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#ok i need to go to sleep now lol
needsmustleap · 1 month
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no see results option. if the poll doesn't apply to you skip it and/or check back later!!
*by this i mean: the dough/batter of the recipe called for eggs, and you cracked them into a bowl or whatever (mixed in other wet ingredients as necessary), then set the container to the side after incorporating them into the dry ingredients to use whatever's left for an egg wash. i guess this also means you didn't use a spatula for this part? could go either way?
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— 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔦 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔞 𝔟𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖊 | AMC’s IWTV
also known as ”local woman is roused to learn editing to deliver everyone this fandom classic” (the video's synced better on desktop)
transcription/video description under the cut:
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[video description: a fan video/edit of amc’s ”interview with the vampire” by tumblr user @eternalstateofoctober (me!!) set to a shortened version of lenka’s ”everything at once”. the video clips are cut to the rhythm of the song and its changing lyrics. the song is catchy and upbeat with a light, bouncy rhythm and a whimsical but also slightly melancholic vibe at times. it has a steady beat with repeating piano notes and some xylophone. the video clips are muted so only the song is playing, save for a few voiceover lines and sound effects.
(instrumental intro, repeating piano notes)
the théâtre des vampires orchestra starts playing and another member checks the projector. a watermark with the username @eternalstateofoctober flashes on screen and disappears at the same time as a projector light flickers.
🎵 as sly as a fox 🎵
two clips of daniel after the trial script reveal. first he tosses the script to louis, then he pushes his glasses up and casts a hard look at an off-screen armand.
🎵 as strong as an ox 🎵
armand uses the mind gift to make the coven fall asleep at the dinner table in 2x04, voiceover of him yelling ”enough!” angrily and banging the table. table settings clattering. then lestat using the mind gift at the trial to manipulate louis’ sentence. his left ear starts bleeding. VO lestat: ”banishment...”
🎵 as fast as a hare 🎵
louis sprints at daniel in ’73, making him stumble back.
🎵 as brave as a bear 🎵
clips of young daniel being tortured by armand. first he lifts his gaze, then there’s two clips of him being slammed down by armands powers. last clip is him closing his eyes while armand holds his face. VO of daniel’s grunts and whimpers.
🎵 as free as a bird 🎵
claudia on stage as baby lu mimes opening a window made of projections happily.
🎵 as neat as a word 🎵
claudia writes in her diary in season 1, the clip has a double exposure effect with her pen moving on the page.
🎵 as quiet as a mouse 🎵
a wide shot of the sewers the children of darkness inhabit.
🎵 as big as a house 🎵
establishing shot of the théâtre des vampires building. suddenly the screen flashes black and there’s a quick flickering shot of the talamasca logo on daniel’s laptop screen and a glitching sound effect.
🎵 as mean as a wolf 🎵
close-up of santiago on stage in 2x02, he looks right at the audience seductively.
🎵 as sharp as a tooth 🎵
shots of the vamps baring their fangs. lestat ripping the priests throat out in 1x01, claudia in madeleine’s shop, louis in ’73 showing off to daniel, armand hissing at lestat in 2x03.
🎵 as deep as a bite 🎵
extreme close-up of lestat biting louis at the altar.
🎵 as dark as the night 🎵
madeleine lights a candle that illuminates her face during a power outage. she’s watched from outside her shop window by a curious claudia.
🎵 as sweet as a song 🎵
young daniel embraces armand after armand has manipulated him to accept death. armand strokes his hair and there’s armand’s calm whisper as a voiceover: ”i’ll hold you…”
🎵 as right as a wrong 🎵
claudia’s real turning. lestat looks up from an off-screen louis who’s begging on his knees. in the second clip he’s kneeling next to claudia on the floor and lifting her upper body while louis’ back is still turned to them.
🎵 as long as a road 🎵
louis’ finger taps a spot on a map in the warzone.
🎵 as ugly as a toad 🎵
the vampire bruce cocking his head.
🎵 as pretty as a picture, hanging from a fixture 🎵
lestat’s portrait hangs on the wall in the théâtre’s green room in 2x02, jumpcut to it in flames in 2x08.
🎵 strong like a family 🎵
the de pointe du lac and frenière families pose for a portrait at grace’s wedding. the clip changes to the next with the camera’s flash going off.
🎵 strong as i wanna be 🎵
VO Madeleine: ”mais j'ai survécu.” (”but i survived” in french). shots of madeleine’s past, the trial by mob. extreme close-up of her crying face, the angry crowd surrounding her, her screaming while her hair is shorn. the segment ends with her throwing an iron through her shop window where a group of locals has just painted a swastika. sound effect of glass shattering.
🎵 bright as day, as light as play 🎵
madeleine’s vision of claudia as she’s turned. claudia in a yellow dress in madeleine’s shop, smiling to the camera—at madeleine—and turning to the mirror. the whole scene basks in warm, bright afternoon light.
🎵 as hard as nails 🎵
grace looks up at a slightly off-screen louis in 1x05, a hard, difficult look. they are at louis’ fake grave at night and grace is holding a funeral bouquet.
🎵 as grand as a whale 🎵
two clips after one another. first is louis being buried alive in 2x07, a silent scream as the rocks rush to cover his face. second one is his feet stepping onto the rocks in the penthouse’s sundial room. VO old daniel: ”where’s your coffin?”
(the music quiets and slows down slightly for the next line.)
🎵 as warm as the sun 🎵
close-up of claudia burning in the sun at the trial. she is turning into ash but still looks at an off-screen lestat.
🎵 as silly as fun 🎵
several clips in rapid succession. murder family laughing at a movie theatre, them dancing together—holding hands, claudia cheering riding the sidecar of a motorcycle in paris during the théâtre’s group hunting, armand smirking wearing malek’s glasses, vamp daniel’s tv interview, him laughing at the host.
🎵 as cool as a tree 🎵
real rashid steps slightly forward, hands clasped behind his back with a neutral expression.
🎵 as scary as the sea 🎵
two clips of armand in ’73. first his eyes shake as he slams daniel down with his powers in the background, then him turning slowly—eyes wide—to face daniel that’s sitting in front of him.
🎵 as hot as fire 🎵
three clips showing fire in the show. first: daciana throwing herself into the flames, second: armand’s fire gift, him looking at a flame in his hand, third: the théâtre’s fire starting behind louis as he looks into claudia’s mirror backstage. the mirror reads ”tweedily deedily dead”.
🎵 cold as ice 🎵
louis cuts off santiago’s head, louis smirking, looking down. VO: louis’ satisfied chuckle.
🎵 sweet as sugar and everything nice 🎵
VO louis and old daniel: ”would you like a sample?” ”i’m a savory man most days.” with first a clip of armand-as-rashid’s blissful expression as louis drinks from him at the dinner table in 1x05, then three clips of sweet treats: the strawberry dessert from 1x02 being set in front of daniel, daniel taking a bite of it, then young daniel sipping his grasshopper at mary’s. the clip ends with old daniel’s hand pushing his coffee cup forward, requesting a refill.
🎵 as old as time 🎵
armand stares at a painting depicting him in the louvre, eyes wide, brows slightly furrowed, head slightly turned.
🎵 as straight as a line 🎵
the recording on daniel’s laptop flatlining, him looking at armand, armand smiling warmly at him.
🎵 as royal as a queen 🎵
lestat basks in all his king raj mardi gras costume glory, he smiles widely up at the camera positioned above his head.
🎵 as buzzed as a bee 🎵
lestat on stage in 2x03, wiggling his shoulders, smiling playfully, flipping his coat tails up and bending over for the audience.
🎵 as stealth as a tiger 🎵
estelle and celeste spying on louis and claudia in paris.
🎵 smooth as a glider 🎵
armand floats up the louvre floors as louis and dreamstat take the stairs.
🎵 pure as a melody, pure as i wanna be 🎵
first, a shot of louis and paul dancing at grace’s wedding, smiling at each other. then, a close-up of paul sitting of the roof, turning to look at an off-screen louis as the screen slowly fades to black and another watermark appears. the voiceover is paul and louis’: ”i love you, louis.” ”i love you too, baby brother.”
/end video description]
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skyloftian-nutcase · 1 year
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I want to take a 100 year nap, Wild, move over.
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msbhagirathi · 6 months
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IPKKND LIVE BLOG SEASON - 1 [EPI - 3]
Cooommmeee onnnnn. Let'zzz beegggiiiinnnn.
Satvik Mishthaann Bhandaar. Khushi opens the cylinder's regulator's knob. Picks up the oil cannister, with tears glistening in her eyes.
Khushi's flashbacks of the lines that broke her heart :
i) "Mat kaho hume Amma." (Don't call me your mom.)
ii) "Payal iski sagi behen hoti tabahu aisi harkat karat?" (Had Payal been her real (blood-related) sister then would she do something like that ?")
iii) "Aaj tum saabit kar dee ho ki tum humra khoon naahi ho." (Today you have proved that you don't consider us as your own.)
iv) "Tum jaisi ladkiyon ka kya hai, ek jayega dusra phasaa lena." (This should not be a problem for girls like you, if one slips away then trap another.)
3. ANDDDDD- she lights the gas and makes jalebis. As we all get to know that stress eating and stress cooking are her outlets.
4. Sun comes up and we are in the next day. Hii Bitwa. Good morning.
5. We see Arnav, again, drowned in the horrors of his past. The head of his PR team comes and informs about the damage control but also tells his boss about his suspicions that some media people might still have managed to get hold on a few photos and videos.
6. But Bitwa is in no mood to listen. He gives him a threat, straight, of getting black-listed from the corporate market and having to spend the rest of his life in a 'kiraane ki dukan' (General store). Calm down angry young man, it's not good for your health.
7. He asks about his schedule to Rajesh (his secretary? then who was Aman? Lol. Whatever.)
8. Oh. So Bitwa eats oats(or toasts? Whatever.) for breakfast everyday. He is surprised to see channe ki roti, (orange-?) juice and fruits. He asks about the change and-
9. There comes his Di. "Hum jaante the, ki tum hume miss kar rahe hoge, chhotte." Look at his face. It's like 'not again'. Lol. Just sibling things.
10. So, Di wants her chhotte to complete her mannat and Our Bitwa has a very valid question, "Di mannat aapne maangi hai toh mujhe kyun puri karni padegi?" (Di, if you had asked for the wish then why do I have to complete it?) Lol. Just some Bitwa things.
11. I agree with Bitwa, here, Di. Why does he have to- OH OH OH I FORGOT- HE HAS TO MEET HIS WIFE THERE. HOW STUPID OF ME TO FORGET. Lol.
12. On a serious note, I hope you know the symbolization, here, Anjali, herself, called Khushi into Arnav's life, as his mannat.
13. Arnav, begrudgingly, accepts to go to the dargah for completing the wish. But. Of course. Without having the channe ki rotis, his Di made.
14. Excuse? Me? Khushi? Is? Still? Making? Jalebis? Like? What the-?
15. HAhahahahahisddifvoaidawdw. Jalebiyan ka mount everest. I am wheezing. (Jalebis' mount everest)
16. Lol. In an interview, Sanaya had mentioned that she likes all type of sweets except jalebis. I cannot help myself but focus on that thing. Babuji offers her a jalebi and Khushi is shown taking a bite, only that Sanaya did not take a bite, she just pretended to. I just cannot overlook it. Ok back to the serious-ness. Stop distracting me, okay?
17. I want to say something. I- it's so beautiful and heart touching, a father consoling his daughter but making her understand her mistake but also making her feel that whatever she did, that is to stand up against dowry system, is also A VERY RIGHT DECISION, but her way of taking matters into her hand, was also very wrong, she should have talked about this to her father. I felt so at peace. The father-daughter duo give off such a beautiful, soft and touching vibe.
18. He also consoles her for the things that Buaji said to her last night. In fact, he started the conversation with those words. Coz he knows and understands how gut wrenching it might have been to listen those harsh words.
19. The society people gather up and show their support and understanding towards Shashi babu and his family.
20. Stop making those annoying faces, Buaji.
21. Bitwa is on his way to the dargah. He asks his manager not to cancel his meeting but says will get delayed by 10-15 minutes.
22. They have reached the dargah. Khushi's first ever 'Laad Governor' makes an appearance. She talks of giving him a mouthful if she sees him ever again.
23. Did you notice this too? Arnav has changed his suit. Earlier, this morning he was wearing a grey? suit, i think and now there's a shiny black suit, with black aviators.
24. He starts walking and guess what, the cravat is back. *heart eyes*
25. Bitwa is well, Bitwa. Someone comes and tries to ward off evil eye with those peacock feathers and the way he dodges it off with making that face. Lol.
26. Payal tells Khushi to cover her head and Arnav, being an obedient jethji/jijaji, covers his head as well.
27. Is it coincidental that the first syllable of Arziyaan song starts just as Arnav enters the frame? And also the fact that the song is addressed in first person pronoun so it seems like it's been sung on Arnav's behalf.
28. "Tere derr pe jhuka hun, mitta hun, bana hun." (I have been destroyed and re-made myself (by hardships of life?) and I am bowing down at your doorstep.) This line, in fact, this whole song is made for our dear broken Arnav baby only, and only for him. I got emotional. Wow. Back to the epi.
29. Payal goes to take the niyaaz and Khushi crosses Arnav's way and her dupatta wraps up around his head. I think, he is kind of intrigued by it, coz he keeps looking at the back of that girl, in all white. Also, maybe tries to -identify?- her-what's with that unreadable expression Bitwa?
30. "Pyaas le ke aaya tha, dariya woh bhar laaya,
noor ki barish mein, beeghta-sa tar aaya."
How beautifully these lines along with Arnav entering the main entrance of the dargah, have been synced together. I mean. Wow. (Click the lines to read the translation.)
31. Inside the mazhaar. Khushi, what is this behaviour? Wait for your husband.
32. I really got a few second goosebumps here. The fact that they are just a mere inches away, separated by that-wall?- tying the sacred threads, praying for their loved ones.
(Arnav, I hope so you are praying and not thinking that you are the mighty ASR and you don't need all that blessings and shit, just pray. For yourself. For your mental health, my boy. You need it. Believe me. You really do.)
33. "O ek khushboo aati thi,
mein bhatakta jata tha,reshm-si maya thi,
aur main takta jata tha."
Are they hinting at the telepathy that Arnav will start experiencing after a few days? Uhhuhh, foreshadowing, I see. Writers are very clever.
34. Khushi is complaining, to Khwajaji, about her meeting with 'woh'. Lol. Tell me Khushi. Who is this 'woh' here? I did not understand.
Also, Khushi says that, for the first time, she had to hide something from her babuji which means no one knows about their first meeting yet.
Khushi and her 'woh' sitting opposite to each other. One complaining while the other listening looking around with a frown in his face.
35. Do you know this fact that girls in India, after getting married, address their husband as 'woh' to every one else and even if they have to take their name, they add an extra 'ji' after it.
Did you see what I did there? Heh. I iz veri kelever.
Bitwa is looking at his wife leaving, after ranting about him.
36. Are you following her Bitwa? Do you love her already? So. Both are there, to tie their 'mannat ka tala'. Khushi prays to Khwajaji, to get her sister married to a good man, as she cannot bear to see her sad. On the contrary, look at Bitwa's face. He is doing 'all this' just for 'his Di's happiness.' And careless bitwa, instead of keeping the key in his pocket, lets it slip away from his hands. I realized that I loved the BG score here.
But, his wife Khushi will make sure he rightfully gets back his mannat ki chabi. Look at Arnav's face, when she calls out, to hand him the key. He already knows it's the same girl (the girl from that previous night).
37. He does not turn immediately. Look closely, he turns as if to gauge her reaction. Her polite-slight- smile drops as she realizes that it's her 'woh'. Khushi, still very much affected by last night's harassment, clutches her neck-line, in fear. Arnav looks at her face, already smitten tells her to 'phek do' it. (Throw away)
Turns back and leaves. Khushi realizes that he 'phir suna diya' to her. (He, again, had the last word.)
38. The BG score, that is playing, here, is basically played for Khushi every time whenever she has an idea for some thing in general or is talking to devi maiyya (i think?) or is talking to herself or is ranting about her LG or has a 'brilliant' idea to exasperate her LG and here, is giving a pep talk to herself.
39. Arnav is doing his ASR walk without disturbing anyone and Khushi is doing her 'Hum Khushi Kumari Gupta' style running, skidding, jumping and scaring everyone around her, with her chaotic run.
40. Khushi comes to a stop. Arnav notices her and stops as well. My God. How is it possible that I can literally feel her, being out of breath and not being able to get out a single word from her mouth, without breathing loudly, just after running a -what-few meters-? Lol. I love Sanaya.
41. Bitwa is like 'calm down babe, have some water and sit down first.' So, Arnav is staring at her and walking towards her, with slow and careful steps. Khushi, obviously afraid, steps away from him, trying to maintain a safe distance.
42. Screen freezes at Khushi's face and starts to fade out. *quickly pauses it* Precap. Don't like spoilers.
P.S. : I thought their argument over god and their beliefs would be in this one only. Btw, I loved Khushi's look and hair as well. Arnav's was fine. I loved loved loved babuji's scene with Khushi in the morning. I loved it. It was so soothing for Khushi, as well as, for all of us viewers too. Also, all the 'wife' and 'woh' jokes that I made for Khushi and Arnav are still not relevant, here, because of the harassment that was shown in the last one, so please don't take it seriously, I just did it to add some humor to it. Please don't take it the wrong way. Ok, bye. Have a great day/night ahead. God bless you.
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balkanradfem · 1 year
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Is there anyone who has an opposite problem of waking up late? I wake up early against my will. I don't know if it's the homesteader dna syncing me up with nature, but if the sun is up, I am up. It doesn't matter if it's 5am, I am awake if the sun exists above the horizon. Doesn't matter if I went to sleep at midnight or 2am, I will be up at 5 and unable to sleep for a second more. I have to go to sleep at 9pm if I want decent sleeping hours.
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jellicle-chants · 8 months
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@ride-a-dromedary Since you asked, here's my beef with Hugh Jackman Meredith Willson's The Music Man Sutton Foster. (No really, that's what the soundtrack album cover looks like.) Basically, I think the revival did a terrible job of capturing the soul and energy of the original show. If you want to read my protracted rant about it, then by all means, continue below.
(Note: I'm mostly going off of the movie adaptation to count for the "original" since it's the version I'm used to, but I also listened to the OBC recording occasionally to see what was shortened for the movie.)
I think the first big thing I should mention is that Hugh Jackman is simply a terrible choice to play Harold Hill. No offense to him, but in my eyes he's always been better at playing a character who seems very charismatic but is actually a bumbling fool (i.e. PT Barnum). Harold Hill might be a conman, but his whole livelihood revolves around getting people to believe that he means what he says and then believe that, too. You need an actor with an incredible amount of charisma and presence to be able to pull that off, and IMO, Jackman is not that actor.
He's also (again IMO) really just snoozing his way through this recording, especially on 76 Trombones! He's dropping R's left and right (to the point where it almost sounds like he's making the effort to sound Southern) and they had to add in a trombone sound behind his mimicking one because it sounds SO dull. Then he mispronounces "Creatore" somehow?? I know that's the littlest thing to get upset over but it also just shows how little this show's creatives know or care about what this musical is all about (more on that later).
And then: they do the MMM thing from Cats 2019. AKA, where they drop out all of the orchestra and sing the biggest song, probably the song that the most people in the audience will know, in a really annoying, slow build-up that entirely kills the flow of the piece. Speaking of killing the mood, the dance break in the middle of the song really does that as well. "76 Trombones" is about the farthest you can get from broke, so I have no clue why they tried to "fix" it in this way.
My least favorite Hugh Jackman song from this soundtrack, however, is not 76 Trombones, but Marian the Librarian. Just from the off, this is one of my favorite musical theatre vamps ever and they absolutely ruined it by playing it at like twice the normal speed. It also starts in the wrong key and then keys up again (???) before he starts singing, and from there it only gets worse. He basically gets every single vowel he possibly could wrong (my favorite being the classic Brit-as-American "Watt can I do") and just trips and falls through the entire song extremely uncharismatically. He says "li-berry" at one point, for goodness' sake! Please, if you haven't listened to the original Robert Preston version of this song (either from the movie or the show), go do it now and then listen to the mockery Hugh Jackman makes of it. It's so obvious that Preston has such a better command over his voice and sound that it makes Jackman sound like he has no clue what he's doing.
Sutton Foster is not nearly as bad as her co-star, although I think she's also miscast. Obviously a Shirley Jones-style voice is really hard to recreate these days, but she's just got such a bright singing and speaking voice that if you had told me in 2021 that she was going to be playing Marian I would've thought you were bad at fancasting. I think she still does a fine job with the poor directing choices she was given — a true professional.
OK, some quick things before I get to the most infuriating part of this revival.
It was also very bold of the creatives to not only keep My White Knight, which is one of my always-skips of the original, but to also add another one in in "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean".
Why the hell is Pick-A-Little so slow??? It's a patter song, folks, it's supposed to be peppy.
I guess they directed the poor kid playing Winthrop to exaggerate the lisp as much as possible (could they have considered maybe just hiring an actor with a lisp instead?) because it straight up sounds like he's putting it on as a joke most of the time. 😬
I think the new lyrics to "Shipoopi" are cringe. Is it that hard to suspend your disbelief that people in 1912 had antiquated views on relationships? Is "hussy" really even that bad of an insult anymore? This song also gets the slowed down + long-ass dance break treatment, God save me.
So, if you're familiar with The Music Man, you might have noticed that I haven't yet mentioned a few key songs/moments. This is genuinely the part of the story of this revival that makes my blood boil. If you're unaware, 4 side characters in The Music Man make up a barbershop quartet, played in the original Broadway production and movie by the Buffalo Bills, a pre-existing quartet who Willson had become friends with even before writing the show. The Bills get multiple songs in the show, all sung in the barbershop style, and they all show off the iconic barbershop effect known as ringing chords, created from the quartet's just tuning. (I don't know enough about music theory to get into the weeds about this, but suffice it to say that barbershop singing and musical theatre singing are not interchangeable).
Apparently, when the revival was first being produced before the pandemic, a barbershop quartet called Category 4 was approached to play the quartet members. Great! Then, allegedly, post-pandemic, it was, to quote a spokesperson for the revival, "in the best interest of the show" for them to suddenly cut ties with Category 4, which would have broken contracts Category 4 said they signed. Less great. Instead, the 4 men credited as playing the quartet are Phillip Boykin, Eddie Korbich, Daniel Torres, and Nicholas Ward. I say "credited," but keep in mind that the OFFICIAL cast recording on Spotify does not credit Nicholas for "Sincere" AND "Lida Rose" (where Phillip's name is also misspelled), and on the two songs he is credited for, Spotify seems to have him confused with a violinist/conductor of the same name.
I bring this up to say that I don't blame these men for the situation Category 4 was put in — it seems the producers or someone else behind this production is extremely sloppy and willing to cut corners, including casting four musical theatre singers as a barbershop quartet. Because of this mindset, the songs are distinctly missing those ringing tones that are present in the Bills' versions, replaced with what I can only describe as "tricks" to make it seem like the harmonies are ringing, like a heavy overuse of dynamic changes, especially sforzandos. There's also at least one moment where one member (I think it's the tenor?) straight up sings the wrong note and completely changes the chord. Obviously I don't blame him for not being good at a singing style he literally isn't a professional at, but if there were at least one person in the booth familiar with barbershop or the original song, it hopefully would've been re-recorded.
And that's what hurts me the most — Meredith Willson was a huge fan of barbershop music and the Buffalo Bills especially, and now the music he wrote for them is being butchered by people 60 years later who want to make a quick buck. This revival has "cash-in" written all over it, from stunt casting the leads regardless of how well they fit the roles to not bothering to get actual professional barbershop singers to play a barbershop quartet. It's a soulless attempt to resurrect a great musical that didn't need to and shouldn't have happened.
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mangoisms · 11 months
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this time of the year is so rough because it’s supposed to get as low as 50 tonight and i’m already cold and want to turn on the heater but then the high is also going to be like 74 so i will inevitably have to switch it back to the ac at some point in the late morning and. yeah
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minhmynchi · 5 days
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(venting in the tags ignore this lol)
#minhmy.rambles#(i just need to shout this somewhere where my friends don't see so they don't worry too much about me)#but oh my god work just got worse for this week im already working every day but tomorrow (aka in six and a half hours)#i will start at 5am and end at 9pm aka a double shift bc my coworker tested positive and there's no one else that can work#just for tomorrow but the rest of the week ill be working 1-9#which i hate even though im used to it night shifts are just boringgggg and takes up a lot of my time#which i already have so little of#my mom said i should clean my closet and i was going to tomorrow bc i wanted to play grandfest today but now i cant do that#bc ill literally be at work all day lol#and god its just so hard its so so hard but it could be worse. it literally could be worse#i cant be here as much anymore bc im so busy and tired i just draw when i can and drop them all here and leave#and i miss writing a lot but i have even less time and even less motivation and the more i work the more awful i feel#and i don't want to worry anyone like . i just don't#but its so difficult for me it really is#theres so many things i want to do but i cant do any of it and im so tired im literally so tired#like im not gonna end my life kinda tired i have a lot to look forward to. but work just really sucks and i am Tired#and i Like my job its literally the easiest and ill never have something like this again#but urghghghh. urggfhhghgh. death pain and suffering#if i draw more sif and loop suffering lol. this is why. i need to get the emotions out somehow and i don't want to cry over it#i cant cry bc i need to work i just have to keep my head up i just have to keep at it i just have to be strong and not break#i can do it i can.. i know i can i've been through worse#its just. augh.#ok done. sorry i rly rly should sleep soon bc of my 16 hour shift tmrw lol its past 10:30pm already
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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I just wanna listen to music ragged with rage and emotional desperation. But it's kinda hard to search for that sorta thing.
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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ok lore updated for this bitch
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like half of it is just relationship drama which is EMBARRASSING but i mean. what else am i here for really. the other stuff is way harder to explain but god i tried!!!!
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theclearblue · 3 months
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kuiinncedes · 3 months
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the absolute lack of gIee on this account is kinda funny lmao 💀
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wewontbesleeping · 4 months
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dude i don't understand night people at ALL. i stayed up until like 2 with some friends, and i'm just WIPED now. it's almost noon and i feel like absolute shit lol.
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kimmkitsuragi · 4 months
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not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything
#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh#dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol#im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so#i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today#bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao#ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome#stupid girl as always#anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry#if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this#well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid#got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3#truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao#what's even more stupid is im still like well. well 🤠 hey maybe 🤗#i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao#and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao#truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc#all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like 😴😴😴 still hoping for the best dont worry#and that's because im stupid#🗒#i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/
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marsbotz · 7 months
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goodnighttttt everypony [demons clawing at me]
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wickedhawtwexler · 5 months
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ughhhh nobody let me on this website until i make the changes i need to make to my resume and apply to some jobs
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