#ok i need a nap now

[djservo]

HI CAS!!! you beat me to it for real i also completely forgot about the month ending oopsie <3 but i'm here to ask about your july reading/watching and what's on the list for august??

FEELS SO GOOD TO FINALLY WIN ONE <3 here's july's (vaguely red-themed) shelf:

I have no idea how i read 7 books this month like they were mostly all under 200 pages but that still averages to almost 2 books a week which does not sound right when I reflect on my month but Ok sure we'll go with it

Loaded by Christos Tsiolkas

it didn't really click as I read it but then I watched the film adaptation (Head On '98) and let it all marinate throughout the month I think the distance has made me appreciate the story much more! reminded me a little of Camus's The Stranger (<- girl who has only ever read The Stranger LOL 🫥) in that cold disaffected "why even bother" way, but infused with that self-destructive 90s gay angst + Greek-Australian culture clashes. the film was better to me at constructing the differences of the worlds Ari (the protag) inhabited - the visuals and sounds of Greek language + spaces juxtaposed with 90s electronica + seedy alley hook-ups whereas the written form seemed more focused on illustrating Ari's disillusionment/attitude. there's another book by Tsiolkas I'm curious in (The Slap) but it's like 450 pages and IDK if his style of writing will grip me that long / if it'll feel Worth It by the time I finish ykwim... TBD

Pageboy by Elliot Page

I wanted to like this so bad but it was kinda a mess to get thru :-( nonlinear form so it was hard to follow along as it hopped back and forth from childhood to adulthood and I know that's probably an intentional/artistic choice but there wasn't really a clear thread pulling these drastically different parts of his life together where it justified this random shuffle - mostly just took me out of each stage of life he constructed. it feels unfair to criticize a memoir for content because ofc there's no right/wrong way to reflect and write about your own life experiences but I mostly agree with Nin's review on goodreads re: lack of introspection, especially since this memoir touted itself as an interrogation (as the book description puts it) of his inner journey. there was this one part where he brings up his second-ever experience at a gay bar (with Alia Shawkat!!) but abruptly stops himself and is like "but that's a story for another book" and I was like WHY THO!! this is 10000% a story for THIS book WDYM 'another book'!! sighhhh sigh whatever I still love him and will probs pick up this taunted "other book" when it comes out bc i'm a cuck

Try / Guide / Period by Dennis Cooper

the final 3 of the George Miles Cycle, read obsessively within the span of 2 weeks bc I couldn't bring myself to escape his world!! feels wrong to lump them all in one but I'll be here all day if I talk about them individually, so As A Whole I'm just really in awe of Cooper's style and characters and world-building and blurring of lines of surreal horror and violence + occasional earnest smatterings of autofiction + humanity stripped to its core. one review said the last book read as if it was collapsing into itself, and I think that translates to the series as a whole because his form seems to get more experimental as the series goes on. and while each book felt so distinct in their own tone/form, they all ultimately dissolve into like a singular bare naked truth amidst bleak depravity at the very end, which I really liked. since finishing the cycle I've immersed myself completely in interviews + videos + just about anything i can find about Cooper and realized it's been a minute since I've been this bewitched by an author — so fun!

Blood and Guts in High School by Kathy Acker

in the same realm of Cooper with dark/taboo themes + sexual transgression + teen angst. I feel like I might have been put off by this if I hadn't read Cooper first because things get so blunt and nasty at times, but I feel like I'm better at kind of poking through the rubble of like graphic depictions of moralistic decay to read between the lines/understand the bigger picture of inner-adolescent-torment. I remember watching Welcome to the Dollhouse ('95) when I was like 11 and it just seemed cool and punky and kinda funny kinda weird but then I rewatched it in my 20s and was stunned with how bleak and heavy it was and I feel like there's something there with my feelings towards these angsty teenage requiems, like there's a sort of shock value that doesn't really click when you're younger and in the thick of it because you aren't fully privvy to the extent of how harmful power dynamics work or something .. IDK much 2 think about....

Desire/Love by Lauren Berlant

not too long or dense to make your brain fog, but Freud/Lacan-packed enough to make you feel a little stupid for not reading more Freud/Lacan. I love when I read a nonfiction book and end up adding 458349 of its references to my TBR, it's truly the gift that keeps giving! kinda enlightening, kinda disheartening. made me think of when I read Venus in Furs in college and it rocked my world and put me into a crisis about love + desire + fantasies + the projections we place onto people + whether or not anyone can truly See and Love a person for who they are or if we're all just doomed to subconsciously inject our own imagination of who they can be in our lives ...... light summer reading!

viewing-wise I've taken on the thankless task of watching all 48534 Friday the 13th movies so once I finish I'm sure I'll need a slasher break. a friend and i are also summer buddy reading starting with A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf (my first Woolf!), then pivoting to a sorta dark boyhood in classic lit theme with Quarry by Jane White, Lord of the Flies by William Golding, and Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. I'll probably read other books on the side myself (I'm in the middle of Looking For Mr. Goodbar right now) but I'm excited at the thought of a themed plan + discussions for the month(s) ahead! i forget sometimes how rewarding it feels to experience and unpack a book with someone else <3

[ping-ski]

eclipse and y/n are finally done!! (you can find EBY sun & moon here)

these refs aren't that much different from the old ones aside from small changes :3

(old) EBY DCA ref

(old) Y/N ref

[sollucets]

favorite characters x favorite color: yok

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when you try to stargaze but all you have is ceiling set lights. and they're not even on. smh

[dailyloweffortpace]

Day 20: aaauughfgsgxgvnnfgjnd

[cupiidzbow]

OK IM NORMAL AGAIN . I love pookie 🤗🤗🤗

[b4kuch1n]

fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot

[bunnihearted]

[invinciblerodent]

I'm so tired. "Too much XY character content!" "There's not enough content about this and that!" "This character is so underappreciated, I need more content for XY!"

Well make some bloody content then, Samantha

[skyloftian-nutcase]

I want to take a 100 year nap, Wild, move over.

[triflingshadows]

[thecubes]

im gonna start throwing things

[delicatetaysversion]

i have done everything to make myself as tired as possible so i can sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but im wide awake😭

[marsixm]

i did so much today im so tired

[floral-hex]

Okay okay, I usually hate posting selfies, but then again, I also love a little mild attention. So, to strike a balance, here are 4 recent ones, but I’m posting them at 2am so I don’t have to worry about bothering too many people. Yeah? Ok thanks I love you