#ok so I don’t even care for Hello Future like that but y’all they played an orchestra instrumental followed by the live stage & that got me
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HELLO!!!
do u think I could ask for some angst->fluff for nightmares for the Diasomnia boys?
(twisted wonderland)
A/N: Hiya, my dear! First off, I'd like to say I'm so so sorry for the late response to your request. Life's been...hectic, to say the least, and I'm still getting the hang of trying to do proper time management. Anyhoot! Thanks so much for the request! I really enjoyed writing this one. Tbh, I love these boys so much and have been getting back into the Twist fandom again, so yea 💜 Well my friend, I hope the wait was worth it! Enjoy!
Pairing: Diasomnia boys x Reader
Tw: None! Just pure fluff!
Word Count: 607
Chase The Nightmares Away - Bad Dream Comfort Headcanons
Lilia
First up, we have our lovely bat dad. We all know he’d probably be the perfect person to go to for nightmares.
He’s bat dad for a reason y’all.
When you walk in he’s probably still up, probably playing video games.
So when you mumble you couldn’t sleep because of nightmares, he’s pulling up a chair, getting you a blanket, and snacks. Everything you need, peepaw has it.
Wanna talk about what happened? No worries, he’s helped Silver, Sebek, and Malleus many times with their nightmares.
“Little bat? Are you alright? Ah, a nightmare. There’s no need to worry, why don’t you come sit by me and we can play this new video game together? And if you want, you can tell me about what happened.”
Sebek
Sebek, yea..good luck on getting some comfort from him. But he’ll try his best!
He’ll probably be like: Human what are you doing in here? Oh, you had a nightmare? Uhm, why are you here then?
Poor boy would be so confused.
He’ll definitely point out how weak humans are, but then I think when he sees you truly upset, he’d feel it as his duty as a knight to protect “those weaker than him”. At least that’s the excuse he’s playing when we both know the crocodile boy cares in his own tsun-tsun way.
“Human? Why are you here so late? A nightmare? I do suppose a human would be bugged by something like that. Fae are much stronger. O-oh I didn’t mean to make you more upset. Ahem, well, as my duty as a knight in training I’ll do you the service of protecting you. You should be honored. Here, you can borrow my Malleus-Sama plush. I made it myself! It looks just like the young lord, doesn’t it?”
Silver
Ah yes, our sleepy little prince Silver. If this boy is actually awake for once I think he’d do a pretty good job at comforting you.
I can see him as the type to have a lot of blankets so he’d probably give you one to snuggle with as comfort.
I could also see him get some of his little animal friends to comfort you too if you wanted that.
And if you wanted to talk about your nightmare, he’d be all ears, at least until he’d fall back asleep. But, I bet he’d do his best to fight back the sleepiness as long as possible for you.
“Oh, Prefect. You’re up late. What’s that? You had a nightmare? I’m sorry, not sleeping well is never a good thing. Here, I have some extra blankets, and we can even get some of my animal friends here if you’d like. Don’t worry, it was just a dream, you’re ok now.”
Malleus
Ah, our Housewarden of Diasomnia, the future ruler of Briar Valley. Malleus Draconia. Our sweet draconic prince.
I think he’d care the most but not know whatever the loving hell what to do.
Does this man even get nightmares?
Walks around the Night Raven campus is definitely going to happen the second you tell him what’s wrong. Nothing solves problems better than a nice walk in some fresh air.
He’ll probably even tell you stories about his time in Briar Valley to distract you or even let you play with Gao Gao Dragon-kun!
10/10 best person to go to for comfort aside from Lilia.
“Child of Man? What’s the matter? You seem upset. Oh, a nightmare? Yes, those can be troubling. How about we take a walk outside and if you feel up to it, you can talk about it. It's better than being alone. I'll even let you play with Gao-Gao Dragon-kun.”
Well, that's it for these headcanons! I hope you enjoyed them! It was a lot of fun to write! And again, so sorry for the delay! Feel free to request again!
And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Twisted wonderland!
#the rebel fae#requests#commissions open#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#lillia vanrouge x reader#lillia x reader#twst lilia#twisted wonderland lilia#twst lilia x reader#lilia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver twst#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt#twst sebek#twisted wonderland sebek#sebek x reader#malleus draconia#twst malleus#malleus x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#requests open
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Chapter 3 (The Innocent)
The next day came around, Cesar, Monse, and Elizabeth were walking to school. The three were talking when Jamal and Ruby rode past them with their bikes.
“Get out the way,” Ruby called out as Jamal imitated a care engine.
Elizabeth chuckled, but gags when Cesar kissed Monse, “I love y’all, but don’t do that in front of me,”
“Eli, shut up,” Cesar rolled his eyes, “you and my brother probably do that when you’re alone,”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Elizabeth looked at him confused.
“Nothing,” Cesar shrugged as the three continued on their way to school.
Elizabeth was in class with Ruby and Olivia when the intercom came on with the announcements, “Attention, students. One last reminder to buy your tickets to tonight’s homecoming dance. A magical night of wonder, excitement, and romance can be yours for only $10.99,”
“So…” Ruby trailed off, “you going?”
“Yeah,” Olivia smiled, “Do you…”
“Do you…” Ruby started at the same time as Olivia, “you go first,”
“Do you need any underwear?” Elizabeth started laughing at the turn of events.
“What?” Ruby asked, horrified.
“ Your mom’s at Costco,” Olivia explained.
“Um…” Ruby turned to look straight, “I’m good,”
“Ok,” Olivia turned back to her phone, “also, they ran out of your gummy vitamins so your mom got you small easy to swallow pills. That cool?”
Ruby hummed in embarrassment while Elizabeth couldn’t breathe and began weezing at the turn of events. She had to contain herself when Ruby turned and glared at her so she looked down and took out her notebook with her lips sealed, but still let out a few laughs. The teacher arrived inside the class and began the lesson so Elizabeth listened and took notes as her eyes drifted towards the clock to see how long left until class is over.
Lunch came around and Elizabeth was the first one to get to the table with her food, she sat with her food in front of her and a book. A few pages turned and a couple bites into her food, the group finally came to the table so she put away her book and looked to the group, but an awkward pause passed.
“I’m wearing indigo tonight,” Ruby interrupted the silence, “I thought we should claim colors to avoid outfit clases. Indigo? Any objections?”
“Nah, Ruby. All you, man,” Elizabeth chuckled.
“Oh, and my pants have red pockets. I know, it sounds weird, but it works,” Ruby continued.
“What are the pockets for?” Olivia asked before she leaned towards Monse, “Roofies?”
The boys and Elizabeth looked at them weird, “so what time should we meet?” Cesar asked the group.
“Yeah, let’s get that in the books. More specific, the better,” Jamal said, “what are you guys thinking, like 8? 8:05? 8:10?”
“I’m gonna play it by ear,” Olivia replied, “I don’t think I’m feeling it,”
“What? Why?” Ruby asked.
“Not sure I’m in the mood to be objectified,” Olivia smiled sarcastically, “if I want to see boners, I’ll look online,”
“Didn’t you hear Principle Serge? Dance is a no-bone zone,” Jamal brought up the announcement.
“Are you kidding me? Dances are cesspools of bad behavior,” Cesar shook his head at Monse’s strategy, “I don’t wanna go,”
“Yeah, people get freaky, but what’s wrong with that?” Ruby shrugged, “I don’t get it,”
“Yeah, Monse. Why don’t you wanna go? Explain it to us. You were pretty excited this morning,” Cesar pried into Monse.
“That was before I remembered that dances are lame,” Monse glared at the boy, “and maybe we’re not in the mood,”
“Oh,” Ruby looked as if he realized something, “is it your menses?”
Elizabeth started laughing while Olivia looked at him weird, “her what?”
“Her lady pond runneth red,” Ruby said before Jamal hit him on his arm to stop.
“My what?” Monse glared at Ruby.
“What?” Ruby looked genuinely confused, “what am I saying wrong?”
“Everything!” The two girls exclaimed at the confused friend.
“You guys just don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman and treated like an object,” Monse looked at the guys, “we have hearts!”
“And minds,” Olivia added, “so take out any question that we’re going tonight. The answer is no. with a period, ‘cause that’s what it’s actually called,”
“Girls, let’s dine in a less hostile environment,” Monse stood up.
“You read my mind,” Olivia rolled her eyes.
“I gotta go anyway to finish some assignments,” Elizabeth chuckled as she grabbed her backpack, “I don’t know what happened, but I’ll see y’all later,”
The day went by as classes dragged on until the last bell rang and students flooded the halls to leave the place they personally called hell. Elizabeth was part of the last few people in the flood since she needed to go to her locker and pick up her homework, but when she walked out and saw the feared gang leader inside his beloved cherry red Impala. She wanted to turn back and exit through the back; however, he already saw her when he got out and leaned his back into the car, staring at her. The girl decided to try to ignore him and walk past without a glance. She was about to walk past until he gently held her right hand before she walked past.
“Mamita,” Oscar smirked at the girl, “you ain’t getting rid of me easy so get in the car,”
Elizabeth glared at the older man in front of her, “nah, I got some shit to focus on so I’ll catch up with Ruby and Jamal,”
Oscar’s smirked dropped as he quickly, but gently pushed her against his car, resting his hands on the top of the car, “they may be tu amigos pero I’m not afraid to beat their asses,”
Elizabeth felt everyone’s eyes on them so she rolled her eyes and complied, not wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. Oscar smirked and kissed her forehead before moving to open the passenger door for her. The gang leader went to the driver’s side and turned to his passenger.
“Where do you wanna go?” Oscar took the blunt behind his ear.
“Home,” Elizabeth’s stomach decided to rumble at that moment.
Oscar chuckled, “Nah, we stoppin’ somewhere to eat. Whatchu feelin’?”
“Nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Let’s go to McDonald’s and you’re paying since you’re kinda kidnapping me,” Elizabeth glared at Oscar.
“Alright, mamita. Whatever you say,” Oscar smirked at the irritated girl as he turned into the parking lot of a McDonald’s.
The two got out once he parked and went inside to put in their order. While the two were waiting, she got a text from the girls group chat asking if she was going to the dance with them. She didn’t know that Oscar moved to stand right behind her, chest touching back, and saw the text.
“You goin’ to the dance?” Oscar asked.
“Don’t know,” Elizabeth shrugged, turning to face him, “might pick up an extra shift that night at the restaurant,”
“Nope. You’re not because you study too much and work too much,” Oscar shook his head and laid a hand on her waist, “you and I are hanging out tonight,”
“I need to, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she pushed his hand off her waist, “deje de tratar de tocarme,”
“Por que, bebita? I can’t help myself. eres demasiado hermosa,” Oscar smirked as he wrapped an arm around her neck and walked to the register to order their food.
“Hello. Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get you guys?”
“Let’s get the 20 piece chicken nuggets combo and a number one,” Oscar took out his wallet and brought out two twenties.
Oscar got his change as Elizabeth went to the soda fountain and chose her drink, Oscar coming up from behind and choosing his. They decided to take a sit next to the pick up counter and small talked their way until the food came out.
Elizabeth looked down at her food as she dipped her nugget in ranch, “Oscar, why are you trying so hard to get at me? I’m nothing special and there are a lot of other girls that want you and will make time for you. I’m not gonna lie, I barely have time to even hang out with my friends so I’m barely gonna have time for you,”
Oscar swallowed the food in his mouth, “Well, I want you because there is something about you. No me importa si apenas tienes tiempo, siempre y cuando me des algo de tu tiempo. Let me claim you as mine, bebe,”
The two ate their food, moving past the subject, and made their way home, but Oscar passed Elizabeth’s house and continued making his way farther from her house.
“Oscar, where are you going? We passed my house,” Elizabeth was getting confused.
“I just wanna show you something,” Oscar glance at her.
Oscar drove in silence as his right arm had moved to rest behind Elizabeth, his hand lightly touching her right shoulder. Elizabeth felt her heartbeat increase in her chest and it was foreign feeling to her because she never felt like that towards anybody. However, she pushed it aside and focused on the road when she realized that they ended up at the beach. The moment Oscar parked the car, Elizabeth got out and stood in front of the car with a huge smile on her face, turning to Oscar and giving him the sight of her smiling face with the son behind her. It was quite a beautiful sight to the scary leader.
“Why did you take me here?” Elizabeth asked, smile stuck on her face.
“This is the place I go to when I need to think and want to get away from Freeridge. The openness and sounds of the oceans help me think and relax,” Oscar stared at the never ending blue ocean as Elizabeth admired the man from the side.
Elizabeth was surprised by his answer, “so you took me to your secret place?”
Oscar nodded, “I want to show you that I am serious about you and that I want you to be mine. Why do you work so hard? Why do you hustle that much?”
Elizabeth took a pause to contemplate telling him, “my dad was a construction worker so he would be in dangerous areas. One day, he was on ground level doing his job when something happened and he got hit in the head. Ever since then he has been messed up and goes to hospital visits to check on his head. Hospital bills build up and the compensation that he got was used on his bills and appointment he needs to go to so I work to help my mom out with bills and I get some extra money for myself and the future,”
Oscar cleared his throat and moved in front of Elizabeth to hold both of her hands while interlocking their fingers, “I’m here if you need anything, mamita,”
“Gracias, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth had a soft smile on her face, “Let’s take things slow and maybe I’ll be yours,”
The two smiled at each other as they moved to look at the sunset, but it seemed like the two of them were enchanted with the other.
“Tell me about you,” Elizabeth stared at the man next to her, “why did you choose this life? Just tell me everything about you,”
“When I was young, my father was killed and my mother was a drug addict. That left me to take care of Cesar so I did all I could to take care of him. I mean, I had an opportunity to go to this fancy school in Pasadena and I had recommendation letters written from the principal and teachers, but I didn’t want Cesar alone so I gave it up and got jumped in because of ‘destiny’ of the Diaz familia,” Oscar scoffed, “it’s hard. I think about what could have been, but I don’t regret not going because Cesar is here,”
Elizabeth smiled at the love that was so evident in his eyes and tone when he talked about his little brother, “thanks for sharing, ‘scar. I didn’t know you were smart,”
“Pendeja,” Oscar chuckled with Elizabeth while wrapping his arm around her and kissing her head.
@love-me-91393
#OMB#on my block#oscar spooky diaz#spooky diaz#spooky diaz x reader#spooky diaz imagines#spooky diaz imagine#julio macias#julio macias fanfic#julio macias fanfiction#Oscar Diaz#oscar diaz imagine#oscar diaz x reader#oscar diaz imagines#cesar diaz#monse finnie#Jamal Turner#ruby martinez#oscar x elizabeth
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I Forgot How We Used To Be
So, uh, mentions of DADT. I’m sorry y’all this will be angsty as shit. But also really fluffy.
~~~
Tony and Rhodey’s first kiss was the cheesiest thing in the world. It was in their dorm room. Tony heard they were playing broadcasting “Back to the Future” on a cable channel so he bought on impulse a TV, a popcorn machine and enough couches for a theater room, and set it all up in their home. When Rhodey came back home, he found a smiling Tony sitting on the seats, mentioning for Rhodey to sit next to him. Rhodey wanted to protest, tell Tony Rhodey didn’t need him to buy expensive things. Instead, he gave in and sat next to his friend.
They flirted whenever they got the chance, their hands bumped into each other as they reach for the popcorn, they both leaned into each other unconsciously, but the height of it all is when Rhodey stretched and yawned and his arm fell around Tony’s shoulders. Rhodey froze, realizing what happened.
But Tony only snorted. “That was cheesy as fuck,” he said but leaned into Rhodey’s side.
“You love it,” Rhodey smirked.
Tony looked up from Rhodey’s shoulder, “I do.”
And they kissed because it was inevitable.
And it was incredible.
~~~
Their first kiss wasn’t the only cheesy thing. They just were cheesy.
They were the kind of couple that gave each other good morning kisses and brought each other flowers when they saw that there were some on sale and that kind of couple that kissed the hand intertwined with theirs and that kind of couple that had elaborate or sweet pet names for one another or and that kind of couple that flirted shamelessly and that kind of couple that snuck into anywhere just to make out and that kind of couple that had their a code for when they wanted to talk privately in public and that kind of couple where the family of your significant other adopts you that kind of couple that used Polaroid instant camera and kept all the pictures in a secret box and they were that kind of couple that told each other “I love you” every chance they got. They were that kind of couple that loved each other and showed it every chance they got.
They were also that kind of couple that had to hide their relationship away from the paparazzi so Rhodey could be drafted. They were that kind of couple that shared “a kiss for good luck?” when Tony said goodbye to Rhodey at the train station. They were that kind of couple that had letters written and read and left at home to find, to be opened for any occasion under the sun that meant "for when you miss me". They were that kind of couple that sent and received care packages filled with flowers and love letters, for when they thought the gestures were needed. They were that kind of couple that a little distance didn’t affect. Their love went on for miles.
It didn’t last forever.
~~~
The day DADT was up for passing, Rhodey asked for a one day leave. He and Tony cuddled up in front of the news and willed the law not to pass, knowing it will change everything. Logically they both knew it would be an improvement; Rhodey could serve and he wouldn’t be asked. But there was a sickening feeling in their stomach that told them it was wrong.
When the law was passed neither of them looked at the screen. They didn’t look at each other either.
~~~
The policy somehow made it worse. Suddenly everyone became a suspect, no one could assume that there weren’t any gays in the military. The packages and letters stopped coming, Rhodey too afraid of anyone discovering he was gay. Their calls, those in public, sounded to everyone listening like they were just friends. Rhodey wasn’t asked, but the harassment came in different forms.
Tony hated it only a little less than Rhodey.
It wasn’t easy; as Rhodey rose in the ranks and became the liaison for SI they had to hide more often. As Tony and Rhodey got more friends that they trusted; Pepper, Happy, Maria, and Carol only knew them as subtle. As Tony got more attention, Rhodey and Tony never even got to touch in public. As Rhodey once said “I’m glad that we hid this since the beginning or I would be out of a job” they both felt conflicted at the fight that followed. As Tony disappeared, Rhodey searched tirelessly for him and was mocked with the rhetorical question “what, are you in love with him or something?”; Rhodey wanted to scream but instead, he calmly responded, “sir, to my understating that is the Don’t Ask part of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” It was hard and frustrating and Tony just wanted to buy out the government with all of his money as long as the law got repealed.
And then it did.
~~~
Old habits die hard, however. They weren’t used to suddenly being able to be affectionate. They used to do it all the time before, with no distance and no suspicion. But now, 22 years later... they got used to being watched. It took a while before they got back to how they used to be.
The first spet it was when Tony texted him. They never texted before. Not like that at least. It was always professional and strained, and although they both wanted to write something sweeter, they never did, they never could.
And then Tony did it.
It was Rhodey’s first business trip since DADT was repealed, the first time they spent time apart after DADT was repealed. Tony woke up aching for Rhodey. And so he reached for his phone, searching for Rhodey and wrote up a text... before freezing, remembering. He nearly turned off his phone before he remembered again, this time the good news, and then he hesitantly pressed send.
“Good morning, honey ❤️”
Tony waited nervously for a response, half preparing for when he would be asked to hack into SMS and delete the text. Instead what he got back was,
“Good morning, baby ❤️”
~~~
More habits started to come back slowly.
~~~
The first time they kissed in front of their friends, they were shocked.
“Oh my God,” Pepper said, “did you just kiss?”
“Yeah,” Tony smirked, quite proud of himself, “any problem with that?”
“No, it’s just... I never saw you two kiss.”
Rhodey frowned, “was that some fantasy of yours?”
Happy fought off a smile.
“I’m just surprised that’s all,” Pepper bristled, “you never kiss.”
“Well, now we can, so,” and Tony took Rhodey’s hand.
~~~
Date night was returned rather dully. It started like any other “guys night out” evening they had. They just went out to some bar, drank some beers, played some billiard, and ate some junk food off the menu. But then Tony held his hand under the table, and suddenly it was different.
From then on, they held hands under tables and kissed good night when they got back home every Thursday.
~~~
For their anniversary, Tony arranged for them to go on a vacation together, and they spent it with Rhodey taking over for Tony’s spectacular failure at cooking dinner, and then later after an amazing dinner, gifts were exchanged. Tony got him a photo album of all their old photos.
“I thought you told me you burned them all,” Rhodey looked bewildered.
Tony winced, “couldn’t do that. I hid them really well though. Forgive me?”
Rhodey shook his head, “it’s ok. I’m glad you didn’t destroy them.”
Tony smiled.
Rhodey and Tony flipped through the pages, reminiscing about old times, laughed about old jokes, kissed when they felt particularly affectionate until they reached the part where the photo album was blank.
Rhodey looked up to Tony in question.
Tony grinned, “the last half we’ll fill with photos from this.” And he showed Rhodey a black instant Polaroid camera.
Their first photo after that was Rhodey kissing Tony deeply.
~~~
The habits fully returned a year after DADT was repealed, triggered by Rhodey catching on to Tony having a panic attack while they were on a date.
“Tony? Are you okay?” Rhodey asked, moving to hold Tony, that had begun to shake.
“Ye-yeah, I have to- I have to go,” Tony stammered and quickly exited the restaurant. Rhodey chased after him but what he saw when he walked outside was the Iron Man suit flying away.
Rhodey called Tony, and when there was no answer. He went to Tony's house, this time not taking a rejection. He banged on the doors and demanded Tony let him in.
“Tones!” Rhodey hugged Tony as he walked into the apartment, “what the fuck was that? Are you having a panic attack?”
“I don’t know, I-” Tony leaned into the touch, melting in his arms. Tony was very sweaty, and he was shaking like a leaf in Rhodey's arms.
“Breathe in and out, Tony,” Rhodey instructed, deciding to ignore Tony brushing him off for now.
“Your heartbeat helps calm me,” Tony mumbled.
When Tony stopped shaking, Rhodey turned Tony towards him so they were face to face. “Tony, baby... why did you run out of the restaurant? I could have helped you. You know I used to have panic attacks too.”
Tony looked away from Rhodey’s gaze, “you would’ve wanted to comfort me. We can’t be seen affectionate in public...”
Rhodey stared at him, trying to see how serious Tony was. When a nervous expression was all the looked back, Rhodey enveloped him in his arms again.
He should have known. They rarely held hands in public. They never kissed goodbye when everyone could see. They only times they said I love you were between each other. They weren’t a PDA couple. Not anymore.
But they could be, “baby, anytime you want me, in any way you want me, you can have me. You can hold my hand, you can ask for a hug, you can request a kiss... whatever it is... I’m yours.”
Tony didn’t respond, he only buried his head in Rhodey’s chest and silently cried.
~~~
After that, Tony and Rhodey got back to their PDA habits very quickly. They kissed hello and goodbye, they said or shouted I love you in public, they gave each other flowers when everyone could see and they held hands every chance they got (sometimes while flipping off the paps).
“I miss DADT,” Pepper groaned as she watched Tony and Rhodey cuddle, in the middle of a passionate kiss as Pepper said her joke.
#hear me out!!! they are soft and cheesy af#the writing is cheesy to match the actions <3#btw i did minimal research for dadt but some parts are correct#obvs homophobia hasnt suddenly stopped post dadt but its my world and they all homophobes just dropped dead that sec rhodeytony kissed#although you can read this as unlearning internalised homophobia so theres that#btw the first scene tony is in grad school and 18 and rhodeys 21#druwrites#iron husbands#ironhusbands#rhodey#james rhodes#james rhodey rhodes#war machine#tony stark#iron patriot#iron man#ironman#rhodeytony#tonyrhodey#rhodeytony fic#rhodeytony fanfic#ironhusbands fanfic#ironhusbands fic#rhodey x tony#tony x rhodey#tony stark x james rhodes#james rhodes x tony stark#otp: love forged in iron
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is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings
hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep
anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:
I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”
but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut
I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers
y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now
but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid
Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline
during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet
it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her
which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:
and secondly there’s like
hm. ok
well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P
which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO
but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”
I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them
n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario
‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t
Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory
and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”
just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute
but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding
in terms of how they express their affections though??
so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do
as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is
anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right
Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour
anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick
these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao
but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around
a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P
and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent
there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like
Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship
(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)
but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”
and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED
I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards
lmao
but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows
anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:
#Anonymous#i started to ramble then i was like#oh man i better keep this short actually and try and get through this quick and then by the end of it i was#back to rambling#it's fine#i would go into more detail abt the relationships themselves but i think. this reply is super lengthy as is :')#i think i have been on some rambles abt shara and kai in the past?? but idk if i could find those to link them lmao#atdao#there's an only tangentially relevant ramble about being aro right at the end#cuz its like. im aro and i feel this in my heart but also#*gestures vaguely*#anyway g'night team
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Thirst Tweets
Sam Wilson x Reader
Synopsis: Sam Wilson reads his thirst tweets and you get a little flustered.
Warnings: Cursing
ENJOY!!
You finally made it.
After years and years of hard work, tireless nights, and early mornings, you finally landed your dream job, a videographer for Buzzfeed. The position allowed you to meet so many new and interesting people. Not to mention the money.
It was your first day in the studio after two weeks of training and dumb HR videos, and you couldn't keep the smile off your face. Your fingers kept flipping and playing with your new ID badge. The security guard probably thought you were a serial killer or something since you were smiling so hard. It was hard for you to believe that you had finally made some of your biggest dreams come true. This job would be the key to becoming the next Alfred Hitchcock or Stephen Spielberg.
You always knew you wanted to work in film. As a child you found movies fascinating, but not for the same reasons most children did. You were interested in the cinematography, the transitions between scenes and the editing. Of course you didn’t know anything about it as a child, but you quickly immersed yourself in it and learned everything you could. You busted your ass through high school to get accepted into one of the best film schools in the country and shortly after graduation, you landed this job. All of the stars were aligning and everything felt like it was fate. Sometimes you can't believe your luck.
You had no idea how your first day would be, or what your first video would be. In the end it really didn’t matter to you, you were excited just to be in a space with so many people who were like-minded and so talented. After grabbing a granola bar from the snack table, you made your way toward your boss, Yolanda. Your bright eyes taking in everything you could from the plain light blue set. You had grabbed your folder which had information about what you were filming, but you hadn’t had much time to really look into it. All you knew was that it was an interview of some kind. And because you worked at Buzzfeed that didn’t really tell you much.
Yolanda briefly glanced up at you and a big smile spread across her thin face. She turned back to her phone and waved you over to where she was standing. “Y/N! There’s my little protege. Come here for a sec!” You picked up your pace and tried to calm yourself even though you were practically vibrating in front of her.
She chuckled softly and shook her head. She could read your energy so easily. “I remember that feeling exactly. The excitement of your first day on the job, between you and me I threw up from the adrenaline. And while I understand the excitement you have I know it’s not the best start. But appreciate the feeling for as long as you can kid. It’s the best.”
You nodded, “Can you tell me what exactly we are shooting today? I wasn’t able to get a good look at the folder before I had to come down.” You wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Knowing the subject would help you start to plan out everything in your head. Hopefully in the future they will get you the folder before the day of the shoot.
Yolanda smiled, “No one told you? We’re having the Falcon read his thirst tweets!”
You froze. How the hell did Buzzfeed manage to pull that off? Sam Wilson was bigger than any celebrity, nobody could even come close to the man. Everyone loved him, and he seemed to really love his fans as well. You knew Buzzfeed had influence in the industry, but you had no idea they had enough pull to land an Avenger.
You were beyond excited mainly because they trusted you with something that was such a big deal. But also because you’ve had the biggest crush on this particular winged avenger for a couple of years.
“Oh my God, Yolanda thank you so much for this opportunity! I promise I will not let you down!” You bounced slightly on the back of your heels.
She was shaking her head before you even finished. “I have complete faith in you Y/N. That’s why I hired you. I don’t hire people I don’t think I can’t trust to get the work done. I know you are going to do great.”
You had a thousand questions, but if Sam Wilson was coming here you had to focus. As well as calm down. . “When will he be here? I need to prepare and check on everything.”
“He should be here in about half an hour.”
You choked. HALF AN HOUR! How in the hell were you supposed to double and triple check everything in half an hour? You immediately scrambled to your equipment and got started. You’d be damned if you had any mishaps in front of Sam freaking Wilson.
Luck was on your side. You had just finished giving everything another once over when a booming voice startled everyone.
“CUT THE CHECK!” And with that, Falcon walked onto the set. You already knew the man was attractive, but the pictures and videos you’d seen didn’t do him justice at all. He was HUGE. Easily a foot taller than you and his arms were like telephone poles hanging from his shoulders. His signature gap-toothed grin was wide as he greeted everyone in the room. He made it a point to shake everyone’s hands as he passed them. So he definitely had manners.
Your heart rate jumped as he got closer to where you were standing. By the time he stood in front of you, your mouth was dry and your palms were sweating.
He smirked as he reached out his hand. “Well hello there beautiful. What’s your name?”
You struggled to keep your composure. “Y/N. I’ll be one of your videographers for the shoot.”
He reached out his hand, but when you reached out to shake it, he grasped it lightly and brought it to his lips. He slowly leaned down, staring into your eyes, and brought your hand to his lips. Your brain completely short circuited as soon as his lips made contact. Oh man, This man was dangerous.
He hummed as he straightened up, but he didn’t let go of your hand. “Well it is great to meet you Y/N. I see I’m in capable hands.”
You could feel the heat in your face, but you tried to keep your composure. The fangirl look was not cute. “Thank you. I’ll take care of everything, don’t worry about any of it.”
He smirked and moved in closer to you. Realizing you only came up to his ribcage did some things to your insides. The man was just ridiculously big, this thought ran through your head repeatedly. It made you wonder what else about him was big.
“Oh, I believe you. You look like a girl who would take care of me.”you almost fell over. It should be illegal for a wink like that to exist honestly. One quick flick of his eye and you were ready to drop your panties for this man. It’s a wonder how anyone is able to fight him.
Sam made his way to the chair on the backdrop. He had already been through makeup and wardrobe so it was almost time to start the shoot. One of the crew members brought the infamous blue container and handed it off to Sam. He grinned as he took a peek inside. “Oh, there’s a lot of these!”
There were a few more minutes of everyone setting up their equipment and then the director gave the signal to start filming. “Alright everyone, ready in five, four, three” She silently showed two and one, then threw her hand into the air and mouthed “action”.
Despite your nervousness, you were on autopilot. Your hands and body knew all of the motions and picked up your mental slack. Sam seemed completely at ease, not the easiest thing when you had at least 30 people staring at you behind blinding lights. He started to make his introduction.
“Hey everyone, I’m Sam Wilson, also known as The Falcon and I am at Buzzfeed to read your thirst tweets.” He picked up the blue container, making a show of it being extremely heavy. “And from the looks of it, y’all are really thirsty.” He grinned and sent a wink directly into the camera. Your camera.
Once you’ve recovered from yet another winkgate, you start to notice all of the things a videographer would. You already knew Sam was photogenic, he managed to make it on the paper somehow pretty much weekly, but you never truly appreciated how much the camera loved him. His skin did not wash out in the lights and the smooth brown skin did something to you. He was a naturally charming guy and his personality was incredibly likeable. You already knew this video would be a huge hit on Youtube.
Sam pulled out the first slip of paper, and started to read it out loud. “I’d let Falcon fucking destroy me and ask if he was free the next day.” He smirked, and made sure to look right into the camera again, his eyes full of mirth. “Babygirl, I wouldn’t destroy you. A meal should be savored, not torn into.” He smirked again, then kept going, “Unless you want me to tear into you. If so, I’d be happy to oblige.”
You felt your entire body clench as he spoke. Oh he was nasty. This was going to be one hell of a shoot. You were well aware of how nasty people were on Twitter, especially when it came to the Avengers. Sam’s tweets were always especially nasty. He was such a flirty person, so he always attracted some of the freakier people.
He smiled really bright for the camera. “Let’s read the next one. It says ‘I want Sam Wilson to explore my guts.’” He let out a loud laugh, shaking his head. “Oh y’all are really nasty. Ok bet, I’m with it.” He leaned forward and beckoned the camera closer with his fingers. Y/N zoomed in as much as she could and still kept the frame. Sam grinned. “Sweetheart didn’t you know they call me Indiana Jones? I’ll explore every inch of them guts. I’ll find the treasure and I’m taking it with me, you hear me? I’m gonna find every secret passageway and get through all the traps. I’m leaving a souvenir too.”
One of the crew members yelled really loudly, ”Whew!” while fanning themselves and everyone laughed. It did nothing to curb the sexual tension in the room though. It was a pleasant surprise to find out that Falcon was with the shits, everyone kind of expected him to be more PG, like Cap. They couldn’t have been more wrong.
Sam started laughing, “Y’all are making this so hard! And you're making me hard! I didn’t know I had this many people checking for me. Y’all got a guy feeling really good!” He quickly realized his mistake. “Oh shit, sorry y’all you’ll have to edit that out.” He didn’t seem very sorry though. It didn’t help that he was staring at you the entire time he was talking. Was that your cue? You definitely didn’t need any convincing, you were already down for whatever this man wanted from you.
He shook his head and reached for the next slip of paper, “What are y’all gonna come up with next?” He started to read the tweet aloud. “Ok, so can Sam Wilson just put a baby in me?” He laughed so hard he leaned backwards in the chair. “Y’all are wild, I love it. I can’t guarantee I’d put a baby in you, but I’m definitely down to try baby girl.” You couldn’t tell if he was staring at you or the camera.
The director motioned for a few more then they would wrap up the shoot. You never wanted this to end. This video was really gonna break the internet.
Sam grabbed the next one, smirking before he even started reading it aloud. “All I want for Christmas is a train with Falcon, Captain America, and Bucky.” He scoffed, “Alright, now I’m offended. Let me make one thing clear. If I got you, you don’t need anybody else. Hell, you won’t have the energy for someone else. Cap and Bucky have nothing on me alright?” He pointed to you, “You feel what I’m saying, babygirl?”
You nodded so hard you almost bit your tongue. He smirked, “That’s my girl. And if my amazing videographer agrees, then it must be true. We’ll do one more tweet.”
“Sam Wilson is the epitome of big dick energy. If you disagree, fight me.” He clapped his hands, “Aye! Now this one knows what’s up! Y’all already know what’s going on, I don’t need to say a damn thing. I’m not called black stallion for nothing, ya dig?” He winked at you. Definitely not at the camera, at you. Damn it, now you have to change your underwear.
Sam looked into the camera again. “Well that’s it beautiful people. Y’all have my confidence on another level! Don’t let me run into one of y’all in the street!” He stuck out his tongue and flicked it, like he was going in on some pussy and every woman in the studio lost their shit, you included.
The director beat all of you to it though. “Cut! Sam you can’t say that!”
Sam was laughing his ass off. “Sorry, but I had to let them know I’m with the shits. You can cut it, but at least everyone in this room knows.” He looked at you again. “YN. Was my message clear?”
You couldn’t even look at him. That man’s presence alone was too much for you. You did make sure to nod your head vigorously though. He did ask you a question after all. You got a little worried when you didn’t hear him say anything else, but that worry quickly became shock when you felt hands on your chin.
Sam fucking Wilson was right in your face. He pulled your face up until your eyes met and he stared down at you kinda hard. Like he was mad.
“I asked you a question babygirl. Answer it.” His voice was hard and deep.
You swallowed hard, “Yes sir, your message was clear.” He relaxed a bit and hummed.
“Good. I had to make sure you heard it. Now I have another question for you.”
You were definitely curious. What else could the man have to say to you? “What is it?” you asked.
He smirked and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Can I tell you what my thirst tweet for you would be?”
#milkfics#milkymondays#samxreader#sam wilson#avengers fanfiction#imagines#one shots#sam wilson fic#milky fics#milk fics
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hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)
I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now
I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules.
Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit.
Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal.
Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess?
He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee.
Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them.
This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut
I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow?
Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling.
Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair.
It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back.
In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home.
He goes back for Christmas only.
Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks
Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future.
Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all.
They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross.
Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come.
It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours.
She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car.
That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while.
Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write.
Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city.
Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on.
Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS.
Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them.
#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.
#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand.
#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments. There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;
okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her.
She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests.
So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.
Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong?
She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times.
Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings.
A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers.
#wip4#keaton#mika#lynne#percival#abby#all five of them wowza#'hey trade are you doing sts should you answer the other questions in your inbox'#I should but I won't I'm going to sleep soon but thank you for asking#this was fun! thank you logan this was helpful and fun and now I know more stuff about the characters
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Episode 21 - The PTSD is strong with this one & we need more braincells
Hello hello! Welcome to the commentary. How’s everyone? I’m frozen solid because it’s mid-June in Spain and yet we had 11°C yesterday. Fucking awesome!
I AM NOT WEARING MASCARA SO I CAN CRY ALL I WANT. I DONT KNOW IF THATS GOOD OR BAD THO.
Can I just take a second to appreciate how much this big strong powerful men emote? I mean, I know this isn’t western media where the tough guy can’t show emotions, and I don’t know that eastern media has the same hangups about men emoting but just... it’s so refreshing.
Huaisang bb you’re so sweet.
Oh, oh the PTSD is strong with this one.
Also, bless both JC and NHS, they absolutely noticed WWX flinch and, in their own ways, went and steamrolled over it so WWX wouldn’t feel scrutinised.
WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YALL THAT I GOT A KITTEN ON MY LAP. (She’s kneading my boob, which, ow, but...)
*BICHEN GRIIIIIIIP*
How do y’all think the guards go deliver bad news to WRH? Like do they paper-rock-scissor it? Draw straws?
NMJ did you have to?
And once again I wonder what would’ve happened if JFM had let sect leader Yao kick it.
Ughvhfnevus it’s this clown. Same as with Su She, if you see a bunch of screaming it’s just me not wanting to listen to Jin ZiXun.
The Nies: let’s throw a banquet to honour WWX’s return
Every asshole there: *gossips about WWX while in the room with him*
Once again I wish I could transmigrate (and speak mandarin lol) and just start delivering tongue lashings.
Listen, I have no idea how to play Guqin, but I did play the guitar for years and even from here I can see how much YiBo’s hands don’t match the melody. Nothing against him but why does this always happen? I know they got classes, so was the music not written by that time or something? Because one thing is not hitting the correct notes, another is plucking slow notes when the tempo is much faster.
JC: Since yours and LWJ’s unhappy separation...
My dumbass: do you mean breakup? *eyebrow waggle*
You will pry my “JC knows his brother is pinning after LWJ, he probably doesn’t want to know anything else” hc out of my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch.
WWX: *spouts a bunch of misdirection to avoid giving JC a straight answer*
JC: Bull-fucking-shit.
Should I count how many times WWX PTSDs all over the place or would you like me to leave your hearts intact? That’s two so far.
Ok ok, I feel that, if someone with a bit less trauma and a bit of insight (NHS maybe?) had seen the bit where ChenQing fucking hurts Shijie thing would’ve gone differently. I mean, yes, LWJ keeps warning WWX that this shit is gonna fuck him up, but as I said in my previous commentary LWJ also has the communication skills of a hermit crab so that wouldn’t work, and JC would be too wound up and WWX too busy trying to conceal his lack of golden core for that conversation to go anywhere. But if someone who WWX knows is a good egg (I’m not gonna say trusts bc paranoia) had sat him down and told him “your new instrument that you use for your new form of cultivation just hurt the person you love most please be careful when you use it.” I think it would’ve worked wonders towards his health overall.
I know Shijie says it’s like Zidian, but she’s not working with the fact that this thing is made for and by the Dark Side of the Force and I’m sorry but I can’t help but see ChenQing as a bit of a horrocrux almost. Or like, if you like me think the Burial Mounds is an Entity, something that’s a bit more sentient that it lets on.
Speaking of reputations and NHS being a good egg, I have oh-so-many ideas (I won’t say plot bunnies because I can’t write for shit) in which NHS for Reasons (time-travel? Letter from the future? His massive brain?) realises just how much damage WWX is doing to his public image. And he might be a sheltered dandy, but he saw what being the son of a sex worker did to Meng Yao despite how hard he worked (I’m assuming he doesn’t know about the whole betrayal business). This is way fucking worse, like hell is he going to let one of his best friends paint a target on his back. So he pulls back his sleeves, engages his slytherin brain and proceeds to lay down a plan to throughly destroy WWX’s reputation as a powerful genius.
I’m guessing LWJ and JC protest, and maybe WWX, and NHS just hits them with “do you want him respected or alive?” And they shut tf up. He glues himself to WWX, and brings up as many instances in which their behaviour can be compared as he can (we got drunk and punished at cloud recesses, we slept in class, we skipped to go fishing, I don’t carry my sword either). And, because assholes be assholes, people like Sect Leader Yao or Clown Cousin are quick to start spouting their own derogatory bullshit and thus WWX the untamed powerful prodigy dies a fiery death. Now he’s just a mouthy kid with a quick mind that “does tricks instead of battle” (I’ll never get bored of using that Thor quote). I also like to think that people who personally know WWX and are not pieces of shit go give NHS a tongue lashing for messing with what they thought was his friend, NHS takes that as a test of good eggness and bring them into the plan. Soon the whole Cloud Recesses class is swearing up, down, left, right and centre that all the shit WWX has ever successfully pulled is just an insane amount of luck and quick thinking.
I don’t know how would they work him into the battlefield (disguise? Mask?) to unleash his demonic cultivation but that’s Plot and I don’t do that.
Also, because I’m a terrible human being I want to say that people assume LWJ is on “pretty but useless” WWX like white on rice because *insert derogatory comment about being good in bed and sexual favours*. Because y’all know the assholes here are Like That. And WWX is horrified because holy fucking shit he’s gonna drag LWJ’s reputation down, he can’t have people thinking HGJ is ok with having him as a concubine pretty much. But before he can act LWJ politely all but confirms that yeah, he’s tapping that, y’all wish you were but he doesn’t share and none of y’all are good enough for his Wei Ying anyway. CUE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM INDEED TRASH FOR THAT TROPE.
Muahahahaha y’all thought I was gonna devolve into my personal hcs and not include my fave trope? Shouldn’t y’all know me better by now?
(Btw I like this bit ^ so I might polish it a little and post it separately as well, just a warning if you find yourself reading an eerily similar post by me)
WuJi is playing and LWJ is pining so much. Also, if LWJ did not just realise that, just like Yu the Great, WWX had no other option but tame resentful energy I’ll eat my blanket.
I refuse to believe Jiang Yanli didn’t become the unofficial war camp therapist/sounding board/only sane person/everyone’s mum/I just need a hug and a corner to cry in peace. There are not enough fics about Shijie being her gentle BAMF self while in the camp and it’s a pity. My crops are dying y’all!
Also, I will fight anyone who scoffs at Shijie being the epitome of the “gentle woman who cooks and waits for the men to come back from war”. Look at her mum, do you think it is easy for a kid (she was a kid in the flashback when WWX ran away) to see that day in and day out, to have that as a “role model” and decide that she was not going to be like her mum? That she didn’t like what she saw in her so she was going to be kind and gentle? And do you think it is easy for a person barely in their twenties to deal with years of verbal and psychological abuse for again, being gentle and kind, and not grow a hard shell of bitterness to protect themselves? And to keep being gentle and kind while at war, with your parents dead and your siblings unraveling before your very eyes? Shijie is so fucking strong and I love her.
Hey look, the White Walkers!
“Resentful energy is just energy” ok, valid. But my dude, you’ve got black ghost smoke coming out of you and can hear people screaming in your head. I’m not saying it is evil, like someone’s uptight set in his ways arrogant uncle; but it sure as shit ain’t healthy.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s a Clown Cousin scream btw)
Ok ok, just one little thing: IF SOMEONE ELSE CALLS WWX WEI YING AS A SHOW OF DISRESPECT IMMA SCALP THEM.
...are those crows eating that man alive? Yikes on bikes.
(Assume my comment about YiBo’s Guqin playing also goes for Xiao Zhan and his flute. I can’t play the flute but the tempo doesn’t match his fingers)
I’m just gonna say it, I think 3zun (well, 2zun as of now) suspect shit went down badly for WWX, that’s two questions by both of them in a very soft conciliatory tone. They are genuinely interested/worried about the topic, and don’t seem to come off as chiding or judgemental. I mean WWX is a weirdo irreverent kid and they’re sect leaders, they outrank him so much it’s ridiculous. I’m also counting the fact that both their baby brothers like him towards them being so kind. But I also think WWX just triggers all their big brother instincts the second he walks in.
Oh there’s a thought, Shijie, Wen Qing, NMJ and LXC take a look at everyone’s shitty parents and just decide to adopt everyone.
What happened at Yiling was a traumatised teenager (is WWX even 20?) PTSDing all over the place with the Dark Side of the Force whispering in his ear and an all powerful trinket at his disposal. Not saying I approve of all the torture and murder but he clearly isn’t revelling in them.
That is some outstanding bit of big-brothering on LXC’s side and I love it. Also, my dumbass just realised LWJ probably wasn’t quoting WWX when he was being punished (what is white what is black?) I think he was quoting his big brother. Which is magnitudes deep too, but in a different direction and I might love that scene even more.
Ok fuck it, I’m gonna tangent. So I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 15-18. He alienated me from my friends, sunk my self-esteem to the molten core of the earth, tried to convince me my parents were abusive and encouraged (aka threatened manipulated and cajoled) the slow tanking of my high school marks. I have A Problem when I see media where someone latches onto their significant other and everything they are shifts towards that person. Now, love, true genuine love, is powerful, and I believe it can be the catalyst for shifting your world-view for the better. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with people sticking with their romantic partner if it is clear their previous “family” is so much shit. I don’t have a problem with LWJ coming out of his shell and defying corrupt precepts because his love for WWX made them see they were wrong, or getting sassy and unrepentant during his punishment (I have a problem with the punishment bc that’s abuse but...). But I do side-eye WangXian being the only thing in their orbit. People need people, and WangXian have other good people around them. So I kind of love that yes, WWX showed him the system was corrupt, but it is the words of his brother he is sticking by to the defy said system.
Let’s go back to our scheduled slew of held pinning glances shall we?
LXC after That awkward run-in: WangJi I wasn’t gone that long, what the fuck did you two oblivious pining idiots do?
(LXC has “bitching” tea sessions with Shijie and you can’t convince me otherwise)
LWJ: *is being dramatic and not knocking on WWX’s door*
Me: oh my god you fucking idiot
Shijie: *walks in*
Me: oh thank god someone with a braincell.
Ah yes, there we go triggering WWX’s paranoia again. Why would he get a break.
OH MY GOD YOU PAIR OF FUCKING IDIOTS. THATS IT, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT.
@ LWJ: bitch wtf was that? I know you’re shit at talking but have you thought about writing it down? Letters anyone? It worked for mr. Darcy.
(Yes LWJ is mr darcy and now I want an au where LWJ writes WWX letters and just pours everything in them, WWX finds them, any everything is sunshine and rainbows)
While this bullshit fight/misunderstanding is all on LWJ’s shoulders, I’m also going to scream at WWX. Because yes, he is in PTSD hell, but he trusted LWJ before, and yet he can’t get past his perceived notion of LWJ’s character (and his own inadequacies) to trust him again and ask for help. Plus, you know, he thinks he doesn’t deserve he’ll bc *waves hand at WWX’s trauma conga line*
These episodes can’t be good for my BP.
Thanks for reading!
#the untamed#cql#mdzs live action#mdzs#foxglove watches cql#foxglove watches the untamed#lan wangji#wei wuxian#wangxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#yunmeng trio#yunmeng siblings#commentary
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I finished Final Fantasy 7 Remake
Long story short, I loved it!! So much!! And there’s alot I wanna rant about so here we are. A review of sorts?? Major spoilers ahead!
And if y’all think you’re immune to spoilers because you played the original FF7, YOU ARE NOT. Lots of new stuff here....just warning y’all.
Although! I did find this great looking walkthrough playlist if anyone’s interested and can’t play the thing themselves? Idk how complete it is with the details, but from a glance it looks nice!
- FIRST OF ALL the music in it all is amazing!!! From the menu song all throughout, I got Emotional. All the rehashings of Aerith’s theme?? Tifa’s theme?? The FF7 main theme here are there?? AMAZING!!!! I need to find a tracklist or something there are so many versions of the songs specific to the scenes they played in and I die??? Man it is Good.
- On the music front, I really enjoyed the Jukebox feature! So they could add in old classic songs that story-wise couldn’t appear yet...good nostalgia there.
- Lil disclaimer, I played the original FF7 fairly recently, on Steam. HOWEVER. I played Crisis Core years ago, and watched Advent Children, etc. And Final Fantasy music has been a staple homework playlist for me for ages now.... So yes I’m new to the whole FF7 original story. But not new in how most people are...it’s a weird situation lol. Like I knew the general FF7 story for awhile but just recently filled the details....
- The gameplay is awesome!! I wasn’t great at it, but...tbh it felt like mechanics combo of the original FF7, FF15, annnnd Kingdom Hearts :D Also appreciated it PAUSED when you picked out commands lol. Loved upgrading weapons. Loved working with materia. I wish there were like...ways to save a materia set so you could easily switch over when your characters were switched out though X’’’’D
- Biggs is Aro/Ace
- Cloud is VERY Aro/Ace
- Tifa might be Ace
- I decided long ago (in my Crisis Core phase) that Sephiroth is Aro/Ace. There’s nothing to “prove it” in this game but I’m holding to it. I have claimed these characters askjdhuiwdhguerhgr
- Side note, slightly related, but I love how the relationships shone in this remake?? Lots of casual, comfortable touch with Tifa and Cloud (in which Cloud seems in general pretty touch averse due likely to Trauma) in a “we’ve known each other our whole lives” way and gosh I love them. Aerith with Cloud is adorable. Barret!!! Was characterized SO WELL here, and I love him way more than I ever did!! Barret and Tifa interactions as well were so heartfelt and wonderful aaaaaa how good
- Like...Barret haaaates Cloud in the beginning. But somewhere along the way he adopts Cloud instead and ain’t that fantastic?? He just can’t contain how much he cares about others and especially his daughter and goSH I love him.
- Aerith!! I love her!! She gave such a vibe that she knows more than she says, but is still so cute and sweet and sassy I LOVE!!!! Also that scene in the train graveyard with baby Aerith ;;~;;
- Also
Cloud: You need any help??
Aerith, climbing a ladder: I’m fine. You don’t need to treat me like a princess or anything~~~
*ladder breaks*
Aerith, completely serious: s h * t.
I LAUGH
- Cloud was actually really cute with kids!!!!!
- I think I saw a post where they talked about how much more consistent characterizations were here?? I have to agree. I feel some stuff was lost in translation while playing FF7 original, and it felt alot more put together, character-wise, here. I feel like some of that was learned from FF15 and its success with character relationships?? It was Good.
_ I rambled about this before, but Wall Market was every bit as embarrassing as you would think. *covers face*
- Also I thought it was interesting how they handled who was in your party when! A little annoying sometimes though, switching materia around!!! DX I also really wanted to actually PLAY Red XIII/Nanaki....but sure make him an NPC, whatever. (I am grateful he healed me often.)
- *me when Nanaki shows up* AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! THERE HE IS!!!!!!! (sidenote, in the original, I didn’t wanna call him by his experiment name. He’s the only character I changed the name of. The name I picked? Ignis. :”D )
- The motorcycle segments were ANNOYING AS HECK, especially that last one in escaping the Shinra building DX The game forced your camera to focus on the boss and that made the controls VERY ANNOYING. Cool to watch tho.
- I actually almost completed the game boss fight chain early last night!! But RIGHT when I got to Sephiroth, the family demanded I get off the TV for their use D: all that progress....I had to redo ALOT. DX
- STILL the fights were VERY cool! Reminded me of KHII end alot actually, jumping around on broken floating buildings and whatnot?? Also the creature looked like a HUGE DARKSIDE heartless lol
- There’s actually alot in this remake that gives alot of a KH feel to me?? Nomura I see you....
- *screeching the One Winged Angel theme still not knowing the words*
- I LOVED how they showed scenes of the future in the end?? Probably ripped from Advent Children, but?? The characters actually seeing that?? Going “this CAN’T be our future!!” Yo. Also it’s implied it might not HAPPEN now going against destiny and all. I know alot of people are pissed but I am EXCITED. I’m all for a fix-it fic game thank YOU.
- Speaking of fix-it: ZACK. ZAAAAAACK!!!!!! It’s implied he’s alive in one reality so WHERE IS HE??????? I’m so curious about this new story. I’m gonna eat up theories. I want!! To see!! My baby boy!!!!!! to be Fair (haha) I spoiled myself knowing he was in the game but I didn’t know WHEN!!!
- This is terrible, but I love how much they expressed how NOT OK Cloud is. His mental state is awful, but boi won’t talk about it.
- Like I know it’s in the original, but it comes up ALOT more in the remake, and the flashbacks/brain short out moments are more obvious in HD for sure. Plus Cloud’s eyes seem more green there, which is a great touch!! Also the incredible FORESHADOWING it brought. Love it. Please someone help this idiot with his headaches....
- I did get annoyed with the whole scene in Hojo’s lab. Cloud’s walking like a zombie toward where Jenova is, saying CONCERNING things, and NO ONE reaches out until he outright collapses? We all just gonna stand back and watch?? Sure ok.
- Hojo is absolutely disgusting and horrifying and exactly how I imagined him, creators did great job.
- Also why does no one use curaga in these character death scenes???? Potion? Anything????Hello??????
- I was so relieved Wedge (and one of his 3 cats) got to live, and then devastated when they chucked him out a window last minute ;;A;; still. I didn’t see a body. Maybe he’s ok.....*sobs*
- I WAS NOT EXPECTING BIGGS TO BE SEEN IN RECOVERY THO YEEEEESSSSS (I love ANY sign that they DID manage to change the future a little...I thought he was dead!!) Fun fact! The one part I legitimately started crying was when Biggs “died”! Hhhhhhhhhh
- Those dang dementors huh? X’’’D Whispers of fate...there to make sure the story goes according to the original game basically. Does that make the whispers the purist fans of FF7? ...please don’t kill me for that comment sidfiushguigerha
- I just wanna say making a game ABOUT making a remake (that is different from the original) and the struggles in that is VERY meta and so clever and delightful and I LOVE IT. I really wanna see what happens next....
All in all I spent 52 hours on this game. WAY more than I expected for only covering Midgar. And I ENJOYED it!! Some parts felt like the story was being dragged/padded, but most of the time I didn’t care. Also there’s even more to do?? Apparently I missed some scenes....I don’t have time for now, but maybe someday. Or maybe I’ll just look them up ;;7;;
It’s a good game y’all!!
#breezy babbles#breezy plays ffVII#ff7 remake spoilers#ffVIIr#ff7remake#final fantasy#ff#SPOILERS#but also a helpful link for those that can't get the game!#seems like a good video series of the playthrough#excuse me while I use tumblr as a journal and rant my thoughts#again#and claim characters to my ace headcanons lol#this is a good game and I'd highly recommend thank yoU#so many ideas to draw so little time
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58. Part 5
I walked off backstage and I don’t know why I did that, but I did, I hate speaking in public and shit like that just makes me want to run “you did so well!! Lorraine was stood here like I have his speech in my hand what the hell but I said he will be ok, you killed it and I am so happy for you” Ally spat and hugged me, I didn’t expect it but she did “thank you” I wasn’t sure if to hug her back but I did, it wasn’t so much of a awkward hug either but I didn’t want to make it awkward so I did it back “thank you, appreciate it. I appreciate my team so much, thank you” moving back from the hug to hug Lorraine “you are our pain in the ass Maurice, we work good together. So happy for you” Lorraine said “you all are like my backbone, I walk in and y’all are all on it straight away. No matter the issue, it’s been hard work but together we made it, thank you. You know I always reward you all” I breathed out “I am just so glad that is over, I am in shock still” I laughed blowing out air, I just need to breathe “you have always hated talking in public, you’re funny” Ally said “I do, but yeah. That is over now but I guess I got to start speaking to people here now, everything going ok though. Anything happening behind the scenes” opening my suit jacket “fine, everything is going great. I sent Malik the video of you saying about him, you said you wanted that. But all is well, you have gained a lot of followers too, Robyn has seen the most increase though” rubbing the top of my head “that is good, well I will be around so please contact me if you need anything. I better go back out there” I rushed here for no reason; I was probably just rushing out but let me get back out there to my family. Stepping out from the back, seeing my dad and Robyn talking with Reign. Why is my daughter feeling the need to take my dad’ walking stick, it makes me laugh how she attacks that thing “hey! Stop that” I said, Reign looked at me and then continued to tug at it “baby, you did so well” Robyn hugged me “did I? I was sweating, I was so nervous saying all of that but it came from the top of my head, I hope I made you all happy” squeezing Robyn close “you did, I was emotional you saying that to me. I better be your best friend” I chuckled “you are, I love you” pressing a kiss to Robyn’ shoulder, I love this woman so much.
Touching Robyn’ hand because I felt like it “you are my angel, I will buy you a stick to play with ok?” my dad said to Reign, she walked off and then turned back around and lifted her arms up “me?” my dad said “you want him to pick you up?” I said to Reign, T came out of nowhere and picked Reign up, his big self scares me “do you want to sit down and pick her?” I said to my dad “no, I can do it. I can do it for her” holding his stick as my dad picked Reign “you look handsome” Robyn said, “you like my suit?” I grinned “I like you” she pointed at me “I will take this” T said taking the stick from me “oh you want to touch my glasses and my grey beard, you are taking privileges. You want to take everything from me” I love seeing my dad with Reign, he is so into her “Maurice” looking behind me “oh hey” turning to Terry “you got me emotional, my makeup. Wow, I did not expect that from you” I chuckled “well it’s true” licking my lips laughing, Terry grabbed my hands holding them in hers “you have been such a blessing to me, you have been the best son in law to me. You have cared for me, shown me that you would love my daughter with your whole heart. To hear those words out of your mouth, woo chile. I am not going to cry again” Terry said “I am not but, thank you. You have always had your door open for me in your life, in your home. You have opened doors for me to expose the truth I always wanted to say, you have been the rock to my daughter through this so thank you. Sorry” Terry said, she is emotional “don’t cry” I laughed as I hugged her “you are a great person, I am glad I met you” she is so sweet “if I had a son, it would be just like you” she said and that really hit me, that so sweet “Terry, man. That is so sweet” she is such a sweet woman. Moving back from the hug with my arm around her “you’re a mess mom” Robyn said “oh be quiet, that was sweet” looking over at Reign, she has her arms wrapped around my dad’ neck, she loves him “niece, how you get this rich man?” Robyn’ aunt is funny.
I feel there is a lot of hate in the air, I am just going stay in the corner with my family and let people have a good time. We are waiting for the tables to be set out so we can eat and then party and go home, so this reception area part is a little enclosed. You know what I had a random flashback to when Tiffany tried to come at Robyn that time, shit was so crazy then “say hi daddy” looking at my dad “where did you two go? Why does have juice on her dress, dad” touching Reign’ face “she wanted juice, I gave her juice. You get what you want don’t you” I mean her dress is a mess thanks to my dad “well dad, you need to be careful. She even ruined your suit too. Wait till your mom sees this” she won’t be happy like me, Reign whined out turning her face away from me because she knows I am not happy “dad, you’re letting her get away with it. She has ruined her dress and the day is not even over, that is bad” I sound like Robyn right now “well get a new dress on her Maurice, she wanted juice so I gave it her, you don’t listen to your dad. I will give you it, if you need hugs I am here too” Reign is so moody with me now, she is only listening to my dad “like these chips she has in her hands, dad. Stop ruining her dinner too” my dad is laughing “she has two whole fists full because she wanted it” Reign grinned at my dad “Adam, I love you. He freshened me up” Robyn said with Adam, they are linking arms “can he freshen up your daughter then” I pointed, Robyn looked at Reign “oh my god, what happened?” see, I knew that would be her reaction “she wanted some chips and juice” my dad said “oh that is going to stain” Adam said “I am not going to say a word because not today but that is a no, no negativity” my dad laughed “I will get you a new dress, granddad did bad Reign. I will buy not one, not two, not three but four dresses!” my dad said holding his hand up, Reign giggled hitting his hand away “I will go shopping for you, I have never been shopping for a lady. Not a little lady like you but angel, you will get it. So you both can stop judging the mess” rolling my eyes at my dad “I think Maurice wants a dress too” Robyn poked my side, she is teasing me “jealous ass” Robyn hugged me.
Stuffing my hands in my pockets seeing Kellen and his dad walk over to us “keeping a low profile nephew” smiling at Kellen “better that way, once we go inside then it’s different” Kellen’ dad raised his glass “to my nephew, for taking the business away from the family. To showing the world he is about himself, if you think I am going to let some little bastard take over without a fight! You got another shit storm coming” I knew he was angry “don’t you speak on my son like that!” my dad spoke up “don’t have another heart attack Marquis and shut up! You wanted to murder Maurice for getting a woman pregnant, no girls you said!” he pointed at my dad “my granddaughter is here, she can feel your negativity, stop this now! Stop now or be thrown out, my son wants what he wants and if my angel Reign is to be the next on that throne then she will be! You walk away now, or be thrown out” I didn’t even need to say anything, my dad told it all “go on then, run along” I said laughing “I am sorry” Kellen said “don’t say sorry to them!” his dad barked “but I am, this is bullshit. Trying to play us all off on each other, shit is old now dad” Kellen walked off with his dad, he can argue with him “Maurice, this battle is far from over you do know that. I don’t want you to be blind to this at all, they will push and push and push at you. I just want you to be ready for it, but I hope my angel didn’t heart those nasty words now. It’s ok, I am protecting you” nodding my head as I looked around just to see what is happening and what Robyn is up too, she is talking to Bey which I love to see, she is really getting in there with the Carters.
“You can now enter!” someone announced, they took their time “come here Mi Amor” taking Reign from my dad “let’s go and eat baby” Reign started attacking my face, she is a mess “hey, stop placing saliva all on my face” moving my head back while walking towards Robyn “ouch” Reign started to grab my ear “hello brother Maurice” seeing the Saudi prince with his entourage “my brother, so good to see you” shaking his hand “my brother it is good to see you, to see how much you have grown. Your daughter she is big now” I laughed moving back “she is getting there, you know what. I am so happy to see you come here for me, you don’t travel for anyone” I chuckled, he really doesn’t “I see you as family, I see a big future for us in business. I want my kids, your kids we unite. We create a big empire” looking at Reign “you hear that, he wants to build an empire. You know it means a lot to me, you think of the future and you include me. Now that it’s official in the eyes of the people, I will have to do a little tour and I expect fireworks for when I come to Dubai, you know how it is” I know he will for me “you get anything, you bring princess we have party. We will speak more inside my brother” nodding my head moving to the side to let them go by “it’s the huncho himself, look at him” Jay Z said pointing at me “nigga be quiet, I have been in the corner hiding. I am done with seeing everyone’s face right now” Jay Z dapped me “we have decided to go on a family holiday once this is over, this is Robyn’ idea. Not mine” shaking my head smiling “did she really? I see how it is, planning without me now. Anyways, I need Robyn. You can have her after” I need to speak to her for a moment.
Terry took Reign with her while I speak to Robyn “just wanted to see if you are ok, you seem to be venturing around. Is everyone being ok with you?” moving some hair away from Robyn’ shoulder “that is so sweet, but I am ok, just trying to be nice. To be the wifey and saying hi to everyone. I feel like your female cousins if they are even that. They don’t like me, I am not sure if they are your cousins but they seem to be floating around that side” furrowing my eyebrows “who don’t like my Bonita, tell me now” wrapping my arms around Robyn “tell me who don’t like you, point them out” Robyn giggled wrapping her arms around my neck “who cares for them baby, they just hate you because you are beautiful with brains, don’t mind any female” pressing kisses to Robyn’ shoulder “also” moving my head back “Kellen’ dad tried to come at me, he was saying how much he hates me pretty much. My dad was angry and started saying how dare you say this in front of Reign and all that. So yes, that happened, is baby number two ok? Just be careful, I don’t trust people and it just reminded me of that time with Tiffany when she tried to attack you. Stay close to me” Robyn poked her lips out at me “you are so cute, but I need to venture out and get to know these people, even if they don’t like me. I am super proud of you though” pecking Robyn’ lips.
I feel like the first lady, I really do. I am sat on the table with billionaires. I am just trying to take this in, but it’s amazing how I feel right now. I been like a queen just sitting here but you can see the small detail to where they like to have their male orientated groups, no females around but here I am with my man at the table with Marquis and some other CEO’s Maurice told me about but I don’t remember what he said, it’s slightly boring but it’s about business and I should take interest but I can’t, my mind shut off “Robbie, I wanted to ask. When would you like me to take Reign home, she is going to start being all annoyed” turning in my seat to face Reign “she is already feeling it, you all warm baby” touching her forehead, Reign is busy playing with a balloon “let’s take your shoes off baby, cool you down. It has been a big day for her, all that walking too. After this I guess, I don’t think she will last for the party, I don’t want her getting all upset either” placing her shoe on the table “is she ok?” Marquis asked “oh yes, she is all hot. All that walking around” my mom said “my little angel has been the best dressed today, she has been such a good girl” Marquis is forever complimenting Reign when her ass has been screaming at everything “eewww smelly feet” I said to Reign, she looked at me “oohhh” she said giggling “no, you got eewww feet” hopefully this cools her down “are you coming back to the home though? I want you to rest too, you said you have been feeling tired” my mom said concerned “I know, my anaemia kicking in, not shocked but I won’t be long after you. Just need to be here for Maurice” I am going to try and make it for the rest of the night, Maurice is drinking but I am not going to ruin his day by pointing out something he knows.
I had a slight feeling Reign would play up, it’s very late and I am not surprised, she would not let my mom sit in the car with her so I am just sat in the SUV feeding Reign her bottle “you know I would have taken her if she didn’t kick off” my mother said, looking down at Reign drinking her milk while still fighting her sleep “it’s ok mom, I don’t blame you. I don’t want her to be all stressed, but once she sleeps then she will be fine. Jay will go with you, I just want to go back in. Maurice was drinking, and drinking. He drinks a lot, but I didn’t run his day mother, I was quiet about it but I didn’t want him to drink but he has, he will be a nightmare soon, probably is now. I will see if we can make it back to the house but it is a drive and it may be better to just go to the hotel, but I will keep in contact with you” my mom pushed my hair back “they have done such a good job on your makeup, it has not moved at all. They have done so good; I am so happy for you both. I just hope tonight ends on a high, just be good and think of you. Maurice is intoxicated. Marquis has gone home. You need to stay close to the people that like you, and you know that not many Davenports do, just steer clear of trouble. You know how that people are going home, why don’t Jay go with you” shaking my head “no, I want you both to have him to get home ok. Lenny is here, it will be ok” smiling at my mom, she worries too much.
Waving my mom off in the SUV, Reign is asleep so that is some peace for her. Jay said that Lenny is around but let me go back inside, I have been out there for an hour so I can only guess what state Maurice is in or even the rest of the people. Walking up the steps in a huff, tomorrow I need to get some tablets for my anaemia because this is playing up once again, but I am catching it before anything escalates. Walking back into the building, I can hear Sean Paul, Maurice has of course people performing “Miss Robyn!” looking to the side of me “I was waiting for you to come in, where are we going?” Lenny said “just going inside, it’s ok honestly. Have fun” I waved him off, he really doesn’t need to follow me at all. Walking into the hall, it’s very lit right now “hey, it was so nice to meet you” seeing this girl say “It’s Mila” letting out an oh “oh yes, it was nice to meet you too” she is with the very girls that was playing in my face with looks “I was saying to Maurice, I don’t know if he paid attention, I hope he brings you Texas. We all love to get to know you, he really loves you. It’s good to see that but it was good to see you, I have to go now” nodding my head as I waved at her, I ended up giving an evil glare back to the very girls that was doing it to me, shaking my head sighing out “huh” feeling a hand on my arm “just one of many Robyn” stepping back as Joy came out of nowhere “don’t you have anything better to do then watch me?” I am bored of her now “Maurice isn’t watching you is he? He’s drunk, he’s always looked to other women for a mother figure. You will see the real truth Robyn, if he doesn’t destroy your soul then that family will. You will end up needing to be a bitch or they will step on you. No matter how much you claim to not want the money or you not about the money, that family will be after you. Remember my words, they will kill for money that you have. They are smiling in your face but Robyn they hate you” she is trying to scare me “how many people they going to kill? Me, my daughter, Maurice and baby number two? We have bodyguards living with us, you act like I should be scared. I’m not, just don’t fuck with my family, I will fuck you over Joy, keep playing on my family. I told Maurice to get what is his, it’s me behind everything and it’s me sitting next to my man, where was you? Your evil heart is going to have you put out like a dog, you are not a mother. When my kids ask where is grandma, I will tell them she is Spain. You out here looking sad and alone, all you needed to do was be a mother, that is how easy it was. And don’t worry, Malik will be ok. I will show him love” walking off, I am about sick of that bitch.
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It’s in the Little Things
Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Reader
Warning: Fluff, pure fluff, and mention of heartbreak
A/N: This will be the first of five pieces I am doing for Bug’s 100 follower challenge (or @1000roughdrafts if y’all didn’t know)! Again, congrats on reaching 100 and can’t wait to watch you grow even more darling! Hope you enjoy what I post in honor of your celebration! Prompt will be in bold. Of course, this is done for purely fiction purpose only. Much love and respect to the Padalecki family.
Six months.
It took six months for Jared to make a small crack at the wall around your heart. When you got the job at the Family Business Beer Company, your best friend almost had a heart attack. She was a huge fan of the show, Supernatural, and made you watch all 13 seasons. You thought it was a good show but nothing to make you go hoopla like her. Even your boss, Danneel Ackles, had asked first and foremost if you were a fan of the show. But you made it clear you were there to work, proving it when Jensen came in one day and all you did was greet him, moving back quickly to continue cleaning the counter. It was when he returned a few months later while on hiatus that you met Jared Padalecki.
He really was a gentle giant like your best friend said. After a quick ‘hello’ and handshake, you couldn’t help but admire his wide smile. Made you wish you could smile like him. All carefree and without a second thought. He would come in almost every day to hang out with your bosses, behaving childlike when he was bored. Whenever fans would come in, you would watch how he and Jensen would willingly take pictures and sign things for them, thank them for coming by and to enjoy the place. Every fan would tell you how lucky you were to work there. But luck wasn’t in your vocabulary.
Well, not at first.
“Hey, (Y/N),” Danneel said as you counted the register for the night. “We are throwing a barbecue at my place tomorrow, maybe take a boat out on the river behind the house. You are welcome to join us.”
“Umm, I think it would be best for me to catch up on some stuff I need to do since it’s an off day.”
“C’mon (Y/N), you have been working here for the past six months and have yet to attend to one of our get-togethers. Just come by for an hour or two and enjoy the company a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive! Jay and I would love to have you over. The kids have been dying to show you their rooms and…Jared will be there,” Danneel said that last part playfully.
“Would be nice to see the kids…”
Danneel sighed and patted you on the shoulder.
“Tomorrow at four, ok. Don’t forget your bathing suit either.”
====================
When you arrived at the Ackles home, it didn’t really surprise you how big and beautiful their home was. They immediately welcomed you into their home, JJ and the twins guiding you around as they gave you a tour. You couldn’t help but feel how homely it was, reminding you of the days back when you still lived at home with your parents. Jensen and Danneel were out on the patio cooking while you played with the kids in the living room. You enjoyed spending time with them, growing to love them very quickly. That’s when you all heard a knock at the door. JJ ran towards it, you get up to follow the child to watch her. When you reached the front door, you watch as Jared lifts little JJ in his arms and twirls her in the air, her screams of joy causing you to smile.
“You really do know how to smile.”
You shook your head quickly to stop from smiling.
“No, no, don’t stop because I noticed. It’s just, I never got to see you smile. Danneel was right, you do have a beautiful smile.”
You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips, couldn’t ignore how hot your face was turning. It wasn’t just the words, it was the look in his eyes, something in them was telling you how honest he was being. You watched as he let JJ go, her running back inside as you stood there, a bit in shock still. Jared closed the door behind him and walked up to you, smiling his typical childlike smile and looked down, brushing his hair behind his ear.
“Mr. Padalecki…”
“What have I told you about calling me that?”
“Umm…Jar…Jared. I do smile.”
“Yeah, but it’s never really genuine. Danneel brags about how you and the kids get along and that she gets to see a real smile from you with them. Glad I finally got to witness it in person.”
“In…person?”
Jared then took his phone out of his pocket and fooled with it for a few seconds. He then turned the screen towards you and your eyes grew wide in shock. There, on the screen, was an image of you with the children in the back area of the brewery, Zeppelin on your back as the girls ran behind you. You could see the wide smile on your face, how much joy was there. You looked up at Jared and he locked his phone and placed it back into his pocket.
“Danneel sent it to Jensen and I got him to send it to me. Just, really loved how happy you look in it,” he whispered as he looked down to his feet. “Pretty girl like you should smile like that every second of the day.”
And that moment, you felt the small crack against the wall you built around your heart.
====================
“Wait, so Jared invited you to Vancouver?”
“Well, Danneel and the kids are going, and she knows the only traveling I’ve done is my move to Austin…”
“BUT JARED ASKED YOU RIGHT?!”
You winced at your best friend as she screamed through your headphones. You were packing a small bag for the weekend trip up to Vancouver. You had to call her to calm your nerves about the trip.
“Yeah but like I said…”
“Oh, bestie! Do you have any idea how lucky you are! Not only have you been welcomed into the Ackles family, but you are traveling to visit the set of the show AND getting a personal tour by none other than JARED FREAKING PADALECKI!”
“It’s nothing special…”
“How is it not…you do realize ever since he convinced you to exchange numbers you two have been in contact nonstop? And when he travels back home, where and who does he spend most of his time with?”
“We are just friends.”
“You might see it as just friends, but he has to want more.”
You winced again and pulling your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms tight around them. Your best friend watched via camera your reaction and sighed.
“You can’t let the past dictate your future. You even left your hometown to get away from it all.”
“I know but it’s still hard, after everything it’s still hard,” you whispered into the mic.
“Yet when you talk about those text and phone calls, I see a crack of a smile.”
You couldn’t help the small smile that came out.
“See, plus he has been very patient with you. He doesn’t push, and he has done so much to show you really does care.”
You deviated the conversation quickly with talk of the trip, your best friend making you promise to get as many pictures as you could, before ending the video call. As you closed your laptop, you thought back on her words.
‘You can’t let the past dictate your future.’
You knew she was right. The past was the past, but you couldn’t help holding on to that fear, the fear of another heartbreak. You swore to protect your heart after picking up the pieces, building a reinforced concrete wall around it. But little by little, Jared had chipped off pieces of that wall. You did your best to cover up the cracks and missing pieces, but Jared had made his mark.
His kind words, his way of trusting you with things he wouldn’t tell anyone else. He would spend hours at the brewery, keeping you company when he was in Austin. Eventually, when you gave in to hanging out, he took you around Austin and showed you his favorite places in the city during one of his breaks. He would share his favorite books with you when he found out you loved to read and read the ones you favored. He always paid attention to the smallest details of your conversations. He even sent you flowers and your favorite cake for your birthday while he was out in Vancouver shooting.
And he never missed a day to call you. You would wake up to a good morning text and fall asleep to the sound of his voice on the other end of your cell phone. No matter how much you tried to deny it, Jared had won you over little by little. And even though you loved the butterflies in your stomach every time you heard his voice or looked into his eyes, that underlining fear would bubble right up.
====================
The flight to Vancouver was a bit stressful, it is your second time on a plane. But Danneel and the kids were the perfect distraction. When the four of you made it to Vancouver, there was a big man waiting outside. Danneel introduced him as Clif, the guys' bodyguard and best friend. He made the ride to the apartment fun by giving you a chance to sightsee during the ride. Once you at the apartment, he helped bring up the luggage to Jensen’s apartment and let you and Danneel know the guys would be home in an hour and would have the weekend off as promised. As you began to unpack in the guest room, Danneel came in with two glasses of red wine, handing one to you.
“Here is to a safe trip and fun times in Vancouver.”
The clinking of the glass made you giggle before taking a sip.
“So, what are the plans with Jared? He did beg me to hire a babysitter if Jensen and I wanted to go out so as not to ask you.”
“Not sure, he just said he would handle everything.”
“Oooh, are things moving up the ladder?”
You smiled and lightly punched Danneel on her arm, causing a laugh out of her.
“I’m not sure. We are great friends and I honestly don’t want to mess that up.”
“Hmm, well I can clearly say Jared wants more than friendship. But knowing him, he will take what he can get.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, if you make it clear you only want to be friends, he won’t cross any lines even if he wants to. He is never one to push, that’s for sure.”
You nodded as you took another sip of wine. Danneel was right, Jared never pushed for anything, more so taking his time.
“Just, remember, you aren’t the only one with feelings in the mix here. Be clear with him and trust me, he will understand.”
You nodded, sucking your lips in as Danneel smiled at you. She patted your shoulder and walked out of the guest room, leaving you to your thoughts. You wondered, how serious was Jared about wanting more? And would he really understand your hesitation?
====================
Your weekend in Vancouver was the best time. The moment the guys got home on Friday, Jared took you out to dinner. Nothing fancy, just a quick meal at a burger place he loved. You both sat there for hours, just talking and eating. Before you knew it, the place was closing for the night. You were so surprised how time flew by with just you two talking. Instead of taking you somewhere else, Jared took you back to the apartment, wishing you sweet dreams at the door. He tried to move in for a hug, but as usual, you backed away slightly. You hated yourself for doing that, but like always, Jared just smiled away and bid you goodnight, heading to the elevator to go up to his place.
That night you went to bed mentally slapping yourself for not even able to give him a hug.
Saturday was a fun day. Jared took you to bike riding in Stanley Park to enjoy a nice breakfast at a small café. Later you went to the Museum of Anthropology where you spent a couple of hours just looking and admiring. Then, he took you onto the set where all the filming happened. He showed you each set from the show and even let you take a few pictures for your best friend to send to her. He even dragged you to his trailer, which made your mouth drop from the size of it.
“This is huge for a trailer,” you gasped.
“If we have long days of shooting, we will sleep here so they got us ones that we felt comfortable in.”
For lunch, he took you to an Italian restaurant on Commercial drive. And after that straight to the aquarium. You both looked in awe at the sea animals and fishes the aquarium had. He laughed along with you as you told him the story of how every time your parents took you to the aquarium when you were small, that you would run up to one of the workers and ask where the octopus was. After the aquarium, he took you to dinner at this restaurant close to the apartment. Again, you both sat there for hours, laughing, talking and eating. It was two in the morning when you made it back to the apartment and he bid you goodnight. He never made a move to hug you, but the urge to hug him was inside you. Instead, you let him walk away and headed inside, shutting the door quietly to not wake everyone up.
Sunday was barbecue day with the Ackles and Jared. A few other folks from the show were there as well. Jared introduced you to everyone and suck to your side, knowing how nervous you got meeting new people. But you had fun, doing your best to be friendly and joke along with everyone. The food was delicious, and, in the end, you and Jared got stuck with cleaning the dishes as everyone relaxed after the meal. It was almost sunset when Jared asked you if you would go with him to the roof. You said yes and you both snuck out of the apartment like children, taking the elevator up to the top floor to then reach the door to the rooftop. Once you were both up there, you sat down on the cement roofing to watch the sunset, admiring the beauty in silence.
Once the sun had set, and the night sky began to shine with stars, Jared spoke up.
“(Y/N), I want to tell you something, something I can’t hold back anymore.”
You took in a breath, not able to look at him as your heart began to beat fast.
“I… ever since I met you, life has seemed better, brighter even. Getting to know you this past year, it’s been the greatest moments of my life. And, you make me feel like... like I can hope for a better future, a future I can share with someone.”
“Jared…”
“I just want you to know, no matter what, I won’t force you into accepting my feelings. I just want you to know that I’ve fallen in love with you.”
You kept quiet for a few minutes, processing what he just said.
“(Y/N)? Are you okay?”
You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them, going into your cocoon.
“(Y/N), if it’s too much, we can just be frie…”
“Did Danneel ever tell you why I moved to Austin?”
“No, she never wanted to say.”
You took in a shuddering breath before you started.
“I was engaged to be married before my move. Was with him for almost eight years when he proposed. Wedding plans were made, and I even bought my dress. I was madly in love with him and trusted him with my heart. I thought everything was right in life. But the night before our wedding, he ran off with someone else, leaving a note behind how he was only settling with me because he felt too comfortable. That I was safe.”
You heard Jared gasp, making you continue.
“I was safe, and he was never in love with me. He fell out of love years ago but only tolerated because he didn’t want to hurt me. But after he proposed, he met someone else and felt like he was doing wrong by marrying me since he fell for her. But he didn’t know how to tell me he wanted to end things. So, when it was the day before our wedding, he panicked and ran. His letter was his way of letting me down easy.”
“How could he…?”
“Oh, that’s not it. Two weeks after our wedding got called off, his parents were throwing him and that girl a wedding. They had only known each other for a couple of months and felt so sure of her that he married her. He married her, the girl that he loved, not tolerated. I spent eight years with that man and all I had to show was a canceled wedding and an invitation thrown in my face.”
“He sent you an invite?”
You could hear the anger in Jared’s voice.
“Not only an invite, but he was also asking me to be his fiancée’s maid of honor. That I could help out planning it all since I knew everything about putting up a wedding.”
“That ass…”
“Yeah, and since my hometown is on the small side, I was on the rumor mill for weeks afterward. The girl that lost her man to some random. So, I moved, went to Austin since it was far and quiet. Once Danneel gave me the job, she asked me why I moved there, and I spilled, thinking she should know at least the truth so she wouldn’t think I was some fangirl.”
“I am so sorry about what happened, (Y/N),” Jared whispered. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to get involved with someone. Don’t worry, we can act like this never happened and stay friends.”
“But that’s the thing, Jared, I don’t want to be just friends.”
You turned to face Jared, your eyes were watery with tears.
“I have always had trust issues ever since, putting up a wall so as not to get hurt again. It sucks but I felt it was the best way to protect myself, to not feel the pain I felt. Learning how to trust someone is the hardest thing I’d ever have to do, but with you… you’ve made it so easy.”
Jared’s eyes grew wide as he looked into yours. You reached out and grabbed hold of his hand, tightly.
“Ever since that day you showed me that picture Danneel sent you, you have been chipping away at my wall. And no matter how many times I tried to repair it, you would come right back and remove more. Every little thing you did, each precious moment chipped away at that wall. You showed me that maybe, I can throw myself out there again, to trust again. I know it won’t be easy, but I have to try. And if it’s with you, then maybe the jump won’t be so bad.”
Jared grabbed both your hands and looked you dead in the eye, his shining so bright with love.
“You can jump because I will be there to catch you. I know it will take me a bit to prove myself to you, but I promise my love for you is real and I will do everything in my power to never hurt you to that capacity. Yeah, it’s a bit fast to say this, but I can’t see myself spending my life with anyone else but you. I hope one day you will come to see that truth.”
At his words, you smiled brightly, feeling the wall crumble down to reveal your heart. You knew the risks of putting yourself out there, but something inside you made it clear, this time, you would fall in the arms of the right person. You leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips, chaste and sweet which he responded to. Once you pulled away, you pulled your hands out of his and wrapped them around him in a hug, molding your body into his. He wrapped his arms around you, his face pressing into the crook of your neck.
“I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered into your skin.
“And I love you, Jared.”
Tags:
@coffee-obsessed-writer @tumbler-tidbits
#spn#spn fanfic#supernatural#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural rpf#rpf#jared padalecki#jared padalecki x reader#jared x you#jared padalecki x you#jared x reader#spn fluff#bugstitlechallenge
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meet ASTRID NILSSEN, the twenty three year old waitress who moved to dayton three months ago. she’s known as playful & selfish in equal parts. astrid uses she/her pronouns & identifies as bisexual.
hello all !! i’m tea, and i’m in the discord chat if y’all wanna plot or talk !! astrid and i are excited to be here !! sorry this got a lil long. hopefully it’s okay kjgsfgs
i do have severe rape trigger, so while we’re all adults here, please warn me before mentioning and/or refrain from going into detail about plots involving these things so i can manage my shit, you know? you do you, but i also do me, and i just don’t have enough booze to field a panic attack today fgkdfgsg
otherwise pls hit me up and plot. i’m a shy person but if you want plots, i’ll bust my booty to get em for you : ‘)
* / intro. 💋
name: astrid nilssen
nicknames: n/a, but if someone gave her one she’d fucking melt
age, bday: 23, june 7th
zodiac: gemini
sexuality: bisexual, no preference
gender: female, using she/her pronouns
character traits: flighty, playful, aggressive, intelligent, creative, ambitious, spoiled, selfish
alignment: chaotic neutral, esfp, slytherin
* / past. 💋
tw verbal abuse, age gap, abortion
born in europe from a loveless marriage between a well-bred british socialite and the young heir of an american corporate dynasty, astrid spent most of her life jumping between boarding schools and holidays foisted off on either set of grandparents
all this served to do was isolate her more: she couldn’t fit in with european girls, and she wasn’t familiar enough with america to fit in there either. the isolation grew.
her grandparents didn’t love her any more than her parents did – old money with old values, they ridiculed her for being not skinny enough, too skinny, not pretty enough, too girlish, too stupid, too smart – nothing she did was enough… nothing she did would ever be enough
their constant demanding and belittling left astrid bitter, tired and constantly trying to do better, so much so that it was exhausting, and she felt like she was tiptoeing over glass
she hardly ever saw her parents, let alone saw them within the same room as one another – and quickly she learned that the easiest way to get positive attention was to demand it. she grew from acting out in class to shoplifting to getting high during the school days
each time she got a final warning from yet another school, her parents would show up, lavish her in gifts to bribe her into obeisance, and for once astrid would feel loved
it escalated and escalated, however, as astrid started pushing further and further in order to earn what she craved, the attention & validation from her family that drove her to just about every extreme she could think of
so it’s no wonder that astrid, a narcissistic little daredevil, fell in love with the first person that showed her the attention she craved. within six months she was devoted to her partner: a much older, and much more controlling person than she’d ever imagined herself with.
it lost its shine, however, when astrid found out she was pregnant just after turning twenty two. she panicked. she knew somewhere in her that she could not trust her partner to take care of her, and she knew that she could not be, and desperately didn’t want to be, a mother.
so she got an abortion. to hide it from her controlling parents, she bought herself expensive trinkets and sold them at pawn shops, and afterwards, nothing felt the same.
it opened her eyes -- and, after withdrawing several thousand dollars from her trust fund, she disappeared and left home to find a future in dayton.
* / present. 💋
of course her parents keep tabs on her: she sees familiar faces lurking outside her apartment almost daily. still, no one has harassed her yet, and at the moment that’s all she can hope for.
although starting fresh and without a constant family fortune to guide her, so far she’s found working to be mostly agreeable. she waits tables at a little dive club in dayton, using her girlish charm to wiggle tips out of even the most tight-fingered bastard
she’s still selfish and wild, difficult to control, and interested in little else but her next thrill. hell only accentuated her headstrong unruliness, and this is sure to be a problem for her.
muleheaded and relentless, when she gets her teeth in something and decides she likes it, it’s almost impossible to get her to let go.
still, one can earn a semblance of comfort and friendship with her, as much as any narcissist can offer; she’s endlessly loyal to those who earn it, and although her capacity for true effortless kindness has never been nurtured, she makes a needy, protective and attentive friend
* / specific wanted plots. 💋
an old and familiar friend — she leads an isolating life, though somehow has found a relic of her tumultuous past. this person knew her as a spoiled little rich girl, and knows her now adjusting to hard work and the realities of life as an average person - open to any gender
a mentor — rarely does astrid trust anyone with asking for advice and help in her life. still, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has been raised in a guilded cage: she has to open up to someone and ask what the fuck she’s supposed to do with her taxes. this person is the most trusted friend and ally she has, and the only person who has so far been allowed to see that she really is still just a scared little girl in need of attention - open to any gender, though preferably a little older / more experienced in life than she is
* / plot ideas. 💋
sexual
i’m open to literally anything .... the standard fwb, hookups & one night stands
ppl who want a tiny, angry girl to boss them around idk
u need a wlw eightball? astrid is here to help
u need a third to spice things up with ur girl? astrid is here to help
someone she’s uhhh trading favors with cause she’s got Ambition and one of them is a lot of money of her own
romantic
hedonism is her jam so there’s only a few of these i’m putting down
although yooo imagine the drama if someone objectively better than her did catch her eye.... nice
unrequited crush — someone astrid caught feelings for and knows they don’t feel the same. she’s trying to work through it, but this person gives her butterflies, she can’t help it. highly undignified for her. wtf is this feeling, get it away from her - /lays down reverse card — someone who wants some angst in the form of unrequited feelings for a tiny brat. unwise, but it happens
break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored — a friend to whom astrid played side-chick while they figured out shit with their girl... then made the mistake of getting attached. it’s going to end terribly, she knows, but why not enjoy it while it lasts?
platonic
other people who work in the service industry like a co-workers / boss (still deciding where she works, so if ur muse needs an employee hmu ok), people she’s met at a bar, people she’s known for years somehow, etc.
yin to yang ; someone who is calm and shy, matching astrid’s small, fight-me, wild child energy and balancing her out. astrid’s not sure what she should do with them, but also can’t stop bothering them
heart-to-heart friend ; someone who sees through all of astrid bullshit, aggression and drama and sees that even through the dramatic haze of brattiness and selfishness , she’s genuinely fuckin... sad underneath it all. they don’t take her shit and coax honesty out of her
ex roommate ; someone whose couch she crashed on when she first arrived, before she got herself her own place. she probably didn’t really ask before deciding she was staying with them and tbh prob was annoying as hell. so it could be a fun connection
negative ; someone who hates her and has tried to fuck her shit up, someone she’s had a falling out with, someone she was Too Mean To, someone she plays mean pranks on, someone who annoys the shit out of her, oo even an ex could exist.... idk fuck me up fam
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53. Part 3
Cassius eventually drifted off, he didn’t speak to me at all. He just slowly drifted off to sleep and I am just happy he is asleep, I want him to rest and heal, I want him to heal so we can just move on from this. Looking down at him, imagine if I lost him, imagine if I couldn’t see him ever again. I thank god he bought him back to me, he was there for me with what happened and never once looked at me different and I will do that for him, he thinks that he has done bad and I will think differently of him but I don’t, I honestly don’t. This whole thing that has happened has helped deal with this, Amira has really helped but I know how to deal with it. I have to remember how he was holding me down when everything came back on me about my family, even the fact I got abused. He didn’t change on me at all, he loved me even more and held me down, so I will do the same until we are old. I can’t wait to start my future with him, I have finally accepted this. I wanted him to leave that life but I will not pressure him into doing it, I don’t want to add to his pain of pleasing me “hello” Amira said outside the door and knocked on the door “are y’all naked?” I just laughed “come in” I said aloud, Cassius ain’t about to wake up for nothing so it’s ok “sorry” Amira said in a whisper “he is not settling” seeing Cartier’ grumpy face, I knew it “great, neither of the two are, I mean I got him settled” Amira cooed out “look at him, you busy though. I can just like walk around with him” slowly moving my body away from Cassius “it’s ok, he won’t settle. I assumed he would sleep, I think he has a little colic, not too much” sitting up on the bed “least he is asleep, I mean Cassius. You both ok? You both spoke?” nodding my head “we did” taking Cartier from Amira “he’s very emotional but all is well, we still have things to speak on but right now I just want him to sleep and rest up” cradling Cartier in my arms and he would cry with me “grumpy, I will just feed him and he should fall asleep, thank you though. Good night” Amira smiled at me.
Cartier is really playing up with me “ok so you don’t want bottle and you don’t want breast, what is it?” Cartier just cried out again “ok, ok” placing his pacifier in his mouth, he can suck on that but not milk. I don’t like he is not drinking either, he didn’t drink much earlier either. Placing Cartier onto his stomach “I don’t like this baby boy, you need to drink your milk” rubbing his back lightly, I am not sure at all. He has been like this at home too and I think it’s me, maybe it’s because I am stressing so he don’t want it “sorry” Amira said walking in “heard him crying still, is he not well?” I shrugged not knowing “like he’s been like this at home, you and I both know this but he seems to not want it even more” he’s not feeding as he should “I am thinking of going taking him to A and E, it’s just worrying that he is not feeding as much, am I doing too much? Just tell me” Amira eye balled me “as a mother, you know” she said “true, I don’t feel it’s right. I am going to take him, I need to rest my mind. You know he don’t drink all of his bottle as much. He’s grumpy as anything and don’t sleep like he does” getting up from the bed “I will come with you” Amira said.
I am just concerned, I don’t have a mother to run too, I thought I had Monique but no, I know girls run to their mothers but I don’t have that and I am not sure if I am going wrong “is he ok?” Kyle asked “yeah, I mean I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to worry but it’s just don’t feel right with the feeding and then sleeping, I need someone that knows you know. I don’t have the knowledge, when Cassisu does wake up please tell him it’s ok. I will be back, no need to worry” Kyle nodded his head “Fabien is going with you guys, no questioning this” oh god, these big guys will be with us “erm, does he speak?” I am confused, they don’t say much “he is the same one that picked me up, he will just drag me again?” Kyle laughed “nah, he won’t. He was ordered too, look I will stay here and wait for whenever Cassius wakes up but Fabien is going, he does speak. Just he likes to put in work and not have too much play. I hope he is ok” I think Cartier is ok, just I need help in if I am doing right. I am scared that my son is not drinking what he needs “y’all got your things. Let’s go” Amira held the baby bag for me and my bag, she is the best “yes let’s go” following behind Kyle “these guys are big though, are they trained killers?” Amira asked a good question “I think so, I didn’t really ask Cassius this but yeah” knowing these guys they are.
Fabien looked at us “come to think of it, he looks Italian, he cute” Amira said in a whisper “he is, it’s weird because he held me. Like the way he picked me up was nothing, so I know he got strength” Amira whistled “what are you whistling at?” Kyle said as he made his way back to us “nothing at all, so can we go now boss?” Amira and Kyle are so cute, I love them together “yes you can, lady boss” I cooed out at them “anyways, call me if you need anything ok? Take care, bye little man. Hope you get better” Cartier is not asleep, he is just resting his head on my shoulder “Fabien, you got a big job here. All times, you hear me” I wonder what Kyle meant by that, there is another guy here and he just didn’t look our way “that is us then” Fabien walked ahead of us, Amira and I slowly walked “why are you like this?” she is giggling “it’s just funny, be quiet” she lightly hit my arm “this life, it’s just weird at times” she ain’t wrong there.
It’s a weird to wait in this hospital, with this huge guy, he cleared most people off to not sit near us “so your name is Fabien, cute” Amira has started, while she is doing that I am attempting to feed him again by bottle of course “thank you” he got a cute accent “no problemo amigo” what is wrong with her, placing the bottle between his lips “he may drink” but he does this all of the time and then moves his head, like he doesn’t want it but I know his feed “that is good” Amira touched his head, Cartier did what I knew he would. He turned his head is disgust and then cried out “ok, ok” moving the bottle back, he cries like I am forcing his ass “here” Amira took the bottle from me “ok Cartier, sorry I tried” placing him over my shoulder, he is just not having this at all. Rubbing his back “ok baby boy, it’s ok” rubbing his back as he cried out “I think it’s best you did come, I mean he is just getting worse with it” don’t I know it, I knew he was.
Cartier is screaming this room down, like I hate it so much that he is feeling like this. Did I do something, is it me “does he bring some milk back up at all?” the doctor asked, I poked my lips out at tears coming out of my sons eyes, this is hurting me “Miss Bundy” I did hear him “uhm yeah, sorry. No he doesn’t bring any back up recently” the doctor nodded his head and went back to touching Cartier’ stomach, I feel so awful that my baby is going through this “is he pain? Is this my fault?” Why is he not saying anything “no, I don’t want you to worry thinking it is. Cartier is a little unsettled” he said, my baby is having a meltdown crying “you can pick him up” I rushed to Cartier “I am so sorry, I am here” holding him close to me over my shoulder, closing my eyes as I did. Placing my hand over his head “I know baby” this is hurting me so much that it’s making me emotional “he’s got acid reflux, instead of vomiting the milk out he’s keeping it and it’s going back down his throat and burning him, so he’s reluctant in having milk because it hurts him which you won’t know this as a mother, but he is fine and healthy, some colic but he’s fine. We will give him some medication to soothe it for him, and then for you to give him before feeding” nodding my head as I rocked Cartier in my arms, my poor baby.
Putting Cartier shoes back on “I can’t imagine how hard it is as a mother to see your baby in pain and stressed” Amira said, looking over at Amira “it’s hard, got me crying. I would give my life to him, I nearly died to give birth to him, he means a lot to me. He is mine, it’s hard Amira. And to know he was in pain, I hate it. It’s like I failed him” Amira rubbed my back “you wasn’t to know, stop it. We just need to get back to normal now ok?” nodding my head, the doctor came back into the room “if you would like to lay him down, just need to give him some medication, soothe his stomach” nodding my head as I got up, Cartier is going to cry out and I don’t want him crying in pain. Laying him down “so we will give this him orally, through a syringe with him laying down ok?” nodding my head, Cartier is all quiet, I am staying very close to him. Cartier held my finger so tightly “I am here baby boy, it’s ok” I smiled at him “take his pacifier out, I measured it right for you. You can do it and I will watch ok?” nodding my head, taking his pacifier out, Cartier is not letting my finger go but he is watching me very close “he does drink but then rejects it” I said, Cartier is not stupid he knows something is different “that is good, he trusts you. He knows his mom, so just place the tip in his mouth and he will take it” I just want this over with, placing the tip near his lips. My little heart is just staring at me, I just put the medication straight away in his mouth and he did take it “my big boy, you my big boy aren’t you” my love for him is eternal, god I love my son so much.
I am so tired, imagine having to sit in A and E and then Cartier crying through it all. It was so stressful, the sun is rising and Cartier is still awake but I need to settle him, I really want to go back home. That is what I need to do “good to be back at the hotel, thank you so much for coming with me Amira. I appreciate you so much, I am supposed to see my friends but I can’t, I am so tired from everything, I need to go home. It is time to go home” Amira opened the hotel room door “I want my damn bed too” the door got dragged open “Sofia!?” Cassius spat, I did hope he was asleep still “I am back, it’s fine” Cassius is not happy, I did tell Amira to ignore his calls because I knew he would go crazy on me “why didn’t you wake me? My son went to the hospital, what the hell?” walking into the room “yes, I am back” Cassius walked around me “let me see the boy, is he ok? Are you ok?” he asked him “he just had, well has acid reflux but I got him medication. I didn’t want to worry you, honestly wanted you to not worry” Cassius is touching Cartier’ forehead like this changed anything “worry? This is my son, like fuck anything else. That is my boy, I should have been there, and you ignored my calls” I am honestly so tired to be listening to this, I need a nap or something before I end up crying for nothing.
Cartier is not crying with Cassius, he held him while I got his bottle so I am hoping that he don’t cry so here we go. Climbing onto the bed “he knows me, you know me don’t you” resting my back against the headboard “is that daddy, you missed him didn’t you” Cartier gave a slight smirk, I can take he is happy with that “so what did they say? You good yeah?” I shrugged “it’s whatever, they said it’s not something I could really know but I still feel I am useless that I didn’t know or pick up on it, I don’t know. It’s just something I feel” passing the bottle to Cassius, he can feed him “I don’t think you should feel that, you did what you need too right? You are a great mother Sofia, and you are a great wife to me” so he says “I just really want to go back home now Cassius, we both need to get back to normal” Cassius nodded his head “how are you feeling? Sorry I couldn’t hold you all of that time” Cassius smiled at me lightly “I am ok, still a lot to take in but I was so much more concerned about Cartier, I was ready to go there but Kyle told me to relax. He is my everything, like you are so I got scared and I hate feeling like that” Looking over at Cassius “don’t be scared” I said lowly, Cassius bought his head closer to mine and pecked my lips.
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Eat, Pray, Love...In China??
2018 was a rough year for me!
My final year in University began in Fall 2017 with a study abroad semester in Spain. Within the first few weeks of my study abroad my then boyfriend and I had broken up. Having previously gone through many breakups with him throughout the years, this was nothing new. That is to say, I was fine with everything, and I was in a really good place in my life.
Spain was a magical time and experience for me. I fell in love with the country. I fell in love with the fact that all my academics were in a foreign language that I knew well. And most of all I loved my beautiful and wonderful host families with their beautiful and wonderful children!
Gosh! I can’t wait to live there one day (because it’s gonna happen)!
After my long-time boyfriend and I broke up sometime after my birthday, I reminded myself that I was living in Madrid and should not let this rain cloud ruin such a wonderful life opportunity.
Therefore I rallied. I began using my time to focus on myself and continued to develop my language skills. Beautiful Spanish city, with beautiful Spaniards? There was nothing else to do but live my best life.
But I also used this time to focus on getting back to myself and learning how to be alone again. Exploring different parts of Madrid, making new friends and eating tortilla española with a good book on every terraza possible were how most of my days went. I got back to being the happy, care-free, stress-free me that I lost for a very long time.
I felt happy. And light.
And then….the bullshit.
I returned to my University campus in January of 2018. My school was a small, predominantly white liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere. As this was my last semester in school I just wanted to eat my fruits, drink my water, go to the gym, and mind my business!
But upon my return the happy and carefree me struggled with maintaining my happy. School work always provided a way for me to drown out the trash happening around me and just focus on concrete things. But, alas, it was my senior year so my course load was the lightest it had ever been. I couldn’t drown out the bullshit.
Upon my return I was immediately welcomed back with open arms from people I knew. They were quick to ask me about my time abroad and how great it was. Ya know. The usual talk. Then it quickly turned into questions about my relationship. Kinda went like this:
They: “So are you guys still together?”
Me: “Nah. Didn’t work out. Ya know. Shit happens.”
They: “Oh girl. Sorry to hear that but you’re better off.”
Me: “….I mean it wasn’t a bad split….why am I better off?”
They: “Well you know cause you deserve better. Especially after what happened over the summer.”
Me: “….Summer?���
They: “Oh you know last summer when he was here.”
Me: “….Over summer?”
*Just for clarification: Ex-bae was a year ahead of me so he graduated May 2017. So this refers to Summer 2017*
And it’s clear from this conversation that the proverbial tea was spilled. Cold tea for them. Scalding hot—burn your tongue cause ya drank it too fast—tea for me.
Here it was I was hearing so much SHIT (ALL THE SCANDALS! OK?) about him that all these people—people who loved chilling, and hanging out with me, who had the AUDACITY to call themselves my friends and smile up in my face!—knew whatever they knew for MONTHS (SHIIDD maybe even YEARS) and no one told me shit.
LOL Ain’t that some shit?
Anyway.
Needless to say that it was a very dark semester for me. Spiralling from shock. Confronting said ex-bae and still not getting any solid answers. (Sometimes ya just don’t need closure!) Not knowing whom to trust.
I cut a lot of people off that year! If you used to say Hello to that young man you were out!
Lol kidding… maybe…
ANYWAY!
The worst thing about it was that I saw myself turning into a person I did not like very much. There were months where everyday I would wake up in some combination of pissed off and sad. The light, care-free me from Spain was no where to be found. Which made me even more pissed off and sad because I was in a seriously good place before I went back to that Blackhole of a University.
But like a worker bee, I had to keep moving forward. Grad school applications were either in progress or submitted so at least I had that to look forward to right? I would be onto a new future soon right?…….RIGHT?!
Haha…
I was the type of person who always had a plan. Then a back-up plan. Then a back-up to the back-up. And as a last resort an emergency or exit strategy. So grad school was always the #1 plan for me after graduation.
LOL So funny.
EVERY. SINGLE. SCHOOL. Rejected me. Except 1 program at this amazing school, but that was my Safety Programme. But in those weeks I saw my top plan drifting off in the wind, taking what little sanity I had with it. *eye twitch*
So onto The Back-up Plan right? Right. Grad school wasn’t an option for this year. So that presented an opportunity for me to go out there and get some work experience. As an international student with an F-1 visa I could apply for OPT and work in America for a year. Ok. Cool. That was the new plan. Great.
Haha. I spent MONTHS applying for every job out there. Undergoing multiple job interviews over these months. Passing many rounds. But never got a single job offer. Haha what a time.
Thus, when graduation approached I was happy to be leaving the Sinking Ship that was my University days. Honestly I wanted to run away. If you spoke to me in those days I would tell you that changing my name and moving to a foreign country where no one knows you is a form of self-care. I stand by that.
But I needed to get away from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that I knew. With going back home to The Bahamas as my emergency/exit strategy, I wasn’t too happy with that plan. I wasn’t done with the world, although the world was showing me that it was done with me.
But before graduation came an interesting opportunity to teach English for a year in China. China rang bells in my head because it was literally so far from everyone I knew. This was going to be my new fresh start. I would know nobody and nothing. Not even Chinese, because I studied Spanish and Italian for the last 4 years.
Thus, having The Discussion with my family led to many blank stares and confusion on their part. My mother would come to me every few hours just to make sure.
Mum: “China?! What in China you wan see?”
Me: “I just need to go far for a bit…”
Mum: “But China? What about Spain? You did like Spain!”
Me: “Not far enough.”
Brother: “What you tryna run away from? Come tell ya brother. Cause I need to understand!”
Me: “ *laughing tryna hold back tears* Gee y’all. I am a world traveller! Why I can’t go to China?”
Mum: “Cause it so far! Who you know over there? He (Ex-bae) hurt you that bad that you wan go that far?”
Me: “Yes! Gee! Let me just run away in peace! Y’all lucky ine dropping off the planet! China is happening ok??!”
Brother: “…well make sure they don’t steal ya passport please…”
This exact conversation happened literally almost everyday over the summer months.
But I would not be deterred! This was my chance to get back to myself; to find myself once again. Cause this new, unfamiliar Reese was not working for me. This was my fresh start.
As my brother would put it: “You tryna be on ya Eat, Pray, Love tip aye?”
Basically yeah.
So this is some background on how/why this blog was created. Or how/why I ended up in China.
This blog is going to be about my new travel/life experiences, as I go about trying to get back to Me.
So cheers to getting lost!
XOXO
Lil Reesey
P.S. Whoever put Obeah on my 2018 or whoever playing with my voodoo doll…Can ya ease up and let me live for a bit? Thanks!
#ReeseGotLost#LostInTranslation#ReeseGotTheJuice#WheresReese#Travel#Lifestyle#Mood#BigMood#ReeseBoughtACamera#ReeseGetsLost#BlackGirlInChina#BlackGrilMagic
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Episode 1: “...too early to be shady?”-Ryan
There....are so many men and I'm overwhelmed. Also Keaton shading me during his intro is a whole ass mood
I’m so excited to be playing with majority of this cast... too early to be shady?
Oooooooofffff what the hell did I just get myself into. Julian’s here. He always finds some fucking way i swear to god... and then there’s Keaton who i pissed off in a prior BB game... which literally ended like 3 days ago for me.... and then i ahve Andreas form Kuang Si and Billy from IdlM.... what the fuck is wrong with my life right now I mean...... i’ll figure this out, let me stop having a heart attack right now
I am SO OVERWHELMED right now! All these messages from people that I think hate me, this is going to be fun! As of right now I'm most nervous about Sarah because I LOVE talking to her, she's so easy to talk to but we always do each other wrong and have never made it far together in anything SO yeah. I'm really hoping that I get on a tribe where I connect with a majority and/or two of them don't like each other so I'm not the first to go! I guess it's time to now... go and be social haha!
When did talking to people become so hard??? Idk if it's because I've been away kind of for awhile and not talking to people but I feel like I'm the most boring person in the world AHHH. Hopefully things get better soon. I'm about to ignore that annoying red number two by the skype icon and play the game for a bit to maybe give me something to talk about with these people!!
http://atleastyoumadejury.tumblr.com/post/182902334923 That’s me in this challenge.
First night = first opinions! Let's go. -called isaac immediately to form a bond with him. He seems super stoked to have me in the season and we agreed to form a f2 deal. Honestly he is funny, adorable and iconic so I am not mad if I go to f2 with him. I will be loyal to him as long as I know he is loyal to me -mark is very social and I know he uses this to his advantage. Every cute thing he is saying, he is definitely saying to the other players -I can easily bond with basically everyone on this season so I feel like this is going somewhere. I can tell ppl are liking me so honestly I am fucking excited to play --went on a one world call with ryan, tom, madison, dani, isaac and myself and they are cool af. I know ryan and tom used to work together from the beginning of mykonos so I am kinda scared they are a definite power duo. Tom has already proven to be a good player in terms of strength and I can tell hes strategic. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE HIS #1 SO I WILL WORK ON IT. fuck I need to get on his good side to get far. i can tell. I just dont want him to screw me over - Junior is playing and I guess he is the shadiest person in the game? SO I will be on the lookout for that. -Ruthie needs to leave. -Keaton hates madison so I can use that to my advantage somehow ? well see. -I am going to continue to talk and be social but honestly I dont want to give away too much. Im back after a year so I hope I can go far this time. Fingers crossed
I’ve smelled some fake shit before, but nothing quite as fake as Ryan trying to squash the beef with me. I’m flutter my lashes and play stupid for a while, but in all honesty, I want him gone as early as possible. I don’t trust him, at all. Also, Dan is sneaky as fuck. So I don’t trust him either. Plus I’ve hosted him and I know he’s only in it for himself. He’s vote himself out if it meant he’d win the game. But then there’s Mark, who has played with and been burned by both Ryan and Dan. Between the three of them I’m just not feeling him. I don’t want to be his demise, but I wouldn’t be sad to use him to kill the other two then dump him before he gets farther than me. Kill three birds with Mark’s stone. As for y’all hosts, thanks for dumping me with Madison, Joey and Keaton. Who will keep me around just as a number. They think I’m stupid and I have no idea what I’m doing. Same goes with Brandon. Like I love “OH MY GOD HEWWO”ing my friends. Another main, another season where I’ll just do whatever I can to make it far. Here’s to a good season.
VL Confessional: This is my greatest chance to FINALLY make an impact on Tumblr Survivor. The minute I was casted, my ranking average went up. What I want to do this season is to take advantage of the time that I have. I want to do well, I want to finally prove how good I CAN be. This is my opportunity to bond with a ton of other players, and I’m READY FOR IT. My mood rn: https://youtu.be/roJ5NSfmxvs
I feel like this game is lowkey a test of Madison and I’s relationship...
VL CONFESSIONAL I’m sitting here on my couch watching the TV They’re picking all the numbers of my favorite lottery I am so excited when fortune calls I’ve never been so happy with someone picking my balls.
Oh god, I shouldn't write any of those weird and unsettling oneliners that I have in mind right now, so.... Hello! Just hello! I'm back for another Tumblr Survivor fun time and I have no idea what to expect from myself for this season. Will I have motivation? HELL YEAH! Will I have the time to back it up? NOPE!!! So... let's start with a little cast assessment, shall we? I already know that I am lucky to have LUCY around, because I know her from another community. That being said, she is a great player, so if she is active this time around, she'll definitely make it further than last time... So far though, it doesn't look like that... :sadface: I am also THRILLED to see RUTHIE playing. I love her, and we only got to play once (in a BB game that ended after 2 weeks) and I happy to see her and I really hope we can work together this season!!! I have mixed feelings about MARK and BRANDAN rn, because I've played in TS with them previously. I pissed off Brandan a lot in Kuang Si when I told him that I wanted him out. I hope he's gotten over that, but I feel like he's not the type of person to forget. But I think he'll be willing to give playing with me another try, but he'll keep me on a short leash. Mark, I voted off in Flops, and then I flipped him to vote for me in the worst FTC of TS history. But the guy is strongheaded and idk how well I can work with that. I've had great conversations with TOM and KEVIN and I feel like they're people I can talk to a lot more, and maybe build a relationship with. I had some decent chats with SARAH, DANIELLE, ISAAC and MADISON. I can't place them yet, but I think I can get along with them. I got off the wrong foot with ISAIAH and RYAN a little, but they seem fun and I can see myself working with them in the future. Or maybe I am just imagining things here? Who knows.... KEATON, JOEY and BILLY, I tried talking to, but I am really not sure yet if we're on the same wavelength. But they seem active enough and open, and it's not even been a day yet. ;) JUNIOR, DAN, JAKE and JULIAN, I haven't spoken with at all so far. rip? --- Let me tell you that I really like it being 4 Tribes of 5 to start the season off (at least that's what it looks like). I don't care too much about being a top-placing player here. I don't think I'd be immediately at the bottom right off the bat, so I don't need that unneccessary potential challenge threat target right away. I think I've spoken to enough people and got a little bit of that Andreas personality across, so I at least have a foot in peoples doors, you know? Let's see how things shake up! I am confident for starters, but that's the point of it, isn't it?
I’ve only talked game with a few people which kinda scares me. I also think a lot of this cast has previous relationships and I only know like 2 people. I love Isaac, Jake, Ryan, and Mark. I need to start socializing more.
hellurrrrr we're back and better than ever! first tumblr org since like... July so I'm feeling pretty rusty. Thankfully I have a couple familiar faces in this cast so I'm not too nervous. I was pretty excited to see Dani cast... we literally went to middle school together LOL. I want to keep that a secret, but Joey already knows because Dani has her location set to my city UGH. So now I gotta hope that Joey doesn't blow that cover. I know Kevin from Zwooper but idk how loyal he actually will be to me. I know Dan, Ruthie, Isaac and Madison from previous games but I don't think we worked well together in them so whoops. RYAN is here which I'm excited for. I want to work with him, he seems sweet. I also know Sarah because she made Eddie cry so I already love ha. But Eddie told me she's crazy in games so maybe I should tread carefull with her for now. I think everyone else is a fresh face to me? So this should be interesting. Half of them haven't even added me yet though so they need to step their pussies up. I'm here to win since that's the only placement I could get that will beat my last placement LOL. But I'm not trying to let an ORG make me go cray cray like Crossroads did... but it probably will <3
Ok, so. This whole picking tribes thing, has just got to go. I have multiple people telling me they are putting me first and although I love being first for once, this might not be the best thing for my game. If a random person I haven’t played with picks me, that looks shady. If one of my MANY previous allies picks me, that looks shady. Oh and there’s that thing where Billy and I squashed beef, and hopefully that can stay because I don’t need a giant target on my back for billy being my only enemy in all of the games I’ve ever played. If this tribe swap is 4 tribes of 5 then I need to make sure my people pick wisely and make sure that they have the 3 they need to keep a majority. The only issue with that, is I’m essentially in the middle of 5 groups: Mykonos, Bermuda, Unova (Pacific Island), Guyana, and then anyone I haven’t played. Take the union of those sets and you have the entire cast Manhattan Beach (yes I did just use math language, no I am not ashamed).
Imma make Jake think im his bitch. “Oh Jake, ill vote out my best friend, and someone who I respect as a host to boost your ego!”
Alright, Day 1 is nearing its end and I've made some progress I feel? So to get right to it: I've spoken a bunch with Danielle and Kevin and they've spoken a lot with each other too, so we're trying to get together on a tribe of 3. The plan right now is to hopefully get one of us in the top 4 (me), I pick Kevin, Kevin picks Danielle, and we've got an easy majority if it's tribes of 5. Now, we don't know if we actually split up in 4 of 5, or 2 of 10, or 4 of 5 but we have Tribal Councils with 2 tribes together. It's impossible to call right now. As a small addition to my first confessional, some final cast assessments: JUNIOR: A very friendly guy. I feel like he's genuine, but he's definitely VERY friendly, and I am not used to that level of friendliness in TS. But I think we good rn DAN: We spoke about Germany and that's about it. We have a little basis. JAKE: We spoke a little about politics, so at least we spoke and have a basis. Not much more than that. JULIAN: Dude... you seem so nice, but you are giving off no confidence in yourself. I don't have much more to say than that right now. I fear that he'll be used as a number by someone rn --- I got some good chats with KEATON and ISAAC going. And that's about it! I hope that I get put on a tribe with KEVIN, DANI, LUCY, RUTHIE, TOM, KEATON... and maybe SARAH. Just bring on the tribes, so I can finally start playing this game. One World is too big for me.
I'm pretty confident with my score for this challenge, I think it's enough to at least show my future tribe that I can do my part in the challenges, and hopefully I get somewhat of a say in who will be on my tribe. For my social game, I'm definitely planning to use me being the first boot on Guyana to my advantage. I've heard from Andreas and checked a bit as well that there's some fierce competition in this cast, and I think I can slide by for quite a while as long as I make some good connections. I know Dani, Andreas and Ryan from outside of this season, and those will be some people I could rely on from the beginning (not sure about Ryan though for that one since we don't know each other that well). Also I don't know what it is about Ruthie, but she seems so sweet and I'd love to get to work with her further down the line.
I love my tribe so much! It is PERFECT! Literally they are all people that I've talked to since the game started and I don't have any issues with any of them. I'm really glad especially that Andreas is on my team and I think that all in all we will have a strong tribe going forward! I don't want to get too cocky but I do feel confident in my position on this tribe! Nowwww if only we can win and stay away from tribal council!
Honestly, what is wrong with me? Another main season and it's One World? Negative. This is how I will die. I would rather eat glass than have to fucking message 25 people I don't care about. On another note, I love my tribe high key. Aesthetically, we're a really great looking tribe. We could all be models tbh. We all get along really well so if we go to tribal, I'll probably just tell everyone to vote me out, for my mental health and theirs hahahaha save them the trouble. Nah, jk I'll fight, but I don't want to think about like voting any of them out? I def feel closest to Mark, but I really enjoy Dani and Ryan's banter. Junior is so cute too ugh haha. I'm just happy I'm not with the other ugly asses on other tribes
ugh i hate doing these things but im gonna try and be better if i flop this season im deleting skype tbh. This cast is going to give me a solid chance to go deep i feel like. Ryan Billy Dan all want to be my F2, madison is close with me, dani and sarah have both expressed interest in going deep together tribes were picked and holy frick is this tribe incredible. Ryan and Dan and Dani all were in my top 5 of who i wanted to be in a tribe with and junior is actually dope as fuck. i just hope we dont lose and have to vote someone out. especially the first round bc junior is safe so id have to decide between dan dani and ryan and id probably self vote if that was the case
So now I’m like 200% not even gonna try to work with Mark or Dan or Ryan. They’re all on the same tribe. Which means they’re gonna make a final three and that’s something I don’t want to be anywhere near. That’s a dumpster fire that I do not want to be a part of. What sucks even more is, Mark told me I was number one of his list. But Dan was picked by him before I was. So clearly he lied to me. But to add insult to injury, I was picked last for a tribe. So I was literally no one’s number 1. So that sucks, a lot. I guess that’s a fun way to start the season. “Way to go! No one likes you enough to be your #1!” Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. It just makes me have the “anyone but me” mindset even more than I already have.
Hello new tribe. I am content with the outcome. On one hand, it sucks that I ended in 5th or 6th place, but on the other hand, the draft was rather revealing. I planned to pick KEVIN while he picks DANI, but Dani is soo fucking popular, that she was the absolute first pick - and then she picked Ryan over both Kevin and I. That definitely alerts me, but oh well, I don't blame her or anyone, she's lovely. I am happy that I wasn't the last pick of my tribe, because that would have sucked a lot. Instead, I get to be around BRANDAN, who I actually want to work together with for the time being. RUTHIE picked me, which I am really grateful for, but there is no guaranteed to know how far up I actually was on her list, but at least 6 others were behind me. Now I picked LUCY. Which is a good thing. She rocks at challenges. But she's definitely on the bottom of the totem pole here. I would prefer to vote out JULIAN first if we ever go to TC as this tribe, but for that, Ruthie needs to like Lucy more than the guy who picked her... Either way, let's win challenges somehow and not worry about that. The people I care for should be okay..? Dani will be safe. JUNIOR will be safe by default. Orange tribe will be fun to watch, because I care about everyone but BILLY on there (sorry honey). I am actually scared for my #1 Kevin rn, because JOEY and MADISON are together, which is scary, and neither of them picked him... So he could go first :( Either way, I need to stay on Brandans good side and I need to build up a strong bond with Ruthie, so I can keep Lucy around...
VL CONFESSIONAL HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NVGHHYGCSZAAAWSDDXF I’M SAFEEEEEEEEEE. I’m honestly so happy about it. I gave it my all and I’m honestly shook. And then I realized Madison and I are on the same tribe... Welcome to the plotline of the season.
I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
VL CONFESSIONAL So yeah for this challenge [email protected] is taken. Fun.
I'm not really sure how I stand with my tribe. Currently my main connection is Andreas, but I know I can't just rely on him. He was picked before I was and he could easily just let me go if I'm in the way of him getting to the first tribe swap. We seem to be doing well in the challenge, and I hope we do win. I personally at least kind of feel like the outsider, and I don't know the connections the others have with one another, so hopefully this gives me time to build a connection with them before we go to tribal.
alright so first off, fuck y’all for giving us this challenge. you’re gonna make me sit here all day reblogging a post because i’m competitive, but we’re probably going to lose because my tribe sucks. like i was the only one doing it for 2 hours. kill me. let’s talk about my tribe real quick. i think kevin is genuinely with me with is good. but when i got put on this tribe, dan messaged me saying that joey, madison, and isaiah are a friend group. i knew that joey and madison were “dating”, but the isaiah thing worries me because if it’s true, then um they have the majority. i’m trying to stay close with joey too since we played zwooper together before. i just really need to bank that him and Kevin would stick with me over the others if we go to tribal. um but i wish i was on a tribe with my same city sister, dani, or with Ryan. let me just say something about Ryan... yo why he gotta do me like this? when i saw ryan in this cast i thought omg that’s the cute ryan but he probably won’t pay me much attention... flash forward to last night when we ditched the main call to call one on one and basically called all night. ummm, are we about to have a survivor showmance? probably not, boys like to ghost me all the time so i don’t expect much but that boy is about to have me WHIPPED i just know it. anyways let’s hope i don’t lose the first challenge because i literally ALWAYS go to tribal first in orgs
YAY! My tribe pulled out a win. I wish we would have gotten an idol clue but a win is a win and I will take it!! In all honesty it seems like Brandan, Andreas and I did all the work, but maybe Julian and Lucy did things too and just weren't... vocal about it. Lucy has talked to me one on one a bit but I don't know if she knows what she's doing haha. As for Julian, I really like him but he's been SO quiet, not talking in the tribe chat and not being very talkative via PM so we'll see. Right now I feel the closest with Brandan and Andreas and I hope that the three of us can maybe form some kind of alliance. I really hope that Kevin and Jake will be safe! I like Madison and Isasiah (I spent five minutes trying to remember how to spell that name and I still can't get it GRR) but I haven't talked to them as much as the others. I guess we'll see what happens haha!
so julian can talk in the one world but not our tribe chat... interesting... although i can't talk. i BARELY ever talk in the one world aSLFJLSF
Well we came in first for the first challenge! I tried sooooo hard and I have never reblogged so much in my entire life. The tribe that came in last has two of my allies on it and I’m pretty sure they are in the minority. Madison, joey, and isiah have an alliance apparently. But Jake did tell me that Joey came to him and wanted to get Isaiah out. I really hope he isn’t fucking with him because I need Jake and Kevin to stay in the game!! So far I really love my tribe. I wouldn’t even know who to get rid of if it came down to it. I think Dans the least person I’ve talked to on my tribe. I should probably keep talking to people who aren’t on my tribe aside from jake/Kevin/Tom/Sarah. And I should probably start talking strategy but I like where I am so far social wise.
My tribe is so fucking united it’s scary. We all just gel really well and literally called for an obscene amount of time this weekend. I really love Dani, we haven’t connected too much in pms yet, but she gives off such good vibes. I feel like she’s definitely a social threat, but maybe by aligning with her she can bring up my social game a little. I desperately need to talk to more than just my tribe mates, but honestly the only other person who attempts to talk to me is Tom, and he’s just kind of forward and weird. Like he asked to share idol clues and I was like....okay sis out of the blue. Idk just seems kinda shady. Pennekamp, or as I like to call them Pasta tribe, losing is honestly my kink. I really hope that someone from the friend group goes home, but honestly it might be Jake or Kevin going. Madison and Joey are for sure an alliance bc of hos22, and then I know Isaiah is friends with Madison bc she was talking about him on call one day in another game, so. Let’s hope one of them flips and one of those 3 gets the damn boot.
Being on the Robinson Riptides tribe is lit af. Why? Mark and I are on the same tribe, so I have my number one, and then Dani picked me and I know she is a close ally as well. Plus now that we won the first challenge, Junior does not have immunity in the next round and in the event we go to tribal next round, he would be my first target on our tribe. I like Dan, but def not someone I want to take deep in the game, seems like a large threat. Who knows, could easily use him for a number. Also, I love Tom. I am so happy he is back with me in this game after playing in Mykonos. I don't think people understand how close we are, and I want to down play that as much as possible. He is my secret go to persona and I'm going to keep that hush hush for now. We are trying to get our sides to merge into an alliance while the one world business is still going on. Goal: Tom gets Sarah to want to make a chat with either myself, Dani, or Mark. And if this happens, then we have five people with great connections outside but also people I would want to work with for this portion of the game. Also, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THIS IDOL CLUE BEING USELESS AF? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN? LIKE ACTUALLY EXPLAIN? HOW IS THIS CLUE SUPPOSE TO HELP ME? CUZ IT DOES NOT!
Yay, Immunity. The Pacific Panthers are so boring as a tribe. The chat is dead. Is it because of timezones? Is it because of age diversity? This tribe has it all! Lucy is still new to TS, Ruthie is busy most of the time when I'm around. Brandan and I don't mean too well rn.... And Julian? He is wearing Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility! Either way, I hope Kevin survives F20 TC, as he is a valuable pawn and friend to me already. I'd expect Isaiah to go here, even if Madison might be the smartest move, but it's too early for big moves I feel. See ya next round!
Okay this game is NOT back to basics Johnny, it's back to hell. Schoolyard pick tribes, messy players, ONE WORLD, it's just an absolute cluster truck. I'm doing well for myself though. Getting 4th gave me the opportunity to set myself up well with Sarah and getting lucky with Billy should make me safe on this small tribe for awhile. How I'm not happy to see Madison here though. I'm afraid there's going to be a gun pointed at me by her the entire time, so I'm thinking I'll be forced to go after her before anyone else when given the opportunity. I just have to keep conversation high, keep game level talk at a medium, and eventually get taken out by an idol/twist
https://youtu.be/wpsiisk5lQQ
So big surprise, I'm going to tribal first. Joey is getting on my nerves idk why he even signs up for these games if he's always working but anyways. He's safe so I have to play the role of the devoted housewife to save face. As of now the vote is on Isaiah which sucks because he is definitely an ally for me, but at the end of the day our tribe and the game in general needs strength and commitment. Ugh why must my tribe be so iconic.
OK SOOOOOOO Basically my paranoid ass has convinced myself I’m going home already, but let me walk you through why SO Isaiah is just super inactive, not to the point where he is NEVER here but just considerably less when comparing him to myself or others and so me jake Madison and joey all talked among ourselves and in various 1 on 1 and came to the conclusion we are voting him out, ALLEGEDLY! but ever since this tribe started the rumor of Madison Joey and Isaiah being friends has been brought up SO many times so that is just engrained in my head, now I’m probably over thinking this part but it makes sense to me, if Isaiah purposefully was being less responsive to provoke the instinct in me and Jake to vote him out, perhaps he has an idol or perhaps he is just fine being the decoy vote among the three and it helps that friend group manage the votes if they know who/how we are voting and it makes me and jake feel “safe” which could lead to the not playing of an idol SHOULD either of us have one and get suspicious. THEN after we have this “set” plan I guess Isaiah told Madison that he was voting for Jake, and Madison told him to continue the lie of being open and honest to the 2 of us so we don’t suspect anything, now if he WERE voting Jake and Jake had an idol I think he’d be impulsive and paranoid (like me) enough to play it and THEN those 3 would in all actuality be voting me, leaving me defenseless and alone, flushing Jakes non-existent idol (it exists theoretically though) and then I go home first boot 3-2. So yeah I don’t feel good but I’ll never feel good I also just scarfed down from chick fil a and now I have to poop. Anyways I will be casting my vote was Isaiah later tonight because that is the only move I can make and pray that my show watching, self loathing attitude has made such a positive impact on Madison and Joey that they want to keep me around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
apparently isaiah wants to vote me out after being inactive for 2 days... bitch suck my taint. everyone else says they're voting isaiah so umm fingers crossed?? a bitch is nervous af regardless bc i will cry if i flop and get 20th
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EPISODE 3: We’re in the Upside-Down but I’m happy to be Here - Jinx
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ok soooo I did not stick to my own plan but it's fine we're gonna be ok Ep 3: I Will Not Beg You to Play Well https://voca.ro/198BUGITWV41
I will die for jinx and jones
I was gonna record another video, but I currently look like a greasy sewer rat and Jarod has been asking me to make a confessional, so I decided to just write out my thoughts. I think Jarod wants me to dive more into my thoughts regarding pirate’s counsel, so I will start with that. From my experience, first boots are almost always the easy vote. It’s hard to really build enough trust with people to truly convince them to keep the more unknown person over a person they have SOME level of trust with. When it came to my crew, I was the obvious first vote out. This became especially abundantly clear when I heard that Roxy had already announced to the blue crew that I was fucked. I already had the idol so I knew I had a safety net in place, but who wants to use their idol on the first vote??? I immediately tried bonding with people - especially those that I had some level of connection to. My first person I tried to connect with was Autumn. We had a mutual with Jinx, so I thought we could potentially connect and work together. I know that everyone is connected to Jinx though, so I wasn’t sure how strong that mutual was. We had a call, which I thought went really well. We bonded over law, and she seemed keen on working together. Besides Autumn, I didn’t feel like I was successfully making connections. I felt like I needed to make a change and that’s when I decided chaos is a ladder. I took a new approach from trying to have light hearted good conversations, to messaging everyone more aggressively about why Roxy said I was fucked. This is when I really started to bond with Cindi. She didn’t know Roxy has said that, and felt a bit excluded from her trio and the crew I think. We really bonded and she shared that she had an extra vote and an idol, and I shared I had an idol. When I realized that the others were not going to be willing to flip, I realized I would need to use the idol, and I needed to figure out the best person to cut moving forward and how to do damage control for post tribal. I was worried about all the AllStar players, so knew that Caeb would be safe and I would take out one of them. I still hoped I could work with autumn in the future, and obviously loved Cindi, so I knew it was between Eve or Andrew. After learning about connections, I felt that Eve was the most connected, from Allstars and playing with Caeb, so I felt if they left, I would have the best chance of integrating myself. I also spoke the least with Eve, so it was a win win for me. Cindi also agreed, which was really important to me. Andrew was feeding Cindi info and could prove an asset. I did feel it was really important that everyone knew Eve was my target. I made sure to campaign all day so people felt I was nervous and wouldn’t have an advantage, so the plan would work. I also wanted people to not feel too betrayed after tribal, since they all knew I was pushing Eve. The next thing we needed to decide was whether or not Cindi voted with me or not. I didn’t care, since I was playing the idol. In the end, Cindi opted to vote against me to try to keep the relationship with Andrew. I think they still think im on an island by myself, when Cindi and I are extremely tight now. Moving forward, I honestly don’t know if I’ve gained much more social capital on my crew. I think im ~okay~ with everyone, but I think im still at the bottom. But, I have an extra vote that Cindi gave me, so I have some level of security going forward. I really hope our two trios work together going forward. Luckily I’m good at challenges. We have won the past two challenges so have some level of safety. My goal for the rest of the game is for my trio and Cindi’s trio to make merge, and then we can really do some damage. I know Kai and Bohdi also have bonded well. Hopefully we just keep winning and I get a good swap scenario. I’m guessing we swap to two tribes at 14. I still feel like an underdog, but with a certain level of tenacity, anything is possible.
My tribe is going to its first tribal and I am terrified. I have no clue what to expect or how this will go. I trust in jinx and henry that the vote is on Pippa, its sad but I need to stay. My two trio members are not going to perish in vain so I will slay anyone who stands in my way.
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Thankfully we're safe but you still gotta worry about your trio members ur never free from the anxiety
Hello, this is a mandatory confessional. Im currently getting my tarot for the game being read by Jinx and whew its a lot for me right now. Im really intruiged by all this and i feel like its so deep and impactful but right now im feeling a tad overwhelmed. Right now all signs are pointing to me to me breaking the chains of my past and make top 9, but also maybe get out immidiatly at 9. According to the cards the biggest obstacle in my path to success is me and im gonna really take that to heart this game
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Sappho going to council… DISGUSTING!! Basically I’m the vote but Andrew got a power to let me leave council and be safe ❤️ So I shall be using that !! Jinx and I had a good talk and I’m hoping we are okay bc I genuinely wanna work with them. BUTTT jinx is a legend I am constantly weary of. So I shall see y’all in round 4 but will I survive past that?? I smell a swap
It was pretty gutting seeing Kai able to go to the bay instead of Jordan, who actually campaigned to keep her. Hell, I thought I also had a decent relationship with her after encouraging her to attempt the puzzle. Hopefully Kai actually found a disadvantage like he said, but there’s no way to tell because it “won’t be revealed until its applicable.” Never in my LIFE have I seen a disadvantage worded like that. Something to keep an eye on. Coulee was unfortunately voted out by our team last round and I think it was a squandered opportunity to take out a power player. With one of the most egregious mistakes I have ever seen in an ORG, Coulee being voted out makes sense in terms of keeping the team strong. I really think there’s other reasons though. Bodhi and Mo shutting down the chance to take out someone as skilled at the game as Kai is a little concerning. I have to assume that Mo and Bodhi are at least closer to Kai than they are to Jordan and I. Bodhi specifically I’m skeptical of after they told me there were no other names tossed around…when Jordan definitely had a convo with him about voting Kai. I really trusted Bodhi before this but now I have to be cautious around them to. Also, I had a short conversation with Mo about potentially switching the vote up. I didn’t outright say it, just hinted at it by saying “maybe we should stick to how el farto voted.” I was hoping that reminding them that Caeleb has technically already voted against 101 would get them to consider switching their vote but they didn’t bite. Maybe I should have done more here, but I would be risking myself becoming the next target on this team. I’m thrilled we won the letter number challenge because things aren’t looking good for me on my team. Joyita going to council would have meant Jordan or I probably going home. Unfortunately though, we found out pippa is getting votes which isn’t much better! We do have our safety without power advantage, so Pippa isn’t actually going home, but we did have to figure out who we’re telling. Jordan was nice enough to tip me off about her getting votes after I asked, so I decided to tell him about Pippa’s power. I think him telling Jinx this information would allow them to stay in control of the vote and further solidifies our two trios working together. Though in the moment on call with Jordan, I’m not sure I was delivering it with the most conviction. I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before and I think he noticed I was wavering about telling him or not. Is he gonna put it together that I found this item under his nose and didn’t tell him, or is he even going to care. IDK!! My wheels were turning and though I was a little clumsy with my words, I told him about the advantage so he could tip off Jinx. I followed it up with reassuring him that it was in our best interests for our two teams to work together and that he was my number one. I’m definitely going to have to do some damage control because he’s going to realize I held back information from him, but I think I was still able to get across that keeping him and his trio safe are my top priority. Can’t wait to see how that goes :’)
Also this game makes me tire. Or maybe I need to eat more vegetables. Who knows.
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IVE BEEN UNPACKING ALL DAY AHHHHH
I’ve been looking for my cat so I can’t like do a conf love you hosts
So me jinx and Jabari are going strong! Just talked to jinx today I feel so tight with her we’re like inseparable. I’m sitting between three trios: Kai Sarah me Bodhi Cindi me Jinx Jabari me All of whom I don’t want to betray sooo it’s gonna be tough. I’ll probably end up being loyal to Kai and Sarah, as both the other duos want to work with my trio. So yeah! We originally wanted Roxy out for this tribal and she had told me she was coming after Sarah and Bodhi to my face and I was like 😳 girl you know I’m working with them at least lie. But uhm it’s become abundantly clear that Pippa is not pulling her weight in challenges so that was the move. However right before tribal we caught wind of Pippa advantage where she could leave tribal and be safe, but lose her vote. We decide to pivot the vote to Jones: and she goes home. However jinx told Roxy to vote for me 🙄 whatever. Uhm I’m not mad but it’s still like something to think about. But yeah! So Jones goes home, and I move on to the next cycle :>
https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1128476152
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16.
Pushing the bed covers back as I got up from the bed, I can’t even deal, it’s too in this bedroom and Robyn is all over me. She is making me sweat even more, getting up out of the bed. We are still in Barbados but it’s not all that bad, Monica adores me though. She is spoiling me, Ronald is banned from the home and Rajad does speak to me but Rorrey doesn’t but I don’t care. It’s ok here, I am enjoying it but I do miss home. Robyn hasn’t spoken about a baby for a whole ass two days, she is so happy here. I have never seen Robyn so happy, she is making me smile with the way she is. Monica had a few visitors and they was all wanting to see Robyn and her husband, the people are funny here. Especially the family friends, they are so odd at times. Robyn also washed my clothes and nobody can find them so someone stole my clothes, I think it was those family friends that came so Robyn keeps everything locked now, I don’t know how it happened to be honest. Looking down at my phone, I can’t be bothered to answer it all. I have got a tan, I look two shades darker and a whole lot more hairier, I need a haircut. I am so itchy with this beard too, I should fly out my barber because only god knows how long we will be here for.
Stroking the dog’ head as I made my way to the kitchen, I think they are in there “Majesty, will you quit playing!” Noella spat, seeing Majesty running towards me but she stopped and looked up at me “see, uncle Chris will get annoyed. Come back here and eat” smiling at her, she got ever so sad and turned back around “why are you making me out to be bad? I am soft as fuck, I mean hell” Monica done told me off about cussing “what did you say Christopher!?” Noella laughed as I stared all wide eyed walking into the kitchen “I said, I am hungry” I lied “I thought so, try this. I made it fresh, coconut bread. What would you like to eat?” sitting on the bar stool “it’s cool , I will get it. Is this nice?” I pointed at the coconut bread “try it Chris, tell him Majesty. Tell uncle Chris how nice it is” Majesty nodded her head at me “mmhmmm nice” I chuckled “aight, I will try” breaking some of it off “if this is not nice, I am blaming you little miss Majesty” biting into the kind of hard texture, frowning as I chewed down “it’s like, a cookie. A weird and different one” Noella rolled her eyes at me “cookie, you’re so American” it’s nice though, I shrugged biting down some more “we will make him into a Barbadian boy” Monica added.
I know I am in Barbados but the milk here tastes not as nice as the milk at home, I am missing home so much “what are you doing today?” Noella poked Rajad saying “nowhere, maybe see dad or get my hair cut” my ears perked up “I need my hair done” I added “well, she is asleep. Why don’t you and Rajad walk with me to the shop and you can see more family and more of Barbados Chris. Let Robyn sleep, you can come with us. I known Robyn is overprotective but Auntie, he will be ok right?” they treat me like a child, like Robyn’ child “it’s only Barbados” Monica waved me off “you will be ok, Rajad will take good care of him” Rajad smiled at his mom “the guy that cuts my hair, he is really good. I think he will get extra happy to see you, you will like it. Rihanna is boring” I think it will be dope “yeah, I will come. I need my hair done and shave this beard off” I might as well see the damn shop they keep telling me about, it’s a family thing I guess.
Majesty actually wanted me to pick her up, she is a cutie though “this is the shop, come” Noella waved me in, Majesty placed her arm around my neck. It’s a cute clothes store, nodding my head “oohh we have a visitor” Robyn’ auntie soon got up from her seat “I ain’t come to shop, I come to see y’all” I lied, I can just hype it up “look at my grand baby, she is loving you” hugging Robyn’ auntie “so good to see you, you can have anything here for free” she said, I laughed looking around the store “you think I would look good in these things?” I said with my free arm around her “well your mom, she will like things” she is right “you right but I don’t know what to get my mom, you know what. You tell me” moving my arm back from her, digging into my pocket “give me” pulling out the notes I can get “five hundred worth” she gasped “oh no no, you family. No money, if you want to help. You give to the poor kids out there” she pushed my hand back “I will send your mom some things, Noella help me” Robyn’ Auntie walked off with Noella.
Turning to Rajad “what poor kids?” I asked him, Rajad smiled at me “just out there, if you turn left and go around the block. You will see the kids finding things on the floor but I don’t recommend you to go or you can give this to a school centre, come” he waved me over “Auntie, we will be back” he shouted, I don’t want to be chased and robbed, I hope Rajad knows where he is going “the school is just here, randomly. This school has such minimum things, Rihanna gives here too ” letting out an oh, fixing Majesty in my arm. This building has seen better days too, I mean anybody can just walk in, the school doesn’t even seem like a school either “where are you going?” I asked, he is walking around like it’s his home “I told you Chris, Rihanna donates here and I know the man who runs it” letting out an oh, Rajad knocked on the door. The man waved him in from the glass window, he shot up from his seat “Chris Brown?” he said pointing “hi” he walked over to me and shook my hand “Chris Brown, wow. Rajad, so good to see you” the guy is still shaking my hand, I wish he didn’t “well we need to go, just a quick visit” I said moving my hand back “I want to donate money to your school” I feel bad and want to give more “donate? Oh wow, no need too Chris!” he said, smiling at him “I want too, I will donate ten thousand” I cannot give five hundred, Rajad eyeballed me “I will be in touch” I couldn’t help it, this school looks so bad and I feel bad to just give that.
I have been oversleeping recently, I am such a lazy bitch. Chris is awake already, it’s the afternoon too. Stretching my body out, I always sleep well in Barbados. I just wish I wake up to my man being in bed with me but he wakes up early, I knew my phone was ringing. Picking my phone up from the side “hello” I said without looking at the caller I.D “hi Rihanna, it’s Jay” of course it is “oh yeah, did you get my message? Will I see you in London or you letting Jen deal with me?” I haven’t told Chris I am going to London after Barbados “Jen, I will keep in contact. Puma are happy to have you on board but also, Chris. They want Chris, Fenty Puma? I mean you said you want to stop Fenty, they accepted Fenty-Brown Puma but as long as Chris is on board, they want him to do their clothes because they love his style” these assholes always got some terms “right, well I can’t say yes. I need to speak to him, he has Black Pyramid so put a hold on that. Also if you can set me a outline of a tour timetable for America, we can start there ok?” I need to stop being so down, I need to start looking to the future with my husband and let life take it’s path.
This home is so quiet, is anybody home “hello boy” the dog ran over, seeing my mom sat with my grandfather “you always sleeping!” my mom half shouted “I know, did Chris eat? Where is he?” I am so useless “you are a wife Robyn, you need to be awake and ready for your man!” here my mom goes “you need to be cooking for him, you not Rihanna, you are Robyn. You don’t get no cook, you do it for your husband” I am sure I have heard this before “ok mom, where is he?” my grandfather is laughing “he went out with Noella and Rajad” frowning at my mom “why? Why has he gone out? Mom he doesn’t know this place!” I don’t like him being out with anybody “Robyn, stop it. He is with family, he is with family he knows. What is wrong with you” rubbing my temples “wrong? Mom, he is Chris Brown not just anybody. I want to look after him, he doesn’t understand these streets. I swear Rajad better look after him” turning around to walk in the kitchen, why would he go out when he knows I don’t like him going without me.
I could ring him but then I look clingy and then my family laugh, I just don’t like him being far away from me. I mean he is not far but he shouldn’t be out there, there is bad people in Barbados too and he is famous, what if someone holds him up at gun point, I feel sick. I can’t eat this, pushing the plate back “sweetie, what is wrong? I have been watching you from there?” my grandfather walked up to me “just thinking, I am ok” I smiled at him “I hope you are not worrying yourself” I sighed out, he knows me well “Clara would be so happy, she would always say. Go with your heart, Chris is your heart Robyn. He good to you baby?” smiling wide “he treats me a like a queen, just like gran gran said. Get someone who worships you and I have, he is the best” I gushed “I just feel so clingy to him, I just want him back close to me. He doesn’t know these people” my grandfather held my hand “he is with good people ok?” nodding my head “I am so happy for you, he is a good kid. I remember him being that, young kids in love made silly young mistakes” smiling at him, he is the best “you like him a lot don’t you?” he nodded his head.
Catching up with my shows, I have the house to myself. Well I don’t but my mom is busy so I thought I will catch up with love and hip hop, at one point I thought I would see Chris on this. He was just spiralling down this path and nobody was helping him, I for one didn’t help because I was so blind sided by my peers, I was so stupid. I am just glad he is out of that dark hole and he is with me, in my arms. I want to protect him, my baby “fuck” I said in a whisper, I miss him already. I want him to complain how hot it is and I am being too close to him, smiling to myself “here you are” hearing Noella say, my head shot up looking behind Noella “what?” Noella froze, frowning at the emptiness “where is Chris!?” I don’t understand “oh, Rajad took him to get his hair done, we went to the shop. He got his mom things” she held the bags up “and I think they are going on quad bikes after, some brother in law bonding” shaking my head “why can’t he just come home? Rajad is going to take him to where there is bad people” Noella gawked at me “will you quit it, he is fine. He had fun with us” Noella sat down “he should have told me” I said in a whisper, why is everyone acting so calm “call him then” Noella spat, grabbing my phone “I will” I retorted, unlocking my phone. Tapping on my baby’ name “you seen this? Majesty and Chris, she couldn’t stop hugging him” Noella showed me the picture on Instagram “that is cute, look at her goofy smile” listening to the phone ring out “where were they going?” I asked Noella “I left to come here and they was walking to get a haircut, they met up with Rorrey and some boys we know! Robyn, stop eyeballing me. We know them, everything was ok. I made sure Chris was comfortable” look at my phone, he is not picking up. Let me stop worrying, he should be ok “I am blaming you if he is not ok” I pointed at Noella.
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