#ok rapid fire theory time:

[mimicmew]

ok not to owlhousepost randomly despite never talking about it but something i noticed. When compared to the pictures in belos’ mind, the reflection hunter sees of caleb looks more.. sickly? might just be because of the lower quality of the paintings but its still interesting. hm

[wolfscarr]

Hazbin Hotel S1 Thoughts...

So guess I better be getting around to it, since now it's....suddenly over as quick as it came. So what are my thoughts?

It's.....fine? I guess? It's certainly not anything Earth shattering or groundbreaking it's just.....a show. Which I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, considering how long it's been. But hey if people find it amazing, then fine....not saying you can't, this is only my opinion after all.

I think what bothers me the most is the tonal and pacing issues, everything just seems to rapid fire, one minute it's all serious and the next there's some joke coming up, mainly I guess in the 1st 4 episodes, the others I can't really recall. But it just was very....whiplashing I guess.

Another thing is, I feel like some stuff in this show was just ripped straight out of fans ideas/theories since the Pilot, some years ago. I mean in EP 4, there's clear dialogue that was ripped straight from a fanwork, along with some other stuff...either that or the writing is THAT predictable that people were able to figure stuff out YEARS in advance and if that's the case then just.....wow.

I also didn't feel anything for Charlie/Vaggie as a couple, for like the first 4 episodes Vaggie felt more like a bodyguard at worst and best friend at well....best. Yeah sure the later episodes, did at least give an indication that...yeah they are girlfriends, but I can see that this was really a kind of last minute thing. Maybe S2 will make it better, but I dunno....I mean the couple is there, I acknowledge it, but that's frankly it.

The songs....have to be honest, they were just there and gone for me, at least in the first 4 episodes. In fact in some songs I feel like they weren't sync'd properly? Or something? Because I had a hard time actually following what was being sung by the characters, it just seemed all over at times in some of these songs.

Now the later songs....again, were fine? Frankly the only one I remember at all that's in my head, that I feel many don't talk about or don't like is More Than Anything.

At least...in a vacuum it's fine, within the show it's.....ok, but again this is where the issue of pacing comes in. The pair haven't seen one another for a long, long time and they sing a song and suddenly their relationship is fine and Lucifer has hope, saying that his daughter turned his viewpoint around.

Now....I'm hoping that this just means, he's in support of HIS daughter, not being in support of the Sinners. Because it just seems really bizarre, that all it took to undo centuries of depression was....a song and reuniting with his daughter. Now I like their interactions/dynamics, it just again was blown by with the problems and issues.

I dunno, everything being blown by so quick is just...jarring and I get it, only 8 episodes and I feel like some say

"You have to look at it, as if it were a Musical."

Which.....just because it has songs in it, doesn't mean I should have to view it like that. Other shows have songs, doesn't mean I also have to view them as Musicals in order to rectify the tonal issues or pacing.

But sure, perhaps it's more due to the fact that it's only 8 episodes....but even then.

Anyway, so the characters are.....fine I suppose. Don't really have a whole opinion on them, because they are just there, some are interesting but I feel there needs to be a bigger push.

I think perhaps my favorite is and this might be an odd take, is Lucifer...now I know many don't seem to like his whole 'sad guy' routine and the backstory. Admittedly I'm not...too thrilled on it, but I'm still sort of open for his character and mayb in S2, things will be different.

Granted yes, I realize making the literal Devil, the embodiment of everything wrong with mankind, evil of evil into sympatric sad guy is....strange, but it's not like this is anything new. Well at least being sympathetic anyway, this has been done in other shows....granted ones with longer episodes that can actually flesh him out, but still.

I'm a little irked at Lucifer and Lilith not being together, buuuuut I'm hoping S2 they can get back together and I hope that Lilith just doesn't become a Stella 2.0. Granted since the start and seeing a bunch of fanworks with Lucifer/Lilith being stupidly in love and wholesome, perhaps that's skewed my perspective, but I also recall it was noted that they were heavily in love at some point....so I'm betting on in S2 some huge romance number for them...hopefully.

Now I see people go on about what S2 could entail since they blew Heaven away so quickly and yeah, I can agree doing that was kinda....sudden. But I don't think it'll be the Vees, they seem more like secondary antagonists more so.

In truth, I feel the S2 main big baddie will be this Root of Evil thing or what have you, that they'll all have to fight against. Which...could be interesting, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway overall the show is...fine, again nothing huge or groundbreaking for me, there's issues with it like EVERYTHING...

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Can I have a random history fact that you really like for some reason? I want to annoy my family with history facts. If you have a list that’d be amazing infodump on me-

oh my god ok sO

i'd say a favorite would be, because TR could be such a FUCKING IDIOT, he was at this little formal reception right? And he was speaking with Mark Hanna, and accompanying Hanna was a Frenchwoman named Henriette Adler. And TR was so enthusiastic and energetic in his speaking (in rapid French) that his arm started to get closer to her bodice (almost destroying it/knocking it off.). But INSTEAD, this DUMBASS proceeded to accidentally elbow a silk rose and some gauze off. He started apologizing profusely but did NOT STOP THE WAR RHETORIC in FRENCH and thankfully it was fixed by someone getting a safety pin.

But that was. So. Not okay 😭😭 it was recreated in a Rough Riders 2 part tv mini-series and it's so embarrassing each time I watch istg

NEXT okay this is gonna seem rlly not-detailed but when you have a PDF of a TR book you can get details mkay

so like Alice Roosevelt, badass bitch, smoked while she was a teen. Okay?? Well I was reading a book on her and TO MY SURPRISE she let her 13 YEAR OLD BROTHER (Kermit) smoke a cigar with her. IS THAT NOT- okay im- a little bit OUT THERE but i digress

Also the entire Bisexual JFK theory is. Very very believable but I WILL NOT GET INTO THAT but tbh he probably was BUT ANYWAY

Also wanted to mention this list on wiki exists

And the GHWB incident is that this mf, AS THE PRESIDENT, vomited and then fainted on THE PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN AT THE TIME. america has the stupidest stories ever i swear to god

This next one, which is also stupidly funny as fuck to me but also hella messed up, is that, okay, so TR had a riding accident when he was younger when Alice was still a tiny toddler. And he returned home with fucked clothing, a broken arm, and a bloody face. Like he looked like he was a murderer mk. And he, yknow, sees his daughter, goes running to her. She fucking SCREAMS. this man is NOT her father who is this RED MAN GET HIM AWAY WHAT THE HELL.

But he catches her and he's all bloody and sweaty and she is SCREAMING so he. Guess what. Does not put her down. Does not try to CALM HER DOWN.

He SHAKES HER. and im sorry but the image 😭 bloody ass TR shaking his daughter like a rattle im sorry

but when she DOES NOT CALM DOWN AS ONE WOULD NOT AND SCREAMS LOUDER, he SHAKES HER HARDER. i cannot make this shit up

im

i

oh my god anyways

also you likely know this but when it was thought that tomatoes were poisonous, Thomas Jefferson really ate one in front of people and they thought he was dying but when he was fine they were like "..... what the fuck"

Aaron Burr also lit himself on fire TWICE

Burr also bought a coconut for like 70 dollars or smth

(im just listing shit i know i cant think of any faves rn my brain blanked as soon as i read ur ask)

!! A favorite WOULD be that TR killed a man with his bare hands and was like rlly pumped about it but you already know that

And when some of his men were like 'we are NOT going up hill no ohmg' he was like 'DO IT OR I KILL YOU MYSELF' and they, yknow, ran up the hill

because. that is. threatening

I also would like to mention the insanity that was Lincoln liking cats and Lincoln growing a beard because a child more or less said he was ugly without one and Lincoln also maybe being bisexual

JFK's nickname by his wife, Jackie, was Bunny, bc apparently he fucked like a rabbit hjkglkmhklhkmkljk

Buchanan (James Buchanan, yknow, a president) might've been gay

Thomas Jefferson also called John Adams a hermaphrodite and i find that funny but also like. why. wh. where did you get that

Also this isnt a history fact but if i wanted to i could probably gaslight someone into thinking Andrew Jackson was on bathsalts bc a podcast i was watching mocked him by saying he was on bathsalts and tbh. accurate

Jefferson also had a ram on the White House grounds and did not get rid of it until AFTER it either harmed or killed a little boy

Harry S Truman and Ulysses S Grant both have an S as their middle name, but both of those S's mean nothing. Neither. Crazy that both S mean absolutely nothing

Grant's first name was also Hiram!!

Truman and his wife also needed to replace a bed during the white house cause they may or may not have *slams barbies together* so hard that they broke the bed

I'd also like to say the William Howard Taft bathtub myth is false klhmkhmj but ALSO i find it rlly sweet how, during TR's funeral, he was sobbing because, even tho TR was bitter during him for their last few years, Taft still considered TR a friend, and when Archie (TR's second youngest son--youngest at his funeral, as Quentin died in 1918) noticed him sobbing he was like 'come over here, you're a family friend.'

i forget the exact line but it was something close to that effect. So even though TR held a grudge, his kids didn't.

Apparently TR and Edith also fought like their entire marriage over how to pronounce Tomato and I'd like to know how he pronounced it cause wtf do you mean

ALSO for once it is not American BUT: Winston Churchill and his wife, Clementine, had nicknames for each other. Animal nicknames. His was Pig. I forget hers but. Really. P i g .

She also once threw a plate of something (asparagus or smth i dont remember) at his face and it instead hit the wall so like bad bitch moment

And finally:

all of our presidents were DUMBASSES <3

(also the Hoover Dam is named after Herbert Hoover, not J. Edgar Hoover, i think that's a common misconception.)

OH the Roosevelts also had a pet racoon for a period of time. so whenever i see something reference the Coolidge's pet racoon, Rebecca, I want to be like 'yknow the roosevelts had one pre-white-house days'

i hope thats enough idk

[sabrina-central]

You know what? I like you! *shows you my Sabrina Summer Job AU*

Every summer since she was 10, Sabrina and her dad would spend a lot of time during her vacation watching Nascar together (and other such car racing shows and events, that's just the one I'm familiar with through my American centric lense of pop culture).

Her dad liked the high speed racing, the action and adrenaline of it all, and while she could certainly see the appeal, it never drew her attention nearly as much as the pit crew.

Those six people working together diligently to make sure their racer's car has everything it needs to keep going, have only about 10 seconds to do so!

That's insane! It's impossible!! And damnit, she wants to learn how to do that so goddamn bad it hurts.

She studies everything she can on her own but whenever she hits a roadblock, she asks her dad if he knows the answer. He helps as much as he can but he admits she's already far more advanced in her understanding of it all than he's ever been.

Perhaps it would benefit her to talk to a professional and, with proper supervision and without letting her do anything too dangerous, she might be able to gain further knowledge through personal experience, using what she's learned in theory and applying it in practice.

And with that idea in mind, when she was 12 years old Roger took his daughter with him to his trusted car mechanic of 15 years, one of the best there was. Sure, he wasn't part of any pit crew, but he knew his stuff and like Sabrina he had started fairly young.

The little girl had a million questions to ask him and she did so in rapid fire succession, her words forming so fast he thought for a moment he would no longer be able to perceive them as they would break the speed of sound.

Although overwhelmed, he found her curiosity and enthusiasm endearing and decided to take her energy as a challenge and do his best to match it.

The trips to the mechanic became a monthly thing. Everytime he'd answer the five to ten questions he didn't get to last time she'd have about 20 more, just ready and waiting to be asked, and thus the cycle continued.

He never got tired or bored of answering her, clearly this was as much her lifeblood as it was his.

Which is why it was no surprise that when that summer rolled around, he had an offer to make Sabrina, making sure to run it by Roger first, of course.

"A summer job? She's barely 13!"

"Don't think of it as a summer job, Rog, it's not like I'll be having her fix up the cars or even talking to the clients! It'll mostly be more of what she's been doing already in between playing 2000 questions where the only topic is cars. It's more of an apprenticeship. If and when she's old enough to decide she wants to start working here, than we can discuss that."

"Still, I don't know. The only reason I was ok with doing this was because I was able to be here for it. If she's here all summer... what if something happens and I'm not here to protect her?"

"Roger, you know I would never let anything hurt her. I know she's not my kid but she's my student, and I consider myself responsible for her. She's very important to me, nothing bad will happen to her on my watch. You have my word."

"It's not you I don't trust, Hector." He answers, so much pain and fear unspoken. He doesn't need to say it, Hector's always known the things that weigh heavy on Roger's mind.

"You won't lose her. Not to this. If anything, I think having this in her life will only do her good, it can help her." Hector reassures him.

Roger knows he isn't saying this just to get an affirmative. Hector is many thing, but a liar isn't one of them. That man had never said something he didn't belive in, and he was often proven right. Not always, but enough for Roger to trust his judgment.

He takes a deep breath. "You do realize I'll be swinging by here every chance I get, right?"

"Oh no, I have to see more of you? What a nightmare!" He jokes with a dramatic hand over his forehead, pretending to faint before chuckling. "Come on, Rog, you know you're always welcome at my shop!" He says with a wink.

Roger smiles. He can trust Hector, and his daughter is stronger than his anxiety gave her credit for. It might not be a bumpless road, but those don't make for a very entertaining race anyhow. The important thing is she'll end up in one piece.

So, with the arrangement settled between the two, they both break the news to Sabrina, of course making it clear that if it's not something she wants she's not at all required to do it or anyth-

"ARE YOU KIDDING?! YES YES YES, A HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES YES! WHEN DO WE START CAN WE START NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!"

Hector and Roger both laugh fondly at Sabrina, running and jumping around the shop like she's on a sugar high after a finishing her entire Halloween haul.

"Actually, I've seen that happen and I think this is somehow worse." Roger says with biggest smile on his face.

"She's a good kid, and a real natural at this too. It's always a thrill to find out the thing you want to do is the thing you were meant to do." Hector replies, a matching grin as they watch her look around the room and take it all in, realizing that she'll get to spend her summer vacations here, learning to do what she's always dreamed of!

By the time shes 14, she starts actively helping out at the shop. She still doesn't talk to clients or fix cars, as per the agreement, but she helps take inventory, lets Hector know what tools need fixing and she even troubleshoots particularly difficult issues his clients have with him and helps him do his job without having to break said agreement.

Thank you, technicality!

And so, the summer before going back to school, she asks to be allowed to work on the cars.

"I'll start with one car a month. You can even give me one of the old cars that you got from the junkyard. that way you don't have to worry about me dealing with an angry customer after I messed up his car!"

"Yes, but I'd still be breaking the promise I made your dad - "

"You promised to keep me safe, right?"

"How do you know that part?"

"I know my dad, he's always worried about me. And though it's sweet, it seems a bit more excessive the older I get. Look, you can renegotiate the agreement, I can help if that's what it takes, but... I'm past the point where disassembling and assembling an engine is sufficient enough training for me. I wanna get a head start and gain some real experience! Especially since Im only here two months a year, anway. And since dad and I agree I shouldn't skip high school to go to a trade school and pursue a mechanic career at 16 - "

"And what's wrong with that?" Hector asks, jokingly defensive.

"Oh nothing, whatever works for every individual but, it's just not for me I'm afraid. Anyways, don't change the subject!" Sabrina replied, barely even getting distracted by the turn in the conversation before steering it right back on track.

"Well, can't blame a guy for trying to save himself from the wrath of his favorite person."

"My dad's your favorite person? Hmm, idk if I should be jealous or intrigued..."

"Suddenly the conversation about you wanting to repair cars is a lot more appealing, lets go back to that please!"

"Hmmm... okay fine. But this isn't over."

"Oh boy."

"Anyway, I can talk to my dad, give him the ol' puppy eyes, tear down his anxiety walls with some sound logic. Should take me a few days, maybe a week if he's feeling particularly stubbron, but just. Promise me you'll think about it? Please?"

"I..." He has about a million protests he can think of off the top of his head.

They all die in his throat at the sight of her dreaded puppy eyes.

"I swear, you Raincomprixes are gonna be the death of me one of these days." He mutters before letting out a deep exasperated sigh.

"Alright, I'll see what cars are safest for you to work on and I will consider allowing you to maybe repair one of them."

She squeals and jumps him, giving him the biggest hug. For a girl so petite, she gave surprisingly crushing hugs.

"Thank you thank you thank you! You're the best mentor ever! This is gonna be the best summer ever!"

Well, Hector didn't know about that, but one thing's for sure.

This summer was definitely gonna be an interesting one.

[gemsofgreece]

I'm sorry to ask something so depressing. I wanted to look up information about the Greek fires, and the link to arson, but the only articles I can find in English are about the 2021 arsons. (The articles at the beginning of 2021 call arson a conspiracy theory, but by August they've switched to talking about arrests....) Can you tell me who people think is setting the fires? Is it politically motivated?

I think one of the reasons you can’t find articles about it is that the government isn’t really talking about it. As I am writing, one of the biggest and rarest ecosystems of Europe has been burning for several days. Not only there isn’t enough coverage on media but Greece hasn’t asked help from other countries yet neither has it notified that it is in a state of emergency, even though literally every few hours 2-3 new fires break out.

People have many theories but we are literally at a loss for words.

One theory is that Covid and the financial crisis have fucked people in the head.

Another theory is that the fires are set up by Turkey (don’t worry, Turkey has already publicly blamed us for their own fires so it’s OK). This theory spread especially because two of the major fires are close to the borders with Turkey. Also, it was only two years ago that Turkey tried to cause unrest in Evros (the afflicted area).

The all time classic theory is that people who want to build hotels or residences in protected areas of natural beauty start fires so that these areas will lose their environmentally protected status and they will be able to build there. This is backed up by the frighteningly rapid rise of Greek tourism and the fact that a new luxury hotel seems to be popping up every time you blink. However, it doesn’t exactly explain why since 2021 the land surface that is lost to the fire is so extremely bigger than previous years. Check out this graph I reblogged earlier.

Last but not least, many people think the arsonists work for corrupted businesses with the agreement or tolerance of the politicians or the government is too powerless to confront them. The Greek state is really trying to push wind energy parks against the will of the people. Greece has too little bland or flat area. Most places have a beautiful terrain or a Natura 2000 status or a traditional character or a touristic interest of any sort that is absolutely sabotaged by the presence of wind turbines. That’s why people think this is how they try to overcome the public resistance. It doesn’t help a lot that the president of wind energy business in Greece is a cousin (I think, a relative anyway) of the PM. This theory also works with tourism as this is Greece’s biggest industry and the state is pushing it like crazy. It is also buffling that the government chose to hire 1,000 priests and equally as many policemen but chose to fire hundreds of permanent firefighters and not even hire temporary ones for the summer. During the previous years (other governments), Greece also quit forest patrol and forest firefighters. Last winter, Greece terminated many peripheral environmental management state organisations (including the one responsible for the ecosystem burning right now) in order to create only a central one responsible for all of them and operating from Athens! The argument against this theory is that I don’t want to believe it might be true.

There you go. If you ask me, I don’t know which of the four is true. Honestly. All of them leave me speechless.

[bestworstcase]

I’m interested to hear what you think is going to happen in wonderland, specifically with Neo?

This ask is brought on simultaneously by none and all of your RWBY thoughts, none of them sparked it but I like reading them.

ok so i think ive mentioned this before but my pet character allusion conspiracy theory™ is that neo is the duchess's baby. [link goes to full text of the relevant chapter of alice’s adventures in wonderland.]

to sum up context: alice wanders around for a while after falling down the rabbit hole and eventually comes to a house belonging to the duchess. after squabbling briefly with the frog footman outside [sidebar: the dialogue “but what am i to do?” “anything you like” hm!] she invites herself inside and encounters four characters: the duchess, her cook, the cheshire cat, and the baby. and… actually im gonna just rapid fire rattle through the pertinent excerpts—

The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby: the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.

“There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment’s pause. The only two creatures in the kitchen that did not sneeze were the cook, and a large cat, which was lying on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

[…]

And with that [the Duchess] began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:—

“Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes: He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases.”

[…]

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:—

“I speak severely to my boy, I beat him when he sneezes; For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases!”

[…]

“Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you like!” the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. “I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went, but it just missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, “just like a star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.

As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself), she carried it out into the open air. “If I don’t take this child away with me,” thought Alice, “they’re sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn’t it be murder to leave it behind?” She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). “Don’t grunt,” said Alice; “that’s not a proper way of expressing yourself.”

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all. “But perhaps it was only sobbing,” she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. “If you’re going to turn into a pig, my dear,” said Alice seriously, “I’ll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!” The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for some while in silence.

Alice was just beginning to think to herself, “Now, what am I to do with this creature, when I get it home?” when it grunted again, so violently that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt it would be quite absurd for her to carry it any further.

So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. “If it had grown up,” she said to herself, “it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes a rather handsome pig, I think.” And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying to herself “if only one knew the right way to change them—” when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire-Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.

OK. SO.

roman holiday established several facts about neopolitan’s history that are, i think, very compelling vis-a-vis the possibility of neo alluding to the duchess’s baby—to whit, she’s a mute child who was abused by her upper-class and politically connected parents largely on the grounds of her being [figuratively] loud about her problems and also [literally] not able to communicate “properly”; moreover her father stashed a hugely dangerous amount of volatile burn dust in a vault under her bedroom that at the end of the book detonates with enough force to destroy the whole estate, which—well, the pepper.

further, RH also explicitly identifies ‘the girl who fell through the world’ as remnant’s version of alice’s adventures in wonderland by identifying the heroine as a girl named alyx, and when it draws an overt line of connection between neo and tgwfttw (“As she drifted down, she felt like Alyx falling through the world.”) it does so at precisely the equivalent moment, in neo’s story, of alice rescuing the baby from the duchess and the cook by bringing it out of the house; it’s neo jumping out her bedroom window to escape the fire she lit by mistake whilst attempting to escape. which feels... well it could be a coincidence but it certainly had me raising an eyebrow klgksdf

[RH is also interesting in that it draws a line of emotional connection between neo and salem, by way of neo’s emotional connection to the character of the girl in the tower, which in turn loosely connects salem with ‘the girl who fell through the world’ and therefore lives rent free in my brain. i would apologize for being literally incapable of talking about rwby without bringing up salem but im not sorry. i have brainrot. ANYWAY,]

[further: the theme of gitt is that ultimately the girl rescues herself, by asking for help; neo is envious of the girl being rescued by a powerful magician; the connection drawn between neo and alyx directly parallels alice saving the baby from the pepper house, but involves neo rescuing herself and thinking of herself in relation to alyx. this also feels like it is, perhaps, relevant]

rwby is seldom straightforward in its utilization of character allusions so while i’m not ruling out ‘neo turns into a literal pig or pig faunus in void wonderland, shenanigans ensue’ as a possibility here my general feeling is that, if i’m right, the transformation of the baby will probably inform the thematic and symbolic thrust of neo’s character arc in v9 moreso than the literal events; which happens to fit together quite well with the emotional landscape set up with her in v6-8.

here’s a character who doesn’t have a single fucking clue who she was, who’s spent her whole life being mistreated because she can’t communicate the ‘right’ way, who has spent her entire life reacting to trauma by drastically transforming herself from one identity to the next and is currently spiraling because she hung her whole self-concept on being roman torchwick’s partner-in-crime and now he’s gone and she’s wholly consumed by this quixotic revenge scheme that has so little conviction behind it that cinder fall of all people was able to talk her around to a new target with remarkable ease. and now she’s stranded in this bizarre magical land that is asking her to think about who and what she is; she can’t remain as she is now, so who does she become?

(this is exactly why she fell. i’ve been saying that for a while, that the two non-rwby characters who fell, fell because they’re going to have identity crises and that’s what v9 will be centered around, so as u can imagine i am feeling a little bit smug today gklsdfhg)

so i am fairly confident that neo is going to undergo some kind of emotional transformation, perhaps symbolically represented by a physical transformation—whether it’ll be a ‘successful’ one (in the sense of arriving at a point where she is able to let go of torchwick and start figuring out who she is and who she wants to be) or not (in the sense of spiraling down until she destroys herself completely) is an open question, though i lean slightly more toward the former on the grounds of 1. how easily she let her anger at cinder be redirected at ruby, and 2. v8 being the point where salem-adjacent villains started to switch sides and/or undergo character development that appears to be telegraphing imminent villain-to-hero arcs, which is to say neo is staring down the barrel of this emotional transformation at just the right narrative time to get better instead of worse.

and with regards to the pig thing specifically, i’m also squinting a bit at ‘the shallow sea’ and the theme of transformation by a god/godlike magic in connection with…a magical island so uh,

LASTLY, neo’s disappearing act and illusions generally, in combination with the cheshire cat’s connection to the duchess (and the cat’s later interest in the baby’s transformation), feel potentially relevant—& this would hardly be the first time rwby did a dual character allusion where one rwby character simultaneously alludes to two different characters in the same story, a la blake being both the beauty and the beast. and if that’s the case, i would sort of anticipate the general trajectory of neo’s character arc being away from the baby [abused, helpless, transformed into an animal and abandoned] and toward the cat [knowledgeable, comfortable in itself, free to do as it pleases, helpful insofar as any wonderland character can be considered helpful], which is another mark in favor of a ‘successful’ transformation.

[thefrontofmymind]

College Robin Buckley Headcanons

a/n: yeah,,, my fav needed some headcanons,,, there will be more trust me

SPECIFICALLY FEM!READER BECAUSE ROBIN IS A LESBIAN

- ok SO,,,, I’m thinking college!robin (who’s a music theory major bc of course she is) and she’s slowly starting to come out and be comfortable with it and you guys meet at like a dorm mixer thing in like the first week of your guys’ freshman year

- and she’s instantly in a gay panic for you and it only gets worse when she realises you live in the dorm ACROSS THE HALL

- *queue robin panicking and calling Steve to ask for advice lol*

- ‘calm down, Robin! She might not even like girls!’

‘That’s what I’m afraid of, dingus! What if she doesn’t and I make a big fool of myself?’

‘Well do you want me to come down? Test her to see what team she plays for?’

- Robin DOES NOT want Steve to come, but he does anyway bc he’s Steve (btw if you get that reference,,,,ily)

- so one weekend, Steve comes to campus to visit,,, now I imagine he’s just going through the halls to find you based on the very little and general description Robin gave him (which mainly consisted of how pretty your hair and your eyes are and how much she loves your fashion sense)

- eventually he finds you,,, now in the time between the Summer of 85 and now, his gaydar has refined a little and it is GOING OFF

- but he has to be sure so he puts on all the moves, even invites you to hang out at Robin’s dorm–thank the lord she managed to luck out and have a roommate who never even showed up so she's all alone….

- so the three of you are in robin’s dorm, Steve bought some beers and there’s music playing,,, it’s awkward

- Steve is like rapid-fire trying to figure out if you’re gay– ‘what’s your favourite movie?’

‘Fast Times.’

‘Bowie or Jagger?’

‘Jagger.’

‘Matthew Broderick or Mia Sara?’

‘Mia Sara.’

- He’s CONVINCED you’re gay but there’s one last thing,,,, at the end of the night he offers to walk you back to your room–you protest bc it’s literally across the hall but he insists

- He does the whole leaning on your doorframe, looking into your eyes and you just…. ‘I’m sorry Steve, you seem nice but…I like….someone else….”

- He FOR SURE sees you glance back at Robin’s ajar door and there’s like a silent understanding that goes on. He just nods, says goodnight to you and goes back to Robin’s room to sleep on the spare bed in there.

- meanwhile Robin is FREAKING OUT the whole night bc she doesn’t want Steve to mess it up with you but when Steve comes back and tells her to go for it…. She’s so relieved.

- Let’s say that was in like October, Robin doesn’t make a move until like January

- You were both studying at the library, a common occurrence since you guys live so close you guys go a lot of places together, especially late at night

- You were walking back to your dorms at about midnight, big heavy coats on to combat the cold, though you could still see your breath and your noses were tinged red

- It started with you jokingly rubbing Robin’s shoulders when she complained about the cold in an effort to warm her up, but then your arm didn’t quite leave her shoulder, and somehow in the short walk your arms had linked, and you just couldn’t take it anymore

- Outside the dorm building you finally had to unlink so you and Robin could take off your coats and get inside to the warmth

- once you guys are inside you just lean in and kiss her, and she freezes…. You panic, of course because what if you were wrong and she didn’t like you?

- but after a couple seconds her brain reboots and she just smiles and kisses you again

- you spend like every waking moment in her dorm after that, just spending as much time as possible with her

- you literally couldn’t be happier, she brightens up your days and you mellow her out a little, she doesn’t panic-ramble as much with you

- for spring break you TOTALLY go to Hawkins with her and reunite with Steve and he’s just all smug and tells you guys he knew you’d get together all along

- and you meet all the kids (and Eddie bc Eddie is alive, didn’t you know?) and you guys go to all her old haunts like the movie theatre and you visit Family Video and the abandoned mall lol

- you make out at the abandoned mall obvi

- you guys defo move in together for your sophomore year, just a little apartment a little ways off campus :)

- also you guys adopt a cat but it’s a hairless one bc Robin is allergic to cat fur :/

-and you live happily ever after <;33

[eternityservedcold]

akira paleeease talk more about tomoyo just share a bunch of stuff about tomoyo I want to learn about her so bad. shes just so ermmm pardon my french. hot as hell

AKSDJHASKJDHK of course my friend. here are some Assorted Tomoyo Facts (aside from the things able to be gleaned from her reference blurb)

all of the amalgam assembly characters have an associated tarot card (because im insane). hers is the magician, which can mean a lot of things but in her case mostly represents:

skill and success (her work is complex but she is very good at it)

the physical and spiritual (her work can be seen as a form of magic and/or transmutation)

concentration and willpower (yeah)

creation and manifestation (she is literally frankenstein 2, having created a living being from nothing)

speaking of, i dont talk about connie much but its tomoyos daughter, a living being made from candy. she honestly started the project as a joke but once it worked she was like "WHAT THE HELL. i need to study this thing." and made it go fight monsters lol (it went willingly!! it was NOT forced)

the creation of connie is actually, OBJECTIVELY, the inciting incident for everything. so you could say tomoyo is the foundation on which amalgam assembly lies!

tomoyos usual work is commissioned body modifications, clones, bioengineered animals/people, and prosthetics. some of what she considers her best work (aside from connie) are: an idol/actress harpy girl (commissioned by a media company), a living ball jointed doll (commissioned by a toy company), and a mermaid girl with a functional tail (commissioned by the mermaid girl herself)

amalgam assembly will be a fighting game, but tomoyo herself will not fight because 1. she doesnt care enough and 2. she is pretty physically weak. anyone who wants to fight her will have to take it up with leo. that being said, with the amount of FREAKS there are in amalgam assembly (demons, angels, vampires, dragons, etc), im sure shed love to thoroughly examine (dissect) all of them. maybe she can be a dlc character with a similar shtick to valentine from skullgirls?

leo has a big gay crush on tomoyo (big shocker) and in the final product its going to be extremely ambiguous whether tomoyo is leading them on, ambivalent to it, or genuinely clueless. the real answer lies somewhere in the middle? tomoyo is married to science and thus cannot be wooed, but she also doesnt see leo as an attainable partner for herself (for many reasons), BUT she ALSO sees the value in keeping them around to do stuff around the lab

ok ok ive been going on for too long. here are some rapid fire facts:

her blood type is actually O, even though the commonly accepted blood type personality theory says she should be B or AB. she thinks this is very funny

her favorite flavor category is savory (avoiding giving her a favorite food so as to not curse her)

though she provides plastic surgery, etc to others, shes actually staunchly against doing it on herself

i like to imagine she had a deviantart sparkledog phase (or whatever the 2030s/40s equivalent would be) but idk if i would say thats concretely canon

she made her goggles herself and they are prescription (shes very nearsighted)

she often falls asleep at her desk, no matter how much caffeine she consumes

she likes to make pottery as a hobby whenever she actually has free time

she owns a three-headed cat named catberus (the heads are also individually named. havent decided what theyre called though...)

(NOT real lore dont take this seriously lol)

[taardisblue]

hii i dont think we´ve ever really talked before but i just wanted to say ive been really enjoying your tags on thoschei posts in the last couple of days!

like this:

#please tell me someone has written a fic focused on missy receiving that and looking for 12#all the way to her deciding to involve Clara#bc ok#I don’t believe she *needed* Clara to find him not really#earth; noise but no threat; a party; she could have figured it out#but that makes it even more interesting bc that means she *chose* to involve Clara#part of it is probably just that she likes her djdjjd#but it’s interesting bc it’s like the master is always torn#bc they want to be the centre of the doctor’s attention with no distractions but the companions....they’re so /useful/ aren’t they#such a lovely stick with which they can push the doctor’s buttons#easy to threaten easy to kill#and back then they didn’t feel threatened by them; bc in the end the master remained the doctor’s only equal —or so they thought#but *now*?? now the master has found out he’s as temporary to the doctor as every single pet she’s ever had? oh ho ho

and this:

#honestly my KINGDOM for an ep that leads a companion to realizing (AND POINTING OUT!!!) how similar they are#I would have Loved for it to be Ryan but I’d love to see Yaz handling that too#they have this fundamental difference in how they perceive the world#but they also grew up together#the two kids who were smarter than everyone else#who skipped classes together and dared each other to do stupid shit and even NOW#THOUSANDS of years and countless civilizations and deaths and lives and who knows what else later#.....it still shows#they still act the same they still react in the same ways they are still in /sync/#which is why a doctor master team up WOULD kill me in every possible way#can you imagine?? the two of them bouncing theories and plans and strategies off of each other#rapid fire and breathless and /grinning/ and lowkey insulting each other but in a teasing *oh so fond* way#they wouldn’t even realize they were doing it#neither of them

this:

#like worth mentioning that as they flirt and trade quips and rapid fire ideas and grins#Bill is RIGHT THERE#after going through the worst year of her life#and slowly coming to the realization that she’s going to have to die to fix this#dw#but these two are just......so absorbed with each other#with the sheer /glee/ of having someone match them match their speed match their intellect#not that I expected missy to be particularly considerate but /12/????#he’s so /caught/ in the simple *fun* of having someone match him and challenge him that he forgets. just for a second.#hc that I’m treating as canon: that’s what it was like back in school for them#it’s what they were like back at the academy#trading insanely fast ideas and concepts in half sentences that were incomprehensible to everyone but them#riding the high of having someone just /understand/ whatever it is you’re getting at without needing long dull explanations

like sorry to quote your own words back to you but im just really enjoying all your thoschei thoughts thanks for them <3

Hi!! First off, apologies for the delayed response, I queued all these posts in a sudden thoschei haze before going off on holiday somewhere with very limited internet access lol, but this was lovely to come back to!! As fun as rambling in Tumblr tags can be, imo the real fun of meta comes from discussing it with people so this is!!! Very exciting!!!!

I’m going to be rambling a bit more below about the different things you bolded bc I will literally take any opportunity to type about these two for hours kjdfhgfd

using a read more bc this got uh. long. whoops!

The Master vs the Doctor’s companions

I could talk for DAYS about this bc it is fascinating to me. Pre TTC, you’ve got the Master’s arrogance coming out in full force when it comes to the companions (very time lord of him btw lol). They’re not threats, not really, even if the Doctor gets attached, bc they are fundamentally temporary.

(imo, that’s part of the reason why they’re so very hateful towards Jack, bc Jack /is/ immortal, and potentially /could/ be a threat; luckily for them, the doctor is always an ass where jack harkness is concerned kjdfghfk)

but yes, since the companions could never be on the Doctor’s level, they’re not a proper threat (it’s the ‘you’re the puppy’ thing Missy says to Clara). but! that does not mean they can’t be useful and/or even fun. The Doctor’s always out there trying to defend/save humans, sure, but with the companions, they’re /attached/, which means it’s even more fun to threaten them, bc it makes it easier to get a reaction out of the Doctor. But I also think sometimes the Master ends up kinda liking the companion? Missy and Clara is number one example in my mind and g o d, I’m not by any means a s8/9 expert but Missy and Clara are so FUN. I could do paragraphs, but instead I will just link my favorite fic involving them (it also involves 12, and bill, in the final chapter, AND it’s in my humble opinion arguably the funniest dw fic on ao3)

But! This is all pre-TTC! Back when the Master could rely on the Doctor being their equal, and, vice versa, on their being the Doctor’s (only) equal; back when the Master still knew that no matter what happened, in the end, it’d be them and the doctor together, just like they’d started.

Except that now the Doctor’s had this whoooole entire life (lives!!!!) before they met the Master. And they will keep having more of those, after the Master. The Master is now /temporary/. The Master is now a companion like any other.

In short: ouch

(As an aside, this is my read on what I believe is the Master’s thought process; imo, in the Doctor’s mind, the Master is still very much apart, regardless of whether you subscribe to that ‘the master is the kid who pushed bby!doctor off that cliff’ theory, but that’s a different essay altogether)

I think it’s fairly interesting, if slightly frustrating when writing fic lol, that we don’t really see the Master interact with the fam, or at least not out of disguise. As O, he’s his usual meddling self; trying to pique Graham’s curiosity about the doctor, messing with Yaz a little… but beyond that, he doesn’t really acknowledge them much. Could be linked to the plot, sure, but to me it also makes sense that he’d be a lot less personal with the companions than, say, Missy was. He v much encourages their being turned into Cybermen (which…. after bill?? dude. like I know it’s on purpose, (and Dhawan!Master vs the vault and Missy’s arc is its own rant) but dude.), but it’s, once more, mostly about upsetting the Doctor, more than about the companions specifically (then again, in TTC, he’s fairly one-track bc he’s revealing everything). All that to say, this is reason n°3453 why I’d like him to make a comeback next series or in the specials; I’m so curious to know whether he’d try to mess with Yaz more specifically, or if his new found ''''companion'''' status would make him Not Want To Do That

The similarities between the Doctor and the Master

This is one of the many, many things that make me go absolutely feral about them. Beyond the Master’s newfound belief that the Doctor is now some kind of god or w/e, the fact remains that these two??? They are so similar that it HURTS.

They of course have this fundamental difference in how they see the world, and have had it for a while (although, despite my abysmal knowledge of classic who, I do attribute this difference at least partly, to the Doctor’s travels with Ian and Barbara, and then generally to the influence their companions have had on them), /but/…. There’s still a reason why they became so close at the Academy, why they clicked together so well, and why they’re still now, thousands of years later, orbiting each other with absolutely no way to pull back. At their core, these two are still the two smart as hell kids who’d trade ideas and thoughts and concepts at a thousand miles a minute, and just be so gleeful that they have someone who can match them, match their speed, and understand exactly what they’re getting at. It also means they were probably insufferable, but let’s be real, they still are, and that’s why we love them.

It’s something we get a pretty good look at in s10, notably in the scene in the monks ep where Missy has 12 guess how the monks work, and it’s one of the many reasons why I adore that series. Bc despite all their history, they still fall back into that rhythm in seconds, and they don’t even notice. A team up with 13 and Dhawan!master would be even more captivating imo, bc they are so hostile. It’d have to be forced by exterior circumstances (and I don’t think even that would exclude 13 decking him at some point or other), but the fact is…. They are Still similar, despite both their beliefs that they’re not, and seeing them fall back into that synchronicity??? Into that back and forth??? My KINGDOM for this, chibs, please.

The funniest part is that they’d BOTH deny it. It’s not like Missy trying to prove that they’re not so different; the Master now also believes they’re no longer alike, but an outside eye like a companion? Like Yaz (aka a companion who has gone from hero worship of the Doctor to having had months to obsess over everything the Doctor has ever done (including possibly the darker things 👀) + being (I think??) a lot more wary of the Doctor (one day you will [leave again]); Yaz would see it, and she’d call it out and for all the Doctor would deny it…. She’d see it too.

This is WAY longer than I expected and I hope it makes some kind of sense (I am not used to having to structure meta thoughts outside of discord messages and Tumblr tags so apologies if this is helplessly rambly jdhgf), but!! It was very fun!! Thank you for the ask and the opportunity!!

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)

so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with.  Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.

So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :

1)      Biological sex is definitely real

2)      Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected

3)      JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants

 So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.  

They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?

“TRANSPEOPLE AGREE THAT BIOLOGICAL SEX EXISTS!!” 

see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.

“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female” 

is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.

Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.

They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.

Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.  

“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match” 

okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.

Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”

“transwomen needs women’s right too” 

I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?

“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”

 because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?

“transmen don’t need women’s rights” 

I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap

“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”

 funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”

“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly” 

she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.

“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.

“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”

 yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.

“His biological sex was previously female” 

BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.

After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.

Anyway they follow that with that : 

Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right)  so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.

“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”

 please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.

“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority” 

I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.

It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new.  You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.

 “neither of these sides are innocent” 

oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.

 “persistent low level harassment” 

it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.

JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.

I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.

“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .

“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”

 good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.  

“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women” 

you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained.  Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.

“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).

“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism” 

true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.

“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women” 

apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??

“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.

Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :

  That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.

“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”

 I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?

 Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks

On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?

Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??

“trying to make transpeople look crazy” 

the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is  large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .

“We support these rights”

 when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism. 

“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”

 It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.

They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.

Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.

“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”

 Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here.  Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?

“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated” 

eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off

Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.

“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817

“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately. 

“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?” 

lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?

“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia” 

sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country. 

“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?” 

You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room

“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up” 

you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.

“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia” 

did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?

“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself” 

No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.

“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”

 You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.

I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.

Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.

“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too” 

FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM .  I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.

Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.

Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.

“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” . 

This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?

“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf

It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ?  Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?

[funny-house]

What do you think happens during the aggressive sequence when opal’s mom was singing her song?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I have technically answered this before!! but since it was always always always attached to another post or rushed and summarized blah!! I will make this post

The Official

Opal Wine Mom Flashback Analysis  tw: spousal abuse, drug use, etc 

ok

insert that Always Sunny meme of the disheveled guy at the cork board cause we are going in---

First things first!! Flat answer, then explanation so the answer is: The mom was having memory flashbacks to events within the house, one if not all of them, depicting her being physically abused by her husband, mirror man! A lot of people find that shocking to hear at first, but let me explain I got a lotta proof !!!

Let’s start from literally the tippy top The sequence starts by zooming into the mom’s eye. This represents that whatever is taking place in this flashy sequence is all about her, what she’s been through, and what she’s seen. It’s her perspective. That, combined with how it seems to paralyze her while she’s going through it and her eyes roll to the back of her head until it ends, implies it’s something she’s trying to force away or doesn’t want to think about!

So frame by frame analysis, this is film theory now!!  first mental image: A windowpane at night that resembles jail bars. ( maybe the one seen on the bottom floor of the house in outside shots? ) A parallel to Claire’s window and a symbol for her feeling of being trapped-- something she brings up multiple times in her dialogue. She’s stuck here. She doesn’t want to be here but something is holding her by force and she feels helpless to escape it.  

Next scene! Hard cut to rapidly trying to call on the phone. They type 9-1-1. The music starts to fade into screaming.  Next scene! The mother’s head is in the far corner and the window is seen behind her, a reminder that she feels trapped, as she is literally seen being slapped in the back of the head by a hand. Next scene! A shot of their bedroom(whatever room she’s in!) door as her face melts across the screen Next scene! The mother screaming in a way that flaps her mouth in crazy waves and reveals her teeth and gums exactly like how Claire yells near the end Next scene! She’s shown laying down with pills dancing over her head. Next scene! her face melting below a distortion of multiple shots of her room’s door  Next scene! A whole bunch of stuff in rapid fire!! An array of eyeballs and slapping palms and her face distorting and pills and something being thrown and shattering overlayed on her face and then a zoom out from the prison bar-like windows and more screaming bleh Starting to form a picture here, right? Somebody has been very badly abusing this chic. Bad enough that she’s called the police... probably for a domestic dispute, I bet. You can even see a very nasty wound/bruise on her head, just like she’s depicted being most often hit in her flashback!! On the face!!

And in higher quality than this little picture i resize so it doesn’t take up the screen lol, you can pretty clearly see reddening and discoloring-- that’s not just another dent in her weird shaped head, she’s been hit! No other character has visible wounds on their design like that, not even Claire. So why do I assume it’s Mirror Man?  Well first, this world exists on a little set yknow they make a point of zooming out and showing as much, all their world is that house and that billboard. If someone not in that house was damaging her, they’d have to establish their existence or this would be.... a weird artistic choice tbh? The visual equivalent of randomly changing the subject lmao So it’s gotta be the dad or the grandpa heck-- it might be both, but I think it’s more likely the grandpa is a passively unpleasant company to her. He’s probably very mean and unstable- like he is to Claire, and-- honestly, for reasons i mentioned in a different post-- probably not even her grandpa but someone she was saddled with--  BUT he’s not the person in power. It’s just not likely she’d be afraid for her life enough to call the police on a badly disabled grandpa who can barely move without falling. Above all? He couldn’t be the one holding her hostage in a loveless marriage. 

LET’S jump to the very very start of the short! Every character has a montage of items that represent their problems as people. Mirror Man is obsessed with self image and is shown frustratedly throwing a tissue at a fashion magazine of a ridiculously exaggerated man’s face, the grandpa is shown putting out a cigarette but he’s missing his cigarette holder and just dabbing it on a TV program list, which is reckless and dangerous and shows a little disdain for TV itself. The mom? She knocks her wine..... onto a romance novel. A novel Jack Stauber deliberately drew the cover of himself about loving a serial killer that depicts another exaggeratedly idealized hot dude... strangling a woman whose smiling and dying in his arms. A toxic relationship, I imagine! Looks like someone!!! is having!!    relationship problems, maybe So let’s listen to how the mom describes the problem to her daughter “ It’s a virtuous cycle ” “ And they never repent how I want them to ” “ Our adversaries are in denial ” So it sounds like to me...... not only is she prone to being too forgiving of a certain someone, and that’s why she stays in a horrible situation in a horrible relationship... but that certain someone both gives insincere apologies... and denies that their actions are severe enough to be criticized.

Sound familiar? Maybe it sounds like the insincere apology of a certain mirror loving duderino who insulted his daughter’s ankles and promptly excused himself for having a brain that likes fixing mistakes without ever taking back what he said? And then promptly said this habit of his was uhhhh

“ That’s just a part of my journey, yknow? I’m like a tiny growing thing.” “ Everybody’s so mad at me, like, i’m growing though-- why be so negative? Why do people look at me-- like you probably are right now?” Feign innocence, empty promises to improve, reflect all attempts to convey that you’ve hurt someone? All without even being asked about it, btw lmao? It sounds like someone has something they should be apologizing for...   ( You’ll also notice all the 3 adults have a way of talking as if speaking in general terms-- like they’re talking about everybody in the whole world or to an audience rather than to... a little girl they have a personal relationship with-- but i think that’s just expressing how disconnected and self interested they are. You kinda have to read between the lines to get what they’re saying. )

ANYWAYS this is all my take on it, at least ! Hope it made sense!! If... any of you actually read all this junk lmao

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Onyx tells Mc she’s pregnant. They hosts a party for everyone to announce of Onyx’s pregnancy. How they announce it and how everyone react are up to you!

Written by @evoedbd

“Hey babe. Welcome back. How was your outing with Na-” the cheer fell from Cali’s voice, as heavy and rapidly as a brick dropped from a skyscraper. Her heartbeat picked up, even as the feeling of led seeped into every limb, dragging her consciousness towards what felt like a tar pit. Sticky, dooming, encasing.

“Onyx?” She called, brow furrowing as she tried to reconcile the woman who had walked through the door with the usual upbeat, unstoppable Onyx Wren. This woman appeared ashen, pearlescent white save for the usual shadings of her makeup, and the veins running blue beneath her icy skin. Long, flowing blonde hair hung in clumps, tangled around the streaks of meadow green like weeds attempting to devour the most beautiful flowers. Where life had once shone in oceanic green eyes, now there was a dullness, a glazing that only emphasized emptiness. Worse, shoulders which could bare the weight of the world slumped, chained down along with the woman’s feet. No. Onyx’s feet weren’t chained down, they were dragging, as if the act of taking a stride was too much to comprehend yet the need for familiarity and comfort drove the zombie like body onwards.

“Are you ok?” A questioned filled with trepidation. Already, Cali could see that Onyx Wren was absolutely not alright. She could feel it. Sticky hands of a hoard all dragging at her through the bond, making the world entirely too much.

Internally, she fought a war, crossing a list off silently in her search for solutions. What could have hurt Onyx this badly?

A fight with Nahara? Doubtful. Onyx loved that woman, and Nahara had earned that affection. Her hugs were too perfect, rejuvenating and secure. How Cali imagined sinking into a pool of warmed honey or melted chocolate might feel like.

Dorran? Oh, Cali had so many things she could say about him, respect for the dead be damned. Cali was absolutely convinced, out of everyone who had ever existed or ever would, that he was the most deserving the title of Jerk. Lord Jerkington the Gaslighting abuser, the third. Anybody who could do half of what he had done to Onyx whilst claiming to love her, whilst she trusted her body and soul to his romance… Cali couldn’t conceive a punishment fitting enough his horrendous crimes. Her anger had nowhere to go. No conclusion. Nothing dark and despicable enough to bring justice or pay penance. All she could do was vow never to allow Onyx to suffer that ever again.

Vinca? That was delicate ground too, and not an unrealistic conclusion. Cali’s personal grudges aside, after-all Onyx’s twin had turned Cali into a well of supernatural energy with the potential to unleash hell on Earth, Vinca had played her villainous role well. Cali still could trace the numerous scars across Onyx’s body, from throat to gut, which Vinca had left. Also, Vinca had technically gutted Onyx, though she had been possessed by Nizha at the time. Cali wasn’t too sure she could ever erase that image from behind her closed eyes. Or her nightmares.

“I’m pregnant.” Onyx’s voice was so small, so broken and confused. If Cali hadn’t been watching and listening intently, she might have mistaken those words for a breath. Or the aircon.

“… you’re…” The word fell from Cali’s lips on a shocked breath. Well. Babe had definitely been the wrong pet name to use. Suddenly nothing made sense. Her stomach fell out yet her body seemed ready to float to the ceiling, all whilst her nerves suffered a rapid fire mix of dreadful numbness and prickling tingles flowing across her skin to match the static ringing in her ears and pinging around her head.

“I’m so sorry! Please don’t be mad. I’ll be good! I w-won’t disobey o-o-or mess up.” The panic in Onyx’s voice cut Cali to the bone. Onyx fell to her knees, arms wrapped around her abdomen and torso as her shoulders curled inwards. She trembled, green eyes gazing up at Cali as if she were a terrifying Goddess preparing to render judgement upon a defiler. Cali shuddered. Who would want such worship as what Onyx was offering in the moment? Senseless, all-consuming fear? In that moment, Cali realised she could never be an abuser. There was no power in Onyx’s terror, only revulsion. Revulsion that Onyx felt she had to be subservient like this. That her trust had ever been so broken that her default was to cower like a beaten dog, still lovingly licking its own blood from the master’s knuckles.

“I didn’t mean for this, I swear. I-I ca-”

Cali couldn’t listen anymore.

“Onyx. Hey, hey, hey. Shhh, it’s ok. Breathe with me, sweetheart. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” She cooed, collapsing to her own knees before Onyx. The moment she could reach, Cali gently cupped her hands around Onyx’s elbows, tenderly guiding the smaller woman a little closer.

“Reach for me through the bond, how do I feel?” Imploring words were accompanied by every joyful image Cali could summon at that moment. The mewls of kittens, the softness of a puppy’s fur. Seeing Onyx recognise her, even as a dragon. Flying. Watching Onyx fly, be it with the wings of a dragon or across a tightrope in human form. Freedom, beauty, power. Family.

Cali’s heart picked up a marching sprint, beating so rapidly she was positive someone could visibly see her pulse throbbing in her throat if they spared a glance. Pregnant meant baby, which meant children. Onyx. Baby. Onyx. Baby. Onyx’s baby… each time Cali managed to conceive the sentence her heart skipped another beat, beat faster and faster until she was positive her heart would burst. Onyx was having a baby. An actual baby!

“You’re… you’re not mad? You’re happy? B-”

“Onyx. You’re pregnant! How could I not be excited?” Cali began as she lured Onyx to her feet. The former Envy assassin surrendered herself to Cali’s guidance, relaxing even in her confusion. Cali was incredibly careful, her touch remaining delicate, as if she might taint the innocence within Onyx if she moved a single finger incorrectly. Yet, there was also no fear to Cali’s touch. She knew Onyx, just as she knew her own breath. She offered comfort, unconditional support, even without having uttered the words.

“I’m nervous too.” She confessed, finally lowering herself and Onyx onto the couch.

“I mean there are so many things to think about. Is it safe? I mean, what effects on the baby will your dragon side have? Will you lay an egg? I mean, can your body even handle that in human form? Will you be human form for the birth? Who even is the father?”

“I didn’t cheat! I’d never do that to you. Please, you have to believe me.” Onyx’s frantic tone was matched by frantic hands which desperately clutched at Cali. She clung to Cali’s forearm, both forcing Cali to remain close whilst also preparing to defend herself. Green eyes filled with tears, a mix of panic and guilt, dappled with layers of confusion. Despite all of that, Cali saw sincerity. She felt the truth of those words as if they were her own heartbeat.

“Onyx, babe… you died. You died in my arms and came back as a Dragon. Cheating never even crossed my mind. There are some insane magical circumstances that my medical training doesn’t cover. Even if you had cheated or if something had happened, I wouldn’t be angry. I wouldn’t be him. You love me, I believe it with all my heart. Nothing anybody can say or do will make me love you or this baby any less.”

“I didn’t cheat.” Onyx reiterated; her voice much softer yet no less vehement. Her hands surrendered their grasp on Cali, allowing the Asian woman to weave her fingers through Onyx’s. The warmth of her callused hands was enough to earn a soft sigh, though neither woman could confirm who it was from.

“I believe you. D-did somebody hurt you? Onyx, babe, did somebody force himself on you?” The words burnt Cali’s tongue. Bile threatened to rise in her throat. The thought of someone doing that to Onyx. Without the guise of a relationship to force his will, to satiate perverted desires… Cali couldn’t… she couldn’t even imagine it, until she could. From a mental blank, to images of a broken Onyx. To memories of her screams morphed into something entirely different, fitting a different scenario. It was enough to make Cali tremble with fear, revulsion and a rapidly rising tide of rage.

“Nothing happened. Nobody r-” Onyx hesitated, unable to utter the devastating word flashing in Cali’s worst fears.

“- did that.”

“Thank goodness. Then, do you know how this happened?” The gentle question was delivered after a breath of utter relief. Knowing Onyx was safe from that abuse, safe from one of the most brutal of Earthly horrors mankind had ever weaponized, helped untangle the tension in Cali’s aching chest. Her heart stopped seizing in her chest, resuming its marathon sprint.

“I don’t know. Nahara said something about consequences and the past.”

“Rebirth. That was when she was talking about the bond of deceased Envy and the barer of the bite. The possibility of physical manifesta-“ Cali stopped dead. Her mind leapfrogged over the words, gathering them into a net of logic so obscure yet so plausible it felt as if she’d been punched unconscious and now was waking up. Waking to a world where mortal logic no longer applied, and the furthest dreams could come true.

“Oh fuck… Onyx..?” Cali didn’t know if she spoke, only that Onyx’s face pinched in concern. No, not concern. Fear. The murkiness reclaimed clear beauty, obscuring it for all who wished to bathe. It nearly broke Cali to see Onyx shrink, yet her small voice shattered Cali’s heart into smithereens; sent those shards digging into every vein until Cali’s body throbbed with how wrong it was.

“Please don’t get angry.” Onyx whispered, flinching as if expecting Cali to scream. Cali couldn’t. All she could do was go over the basics of Nahara’s theories. A physical manifestation of the bond between Envy, Deceased and Barer of the bite. An echo of the past. The lost reclaimed as new.

“Mine? Ours? Is this..?” Cali begged, she wasn’t and never would be afraid to admit it. Such a glistening possibility was at her fingertips, and she dared reach, hoping against hope itself that the impossible had become even the improbable. A thousand to one? Hell, even a million to one was more than enough. Cali would take any and all chance. Hers. Theirs. A chance to see how she and Onyx may appear a thousand years down the line, a notch in the human species. Proof they had existed, that their coupling had existed. Cali wasn’t dumb enough to consider a baby proof of love, not alone, but also it was. It would be. No matter whether or not that million to one chance was recognized.

“I- I don’t know. It’s possible, probably. I mean, magic? I need to talk to Nahara to find out more. I… it was overwhelming to hear I actually was pregnant and can’t let the dragon out. I just needed time. Needed to talk to you. It could be a manifestation of our bond, or it is something from the past.”

“Dorran.” The name fell from Cali’s lips like a bullet dropped from a tower into the cooling lakes. Oh, how it longed to be thrown like garbage, just as the darkest parts of Cali longed to throw the actual man into a trash compactor and hear him squeal.

“This could be his baby too.” She voiced her conclusion. Even as the words escaped, she felt no change in her heart. There was… she hated the man, she hated the power he had abused over Onyx, just as she hated the idea of him continuing to. Yet, for the baby? For that possibility? Nothing. No hatred, no resentment. No matter how she searched for it. She couldn’t confess how deeply that shocked her. Emotionally, everyone always hoped that they’d accept their partner’s children as their own, but the actuality of that often defied dreams. It was a rare person who could accept such a thing, even in Cali’s situation. To find herself even potentially one of them was humbling, too much, too quickly. Diversion needed.

“That’s one hell of a choice. A dead man, unknown entity, or a key to the gates of hell.” Cali made the understatement of the century after a quiet hissing whistle through her teeth. Remarkably, her tone remained as light as she intended the delivery to be, as if she was discussing what to order for lunch.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Le-” Cali couldn’t even finish the word. Her body moved on instinct, launching into Onyx’s space so that she could gather the smaller woman into her arms. Leave? Onyx couldn’t leave! No, her brain quickly caught up and corrected her internal malfunction. Onyx’s voice had been so small, the chirp of a bird compared to the roar of a dragon. Regardless, Cali was determined to provide shelter, to cage the willing Onyx within her loving embrace.

“Onyx, you died, I thought I’d never see you again. That I might never have another moment with you, even as you were reforming. Now, I’ll get to watch a baby Onyx Wren grow up! How could I be angry? I don’t care if this child is Dorran’s. Hell, even the Devil himself could be the father and I wouldn’t care. I want to be with you.”

“Even with a baby? A baby you didn’t plan, who m-might not even be yours.” Onyx’s words were serious, more so than any Cali had ever heard escape her gentle lips. They were warning, they were a siege to push Cali away even as Onyx hoped to keep her close. It was the last offering, the final out. Cali understood. Her answer here would shape her life. This answer couldn’t be about comforting Onyx, no matter her urges. It had to be truthful, no matter the pain, no matter…

“Yes.” It was the easiest answer Cali had ever given in her life.

“Onyx, we aren’t naturally biologically compatible for reproduction.” Cali’s obvious assessment earned a watery snort from Onyx.

“Whenever I daydreamed of having children, they were always yours. I was already committed to being a mother to any pet or child you had, to being with you. I want this baby to be ours, I want that more than anything.” Cali had to pause, to actually breathe and let her words sink in. Her chest hurt from how hard her heart was pounding, for how she longed for Onyx to want the same things.

“I’m here and ready to be whatever you need me to be for you both. If you don’t want me to be there as the other parent, I can be the cool aunt. Or a friend. Or a babysitter. Anything, Onyx.” Cali concluded, laying her offering out for Onyx to pick through. Silence dominated the room, save for Cali’s hurried breathing and the pounding of matching heartbeats. Or two heartbeats. Did baby have a heartbeat yet? How far along was Onyx? She made a mental note to ask.

“If you want to be, you know, their mom, then I’d love that too.” Onyx finally broke the silence with a soft yet sure voice, a shy smile tugging on her lips. Cali couldn’t help it, she leapt to her feet, letting forth an excited cheer. Finally, all her nerves burst forth, erupting in her version of a triumphant roar. This was HER family. Hers. Hers, hers, hers!

“There’s nobody else I’d rather raise a baby with. Nobody has ever supported me like you. I just don’t want to take your life away, or be a burden.” Onyx continued, reaching up to tuck some of her chaotic hair out of her face.

“Onyx, this isn’t about supporting you regardless of my own feelings. You’re not taking my life away; you’re giving me a life to fight for. A family. Onyx, our family! You’re having a baby, Onyx! It’s a BABY Onyx! Baby! Yours. Maybe mine. Maybe ours. I feel… just feel me, Onyx! Baby! You’re having a baby!” Cali tried to remain calm and mature, she truly did, yet the urge to move overcame her senses. She paced back and forth, using her entire body to emphasize her points. Big, sweeping gestures of her arms accompanied her escalating excitement, turning her into a goofy rendition of a car yard inflatable.

“Yeah. A baby. You… Sweetheart, can you sit down? Just watching you is tiring.” Onyx’s request was accompanied by a summery laugh, one which calmed Cali for all but three seconds. Then, it was back to pacing, phone whipped out of the pocket of her jean shorts so that she could begin to compose her list.

“Onyx, BABY! A baby! Our baby! We have to tell the others! I’m sorry but no more training for you! Also, none of the trash Darius calls food. We should probably look into supplements too, so that the baby is as healthy as possible. Should I call a dietitian for a food plan? And materials! Are you going to make your own maternity clothes? I got paid this week so I could totally go get some fabrics if you te-”

“Y-you want to tell the others?” Onyx cut in, alarm flooding her tone. Cali froze for a second, recognizing the way Onyx’s surprised voice dipped. Oh, Cali realized, she was behaving entirely differently to anything Onyx had experienced. To how Dorran had reacted. That was enough to have Cali’s internal beast snarling, hating how the past continued to hurt. Dorran had insisted on secrecy, on punishing Onyx. Increasing her training, increasing his bullying. Afterall, that had been cheaper than birth control, or a medically safe… Cali couldn’t finish the thought.

“Of course! Onyx, you’re pregnant! This is like one of the happiest days of my life! Top five, for sure! I’m trying to think of everything we need so that we can be ready for this baby. Like, we need to look into our insurance. I don’t think my workplace insurance covers sexy mamma’s who can turn into dragons. Or Assassins. Is there supernatural insurance I need to know about? Are there any doctors for, well, non-normal human pregnancies? Are there any magical medical guides for this? And birthing classes. We need to look into those too!”

“We…” The pondering tone Onyx used broke Cali out of her packing, leading her to look up from her phone.

“… Did I say something wrong?”

“No. It’s just sinking in, you know? It’s really nice to hear you say it. It sounds right.” Onyx explained, her face taking on a dreamy grin. She was so beautiful, glistening in the afternoon sun through the skyscraper windows. Even messy, Cali couldn’t think of anything more captivating than Onyx. Not the sirens of legend, not the most handsome of men. She doubted if the entire troupe, who were the most attractive people she knew, walked in naked that she’d be able to take off of Onyx.

“It feels right.” She confessed in a soft tone, unable to raise her voice above a whisper. The light in Onyx’s eyes… Cali had never seen something so pure. Green, like gazing up the sun through the underside of a wave. The gleam in them was more varied than a kaleidoscope of colours; brighter than diamonds. She had to look away, while her brain still had some function. There was so much that needed to happen, too many lists to write. Lists! That was a good place to start. Cali could do lists. She helped with stock intake, so a simple list on her phone would be a piece of cake! Oh, and her mother! She had to text her mother. Maybe there were some spare books…

“So, I’m going to text mom about getting some medical books out of storage. I’m pretty sure we didn’t sell all of them. They might have some more details on pregnancy. We have to come up with a way to justify everything, maybe we should discuss giving her sight. I’d prefer not telling her we’re fighting demons though. She’d absolutely spit if her daughter in-law was caught in that! Especially since you’re carrying her grandchild! I’d never live it down if I let you fight in your condition. It’d be “Cali, why are you making your girlfriend do everything? She’s pregnant! My grandbaby needs to grow!””

“Grandchild?” Onyx interrupted Cali’s exaggerated impression of her mother. Gone was the kaleidoscope, gone were the diamonds. The wave had crashed down, sending Onyx flailing into the wild tides of her worst fears without anything to hold her.

“She won’t hate me? She wouldn’t ever believe this child could be yours without knowing everything. She’ll assume I cheated. She’ll think I broke your trust and you’re just standing by me because you’re, well, you. You’re too good to walk away from somebody as broken as me.”

“Onyx, I love you. You are the most… I can’t put it into words. You are my… My light. You are not broken, Onyx. You are a literal dragon. Fierce, strong and beautiful. I am so in love with you that I cannot picture my life without you. This feels like my child already. You’ve only just told me and already I feel as if my heart will burst. Surely you can feel how much I already love them.” Cali almost pleaded, kneeling before Onyx. The current Envy assassin reached out, laying a single hand over Onyx’s quivering knee. Cali could feel everything, the tidal wave of anxiety and fears striking so hard and fast that she was almost physically knocked over. She countered, her mind parrying and weaving.

Pizza in a secret alleyway shop, the way hot cheese melted in her mouth, or the strings hanging from Onyx’s smiling lips. Little hands reaching, trying to steal pineapple as Onyx laughed. This was happiness. Love. Safe, secure, keeping their baby proceeded against her chest. So small, yet inspiring something so large. She had to protect, she needed to. Protect both the joys of her life.

The simple concept of the future flowed through their bond, a shield for Onyx to seek shelter behind. Cali herself was blown away by the intensity of her emotions for a distant possibility.

“I can.” Onyx breathed; tone full of wonder.

“I don’t know why I keep questioning you. You’re always kind and sweet. “

“People have hurt you, Onyx. I’d rather you question me a thousand times, a million times, than ever feel unsafe with me. I love you, and Mom can see how much more me I am with you in my life.” Cali insisted, fixing Onyx with an encouraging look before continuing.

“We had the talk when I told her I was bi. About if I ended up with a girl. We talked again after she met you, officially that is. I told her as long as I was with you, at least one grandchild would not be biological. If we even had children. She fully supports my choices and will love this baby with all her heart. She’ll probably spoil them rotten no matter what we say. She already loves you too! You’re the favourite daughter. She’s going to be so excited for her grandchild. Be prepared for a LOT of baby onesie- OH, this one’s cute! Onyx look!” Cali tried to remain serious, she truly did. Yet, curiosity had taken hold and her thumb had all but developed a mind of its own. Soon, she found herself glancing down at her phone, only to see a lovely pastel themed website, filled with baby onesies. Upon spotting a bear on the third row, she excitedly turned her phone to Onyx, which earned an actual squeal of delight.

“Oh my god, that looks like a little Ripley onesie!” Onyx cooed excitedly, leaning closer to support the phone. She couldn’t help but internally swoon over the adorable little bear onesie, complete with little pink pads on the feet. The little hood with adorable little ears, and the stomach patch. The tail, which concealed the buttons for easy changing.

“Right? I’m buying it! Ohh, it comes in purple! Should I get a little leopard?” Cali declared, reclaiming her phone and swiftly adding two versions of the bear to the cart. When Onyx didn’t respond, she paused, turning her gaze to the expectant mother.

“Onyx? Are you ok? Don’t you like them?” Cali asked, her voice going quieter. Once more, Onyx looked so small, trembling in the face of everything. Overwhelmed, Cali realized. Onyx was entirely overwhelmed.

“Cali. They’re both adorable. I’m just scared. How can you be sure Joyce will be ok with this?”

“Err, It’s my mom. She’ll just be thrilled to have a grandchild, no matter if they are biological or not.” Cali responded, unable to fully put into words how she knew. It was simple. It was her mom. Her mom who had supported her throughout life. Her interest in extreme sports, every bump, break and bruise. Her mom had been the first signing her casts, and selling the demon contraptions that damaged her daughter. When Cali’s father had walked out, her mom had been there, fighting to support a child emotionally and financially whilst she herself fell apart. Through teenage heartbreaks. When Cali hadn’t gotten a date for prom, it was her mother who had shoehorned her into a suit and driven her there. When Cali had finally come out as bisexual, her mom had been the first one demanding to know what type of girls Cali liked, gossiping about the boys Cali had only ever expressed interest in.

“But what if they come out with wings? Or, you know, not human?”

“Aside from me being worried how you’ll push that out of a hole the size of a lemon?” Cali questioned with a blink.

“Cali!” Onyx squealed in a mix of disbelief and horror. Her hands came up to her face, covering her suddenly flaming cheeks as she let forth an ungodly groan. Cali couldn’t help but be reminded of Ripley, how the bear concealed her muzzle when Onyx flew across the tightrope.

“Oh god, I don’t want to think about what its going to do to my… well, you know.”

“You’ll still be gorgeous, even if things are a bit different. You know, when I picture mom you, you’re always stunning. I can’t help but think our daughter will be scared her boyfriends will run off with her sexy mamma. You’ll turn into the sexiest MILF.” Cali purred, flopping onto the couch beside Onyx once again with what she hoped was a seductive grin. Strands of shaggy brown hair fluttered everywhere, sticking to Cali’s face in the most unflattering of ways. If asked, Cali would absolutely blame her uncooperative hair for her failed delivery, despite her history of appearing more like a vaguely romantic crab than seductive. Somehow, her dorky display calmed Onyx, judging by how tensed shoulders finally relaxed, and the show-stopping smile returned to her lips.

“That’ll be you, Sweetheart.” She purred in return, nuzzling closer. Cali’s phone fell to the couch, forgotten as the Envy assassin wrapped her girlfriend up in her arms. Both sighed. Everything was right with the world again, at least for a few moments.

“Mmmhmmm, agree to disagree. If our baby is born anything but human, then we tell mom the whole entire truth and teach her how to babysit. The troupe can’t always be around when we need naps, so mom will be happy to have a chance to spoil her grandkid rotten. Besides, she raised me, a dragon will be nothing her brooms of vengeance cannot handle.”

“But, what if the troupe hate me? I can’t help you guys like this.”

“You can’t turn into a dragon because you’re pregnant. That means you’re vulnerable, not useless.” Cali pointed out, giving Onyx an affectionate squeeze around the shoulders.

“Nitza will be after me. She’ll want me, and the baby.”

“I’ll die before I let anybody touch my family.” Cali growled; all traces of her humanity lost in a snarl vicious enough to rival any demon. She felt the rage bubbling, thicker than molten lava in the cradle of a volcano. It consumed, burning through her rationality until she couldn’t tell where her own protective rage ended and Onyx’s began. Onyx may be the dragon, yet Cali’s entirely human body produced sounds to rival Onyx’s alternate form. The former Envy assassin reached out, wrapping her own hand around Cali’s clenched fist, wiggling her fingers between Cali’s until the current Envy had to relax her fist. Had to let Onyx in.

“Ripley and I will protect you, we can take craving shifts! It’ll mean I won’t be on the streets with the troupe, but that does’t mean we can’t both help out here more. We can watch Avi, which will be awesome practice for baby. I can keep gear up to scratch, work on the bikes and you can have more time to design. I know your fingers must be itching to do something creative.”

“They are…” Onyx sighed l, seemingly content to have settled Cali’s rage. The blonde tucked her feet up onto the couch, barely pausing to kick her sneakers off before she wiggled her toes in silent satisfaction. Cali couldn’t help but tighten her arm around Onyx, smiling when Onyx responded by leaning into Cali’s shoulder, forehead buried in chaotic hair.

“but the others will be out fighting while I’m stuck here. It feels like hiding away and doing nothing.” Onyx trailed off, tensing. The sun set over beautiful greens when Onyx closed her eyes, the bedazzling piercing through her cheek acting like the moon across the skies of her expressions. For a moment, she trapped the soft, delicate flesh of her lower lip between gleaming teeth, as if gathering the courage to speak.

“I keep hearing Dorran.” The whispered confession had the dragon within Onyx roaring with rage, something which echoed through the bond. Cali shuddered, brows furrowing as spots took over her vision. For that brief moment she could feel it, the war within Onyx. The uncertainty and doubt mixed with rage. The latter, Cali empathized with. It burned just as brightly within her own heart, feeding into a loop of fury that promised to spiral out of control. Cali didn’t let it, she couldn’t.

Soft feathers, like laying on a marshmallow. The warmth of a spa day, the relaxation. Sticky and wet along the side of her head, into her hair. The rasp of an impossibly large tongue. Laughter. Pride. Love. The certainty of a promise.

“Ignore everything he told you.” Cali urged, barely keeping her opinion to herself. Now was not the time for her to rant about how pissed she was at her girlfriend’s ex.

“Onyx, you aren’t hiding away doing nothing. Not only are you holding a literal dragon back, you’re growing a person! Or a dragonling. You are doing the hardest job in the world. You’re creating a little Onyx! You’re nurturing and providing a safe place for baby to grow. You’re growing a life, Onyx, and sustaining them until they can sustain themselves. Even when you sleep, your body will be working. For nine months, you never get a break. That is way more exhausting than fighting demons for an hour. Can you imagine Cal’s face if he snarks at you? You can be like “Bitch, I grew a nerve cluster today, I’m currently working on a kidney.”

“Sweetheart… You have an answer for everything, don’t you?” There was no laughter in Onyx’s voice, despite the glee taking spark in her eyes. Genuine awe was slathered across her face, radiating until Cali could feel the accompanying emotions through the bond. The littler woman untangled herself from her partner, reaching out to take Cali’s hands for a few moments before her cheeks tinged pink. Without a word, Onyx lured Cali closer, placing the mechanic’s hands over her pale abdomen.

“Nup. I’m scared too, and excited. I just know that you’re my everything, and we’ll figure this out together.” Cali’s words were soft, whispered into the stillness they found themselves submerged in. Cali’s hands were burning, her palms prickling with the tingling heat as she processed what she was doing. Caramel and milk, that was the closest things Cali could associate to the swirl of their different skin colours. Her fingers looked so dark compared to Onyx, casting her in an exotic light, or perhaps Onyx in a mystical one. The duet of tones was dreamlike, earning the largest smile as Cali finally processed the meaning of the gesture. She stared, illogically fearing her callused hands might hurt Onyx and the baby. A breath, accompanied by trembling muscles the few moments before Cali surrendered and placed her hands flat against Onyx’s belly. It was unbelievable! Onyx had barely put on any weight, just enough to be barely noticeable, yet suddenly her body felt entirely new. The definition of her stomach was still there, all lithe muscle and sublime softness, yet there was more too. A curve, small enough to be imagination yet large enough for Cali’s hands to trace. To cup. To protect from the world. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill down her swollen cheeks as her smile grew large enough to rival the Cheshire cat.

“Oh, names! We need to start thinking about names!” Cali added enthusiastically, blinking away her tears. This was her future, sitting just beneath the palms of her hands. A little Wren growing, expecting them to have the perfect name. Cali began to panic. What name could be enough for their baby? Forget names, what title best fit until they decided? The baby was too clinical. Baby had that familiar quality Cali was looking for, but also couldn’t be the name they used forever.

“But I’m barely even showing yet.” Onyx playfully protested, bringing her hands to rest over Cali’s, holding them to her belly. Love. It was so pure, so overpowering. Cali lost it. Her tears began to trail down her cheeks, accompanied by little sniffles as she looked hopefully up to Onyx. Every hope and dream she had flooded the bond, sweeping them both away on a tide so impossibly sweet that the real world dared not invade. Even through their sniffles and tears, Cali laughed, appraising Onyx on a particularly important fact.

“It’s never too early to start thinking! Trust me, it’ll be the first thing my mother asks.”

[yesmooshoe]

hii! could you do #34 "please don't do this" from the angst/fluff list for ironhusbands? 💖

Whoops, this was supposed to be short but then I wrote 3000 words. WARNING - THERE’S SOME SMUT AT THE END.

Also, you can read it on ao3! Double also, feel free to send me a prompt if you want.

--

“Please don’t do this.” Rhodey said through gritted teeth as Tony inched closer and closer to him.

“Do what?” He asked nonchalantly as their shoulders touched.

Rhodey took a deep breath and took a step away from Tony while scanning the crowded Officer’s Mess, hoping that no one saw that. “Touch me.”

“I thought you liked it when I touched you.” Tony said, cocking his head and flashing a smile.

Rhodey could feel his blood pressure rise as he locked eyes with Tony.

He hated this.

He hadn’t seen Tony in 13 months, 12 days, and 41 minutes...not that he was counting. Tony had begged him on multiple occasions to take some time off and come meet him somewhere, even just for a night, but Rhodey hadn’t wanted to risk it. Tony was famous. Someone would have noticed that he was in Frankfurt, someone would have noticed that Rhodey was off-base, someone would have snapped a photo of them buying lube. It was too risky, way too risky.

But this? This was way worse.

Yes, Stark Industries was the main manufacturer of planes for the US Air Force. And yes, there was a brand new cargo plane making its’ debut tomorrow. So in theory, Tony being at Ramstein made perfect sense. Plus, everyone knew that they were friends. But no one, other than maybe Pepper, knew the rest. If anyone found out that he was gay, his entire military career would be over.

“Fine, no touching. Can we at least eat lunch together? I promise I wont fellate you in between bites of powdered mashed potatoes.” Tony teased under his breath.

Of course he wanted to touch him, wanted to hold him, wanted to kiss him. But he also just wanted to talk to him. They were always careful while communicating, knowing that Rhodey’s email and phone conversations weren’t necessarily private. They never said I love you, but they’d found other ways to say and show that over the years. Tony always sent really elaborate and thoughtful care packages whenever Rhodey was overseas, and Rhodey always sent Tony weird souvenirs and postcards whenever he could. Rhodey always closed his letters by reminding Tony to water his plants, and Tony always ended his saying that he hadn’t forgotten. Rhodey didn’t even have any plants, but that was their little way of saying I love you with no one noticing.

“I have a meeting.” Rhodey lied, worried that spending too much time together would raise suspicion. “Just...just come over tonight, ok? After 7.”

Tony looked annoyed, but nodded. It was the same expression he had every time Rhodey signed up for another 4 years, or whenever he told him that he was being transferred or deployed again. They both hated this, but they loved each other and Rhodey loved his job. And Tony never once asked him to stop, so all they could do was hope that one day they’d get rid of that stupid law.

“Fine. See you tonight, Captain.” Tony said as he walked away, heading toward the group of SI employees at the opposite end of the room.

--

Rhodey’s heart was racing again as the clock struck 7, and a million different scenarios started running through his head. What if Tony had done something stupid like buy condoms at the PX? What if someone saw him coming up here? Even worse, what if someone noticed him leaving in the morning? They were friends though, best friends. Everyone knew that they were friends and knew that they’d been roommates for several years at MIT. There was nothing wrong with him coming over and spending the night, right? He’d just tell everyone that they had a few beers and then Tony passed out on the couch. It’d be fine, right?

Suddenly, a knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He jumped right up and smoothed his pants out, not wanting to look like a complete mess, and then quickly crossed to the front door of his apartment, which he pulled open to reveal Tony. In one hand he was holding a pizza, and in the other a 12-pack of beer and a shopping bag.

Rhodey smiled at him as he stepped aside and let him in. He stuck his head out in the hallway to see if anyone was around, and once he was confident that the coast was clear he closed the door. Before he knew what was happening, Tony grabbed him, slammed him against the door, and started kissing him. Rhodey gave in immediately, running his hands up Tony’s back and tangling them in his hair.

When they finally broke apart, both breathless, they just stood there for a moment with their foreheads resting against each other.

“Hi.” Tony panted out as his arms settled around Rhodey’s waist.

“Hi. Missed you.” Rhodey said before giving him another peck on the lips.

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too. This has been a long one.”

“Just a few more months ‘til I’m back at Edwards, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Tony said as he pulled away and walked over to the counter where he’d dropped everything.

Rhodey came up behind and wrapped his arms around him, just so happy to be able to hold him again. “Well, we’ve got tonight, ok? I can promise you that.” He said in between pressing soft kisses to Tony’s neck.

Tony turned around and smiled at him, knowing that it would have to do for now. “And it’s going to be a good night indeed, Captain Rhodes.”

“You really like saying that, huh?”

“It’s hot.”

“Mmhmm.” Rhodey chuckled as he nuzzled against him. It’d only been a few weeks since his promotion.

“Oh Captain, my Captain, our night is just beginning, and I promise you it’ll be a wild one.”

“Not too wild, these walls are very thin.”

“Not to worry.” Tony said as he slipped out of his grip and grabbed the plastic bag. “Fear not, for I have rented several movies with lots of explosions that’ll certainly drown out all of your incomprehensible babbling while my tongue is buried deep in your ass in about 15 minutes.”

Rhodey could feel his cheeks getting hot as he looked down at the floor, always getting a bit flustered when Tony said stuff like that to him. “Did anyone see you at the video store? Does anyone know you’re here?”

Tony sighed as he played around with the VCR, which answered Rhodey’s question for him.

“Christ, Tony, who?” Rhodey asked, suddenly feeling anxious again.

“Calm down, ok? Look...Colonel Moore and Major Kirkland wanted to take me out to dinner, but I told them that I was coming over here to get you drunk and maybe beat your ass in Mario Kart a few times.”

“Moore and Kirkland? Tony, I work with them every day you can’t just go around telling everyone - “ Before Rhodey could finish his rant, Tony shut him up with another kiss.

“It’s fine. I promise you it’s fine. No one cares that I’m here, no one is suspicious, ok?” He said softly in between kisses. “I got pizza and shitty beer and even shittier action movies and as far as anyone knows we’re over here like a couple of perfectly normal straight dudes talking about tits and cheering when things explode, ok?”

Rhodey took a deep breath and nodded. That was certainly easy for Tony to say - it wasn’t his career and everything he’d worked for on the line - but he trusted him. “Well hey, I bet you’ll be cheering later when I explode in your ass, so I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

Tony laughed and shook his head while playfully shoving Rhodey towards the bedroom. “That’s the spirit. Now go on, I want you completely naked by the time I’m done putting on this movie to appease your neighbors.”

Rhodey just smiled at him and pulled his shirt off as he rushed into his room. By the time he flopped onto his bed he was completely naked, though he hadn’t been wearing much to begin with. Still, it had to be a record.

He propped himself up on his elbows while laying on his back, and a huge smile spread across his face when Tony finally joined him. They took a moment to just look at each other, and even though the sound of rapid gun fire from whatever movie Tony had put on kept it from being super romantic, much like everything else, it’d do for now.

Tony’s hair was a bit longer than the last time he’d seen him, and it seemed like the goatee was here to stay. He hadn’t been sure about the facial hair at first, missing the baby-faced boy he’d fallen in love with back at school, but it really suited him. “Your hair’s wet, was it raining?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“No, I took a shower. I’m not an animal.” Tony answered while pulling his shirt off and climbing onto the bed and onto Rhodey. He leaned down and kissed him again, though this time it was more soft and more loving.

They spent a while just kissing and letting their hands get reacquainted with each other. Rhodey’s cock was hard now, and pressed up against the annoyingly still-clothed Tony. He wanted more, but he also didn’t want to stop whatever this was. He’d been so starved for attention like this for so long, so he did his best to just enjoy the gentle caresses and the way Tony’s tongue seemed to be exploring every single inch of his mouth, even though he desperately wanted Tony buried inside of him.

Eventually Tony sat up, and Rhodey just smiled as he noticed how red and puffy his lips were from all of the action so far.

“Have you...been with anyone? Since...since last time?” Tony asked quietly while slowly circling around Rhodey’s nipples with his thumbs. They had a sort of open thing, but neither really cashed in on it too much.

“No. Have you?”

“No.”

Rhodey smiled. “I love you, Tony.”

“I love you too. Roll over.” Tony instructed as he shifted to the edge of the bed.

“Yes sir.” Rhodey said as Tony pulled off his pants and boxers, finally releasing his cock.

“Mm, I like when you call me sir.” Tony said as he straddled Rhodey again. “God your ass is amazing. I feel like people don’t tell you that enough, but it really is perfect.”

Rhodey smiled at the compliment, but he was also focused on the gunfire and motorcycles coming from the TV in the next room. For a moment he worried that maybe it was too loud and that the neighbors would complain. That’s all he needed, having to run to the door mid-sex while trying to pull his sweatpants on. He considered stopping to turn it down, but all of the thoughts left his head as he felt Tony spread his ass cheeks apart and slowly run his tongue up his crack.

“Oh fuck.” Rhodey moaned while tightening his grip on the blankets he was clutching. Luckily his bed was against an exterior wall, so he wasn’t worried about being too loud in here. As Tony continued to explore, slowly circling his tongue around the rim and prodding at the hole, Rhodey became painfully aware of how desperate his cock was for attention. It was pinned between his stomach and the bed and he tried to move a bit, but it was impossible with how Tony was holding him down. “Tony please…” He cried out quietly.

“Please what?” Tony asked smugly as he pulled away. He slowly crawled up on top of Rhodey and started grinding his cock against Rhodey’s eager ass. “Come on, what do you want, Sourpatch?”

“I want you.”

“Want me to what?”

“I want you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me.” Rhodey moaned again before Tony pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Good boy.” He said as he sat up. “Lube?”

“Night stand. Bottom drawer.” Rhodey replied breathlessly, still not quite believing that they were together again.

“Do you want me to use a condom?” He asked as he found all of the supplies.

“No, I trust you.”

“Okay. I trust you too. Ooh, Astroglide! How retro.” Tony almost giggled as he climbed back onto the bed.

Rhodey rolled onto his back and wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking himself slowly as Tony got settled again.

“Hey hey, none of that. I don’t want you cumming before I even get inside of you.” Tony teased as he opened up the bottle and squirted some of the clear liquid in his hand. “You want it like this?”

Rhodey nodded as he let go of his cock. “Yeah. I want to see you.”

Tony just smiled before leaning down to give him a kiss. “Good.”

Rhodey took a deep breath while Tony grabbed a pillow and put it under his back for easier access, and Rhodey just let his legs fall open for him. They locked eyes as Tony’s slick hand found Rhodey’s hole, and stayed that way as Tony worked a finger in and out of him. They kissed more as Tony fingered him slowly, and the sensation of their cocks trapped together between their stomachs was more than enough to make Rhodey start dribbling pre-cum.

“Someone’s excited.” Tony whispered between kisses.

“Just fuck me, please.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Tony said with a little salute as he sat up and pulled his fingers out of Rhodey’s ass.

Rhodey watched as he grabbed the lube again and slicked himself up, and he braced himself for what was coming next. He sucked in a sharp breath as Tony lined himself up and pushed into his ass slowly, doing his best to relax and take it.

“Fuck!” Rhodey cried out as he arched his back, easily taking Tony’s cock deep inside of him.

“Shh shh.” Tony said as he bottomed out. “Don’t want the Joint Chiefs to hear you. You ok?”

“Yes Tony, this isn’t my first Rodeo. Just shut up and move.”

Tony laughed again as he guided Rhodey legs up to rest on his shoulders. Slowly, he started to move, thrusting in and out of and finding a good rhythm. Rhodey was letting out little gasps with each thrust at first, and as soon as Tony started to pick up the pace he wrapped his hand around his cock and started stroking in rhythm with the thrusts. He forced himself to open his eyes, and he smiled at the determined look on Tony’s face as he loomed over the top of him.

“God Tony, I’m so close. Faster.” He moaned again, gripping at the bad with his free hand. This was all happening a bit faster than Rhodey had hoped, but it had been a while and he was certain he’d last longer on the next round.

Tony started snapping his hips faster, losing his composure as he got closer and closer to the edge. “Fuck, I’ve missed this.” He managed to say before grabbing Rhodey’s hips and slamming him back down on his cock as they both chased release.

They fell silent for a while, but the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin and a huge series of explosions from the living room.

It was Rhodey who came first, spraying his stomach with an explosion of creamy, white liquid as Tony continued to ride him harder and faster. It was becoming too much for Rhodey, overwhelmed by his own own orgasm. “Fuck, come on Tony. Give me everything.” He chanted through gritted teeth, which seemed to be just enough to push him over.

Tony came with an indistinguishable string of syllables, which he quickly muffled as he continued to thrust, filling Rhodey with everything that he had. They were both panting as Tony finished up and let his cock slip out of him, but despite how out of it Rhodey felt, Tony seemed to have a bit more in mind for this first session.

As Tony caught his breath he leaned down and ran his tongue over Rhodey’s toned stomach, lapping up the streams of cum that were splattered all over him. Rhodey just relaxed as Tony cleaned him up, tugging on his shaggy brown hair as he did. When Tony was done he crawled up and gave Rhodey a kiss, allowing him to taste some of the salty substance that remained on his lips.

“Do you want pizza?” Tony asked after a few moments of silence, which just made both of them laugh.

“You’re ridiculous.” Rhodey said as he playfully shoved Tony off of him.

“What? I’m hungry. And we gotta keep up our stamina. We’ve got 12 hours to make up for 12 months.” Tony teased as he sat up and ran his hands through his hair.

“You need a haircut.”

“Yeah well, I wanted to give you something nice and long to grab onto later when we get really dirty.” Tony said as he stood up.

Rhodey just shook his head. “Fine. But I’m taking you to a barber before you leave. Also, it’s not been 12 months.”

“Hm?”

“It’s not been 12 months. It’s been 13 months, 12 days, 7 hours, and 38 minutes.” He said as another explosion rang out in the living room.

“Oh, and I’m the ridiculous one? Come on, pizza.”

“Tony?” Rhodey called out as he started to leave. He wanted to promise him that they wouldn't go 13 months without seeing each other again. He wanted to promise that he’d be back in California soon. He wanted to promise that he wouldn’t re-up again when the time came.

But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. He shook his head, vowing to do his best to not dwell on any of that right now. They had tonight, and that was what was important.

Tony was just staring at him, confused by the silence. “Yes?”

“Nothing.  I’m just - I’m sorry.”

Tony walked back over to the bed and held out his hand. “Don’t be, I knew what I was signing up for, ok? Come on, pizza time. And if you’re lucky I’ll let you fuck me next round.” He said as he pulled him up and led him into the kitchen.

“Tell you what. Mario Kart. Loser has to bottom, all right?” Rhodey suggested with a huge smile on his face.

Tony just smiled. “Fine, but I hope you’re ready for me to ride your ass all night, Captain.” He said as he grabbed the box of pizza and headed for the living room.

Again, none of this was ideal. But right now, in this stupid apartment with thin walls in the middle of Germany, everything was perfect.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Short Cuts

So the reviews for Rapunzel’s Return are taking longer then expected and due to real life complications I’ve now fallen behind in my intended schedule. So in order to catch up, I’ll be doing a series of rapid-fire mini reviews of all the official shorts that the series released in addition to the usual reviews. 

Summary: Ten shorts were released throughout the three seasons of the show detailing Rapunzel’s misadventures in Corona. 

 Check Mate

Pascal tries to get Max to play chess with him, but the horse is too busy with guard duty to play. Pascal’s antics wind up causing a fire and Max must save him. 

This short, plus the later Unicorn-y short, and the episode Pascal’s Story pretty much confirms that chess is pascal’s favorite game. Shame that’s the only idiosyncrasy that the series gives besides being the conscious of the group that sometimes gives the other characters guilty looks.  

I said it before and I’ll say again, the animal sidekicks in the franchise don’t have enough personality to carry whole episodes by themselves, but shorts like this are ok and where things like this should have stayed.   

Prison Bake

Attila recounts how he used his baking skills to break his fellow pub thugs out of prison back before they met Rapunzel. 

This just raises so many questions. Why were they arrested? What was their punishment besides jail? Why weren’t they just re-arrested later after escaping? If they were all wanted criminals before meeting Raps then why did they try to call the guards during the movie to collect the reward money on Eugene’s head? Do we really think “crack-down on crime” Frederic would pardon them before Rapunzel’s return? How do we know they weren’t just framed given how shitty Corona’s legal system is? 

Like I just need a tiny bit more context show. Two to three minutes isn’t really long enough to set up conflicts. These shorts should have been more like five or six minutes really. 

Also Ludwig the Castle Cook is also just wasted. They built a model for him and hired a VA and everything and all he does is appear in this one short and nothing else. Like I think he makes a non-speaking cameo in The Alchemist Returns or something, but that’s it. It’s a clear mismanagement of resources.  

Make Me Smile

Rapunzel tries unsuccessfully to make Old Lady Crowley smile, but it’s not until she holds an honest conversation with the woman does she find a solution. 

This is best short out of the bunch, and not just cause it stars the great Pat Carol either. 

This is how Rapunzel should have been handled in the main series proper. Which is why I screen-grabbed this whole convo. It’s perfect. 

Rapunzel spent 18 years lock in a tower. Of course she doesn’t understand different perspectives from her own cause her development has been stunted. She’s compassionate but lacks empathy. So she has a hard time connecting with others, but once she slows down an actually takes the time to listen to people she is capable of learning. 

We needed more of this; just on a larger scale. Have Raps make mistakes, have people be annoyed with her or right angry when she messes up, and then have her learn. 

Why the series thought it was a good idea to have everyone kiss her royal arse instead while she dug in her heels and consendinly took charge of everything even while still screwing up, I’ll never know. 

Hare Peace

Feldspar asks Rapunzel to take care of his “precious”. Rapunzel thinks he means a pet rabbit, and is run ragged trying to keep up with it, but it turns out he was talking about his prized cabbage instead. 

These shorts overall work a lot better than the main show. They know what they are and don’t try to be anything else. Therefore they deliver what is promised competently. They’re nothing amazing nor groundbreaking and in truth I wouldn’t want a whole series of them, but I get the feeling this is what the head executives at Disney were expecting when they signed off on the show and not whatever mess the main series turned out to be. 

Night Bite

Rapunzel, Eugene, and the animals are out camping for the night and Max gets irritated by all the bugs. 

What doesn’t work so well is the placement of some of the shorts. This particular short aired during season two and indeed that would make sense given that they are camping out here. Which why would they do that if they were still in Corona... 

Yet some of the later shorts, which also aired during season two, clearly do take place in Corona debunking that theory. Just some context would be nice show, that’s all. 

Also this short is meh.. not bad, not, good, just there.  

Hiccup Fever

Rapunzel gets the hiccups and everyone in Corona seems to have advice on how to get rid of them, but only Eugene has the solution. 

I’d argue that this is the funniest of the shorts. I legit laughed out loud at some points which is rare. 

However it does sadly prove on thing. 

Rapunzel was always a shit girlfriend, even before season three. 

Being a douche to your boyfriend isn’t funny show. 

Snowball

Rapunzel and Pascal plan to have some fun in the snow and things go awry.   

So where and when is this exactly?

Unlike the other shorts, the context and setting for this one is paramount to whether or not Rapunzel is a simply lazy or a an outright dick. 

For you see, Rapunzel had never been outside in the show before Queen for a Day. Ergo, this can only take place during the latter half of season one or during season two. 

Now season two makes a lot of sense. They’re at some cabin in the woods that was never mentioned are seen on screen before and this did air during season two anyways. If that is the case then Raps just avoiding her planned road trip like always. 

However, the last short and the next two also aired during season two and all of those do take place in Corona during season one and even the wiki states that they were all meant to take place during season one in original concept. 

Yet if that is the case then Rapunzel is ignoring Varian right now and playing around in the thing that almost killed him... 

Oh and that still doesn’t explain where this cabin is. Is it the mountain retreat that the King and Queen were going to spend their anniversary at? 

What’s really mind boggling though is that they made this short in order to reuse the character models from Queen for a Day in order to save money, but then went and built this whole set that’s never seen outside of this short. 

Like seriously who was on charge of the budget decisions in the series? 

Hairdon't

Rapunzel offers to cut Eugene’s hair but then messes it up. She spends all day trying to stop Eugene from seeing his new do, but turns out the hairstyle becomes a hit with the Corona townspeople. 

Rapunzel seriously lucked out here and it borderlines on the main series style levels of BS. She asks Eugene not to get upset before he sees what she’s done and, guess what, he is rightly upset. 

Honestly the series needed to let Eugene get angry at Rapunzel for stuff. That’s what happens in relationships, you will make your partner mad at times and that’s ok. It’s all about how both of you handle that. 

We never get to see how Eugene and Rapunzel would handle a real ordinary conflict and not just magic/ex girlfriend shenanigans that don't end with them putting off talking about it. 

Even their best episodes in season two still are over conflicts that don’t have any immediate impact on their lives and are mostly hypotheticals to them, like kids or how other people should approach dating. And of course by season three Eugene is just reduced to a doormat. 

Unicorn-y

Rapunzel tries to help Vladimir find his missing prized unicorn figurine in this spoof of old detective movies. Turns out Max and Pascal had found it and were using it to play chess. 

Ok, first off, Eugene has the patience of a saint and deserves so much better than Raps and her bullcrap here. Same goes for Lance who is tied up as well during this scene. 

But also this is another short that needed to be more than three mins long. The “mystery” is over before it even starts and the film noir parody only barely has time register in the viewer’s mind and then it’s over with. 

Shorty’s Theme Song Takeover! 

The last of the shorts aired after the show had ended as part of the Disney Channel’s on going promotional gimmick “Theme Song Takeover!” 

Shorty finds Rapunzel’s journal and sings his own version of the show’s theme song, “Wind in my Beard”. 

It’s ok. 

All of Disney’s animated shows for the 2019/2020 line up has done one and some are funnier than than this and others not so. The Shorty one is pretty middle ground but what makes it work is that Rapunzel is completely oblivious to what’s going on and only Shorty, always the anomaly of the series, can perceive the fourth wall. Thus proving he was never really human. 

As for placement, we know it’s season three cause of Rapunzel’s dress and they’re mostly likely inside the Snuggly Duckling right now. So just slot it in wherever you see fit. 

Conclusion 

That’s it for the shorts. The rest of Rapunzel’s Return should be up later this week and then hopefully I’ll be all caught up in time to cover the next episode next week. 

[feyborns]

AU IN WHICH NIMUE WAS NEVER SHOT WITH THE ARROW/OR SHE WAS SAVED AND REUNITED WITH THE REST OF THE FEY. Lancelot and Squirrel have also joined the camp, and it’s been a few weeks since they’ve all come together. (Pls don’t give me shit if something is not accurate. I loved the show and liked the theory of these two being a thing so PLS. Fan fiction is called fiction for a reason ok thnx)

The night was still, as the only thing to be heard was the crackling from the dying fire. Nimue silently curses herself for being one of the last few awake, as her eyes settle across the flames against the logs, they meet his. Was he a night owl as she was? Apparently so. A sigh emits into the vicinity, and she hates how quiet it is. Her village was always humming with life, and she clung the camp for the fey close to her heart as it mirrored her village in that aspect. Someone was always awake, up to something. Oceanic hues squeeze shut if only for a moment as she remembers their few days of bliss within those confines. Hidden away from the rest of the world. But most importantly, the Red Paladins. Optics narrow then, at the Weeping Monk. He’s given his true name, but she refused to give him the honor of using it. Even her thanks in saving Squirrel were limited. She loved that little boy, and hated that monk. His intentions were still unclear to her, and as she thinks of the Red Paladins, she’s reminded of his actions as well. He doesn’t meet her gaze from across the fire pit, but the way he avidly he avoids it shows he knows that she’s eyeing him carefully. Squirrel sort of looked up to him now. As any child would after being rescued in such a manner, but Nimue still held her guard up. She wouldn’t be considered Queen of the Fey if she was so easily trusting outsiders. Especially ones who had massacred his own kind. Still - it was clear that Father Carden had made his mark on him. Mentally and physically. And despite her best efforts, the heart kept behind those guards felt for him. Pitied him. Felt sad for him. Ripped away from his own culture, his people. Used as a puppet for majority of his life. Never knowing anything else. The way he saved Squirrel made something clear to Nimue, though. He couldn’t deny his true self, and when they came for a child, much like himself back then, they couldn’t allow them to murder him. He looked at Squirrel as if he was looking at a reflection of himself.

She’s stirred out of her thoughts only when he stifles up a cough from the back of his throat, meeting her gaze if only for a moment before averting it immediately back to the grass. “Something to say?” She questions, though she knows he was just trying to get her to stop eye boggling him. “No.” He mutters in that hushed tone of his, and for a moment she feels bad. She wished she didn’t. It would be so much easier for her if she was able to keep up this hardened shell toward him. It was, unfortunately, coming undone. He was an asset to the Fey, of course. He was an extremely skilled warrior. A master of the sword he weilded. It stirs an idea up within inside of her. “Could you teach me some of what you know?” Motions toward the weapon, and all he offers in response a swift nod.

A week later.

She’d never seen him so lively. So full of movements. But as he weilded the sword toward her, she’s awestruck. Father Carden was a beast, and a monster. A vile creature. But he surely toward Lancelot well. She’d retracted her earlier sentiment about using his given name - as their dusk meeting to fling swords at one another had become an every day thing. It seemed only respectful. If he was going to teach her, it was the least she could do. She felt like a master with the Devils Tooth already, but she knew it was the Hidden that guided her. There was room for improvement when it came to her fighting skills, and she found herself growing fond of the time they spent together. A part of her still hates herself for it.

“Distracted, today?” He questions, monotone as he is, he peers at her carefully. She shys away from his gaze, chocolate tendrils doing well to cast over her cheeks as she shakes her head.

“Never. Just awaiting your next move. I think I can already guess what it is.” She taunts, though there’s a mischievous grin settling upon crimson lips. And for the first time, she thinks ever, Lancelot is cracking the tiniest hint of a grin - before leaping forward into another lunge attack.

Two weeks later.

Sweat glistens in the rays of the sunlight, bouncing off the pairs bodies. They’d finished their practicing for the evening, and were now heading toward the lake to cool off. However, Nimue halts at the foot of the water, as Lancelot had already shed himself of his clothing, waist deep into the water. She’d only shown herself fully to Arthur - and he’s there in the back of her mind. Back at their makeshift camp, he was helping hunt for dinner. Gods, what’d he think of her right now? About to undress and indulge in a swim with someone who was once their enemy. It makes her stomach flip.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Applies the cool water to his long locks as he speaks, and she thinks herself he looks more so like an angel as opposed to what Father Carden had called him his whole life. A demon. She chuckles faintly, shaking her head. “Can you turn around?” He obliged without hesitation, and she appreciates that of him. Quickly, she’s tiffing off her garments, before slipping into the water. Careful to cover the entirety of her body.

He remains still though he had to of heard her come into the water. His back remains facing her, and it’s impossible not to notice the abundance of scars scattered about his shoulders and entire backside. It reminds her of her own, and she feels compelled to reach out and touch them. The pads of her fingertips smooth against the redness, soft. She didn’t want to startle him, but he tenses at the touch anyway. Something she expected. It’s abrupt, as he turns around, palm grasping fully at her wrist. “Don’t.” The single syllable leaves her frozen in place. Or perhaps it was his close proximity? A combination of both, she decides on.

“I’m sorry. We’re just... alike.” And she moves to find a grasp on the hand around her wrist, surprisingly he allows her to do so. The expression on his face was that if curiousity, as she moves his limb to rest against her shoulder blade, his fingertips mirroring her actions just seconds before. “See?” It’s a mere whisper, and when she lets go of him, he keeps it in place. Breath appears to be stuck in the back of her throat, and for a fleeting moment she’s thinking of Arthur.

It’s all flushed away as she makes a rather confident and last minute decision - pushing up the balls of her feet, it’s enticing as their lips meet for only a brief second. She’s petrified he’ll be disgusted. He’ll push her away - but wasn’t she supposed to be the one appalled with him here? Yet, he doesn’t move. He keeps the closeness between them, and she takes it as a motive to continue. Pressing full lips firmly against his own, petite hand finds place within his curls, and she feels as if she’s going to faint when he kisses her back.

It’s messy, and rough. Just like him. But she doesn’t mind. She never thought she’d want this, or stare at him long enough to wonder what his lips tasted like, but here she was. Finding the answer to that question. They tasted of salt, a mix of the water and the sweat from their pretend battle. Their tongues dance with one another, and goosebumps arouse her fair skin as his large hands find residence against her waist. Why was she craving this touch so badly? She doesn’t know, doesn’t have a clear answer. But as he does so, a muffled sound of pleasure emits into the others mouth, and she’s glad his eyes remained shut, as her cheeks flushed.

It’s as if her mind as gone completely blank, and all of her caution was thrown out the window. She’d never ached for someone this way, and she props one of her legs up around him, tugging him in flush up against her nude body. This earns a grunt of approval from him, and she yearns to hear more of them. It’s a swift action as her back is being pressed up against the side of the lake. Not a tactical place, but she wasn’t complaining as their lips continued to mesh together. She feels him between her legs, and can tell he’s not quite sure what he’s doing. It then dawns on her that he’s probably never done this before. Probably has never even kissed a girl before.

“It’s okay,” she whispers, breaking their kiss for a moment, her breath hot against his. “I want this.” Evidently she finds this is the only thing he needs to hear, pushing himself inside of her, slowly at first. The two’s noises of pleasure mix with one another in the air, as he’s beginning a rapid rhythm of thrusts inside of her. It was only the second time she’d done this, but why hadn’t the time with Arthur felt this good? Felt so right? It felt like Nimue and Lancelot were entangled within each other at this moment. Completely in their own world where the lust they silently held for one another could finally exposed and truly felt.

Grunts continue as his hands wander her body, exploring, and she likes it. It seemed as if he wanted to know every dip and crevice of it, as he was deep inside of her. Nimue’s head falls backward, mouth agape as his thrusts only quicken. He takes this opportunity, lips attaching to the exposed porcelain skin, nipping at sucking at the area. She feels ultimately euphoric as they reach their climaxes together.

It’s silent after, as he’s still inside her. Almost as if they’re both afraid to move and disturb the peace they’d just felt. However, the serenity could only last for so long, as he’s shifting his weight and moving a bit away from her, but not too far.

“Maybe we are,” he starts. “... alike, I mean.”

[commenter2]

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart trailer analysis

For those that haven’t heard yet, Insomniac Games has released a trailer for there new Ratchet & Clank game yesterday, called Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

I don’t think I need to say how excited I am for it but I’m going to anyway. IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS GAME ! For those that haven’t heard about it yet, here is a link to a video showing the trailer for the game as well as gameplay of it:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsnG-3-r6-Q

The game looked so amazing that I did na analysis of the trailer last night and thought Id post it on my Tumblr page for anyone to read. HUGES spoilers ahead. Also I apologize or the spacing as for some reason I can't separate the paragraphs any longer then they are now.

First is the trailer

First off we get a shot of the amazing animation of the game till Ratchet & Clank drop in, literally, but did they just come out of a dimensional rift ? This has to mean the Dimensionator has to be involved in this somehow. We then see another amazing example of the games design and graphics of what looks like planet Sargasso (which would be cool to go to again) till Clank brings up how they need to get to something, the Dimensionator maybe ?, till he is distracted by an Antropod/Terratrope followed by another rift releasing robots shooting at them and though I’ve seen the trailer already, I quickly got a Dr. Nefarious vibe from them.

Then something unexpected happens as Ratchet RIDES the bug and uses it to take down the robots ! Now I haven’t played Spyro in years but that charging attack reminds me a bit of the charge attack Spyro uses in the games, did anyone else think that? If that was on purpose then its nice to see that Insomniac Games still remembers there roots which gives me comfort with them making awesome Spider Man games in the future without worrying about them ignoring there Ratchet & Clank fans.

After some animal handling gameplay, Ratchet and Clank are thrown into a rift and we see a series of shattered pink/purple glass images of places only for them to quickly grind and slide though two planets, maybe existing ones at the night one kinda looks like Veldin while the city one could be Metropolis or Meridian City, with Clank saying the dimensions are weakening which again backs up the idea of the Dimesinator being involved.  I do want to say that during the quick grind rail segment, the Grind Boots looked much better in design compared to there previous appearances, which were kinda lazy in my opinion. I hope this means they and the Gravity Boots will be different in appearance instead of in color. I should also say it shown that you can DOUBLE JUMP while grinding, which is a cool small change for the iconic mechanic.

We then see Ratchet ride another animal, this time with wings, on planet Torren IV which though I’m not 100% sure I think I saw a Hoverboot boost pad. Could the Hoverboots be in the game ? Before I continue I want to say the idea of Ratchet riding and controlling animals is a really awesome idea, not only would this be an interesting twist to combat in the game but it would also be another interesting way to travel throughout the levels, which Id be ok with doing IF the Hoverboots aren’t in Rift Apart.

Either way this ends quickly as Ratchet & Clank hop to another planet, a new one according to them but again teleport to planet Ardolis where Ratchet fights robot pirates (AWESOME) who are dealing with a creature. I wonder if Captain Slag and Rusty Pete will be in the game ? During a fight we see Ratchet uses a new weapons, specifically a new BLASTER like weapon that has a rapid-fire feature, which I am thankful for cause I couldn’t take another game with the Combuster.

The fight quickly ends as the explosive barrel explodes and Clank gets thrown through a dimensional rift and is separated from Ratchet, NO ! but also AWESOME cause it gives a A Crack In Time like vibe. The hype is then taken up a notch where its revealed that Clank is on a planet run by none other then DR. NEFARIOUS, Clank saying they are to late, meaning those robots at the beginning WERE his and he is somehow causing all of this, maybe.

Speaking of which Im not sure how I feel about Dr. Nefarious being the main antagonist of ANOTHER game. Don't get me wrong he's still an awesome character but it would also be nice to face a new villain for a change, plus it makes me nervous that this could mean Nefarious could be defeated once and for all which could ruin a big part of the story of the R&C trilogy finale I made some time ago.

HOWEVER I think we can all agree that the biggest thing about this trailer is that while Clank is calling for Ratchet a blue and gray/white colored female Lombax with a robotic arm appears wondering who Clank is talking about, which again gives off A Crack In Time like vibes and…..she’s carrying a hammer ? A bit odd since Lombaxes are affiliated with wrenches but its still an amazing idea. Then we get the name of the game which though I hate to say, the text makes it looks a bit bad as its looks poorly rendered especially at the "and" section and what’s that thing between the words Rift and Apart ? Is that a dimensional rift ?

Other then that the trailer is amazing.

Now for the gameplay

So Marcus Smith does confirm some things about Rift Apart like how this will be a full length game and how those things teleporting Ratchet & Clank were dimensional rifts that will allow them to teleport form planet to planet which though cool its goanna be a bit sad not being able to use Aphelion in the game, I wish she could have more speaking roles in games as she IS one of the last few things from the Lombaxes.

He also says that the new graphic allows them to put something called ray trace reflections on Clank, which along with some other people I’ve seen, I agree makes him look really odd. Hopefully before the game comes out they fix this by toning it down  and maybe add a bit of white in there like his older appearances. He then says that the planets are denser with new creatures and that Ratchet has a new arsenal, which sounds perfect to me. He then states that R&C is close to the company’s hearts and can’t wait to show more of it, which again gives comfort.

We get to the gameplay and immediately were introduced to a new mechanic where Ratchet uses a gadget called the Rift Tether to go through a yellow rift similar to that scene in Avenger: Infinity Wars where (spoilers) Thanos uses the stones to pull Dr. Strange closer to him, pulling the area around him towards him in the process. We then see Ratchet fight a Thug for Less enemy, which is cool but not surprising since there were many signs that this game would make references to there other games and this is confirmed seconds later where we see Ratchet fight some Sandsharks. We also get to see several new species of aliens here.

During the Sandshark section we do see a NEW comet strike as unlike in previous games the Omniwrench is thrown diagonally and it looks like it returns to your hand faster. I feel like this change was done for the new female Lombax as I feel like she can do the same thing but since her melee weapon is a a hammer, it wouldn’t really work (or make since) if thrown horizontally, and it would be confusing to have two character with two different ways of throwing there melee weapon. Though I’m not that big a fan of changes I don’t really mind it, heck maybe its a one time thing.

After some more chaos like a giant tentacle creature coming out of the portal, similar to the one in the trailer, and what looks like an Ultra-Mech Unlimited crashing through a walkway Ratchet and Clank were in we get some interesting content in the next cut. One is Ratchet saying something about “break reality” again telling reality is coming apart because of theses rifts, quickly followed by Clank saying Dr. Nefarious has come out of hiding after years of hiding to take over the universe again which means that this IS a post Into The Nexus game, as I’ve seen some people debate about if it is or not.

We get another new game mechanic during the fight with some thugs. It seems that Ratchet can now jump to his left or right in order to avoid incoming damage by using a thruster on his boots, could this mean the Hoverboots are really in the game but are damaged ? It would be cool if during the game Ratchet & Clank or Ratchet goes to Azimuths house on Torren IV to find something about the Dimensionator but also find a part needed to fix his hoverboots thus letting Ratchet use them to get around, especially if the part of the trailer of Ratchet and Clank getting separated IS true.

Were also introduced to new weapons here. One is called a Shatterbomb, the bomb glove weapon, The Enforcer a shotgun like weapon and the Burst Pistol which is the blaster shown in the trailer and would explain its rapid fire ability. The most interesting weapon shown so far is the Topiary Sprinkler, a weapon that when thrown forms into a sprinkler that can project plants around it and shoots out a stream of water that can stop enemies in there place, plus I bet the plants around it is a form of defense system to protect the sprinkler for a time.

The gameplay ends with Ratchet destroying some Robomutts and going though a hallway where a statue of Dr. Nefarious or a mech in his image can be seen but also there is a moment where a purple energy ways rushes through the surrounding areas, just like in another R&C game but that’s for another post, no spoilers now.

Wow that was a lot to write but that’s because there was SO MUCH going on in theses trailers and I’m pretty sure I missed some things. I’m already working on a theory on what’s going to happen in this game, which will most likely come out during the weekend so stay tuned for that.

What were your thoughts on the trailers ? What was your favorite moment in them, and did you noticed anything in them I didn’t talked about ?