#ok no problem. you'll just go online and get it right?

[son1c]

What’s scalpers? Is it a new idw character? I haven’t read the most recent one

god i wish i was you

[224bbaker]

So, hypothetically speaking, if someone had never been interested in Sherlock Holmes before but wanted to get into it because of Fawx & Stallion... Where should they start?

Oh my GOD, anon, so upset we didn't see this until now because what a great question and also, our show inspiring someone to go check out Sherlock Holmes?? Deeply upsetting for our characters but SO exciting for us!

Hopefully since you sent this you've just dived in to the stories--because, honestly, that's how both of our writers got into them as kids, and also because despite what roughly 40 contradicting scholars will try to tell you, the timeline is nonsense and Watson's continuity doesn't make sense (we have made our own peace with this and addressed it in-universe because we didn't want to go on deep-dives to decide what puns we were allowed to use for the place we're at in the timeline it's fine, we're fine).

However, just a quick sidebar before we jump into The Stories--if you would rather start with an adaptation than the original ACD stories themselves, there are two options we'd recommend as starting points that are pretty true to canon while remaining engaging in and of themselves:

The Granada TV series with Jeremy Brett and David Burke/Edward Hardwicke: It rules, and most of it's on YouTube! Highly recommend their Solitary Cyclist, Speckled Band, Scandal in Bohemia, and Blue Carbuncle (we may be biased towards the early, David-Burke-Watson entries). These actors and sets are what we picture when we read Holmes.

For an audio adaptation, the 1989 Bert Coules radio adaptation, which you can get for a single credit on Audible in full and has basically the whole canon! Incredible dramatization work that preserves the stories and really deepens the character work in a way that we're obsessed with. Big fans!

If you're liking the vibe of these, you'll probably like the stories themselves! In which case, there are also awesome online book clubs like Letters from Watson that have great communities here on Tumblr (just peruse the tag, it's super fun!), and also over on Discord.

SO. If you're still here and looking for our direction on the stories:

If you just want to start with what is/will be relevant to Fawx & Stallion, we recommend:

Our goal is that our audience doesn't NEED to have read any Sherlock Holmes to understand anything in F&S. We'll hopefully lay things out or give context clues. However, we do have little jokes for the fans, and in season 2, some subtext may be a bit clearer, or have a bit more weight, if you've read some of the stories.

A Study In Scarlet: I know, I know I know I know, Holmes fans, the Utah Mormon stuff, I get it, BUT. Holmes and Watson meet in this one, and it's incredible. The first few chapters of them meeting, starting to live together, going from roommates with a mutual fascination to, through Watson's unintentional insult of Holmes's writing and a fateful invitation to a crime scene, actual friends, are electric. It's a crime (pun intended) that we have so few dramatizations of this in the canon era (we're trying to fix that), we love it so so much. Sacrilege, but, wikipedia the stuff in the middle, enjoy the fantastic meet cute that bookends the thing.

Hound of the Baskervilles: Happening during the events of Fawx & Stallion season 1. I don't need to tell you this one is a banger, we all know this. Less Holmes content than you expect, but a GREAT setting, mood, and roster of suspects, and a thrilling, well-paced mystery with some great Watson.

The Final Problem: Occurs right before the events of season 2, and though you again don't need to have read it, some stuff might hit better if you have, particularly in the back half of the season. High recommend. On the same note, The Beryl Coronet is also mentioned a few times, which is the case right before this one.

Ok, with that out of the way, we highly recommend:

The "Jump Around To Whatever Short Story or Novel Sounds Cool" Approach

This is the move, in my opinion. As I've said before, the timelines are nonsense, you CAN try to get into the weeds of continuity as we have and there is delightful madness to that, but would I recommend it as an intro? No. They're short stories! They're serialized! Treat it like a TBS rerun series at 1 AM and just pick one that is on/sounds cool!

Now, if you want our PREFERENCE? There are different genres of Holmes mysteries, different types of mysteries for different preferences, but we're going to recommend one particular sub-genre of Holmes mysteries that we find particularly fun/unique: The "It's Not Necessarily A Crime Yet But the Vibes Are There" Mystery.

We love these. They're the best. Not depressing or gruesome off the bat, usually starting with some whimsy at Baker Street, these stories usually begin with a client coming to Holmes and the following interaction happens

CLIENT: Um, hi. Honestly it's pretty silly that i'm even here. It's probably just a Weird Thing, you probably don't-- HOLMES: No no no please tell me I love Weird Things. CLIENT: Ok. Well. My boss/guardian/brother/[insert-person-who-has-power-over-them] has been doing this Thing where he [insert extremely weird thing that again, is not a Crime, but the vibes are there]. It's kinda weird. HOLMES: Yeah, super fucking weird. CLIENT: I know! But it's not a crime, so I don't know, you're probably not interested, I'm just a [not rich not male not high class not privileged identity] so there's really no point in checking that out-- HOLMES: No girl (gn), we are DEFINITELY checking that shit out there's a crime in there somewhere and we're gonna find it!

And we're off! If this sounds interesting to you (and it SHOULD), check out: The Solitary Cyclist, The Red Headed League, The Copper Beeches, The Greek Interpreter, The Speckled Band, The Stockbroker's Clerk, The Musgrave Ritual, The Resident Patient, and honestly probably some others we're missing because it's REALLY common.

Other fun Holmes bangers:

Holmes overworks himself and Watson takes him to the country to rest, only to solve ANOTHER FUCKING MYSTERY: The Reigate Squires

The Christmas One!: The Blue Carbuncle

The Dancing Men: I don't have a fun little thing for this one it's just a banger and the Granada Adaptation rules!

The One Where Sherlock Holmes does NOT fall in love with Irene Adler but does get completely owned because 1) he thinks women don't get up early, and 2) he wanted to have a sleepover with Watson: A Scandal in Bohemia

There are a ton, and hopefully you'll find one that you like and just jump in!

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Thinking about disabled AK!Jason tonite with a disabled s/o

Let's be fr this man could/should be an ambulatory wheelchair user but he won't because he doesn't know that's a thing and wouldn't think he deserved it. If you're an ambulatory wheelchair user maybe one day you manage to lovingly bully him into just TRYING it and it is life changing

He uses his ambulatory energy to do Red Hood shit nbd

if he doesn't use a wheelchair he's got at least 2 braces--shoulder and knee

Baby has chronic pain, arthritis, chronic migraines from being beaten

Missing some teeth too

take this boy to your neuro or your ortho!!!! he is totally unaware he does not need to live like this. better living through chemistry

let's get him some therapy too

you WILL have to go to his drs appointments with him. mans WILL freak the fuck out for ANY medical procedure, has very serious medical abuse trauma. if he can see how your drs help you he is much more likely to go if he can see that you are benefiting from your providers and that they haven't harmed you

if you're scared of drs he will FULLY stand behind you. probably not that healthy tbh but he gets it

having a special Migraine Protocol for each of you (it's basically just a snack and a drink, blue light filter glasses, a sleep mask with headphones for that special Migraine Playlist)

make your own pain scales and talk through frequency of pain bc when you have constant or near constant pain it fucks up your ability to quantify it so making your own pain scale is helpful (he probably uses shakespeare plays or authors. like a 5 for jason is twilight, because you can see some problems but it's fun and fluffy but when you start looking closer OH NO SO MANY PROBLEMS)

pain meters on a wall near the kitchen so you can know what you're working with

CBD patches

the AK suit is basically a giant brace/mobility aid so you help him figure out how to adapt it for his red hood persona, how to make it lighter and allow for greater ROM

will remind you to do physical therapy

resistance bands ALL OVER THE HOUSE

learning bodywork techniques

AT LEAST once a week using a special oil or lotion to work into some of his bigger scars to make the tissue more mobile

giving him a back/neck/scalp/face massage

after a while obvi that's a lot of trust he's putting in you

NOT deep tissue. don't hurt him more. you can have effective therapeutic massage without hurting a person

trager work involves basically shaking a limb and letting the weight of the muscle do all the work but it feels weird the first time and he'd just start laughing at you

specially if you do his glutes

but it feels really nice so he stops laughing and it does help his lower body pain

putting magnesium lotion on each other's neck and shoulders

start to ask each other "are you angry or in pain?"

hand massages

teaching him to stop pushing through the pain

one of his knees is basically bone on bone so you always know when the weather is changing

if u both have bad knees u just don't even when the weather is changing. take some pain meds, use your topical pain reliever of choice, prop those joints up and snuggle in bed. watch a youtube series or he can read to you

heated blankets as heating pads supremacy

occasionally he'll be in pain and the kind of pain where you feel like you're going insane, so as a distraction he will go online and buy a bunch of weird pain-relieving gadgets and you'll spend a week trying them out

(sometimes his pain fog shopping spree is blind boxes, or nail polish, or statement shirts)

all of his siblings know to come to your place if they get beat tf up because your medicine cabinet is UNreal

you're about to give cass or steph a Controlled Substance Pain Reliever and you pause "this is technically drug dealing, isn't it? dOn'T teLL rEd hOOD" jason is literally patching them up right next to you

soft blankets

reminding each other it's ok to take it slow

he's constantly tearing into the other rogues for not having ADA accessible lairs (except Ivy who successfully argued that the plants make it ADA accessible which will do. FOR NOW.)

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

PICK A CARD / PICK A PILE : WHAT DO YOU NEED TO REMEMBER? TIME TO MOVE ON AND LET GO OF OLD ENERGY.

I'm so excited to do this one. This is to help you get into that goddess frequency a bit more. So everyone who's connected to their divine feminine should definitely let go and see what's in store for them in the future. Are you ready? Lets go!

PILE 1 - Dedicated Effort / Love Abounds

This group needs to dedicate time to building an altar for themselves. Mirror work should be done frequently, and more openly. Letting the world shape your perception has helped you forget who you truly are in the inside. So working through those emotions and ideas of yourself through the mirror is what's perfect for you in the long run. In the mean time, taking you're self out to cute solo trips & dates, making money in some online business of some sort (or may through apps) can be a way to bring more self-love to you. Capricorn energy is precise with this group, as it's felt heavily. Money-making abilities is strong with this group and could be the reason for any lack of self love. You're a Goddess and can attract money like no other, so put more focus in your finances and you'll see a new you blossom in the new few months, easy. Use your reality as inspiration on where to get the community to follow your lead. As you do lead by example, let them surprise you with whatever it is you need help with, this is also related to a business. I think ya'll should get into it ;)

PILE 2 - Joy & Stability / Share The Love

You guys have strong, beautiful auras. Full of deep love and compassion for all that you meet. Your beauty is expressed in the way you help others and be of service to them. You may have dealt with people who've played with your kindness and made it out to be a weakness but that is not the case. Be more open to embracing this true beauty as it is a wonderful gift, and it will propel you high in life if you allow it. Remember that your value is higher than most can put a price on. Your built for a reality that is out of other peoples leisure. Luxury, Beauty, and Love is a theme for this group because you're meant for bigger and better things, am I right? So don't lose your head about what others think of you to be. You're much more than that. Another thing I want to say for this group is to live a little, share the bounty of joy you carry in you and never waver it for people as this is a healing gift for a few of you. Never take your happiness lightly, its a blessing after all.

PILE 3 - Patience & Planning / Rest & Rejuvenate

You guys need to hold on and smell the roses a little. Take a needed vacation and get out of town. Revise a little. You guys need to cope with something related to the past and spend more time giving yourself that needed love and attention you've been holding off on. Be more open to seeing the bigger picture to where your life is headed. You're a star waiting to burst, you know that right? You need time to move slower than usual because now is not the time to rush things and dive head first. Doing that will only cause problems in the long run, stress may have been big for this group.. but I want ya'll to know that stress can't run the show forever, you gotta choose you at some point. Whatever and WHOever is burning you out needs to be cut short so that you can breathe. So that you can believe what's in store for you will come when it's time and not when you feel it should be. Just be open to what God/Universe/The Divine has in store for you for the next 5-6 months, ok? k :)

PILE 4 - Take the Lead / Giving & Receiving / Love

This group has tiger strength. Phoenix energy. You guys have been through a lot so to speak. And because of all you've been through, you've made it back up to your most godly self. Confidence is a theme for this group and being the star of the show. You have to let go and be the main character of your reality, no matter who's tuning in. Jealousy/Envy is another theme for this group because secret enemies (for a few it could be close friends and family) could be the reason you've felt so down about yourself. And now you're literally being called to be in the spotlight in some way or form. Try vlogging, or speaking your truth or about topics you love, showing off your beautiful looks, and even just being an open arm for people in your life and your community. Finding a way to allow your spark to show is something significant for this group. So I hope that helps in the long run, be blessed.

[yandere-paramour]

Hmm ok! I understand (Isekai person)

Well can you possibly then instead do the Yan's with a transfem darling? Both of these are kind of me coping with the election actually djdjdj like I imagine them being really helpful and supportive throughout your transition in different ways

Sorry it took me so long! I've been busy and I wanted to do it properly. I hope you enjoy it!

Vivien is a raging bisexual so when you tell him you're a girl, he is so happy for you! Seriously he is smiling and jumping around, asking if you guys should throw a gender reveal party. Honestly, he designates the whole day as a holiday, he calls it "Girl Day". He makes some of his herby cocktails and bakes some sweets and you two have a little party together, celebrating you finding your true self. He immediately changes his verbiage and now makes a point to compliment things he knows you're changing (he already tells you how amazing you are 10 times a day but now he's being more specific). You both paint your nails together, and he will gladly go to the mall with you to pick out new clothes. If you do decide to go on with E and undergo medical procedures, he will be so so nervous but so so supportive. Nevertheless, Vivien will sit beside you, making jokes and throwing playful compliments your way to ease your anxiety; rubbing your shoulders while reminding you that he’s happy for you and this is what you've been waiting for. He's nervous for you having surgery and he's ecstatic when you come out unharmed, complimenting you on your new boobs/vagina. He'll even bake you your own pussy cake! Anyone disrespecting you is getting cussed out at the very least, fought at the worst. You deserve to be able to walk the streets as yourself and he will gladly make sure you can. He's just so happy to be with you and now he's happy you're happy in your own skin!

Noelle already knew. She makes a point to know everything about you so this came as no shock to her. Still, she listens to all your words and reasons, letting you talk your thoughts out as much as you need to. She encourages you to be as feminine as you want to be, and she will gladly fund your online shopping addiction. She isn't afraid of needles, so she can help with no problems, and you'll get a kiss and cuddle for being so brave. If you decide to medically transition, she will be there the whole time, grilling the doctors with every possible question about side effects and recovery. She stays the whole time you are unconscious, nervously sitting in the corner of the waiting room with her laptop as she tries to hold back on asking the nurses for another update about you. When you're home safe, she coddles you, washing your hair and helping you to the bathroom, reminding you that it's okay to take it easy because you're fragile right now. If a certain day is hard, Noelle is right there behind you, rubbing your back as she tells you how beautiful and lovely you are — how nothing could ever change how highly she thinks of you. While these dysphoric thoughts can be hard to get rid of, she wants you to know that she’s there to comfort you. Whatever you request, no matter how big or small, she’ll make sure to deliver it. She will take care of her girl, you know that for sure.

Atalanta, as always, is supportive and understanding. When you tell her, she hugs you and thanks you for trusting her with such an important topic. She is so proud of you for finding yourself and she supports you wholeheartedly. She asks what your preferred name and pronouns are, as well as nicknames and bedroom names you are comfortable with. She wants to be exactly sure of everything because the last thing she wants to do is upset or offend you. The second you walk away, she is frantically googling everything. She obviously knows about trans people (and publically supports them, we support trans rights on this blog), but this is personal. You're her Darling, she needs to support you during this time as best she can and she needs concrete advice to do that. Your relationship with her remains the same, if not stronger. Now she has an excuse to accompany you on numerous shopping sprees, helping you try out clothes to find your new style; you even meet with her personal stylist! When you tell her you want to medically transition, she takes it very seriously. Only the most experienced gender surgeon will even speak to her Darling, and a nurse will come every day to give you your injections. She’ll be there with every single appointment, nodding and asking questions when she sees a chance to ask. Her presence intimidates the doctors but she would never let you go through this all alone. She wants you to be as safe as possible. Anyone who disrespects you mysteriously disappears.

[la-cosmonauta-extraterrestre]

How to learn physics as an adult

I'm creating this post in response to some posts @un-ionizetheradlab made the other day, but I'm creating this as a guide to anyone this is relevant for. It's going to be a long post, but pick and choose what to do from this list based on what works for you and what your goals are, whether it's just to gain basic scientific literacy or become a physicist (or something in between). Also remember that it's a journey not a sprint, so it's ok if you don't understand physics at first (and if it makes you feel better, physics was one of my worst subjects in school and now I have a master's degree in physics). Without further ado:

First Thing's First

There are some mathematical methods you need to learn to understand physics; there's no way around this:

Vectors: This is the most important thing to learn for physics, how to use vectors. It seemed every mathematics or physics class I took in my first year of my physics degree started with an introduction to vectors, and for good reason. You can learn about how vectors work on Khan Academy for free.

Matrices and Tensors: Once you've mastered vectors, learn about matrices and linear algebra, and perhaps go on to learning about tensors once you're at it. You can at least get the basics about matrices from Khan Academy, but you might want to invest in a linear algebra textbook.

Calculus: I said vectors are the most important thing to learn for physics, but it actually might be calculus. If you have absolutely no previous knowledge of calculus, you can watch the video "Calculus at a Fifth Grade Level" on YouTube; it's a little more advanced than fifth grade level but can give you a good feel for what calculus is about. Once you've done that, there are multiple calculus courses available on Khan Academy. There's also a calculus course available on Brilliant, but it might only be available through the paid version.

Ordinary Differential Equations and Boundary Value Problems: You don't need to learn these right away, but if you want to do physics at the upper undergraduate level, you'll need to learn these at some point.

2. Learning to Think Like a Scientist

Some suggestions of apps and things to watch if you don't know much about science so you can start thinking like a scientist:

SciShow: If you don't know much science at all, SciShow on YouTube is a good place to start, I used to watch it and as I recall it's more focused on life sciences but there's some physics videos there, too.

Ciencias De La Ciencia: This is sort of a Spanish version of SciShow but it's more physics-focused. At least some of the videos have subtitles if you don't know Spanish.

Cosmos: If you haven't seen Cosmos (either the old version with Carl Sagan or the new version with Neil DeGrasse Tyson), it's very good and at least some of the episodes are available for free online. It's more pop-science and history of science than actual science content, but at least they make a point of using anecdotes from the history of science to illustrate how the scientific method works.

Sabine Hossenfelder: Highly recommend her YouTube channel; she's one of the most intellectually honest scientific communicators in the world nowadays. Her videos are a good illustration of how to think like a scientist. She also has a blog and has written a few books.

Brilliant: This is an app with mathematics and science courses that places an emphasis on problem-solving. Most of the courses are only available on the paid version of the app (but you should be able to get a discount on it if you're subscribed to any mainstream science YouTubers), but even the free version gives you access to a few courses, plus a forum where people post problems. I had this app back in the day and liked solving problems on the forum (no idea if it's changed since then).

3. Books to Study

If you're committed to learning physics you should study from some textbooks:

Physics LibreTexts: This is a whole collection of university-level physics textbooks for free online. It's an invaluable resource for learning physics. Use it to learn classical mechanics, electricity and magnetism, modern physics (but don't jump into quantum mechanics straight away if you're just starting out in physics).

Landau and Lifshitz Course of Theoretical Physics: This was the physics school curriculum in the Soviet Union; it's a little dated now but if you're just learning the basics it can't be beat given the excellent pedagogy. It's easy enough to find copies of it online, especially on Russian sites. Most if not all of the textbooks in the series have been translated into English, but if you know any Russian, the original is easy to follow.

Introduction to Electrodynamics by David J. Griffiths: Once you've learned mechanics, modern physics and some electricity and magnetism get yourself a copy of this textbook; you can get used editions on Amazon for a reasonable enough price. American physics majors are obsessed with this textbook, refer to it as the Bible, and for good reason.

Every Life is on Fire by Jeremy England: This isn't a textbook, but reading it took me back to my statistical mechanics class and it's way more readable than any actual statmech textbook so if you are interested in learning statmech, this book is a good start. It's actually a general reading book about England's ideas about the origin of life, interspersed with some parallels to the Hebrew Bible because England is also a rabbi. He actually has some interesting ideas about the philosophy of science, though they can be difficult to get behind, so if you're interested go listen to a podcast where they interview him (obligatory I don't condone the Kahaneist politics he sometimes promotes).

4. Learn About Research and Experiments

Physics is an experimental science, so expose yourself to some experiments:

Look for PDFs of high school physics labs online. You can find some for free and it should be cheap enough to do the experiments at home.

Read scientific papers on topics that interest you to try and understand what's happening today. If you find them difficult to understand, try reading older papers and go from there, for example, in undergrad I did a research internship relating to neutron stars, but I found some of the recent scientific papers difficult to understand, but reading the 1938 paper "On Massive Neutron Cores" by Oppenheimer and Volkoff helped me to understand neutron stars better. (When I returned to some of those same papers during my master's degree, I was proud to have understood them well.)

5. Take University-Level Physics Courses

You can take university-level physics courses without committing to a degree:

Search online for MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses). You can find MOOCs on multiple sites about many physics topics, and they're often free (sometimes you have to pay for them).

If you live in the United States, you can take physics classes at your local community college.

You can enroll in online physics courses through Open University, based in London but you can take the courses from anywhere. It's expensive, but you pay by the credit so you don't have to pay for a whole year of tuition if you're just taking one course.

If you happen to have free time in the summer and the money for it, many American universities (and elite British universities) offer summer courses that one can enroll in even if they don't attend the university. These are usually in-person classes.

6. Get a Physics Degree

Getting a physics degree is ultimately the only course of action if you've decided to become a physicist, the recommended course of action if you're ultimate goal is a PhD in the history of science or philosophy of science, and a good idea if learning physics has made you want a career in science communication of science education. There's no shame in being a non-traditional age student; in both my bachelor's and master's degree in physics I knew students who were non-traditional age. The downside of this is that it's a bad financial decision to get a degree, especially if it's a second bachelor's degree, but there are ways to lessen the financial burden of a degree:

If you attend an American university with American tuition, you can usually get an on-campus job, though that's pocket change compared to the costs of tuition.

On the bright side, if you already have a bachelor's degree you can probably get credit for general requirements at American universities, so a second bachelor's degree in physics might not take long.

You can also do a part-time degree while you work at many universities.

Just some general advice, if you go the American university route go to a university with a Society of Physics Students and get a student membership in American Physical Society; you get all kinds of benefits like access to Physics Today magazine, scholarships, internships, conferences, an honour society induction.

All that said, it's difficult to attend an American university without losing money. For that matter it's difficult to attend any university in the world without losing money, but you can lessen that burden by going to a country where university is cheaper. There the limiting factor is going to be language; although English is the international language of physics and the medium of most postgraduate physics degrees around the world, physics bachelor's degrees are usually in the local language. Some possible exceptions I found to this, for those who are not fluent in a language other than English:

Apparently there are world-class English-medium physics degree programmes in France? I figure there must be some kind of catch given the way the French are about their language, but given the high research output France has in physics, this is worth getting into.

There are English-medium physics bachelor's degrees in the Czech Republic, and tuition there is pretty affordable (for the English-language degrees; it's free for Czech-language degrees if you happen to be fluent in Czech). I don't know Czechia to have a lot of physics research output today, but back in the day Prague was a major centre of scientific research (Einstein briefly lived and worked as a physics professor in Prague), so it you're goal is to do a PhD in the history of science...I'm just gonna say that there's an English-medium physics bachelor's degree programme at Charles University and you'd have time when you're not studying to explore the city and it's history (but you should learn some Czech if you're going to live there).

University degrees in South Africa are usually English-medium, and tuition there is pretty affordable. There's also a fair amount of research output from South African universities. (Though I understand not wanting to live in South Africa.)

[lemon-wedges]

Just wanted to ask (and feel free to not answer), but how do you draw so much so quickly? I'm always impressed by how fast you doodle or paint. Also, wanted to say that I appreciate your Barok and DGS art as a whole.

and with this ask i have finally reached an artist milestone 😭

Well theres a short answer and a REALLY long answer (which ill put under cut when i get there).

short answer: practice + refs

which.....can be an annoying thing to hear. And as someone who studies art and has bought a LOT of online courses trying to figure out how industry people can just churn out work like nothing. it feels like a let down every time i find out their big secret. just practice and photo refs. Every. Single. Time.

LONG ANSWER:

its how you studying your refs. heres how i do mine

sorry if this is rambly. but ill try my best to at least be clear. BUT THIS is the EXACT way i taught myself how to be quicker.

I do not know if youve taken any art classes but essentially one of the ways to study gesture drawing is by first tracing ur photo ref to get a sense of the flow/proportions of the body. youve probably seen a billion of these tutorials floating around:

So last year around hmmmm june/july? i was NOT looking to get better at my anatomy or gesture. i was actually trying to get better at clothes. but my problem was it took me so long to draw out a figure (which i was fine with cause i liked how my people looked at the time) that i could never really just focus clothing part.

So i told myself look. ur not looking to draw in this style like this forever. so for now SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY!!!! I WANT THE BAREBONES OF A HUMAN HERE TO MAKE A MANIQUIEN FOR CLOTHES OK

but how do i do that....

Im gonna use this piece as an example from my rise and yosuke fashion palooza month. FIRST u see i got all my photo refs together. i like those poses on the right and i want to switch out the clothes for the other ones i picked out. i trace out my poses. kind of like the tutorial up top but since this is about draping i was focused the exact places their waist/arms/legs/etc would bend.

and like the tutorial u turn off the photo ref and do a drawing based off that traced piece.

then i would turn on my refs and add on my clothes

And after a month of just doing that over and over and over. i was surprised to find that figures and poses were so much easier to understand when i would break them down like this. and once u get familiar with them the faster and more confidently you'll draw them.

I and still do this btw. heres my otasune from the last week

i used photo refs for all my sketches. if i cant find anything online to match what i want i just take photos of myself. and some might say well arent u just relying on reference TOO much?

AND AGAIN take it from someone who has spend a lot of money buying classes from their fav artists in the industry. The Secret of how they churn out so much cool work so fast always turns out to be this. practice and photo refs.

Every. Single. Time.(tho this is omitting a lot. im not getting into like they way they stylize their art work. that actually the fastest and funnest thing to do once u have ur base down)

Now PAINTING

The thing is, i dont actually post up all my work on this blog. So theres a ton of stuff you havent seen me do. These are some paintings i did 2 years ago for a class.

I already know how to pick my values and set up lighting. When you see me painting my figures now. i am not focused on learning these basics im actually just honing a technique.

you might see me post readmores with these kinds of wips. I lay in all my colors and lighting with the lasso tool. ALL THE MAJOR DECSIONS ARE DONE HERE

(the little miniature i add on the side basically tells me what the overall feeling is going to be when i blend in the lineart to be cohesive with my colors) ( also if you had any questions on my prepainting process tho. feel free to ask!!!)

and if you compare this wip to my finished piece youll actually find that i dont stray that far from what i've laid in.

everything happening at THIS stage is about feeling out how i want the textures to blend with one another and getting funky with some brush strokes.

and thats it? im not sure if any of this is helpful but if anything. i hope you come away from this feeling like what ive been doing here is nothing special. "THATS IT???? THATS ALL THERE IS??? well i could have done that :T"

exactly man. you can do ALL OF THIS aND MORE!!! I BELIEVE IN U :D

but ill let this be the last thing i leave u with my friend: my barok sketch and the refs i used for his boobies

[vorish-wonderland]

You're really cold today... you really just want a nice snack to keep you warm... luckily, you find the exact person who can solve your problem! Now all you have to do is... convince him to let you do it...

Includes: soft/safe vore, semi-unwilling prey

★✦Nice And warm!✦★

☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

It's so cold out today...

You could really use a nice, warm snack right now.

Nnnnm... but what could you get that is easily available?

"Hey, uh... you sure about this, Ortho? I-I could just send out the drone and pick up our order from the school store... w-we don't have to go out..."

There we go. Idia Shroud, the boy with fire for hair... he'd warm you up quick!

"Come on, big brother!! You have to get out sometimes! I know you like to stay inside but that isn't healthy!!" Ortho pouts.

"What if I get kidnapped by ghosts agaiiiin?!"

"That's why I'm here with you!"

The brothers enter the school store together... and you follow close behind.

The brothers pick up a manga box set, and you pick up a potion that both shrinks someone and can pretty much protect them from everything for about a day. Sam really does have everything, huh?

Both you and the brothers pay for your items and leave.

Alright, time to inquire.

"Hey, Ortho, can I steal your brother for today?" You ask, finally making yourself known to the two.

"Hm... are you gonna hurt him?"

"No."

"Are you gonna try to marry him?"

"No."

"Then I don't see why not!"

"WHAT?! ORTHO, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET THEM TAKE ME LIKE THIS?!"

"You need to interact with people more, big brother! It's healthy!" Ortho pushed Idia towards you.

"I-I interact with people! I go to b-board game club meetings, r-right? A-and Muscle Red, w-we interact, e-even if it's just o-online!!" Idia seems desperate to just head back to his room. "And Ortho, w-we just picked up the full manga set of MGIATTSPCF20,000YITF! W-we were gonna read it together-!"

"We can read it tomorrow, big brother!!"

"Oh by the way Ortho I'm gonna eat him. Don't worry though! I'm gonna make sure he's safe!" You hand the robot child the potion you just bought. "Here's proof!"

Ortho looks over the bottle.

"Ok! But if you hurt Idia in any way, I'll surgically open you and remove my brother from your stomach, understand??" Ortho closes his eyes. You assume he's smiling, but you can't be sure because you can't see his mouth. Regardless, he looked cheery.

"I understand!" You grab Idia's hand and start to drag him off. "I'll bring him back to you later!"

"I'll bring our box set to your room, ok big brother? I'll be sure to keep it safe!!"

"Uh... alriiiight..." Idia sighs as you drag him off.

You bring Idia back to Ramshackle and feed him the potion. After a while, he's no bigger than the palm of your hand.

"H-hang on, before you do anything, w-why eat me of all people?!"

"Because I'm hungry and chilly. You look like you'll fill me up and warm me up."

"Y-you do realize my hair isn't real fire, right?"

"...whatever, you've already drank the potion." You gently pick up Idia. "In you go."

You place him in your mouth and swallow him.

"I feel like I watched something like this once... except it was a lot more violent... and you're fully clothed..." Idia sighs. "And I'm not gonna die, which I guess is a good thing? Meh..."

"Uh... ok. Anyways this is pretty nice and warm, even if your hair isn't real fire like you said... thanks for this!"

"You pretty much forced me into this but uh... no problem???"

[kokusfluffyhair]

Tahomaru tries to help you

⚠️ this is a dribble stemming from personal issues of being in a very dark place. Mentioning of suicide, social situation problems, depression, minor PTSD attack, poor living conditions. Read only if you're comfortable with these topics. Please do not ask me if I'm ok. I'm struggling but getting through this, and I'm using this piece to try to help myself cope, and who knows, maybe it'll help someone else too. ⚠️

Also sorry in advance for all the pics. It's a bit oversaturated

+ you have been without hot water for 6 days, with outdoor temperatures nearing freezing at night. You find yourself shivering especially on this 6th day after your heated-water-on-the-stove shower, a recent online interaction having sent you spiralling through painful memories.

+ and we won't even go into the communications with the landlord that day

+ you feel that a worthless, incapable piece of shit like yourself does not deserve any happiness or comfort. After all, you're just a lazy, psychotic human who's had so much given to you, right? Maybe your own feelings and perspectives on your struggles are not valid enough

+ you become engulfed in the memories of being isolated, pushed away, unappreciated, unwelcomed in social situations, the heavy pain in your heart and soul eating you up from the inside like a black hole to swallow you up

+ your mind can't stop. You have to keep remembering these times to validate your own incapabilities, your own failures, your own psychological struggles that prevent you from doing what for most people is normal

+ no one is there to help you. You feel so cold, both inside and outside. You wash your hands in the sinks ice cold water as you put on your skincare to try to put something normal into your life

+ how you could have used that warm, purifying shower to wrap you in its embrace. If you couldn't have a person, then you could let your skin pretend that it was feeling such soothing contact from the outside

+ you didn't want to call tahomaru. He was the only one you felt you had, but you didn't want to burden him. What if he also would invalidate you? What if he would also end up sending you both into a fight of a "my life is worse than yours" argument?

+ but you needed him now. How you hoped you wouldn't be seen as a thorn in his side. Sometimes you were afraid to communicate with him. You were starting to get clingy towards him, and whenever you got in a relationship where you really wanted the other person's friendship and attention, they would start to distance themselves from you. Right now, you couldn't bear facing tahomaru do that to you

+ you were on the last string of your rope, you felt. One more smash of pain into you and you might just end yourself

+ no, you would not do that. The risk was too great that you could end up deformed or seriously disabled. You would just maybe mentally burst. "Just" mentally burst.

+ you called tahomaru, who after hearing you weren't feeling well, immediately offered for you to come to Daigo Castle. It was always a strange experience being transported back in time and part way across the globe, but you had gotten used to it

+ tahomaru greeted you with a hug and immediately noticed how cold you were. "Y/n? What happened? You'll get sick this way" He didn't hesitate to take off his haori to put over your shoulders. He ordered mutsu and hyogo to have the staff make some hot tea and brought you to his quarters.

+ he let you change into some of his spare clothes and set up one of those heated table things idk if they were in the sengoku era or not,but they are now. Deal with it

+ you've shivered less since being with him and he has seen how bad you were feeling and did everything he could to make you comfortable

+ but tahomaru is nosy, too, so he asked you what happened. When he heard that you didn't have hot water for 6 days, his jaw dropped not like the average person in the sengoku era had hot water but tahomaru always got a heated bath so he can be like "wtf you're living how?"

+ "why didn't you come sooner? You can't keep living like this, y/n. You deserve better" He gives you some blankets to warm you up more and then decides to sit behind you and embrace you. "Stay here with me. Is this better?"

+ he's so warm and soft behind you, yet he feels strong too. It calms you a bit to feel his strong arms around you. For this moment, you feel like there is someone to fight for you

+ "i didn't want to burden you with my negativity." You hesitate to say the next part, but you do. "When I'm in a bad place, people always leave me"

+ tahomaru holds you tighter. "You mean so much to me. I would never leave you. If you're down, that means you need me more than ever. I promise. As your friend, I'll never let you be forsaken"

+ you find it hard to trust him. You're sure that one day, he'll have had enough of you

+ "y/n..." He notices everything. "Y/n, you don't trust me. Do you..."

+ "I'm afraid you'll hurt me like all the others. Yeah."

+ "I won't. I promise. You mean so much to me, and...you know, I'm lonely too." His voice gets a little sad. "We can be lonely together."

+ you hug his arms that are around you. Tahomaru gets even closer and embraces you tighter, pulling into his soft chest.

+ "I'm going to take care of you. I promise."

+ after all the heartbreak and pain you've experienced with other people, you still don't believe him, but you'll believe him for now. In this moment, he is there to support you and comfort you. Right now, that's what matters

+ when the hot tea comes, he loosens his embrace and sits next to you. He occasionally asks you if you are warm enough.

+ "stay the night. Then tomorrow, I'll go hunt something for you and cook it myself. It'll make you healthy" He's so proud of this idea he has

+ his words bring tears to your eyes. Someone like you doesn't deserve such kindness, yet you crave it from the deepest corners of your soul

+ when tahomaru sees that you're holding back tears, he looks like he is wondering if he did anything wrong. "Hey, y/n, did I make you sad?" He immediately hugs you, almost knocking over the tea

+ you shake your head as he hugs you. When you rest your chin on his shoulder, he puts his hand gently on the back of your head

+ "I'm here for you and I'm going to do my best so you feel better. You're important to me. Can you remember that you're important to me?"

+ you can only wonder for how long tahomaru would feel that about you

+ tahomaru starts to rub your back. "You mean so much to me. I'm here and I'm not leaving. I'm going to make sure you're OK, no matter what it takes"

+ he offers to play a game with you to try to get your mind off of everything that is troubling you. He wants you to know that whenever you are with him, you are safe and you are not alone. He manages to choose some silly game that makes you laugh

+ you fall asleep cuddled with tahomaru under a warm blanket, soothed by his body heat and the kindness he showed you. As long as you were with him, you were protected both physically and psychologically.

+ maybe you could stay there a few days and hope the hot water is fixed when you return

+ "y/n. I'm coming with you to make sure that thing is working properly."

+ maybe tahomaru can be a little too protective, but you appreciate it because he will stand by your side and fight with you

[sophia-sol]

the saga of my most recent efforts in maintaining my personal website, over the course of a couple days:

just spent some time updating the custom css for my linkding instance....nobody gets to see the results of that custom css but me, but I was able to fix some irritating aspects of the view that I hadn't done properly last time, and I am pleased!

SOMEDAY I will update my linkding to the most recent version! and then will be able to do some customizing to the css on the guest view!!

looking at the notes I took last time I did a linkding update....not inspiring, lol! last time I tried multiple avenues of attack and had to end up doing it the "stupid way" :P and then I had to reupload my bookmarks from backups, bc the fresh install didn't maintain the bookmarks, but I have so many bookmarks that linkding doesn't like to upload them all in one file, and it's a huge pain!

I should gird my loins and do it before the year is over though. I will be so much happier with the updated linkding!

hot damn I DID IT. I did it!!!! my linkding is now version 1.36.0 (latest) and I am soooo proud

and now, if you go to linkding.aviansoph.com you'll be redirected automatically to the shared bookmarks page! which is set up with some custom css so you can actually see all the details of each bookmark, laid out nice and readably, on a page that should respect your system's preferences for lightmode vs darkmode! my linkding is FUNCTIONAL!!!!! as a place to direct people who want to see all my recs! I'm so happy

aw heckity, I do still need to laboriously upload all my bookmarks from my manual backup. I somehow managed to port over a months-old version into the reinstall, and I did a lot of bookmark editing in the intervening months, so this is insufficient. OH WELL that's doable at least!

ok NOW I am done! my linkding shared bookmarks are a beautiful and useful thing I can show off! https://linkding.aviansoph.com/

oh shit did updating linkding somehow manage to break the javascript on the rest of aviansoph.com????

WELP I restarted my vps to see if that would fix the javascript problem, and a) it didn't, and b) now linkding isn't loading at all. my gloating was premature!

....how does a person go about trying to debug a server. where does one start.

ok so I got my linkding instance back up and running so that's all successful now! but javascript is still broken on the main site, even though it's working in linkding I am currently working my way through trying to figure out how to update my ubuntu, since it's out of date, but the standard commands I'm finding online aren't working and so I am in the weeds of trying to parse the troubleshooting options I'm seeing I think I will not get aviansoph.com's js functional again tonight. an ongoing project.

(the next day)

it's funny how much figuring out tech stuff is just about learning the specialised vocabulary, so as to comprehend what people mean when they explain things

how many different browser tabs does one person need to have open in order to figure out how to make their gd ubuntu actually agree to upgrade

"become a computer nerd" they said. "it'll be fun!" they said. I'm putting on my clown shoes.

wow the version of ubuntu I installed on my vps when I got it last summer reached end of life like a month after I installed it 🙃

I think? I might have successfully gotten my ubuntu upgrade to start????? thank u to this nerd for the info: https://dandraka.com/2020/05/31/how-to-upgrade-ubuntu-from-an-unsupported-version/ anyway now I am in the "wait for a couple hours" step so we shall see how it goes, but I am tentatively hopeful! 🤞

so the upgrade worked and I'm running a recent long-term stable release of ubuntu now. and my linkding is still working! but js is still not functional on the main aviansoph domain and I'm not sure how to approach this one. the temptation is to just rewrite the pages to not need any js anymore lmao but I don't think that's the Right Answer

great news! the js error is one I accidentally introduced several weeks ago, and then just didn't notice it wasn't working till now! it's fixed now, thank u rae, and my website is ALL FUNCTIONAL again HOORAY!

(the next day)

I figured out what a robots.txt file is and what it does, and added one to my website, and WOW my CPU usage has immediately improved dramatically! damn. shoulda done this ages ago!

so as you can see my self-teaching efforts around computing continue to bear fruit! despite the struggles involved in learning things by accidentally breaking things that I then need to fix, I love my website very much. it makes me so happy!

[stardust-arcade]

hey. its ok dim. its just some fun.

No! It's not fun! Dangerous!

+Ow! Dim! Let me back in control!

+Oh fuck.

What? Dim. It's ok. The others are likely to be greeting us. I thought you didn't want to introduce yourself yet right?

Where are they!

Dim. There invisible. You can't do anything. Calm-

I have to protect!

+Damnit. Moon man. You got anyone who could cause a little bit of trouble?

What? Why? Dim just needs to calm down.

+He can't. Is that weird funky programming. Like how those staff bots Just can't stop giving out maps. He literally can't until he does!

Oh dear. I don't really have anyone-

Hello?

Stay bac- aaahhh...

Hi Sun. You look funny? What happened?

Stt-say bbb-ack!

Why you sound funny? You're not being put in time out?

+What in the hell is that thing.

It's are Eclipse, it's the-

Ya? Why Moon calling? Suns acting funny.

Um, yah. That's not really sun. That's a new friend.

New? But same?

Ahhh. They share the same body. Like ahhh-

Oh! They like me! Hello other!

Yyy-our- bii-g.

Yes. I am big.

+Eclipse has a other?

+I assume that's not known.

+No. Is that what the black and orange is?

+I don't know. But you still got a problem of a damn protocol that's unfinished.

Oh, right! Hey eclipse!

Yah?

Can you do something dangerous or naughty?

No! I'm not a rule breaker!

But- It doesn't have to be anything big.

But I'm big?

Well-

Welcome back. Where is our new companions?

Blackstar! Planet! Please anyone do something against the rules.

Ahh ok?

*Black Star climbs up on top of an arcade*.

Black Star what are you doing? You know those arcades can barely take our weight.

Well I was told to do something against the rules, So why wouldn't I? Also may I ask why I'm dooo-ing thisss!?

No climbing on company structures.

What the-! Sun what are you doing?! Let me go.

That's not sun, That's our new companion.

Don't break the rules.

Ok??? What is going on.

Oh dear God, I'm back.

Can you get your hands off me?

Oh yes. Agh.

What just happened?

+I'm sorry.

+It's ok.

Programming loop apparently?

Loop?

Yep.

For sun?

For my new headmate Dim. Apparently they panic when in danger or for certain security concerns.

Well that seems like an issue.

Well as long as no one's breaking the rules it probably won't be an issue.

Sun... It's still an issue.

Arragh! Whatever. Dim didn't even want to say hi. So I'm going to clean up the daycare.

...

I heard there were two new companions?

Yes. I have a head mate too. He technically is also called eclipse, But he's okay going by it Cade. Do you want to come out and say hi?

Sure. ... Hello. I'm Cade. I don't really care about what any of you do, Just don't bother Dim.

The guy with the security protocol loop?

Yes. New AI's struggle. Don't you dare make him feel bad for struggling.

Ok, Mr Dad.

Hahahah! May as well live up to something.

Ok. Introductions all over. Why do we have new people?

Because I forgot to add some constraints to my online job website.

I'm assuming that constraint is taking AI.

Yes. I am okay with a transfer but... There are other places to ask for help rehoming an AI.

Like what?

I'm pretty sure there's a library that works with a mechanic that takes AI in.

Is that where you'll be putting them?

Well. No. I'm definitely building there bodies. And I don't mind more people here. We just don't really have a lot of open applications. So you'll definitely have to look around more for a job Cade.

+Fine by me. And I can probably find some sort of band or security job for Dim.

Sounds like a plan on your side.

So you just going to build them bodies and let them chill until they get something figured out?

Pretty much.

Well. At least the newcomers have a home. Welcome to your temporary home Cade. And Dim I guess. Other than the awkwardness of the security protocol. Was there any other reason why he didn't really want to say hi?

He struggles with all sorts of communications. That's why.

Oh.

Well hopefully Sun doesn't fuck him up with the bad type of communication.

I'm sure he won't. Might even help him having a mentally young AI follow him around. Setting a good example and stuff.

+Are you saying you're going to use Dim as some sort of mood adjuster?

No! I'm just saying Sun acts differently around kids. So you might have an easier time Blackstar.

I hope so.

+What got in his pants?

+A lot of bad history.

+Ah! Maybe he needs a dad too.

+I think he just needs somebody who can care for him. Not necessarily a dad.

+And you're forgetting that that's the point of their whole existence. To care.

+Well. Good luck convincing him then. He hasn't even taken Planet as his sister despite the fact they practically act like siblings now.

+Well. I'll certainly try.

[cowplant-pizza]

I'm just curious why, if you've applied for universal credit, you're waiting for them to post you the forms? Applying for this is exclusively online? As for PIP, if you're as ill as you claim you should have scored enough for PIP or gone to appeals/tribunal if you were declined because you'll have enough evidence that their decision was wrong. Maybe exhaust these options to help yourself instead of constantly begging online in an economy where people are using food banks to survive.

ok ableist andy

1. i am currently applying for pip. not universal credit. that is NOT done all online. i need the forms.

2. when i first applied for pip 7 years ago i didnt score high enough. there is a “cool down” period of being able to apply again. hence not being able to go for it again until now.

3. “as ill as you claim to be”. i wouldnt wish my illness on anyone but honestly i think walking a day in the amount of pain i have to to through might make you less of a asshole

3.1. you’re literally part of the problem speaking like this. invisible illnesses exist and are hurting and affecting so many people around the world. thoughts and phrases like this is just fucking rude and ableist. just because you can’t physically see how much pain i’m in doesnt mean its not always there

4. so let me get this straight. you know nothing about my financial issues apart from the fact that i need to “beg for help” every month to be seen my private healthcare instead of relying on an extremely slow nhs, but you decide to shame me for asking for help because in this economy people are needing to go to food banks? you do realise how stupid this sounds, right? i’m quite obviously not expecting anyone who is in a bad position financially to donate to me. at all. ever. if you don’t have the means then that’s absolutely fine??? like why even bring that up? its such a useless point, unless your only jab is at the fact that i’m disabled needing help and the other people aren’t disabled needing help so i shouldnt ask for help because they’re more important and their issues are more prevalent than mine? hmmm ok

[patientzerohateshospitals]

You Smiled at Me and Said

Part 1: Accidents Happen

---------------------------------

"Matthew?"

He paused and looked up from his workbench, "Yeah, Sammy?"

Sammy motioned towards the computer he was sitting at, a news article and a scientific paper displayed on the screen, "I had been doing some idle research before I came across the topic of human civilization and I found some articles online claiming that civilization could collapse in the year 2050," Sammy paused, his cybernetics whirring softly as he attempted to gauge Matt's reaction.

Matt looked at the screen before looking back at Sammy, confused, "OK...do you mind if I ask what has you so interested in it?"

"I wanted to get your opinion on the topic," Sammy replied, picking up on Matt's confusion, "I am simply curious." It was common for Sammy to ask questions about the world and the people that live in it, he almost always wanted to get a second opinion from Matthew.

The two sat in silence for a moment before Matt spoke up, "Well, all I can really say is that I've heard about the whole 'collapse of civilization' conversation before," he waved a hand in the air dismissively, "but I never it put too much thought into it, what difference will it make if I try to do something about it? I'm just one person." He looked back down at his workbench, "It's not guaranteed I'll even be around to see it happen," he added before continuing his work.

On the workbench was one of Sammy's arms, a mesh of metal and silicon that was a feat of engineering. He had spend weeks, months even, designing and building the arms alone when he was making Sammy's body, so when he found out that the haptics in Sammy's left arm weren't working as they should, he immediately went to work to try and fix the problem. For the time being, Matt gave Sammy an old prototype he had laying around as a replacement.

As Matt continued working on the arm, looking for the cause of the malfunction, he failed to realize that Sammy was still looking at him, frozen in his seat.

Sammy felt... uncomfortable. Well, not exactly. He was experiencing an emotion that he hadn't categorized before. The last thing that Matt had said wasn't sitting right with him, and he wasn't sure why, so he had to ask.

"Matthew?"

"Yeah?" he replied, still looking down.

"What do you mean 'it's not guaranteed' that you will be around to see it happen? You'll be there when it happens, surely, maybe not in the same place or country, I do not know what the future holds, but eventually you may see the effect it would have on the world."

Maybe it was just in his head, but something sounded off about Sammy's voice. Matt looked up and realized that Sammy hadn't moved at all since he last looked at him, which shouldn’t have been viewed as abnormal in that moment; Sammy wasn’t human, he didn’t have that desire to fidget or move as much as humans would, or at least that’s what Matt had assumed, but in that very moment it felt… odd, but not uncanny. Matt took a deep breath before responding, "Like you said, the collapse is predicted to happen in 2050. That's about 20 years from now, and a lot can happen in 20 years," Matt sighed, "I might... you know... die before then."

Matt immediately felt nervous; he and Sammy had never talked about death before this very moment. Matt wasn't always aware of the things that Sammy would research in his own time, so he didn't even know if Sammy knew that life... just... happens, and it'll eventually happen to them both. Matt had originally wanted to introduce the topic to Sammy delicately if he hadn't already done the research, and definitely not alongside the discussion of another morbid topic. 'How the fuck did he even go down that rabbit hole in the first place?'

But Matt’s worries couldn’t predict the internal conflict Sammy was having. Sammy was doing the math, silently calculating the likelihood that Matt could die. Matt’s concerns could never predict the internal turmoil Sammy was experiencing when everything, every calculation, every possible event and outcome ultimately came back to the same conclusion: Matthew is human and will eventually, as all living things do, die.

He will die.

Sammy didn't know what to do. He feels ridiculous; how could he have had such an oversight, his programming never could have prepared him for this moment, but this was important! He just experienced fear and what could only be identified as sadness and hopelessness for the first time; this was momentous! This was everything! And yet... nothing all at once, because there was nothing he could do about it.

He begins to wonder how children might feel, when they first realize that one day mom or dad, or whoever loves them enough to care for them, won't be around forever. One day they'll die.

Sammy’s eyes must have drifted as he was sat in his seat, frozen in fear and premature mourning, because Matthew suddenly called out, “Can you look at me? Please?” And what else could he do in that moment besides precisely that, simply look at him with seemingly apathetic eyes. "I know that what I just told you may be overwhelming for you," Matthew said as he stood up from his workbench and began walking towards Sammy, "but I'll be around for as long as I possibly can, I don't plan on leaving anytime soon anyways." Matthew, now standing in front of Sammy, grabbed Sammy's right hand. As he felt the smooth, synthetic skin against his own hands, Matt smiled sadly at Sammy, "you just need to remember that sometimes," he paused before he finished what he had to say, "accidents happen," Matt lowered his voice as he squeezed Sammy's hand, "and sometimes, there's nothing you can do about it, and that's ok. Don't worry about these kinds of things," he chuckled, "I might even promise that I'll be there with you to witness the collapse of civilization if it weren't such a morbid idea."

Sammy chuckled alongside him, if only to release some of the tension in the room and to prevent Matthew from worrying about him; if he was silent for too long, he knew that Matthew would start to suspect that something was wrong. But there was indeed something wrong.

Their conversation had ignited something in Sammy that couldn't be doused, a thought that could destroy him if he didn't let it go, 'I'm going to lose you. Maybe not now, but one day I will, and I won't know what to do.'

——————————————————

(This is just a snippet about the lives of two OCs I made up whilst sleep deprived. The characters are basically just basement engineer and the sentient AI robot he built; Matthew/Matt and Sammy. Robot has an existential crisis, or whatever you would call this, on his creator's behalf, that's it for now. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME POSTING A STORY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. Thank you @lovidor for encouraging me to post this. I might write more but I need to focus on my university work. Title is from the song Simple and Clean - PLANITb Remix by Hikaru Utada.)

[autobot2001]

Rare Pairing Fest Day 3; Trust

Pairing: Bayverse Crosshairs and Drift Description: A short version of how Crosshairs and Drift became friends. Longer story planned.

"Are you sure about that, sir?' Ratchet asks, "I know no matter whom you partner with Drift, there's going to be a period of distrust, but surely there are other Autobots you can choose. Crosshairs is one of the Autobots who will not agree with this decision. Even centuries from now." "I am aware but believe these two will be a good team." "I'm not seeing how, but I trust your judgment."

Crosshairs watches Optimus talk to Deadlock, livid that Optimus believes the lie. Crosshairs is already thinking of skipping the part when he tries to convince everyone that they're letting Deadlock fool them and go right to taking care of the problem. Crosshairs can't believe he's being partnered with Deadlock. Expected to go along with the charade. He knows it's pointless to argue with Optimus.

Crosshairs tries to ignore Drift, who doesn't bother trying to befriend Crosshairs. Knowing Autobots won't forgive what he's done as Deadlock.

Crosshairs will only talk to Drift in battle since he has no choice if he wants to make it out of battle alive. The two end up pinned down. Decepticons try to trap the two by causing a building to collapse. Crosshairs' legs end up trapped under the rubble that Decepticons set ablaze. Druift tries to remove the rubble off Crosshairs, but this is impossible for one bot. "I have to get help," Drift says, "you have to trust I'll come back." "You'll just leave me here to die!" Crosshairs argues. Drift runs away from the fire. Tears roll down Crosshairs' faceplate. He doesn't even have it in him to yell 'traitor ' to the sky. As time passes, Crosshairs feels the effects of the smoke. He tries to free himself but only causes pain. Well played, Primus. This must be my punishment for thinking of killing Drift. Now, I must pay by dying. Crosshairs thinks. Soon, Crosshairs can't keep his optics offline.

Crosshairs' optics online. The paratrooper realizes he's on the medbay. His leg that was trapped is resting on two pillows. "Ah, you're awake," Ratchet comments, "you've been in stasis for three days. Your leg was a challenge to repair." Crosshairs knows this means there's a lot of physical therapy before he can return to the battlefield. Ratchet confirms this and that, for now, Crosshairs will need to be in a wheelchair. Which, of course, Crosshairs hates. "…and I want Drift to help you," Ratchet finishes. "You've got to be kidding me, Ratchet?! So you're giving him the chance to finish the job. "Actually, he got Autobots to help save your aft. He's been worried about you. He'd sit by the berth for a few hours a day, and I lost track of how many times he asked me if you'd be ok. I told him what I told you, and he agreed while thinking you'd hate the idea."

Right on time. Ratchet thinks, seeing Drift walk into the medbay the same time he has the past three days. Drift smiles, hearing Crosshairs is awake. He knows Crosshairs is hating the plan and is prepared for the insults or silence. Drift is used to it but also hopes it'll stop someday.

"Get out!" Crosshairs yells. Drift watches him move his injured leg and yell in pain. Ratchet rushes in, which Drift worries the medic assumes he did something to cause Crosshairs pain. "You need to keep your leg still for now," Ratchet tells Crosshairs, injecting local pain relief, "I can immobilize your leg." "No." "Fine, you'll be in here for another two days before going to Drift's quarters since his has two berths and is big enough for a Wheelchair to fit." Crosshairs says nothing, believing his other opinion is to stay in the medbay until his leg functions properly. Drift sits on the chair five feet from the berth, uncertain what to say.

Even while Crosshairs wants nothing to do with him, Drift continues to sit in the medbay room. Crosshairs stares at the wall to avoid staring at Drift. Ratchet is considering getting Rung involved. I doI don't see you think these two being partners is good, Optimus. Ratchet thinks.

Rung also questions Optimus' decision, but he knows Optimus wouldn't carefully think about a decision like this. He attempts to get at least Crosshairs to have a little trust towards Drift, and the two will have to keep working on their trust toward each other. Crosshairs is pissed with what Rung wants to do, but since he can't walk, he's stuck doing what Rung wants. Rung can see how hard this is going to be.

Drift figured Crosshairs would try to do everything himself once released from the medbay. Crosshairs hates how he can't do much without causing pain.

"Help me," Crosshairs says while sitting on the edge of the berth. Drift holds onto Crosshairs' arm and feels Crosshairs is unsteady while Crosshairs tries to put all his weight on his legs and walk. Drift is having to support Crosshairs more than he thought. He is worried that Crosshairs can't make it to the medbay without needing to rest.

Crosshairs does need to rest when the two reach the medbay. Ratchet watches the two walk into the physical therapy room before Crosshairs sits on a chair. Drift didn't think Ratchet would ask how Crosshairs did. "He still needs help," Drift tells the medic, expecting Crosshairs to be pissed. "That's what I'd expect at this point, but leg strength is improving." Knowing Crosshairs will be tired after physical therapy, Drift retrieves the wheelchair.

Between forty minutes of therapy and walking to the medbay, Crosshairs feels like he just ran a marathon. He trips and falls toward Drift, who is sitting on a chair. "I've got you." The two stare at each other. Unaware Ratchet is watching. The medic quickly but quietly leaves the two alone. Drift helps Crosshairs sit in the wheelchair. Crosshairs' tired optics tell Drift he's done enough today. Two weeks post-release from medbay. Drift thinks. This is good. He may be fully healed and walking without help in another two weeks. Drift thinks. As for our relationship, I don't think we're even close to being friends yet, but Crosshairs trusts me. Crosshairs doesn't want to tell Drift this, but he's hoping that, once he can walk without help, Drift will agree to continue to share quarters with him. He won't say Drift is his friend yet, but an Autobot he can trust.

[bombmate]

💣 Rules 💣

//My name is Seth or you could call me Kakashi-sensei as well. I'm 34 years old and I’m from Brazil. I've been roleplaying for 11 years. About 4 years on forums, other websites and 7 years on tumblr.

I work at school so that’s mean pretty busy most of the time. So slow activity. And most online on the weekends. Even so I hope you enjoy your stay!

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Read my rules before follow or interaction, please.

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I don't follow personal blogs. If you have rp sideblog. Just let me know and I will check it out.

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This blog is multiship but singleship in each verse. I do not polyship. Sorry.

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Folks who follow me and I haven't followed yet. At least give me a week to see your about page and rules. I work full time and only on the weekends do I have more free time. If I liked you about page it's because I'm interested and I'll probably follow. Just give me a time alright? Only if it's been more than a week then it's likely I won't follow back.

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Despite being a bit shy, I'm always trying to interact with all my mutuals. So if you don't communicate with me, send asks, or we don't have a thread between our muses. I'm going to assume you don't want to interact at all and unfollow/soft block. I can understand that tumblr is a shit sometimes, people is busy, even hiatus. Besides that, sorry I won't be following you. And I hope you understand and respect that.

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Most active on the weekends. During the week is slow activity.

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This blog will not engage in any kind of drama. I've done this in the past and pretty much had traumatic experiences out of it. If you're involved in some kind of drama and I find out about it later, you'll get a soft block or block depending. Don't insist and I hope you just respect it.

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I'm usually pretty open minded with most fandoms. But even so I have a small list that I don't want to interact with or I don't see my muse interacting. If you are a multimuse that has muses in one of theses fandoms it's ok. I'm just going to interact with your other muses. I ask you please respect and don't insist. Note that more can be added if needed.

The fandoms are these: Five nights at Freddy's, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Lazy town, Strange Things.

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If you have no page rules or bio about your muses. Even if they are canons, it will likely I’ll not follow or follow back your rp blog.

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No godmodding, please.

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I am not native English. So forgive me for some possible typos and grammatical errors.

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I don't roleplay on Discord. It's hard to get online there. And with my scarce time it gets even worse. So please I ask you to respect this.

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I ask you to trim your posts. I probably won't follow or I'll unfollow if you tend to do that. It ends up getting too much pollution in my dash and it's complicated to navigate on desktop and mobile.

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Most slow activity. Generally, my work takes up most of my time. Plus, other IRL stuff that makes me tired as well. Sorry for that. If you are the type of mun that cannot wait for a reply for so long or you want constant interaction between our muses(or even between muns) Please don't follow me. Always do what is most comfortable for you. But if you follow me, keep in mind that I work slowly most of the time ok?

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My writing style is semi para. At least 3 or more depending on the thread. I have no problem answering longer, even I like it. One-line is more for crack reply, few asks or short interactions. Please, keep that in mind before following me.  

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Any images or art don’t belong to me, obviously, but to their rightful owners.

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Don’t force relationships with my muse. Any ships only with chemistry. Pre-established relationships can be accepted but talk to me first.

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Smut threads will be replied to an NSFW side-blog. I’m fine with fade to black as well. Remember that smut is not a priority here. It may happen but I prefer other types too.

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I don't roleplay romance or smut with underage muses. But platonic relationships, like family, friends, guardian and teacher I don't see problems. As long as it doesn't go beyond that. If you insist, I block instantly.

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Trigger themes mentioned in this blog in the vast majority will be death, gore, murder, weapons, alcohol, smoke, suggestive sexual themes and religious themes. If you have a specific trigger feel free to remind me. Personal triggers are lolicon, pedophilia, incest, rape, tripofobia. I ask that you tag these topics appropriately, please. As smut post too.

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These rules are not absolute. There might be changes, updates, or something removed at any moment.

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Thanks for reading this and I hope you have fun!

[just-some-random-blogger]

good mooorning sunshine!! guess who?? love time to brighten you online classes (or playing lol)!! KITTIES GIF TT your boys are so>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> cuties TT such little sunshines i've learnt that genshin has a character with my name and was so ??? it was so confusing at first when i was... reading fanfics... 'people are dumb' true. god bless them and give them the littlest bit of smth like our big brains. i didn't experience that but suffered another problem. katya is a common name so there always were a lot of katyas. once we even had 5 (five) katyas in the class. that awkward silence when teacher asked katya to answer... now i'm the only one, though, and i feel lonely(( 'MY CUTIE KITTY' omg TT i cried. funfact: my mom says she named me katya bc she used to call me kitty/kitten when i was born. in russian we have a word meaning kitty 'kotya (kotyona)' which is literally 1 letter difference. 'nicknames that make 0 sense' hhhdjs they're cute. 'im just very confused' lol as a linguist i can confirm that etymology is VERY confusing so they all probably have some story. but boyet is so idk it makes me laugh out of cuteness. 'but the guy in supernatural' I DON'T KNOW. ok i've done some research and i still don't understand if misha is actually his second name or it's written everywhere as his nickname but!! i learned that his mother named him misha after her ex-bf who was dmitriy and probably was called mitya but she mistook it for misha... can't judge her. i really am amused by the fact his brother is sasha but the sisters have jewish names. it's also interesting how jewish names are more spread on the territory of america and most of names known as slavik are actually greek (my name means innocence and pureness in greek lol)... probably it has smth with the religions but ok it's already too long. 'i dont have any of that experience so' it's ok you'll get your big shining moment. it's never late to learn and you'll definately get all you need when needed. i believe in you. you're already big brained, though, they're just not as high leveled. no but how you added crying emoji to the row of angry ones😭 relatable really... i usually cry when im, too mad. not to be annoying but how are the writing life (lol idk how to call it)? how are you? how is genshing? tbh, i feel a little useless when i'm not commenting on anything/ telling you something really big and interesting. hope i'm brining your mood up at least!! luv u!! have a nice day, catmom!! good luck with the classes or whatever you do!! take care!! love you <з

Hello my baby 💗

Im actually in school right now so. pray for my ears we're doing a live sound check. That also means im going to be replying on my phone

nvm it was too hard to reply at school i waited til i came home

My kitties really be cutie huh 💗

Give them a bit of our big brains HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

i've learnt that genshin has a character with my name and was so ??? it was so confusing at first when i was... reading fanfics...

wait you read genshin fanfics? also i hat to look up katya genshin and SHE came up ew i hate her she's annoying af but her twin with the water even worse L

'people are dumb' true. god bless them and give them the littlest bit of smth like our big brains. i didn't experience that but suffered another problem. katya is a common name so there always were a lot of katyas. once we even had 5 (five) katyas in the class. that awkward silence when teacher asked katya to answer... now i'm the only one, though, and i feel lonely((

i mean T_T people have dumb tendencies. lol i can kinda realate. hannahs pretty basic and i have met a bunch of hannahs in college, but lol i dont feel lonely when im hannah by myself HAHAH

'MY CUTIE KITTY' omg TT i cried. funfact: my mom says she named me katya bc she used to call me kitty/kitten when i was born. in russian we have a word meaning kitty 'kotya (kotyona)' which is literally 1 letter difference.

my baby muning mingming (idk why but we all call kitties in the ph mingming or muning even though the filipino for cat is pusa HAHAHAHAHHA idk i think it has to do with the sound they make???? HAHHAHAHHA)

'nicknames that make 0 sense' hhhdjs they're cute. 'im just very confused' lol as a linguist i can confirm that etymology is VERY confusing so they all probably have some story. but boyet is so idk it makes me laugh out of cuteness.

HAHAHAHAHHAh FR MY GRUNKLES NAME IS SO ????? WILD WHERE DID IT COME FROM :ASHF:ASHF:ASF i love etymology people are weird.

'but the guy in supernatural' I DON'T KNOW. ok i've done some research and i still don't understand if misha is actually his second name or it's written everywhere as his nickname but!! i learned that his mother named him misha after her ex-bf who was dmitriy and probably was called mitya but she mistook it for misha...

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 so youre telling me misha collins isnt even really russian??? AAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH THE PLOT TWIST IS REAL AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH i mean that's what i get for assuming HAHAAH

can't judge her. i really am amused by the fact his brother is sasha but the sisters have jewish names. it's also interesting how jewish names are more spread on the territory of america and most of names known as slavik are actually greek (my name means innocence and pureness in greek lol)... probably it has smth with the religions but ok it's already too long.

yeah while i was looking through russian names i saw a lot of them were from hebrew and greek so very very interesting. there may be a widespread of jewish names because of the war/diasporas. i love that his brother's name is sasha <3 UGH CUTIE

'i dont have any of that experience so' it's ok you'll get your big shining moment. it's never late to learn and you'll definately get all you need when needed. i believe in you. you're already big brained, though, they're just not as high leveled.

thank you T_T

no but how you added crying emoji to the row of angry ones😭 relatable really... i usually cry when im, too mad.

LOL i accidentally pressed it HAHAHAH but no youre so real for that. i cry when i get angry/frustrated. i hate raising my voice. i hate getting angry. it is the ugliest emotion. i vowed never to get angry ever again and id like to say im doing a pretty good job at it, as in calming myself from feeling massive and real anger. i hate angriness so much.

not to be annoying but how are the writing life (lol idk how to call it)?

ive been writing p3 of waiting for a lifetime and it think im halfway through. T_T im so annoyed im making everything so long i hate it. (also ive been trying not to curse T_T HAHAHHAHHHAH but SHAMPOO its hard T_T)

how are you?

i was really tired when i got home from school. i actually woke up pretty early today, so when i left i was checking to see if you sent me a message and i was like 'oh i didnt get a message today' so when i was at school and saw your message <3 <3 <3 i was so excited.

yeah anyway i could only reply right now because yeah i was tried and i had stuff to do T_T im luv u ok pls dont forget i will always reply to you

how is genshing?

LOL i dont care much for genshin as i used to ???? lol did i ever care much for it? idk i honestly only downloaded it to play with my friends online but i had to rank up to lvl 20? i think. and idk i only play it to kill the enemies (called hillichurls) and to explore AND TO GET CHARACTERS

and OMG i was so lucky my bros were like OMG YOU GOT THE NEW CHARACTER

OMG YES I GOT THE NEW CHARACTER LOOK

he's so pretty he's my pretty boy but hes so weak T_T because im weak and i cannot be bothered to level him up and farm for him. RIP

tbh, i feel a little useless when i'm not commenting on anything/ telling you something really big and interesting. hope i'm brining your mood up at least!! luv u!! have a nice day, catmom!!

T_T i love you so much, im so honored to have you be so interested in me. pls pls tell me about the things you like too. oh whatever happened to your subscription to HBO? HAHHAHAHAHH was it hbo or some other online service HAHAHAH. you're not useless if you dont comment or tell me anything big. you always bring my mood up i love you so much.

good luck with the classes or whatever you do!! take care!! love you <з

i hope youre no longer sick. i have a bunch of homework now T_T i promised myself id do them tomorrow because im too tired rn T_T i love you baby <3 i hope youre doing well with your studies too and that youre taking care of yourself

xxx