices he’s hungry until he takes a bite of something and his appetite grows in  matter of seconds. The real battle is to get him to take that first bite.

I get up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. I open the fridge, scanning its contents for any ideas that might pop into my head for dinner. When nothing comes to mind, I resort to my last option - asking him. There’s only a slight chance he’ll be of any help. He’ll most likely say he’s not hungry or that he’ll make himself something late. He never does. I’ve gotten used to him being a man-child when it comes to eating. In the eleven months that we’ve been dating, I’ve force fed him more times than he has eaten on his own terms.

I go upstairs, stopping outside the door to his recording room to see if he’s talking to someone so I don’t walk in and interrupt. When no noises come from the inside I knock. 

“Come in.“ 

Upon opening the door, I’m met with Corpse nonchalantly sitting in his desk chair, leaning as back as he can without tipping over. Arms folded behind his head, legs stretched out in front of him. The whole nine yards, suggesting that he not streaming.

“Hey.“ He greets me as he turns his chair a bit in an attempt to face me

“Hey, what’d you like for dinner?“ He opens his mouth to reply the millisecond after I have spoken my question. I already know what that reply will be so I hurry to prevent it, “And no, ‘later’ and ‘I’m not hungry’ aren’t on the menu.“

He sighs, shaking his head as though he’s disappointed that I caught onto his game. The smile that slowly makes its way to his lips, however, suggests that he appreciates my concern. “Grilled cheese sandwiches? I mean, if you feel like it.”

I smile, relieved that the usual convincing portion of our interaction on this specific matter has been avoided. “Ok. Be down in fifteen then.” I give him a nod before heading back out into the hallway.

Before I am able to close the door, I hear someone else’s voice come from behind me. “Hey Corpse, was that on your end?”

Oh shit, he wasn’t muted

“Yeah man, sorry. Accidentally unmuted myself.“ Corpse sounds unbothered by this, but I am a little uneasy now.

Corpse and I have agreed to keep our relationship by a ‘won’t ask, won’t tell’ rule - if someone asks him if he’s in a relationship, he won’t lie and say no, but we haven’t gone public nor do we plan on doing so without someone asking us about it head-on. Well, not us. Him. His friends don’t know me and neither do his fans. I’m not in the same industry. I don’t stream nor film YouTube videos. The most I do for that platform is help Corpse with some editing when he needs to have a rest. So, if anyone were to reveal our relationship, it’d be him.

“Oooh, who was that?“ A girl’s voice asks teasingly. “Corpse, what are you not telling us?“

By this point, I’m out in the hall but I left my ears in the room. I know I’m not in the right here - eavesdropping is most definitely not nice, but I can’t help myself.

I hear him chuckle, “Nah, it’s just my friend Y/N.”

My heart drops so suddenly for a reason beyond my understanding. I feel like a kid feels when it’s told Santa isn’t real - I can’t believe what I heard. 

I hurry to get back downstairs as soon as possible and also as quietly as I can. It’s tough, running with a pit in your stomach and a knot of I’m pretty sure is tears in your throat. When I’m finally in the kitchen, the aforementioned tears are blurring my vision. I try to blink them away but accidentally send one of them trickling down my cheek.

I’m aware this might be an overreaction and if I stopped to think I could probably find ways to justify what Corpse said. But I’m genuinely hurt, and I hate that I am.

I’ve never cared about what others know about me or think of me. Same goes for my relationships. I don’t put labels on things nor on my connection to people. I am surprised and disturbed by how much the label ‘friends’ bothers me. We’ve been dating for almost a year now, you’d think calling me his girlfriend would be second nature. Guess not.

I swallow the hurt and surprise, deciding to keep myself busy with the preparations for the dinner I was planning to make. However, keeping my hands full and giving my eyes a place to look doesn’t stop my thoughts from eating away at me. 

                                                             * * *

Twenty minutes later the sound of a door opening echoes from upstairs, followed by the sound of footsteps going through the hallway and then down the stairs. 

“It smells so good in here.“ He comments, his eyebrows raising when he takes in the freshly made sandwiches on the kitchen island. “You’re the best, Y/N.“

“Hmm, aren’t you lucky you have a friend who knows their way around the kitchen, huh?“ I reply sharply, not even sparing him a glance.

In the twenty minutes I was left alone with my wilding thoughts I declared that I wouldn’t beat around bush when he comes downstairs. That I would address the issue and tell him exactly how I feel about it. What I didn’t plan was being so harsh. I actually barely contain a wince when I realize how sharp of an edge my words had.

I feel ten times more guilty when I see the regret that flashes on his face, “You heard that.” He grips the edges of the table, leaning down and letting out a sigh, “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

The anger in me evaporates, leaving room for the hurt to keep spreading and take over me. I was never really angry with him, I’m just upset by the fact that his immediate reaction wasn’t to refer to me as his girlfriend. 

“Why would you panic? What’s it to you if they know?“ My voice is barely above a whisper now, the tears I’m fighting back are clogging my throat, not allowing me to sound as clearly as I’d like.

“What’s it to you? I thought you didn’t care.“ He argues back, his gaze travelling from the tabletop to my eyes. I see the guilt in all his features and his body language.

“I thought so too.“ I shake my head, “But hearing you call me a ‘friend’...’just a friend’ stings. I don’t even know why, but it does. It feels almost like you are embarrassed of me. If that’s the case you can just tell me, you know?“

In a blink of an eye he’s crouched down in front of me, one hand holding both of mine while the other cups my cheek. “It’s not. It has never been and it will never be the case. You are one amazing person, Y/N. You deserve the world, not to be stuck with me. I’m just...” He trails off, his eyes not able to focus on mine any longer, “I’m scared of how people knowing about us will affect our relationship.”

My blood starts boiling again. I know I need to get away from him before I reach the point of saying something that’ll hurt him, so I untangle my hands from his grasp, pulling away from him. “Weak excuse, Corpse. You know it will change nothing except make me feel more included in your life. I will no longer feel like I’m a house rat no one knows about.” I stand up, unable to look at him, and start heading for the staircase. 

“Y/N, please! ”I stop dead in my tracks when he calls out my name, his footsteps following behind me. “Don’t be...-”

I turn around, cutting him off in the process, “I need to be alone right now.” I tilt my head in the direction of the dining table, “Sit down and eat dinner. We’ll talk...later.”

                                                             * * *

Now that it’s been almost twelve hours with no contact between us I realize that my reaction was justified only to a certain extent. I understand his concerns and I could’ve expressed mine a little more calmly and in a lot less accusatory manner. But what happened happened and all I can do now is go over to him and apologize, establish a proper communication to resolve the issue that I so stupidly blew out of proportion.

My phone died sometime during the night and has been sitting on the charger but still turned off for a while. I go over to it and press-hold the start button. While it’s powering up I start changing my from my pajamas into my regular clothes, noticing a small stain on my shirt in the process. As I’m examining the stain, my phone starts going crazy with notifications, causing me to jump and drop my shirt.

“Fucking hell.” I mumble, disconnecting my phone from the charger and looking at the huge list of notifications on my lock screen. They are all alerts of new followers, likes and tags, non from people I know. Non except one.

@ corpse_husband tagged you in a post 

Wait what?

I tap the notification which leads me to a picture Corpse posted two hours ago. It’s a picture of me taken in the living room without my knowledge. I’m an oversized sweater and yoga pants, my hair in a messy braid and my attention caught by the book in my hands. My glasses have slipped a bit down my nose, suggesting that I’m too concentrated on the contents of the pages in front of me that I haven’t noticed.

We started off as friends but it didn’t take long for her to become my best friend. And then she stole my heart. I know you’ll read this eventually, Y/N. So...hi. Love you. 

PS - the sandwiches were bomb 🖤

I’m more than caught off guard. Like a surprise hug from behind, warmth spreading all throughout my body. 

Without a second of hesitation I put my phone down and run to the bedroom door. However, I don’t make it very far considering I nearly run straight into Corpse’s chest as I exit the room. He catches me before I knock him straight to the ground, thankfully.

“Aren’t you a rocket this morning. Where are you headed?“ He chuckles, holding onto my upper arms.

One look at his smile, a single word out of his mouth and I’m melting. I walk straight into him, wrapping my arms around his torso, hiding my face in his chest. He comfortably rests his chin on the top of my head, not asking any further questions until I finally answer.

“Right here. I was heading for you.“ I whisper before I pull away enough to be able to look him in the eyes. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I was being childish and overdramatic and I’m sorry about all I said. I was really upset.“

“It’s ok, baby. I’m sorry for making you upset in the first place. I understand now how much it means to you.“ He caresses my cheekbone with the back of his hand. “I...um...tried to make things right by...“

I push up on my toes, pressing my lips against his, putting an end to his timid stuttering. “I saw it.” I mumble in the kiss.

“Did you like it?“ 

“I loved it.“

“Did you read the comments?“

My heart skips a beat when I hear that dreaded term. Just the thought of reading through the comments terrifies me. I tell myself that some strangers’ words aren’t gonna have an impact on me, but I know they will. Especially since these ‘strangers’ mean so much to Corpse.

I shake my head. He pulls away, taking my hand and leading me towards the living room. “You have to. You’re gonna love them.”

I reluctantly follow him, plopping down on the couch next to him as he pulls out his phone and scrolls through the comment section of the picture he posted. He was right. All these people have said such things about me and about our relationship. Some verified names are also there, sharing their support much like the fans. 

“See, this is why I was nervous. I’ll have to do duels for your attention now.“ He glances at me, leaning in and kissing my temple as he sometimes does so impulsively.

“You don’t do duels when you are already sitting at the throne. Right next to me.“ I once again capture his lips with mine, tempted to never pull away, but also tempted to keep reading the comments.

Damn, he might be right about the duels.

He takes his phone from me setting it aside as he slowly lifts me and settles me in his lap, never letting our lips detach.

Nevermind. Fuck the duels

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze

[moririki]

⤷ WHEN THUNDER MEETS RAIN

AGATSUMA ZENITSU X READER -> 0.9K the boy best known for being a coward finally summons the courage to do what he's wanted to do for a while now

REQUEST -> ✰ CONTAINS -> suggestive (?) content, fluff????, gn reader, reader is a tsuguko to the water hashira, i used the word among, anime personality of zenitsu a little sorry :(, man fuckit just ooc zenitsu i think cos i wrote him as a fucking FUCKBOY pfjdjdjxjjsk, not my best work here i am sorry MORI'S THOUGHTS -> ngl i just did one of those wheel spins to choose the hashira lmao so idk if i accidentally clash with what goes down in the manga 😀🧍🏻‍♀️also @saintreneschapel (idk why it won't let me tag you) thank you so much for being so patient forgive me for how long this took shawty🙏

-> ok so the randomly assigned hashira that you are a tsuguko for is none other that mr giyuu!!

-> he's,,,, strict? he pushes you hard, but that is how you improve after all

-> and hell, you're grateful

-> under his teaching, you've gained skills and knowledge beyond your years, and you wield them with confidence every time you grip your sword

-> finally, it's time to gain some experience as well

-> giyuu and you had been called forth alongside shinobu to act as backup for a troup of demon slayers who had been sent to hunt down a demon family

-> with the presence of a lower six demon among them, it was the most sensible choice to bring in backup

-> you knew that your role was predominantly that of rescuing any survivors, and to avoid combat as much as possible

-> and you did exactly that, covering as much ground of the thick forest as you could

-> you came across a clearing, finding the unconscious body of a boy clad in brightly coloured uniform

-> his pulse was weak, and you were quick to call over some medics to put him on a stretcher and get him to safety

-> and yeah

-> you were a little disappointed that your first real mission had little to do with fighting, but that's life

-> so, like the rest of the new demon slayer corps recruits, you ended up at the butterfly mansion

-> you were far from injured, though

-> in fact, you were here with the strict instructions of assisting in nursing the three recruits back to health

-> method of choice: helping them regain their sense of combat through sparring

-> while the boy known as tanjiro was quick to return to training, the other two took some further convincing

-> you weren't sure what to think of them

-> you had only met one of them previously when selecting the ore for your sword, and he went by the name of zenitsu

-> your first impression of him was not particularly positive, since he was on the verge of tears and wishing to go home the entire time

-> his feelings were understandable, considering that he didn't even want to be a demon slayer in the first place

-> however, you discovered another aspect of his personality when partnered with him for sparring that had you wrinkling your brow in disgust

-> you see, zenitsu had this slight tendency to break the ice with any person he meets by asking them to marry him

-> ask would be too kind of a word, not when the boy all but dropped to his feet and begged you

-> no matter your urgent shushes, he would only plead harder

-> it ended up with you delivering a swift kick to his chest, sending him flying back a metre or so

-> "why don't you defeat me first, then we'll talk?"

-> and would you look at that, you've got a sparring partner for life

-> as far as recovery went, zenitsu was doing well

-> you were a bit ashamed to only see him as a wimp and a crybaby at the beginning, because once he really settled into fighting, he was good

-> more often than not, you’d struggle to fend off his attacks

-> but that just meant he was healing, right?

-> maybe it was the raw determination on his face to sweep your legs out from under you that had you feeling flustered at times

-> or the way that he was actually respectful once he had calmed down

-> either way, you had far from forgotten what just seemed like throwaway words that day

-> and honestly? going a little easy on zenitsu was looking more and more appealing

-> though you doubted that you would need to to do that with the speed that zenitsu was regaining his skills

-> and so comes the fated day

-> maybe he woke up feeling extra powerful, because zenitsu was not letting up any time soon

-> your swords were practically locked together the entire time

-> you were quickly realising that your back was about to hit the wall, and zenitsu's attacks were still relentless

-> in fact, it was when you found your sword being ripped from your grasp by a clever disarm that you realised just how much zenitsu had recovered

-> and now you really were cornered

-> even though it was just blunt wood, the sword pressed to your chest was a clear indication of who had the upper hand right now

-> "so how about it, y/n?"

-> zenitsu had a small smile on his face, a blush adorning his cheeks as he recalled what you had said so many days ago

-> you flushed too, your head turning to the side

-> "baby steps, zen"

-> the boy perked up at that, a smile spreading across his face as he processed your words

-> his sword returned to its sheath, and he took a step forward to really cage you against the wall and his arms

-> "then how's this for a first step?"

-> his hand was resting against your face, and he tilted your chin to capture your lips in a kiss

-> he must have woken up on the right side of the bed today, and you weren't complaining

-> his lips were soft, much softer than you expected, and you felt your eyes slide shut as you returned the kiss

-> your fingers wrapped around his wrist, keeping him close to you as he deepened the kiss

-> when the two of you finally broke apart, slightly out of breath, you watched zenitsu smile all over again as he took in your awestruck expression

-> "i'd say that's a good way to begin"

take a look at the menu - ,, 👘 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[intynidad]

Hi hi!! Could I request the dorm leaders (if that’s too many, your favorites!) with a child MC? (Parental or older sibling sorta relationship) (also by child I mean 8-10 years old) Have a wonderful day, drink some water and eat protein! 💕

@moomoo-mochi OMG THANK YOU??

I love this so much I’m just a sucker for this kind of prompt!!

Also, this will be based on how I acted as a toddler (spoiler I was a stupid kid)

a health potion with risu giggles for a fellow merchant!

(also sorry I didn't know what to write for iidia or vil and I didn't want to write something that I wasn't satisfied 

The beginning 

-you careless puppy, How many times I told the two of you to be careful!- professor crewel was scolding you and your lab partner...well at your lab partner more than you, you were kinda busy trying to get out of the cauldron to listen 

You and your lab partner were assigned to do a regression potion that was supposed to work in reviving dead plants or turning rotten food into edible again but when you were measuring the exact amount of the last ingredient to finish the potion, somebody accidentally pushed you making you spill all of the ingredients...and yourself into the cauldron.

so now there you are extremely confused about what just happened and incapable of taking care of yourself for the 3 days the potion was supposed to last and now your lab partner has to take care of you until the potion wore off or mister crewel finds an antidote

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle has an abusive mother and no younger siblings so our dear tomato is lost, he doesn’t know any rules that would help him take care of a little child so he asks trey for help (like most of heartsalybul when they have problems).

trey lets you eat pastries while riddle does his dorm leader duties but he looked away for a second and oops no child in sight...ok time to panic.

riddle was scolding some heartsalybul students that spilled all of the red paint in one of the chairs so now not only the other members of the dorm couldn’t continue painting but now the unbirthday party had to cancel and you know what happens when you break one of the queen’s rules

-OFF WITH YOUR- Riddle swung his magic pen

-wead!- riddle turn around to see you with a rose in your hand pretending it to be a magic pen

-off widd your wead!- you repeated swinging the rose up and down

riddle was stroked by your cuteness like a truck; he was speechless (also because picking roses was against the rules but lest ignore it) the two students he was scolding ran away because their dorm leader was picking you up and giggling at your little imitation of him 

-nono Off, with, your, head!-

-off wid your wead!-

Leona kingschoolar

-agh how annoying- the savanaclaw dorm leader wasn’t a big fan of children and much less taking care of them, he probably was gonna throw you at Ruggie or jack, both of them had younger siblings so they could probably take care of you better but there is one thing he didn’t count off

-LEONA OJI-TAN-...fuck, today was the day Cheka came to visit his dear oji-tan, now Leona is not only stuck with a brat but with a furball too.

-who are them uncle?-(owo who this) Cheka waved at the child that was behind his uncle’s legs-hi I am Cheka, wanna play tag?!-oh ho ho this gives him an idea

-Cheka this is Y/N, your new playmate-the lion cub had a little sparkle in his eyes

-you two can play all day and ill be watching you from that tree so have fun-hell yea he was a genius Cheka and you are entertained, and he can nap is a win-win situation for everyone

-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH- and there it goes his perfect plan

-oi, what happened- you were in  sitting on the ground while hugging your knee and crying your heart out and Cheka kneeled beside you trying to comfort you 

-I’m-I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to push you it was an accident- now he looked like he wanted to cry 

-agh you two cut it out-Leona said in a low growl while kneeling beside you-is just a scratch don’t worry just let me-he picked you up.

now all of you were in his room he gently  bandages your knee while Cheka was holding your hand for “moral support”

-kiss to make it better Leona oji-tan!-

-only if both of you promise to be more careful-Cheka nodded- ok “pain, pain go away *woshh*, there you go- you moved your knee and started to giggle while Cheka was already dragging you to continue playing, the two of you were lucky that both were cute because not everybody can see this side of Leona and live for telling it 

Azul Ashengrotto

-Come, come everyone!-the leader of octaville tapped his fedora-For the price of 25 madol you can have for a limited time only a  photo of our dear Y/N as a toddler!-

and of course, our dear capitalist Ursula is taking profit from this situation.

you were sitting in a little chair all dolled up while jade took pictures of you with different students and Floyd was taking the money from dose poor unfortunate souls

An hour passed and there were still about 50+ students in line for a photo when Azul notice something about you.

your hands were in the form of a tiny fist and your eyes were watery and you haven’t smiled at the camera for the last photos even when Floyd made funny faces behind jade you weren’t enjoying this.

usually, he wouldn’t care about it, he was making some good money and that was the important thing but you were different, you were his friend

-the lounge is closed, everyone get out, Floyd take care of that and jade-he looked for a second at you-make something warm for our little guest-

all of the students in line emitted different protest sounds but a look at Floyd grin and everyone was already on the exit

-sorry for all that little one- he lightly patted your hair-what about I pay you for your work with some treats?-

-*happy gasp* YESH!!-you hugged his leg with a strong grip-

-nee~ nee~, why Azul can have a hug from shrimpy and I cant?-

-FWOYD!! :D-

Kalim al asim

-Kalim, please calm down-Jamil said looking like he is gonna pop up a blood vessel

-LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y/N LITTLE Y-he was let’s say...excited about this situation

-JAMILLOOKATTHEMTHEYARESOCUTEANDTINYIWANNATROWAPARTYFORJUSTTHEMOMGTHEYARESOCUTE- 

-Remember to breathe Kalim and please calm down you are scaring them-Jamil said while kneeling to be on your level

-*gasp* I’m sorry y/n, I’m just so happy to be with you, are you hungry?-you give a quick nod

for the surprise of Jamil, the fact that you turned into a child made Kalim more independent???

he knew that crewel sensei asked Kalim to take care of you but he kinda assumed he is the one who will end up taking care of both of you.

-emmm Jamil-and here we go-have you seen Y/N around?-

-excuse me whAT??!!- Jamil shouted- HOW DO YOU LOSE A CHILD?-

-I didn’t lose them I just….temporally misplace them...OK YES, I LOST THEM BUT IS NOT MY FAULT WE WERE PLAYING HIDE N SEEK!-

-sure sure Kalim never anything is your fault-Jamil said between teeth-

Kalim could be a literal ray of sunshine but one of his bigs flaws were his “rich person behavior”

because he was spoiled and lived in a bubble he didn’t understand that his actions had consequences, in the good side he was working on it.

two hours had passed since that moment are you were nowhere to be found

now the scarabia duo was starting to panic

-OMG HOW IM SO CARELESS THAT I LOST THEM WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THEM IM THE WORST FRIEND IN THE WORLD-

-KALIM CALM DOWN, PANIC WILL NOT HELP IN THIS SITUATION-

-WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME-

-BECAUSE YOU ARE YELLING-

-*snore*-

-..............................-

-Jamil,...did that pillow made a sound?-

-I think so ?-

*SNOOOREEE*

and there you were sleeping under a big mountain of pillows you fell asleep while playing so that, why you didn’t, respond to the calls of the two boys

-ok Kalim we found them and I hope this had taught you a lesson about taking care of things...well taking care of people-

-oh for the great seven I thought I was gonna have a heart attack-

-now you know how I feel and I really would appreciate it if you used this experience to-

-*SNOOOOREEE*-

And now Kalim was sleeping beside you

great seven give Jamil patience and have mercy on both of you when morning comes 

Malleus draconia

-arent you a little thing fufufufuf-

-old man be careful with them-silver said

you might be wondering, I thought malleus would take care of toddler Y/N?

Well, that was the plan...malleus is a reserved man, with no friends more than his two guards and the older fae that raised him, that was until he meets you, you looked at him in the eyes with no fear just a hint of curiosity.

you gave him his first nickname,”tsunotaro” a childish name that was almost disrespectful to the heir of the valley of thorns and one of the most powerful wizards of all twisted wonderland, yet you called him that silly name, you hugged him, you listen to him and he listened to you, you were his friend and precisely because that he left you at the care of Lilia, the mere thought of you screaming and running away from him made his heart ache

that always happened…

Malleus is used to that, since he was a child people looked at him with fear or caution but never with kindness except for one person, you

and he was determined to let that like that, but he couldn’t stop thinking what if something happens to you?

what type of friend he would be if he lets somebody take advantage of you in this vulnerable state?

a peek wouldn’t hurt

there you were, in the flower bed of ramshackle dorm both planted, taking dandelions from around and with inexperience and tiny hands crafting a flower crown too small for anyone except you.

he looked at you from the shadows carefully to not being spotted warding you like the dragon he is.

-hewo-small and tired eyes fixed behind a large tree

malleus was behind that tree…

-whats yowr name?-now standing up and slowly walking to the tree in question-are you shy?, is oke I won’t hurt yow-

like if a child could do any damage to him

-I made thwis fow you-you said reveling a second flower crown that was just a little bit bigger than the one in your head 

you let the flower crown on the floor near the tree and waited, malleus knowing how stubborn you were he knew you wouldn’t leave so he left his hiding spot thinking about the screams and the fear your little face will have

-waaaa, you big! (giggles)-again, no signs of fear-uppa uppa!-you said while rising your hands to the sky and opening and closing your little fists

malleus emitted a low chuckle and picked you up, when you got to his eye level immediately went for his horns  touching and grabbing all your little hands could

-you sure are a strange thing, little child of man-